#and considering i was about 2 seconds away from scraping this scene altogether | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

insomniac-arrest · 7 years ago

Text

Little Lights

genre: original, sci-fi, wlw

words: 7k

summary: a girl on a floating continent communicates with a girl on the ground through floating lanterns

they try to reach each other

The first one appeared on my 7th birthday, I had seen them before but hadn’t been allowed to join the procession until that year.

My hair was tied back in complex knots and I pulled on them regularly, trying to dislodge the tight coils and chew on the ends. It was a bad habit, my mom had been trying to cut the habit out of me for years (at nine she would threaten me with a spritz bottle).

I tugged on my hair coils and stared up the night sky as my mother fiddled with her high-tech camera, she had wanted to be a photographer at one point when she was younger. My father was still trying to find the ‘perfect’ patch of grass for us to settle on.

I held my mother’s skirts as I stared up at the approaching mass in the sky, dark and shimmering as it hefted across the sky like a rolling tangible storm. I was aware of the floating continents at that point, but it was still making me suck in my breath.

I sucked on my bottom lip instead of my hair and try to keep my eyes fixated on the glowing jagged shapes miles away. I had some eminent sense that if I blinked the whole thing would fall from the sky or disappear altogether.

My sister called me a fanciful girl at that age, but that was one of the nicest things she called me overall.

I kept my hand latched onto my mother’s skirt, her fingers ticking over the different filters on her camera and cursing softly, not loud enough for me to overhear, but I filled in the gaps. My sister was with her first boyfriend that year, somewhere high up, close enough she said to almost touch the bottom of it.

I doubted that. I didn’t believe anything could reach that high, my mouth falls open as the rumbling machine gently glides closer and closer. I had always known about floating continents, I see the lights first.

Honey yellow, glacial blue, cherry lipstick red, tangerine orange, all the crayon colors I could think of and more, they lit up one by one as hovering fairy lights against the dark. It was a dream of a dream and my eyes itched as I refused to look away.

The continent was poised against the last last tendrils of the setting sun and I could see buildings and trees outlined in a fantastical twisting design. And the lights.

My mother told me this happened every nine months or so, but I wasn’t listening, the fairy lights, lanterns, gently, slowly, were released from the darkness, lights carried on the breeze.

My eyes trace dipping patterns of glowing paper as they glide soundlessly out, cheering erupts around me as people whoop and clap for the release.

My eyes are drawn to a light pink one, pansy pink, kissed sunset pale pink, pink like my little fairy princess set.

“Mommy!” I say shrilly, hotly, “that one’s for me.” My mother sticks her bottom lip out, “Winnie-” She warns.

I release her skirts, “I have to go get it!”

“Winnie!” She grabs for the back of my green hood, “you’ll miss the paper airplanes, don’t you want to see-” They told me I was too young for a paper airplane anyway, I block out the rest of what she says, which was probably a deep groan as I dart into the cheering crowd.

Skirts and rustling coat tails flow around my small head and I ignore them, I had to keep my eyes on the light pink lantern, it was twisting gently in the sky with all the others

“Winnie!”

I duck my head under a low fence and feel the grass on my knees as I run away from the glow of the festival. “Come here little light!”

I almost scrape the palms of my hands as I scramble up and start sprinting up the side of the hill where only a smattering of people had perched, but my pink lantern was floating down slowly, slower than the others. Just gasping over the ground. I hear cries as people start to catch them.

“Here!” I reach my little arms in the air and flail them back and forth; the pink was far above my head. I run around in large circles as I try to guess where it is going to drop. I start to whine as it picks up and floats far above the others. Almost gone.

“Please,” I plead with it, “don’t be difficult.” That’s a phrase my grandma was always using, I reach up on my tiptoes. The pink lantern falls, my fingers curl around the sun panel on the very bottom

My entire face lights up, heart soaring, fingers clasping around the cool panel that held the lantern up. I tumble backward onto my backside as I grab the sides and fall back down to the earth

“Yes!” I can feel the grass staining the back of my light green fancy jacket. My heart is pounding in my chest, the lantern was pink poppies, sweet jam, I can see the little note inside.

“RELEASE!” I hear the cannon shot, I just catch the end of the ceremony, the little metro area launching thousands of colorful paper airplanes back at the floating cloud city. I hear cheering as people up there must be trying to catch them too.

