#and do all that shit. I mean look at Kisuke Urahara he tried and he got kicked out of the Seireitei. Because he's a no good hack.

[unohanadaydreams]

I find it amusing Mayuri is the only captain we've seen in the shower, considering he probably wears the most clothes and it turns out he's absolutely smoking hot. Kubo is a TEASE.

I mean, he's the only captain where that's what it takes for the audience to see him that way (we can probably disregard Byakuya's bath reveal in TYBW lmao). There is no battle or place of comfort where we see Mayuri stripped of his frippery. If Kubo didn't show him in a position where he physically can't wear make up, we never would've seen his face!

It took Mayuri at an extremely private moment where he's bathing for him to drop the act because he is forced to. And as the audience we are privy to a scant moment. That never happens again. Ever. At all. In the whole of canon!!! Even when Kubo's done a human world fit for Mayuri, he is still keeping it clown.

But I agree, it's amusing. Top 5 things Mayuri would burn down the world for seeing, for sure.

[uraharasandals]

A normal slice-of-life small fic for your enjoyment. Featuring the 12th Division, one very underpaid Akon, and one very I-did-not-sign-up-for-this Hisagi Shuuhei. Mentions of Urahara Kisuke, of course, because I love that man. 

(Feat. a rare occasion where Akon is actually shocked by his Captain. A rarity, indeed.)

“What in the nine realms of the Soul King’s palace is the meaning of this?!” A very familiar screech comes from within the lab, and Shuuhei tries his best not to crane his neck to take a peek - because that’s rude and not something he does, but it’s very tempting. He nearly does, his resolve crumbling in favour of his curiousity, but just then, Akon speaks.

“I’m very sorry about that.” Despite the clear distress Captain Kurotsuchi is displaying, the man in front of him seems completely unfazed, as if this is something he encounters every day. Maybe he does. After all, who knows what goes on in the bowels of the 12th Division? “The Captain isn’t feeling very well at the moment.”

“...Yes, I can see that.” A bead of sweat rolls down Shuuhei’s forehead. He tries not to wipe it away. 

“Now, Lieutenant Hisagi, what do you need me for?” 

“Ah yes, apologies. It’s about the latest edition of Seireitei Communications...” As the regular spew about his beloved magazine comes rolling off his tongue naturally, Shuuhei allows his mind to wander briefly as to what could make Captain Kurotsuchi so unsettled. His curiousity is furthered when a few members of the SDRI start sending worried glances at the back office, where surely the man himself is holed up in. “ - so if there’s anything the 12th Division would like to include - “

“Just the usual is fine,” Akon cuts through. It’s not rude, exactly, but Shuuhei could tell the man is getting a little impatient. 

“...Ah.” By ‘the usual’, he means the advertisements for...volunteers (he decides to not think for what, exactly) that the 12th are looking for. A paid volunteer experience. “Nothing else? Maybe a Division special? From certain members?” 

The 3rd seat smiles ruefully, knowing what he’s getting at. Akon’s hand shifts in his pocket, closing around a familiar squared-box shape. “I appreciate it, Lieutenant Hisagi. But I don’t think Captain Kurotsuchi would.” 

“It’s not like an interview would further tarnish the Division’s reputation, or anything,” He ventures. Shuuhei tries not to let the rest of the sentence appear. Because you lot are as batshit crazy as the rumours make you out to be already. 

“NEMU! Come here!!” The lieutenant winces slightly, but Akon remains undisturbed. “No, I don’t think we would. Thanks for the offer.” And that’s the end of it, clearly, because he starts to send glances at the back as well. Shuuhei knows it’s a farce - he’s not worried about his Captain at all, he just wants to get away. He decides to take the hint.

“In that case, I’ll leave you alone.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. Thanks.” 

/

“Captain?” Akon knocks on the door, and enters without waiting for the reply. A dangerous game to play, all things considered, but he knows to duck when it swings inwards, to avoid the book Kurotsuchi had aimed at his head. There’s a muffled yelp behind him, but as long as no test tubes are broken, it’s something he can deal with after. He shuts the door just as something else comes flying - it shatters against the door, and he doesn’t want to know what it was. “What’s wrong?” 

“That man - that damned Urahara Kisuke!” Mayuri had his fists clenched on top of his workbench, veins bulging from his forehead. Akon gives an internal sigh. Really, Urahara-san, you know better than to provoke him like this...

“What is it this time, sir?” 

“He thinks he’s so smart, sending shit like this,” He seethes, and Akon ventures closer. There’s a box open, with the wrapping discarded on the side like used tissue paper, and inside is...a phone? “As if the technology in Soul Society hasn’t already far surpassed that of the human world! What utter rubbish!”

The 3rd seat exhales, and sends a glance at Nemu, who’s standing patiently by his side. “How did this even get into Soul Society, sir?”

“Through that lieutenant of the 13th, Kuchiki, of course. Who else has the time to be running errands for him between the Human World and Seireitei?” Fair enough. Akon scratches his head absent-mindedly, and crosses his arms. “I’ve had Nemu analysed this, but I can’t seem to find any hidden traps. Which makes it worse, of course, because it’s the perfect place to put a bomb!” 

“Y’know, sir, this could’ve just been a parcel. A rather meaningless one, yes, but a harmless one at the end.” 

“Mayuri-sama thinks it contains a bomb,” Nemu offers, not-so-helpfully. “I’ll run it through some tests afterwards to confirm this, if you’d like.”

Before he could reply, however, a loud squawk pierces the air. Grunting angrily, Mayuri whirls around, immediately identifying the sound - it’s from a baby chick that the SDRI members tried making, constructing a living organism from nothing. A little like the Nemuri project, but Mayuri wasn’t known for being a genius for nothing - the bird is slightly deformed, and honestly, it’s a miracle it even walks. Making another angry noise, the captain smashes it with a fist without hesitation. I told them not to put it in the captain’s office...

“I don’t have time for this! Nemu, discard of the gag gift however you see fit - burn it, or put it back onto Kuchiki’s desk if you’d like. Maybe include a bomb - it’ll show her not to follow that man’s orders.”

“Yes, sir.”

/

Bonus: 

“Ah, hello, Akon-san! So, how did Kurotsuchi-san react?”

Akon sighs, exhaling the smoke from his deeply-needed cigarette. “Urahara-san, you knew how he would react. Why did you even send it?”

“It’s his birthday, I was just being thoughtful! So?”

"He thought it was a bomb, and told the lieutenant to burn it.”

“What a pity. Did he not even try to open it? I included a birthday song inside! And some other interesting stuff!”

“...If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought you had a death wish, sir.” 

[snowflakeanimelover]

Reader pretending to have a date, to see if urahara is interested in her, since she's been in love with him for a while.😍😍😍thanks

Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry! I found this in my draft and I thought I already posted it! 😖sorry!

“You’re going on a date to ditch work?!” The red head kid smacks me with his broom.

I grab the broom before he could hit me again, almost breaking it. “Like you do any work!” I yell at him, making him step back a little. He always did underestimate me. “Just let Kisuke know, alright? So he doesn’t….ask where I am or something…” I mumble. Really, I don’t think he would care…

Jinta yells out that’s it’s ‘unfair for me to leave while he’s working’ as I walk away from the shop. “Where should I go now…?” I say to myself.

————

The next couple of days, I sit with the others for breakfast. My mind racing on what to do next. Should I say I’m going on another date? Or just ask him directly if he likes me? No, I can’t do that… I look over to Kisuke who had his usual smile on his face as he ate breakfast. I look away quickly, blushing as I think about how handsome he is.

My nervousness must’ve been very obvious, as a voice brings me back to the others. “(Y/N). How was your date?” Kisuke asks casually.

I look over at him, puzzled. “My…date…?” I ask him.

“Yeah. You know, that one a couple days ago?”

He’s asking how it went now?! Anger boils over, my fist clenched. “Why are you asking that now of all times?” I try to say calmly.

He looked confused. “What do you mean? You looked upset, so I figured it was that date.”

I instantly calm down. My face relaxing. “Oh.”

Oh.

He was only asking because I looked mad….

“Um….no. Actually, we’re going on another date….” I ramble. Oh god, what am I doing to myself?

“Oh? When?!” He asks excitedly, getting closer to me.

I sweat drop. Trying to think of what to do, since this is all really a lie. “Uh….tonight! I better start getting ready!” I say, getting up to my room.

————

I slide the shop door open with a sigh, the chilly fresh air hitting my warm cheeks. Before I could close the door behind me, though, a hand stops it.

Kisuke opens it enough to peek his head through. “Hey there! Heading to your date?” He asks.

I jump at his sudden appearance. “Kisuke?! What are you doing?”

He chuckles, stepping outside and closing the door behind him. “Well, since you seem to like this guy, I figured I’d go and meet him myself!”

What.

“What?! No!” I blurt out.

He turns to me, confusion in his face. “Hm? Why not?”

Shit. “U-um… well… you see….” My brain tries to wrap up information that I could use to keep him away. What if he found out I was lying? “I haven’t told him about you! ….yet! So, I wouldn’t want him to think that we were together or something….”

I’m so hopeless….

“Nonsense!” He chuckles, walking away from the shop. “I’ll just tell him we aren’t together!” I slump my shoulders, slowly following him. What should I do now?

————

“So, where’s this date of yours?” He asks.

“Oh, um… somewhere up here….” I say meekly.

“Right….that’s what you said a few minutes ago.” He chuckles again.

God, I can’t get over his laugh.

“I-I did…?”

Kisuke suddenly stops, making me stop as well. “(Y/N). There really isn’t a date, now is there?” He smiles.

I freeze. What am I supposed to say? Is he going to hate me? Think I’m weird?

“I like you, (Y/N)”

“Look, I’m sorry. Your right, there really isn’t a date…! I was just…-“ I started to ramble on. “Wait, what did you say?”

He puts his fan away, a genuine smile spreading on his face. “I said, I like you.”

“You…you do…?” A blush spreads on my face. What is happening…? “For how long…?”

“For a while now.”

“What?! Then why did you let me go on these dates?!” I was angry now. Why didn’t he just tell me?

“What dates?” He asks so innocently.

I stop, avoiding eye contact. “Right…. But, why didn’t you say anything…?”

“Because it was fun watching you struggle!” He cheers.

I wanted to smack him so hard in the face. “I hate you…” I fold my arms, about ready to walk back to the shop.

“Now, now.” He says, gently grabbing my arm. “I thought you said you were going on a date?” His smile was wicked.

“Kisuke, I don’t have one. It was all a lie.”

“Really? Then I guess I’ll be your date.” He pulls me, heading to a restaurant that was nearby.

Really, this man was so crazy. Why did I like him in the first place?

That was my thought, but looking at his carefree smile….I see why I love him.

[theunderneath]

Kisuke Urahara headcanons ? please

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! I don’t think you understand how happy that made me! HA! I fucking love Kisuke Urahara, he's my favorite (It shows send it more ask for him please).

“Why is such a fine snack like you walking all alone?”

Kisuke Urahara meets his darling by pure coincidence, it's just a small moment in their life but it means so much to him. He'd be sitting outside his shop, maybe eating some fruit in his normal Shinigami from without his artificial body. He really was just out there enjoying his time but when he saw a random person walk by the street where his shop was. He couldn't help but stare, just watching them walk around and look around like they were lost. He just stared until he seemingly caught their eye. The two would stare at each other for just a moment before his darling looked away and continued walking. That is all it would take for his obsession to start.

After a few minutes of sitting there just thinking about what just happened. He starts to play it back again in his head. How did they see him? Did they see him? Were they supernatural? Who were they? Why were they out so late? Before he realizes it he’s following after them. He watches as they enter their home, blissfully unaware of being watched. He makes sure to remember their address as he walks back home feeling strangely lonely.

He'll come back again and again. He just wants to see if they will look at him one more time. Maybe even bringing things that he thinks they might like. Soon his darling will start noticing candies they've never tried before appearing in their snacks, or flowers in the empty vase on the table. Its small things they could probably dismiss by just saying they have a bad memory. Sadly the things going missing can't be excused so easily.

Urahara likes to take things that remind him of them. An oversized shirt they won't miss, an almost empty body spray bottle, or even their underwear if he's feeling particularly naughty. He always either returns the item or replaces it with something he likes. Kisuke really likes replacing their body spray with something he wears so they smell like him. He also has this bad habit of just talking to them when they can't see him, saying a bunch of weird shit.

Overall he's a very chill yandere that will probably not kidnap his darling. As a Shinigami, he has a lot of time to seduce his darling through persistence and no other option. He gets rid of competition and presents himself as a pretty cool nice guy, plus he owns his own shop. He still keeps his teasing trait, but there is always a tension under it. His obsession, his need, his wants. It's all over how he acts.

He might also place a tracker (self-made) inside his darling body with his Bankai. He'd have Kannon Biraki Benehime Aratame hovering over him as they took apart his darling's body. His darling is so drugged they don't feel anything and it's all very professional feeling. Still, he can't help but know his spiritual energy is leaking possessiveness and obsessiveness with each cut. Only he can take them apart and put them back together so easily. Still, a tracker will be embedded in their bone and they'll be none the wiser.

I don’t think he would kidnap them necessarily but there's still a very low chance, and only a few things that would cause it. It would happen if his darling looked at him again, if they reacted when he called their name or talked to them, and if he thought about the day they'd leave the mortal world. He’s a Shinigami, a giver of death. He’ll outlive them, they’ll die and go to the Soul Society. Where he can’t go. If he thinks about that long enough he’ll grab them and take them to his shop. Where he would do everything to keep them by his side happy and content.

After kidnapping or if they accept his affection, he'll move them into the shop. The only difference is that one way they get to sleep in his room in the actual shop, or in a replica of their house in the training ground basement he has so they can't run. Still, they will have a calm home life with whatever he can provide. Any snack they like in his shop will be theirs, any little games he finds he'll play with them, and they have a TV! He doesn't even allow his kids to have that haha... Honestly, he didn't really think about how he'd treat them once he kidnapped them.

In a relationship he's different, he isn't as stiff. He has a laid-back attitude but don't be mistaken, he still can get possessive/jealous. He'll gently grab his darling by the hips and pull them into him in a backward hug if they're giving their attention to someone else for too long. He can also just lay himself over them or lean into them to show his affection. That is a little hard though, since he'll do that when he's bored too. So it's hard to tell.

Urahara also isn't the punishment type, he prefers more subtle loving manipulation over brute force. Sadly he will push their soul from their body, knowing the experience is scary to the average folk, to show them how defenseless they can be. He hopes it will lead them to believe he's the only one who can help them with the strange experience. He also likes how he can mess with their body without them being able to do anything, while also knowing they still feel it. So he might rub, squeeze, cuddle, or even kiss them on the cheek and pretend he can't hear them.

His rewards can range from sweets he gets from his shop, privileges he didn't let them have before, a nice date, or tongue fucking them lol. His oral skills are top tier and he loves lazily fingering and licking his Darling until they start cumming non stop. This is a reward, after all, so he should make sure to pleasure them until they are completely and utterly satisfied. He says this isn't about him, but he can't hide how his hips are rutting against the futon for some stimulation he won't allow himself to have.

The future he envisions with his darling is one where his shop is thriving and they're by his side happy and content. He needs nothing more than this calm lazy life with his shop, research, and lover. He isn't opposed to having children since he has Jinta and Ururu but he also knows that's mostly up to his darling. He also isn't opposed to marriage either, although it's something he'd prefer to be traditional and private.

Some closing notes, he also uses all the strange spiritual stuff in his shop to his advantage. When he pushes their soul out of their body, he might shove a mod soul in there and go about his day, leaving them confused about what's happening until they come to him for help. He also uses his supernatural strength to his advantage as well, restaining them easily if they are having a fit. He'd just coo at them while they strike him like it's doing anything.

[m3kuroshirt]

House of Assassins

GrimmIchi Weekend Challenge #4

Words Count: 1738

Challenged by @backwardshirt

Warnings: None

Genre/trope: Found Family

Required words: neighbour, killer

Ichigo lives with his found family of assassins, and they're getting some new neighbours.

This will be part of a series :D

“Ichigo!” The voice came to him through the murky shadows of sleep. Ichigo shifted, heavy eyelids fluttering. “Ichigo! WAKE UP!” The scream jolted him fully awake and Ichigo barely had time to dodge whatever was flying toward him. He threw himself to the side and thudded to the floor. A shadow flew over him and his bed and hit the wall with a thunk! A groan came from the other side of the bed. Ichigo rubbed the side he landed on and raised himself up, peering over the bed. There he saw…a Renji, splayed out on the floor, red hair broken loose from its usual ponytail.

“What the hell, Renji? You could have knocked,” Ichigo grumbled. His friend grunted and heaved himself up from the floor, turning to face him.

