#and failing means i have to stay in uni for a whole year longer bc they only offer the classes every other semester

[umilily]

i think someone could threaten to shoot me and i would still be procrastinating.

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

MysMe Characters as Songs From Musicals

I am almost certain this must have been done before hahah, so I’m in no way claiming this is an original idea. These are just some of my Sunday afternoon thoughts which I felt like sharing😅💛 I gave everyone two songs bc I’m indecisive LOL

Zen

Kiss The Girl - The Little Mermaid (just made me think of the the VN when they’re on the roof watching the stars)

There, you see her Sitting there, across the way She don't got a lot to say, but there's something about her And you don't know why, but you're dyin' to try You wanna kiss the girl

Lay All Your Love On Me - Mamma Mia! (almost chose this for Jumin, but it’s just so ~sexy~ that I couldn’t not give it to Zen ;))

I wasn't jealous before we met Now every man that i see is a potential threat And i'm possessive, it isn't nice You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice

Yoosung

When She Loved Me - Toy Story (okay not really a musical but sHUSH. I use this completely unironically for his relationship with Rika. He got hurt bad, guys)

So the years went by I stayed the same But she began to drift away I was left alone Still I waited for the day When she'd say, "I will always love you"

Proud of Your Boy - Aladdin (for when he meets MC and starts to get back on track. Courtesy of @sunshinejihyun <3)

You'll see, ma, now comes the better part Someone's gonna make good cross his stupid heart Make good and finally make you Proud of your boy

(everyone else under the cut!)

Jaehee

I Won’t Say I’m In Love - Hercules (when Baehee friend zones you but you just tell yourself she’s pulling a Megara. This is her at all of us fools)

No chance no way I won't say it, no no (Give up, give in, check the grin you're in love) This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love (We'll do it until you admit you're in love) You're way off base I won't say it Get off my case I won't say it

She Used to Be Mine - Waitress (bby works too hard and loses a part of herself. The first lines remind me of how she has to dress/act a certain way in order to work for Jumin...)

It's not simple to say Most days I don't recognize me These shoes and this apron That place and its patrons Have taken more than I gave 'em

Jumin

Something There - Beauty and the Beast (everyone’s shocked to see what love does to Jumin <3)

There's something sweet and almost kind But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined And now he's dear and so unsure I wonder why I didn't see it there before

Come What May - Moulin Rouge (JUMIN is shocked to see what love does to Jumin <33)

Never knew I could feel like this Like I've never seen the sky before I want to vanish inside your kiss Every day I love you more and more

Listen to my heart Can't you hear it sings Telling me to give you everything

Saeyoung

I’d Give My Life For You - Miss Saigon (you’re telling me this ain’t him @/ Saeran before he left him with V and Rika? lemme just clean up the shards of my broken heart off the floor one second) 

You will be who you want to be You Can choose whatever heaven grants As long as you can have your chance I swear I'll give my life for you

If I Could Tell Her - Dear Evan Hansen (him in every route that isn’t his. And in his as well tbh. Just him all of the time)

But he kept it all inside his head What he saw he left unsaid

If I could tell her Tell her everything I see If I could tell her How she's everything to me

But we're a million worlds apart

And I don't know how I would even start If I could tell her

and a BONUS because apparently I like tears:

With You - Ghost (for the reset theory)

Every place we ever walked and Everywhere we talked, I miss you You never leave my mind So much of you is left behind

Jihyun

Words Fail - Dear Evan Hansen (this whole thing made me said listening back to it with Jihyun in mind. Now you can be sad too :))

I never meant to make it such a mess I never thought that it would go this far So I just stand here sorry Searching for something to say Something to say Words fail, words fail There's nothing I can say

Falling Slowly - Once (okay that’s better cmon MC show him the love he dESERVES DANGIT. To me this screams Jihyun x MC during his route)

You have suffered enough And warred with yourself It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home We've still got time Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice You've made it now

Saeran

Where Is Love? - Oliver! (this initially made me think of Ray during V’s route when he misses MC ouchouchoUCH but I think it could apply to Saeran before Ray too)

Where is she Who I close my eyes to see? Will I ever know the sweet hello That's meant for only me?

I Dreamed a Dream - Les Miserables (no comment. You know what’s up. The lyrics speak for themselves, he’s just waiting for his brother and losing all hope😭)

And still I dream he'll come to me That we will live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms we cannot weather I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I'm living So different now from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

Rika

(for these you kinda have to view them in a twisted sort of way. I’m not saying the characters who sing these songs are like Rika, I can just imagine Rika singing these lyrics in a different context)

I’m Not That Girl - Wicked (when MC arrives and she realises that, after all she’s done wrong, she’s no longer that girl)

Don't wish, don't start Wishing only wounds the heart I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl There's a girl I know He loves her so I'm not that girl

Good For You - Dear Evan Hansen (and despite realising she’s no longer that girl, she decides to blame everyone but herself...especially Jihyun because, for once, he didn’t choose her)

And you say what you need to say So that you get to walk away It would kill you to have to stay trapped When you've got something new Well I'm sorry I had it rough And I'm sorry I'm not enough Thank God they rescued you

~

I hope you enjoyed hahah, if you have any other songs that you would have chosen for a character do let me know!! so glad I spent my Sunday doing this instead of uni work OOPS

Have a lovely day!!💛

masterlist

[xmenimagine]

Imagine: What’s The Harm In Staying?

