#and confront my own biases and weaknesses in my own ways of engaging in community

[catfishofoldin99colours]

watching a very interesting video essay and I feel like my brain is enlargening it's. SO good.

[thesimplyluxuriouslife]

254: 26 Ways to Ensure Happy Singledom at Any Stage of Our Life's Journey

"Across the world, despite all prejudices and beliefs against it, singlehood is the growing trend." —Elyakim Kislev , author of Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living

It is highly beneficial to understand the construction of our beliefs regarding singledom, so that after discarding the myths and acknowledging the realities, we can "freely choose whatever lifestyle fits [us] best".

With the life expectancy in most developed countries rising to just under 80 years, it is a statistical probability that all of us will be living single or solo at some point in our lives whether by choice or circumstances, and consequently, knowing how to enjoy being single is a skill that would be most beneficial to acquire.

Depending upon our innate temperaments, which is different than our personalities, each of us is more predisposed to be comfortable or prefer more or less social engagement. And depending upon what we most enjoy doing in our careers and in our free time, we will be more or less inclined to seek out companionship for long or short durations.

Elyakim Kislev's new book, which was released in February, includes extensive research and an abundance of studies that demonstrate the reality of our modern world that no matter what you prefer, will enable each of us to live more consciously and thus more fully, as well as support others in our lives who choose to live in a manner we may not prefer or choose.

The first powerful finding that spoke to me was the acknowledgement of an unspoken truth regarding marriage (these studies involves a large majority of the industrialized world, not just the United States) - why do people step more easily into marriage even with modernizations of the world we live in today.

Studies have actually proven that the 51% of individuals entering into marriage acknowledge that it is "a fear of aging alone or dying without anyone at our bedside that drives us into marriage".

"Marriage may not be such a good way to escape loneliness in old age. Not only do married people feel lonely in surprisingly high numbers, but also long-term singles are often better equipped to deal with loneliness later in life".

Yes, that does then mean 49% of people did not report this as a reason, but that alone should give us pause, especially when we know that the divorce rate is nearly as proportionate and the percentage of a second divorce is higher still. While each couple's situation is uniquely alone, to not address this fear is to place an undeserved burden on individual we are marrying. In fact, studies have proven, when we do address this fear, as those who have never married do, earlier in our lives, the individual is more likely to make the best decision for themselves and thus improve their overall happiness no matter what the decision may be.

Many TSLL readers/listeners know I am single and have been for the majority of my life. Don't worry, this is not a post/episode advocating for being single if you are either already in a happy marriage, happy relationship or wish to be coupled. Rather today's posting will hopefully broaden our understanding of the realities of societal norms, motivations, pressures, expectations, unconscious biases and realities so that whatever your life's journey is and will be, it is one made with a clear mind that has discarded the myths and is then able to make the best decisions for you and the life you wish to lead. True contentment, in other words, is the goal of today's posting.

26 Ways to Ensure Happy Singledom

~Each of these points are discussed in detail in the audio version of this podcast episode. I encourage you to tune in for further clarification of each point or pick up the book Happy Singlehood from which each of these points were inspired.

1.Assess honestly your self-perception of how you define loneliness and where that definition was constucted.

2. Build and continually nurture a strong social well-being

Having a strong social well-being helps eradicate or reduce social loneliness and emotional loneliness as you will have people in your life in which you feel close to and may turn to (emotional), as well as have both intimate and peripheral acquaintances that give you a sense of belonging (social).

~Listen to Episode #92 - Elements of a Strong Social Well-Being - for further discussion on the construction.

3. Conduct a life review: Self-reflect and find peace with your journey thus far

"Happy older singles [have] the ability to look back and gain control over the circumstances that led to being single".

4. Celebrate and exercise the ability to make your own decisions

5. Revel in your solitude - produce your own "show" so to speak

6. Take responsibility for your own contentment

~View a long list of archived posts and episodes on cultivating true contentment or pick up my 2nd book - Living The Simply Luxurious Life

7. Distinguish between the myths regarding marriage and singlehood and reality

Myth versus reality:

"Young people fear being physically vulnerable in old age more than elders [actually] do".