“I did.” He rubbed his head with a frown. “And then Rukia said the food she made is getting cold. So I decided to use desperate measures.”

Ichigo gave him a deadpan stare. “Knocking didn’t work, so naturally your next step was launching yourself at me?” Renji blinked up at him.

“…yes?”

Ichigo glared at him. Renji shrugged. Ichigo sighed and pushed off from the bed. He turned around and walked to his closet to grab something to wear. As he pulled on his shirt, he glanced over his shoulder. “You gonna give me privacy or…?”

Renji, who had moved himself up to the bed and was laying on it and reading a manga he grabbed off the night table, gave him a cursory glance before returning to his book. “Nope. Your bed is comfy.”

“We have the same kind of mattress. Literally. Bought the same day. What the hell have you done to yours to make it less comfy?!” Ichigo struggled into his tight jeans as he spoke. Renji shrugged.

“Why do you wear such tight pants?” The tone of his voice suggested the question was meant rhetorically and Ichigo glared at him again. Renji smirked.

“Renji! Ichigo! The food is going cold! If you two don’t get down here right now, you’ll miss out!” The words were innocent enough, but the voice that delivered them was laced with barely contained annoyance. The two straightened and exchanged wide eyed glances before rushing to the door and down the stairs.

They were greeted by a stern-faced Rukia, a smiling Orihime munching on pancakes, and a silent Chad putting dishes in the dishwasher. Exchanging greetings with everyone, the two sat down with plates stacked with pancakes and dug in.

“Our new neighbours move in today,” Orihime stated cheerily as she finished the last of her food. She stretched her arms over her head. “So, we have to be on our best behaviour, you know. Kisuke said so.” Ichigo gave a non-committal grunt as he chewed on his food. As if Kisuke knows anything about ‘best behaviour’, he thought.

As if on cue, the door to the basement burst open and Kisuke Urahara struggled up the stairs, carrying a massive box. What was in the box? Ichigo wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He tried to eat faster, but he knew leaving any unfinished food wasn’t an option the way Rukia was watching. With a huff, Kisuke heaved the box and dropped it on the only clear section of the table. “How are my little killer children?” he asked with a grin. Orihime smiled widely.

“Good morning, Kisuke!” she chimed. Chad nodded a greeting before disappearing back upstairs. Ichigo stared at the blond man.

“I thought we were being subtle today?” he questioned. Kisuke waved him off with a smug grin.

“Eh?” Kisuke pretended to peer around with overexaggerated motions. “Why? Are there any new neighbours in here?” Ichigo shot him an annoyed glance but Renji snorted and almost choked on his food, catching the other boy’s attention.

“Renji. If you die laughing at Kisuke making fun of me, I will not be doing CPR to bring you back,” he stated. Renji coughed again, before managing to speak.

“F…Fair,” he gasped out before downing a glass of water. Ichigo turned back to Kisuke.

“Got any jobs today?”

Kisuke shook his head. “Nope. New supplies to test out, though,” he answered brightly as he patted the heavy box. Ichigo stared at the box for a moment, then shared a glance with Rukia, Orihime, and Renji.

“I have cooking lessons with Rukia later!” Orihime declared immediately.

“Going to meet up with Byakuya! We’ll be busy all day,” Renji added.

“I’m practicing hand to hand with Yoruichi today!” Ichigo threw his excuse out hastily. He sent a silent apology to Chad and Uryuu, and from the looks of everyone else’s faces, they were doing the same. Then, as if on a cue, all of them rapidly cleaned up and vacated the kitchen.

When he was finally out of the house, and free of Kisuke, only then did Ichigo allow himself to relax. A gentle autumn breeze tugged his hair and sent a shiver down his spine, so Ichigo turned up the collar of his jacket and shoved his hands in his pocket. He could see the moving truck pulled up to the house next to theirs, and although he was curious, he tried to keep his distance. Unfortunately, Kisuke was too good of friends with Yoruichi for Ichigo to be able to actually lie about practicing with her, so he had accidentally talked himself into a corner and had no choice but to walk past the truck on his way to her place.

That is, until it happened.

As he walked past the truck, a shadow fell over him and a high-pitched voice shouted, “Look out!” Ichigo spun around rapidly and caught the falling object. Which happened to be a man. A man holding a heavy box. Ichigo landed on his ass with an ‘oof!’, a large warm body in his lap, back pressed up against his chest and ear near his mouth.

“Fuck,” was the first thing Ichigo heard, and the voice was low and rough and delicious…No. Bad Ichigo, he thought to himself. At least make sure he’s not hurt, you idiot.

“You ok?” he asked. The man stiffened. Then he scrambled off of Ichigo and turned around, box shoved onto the ground. Ichigo stared up at him, and his breath caught in his throat. The man was tall, with broad shoulders, messy blue hair and piercing blue eyes. A white t-shirt stretched a little too tightly across his chest, and sweat beaded on his forehead, likely from the effort of moving boxes. Ichigo realized he was staring, and the man was staring back at him.

“Grimmy! Are you ok?!” a woman with green hair poked her head out of the truck the man had fallen from. The man glanced at her, and Ichigo realized that must be who she was referring to. The woman’s eyes fell on Ichigo and widened, before she turned back to the blue-haired man. “You shouldn’t get so distracted! Other people will get hurt!” The man’s cheeks reddened.

“’m fine,” he muttered. Then he looked at Ichigo and offered him a hand. “Y’alright?” he asked, clearly embarrassed. Ichigo blinked and took the hand, fighting back a blush.

“Uh, yeah. I’m…I’m good,” he replied. As the man helped him to stand, Ichigo had to virtually beat away the thoughts in his mind. Don’t focus on the biceps…don’t focus on the biceps…he chanted internally. Once he was upright, he swayed a little, the blood rushing anywhere but to his brain. “Sh-shit,” he mumbled as he stumbled a little. Immediately, a strong arm was wrapped around him.

“You sure about that?” a low voice asked. Ichigo closed his eyes. Get it together, Kurosaki, he chastised himself, you’re an assassin. You can’t be going weak in the knees for one hot guy. You see Renji every day. An image of Renji snoring, on his bed, hair tangled and drool pooling on the pillow next to him, rose in his mind and Ichigo found himself able to gain his composure. Ok, maybe Renji isn’t that hot…

“U-uh, yeah,” Ichigo mumbled. He opened his eyes and stepped away from the stranger. He turned around with a reassuring smile to the man and the woman. “Sorry about that.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Not the way you were planning on meeting your new neighbour, I’m sure. Uh, I’m Ichigo. Live next door,” Ichigo introduced himself. The green-haired girl smiled.

“I’m Nelliel! You can call me Nel! It’s nice to meet you, Ichigo! I’m glad Grimmy didn’t crush you into dust!” she answered with an enthusiastic wave.

‘Grimmy’ shot Nel a glare. He turned back to Ichigo. “’M Grimmjow. Not whatever weird nickname she” Grimmjow jerked a thumb toward Nel, “decides to give me for the day.” Grimmjow? More like Grimm-WOW. Ichigo internally cringed at his own lame pun and thanked the universe he didn’t say that out loud. He opened his mouth to make an excuse to leave when a voice behind him called out.

“IIICHIGOOOO~,” Kisuke’s voice rang out from the front door of his home. Ichigo tensed. “I see you’re not at Yoruichi’s and she said –”

Eyes wide, Ichigo spun around, desperate not to be roped into another experiment with deadly weapons and poisonous concoctions. “I’m helping the neighbours move in, Kisuke!” he hollered. He heard a quiet ‘huh?’ behind him and shot a pleading look over his shoulder at Grimmjow and Nel. Grimmjow frowned, confused, but Nel seemed to catch on. She smiled brightly and waved to Kisuke.

“Your son is really kind to offer his help!” she called. Ichigo dared a glance at Kisuke to see if the lie worked and caught sight of Kisuke’s knowing look. Unfortunately, the windows of the house gave a clear view of their neighbour’s front yard…so it looked like Ichigo would be under surveillance. Damn. I won’t be able to get away. He turned and held his arms out for a box, but it wasn’t Nel who handed him one. Instead, Grimmjow grabbed the large, heavy box he dropped earlier and rested half of it in Ichigo’s arms.

“It’s too heavy to carry alone,” was the only justification Ichigo got. He blinked, cheeks turning pink as he realized this would mean he’d have to work with Grimmjow…carrying things…watching the other man carry things…and see more of those lovely biceps…yeah, ok, maybe Ichigo was more on board with this than he thought.

[bakubabes-tatakae]

AO3 Link

A/N: If anyone would like to be added to the taglist for this please feel free to shoot me a message/ask. I'm happy to add anyone. 🥺💕

Masterlist

Summary: With a father like Kisuke Urahara you've got your own set of troubles. An exiled father at a young age means that you take care of yourself. That's when you found Renji Abarai and the Rukon district. Learning the way of the streets and trying to become a stronger soul reaper were your priorities, and Renji was there through it all. It's been years since you've been to the human world, how will it be when that reunion happens?

Warnings: fluff, angst, violence, near character death

Word Count: 2.8k

Chapter Two

Your apartment walls felt like they were going to close around you as you watched Renji get ready for the meeting that had just been called. You curled yourself up on the couch as he moved back and forth between the bedroom and living room. This had been the only time he had been called to a meeting like this in all the time he had taken over as Lieutenant for squad six.

Thoughts ran through your mind and took over, you got lost in yourself as you stared at the wall in front of you. Pictures of your dad before he left were front and center in your mind at the moment. What was he doing now? Would you ever truly get to see him again? Did he even remember you? What would he think of the woman you had grown into?

A touch to your chin as he tilted your face to look at him was what brought you back to your own world. “Y/n, what’s going on? I’ve been talking to you this whole time and you haven’t answered once.”

You shook your head slightly and gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I’m just… I dunno. I’m a little lost right now.”

His eyes narrowed as he stopped moving around for a second. He climbed onto the couch next to you and pulled you into his chest. “Tell me about it. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

You buried yourself into him, taking in the familiar scent of his cologne as he wrapped his strong arms around you. “It’s the same shit that I always think about, just a little amplified after the shit that Aizen said to me.”

Renji’s anger with Aizen hadn’t quite vanished yet and his words came off with more venom than he had meant for them to have. “Fuck Aizen, that guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” He kissed the top of your head. “He was just trying to get under your skin.”

You sighed deeply and leaned into the feeling of his kiss. “I know.” You looked at the clock and widened your eyes. “Renji, you have to get to that meeting. I can’t hold you up.”

He chuckled in agreeance, slowly climbing from the couch as you unwrapped yourself from him. “You’re right.” Renji approached the kitchen table and grabbed onto his Lieutenant’s badge, clutching it in his hand. “I think this is the first time I’ve ever had to wear this badge out like this.” He came back toward you and leaned down, pushing his lips out as he said goodbye. “I’ll be back before you know it, just listen for orders in the meantime. I don’t know what’s going on out there.”

Your lips caressed his and he stepped back, grabbing his zanpakuto from the wall as he walked toward the front door. You gave him the biggest smile that you could muster as he turned the knob. “I love you, Renji.”

He smiled back at you, knowing full well that when he walked out that door your thoughts would run wild again, but he was hopeful that he might have helped just a little. “I love you too, doll.”

And as that front door closed that was exactly what happened. Your thoughts were finally alone and you buried yourself into the couch, wrapping a blanket around you as you tried to feel a little better. What was going to happen to Rukia? Were these Ryoka that were here going to hurt anyone? Was your dad aware of what was happening in the Seireitei without even being here? Your eyes were fighting you to shut as you tried desperately to keep them open. Now was not the time to let your exhaustion win.

* * * * * *

“Red alert, red alert! Intruders in the Seireitei!” The sound of the loudspeakers jolted you from your sleep as you quickly grabbed for your zanpakuto. The front door couldn’t open fast enough as your feet carried you quickly to the guardhouse to await your orders from Captain Kuchiki. “All squads get into position!”

As you burst through the door of the guardhouse you realized that you were one of the first ones. People were slowly flooding in as you watched, leaning against the wall. Before any of you could even realize what exactly was happening with the first alert the loudspeakers came back on. “Red alert, red alert! The Seireitei has been breached. Everyone report to battle stations. This is not a drill.”

Your anxiety began to rise as you felt your become zanpakuto heavy at your side, you had never been forced to fight another soul reaper in anything but training. Could you even do this?

The familiar deep, raspy voice of the Captain rang through the walls as you all spotted him walking in, the crimson spike of Renji’s ponytail coming through right behind him. “Squad six!” In an instant everyone was quiet, Byakuya’s commanding presence pulling you all in. “There are Ryoka in the Seireitei, the only orders that I’m giving you is to keep them away from the prisoner and capture them!”

In unison, the squad hollered out, throwing their hands on their foreheads to salute. “Yes, Captain.”

Byakuya turned to look at you while speaking to Renji. “I want you and Y/n to come with me. We have some business to attend to.”

His words shocked you, but you followed. Everyone leaving the guardhouse, flooding the streets as they slowly began to branch off from one another. A loud sound and a bright light pulled all of your attention to the sky above you. Everyone stopped running to stare and Renji’s voice was loudest above the murmurs. You pulled yourself close to him, slightly hiding behind him as you watched the unusual object heading for you all. “What the hell is that thing up there?”

Byakuya stared on, barely changing his expression. “The soul membrane should stop it. We shouldn’t have to worry.”

“Captain,” You slowly walked out from behind Renji, walking toward the light more. “We should probably clear the area, what if it breaks through?”

Another loud crash sounded as you all watched the light hit the membrane. Sparks flew from the orb as you watched soul reapers all around you grabbing at their zanpakuto. Renji grabbed the back of your robes and pulled you close to him. “How did it hit the barrier and not shatter? That’s not possible.”

That’s when the unimaginable happened. The orb burst through the barrier, a giant explosive sound pulling anyone’s attention that didn’t have it already. Four lines of orange poured across the sky… they had to be the Ryoka.

A growl left Renji as he pulled at Zabimaru, readying him at his side. “They’ve broken into four. Damnit!”

Byakuya looked to you and back to Renji. “Change of plans. Renji, come with me. Y/n, take a squad and move out.”

Renji shot a glance to the Captain but knew that it was better to not argue. He stepped toward you as your eyes grew wide and placed a kiss on your forehead. “You’ve got this, my queen. I’ll find you once we’re done. You’re an amazing leader.”

His words eased your nerves as you nodded to the Captain, turning back to the group. You pointed to five of the squad members you wanted, motioning for them to follow you. “Let’s move!”

Renji stood with a proud smirk on his face as you faintly heard Byakuya speak to him again. “We can count on her, now let’s move.”

* * * * * *

Minutes felt like hours as you ran your team through the alleyways, watching for anything and everything that could be there to find you. Your senses were heightened to the maximum. Emptiness had surprised you as you ran, finding nothing was not something you had planned on. As you ran, immense soul pressure filled the area around you. You nearly stopped in your tracks as you realized what it was.

Renji. What were Byakuya and he doing?

The entire team stopped with you as you felt for his soul pressure, it had been something that you had become in tune with, the same as he had with your own. That’s when the pressure became even more immense.

He was fighting. Zabimaru had been called.

Just the pure height that his pressure had reached had told you that. A member of squad eleven approached from the side, opening his mouth quickly as he gave the news. “There have been two members of our squad pulled from battle with severe injuries, please, everyone be careful and keep passing on the message.” Your heart was now about to jump out of your throat. Renji was fighting… and the only one he would be fighting is a Ryoka.

You turned to your squad and pulled your dagger from your pocket, holding it in your hands. “Everyone listen up,” You scanned all their faces as you made a decision that you knew the captain would never agree with. “Carry on without me, until I’m back Harutoki is the one in charge.”

The man you had just placed in charge stared at you with a confused expression. “What are you going to do?”

You called forth your zanpakuto and gave him an apologetic look. “Resound, Zetsumei.” Your dagger became a katana as you began to walk away. “Lieutenant Abarai is fighting, the Captain isn’t with him.” You turned and started running. “I can’t leave him alone.”

The squad got farther and farther away as you continued running. Your feet couldn’t move you fast enough as you could feel his pressure getting closer and closer, all he had to do was hold out until you got there. Renji was one of the strongest lieutenants in the Gotei 13, there was no way a simple Ryoka could bring him down.

That’s when it hit you. The pressure faded, either Zabimaru had been called back and the fight was over or something terrible had happened. His pressure continued to fade, more than if Zabimaru had been called away. Something was wrong, very wrong.

Adrenaline now pumped through your body, it was the only thing carrying you toward him at this point. It couldn’t be happening, there was no way in hell that a Ryoka had done this much damage.