Requested by Anon. Includes: Anna-Marie D’Ancanto (Rogue) x Male!Reader Request:  · Ahh, no worries.How about Rogue x Male Reader then? Reader is the son of Jean and Cyclops from the future? Sorta like Cable, and the reader has the same abilities as in the previous request, and is introduced to rogue by Jean and Scott as their son from the future and she instantly has a crush on him. They later get to know each other and fall in love but when the reader has to go back to his timeline, Rogue persuades him to stay with her and the others, then they get married at the X-Mansion. Ability/Abilities: 1) Reality-Warping-Ability to change or manipulate reality itself. 2) Reincarnation-Ability to pass one’s spirit/soul into another body after death. Also allowing one to be reincarnated into any era or parallel world as well as retaining all memories, experience, wisdom, skills, knowledge and powers of their past lives.

Note: this was kinda a weird one to write bc I didn't know how to write it and incorporate both abilities. But I tried. I know it's not that good, but I really didn't know how to go about writing it.

I NEVER REALLY MENTIONED HOW MUCH TIME HAD PASSED SINCE YOU GOT TO THE MANSION TO THE TIME AT THE END, BUT JUST ASSUME A FEW YEARS HAVE PASSED AT LEAST

Note revised December 17th: when I first started writing this, I hated everything I wrote, in fact, I dreaded going back to the document to even look at it, but, after I scrapped like 9 different versions, I kinda started to like it??? Don't get me wrong, it's still pretty terrible, I haven't written anything non-uni related for a while, so I'm kinda rusty, but it's relatively okay?? Also, it's longer than I thought it was going to be.

Note revised February 16th: so, I'm still writing this, huh?

Note revised February 27th: I've finished, but I'm going to read over and edit what I can. It's probably a real mess, things probably don't make sense, but hey, is that not literally how everything I write ends up, unreadable and a train wreck??

It is also 13 pages

    Both of your parents stared at you in disbelief, and you couldn't exactly blame them. Only a few moments prior, you had explained to them that you were their son, granted you had explained to them that you were their son from the future who had the ability to be reincarnated and sent in any direction in time, as well as being sent to any parallel world, but you were still their son nonetheless. Jean, your mother, had stepped back slightly until she was able to sit back against the sturdy oak desk behind herself, her hands clutching the edge of it as her eyes scanned over your figure. Scott, your father, on the other hand, had his arms crossed over his chest, and a scowl was firmly set on his face. The wrinkle in his forehead deepened further as his eyebrows had furrowed, and, although you couldn't see his eyes, you were sure he was glaring at you. Again, you couldn't blame him. If a random stranger, who looked nothing like you or your significant other, had come up to you and told you that they were your child from the future, or even from a parallel world, you wouldn't believe them. Even if said stranger did look vaguely like you or your significant other, it still wouldn't be something that you would believe—they could have been delusional for all you knew.

    While standing in silence for a few moments, there was an odd pressure behind your eyes for only a few seconds before it disappeared. After squeezing your eyes shut, having lowered your head to look at the ground, you groaned, remembering where you had felt the pressure before. "Mum, could you get out of my head for a second? I hate it when you do this."

    In an instant, the pressure was gone and you looked back up. Jean, who sucked in a deep breath, had left out a soft laugh, a smile spreading across her face. "How—?"

    "Like I said, I'm your son, even back in my world you had the habit of going into my mind, made it harder to lie to you when you could just see if I was telling the truth or not."

    "So, it's all true?"

    "Wouldn't have said it if it wasn't."

    "Okay, so let me get this straight," your father, Scott, uncrossed his right arm from across his chest to hold out in front of his body as if it would help weigh down the facts you had told him before and keep them there as a steady foundation. "You're our son, from the future and you time travelled—"

    "No."

    "No?"

    "I didn't time travel, per see."

    "What the hell does that mean?"

    "I am your son, from the future, you got that bit right. But I have the ability to reincarnate, and sometimes, when my spirit is being pulled into another body, I'm sent to a different era and sometimes, a parallel universe, which has happened this time."

    Scott stared at you, occasionally turning his head to look at Jean, who hadn't stopped staring at you with a glint in her eye, before turning back to you, his right hand still out in front of himself, although he wasn't moving it like before. "And you're here to warn us about the future?"

    "A possible future, like I said before, it might not happen, but there is a chance that—"

    "Professor? I have a—" The door opened, and you turned around, both of your parents had also looked away from you and to the door where a girl, with strands of pure white hair, had stepped halfway into the room, her eyes widened and fixated on you. "Oh!"