"Fifty-seven percent of the eighteen-to-sixty-four-year old population anticipate memory loss in old age, while only 25 percent of those aged sixty-five and above actually experience it. Furthermore, while 42 percent expect serious illness in old age, only 21 percent of those aged sixty-five and above experience the same."

"While an expectation of loneliness arises among 29 percent of young people, only 17 percent experience loneliness in old age."

8. Foresee and prepare for potential emergencies

In other words, financial planning - engage with it early, often and regularly, craft a living will, construct your own "family" - .

9. Engage with your community for resources, connection and engagement

10. Learn how to socially engage as a singleton in a manner that makes you feel safe and fulfilled

11. Refrain from seeing marriage as a form of "self-validation".

In other words, seek validation from within, as society's values are limiting, dynamic and generalized.

~A post you might enjoy on this topic: First, Seek Self-Approval

12. Use your time being single as a time for self-growth and development - find the road to your truest self

~A post you might enjoy on this topic: Why Not . . . Live Alone for a While?

13. Maintain and strengthen your overall health - physical and mental

~An episode you might enjoy on this topic: The Six Pillars of Good Health, episode #212

14. If you are a pet person, welcome a pet into your life.

15. Confront the fears that are causing you to assume marriage is the answer to assuage them before you get married for the wrong reasons.

16. Simply be aware of the social stigmas, discrimination and pressures placed on singles.

Doing so will enable you to confront and effectively deal with situations when they arise in a productive way to potentially bring more awareness to the realities and discrimination that exists.

17. Have a positive self-image and self-perception of your life as someone who is single

Present yourself to the world, whether at work or in your personal life as the confident and happy person that you are - some who happens to be single - knowing that is not all that defines you. Gradually, images change when we put a face to the reality.

18. Build your self-confidence

Find work and hobbies in which you feel valued and accomplished - this could be in your career, in your hobbies or in your social network. Be willing to try new things, and as you see that you can learn, change, improve and grow, you begin to realize you hold more power to cultivate the life you love than you may have realized - thus your confidence grows.

~An episode you might enjoy on the topic: Confidence: How to Gain It & Why It's Invaluable, episode #5

19. Consciously avoid the social pressure and discrimination

In other words, your attention gives validation. And if you choose not speak up, what is said or done is deemed as acceptable. Whether it is the conversations you listen to or engage in, the people you spend time with, the films you pay to see, the music you listen to, etc., your time, money and attention are powerful - give it consciously.

20. Speak up and confront discrimination when it occurs

Often people aren't even aware of their bias regarding marriage being the "best" option. Construct a parallel question to those who ask "Why are you still single?" or "I'm still keeping an eye out for you." There are some great ones in the book. Make sure to keep the comment or question equal to what was received so that the speaker can see the error of their words and assumptions.

21. Seek a career or a calling that gives you purpose, in which you feel you are contributing something of value to the world.

22. Find a balance with work and leisure

23. Let your curiosities guide you to seek out educational opportunities for growth

24. Strengthen your three pillars of good health - physical, mental and financial

25. Acknowledge and cultivate manageable household responsibilites

26. Recognize that choosing and embracing being single is not out of weakness or selfishness, but of strength and awareness to connect often more consciously.

"As singles, we know more than anybody else that true independence is actually interdependence."

We liberate ourselves when we recognize there are many different ways to live well in our modern world. And even for those who do not fully or will never accept that there is more than one traditional way to live contentedly and contribute to society positively, as well as giving ourselves the opportunity to be self-actualized, when we model the reality rather than the myth, we encourage others to explore and reach their full potential as well. A more content world is a peaceful world.

If anyone is so fortunate to find a partner to enjoy life with should they wish to and be able to reach their fullest potential without feeling they are limited, confined or lonely in something they "should" be doing, what a magnificent awesome union. Losing such a person, no matter what our age would be heartbreaking, but we can only control and strengthen ourselves, and when we strengthen the muscle of self-reflection, acknowlegement of fears rather than a suppression, we set ourselves free to live well throughout the entirity of our life's journey.