Despite the fade, his pressure got closer and closer to you. The silence that surrounded you as you made your way through the streets was haunting, but what was even more haunting was the scream that erupted. That voice. You would know it anywhere.

Your heart clenched as your legs stopped moving if you hadn’t fought as hard as you did, you would have fallen to your knees. You felt more people running up behind you as you had stopped in your tracks. “Y/n, what are you doing?”

You turned around and met the face of Izuru, the Lieutenant of squad three. “Izu…” Your voice trailed off as you fought the knot in your throat.

“There’s a battle going on somewhere around here, you can’t just stand here. Why don’t you come with us?”

Zetsumei was heavy in your hand as your eyes began to well up. “I know there is.” You let the blade of your katana drag across the ground slightly as you walked toward him. “There was a Lieutenant fighting, I could feel the pressure…” As you carried on the others began to realize what you had been meaning. “It was Renji… but his pressure, it’s nearly faded away.”

There was no emotion in your face as Izuru stared back, he grabbed your hand and dragged you behind him. Izuru had known you for a long time, known exactly how much Renji meant to you, and he knew the only way your feet would move was by force.

You all carried on, knowing that you were getting closer to where the battle had been by the debris that now laid around. Izuru led you all, but as you turned the last corner he stopped. You bumped into him and as you were about to scold him you saw what you had been dreading.

It was Renji… his body laid face down, blood pooling around him. His long hair covered his face as his normal ponytail had come undone.

Your feet started moving slowly, the others running around you in an attempt to help. “Lieutenant Abarai!”

At the sound of their panicked voices, your feet moved faster, everything sinking in on how bad the situation really was. You dropped to your knees beside him, nothing but pure terror on your voice. “Renji!” You shouted orders to the people around you as you attempted to get the man on the ground to speak to you. “Please, no. Now isn’t your time.” You knew you were pleading. “Get someone from squad four, we need to get him to the guardhouse.” The men around you went running, leaving Izuru to stand with you. “You can’t leave me! Not now!”

A stretcher appeared with the members of squad four and you watched with quick, worried breaths as he was carried away.

* * * * * *

You sat next to him, his body covered by a sheet to keep him warm, but the injuries that covered him were enough to terrify you. Bandages covered his left shoulder and more covered his body hidden beneath the fabric. Renji’s breathing was quick as the pain flooded him, shaking from the wounds that his skin wore like a leaf in a rain storm. You ran your hand through his hair, hearing the people around you talking, but not recognizing a word that left their mouths like it had been a foreign language.

The only thing that snapped you back to reality was the harsh voice of your Captain. “That is out of the question.”

You looked up at him, the anger visible on his face as you stared into his eyes. “Captain?”

He ignored you and continued talking. “Renji is to be taken to prison.”

His words cut through you like a knife. “What?!” You stood, your legs still weak underneath you, and made your way toward him. “For what? You can’t be serious!” Izuru held his arm out to stop you, knowing that you would have tried to strike him otherwise.

Izuru protested for him. “Captain Kuchiki, without proper treatment…”

Byakuya cut him off. “Then he’ll die. It was his choice to enter that fight alone. A defeat is forbidden in that situation.”

You fought to push past Izuru as you screamed at your Captain. “Please! Don’t do this! Captain, he’s your Lieutenant. He’s been nothing but loyal to you!”

“I have no use for a fool who doesn’t understand that.”

The words cut deeper and deeper into you as you realized that you weren’t going to win. You drew your dagger in a last-ditch effort. “I won’t let you take him. He can’t die!”

Byakuya turned and began to walk away. “Save your breath, Y/n. If you don’t like it then you can go with him. You did ditch your squad to find him after all.” His last words made your heart clench, the Captain had always taken such pride in Renji. “The fact that he’s still breathing offends me. Take him away.”

Izuru held you back as Byakuya left the room. He spun you around to look at him, shaking you gently to try to make you listen. “Say what you need to now. We don’t have a choice. We have to take him to the prison.”

You begged him as two more captains appeared in the room. “He could die! There’s got to be something we can do.”

Captain Ichimaru approached first. “There’s nothing you can do. You have five minutes and then we take him away.” Gin pointed toward the door for everyone to leave. Captain Hitsugaya left last with an apologetic touch to your shoulder.

As everyone left the room you placed your hand on his cheek. “Don’t you dare die on me, Renji Abarai.” You placed a soft kiss on his lips, his body relaxing for a fraction of a second. “We haven’t had time to do everything in life that we always said we would. We’re supposed to grow old together, have all those kids we talked about.” You didn’t even realize that you were crying until you saw the tear fall onto his face. “I love you so much, Renji. I’ll figure this out. I promise.”

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[plunnies-n-shit]

War! What is it Good For? (Absolutely Nothing)

Bleach -- UraGrimmIchi -- Post-Canon

Post tybw kisuke goes back to the Soul Society to take over the Fourth ("only until Isane is comfortable to take over the position," he threatens, and Kyoraku almost trips over himself to agree) and Ichigo goes with him. Tessai and Yoruichi are staying in the Human World to have the domestic bliss they've been dreaming about having for the last century and a half and they've agreed to take care of Karin and Yuzu so long as Ichigo visits regularly, and Ichigo is just...

It was a joke, during the war against Aizen. Probably not even legal, because Ichigo is only a Substitute Soul Reaper, but he’d achieved bankai already and bested multiple Captains in single combat. Renji had thrown it out there that Ichigo could technically claim captaincy even without the support of a single other Captain, and--

Byakuya had drawn up the documents. Every living Captain and Vice-captain at the time had endorsed it with their signature. As had the Vizards, once Renji had gotten them adequately drunk, and Urahara, because he thought it’d been funny at the time, and Yoruichi, because she never passes over a chance to make Ichigo squirm. It all had been forgotten, seemingly, once Aizen died, in the months in between, when Yhwach rose and the Three Worlds were thrown into war again. 

The war is over, now, but apparently Shunsui found the recommendation, and now he’s trying to cash in on it.

Ichigo could refuse. He should refuse-- he’s technically not alive anymore, living out of a gigai and a shitty apartment a short walk from where he’d intended to go to college, but he had wanted to go to college, to experience Human Things for a little bit before he finally moved over into the Soul Society. The last couple of decades have left Seireitei absolutely gutted, though, and Ichigo’s never really been able to ignore friends in need, and.

And Urahara’s going too.

And it’s. Funny. Because since he was fifteen, Ichigo can’t really remember a time when Urahara wasn’t there for him. Getting his powers, saving Rukia. Fighting Aizen. In the eighteen months when Ichigo didn’t have his powers, Urahara would drop by at least once a week, sharing tea and snacks and news about the Soul Society, even while he was working tirelessly to make sure Ichigo’s powers were returned. And then, during Yhwach’s war-- Kisuke almost lost his eyes for Ichigo, and he’s still suffering the consequences of Benihime’s hasty repair even as they finish up packing.

Not being there for Urahara in return doesn’t even really feel like an option.

But that doesn't mean that Ichigo isn't going to be an absolute little shit-stirrer because now he's in the Soul Society and now he's going to be able to make all the changes that he saw needed to be made but couldn't make because he was an outsider with no sway. Now he's an insider with a lot of sway. So the first thing he does is go to the remaining arrancar like "Yo. Which one of you is interested in being my lieutenant."

Grimmjow moves to the Soul Society almost full-time to be Ichigo's Lieutenant and also to help Ichigo start rooting out some of the dirty laundry the Gotei has been hiding because the last two skeletons the Gotei tried to shove into the closet came out swinging and almost dragged the Three Worlds down with them. And Urahara is there beside them, ever-cheerful, ever-helpful, because it's always been Ichigo and Kisuke, Kisuke and Ichigo, but now it's Ichigo and Kisuke and Grimmjow and really i want you to name a more chaotic trio.

While they're doing this tho Grimmjow's having his own kinda-crisis because it's apparently taken him two wars to figure out that his intense desire to wrap his hands around Ichigo's throat maybe isn't as anger-fueled as he thought it was. But Ichigo and Kisuke look practically married. They live together (naow with Grimmjow), they walk each other to work on alternating days, they sleep on two futons squished together, Ichigo sometimes wears Kisuke's kimono around the house (and out of the house, it was an accident but Renji is never going to let him live it down)

They're not. Married. Tho.

Well. Kinda.

Kisuke is willing to let his relationship with Ichigo be whatever the fuck Ichigo wants their relationship to be because Kisuke is so hopelessly in love with Ichigo that it's almost painful to watch.

And Ichigo is blissfully oblivious to all of this because this man is perceptive when it comes to most things but people's affections for him go right over his head

if Grimmjow and Kisuke didn't tag-team him Ichigo literally would have never figured it out.

Ichigo is definitely perceptive things other than his love life, though. Like shipments going missing. Patrols where they shouldn't be. Hollows slipping through into the inner Rukongai en-mass when Ichigo knows they should have it covered and Grimmjow knows those hollows definitely shouldn't be there.

There's been a whole-ass rebellion brewing right under the Gotei's nose this whole time.

And it's about to boil over.

[cheshiresense]

For the headcanon thing if I'm not too late. Headcanons for FemIchigo/Kisuke ship?

Lol you didn’t give me an AU? Guess I could throw them in the canon verse but the events wouldn’t be much dif imo. But let’s see how this goes.

Edit: Welp. This got long.

1. Ichigo keeps her hair long because of her mom. Masaki had long hair, and even if it’s not the exact same colour, Ichigo grows her own hair out in her honour, as a reminder of the one time she failed to protect her precious people and just because she’s never met anyone with hair as pretty as her mom’s.

The first time she gets into a serious fight with Shinigami, that dick Renji uses it against her. He grabs her hair, and taunts her with it, and in the end, she kicks his ass, but then his dick boss shows up and just about kills her. When she wakes up at the Shouten, she’s half-naked, wrapped in bandages, and her hair’s been sliced ragged, left in uneven strands around her shoulders where before it had reached her waist. Urahara is nice enough to cut and style it for her. He tells her he only knows how to cut it one way because a good friend of his used to wear her hair short. It’s cute enough, and at the end of the day, Ichigo would much rather keep her life than her hair, but she also locks herself in the bathroom later that night and has a good cry about it. It’s stupid, it’s just hair, it’ll grow back, but it still feels a little like losing her mother all over again. She gives herself twenty minutes, and then she gets her shit together because she has to go save Rukia, and Urahara promised to make her strong enough so she needs to get some sleep more than anything else right now. When she gets back to her room though, the rest of the Shouten is still silent but there’s a tray of tea by her futon, still hot, and too sweet to have been made by Tessai. Ichigo doesn’t even like tea, but it’s a surprisingly kind, amusingly awkward gesture from a man who knows too much and tells her too little. She drinks it all, making a face at the taste but appreciating the warmth that spreads all the way to her fingertips, and when she lies back down and closes her eyes, sleep comes easier this time.

2. Kisuke’s the one who carries her back to the Shouten after she defeats Aizen and subsequently collapses in the aftermath. He thinks it would’ve been easier if she’d been born a boy. She’s tall for her age and gender, but she feels more fragile like this, her shoulders narrower than her usual larger-than-life personality would suggest, her frame less sturdy. Even her bones feel more delicate. Then again, she’s still only sixteen and she’s already lost half her soul in a war she should never have had to fight in the first place, and a good chunk of that blame can be laid squarely at Kisuke’s feet, so maybe boy or girl, it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. She’s light enough that Kisuke can carry her without difficulty, but her weight still feels like shackles around his wrists, tied to an anchor at the bottom of the ocean, like the worst of his sins given life, and Kisuke hadn’t ever thought that would be something he’d have trouble bearing until now. But the least he can do is carry her home, so that’s what he does. He takes her back to the Shouten and cleans her up and heals her– it’s a routine he’s uncomfortably familiar with these days. He doesn’t know if she’s ever consciously realized it, but he’s seen her naked enough times to feel like a pervert. He was Onmitsukidou, and he’s seen Yoruichi change in front of him enough times that the female body doesn’t make him blink, but Ichigo’s young - old enough to have developed curves, young enough that his hands shouldn’t be anywhere near her (figuratively or literally) - but there’s nobody else to do it, Yoruichi is always inconveniently away, so Kisuke keeps his eyes and hands well within professional range, runs a bath for her that takes care of most of the dirt and sweat and blood so he only has to make sure she doesn’t drown, and then whisks her off back to bed where he can bandage up what his Kidou can’t heal before settling down to monitor her reiatsu levels.

She remains in a coma for a month. Kisuke is the one who takes care of her, from fresh bedding to sponge baths to IV-fed fluids, even trimming her hair when it starts looking too shaggy (she’s growing it out again, so he doesn’t cut more than what he has to). By the time she opens her eyes, Kisuke’s just relieved she wakes at all, and it doesn’t seem like she’s (physically) much worse for wear so at least his caretaking skills aren’t terrible. All the discomfort in the world can be tolerated if it means Ichigo remains as healthy as she can possibly be.

3. Ichigo doesn’t see or hear from Urahara or any other Shinigami for the next seventeen months, and she tries not to let it get to her. She still sees her human friends at school, even if she’s no longer welcome in a large part of their daily lives, and Shinigami probably don’t think a year and a half is all that long. Besides, at the end of the day, she knew most of her Shinigami acquaintances for a handful of months tops; that’s hardly grounds for eternal friendship. She’s hurt by their absence, but she keeps herself busy with school, with homework, with the part-time job she finds just to fill the hours in-between. She gets good at ignoring the fact that she knows where her friends go after school, knows where her sisters go, and that she can no longer follow them. Urahara doesn’t wear a gigai after all, and it wouldn’t be fair to ask him to. He probably has better things to do too now that the war is over and Ichigo has done her duty.

So it’s been seventeen months of mind-numbing (soul-wrenching) monotony, and then she gains a stalker. She would never have chased that thief down if she had known Ginjou Kuugou was so… greasy. She doesn’t just mean his hair either; everything about him oozes an oily sort of charm that sets off every alarm bell her mom drilled into her head about Stranger Danger, Female Edition, and it becomes clear very quickly that Ginjou is exactly the sort of man who just won’t take no for an answer. He follows her around, flirts like he thinks she finds him attractive, keeps inviting her out for a meal, even tracks her down at work, and Ichigo’s just about had it with him after he “bumps” into her while she’s walking home from doing the grocery-shopping, because she may not be a Shinigami anymore but she sure as hell still knows how to defend herself and kick a creep in the balls when he dares to sling a too-proprietary arm around her waist, as if he has any right.

As it turns out though, she doesn’t have to. Ginjou gets about half a second to touch her, still blathering on about having something interesting to show her if she lets him treat her to some ramen, and then he’s being ripped away from her, abruptly enough to tear a shout from him, and Ichigo spins around just in time to see Urahara twist Ginjou’s arm behind him at a painful-looking angle before slamming him face-first into a nearby wall.

Ichigo doesn’t think she’s ever seen Urahara so… openly violent before. She can’t stop staring for a long moment, because that casual, effortless strength is… not something Ichigo would mind seeing again. If nothing else, it’s clearly effective (and pointedly ignores the voice that says she isn’t staring because it’s effective). The look on his face though is positively serene, if you don’t count the ominous shadow that his hat is somehow casting over his eyes.

“I do believe Kurosaki-san has asked you to stop harassing her,” the shopkeeper says in tones so airily cheerful only an idiot would buy the act. Ginjou doesn’t reply anyway. He can’t. Urahara’s yanked his arm up high enough to let him simultaneously choke the life out of the guy, his hand about as movable as stone as it pins Ginjou’s wrist to the back of his neck and his neck to the brick wall.

“Hey,” Ichigo says, and then stops, because on one hand, this guy probably doesn’t deserve to be straight-up murdered, but also if anyone in Ichigo’s life can kill a human and make the corpse disappear, it would be Urahara.

But Urahara glances at her, then shrugs a little and releases Ginjou, only to knock him over the head with his cane, hard enough to send him crumpling to the ground in an unconscious heap. There’s a moment of silence after that, and then Ichigo remembers to be irritated because she’s no one’s damsel in distress. “I could’ve handled him, you know.”

It comes out sharper than even she intends, but the sight of him reminds her of how long she hasn’t seen him or any of her other Shinigami friends, and it’s hard to remain mature about it when one of them is suddenly right in front of her again. Urahara, because he’s Urahara, just rakes a too-discerning eye over her like he can see right through her annoyance to the root of it. His expression tightens with something Ichigo can’t name, but all he does is incline his head in acknowledgement even as he smiles in a way that makes her want to punch him. “Of course, Kurosaki-san, but what kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t interfere?”