I can’t stop smiling, “hello little light.” I reach inside, avoiding the tinted LED light bulb and curiously taking out a piece of paper.

The piece of paper wasn’t the point of the exercise for me, but I squint at it anyway. I knew some people sent things down with their light.

Dear anyone,

It was written with curling alternating colors, like a rainbow with each letter delicately formed and chosen. I was impressed.

I hope you get this!!! My name is Iris, this is my lanturn :) It’s the same color as my play kit and I piked it out myself.

I have 2 parents and 1 cat. He is a fat cat named Marshmellow and I wished he would have kittens, mommy says he can’t. I feel very sorry for him when he mews to go outside and we don’t let him outside

I would want to go outside if I was a cat- even if I couldn’t swim or pet dogs.

I go to scool every day and want to be an artist or detektiv one day, I have a magnifying glass and 2 crimes already

One is who stole Stacy’s bike (not me) and the second is who nocked over the grass hut I built

Here some of the grass I found at the scene!

Pleese enjoy my lanturn, my mom says this is a very specile time of year and I really really want someone to find it and keep it like in the movies

PS- do you have a cat? Has it had kittens?

PSS- do you think breakfast cereal is okay to eat out of a big cup? I think it’s a weird but okay

PSSS- please be careful with my lite! I spend very time on it and I hope you love it too :D

I held the note to my chest as I lie on my back and watch the last of the lanterns and paper airplanes fall to earth. The music is already increasing behind me as the rest of the night heats up with noise and clattering feat.

My dad wanted to show me how to do a cartwheel.

Instead I start to wonder how I was going to tell Iris that I got her lantern.

------

I was grounded for two weeks after I ran away during the festival and stained my nice clothes. I don’t mind being grounded because it just means I don’t go outside and can’t use the internet.

I can still use my toys and paint programs on my computer systems and mommy doesn’t take down my fort, so I’m okay. She doesn’t know why I like my fortress so much anyway. I didn’t stop crying for a week after they took it down the first time, so I can keep it in the corner of my room as long as I don’t try and bring it to the living room again.

I prefer having it in the living room since the couch holds the blankets up better, but the lamp in my room works pretty good anyway as long as no one runs into it.

I crawl inside the soft insides of my fort and I start writing back to Iris immediately.

Dear Iris,

I sit for a very long time as I excitedly go over what I want to tell her. I have my sister check all the spelling before I try and write it out sentence by sentence.

I found your lamp!! It is the best color, I love pink, it’s my favorite color. How old are you? You sound like you’re about my age. That’s good, I don’t have a lot of kids my own age.

That wasn’t exactly true, but it was true enough. I didn’t consider myself part of the ‘losers’ but I knew people didn’t think I was very popular. I didn’t have a group, sometimes I really really wished I had ‘a group.’

I keep writing to Iris.

I don’t have a cat, my mommy is allergic and sneezes a bunch when she gets near one. It’s bad. There aren’t too many pets down here, how many pets are there up there??

Do you really eat clouds up there? (my sister told me not to ask this but she doesn’t know more than me. She only gets normal points, I get lots of class points for my group (which is green banana))

Do you like living up there? Is it windy?

I sometimes eat cereal out of the big mugs when everyone forgets to do dishes and I don’t say anything since sometimes I’m the reason no one did dishes. I eat out of big mugs then, I don’t think it’s weird. Mine has scooby doo on it! Do you like scooby doo? You like detective stuff, so I hope so.

Tell me what happens with your crime!!! I sniffed the grass but couldn’t find any clues.

Please write back soon!

My name is Winifred, which isn’t a good name, and my mommy calls me Winnie and my uncle calls me Freddi for fun. But I want to be ‘Lumin’ since it means light and my favorite God (Apollo!!) is the light God. I like mythology and magic and shows about animals a whole lot, I like your light!!

I hope I hear from you soon.

-Winnie

My sister says it’s too long and rambling, but I don’t know what rambling exactly means so I just ignore her. She says I need to make real friends and I tell her that Iris is my friend.

I was eight that year.

I was going to find Iris.

---------

I didn’t find Iris. It turned out there were a lot of Iris’s on the continent of Tritos, I told my mom I was going to write all of them and she told me I could try. If I did my homework first.

