#and clearly the only answer they want is for us to be angry about it
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n0vazsq · 1 day ago
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Glimpse of us | AL20 x Reader
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pairing . . . arvid lindblad x ex!reader
summary . . . No matter how much time passed, how many thoughts he had, Arvid's mind always went back to you
request . . . yes!!
word count . . . 1.1k+
warnings . . . angst!
faceclaim . . . N/A
alexavia yaps . . . oh my god
taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaa ,, @httpsdana ,, @paucubarsisimp (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)
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. . . The world around him blurred as Arvid sat quietly in his hotel room, the sound of rain tapping against the window the only noise in the space.
He stared blankly at the empty coffee cup in his hands, but his mind wasn’t there. It was somewhere else entirely; with you.
It always came back to you.
He could still see you so clearly, standing on the pit wall during his race weekends, wearing one of his oversized jackets with the team’s logo. You weren’t even a part of his team, but you always found your way to him, no matter how chaotic things got.
He smiled bitterly at the memory of how your eyes would light up when you saw him, the way you’d always ask him if he was nervous even though you already knew the answer.
"It’s okay to be nervous, you know," you’d said once, your voice soft as you leaned against the wall beside him. "It just means you care about what you’re doing."
And he’d believed you, because how could he not? When you said it, everything felt easier. Safer.
But now, there was no one beside him to tell him that, no one to chase the nerves away. And it was his fault. He’d let you slip through his fingers like sand, thinking you’d always be there.
Arvid closed his eyes, and suddenly, he was back at the street of your family's house. It had been late, too late for you to be out on your own, but you’d called him, your voice shaking through the phone.
"I…I need you to pick me up," you’d said, barely above a whisper.
He’d flown out the door, barely remembering to grab his keys. When he found you, your eyes were red, your lips trembling as you stood beneath the harsh fluorescent lights of the street lamps. Without a word, you’d let him pull you into his arms, burying your face in his chest.
He didn’t ask what had happened, and you didn’t offer to tell him. He just held you, letting the silence speak for both of you.
That night, he’d driven you home, his hand resting on yours the entire ride. He’d looked at you as you sat in the passenger seat, your head resting against the window, and he’d sworn to himself that he’d always protect you. That no matter what, you’d never feel that kind of pain again.
But now, here he was, the one who’d caused it.
The rain outside grew heavier, and Arvid stood, unable to sit still anymore. He paced the room, his mind a whirlwind of memories and regrets.
He thought about the time you’d dragged him to that stupid carnival you loved so much. He hated roller coasters, but he’d gone on every single one because you wanted him to. You’d laughed so hard when he screamed on the drops, clutching his arm and calling him dramatic.
"You’re such a baby," you’d teased, your smile so wide it made his heart ache even then.
He’d rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help but grin. "You’re lucky I like you," he’d shot back, his voice light.
Looking back, he wondered if you knew even then. If you’d noticed the way his gaze lingered on you a little too long or how he always seemed to find excuses to touch you; a hand on your back, brushing your hair out of your face.
Maybe you knew. Maybe that’s why you left.
Arvid ran a hand through his hair, frustration bubbling up inside him. He was so angry, at himself, at the world, at the way he’d let everything fall apart.
He thought about how you used to calm him down, your hand on his shoulder as you whispered reassurances.
"Breathe, Arvid," you’d say, your voice like a balm to his frayed nerves. "You’ve got this."
But now, all he had was the echo of your words, bouncing around in the empty space you’d left behind.
He sank onto the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. The lyrics to a song played faintly in the back of his mind, ones he’d listened to far too many times lately:
Sometimes I look in her eyes, and that’s where I find a glimpse of us
He thought about the person who’d come into his life recently; kind, sweet, and everything he should want. But every time he looked at her, all he could see was you.
He hated himself for it, for how unfair it was to her, for how unfair it was to you. But he couldn’t stop.
The memory of the last time he saw you hit him like a punch to the gut. You’d been standing in the doorway, your arms crossed as you looked at him with a mix of sadness and resolve.
"I can’t do this anymore, Arvid," you’d said, your voice breaking just enough for him to hear it. "I can’t keep being the one who’s always waiting for you to figure things out."
He’d opened his mouth to argue, to beg you to stay, but the words never came. He didn’t know what to say.
And so, you’d walked away, leaving him standing there like an idiot.
The rain had slowed by the time Arvid finally stopped pacing. He stood by the window, staring out at the empty streets below.
He knew he couldn’t change the past, couldn’t undo the mistakes he’d made. But God, how he wished he could.
Because sometimes, in the quiet moments like this, he still looked for you. In the way the light hit the pavement, in the sound of a laugh that wasn’t yours, in the way the world seemed a little less vibrant without you in it.
And he hated himself for it, for still hoping that maybe, just maybe, you were out there somewhere, looking for him too.
"Maybe you'll start slipping slowly and find me again," he thought, the words a plea, a prayer, a hint of regret and despair lacing them.
Because no matter how much time passed, no matter how hard he tried to move on, there would always be a part of him that was waiting.
For you.
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apostate-in-an-alcove · 3 months ago
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Management trying to get all employees at my job to be upset about shoplifting but I just don't care enough to get upset about it.
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kbwrites · 3 months ago
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Breaking up is hard to do!
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synopsis: breaking up with the jjk men.
⚝characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami
⚝content: heavy angst, gaslighting(Gojo's), depression (Suguru's), mutual breakup(Nanami's)
⚝wc: 3.5k
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Satoru Gojo
“Yeah so then Yuji popped out of the crate and surprised them all! You should’ve seen it baby!” Satoru wheezes holding his stomach as he recalls the event from the day.
No matter how hard you try though, you can only muster a small smile.
It had become really hard to do much else recently. With the weight of the hundreds of tasks at work taking its toll. Satoru looks over at you, waiting for a laugh—but it doesn’t come.
“Hellooo? Everything alright princess?” He questions giving your hand a gentle squeeze.
“Mhmm!” You nod.
He looks at you for another moment, unreadable expression on his face. Satoru shifts, clearly expecting more from you. “You sure? You’ve been quiet tonight. That’s not like you,” he says, his voice still light, but there’s a hint of curiosity now.
You try to hold back the frustration, but it bubbles up anyway. “I’m just tired, Satoru.”
“Tired? Seriously?” he mutters, pulling his hand away. “You work, what, a nine-to-five? You act like you’re running yourself into the ground.”
You blink, taken aback by his dismissive tone. “Satoru, it’s not just about the hours. It’s everything piling up, and—”
“Piling up?” He cuts you off with a scoff, already reaching for his phone. “Why didn’t you just say something sooner? You know I could’ve hired someone to handle that for you. I’ve got the money. You shouldn’t be stressing over... whatever this is.”
The words sting. You knew his mind would go there. It always does—like money could just make the exhaustion disappear, like hiring someone to take care of the smaller details would magically solve everything.
“It’s not about the money, Satoru.” you snap, trying to hold onto your patience. “I don’t need someone else doing my job for me. I just... I need you to listen.”
He raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Listen? What do you expect me to say? You’re tired. I get it. But don’t act like you’re drowning when I could have fixed this a long time ago. Hell, I could’ve bought you time off or flown you somewhere. You're sittin' here sulking like I can’t take care of things.”
You clench your fists, the exhaustion now compounded by frustration. “It’s not about you fixing things, Satoru. Sometimes I just need support—not your money.”
He stares at you, eyes narrowing. “Right. So you want to feel miserable instead of letting me help. That’s real smart, princess.”
Your heart pounds in your chest as you shove clothes into your bag, the sound of zippers and drawers slamming echoing through the room. You can feel Satoru’s presence behind you, hovering, but you don’t stop. You can’t. Not after that.
“C'mon, princess.” he says, his voice exasperated, like he’s the one who's supposed to be annoyed. “What are you doing? Where do you think you’re going?”
You don’t answer, your hands moving faster, yanking more clothes off hangers, ignoring the sting behind your eyes. You’re so angry you can barely breathe.
“I’ll book us a trip,” Satoru tries again, a hint of desperation creeping into his usually arrogant tone. “How about Paris? We’ll stay at that five-star hotel you like, the one with the private balcony. You love that place.”
Your jaw clenches. “This isn’t about a vacation, Satoru,” you snap, stuffing the last of your things into the bag. “It’s not about your money or your fancy hotels.”
“Then what is it about?” he shoots back, his voice rising with frustration. “You’re acting like I haven’t given you everything. "What more do you want?"
You freeze, bag halfway zipped, your body trembling as you turn to face him. His icy blue eyes are wide, confused, and maybe even a little hurt, but you’re beyond caring. “I want you to see me!” you shout, the words tearing out of you, louder than you intended. “I don’t need you to throw money at the problem! I need you to actually understand what I’m going through!”
Satoru stares at you, speechless for once. His mouth opens, but no words come out. He looks almost... shocked, like he can’t comprehend that his money, his status, can’t fix this. That he can’t fix this.
“Do you even care?” you ask, your voice quieter now, but no less angry. “Do you care about how I feel? Or is it just easier for you to throw cash at me until I stop complaining?”
He’s silent, his gaze hardening as he crosses his arms. “I’m trying to help. What else do you want me to do?”
“I want you to listen!” You throw your hands up in frustration, feeling more alone than ever. “I don’t want your money. I don’t want trips or fancy dinners. I want you to care about me, Satoru. Not just the idea of me.”
His lips press into a thin line, but he says nothing. The silence is louder than any of his words.
As your hand grips the doorknob, ready to leave, Satoru’s voice cuts through the silence, sharp and bitter.
“Right, run off to Shoko’s.” he scoffs, his arms crossed defensively. “You always do this, don’t you? The moment things get tough, you bolt. Guess it’s easier to complain to her than actually deal with me.”
His words hit you like a punch to the gut, stopping you in your tracks. You turn slowly to face him, disbelief clouding your vision. He’s standing there, arms folded, arrogance in his posture.
“I always do this?” you repeat, your voice trembling with anger. “I’ve stayed through everything, Satoru!"
“You’re just like Suguru.” Satoru spits out, the words dripping with bitterness and desperation.
Your hand freezes on the handle. You weren’t expecting that. Slowly, you turn to look at him, and the mask of arrogance has cracked. His eyes are wild, wide with something close to panic. “Running away the moment things get hard,” he continues, his voice shaking slightly. “Is that it? Just gonna leave like he did?”
Your heart skips a beat, anger fading for a moment as something else stirs inside you. You’ve seen Satoru angry before, frustrated, even cold—but this? This is different.
“That’s not fair.” you say quietly, though the anger still simmers beneath the surface. “I’m not leaving because things are hard. I’m leaving because you’re not listening.”
Satoru’s eyes narrow, his lips pressing into a hard line. Then he snaps, his voice cutting through the tension like a blade, sharp and cold. “Well, fine. Go. I survived him abandoning me, I’ll survive you too.”
His words sting, burning through the air with a finality that makes your breath hitch. It’s a challenge, a defense—his way of masking the fear that’s clawing at him from the inside out. He’s pushing you away before you can leave, just like he’s done with everything else that’s threatened to crack his carefully controlled world.
You stand there, frozen for a moment, staring at him as his walls rise higher, shutting you out. This is what it’s come to. He’s too scared to let you in, too scared to admit that you leaving isn’t something he can just survive—that it’s something that terrifies him.
But he won’t say it. He won’t ask you to stay.
And that’s when you know.
Suguru Geto
You rest under the comfort of your blanket. How many days have you been in this bed? Three days? Four? 
The world was just too much right now, and your room was the only security available. It had been a week since Suguru vanished without a word, leaving behind nothing but unanswered questions and broken trust. Principal Yaga’s words still echoed in your mind—a whole village slaughtered, his parents among the dead. 
And not even a text.
You weren’t sure if he was even alive, maybe it would be better if he wasn’t. At least then you wouldn’t have to come to terms with the fact that the love of your life was now a wanted killer.
You took another tissue from the box, blowing into it and tossing the crumpled mess into the garbage can.
Satoru hadn’t responded either, was he okay? Did he know?
Your mind screamed for silence, for the thoughts to stop, but they kept coming, relentless.
“Angel?”
That voice… no it couldn’t be. You lower the covers from your face.
It was
“Hi baby...” his normally soothing voice does little to alleviate the ache in your chest.
“You…” your voice barely a whisper, threatening to break. “I thought you were dead.”
He moves closer, his footsteps barely making a sound on the floor, and you finally take him in. Despite everything, despite the horrors you’ve been told, he looks… normal.
How could he look so much like the Suguru you knew, the Suguru you loved, when everything inside of you was shattered?
Was this the same man who held you close? Whispered sweet nothings in your ear—promised to protect you with his life? 
“It’s me, (Y/N).”  he says softly, his voice cutting through the silence as if he had read your thoughts.
The tenderness in his tone feels like a knife twisting in your chest. How could he say that—so casually, so easily? Like everything was normal, like your world hadn’t come crashing down around you. You blink, trying to force the tears back, trying to find the right words, but nothing comes.
“Are you?” your voice is small, barely more than a whisper. Doubt lingers in every syllable.
He doesn’t respond to your question. Instead, his gaze softens, and without a word, he pulls the covers off of you. The cold air rushes over your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth you had buried yourself in, and for a moment you flinch, instinctively clutching the blanket before you let it slip from your fingers.
His eyes trace over your fragile form, and there’s something in them—a flicker of sympathy, regret, even—but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s the reason for your downward spiral. He knows it too. The weight of it presses on him, though he doesn’t say a word. Instead, he moves with a gentleness you hadn’t expected, sliding his arms under you and lifting you up as if you weighed nothing.
You want to protest, want to ask what he thinks he’s doing, but you’re too tired, too drained to fight. So you let him carry you. His arms are steady, and despite everything, you can’t help but melt in his embrace.
He takes you into the bathroom, the sound of running water filling the space as he sets you down gently. You can feel the cool tile under your feet as he kneels in front of the tub, turning the faucet on and testing the temperature.
You had so many things you wanted to say. You wanted to yell at him, curse him, ask him why. But you couldn’t.
He dips his hand under the stream, adjusting the temperature until it’s just right. His movements are deliberate, methodical, as if this is the only way he knows how to show you any kind of care right now.
You stand there, numb and silent, watching him. The man who destroyed your world, now kneeling before you, acting as though he can piece it back together with something as simple as a bath. It feels absurd, almost cruel, but at the same time, you don’t have the strength to stop him.
Suguru rises to his feet, his presence towering yet calm as he began to undress you. Gentle hands pulling his t-shirt off of you, the one you had been clinging onto for days.
His hands brush lightly against your skin as he lifts the shirt over your head, sending a shiver down your spine.
He had seen you in this state before, many times. But this….this was different.
Suguru guides you to the shower, washing your body with a gentleness you missed so deeply.
You close your eyes, letting him take care of you, even though you don’t understand why or how he can. The silence between you grows heavier with every passing second, filled with words unspoken and emotions too tangled to sort out.
Finally, you speak, your voice barely audible over the sound of the water. “Why are you here, Suguru?”
His hand pauses for a moment, the washcloth resting against your skin. You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, but when he answers, his voice is low, steady, like he’s speaking more to himself than to you.
“Because I….I love you” His voice almost too quiet, as if he’s afraid to say the words out loud.
“Then why, Suguru?” your voice trembles, almost breaking under the weight of your next words. “Is it true? You killed those people?”
The washcloth falls from his hand, splashing into the water as the silence between you deepens. He doesn’t speak right away, and the hesitation in his silence is an answer in itself.
You swallow hard, the air thick with the weight of the truth you already know but can’t bear to accept.
“They were… in the way,” he finally admits, his voice low, almost hollow.
You step out of the shower, the warm water sliding off your skin in slow rivulets. Without thinking, you reach for the towel, wrapping it tightly around yourself like armor.
This isn’t the man you loved, the one who spoke of protecting the weak, of valuing life. Yet, there’s something so heartbreakingly familiar in the way he says it—like a twisted version of the Suguru you knew, now wrapped in darkness.
“But those were people, Suguru,” you say, your voice fragile, as if you’re trying to reach the man you once knew beneath the monster he’s become. “Innocent people. How could you…?”
He takes a deep breath, stepping closer to you, his hand brushing against your skin, cold and distant. “Because this world is broken.” he murmurs. “And I need to fix it. I had to do it. Can’t you see that? We—sorcerers—we’re meant for something greater. And they… they were holding us back.”
You shake your head, tears brimming in your eyes. “I don’t understand, Suguru. I don’t understand any of this.”
He steps closer, his hand cupping your face gently, as though trying to reassure you with his touch. "Come with me." he whispers, his voice softer now, pleading. “Run away with me. Together, we can build something new. You don’t have to be a part of this broken world anymore. We can leave it all behind.”
Before you can respond, his lips press against yours, a kiss that’s both gentle and urgent, as though he’s trying to pour every unsaid word, every plea, into this one moment. It’s the Suguru you remember—the Suguru who once made you feel safe, loved.
But the reality of who he’s become crashes down on you.
You pull away, your hands pressed firmly against his chest, creating a wall between you. “No.” you whisper, your voice breaking. “I can’t.”
For a moment, Suguru just stands there, staring at you, his dark eyes searching yours for something—some kind of understanding, some sign that you’ll change your mind. His hand lingers on your cheek, his touch softer now, almost hesitant, as though he’s trying to hold on to whatever connection is left.
But then, slowly, he withdraws, his hand falling back to his side. He straightens up, his expression hardening as he steps away from you, giving you the space you so desperately need. The softness in his eyes fades, replaced by the cold determination you’ve seen before.
“You’ll see,” he says, his voice quiet, but there’s a sharp edge to it now. “One day, you’ll understand. When you see what I’ve seen, when you finally understand the truth about this world—you’ll come around. I know you will.”
His words hang heavy in the air, and without another glance, he turns and walks toward the door, leaving you standing alone, trembling in the silence.
Nanami Kento
Kento was an honest man. There was nothing he ever kept from you. Other people might view him as a hard shell, but you could read him like a book.
So when he came to bed that night, holding you just a little tighter than usual—you knew something was up.
You shifted slightly in his embrace, his grip tightening instinctively as if he feared you might slip away.
“Kento?” you asked softly, your voice breaking the stillness of the room. 
“I’ve decided to talk to Gojo tomorrow.” he said quietly, his voice steady but with a hint of resolve. “I want to return to being a sorcerer.”
The words hung in the air, sinking into you like lead. You stiffened, a sharp sting blooming in your chest as you processed his decision.
“Are you seriously considering this?” Your voice trembled with a mix of hurt and disbelief. “You know what that life entails. You’ve seen the consequences. Are you really willing to go back to that danger?”
Kento’s silence was heavier than any response he could have given. His arms, though still holding you close, seemed distant now, as if they were reaching out from across a chasm of uncertainty.
“I’ve thought it through,” he said finally, though his tone lacked the conviction he tried to project. “I need to do this for myself. I can’t keep pretending I’m satisfied with where I am.”
The last words echoed in your ears their weight sinking deep into your heart. “So you’re not satisfied with me?” you whispered, barely able to speak past the knot forming in your throat.
Kento’s eyes widened in shock. “No, that’s not what I meant—”
“Then what is it, Kento?” you demanded, frustration and hurt sharpening your words. “We have something good here. You have a good job. You left Jujustu High for a reason! What about Haibara—”
At the mention of Haibara, Kento’s face hardened. His eyes, which had been searching for the right words, now burned with anger and frustration. “Don’t.”
Your eyes widen at his tone. He sighs, trying to catch himself. “This…isn’t about him, or his fate. It’s about my own path, my own choices. You think I’m risking everything without knowing the cost?”
 “And what do you expect me to do, Kento?” Your voice cracked, raw emotion rising as you slid out of bed, unable to lie still any longer. “Sit at home and worry about you? Not knowing if you’re going to come back in one piece? I can’t live like that! I can’t live every day with the fear that you might not come back, that you might be hurt or worse?”
The silence that followed was suffocating. You paced the room, your emotions boiling over, while Kento sat still, his gaze following you but offering no solace.
“You’re asking me to accept a life where every day is a gamble with your safety!” You stopped, turning to face him, your chest heaving with emotion. “How am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to pretend everything’s okay when the reality is that you might not come back to me? This isn’t just about you, Kento. It’s about us, our future!”
Kento ran a hand through his blond locks, frustration etched into every line of his face. “I’m not asking you to pretend it’s okay. I’m asking you to understand that this is something I need to do for myself, even if it means risking everything.”
You blinked, tears blurring your vision as his words sank in. “And what if everything we have is the cost?”
The question lingered, echoing in the space between you. Kento rose from the bed, standing tall before you, but the weight of the moment seemed to bow his shoulders.
He stepped closer, his hands trembling slightly as they cupped your face. His eyes, filled with a deep sadness, searched yours, looking for understanding that he knew might never come. “I love you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “You need to know that.”
You shook your head, your voice breaking. “But that isn’t enough… is it? It never will be…”
There was a heavy silence between you, the weight of your words pressing down on both of you.
“I… can’t watch you throw your life away, Kento.”
He took a deep breath, the sound heavy with resignation. "Then… we’ve both made our decision."
His hands, which had held you with such tenderness, felt distant as you pulled away. You took a step back, a sob catching in your throat.
He opens his mouth, but no words come out with a trembling breath, he stepped forward and gently pulled you into his arms. The embrace was tender, filled with the weight of finality.
He buried his face in the curve of your neck, inhaling your scent one last time as if trying to imprint it into his memory. The warmth of his body, once a comfort, now felt like a dagger in your chest.
“I’m sorry.” he whispered, his voice strained. The words were barely audible, but the sentiment hung heavy in the air.
Kento lingered for a moment, his hand sliding from your back to gently cup your face. His thumb brushed away the tear you hadn’t realized had fallen, and his expression softened with a promise you weren’t sure either of you could believe.
“I’ll come back,” he whispered, his voice strained but resolute. “Somehow… I’ll find my way back to you. One day.”
You clung to him for a moment longer, feeling the ache of goodbye in every fiber of your being, before he slowly pulled away. Leaving you.
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2K notes · View notes
5sospenguinqueen · 6 months ago
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Emotional Range Of A Teaspoon | Pierre Gasly
Summary: What right does he have to feel angry at the sight of Y/N and Charles? The answer is none. After all, she's only his best friend. Isn't she?
Warnings: Swearing. Angst. Fluff. Jealousy. One suggestive comment
No faceclaim but British reader. 2024 timeline
F1 Masterlist
Requested: Yes (sorry it's a little late)
This one actually comes with a tiny text paragraph mid-way through
━━━━ ༻𖥸༺ ━━━━
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Replies to @ PierreGASLY
Charles_Leclerc c’mon mate, it’s only been two days 
→ PierreGASLY a whole lifetime 
→ ItsYN i can’t even remember what you look like 
→ Charles_Leclerc and the people say that i am the dramatic one 
AlpineF1Team think you can channel that pain into some points this weekend?
→ PierreGASLY why aren’t you taking my pain seriously 
→ AlpineF1Team do you want us to schedule you an appointment with the counsellor?
→ ItsYN i don’t think that counsellor gets paid enough to listen to him
User1 ouch, talk about friendzoned 
→ User2 no, no, they’re in the denial stage of their friends to lovers arc
Replies to @ ItsYN
PierreGASLY i can still hear your voice
→ PierreGASLY although i’m glad you’re not making me suffer through the lost boys again
→ ItsYN okay first off, you love that movie. and second, because of that, i’m telling everyone you cried watching cars 3
→ PierreGASLY traitor!
→ LiamLawson30 as any man would!
Charles_Leclerc don’t worry y/n, i’ll have movie night with you 
→ ItsYN are you going to make me watch harry potter again?
→ Charles_Leclerc yes..?
→ ItsYN @ PierreGASLY come back please 
Replies to @ Charles_Leclerc
User3 not charles tweeting this the day after the canadian gp. y/n missed the canadian gp and you can tell poor charles had to hear all about it 
ItsYN we all know i would be the soldier and pierre would be the doting housewife crying on the platform 
→ PierreGASLY and i would look radiant doing so
Max33Verstappen he wouldn’t shut up about her during the driver’s parade. i tried to walk off and he followed me!
→ PierreGASLY i was in the middle of a sentence!
→ danielricciardo mate you know it’s bad when yapstappen needs you to stop talking
ItsYN stop talking about me. you're making it sound like we're friends
→ Charles_Leclerc excuse me but you know you want to be my bestie
→ PierreGASLY you can’t have her. she’s mine. i saw her first. shotgun or whatever you monagasques say for dibs 
→ GeorgeRussell63 actually i saw her first; her brother was my teammate when we were kids so 
→ PierreGASLY and just for that, i’m unfollowing you 
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Replies to @ CHICKEN!!