Ichigo gives him the flat unimpressed look that deserves, Urahara’s smile twitches into something more genuinely amused, and for a second, it almost feels as if no time at all has passed since the last time they’d shared an actual conversation. Then Ginjou groans, Ichigo bristles irritably, and Urahara’s smile fades.

“Kurosaki-san,” He calls out before Ichigo can do more than turn away. “There are some things you need to know. But perhaps we can take this off the streets first? Come back to my Shouten; I will explain everything there.”

Ichigo turns back, scowling suspiciously at the blond, then down at greasy stalker. Great. She should’ve known; of course it would be Shinigami business that actually dragged Urahara out of his shop and into his first interaction with Ichigo after seventeen months of radio silence. But… if Urahara is willing to explain just what greasy stalker wanted to drag her into, Ichigo would be an idiot to turn him down.

“Fine,” She grumbles. “I’m using your fridge though. I’ve got ice-cream in here and it’s gonna melt before I get home at this rate.”

Urahara beams at her and hefts greasy stalker over his shoulder before ushering her to the Shouten. True to his word, he tells her about the Fullbringers who’ve invaded Karakura, and he tells her that the Shinigami have been monitoring the situation, and then he tells her he has a way to return her powers and soul-spirits to her. He shows her the sword, engraved with a bunch of intricate symbols she can’t even begin to decipher, and it thrums with so much power even she can feel it. She has a sudden epiphany that it must’ve taken even a genius like Urahara quite a while to make something like this, because she’d asked around, before she’d lost the ability to see Shinigami, and she knows for a fact that fixing her soul should’ve been impossible. The realization that Urahara must’ve been working on this for the past seventeen months goes a long way to soothing any fair or unfair feelings she had towards him, even if she also thinks he could’ve just told her. But she thinks that, and then she thinks that Urahara probably didn’t because he hadn’t wanted to get her hopes up for nothing. It’s stupid, but so is the way he eases the sword through her chest as gently as possible, as if it makes a difference at all when that first jolt of foreign reiatsu to her system still hurts like a bitch. She thinks she can forgive stupidity though if it’s coming from him. Not that she’ll ever tell him that.

In the aftermath, the Fullbringers disappear one by one, and nobody says anything but an increasingly manically cheerful Urahara gets a lot of wary side-eyes from the Shinigami trooping through Karakura over the next couple of weeks. It’s Rukia (Rukia who never so much as passed on a how-are-you, and Ichigo doesn’t blame her, but she’s never going to forget it either) who tells her later about Urahara kneeling in front of all the Gotei’s captains and lieutenants and begging them to help, who bowed his head through the Captain-Commander’s orders to keep the sword back until a powerless Ichigo has drawn out all the Fullbringers, only to immediately disobey as soon as he got the reiatsu he needed from them.

Ichigo asks, of course, just once, why. True to form, Urahara doesn’t give her a straight answer, he shrugs and lies instead, “Well it isn’t as if there’s anything else they can do to little old me in exile, is there?” But for just a moment, he also looks directly at Ichigo, his gaze steady and calm and unyielding, like there was never anything else he could’ve done, like choosing Ichigo over the Gotei was a decision made as easily as he breathed.

Much, much later, looking back, Ichigo thinks maybe that was the moment she first fell just a little bit in love.

4. Somewhere between the Quincy War and Yoruichi and Tessai moving back to Soul Society and the kids deciding they want to experience high school and normal life at the Kurosaki household, Kisuke wakes up one morning to Ichigo cooking breakfast in his kitchen and realizes he’s sharing a house with a twenty-year-old college student whose Gargantas make for the easiest commute to and from school in the history of public transportation. He stands in the doorway for a long minute, just watching her go through the motions that have become routine at the Shouten for… months now. Ever since he survived the war by the skin of his teeth and ended up half-blind because Benihime is only a quick, crude fix when Kisuke doesn’t know the exact makeup of whatever he’s restructuring. He’d had to study that, and then get some hands-on practice, before finally re-restructuring his eyes one more time. Ichigo had been a big help. Kisuke had had difficulties reading, along with dizzy spells and crippling headaches, so even though she didn’t understand everything, she also spent long hours with him, reading out loud and taking down notes for him, cooking for him and keeping his house clean and even manning the shopfront for him when Tessai was busy with the Kidou Corps. And then, once he was better… well, apparently she’d just never moved back out, and Kisuke had liked the company (has always liked her company) that he’d obliviously taken her presence here for granted.

She turns around now, probably sensing him. Her hair’s almost as long as it used to be back when they’d first met, but she’s tied it up into a messy bun. She’s still in pajama pants and one of his shirts because she likes the larger size and she keeps stealing them and Kisuke doesn’t mind, he has more than enough.

Maybe he should’ve minded.

“Hey,” Ichigo greets around a stifled yawn. “Food’s almost done. Could you set the table?”

Kisuke makes an agreeable noise and starts pulling down tableware from the cupboards. The coffee’s also done so he pours a mug, and then prepares the tea with the water that’s just finished boiling. Five minutes later, they’re seated around the table, Ichigo grumbling memorized literature quotes into her coffee because she has finals next week, and Kisuke just… watches her. They’ve thrown the porch doors open because it’s summer and the morning breeze is nice. Ichigo has her back to it, and the sunrise that frames her head like a halo gilds her bright hair gold. When she finally sets her coffee down, she looks up and catches his eye, and even as her eyebrows go up in an unspoken question, the smile that blooms across her face at the same time is as much a reflex as it is genuine, like the mere sight of him is something to be happy about, and Kisuke is helpless to do anything but smile back.

Shit, he thinks, far too late. I’m definitely going to hell.

5. “I’m definitely going to hell,” he moans into the table. Yoruichi, because she is first and foremost a terrible best friend, is too busy laughing at him to console him. At least she came prepared with the sake when he called her in a panic once Ichigo had left for class.

“Took you long enough,” Yoruichi chortles, like this isn’t a Big Problem. “Tessai thought for sure you’d realize she’s practically your wife-” Kisuke winces. “-when she went off to college and still went back to the Shouten every night. But I’ve known you longer so I figured it would take you a while before it clicked.”

“We are roommates,” He hisses vehemently, downing another cup of alcohol before pouring himself some more. “I’ve never- Yoruichi-san, I would never- I wouldn’t-”

“Well that was obvious too,” Yoruichi snorts, but her gold eyes are suddenly a lot less amused a lot more focused, acute and unblinking on his face. “But you know, if she’s old enough to kill for you, then she’s old enough to fuck.”

Kisuke freezes, and then straightens, and he has never looked at Yoruichi the way he does now, but there’s ice in his veins and a knot of flash-fire rage and black-fanged guilt clawing up his gut, and he couldn’t stop the crass words if he wanted to, “She was old enough to kill for me at fifteen; was she old enough to fuck then too?”

Yoruichi doesn’t even flinch, just pins him with a burning look sharp enough to cut. “Well you didn’t wanna fuck her then, did you? But she’s an adult now, and she can make her own choices, and I know you suck at human-ing so I’m gonna go ahead and give you a piece of advice in advance and hopefully save everyone a lot of needless drama - in general, people don’t like it when you make decisions for them because you think you know better. So before you panic even more and start pushing her away ‘for her own good’ but really actually because you freaked out about having feelings, maybe, just maybe, ask her what she wants.” She grins like a tiger that has its prey cornered. “Ichigo’s not stupid. Even I don’t know if she knows about your gigantic crush yet, she’s surprisingly closed off about personal issues, but let me just remind you, Kisuke - she didn’t sit at my bedside, or Shinji’s, or even Rukia’s, after the war, and you know full we were all laid out for days, if not from injuries then exhaustion.” She leans forward and snags the front of his Shihakushou to give him a hard shake. “Are you listening to me, Kisuke? She cares about you, and you care about her, and I have not seen you this happy in a very, very long time.” She glares at him, daring him to argue. “Even if nothing comes from this, even if you just stay friends, don’t you dare fuck this up for yourself. You’ve got a good thing here. She’s good for you, and she makes you happy. And it’s not a crime to be happy, Kisuke.”

She lets him go. Kisuke doesn’t move for a long minute, and this time, Yoruichi waits him out. “…What if I’m not good for her though?”

Yoruichi clicks her tongue and reaches for her own sake again, limbs going feline-languid once more. “That’s for her to decide. She’s got a decent head on her shoulders, Kisuke; if you really were poison for her like you seem to think you are every damn turn of the moon, she would’ve dropped you a long time ago.” She pauses to take a swig, and then she kicks him under the table hard enough to make him yelp. “Now quit being a coward, drink your damn sake, and then go home and be disgustingly domestic with your roommate when she gets back. And if after all this crap you put me through, you still end up hurting her, I’m gonna tell Kuukaku, and she’ll make you wish you were just dead.”

Kisuke thinks about that for a moment, remembers some of the antics Kuukaku used to get up to with Yoruichi, and internally cringes. “Right,” he sighs. Yoruichi rolls her eyes at him, and he sighs again. Well, he supposes he should’ve known better than to get any sympathy from Yoruichi. He also mulls over what she’s said though, and… well. If nothing else, Ichigo’s choices are her own. Kisuke’s manipulated her into a war once already. He can’t - he won’t - do it to her again, for anything.

He downs the last of his alcohol and this time dares to hope.

6. They never actually sit down and lay all their cards on the table and talk about it. It’s not in either of their natures; Ichigo prefers actions, and ninety percent of Kisuke’s words have always been used to deflect and manipulate. But, for Ichigo, the Shouten becomes home. She never moves out (and yes, she knew what she was doing when she packed up most of her belongings and carted them over to the shop), and at first, it was just to help because Kisuke was so badly injured from the war, but the longer she stayed, the harder it was to think about leaving again for good. When Kisuke hadn’t said anything even after he’d fully recovered, she took it as permission to stay, and of course that didn’t do anything to make her like him less. She enjoys his company, likes reading in his labs while he fiddles with his experiments, likes surprising him with new recipes, likes being surprised when he modifies or creates yet another Kidou spell for her monstrous levels of reiatsu so that it won’t blow up when she tries it. She likes that he always tucks her into bed if she falls asleep at her desk studying, and she likes that he trusts her enough to walk around without wearing his hat all the time. She likes that between her strength and adaptability and his creativity and cunning, they’re more or less evenly matched in a spar, and the harder she pushes him, the more thrilled he gets at having to work for his victories. She likes that he comes home one day with something both new and still familiar in his eyes when he looks at her, and a month later, on her birthday, he takes her halfway across the world to a rare book convention with a focus on Shakespeare, and halfway through that, his hand swings out to tangle her fingers with his own.

They never really talk about it, but Ichigo migrates into his bedroom one night and never sleeps in her own room again. They take things slow, honestly more for Kisuke’s benefit than her own, but she doesn’t mind because mostly, she just likes having Kisuke there, with her. He still treats her like glass sometimes, like something priceless he’s afraid to smudge just by touching it. Those days, Ichigo sprawls across him with all her weight and stays there until he wraps himself more firmly around her, usually dozing off while Ichigo works on a draft of her first book.

They don’t talk about it. But they don’t have to, to know what they mean to each other.

[dearcat1]

Alessandra AU

Fandom: Bleach, Katekyo Hitman Reborn.

Relationships: Ichigo Kurosaki & Xanxus.

Summary: Ichigo reborn as Xanxus’ little sister.

.

[Part 1] [Part 2]

Honestly, Xanxus is not even surprised when these particular bunch of clowns appear in front of him. He's just happy that it happens during his sister's first day of Mafia School. He doesn't want them anywhere near his baby sister. Not after he saw the amount of damage her soul is still healing from. 

There had been quite a lot of casualties the day Xanxus found out. His elements don't talk about it, Alessandra looks oddly touched if the subject ever comes up. The entirety of the training grounds had to be rebuilt but Xanxus figures they should be happy Xanxus had mellowed enough not to go out hunting. 

"Rukia, I presume," he drawls and looks the outfit over. Summer dress and a cute little smile, she looks like a high schooler and all-around good little girl. The act won't serve her well here, though, this is the Varia and they know better than some Japanese teachers over three decades ago. Alessandra is fond of her, Xanxus hates her with a passion that surprises even him. 

Both of them agree, whatever debt was owed to her has long been paid. 

"Ah, yes, mister Xanxus," she demurs, sweet as sugar. "Is Ichigo here? We'd like to talk to him."

Xanxus hides his fury behind his careless facade. He's a mafia Don, he knows how to play this game, no matter how compromised he is. "Ichigo Kurosaki is dead," he doesn't say because of you but he hopes she heard it regardless. "He doesn't live here."  

She falters at that, for a split second, and then recovers. "My apologies. I meant Alessandra, mister. Could we talk to her?" 

With a hum, Xanxus shrugs, takes a deliberately slow gulp of his whisky and watches her do her best to reign in her temper. "I don't believe you can, no." 

"And why is that?" She asks, tone far tighter and teeth pressed together. 

Maybe he shouldn't be taking as much enjoyment from this as he is but Xanxus doesn't give a shit about her comfort, "for starters, she's not here at the moment." 

"And?" Rukia demands and Xanxus lets her.

Let her think that she's untouchable, let her go on with that for a while yet. Xanxus wants to see the realization in her face, the fear creeping in. He'll draw the line in the sand and he's taken measures to ensure it will be respected. "And even if she was, I wouldn't let an ungrateful traitor like you anywhere near her."

"Traitor?" Rukia grits out and there it is, the temper. If Xanxus didn't hate her so, he'd admire her spine. "We are his friends!"

Yes, Ichigo's friends in just the same way that Timoteo is Xanxus' father. It's easier on the mind to call it kindness than manipulation, after all. "Were you? Then why is it that you only come around when you need something?" 

Rukia's eyes widen and she flinches back, Urahara beside her lowers his head and hides behind his fan. The third soul reaper just grimaces slightly and Xanxus has no idea which one this is but he's going to hate him out of principle. "Or am I wrong?" He goes on, knowing full well that he isn't. "Are you here just to say hi and not because you need a child to fight for you? Incompetent as you seem to be." 

"Soul Society needs…" 

"To lower its ego." Xanxus finishes for her, "if it needed to be created, it means the world survived before it as well. Your disappearance might make things hard for a while but the world will adapt. If an organization has become incompetent enough to need a teenager to save them when they have people who have been alive for centuries on their payroll…" 

He lets the implications settle, lets them see how unwilling he is to cooperate. Let them know he will not bow to their self-importance. 

"We could just ask Ichigo directly," she answers, smug with the knowledge that very few have ever been more important to Ichigo than his family and friends.

Xanxus doesn't let it bother him. This girl, centuries-old or not, is in denial. She can't seem to think of Alessandra in any other way than in terms of Ichigo. And yes, Ichigo and Alessandra are at their core the same but reincarnation has its impacts and as much as Ale remembers her life as Ichigo, it's faded like all old memories are. And Xanxus is her older brother, the one she admires and looks up to. The one she trusts to keep her safe. 

"You do that," he mocks, drinking a little more whisky. "She'll give you the same answer: no. My sister won't break a promise to me for the likes of you." But seeing as he doesn't want any of them near his Ale, he leans forward in mostly fake interest. "Let me show you something, before you go. Try to get out of that fake body of yours." 

Though Xanxus can see the obvious disinterest at the beginning, he can also tell the moment she realizes that she can't. Xanxus smiles, all teeth and bloodlust, "what do you think will happen to you should you die in that? You're, after all, already a spirit." 

Verde's services had been incredibly expensive to acquire but Xanxus wasn't about to get stingy on such important matters. Besides, the new data might just be enough for the crazy scientist to stick around a little longer. 

"You're a good brother," soul reaper number three says with something that tries to hide approval. "I am glad. Send Alessandra my regards, we will be leaving."

"But brother!" 

"Rukia," the man Xanxus now can identify as Byakuya reprimands, "we're going." 

The girl follows with a frown on her face and evident confusion surrounding her. Xanxus doesn't care, if he never sees her again he'll be a happier man for it. He turns to look at the blonde instead. "So?" 

"Her soul," Urahara begins, hesitant. "It can't be fully healed."

It's not, it really isn't and Xanxus is both furious and terrified. It must show in his face somehow because the scientist closes his fan, clutching it against his chest like a lifeline. Ichigo loved this man like a father, Xanxus knows. Alessandra loves him mostly the same, perhaps because there was no father in this life to muddy the waters. She misses him, after nightmares or bad days. Xanxus… he doesn't know how he feels about it. 

"I couldn't save Ichigo," and like this, without the fan hiding his face, it's easy to see the grief and regret. The desperation. "I couldn't. But Alessandra… the machines I made to keep Ichigo stable, they should help her heal." 