    "Rogue, t-this is our son, from the future," Jean broke the silence, her voice still filled with awe.

    Awkwardly, you waved, just wanting to fill your parents in on everything that was happening—or will possibly be happening—before you had died and ultimately reincarnated, without any interruptions. "Hi," you said bluntly, forcing a smile. Rogue, undoubtedly a name that she wasn't born with, had a faint smile as she waved back, mouthing the same words back to you as if all the air had been sucked out of her.

    She continued to stare at you for a while longer before you cleared your throat and she jumped, blinking at the same time before she looked over at your mother and muttered, "I'll come back at a different time, sorry for interrupting."

    After that, the door closed. With a slight shake of your head, you turned back to look at your parents. Of course, someone just had to interrupt this crucial moment. Jean had given you a pointed look—one you were oh-so-familiar with—and you gulped, placing your hands in the pockets of your jacket. Scott, on the other hand, had cocked his head to the side, still sizing you up, despite clearly seeing you, his son, displaying the same behavioural traits he had when he met Jean. Scott shifted on his feet. "What else can you do, if you don't mind me asking?" Scott failed to notice the smile on Jean's face when she realised he was subconsciously taking an interest in his own child.

    With a shrug, you replied, "Reality warping, although I'm not that good at it."

    "So, what does that mean?"

    "I mean, there are different subcomponents. Like, true illusion, turning illusions into reality, or wish-granting, controlling reality by granting wishes, or—"

    "Like a genie?"

    "Dad."

    "Sorry."

    "I can basically break the laws of physics, but, as I said before, I'm not that good at it. It's another type of ability to manipulate matter, like telekinesis… so, Mum's ability. I mainly take after Mum with my powers, as they're more like hers, and because she's more powerful. Which means I don't have to wear sunglasses all the time like you, no offence, Dad."

    "Gee, none taken."

    "So, you believe him now?" Jean interrupted, turning her head to look at Scott, her smile now stretched into a grin.

    "What?" He raised an eyebrow, only turning his head slightly towards her, but not fully taking his eyes off of you.

    "He called you Dad and you didn't even care."

    Scott tore his eyes away from you and looked at Jean, he shoved his left hand out towards you, palm facing up as it jutted out at you accusingly. "I was more concerned over the fact that he insulted me, Jean!"

    "He called you Dad before the insult."

    Scott stayed silent, clenching his fists. "Damnit."

    With the nod of your head and a slight smile, you brought your hands back out of your pockets and clapped them together before rubbing the palms of your hands against one another. "Alright, so, Dad's on board with the whole 'me being his son' thing as well, cool, this is now going a bit faster than before, which is good because I could die soon and then you could end up dying because I never got to warn you…"

    "Hey!" Scott yelled, causing you to stop rambling abruptly.

    "Sorry," you mumbled.

    Jean pushed off of the desk and stepped towards you, placing her hands on your upper arms, squeezing gently. "Just take a deep breath in." She waiting until you inhaled deeply. "And breathe out." She smiled as you did. "Now, tell us from the beginning what happened before you died."

-

    Rogue—or, Marie, as she had previously mentioned in a nervous, yet, off-handed, comment a while back, that it was what she would have preferred you to have called her instead—had been staring at you from across the room. You were sure that she was trying to be subtle about it, but you could feel her eyes on you as you tried to eat your bowl of cereal while listening to your mother ramble on about something to a group of other students. It was getting out of hand. Her gaze seemed to find and linger on you every time you entered a room. You were sure your father would have made a comment saying that you should enjoy the attention or something along those lines, but he was clueless, and definitely not someone you should go to when it came to other people or relationships, that job fell on Jean. However, she was busy at the moment, and you honestly just wanted to finish your cereal before you continued your training with her.

    While caught up in your own head, thinking about how bad your father was when it came to acting like, and being, a dad, apparently Marie had taken it upon herself to move closer to you as she made her way over to where you were, at the back of the room, while you leaned back against the wall. There was already a blush on her face as she smiled a nervous, toothy grin. "Hey," she greeted in a shy tone, while you simply nodded, considering as your mouth was full of cereal. "We haven't really spoken much since you got here," she pointed out.

    After chewing slowly, and swallowing the cereal, you nodded again. "Yeah, I know."

    Marie's smile faltered slightly and it now seemed more forced. It wasn't like you were trying to be cold to her on purpose, you just didn't have a clue how to act—thanks, Dad. It also didn't help that you didn't really know her that well. She was still a stranger to you, you had only met three weeks ago, and occasionally saw her once or twice a day in passing. You had to hand it to her for trying, at least, it was more than what you could say that you were doing—again, not on purpose. She cleared her throat, glancing at the front of the room where the rest of the students were filing out of the room before she turned back to look at the ground in front of the both of you.