They want me to a lot more testing, a lot more than the other kids. I notice, I’m not sure if they want me to notice or not, I don’t think it’s a secret.

Ms. Kamau keeps me after school sometimes and has me take these quizzes that ask me things like which graphs make sense and what kind of money I would make. I like the part where I make stuff up like money, I’m little sick of telling them that their graphs suck though.

I don’t really want to be in the ‘separate’ class by myself, I had always been in the separate class and it was little jarring to be more separate than even the separate class.

It makes it hard to go to the library after school and look up the names of all the people in the cloud cities. There were a lot of cloud cities at this point, and even more Iris’s.

My dad asks me why I have a giant book on my lap, typing emails in from the directory and looking up the different names. I tell him that Iris needs to know, she needs to know someone found her lantern like she wanted.

I write a second letter in only pink pen.

Dear Iris, I get sad sometimes, do you get sad? Please tell me what your favorite music is. I like the ones where it’s quiet and you can’t always understand the words.

It’s pretty dark tonight, another continent is coming overhead, but they aren’t our sister. That’s what my mother said, so there are no lanterns. Just night. It’s kind of sad because I can’t imagine what you’re up to, like waking up in the morning and eating cereal and putting your hair up. My mom makes me put my hair up now. Do you have uniforms up there in sky cities?

Please tell me if you have any more mysteries to solve.

From,

Winnie.

-------

It takes three years before I get in contact with Iris again, I had twelve letters at the time, some were better than others. I settle on three and a picture of our home and my family, I hoped she would like those (and she wasn’t a creep).

I got to put my hair up myself that year, the lantern festival was back, the year before that I had been sick during the night and the year before that I couldn’t find her lantern. I checked every pink one in the area, but maybe she changed colors.

I was ten.

Instead, this year I was going to send up the brightest airplane in the night sky, I had been working on the motor for months now. I was in the separate separate class of just sometimes just me, sometimes they let me join just the one separate class. But not always

They let me work on whatever project I want in there, so I decided I wanted to create a tiny motor for my airplane, so it would stand out.

It says Iris in giant purple letters on top, the paper itself is a vibrant pink, just the same hue as hers. I know on some level I should be ‘moving on’ as my sister insisted, but some things are worth seeing to the end. That’s what my dad said, my mom just nodded at him. They were getting a stipend now to have me do the extra classes.

They always want little scientists, that’s who made the floating continents in the first place and solved overpopulation and the poison in the dirt. Some of the dirt is poisoned but the dirt up there isn’t now, so it solved a couple problems.

I’m not sure how I feel about all the science, but I feel like I can warm up to all the numbers when they leave me alone with them. They’re simple, like a game I can solve. This was another problem I could solve.

The motor came out of that, numbers and drawings and a puzzle I can solve. I tell Iris all this in my third letter, that I still like my classes but I wish they let me do more stories about Apollo. I send her one of my short stories about him and Helios, they both want to ride the sun across the sky but can’t. I ask her about Marshmallow and what she did all day up there.

I make sure to put a streamer on the back of my airplane, everyone loved the ones with streamers.

I make it to the festival early and avoid anyone trying to get my attention and ask me when I was going to take the PISA and get placed. I told them I didn’t want to do either, The Qualifier could wait.

I find a spot on the grass behind my older sister and her new boyfriend as we stare up at the sky. Titros rolls through the sky, the hover panels reflect off the ground and glow softly, the lights of the city are turned off one by one.

“They do that for us,” Bee’s boyfriend says sweetly and tucks my sister’s hair behind her ear. “They want us to see the lights.” I try not to look down at my sister and her boyfriend, my face is already hot from seeing my sister even giggle at one of his dumb jokes. At least this boy is sweet.

My mom is taking pictures again, standing at the very top of a craggy peak, we’re waving at her as she stands with a giant smile on her face. I loved seeing her like that.

I wave until my arm is tired and she still doesn’t see me, that was okay, Titros is almost at our doorstep, I hold my breath as the lantern lights are turned on one by one.

“Here it comes!” I sing over the noise and my sister glances over her shoulder with pursed lips at me, she was doing that a lot more now, pursed lips like a coin purse locking. I almost miss the yelling.

“Are you going to catch another one this year Winnie?” Chege asks me politely.