This is begging, Xanxus knows. And he wants to deny the man, turn him away and demand he never returns. But he remembers his sister's words "Kisuke didn't know what was happening" and her unwavering belief that even if everybody else abandoned her, Urahara would have fought tooth and nail for Ichigo's life. So he nods, ignoring the tightness of his jaw. "Send the research over, if it checks out, we'll contact you."

He doesn't know what comes over him but in a moment of mercy or maybe out of misplaced fondness, he reaches for the man. Xanxus lays a hand on the blonde's shoulder and hands over a small picture the Varia Commander always carries with him. Alessandra, smug and grinning at the camera. He has more copies anyway.

Kisuke leaves after that, clutching the picture to him like it's the one thing that keeps him going. Maybe it is. Xanxus… about this man, he doesn't know what to think.

[misc-headcanons]

Ichigo becomes the damsel in distress for once, now everyone from the Shoten, Karakura gang, Gotei 13, the vizards, Shibas and Kurosakis have to square up and save the strawberry.

So first of all, Orihime steps the fuck up and is one of the main organizers of the rescue effort. She knows what it's like to be kidnapped and to feel so powerless, and Ichigo has always been there to save her. This time, it's her turn to save him. She and Rukia are the ones leading the charge when they invade the villain's hideout, and for the first time ever, she uses Tsubaki a lot during her fights. She doesn't have any kind of bloodlust, but she's no longer afraid of channeling her anger through her powers in the slightest. 

Urahara's group is in charge of finding a way to the villain's stronghold. With Kisuke (and Mayuri, who insists on working with him) scientific knowledge, Tessai's level of Kido, and Yoruichi's stealth (as well as Soi Fon), they're able to sneak in all of the rescue teams in a rush attack that completely blindsides Ichigo's kidnappers. No "coming through in waves" shit, everyone is teleporting in at once.

Kukaku and Ganju are excited to get some real action for once, and they're determined to rescue Ichigo with the usual Shiba clan flair. Kukaku launches her brother through a giant cannon, and he's tossing Kido bombs at clusters of enemies to disorient and break them apart. The entire time she's fighting, Kukaku's cigarette doesn't fall out of her mouth once.

The Vizards are masked up the second they enter the fray, and Hiyori is one of the more frantic members of the fight. She's yelling for Ichigo and threatening every enemy that gets in her way: 

"Oi, give us back our idiot!"

"What do ya mean, Hiyori? Shinji's right over there!"

"No, our other idiot!"

Kenpachi and Grimmjow are annoyed at how easily Ichigo managed to get kidnapped, but they're also excited to fight the guys who were strong enough to beat him in the first place. The two of them are keeping score of how many enemies they kill, and are yelling their scores across the battlefield. Yachiru tries to help Kenny by saying that her wins should be added to Kenny's overall score:

"That's fucking cheating! If you can have her scores, then I want a partner too. Oi, Redhead! How many have you taken down so far?"

"For the last time, my name is Renji! You don't see me calling you "Bluehead", do you?"

When they hear that Ichigo's been taken, Karin and Yuzu refuse to take no for an answer when Isshin tries to tell them to stay at home. The entire time on the battlefield, Isshin is keeping an eye on them, but thanks to how long they've been training with their powers they can really hold their own. Karin, Chad, and Toshiro even have a cool "Fastball Special" kind of technique where Chad'll send her through the air and Toshiro will make ice platforms for her to jump between as she takes down enemies from above. Yuzu's more suited to healing, so she, Tessai, Hachigen, and the Squad 4 members are tending the injuries of anyone they're near. She can still hold her own in a fight though; she sees an enemy coming from behind to ambush her dad and just whips out her Quincy weapon at light speed to take them out. Eventually she joins Karin in the air and works as a sniper, and finds a way to shoot damaging arrows at enemies while shooting arrows filled with healing Kido at allies that have fallen down. Uryu (who taught her to use her Quincy powers) is a VERY proud teacher.

Ichigo's cut off from using any of his abilities, but when he looks outside of his prison cell window and sees the literal ARMY of his friends that are storming the enemy's castle, he smirks at the villain holding him captive. "Guess I don't need to kick your ass by myself now; I've got plenty of friends who can help me with that once I get these cuffs off of."

[akaluan]

Masterpost By Month: March 2018

Dragon Eclipse:

Karakura Crew Part 9 - Sado Yasutora (Tiger Cubs Ch10)

Meeting Ryuuken Part 1

Meeting Ryuuken Part 2

Tatsuki Requests Training Part 1

Tatsuki Requests Training Part 2

DE Side Story: Shiro Sews

Post DE: Relaxing Together Part 4

The ability to ‘see’ the heart of the enemy during combat

Kaito’s survivor’s guilt and consequences

Kaito and Ichigo both suffer from depression

Kaito AND Ichigo have issues, this is no surprise

There are times when Kaito Just Can’t, and that’s okay

Kaito learns to have fun, and Kisuke’s thoughts on seeing Kaito begin to mimic him

Ichigo specifically doesn’t want to front around Tatsuki

Ichigo doesn’t front around the other teens until a lot later

What if the teens get confirmation that Kurosaki is like Kaito’s dead best friend

World-hopper Kaito in a canon-style universe

Kaito enjoys the chance to be silly and explore himself

Shining Eclipse:

Kaito treads carefully with AU!Urahara, and tries to pull the teens into the man’s orbit more firmly

The first night of Kaito’s arrival is a bit... murdery

Lilacs from the Dead Land:

Lilacs basic concept (why muse, why)

Lilacs Fragment 1

Lilacs Fragment 2 (potential future fragment)

Lilacs Fragment 3 (potential future fragment)

First Spar between Erich and Kisuke

Kisuke realizes Erich can Actually Fly

On memory loss and Soul Society in general

On how Erich survived four decades in the Rukongai as a Quincy

Erich stays on the move during the first weeks in the Living World

‘Hide in Plain Sight’ is part of that survival

Erich thinks the teens are criminally undertrained and is completely unimpressed by nearly everyone in Karakura except the teens

Erich is absolutely unimpressed with people, and believes that dirty fighting is 100% fair play

Erich is an old fashioned mage, but “old fashioned” actually means “experienced war mage” here

Uryuu is almost entirely self-taught, and Erich sets out to fix that

Erich is wary of Kisuke, and Kisuke is fascinated by Erich

Kisuke learns how to mix magecraft and Shinigami arts, and Erich is... wary

On Erich relearning how to use a computational orb, modern version

Erich and his chosen weapons

Erich and Zanpakutou

Zanpakutou are PART of their wielder? Erich isn’t sure he likes this implication

Erich has experience with over-powered individuals with Unique Personalities

Erich is Not Impressed By Much

Erich accepts that Kisuke is worthy of some respect, and is utterly Done with the ‘undercover’ Shinigami

Erich trolls the Shinigami

As a military man, Seireitei offends Erich so badly

If Erich wanted to be, he would be a terrifying enemy for Seireitei

Erich is also So Done with everything to do with Shinigami, the Wandenreich, and would-be conquerors in general

Erich is Completely Unimpressed with the Wandenreich

You really think Mayuri is surviving this story?

Of course, this has consequences

Still, the best revenge is living well

“Erich vs the eldest shinigami 4: fight! -w”

Erich doesn’t particularly like the Vizard, either

Erich on the Vizards

Erich and Ryuuken and how little they get along

Ryuuken really doesn’t appreciate Erich’s presence

Quincy uniform? No thanks. (He’ll wear it for the Impact if he has to)

On why no one before Erich combined magecraft and spiritual energy manipulation

Family relationships and the loss of the Quincy Mage skill tree

Uryuu discovers his relation to Erich

Uryuu learns German to feel closer to Erich

Uryuu makes Erich his emergency contact

The teens track down images of WW1 Erich

Uryuu makes a photo album for Erich

Erich is Uryuu’s role model, and proof that Quincy abilities aren’t lesser or worthless

Erich and Uryuu form very similar friendship groups

Erich is dangerous when he cuts loose

The very start of Erich and Kisuke’s friendship, and Erich’s opinions on Quincy Pride

Erich and Kisuke are surprised by friendship

Erich has his Dark moments, and many regrets about his life

Erich trusts Kisuke enough to be drunk in front of him

The Evolution of Erich and Kisuke’s Relationship

Yoruichi squirms her way into Erich’s regard as well

Kisuke likes to troll, and Erich really can’t imagine himself in a relationship with the blond (yet)

Lilacs From the Dead Land: A Revelation

Erich and Kisuke’s relationship (Orihime thinks it’s AMAZING, the Shinigami disagree)

The Shinigami are NOT HAPPY with this romance, and Erich takes working with Kisuke easily in stride

Kisuke and consent issues

Kisuke Doesn’t Get People

Erich and relationships

Kisuke is a Troll to the teens re: his relationship with Erich

Erich hopes Tanya isn’t still hanging around as a spirit

Erich will eat basically anything edible, Yuzu isn’t okay with this and invites him and Uryuu to dinner all the time

Erich prefers tea to coffee

Discovery of Ichigo’s Quincy heritage

Uryuu finds out he’s related to Ichigo

Ichigo, Karin, and Yuzu consider Erich a parent

Erich doesn’t like how under-trained everyone is

(He is absolutely not adopting the kids. He is not.)

Orihime also like Erich as a parental figure

Things Erich likes about the Living World

Erich gets a job? Idk frankly

Erich does not like remaining idle

Potential hobbies Erich might have

Erich picks up clockwork as a hobby

Erich finds a hobby (fic version)

Erich likes to gift people things he’s worked on with his own hands

Disney movies are an unexpected interest of Erich’s

Erich’s favorite Disney movie

Culture shock isn’t unexpected, after coming back from the dead four decades later

Uryuu also experiences a version of culture shock, and Erich teaches the teens war

Modern magecraft and why mages aren’t as well known in Bleach

Further thoughts on magecraft in the modern era

Maybe this Uryuu has secretly wavy hair

On what the European Continent looks like to a spiritually active person after two world wars

Seeing Europe doesn’t do good things to the teens

Urahara does what he can in Europe, but it’s precious little

Erich forged his self-control in the crucible of war, and even now it’s difficult to let go

Minor Crack: Quincy enablers -- Ryuuken

Minor Crack: Quincy enablers -- Byakuya interacting with Ryuuken

Evil by Neglect verse:

The main theme of We’re Listening is Healing

As Worlds Overlap (Bleach/Log Horizon):

On potential guilds and whether the teens know each other ingame

Oneshots:

Bleach/Madoka crossover: Tatsuki contracts with Kyuubi

About the Bleach/Madoka crossover

Meta:

On Tanya and how she perceives the world

Tatsuki and Powers

Tatsuki and Powers 2 (maybe I’ll use these ideas? Still undecided)

Tatsuki and Powers 3

Opinion: Isshin is a worse parent than Ryuuken, but they both suck (cw: abuse, alcohol, bad parenting)

Opinion: fanon trope of Isshin urging the other teens to avoid Ichigo has a basis in real life actions of actual abusers (and I’m always salty about how that gap time is portrayed)

On non-shitty redemption arcs and Ryuuken

Original Fiction:

Luminous Flame verse: Defining Characters

Luminous Flame verse: Primary Setting

Luminous Flame verse/Selverat’s Story: Rat’s story is canon bc I’m a crossover geek, and Nekir has a shit family life too (but not as bad)

Selverat’s Story: genders, self-crossovers, and why do I always write shitty home lives for my chars, ugh

Selverat’s Story: elemental characters, bad home lives (WHY), cw: death, attempted murder of a child, death via being set on fire

Selverat’s Story: elemental characters with bad home lives

Selverat’s Story: traumatized kid becomes living torch via elemental powers because MIGHT AS WELL

Selverat’s Story: Learning from the Myrsilk

Selverat’s Story: No, his mother didn’t know who she was having an affair with

Selverat’s Story: Bad as his home life is, Selverat does love his mother and she does her best by him

Selverat’s Story: And I’m serious, his home life is Bad, cw: brief discussion of various ways Selverat’s ‘father’ tries to kill him

Selverat’s Story: Selverat doesn’t make many friends, but his best one does survive

[sorisanam]

Ichigo and ‘Protect’ is Not Special to Orihime. Ichigo Was not in ‘Debt’ to Rukia.

Ichigo felt the need to save Rukia -get hurt and die trying- because of what she did, not for who she is.

That’s fine. Do you see that as significant differentiation? Do you feel that had Rukia not risked her life for Ichigo, he would not have had significant emotional attachment/affection to her? Understandable.

False, but nonetheless, situationally understandable.

IchiHime and RenRuki fans are quick -’bitch, I got you!’ quick- when they think in this way.

Let me remind you that actions matter. ‘Doing,’ ‘done,’ ‘did’ matters. People are confusing action with the concept of ‘what he/she did [at a certain point in time]  created a relationship of ‘debt and further association’.’

Debt was never a true concept in Ichigo’s mind. He didn’t think of Rukia as a subpoena or someone he should pay back. He grew to love her and her presence very quickly.

‘Debt.’ Ha! With such an arbitrary nonsense approach to literature, what’s stopping me from saying Orihime would always have no more than a ‘his face is cute and funny’ schoolgirl crush if Ichigo hadn’t saved her life?

If you’re going to mishandle Occam’s Razor, nothing has meaning anymore. Every story turns into a blueprint that’s gone through too long a game of telephone.

But let’s not just use common sense, the tiniest bit of brain power, and the theory that the people vaguely understand the manga. No, let me not overestimate people, let me instead wave something shiny and spoon-feed this elementary concept to certain groups.

It’s impossible and stupid to say these women are given the same type of love and affection, but the theory of ‘not who they are, but what they did’ is a directly comparable point.

(By the by, wasting breath and spitting crap into the atmosphere is going to get some shippers a lung infection. I suggest a prescription of stopping the ridiculous notion that Ichigo and Rukia have a mother-son relationship).

(And just so we cover fandom-promoted make-believe bases: Ichigo’s teacher? Urahara Kisuke. (X) (X). You don’t get to use the mentor-student angle either).

“I want to protect mom. Mom, who always protects me.”

Ichigo wants to protect mom because of her protection of him. …Debt? No! Ichigo is the “speaking is not communication” guy remember? Learn the life-skill of identifying words from action (,thought, and feelings).

When Ichigo first felt the call to protect, he didn’t have the mental capacity or life experience to differentiate person from action. Does it mean his love is confounded or out of debt?

Negative. He loves his mother, she is his number one.

Fast forward, enter Rukia. Rukia; someone he does have the capacity and experience to realize person from action.

‘Debt’ is not debt. It’s an excuse, one not original or solely pertaining to Ichigo.

Some things should be known as truth without my needing to speak on it’s behalf, but I guess I’ll have to do it anyway.

Sado says, ‘I’m not close enough to Rukia to want to risk my life for her. But Ichigo is, Ichigo wants to, so I will.” (X).

Uryu says, “Ichigo wants to rescue her by himself. He’d probably be pissed if anyone else does it for him…I should do it myself! *cue gleeful cackle*” (X).

Renji asks, “Why do you want to save Rukia so bad?” (X).

Ichigo says, “I remember now, why I wanted to save you so much.” (X).

Evidence, allegories, and still, I can see where the difference in perspective plays in.

‘Protect’ seems to be the key word and this moment:

–is upper-echelon evidence to those hateful of IchiRuki. It’s what Rukia did vs. Orihime as a person. It’s debt vs. desire. It’s platonic vs. romantic.

Fine, fine. ‘Protect.’

But again.

He want to protect his mom.

He wants to protect his mountain load.

Rukia doesn’t want his protection.

I came to protect you. 

Tell me–is it the ‘vow’ aspect that’s so special? So telling? So defining? So breathtakingly romantic?

Okay. I’ll bite.

…Sado got a vow from Ichigo as well. The brothers fight for each other. They have each-others backs, one constant source of protection always. Sado wants to protect Ichigo same as -likely more than- Orihime ever wanted to. Sado fights only for Ichigo and for what Ichigo fights for. Orihime has no such solidarity of purpose (never forget her powers were unleashed and acted upon for the interest of Tatsuki’s well-being). (X).

Okay, but who else wanted to protect Ichigo as much as Orihime has? The next layer of the ‘bitch, I got you!’ contingency plan.

(And, by the way you can’t say something and say the opposite thing at the same time.’Rukia isn’t important because Ichigo only cares for what she did. But also, Orihime is important because look at what she tries to do for him).

Well…

Ishida Uryu went to kill himself to protect Ichigo’s life three times.Once for his life. Once for his humanity. Once trying to get him home from the war. (X) (X) (X).

Yasutora Sado aligned his will to fight to Ichigo’s. Sado all but died twice and would have laid his life down a million times over. Once in Soul Society against Shunsui Kyoraku. Once in Hueco Mundo against Gantenbainne Mosqueda.