    "Mostly because Mum's been hogging me, you know, excited to meet her kid that she didn't know she was going to have…" you commented, catching her attention immediately, as you tried to repair the already awkward moment, but you seemed to have only made it worse. "That… came out weird."

    Marie laughed to herself and looked down, tucking her white hair behind her ear with her gloved hand. "It's okay, I don't blame her," she mumbled quietly, but not quite enough to where you couldn't pick up on it.

    "That, and Dad had been trying to force me to do magic tricks and grant him wishes like a genie. He still doesn't really understand what my version of reality-warping is, but I give him credit for effort, I guess."

    That time, Marie laughed a bit louder and slightly harder than before.

    "Also, sleeping takes up quite a bit of my day, and showering…"

    "Oh."

    "Not that I'm doing anything while I'm in the shower! I mean, I am, but I'm not like… I'm just… I'm going to shut up, that's what I'm going to do."

    Her cheeks flared an even darker hue of red listening to you ramble, and you were fairly certain that yours had matched. Before you looked down at the bowl in your hand—and noticed that your cereal was now a clump of tasteless mush—you saw her chew the inside of her mouth, trying to stop the smile from growing on her face.

    "In an effort to try and redeem what very little reputation I have left, we, uh, we should plan to meet up and get to know each other. I'm not sure how long I'll be here, but it'll be nice to hang out with someone who isn't my parent… I'm not painting myself out to be cool in any way here, am I? I'm just making myself out to be a freak whose only friends are his parents," you rambled, wishing that you had the ability to know when to shut the hell up and stop digging yourself further into your own grave.

    While Marie's gaze moved from the ground and towards your face, she grinned, lifting her head, as if your embarrassment gave her some sort of confidence boost in knowing that she wasn't the only one who was socially inept at that moment. "Yeah! I'd like that. And, don't worry, I don't think you're a freak, not even close."

-

    There were broken pistachio shells lightly scattered about the kitchen island where both you and Marie were sitting. The two of you were sitting just slightly away from some of the others, including Bobby and Kitty, who were at the larger kitchen table, closer to the window. The larger group often roped the two of you into the conversations that they were having, but you ultimately kept to yourselves, talking quietly to one another, where only the two of you could hear each other. The half-drunk bottles of beer in front of you were now room temperature and had been untouched for almost half an hour, almost completely forgotten about—which wasn't that much of a shame considering as they weren't that good, and seemed to be some sort of knock-off brand from what you were used to, back in your original universe. As Marie lifted her hand to tuck her hair behind her ear, you could feel the material of her cardigan against your skin. She was practically glued to your side—as were you to her most of the time—and people seemed to take notice, including Bobby.

    "Hey!" Bobby called out, catching your attention, as well as Marie's, as you both turned your heads to the side to look at him, to see what it was that he wanted. "Do either of you want to join us here at the table? We're playing cards, we promise we won't cheat," he commented, his eyes glancing over at you momentarily before landing back on Marie.

    Marie shook her head. "No, thanks, I'm not in the mood to play cards, thanks for offering though," she declined politely, turning back to the table, picking up her beer bottle which was still three-quarters full. You glanced over at her, your head still turned to look back at Bobby.

    "Do you want me to cool that down for you?" He asked her before you could even respond to his first question, and you looked away from Marie and back over at him.

    "No, thanks," she pressed on without looking back at him. "But thanks for offering."

    "We're alright, Bobby. Enjoy your game," you quickly added on, forcing a friendly-looking smile at him before you turned back towards the bowl of pistachios.

    "Okay…" Bobby mockingly sang quietly.

    You weren't sure if he was trying to start something or not, but you ignored him and glanced at Marie as she took a sip. "Back in my original universe, this stuff was a lot better, granted it also had a slightly different name as well. It's just a shame that I couldn't have brought any with me, I think you would have liked it."

    Marie looked at you, with the top of her bottle resting on her bottom lip and she smiled, which spread into a grin. "Is that your way of telling me you'd take me out for drinks?" She asked quietly, placing her bottle back down on the countertop. "You know—"

    "You know," Bobby interrupted and you couldn't help but roll your eyes and look back at him, noticing his eyes were trained on his cards. "If you miss your original universe so much, then, you know, you're free to leave and go back." He turned his head away from his cards and looked at you, staring at you with a challenging look. That seemed to hit home. You knew that one day you would have to leave, you couldn't stay in this universe forever, you'd have to go back to your original one at some point—granted you'd never truly be yourself again, only reincarnations. The fact you had stayed in this universe for as long as you have, was probably having some sort of negative effect, but you weren't sure what it was. Bobby raised an eyebrow at you, waiting for some sort of response, but you couldn't give him one. You looked away from him, staring at Marie's shoulder, not wanting to fully look at her face, just in case she was upset by what Bobby had said, you wouldn't have been able to take it. All you could think about was the fact that you would have to leave, and you would have to say goodbye to your parents, your new friends, and Marie. Just the thought of that alone had made you want to throw up.