I just nod fervently, “I’ll try.” The lights come down like falling stars one by one, little tear drops from the darkness, slowly at first until they were a cascade of color and light. People down below are wagging their hands above them frantically as they try to catch a good luck lantern.

Most of them had special patterns and little words of encouragement and phrases, many had letters within. Some letters were greetings or wishes and secrets they couldn’t tell anyone else or even class assignments they wanted to get rid of. Some unlucky person sometimes got a prank lantern, but I preferred not to think about those- the fake ones.

I try to survey the sky for pink ones, but my hopes were a little down, there was a high chance she would switch patterns by now. She didn’t even know I existed in the first place, my heart sinks at that thought and I bite my lip.

I still liked to chew on things, but it’s mostly gum and toothpicks now, my sister assures me neither of those things are cool.

I sit a little numbly as people reach and reach toward the lanterns and catch them in a flurry of limbs and laughter, cheering. I watch as Chege jogs purposefully to bright red one, a heart in the very center, my sister squeals as he presents the heart-lantern to her. I have to look away again.

I watch as the lanterns dangle and dip, this isn’t what I was waiting for though, I hold my breath again as I hear the second little jingle of silver noise, a blast. Windchimes and a cannon release.

“There it goes!” I jump to my feet to watch as my sister was busy embracing her boyfriend, I run to get the best view as the blast fills the air. The stream of little paper planes arches just high enough to reach the floating continent, more whooping follows.

I run, chasing the arch as long as a snaking river, I spot the white of my streamer just in time: Iris! It says, Iris!

I can only pray she sees it, the people are just waving outlines above us, wiggling stick figures with one voice and one gasping mob. I couldn’t even imagine what Iris looked like, what she saw in the morning, what she thought about when she went to bed.

I watch as outstretched fingers I can’t see start to catch the little planes one by one.

Catch it.

I pray to something indistinct and nameless, something that must make the lanterns float in the first place.

Please catch it.

I chase the planes until I am breathless and sweating out of every pour, my chest heaves try to see something that isn’t there. I imagine her ripping her airplane open to see my letters snugly placed there, I imagine she is relieved- someone had got her lantern all that time ago.

I pray.

----

I am eleven, I get the first best surprise I could ever wish for. An IM.

The tests are coming fast and furious now, for the first time I am struggling in school and wish I was outside doing anything else.

My sister is listening to happy music and my mom is developing more photos, she got one of the festival where the lights were reflecting off a toddler's cheek as they shrieked at their first Lantern Celebration. I don’t know what she sees in it, but she keeps looking.

My father is trying to get a hot tub for the backyard, it’s a very long process that I think it taking more time than strictly necessary. The hot tub was being bought from my stipends.

They aren’t talking to me like they used to, I wished terribly to talk to somebody but I feel like my tongue is made of moonrock even when I’m around the other kids. There was too much competition, too many points and tally’s and names written in line on the board.

My name is always at the top.

I close my eyes every night and try to think about what Iris is doing, what I tell her if we ever talk. I might lie a little bit, I won’t tell her my ranking.

It’s a nice fantasy.

That’s why I almost leap out of my skin when I see a new IM on the family computer locked into the living room wall. It pings brightly with little white notification in the corner and I pass in front of it before I head off to school.

I assume it’s for my sister, for some assignment from a classmate or some friend that wants to go to the mall. Maybe a boy she turned away.

The day goes by like every other day: they let me do independent study for an hour, always building something. I like building things but the joy of it kind of soured after my motor didn’t seem to make a difference last festival.

I have no idea if I actually did anything or not.

I poke and prod at the electronic bits of a cube that can tell you the weather at any place in the world. It was pretty as it was superfluous.

I see another ping on my handheld phone at school.

I blink a couple times at that, a family IM was one thing, I blink again, but this meant it was for me. I sit up straight in my chair and make sure no one is paying attention to me. Ash seems to be consumed in her robotics project and the teacher is helping Tumanai.

I quickly poked at the ping to see where the message was from, my eyes go wide. IW. IW from international satellite coordinated in the middle of the Pacific.

My heart leaps into my throat, that had to be a floating continent. It had to be her.

I thrust my hand in the air.

“Can I go to the bathroom?” I almost shout it at the top of my lungs, the class looks at me but I stopped caring what I thought after the day they threw all my pencils out the window on SAT day last year.

