#and everytime it flares up it leaves me drained and irritable the rest of the day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roaringheat · 5 years

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I hate that my anger makes me so destructive and temperamental. I know part of it isnt my fault its just a really shitty card ive been dealt but god everytime i get angry i swear it feels like theres fire just barely being contained underneath my skin

#acro posts #i know this sound like rEAL edgy #but this is an issue ive been dealing with for so damn long and its really sucks #its like the only thing thatll stop that anger in the moment is to absolutely destroy something near me or to hit the person im mad at #and it sucks!! i hate that feeling!! its so sudden and unbearable to the point where sitting still feels impossible #more often that not im forced to just pace around til it eventually wears off to keep myself from doing any damage #cause i know anything i do in the heat of the moment in everyday anger situations ill regret #but i really dont think thats helping me out in the long run #like yea it stops me from erupting and doing something stupid then and there but cause i wasnt able to get it out it just gets stuck there #and i just have so much of that awful blazing anger stuck in me from years of this bullshit #and everytime it flares up it leaves me drained and irritable the rest of the day #i really gotta get a physical outlet of some kind like going to the gym or something #cause if i cant get the emotional part of this down i can at least fuckin try to get rid of that shitty impulsive destructiveness #i see my therapist in about two weeks so ill probably mention it to her then #god that just feels so fucking far away when im angry right now #like yea in 2 weeks i can start getting professional help but what am i gonna do about it right now??#i was hoping typing all this down would calm me down and i guess it did a little bit but it still feels like i need to throw something

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