User4 whoever took this photo needs to go straight to jail. not y’all making it seem like charles and y/n are a sneaky item
User5 i knew she was shady, talking about how she couldn't make it only to end up in the winning driver’s garage 
PierreGASLY oh 
→ User6 wait no, pierre, come back. look at other tweets about this please
User7 stop being a shit stirrer. he’s literally got his other arm wrapped around alex ‘cause he was guiding the two of them through a ton of fans but that’s conveniently been cropped out 
Replies to @ BRAKKEEE
User8 i can’t believe people were trying to convince us ynarles was real when it’s clearly ynex
User9 love that charles was literally only there to keep them safe from fans and after that they were like ‘you’re done babe. now we run off into the sunset’ 
User10 watching him chase after them was so funny tho because he was literally yelling “let me play too” 
Replies to @ ItsYN
User11 oh no, we’re so sorry. we were just so happy to see you 
→ User12 yeah and pierre would’ve been happy to see her as well if you hadn’t blasted her all over the internet 
→ User13 pierre didn't exactly look all that happy though. he wouldn’t stop glaring at poor charles  
→ User12 maybe because you guys made it seem like his best friend lied to him to be with charles
Thumb aimlessly swiping at the screen of his phone, Pierre scanned the tweets as they passed, making note of a cute waffle shop in Monaco that he knew Y/N would love. Nothing of note appeared to have been posted as most of the Grid were waiting to hear where Sainz had signed. Hand halting, Pierre’s eyes flickered across the screen once. Twice. And then a third time just to be sure. His last message to Y/N had gone unanswered and now there was a picture of her on Twitter, claiming to be from today. With Charles’ arm around her. His teeth sank into his bottom lip, and a derisive scoff filled his driver’s room. What happened to being unable to book the time off work, he thought bitterly to himself. Instead she was in the Paddock with a red-clad arm wrapped around her. Before he could restrain himself, he had clicked on the ‘reply’ button. A knock at the door pulled him from his downward spiral, preventing him from looking further into the comments gushing about how cute his best friend and closest F1 friend looked as a couple. 
“Pierre, time to warm up.”
“D’accord.”
He locked his phone before dumping it onto the massage table, storming out of his driver’s room, unaware that if he had scrolled down another two posts, he would’ve seen a picture of Y/N with Alexandra and a tweet from the woman herself. 
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ItsYN just posted
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, estebanocon and others
ItsYN an amazing weekend in barcelona watching my best friend do his thing and achieve some well-deserved points. a huge thank you to charles and alex for helping me sneak into the paddock last-minute tagged: pierregasly, charles_leclerc and alexandrasaintmleux 
553 comments
alpinef1team our favourite things rolled into one post 
→ ItsYN mine too! 
→ User1 sis, get off the floor 
estebanocon should i be offended that you wearing my cap didn’t make the post 
→ ItsYN shh i can’t have my people thinking i have friends other than pear 
danielricciardo PIERRE GASSLLLYYYYY
→ ItsYN go thirst over him on his posts. my insta is a 310 free zone
→ danielricciardo just admit that you’re jealous of our love and move on
→ ItsYN was he publicly crying over missing YOU? i don’t think so 
→ danielricciardo that’s because i’m a better friend than you and i’ve been here the whole time
→ ItsYN blocked 
alexandrasaintmleux thank you for trusting me with the surprise! 
→ ItsYn thank you for being so wonderful and helping 🩷 (and stopping charles from throttling me)
→ charles_leclerc it’s because you wouldn’t stop saying thank you and asking me if i was “sure that it’s no bother” to help you 
→ It’sYN sorry for being considerate! 
User2 not to be that person but has anyone else noticed that pierre hasn’t commented?
→ User3 i'm getting the feeling that, despite all his online complaining, he wasn’t overly excited to see his best friend this weekend? 
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User4 not the f1wags posting her, they know the truth
→ User5 what truth. it doesn’t look they’re even friends anymore
User7 it’s the way she looks like she’s trying to explain/talk to him and he’s just yelling at her 
→ User8 i used to root for them to get together but now that he’s yelled at her :/
User9 y/n is stronger than me because if a man pointed his finger like that at me, i’d savagely bite it off 
User10 uh, who does he think he is talking to y/n l/n that way
User11 i bet it’s because he thought y/n was there for charles and got jealous 
→ User12 i’ve connected the dots
→ User13 you ain’t connected shit
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User14 idk which one i want to be more
→ User15 that’s because you want to be their third instead 
User16 i’m thirsty. anyone else thirsty
LandoNorris oh god my eyes
→ danielricciardo this is why you should stop looking at x rated things on the internet 
→ User17 what happened to your pr training?
→ Charles_Leclerc what happened to pierre’s?
User18 if only he could transfer this kind of passion onto the track 
User19 uh, the clarity of the third one?? did admin take this and then leak it online? 
→ AlpineF1Team i'm afriad that we’re finding out along with you guys but we’re not gonna pretend like we weren’t rooting for this 
ItsYN why am i trending on twitter?
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ItsYN just posted
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, lilymhe and others
ItsYN my little pain au chocolat 💕
845 comments
pierregasly we talked about you calling me pastries 
→ ItsYn yes, we did. and i didn’t take into account anything you said
→ pierregasly you are very lucky you're cute
→ ItsYN it's gotten me far in life
User1 talk about a hard launch
→ User2 they weren’t really given the choice considering they were caught snogging all over barcelona last weekend
alpinef1team pierre repping the alpine colours 
→ ItsYN release your chokehold on my man
→ alpinef1team no, you release your chokehold on our man 
→ ItsYN what happened to being supportive of this?
→ alpinef1team that was before all he did was yap about you!
lilymhe babe, this isn’t you. get up and come back to me 
→ ItsYN i’m sorry but i don’t think i can come back from this 
→ lilymhe what about us, what about everything we’ve been through
→ ItsYN you know i never wanted to hurt you
→ alex_albon @ pierregasly guess i’ll be seeing you at the next karaoke marathon 
→ pierregasly only if you sing breaking free with me
→ ItsYN this is why i love you
landonorris let’s take a moment for our fallen soldier… we lost an honourable brit to a french man
→ pierregasly it’s not my fault that i have charm and you don’t 
→ danielricciardo i didn’t realise charm meant having a tantrum when she asks your friend for help to surprise you 
→ pierregasly we agreed not to speak of that! 
→ ItsYN i don’t think you’re living this one down, macaron
charles_leclerc can you tell him to put his clothes back on, please
→ ItsYN i tried but he seems incapable of keeping them on around me
→ pierregasly charles is just jealous of my amazing physique 
→ charles_leclerc best you not talk about jealousy 
User4 @ ItsYN i love that they’ve not had a chance to pr train you yet
→ ItsYN never! 
User5 and they called me crazy when i said friends to lovers! 
→ ItsYN tbf hun, so did we. it took us a minute
→ User6 so pierre is slow on and off the track 
→ pierregasly hey! 
pierregasly just posted
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liked by charles_leclerc, yukitsunoda0511 and others
pierregasly from movie nights to drunken karaoke, i would go on any adventure with you 
1,454 comments
ItsYN my best friend and my love 
→ alexandrasaintmleux i thought i was your best friend 
→ ItsYN i’m not allowed to post shirtless pics of you online though
→ charles_leclerc no you are not! 
→ User7 i hope pr never got ahold of her
→ alpinef1team she has an appointment with them on thursday
yukitsunoda0511 is this what they call simping?
→ pierregasly no
→ ItsYN yes
maxverstappen1 does this mean you’ll stop talking about her during driver’s parades?
→ pierregasly no 
→ yukitsunoda0511 he’ll just stop talking about whether she’s interested in any of us 
→ ItsYN he did that?
→ pierregasly no!
→ maxverstappen1 yes, the latest victim was logan
→ charles_leclerc actually i was the latest victim, and i will remain the most famous. my jealousy era is forever captured on the internet 
→ logansargeant @ pierregasly is that why you kept asking me what i thought about her?
landonorris you guys are kinda cute when you’re not yelling at her 
→ ItsYN please stop saying this. i'm the one who has to listen to him apologise over and over for the millionth time
→ pierregasly because i feel bad! 
→ ItsYN omg i know! 
danielricciardo mate, we get it. she’s your girl now but you can let go of her for two seconds. she’s not going to disappear
→ pierregasly it’s called a healthy attachment
→ ItsYN he says whilst cuddled into my neck and following me to the bathroom
lilymhe she’s so hot, drop me her @ please
→ pierregasly back off
→ ItsYN i’m right here bby girl. let me take out on a date 
→ charles_leclerc careful lily or he might start yelling at you next 
alpinef1team we’ve been asked by an anonymous source that you all refrain from discussing previous events. reparations have been made and it’s been advised that such an event remain in the past 
→ danielricciardo lol he ran to mom
→ landonorris anonymous source, my ass. just tag him
→ georgerussell63 this is so lame
→ alex_albon mate, this is more obvious than pierre’s jealousy 
→ charles_leclerc even i cannot support him through this 
→ ItsYN i love you, my little croissant, but i cannot pretend that this is normal
→ pierregasly ultimate betrayal
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Sorry if this wasn’t angst enough. Humour and fluff are more my forte.
As always, F1 requests open for the current grid and retired drivers.
Tag list
@peachiicherries @rosecentury
(A huge thank you to both of you for wanting to be added to all f1 posts. It means a lot)
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thebestsetter · 6 months ago
Text
Isagi loves your thighs. And even though he isn't the type of guy to answer "personality" when asked "Boobs, thighs or ass?", he doesn't want to outright say how attracted he feels to them, mainly because he doesn't want you to think he only cares about your body (even though you know he doesn't).
So, imagine how heavenly it felt the first time he got to sleep on your lap. He remembers it as if it happened yesterday.
He had come home after a tough day of practice, in which his coach seemed even more angry than usual and just determined to make the whole team's day a living hell. Everything in him was aching, from his back to his feet, and he could swear he had a fever or something, because his head was starting to throb too. All Isagi wanted to do was get home and lay down, even if it means sleeping without showering (which shows just how tired he was).
"Honey? You're home!" he heard you saying from the kitchen "Welcome home!"
He tried to answer your sweet voice welcoming him home. He really did. But his mouth just wouldn't answer his brain's commands. So, he was just standing, staring at you with his mouth wide open, looking like an idiot.
"Isagi? Are you feeling alright?"
He couldn't even register what he was doing, but the next thing he knew, he walked closer to you. His body was just moving on it's own, as if being as close to you as possible was as natural for him as breathing.
"Sweetie, you're starting to scare me. Do you need to go to the doctor? Did something happen today at practice?"
He couldn't resist the urge to hug you anymore, even though he was trying to restrain himself because he was still stinky from practice and he knew just how much you hated it when he hugged or kissed you without showering first. He couldn't explain it, but you looked so huggable at the moment! He took a step closer, hugging you tight and burying his face in the crook of your neck, innaling deeply and letting out a satisfied sigh. One of his hands was travelling your waist while the other was playing with the hem of your shirt.
"Yoichi!" you exclaimed, voice worried yet still not loud enough to make his head ache even more (he doesn't even think your voice will ever be capable of doing him any harm) "You're burning up! You have a fever! I can't believe it, I told you to take better care of yourself!"
Ah. So he was right. He had a fever. That's why training was so hard today.
"Hm" he muttered, still with his head in your neck. He closed his eyes, enjoying the moment you both were having.
"Stay at the couch, I'll go grab some medicine at the bathroom."
"Noooo, don't leave me here" he said, clearly affected by his sickness. It looks like his mouth finally started to work again. "I don't want to be away from youuuu"
"Yoichi, my honey, you're clearly not thinking straight right now. But I won't go away! I'll be back in like 30 seconds. Sit on the couch and count, I swear it won't take long"
He sighed, but complied anyway, sitting at the couch and waiting (im)patiently.
You were right, because in almost no time you came back with pills and a cup of water. If there was a sport where the champion had to be the person who brought a glass of water and medicine to their sick boyfriend the fastest, you would win, Isagi thought (and that thought made him strangely proud).
"Here. Drink it up" he obeyed
"Everything hurts"
"I know it does, love. What you need right now is sleep. Come here" you said, patting your lap. If Yoichi was in his right mind, he would've blushed hard and maybe even denied at first, but he wasn't. He just wanted to rest, and he always dreamed about laying in your lap. So, he quickly grasped the opportunity.
And boy was it as good as he imagined it would be. Even better, actually. Your thighs were fluffier than any other pillows he had ever used before, and he felt like he could hibernate there. And as if it couldn't get any better, you started playing with his hair. He was in heaven. He couldn't even fell the pain anymore, and he was sure it wasn't just the medicine doings.
"I love your thighs" he admitted, a honesty he wouldn't have when he was healthy, which made you chuckle "And I love you too. Thank you." He kissed the inner part of your thigh to show you just how serious he was about it
"I love you too, Yoichi. Now, rest. We don't want the best striker of the world to be sick all week, do we?"
"If it means getting to lay on your lap everyday, I would be sick my whole life"
"You're silly"
"And you're the love of my life"
"Good night, Isagi"
"Good night, my love"
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a-pute11as · 2 months ago
Text
stubborn pt 2
summary - part 2 of stubborn, part 1 can be found here
warnings - 18+ MDNI smut, more stalker texts, angst, very possessive alexia, but a cute happy ending
words - 3247
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i was sitting on the sofa inbetween cata’s legs with her arms wrapped around me, tears staining my face with a heavy chest. the blinds were down and the only light was coming from the salt lamp in the corner of the room and the tv that was being used as background noise. i could feel my phone buzzing, but that was the least of my focus right now. 
“none of this is your fault, she used you” cata said, running her hand up and down my arms. 
“i let it happen, i was upset about the incident, mapi and i went to a bar and she was there” i sniffled, “it was just meant to be a one time thing but she kept texting and I felt bad and it kept going from there”.
“at least you found out now rather than a couple months later” cata said, doing her best to soothe me. 
“i’m going to sound like a terrible person but -“ i hesitated before remembering that cata wasn’t in a place to judge me, “i just needed a distraction from the whole incident” i confessed. 
“i know how much that affected you, i think we could all see the way it hurt you�� she agreed, her hands moving to run through my hair. 
cata had been someone i instantly clicked with after moving to barcelona, quickly becoming my best friend. she helped me build all the furniture in the flat, helped with my spanish lessons and held me when i cried over a women who i thought i had a chance with. clearly not. cata did know all the techniques to help me open up and relax though, which i was very grateful for. 
“did you ever talk to ale about why she did what she did?” i asked, sinking into her chest as i relaxed somewhat. 
“nena, you’re so oblivious, she’s been into you for ages, she was just too scared about how that would effect your friendship” she explained, but that still didn’t answer my question. 
“you know i won’t ever believe that until she’s the one saying it, but did you talk to her?” i asked again, pressing for an answer. 
“honestly, no i haven’t” she replied, i instantly huffed, “but i did overhear her tell jenni that she wanted to make it right” she added. 
as she finished speaking my phone buzzed again, prompting me to pick it up. 
10m ago - unknown number : i don’t think you know how angry i am about what she did to you
she took advantage of what’s mine 
i hate seeing my pretty girl hurt
now - unknown number : i need to know you’re okay 
i’m coming over 
my heart rate sped up, the texts reminded me of alexia. her words rang through my head, they matched the exact phrasing of the texts i had been sent earlier. surely it couldn’t be her? 
and who the fuck was about to turn up at my apartment?
“everything okay?” cata said, peering over my shoulder, “wait who is that?” she asked, her voice filled with a sense of worry. 
i hesitated to answer her, not really knowing the right answer myself “um, i don’t know” i whispered. 
“you don’t know?” she questioned, raising an eyebrow. 
i was quick to turn myself around to face her before i started my explanation on the possibility of who it was, until i was stopped by a knock on the door. my eyebrows furrowed at cata as i internally questioned how that happened so fast, which she shrugged in response. i motioned for her to open it, just in case my stalker had showed up and it ended up being creepy old man that was here to kill me and not the women i’d be pining over.
“alexia, uh what a surprise to see you here” cata said, as her eyes flickering between alexia standing at door and me still sat on the sofa.
my eyes instantly widened. 
“can i come in?” she asked.
“I don’t think that’s up to me” cata said, awkwardly using her body to block alexia’s view of me. 
“cata” she sighed, “can you just ask her”.
cata turned to me in hopes of an answer, causing me to nod in response. with that she moved out of the way to allow alexia to come in. 
“well I’ll wait in my car” cata said, before picking up her stuff and heading out of my apartment to give us some space.
“hola” she said, pulling her same awkward stance from earlier, her hand rubbing the back of her neck as her eyes darted around the room, trying to find something to focus on. 
“if we are going to speak about this could you at least sit down?” i asked, shuffling myself further along the sofa so she had somewhere to sit. 
she sat down but still held an awkward demeanour, sitting herself just on the edge of the sofa, finding absolutely no comfort in the place we once would spend hours wrapped up with each other. 
“please can you just give me a single reason why this all happen, one day we were spending every free second with each other and the next it’s like i don’t exist” i explained, my voice shaking slightly from the mix of emotions being felt throughout my body.
“i thought it’d be awkward” she replied, very bluntly, her voice staying monotone. 
i sighed, “alexia, you’ve seen every part of me, why would a drunk kiss make it awkward, if you regretted it then i would’ve just ignored the fact it happened, but -“ she quickly cut me off.
“that’s why, i didn’t want it to be just a drunk kiss, i didn’t want you to see it as a mistake, i kissed you because i’ve wanted to do it for a long time, do you know how painful it was sitting here with you for hours and not being able to do exactly what i wanted to do” 
“okay but -“ she cut me off again.
“no y/n, you had your go to speak, let me talk” i nodded, she took a minute to adjust herself, appearing more comfortable as she directed her body in my direction.
“we would always talk about the moments we would see each other at international games or champions league games before we really knew each other and how we couldn’t have expected to turn into such ‘good friends’ but i’ve never wanted to be just friends with you.” she took a deep breath. “do you know how hard it is to have you so close to me and not do exactly what I want to you, to not touch you how I want to touch you, to not be able to feel you in the ways i’ve dreamt about, every minute has felt like torture.”
before my mind could even process what she was saying, my body did, my legs instantly pressed together looking for some kind of friction as she spoke.
“the night we kissed was everything i wanted and more, seeing you exactly how i imagined, in my bed was like a dream, i could’ve pinched myself, but we were drunk and i wanted to remember every second of it and i wanted you to remember it too, i wanted it to happen, but not like that” 
“ale i wanted it too, but why did you ignore me after? and then ask for space? that's what confused me” i admitted.
“i think i was ashamed of myself, it was like i lost out on my chance, i could’ve woke up, made you breakfast in bed and asked you on a proper date, but instead i rushed you out and ignored you, yo era una idiota, lo siento mucho. sé que no te merezco después de mis acciones, pero por favor perdóname.” 
i sat with her answer for a minute, processing what she said and the apology that came with it, yet that didn’t explain everything, “can i ask you a question?” 
“si, anything” she nodded, now leaning against the sofa as if she found some comfort in telling me how she felt.
“were the texts from you?” i questioned, raising my eyebrows.
“si” was all she responded.
“por que?” i asked, switching to spanish in hopes that it’d give her prompt for a real answer. 
“i was jealous, you’re mine and that didn’t change just because we weren’t talking, every second I saw you with her or her hands on your body during recovery made me so angry and i assumed you blocked my number after i ignored you at the game so i needed to find another way” her reply was nonchalont, as if she would find it normal receiving the same kind of texts.
her jealously and possessiveness had my legs clenching together further, the heat spread across my body as her words went through my head,  “i thought i had a stalker” i joked, wanting to lighten the mood, “it was pretty hot actually”.
i watched as a smirk grew on her face, her eyes darting down to my thighs as she watched me shuffle in hopes of getting the sensation i was desperate for. 
“oh really?” she mocked, her head tilting, her tongue flicking across her bottom lip. 
all of a sudden i shrunk in her gaze, any confidence i previously had disappeared, and all i could do is nod in response.
her hand reached out and met my cheek, her eyes flicked between my lips and eyes, “can i?” she asked. yet again all i could do was nod.
her lips instantly crashed against mine, any moment of tension had completely disappeared and the way our lips moved against each other felt natural and familiar. she kept one hand on my jaw as she tugged on my waist signalling me to move closer, she guided me as i straddled myself on her lap. her hands moved up and down my sides as i wrapped my arms around the back of her neck. her teeth grazed the bottom of my lip allowing her tongue to gain access to my mouth, winning the battle of dominance before it even started. my hips rocked against her lap, begging her to fulfil the throbbing feeling that was building between my legs.
one of her hands moved to the back of my neck as she tilted my head back to gain better access to my neck, her lips placing desperate but passionate kisses along my jaw before attaching themselves to the spot underneath my ear causing an aching explicit moan to leave my lips. 
“tell me what you want from me” she whispered, her teeth grazing my ear lobe.
“i want you to fuck me” i whined, making no attempt to hide how desperate I was. 
“be specific amor, how do you want me to fuck you?” she pressed, continuing her assault on my neck. 
“ale please, do whatever you want to me, i just want you to make me feel good” 
“eres tan buena para mi princesa, you sound so pretty when you beg” she was quick to use her strength to her advantage, standing up from the sofa with my legs wrapped around her waist and her hands resting underneath my arse as she walked into the bedroom and dropped me onto the bed. 
“take it off” she demanded, lifting her own top over her head and discarding it on the floor. 
i’d seen her without a shirt on many times, mostly in the team locker rooms, but this was something else. my eyes traced down her torso, taking in every part of her incredibly toned body, looking at her felt like looking at a piece of art that hung in the louvre yet as she stood in front of me all i could think about was how lucky i was to be the only one seeing this version of the art. 
“i’ve waited long enough, don’t make me rip it off of you” she demanded, snapping me out of my gaze as she reached to tug at the hem of my t-shirt. 
i was quick to comply, pulling my t-shirt over my head and shuffling my shorts down my legs before kicking them off the end of my bed and propping myself up on the pillows. 
“i’d love to say i’m going to tease you and see how long you it takes to break you but i don’t think i can wait any longer” with that she was quick to join me on the bed, her knee pushing between my thighs making space for her. 
her lips reconnected with mine as her hand traveled down my body, stopping at every opportunity that would heighten my arousal, gripping at my chest before letting her hand trail further downwards. her hands were quick to remove my underwear, granting her better access to what she wanted. she was quick to run her fingers through my folds.
“tan mojada para mi ya” she groaned. my face flushed a bright red as she spoke, but how else could i possible be expected to react with her on top of me, “did she make you this wet?” she asked, the jealousy prominent in her voice. i quickly shook my head, denying the claim. 
“are you going to be loud for me?” she asked, her lips making their way across my chest. 
“make me loud” i spoke up. 
“oh amor, are you getting confident?” she replied, her head raised allowing her to look down on me asserting her control once again, leading me to feel as if maybe i overstepped with my words. 
“maybe” i muttered, barely above a whisper. 
“don’t get too confident or you won’t like the consequences, i want to hear everything, vale?” she raised her eyebrow, waiting for my response but the possible threat was enough to make me quiet and only nod in response. 
my compliant nod was enough for her to reattached her lips to my chest, leaving marks as she went, whilst her fingers began to circle my clit causing my hips to arch towards her hands in hopes to increase the pressure and luckily enough for me she did exactly that. 
she propped herself up on her elbow and watched as her hand pushed me closer to the edge. it didn’t take her long to slip two long slender fingers into me, curling them as they pressed into me. her pace quicken causing me to throw my head back whilst biting my lip to suppress the noises that were desperate to leave my mouth. 
“i thought you were my good girl, do i need to remind you what i want to hear?” she asked not taking a minute to slow down and let me response, in fact pumping into me faster and harder. 
“fuck, more ale please” i whined, the built up sounds of satisfaction finally leaving my mouth. 
“buena chica, you feel so good” she smirked, revealing in the effect she had on me. 
i could feel myself tightening around her fingers, “i’m getting close”. 
“mhm are you going to ask?” she mocked, leaning her lips down to meet mine. 
“please can i come alexia?” i breathed out against her lips. 
“come for me bebita” she whispered before locking my lips against hers. it only took seconds for me to fall apart underneath her, bucking by hips against her fingers as she continued fucking me through my orgasm. her fingers began to slow down to the point where they matched my slow heavy breathing. she took her fingers out, leaving me feel empty without her touch.
“that felt incredible” i puffed out, trying to regain my breath. 
before i could fully recover, alexia was quick to shuffle herself down, placing her head in-between my thighs as she peppered kisses along my inner thighs. her arms wrapped around my thighs, holding me down in the exact position she wanted me in. 
“ale i don’t know if i can -“ i was quickly cut off.
“one more please, let me taste you” i knew she wasn’t asking me and that it was more of statement of what she was about to do. before i could agree her tongue made quick work in heightening my senses again. 
her tongue flicked across my clit, making me squirm under her grasp, i could feel myself building up easily considering i had barely had a minute to breathe after her first take over of my body. 
“you taste so fucking good” her words vibrated against me, sending me further into a pool of pleasure. 
i could feel myself coming undone underneath her again, her tongue worked expertly, “can i ale, for you please” i pleaded.
“yes, i want everyone hear it” her permission made me buckle, my moans getting louder as her movements pushed me over the edge. 
she was quick to move herself back up to my face, placing one hand on my cheek as she smashed her lips into mine, allowing me to taste myself, she pulled away with a smile painted across her face, grinning as if she won the lottery. she fell next to me, her head turning to meet my direction. I had imagined what it would be like to lay next to her in this way, after doing something you wouldn’t necessarily do with a ‘close friend’ and yet this feeling surpassed it.
“that was everything i’ve ever wanted” i smiled.
“me too” she said, returning my smile. we sat in a comfortable silence, both with grins stuck across our face smiling like two teenagers who had just kissed for the first time. 
“sooo, did i fuck you better than she did?” she asked, breaking the silence with a question that i knew was laced with jealousy.
i giggled slightly, “yes, of course you did”.
“good, i don’t think i could forgive you if that answer was any different” her hand reached out to tuck a stray hair behind my ear, her hand resting against my cheek. 
