#and defend them with my life. and be at their heel instead of doing fuckall at camp

[first-blight]

i have to say, though, as much as i like reading about the astarion romance and absorbing it passively via tumblr posts, as of yet i'm far more intrigued by the dynamic astarion and my durge character have going on when they don't romance astarion and when they thought he was a nuisance (derogatory) up until late act 2/early act 3. it adds such good layers imo...

because, well, they aren't doing it for any benefit, they don't love him more or differently than the others—quite the opposite, actually. he's probably the least favourite party member for quite some time, and yet they do all these things for him. they put up with him despite disagreeing all the fucking time; they don't mind his...clumsy vampire reveal; they protect him from (i.e. don't rat him out to) the monster hunter; they let him feed on them—and don't chase him away after he accidentally kills them the first time—repeatedly, even when that means they're woozy for the day; they walk him through the whole raphael quest, only sometimes stepping in to be a guiding hand but otherwise letting astarion make his own decisions; they promise to come along to fight cazador; they promise to try and steer the ritual in astarion's favour; ...

they do all of that, again, not because they love astarion in a more significant way (though i don't think romantic relationships are by default more significant than platonic ones but i digress), not because he's somehow special to them. and, again, he only became a nuisance (affectionate) after late act 2, early act 3. their relationship was at a whopping 0 or -1 for a LONG time. so them doing all these things for him still, despite the bumpy relationship they have, feels so significant to me.

and from what i passively absorb about astarion's charatcer, it must be utter whiplash to experience! imagine the guy who can't stand a single opinion you have, who you also can't be fucked to care about beyond your alliance of convenience, repeatedly risks their own skin for you and goes out of their way to help you in various ways, asking for nothing in return—when you fully expect someone who doesn't even like you to ask for something, literally just anything in return. who does that??? are they mad??? of course, you begrudgingly also risk your skin for them once in a while, but usually only in immediate battle—where you obviously have to mind your allies. but they keep defending you in dialogue and refusing to rat you out when they have every reason to do so.

after 200 years with cazador, it seems such far away a notion, so utterly impossible that someone does something for/with him just because they respect his autonomy and personhood. not because they value him as an asset but simply because he exists. what the hell