The responsibility each of us has is to not place upon someone else's shoulders that which we are capable of doing ourselves. When we take on this responsibility of cultivating our own happiness and contentment, we will see more clearly what path we truly wish to travel, we will strengthen all of our relationships as we recognize we are interconnected in large and small ways, and we will give ourselves a deep breath of relief and excitement for the next step in our journey forward.

~SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

~Why Not . . . Be A Confident Single Woman?

~Single or Married: 20 Things To Do

~The Truths & Myths of the Independent, Single Woman, episode #94

Petit Plaisir:

~Daily Rituals: Women at Work by Mason Curry

Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast

[faithfulnews]

Historical theology informs and educates present-day Bible readers

Lebanon (MNN) – Historical theology. It is a topic that seeps into every theology class an undergraduate Bible major or seminary student takes. It is the long list of questions various believers and non-believers have posed over the centuries, which led to multiple creeds for the Church to collectively understand and explain the Scriptures. Historical theology is the study of what people have said about God and God’s works through history. For Christian theology, historical theology is closely tied to the study of how Christians have understood the Word of God over the centuries. (Read more on good theology from The Gospel Coalition here.)

The “What” of Historical Theology

(Photo by Valentin Rechitean on Unsplash)

Caleb Hutcherson, faculty development lead and lecturer in historical theology at Arab Baptist Theological Seminary, is passionate about teaching historical theology to Arab evangelical students. This love for historical theology started during his studies at Dallas Theological Seminary when his class on historical theology opened up his understanding of the rich diversity of thought and practice in the history of Christianity. The course gave Hutcherson a new perspective and fresh insight into his faith. “Historical theology [demonstrates how theology] is always contextual. Part of the beauty of studying historical theology is that it really exposes how contextual and perspectival doing theology is. So, when we look at history and listen to others who have done theology in history, context is there, and their experiences are there. The use of reason is there in all kinds of different ways. [You see the] different ways of weighing reason alongside tradition in relationship to the Bible,” Hutcherson says.

Finding a Path Through History

As students of historical theology take a step back and look at the topic from a wide-angle, a traceable continuity of the beliefs and practices of Christian believers spanning the history of the Church reveals itself. At the same time, the discontinuity of beliefs and practices through history introduces students to the diversity within the Christian tradition. “We often have a tendency to think [favorably] of our own [personal] sufficiency [when reading the Bible]. So, me and my Bible, and the Holy Spirit is all that I need in order to know what to do and how to believe. That sort of rugged individualism, this...hyper-individualistic belief, that really all I need is me and the Bible, and because I’m indwelled by the Holy Spirit, then I’m set to go,” Hutcherson explains.

(Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash)

This mindset feeds the mentality in ourselves that we do not need to listen to what other people have to say about God’s Word. A belief in self means the mistakes of Christians from the past are easier to repeat. This mentality can also create a divide in the Church and isolate people from the body of Christ. Studying historical theology helps believers avoid clinging too tightly to traditions for the sake of tradition or distorting the past to hold onto concepts or practices that are unbiblical. The study of historical theology “provides us wisdom for the present and for the future.” Studying historical theology also helps believers experiment with new ideas and think carefully about new questions. One of the new ideas Hutcherson provides as an example is the Bible app. The innovation of the app offers a new way to access scripture through a new medium. This same app also raises questions of how people relate to the physical scriptures. Reading God’s Word through an app impacts how readers consume scripture as a collection of individual verses instead of a linked narrative. In this scenario, historical perspectives help the present-day Church recognize how past innovations produced both positive and negative impacts.