“you’re such a mix of jealousy and stubbornness” i commented. 
“how could i not be jealous of someone touching what belongs to me” she smiled innocently as if what she just said wasn’t one of the hottest things possible. 
in that moment all my angst towards her disappear. this was everything i had been waiting for for months, even after she ignored me for weeks i couldn’t not give into her, especially with a smile like hers and definitely when her fingers were inside of me.
she pulled me into her chest, her arms wrapping around me as if they were made for it, i felt a level of comfort that i hadn’t felt since the day after the incident.
alexia’s phone buzzed from the floor as she reached over to grab it. 
cata : i came back to check on y/n but by the sounds of it, you two are all good now, i’m never forgiving you for the things i heard
“well your bestfriend heard everything, so good luck with that” she laughed, flashing her phone in my direction.
you would think i’d feel somewhat embarrassed, but not this time “so so worth it”, i grinned.
a/n - first time writing smut so any feedback is very much appreciated, any spelling or grammar mistakes is because google docs is homophobic
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undiscovered-horizon · 1 year ago
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"Finnish polka" - Ivar the Boneless x Reader
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SUMMARY: After helping one of the northern Jarls, the Lothbrok brothers attend a celebratory feast. There, they're faced with a tradition of warriors catching flower crowns that belong to young women. How surprised Ivar is when you almost shove your crown into his hands.
WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.1k
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Ivar is tired.
Of course he's glad that Jarl Thorstein came out victorious. And that his brothers are fine. Still, he feels weary as the adrenaline leaves his body. His legs start to ache. Ivar downs the rest of his mead in hopes it makes him a little more deaf to his mood.
The upbeat, bright music fills his mind like an obsessive thought. His heart beats to the rhythm tapped by the feet of dancing women. They spin, jump and run around with flower crowns sitting atop their heads. How the wreaths remain immovable, he can't quite say.
Ivar is also angry.
As the local tradition entails, when the song ends, all the dancing young maidens will throw their flower crowns to the crowd. Whoever catches it, is believed to be the girl's lover chosen by the gods. However, whether the couple indulges and trusts gods' judgement is a different story. But if the wreath falls to the floor, the girl is said to remain unmarried for the next five years.
Ivar knows the chance of him somehow catching one of those is near zero. He's sitting quite far from the dancers. Even if he did catch it, he's disillusioned about the imminent dissatisfaction of the flower crown's ownert. Not only is he disabled in a way that almost entirely excludes him from fighting but he's also infamous for his ruthless nature and vengeful heart. Hardly a man who invokes desire. Still, some naive piece of him remains hopeful that maybe he's wrong. Maybe he can be terrible and loved all the same.
He shakes those weak delusions away from himself before they sour his mood further.
His piercing eyes have been following one of the dancers for the better part of the song when he catches himself. Her movements look effortless even when the musicians pick up the tempo. Clearly, she's done this dance one too many times to have any doubts about what she's doing. Joy beams from her in a way that makes her appear almost shining. The wreath on the top of her head is mostly green with white and red flowers. It makes Ivar think of the woods surrounding Kattegat; it makes him think of home.
Ivar leans toward Oddleif, one of the Jarl's men, who's sitting next to him.
"Who is she?"
Oddleif looks at Ivar out of the corner of his eye. He scoffs, takes a large sip of his drink and only then decides to answer:
"If you're thinking of catching her flower crown, don't." His blond braids dance slightly as he shakes his head. There's a hint of laughter hiding in the back of Oddleif's throat. "Half of the surviving army wants it."
"I have no care for flowers," Ivar lies through his teeth. "They have no use. They wilt and die and soon no one remembers them. I am simply curious about her."
"Her father is the blacksmith. You might have seen him in the battle, swinging that damned sledgehammer." Ivar silently nods. He remembers that man - tall as a pine tree and wider than a stable. The blacksmith invokes respect even when he's not decimating enemies like a troll equipped with a tree trunk. "He said once that he'll let any man marry his daughter but only if he can lift an anvil. Tried it once myself. Not that I had any success as you can imagine." Oddleif laughs bitterly and continues drinking. His eyes are glued to the dancers but Ivar knows that right now, the two of them are admiring the very same girl with a flower crown like a forest.
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The melody continues to quicken. Despite being out of breath, you don't want it to end. Your feet ache but they do not falter nor do they stumble. It seems that their muscles know the dance better than your mind. There are a dozen girls dancing with you but you do not see them. Not really. They appear worlds away from you and the song of bagpipes and strings.
And then appears he.
A slouched, dark figure flies before your eyes as you're doing another pirouette. The man simply sits there, in the corner, but his presence is overwhelming. Or so you think. He does nothing and yet he tears his way into your microcosm of quick footwork, turns and lively polka.
You recognize him. Of course you do. Many whispers, equally frightened and amazed, have spoken of him. You have believed in all of them until the moment you met his gaze for that split second. Right then, somewhere between blinks and breaths, you renounce every gossip you've ever heard about him. A voice in the back of your head, a trickster or an oracle, nags at you to learn the truth yourself.
When the lively, fast melody comes to a stop, you find yourself shaken awake from the thoughts about Ivar the Boneless. The end of the song seems somewhat abrupt to you as you've been letting your fantasy run wild without paying much attention to what's going on around you. Dancing the last part purely by the memory of your muscles. The moment musicians stop playing, a small crowd begins to form in front of you. Men of different class, age and ancestry reach out their hands. Each one of them is more determined than the other to catch your wreath. They start to yell something but considering that the inside of the long hall is awfully loud anyway, you can't make out any words. Reading their lips, you can only tell when they're exclaiming different variations of your name.
They're only pushing towards you, shoving each other away. You keep taking steps backwards but the distance you create with each step is quickly shortened with the men calling out to you. You knew there would be many of them in front of you but never assumed that many. Instead of somewhat flattering, the siege is terrifying and imposing.
Looking for help or advice, just something that will ease your tension, you silently look around the long hall. Your gaze falls on the same slouched, dark figure. Strange peacefulness washes over you when his eyes meet yours.
The dim candlelight seems to bend around Ivar, making his corner appear darker than anywhere else in the long hall. He's simply sitting there. Maybe he's not interested? But the way he's staring at you shows nothing if not burning curiosity. The sons of Ragnar aren't know for their patience. No, they're said to take whatever they want the moment their desire sparks. Despite that, the youngest of them, and arguably the most famous, appears to be waiting. But for what exactly?
The fresh pine needles prick your skin. You furrow your eyebrows. Your gaze falls to the wreath and then comes back to Ivar. Could it be...?
It isn't much of a throw, really. You toss the flower crown towards him without looking anywhere else but into Ivar's eyes. Without as much as blinking, he catches the wreath with ease as though he has been prepared for that. Low murmurs hit your ears but quickly the sounds of disappointment fall silent as it's made clear who caught your wreath. Despite their initial determination, the men who had been reaching out to you suddenly disperse like fog does in the early morning. They knew better than to get under the skin of a Lothbrok. Especially that one.
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"I believe this belongs to you."
Ivar is holding up the wreath. Despite his words, he makes no effort to offer it back to you. His eyes are bright and glistening, the corner of his mouth is tugged ever-so-slightly upwards. He appears amused.
At first, it was nice to finally sit down after dancing for what seemed to be hours on end. But now, when you're facing the consequences of your spur-of-the-moment decision, the tension sets in once more. This time, however, it doesn't feel threatening. In turn, the nervousness is somewhat welcome like the jittery state before a surprise is revealed.
"If I wanted to keep it, I wouldn't have thrown it," you answer in a light tone.
"And why should I keep it?"
The blue eyes study you for a moment. It's a strange feeling - you can't help but think that the longer you are in Ivar's presence, talking or not, he's reading your mind and soul. He stares at you in a way that tells you he already holds all the answers but wants you to confirm them.
"It's said to bring good luck." You shrug your shoulders. "Until the wreath wilts and dies, Freya and Freyr will look after you."
Ivar looks at the flower crown again. Only now, when he's holding it, does he realize that for a flower crown, there aren't many flowers. A few sandworts and poppies, yes, but the wreath is made mostly of evergreen plants. It might take weeks until the crown wilts.
The microcosm seems closed again. Now it's not you and the bagpipes but you and him. It's strange and it's new but it's not threatening. It's not the kind of presence a man of his infamy should have. Or perhaps you've simply fallen for his honey trap.
"Why did you throw it to me?" Ivar tries to make the question seem unimportant, just curiosity brought to light. But he can't quite convince himself that he doesn't care. There's a hint of something vulnerable and genuine when the words roll off his tongue. It's easy to miss like a dandelion clock carried away by a gust of wind.
You wish you knew the answer yourself.
"I don't know really," you say honestly. "Perhaps it was one of the gods that threw the flower crown for me." You make a pause. Ivar's face is unreadable. "Or perhaps I have no interest in urgent, desperate men."
Ivar chuckles. A deep shadow is covering part of his face, making him appear kind of sinister. For a moment, you question whether he's laughing with you or at you.
"And what exactly makes you think I'm not urgent or desperate?" he continues. You notice his smile is growing wider. That glint of amusement in his blue eyes has changed in mischief. "What if I'm worse than all of them? You surely know who I am."
"Of course I do, Ivar the Boneless," you drone the words. In a barely noticeable fashion, he clenches his jaw when you say his name. It makes him feel a strange, burning sensation in his stomach but Ivar is left unsure whether he likes it or detests. "The whispers of your ruthless character are unending."
"But you're not afraid?" he asks with both disbelief and suspicion. A girl with a flower crown doesn't necessarily strike him as fearless in any way. Or this whole strange situation is a little too good, too dream-like, for him to accept it at face-value.
Ivar's smile falters when your face takes on a confident, maybe even arrogant, expression. He's taken aback.
"I'm a woman of the North," you say while leaning towards him on the table. The distance between your faces shortnes. "The only person I fear is my own reflection."
The sudden closeness makes Ivar inhale sharply. The strong smell of pine needles fills his nostrils. For a moment, his imagination runs wild but it's not his fault - he has no grasp on it:
How those big eyes glistened in the semi-dark of the long hall as you were staring at him. Your smirk, somewhat challenging and beckoning him to push on. Then, the smell of conifer that shakes all senses awake. His fantasy leaves the northern snows and travelles to forests, to him brushing pine needles from your hair and your naked, flushes skin smelling of evergreen trees.
But quickly his shaken awake, to his utmost displeasure, by you:
"Well, if you don't want it, I suppose I should take it back, no?"
Your hand unsurely reaches out for the wreath in Ivar's hand. He's quick to pull his arm back.
"It's bad luck to take back gifts," he states plainly. In an act of nonchalance, Ivar is playing with the wreath, spinning it around his finger. "I should like to keep it."
Sometimes you come back to the night you've met the infamous Viking, when you're rendered sleepless while he's calmly breathing next to you, getting the rest he desperately needs. How funny all of it seems - that a flower crown in bloodied, merciless hands could lead to having a genuine crown on your head. Maybe you were right, after all, and it really was the hand of one of the gods that threw the wreath for you.
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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 months ago
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famous last words, m | jjk
pairing(s): jungkook x reader, very brief mention of namjoon x reader
summary: Words that should be written in your obituary but probably won't be: “How the fuck did I get myself in this situation?” Clever, right? No? Neither is fucking a stranger who bursts into tears within the first ten minutes of meeting each other. Ah. Well. Guess those will be your famous last words.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; what should be a simple task ends with fucking no one saw that coming, hehe, get it?; mentions of infidelity / recent break-up / JK crying Q_Q; angst + comfort; smut (fem reader, dom!reader x sub!JK, nipple play, scratching, hair-pulling kink, cock-and-ball torture (dick slapping, ball slapping / squeezing, etc), m-receiving oral, handjob, spit kink, edging / orgasm denial, 69); non-idol!AU, ft next-door neighbor!Kim Namjoon
--
Somebody much wiser than you once said, don’t speak into existence the truth, for it will inevitably prove you right sooner rather than later, or something equally as pompous-sounding, but clearly you never got the memo as you rotted away on your sofa, staring at the red bubble of your unread messages, muttering under your breath, “Surely not every social interaction I have will end in sex,” and yet you still did not open the application. You were saying this to absolutely no one, by the way. You were the only occupant in your apartment.
Some would say by choice.
You would agree wholeheartedly.
What?
Before you could get on that mental hamster wheel, your phone started vibrating in your hand. For a split second, you debated on not answering it, however, the caller was listed under his full name in your phone. That meant it was either your boss or someone of equal importance. Or someone who would not be calling unless it was rather serious. Thus, with a sigh, you pressed the green button to accept the call with a bland, noncommittal, “Hello?”
Depending on the nature of the call, you would decide on how currently busy you were.
“Ah, hello! I’m so sorry to be calling right now,” came the slightly frantic and strangely relieved voice of Kim Namjoon, you next-door neighbor. He fumbled with the words and asked if it was, in fact, you, to which you confirmed, “Unfortunately, still alive and kicking.” This made him laugh for some reason. Perhaps it was your dry delivery. Or because he was nervous, which was a hilarious thought, as Namjoon was over one-hundred eighty centimeters tall with imposing broad shoulders and the chest of an ox. He had said something before about how he used physical exercise as a coping mechanism. For what? Impeding existential crisis from being highly educated? A question of another time.
You snapped out of your sidetracking as Namjoon said, “I was going to text you but then I remembered you said if it was important to call instead.”
You recalled the angry red bubble of unread messages. “Yes, the call was the right move,” you agreed. “Is something wrong? Have you locked yourself out of your apartment again?”
Indeed, there was a reason you had Kim Namjoon’s number. Because despite his towering frame and heavy canvas bags full of self-help books, you had previously found him sitting outside his apartment, looking like a dejected puppy, said canvas bags tucked around him, his pockets inside-out. At first, you weren’t going to ask – quite frankly you weren’t about the people-person life – but it would be a bit weird to just ignore the giant dejected puppy slouched against the unit next to yours. So, you inwardly sighed and walked up to him, asking why he was camping out at his front door.
He had locked himself out.
You nearly facepalmed. This late at night? Of course, the leasing office wasn’t open at this hour. Security didn’t have keys to the tenants’ apartments for safety reasons. You had debated on leaving him there, but it was too late, you had already asked what was wrong and now Kim Namjoon was doing that polite thing of saying he didn’t want to be any trouble, that he would be fine, and before you could remember to be rude, you had invited a stranger into your apartment to rot on your sofa, at least until the next morning when someone could let him into his apartment. Foolishly brave on your part. He could have been a serial killer. Could have bludgeoned you to death with those bags of books, which, considering the current trajectory of the world…
Never mind.
In any case, you didn’t feel threatened. Namjoon had those soulful eyes and double cheek dimples when he smiled, so the probability of homicidal psychosis was pretty low. And you were right. He was just forgetful. How he stayed alive this long was beyond you. Namjoon was the most incapable capable person you had ever met. He was a whiz with public transportation, bus and train. Had a bicycle when he needed it. He didn’t own a car for the good of the people (his words). The second time he had locked himself out, you had joked to Namjoon that he fuckin’ owed you. The third time, you had forced him to make you an extra key and gave him your number so he could call you to let him into his own apartment. He had felt like he owed you and, even though you told him that it would be more than enough if he simply learned to remember his damn apartment key for once, he had taken you out to dinner to make up for it, which surely explained how you ended up in bed with him the next morning.
Listen.
It wasn’t that serious. Really. There was nothing brewing here except wine-induced impulse and a why-the-fuck-not attitude. But all that might explain the awkward laughing. Not because anyone was harboring any secret feelings, just mostly because he was about to ask you for a weirder favor. Sucking his dick again would probably be a more expected ask than what he was about to say next.
“Ahaha, no, um…”
You could hear loud thump-thump noises on the other side of the line. No, not familiar thump-thump noises. You frowned. Was that the boom-boom of bass?
“Actually, I’m by the coast right now. I’m at a welcome party for a wedding of one of my closest friends. Er, what I mean to say is that I’m not close to my apartment right now,” Namjoon rambled, making you stretch your ears to understand. “I’m a couple hours away by train, it’s late, I thought about maybe trying to make it to and back, but I–”
“With all due respect,” you interrupted, realizing he was tipsy, over-polite, and overexplaining. “Can you tell me what you need me to do?”
“Ah, sorry, sorry,” his deep voice quickly apologized. “Could you open the door for my friend when he drops by?”
You raised your eyebrows. “Sure, I guess.”
Before you could ask what said friend looked like, Namjoon let out a whoosh of relief. “Oh, thank you. Thanks a lot. Um, if you could…? Please be nice to him.”
“Have you known me to be a rude person?” you inquired impassively.
He glossed over your question like a champ. “It’s… Complicated. He found out tonight his longtime girlfriend was cheating on him. I wish I could be there. He might not seem like it, but I know he’s very emotional right now. I told him to crash at my place, but if something seems amiss, please let me know, okay? I’m worried about him. I thought about going back, but I’m in the wedding party and…”
Despite everything within you being completely and utterly disinterested in babysitting a grown man with hurt feelings and probably a temporary poor perspective of women, your mouth was saying, “I’ll take care of it, Namjoon. And I will call you if I think it is necessary. You know I won’t let anything get out of hand. What’s his name? What does he look like?”
Twenty minutes later of you standing in Kim Namjoon’s beige apartment inspecting his rather impressive bonsai collection – something you had sadly missed the last time you were here as the living room was not the focus of the night – you heard the panicked smashing of the doorbell, indicating your visitor. You put a little more perk in your step and hurried to the door, opening it to the blubbering mess that was Jeon Jungkook.
You stared at him.
He stared at you.
From your side, you were looking at a rather disheveled man with wide bloodshot eyes, puffy cheeks, and windswept ear-length black hair clutching two big silver suitcases and a huge black duffel bag that looked like he had stuffed every skeleton of his closet into it. He was wearing a big white t-shirt with a big wet spot down the collar, torn-up slate blue jeans that appeared to have come that way, and untied white sneakers that had seen the streets of Seoul way too many times. As Namjoon had informed you earlier, his right arm was covered in dark and colorful tattoos, all the way to his hand, including a crown on his index finger. His big, dark brown eyes were pools of hurt and sadness that quickly twisted into confusion as he saw you. You suddenly realized how this looked to him. From his side, the door of one his best male friends had opened to a woman wearing flared black pajama shorts and a loose white tank top with a single red chili pepper embroidered in the center of the chest.
Which could mean a lot of things.
Or nothing.
“Jeon Jungkook?” you asked as a greeting.
“Uh… Y-Yeah…”
His voice cracked and he shook like a shaken leaf in the last days of autumn.
You waved him in. “Namjoon-ah let me know to expect you. Come in.”
He hesitated. Reasonably so. His ears were red, maybe from running, but a deep flush was developing on his cheeks. You could tell he was feeling somewhat embarrassed about it all. He had a youth about him, both in naïveté and in the anxiety of being ashamed at his emotional state. You softened. You didn’t comment on it. Instead, you said, “I’ll make you some tea. The bathroom is around the corner if you would like to freshen up. Don’t stand out here.”
There was a flash of defiance in his gaze, but it died when you didn’t react in a hostile manner. You simply moved out of the way, holding the door open for him. After an awkward shuffle and dance, Jeon Jungkook and his excessive amount of luggage was in the apartment. You closed the front door behind him, locking it.
“Did…”
His voice cracked. Distraught, he looked away and you politely stared vacantly in the other direction. A little part of you had wondered if Namjoon had put you in an unsafe situation – after all, you knew him but not his friends – yet upon seeing Jungkook, you were getting domestic pet vibes again. Puppy, or perhaps the big-eyed, trembling upper lip expression was giving bunny. He didn’t seem dangerous. Maybe you were being too trusting. Eh. Only one way to found out.
“Did Namjoon-hyung tell you…?”
Your eyes flickered to him. He was staring down at the floor. Damn. You could tell he was trying to put on a brave front as if his face wasn’t splotchy and his t-shirt wasn’t soaked in tears, but it was weak. Broken. He might be a stranger, but his current state was familiar enough to anyone who had experienced crushing disappointment. That was a lot of people, including you.
“That you were staying a while? Yup. Although he didn’t tell me where the spare towels were,” you added distractedly, crossing your arms. “He just told me you could use anything. But now that I think about it, you wouldn’t want to use his bath towel, no matter how close you two are. Hmmmm. I’ll go looking while you get settled then.”
“Are you… his girlfriend?”
You stiffened. You glanced at Jungkook, who was giving you a scrutinizing and halfway-jealous glare. You grimaced, shaking your head.
“No, I’m not. I’m the next-door neighbor. Which, contrary to what bad porn storylines might lead you to believe, does not equate to relationship material. Just a convenient person to ask to keep your spare house key when you constantly forget it,” you lightheartedly replied. “Which is a lot of the time, when you’re Kim Namjoon.”
Jungkook relaxed a bit, but he was still giving you that guarded expression. You realized he must have noticed that you were using rather familiar terms for Namjoon, which was the natural progression after the whole getting naked and sixty-nine-ing incident that he was very likely unaware of. Uh. You sort of hoped he would accept the neighbor explanation, because there was truly not much more to it. You probably wouldn’t have even done it if Namjoon hadn’t spoken so miserably about his last breakup, how he had felt so unloved and like he never mattered, and maybe you had been trying to convince him he did matter, even if only for a fleeting moment, which said a lot about your preferred coping mechanism versus his.
But.
Anyway. Haha. This wasn’t going to become a pattern. Surely.
Ahem.
“I’m sorry…”
You blinked. “Pardon?”
The not-so-strange stranger clutched his duffel bag, fidgeting, his face scrunching up, unable to look directly at you. “I’m sorry you got dragged into this,” Jungkook shuddered, tensing up. His shaking voice struggled to hold itself together. “I… It’s late… I couldn’t… I drove, my parents live in Busan, dunno if I could… I didn’t want to trouble… I’m so worthless…”
“You drove in this state?” you cut in sharply. You snapped your jaw shut, not wanting to scold him. His face looked stricken. Well, you’d been called heartless before, but you didn’t claim the title yourself. You calmed your tone. “Hey, I’m not here to judge you. Look, you don’t have to tell me anything. This is a safe place. I’m just here to prepare you a cup of hot tea. Maybe heat up some hotteok if I can find any in the freezer. Or I can leave you alone, right now, if you promise not to do anything stupid before your friend comes back.”
For a moment, Jungkook didn’t say anything. He was taller, bigger, more muscular than you, but he seemed small right now. The world stilled.
“Be honest… Do I seem like a pathetic man?” he asked in a broken whisper.
You looked at his frail form and answered rather confidently.
“Do pathetic men have the self-awareness to call themselves pathetic?”
Those big bloodshot eyes rose to meet your wry smile.
“Just be sad in peace. Emotions are not an attack on your masculinity.”
You spotted the flash of defiance once again. “What would you know?” Jungkook snapped. Then you could tell he instantly regretted it, shrinking back slightly. He didn’t apologize though. You waited. Minutes passed. The timing became awkward. His eyes shifted, lips quivering, trying to get the words out. You thought about forcing it out of him, but you let him have this one.
“I’m not against you,” you reminded him quietly.
“S… Sorry,” he mumbled, staring at the floor. “It’s… My girlfriend… um, ex… ex-girlfriend. Cheated on me.”
You could tell it hurt him to even say it out loud. His voice was thick and on the brink of tears.
“I… I was going to ask her to…”
He fell apart before your eyes.
“…To m-marry me.”
Jungkook sank to the floor and cried.
You didn’t know what to do.
Well, you did know what to do. It was a matter of whether or not to do it. You had only known Jeon Jungkook for less than ten minutes after all. You hadn’t even known he existed until barely thirty minutes ago. And you didn’t know if he wanted to be consoled by an almost stranger, as he had been holding back this entire time, albeit poorly and without experienced restraint, but who could blame him, his world as he had known it had fallen apart less than an hour ago.
Yeah.
His world as he had known it had fallen apart less than an hour ago.
It was entirely possible that Jungkook would recoil from you, and validly so. You knelt anyway, not yet saying anything. It was pointless to tell him not to cry, for he was already crying. Hell, you would cry too if your innocence was still intact. Deep down, you were glad that he was. It showed that he still believed enough to shed tears over a moment called love. Besides, sadness was better than misplaced anger.
You reached towards him and experimentally placed your hand on his shoulder.
What should have felt solid felt so very breakable under your palm.
“You don’t have to say any more,” you reminded him quietly.
His face was buried in his duffel bag, covered by his arms. A sob ravaged his entire body, possessing him with emotion. Frustration and sadness and regret and shame and self-blame, maybe warranted, maybe not. He was saying something, wetly, something about being not enough, not deserving, unable to make anyone stay. It was a jumbled, anguished mess. You didn’t refute any of his cries, because they were more for him than they were for you to respond to, and because you weren’t even sure he meant to be this vulnerable. You were sure that, at some point in the future, he would no longer relate to any of the statements he was declaring now, but he just didn’t know and couldn’t believe that yet so there was no point in saying it now.
You weren’t good at this kind of stuff, but you simply said what you told yourself when you were in a similar low point.
“These might be your consequences, but these consequences don’t have to define who you are.”
It was several more minutes of sniffing and clutching his duffel bag. You could tell the tears were subsiding though. It could have been what you said. Or it could have been him remembering you were there next to him. A woman he didn’t know was witnessing his breakdown. You almost pulled your hand away, but you sensed a ripple of discomfort in his demeanor, as if to ask, are you ashamed of me? The thought stayed in your mind. You shifted your hand and gently rubbed his upper back.