My teacher adjusts her glasses, “What’s that Miss Otiena?” I scrunch my nose up, “I need to go home.” “You just said bathroom,” Ash hisses at me, I make a face at her.

“I feel awful.” I slump down on my desk, my teacher adjusts her glasses again.

Brief haggling follows, but I had never asked to be excused before, never asked for any favors. She had no choice but to believe me, she didn’t even bother calling my parents, I was eleven now. And separate.

I run home with my pulse throbbing in my wrist and eyes wide, it could be a false call, it could be a prank, it could be that I had finally lost it.

I run home and put up a pile of blankets between the chair and the couch. An impromptu fort.

The little light glows in my face, I wipe my sweaty palms down, my finger trembles as I push down on the answer button.

A message dings up immediately.

“Hello!” My computer offers to read it out loud for me, I decline. “This is Iris.” I close the program immediately, taking deep heaving breaths.

“She’s here,” I bury my smiling face in my hand, “She’s here, she’s here!” I couldn’t help it, I had been waiting. Iris. Iris Wegener it said.

I bite my lip and wish I had something to chew through, I had her name, her whole name. And she knew I was someone.

I almost start to dance, she had gotten my plane! The world is somehow bright and larger than it ever had been before.

It takes several more minutes before I can even think about opening the IM again. My whole body was tensing, I remember about reading an article about expectations. Some part of me hadn’t thought this would ever work.

What would I fantasize about after this? What if I made it bad?

I take deep rattling breaths, I had worked for this. I couldn’t keep Iris waiting, not anymore. I open her messages again.

IW: hello Winnie!

There were less exclamations points now.

IW: I’m sorry it took me so long to respond, I had to go through a couple of bargaining chips to get my parents to believe this is real.

IW: but… it feels real.

IW: you were seven when you got my lantern? That’s so embarrassing, I barely remember what I wrote. But… thank you. I was pretty excited when I saw an entire plane with my name on it. I almost lost it!

IW: I don’t know what I’m writing, I’m sorry.

IW: anyway, my name is Iris Wegener. I’m thirteen this week :), Marshmallow passed when I was nine sadly :(, I like horses though I’ve never seen one. I don’t like Game Shows since they seem so fake, I don’t really want to be a detective now.

IW: I’m sorry you feel sad sometimes.

My mouth is fully open now, Iris had responded. Iris had responded a lot, she was almost my age. She liked horses, she didn’t game shows! She was a real person, not something I just made up.

I close my computer and lie on my back, I trace the lines I remember of Tritos with my fingers on the bedsheet above my head. The outline of the continent stands out in my mind’s eye.

“Iris,” I mouth the word. I don’t know what to say back.

----

I don’t know to say back, I figure it would come to me, so I sleep on it. But it doesn’t come, not the next day or the day after that.

Iris keeps messaging me.

IW: hey, I’m sorry if I said anything weird

IW: I hope I got the right number, maybe you lost your phone or your parents took it when they ground you :(

IW: that sometimes happens to me, my mom calls me a troublemaker. I’m locked up in my room right now, I don’t know what her problem is >:(

IW: I don’t feel like a troublemaker, but it’s always this or that, detention for talking in class, detention for running in the halls, detention for writing my essay with The Truth

IW: I mean, everyone knows the The Fifth War was started by a systematic flaws of any era built on blood and exploitation

IW: It’s not news!

IW: anyway… I’m sorry if I said anything to offend you

IW: I think

IW: I think the plane is the sweetest thing that’s ever happened to me.

That was the first day, I read it over breaks, over dinner, smiling it down on my lap as my father tries to ask me about my studies and my sister rolls her eyes. I read it before bed, first once, and then what felt like twenty times.

I liked Iris Wegener.

I need to say something cool to her.

IW: Day three!

IW: I’m still freaking grounded, it sucks so hard

IW: do you ever get grounded? I hope you are right now

IW: oh dang, that sounds bad, I just mean I hope you message me, the computer says this is the right address

IW: who do you think was the most handsome member of the Imperialist Russian dynasty? I’m doing a project

IW: the headline is ‘Hottie or Romin-notty?’ It’s a thinkpiece

I didn’t get any more messages until the next day.

