#and even wrote an essay on Foundation in 8th grade

[fatalism-and-villainy]

top 5... kinks? (alternatively, top 5 scifi works of media?)

I think I’ll do the second one, because I don’t feel super comfortable answering the first one publicly, and because I’m not even sure how I would answer it even if I were (What Is A Kink and how sexual-adjacent does it have to be and what differentiates it from just Stuff You’re Into, etc. etc.)

So, sci-fi.

1. Next generation era Star Trek (TNG, DS9, and VOY), because try as I might I just can’t get into TOS. I have trouble feeling at home in a lot of sci-fi settings, but this particular era and look for Star Trek always feels right to me, perhaps because I grew up with it TNG and Voyager. Regardless of the quality of the writing or how well the social messages actually land (wildly variable, especially on Voyager), emotionally I have good associations.  

2. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (Philip K. Dick) and Blade Runner - these two kind of coexist in my head, and my ideal version is kind of a mingling of the two that keeps the atmosphere and lack of Dickian religious weirdness of the film but also the more complex characterizations of the novel. (I’m still disappointed that Roy Batty’s backstory, including his messianic self-conception, and the bit about him justifying his revolution through “the sanctity of android life”, wasn’t included, and that Rachael was diluted so much.) I have decidedly mixed feelings about many of Dick’s other works (ESPECIALLY his treatment of female characters), and we don’t talk about Blade Runner 2049, but this story in itself actually made me care about robots, which is quite the feat. Apparently it takes a violent radical extremist to do that, who knew. 

3. The Left Hand of Darkness (Ursula K. LeGuin) - this one stood out to me when I read it because it subverted a lot of standard sci-fi tropes that bothered me, and actually used its protagonist’s misogyny as a starting point for commentary about gendered expectations, as opposed to it just being The Standard. The politicking wasn’t terribly interesting to me (and was a bit of a heavy-handed Cold War allegory, something LeGuin seems to do a lot of), but the vast remote atmosphere of the ice world and its mythology was deeply compelling. 

4.  Pacific Rim - deliberately excluding the sequel, which was a soulless money grab (apart from John Boyega, who was wonderful) - this really stood out to me because of the prioritization of human connection, in a way that felt very genuine. A lot of sci fi universes feel very cold and untouchable to me, but this film had a lot of human warmth. 

5. Imperial Radch (Ann Leckie) - This one appealed to my need for charming ensemble casts and compelling central relationships, despite many of the more fascinating worldbuilding questions going unanswered in the name of Plot. (Plot is overrated, right?) Anaander Mianaai backstory prequel, pls. 

Honourary mention to the original Twilight Zone, which I haven’t watched since I was a kid so I don’t have an up-to-date opinion on, but Rod Serling had such a mind for pacing and tension and what kind of gimmicks and plot twists actually work (something a lot of his imitators can’t quite grasp).  

[genderassignment]

Purple Passions & Proclivities

Gender Assignment Guest Blogger, Felicia Holman

Dedicated to the memories of Betty Holman & Prince Rogers Nelson (and to the future of Kendyl Holman)

“Sex isn’t all I think about, it’s all I think about U.”--’Shhh (Break It Down)’, Prince Rogers Nelson

An Origin Story

First, big thanks to Melissa Potter for inviting me to be a guest blogger for Gender Assignment. I am writing this essay (my first of four) on April 21, 2018---the second anniversary of the sudden death of my artistic and sexual muse, Prince Rogers Nelson. Today, I’m simultaneously elated and bereft; elated to be writing, bereft of both my Purple dearly beloved and the person who got me into him in the first place: My mother, Betty.

My mother, Betty / She was seeing me off on my first international flight...to Jamaica. This was '96 so she was actually with me at the boarding gate, even though I was traveling solo!

This month also marks the 10th anniversary of my mother's memorial service. As a single Black mother raising and homeschooling 2 kids on Chicago's Southside in the 1980’s, Mom was pretty unconventional. She was a working-class artist/ public intellectual/ entrepreneur/ urban gardener/ Columbia College film student/ championship-winning boys’ Little League coach/ etc... I’ll never forget how she championed my auditioning for the male lead in my 8th grade play because the female lead was too wispy (though I was ultimately cast as the female lead). Though strictly heteronormative in her own gender and sexual expression, Mom was sex-positive. She was my primary sex ed teacher and feminine wiles coach. *For Christmas during my freshman year in high school, Mom bought me my first lacy lingerie set; explaining “this is the type of underwear a young lady buys.”* Mom was a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and as a result, devoutly nurtured her only daughter's sexual agency and empowerment. One of her no-nonsense metaphor resonates to this day: “You don't need anyone else to scratch your own itch!” *Which I knew to be true, ever since I’d learned how to covertly rub one out on the edge of my chair in Kindergarten.*