“Why don’t you take a shower?” you suggested softly, not leaning too close but close enough to be there as a physical presence. “Get into some fresh clothes. I’ll find a towel for you. Take your time. If you still want that cup of tea, I’ll be here to get that ready too.”
It was not your nature to give s single shit about a stranger.
It didn’t seem to be Jeon Jungkook’s nature to accept help either, and yet you felt those strong shoulders slump under your palm, giving up.
“O… Okay….”
-
You rapped your knuckle against the bathroom door.
“Hey, I’m going to put the towel by the sink and leave,” you called, hopefully loud enough to be heard over the falling water. “Take your ti–”
Everything happened very quickly.
You turned the knob with one hand as the other was holding the fluffy white bath towel you had found in the linen closet. Steam poured from the crack through the door, and you felt the heat before you felt the dampness of it. You heard the water shut off. You froze. And then, all of a sudden, the door was yanked open from the other side, revealing a dripping, wide-eyed, unquestionably naked Jeon Jungkook.
You stared at him.
He stared at you.
Was it something about doors or was it something about your poor timing? Perhaps he hadn’t heard you. You were looking up, at his face, by instinct. Droplets clung to his cheekbone and jaw. His black hair was flat against his head and did absolutely nothing in blocking those big dark brown pools of shock who really should not be shocked since he had opened the door on you. Unless he hadn’t known. But then why would he open the door trailing water everywhere butt-ass-naked knowing full well a stranger was somewhere on the other side?
Your eyes narrowed.
His ears were turning red.
The more you looked at his expression, the less you felt that he was inclined to move, hide himself, or literally anything else that would obviously provide the perception that he didn’t orchestrate this moment to some extent. Which is a lot of words to say – he had known you were there. He had opened the door on purpose. As this epiphany dawned on you, you saw his eyes dart. Flutter. He might have known but he hadn’t planned much else after that. You wondered what kind of reaction he had been trying to illicit by this, but the more time that elapsed and the more you thought about it, the more you understood that he was trying to do something reckless on purpose or worse.
Which would make you unintentional – or intentional – collateral to his current skewed judgement.
You didn’t like that.
You unfurled the towel and held it up lengthwise, pinching it by the two upper corners and continued directly staring into Jungkook’s face. With this action, he clearly caught on that you were catching on.
You saw him hold his breath.
You did not look down.
Oh, there were definitely things to look at. Even the hint of his defined shoulders and the toned upper half of his pecs was enough to give anyone a reason to look. But you didn’t, because that was basically the same as taking advantage of a drunk person. Although you didn’t really have qualms about giving the middle finger to other faux pas, questionable consent wasn’t one of them. He wasn’t thinking straight right now or, rather, you had no reason to believe that he was thinking straight because who the fuck is trying to sex up their friend’s next-door neighbor that they just met? He had just been cheated on.
So.
For revenge?
You pressed the corners of the towel to Jungkook’s wet shoulders and curled your fingers around them, touching his skin.
His inhale caught.
He stared into your eyes.
You dummy bunny, you thought.
His body was warm, and he was trembling. You still didn’t look down. You probably would have seen some things. Or one very obvious tent. In any case, you leaned in, not breaking eye contact. Jungkook seemed to realize that your approach was not giving what he thought he was going to be getting. Strangely, you could see a mixture of relief and disappointment in his expression. As if he was glad that you weren’t that kind of person, but also upset that the mere sight of his bare-and-available body couldn’t break your demeanor, somehow making him less in his own eyes.
This wasn’t your first rodeo, though. You’d seen all this shit before.
Maybe even been on his side of it.
Teenagers, right? No? Oh. Anyway.
He smelled clean. Herbal. A hint of yuzu. You synchronized your breathing to his. He didn’t seem to notice, but the shallowness waned. Dampness seeped to your palms. You felt him relax slightly, realizing you weren’t about to have an angry outburst at his appearance or his choice of, ahem, confrontation.
You stared into his eyes.
“You look better when you’re not crying,” you commented.
Jungkook flushed a little. There was good-naturedness in his awkward laugh though. “Uh… Thanks? I’d… I’d hope so…”
Your face was close to his. He seemed to notice it now. You let him have this suspended moment of heated wonder. You smiled at him.
“Would you like a cup of tea?” you asked.
A borrowed towel hung between his wet, naked body and your dry, clothed one.
His eyes held more life to them than before. “Ah… Yeah. Yes. If… If it’s not too much trouble,” he trailed off, embarrassment creeping into the timbre of his voice. “I don’t know… I dunno if there’s any hotteok.”
You held the edges of the towel. “I’ll look,” you reassured him.
He wasn’t looking away.
Your hair was messy from laying around all evening. You weren’t wearing any makeup because, again, it was evening and you weren’t expecting to leave your home. Your face might have been puffy from the salty soup of your dinner earlier in the night but, then again, there was always a little roundness to your cheeks. But Jungkook was observing your face very closely, and you were starting to think it wasn’t because of your appearance.
Or maybe it was.
You cut into his personal space just a little bit more.
“You need to hold onto the towel,” you advised.
Realization lit his ears bright red. You sensed his hands flying up, splaying over the soft white towel and pinning it to his chest, but you weren’t focused on that. You barely noticed. Instead, you were raising your eyebrows at the sound that came out of him.
Almost.
A whimper?
The moment hung into the air.
He knew you heard. You were still holding onto his shoulders. It wasn’t weird. You caught the look in his eyes. Well. You breathed out silently, backing away so he couldn’t feel the weight of your exhale. You had a task. Right. Your eyes connected for a split second. He saw something in yours that you didn’t conceal fast enough. You turned quickly, walking out of the hallway. Here you were, going out of your way for someone you barely knew. Make the tea, find a snack, get out, you told yourself, creating the mental checklist. He probably wanted to be alone to brood and all that. Yeah.
You made your way to the kitchen. Raised your hand to open the cupboards to begin your search for consumable comfort and noticed you were trembling. You frowned.
You smacked the back of your hand.
The shakes disappeared with the sting.
“For fuck’s sake,” you muttered, and prepared the damn cup of tea.
-
Thankfully, the following encounter with Jeon Jungkook didn’t involve a door and an awkward stare-down. You were beginning to think it was going to become a pattern, but thankfully it was only correlation, not causation.
Instead, now the two of you were awkwardly at Kim Namjoon’s kitchen counter. Him sitting. You standing. He was staring at the cup of tea and two circles of pan-warmed hotteok with tears in his eyes.
Improvement.
You cleaned up after yourself quietly, not wanting to make him more uncomfortable by you watching him eating, but you noticed he wasn’t touching the food or drink. After what seemed like an eternity of gazing into the abyss, he gulped down a lungful of air and closed his eyes. He was wearing a faded black t-shirt and a pair of loose blue plaid cotton pants. His hair was still a little damp. As you washed the frying pan, you saw Jungkook scoot closer to the counter and nibble on the hotteok.
Whew.
He jolted a bit at the temperature of the tea but didn’t complain. You wiped down the counters and busied yourself in making sure everything was how you found it. Acquainting yourself with Namjoon’s kitchen was easier than acknowledging the heaviness in the room right now. Not quite between you and Jungkook, but, well, the circumstances in him being here in the first place.
You turned around, washcloth in hand.
Jungkook turned slightly, reached down, and pulled his hand up.
Your eyes immediately followed the movement, even before your registered the emotion in his eyes.
With a sharp snap, a small jewelry box now sat on the grey granite.
Namjoon’s kitchen was set in a C-shape. The refrigerator and stove on one wall, sink and cabinets on another, and an extension entering the living space that doubled as more countertop area that could accommodate two barstools. You had been a little surprised at how little there was in the kitchen, as there had been no special kitchen gadgets or appliances. Just the basics. Still, it was a small space. So, there you were, boxed in the kitchen, looking down at an emerald velvet jewelry box, and Jungkook was on the other side of the counter, chewing on his sweet snack, and looking down at it with you.
You glanced at him.
Emotionless, he reached over. The snake tattoo on his right wrist was what you fixated on, dark and winding and coiled, and you watched his forearm muscle underneath ripple as he cracked open the box, revealing a ring.
An engagement ring, you guessed.
He sat back, hollow.
You looked down at it.
The focal point was a round, clear stone. It didn’t quite hold the intense, prismatic sparkle of diamond, but it was large. Several carats mounted on a shining yellow gold band. Expensive, yet not extravagant or gaudy. Classic. You searched Jungkook’s body language to see if he wanted some type of reaction out of you, but he simply looked deflated. Out of it. Chewing and swallowing and taking another bite until all of the hotteok was gone. He drank the tea as the engagement ring glittered between you and him, now in Namjoon’s apartment, oblivious that it would never grace the hand of its intended owner.
“I hid it in the pocket of the pajama pants I’m wearing now.”
You almost didn’t register that Jungkook was talking because he sounded nearly robotic. Dissociated.
“I didn’t have to worry about her finding it. I always did the laundry. She hated doing laundry.”
You lived alone, so whether or not you hated doing laundry was irrelevant. You still had to do it. Hating it only made the chore worse. Hating doing the dishes was allowed because the dishwasher could do all the hard work for you. Not that any of this mattered. You were trying to mentally distract yourself to avoid interrupting him or forming any opinion.
“I didn’t mind though,” he continued, looking somewhere only he knew. “I like cleaning. I’m good at it.”
You weren’t sure if you liked this version of Jeon Jungkook speaking in complete sentences. His detached tone was becoming disconcerting. He looked somewhere between falling apart at any given moment and hurling the mug in his hand with a torn scream.
“She told me something once. About how my birthstone and her birthstone are the same. Sapphire.” You did the math. September children. Christmas-to-New-Years boinking for their parents. You tried not to grimace so Jungkook wouldn’t notice, although he was rambling to himself and had probably forgotten that you were right there. “I don’t know about that stuff but she showed me and I guess it’s true. I didn’t know they had white sapphires. The jeweler told me they were associated to new beginnings. Perfect for the start of a martial journey, he said. I thought that would be nice, and I could afford a bigger stone too. Girls like that, right? I don’t know. Once I got it, I thought, wow. It would look perfect on her hand. She could show it to all her friends every time she goes out. She loved going out and doing stuff. I stopped going because I felt like I was invading on her special time with friends. Or something. I trusted her, anyway. Right? I should. She…”
His head moved, his dark eyes shifting.
You raised your head, and he breathed out, gazing at you from far away.
“It was my fault,” he said, his voice cracking.
You raised your eyebrows. “I don’t know anything about the situation but I kinda doubt it.”
He looked down. “It must have been. I was too suffocating, she said. Too clingy. Her friends thought I acted too childish. She told me not to care… I could tell she cared. Two years. What was it for?”
You wished you had a good answer for him, if only to ease his misery. The best you could do was continue listening.
“I found out by accident,” Jungkook whispered. Small but enough for you to hear. “She didn’t mind if I touched her phone. She was sleeping, and it kept ringing. I took it to another room and turned off the sound, but someone kept calling. Wouldn’t stop. I knew the guy’s name. I remembered her talking about him before. She had a couple guy friends. She always talked about them just as much as her female friends. I never liked it, but I have to be a grown up about it, right? And then her KaokaoTalk started popping off. She didn’t have an existing thread with the guy. Weird. I didn’t mean to read the messages, but they kept coming one after another, it was just…”
His eyes hollowed again. He was reliving it. Second by second. Minute by minute. Pain clouded his expression. His voice became tight. His hand on the mug clutched hard, knuckles tense.
“He kept warning her he would tell me. Tell everyone. I couldn’t do anything. Couldn’t believe it. Then my phone started going off. Screenshot after screenshot. Messages. Photos. Videos. And she was asking him in all of them. Initiating. Begging. Then her phone was going off again, all the other chats she had. Like a fucking bomb went off.” He seethed, dark brows furrowing, jaw tightening. But then a strange look superseded all of the anger, replacing it with emptiness. “And all at once I felt it.”
He raised his head and looked…
Guilty?
“Empty.”
You tilted your head curiously.
“Nothing,” Jungkook repeated, exhaling hard. “Just nothing. I didn’t feel anything for her. How fucking scary is that? Did I even love her at all? One moment I felt anger, betrayal, hatred. And the next, I felt nothing. I wish I could delete it all. Everything. She had moved into my place, but I don’t even want to look at that apartment anymore. I don’t want the furniture. I don’t want to walk down that street. I’ll pay until the lease is up but I just don’t want to be there. I packed my clothes, my game consoles, my equipment, but anything we shared I left because I don’t want to fucking see any of it. She woke up while I was packing. Trying to act all sweet and surprised. I just shoved her phone in her face and let her deal with that. She was yelling at me, saying all kinds of bullshit, trying to take stuff from my hands, and I told her not to fucking touch me and not to fucking speak to me ever again.”
Well.
Shit.
He glanced at you again. Apologetic.
“Sorry. I’m a bad person. I’m sorry you had to help me…”
You blinked at him.
He couldn’t raise his head.
“You sure about that?” you asked the silence.
His eyes shifted but didn’t rise. “What?”
“You sure I don’t help bad people on the regular?”
He lifted his head and frowned at you, searching your face. You didn’t elaborate. Your hands were on the edge of the counter, away from the sparkly trinket at the center, a symbol of something shattered still so pristine, then it was an empty plate, empty cup, and finally Jungkook, his features contorted, trying to understand what you were saying.
Good luck, because you mostly said it to break him out of his self-pity party. Although, all things considered, it wasn’t a lie. How many good people were there on this forsaken planet, truly? Meh.
“Yeah…” he mumbled. “I don’t know anything about you.”
You shrugged and figured that was it.
“So, tell me.”
You raised an eyebrow. “What?”
His brow furrowed defiantly. “Yeah. Tell me.” He repeated himself, sharper this time. You made a face at him. He remained stubborn. “I told you about my life. What about yours?”
You weren’t impressed by his delusions. “Uh, unsolicited, by the way. I didn’t ask. You’re the one who started yapping.”
Jungkook blinked at you, startled by your dismissive tone or perhaps your word choice. You folded the washcloth primly and scrutinized him back. He faltered under your gaze, looking down at the empty light blue plate. There were a few tiny crumbs left, but its purpose had already been served.
“R… Right. Sorry.”
A little thought in the back of your mind nagged you. Please be nice to him. Namjoon’s words rang in your ear. You winced, and Jungkook didn’t seem to notice, too busy being ashamed for himself. There was a brief mental tug of war within yourself before you finally said, “I’m not currently dating anyone.”
His form ruffled a bit but it wasn’t much.
You tried not to roll your eyes. “I’ve had a couple of serious boyfriends,” you admitted. “But they didn’t work out for one reason or another. Nothing dramatic. For example, one of them we simply broke up because his parents hated me.”
“Why?” He perked up and was looking at you now.
You twisted your lip. “Because I’m a whore,” you sneered.
Jungkook blinked at you, taken aback.
“Anyway,” you continued, glossing over it. “It’s not for me.”
“What isn’t?”
“Romance.”
“Why?”
You narrowed your eyes and then sighed. What an exchange. “Because what I want is not something other people want.”
“What do you want?” Jungkook followed up, curious, sitting up in his chair now. “What’s different?”
You rubbed the back of your head. “Different…” You mulled over the word. You looked down at the ring between you and him. “What is this ring to you?”
His eyes followed, downcast. “Uh… well… it means I want to be married…?”
“That you want other people to know, hey, that’s my future wife?”
Something flashed over his expression but disappeared just as quickly. “Yeah. I guess.”
The ring shone, its many facets silvery and sparkling.
“Well, I want to have sex,” you professed.
On cue, Jungkook tore his eyes away from the counter to gawk, startled at your forwardness. You made eye contact. Half-smiled. What? He had a cute face.
“Most people have sex because of what sex means. Then there are people like me who have sex because of what sex is.”
He was staring at you like a fish out of water.
“This ring is an example of the things humans do to create an image for others.” Your finger circled around the ring, toying with light and shadow above the shine. “Which is not a bad thing, to want your bond to be acknowledged by others. It can be empowering. But sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s something we do to protect ourselves. Something we do to strengthen the walls of the house that is slowly revealed to be made of cards.” You pulled your hand back. Jungkook’s face fell, gradually understanding what you meant. “Me, I don’t care what the outside of the house looks like. Sure, it would be cool for the outside to be perfected just the way I like it, but ultimately I don’t care. I only care about what’s inside. I find most actions connected to the word ‘romance’ are things we do to be acknowledged by others. There is an unnecessary pressure to fit your story into an ideal that other people need to approve of. And I hate that. So, I don’t pursue it.”
There was a pause.
Through a filtered gaze of his messy bangs, Jungkook asked, “What did you mean?”
“About what?”
“About having sex… for what it is.”
That’s what he got out of that? Still, you raised a hand to ask him a question. “Why do you have sex?”
The tips of his cheeks blushed red. “Uh.”
You started ticking down fingers.
“To express your love to your partner. To feel connection with someone else. To do something for someone that, supposing you both agreed, is an act of service you can’t get anywhere else. To make up for your mistakes to them. To show your worth and value to them.”
Your hand a fist.
“To get off.”
Jungkook’s big eyes shifted from your fist to your face. You hadn’t raised or lowered your hand for the last one.
“Selfishness is usually last on the list,” you said, uncurling your hand. “And the first and main reason why people break relationships. So, it’s bad. Supposedly.” You placed your hand on the cool stone. “And maybe I am selfish, which would theoretically put me at the bottom of the list, since I don’t have sex for other people. I have sex for the act itself. To explore the complexity of physical and mental interacting. To satiate my curiosity in that unique type of pleasure and all the things that contribute to it. To me, sex is pure. You cannot hide. You cannot lie. People try to do both, and I find that type of dishonesty exhausting and ugly.”
You looked back to Jungkook to see if he was following. His eyes were glazing over a little bit, but he seemed to understand the general sentiment. That was okay. It would be better not to spend too long on the soapbox.
“Anyway, it never feels like anyone is fully committed to the act. They are trapped in the reasons of what sex means to them. Or their relationship with sex is more deteriorated than they like to admit. The sex sucks. I can taste that it is tainted, and not in a good way.” You cocked your head. “People tend to seek to replicate what they felt before. Or they want something better than what they currently have. The past and future constantly compete with the present. Achieving orgasm has become more important than anything else. In search of meaning, the fundamentals have become an afterthought. I’m not saying love isn’t important, but I can’t accept that sex plays second fiddle to everything else. That sex needs some other reason than itself to be valid. We’ve lost the damn plot, I fear,” you chuckled, giving him a moment to absorb that.
Jungkook frowned. He didn’t look wholly lost though. “So… Romance isn’t for you because, uh.” He paused. “The purity of sex? Or something?”
You half-laughed. “That and because no one wants to put up with my bullshit.”
A beat before a soft, “Oh.”
His pensive face was rather charming. You continued to smile.
“I kinda agree though,” he mumbled.
“Hm?”
Discomfort invaded his thoughtful demeanor. “Uh… Whenever we had sex… It was on her terms. Because she had to give her consent first. Since I wanted it more than her.” He wasn’t looking at you nor speaking that clearly. Still, you stayed attentive. “I’d… uh. I’d get hard and then put it in her and then finish and… yeah. Yeah. That was it.”
You blinked.
And blinked again, more rapidly this time. “Sorry, what?”
Jungkook grimaced, cowering a bit at your tone. “It felt good. And stuff,” he said defensively.
You felt offended for him. “You’re joking.”
He gave you a sidelong glance and sighed. “It wasn’t good. But I figured it wouldn’t be like the pornos.”
“Well, it’s not,” you agreed. “But sex sure as hell isn’t… whatever fuckery you just described.”
His spine was emulating a shrimp at the moment. “Yeah.”
You looked down at the ring.
“You wanted to marry this woman?”
His eyes followed yours. “The parts of it that were good were good.”
You doubted it but you bit that lackluster lure anyway. “Like what?”
Something in his eyes broke. “Like… We watched the same shows. She loved to dance. Had a great smile, loved to laugh… I used to make her laugh all the time.” His lashes lowered. “In the beginning, she’d surprise me by signing us up for random classes around the city. Pottery, painting, cooking, flower arrangement, making traditional Korean alcohol. We learned a lot of stuff together. It was good,” he breathed out, his hands clasped around each other. “And then… One time, she signed us up for some activity but I already had plans. I didn’t want to cancel them. We argued. I remember she was so uncharacteristically angry about it. She was almost never like that. So, I must have been the wrong one, right? She never enrolled us for another class again. We had fun, until…” He trailed off.
Leaving the empty calendar as his constant reminder, you thought. It was a clever tactic. Even now, he was questioning himself. You narrowed your eyes. Poked the bear a bit. “Sounds more like she dragged you around without even asking you first. Did you actually have fun at any of these things?”
His gaze shifted. “I… I did…”
It didn’t even sound like he believed himself.
You sighed, defeated. “A ring wasn’t gonna save that house of cards.”
His eyes went to the almost-engagement ring. You tried to imagine it. Something so alive becoming so catatonic over time. Trying to do everything you could to resurrect what was lost, only to learn it had been alive after all.
Just not with you.
“No. It wouldn’t,” he agreed hollowly.
Silence.
Back to square one.
You reached over and took the plate and mug. Washed them, lathering up with the dish soap, rinsing it off. Dried them, because you were unsure if Namjoon’s dishwasher was a frequently used appliance or a drying rack. It was empty so it was hard to tell. You squeezed out the sponge and set it back into its niche. Placed the dishes back into their respective places. Dried off your hands. Turned around.
Jungkook was still staring at the ring.
“Life only gets harder,” you said softly.
He raised his head, confronting you with a devastating desolation in his eyes. Part of you wanted to lie. Lie, and say it got easier. Lie, and say he would find someone better. Lie, but what would be the point to lie to someone that had already been lied to so deeply, so cruelly, still bleeding from a wound that would become a scar someday? You couldn’t assure anything. You couldn’t lie. It got harder the more you cared. It got harder the more hurt you had time to witness. It got harder as time slipped away. You just had to hope that random chance and a bit of luck was on your side.
“Could I put it on your finger?” Jungkook asked.
You set down the washcloth. The comprehension of his question sank in. “What?”
He reached down.
Wrapped his shaking fingers around the box, and tilted it towards you. The white sapphire glistened, foreign, beautiful, and not yours. Not for your eyes. Not for your hand. Not meaning anything to you, to that relationship, to anything anymore.
It was another shiny thing that had become dull without meaning.
“Could I put this ring on your hand, please?” he pleaded again. “Just once. Just once since… Since I don’t know if I… If I will ever get the chance to do it.”
You wanted to tell him, of course you will. Of course, being that handsome and naïve and innocent and, goddamn, he has such big wistful eyes, fuck, you thought, taking one step. Two. Three. That was all it took. You looked down at the ring. You saw his tattooed fingers fumble a little with the thin band. It was almost comical. You were in your house clothes. Jungkook was in his pajamas. Namjoon’s kitchen counter was not a place for a not-proposal. Your left hand came forward. Your fingers spread out a little, and Jungkook’s left hand gently slid under, lifting your wrist, warm and careful, and your eyes found his.
A complex maze of emotions met you.
You lifted your ring finger.
Jungkook said your name, very quietly. It appeared that he had finally read those tests Namjoon had sent him ages ago. Probably before or after his shower. You nodded, not really knowing what to say. This wasn’t in the life handbook, per se. And the way he said your name, delicately and with such breakability, made you not want to dispute it.
He looked down and slid the engagement ring on your finger.
Stared.
Pulled his hands away, letting out a tense exhale.
The large stone gleamed.
You moved your fingers ever-so-slightly, and the ring flipped, the stone dropping down to the inside of your hand.
Awkward.
“Oh…”
You used your right to adjust it. “It’s… Sorry. It’s slightly too big for my ring finger,” you muttered, trying to jam the gold band down a bit to help. “Welp.”
“It’s okay,” Jungkook chuckled and, to your surprise, he sounded almost amused. “I just wanted to see what it would look like on you.”
“It’s very shiny,” you admitted. Namjoon’s previous words gave you another swift kick to the pants. “I mean, it’s nice. It’s a lovely ring. You made a good choice.” You held the band delicately and switched it to your middle finger. It fit perfectly, without moving. “Ah, there we go.” You held your left hand up, palm towards you and showed it off to him. “Now you can see it without it slipping and sliding anywhere.”
You stilled once you saw his expression.
A longing for something no longer possible.
And yet there was a ghost of a smile on his lips.
He noticed your focus on him and Jungkook smiled for real, the action not reaching his eyes at all.
“It looks good on you. Pretty hands.”
It was a compliment but he said it with all the joy of one getting their heart ripped from their chest.
A strange surge of protectiveness overcame you.
You had never met Jungkook’s would-be fiancé, but in this moment, if you did, she sure as hell would not want to meet you. You couldn’t keep it in your damn pants, woman? Bitch. You scowled even at the thought. Jungkook was too transfixed on his engagement ring on your middle finger to give a fuck. This whole situation was infuriating. Sure, you were too clinically cynical for a mushy-gushy fairytale but, fuck, couldn’t we bend life’s rules just once for this sucker? You lowered your hands. His eyes followed, dulled in the presence of the sparkle. You moved to take it off.
His gaze snapped to yours.
You stopped.