IW: I got double grounded!! My mother must not agree that Ivan the Terrible was a notty

IW: This is probably why you aren’t IMing back lol

My heart fell at that, I needed to say something. I need something, I need to tell her that I think she’s funny and that I think we’d have fun if we went to school together. My head falls, I wished so bad for a moment we went to school together.

My thoughts go blank as I try to make the first move, to say anything. It doesn’t come to me that whole week.

Iris keeps going.

IW: here’s a picture of a dog: [FILE PICTURE]

IW: does this make me normal? I honestly don’t want you to think I’m that weird

IW: here’s a list of my favorite members of V-W in order of best hair to worst personality:

Iris was bored and interesting, and I was interested and boring. I couldn’t figure out when any of these lines could be intersected.

It would be three months until the next Festival.

Iris kept writing.

----

Iris liked boy bands, she owned 27 arm bands, she wrote papers that made her teachers angry, she wanted to study zoology sometimes, and sometimes she wants to be a bakery chef.

She was in the normal class.

She hated asparagus and loved salty things ranging from fried chips to plain peanuts out of a jar. She loved the color grey now, the type that was almost silver, she wanted to paint her room that color and carpets, but her mom wouldn’t let her.

She didn’t have any siblings, but her friend Holly was almost there she argued.

Her parents circled her like a vulture sniffing for problems.

It was a month before the next festival, I was working harder than I ever worked before. I had my new project. Iris was telling me something else now.

It was 2 in the morning, I was still looking at phone, going over numbers in my head, going over the test scores. My parents would get more stipends the higher I reached. And then the next step, The Qualifier.

I didn’t want to think about The Qualifier.

My phone pinged, I turn my phone over as quickly as I can.

IW: sometimes I feel like nothing I do is good enough for her

IW: I couldn’t buy birthday flowers for her, she’s ‘allergic’

IW: it doesn’t matter if I try

IW: none of it makes her happy, do you ever worry about that Winnie? IW: that you’ll never be good enough

IW: Winnie?

I hold the phone close to my chest and imagine the next words I would write back if I could.

WO: I feel that sometimes Iris, I think it’s normal. WO: I think you’re the best thing that’s happened to me, please don’t think that of yourself. You don’t have to be good enough

WO: everything about you

WO: is good

I wrap my fingers around the little box, right up against my thumping heart, and fall asleep like that.

-----

Iris goes slightly quiet the couple days before the festival, I try not to let it bother me, I was busy enough as it was. This had to be perfect.

I had all my responses from the last couple months saved up.

The first was an apology, it was on flower paper and a little crying laughing face.

The paper reads briefly:

Hey Iris,

I wanted to say something cool! But I wait too long and the pressure kept building up! I’m so sorry. I know this isn’t cool either.

-Winnie

If Iris stopped messaging me after that then that’s how it would be, but I had to clear the air. I had to try again.

I’m sweating in the dead of summer as our sister continent came sweeping across the horizon, bleeding into the night and showing itself just as the sun went down. My mouth is dry and tasteless, I would be fourteen that year.

It felt so strangely routine compared to the wonder of being seven and struggling for the single light in the sky. It had felt like it had to happen at the time, that it was always going to, but here I was, a mess in all regards. Not messaging back.

I am in the launch prep room right up to the final bell, tinkering, adjusting, trying to figure out what to really say.

There are five letters stuffed into the fat airplane this time, I hope they stay fixed in there after everything. My jaw hurts from clenching when I go to the Festival Master and give her my plane, she examines it skeptically for a moment.

The little motor and basket on it’s back are both off model, she shrugs anyway, almost smiling in a knowing way. She places my plane right next to all the others.

I exhale.

My phone trembles in my hand, waiting. The lanterns had already fallen, only the planes were left. I run outside and I’m typing as fast as I can, before my thoughts catch up to me.

WO: Iris, look up!

I don’t know where I get the courage, but my fingers are flying over the letters.

WO: Please look up!

The blast of air tickles my neck, a twinkle of wind chimes fills the air as thousands of little airplanes are pushed high into the sky. Shot toward the continent and waiting crowds.

My plane is slightly higher than the others, I see the mechanisms clicking in my mind’s eye, igniting the tails of the string. Lighting up the little plane as it let out the series of purple sparks. The sparks fizzle and boom, twisting into large colorful letters.

Iris!