    "Why don't you focus on your card game, Bobby, I'm pretty sure you're losing," Marie commented as she slid off her chair and stood up. "If us being here is so much of a distraction for you, then we'll leave." She held her gloved hand out to you and smiled once she felt the warmth of your hand through the material and felt your grip tightening around her's. "Let's go," she mumbled, pulling you out of the room once you got off the stool and stepped closer to her. "Have fun with your card game guys!" She called out before the door to the kitchen closed behind you. Once in the dark corridor, she let go of your hand quickly. "Sorry about that," she mumbled, not quite looking you in the eyes.

    With a small smile and a burning feeling across your cheeks, you reached out and took hold of her hand again. "That's alright, I don't mind." She bit her lip as she smiled, shyly glancing up at you before she leaned her head against your arm, hiding her face. "So," you started, trying to ignore the fact that one day you would have to say goodbye to her and leave her. "Where should we go?"

-

    Marie ducked her head underneath your arm as you sat on a sofa in one of the common rooms, her gloved hand had lifted your arm, causing you to look away from the pages of your book and over at her. She smiled to herself and she got comfortable and rested her head against you, opting to just stare at the tv instead of giving in to her desire to look back up at you like she wanted to. A smile spread across your face as you bookmarked the page and set the book down, pulling her closer to your body. It was the middle of the day, but everyone else had decided to either go outside—as the weather was nice, for once—or to just stay in and hang out in each other's rooms, you were sure that there were some down at the gym or training, but only Marie and yourself were making most of the fact that the younger students weren't hogging the tv like they usually would have.

    "I have no idea what is going on," you admitted after ten minutes of watching the show in silence.

    "You're kidding?" She pulled away from you and stared at you like you had grown another head—which, with your reality-warping training, you might have actually been able to do, as an illusion of course.

    "I'm really not," you shook your head, looking at her.

    "How do you not? The whole plot has basically been explained like three minutes ago!"

    You raised your hands in surrender, your cheeks beginning to feel warm, and no doubt going red, as you mumbled, "I was honestly just watching you watch the show, I wasn't paying attention."

    Marie's eyes glanced down from your eyes and to your cheeks before lifting again. "Are you blushing?" She teased.

    "Okay!" You dropped your hands and stood up, not really wanting to be embarrassed by her, but she quickly grabbed your arm and stood up with you.

    "No, wait," she spoke quickly with a light laugh. "I think it's cute."

    With a groan you tilted your head back, squeezing your eyes shut. "I don't really want to be 'cute', Marie."

    "But you are cute," she argued with a grin, pulling you back towards her, where she pulled you back down to the sofa, "which is why I don't mind telling you what has happened so far, but, this time, you better pay attention to the show and not me, deal?" She held her pinkie finger up, still teasing you.

    "I make no promises."

-

    In front of you, there was a large, enclosed, tank filled with brightly coloured coral—with colours you had never even seen before in your original universe—and almost unrecognisable fish, which seemed to glow in contrast to the dark—almost pitch-black—water. Some of the students were taken on a field trip, which you ended up going on as well after Marie pouted and begged for around all of twenty seconds before you caved and agreed to go with her, which annoyed you slightly. It wasn't as if you didn't want to go with her, it was the fact that she didn't have to try very hard to get you to agree to go with her. She definitely had some sort of hold over you, but you weren't going to complain about the fact that she wanted to spend time with you, and she wasn't bored or embarrassed by you or the things you did. You were planning on soaking up every second you could with her before you had to ultimately leave her. As you stared into the dark tank, Marie's arms were wrapped around your middle while her head rested on your chest. You were certain that she could hear the beating of your heart as her ear was pressed against you.

    "This is nice," she hummed, squeezing you gently.

    "I can barely see anything," you replied, wrapping one arm around her shoulders, squeezing her back, while your other hand was shoved in your trouser pocket.

    "I'm not talking about the fish."

    "Oh!"

    "I'm talking about getting to spend some time with you away from the school," she continued, moving her head so she could look up at you with her chin resting on your chest instead.

    "I knew that."

    Marie laughed lightly, smiling up at you. "No, you didn't."

    "No, I didn't. But I do agree that this is a much nicer place to be with you than the school, or the arcade that had really sticky carpets, or that restaurant that had really stale bread sticks."

    Marie pulled away from you slightly, gripping the material of your jacket as she grinned. "Wait, so, does this count as our first official date or something then?"

    "It's more like our seventh, but, yeah, it can be."