It was like seeing someone alive and dead at the same time. He seemed to be in the midst of a daydream and a nightmare, thoughts crossed between what could have been and what was lost. You wanted to say something movie-script worthy, something to make it all better, and yet you held back once more, not quite believing in them yourself. The ring seemed unusually heavy now.
“It doesn’t match you though,” Jungkook suddenly muttered.
You looked down at the ring. “No. Not really.”
“White gold would look better.”
He was correct. Maybe he could tell from the small hoops in your ears. “Ah, yeah. I’m more of a white gold girl.”
“You deserve a diamond.”
You scoffed. He caught your eye. For once, you were the one to look away, breaking that contact.
“Hah… No, I don’t.”
Not like you did anything to deserve a diamond. You went to work. Went home, puttered around. Passed out. Sometimes you went out in search of a fuck. Sometimes you traveled a bit to cut through the mundane. But there was no charity work here. For what? To end up like Jungkook? To have your trust broken, shattered by someone you thought would keep it safe? And you couldn’t blame them and take revenge, because the high road had no room for low blows. Supposedly heaven was only for the most righteous, which already excluded you. Might as well live to the bare minimum instead of chasing an ideal knowing you could never be forgiven.
And all that shit.
Somehow your space-out had resulted in you completely losing track of Jungkook. One second, he was sitting in the tan leather barstool in front of you. The next, it was empty. You started, and then turned.
Face-to-face.
Jungkook took your left hand in his right.
Held it.
The conversation had gone on so long that his hair was dry now. A little frizzy from being air-dried. It covered his forehead, but not his eyes. His warmth and yours connected. From palm to palm. Under those big eyes was heavy darkness, hinting at sleepless nights. You paused, unsure of his motive. He seemed to be searching for something.
You caught his wrist.
Jungkook froze in mid-movement, about to lean his head down.
You shook yours.
“Don’t.”
He didn’t advance but also didn’t back off. “… Don’t what?”
You squeezed his wrist. His expression rippled. A sound muted in his throat.
“Don’t do it,” you warned again. “You don’t know what you’re getting into.”
Contemplation flitted over his face. His eyes went from his ring on your middle finger to you. Tense, elongated seconds passed. You could tell Jungkook hadn’t quite expected that answer from you. He had expected the rejection, and yet. There was a mixture of defiance and innocence in his gaze. You could smell his scent under the body wash he had used. Masculine and earthy.
You inhaled deeply.
Don’t, you thought, but this time it was to scold yourself.
“It won’t make you feel better,” you assured him.
He was more focused on your hand gripping his wrist than your words. You did not let go. In fact, you tightened your hold, your fingers pressing into his tattoos, the ring digging into you and into him. His dark eyes raised.
“You sure about that?” he whispered.
Uh oh.
Jungkook reached up with his left hand and brought your joined hands to his body. For a brief suspended moment, the round cut white sapphire cut into his clothed chest, close enough for you to feel the racing beat of his heart. You let go of his wrist, giving way to the pressure, and immediately he turned your hand, placing your palm to fabric.
Grazed your touch over his quivering pecs.
He sucked in a breath, his expression hazing over.
You stared at him.
He stared back, his lips forming your name.
Your right hand shot up and covered his mouth. You were trembling. You seized up immediately, wondering if he noticed, but at this point what did it matter? His left hand was still keeping yours on his body, pressing your fingers to the contours of his muscle. “What… What are you doing?” You sharpened your tone, trying to drag him back into reality. You almost expected a cliché answer at this point, but Jungkook only replied breathlessly, “I don’t know.”
I don’t know.
For someone that had been practically disintegrating before your eyes minutes ago, Jeon Jungkook was feeling very solid right now. But it was obvious what he was doing. Right? You looked into his eyes but couldn’t hold it. He just wanted comfort. He just wanted a feeling more than anything. He just wanted to prove that he was worthy of some kind of intimacy, any kind of intimacy, and he was using you, but it didn’t have to be you, it could be anyone.
You clenched your jaw, curling your fingernails inward.
Jungkook’s low moan cut through your venom.
You raised your head, turning your head to him. It didn’t have to be you. But he was looking at you like that. It doesn’t have to be you, and you kept telling yourself that, you kept thinking that but Jungkook kept looking at you like you could save him, from the first meeting at the front door to the standoff at the door of the bathroom to the gaze over empty dishes and a sparkling stone, save you, shit, I can’t even save myself, and you were still wearing his almost engagement ring for another woman on your middle finger, a big fuck-you to that shattered martial life, and before you knew it there was a collision of your lips to his. Your right hand had shot up, hooking around his head, and you dragged Jungkook down to your level.
Low, because the high road had already fucked him over.
He let out a startled squeak that you swallowed, consumed, devoured, and you stole every breath he took in lips and tongue, clawing your fingers through his hair. Then your mind caught up with your body still electrified with craving, asking yourself if you should stop, but then you noticed Jungkook’s hands were grasping for your upper arms, dragging you to him. There was a brief thought of how this was not the kind of intimacy he had received in a long time, and so perhaps his hunger was justified.
Truthfully, hunger was putting it mildly.
You bit his lower lip and sucked hard, opening your eyes.
Jungkook was looking back, and he was falling.
You released him, your tongue snaking out, and simultaneous shivers sprang forth from the fork in the road. Your nails raked over clothes and skin, drawing out his gasps like droplets during a thunderstorm, and you gleefully drowned in his sound. Your tongue pressed to his throat, teeth soon after, leaving bruises in your wake, dying for that taste of flushed skin. Bodies close but pain even closer, and there was no good reason that this should feel good which was precisely why it felt heavenly.
You dragged your hands up to his head, caged into his hair possessively, feeling the unrelenting trap of the ring still on your bent fingers.
Your right eye and his left locked as your tingling lips moved against his cheek.
“I’m still wearing your ring.”
His hot, heavy breath radiated against your neck.
“The ring,” he corrected.
The rebellion in his eyes gleamed.
The ring.
Your left hand trailed down, onto his chest, turning your nails inward, and you watched him follow it, fixated on the ring, replacing any former thoughts he had of it with right now, with the way you slipped your fingers under the hem of his shirt, deliberately catching it onto the large stone, all those expensive carats brought for someone else and now worn by a deviant, creeping up his torso, pushing away the fabric between his nakedness and your carnal intent.
Your eyes connected.
You licked the side of your lip, slowly smirking. “Your plan was for me to fuck you wearing it?”
His cheeks turned pink at your teasing.
“N-No, I d-didn’t… I…”
Jungkook sucked in a tight breath as the pad of your finger brushed over his nipple. You did it again. He looked embarrassed. You weren’t. You pressed your other hand against his abdomen and felt him tense, exposing muscle that was surely crafted from long hours at the gym. You dug your nails in. He moaned, and you hissed his name like a fond prayer, mesmerized by the way his hair fell over his eyes, his body bowing towards you. You gripped his shirt in one hand, his pants in the other, and pulled them away from his body, up and down respectively, exposing skin and desperation.
He grabbed the sides of his shirt and yanked it up and over his head.
Your tongue touched his chest, sliding upwards.
His head fell back, black hair flaring, dark eyes half-moons of lust, his mouth open and depraved sound escaping, all the way up his throat until you reached his chin, rising to tiptoes, and then Jungkook returned, catching your lips with a persistent kiss, possessed by instinct.
You thrust your tongue into his mouth and felt his hands slide under your tank top, wrapping around your waist. You weren’t wearing a bra. After all, you had originally intended on not spending much time here. That hadn’t worked out. The looseness of the top had prevented you from revealing any obvious shape and until now you hadn’t given it much thought. You felt Jungkook pinch the edges of the fabric and tug back, shaping the white jersey into the soft curve of your breasts and the peaks of your hard nipples. He was looking too, even with your tongue in his mouth.
He let out a muffled, “Fuck…” in between gasps.
You pulled back with a nick of his lower lip. Entranced, he leaned down, his hands pressing into the small of your back, and you bent into it, arching your spine as you felt warm wetness rub against one of your nipples.
You watched him.
He watched you back, circling the tip of his pink tongue around the nub, soaking the fabric and sticking it to your skin. Sucking on it, sending a flare of pleasure up your torso, his palms solidly in the bend of your waist. Your pulse snaked upwards, catching in your throat, reducing all thoughts to white noise, and you lost yourself in the way his tongue moved, licked, trailing from one nipple to the other, saliva soaking through your shirt and clinging to your skin, painting you in clear lust.
You hooked a leg around his hip and you could feel him.
You reached between your bodies and dragged the hem up your chest, baring your breasts to his eyes and searching mouth. Jungkook didn’t need to be asked twice. It was as if everything he had seen, longed for, dreamed of, all that he had repressed and tried to forget burst up to the surface, uninhibited any longer, and the feeling of his eager tongue on your wet, hard nipples was intoxicatingly electric. Your grip dug into his hair, pressing his head into your chest. Heat rising from your bodies, sparks igniting in your blood at his frantic licks, rolling your hips into his growing erection.
There really was very littler separating his hard cock and your dampening pussy.
Your nails raked over his back.
“Harder,” he groaned, clutching your waist so hard that it was impossible to get away.
You growled and delivered.
His eyes rolled back, his eyelids fluttering, and you had a fistful of his hair, pulling hard. You wondered if this was actually his kink or a product of circumstance. The glazed-over look in his eyes and violent twitching of his hardness between your thighs was hinting towards the former, which wasn’t a good thing.
Mostly because being on the other side of masochism was your kink.
Fuck.
You shoved his face into your chest and muffled his desperate moan as you yanked on his hair again, striking your hips into his hard-on, putting more force in it than necessary. He held your waist and grinded into the dip of your upper thigh. You closed your legs around him. The friction was sending him over the edge, even to the point of you being able to hear and feel the squish of drenched fabrics between you and him. Your breathing was rapid, shallow, thinning.
You shoved him off you.
Jungkook had a moment of disoriented breathlessness.
Your shirt flew off, over the counter and somewhere into the living room. You immediately dropped with such speed that he had no time to react when you snagged your fingers over the two waistbands of his pants and underwear, and yanked them down to the floor. Those big eyes widened, but you fixated on his thick, hard cock that sprang out, the tip dark red and angry. Slick with pre-cum. You would smell him. Heady and needy. He had nice balls, you observed. Supple and full.
Not for long.
You slid your right hand up. Covering his balls with your palm, anchoring his shaft between your middle and ring finger. Raised your left hand, and looked up at him.
Jungkook looked back, mouth open, eyes widening.
You slapped his erection.
Hard.
His entire body jolted and his gasp morphed into a strangled moan. You watched flashes of reaction overtake his expression. Shame. Desire. Regret. Then regret at that regret. Then need, want, starvation, his hands curling into fists, his chest rapidly rising and falling, and you took his breath away by smacking the shaft again, hard. His cock snapped back into place instantly, twitching, harder than before. He sucked in a tight breath, shaking his head with his lips whispering, “P… Please…”
You tipped your head back and slapped his dick, the ring on your hand visible every time you smacked it down.
Ecstasy rippled through his body. You could tell Jungkook could see the whisper of the sapphire too, maybe even feel the gold band, and it was turning him on even more. Due to the placement of your other hand, you could keep him still and increase the force, even pressing your palm into his balls to add further pressure. He fell apart in real time, but in pain superimposed with pleasure, each strike a spike to your core, thundering heartbeat roaring in your ears.
You stopped mid-slap.
Jungkook nearly protested.
Until you swallowed his cock.
You felt him swell and shudder at the contact of your tongue and throat closing in around his girth, and you pushed up, swirling wet muscle around him, covering him in saliva, drunk at the taste and fullness trapped between your lips. Up, down, vibrating the low point of your throat before drawing back, grazing your lips around the head, slow-fucking the tip.
You raised your eyes to stare into his face.
He was looking back, in awe and intoxication. He had fallen over a bit, draping you in shadow, his hands gripping the edge of the kitchen counter, and you sucked lightly, arcing your spine to delight him with the perkiness of your breasts.
“Oh… fuck… O-Oh, god…”
You tilted your head back and took him in deep, circling your tongue around the length before closing in at the back of your mouth and gently stroking the throbbing head with the contraction of your inner muscles. A low groan drifted from his lips, astonished at the precision of your control. You reached up and kneaded his balls, applying even pressure throughout before pulsing tighter. His reaction was immediate, yelping as his eyelids fluttered, letting out a weak and desperate, “A-Again…” You squeezed again, sucking hard in unison. “F-Fuck, again, p-please…”
But you did him one better.
You smacked his balls with the pads of your fingers.
Jungkook threw his head back and bit back an intense moan, his shoulders shaking.
“Holy… w-what…?”
The trick to it was to apply force but immediately cease all movement after contact with skin. His nerves would immediately register the power of the hit while the recoil repercussions would be minimal. His nuts couldn’t handle being a springboard, after all. It took a lot of control, and was easier to do if you angled upwards, as it would prevent your fingernails from getting caught on his balls while also allowing his body to absorb the shock. You didn’t hit him that hard. It was very likely that he didn’t have much experience in this – unless he was smacking his own balls while jacking himself off. Unlikely, though. And this was confirmed by the way he froze up and simply allowed you to choke with dick with your mouth as you smacked his balls. No part of him resisted. He left himself be at your mercy, even asking for more, nonsensical pleas above your head, and you could feel that he was nearing the end, mostly because he was biting hard on his lower lip, his obscene noises even louder despite being stifled in his throat, and so for the very end you switched to keeping his balls in a locked grip, maintaining constant pressure as you focused on his cock, up, down, repeat, over and over, feeling him twitch against your tongue.
His thick cum flooded the back of your mouth.
His head snapped back and Jungkook screamed behind closed lips, orgasming in your punishing mouth in the middle of Namjoon’s kitchen, his pants and underwear at his ankles, his chest beaded with sweat, and his cock jolted again, streaming more down your throat. You swallowed shallowly, and Jungkook’s pitch hitched to pathetic. His right hand flew to his chest and he dug his blunt nails into his skin, scratching down his chest roughly, moaning to the ceiling as your tongue ghosted around his still-hard cock.
You swallowed again.
Jungkook cried out and thrust his hips into your face.
His chin tipped down and you caught his surprised cry, “I… I’m still hard?” As if he wasn’t trying to end your life right here on foreign tile. You grabbed his hips, easing him back a little, then resumed a deliberate, leisurely back-and-forth, watching his every move.
His arm lowered, his dark tattoos glimmering with sweat. Panting. You raised your left hand and spread your fingers along his v-line. Traced his abs with your middle finger, cocking an eyebrow. His eyes chased your actions with wanton fervor. As if he almost forgot you were still wearing the ring, but then remembered once you put it in his vision again. It aroused him. You felt his cock shiver as you touched him. The wrongness of it all turned him on.
A very expensive turn-on, but a rare silver lining of the day.
His gaze shifted to your face, shame clouding his eyes.
You pulled back, resting the head of his cock on the flat of your tongue.
“Tell me you like it,” you ordered, talking around his dick.
“Uh… W-What?”
Your eye-line went from the ring to his face. You pinched your lips around the base of the head, causing him to gasp sharply, before opening your mouth again to speak.
“Tell me you like watching me get you off while wearing the ring.”
His eyes widened.
You slipped your left thumb along the underside of his drenched length and sucked on the head, closing your fingers around the shaft. His breath caught. You pulled your head back, perfected your grip, and started jacking him off.
With that very expensive rock completing the obscene image.
The whine Jungkook made was in between raw shock and intense bliss, gawking at your audacity. Or depravity. Whichever. He was going to need a good jewelry cleaner before selling this ring back, but you wouldn’t mind paying for that. The gold band was slippery with spit and a hint of cum, but you kept your fingers together, preventing the stone from moving, dispersing tight and firm pressure throughout his pulsing hardness, feeling a grin creep onto your lips, relishing in his whimper and panic, betrayed by his body leaning into the punishment.
“I… oh, f-fuck… Fuck…”
You lifted an eyebrow and slowed down just a tad.
“N-No, please...! I… I like it,” he whispered, his normally deep voice strained.
You smacked the front of his balls with the backs of two fingers from your free hand.
Jungkook moaned and crumpled, almost into a ninety-degree bow, clasping the edge of the counter. “A-Ah, g-god… I l-like it…” His eyes swam with desire, ensnaring you in his immoral feelings. “I need it… It’s so fucking hot… You getting me off while wearing the ring I brought for a-another woman…” His voice wavered. He clenched his jaw, tightening his core, giving you more room to continue. “Spit on it. Let me cum on it. Fuck. Fuck, ruin me.”
Your hand was rapidly moving on its own while your lips parted, locked in the twisted passion of this fucked-up context.
“Ruin me.”
Jungkook was staring right at you, an order and a plea in the same breath, his eyes so dark in this shadow that they seemed black. A bolt of sinful pleasure slid down your spine. You gripped his cock, tighter, imprisoning him. Somehow he had become even harder, his rapid pulse against the palm of your hand. You could feel his greed for pain, his appetite for your power, his directed attention locked on you, just you, you and everything you were right now, fighting the burn in your bicep but not stopping, fueled by feral willpower and corrupt adrenaline that was better than any runner’s high.
You smiled, unable to hide your enjoyment any longer.
He saw it, acknowledged it, and shuddered.
“I-I’m gonna cum, oh fuck–!”
You opened your mouth and Jungkook shot onto your tongue. Thick, hot, viscous streaks, the bittersweet taste coating your tongue. Devilishly divine. You pressed the tip to your wet muscle and he whined, forcing his eyes open to watch himself dump his load into your mouth. You rubbed it back and forth, making him flinch all over, and so you subsided in seeing him reach his limit even though his eyes were devouring every second of this wickedness.
You drew back a little.
Closed your knees inward, which lifted up your torso.
And spat onto your hand.
Onto the ring. Coating it in an unholy mixture of cum and saliva over a still glimmering white sapphire and shining yellow gold. Jungkook gasped your name in amazement, speechless at the depravity. You tucked your head back, watching the silky fluids sink in between your fingers, smirking, your skin tingling as you witnessed it.
You looked up at him.
He looked back at you. Jaw slack. Eyes wide. Half-hard in your hand and getting harder as you slowly, deliberately, stroked his cock with the slick, milky, makeshift lubricant. You felt it stick to his balls, run down your wrist, making a mess, the heady scent of his release saturating the air and this memory.
“You’re persistent,” you remarked, ticking your chin to his dick.
A whimper bubbled from his chest. “That’s… That’s n-not me.”
You shot him an oh-really look.
“That’s all him,” Jungkook protested, gesturing wildly to his lower half. “I don’t even… I’m not normally like this!”
“Uh huh,” you agreed dismissively.
“It’s true!”
“Well, I wouldn’t know,” you pointed out.
“I… Oh, f-fuck…”
-
You opened the front door to your apartment to a shirtless Jeon Jungkook with his blue plaid pajama pants so hastily yanked on that you wondered if half a butt cheek was hanging out. Then you wondered what the fuck he was doing here.
You stared at him.
He stared at you.
Out of breath, clutching one side of the doorframe, relief crushing through the panic in his eyes. His hair was sticking up halfway, as if he had attempted do it something about it but ultimately decided he didn’t care. He stood in the dark hallway, the light from your apartment washing over him. You had a good reason for being in your home at the moment. Ultimately the idea of using Namjoon’s dishes to clean off Jungkook’s bodily fluids on a very expensive ring was, uh, too much. Overstepping an unspoken boundary, mayhap. As if having sex with his friend in his kitchen wasn’t. Anyway, you had jewelry cleaner under your kitchen sink. The plan was simple. Get in your apartment, put the ring in one of the shallow metal saucers you had, rinse off your hands while heating up a bit of hot water, wash off the ring with said hot water in the safety of the saucer, polish it up with jewelry cleaner. It was dying on a paper towel in your kitchen right now. Nowhere close to the sink because you weren’t about to lose millions of won that didn’t belong to you to the sewer.
So, yeah. That was why you were here.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” you loudly whispered.
Jungkook exhaled hard, his dark brows knitting together. “What? You have the ring,” he hiss-whispered back.
You bristled. “I told you I was cleaning it off.”
His eyes darted up and down, as if disapproving that you had put your tank top back on. Of course you had put your shirt back on. What were you going to do, slink back into your apartment with your tits out and one of your hands covered in his cum? Yes, that happened. After spitting on him, you had put his hard cock back into your mouth, sucked him until about halfway to the high, and finished him off with your right hand, all so you could make him orgasm onto the ring on your left, onto your middle finger, cum sliding down your forearm. It hadn’t taken long. You had pointed that out to Jungkook too. He had told you to shut up, his ears bright red as he did so.
Naturally, you took that moment to hightail it out of there so he could fix himself up in peace and relative dignity.
“How would I know you weren’t stealing it?” he snapped.
You rolled your eyes. “Yes, I’m totally going to drive to the pawn shop with a cum-covered ring and get extra for your excellent sperm sample. It’s time sensitive, after all,” you added sarcastically, not backing down despite his irritated demeanor. 
He flapped his jaw, likely not knowing how to respond to that, and then collected himself. “Well, just because you’re washing it off doesn’t mean you would come back!”
You were personally offended. “I was coming back,” you retorted.
A darkness laced into his gaze.
“I have no reason to believe that,” Jungkook muttered.
Any anger you had dissipated upon hearing his words. Your shoulders slumped and you lowered your eyes. Right. Yeah, obviously. The fight seemed to deflate out of him too, as if you both suddenly remembered why he was here at all, why you even knew who he was, why an almost-engagement ring was sparkling in your kitchen right now. You raised your head, and yet you hesitated at his hunched-up form before you, because in this equation the most probable outcome was you being nothing more than temporary comfort for a temporary wound.
Right?
Yeah, obviously.
Jungkook looked up, meeting your eyes, and, despite your best self-deprecation, something in his expression told you that he didn’t run over here half-naked for the stupid ring.
Your lips parted.
Somewhere down the hall, a bubble of laughter and conversation began to rise.
Panic shot through your chest. He caught on just as quickly, his big eyes widening, half-turning, as if there was time to gauge how much time he had to make his getaway, but your hands moved on their own, snatching him by the shoulders and pulling hard, throwing both of you into the confines of your apartment. His arms flew about like a rag doll. Jungkook stumbled in with a wheezing, “Wah!” You twisted, clearing the curve of the closing door, and pinned his back to it, slamming it shut.
Sudden quiet.
Except for the heightened awareness of your own rapid breathing. You closed your eyes, mentally counting, one two three four, two two three four, taking stock of each inhale and exhale. Shit. Shit, what the fuck were people doing out at this hour? Having fun?! With friends?!? Goddamnit, you thought, hoping nobody saw the shirtless man standing outside your door bickering with you, and suddenly you remembered said shirtless man was in your hands.
You opened your eyes to see Jungkook gawking at you with those innocent-looking big eyes of his.
He didn’t say anything.
You wondered if he would believe you.
“I was coming back,” you repeated, emphasizing it with a nod.
A complicated set of emotions flashed through the shadows of his expression. He nodded back, and you could tell he was doing it only to appease you. You shook him against the door and smacked your hands down on his shoulders, glaring back at him.
“I was coming back,” you growled.
Jungkook looked pained, as if he wanted to believe you more than anything, but just couldn’t.
You sucked on the inside of your cheek and flung yourself from him, spinning around sharply so he couldn’t see your face. You couldn’t blame him. Oh, you had lied before, lied with a straight face and no remorse, but for some reason the idea of Jungkook thinking that you were doing so made you terribly upset. Fuck, yeah, it pissed you off. And it wasn’t his fault, Rome wasn’t built in a day and all that shit, yet some part of you wanted to scream, believe me, please believe me, and you couldn’t for the life of you make heads or tails of why that was, walking in a circle, wringing your hands, rubbing your temples with a grimace, not wanting to take your outburst out on him.
It was such a small thing.
You were coming back, he didn’t believe you, and that was that, you would have to accept it.
But you couldn’t.
You just needed a second to accept it. Right?
“How the fuck did I get myself in this situation?”
You muttered under your breath, abruptly ceasing your pacing and turning around, intending to march over to the ring, drop it in Jungkook’s palm, and shove him out of your apartment. Shove him and his stupid sexy butt into Namjoon’s place to neatly compartmentalize that, so long and goodnight, and promptly flop onto your bed to sleep and forget any of this ever happened.
Except, when you faced him, Jungkook caught you.
You started, not realizing he had followed. One second his hands were on your upper arms, and the next they were wrapped around your back, pulling you to him and trapping you in a tight, encompassing embrace that was not for you.
Your hands instinctively came up to cradle his waist.
He buried his face into your hair and inhaled deeply, holding onto you as if his life depended on it. Almost crushing. You thought he was trembling but perhaps it was just your imagination as you felt each shuddering breath steady against your chest. Honestly, you weren’t the hugging type, but this night was proving to be a night of exceptions. You closed your arms around him, not saying anything, letting him have this. Probably the most normal interaction of the night, truly. Jungkook wasn’t crying. He might have, if you had rejected him, but your instinct didn’t have the heart to. You caressed his back, running your fingers over his soft skin.
You didn’t know him.
He could be a serial killer.
Well, if he was, you were considering to offer to bury the bodies.
“Hey… You shouldn’t…”
Even so, you trailed off. You weren’t sure you quite believed what you were trying to say.
“I don’t care.”
His warm breath haloed the crown of your head. He pressed his lips to your hair.
“I don’t care,” he said again, softer this time.
A small, sweet, wrong happiness fluttered at those words.