It wrote the letters in curling, carving sparkles that filled the sky. I wished I had more to say but the white and glowing Iris hangs in the air with a rainbow of color and series of pops.

I exhale again, hoping the rest of the plane makes it there after the fireworks were released. I hope she looked up.

I take a moment to lie down and feel the crowds churning around me, my mother was nowhere to be seen, my father was putting together our new hover car somewhere. My sister was eating ice cream with her friends over her friend’s latest breakup.

I was lying on my back, looking up, panting, phone clutched in my fingers as I wait.

I told myself I didn’t care if she messages back after that, but my phone hangs empty and quite next to me. I feel pinpricks on the edges of my eyes, I strangle the feeling as it rises up.

She had every right to be mad, I hold the phone harder. I tell myself she never has to talk to me again, my cheeks are flushed and wet.

Ping

I let the stress tears roll out before wiping at them, before rolling over frantically to open up the IM.

IW: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh

IW: I DIDN’T KNOW YOU GOT MY MESSAGES

IW: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh

I can’t stop smiling.

WO: don’t worry about it

WO: hi my name is Winifred Otiena, I am almost fourteen, I still like the color pink and think that your detective business would have been wonderful

WO: I’ve seen a horse, but think they’re little too big

WO: and thank you

WO: thank you so much for messaging me

IW: you’ve been reading this crap??

WO: please don’t stop

WO: I’m not great with words but I liked yours

IW: you’re great with fireworks apparently tho!! :D

WO: I wanted to say something great back, I knew I had to say something great

IW: Well...hi

WO: hello

We started to talk back and forth, at last. It was touch and go at first, I still had to hide my face sometimes and Iris filled the gaps with her chatter.

It was okay. In fact, Winnie grinned, it was great.

-------

I was fifteen, I was messaging a girl on a floating island. The girl on the floating island was messaging back.

She sent me a lantern that year with wings on it, wings and floating clouds around it. It held all of the Odyssey released in bits of scrap paper into the air as it descended. I caught it and took a selfie with the clouds and Apollo lantern.

We talk for the whole night.

-------

I am sixteen and I am messaging Iris every night, Iris is on her third suspension and I was spending less and less time at home. We had a new home, we celebrated my sister leaving for college.

I missed her terribly.

My parents are just glad she didn’t stay for her boyfriend Chege that she was on-again-off-again for all these years.

I am more grateful than ever for someone to talk to.

Iris sends me lantern with moving kittens on the side and chocolates that taste like bourbon and sugar. She says she wants to taste real bourbon one day and thinks I look like I’d make a cute kitten. I say we all would.

I go through my second growth spurt and am still barely reaching 5’4.

I send Iris an airplane with flowers from the ground, iris’s and poppies. She says there aren’t poppies up there.

The Qualifier preppers are at my door almost every night. I gulp and sometimes shake my head, I had more questions than answers.

------

I am seventeen, the air is thick with summer.

Iris sent me a lantern that is red and silk, an outside made of slick flowery material and smells like her perfume. I blush and send her a plane with a bright pink ribbon on top. I tell her to wear it.

I am tired all the time, numbers and figures float through my head.

I keep getting the same message from her.

IW: where do you go after you ‘qualify’ ?

WO: I don’t know

IW: find out!

WO: that’s classified, the WG only shows you the paycheck

IW: :/

What do you qualify for she asked.

-------

I am eighteen.

I feel the age creeping up on me like a battered old woman about to curse my soul and suck it out of my body with a straw. That’s an image Iris suggests to me, she is already nineteen, she’s got a temporary job at a shoe store.

I don’t know what to tell her, she sends me snaps of her DnD games and I show her my tired puffy face.

I took the test, it took me five hours and my hand almost blistering into nervous hives as I finish. I wished I had failed.

The conversation from before ringing through my ears

IW: botch the test

WO: I can’t, they’ll know, they already know what I can do

IW: … don’t go.

WO: you can’t say that

IW: don’t go! You don’t know where they’re taking you

WO: humanities brightest, they’re gathering us

WO: it’s how we got the floating cities… the World Government, everything

IW: THey don’t need you!!! Not all of you

WO: :

IW: for me

I start shaking, did I really want to go? My parents barely spoke in the sprawling house we were provided, my sister was trying not to fail out gracefully from of one of the top schools in the country (she was doing her best). I had nightmares of hands and timers every night.