-

    Jean had left you alone in the danger room almost three hours ago, you had spent most of the day with her, learning to control your reality-warping ability, considering as it was the only ability she could actually help you with that didn't involve you dying or being pulled to different time periods or parallel universes. Training started off small, focusing on changing the way objects looked, to how they functioned, then moving on to altering your own appearance, to bringing things into existence. It was tiring, but seeing the proud look on your mother's face, getting to spend time with her and getting to know more about who she was in this universe was the most rewarding part of it all. Sure, being able to make a cartoon looking bird appear out of nowhere was cool and all, but showing your father the trick was even better. Scott still tried to ask for wishes as if you were a genie, but at least the demands began to be a little bit more reasonable, as making him seven-foot-tall with a jet pack wasn't exactly doable. Only your parents had seen the extent to which your abilities had now gone, but you wanted to show Marie. She was an important part of your life, and you wanted her to be a part of your accomplishments as well, even if it was just showing her a purple elephant the size of a squirrel.

    "Hey, I've been looking for you," Marie spoke up from the doors of the room, catching your full attention.

    With a smile, you watched her make her way down the steps and to the middle of the room where you stood. "Sorry about that, I guess I kinda forgot to keep track of the time."

    She shrugged, smiling back at you. "That's alright, I made sure to keep some food for us for dinner, I mean, it's not much, but we can go heat it up now if you're hungry." She pointed her thumb behind herself at the doors, tilting her head.

    "In a minute, I want to show you something first."

    Marie noticed your nervousness and lowered her hand, furrowing her eyebrows. "Okay?" She quickly took hold of your hands, trying to ease your nerves, stepping just a little bit closer.

    "Just bear with me for a second," you mumbled

    Soon, the grey walls of the danger room began to fade hazily, being replaced by darkness. Marie looked around and squeezed your hands, watching as it replaced almost every inch of the ceiling and walls before it met the floor, where, instead of darkness, it looked like grass began to sprout up out of the floor. As it began to inch its way towards your feet, she looked up at you, catching a glimpse of speckled, twinkling lights behind you in the darkness, all the way up, until, in one of the corners—or where one of the corners would be—there was a hazy sphere of light, soon emerging into a clear moon. Her gaze was soon captured by what looked like a shooting star. A smile lifted the corners of her lips before she let out a small laugh, looking back down at you before looking around, noticing the darkness was replaced by a park scenery. Marie furrowed her eyebrows again and looked at you, waiting for you to say something.

    "I, uh, I remember you mentioned something about a park, at night, under the stars, I'm pretty sure it was a reference to a movie that you made us watch, but I'm sure you're well aware by now that I never watch the movies, I can only keep my eyes on you, wondering how the hell I got so lucky to end up here at the same time as you."

    Marie nodded slowly and bit her bottom lip, trying to stop her smile from turning into a toothy grin.

    "And I remembered how you said you wanted to go out and have a picnic, but we have a curfew and it probably wouldn't be safe for us to go out at night, which sucks, so, I thought, if we couldn't go out and have a picnic under the stars, I'd bring the stars and picnic to us."

    Her eyes began to water as she looked around, glancing down at the pink and red checkered picnic blanket now underneath your shoes, with a light brown, rectangular basket and some drinks laid out. "How are you able to do all this?" She asked sniffing, wiping one of her tears away with her gloved hand.

    "I've been practising with Mum. At first, everything was just an illusion, the food and drinks weren't corporeal, but, with a little extra work early in the mornings and late at night," you began, leaning down to open the basket, pulling out a fresh strawberry before you stood back up and held it out in front of you, "it became real."

    Marie glanced at you sceptically before hesitantly leaning forward, taking a small bite out of the fruit, her eyes widened as she began to chew. "No way!"

    "Good, right?" You grinned.

    She nodded but quickly furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head. "Why did you do all of this, don't get me wrong, it's amazing and I love it, but why?"

    "Because I love you," you admitted, lightly shrugging your shoulders.

    Her eyes widened and she smiled softly, her eyes being inning to tear again. "I love you, too."

    "So," you said with a sniff, feeling yourself becoming emotional as well, "how about that picnic under the stars?"

    She nodded her head again and grinned, wrapping her arms around you, squeezing. You laughed lightly and wrapped your arms around her, pulling her closer, savouring every moment you had with her like it was your last because you never knew when it would be. Marie pulled away and sat down, opening the—now dark brown and circular—basket to look inside, pulling things out—to lay on the, now, white and orange blanket. As you slowly sat opposite her, you tried to ignore the anxiety you felt about how staying here and using your abilities to this extent was altering the timeline, and possibly causing other timelines to malfunction and go off course. It had been in the back of your mind the moment you ended up here, but now, seeing who would be left behind and affected by the shift was causing a pressure to sit on your chest heavily.

-

    The door to the office you had hidden yourself away in opened and closed as someone—who you knew was Marie from the sound of her unique footsteps—walked in and allowed the door to slowly close itself. It wasn't as if you had hidden very well, you were in the office you had first met Marie in, she was bound to find you at some point. The heavy pressure in your chest sank deeper and deeper until you were sure your chest was about to concave inwards. Things had begun to change, colours began to look different the longer you had stayed, certain shapes had begun to change, but only you had taken much notice of it. Sounds had started to shift into different tones. You weren't entirely sure if these changes were only noticeable to you, considering as you weren't from the same timeline as everyone else, but you were also unsure if that would stay that way. You refused to be the demise of someone else's universe; the weight of that burden would be too much.