“Okay,” you breathed, your lips brushing against his neck. You kissed him lightly. Felt him shiver. You smiled. Truth was, you didn’t care either. That was pretty selfish of you. But he was here of his own volition. And Jungkook held you first. And who the fuck were you justifying this to? I’ve lost it, you told yourself for the umpteenth time as he was turned his head and suddenly his lips were a centimeter from yours.
In shadows, your eyes met his.
“I turned your whole world upside down,” you confessed, warning him that this was a one-way highway and he was breaking the speed limit.
You felt Jungkook smile.
“Thank fuck for that,” and then he put pedal to the metal.
Upon reflection, what the fuck was Jungkook thinking, bursting into your apartment with only pajama pants and a dream? Oh, and some sandals borrowed from Namjoon, which quickly flew off as you both stumbled into your living room, abandoning your clothes at an alarming rate. Your top over your head, your hands down his sides, and he hadn’t even bothered with his underwear, this would be my luck, I would want a lunatic, you thought as his thumbs hooked onto the edge of your shorts, pulling down. All the while with your tongue in his mouth.
Normally you would have a conversation about limits and intent and what this was all supposed to mean afterwards but under normal circumstances you would also never imagine having sex with someone you barely met after watching him cry within the first ten minutes.
So.
There was that.
You felt your panties slide down your ass and you grabbed his wrists, yanking them back up as your shorts and underwear slowly migrated down to the floor.
“Wha… W-What?” Jungkook sputtered, breaking out of the kiss and looking like a startled deer confronted by the headlights of your abrupt shift in body language. You sucked in a breath, your lips tingling.
Taking notes.
He immediately stopped even without you explicitly saying stop. He was not trying to overpower you to coerce you for more, even if he was now explicitly staring at your naked body with a bug-eyed expression. You pushed your hands forward and Jungkook stepped back, not quite understanding and blindly trusting you, which was not indicative of a sane headspace.
“You’ve done this before,” you breathed out, glaring up at him from below.
He shook his head very quickly. “No. Well… I mean… it is n-normally what I search for when I wanna get off, so you’re kinda a dream come true for me…”
You narrowed your eyes. “What are you talking about?”
A flutter of confusion.
“Uh… Being dominated by a hot woman?”
You stared at him.
Jungkook tilted his head.
“That’s not what I’m doing,” you said while gripping his wrists and in command of the situation.
His eyes shifted from side to side. “A… Aren’t you?”
A chill crept up your back. “What did you think I was going to do?” you pressed.
He looked back at you, blinking. “I don’t know,” Jungkook answered, sounding truthful.
You squeezed tighter. He gasped a little, his inhale hitching. You relaxed. He seemed disappointed.
“What’s wrong with you?” you snapped.
He paused for a moment and then replied with, “Trauma?”
Well, he wasn't wrong.
“Get on the sofa.”
“What?”
“Now.”
You had one of those viral extra-comfy modular sofas that could be placed in various orientations. Currently, it was as it always was – all linked together, turning the couch into more of a bed than anything else. Hey, there was a reason you enjoyed rotting on your sofa. Maybe you should have taken him to your bed, but Jungkook didn’t seem to care, reacting immediately when you shoved him. Actually, he seemed to approve of your furniture choices. He sat. You planted your hands on his chest and pushed him down, straddling his waist. He yelped, which you immediately silenced with a hand over his mouth and one on his dick, sliding down the underside and squeezing his balls.
His big eyes got bigger.
You slid up his torso, realizing you where dripping pussy juice everywhere. His hands ended up on your breasts. You raised your eyebrows. Those big eyes pleaded with you. You didn’t say anything, instead tilting your head back and toying with his balls, testing the waters. It was a little distracting with the pinching and rubbing of your nipples, but you took a second to test how much pressure he liked, if he enjoyed scratches (he did), if he enjoyed a tug (he did), and if he was fine with your weight on top of him (he was and he seemed to be trying to get you to move up a little higher for personal reasons). His dick was definitely into it. His stiff length was smacking your wrist. Pre-cum was smearing onto your forearm.
Without much warning, you sat back up, climbed over him, and turned around.
Your knees hit his shoulders. There was a gasping, “Wow, oh my god,” when Jungkook came face-to-face with your pussy. You leaned down to your elbows, hovered your hands over his inner thighs, his erection centimeters from your face, and slapped him extremely close to his balls.
Jungkook let out an inhuman noise and muffled him with your ass.
Hot, wet muscle slid against soaked skin. His arms wrapped around your thighs, his hands on your hips, sending a wave of sparks up your core as you descended, wrapping your tongue around his cock, running your fingernails over his balls, relishing in the sensation of tightened skin, tense muscle, and his taste, oh, fuck, his taste, your tongue running over the swollen tip. You kissed downwards. Your teeth braced around one of his balls, licking the curve while pressing the warm shaft against your cheek, using your palm to stroke up and down. Your hair was getting in the way, annoyingly, so you switched sides and swept it aside in the same movement, practically laying on his hard thigh and your upper arm as you kept a hand around his cock and sucked on one of his balls roughly while pinching the other between your knuckles as you jacked him off.
With your pussy rocking against his hungry mouth, of course.
You felt his tongue hit your clit and your body stiffened from the unexpected burst of concentrated pleasure, but that was soon replaced by his lips sealed around it, desperately sucking. He lacked technique, but then again it probably wasn’t that easy to concentrate either. A perverse sense of accomplishment simmered through you as you realized his blunt nails were digging into your ass, aiding you in the pace and his own suffocation. So, instead of actually getting him off, you edged him.
And continued edging him.
Until he made you cum.
You knew exactly when he was going to orgasm because he would pause, gasping, breaking the seal for a breath, and then at the very last second you would release his cock, making him whine and cry out before planting your pussy onto his mouth again. You did it again, and somewhere in Jungkook’s lizard brain he got the hint, gripping you harder and licking faster with his stifled groans vibrating against your thighs, building heat, the muscles in your back tightening, sucking harder as you felt the coil within tighten, so close, throbbing in your palm, close, the thinning thread almost at breaking point, and you lifted your head, tugging, his wet ball popping out of your mouth, and replaced your hand with your lips as something inside you snapped.
For a fleeting, desperate moment, you were plummeting through euphoric freefall.
The next, your contracted muscles suddenly relaxed with a pins-and-needles sensation shooting all throughout your nerves, overwhelming euphoria almost unbearable, barely registering that it was slippery and sticky between your thighs, realizing that you haven’t moved your head, but Jungkook was gasping, clutching your legs and arching his back so his chest pressed against your stomach. Aggressive flinches shot through his entire body, ricocheting from his core. His cock jerked in your mouth, beginning to soften. You didn’t taste any bitterness. Ah. He orgasmed without delivering any unpleasant package. In the back of your mind, you were relieved. This would have been the fourth nut of the night. It probably would have tasted quite bitter and you weren’t a quitter; you were lucky to be spared this time.
He couldn’t control it but you patted his thigh with gratitude anyway.
When you unpeeled yourself from him, Jungkook looked like he badly needed another shower.
“You okay?” you asked, poking his shoulder.
His chest was glistening with sweat. His hair was a mess. He looked like he was discovering oxygen for the first time. His eyes were unfocused. He didn’t even try to lift his arms, or move at all for that matter.
“Y… Yeah…” Jungkook wheezed.
You sat on your sofa and wondered how you ended up in the same place that you started this night.
-
Well.
As it was with life, things didn’t go as intended and now you were stuck in the usual fuckery. But that was fine. You could go back to your regular life of existing in what would most call a frivolous manner quite easily as long as you could somehow get rid of Jeon Jungkook. Which wasn’t happening. Oh. Great. You nodded at yourself in the bathroom mirror after washing up. Everything is going to be fine, you reminded yourself.
You turned around and Jungkook was standing behind you.
In the doorframe of your bathroom. Of course. You and Jeon Jungkook and doors. You blinked quickly, a little disoriented at how quickly he cleaned himself up in your kitchen. Such was the way of men that you would never understand. His hair was still unbrushed and wild, and he was rubbing his shoulder slightly with a grunt of discomfort, jolting to attention when he realized you were done. He was sans pajama pants. Your clothes were somewhere on the floor too.
“Um.”
You really thought at some moment Jungkook would have this internal revelation and shrink away from you, the burden of the past twenty-four hours finally hitting him, but instead he was in la-la land of following you around. A hair’s breath short of a musical number, probably. Delulu was the solulu. And while you wouldn’t advise the avoidance tactic yourself, you weren’t ready to break his reverie just yet.
But.
Sooner was better than later.
“Do you feel better?” you asked.
The dark cloud poisoned his eyes a little but not as much as before. “Uh… I don’t know.”
You hadn’t expected much of an answer. There was still a little sting of disappointment, though. “Pain is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be,” you said. “And a complicated emotion at that.”
His shoulder leaned against the doorframe but not in the stance of blocking your way out. It was more like he needed something else to hold him up. He still put on a brave face though. “I… I just feel like I wasted my time more than anything else,” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair and making it worse. “Shit, even fucking around like this was a million times better than whatever the fuck I was doing for the last two years.” He started, realizing how that sounded. “Not that – Not that this was fucking around, I mean…!”
You laughed.
Jungkook stared at you, his panic frozen.
You shook your head. “It was fucking around,” you said with a smirk.
“No, I don’t–”
You placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. It’s the only way I know how to cope myself.”
The conversation died.
The words from your mouth finally caught up to your brain. You stiffened, shooting Jungkook a flustered look and seeing a reflection of your emotion in his expression. “I mean… Comfort others. No. Well. I… It sounds worse than it is…” You trailed off, making it indeed sound worse than it was. “You’re… You wanted it?” It was supposed to be a statement but it came out as a question.
“Uh, y-yeah. Yeah, I did,” he stuttered, his eyes darted away swiftly, embarrassment evident. “S-Sorry.”
“No, I did too,” you added, and then abruptly cleared your throat. You sighed, annoyed at yourself for making this more difficult than it should be. “I… I really didn’t want you to do anything stupid. You seemed so… so sad. It bothered me. I wanted to do something for you,” you confessed after a pause. You chewed on the side of your lower lip. “Not that anything I’ve done mattered, I don’t think I’m a god or anything, I can’t control your feelings, so…”
“You are… You are probably the closest thing to a god I know.”
You raised your head and Jungkook was trying not to look at you and failing. He was picking at the paint on your doorframe, or at least pretending like he was.
“In the flesh. ‘Cause I guess we can’t really see gods and stuff…”
He was rambling a bunch of nonsense.
And you didn’t know why, but there was this feeling. It wasn’t about if you found him physically appealing. It wasn’t even about how endearing you found his habits, or about how he told you everything while pretending like he wasn’t, or about how you had an affinity for doing things that were not really the hallmarks of a good person. There was just this feeling. This awkwardness that somehow didn’t feel negative. This state of high that wasn’t going away even though you weren’t really thinking about screwing him again. You might never see him after this. You might see him for a little bit and part. These were all probable outcomes. Forever only existed in the afterlife which was why you lived on a false prayer and a why-the-fuck-not attitude. You knew all this.
And yet, the feeling persisted.
“I must say,” you mused, staring at him, this feeling bubbling up your ribcage. “I haven’t done a stupid thing like this since I was in university.”
Jungkook blinked at you.
“Which was years ago,” you clarified. “I thought I was over that phase.”
Your eyes went to his tattoos. Then back to his face. He had a bunch of ear piercings you noticed right now. To be fair, you weren’t exactly ogling his earlobes while he was sobbing into his duffel bag. That would be weird. He noticed you looking. Consciously but trying to play it cool, he shifted his right arm to show off a little more. You pretended that you didn’t notice while totally noticing. This close to an eyebrow wiggle. And then you suddenly remembered something.
“Erm… Where are you gonna live?”
He frowned as if he, too, hadn’t thought that far. “Uh. I dunno. I was gonna stay with Namjoon-hyung a couple days and then look up apartments…” He looked pained. “I might have to rent a room… I can’t go back to Busan. My work is here. Man…”
“Ah,” you timidly agreed. “Yeah. Good call.”
There was a pregnant silence.
“But the leasing office only gives out two keys,” you thought out loud. “And I have his other one. So… I could give it to you. But then you would have to be the one that comes to rescue him every time he’s locked himself out. I guess I could let him stay my place until you arrive. Or maybe you have a flexible schedule, so it wouldn’t be an issue.”
Jungkook rubbed his chest, wincing. “Oh… I’m a videographer. I have a schedule every two weeks, but there are odd call times, especially when we are filming outside… depends on the client and what they need. Uh…”
You coughed awkwardly. “Hm. I work from home. So. I’m always here, basically.”
Both of you were avoiding each other’s eyes. There was another, heavily pregnant silence.
You cast him a sidelong glance.
He gave you a similar hesitant but hopeful look.
“You don’t know me,” you reminded him. “I could be really horrible to live with.”
Jungkook peered over your head to observe the state of your bathroom. He glanced back to you. “Looks clean to me.” His eyes were shining. So bright. So adorable. It was over for you.
“I spend all of my free time rotting on my couch and watching YouTube,” you admitted, weakly trying to dissuade him.
“Me too!” He chimed in, a little too excitedly. He coughed and straightened a bit. “Uh… I cook too. And do laundry. I’m really good at household chores. I can show you. I can clean right now!”
You grabbed his arm before he could shoot away and top-down scrub your apartment at three in the morning butt naked. “Er, we could… Do a trial run. Of you…” You noticed that you had yanked him hard enough so that you were now staring at his chest as you spoke. With each word, you raised your line of vision. From his clavicle, to his neck, to his dark pink lips clearly indicative of shared kisses, to his soulful eyes gazing down at you.
Yearning.
“Living with me,” you finished, loosening your hold a bit. Trailing down to his wrist. “If you want.”
His eyes shifted but he was doing anything but resisting. “You sure… About that?”
You weren’t and at the same time you were.
“It’s only until you get back on your feet.” You tried to sound firm about it but somehow you were holding his hand now, clutching it tightly. “I’m sure you want… More space. Or there will be something you don’t like about this apartment. For example, I only have one bed. And it’s a full-sized bed.”
Jungkook was staring into your eyes and his face was getting closer.
“Sounds nice,” he murmured, his breath against your nose.
“It’s not,” you assured him, and you tilted your head up to kiss him.
--
masterpost
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shdysders · 5 months ago
Text
the test
pairing: jenna ortega & female reader
summary: you find a test. a positive test.
word count: 2.4k
author’s note: i’ll just start this off by saying i will not be making a part 2 of this.
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When you first found it, you had decided not to say anything, hoping she would bring it up first.
But as days passed and she remained silent, you felt yourself grow increasingly desperate, almost angry at her for not doing anything about it.
After days of building up the courage to confront her about it, you finally did it one day when she came home from the grocery store.
You found Jenna in the doorway, kicking off her shoes, having just put the grocery bags on the kitchen counter.
Standing up form your previous place on the couch, you spoke up demanding.
"What's this?" you held up the pregnancy test.
Positive. Pregnancy test.
She looked up, her eyes widening when she saw the test in your hand. Her face paled, the color drained completely, and her whole body stiffened.
"Where did you find that?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Hidden in the back of the bathroom cabinet," you replied, your tone edged with frustration.
"You weren't supposed to find that," Jenna said, her voice trembling.
You felt a surge of anger. The fact that she tried to hide the test made it clear she had no intention of telling you anytime soon. It was as if she hoped it would just go away on its own. The realization that she might have been planning to keep this a secret forever only fueled your frustration.
"Yeah, well, it's a little late for that," you said sharply. "I'm not sure what you were thinking, but this is something I need to know about."
Jenna's face flushed with a mix of fear and guilt. Her eyes darted around the room, unable to meet yours. She swallowed hard, her hands trembling slightly at her sides. The weight of your words seemed to crush her, and she shifted uncomfortably, her breath coming in short, shaky bursts. She looked like she was searching for the right words but found herself caught in a paralyzing silence.
"How did this happen?" you demanded, your voice sharp with frustration.
She didn't answer immediately, the look in her face told you she was thinking hard. Like the answer wasn't obvious.
"I... I don't know," Jenna said finally, her voice trembling.
"You don't know?" you echoed incredulously. "You just accidentally got pregnant?"
Jenna's eyes welled up with tears as she looked at you, her voice barely a whisper. "I didn't mean for it to happen. I was drunk, and it was a mistake. I just... I don't know how it got to this point."
You stared at her, your anger and confusion swirling together. "A mistake?" you said, your voice strained. "This isn't just a mistake, Jenna. This is something that affects both of us, and you can't just brush it off. I need answers, not excuses."
Jenna opened her mouth, but no words came out. Her face was a mix of anguish and helplessness.
"Please, just explain what happened," you said, your voice edged with desperation. "I need to understand. How did we get here?"
Her face was pale and drawn, her eyes darting nervously as if searching for an escape. Her hands trembled slightly, and she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, clearly struggling to find the right words.
The silence stretched painfully as she avoided making direct eye contact, her expression a mixture of shame and fear. It was evident she didn't want to say anything, and every second felt like a heavy burden pressing down on her.
Finally, she took a deep breath and began, her voice trembling. "When I was in Romania, the cast decided to go out for drinks to celebrate wrapping. Everyone went crazy with the drinks. I didn't think much of it at first; I just wanted to relax… But the night got out of hand."
She took a shaky breath. "I ended up drinking way too much. I met him, and things just... happened."
You stared at her, struggling to process everything. "What happened?" It might've been a stupid question, but it only felt reasonable to force her say it out loud.
Jenna looked at you, her eyes filled with a mixture of dread and resignation, as if being forced to confront the inevitable was worse than acting it out. She swallowed hard, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I slept with him."
Your heart pounded in your chest, and a sickening feeling settled in the pit of your stomach. It felt as if the ground had been pulled out from under you, and you struggled to find your footing in the midst of the emotional turmoil. Even though you had suspected something like this had happened, hearing her say it out loud made it all too real.
Thinking back to the past few weeks, you realized how Jenna had been acting strange—more on edge, distracted, and off guard. At the time, you had brushed it off, chalking it up to stress or exhaustion from work. But now, in the harsh light of her confession, all those little signs seemed glaringly obvious.
Meeting her guilty gaze did nothing but intensify your pain. The way she was biting her lips proved that she was nervous, afraid that you'd notice something that wasn't right.
And it didn't take long until you did.
"Because you were drunk?"you asked, needing clarification.
Jenna nodded, her voice low, her gaze flickering down to the wooden floor beneath her. "Yes."
"That's not what Hunter told me," you replied, your anger rising. Jenna's gaze flickered up to you, eyes widening in surprise and fear.
"He said you were the only one who didn't go crazy. You weren't drunk; you barely drank throughout the whole time there. You knew exactly what you were doing."
Her eyes widen in shock, and she stammers, "What? No, that's not true. I was... I was really out of it."
"Don't you dare lie to me." you spat.
Jenna's face paled even more, her eyes dropping to the floor. You could see the hesitation in her body language, and it made you press further.
"What else aren't you telling me, Jenna?" you demanded, your voice trembling with anger. "Was it just that one time?"
Jenna's silence was deafening, her hesitation only confirming your worst fears.
"Tell me the truth," you said, your voice a mix of desperation and rage.
She took a deep breath, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "It... it wasn't just once," she admitted, her voice barely audible.
Jenna's guilt and fear were palpable, as if she were facing the full weight of your judgment. She felt exposed and vulnerable, like every word she said was being scrutinized under a harsh, unforgiving light.
The silence that followed her admission seemed to stretch on forever, each second amplifying her sense of dread and hopelessness.
You stared at her, struggling to process her confession. "Not just once? Not just once?" you repeated, your voice trembling with disbelief and hurt. "How many times, Jenna? Was it twice? Three times? More? Tell me how many times it happened."
Her body tensed further, and she struggled to meet your eyes. "Please," she whispered, "I can't... I can't—"
"Just tell me," you insisted, your voice breaking. "How many times did you do this?"
The weight of your demand seemed to crush her, and after a moment of agonizing hesitation, she finally choked out, "Twice."
You stared at her in stunned silence as the weight of her confession sank in. Your hands flew to your hair, gripping it tightly as you turned away, trying to steady yourself. The room seemed to spin around you, and you muttered, "Oh my God," under your breath.
Your voice cracked, and the sound of tears was evident, breaking through the quiet.
The anguish in your voice made Jenna's panic escalate. "Please, I'm so sorry," she pleaded, her voice trembling. "I never meant for any of this to happen. It was a mistake. I didn't know... I didn't know it would come to this."
She reached out, her hands shaking as she tried to touch you, her eyes full of desperation. "I'm so sorry," she repeated, her voice breaking. "Please, try to understand. I didn't want to hurt you."
"I was scared," she confesses, her voice trembling. "I didn't know how to face you, how to admit what I'd done. I thought maybe it would just go away, but then... the test."
"You betrayed me," you said, your voice raw with emotion. You rapidly turned back around, your eyes bloodshot and your face flushed. With a shaking finger, you pointed at her, each word laden with pain. "You lied to me, and now you're lying about what happened. How am I supposed to trust anything you say?"
Jenna's eyes filled with tears as she steps closer, her voice breaking with desperation. "I know I messed up. I know I hurt you, and I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could take it all back. Please, believe me, I didn't want this to happen."
"It was a mistake," she said quickly, rambling as tears streamed down her face. "I wasn't thinking clearly."
"Who was he?" you demanded, your anger boiling over. "What's his name?"
Jenna looked away, her tears flowed freely now. "I don't want to talk about him. It won't help anything."
"You don't get to decide that," you snapped, your voice trembling with rage. "You owe me the truth. Who is he, Jenna?"
She hesitated, then whispered, "His name is Ethan."
You feel a rush of emotions—anger, hurt, confusion. "What does he look like?"
"Y/n.." she tried, clearly not wanting to tell you. Engage in something that would hurt you even more.
"Does he look like me?" you pushed, your voice breaking. "Did you pick someone who looks like me because you wanted it to be easier to lie to yourself?"
Jenna sobs, her shoulders shaking. "No, it's not that."
"Then what was it?" you press, stepping closer, your voice filled with frustration and pain. "Was it out of boredom? Did I bore you? Was our sex life that boring?"
Jenna flinches, clearly intimidated by your intensity. "No, it wasn't like that. It was a mistake, a stupid mistake."
"Do you love him?"
"What? No, of course not. I love you."
"Did you know him?"
"No." She shook her head immediately.
You shook your head in disbelief. "So you just threw away our relationship for a stranger? We've been together for five years, Jenna. We're planning our wedding!"
You hold up your hand, showing the engagement ring. "Does this ring mean nothing to you?"
Jenna sobs, her shoulders shaking. "It means everything to me. You mean everything to me. I don't know why I did it."
"Did he give you something I couldn't?" you demand, your voice breaking.
Jenna shakes her head, her voice small and desperate. "No, it wasn't about that."
"What about him was so special?" you press. "Did he kiss you better? Was he prettier than me?"
"Please," she pleads, shaking her head. "It wasn't like that. It didn't mean anything."
"It meant enough for you to risk everything we have," you say, your voice breaking. "Was I not enough for you?"
"You're everything I've ever wanted." Jenna spoke carefully, afraid that you wouldn't believe her. Which you probably never would.
"Was he prettier?"
Jenna's lips trembled slightly as she shook her head, slowly. "Nothing could compare to you."
Her answer hangs in the air, neither a clear yes nor a no. It felt like she's dodging the question, unable to give you the honesty you desperately crave.
Her hesitation, the lack of a direct response. It's as if she tried to soften the blow, but all it did was deepen the wound.
The whole conversation angered you. Not because the love of your life had cheated on you with a man who'd gotten her pregnant, not because she had slept with him twice, but because she was now trying to act like she just wanted to be with you.
The betrayal cut deep, but it was her attempt to mask her actions with empty reassurances that fueled your rage. Your heart ached with a mixture of anger and profound hurt, struggling to comprehend how she could risk everything you had built together.
It wasn't just the infidelity; it was the deceit and the falsehoods, the way she looked at you with those trembling lips and teary eyes, expecting you to believe in a love that she had shattered.
"So, he was pretty then?" you ask, your voice dripping with sarcasm and pain.
Jenna sank her head down, ashamed, and the sight of her guilt only fueled your anger further. She didn't answer. Which was enough of one for you.
How could she stand there, asking for forgiveness, when the memory of her betrayal was still fresh in your mind? The rage bubbled up, threatening to consume you, as you stared at the woman who had once been your everything.
"I can't do this right now," you said, your voice tight with suppressed emotion. You turned abruptly, unable to stand the sight of her any longer. "I'm sleeping in the guest room tonight."
As you begin to walk away, Jenna's voice breaks through your haze of anger. But before you have any chance to interrupt her meaningless excuses, she reached out and grabbed your arm.
"Please, don't leave. We can talk this through. I don't want to lose you."
"Don't touch me," you say, pulling away sharply. "I have nothing else to say to you."
"But I love you. I can't lose you. We can go to therapy, we can work through this. Please, baby, don't walk away." she begged and pleaded, her voice desperate.
The irony stings sharply. There she was, pleading to "figure it out together," while every word only deepens your conviction that it's already too late.
The very notion of working through it seemed absurd, as if the foundation of trust you once built together could be so easily repaired. The betrayal was a chasm too wide to bridge, and her desperate pleas only serve as a painful reminder of the trust that's been irrevocably shattered.
The damage is done and the trust you once had is beyond repair, and the thought of trying to rebuild what's been broken feels not just unrealistic, but almost insulting.