Historical Theology and You

(Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash)

Studying historical theology exposes an essential distinction between theology and revelation. Revelation is what God has said and done, while theology is what people say about God’s Word. Hutcherson explains historical theology helps the Church grapple with this tension. It helps untangle knots of “confusing revelation (what God says) with theology (which is what we say).” Theology is our commentary, and each person has their unique lens through which he or she views the world, God, and the Bible. “Historical theology informs our understanding of God in that it helps us recognize who’s doing theology,” Hutcherson says. Historical theology aids in distinguishing what we say God says from actual revelation. “Recognizing those subjectivities all throughout history, I think, exposes our own subjectivities towards the text and towards God’s revelation,” Hutcherson notes. But, if theology is what “we” say about what God says, then how can anyone trust any theology? Excellent question. The answer is a previously mentioned ten letter word beginning with the letter “c”— continuity.

(Photo by Anuja Mary Tilj on Unsplash)

Historical theology brings the researcher to a place of confronting his or her biases towards the text. These biases are a result of someone’s education, family, the context of their childhood, personal sin nature, cultural background, economic background, nationality, sex, race, and much more. “We’re all reading...[the] Bible, this text that’s authoritative in our lives, from these contextual perspectives...historical theology provides us is a sense of [where our reading and understanding is in] continuity with the past. It offers us a resource to compare what we’ve understood with not just those who are different from us in the present, and that’s incredibly important...but it offers us a chance to think about the continuity with those who have different perspectives or come from different perspectives in the past,” Hutcherson says. “We can never escape from our bias to the present unless we go back and pay attention to what other people said in the past. Historical theology offers us perspective outside of ourselves from the past about how to understand what God has said in scripture.”

Authority of Scripture

Historical theology exposes believers to the "presence of different perspectives." This exposure has the potential to guide Christians away from beliefs thought essential to the Christian faith, but are dogmatic and not biblically supported.

(Photo courtesy of Arab Baptist Theological Seminary)

“Through the process of studying theology historically, we come to recognize what is essential to Christian faith, as well as what is not. This challenges us to walk in humility, with a healthy sense of openness and willingness to grow and learn,” Hutcherson notes in an email. Historical theology helps broaden the Church’s understanding of God’s Word and remove blinders, which would otherwise inhibit our ability to understand the Bible. “The diversity that makes up the body of Christ is an incredible resource for us. It’s the testimony of the Holy Spirit through the diverse community of the Spirit. We desperately need to gain humility in order to learn from others within the body of Christ. Historical theology contributes that perspective from a historical perspective,” Hutcherson says.

(Photo by hannah grace on Unsplash)

“The authority of scripture is not something that we deny. We acknowledge that, and all are subject to and submit to the text of scripture. That’s a part of what constitutes this community of the Holy Spirit that interprets that scripture. “The other side of that...is that that the presence of the Holy Spirit in all of us actually challenges us to humility towards each other to recognize our own subjectivities. So, in some way, the authority of the text is held up and maintained, [while] our authority as interpreters becomes something that we [can] question, that we wrestle with, that we certainly take seriously but that we’re very cautious and careful about.”

Historical Theology on the Personal Level

(Photo by Ramy Kabalan on Unsplash)

Since Hutcherson is an American teaching in Lebanon, he has the opportunity to dialogue with Arabic-speaking followers of Christ daily about theology. These relationships provide a unique opportunity to listen to theology in the context of interfaith dialogue in a country where Christians are a minority. Historical theology is not just a topic taught in a classroom, but a way of engaging with the global body of Christ and remaining true to God’s Word. “Being in this context and wanting to do historical theology that is particularly meaningful to students in my classroom has meant pushing further into Arab Christian history and trying to understand [their engagement] with Islam [and] with Muslims,” Hutcherson says.

(Photo courtesy of ABTS)

Hutcherson comments the body of Christ has a lot to learn from the history of Arabic-speaking followers of Christ, “from both the points [of] vitality and the points of weakness and mistakes”. Learning from the diverse body of Christ helps believers “recognize attitudes and approaches that continue to shape our engagement with each other today”. Want to dig deeper into historical theology for yourself? Seminaries are always a great place to learn. A quick search through podcasts will also turn up valuable resources. However, these podcasts are ultimately based on texts, books. Hutcherson recommends the book “On The Incarnation” by Athanasius of Alexandria (d. 373). Or for a quick reference to read on a train commute, check out this list of Arab theologians for a different theological perspective. Explore studying through ABTS here! Click here to support ABTS's work and the education of its students.   Header photo by Jonny Swales on Unsplash.