Renji vowed to carry Ichigo on his back if Ichigo ever fell too low to climb back up. He also swore he would remain by Ichigo’s side, as his friend, even in health, until Ichigo’s last breath. He already fights by Ichigo’s side no matter what, does anyone doubt it will continue this way till death (do they part)? (X) (X).

Nel, anybody? She truly loves Ichigo a lot. She gave herself to death with the mentality of a child and the maturity of an adult. (X) (X).

Mom, who always protects me. Who died protecting her only son. (X). (X).

Do I even mention Rukia? Do I mention Rukia saving his life and his family? Do I mention her putting her life on the line again for Karin and Sado to give Ichigo peace of mind? Do I mention Rukia pushing Ichigo out of Sora’s (Acid-wire at the time) way? Do I mention Rukia going to kill herself at Soul Society for his sake? Do I mention Rukia saving Ichigo from Grimmjow? Do I mention taking on Rudbornn in his stead? Do I mention Rukia throwing herself in front of Tsukishima?

Hopefully you’ve opened those links, recalled those memories, and discovered a common thread.

Ishida says “I’ll help you because if you die it’s all my fault. Today I saved a shinigami, can you forgive me master?”

Sado says “You do this for me and I do this for you.”

Renji says “I’ll carry you because you have brought me back to my friend.”

Nel says “I’ll pay you back.”

Ichigo says “I’ll protect the mother who always protects me.”

Ichigo says “I didn’t say I want to save her, I said I have to!”

Even Orihime has said “I wanted to protect you this time. It’s always your shoulders this lands on…. Why did I depend on you to save me again?”

Are you going to tell me she does it for the pure burden she feels she puts on Ichigo? If you’re going to be so stupid, do it in full, not just against Rukia.

Y’all realize that even Orihime -the only character who arguable doesn’t shield her emotions in an impenetrable fortress- doesn’t share her true emotions a lot. Her kind, “sensitive” nature is not to be mistaken for open feelings.

‘Debt’ is not debt. ‘Debt’ is an excuse. ‘Debt’ is ‘I’m fond of you, I love you, I want to protect you because you are you.’

‘Debt’ is not a special sentiment. ‘Protect’ is not a special vow. But you know where you can find the difference that makes it special? In the moments Ichigo fails to protect and how those moments resonate with him.

There’s an order and a clear distinction. There are moments that hurt Ichigo and there are Rukia and Masaki.

Every other moment of great pain is jumbled together, it’s a generality. It’s an instance of looking back at your life and feeling the things you’ve gone through in flashes. Ichigo has been through some kind of shit, folks.

All other memories are flashes…but we always get a pause at certain moments of Rukia and Masaki. It’s never deluded, never pushed into other moments, never understated.Those two moments are brought up again and again and again.

Yes, the kid has been through a lot; but Rukia and Masaki are next level, they are his complete scope of pain, his experiential definition.That’s where the rain, that’s where the significance of the rain comes from.

Look at the other moments -they suck, they make you miserable if you love Ichigo (and we all fucking do) - but there isn’t much rain.

And that’s not all.

There’s always a differentiation. Rukia, Orihime, Uryu….Rukia. Ichigo and Rukia. Rukia being taken away. The memory is not of Renji’s face, it’s not Byakuya’s face. To my recollection, there has never been a flashback of that moment where Byakuya or Renji, the opponents, were shown.

This is important to note because Ichigo was talking about battle. Battles that he remembered, battles that were personal because they involved people he cared/now cares about a great deal. He is so mad at Aizen because he knows those battles are Aizen’s fault. Naturally, Ichigo wouldn’t have had to endure that if it wasn’t for the prick with faux glasses.

The commonality of this page is that all is that the faces shown were  faces of opponents (even in the first instance with Rukia’s bloody and bruised face, Shrieker was there).

The commonalty stays true until the last memory. Rukia isn’t an opponent, Ichigo isn’t an opponent. Ichigo didn’t remember himself in the other memories. But in the last one, it’s just Rukia and Ichigo. Opponents don’t matter, wounds don’t matter, the only thing that does matter is who he lost in that battle.

That’s pretty unique to Ichigo. We have so many flashbacks of opponents when he thinks about old battles/lessons/memories (even if the opponents are his friends at the present). Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Uryu, Aizen, etc.

Never in this moment are we shown Ichigo concerned with anything other than Rukia. That’s fucking rare. That’s a difference.

His two most painful, life altering memories are of his mother (don’t feel like I need to further expand there) and his Rukia. That tells me a lot about who the most important women in Ichigo’s life are. Have whatever interpretation you want, I’ll stick to the manga.

Wait, there’s more! Here’s the kicker! The kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck fantastic aspect of it all. They are the two pillars, these are the two moments, that lift him up the most. They are the only distinct reasons as to why Ichigo feels he can conquer the fear and pain Yhwach threatens him with.

You see the other moments are obviously sad but you can’t easily identify what the moments are. Rukia and Masaki? Yeah, everybody knows those two. You can’t devalue that.

Um, and you know the place certain shippers claim Ichigo doesn’t really belong to?

Can’t devalue that either. Those ugly Shinigami certainly seem to care for and love the boy. Please don’t misunderstand this. Ichigo has so much more love for him than Orihime. She is not the first, she is not the only one to ‘truly’ love Ichigo.

When you completely delegitimize a relationship to build another -when the mass majority of people with the same interests believe and defend the same- you are free for interpretation of mistruths without impunity.

But, falsely stated, not every interpretation or opinion is true or legitimate. Not in generality, not for debate’s sake. Facts, instances, situations, character traits, propriety or there lack of in the literary piece, etc. all factor in when you speak of something outside your own scope of likes and dislikes.

Here’s something lot’s of people seem to want to forget.

Ichigo was eager to get Rukia back.

He missed her smile.

They had a reunion and a moment at the end of ‘saving each other.’ Saving EACH OTHER.

There are two distinct images of Ichigo when he saves Rukia and later when he saves Orihime.

Only one of those moments does Ichigo looks back on with pride (one Rukia can remember with a smile). You see hero. You see protector. You see the man Ichigo likes to be.

Again, pretending there were latent feelings of protection in the hollow is made-up from a proven incorrect translation.

Read this, I don’t feel like explaining it again.

Ichigo wasn’t shown to be eager to get Orihime back, getting her back wasn’t his only goal, he didn’t have an all-consuming moment with her, his purpose of ‘rescue’ was confounded many times, and she wasn’t (their reunion wasn’t) the climax of her arc (I bring up the Hueco Mundo arc because that’s when IH shippers claim crush (for both) turns into love).

Kubo doesn’t full circle -> full development much (including Ichigo and Orihime), but that grace is always given to IchiRuki.

The only closure of the ‘IchiHime’ relationship belonged to only one person of the ship; Orihime. At the end, she finally got to fight with Ichigo; her own personal growth and personal achievement of goal (not a mutually shared desire).

Ichigo didn’t show care (not to say he didn’t care) for how Orihime might be doing emotionally. With Rukia, Ichigo said he’d make Byakuya cry on his knees apologizing for how he made Rukia feel, told Urahara he’d better apologize to Rukia (even if Ichigo knew she would have replied the same way he did), and told Byakuya to kindly shut his mouth and never say certain words in front of Rukia again.

What’s more, Rukia was shown to have done something for Ichigo that no one could do. She dried his rain.

It’s brought up again and again, by not only the IR fandom, but by Ichigo and Kubo, because that only moment is important as hell and belongs uniquely to only one relationship in the story.

Ichigo acknowledges, appreciates and values that aspect of his relationship to Rukia with a whole heart. That’s not a fandom making up crap and calling it ‘latent feelings.’ It’s present and obvious, acted upon and not assumed.

Ichigo and Rukia always do each other a positive. That’s your difference. And I’ve only mentioned 2 aspects of their relationship.

That “I will protect you next time” vow should have have been brought up many times (like Ichigo losing Rukia in the rain and failing to protect her like he wanted to) for the moment to have been specially romantic (like IH shippers claim) and top-tier significant. One hit, boom, a vow not only pertaining to Orihime, and then move on does not place her on a different or romantic level to Ichigo.

She’s precious, but she’s not the only one.

We were never given revelation nor suggestion that Orihime did anything unique (the sort of unique where you can’t give this thing/action/happening to any other character or relationship) to Ichigo. Of course, she’s Orihime and Ichigo doesn’t have and doesn’t want another Orihime. She. Is. Special.

But for so much talk about romance and uniqueness in relationship. For post after post preaching how those two feel such inflamed passion and share so many things only between themselves and how their little nuances align the planets…you’d think it would be at least a little true.

All that uniqueness and inflamed passion and understanding is present, but not with the ship IH fans would believe.

[uraharasandals]

YO just wanted to ask who ur fave bleach characters are! I like Toushiro the most, but Karin and Momo grew on me after my recent Bleach binge!

HEY I LOVE THIS QUESTION thanks for giving me chance to ramble about my favourite characters *insert maniac laughter*

URAHARA KISUKE

So as you can see from my URL I obviously love Urahara Kisuke!! He’s such a complex character and I guess I have a thing for Miki Shinichirou because his voice is *chef’s kiss* In the beginning we don’t really think much of him - he’s like the sensei character that almost every anime has that guides the main character (Ichigo). And in the context of an (what seems to be in the beginning) urban fantasy it’s not very jarring to have some random guy appear, and I love how he stands out subtly while also fitting in at the same time. His outfit and entire get up as well - a guy who wears geta with a bucket hat and haori is perfectly normal in Japan, and it actually looks cool on him. He looks like a normal guy and that's what fucks with the audience.

And then you go forward and realise he's a wacky character. He lives with a very hot woman who transforms herself into an equally stunning cat, the definition of a himbo presenting genius, and two kids. Seems like a dysfunctional found family dynamic that would come out of a sitcom, doesn't it? OH BUT WAIT it actually is one!! And these people are actually very fucking powerful!! Why the hell does this man have so much shit lying around?? Is he strong or something?

It's not until the swing back the pendulum arc that we find out he is, in fact, a very strong guy™. I love how little character development Kisuke gets in terms of his personality - most of the central character gets a major revamp; a lot of the Gotei 13 captains either get a reality check on their personalities (Soifon, Byakuya, Hitsugaya etc.) or they decide to go completely fuck it (looking at you, betrayal trio). The ones who don't are 'mentor'-like characters, the ones who are old and mature enough that something like a guy upending the very principles of Soul Society wouldn't affect them very much. Because Kisuke is one of those older characters, he doesn't need a personality change, but also the fact that he hasn't changed much from 100 years ago is very in character for him - or so we thought.

The fact is Kisuke actually very much did get a character change - to be more precise, a change of principles. 100 years ago, his morals are more clearly defined than the present. Sure, he recruits his employees from the Maggot's Nest, but he also tried to defend his innocence against Central 46 and was adamant to do so until Yoruichi broke in and kicked ass. He also struggled with saving Hiyori during that fateful night. This is obviously a part of his personality that points to adhering to the side of caution - which is in line with his entire personality; Kisuke is very much someone who doesn't do anything unnecessary, someone who puts on a friendly mask to exist because giving in to those deeper desires requires compromise. So he doesn't - he doesn't because that's the path that allows everyone to accept him and allows him to slip under the radar. He doesn't want to stand out, you see? And that's what makes him so endearing - everyone is running around playing hero or captain and he just,,,wants to chill in his dysfunctional family and makes stuff. Even though he stops deliberating on the means of how he does things in the present (e.g. Playing dirty in all the battles he's part of, casualties not being his priority in his plans etc.), that sense of wanting to fade into the background is still very much there (I.e. that conversation with Aizen when he's being sealed away).

And that makes him so frustrating to see at times, but also a very multi-faceted character!! Because under ordinary circumstances, anyone would want to stand out, especially when you have such talent and intellect as Urahara Kisuke. Yoruichi even berates him for this - when she nominated him for the 12th Division, he didn't want it and she tells him to shut up. It's interesting how well this aspect of him was written, and I really like the portrayal of his character.

Not to mention his zanpakutou - she intrigues me so fucking much?? There's an analysis of Benihime with Urahara's character that really tackles his personality and it just clicked for me (I'll reblog it someday) but basically there's a sense of masochistic tendency to punish himself and to hide his genius away. And you have to wonder - why does this man do this? What kind of past did he have? Kubo really has to write this because it's literally a crime to leave us hanging like this.

And of course, the fact that he's so fucking queer coded. I can't really elaborate on this because there's no one aspect that signals that to me, but I'm sure queer people understands this - his character is one that doesn't have traditional values of masculinity attached (100 years ago even Shinji, who had long hair, would have a stronger sense of 'traditional' masculinity attached to him, I'd argue) and yet he's still very powerful.

Overall I'd say his intelligence and character design and personality is what makes me love him so much!! And the fact that he treads the thin line between seriousness and humour, being the mentor and the clown/fool. At the end of the day Urahara is the only one who doesn't take himself seriously. And that's very fascinating.

SHIHOUIN YORUICHI

Slightly less like an essay now, largely because I haven't delved into the manga yet so I don't know the back story and more intensities of other characters, esp Yoruichi.

Anyways first thing and reason is that she's hot. She's insanely hot and I appreciate that we got the ponytail on her rather than a female character who's either a tsundere or has a big chest. Yoruichi is able to make her fully clothed self look even more appealing than when she's half naked, which is an absolute shame that Kubo decided to go with that design afterwards. And the fact that she's able to turn into a cat?? Something that was somehow sidelined after her human form was revealed?? Very very rude.

I also love how she subverts expectations. She's a noble, but she's not prim nor proper, and the one time we see her acting like one is that procession in Soifon's flashback. She's a woman, and yet arguably one of the best fighters in the entire series. Unlike a lot of stereotypical female characters, Yoruichi doesn't just use kicks - she throws hard punches and slaps when she needs to, and uses her entire body. I really love the fluidity of her design that Kubo shows because it makes her so beautiful - and it just combines violence and beauty so well??

Yoruichi also doesn't really give a shit about social conventions either, and that in such a socially stratifying society like Soul Society (too many s's) is so attractive - especially since she's a noble because honestly, what can they do? It's this boldness and rebellion that draws me to her.

And again, her being very queer-coded. I love simping over characters who could very much be queer but aren't written as such - your loss, Kubo, really.

HIRAKO SHINJI

This toothy grinning bastard has captured my attention for some godforsaken reason and I can't figure out why?? Maybe it's his Kansai accent. Maybe it's the fact that his character design is so unconventional and things that normally shouldn't go together did come together and ends up depositing this man onto my lap. It's a strange feeling but Hirako Shinji is definitely up there.

(but also I love myself some long haired men. Why didn't he grow it out again in the TYWB. Why did he get a fucking cravet instead. Go back to the long hair Shinji)

Other characters I love but don't want to write an essay on (yet): Ishida Uryuu, Yadomaru Lisa, Otoribashi Rose, Kyoraku Shunsui, Coyote Starrk, Shutara Senjumaru, Ayasegawa Yumichika (also Shihouin Chika and Saitou Furoufushi, of course)

Please tell me more about your blurbos!! I'm very intrigued on why you love them

[zephfair]

Day 14 Grimmichi ficlet Crack

Day 14: Grim Reaper AU

Grimmjow dies and sees the Grim Reaper. He’s really hot actually. Or Grimmjow thinks he dies and sees Ichigo instead.

Rated: T for language and kissing?

Pairing: Grimmjow/Ichigo. Urahara and Tessai have brief speaking roles.

Have another bonus trope: Crack fic, and the dude is drugged-up so he tells his true feelings. Er, he’s not drugged up ON crack.This is dedicated to all those videos of people coming out of anesthesia and doing dopey things. That has never been my personal experience.

Warning: There is a scene of drunken/drugged harassment where the character not in his right mind kisses another character without explicit consent.

When Ichigo got the message: 911! Emergency! SOS! from Urahara’s shop, he really didn’t want to answer. Not even if it ended the world today, Ichigo was not leaving his part-time job again for no good reason.

Then the second text contained the magic word: It’s Grimmjow.

Ichigo made up an excuse about needing the bathroom and suddenly getting very ill—hey, it worked in high school—and ran all the way to the store.

“What is it? Where is he? What happened?”

For facing such a universe-altering crisis that would call for Ichigo’s intervention, Urahara was noticeably and suspiciously calm. He sat sipping tea with Tessai.

“Ah, Ichigo, so good of you to come.”

Ichigo did not flip the table. Instead he ground his teeth and said, “What. Happened. To. Grimmjow.”

“It’s something that must be seen to be understood,” Urahara lifted Benihime and popped Ichigo’s Shinigami form out of his body. Tessai slid over to neatly catch it and gently lay it down.

“You might appreciate the strength. Just in case.” And now Ichigo wasn’t more worried at all.