You turn away, feeling the weight of finality settle in. "I need to be alone," you say quietly, your voice heavy with resignation.
As you walk towards the guest room, each step feels like a step away from the life you once knew. The door closes behind you with a quiet click, sealing away the echoes of a love that has irrevocably changed.
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cressidagrey · 6 months ago
Text
Lightning in the Bottle - Chapter 7
Summary: 
Eira Archeron was neither a Valkyrie, nor a Seer, nor the High Lady of the Night Court. She was actually pretty much useless. The only thing she wanted was to be somebody's first choice for once in her life.
Also known as: Azriel's shadows decide that if he doesn't treat his mate right... they'll just do it for him.
Warnings: 
shadows playing the lottery, lots of fluff, Nyx being unconsolable...
(super pretty dividers by @tsunami-of-tears)
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It was quiet in the house. He didn’t know where Mor or Amren had disappeared to, though he knew that if he asked, the shadows would already know. They were still furious with both of them. 
Madja was still with Eira…Nesta with her…
Which left Rhys and Feyre to supervise Elain in her room, packing. 
They were also supervised by shadows lurking in every corner of that room. Even when Azriel had told them off for that…They weren’t ready to leave well enough alone. Of course, they weren’t. They were so angry…so furious…complaining under their breath about how Elain had tried to take this future from them. 
So was Azriel. 
So angry that he didn’t trust himself…
So he was sitting on the floor next to Eira’s door, sharpening Truthteller. The calm and steadying movement was supposed to calm him. Repeating, again and again…
All they managed was to make him even more angry. 
Cassian kept him company, watching him silently, but Azriel ignored that. 
And then the door was opened and Nesta stood there, hands on her hips. “You should come inside,” she told him drily. “Don’t just lurk outside the doorway.”
“I have no right to be there,” he responded, his voice flat. 
Absolutely none. Not after…Not after how she had felt and he hadn’t realised it. Not after he had hurt her with his actions, even when he hadn’t wanted to. Not after…Not after what happened to her. 
He had no right to be in her rooms, to even look at her…no right whatsoever. 
“Don’t you?” Nesta challenged him sharply. “You’re her mate,” she pointed out, raising one eyebrow. 
Her mate. 
He couldn’t help but snort. “Brilliant mate I was, Nesta,” he told her sharply. “I deserve to never ever look at her again for what I put her through.” 
“So it’s alright for your shadows to take care of her, but yourself is where you draw that line?”
He blinked, outright staring at Nesta who was staring him down. Her eyes, the most similar to Eira’s out of all her sisters…were fixing him with a glare. 
“What?” He repeated. The shadows…they had been…
“Your shadows. They helped me change her into a nightgown. They knew where everything was in her room. They brushed and braided her hair,” Nesta clarified. “I thought you sent them.”
He hadn’t sent them. 
He hadn’t even thought of it. 
But clearly, they had once again…decided that they knew better. 
“Have they gone off on their own again?” Cassian asked with some amusement. It wasn’t the first time…wouldn’t be the last time either that they had decided to… fulfil Azriel’s direct orders and do something else as well… something that they thought would be much more useful. 
Most of the time he couldn’t find it in himself to be angry at them for it, because they had never been outright wrong. 
“They do that?” Nesta asked, surprised colouring her voice. 
“Sometimes,” he admitted, glaring darkly at one tendril of shadows that was darting into the room. 
What were you thinking? he demanded of them mentally. 
Well, if you weren’t going to shape up, we clearly needed to, the shadows answered flippantly. You’re welcome. We took care of our mate when you didn’t. 
That hit the intended spot. 
Azriel growled as he followed them into Eira’s room, as they darted inside. He could nearly feel their amusement and just one moment later, he realised that they had absolutely played his instincts. 
Insinuate that he didn’t take care of his mate and that they needed to do his work for him. The worst part was how right they were.
Nesta just snorted.
“Do I want to know what they just told you?” she asked drily as she went back to perching herself on a chair on Eira’s bedside, Madja still fluttering around. 
Eira. 
Laying in that bed, curled up beneath blankets and pillows…looking so delicate and breakable there with skin even peeler than usual, no colour in usual rosy lips…no blush on her cheeks. 
Lifeless and exhausted. 
Cassian followed behind him, even as he stopped in the middle of the room, freezing in place. 
“No,” he disagreed mulishly, glaring at the shadows once again as he watched them fuss over Eira. Pulling her blanket just a bit higher there…pulling her hair out of her face there…all of it things that he wished he would be the one doing. 
But he wasn’t. 
“They have been quite helpful for once,” Madja commented with some amusement. “I have never seen them fetch bandages for anybody but you,” she pointed out, before growing serious. “If she’s your mate, you should stay. You’ll make it easier for her to find her way back.” 
He could just silently nod at that. 
And so he sat down against the wall next to the door, where he could watch her, see the rise and fall of her chest…watch her suffer through the worst of the fever, even when Nesta gently wiped away the sweat beading at her brow, as Madja packed her bag. 
“I’ll be back in the morning,” Madja promised them, seeming less concerned. “She’s strong.”
She was. So fucking strong and none of them had seen it. 
“Do you actually have control over the shadows?” Nesta asked him suddenly. “Or is it just…” she trailed off. 
“It’s a battle of wills,” Azriel admitted quietly. Sometimes more than what he was ready to admit. “But if I had no control over them, they would have already driven me insane.”
It wasn’t a lie. 
There was a reason why most shadowsingers didn’t grow old. 
“I can silence them if the need arises. I can pull them back,” Azriel explained with a sigh. “If I didn’t…”He trailed off, leaving Nesta to make her own connections. 
“You told them to let off Elain, didn’t you?” Nesta said quietly. He just inclined his head. “If you hadn’t…Can they…kill?”
“They can and they have,” Cassian answered for him, gently reaching out to touch his mate’s shoulder, having crossed the room to stand behind her. “But they don’t do it without very good reasons, Nes. They would never…hurt you.”
“They wouldn’t,” Azriel agreed. 
“But they had one, didn’t they?” Nesta asked him with a sigh and he just nodded, staring at Eira. “How good?”
He swallowed. 
How good indeed…
“Very good,” Rhys said quietly as he entered the room. “They had a very good reason, Nesta. Elain had a vision of the future…of Azriel and Eira and she decided that it couldn’t come to pass,” he explained quietly. 
*This is between you and Eira and nobody else,* Rhys told him softly, privately and Azriel said nothing, but the gratitude nearly burst in his chest.
“Lucien took Elain back to Day with him,” Rhys continued. “I sent a letter with him, explaining the entire situation to Helion…we’ll see how that shakes out. Now…I’ll try to take her pain away again…and hopefully won’t end up in her memories, again.”
“Are you sure you can do that?” Cassian asked, but Rhys just inclined his head. 
“I think that’s the least of what I owe her,” Rhys answered quietly, as he sat down on a chair on Eira’s other side, closing his eyes and concentrating. 
Cassian watched it for a moment, then shrugged and went to her bookcase, to the armchair that stood there…picking up the dress that lay on it. 
“Be careful,” Nesta said, her voice sharp.
Cassian looked up surprised by her tone of voice but was indeed very careful when he picked up that dress…red and silver silk, sliding to the floor in his grasp.“Nes, what…”
Only then Azriel saw the silver flames decorating the fabric. 
It was beautiful. A work of art. Like somebody had taken Nesta and Cassian and made it into a dress fitting for a Queen. 
“She made it for me,” Nesta whispered. “Eira made me a wedding dress, Cassian. And she never gave it to me, because I told her that…I told her that all the dresses she made were ugly.”
Ugly. The dresses that Eira made weren’t ugly. They were beautiful. Always fitting the owner so well, decorated with embroidery, her stitching perfect and even…They were beautiful.
And Nesta had said that and Eira had taken it seriously because of course, she had. Because everything anybody had said to her, went straight to her heart. To that sweet and soft heart. 
“Nes…she knows you love her,” Cassian said, as he returned to his mate’s side in just a few steps. “You’ll apologise and she’ll forgive you.”
“And what if she doesn’t?” Nesta snapped. “She has no reason to forgive me. She has no reason to forgive any of us.” 
That was true. 
She had no reason to forgive any of them. 
But Eira…Eira had the softest heart he had ever come across. She would forgive Nesta. Of course, she would. With time, she would forgive the sister she loved so much. 
Azriel would spend the rest of his life making sure that her forgiving nature wouldn’t be taken advantage of. 
It was all he could do. 
“I told Rhys that Elain was the prettier one anyway so she didn’t need to come with us to Hewn City. She overheard. ” Cassian admitted with a grimace. “If she won’t forgive one of us, it will be me, sweetheart. At least you said that in one of your darkest moments. I am 500 years old and I was still stupid enough to say that,” Cassian seethed.  “ I am surprised she held out this long,” Cassian added quietly “I wouldn’t have. I probably would have told all of us to fuck off well before now.”
It was making him furious to hear all of this…hear what they had said to or about his mate. But this wasn’t about him. It wasn’t. It was about Eira. 
Even when the shadows seemed to be furious at Cassian’s words. 
A pretty face can’t hide a rotten character, they hissed aloud, loud enough for Cassian to hear, who flinched at the sound. 
“They are right,” Rhys said quietly, eyes opening carefully. “I got her,” he promised Azriel quietly, at his questioning gaze. “She’s just resting. She doesn’t feel any pain.”
It was something, he supposed.
It was only at that moment, that Azriel nearly flinched at the blood-curdling scream that came from Nyx’s room. 
So loud that even they could hear it a floor up. Crying. “Ra! Ra! Ra!”
“How much did he see, you think?” Cassian asked, Rhys just shook his head. 
“I don’t know,” he admitted, a grimace on his face. 
It was silent in the room as they listened to Feyre trying to soothe him, to shush him and to stop crying but the deep, tearful sobs still carried through the quiet house, and they even seemed to get louder. 
His head snapped up when he realised that Feyre was bringing her son up. 
“I can’t get him to stop,” Feyre whispered as she entered the room, her eyes tearful as she gazed at her sister, laying in that bed. “I…”
“It’s alright,” Rhys promised her quietly. “Just lay him next to her. She won’t wake up…and he needs this, I think.”
The Princeling always takes his afternoon naps like this when he is with her, the shadows whispered to Azriel, something that he had seen outside in the garden on more than one occasion during the summer months…Nyx stretched out on a blanket, with Eira laying next to him, softly singing or stitching…sometimes quietly tending to the tiny vegetable spot she had commandeered that Elain had let her have, that didn’t destroy the garden’s design…
As Feyre did as Rhys said, Nyx stared at Eira with tearful blue eyes and then latched onto her shoulder, throwing one pudgy little arm over her chest so that he could hold onto her…burying his face against the soft flesh of her arm. 
“Ra Ra,” Nyx sobbed softly, quietening down right then and there…It was so clear who was Nyx's favourite. 
Of course, she was. Eira had taken care of him so very often, whenever Rhys of Feyre with Court business, Eira had taken him…had sat with him and rocked him to sleep…
“She’ll be fine, my love,” Rhys said quietly to Feyre, who just nodded, wiping away tears. 
“Sing?” Nyx murmured at that moment, a yawn overtaking his face, already drifting off to sleep. “Sing, Ra Ra?”
“She sings to him?” Rhys said surprised. 
She does, the shadows agreed. Human nursery rhymes. The ones that were the High Lady’s favourites. 
Even Azriel hadn’t known that little tidbit…that she sang, yes. That they were Feyre’s favourites…no. 
“How are we supposed to explain this to Eira?” Feyre asked at that moment. “She’s…Elain is her twin sister. She’s going to be devastated, Nesta,” Feyre whispered. “How are we…”
“We’ll tell her the truth,” Nesta said, crossing her arms, one hand tightly wrapped around Cassian’s still. “We’ll tell her the truth…we owe her that much…and we’ll weather her anger. And if she wants to talk to Elain…”
“We’ll let her,” Rhys said quietly. “That’s not our decision to make.”
Azriel wanted to bristle at that, even when he knew that Rhys was right. 
Still, he wished to wrap Eira up in his wings and bring her far, far away…far away from Elain. 
He wanted to beg on his knees for her forgiveness and spend the rest of his life making it up to her, in whatever way she saw fit. He wanted all of that. 
Even when he didn’t deserve her. He still wanted that. 
And so they sat there in silence, watching Nyx and Eira sleep quietly on that bed…and the shadows swirl around the desk. 
Azriel watched as a pile of packages started to arrive, the shadows starting to open and unpack them quickly and efficiently. 
“What are they doing?” Nesta asked, staring at them. 
Azriel just raised an eyebrow in question as the shadows started putting away…stuff. 
Eira went shopping, Master, they said primly, loud enough for Nesta’s benefit. Like that answered all the questions he had. 
“She went shopping? Who’s paying for this?” he asked, because he was having a…feeling that that wasn’t the whole story. 
We did. The shadows admitted drily. 
“They have money?!” Feyre asked, sounding shocked. Cassian just snorted. 
“Didn’t you know? Azriel is loaded,” Cassian answered with a chuckle. “The shadows like playing the lottery.”
Nesta started laughing, the sound shocking in the quiet room. “Please tell me that is a joke,” she chortled but Azriel just sighed. 
“I got them to stop stacking the odds in their own favour, but getting them to stop completely wasn’t worth the hassle,” he admitted weakly. 
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lazycats-stuff · 9 months ago
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Batfamily x male reader
Batfamily x male!reader - this is part 1 everyone.
Summary: some talking is done.
Warnings: angst, fluff, (Y/N) is trying and so is the fam, cursing, trying to forgive, a punch was thrown, cutting people out
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The fight echoed through the manor. Even days after it, the tension was still palpable. (Y/N) truly wanted nothing more with his so called brothers and father. If they tried to talk to him, they would be ignored or (Y/N) would just snap at them.
Almost biting their head off.
Safe to say, things were going to complete and utter shit.
Bruce didn't even know how to start talking to (Y/N). Was he emotionally reserved? Yes. But will he try everything in his power to make it right?
Yes. Everything he can do, he will do.
Bruce has decided to call a meeting. He made (Y/N) leave his room and (Y/N) has never looked worse. He couldn't sleep for days on end, only getting about 4 hours per night. He wasn't in the mood to eat either. He was only alive because Alfred had to make sure he was still alive.
Everyone noted that he looked like he didn't want to live anymore. More so, he looked dead. (Y/N) just sat down, an angry look on his face, arms crossed and body language closed off. He sat down as far as away as he could from them, clearly not happy to be here in the slightest.
He tucked himself in the chair, ignoring everyone and everything.
" (Y/N)... " Bruce started quietly, clearly not wanting to have a blow out and an explosion. " We have to talk through this problem. " Bruce continued just as softly and (Y/N) scoffed.
" We know we have been... Neglecting you, to say the least. But... We want to fix our mistakes. We want to be better. " Bruce said and (Y/N) chose to roll his eyes instead of listening. No matter what they could say could ever fix this.
" Well... 10 years too late. " (Y/N) said sarcastically, tapping his fingers against his tucked up knee, clearly anxious to leave this room behind. He really was anxious too leave.
" And we realize that. " Tim started softly, looking at (Y/N) with a sad look on his face. (Y/N) wouldn't allow them to see them sweat.
" Bullshit. " (Y/N) said quickly. They don't realize shit. " You are only doing this because Jon came over and pointed it out and now you are worried that the word doesn't spread. " (Y/N) spat out, leaning on his tucked up knee, glaring that the floor.
" That is not true. " Damian said and (Y/N) looked up, glaring at Damian, scoffing at the words, then laughing bitterly.
" Oh please. You never told Jon about me! I'm assuming all of your friends don't know I exist, right? " (Y/N) said as he rubbed his eyes from the exhaustion.
The silence was the only answer that (Y/N) needed.
" Yup and there it is. No one knows I fucking exist! " (Y/N) said loudly, blood pressure raising. He took a deep breath to calm down. " Just as I thought. No one knows I exist. No one even cared about my school achievements either... Let me ask you something Bruce. " (Y/N) asked, turning his attention to Bruce.
" Do you have a college fund for me? Just like you do for other four? " (Y/N) asked, itching for an answer. When Bruce looked away in shame and (Y/N) scoffed yet again.
" Also, don't you fucking dare setting it up. I have got a scholarship anyway. " (Y/N) answered the unasked questions. Bruce was proud of (Y/N). How could he have done this to (Y/N), forget to put a college fund...
" I'm sorry (Y/N). I didn't mean to forget you. " Bruce said, keeping his distance, but wanting nothing more than just hug him and kiss the anger away.
But alas, that's not how it works. (Y/N) has to forgive him first.
" Can you tell us more about the scholarship? " Jason chimed in, wanting to speak about something that (Y/N) could be happy about.
" It's for MIT. " (Y/N) said quietly and everyone was in shock. They didn't know that (Y/N) was into science and mathematics and what not.
Another mistake of theirs.
" That's amazing (Y/N). " Tim praised, smiling at (Y/N). Getting into MIT is hard as hell.
(Y/N) rolled his eyes, but deep down inside, he craved that praise more than life. But some praise won't erase everything that happened.
" You would really have to move then... " Dick said sadly and (Y/N) glanced at all of them. They all seem sad that he would have to move all the way to Massachusetts, but it would be necessary. (Y/N) needed to get out of here. One way or another.
" I think what we all mean to say is that we are sorry. There is no excuse, not a single thing that could justify what we did and what we have caused to you. " Damian said and (Y/N) was shocked to hear the word sorry just tumble out of his mouth like that, so effortlessly. So easily. But he composed himself quickly.
" How do I put his nicely? " (Y/N) said, looking sarcastic. " I don't give a damn about any of you. I don't give a damn about apologies at all. I don't care about any of you. The moment I move out, all of you are going to be dead to me. Period. " (Y/N) said as he quickly stood up, going to his room.
He isn't going to fucking listen anymore.
" No, (Y/N) wait! " Everyone called after him and tried to stop him. Jason managed to grab his arm, but (Y/N) threw a punch and knocked Jason down on his ass, making the others rear back. It was a truly what the fuck moment for all of them.
(Y/N) was never violent.
(Y/N) slammed the doors of his room shut and everyone was silent. Jason was breathing heavily through his mouth as (Y/N) broke his nose.
" He has a hell of a punch. " Jason muttered as he stood up.
" We have a shit ton of gravelling to do. " Tim muttered and everyone nodded in agreement. Saying that they are dead to him, well, will be dead to him, that was sort of a nail in a coffin. Coffin about their relationship...
That was probably on the brink of death, if not dead already.
" Come on, he needs some time alone. " Bruce said and ushered everyone out of the hall, mostly Jason to take a look at his nose, to treat it and heal it.
That same night, (Y/N) quietly managed to get his things into a car, while others were on patrol and blocked them in the process. Then he started driving to MIT, because he didn't have the nerve to put his things onto a plane and go. And besides, he didn't have enough things anyway.
(Y/N) could finally start his new life.
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onyourmarkks · 7 months ago
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silent treatment (mingyu)
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cw: free use? kind of. nsfw 18+ mdni, possessiveness, i think that’s all
i actually got this idea from a s.coups ff and i can’t remember who it’s from for the life of me 😞 but inspo by them ofc!!
enjoy!!
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the door pad beeped, signaling someone was coming in, it was mingyu. He came home from work and as usual you greet him at the door with a kiss, “hi” you say and kiss him, but he doesn’t kiss you back, he just makes a sound, you take that as your hint and back off.
last night you guys argued about mingyu being jealous of your male friend, he said he didn’t like how he was so close to you, and did things your boyfriend should be doing, you thought your friends actions were okay and appropriate, so you fought mingyu back on it, which lead to where you guys were now.
mingyu sat at the table and ate quietly, he looked angry, and pissed off, but for some reason him looking like this was a huge turn on. “gyu, how was work?” you say trying to make small talk with him, hoping he responds, “fine” he replies coldly, finishing his plate and dropping it in the sink and heading upstairs.
you stood there dumbfounded as to why he was acting like this, once you were done eating you headed upstairs to start your night routine, mingyu sat in his gaming chair in the room gaming with his friends, he was talking and laughing, you hopped in the shower and once you were done you slipped on some tiny pajama pants and a white tank top.
once you exited the bathroom mingyu was in bed on his phone, you climbed into bed and sat on your heels next to him, “min…” you mumbled softly as you ran a finger to his muscular bicep, he didn’t even react, “what?” he responded, clearly not interested but you didn’t back down.
“can we do it mingyu? i’ve been thinking about your cock all day” you mumble against the soft flesh of his neck, mingyu may have not liked your actions yesterday but he was never going to deny his girl sex, but he was gonna have to make you work for it.
“take it, i don’t care” he responds nonchalantly, you wanted him so bad you didn’t care how you got him, you pulled down his sweat pants, revealing his semi hard cock, you laid some spit on it and played with the tip to get him fully hard, it was taking everything in mingyu to not react.
you were annoyed that he didn’t want to fuck you and you had to do all the work, mingyu watched you as you climbed ontop and slid back and forth on his cock, not putting it inside, you were desperately grinding until enough became enough and you slipped his tip inside, you were going crazy all the while mingyu was sitting there on his phone, as you pathetically tried to fuck your self on his cock.
after 2 minutes you were tired, you didn’t see your release anywhere near, “mingyu” you babble out, your red flushed face, agitated lips begging for his attention, mingyu sighed and flipped the positions now he was on top, your legs spread widely awaiting anything he was going to give you.
“only because you look fucking pathetic” mingyu spits as he slowly thrusts into you, “min..” you whine out as he slides a finger down to tease your clit, “you’re so desperate aren’t you?” he asks and you can’t do anything but hum, you were so lost in his thrusts and how good he was making you feel, that was until he landed a light slap against your cheek “answer, or i’m gonna stop” he demanded, slowing down his pace threateningly.
“yes.. yes.. i’m desperate..” you respond with flushed cheeks in embarrassment, “should i let you cum?” he taunts, licking your neck, making you moan, “yes.. mingyu i wanna cum” you respond back desperately as you were being shaken back and forth from his relentless thrusting.
“i’ll let you cum, if you cut that guy off, got it?” he tells you, you didn’t care what you had to do, you just wanted to be selfish and focus on coming, you nodded your head frantically “yes! yes! i’ll cut him off” you threw your head back waiting for his command to let you cum, you were holding onto it. “promise?” mingyu says slowing down nearly making you lose your orgasm,
“i promise mingyu” you say leaning up to look at him, and capture his lips as he smiles while kissing you, he continues to thrust until he feels your walls clench and unclench around him, then they flutter as he shoots his hot cum inside of you.
mingyu pulls out with ease, “call him and tell him you guys can’t be friends anymore” mingyu says in a strict tone, you did promise him, you picked your phone up and rung your friend, he answered sweetly on the other line, “hello? y/n? what’s up? why are you calling so late?” he answered, “just calling to let you know we won’t be friends anymore” i say and cut the phone off before he can respond, mingyu captures my lips in a kiss, “good girl, see how easy things can be if you just listen to me? hm?” he rubs your back and kisses your forehead.
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well 🙂‍↔️ what do u think …
i haven’t updated in so long life got so crazy and it’s just been HORRIBLE, but since it’s summer i have time to write loll
pls send me requests on like anything i will literally write about it,
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jimvasta · 2 years ago
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Humans aren’t poisonous
It was another canteen argument at the spaceport. This time it was about the new species, the humans.
“I hear they are poisonous. That is why they do not come near and why they cover their skin, so they do not harm others.”
“I heard the clothes are about clan allegiances and you know who they follow from their colours.”
“I thought it was which Gods they follow.”
“No, it is poison.”
The argument had various creatures involved, they were from a crew whose Captain prided themselves on picking as many species as possible to work for them, and who was already attempting to entice a human onboard.
There were so many conflicting stories about the humans. They looked harmless, unarmoured, no claws to speak of, they were not even especially big although further rumour was that they were incredibly strong for their size. But, when the Dran attacked them no one could have predicted how easily the humans sent the dangerous imperialists fleeing back to their home world. How did they do it? No one quite knew.
“They are poisonous. How else did they kill everyone on the Helin outpost without any weapons? With only on scout ship.”
There was a snort from the hooded figure at the bar. “Humans aren't poisonous, trust me, I should know.”
“I learned that from the team who investigated the outpost. I know.”
The hood was lowered to reveal a human with short brown hair and a frighteningly toothy smile. “My knowledge is a little more first hand than yours. We aren't poisonous.” He reached in and patted the speaker's lower mandible, laughing as it recoiled from his touch. “You'll be fine.”
“If you are not poisonous, how did you do it? They were clearly poisoned by something horrific, a biological agent that the investigators swore was somehow alive.”
The human licked his lips. “I said we aren't poisonous, I wasn't lying.”
“So you're defenceless.” The insectoid being stood. It was angry at being touched by a soft fleshy creature, it felt dirty.
“Nope. I'm human, I'm never defenceless.”
“It would be so easy to defeat you in combat.” It loomed over the human. “Why is it you do not cower? How do you kill your enemies?”
“You wanna become my enemy and find out?”
“Johnson!” The sharp snap from the across the room made everyone freeze.
The human sighed, his eyes dropping. “Sir.”
“Back off, right now.” This barked order came from a Subeco warrior in the uniform of a merchant vessel.
Johnson grumbled. “Seriously?”
“I don't want another incident, stop baiting people.”
“He called me defenceless.”
“And that is not a capital offence. I have found a trader who has a pallet of what he claims is a human drink called Rum, I need you to help me check it.”