Go to the article

[faithfulnews]

Historical theology informs and educates present-day Bible readers

Lebanon (MNN) – Historical theology. It is a topic that seeps into every theology class an undergraduate Bible major or seminary student takes. It is the long list of questions various believers and non-believers have posed over the centuries, which led to multiple creeds for the Church to collectively understand and explain the Scriptures. Historical theology is the study of what people have said about God and God’s works through history. For Christian theology, historical theology is closely tied to the study of how Christians have understood the Word of God over the centuries. (Read more on good theology from The Gospel Coalition here.)

The “What” of Historical Theology

(Photo by Valentin Rechitean on Unsplash)

Caleb Hutcherson, faculty development lead and lecturer in historical theology at Arab Baptist Theological Seminary, is passionate about teaching historical theology to Arab evangelical students. This love for historical theology started during his studies at Dallas Theological Seminary when his class on historical theology opened up his understanding of the rich diversity of thought and practice in the history of Christianity. The course gave Hutcherson a new perspective and fresh insight into his faith. “Historical theology [demonstrates how theology] is always contextual. Part of the beauty of studying historical theology is that it really exposes how contextual and perspectival doing theology is. So, when we look at history and listen to others who have done theology in history, context is there, and their experiences are there. The use of reason is there in all kinds of different ways. [You see the] different ways of weighing reason alongside tradition in relationship to the Bible,” Hutcherson says.

Finding a Path Through History

As students of historical theology take a step back and look at the topic from a wide-angle, a traceable continuity of the beliefs and practices of Christian believers spanning the history of the Church reveals itself. At the same time, the discontinuity of beliefs and practices through history introduces students to the diversity within the Christian tradition. “We often have a tendency to think [favorably] of our own [personal] sufficiency [when reading the Bible]. So, me and my Bible, and the Holy Spirit is all that I need in order to know what to do and how to believe. That sort of rugged individualism, this...hyper-individualistic belief, that really all I need is me and the Bible, and because I’m indwelled by the Holy Spirit, then I’m set to go,” Hutcherson explains.

(Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash)

This mindset feeds the mentality in ourselves that we do not need to listen to what other people have to say about God’s Word. A belief in self means the mistakes of Christians from the past are easier to repeat. This mentality can also create a divide in the Church and isolate people from the body of Christ. Studying historical theology helps believers avoid clinging too tightly to traditions for the sake of tradition or distorting the past to hold onto concepts or practices that are unbiblical. The study of historical theology “provides us wisdom for the present and for the future.” Studying historical theology also helps believers experiment with new ideas and think carefully about new questions. One of the new ideas Hutcherson provides as an example is the Bible app. The innovation of the app offers a new way to access scripture through a new medium. This same app also raises questions of how people relate to the physical scriptures. Reading God’s Word through an app impacts how readers consume scripture as a collection of individual verses instead of a linked narrative. In this scenario, historical perspectives help the present-day Church recognize how past innovations produced both positive and negative impacts.

Historical Theology and You

(Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash)

Studying historical theology exposes an essential distinction between theology and revelation. Revelation is what God has said and done, while theology is what people say about God’s Word. Hutcherson explains historical theology helps the Church grapple with this tension. It helps untangle knots of “confusing revelation (what God says) with theology (which is what we say).” Theology is our commentary, and each person has their unique lens through which he or she views the world, God, and the Bible. “Historical theology informs our understanding of God in that it helps us recognize who’s doing theology,” Hutcherson says. Historical theology aids in distinguishing what we say God says from actual revelation. “Recognizing those subjectivities all throughout history, I think, exposes our own subjectivities towards the text and towards God’s revelation,” Hutcherson notes. But, if theology is what “we” say about what God says, then how can anyone trust any theology? Excellent question. The answer is a previously mentioned ten letter word beginning with the letter “c”— continuity.