    "There you are," she commented with a light laugh, making her way over to where you sat with your head in your hands. "Are you okay?" Her concerned voice caused you to drop your hands from your head, but you couldn't bring yourself to fully look up at her, you couldn't only faintly see her face as you stared at the wall in front of you.

    With a quiet voice, one filled with sadness and regret, you replied, "I have to go."

    "Go where?" She asked with a confused look on her face, but her smile was still there. Her fingers pushed some of your hair from your face as your head tilted back to look up at her when her hand stopped just above the nape of your neck.

    There was a lump in your throat that you forced yourself to swallow back down. "To my original timeline." Her smile dropped from her face, and a heavy pressure started to crush your chest. "If I don't, there could be consequences. I've never stayed in a parallel world for long, I always end up going back, I don't want to alter any future by staying."

    "But I thought you said you had died?"

    You lightly shook your head, knowing you never really explained the extent of your abilities to her in detail before. "I'll be reincarnated, Marie. I've done it before, I can do it again."

    "But… how? Couldn't you stay? Would it really be bad if you stayed?"

    "I don't know, I'm not even born yet in this universe. I don't know what effect I could have in this world if I stay here at the same time as being born. The world could literally cave in on itself and destroy everything, creating a black hole, which could, in turn, mess with wormholes and destroy other parallel universes or timelines."

    Marie quickly shook her head and kneeled down, resting her gloved hands on your knee, her eyes already brimming with tears. "Just stay with me, for a little while longer at least, you know until your parents start trying to have a child."

    "Marie—"

    "Please," she whispered, her bottom lip trembled, "just a little bit longer, I'm not ready to say goodbye."

    "I—"

    "If you stay and the world does cave in on itself, then, fine, I don't care, because at least I'll be by your side and you will be by mine, just, please… don't leave me just yet." Her hand moved to cup the side of your face but you stood up, trying to get the pressure that you felt to drop off, but, instead, it only followed.

    "You'd rather die than live a full life?" You asked as you turned to face her, shoving your hands in your trouser pockets to stop her from seeing them shake. Everything you felt, all the guilt and all the fear, was contradicted by the feeling of wanting and needing to stay in this timeline, to stay with Marie. It was as if she made those concerns dull and fade out like background noise.

    "My life felt as if it started the day I met you. I've only ever felt like I've been living since you've been here." She stood up, moving to stand in front of you, grabbing hold of the material of your jacket. "Besides, if the world does end then there won't be anyone alive to care." She shrugged as if wasn't a burden to think about, that the meaning behind it wasn't as heavy as it really was. But you couldn't really argue with it, especially when the only thing on your mind that truly mattered to you was the small box in your trouser pocket that held a thin, silver ring, which was a perfect size for her left-hand finger.

    "Well then, what's the harm in staying?"

[snowed-out]

time to reflect on the year so when i’m older i can look back and remember this shit. this post is so much longer than i thought it would be lmao but 2016 was truly a wild ride

so 2016 eh? the beginning was kinda rocky, i was just so fucking burnt out after cegep ended and had to make some big decisions regarding where and what programs i wanted to apply to for uni. i hate making any sort of decisions about my future bc i don’t really know exactly what i want to do with my life. i choose to go the route of commerce, particularly international management and i think what this year showed me is that it’s more of a means to and ends for me. i’m really getting the diploma so i can work for a company whose values i admire and i just really want to work for a good organization that’s making a positive impact on the world. and there are a lot of them out there so I'm sure when it comes time for graduation (if i even get there) i’ll have a better idea of where I want to be applying. but that was one of the toughest decisions to make bc i choose in the end to go to a uni an hour and a half away from home, meaning i’d have to move out and while i’d have a couple of friends in my new city, it would still be a complete change of environment. but idk at the time i really thought that’s what i wanted and while i don’t regret the decision, I think my reasons behind the decision have changed a little.

but once that big decision was over with, i left in february for one of the most incredible trips of my life. i honestly can’t put into words how incredible the whole experience was for me both mentally and emotionally. i got to visit friends i had made in europe, and they welcomed me into their homes with open arms and i just felt so happy while i was with them. and it just made me realize how important they are in my life and how it was definitely fate that made us meet. my belief in fate was proven again and again throughout my whole trip. I met so many awesome new people as well, and i think i learned so much on the trip. i learned to not take everything so seriously, to genuinely live in the moment and go with the flow which is something i’ve never been able to do before. i learned to laugh at myself which is something i’m so grateful for, and i learned that no matter the outcome, it’s honestly true that “it’s all about the experience” and i think that saying is something that’s carried on with me throughout the year. i connected with someone on the trip on some deep and physical level that i genuinely never thought i would ever experience. and it was so, so nice regardless of the fact that it hurt so much to say goodbye. but i think that’s how i know that it’s not something i overthought or imagined, because it wasn’t just my mind that was sad over it ending, but i physically felt it hurt. and it sucked to feel that way but it was great to know i was even capable of feeling that way, and i now know what to look for in the future. overall it was just such an amazing trip, literally the happiest and most carefree i think i’ve ever been. and on my worst days, it’s an incredible gift to look back on because not only did i learn incredible things, but i met wonderful people and saw some of the most beautiful places in the world. and i’m so proud of myself for saving up for the trip and for going on the journey by myself. i didn’t fuck it up.