“Just tell me what’s going on!”

“He’s in the room at the end of the hall.” When Ichigo turned, Urahara suggested, “You might be careful. Watch yourself.”

And that wasn’t distressing in the least. Ichigo burst through the door of the room at a run, trying to look every which way at once, desperate to know what was going on.

Grimmjow’s gigai was lying on the bed, the only piece of furniture in the room. Ichigo stepped over and scanned him for visible injuries.

Grimmjow’s eyes were slow to open when Ichigo roughly shook his shoulder and called his name. Then Grimmjow blinked, once, twice and his eyes almost crossed as he stared up at Ichigo.

“Holy shit, you’re hot!”

“Grimmjow?”

“Like really, really hot! Wow!”

“Grimmjow, what’s going on? What’s wrong with you?”

Grimmjow blinked very slowly. “I don’t know. Is there something wrong?”

“I don’t know. Is there?”

“I don’t know. Is there?”

Ichigo shook him again. “Stop that!”

“Stop what?”

“Stop repeating everything I say!”

“OK. You’re even hotter up close!”

Ichigo pushed him back against the pillows where he sagged. “And stop that!”

“OK. But you’re hot! Who are you again?”

Ichigo’s anger skidded to a stop. “What?”

“No. Who?”

“No,” Ichigo said slowly, leaning down closer to Grimmjow’s face. “Do you know who I am?”

“Noooo,” Grimmjow drawled the word then smiled brightly up at Ichigo. It was the most disconcerting expression Ichigo had ever seen on Grimmjow’s face, and it showed way too many teeth. “I don’t know who you are, but I sure would love to. Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Oh my god, were you hit in the head? Do you have brain damage?” Ichigo tried to hold his chin steady while checking his pupil dilation but Grimmjow kept jerking away. “Hold still! Let me check your eyes!”

“Oh, OK. Then I can look at your pretty eyes too.” Grimmjow held stone still, the only movement his eyes as they flickered from Ichigo’s left to right then back again. He smiled and said, “You’re so pretty. And hot. Do you think it’s hot in here? I feel very hot. But not as hot as you.”

“Urahara has a lot to answer for,” Ichigo vowed and let go of Grimmjow who pouted.

“Keep touching me. It feels good.”

“You. Just. Wait here,” Ichigo all but flew out the door and back down the hall to crash the tea party.

“What the ever-loving fuck is wrong with him? How’d he get hurt?”

“He’s not hurt.”

“Did something hit him in the head? He could have a concussion or a brain injury!”

Urahara indicated the negative with a wave of his hand. “Nothing so fatal or serious. It appears that he’s having a particularly interesting and severe reaction to Nepeta cataria.”

“What the hell’s that?”

Urahara popped open his fan and looked over it with his big eyes showing nothing but misbegotten innocence. “It’s commonly called catnip.”

“Oh my god.” Ichigo slapped his own face in the hardest facepalm ever. “Why did you give that to him?”

“It wasn’t on purpose. He ate it accidentally.” Tessai cleared his throat and Urahara clarified. “Well not exactly. We offered it to him. But only for experimental research. I never imagined it would have such an … interesting effect.”

“You never imagined...why do you insist on ruining my life like this?!”

“Oh Ichigo, always so dramatic!”

“You know what, never mind. I don’t need to stand here and bitch at you because as soon as Grimmjow sobers up or comes down or whatever, he’ll take care of all that for me. In fact, you might want to leave now, get a good running head start because he will be pissed when he sees how he’s acting,” Ichigo said.

Urahara suddenly looked a little unsure. “Ah, but how will he know what he’s said or done? He may have no memory after it wears off.”

“Oh, he’ll know,” and Ichigo whipped out his cell phone from his body’s jeans, “because I am taking video of that shit and keeping it for posterity. I’ll make sure he sees every second along with every other person who’s ever met him. This is gold.”

“Er. I think I have to step out. For a while. Don’t bother keeping the tea warm.” In a whirl, Urahara was gone with only Tessai to stare down in judgment at Ichigo.

“Do you think it’s wise?” Tessai finally said.

“To get back at Urahara, yes.”

“To take video,” Tessai clarified.

“I’m not sending it to Hueco Mundo’s Funniest Home Videos,” Ichigo snapped. “I’ll keep it purely for personal reasons. And blackmail.”

Tessai didn’t respond so Ichigo went back to Grimmjow’s room and crept back in. Grimmjow was lying rigid as a board, only his eyes moving and rolling.

“Hey, Grimmjow, you doing all right?”

“Who are you?” he asked, his voice now a lot less happy and confident.

“It’s me, Ichigo.”

“What are you?” Grimmjow stared without blinking at Ichigo’s chest and then lower.

“I’m a Shinigami.”

His brows wrinkled. “You’re the God of Death? Oh no. I’m dead. You’re the Grim Reaper.”

Ichigo tried to hold his cell phone at the best height for filming. “No, I’m not but keep going.”

“Where’s your scythe?”

“My what?”

“The Grim Reaper, all in black, scythe for reaping souls. You’ve come for me.” Grimmjow’s voice actually sounded a little shaky. Then he looked up at Ichigo again. “At least you’re a lot better looking than I imagined.”

“Why do you keep saying that?” Ichigo sighed, making a mental note to cut that out of the recording.

“Because you are. Really hot. Hey, tell me, does the Grim Reaper ever get it on? Or...” Grimmjow wrinkled his nose. “Is that necrophilia? To do it with the Grim Reaper? Oh well, I’m dead so it doesn’t matter.” He beamed up at Ichigo. Fucking beamed.

“Oh my god, this is getting weird even for me,” Ichigo muttered and turned only to freeze when Grimmjow’s hand grabbed his wrist with frantic strength.

“Wait, don’t go! Take me with you!”

“Uh, no,” Ichigo managed to pull free and inch toward the door.

“But I’m dead and I wanna go with you, sexy Grim Reaper!”

Ichigo turned off his phone and blushed. “That wasn’t what I was expecting. Get some rest.”

He stepped out and shut the door. “I want you, Grim Reaper! Don’t leave me alone!” came the yell from the room behind him and Ichigo hurried back to find Tessai.

“What is wrong with him?!”

“Kisuke told you, the catnip—”

“No, I mean, he’s acting different than he was just a few minutes ago.”

“Catnip can take a feline in several different ways.”

“What ways?”

“Have you never seen videos on the Youtube?”

Ichigo didn’t know which was stranger—the name Tessai gave it or that fact that he actually watched Youtube.

“How much catnip did he take?”

“All of it.”

“Oh shit.”

Tessai looked to both sides of him and then leaned down to Ichigo. “It was Yoruichi’s special blend.”

“Oh shit,” Ichigo whispered. “Somehow that makes it even worse. Who knows what she did to it.”

Tessai’s glasses glinted and his lips tightened even more. “I know what she used to do on it. With Kisuke.”

“Oh shit,” now Ichigo was definitely slightly nauseous. “I did NOT need to know that. But you don’t think—”

“Again, every feline will be different. Some grow very lethargic, some become hyper. Some ...” Tessai shrugged.

“OK,” Ichigo steeled himself. “Give me a glass of water, I’m going back in.”

Ichigo held the glass of water up like a shield, still not sure if he’d end up helping Grimmjow drink it or throw it in his face.

He almost dumped it over his own head at the scene that greeted him. Grimmjow: sprawled out on the bed, shirt off, jeans unbuttoned, pupils fully dilated, leer firmly in place.

“Oh for the love of— put your shirt back on!”

“Sexy! You’re back!”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“No! Bad...Grimmjow.”

Grimmjow suddenly rolled to his hands and knees and looked up at Ichigo. “Do you have a boyfriend? Is that it? Doesn’t matter; I’ll kill him for you.”

“No, that’s not… Stop that!” Ichigo pushed his hand on Grimmjow’s face as he crawled down the bed to where Ichigo stood.

“Don’t wanna stop. Wanna—” Grimmjow wriggled his bottom and pounced.

Ichigo grunted when Grimmjow’s full weight hit his chest and knocked him backward onto the floor. Then he licked up Ichigo’s throat.

“Stoooop,” Ichigo squirmed and wriggled, trying to get out from under the very hot, very naked, very hard-muscled chest that rubbed against him.

“Noooooo,” Grimmjow replied and licked him again, nuzzling behind his ear and licking there too. Then he sat straight up, right across Ichigo’s very interested groin. “Come on, sexy Grim Reaper, fuck me.”

“No,” Ichigo said firmly and when Grimmjow started to swivel his hips, he bopped his nose with a finger. “No!”

Grimmjow growled and bent down to start laving kisses all over Ichigo’s face.

“Ugh, stop, no,” Ichigo kept moving his head but it only seemed to spur Grimmjow on. “Grimmjow, we need to talk about this! You would never do this in your right mind!”

Grimmjow just hmmed happily and licked Ichigo’s lips, and Ichigo told himself he only opened his mouth to yell again but instead of sputtering, he kissed Grimmjow back. Then he nearly sprained his neck wrenching his mouth away.

“No, bad Grimmjow. Stop it!”

“Why?” Grimmjow all but whined. “Why won’t you kill me and take me with you?”

“What?” Ichigo kept his hand firmly on Grimmjow’s face to keep him at a little distance.

“I want you, Grim Reaper. Take me.”

“Oh for heaven’s sake, I’m not… fine, yes, I’ll kill you,” Ichigo said flatly and Grimmjow beamed. “And I’ll take you with me back to my Grim Reaper house.”

“Yay!” Grimmjow’s grin somehow grew bigger and then he just slowly toppled over, falling onto the floor at Ichigo’s side. Ichigo rolled over quickly to check him. His eyes were still dilated and he still had a grin on his face.

Ichigo leaned over and Grimmjow slowly extended one hand and batted at his face, gently.

“Come on, let’s get you back on the bed.”

“With you?”

“No, I think you need to sleep this off.” Ichigo pulled and tugged him to sit, Grimmjow somehow going boneless and heavy all at the same time. Then he heaved and hauled to get Grimmjow onto the bed where he lolled, silly grin still in place.

Ichigo sat down on the edge of the bed to catch his breath. “You still feeling good?” he asked.

“Yeah. But you know what would feel better?”

“Nooo.” The bed bounced a little as Grimmjow scooted toward Ichigo and butted at his hand until Ichigo ran it through his hair. Then he curled up his head and shoulders on Ichigo’s lap, shut his eyes and purred.

From the door, Tessai watched the screen of the cell phone to make sure it was all recording. It was a legend that the Grim Reaper had a soft spot for cats, and now he believed it.*

Until Grimmjow sobered up the next day and all hell broke loose. Urahara found excuses to be away for weeks. It finally gave Grimmjow and Ichigo the balls to confess to each other, well, to be fighting one second then kissing the next, and Grimmjow said you wanna? And Ichigo said Yeah. And Grimmjow said I think you’re hot and Ichigo said I know you do. And they fought again. And kissed a lot more.

The end

*This bit of legend is actually taken from Discworld by Terry Pratchett. Those genius works often feature DEATH who truly does like cats.

[writingwithryder]

Sake 101

“Oh god, I need a drink”

Day #2: A Rare Pair [Shiori/Kumiko BroTP]

With Ikkaku’s wooden sparring sword in her hand she watches Renji attempt Bakudo #9 while still in bankai form, but his focus slips and the spell backfires, sending him flying backwards into Shiori’s waiting grasp. “Idiot.” Dropping him without ceremony, there’s a loud twap that accompanies the wooden sword hitting the back of his head, “Geki requires all of your focus when you’re first learning it, fool. Any wavering of your focus will cause it to send you flying.” By the end of her lecture he was standing at full height again, making Shiori crane her neck up to continue glaring at him. “Take your stance again and focus this time!”

Grumbling as he took his stance once again, “You were much more nurturing and caring as a teacher--” Another twap echoed against the walls of Kisuke’s underground ‘training room’ and Renji staggered as he grumbled again before shifting back into his stance. “Bakudo #9 Geki” the intent was there, but his focus was still divided, making the Bakudo weaker than it should have been, not able to bind anything, especially not something as large as the training dummy in front of them. Her eye twitched, it had been a week and this boy was no closer to mastering Bakudo in any sort of meaningful way. The sword connected with the back of his head again, and he fell back to his knees once more, “Captain Nakano is a real bitch.”

Miming his words while glaring at him as he rose once again she sighed and leaned against the rock formation behind them, “I wouldn’t need to be a bitch if you just focused on what you were doing instead of whatever it is that you seem to be dwelling on.” An exasperated sigh leaves her as she kicks off from the rocks, dragging the sword lifelessly behind her, “Oh god, I need a drink.” It came out as a groan as she headed towards a rock formation about fifty meters away -- her other student should be finished with training right about now, “Kumiko! Are you done up there? I need a drinking buddy and Renji is miserable again,” the red headed man gave her a ‘you made me miserable’ look which she ignored and continued, “anyway, you’ve probably reached your limit for today and should come down before you burn out or hurt yourself or the training materials.”

There was a skittering of rocks and debris before a lithe teenage form appeared in front of them, “Yeah, yeah alright.” Shiori smiled, at least she didn’t have to twist the woman’s arm to get her to finish for the day -- although she’s certain the promise of alcohol had something to do with it, “Did the Punk Ass Bitch manage to make any progress today?” They both laughed at her question with Renji scowling in the background, the three of them made their way over to the pile of pillows and blankets, flash stepping into the back of Urahara’s shop Shiori grabbed her bottles of sake and glasses for everyone before reappearing lounged on the pillows.

Handing out glasses and pouring sake the three of them begin drinking in an almost comfortable silence; all of the kids have been training ridiculously hard over the past two weeks, and as much as she enjoys giving Renji shit he has improved since they started. Kumiko’s skills have refined exponentially since then; it’s been like honing a knife with a whetstone, sharpening her skill more and more each day. Another glass of sake was poured and then Chad came over and Shiori offered him a glass, “You know Kumiko is underage, right?”

Shiori and Kumiko both roll their eyes at that and groan, “C’mon Chad, I’m technically of age everywhere but here and in the US, besides we’re in some freaking Soul Reaper underground training bunker, and being underage is what you’re worried about.” Kumiko let out a loud sigh and collapsed against the pillows, “WE FOUGHT PEOPLE, CHAD! PEOPLE WITH SWORDS! AND MONSTERS! The least I can do is drink my troubles away.”

Shiori giggles at the young woman’s response, “I mean, that’s just a regular Tuesday in my book. The academy students are all monsters -- ranked officers? Even worse.” She groans and turns to bury her face into the pillows, she wants nothing more than a long nap, a long uninterrupted deep sleep nap surrounded by pillows and blankets. Chad didn’t take a glass, he did however sit on the blankets with everyone; striking up a conversation with Kumiko while Shiori was still moping around in the blankets.

Kumiko’s hand slammed into her stomach, making her grunt and glare at the young woman in front of her, “You falling asleep on me old woman?” Sitting up she quickly downs her glass of sake and poured herself another without breaking eye contact. She’s such a brat, and Shiori is certain that she will do everything in her power to protect her.

Yawning loudly she stretches and makes a face at the three kids sitting on the quilt around her, “Long hard day of training you fools? A nap is the least I deserve.” Shifting so her legs are on top of Kumiko’s she rests her head on Renji’s shoulder, giving both of them a mocking look before pouring everyone another glass of sake after once again offering Chad another glass only to be turned down once again, “C’mon Chad” Shiori whined, “What is it that you humans say today? One can only die in a singular moment?”

Kumkio snorted, “I think you mean, you only die once grandma.” Shiori turned to roll her eyes at her only to be met with a sharp smack to her thigh and Kumiko sticking her tongue out at her. Shiori’s been dead for too long to put up with this; shifting so that she’s staring at the ceiling or sky or whatever it is her thoughts are interrupted by Kumiko directing a question at her, “Who runs the whole thing? Soul Society, I mean?” Shiori grunted and sat up, pouring everyone another glass of sake while she attempted to gather her thoughts on the matter -- why couldn’t these questions ever be fun?

Taking another sip of her drink she began, “So. Think of the Soul Society like a tiered cake. So at the bottom tier you have your basic soul reapers, members of the Thirteen Divisions that aren’t powerful enough for a seat -- it’s like this solid vanilla layer, nothing exciting but you know that it’s gonna be alright. The next layer on top of them are the seated officers, twenty through 3, they’re more powerful and usually given control of squads for missions within and without the Soul Society -- sort of like a cake that has some sort of berry or ganache inside or something…” Damn she was making herself hungry -- maybe there’s some sort of bakery open at this hour… Right. She needed to finish this description, “Then there’s the two layers of Lieutenants and Captains, they’re fancier on the outside and maybe a little better on the inside but you know, it’s all really the same. The Head Captain gets his own tier though, it’s filled with his two thousand year old sense of morality and better than everyone else-ness -- it’s a stupid too decadent chocolate cake that nobody can stand but you have to appreciate it. He is in charge of everyone in the Thirteen Divisions after all. Above him? There’s Central 46, they’re like the judge, jury and executioner tier of everything in the Soul Society -- it’s some stupid super fancy flavor that no one has ever tried but is curious about it. The only one above them is the Soul King and his Royal Guard -- they get a fancy cake topper with a crown or something.” Taking another long drink she waits for her nonsense to kick in, “Make sense?”