Erotic City, Come Alive

In a two-fold effort to break me out of my bubble gum “Michael Jackson phase” & put me on to something more subversive and avant-garde, Mom formally introduced me to Prince when she brought home the 12” 1999 double album and explained to me that Prince played all the instruments. However, it was actually the combination of seeing the Little Red Corvette video and then learning that he and I share the same birthday that cemented him as #foreverinmylife...Whereas Prince was contraband in the homes of most of my Gen X peers, those of us with “cool" parents /guardians were exposed to the crucially impactful carnal knowledge of His Purple Majesty during our tweens. *I’ve often described Prince’s cultural impact & influence as a result of his artistry grabbing us by the root and crown chakras (as his lyrics on ‘Sexuality’ clearly illustrate)!* “Little Girl Heat" (LGH) is a term I coined a few years ago during a generative rehearsal with Honey Pot Performance. I find LGH succinctly / viscerally encapsulates the phenomenon of tingling sensations and rise in core temperature I’d feel while listening to Automatic, Let’s Pretend We’re Married, Lady Cab Driver, etc. To this day, I still experience LGH when I’m overcome with desire...trust & BELIEVE!

Here & Now

As a grown-ass-woman-for-real, I am both looking back and ahead at my sexcapades. Sex has always been a ‘Quality (v. Quantity) of Life’ issue for me, but even more so for me in recent years...more on that in future posts. The candid memoirs of living legends Diahann Carroll, Grace Jones and Jenifer Lewis line my shelves as both salve and motivation. *Can’t WAIT for fellow Gen X-er Tracee Ellis Ross to grace us with hers!* Though I’m not a mom, I am a doting auntie who is determined to give my 8 y.o. niece (Kendyl) the gifts of real talk and agency that her paternal grandmother gave to me. Conversations with my niece have recently begun to include her questions about puberty as well as my ‘leading’ questions to find out what she does/doesn't already know. I find that sex ed resources tailor-made for little Black girls are still few and far between in this post-Obama 21st century, so my anecdotes and advice will be some of her primary resources. She knows that Prince is my favorite musician/entertainer/artist and that I wear a tribute button everyday since he passed. But I haven't formally introduced her to Prince music yet. I think his 2006 Golden Globe award-winning Song of the Heart (from the animated film ‘Happy Feet’) will be our entry point...it’s still years before her time.

*Bonus: If you haven't already, check out the just-released tribute video for Prince's original recording of ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’...#lghonfleek

Bio: Lifelong Chicagoan, artist and Prince fan Felicia Holman is a co-founder of both the Art Leaders of Color Network ('ALCN') and Honey Pot Performance (‘HPP’). She is also Communication Director at Chicago's venerable Links Hall. Felicia creates, presents and supports original interdisciplinary performance which engages audience and inspires community. In May 2017, Felicia traveled to Manchester England and proudly presented on Prince and Blackness at the first Purple Reign Interdisciplinary Conference "on the life and legacy of Prince Rogers Nelson" (co-produced by the University of Salford and Middle Tennessee State University). In June, Felicia co-produced the ALCN's monthlong P.O.W.E.R Project at Logan Square's Comfort Station. November 2017 saw Felicia's groups thrive: HPP's debut artist book 'Ma(s)king Her' was published by Candor Arts, Links Hall went to Japan for the Kyoto Experiment Performance Festival and the ALCN received a 2018 Joyce Foundation grant to "develop membership and programming capacity". In December 2017, Felicia presented her first commissioned solo performance ("Wassup w/That YAC?!" @ MCA Chicago) and starred in 'Hair Story' -- OpenTV's latest pilot, which Felicia also co-wrote (premiering Spring 2018). Felicia relishes her dynamic artrepreneurial life and sums it up in 3 words—'Creator, Connector, Conduit'.

[thea-travels]

