#and don't get me wrong I'm aware of the reverse phenomenon where having experienced pain is used to legitimize your beliefs | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

good-to-drive · 3 months ago

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It would be insane if we weaponized mommy issues against men the way we weaponize daddy issues against women. Any time a man criticizes a woman we go “awww poor little baby boy didn't have a mommy who loved him” and all of his beliefs become embarrassing and he has to exit in shame. Like. Don’t fucking do that, but it would be absolutely insane if people did that.

#the thing is 'you have experienced pain' probably shouldn't be as effective as it is at shutting down a conversation #and don't get me wrong I'm aware of the reverse phenomenon where having experienced pain is used to legitimize your beliefs #but that's just the other side of the coin right?#treating pain as transformative in a way that either devalues you or legitimizes you #both of which are narrowminded ways to look at it #also I meant this as a joke but that literally is exactly how people talk about paul mccartney #only I don't think they know they're being condescending and denying him agency and maturity and the chance to be heard or valued #and I do think that's a very niche example I don't think that's a widespread thing with dudes like crying 'daddy issues' is with girls #pro tip: if you replace 'poor little baby' with the person's actual name you become 70% less condescending #op

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