then coming home was difficult, but i remained optimistic about life. I got a job working with one of my closest friends and made another great friend out of it. some days sucked to work but when we had the right squad working I dare say it was actually fun. and yeah I met an incredible person working there who made my summer one of the best ones i’ve ever had. he showed me how relationships should be easy and you shouldn’t think twice about seeing each other. I was always looking forward to hanging out with him because we always got out and did something fun. it was a great experience and he was such a great guy but with school started and me moving out it just wasn’t the right time for anything to really happen. and now he’s moved on with a really nice girl and i’m genuinely really happy for him. and while i don’t think we’ll be friends for a while, maybe some day down the road. we kinda tied up loose ends last night but i don’t really remember much of what was said to be honest and i doubt he does either, and maybe that’s for the best and if we’re meant to be friends somewhere down the line then that’s great, but i don’t think it will be anytime soon.

and next up from the summer was school actually starting, my first semester of uni and moving out and living on my own. while i was actually really ok with living on my own, i did really miss home. because home has never really been a place i’ve never wanted to be. my mom is my best friend and i need her support as well as my dad’s and even my brother’s. i need my dogs to cuddle with and my bed and room to relax in. and i think i realized halfway through the semester that home doesn’t have to be a place i distance myself from, bc that was my mentality at the beginning of the semester. but i realized there’s no reason for me to distance myself, bc this place will always be such an important factor in my life and i know no matter how bad things get, i can always, always come home. 

and school man, ahhh school. this semester really dragged me through the mud, but it was also such a wake up call. i think i needed it to be difficult and to suck for me to finally begin to get over this stupid fucking notion that my self worth is dependent upon my grades. i don’t want either of those things to be related to one another. and this semester was just so difficult dealing with credits/co-op/international exchange/french immersion/is this what i want to be doing with my life. i realized group projects are basically a death sentence and that there’s a lot about uni you can’t really control. but i’m lucky enough to be in a position where i don’t necessarily need to keep certain grades and that really i just need to try my best. which is something i will always continue to do. i’ve given up aiming for a certain mark or caring about the mark i receive because regardless i know to myself that i’ve given everything i could and whatever mark will be, will be. and whether i pass or fail, i will still be ok. i will still have friends and an incredible family to support me no matter what as long as i tried. and boy has that been a process, a complete mental shift but i’m happy i’m working towards that because school just makes me so miserable and this semester i don’t want school to have that grip on me anymore. i’m ready for my second semester and i’m ready to stay on top of things from the beginning, to make studying for midterms and finals easier. and i’m also ready to have a fucking social life for once. like i want to do well in uni, but i also don’t want to go back to my miserable mental state. i literally went from being the happiest i’ve ever been in my life to being the second most miserable in my life. and it just sucked so much bc it was such a contrast and just knowing i was once so happy and now i wasn’t made it more difficult. but i need to find a balance between social and school and if my marks are slightly affected, then so be it. i just want to get back to being as happy as i was while i was travelling or even when i got back. and i know with time i can get there if i don’t let this negativity take over me.

and then the last thing i want to reflect on is just how motherfucking lucky i am to be surrounded by the people that i am. for starters with my family who have just been the biggest support for me throughout this hellish semester. like my mom was going through such a shitty year herself but she was always there for me no matter what. and i think just knowing they’re proud of me and believe in me and truly just want me to get through it but also to take a break if i need to means the world to me. like i know i’m so lucky to be in my situation because most don’t get the chance to go at a pace they want, but my parents don’t mind as long as i keep working hard and still make time for myself and to have fun. and i wouldn’t have made it through the semester without my friends to go grocery shopping with, or grab a coffee for a break, or come back home to visit or just rant to online. i’m so lucky to have the friends that i do. and last night showed me that too when my two best friends trekked through the cold with no jackets on just to see if i was ok and then told me all this wonderful stuff about myself and it just made me cry. like when i think about my friends and family it just makes me want to cry at how fucking blessed and lucky i am to be surrounded by such incredible people. 

no matter how shitty this year got, there was always one constant, and that was love.

i’ve never felt so loved in my life and that’s what i plan to carry with me into 2017. that i am loved, that i will always have that love and support, that it’s ok not to be perfect all the time, it’s not the end of the world, and that it truly is all about the experience. and i don’t want my experience in 2017 to be a miserable one. so i’m gonna make it as positive and fun as i possibly can because it’s better than any of the alternatives.