(Photo by Anuja Mary Tilj on Unsplash)

Historical theology brings the researcher to a place of confronting his or her biases towards the text. These biases are a result of someone’s education, family, the context of their childhood, personal sin nature, cultural background, economic background, nationality, sex, race, and much more. “We’re all reading...[the] Bible, this text that’s authoritative in our lives, from these contextual perspectives...historical theology provides us is a sense of [where our reading and understanding is in] continuity with the past. It offers us a resource to compare what we’ve understood with not just those who are different from us in the present, and that’s incredibly important...but it offers us a chance to think about the continuity with those who have different perspectives or come from different perspectives in the past,” Hutcherson says. “We can never escape from our bias to the present unless we go back and pay attention to what other people said in the past. Historical theology offers us perspective outside of ourselves from the past about how to understand what God has said in scripture.”

Authority of Scripture

Historical theology exposes believers to the "presence of different perspectives." This exposure has the potential to guide Christians away from beliefs thought essential to the Christian faith, but are dogmatic and not biblically supported.

(Photo courtesy of Arab Baptist Theological Seminary)

“Through the process of studying theology historically, we come to recognize what is essential to Christian faith, as well as what is not. This challenges us to walk in humility, with a healthy sense of openness and willingness to grow and learn,” Hutcherson notes in an email. Historical theology helps broaden the Church’s understanding of God’s Word and remove blinders, which would otherwise inhibit our ability to understand the Bible. “The diversity that makes up the body of Christ is an incredible resource for us. It’s the testimony of the Holy Spirit through the diverse community of the Spirit. We desperately need to gain humility in order to learn from others within the body of Christ. Historical theology contributes that perspective from a historical perspective,” Hutcherson says.

(Photo by hannah grace on Unsplash)

“The authority of scripture is not something that we deny. We acknowledge that, and all are subject to and submit to the text of scripture. That’s a part of what constitutes this community of the Holy Spirit that interprets that scripture. “The other side of that...is that that the presence of the Holy Spirit in all of us actually challenges us to humility towards each other to recognize our own subjectivities. So, in some way, the authority of the text is held up and maintained, [while] our authority as interpreters becomes something that we [can] question, that we wrestle with, that we certainly take seriously but that we’re very cautious and careful about.”

Historical Theology on the Personal Level

(Photo by Ramy Kabalan on Unsplash)

Since Hutcherson is an American teaching in Lebanon, he has the opportunity to dialogue with Arabic-speaking followers of Christ daily about theology. These relationships provide a unique opportunity to listen to theology in the context of interfaith dialogue in a country where Christians are a minority. Historical theology is not just a topic taught in a classroom, but a way of engaging with the global body of Christ and remaining true to God’s Word. “Being in this context and wanting to do historical theology that is particularly meaningful to students in my classroom has meant pushing further into Arab Christian history and trying to understand [their engagement] with Islam [and] with Muslims,” Hutcherson says.

(Photo courtesy of ABTS)

Hutcherson comments the body of Christ has a lot to learn from the history of Arabic-speaking followers of Christ, “from both the points [of] vitality and the points of weakness and mistakes”. Learning from the diverse body of Christ helps believers “recognize attitudes and approaches that continue to shape our engagement with each other today”. Want to dig deeper into historical theology for yourself? Seminaries are always a great place to learn. A quick search through podcasts will also turn up valuable resources. However, these podcasts are ultimately based on texts, books. Hutcherson recommends the book “On The Incarnation” by Athanasius of Alexandria (d. 373). Or for a quick reference to read on a train commute, check out this list of Arab theologians for a different theological perspective. Explore studying through ABTS here! Click here to support ABTS's work and the education of its students.   Header photo by Jonny Swales on Unsplash.

Go to the article