For her.

I start sneaking into my old school again, into the old building room.

I would solve all of humanity's problems, somewhere I didn’t know. Somewhere they didn’t let people come back from.

She sends me the article.

IW: READ. THIS.

[LINK RECEIVED]

IW: they did this on purpose, they do it all on purpose

I’m not sure I want to know, I click on it anyway, stomach sinking.

Our Smartest Children: Isolated, for a Reason?

Does competition and strategic pushing help young minds bloom? One investigation says that the next crisis will be averted through grooming the next generation.

But at what cost?

Teachers are said to be taught to pick out the brightest and set the rest of-

I close the article at that, I had seen enough. I go back to my workshop, I start building, I start bleeding my fingers on nuts and bolts. It starts to look like something from a fairy tale.

I break into our hover car and take out the resisters.

I borrow the reflectors from my neighbor’s tool house, the boards they used on the continents, to reflect. To blend in.

I stop going to class, I had already qualified.

The days tick by like maple syrup, dripping and slow. Sticky.

Iris facetimes me. Her face is round and bright and dark as the sister earth that left our soil all those years ago from the mountain.

I pet it slowly and she grins back at me, “so,” she makes a hiccup of noise, “where is my postcard from earth?” I smile back, “wait for it.” I’m almost done.

-------

The night beats on my brow like a violent slap, making me shake. I didn’t know if they were watching, maybe they’ll think I’m going to fail anyway.

I knew the reflectors would only last a couple minutes, I knew the hover material may barely hold me up. I worried she might not want to see me anymore after the first day passes.

I knew I would miss my parents, but I wouldn’t miss the tests and the headache and the burden. There were other ways to save humanity.

I perch on the edge of the gulch where it looks out on the planes. Where they had scooped out the earth, purified it, made it wholesome and able to plant trees again. Then the made it float, build, grow.

Trees were starting here again now too, but they came from the floating cities first.

I reach up and close my eyes, breathing in deeply as the shallow breeze licks my neck. It felt forever ago I stood there and chased a small pink lantern.

I shake, my eyes open just as the first little colors of glowing light come softly floating down from Titros.

I engage the thrusters of my machine, clenching around my shoulders and humming against my spine.

“Iris,” I try to make her out in the crowd on the land above, I can’t. “Iris.” I pray again, my shoulders tensing as my feet lightly, slowly, stop bearing my weight, I feel a smile grow across my mouth as I begin to ease off the ground. The motor I had been developing since I was nine pressed against my back, I took the next leap.

My hover wings hold me up, I go hurdling toward Titros, to the dirt and the earth and away from the eyes of the World Government. Titros was its own.

I reach my hands out, temples pounding, a blur of light and sound as I become a weightless leaf in the wind, I rise.

“Iris!” My voice is hoarse and almost gone, I’m afraid I will be shot down. That I will be chased and punished and told I have failed them. All of them.

I see the edge of the continent like a guillotine’s blade, I reach for the very bottom of the first panel, “please.” I gasp and I hear the voices from below for the first time.

“Who is that?” “What is she doing…” “What’s that on her back?” “She’s going to fall!” The ignition stutters, a coughing choking sound that sparked fear deep in my gut. A sputter comes from my home-made wings and the world is popping and whirring all around me. The air rushes through my ears, through my hair, I gape. No.

My fingers grasp at nothing and I begin to fall. “Winnie!” A hand is surging toward me, wrapping around my wrist, pulling me.

My face splits into a smile, heat surges throughout my whole body from where she touched me. “There you are.”

I don’t know who says it, I am pulled up into Titros, a hole in the sky that sucked me in as she yanked on my hands. She wraps around me like a light and I fall into the depths of the continent, with her.

The voices are still calling out, the hatch closes behind us and we collide in the way universe’s come together. It steals my breath away and chases every thought I ever had away.

“You made it,” she laughs against me, “took you long enough.” All I could do is nod, “I suppose I couldn’t stay away.” She shakes her head, we kiss for the first time in the last moment. I hold her close and my whole body feels light, powerful.

We watch the last of the lanterns fall and she squeezes my hand, “This is my favorite one.” We come together again.

#original story #science fiction #wlw #sapphic #original writing

468 notes · View notes