Recap-volunteering in dang

So did a really poor job of staying up to date many times this past year but I am determined now to finish the year so I am going to write a recap of the time I had in Dang nepal at Gurukul school. I left the day after I arrived at 6 in the morning to head to the bus station and got a bus which stupidly was technically the third class bus. I was told i shouldn't arrive later than 7pm so I got on and went on a long adventure at one point the road split either straight north or theee hours west before heading north and the faster way two people had died on the night before so we went the other way which added some time on the the journey which originally should have been around 10-12 hours and was 17.. so that was a real adventure but it was exactly that an adventure and an experience. And the guy sitting next to me was super helpful and I've we finally arrived in dang they brought me all the way to the street the school was on where I was received by Teeka the schon Principal. It was already 1am and so they just showed me my room and I went to bed. The first 6 days I was there were vacation for the school because of local elections. One day Teeka took me to a local temple and holy spot where they sacrifice goats and sheep and also a local place to bring your family and have a picnic with a dirty lake where the kids play. He drove me there on his motorbike slowly and carefully but it was fun. I was also invited to join four of the founders of the school who were there for the vacation(two of them because dang is their home district and they were also there to vote) to go to swagadori one of the most holy places for Hindu people. For them basically what heaven is for christians. It was a real adventure three hours with the car up and down windy mountain roads with four adult men who acted like little boys going to the candy store. Once we got to the bottom of the mountain we had to get into a different car a four wheel drive to drive another hour up a small, dusty, bumpy and rocky path up the mountain. Once we got to the top there was another 20 min walking up this large stairs and by the time we got there it was dark with the most beautiful view of the stars I've seen in a long time definitely best in Asia. We got up to the top which was a temple with a stable for lots of cows a building with housing and a cafeteria type room. There was a school on the top for children of all ages to become yogis and we had dinner and settled into our room which was just a bunch of beds and thick blankets I got a whole row of beds to myself and the guys slept across from me. The next morning we got up very early and they went from temple to temple each for a different god and I was allowed to watch and take pictures. Everyone stared at me with such bewilderment understandably because I think very very few foreigners get to go to this temple. Aanant, one of the guys, told me they think probably what is this creature from what world did I come from. Really fascinating. And after the adventure to the temple we went to a city where one of the other guys came from where some of his relatives were running in the election so he went to wish them good luck and such. So that was a nice little adventure out of the campus. Which is extremely nice. Clearly a privat school with a lot of money but they are trying to be the best school in all of dang and that shows. There's three school buildings, a Montessori kindergarten, elementary 1st-5th grade and a jr high building 6th-8th as well as a cafeteria building, boarding school building and another building with a chemistry lab and music room and the best of all a swimming pool! So the days before school started I spent a lot in my hammock and hanging out with the 14 kids who live in the boarding school. We also started to create a theater show which was a really fun and stressful process because they are all very energized and not so good listeners but it still turned out pretty awesomely. Than school started and I had a little bit more of a schedule. Mornings after assembly, which was different every morning sometimes dancing, karate, yoga or swimming, I would go to one of the kindergarten classes either pre 1 a or b or pre 2 so 4/5 year olds or 6 year olds and sang songs or did origami. They were so adorable. Everything in the school is taught in English except their Nepali class so they could all speak minimal English and it was so cute to interact with them. They all wanted to sit closest to me in the circle and tell me about it show me all sorts of things. Very cute. Than I ate lunch and after lunch had a English class with 7th graders and than with 6th graders. I did the same thing in both classes and at the beginning was asked for a teaching plan of what I was going to do which I did and when I finished it the coordinator who asked me to do it was so shocked and said oh you could just follow the teacher that was a bit frustrating but because I had a detailed plan I also followed it. Teaching things like vowel and consonant sounds, how to write a paragraph or essay, reading stories, how to write a script etc. in the end I only had 8 days where I was actually teaching because at the end they started exams, all students in Nepal had them at the same time every day a different subject so that was kind of unfortunate. The first day with the 6th graders I got cornered and asked by every single one of them for an autograph on their arm or hand or journal it was pretty crazy and funny. But than after the English classes I had some free time where I usually took a nap and went to watch and play with the really little ones in foundations/play group so ages 2-4 really cuties they also got let out at 3:30 so I would watch as they all waddled away with their oversized backpacks and waved good bye or all huddled under one big umbrella when it rained. Really adorable. Than there was snack which was always delicious and after school I would either immediately have rehearsal with the kids or wait until they finished their homework or play a bit before rehearsing. That was basically my time there. There were two Spanish girls who came for 5 days they were scouts and it was one of their final projects before becoming a scout leader and than her supervisor. One evening I was invited to Depti one of the lovely kindergarten teachers home. First we went to a different local temple and than to her home. That was a really awesome experience her family was so incredibly kind and even without English we were able to communicate and have a good time together. It was super interesting seeing how the locals really live and walking around everyone asked who I was and what I was doing and I said the couple words in Nepali that I know. It was really lovely. Also incredible to think she walks an hour to and from school everyday to teach. Another fun thing I did was help one of the teachers with his music video for a song he wrote and produced in his music video really silly but lots of fun and I'm excited for the end result. It's a quitchy love song and a lot of slow motion of me running or twirling or being serenaded haha it was really funny to me but super serious for him and I support it!! Also funny how at the beginning of filming we had like 5 or 6 kids watching and by the end like 30 minutes later there were at least 25/30 people watching the kids got their grandparents and parents and little siblings and neighbors and we had a huge fan base haha. I really enjoyed my time at gurukul it was entirely different than all the other times mainly because the only other white people I met in the three weeks I was there were these Spanish girls otherwise only locals and they were so incredibly kind and giving and loving it was so nice!! And the food from the cafeteria was so yummy I definitely got a little sick or rice but once I left I missed it. All in all a really incredible time.