Kumiko snorted, “Absolutely not. Just how drunk are you?” Shiori giggled and shrugged.

No one would ever know.

[cheshiresense]

Out of curiosity, and because you've mentioned it before: how do you think a friendship between ichigo and aizen would go down? *tosses in a time travel bit, just in case, because why not?*

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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. In general, I’m not a huge fan of Ichigo & Aizen interaction unless Aizen’s just there to fill the enemy role. It’s not like I hate it, it’s just I’m usually not interested in it.

But.

Let’s say Yhwach wins. Soul Society is destroyed. Most people are dead. All that good-bad stuff. Ichigo gets sent back. Along with Aizen. They’re basically the only two powerhouses left, and SK figures if anyone can stop his son, it’s these two with all the knowledge and experience they have against Yhwach. And also if anyone can keep Aizen in check without literally locking him up, it would be Ichigo.

Because I am a sucker for TBTP era, that is where they go. Maybe that’s as far as the SK could send them, maybe he thinks a century-ish to prepare would be enough.

Aizen Sousuke, Fifth Division lieutenant, gets carted off to the Fourth when he collapses out of the blue one afternoon under the weight of a hundred+ years of memories, including all the work he’ll do in his attempt to make a perfect Hogyoku and the events that led to his brief reign in Las Noches and of course his defeat at the hands of Kurosaki Ichigo and Urahara Kisuke and even those two years he spent in the darkness of Muken before being released just in time to watch the world collapse.

Ichigo, mind and body, gets conveniently dumped near a patrol led by Shiba Kaien. It doesn’t take much for the Clan to accept someone who’s so obviously one of them, even if they don’t know who his parents are. He’s also shuffled off to the Fourth because Kaien found him bleeding and near-comatose, and the Shibas have private healers but Unohana is still the best.

Ichigo wakes up first. His healing factor is no joke, and Aizen technically has two souls working to integrate together while his mind struggles to put all the new memories in order. They don’t see each other that day. Aizen gets his own private room, and Ichigo is in a wing reserved for the Shibas. But Ichigo can still sense him, and yeah, a very large part of him is still wary of this man because they aren’t exactly friends and Aizen’s one of the smartest, most dangerous people Ichigo has ever met. But at the same time, he also remembers the Aizen who tried to help him against Yhwach, undoubtedly for his own survival and his own refusal to serve anyone, but by the end, it was also very obvious that Yhwach was going to win and Aizen still didn’t switch sides or run away. Not even for his own survival. If nothing else, Ichigo can respect conviction like that.

Sousuke wakes a few days later. Unohana tells him his reiatsu was depleted, and did he strain himself training? Sousuke easily takes the lie and runs with it, conceding gracefully to Unohana’s ominous stare and lecture before he’s released.

Kyouka Suigetsu is cold even to his touch, and he can’t hear her even though he can feel her again. It’s both jarring and startling. He’s used to a certain kind of emptiness where his spirit once - and now again - resided, and he didn’t realize just how much he missed her felt that emptiness until it’s been filled again. He’s not sure what kind of reception he’ll receive when he enters his mindscape so he puts that off for later.

He goes back to work, brushes aside his captain’s suspicious glances and deflects his gruffly concerned nagging. He gets his hands on a calendar as soon as possible, and a few quick calculations tells him it’s still a good decade before the Hollowfication incident. He hasn’t even met Gin yet. Which reminds him… He considers it for all of a moment before making a mental note to recall all the Shinigami currently secretly under his command, gathering souls out in Rukongai under the guise of missions. Gin was a… tolerable protégé, a quick learner and a dependable subordinate, inasmuch as Sousuke ever depended on anyone. He has no use for him this time though, so he might as well leave the boy and his friend alone. Besides, Ichigo probably won’t approve, and even before they came back, Sousuke had already decided that - at least until Yhwach is taken care of - it would be more trouble than it was worth to have to fight Ichigo every step of the way as well. Until or unless, of course, Ichigo attempts to get him thrown back into Muken.

They don’t meet up until two weeks later. Sousuke is admittedly impressed at the speed Ichigo can get things moving when he’s motivated. Within a week, rumours of a new Shiba enrolling a bit late at the Academy begin circulating. Within two weeks, said new Shiba has reached prodigal status and jumped straight to almost all senior courses, most likely slated to graduate by the end of the year.

“You act quickly when you have made up your mind,” is Aizen’s opening gambit when he appears in the ramen stand that Ichigo deliberately chose because it’s only half a block away from the Fifth Division barracks.

Ichigo shrugs and doesn’t bother looking up from his noodles. “No use dragging my heels, right? I can’t do anything when I’ve got every Shiba in the city hovering over me like I might collapse from a strong gust of wind. They’ll have to back off once I graduate and get a job.”

Aizen makes a faintly skeptical noise once he finishes ordering his own meal. “You would be surprised. The Shiba Clan has always been strangely family-oriented.”

Ichigo rolls his eyes. “There’s nothing strange about being family-oriented. But whatever, we’re not here to talk about them. What’s your plan?” He gets a raised eyebrow for that. Ichigo rolls his eyes again. He feels like he’s going to be doing that a lot. “You can’t tell me you don’t already have like half a dozen plans cooked up. So tell me those, I have a few ideas of my own that I’ll tell you, and we’ll poke holes in each other’s plans until we come up with the best one.”

He gets stared at a bit more before Aizen’s ramen arrives, and they eat in silence for a while. Aizen is the one who breaks it in measured tones, “We need to figure out a way to breach their Wandenreich before Yhwach returns. He is powerful enough on his own. Taking his army from him would be a decent blow against him.”

Ichigo grimaces. “Right, and by we, you mean me.”

Aizen points out, mild as milk, “I cannot manipulate reishi.”

Ichigo sighs but doesn’t protest. His gaze slides over to a nearby shadow before returning to his food. “Right. Well. I guess you’ll be figuring out a way to defeat the Quincy army?”

Aizen waves a dismissive hand. “Yhwach aside, I am not particularly concerned about the rest of them. If push comes to shove and our Bankai are stolen, Urahara Kisuke invented a way to cripple them. I am sure I can duplicate the method.”

Ichigo gives him a hard stare at that. “Okay, but that better not be code for ‘I’m gonna continue feeding people to my sparkly magic stone’. Yours was a failure anyway so there’s no point doing the same thing all over again.”

Aizen counters with a narrow-eyed look that doesn’t quite fit the kind, genial lieutenant disguise he’s got going right now. It’s creepy. “The Hollowfication research will be necessary. I believe it is key to defeating Yhwach.”

Ichigo scowls. “That’s fine. But not your way.”

Aizen’s lip curls a little, equal parts derision and mockery before it’s wiped away again, just as a group of Shinigami duck inside to pick up their takeout order. They whisper excitedly when they catch sight of Aizen, and all of them blush when Aizen smiles at them. Ichigo thinks he might gag.

“Do you think,” Aizen says with all the silky bite of hidden poison, as soon as the Shinigami have left. “Your Urahara Kisuke created his Hogyoku any differently than I? He somehow succeeded where I did not, but do not think for one second that his hands are any cleaner than mine. The very nature of the Hogyoku requires the sacrifice of souls. He is no saint, no matter what kind of pedestal you’ve put him on in your-” He stops. Looks at Ichigo. A frown creases his brow. “…But you know that.”

Ichigo shrugs. “That Kisuke’s done some seriously messed up shit? Well yeah. I mean, Exhibit A: Rukia, Exhibit B: me. And I didn’t spend all my time at the Shouten only drinking tea and training, you know. Sometimes we talked.”

He doesn’t let himself think about it though. He’s been handling everything so far by very pointedly not thinking about it. About everything he’s lost. About everyone he’s lost.

“Just find another way,” Ichigo finishes irritably. “You’re supposed to be smart, right? So quit fucking around and figure it out.”

Aizen… doesn’t do anything as obvious as glare or even clench his jaw or anything, but there’s something about the unblinking sharpness of his expression that makes Ichigo think the man is torn between amused and annoyed and maybe a little incredulous. Ichigo doesn’t quite understand where all those emotions are coming from but he scowls back with an unflinching sort of steadiness because this is a line in the sand, and Aizen will not be crossing it. Not again.

Aizen finally concedes with little more than a huff of a laugh through his nose even as he turns back to his meal. “As you say,” He agrees, and if you only listened to his tone of voice, you’d think he was the pinnacle of gracious modesty. “And what of Urahara Kisuke? Will you be stopping him too?”

Ichigo frowns. “Yeah, but it’ll probably take me a while to get there. I was thinking, after I graduate, should I go to the Twelfth? We’ll probably need Kisuke, sooner or later.”

“You believe you can influence him enough to change him?” Aizen looks amused all over again.

“I can try,” Ichigo retorts. “If it really comes down to it, I can find his labs, burn everything that looks shady, and then pin him down and explain everything to him. And hopefully by then I’ll have found a way through to the Wandenreich too so that would be proof.”

He bristles defensively when Aizen actually rolls his eyes, a little. And here he thought the bastard was too refined for that.

“And there is the Kurosaki Ichigo I recall from our early days,” Aizen murmurs. He doesn’t give Ichigo the chance to snap back, continuing smoothly, if pointedly, “Do you even know enough about any scientific field or technological research to catch the Twelfth’s eye? At this point in time, those are the only types of graduates Urahara Kisuke is looking for.”

“Well, no,” Ichigo admits. He knows a bit from listening to Kisuke in the other future-past but probably not enough to actually make a career out of it. “But you can teach me, right?”

Aizen doesn’t even blink, but his reiatsu flutters just a moment, giving away his genuine surprise. “Me. Teach you.”

“You can say no,” Ichigo snorts. “If I can’t get into the Twelfth, I figure the Thirteenth or Eighth might be-”

“I have not said no,” Aizen cuts him off calmly. “And it would be foolish of you to believe there is no danger in working your way into Kyouraku Shunsui or Ukitake Jyuushirou’s good graces. This is not a century in the future where they’ve spent years stewing silently under a number of injustices against people they claimed to care about. This is a time where they turned their faces and said nothing when the Gotei’s elite was gutted overnight on one man’s say-so. Kyouka Suigetsu’s hypnosis ensured that an already paranoid government would condemn them, this is true, but I never had to hypnotize a single Shinigami for them to let the matter go. There was talk, of course, but in the end, they swept the incident under the rug all on their own.” He studies Ichigo for a long moment, and whatever he sees there - Fury? Disgust? Disappointment? - makes him nod with something like satisfaction and something like pity. “I will teach you some basics. I teach classes a few times a week at the Academy. I can set aside some office hours for you. If you can turn Urahara Kisuke to our cause, it would simplify matters greatly. But I doubt you will enjoy it much. You have always preferred the arts, I believe.”

Ichigo freezes. Aizen looks particularly innocent despite the dark-tinted amusement that swims underneath. “I did say I have watched you grow up all your life, did I not?”

“…You are so fucking creepy,” Ichigo finally croaks.

And Aizen beams rainbows and butterflies in response, and hell Ichigo wishes he’d looked like that at Yhwach because surely it would’ve been a one-hit KO. It sure as fuck makes Ichigo want to run screaming in the opposite direction.

And… some time passes. Ichi goes to school, meets up with Aizen in his office a couple times a week for tutoring sessions, plots with Aizen, snarks with Aizen, shouts at Aizen on one memorable occasion when they argued over whether hypnotizing everyone into helping them fight would be a good tactic (Ichigo wins with a no, for now, to be rehashed in the future).

Eventually though, people notice.

Sousuke hasn’t been using Kyouka Suigetsu as much. To be honest, there’s simply no real need, which is… an actual novelty. He is literally not doing anything illegal, and in fact hasn’t done anything illegal - beyond ensuring all the Shinigami under his command don’t remember what they’ve been doing for him - since he came back in time. He’s fairly certain it’s some kind of record.

It’s largely Ichigo’s fault, Sousuke decides. When he isn’t doing paperwork or teaching a class or away on a mission, he’s tutoring Ichigo or ironing out their future potential plans with him.

And Ichigo is not like Gin. Gin was obedient. For all that he had a mischievous streak, he also walked a careful line around Sousuke. He had a knack for just enough backtalk to be amusing but not offensive, made himself useful but didn’t linger enough for his presence to become annoying, and ultimately, he did anything and everything Aizen asked of him.

Ichigo is not like that. He very much does not give a damn about whether or not he offends Sousuke. He’ll park himself in Sousuke’s office until he learns whatever chapter of whatever topic Sousuke is teaching him that day. He’ll let them both take a break if they end up too frustrated, but he keeps at it, and he never shies from asking Sousuke to explain something again if he doesn’t understand. He matches Sousuke word for word if they disagree over something. He isn’t too prideful to concede if Sousuke makes a good enough point, but likewise, he doesn’t let Sousuke get away with insisting on being right when Ichigo comes out on top in their arguments.

It’s frustrating, and more than once, Sousuke thinks it would be so much easier if he could just… hypnotize Ichigo a little, to make him a little more agreeable. Of course, then he remembers Kyouka Suigetsu won’t work on him, because they may be back in time, but the soul remembers, and Ichigo adapted to Kyouka Suigetsu’s illusions from the very first moment they teamed up against Yhwach like he’d done it his entire life. Kyouka Suigetsu has never and will never work against Ichigo, and Sousuke’s still undecided about whether to be impressed or insulted by this.

So Sousuke is forced to cope. He’s appalled when Ichigo actually manages to goad him into snapping back once or twice, but at the same time, there’s something almost freeing about not having to watch his words, his actions, his very facial expressions, when there’s only Ichigo around. With Ichigo, there is no need to pretend because he already knows exactly the kind of person Sousuke is, and it leaves him feeling simultaneously wrong-footed and uneasy and perhaps just a touch grateful.

Eventually, Hirako notices. Hirako Shinji has forever been a thorn in Sousuke’s side. Not particularly life-threatening, almost forgettable at times, but irritating all the same. Hirako’s always seen something off about Sousuke. He’s never been able to see the full picture, but he sees enough to remain wary. Not that it helped him much in the end of course.

But he sees Sousuke with Ichigo, with the Shiba’s latest pride and joy, and undoubtedly, he probably thinks Sousuke is corrupting him. Which secretly amuses Sousuke to some degree. If there’s one man Sousuke would put money down on being uncorruptible, or at least very close to it, it would be Kurosaki Ichigo. If anything, it tended to be the other way around. Ichigo drew people into his orbit and changed them, simply by being himself. No mind manipulation necessary.

“Sou-chan,” Hirako sidles up to him one day, peering at him like that would make Sousuke crack and spill all his secrets. “I hear you’ve been hangin’ out with an Academy brat lately.”

Sousuke levels a patiently droll expression on his captain. “Indeed. Shiba-san has expressed an interest in joining the Twelfth upon his graduation, and he wishes to further his education in certain sciences in order to better his chances for acceptance. Since I have some knowledge of several areas in the field, I offered to tutor him during my office hours.”

And the best thing of all, he isn’t even lying. He wonders if Hirako can sense it too, because his captain stares, keen-eyed and silent, too controlled to flap his jaw in shock, but shocked all the same. It makes Sousuke wonder if he really did lie to Hirako that much the first time around. Then he remembers that more often than not, he simply left an illusion of himself in the barracks while he worked in his labs.

Hm. Is that why? because some part of Hirako - perhaps because of his Zanpakutou’s abilities - has always sensed that literally everything about his own lieutenant was fake?

“I see,” The man says at last. “Well, that’s good. The kid could benefit from that if he really wants to get into the Twelfth.” But I’ll be watching you goes unsaid. “Invite him over sometime,” He continues, and the offer is genuine, because at his core, Sousuke’s captain is a good man. “He can see what a Division looks like from the inside.”

Sousuke watches him walk away. He wonders if it will change anything if he tries shoving Ichigo in Hirako’s direction. It could be interesting to find out.

And…. that’s all I have. Basically these two getting to know each other in-between figuring out how to save the world and dragging in allies and settling into their lives in the past. And Sousuke still mind-whammying people as a first instinct. And Ichigo stopping him from mind-whammying people, which becomes instinct. It’s an interesting friendship, to say the least.