“Rum? It better be dark rum, I don't want any of that Bacardi shit.” Johnson forgot the insectoid to the lure of alcohol, striding to the door.
“Subeco.” the insectoid was not so quickly put off. It respected the Subeco, they were fine warriors, proven in eons of battle across the galaxy. “What do you know of humans? How are they so dangerous?”
The Subeco's head wobbled from side to side as they considered their answer. “They are extremely vindictive with tools and masters of improvised weapons, but mostly they kill their enemies slowly.”
“So they are poisonous.”
“No not poisonous, but they are venomous.”
The entire room's attention was fixed on the Subeco in a moment.
There was a sneer from the warrior who knew one of their best guards was a human with a short temper. It was useful to make sure people were scared of him. “Their fluids are all toxic to some extent, but their saliva is laced with micro-organisms, viruses and bacteria. Death by human is slow and excruciating.”
“I'll be sure to never let one bite me.” the insectoid was not impressed.
“Bite?” the Sebeco laughed, copying the noise used by humans that was so off putting. “If Johnson wanted you dead he would have stayed at the bar and spat into one of your eyes. My survival tip for dealing with humans is be more useful alive than dead or stay out of range.”
“What is their range?”
The Subeco looked at Johnson before turning back to the insectoid. “If you have to ask that question, you're too close. Enjoy your drinks, gentle-beings.”
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swanimagines · 3 months ago
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Hola can i request a Morpheus x f!Reader fic where her son is running over all the palace because he doesn’t want to take a bath?
Sorry English is not my first language
A/N: Ahem ahem, excuse me... this may be the first time in a very long time I'm actually genuinely HAPPY with something I wrote?? If there's a writing deity or a saint, I will pray to them and hope for this kind of skill and motivation and inspiration and whatever hell I need to produce THIS kind of content in the future too, thanks bye!
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"Aridus!" your voice echoed through the grand corridors as you chased after your son, who had decided today was not the day for a bath. He turned around slightly, his face scrunched up in anger.
“I don’t want to take a bath!” he declared for the hundredth time, before taking a turn to yet another maze of hallways. You let out a frustrated groan, even though you tried to keep it in.
“I know, sweetie, but after all that playing with Goldie, you’re all muddy, I can’t let you go to bed like that!” You stopped, as you took the turn to where he went. “Aridus, please just—”
“No! I don’t want to sleep either!” His voice echoed through the hallway, it was impossible to know which nook he took as a hiding place. “Daddy never sleeps either!”
It was true, the everlasting bickering with him. Why is daddy able to go around day and night, why can’t he stay up to play all night as well. But the thing was, Aridus was your offspring too, and you were originally from the Waking world — and you needed sleep, so Aridus needed sleep too. Your husband had told you that Aridus may need less sleep than a “regular” human as he grows up, but as a toddler he was just like regular children were. Getting tantrums out of being tired, while the tantrum is about not wanting to go to sleep. “I know sweetie, but he’s–”
“No!” he screamed, and you heard the patter of feet going further again.
You barely heard Morpheus coming to stand beside you, but you felt his presence and turned to look at him. “I can’t catch him. He’s persistent and knows how to tire me out.”
Morpheus's lips had a small hint of a smile. “He is much like you, then.”
You scoffed and crossed your arms. “Me? Are you sure? You’re the one who’s refusing to listen to any other opinions of change when you’ve already decided the ‘best’ way. I think he’s more like you than me.”
Morpheus smiled properly now, inclining his head forward. “True.”
A loud crash interrupted the sound of running, and you heard something rolling through the floor, followed by a soft thud and a whimper from Aridus. You walked forward with Morpheus following close behind, and discovered the source. Aridus had collided with one of the pedestals, which had sent a stack of dream scrolls all over the room. You moved to stand in front of him and brought your hands to your hips, sighing.
Suddenly your son, who had been so angry just a moment earlier, looked more remorseful as ever. “I… I didn’t mean to.”
Before you could answer, you felt Morpheus’s hand on your shoulder. “Allow me, my love.”
Aridus sat there frozen in place, looking at his father kneeling in front of him. Morpheus reached out, carefully tucking a curl of hair behind Aridus’s ear. “Do you know why we need to take baths, Aridus?”
Aridus’s shoulders slumped. “I know, father. Mother doesn’t want my bed to get dirty. But I don’t like to get wet.”
Morpheus shook his head. “It is not only because we get dirty. Every day, all living beings get dream dust on them. If there’s too much of it, it weighs us down. It affects our mood and eventually… it may make us fall asleep and never again wake up. Be stuck in nightmares forever, and not even I would be able to help.”
Aridus stared at his father, his mouth opening slightly before he whispered, “Stuck?”
Morpheus nodded. “Yes. Even the stars must cleanse themselves of the night sometimes.”
For a moment, Aridus stared at the floor, clearly trying to contemplate his options. But eventually, he looked up again and nodded. “Okay.”
You smiled slightly, ushering him towards the bathroom before you looked back at your husband, who was left cleaning the mess up.
Later, when you watched your son sleeping in his little bed from the doorway, you felt a slight gust of air as Morpheus appeared to your side again. You smiled at him and whispered, “You’re good at making up stories. I think he’ll be much more willing to take baths in the future.”
He shook his head, his eyes fixed on your son. “I merely spoke the truth.”
You frowned. “Really?”
He turned towards you slightly. “Yes. Well, maybe I dramatised it a little, but much of it was true. Even stars need to be born anew sometimes. They too resist, hang on, but ultimately they yield and give way to new stars. Just like our son did.”
You nodded and let yourself lean against him slightly. "I’ll admit, I was starting to lose hope there for a moment. I didn’t think anything could convince him to take a bath, let alone willingly. He certainly takes after both of us. I thought I'd never tire him out, but you…” you murmured and looked at him. “You have a way with him. Maybe I should let you handle all the tantrums from now on."
Morpheus pushed you away slightly, tracing his fingers against your bare arm. "I would handle them all, if you so wished," he whispered. "But I believe Aridus needs you as much as he needs me. You are his anchor to both worlds. Without you, he might wander too far in the night."
You smiled a little at that. Morpheus certainly knew his way through words, it was in his nature, in how he was created, sure, but you felt like he had learned a thing or two from love since he fell in love with you all those centuries ago.
You sighed, looking at your sleeping son. “He seems to like wandering. He has told me so many times he wants to be just like you, and I don’t know how to tell him that it isn’t possible.”
Morpheus was quiet for a moment, running his hand up and down your arm. “He must learn to walk in both worlds because when the time comes… Waking world may call out to him. In any case, balance is essential. And he must learn to control and thrive, whatever his place will end up being.”
You swallowed, remembering that once your son grows up, he may only be able to visit you at night. You’d watch him grow old year by year, and only get him back once he dies. Which will take centuries, if not even millennials with his Endless blood. And even then, he may choose the Land of the Dead if he has loved ones there. But Morpheus made it sound… like it was natural. Which it of course was, you reminded yourself. “You make it sound so simple. That it will be simple to accept it.”
"Simple, no. But necessary, yes." His hand stilled on your arm. "And you, my love, have always excelled at guiding him in ways I cannot."
You were quiet for a moment again. “I just don’t want him to grow up so fast.”
He was quiet for a moment too, taking in a deep breath. “I wish he did not grow so fast either. But moments like these, they will linger. Forever, if necessary. We need not fear losing him.”
You nodded, finally closing the door and following Morpheus towards the throne room. “I guess I should just remember he’s going to be a half-deity like you. And that hopefully he’s going to make the world a better place.”
Morpheus turned to look at you, taking your hands in his. “He will have both of us with him when he enters the Waking world, and be more than us. He will be a dream, but also a heartbeat. And that, my love, is his gift.”
You swallowed, but then closed your eyes and dropped your face towards the floor. “I know. As long as he has both of us in him, he’ll be alright.”
Morpheus cupped your cheek, tilting your head to look at him again. “He will thrive. He will flourish in ways we cannot yet even imagine.”
You nodded, glancing back towards Aridus’s room and then you turned back to Morpheus. “I love you.”
His smile appeared again, an expression only reserved for you before he kissed your forehead. “And I, you. Always.”
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personasintro · 1 year ago
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Mutual Help | #40
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 17k+
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⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 
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Jungkook wakes up to an empty bed. Yesterday's events hunted him in his dreams as he kept dreaming about it, causing him to wake up with a sour mood. He takes his time to get ready for the day, not really sure how everyone is feeling after yesterday's drama. To be honest, that's not what is truly bugging him. It's you.
He doesn't see you downstairs when he joins the others for breakfast. He makes sure to look around the table but he doesn't see you anywhere. Maybe you're in the kitchen or will come downstairs in a bit. But by the time Jungkook finishes the last bite of his sandwich, you haven't come and that's when he realizes you are not coming any time soon.
Everyone seems to be fine, there's no awkwardness lingering in the air as everyone chats as nothing happened. The only person he finds quiet is Kiko who is sitting next to him, barely eating her bowl of fruit as she keeps nudging it with a fork. They haven't talked since yesterday and since he woke up to an already empty bed, they haven't had the chance to.
But what's there to talk about? Jungkook said everything he wanted and can see yesterday's events aren't indifferent to her as well. He believes her when she said it was a mistake and it probably slipped, but he can't help but feel pissed at that. How can he not when all he can think about is your tears running down your cheeks? He has never seen you in such a state when you were hurt, angry and ready to physically attack his girlfriend.
It bothers him that Kiko didn't even consider that your asshole boyfriend doesn't know about the whole fake dating thing. Oh fuck, and what he said to you yesterday... he thought he'd punch him even more. How dare he assume you slept with Jimin and Taehyung too? He gets it, you and him are close and any boyfriend wouldn't be pleased knowing his girlfriend and her best friend slept together. A lot of times, actually. It's a lot to take and swallow, he gets that.
Your friendship is often misunderstood by others, it's what you and him got used to after such a long time of being so close and friends. But him assuming such a thing and most importantly talking to you like that, is completely out of place and it makes his blood boil. Every time he thinks about it, he regrets not punching him until his nose would break. He disrespected you. In front of everyone which made you embarrassed for sure and even more hurt. But Jungkook is glad he has done it in front of everyone.
If Haneul talked to you in private, who knows if you'd ever tell him he treated you like this. This way Jungkook got to punch him and show him you're not someone to get messed with.
As Jungkook sips on his coffee and lets his eyes travel around the room, always looking around in case he sees you. As he stays leaning against the wall, he makes it quite obvious that he's clearly searching for you and it's something Jimin notices as soon as he comes out of the dining room with Taehyung by his side.
"She's not coming," Jimin says, answering Jungkook's silent question that has never been spoken but it's very clear in his eyes and to his friends.
Jungkook looks at Jimin, eyes glinting with sadness as Jimin has a very similar look on his face meanwhile Taehyung's lips are crooked in displeased pout.
"Why?" Is simple and Jungkook's question, even though he probably knows why. But he still hoped he'd get to see you today and of course, he's worried about you.
"I think we all know why," Jimin answers softly, brows curving in sadness. "We wanted her to at least come downstairs but she refused. She wants to be left alone."
"I feel so sorry for her," Taehyung admits, pouting. "Even today is supposed to be fun for her. Imagine celebrating New Year's Eve with a heartbreak."
Taehyung is definitely not making it better, making Jungkook feel even worse because he can barely imagine what you're going through. Even though the idiot isn't worth it and you barely know him for a month. But he's in no way questioning you being sad, it's understandable you're sad and hurt.
Jungkook frowns, glancing at his cup of coffee in a thought. "I should check on her."
"Yeah, about that..." Jimin scratches his neck sheepishly. "She said she wants to be left alone."
"Yeah, you said that," Jungkook frowns again, "But I want to check on her. I'll be beside her for a whole day if it helps."
"I don't think that's a good idea, Jungkook. I know you guys are best friends but she said she doesn't want anyone to bother her."
He still keeps frowning, determined to check on you no matter what Jimin is saying. He's not just anyone, is he? 
"But I'm not just--"
"Jesus, Kook. She specifically told us to tell you she wants to be alone." Taehyung lets out, raising his voice a little.
Jungkook's mouth hangs open in disbelief as Jimin sighs and glares at Taehyung who just shrugs. "What? You're awful at being straightforward." Taehyung mumbles, glancing pitifully at Jungkook.
"She said that?" Jungkook whispers, placing his cup of coffee on a nearby console table beside him. "Why?"
He really tries to sound unbothered, but it's clear how quickly saddened he grows at what Taehyung just revealed.
"Listen, I don't think it's something personal. She told Taehyung to fuck off once he tried to get her out of bed and then almost suffocated her by cuddling her."
Jungkook would've laughed at that, because it definitely sounds like you being moody, but he can't because all he thinks about is you saying you want to be left alone while mentioning Jungkook. Somehow, he'd have thought it doesn't apply to him. According to Taehyung, it definitely applies to him the most. As if you knew you're going to be on his mind and him wanting to check on you.
"Yeah, she gets very vocal when she's annoyed," Taehyung tries to lighten up the mood with a light chuckle. "Look, she's gonna be fine. She knows we're here for her whenever she needs us. But she needs space right now. We've been with her the whole night and would stay there if she didn't kick us, literally."
Jimin nods, looking at Taehyung. "This is so far the smartest thing you've said on this trip."
"Yo, fuck you." Taehyung shoots right back, frowning at Jimin.
"Fuck you, you're the one spitting bullshit all the time." Jimin says back, earning a dramatic gasp from Taehyung but before they can bicker, Jungkook opens his mouth ignoring the two.
"Alright," Jungkook sighs, straightening himself. "If she doesn't want to see me, I'm not gonna force myself where I'm not welcomed."
He grabs the cup of coffee, spilling the remaining liquid in the sink as soon as he comes to the kitchen. He spends a few minutes there, cleaning the cup before he joins the others in the living room where Hoseok calls for him to join them in a video game. So he does, maybe this way he'll keep being distracted from disobeying your wishes and from pounding on your door to check on you.
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No messages. No calls.
It's not like you expected him to reach out to you first, especially not after the way he was acting yesterday and earned a painful punch from Jungkook. Still, you at least had a hope he'd let you know if he made it safely to Seoul since he said he's not breaking up with you.
Do you even want to be with him? The thing he said yesterday was the last drop that you barely were able to hold and you felt like you're being the one punched in the face. You had so much hope in your relationship and now you're completely clueless what will happen from now on. If only he kept his mouth shut, maybe you'll feel even more guilty and wouldn't feel so much anger at his disrespect aimed towards you. Not only did he make you embarrassed, he verbally slapped you in your face when he assumed you slept with Jimin and Taehyung. That was so low and immature of him. Maybe it hurts this much because you've never thought he'd be capable of saying such a thing.
So as the sun keeps peeking through the window, you stay in bed while trying to keep yourself busy while watching random YouTube videos on your phone. The last thing you think about is getting out of this room. Not yet. You still have a couple of hours before you've to get ready. Ready to dress up for New Year's Eve, one of the main reasons why you came here. But also to get ready to face everyone because you just know they'll stare pitifully at you.
You don't want to give them reason to, though. You don't need their pity. Someone else will need it.
It's twenty-eight minutes to three when your phone chimes with a new message and your breath gets stuck in your throat, wondering who's texting you. Jimin and Taehyung must've told him you want to be alone, considering he hasn't been knocking on your door today. But apparently he can't hold himself back any longer.
You see the message on your locked screen, staring right back at you.
Kook: tell me if you're okay
Your heart cracks at his thoughtfulness, wondering if he's going to hate you for no longer wanting to play decently with his girlfriend. But this is not about him, not even when you can hurt him in the process. This is between you and her. However, you know Jungkook and you know he'll take it personally.
You don't reply to him, letting your thoughts distract you until your phone chimes in with another message.
Kook: at least text me back or I'm coming upstairs
Kook: I've no problem with kicking the door down 
Of course he has no problem with that. And for the first time today, you find yourself breathing out a very light chuckle.
"I'm not sure if jin would appreciate that" You text him back, not having to wait long for a reply.
Kook: good thing I don't care what Jin thinks 
Kook: I care about you right now 
Your eyes water, not really sure if it's because you're emotional about his straightforward words or the fact you're still pretty much sensitive. You cuddle up to your duvet, wiping your tears.
"I'm okay just want some time alone"
He doesn't text back, giving you the space you're asking for.
Good. You still have a few hours to brace yourself, you think as you stare in the distance at the closet.
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Jungkook stares at his reflection in the mirror, adjusting his black suit which is decorated with tiny silver stripes on it. It's not too eye-catching but not boring. His other option is just to wear a turtleneck minus the suit, but he figured he'll get hot either way considering he's about to drink and stay indoors. So he chose a casual black button-up, leaving a few buttons unbuttoned just for the right measure. He hasn't done anything special to his hair, just left it parted in the middle as the ends stay somehow curled from the shower he took after his work-out and before he was about to get ready for tonight.
The room he shares with his girlfriend is quiet other than the R&B music playing quietly from the speaker he brought with himself. He thought it's a nice way to fill the awkward silence in the room while they both get ready for tonight.
Kiko hasn't been talking to him that much, he probably thinks it has something to do with him snapping at her yesterday night when he joined her to the bed. He does feel slightly guilty from doing it, but doesn't put too much effort in saying anything. He's not sure what to say.
"Jungkook?"
His arms fall down off his suit, eyes searching for Kiko in the reflection as he finds her already looking at him. Her make-up is done, it's light as usual but her features are more defined and eyes bigger thanks to the eyeliner decorating her eyelids. She looks beautiful and even though her features remain soft, she looks a little tense while looking at him.
She's wearing a light blue sleeveless dress, turtleneck dress to be exact which adds more modesty to her cleavage. The skirt of the dress is flared and flowy, creating a beautiful but cute look at the same time. It's not too revealing, but mesmerizing enough to make you look at it and compliment it and her. Just by the one look Jungkook can tell this is her style, but still is quite surprised to see how beautiful she looks in it. Maybe surprised is not the right word for it, he definitely knows she's beautiful, with or without her make-up and dress.
He turns around, eyes cutely looking at her in question as she turns around to him with exposed back. "Can you please help with the zip?" she asks, gently pulling her curled hair over her shoulder as he nods, clearing his throat when he realizes she can't see him now.
"Yeah," he lets out lightly, taking a few steps towards her until he reaches for the zip. In one swift movement, he zips up her dress and she turns around, thanking him gracefully.
Her brown eyes search his face for a moment, hand hesitantly reaching for his button-up as she straightens up the little crease.
"You look beautiful." he mumbles softly, speaking out his thoughts as he watches her with softness in his eyes.
"Thank you," she smiles, "You look great too."
He chuckles, shaking his head at her compliment, somehow growing sheepish when she compliments him. She lets her hand stay on his chest for a while, before she drops it and stares at her feet.
"I know I said it already... but I'm sorry. I really am. I wish I could do something to fix this." she says, forcing herself to stare him in the eyes when she says it.
Sadness and honesty. Those two emotions are very easy to detect for Jungkook. He knows it was just a matter of time before she brings this topic up again. And he doesn't mind it because he definitely doesn't want to spend this trip, or ever, not voicing out the elephant in the room. They should talk about it, he knows. But just knowing you're on the other side of this hallway, god knows doing what because you haven't even stepped out of that fucking room today, it makes him crazy.
He's worried and you clearly don't want anyone there. He's still hesitating if he should listen to you and stay away, or just ignore you and knock on those doors until you open. Or knock them down. If it means he's selfish, then so be it. If he sees you're okay with his own eyes, he doesn't care what that makes him.
Unfortunately, Kiko is not the only person who wishes there could be a way to fix this. Because there isn't. Haneul is gone, most likely back in Seoul and getting drunk with his young and immature friends, crying that he got his heart broken and god knows what he's saying about you behind your back.
It makes Jungkook clench his jaw, wanting nothing else than to shake these thoughts away because he's just making himself even more angry. He still tries not to think about Haneul's awful words of accusation. You don't deserve that. You're not a bad person.
"You can't," Jungkook simply says, not wanting to think about his thoughts all over again. "But I appreciate that you're acknowledging your mistake." he tells her honestly, seeing her nod as she swallows dryly.
"I knew I made a mistake the moment I said it and looked at his face. I'm so sorry, I knew I shouldn't have assumed. And Y/N deserves my apology, I'd do anything to let her know how sorry I am."
She sounds desperate, sad and broken, truly disappointed with herself and it breaks Jungkook even more. He has realized a long time ago it's her fault, she shouldn't have said it. Period. But seeing you and her being so sad just settles an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. He doesn't like any of you being sad and this whole situation is bizarre enough as it is.
"Yeah, just don't talk to her if she decides to join us," Jungkook mutters, tongue pressing against his front teeth. "I know you want to apologize to her, I just think it's better to leave her alone for now."
"Thank you," she speaks up, causing Jungkook to look down at her with furrowed brows in confusion. "For you know... being there for her. If you weren't there, she'd probably... I got scared there for a second, I really thought she's about to attack me."
"Because she was," Jungkook deadpans, "I haven't seen her so angry before, but she's not a violent person,"
He knows it must sound stupid, considering you were literally fuming and about to fight his girlfriend. And you definitely have more strength in you than he expected. You were trashing in his arms so much, thankfully he just had to hold you tighter to keep you from attacking Kiko. But he hasn't done it just because of her. But he knows you'd regret it later. Like he said, you're not a violent person but then, you never really had any reason to be. He knows even if you say something that seems cold and heartless, you always mean well and most of the time you regret it after some time.
"She's hurt. You had no right to assume anything about their relationship, and you definitely had no right to say anything that involved our deal. I told you because I could trust you. It was Y/N's decision to make if she wanted to tell him or not. She respected me and didn't tell you, she even supported it when I asked her if I should tell you,"
Kiko seems a little surprised, nodding nevertheless to his words in agreement.
"I know you know that, I know you regret it. But it doesn't make it okay,"
She nods, agreeing with him in a heartbeat.
"I'm just like this because... things were getting so good and yesterday ruined everything. But most importantly, Y/N is hurting right now and there's nothing we can do to help. She probably hates your guts right now." he points out.
"I hate myself too." Kiko says, shrugging as she tries to chuckle to easen the mood but he notices the way her lips curl into a saddened smile.
"Hey," Jungkook says softly, placing his hands on her shoulders as he makes her look at him. "I don't want to hear this. You don't have to hate yourself. You made a mistake, yes. And things are too fresh to let everything be okay. But I really appreciate you acknowledging you made a mistake. And I think Y/N would appreciate it too if she wasn't so hurt and angry. You've to understand there are a lot of emotions she's dealing with right now."
"We all know why she truly hates me, Kookie," Kiko offers softly, "And what happened yesterday just added fuel into the fire."
"But she was okay until yesterday happened," Jungkook protests. He obviously knows you haven't been fond of Kiko ever since the news of her cheating came out, actually ever since she broke up with him for no reason. But after the two of you talked, he could see you trying and it made him feel so much at ease.
But yesterday changed everything and now it's even worse, because it directly involves you right now.
"What's done is done. Don't beat yourself for it too much. You made a mistake, but you don't have to hate yourself now, Kik." he tells her, thumb rubbing her cheek as she smiles gratefully at him but he can see there's a lot of hesitance in her eyes.
A knock resounds in their room, both of them turning to the door before Jungkook calls out 'Yeah?' to whoever is there.
"Party is starting, come downstairs when you're ready." Hoseok calls out, both of them yelling 'Alright' at the same time before he hears him doing the same to the next door, hearing Taehyung yelling something in excitement.
"Let's go, I could use a drink." Jungkook mumbles, straightening his suit for the last time and turning off the music before he outstretches his hand to Kiko.
She smiles, taking his hand gracefully as they both make it out of their room.
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It's some time past seven. Almost five hours till midnight. And still no sight of you joining the others downstairs. The various styles of songs, thanks to the built-in speakers in the entire cabin, play downstairs and set the party to a comfortable and fun environment. However, it doesn't help too much for Jungkook considering he's been clutching his can of beer for the past hour, eyeing the stairs just in case you were about to come out. Not even talking to Jimin and Taehyung, or more like just standing beside them while listening to them talking, hasn't been that much of a distraction.
They're both on the edge but unlike Jungkook, they actually try to hide their worries and distract themselves with each other's presence, and alcohol. Which to Jungkook, doesn't help too much and if he wasn't already having his third can of beer, he'd most likely reach for hard liquor. Vodka, whiskey... anything stronger than a beer.
But of course, he doesn't want to be overly dramatic. If you don't want to come to the party and feel like celebrating, he totally understands that. But he doesn't want you to be alone, especially when the cabin is full of people and well, he's here. How can he celebrate and have fun when you're upstairs obviously not feeling well? Right, five more minutes and he's going upstairs. This is unacceptable--
"Kook, don't worry," Jimin speaks up, cutting off Jungkook's thoughts of worries. "She said she'll come."
Yeah, that's right. Apparently, you spoke to Jimin and said you'll come downstairs. But the party has been going on for two hours and there's no sight of you.
All Jungkook can muster is a mere nod, not even denying that yes, all he can think about is whether you'll make it downstairs or not. He just wants to know.
"We all want her to join," Taehyung says, offering Jungkook a slight smile looking at him with sincere eyes. "But staring at those stairs every few seconds won't help."
"Taehyungie," Jimin sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose at his friend's bluntness.
"What? I'm just sayin'." he shrugs.
"You're always just sayin'." Jimin retorts, snorting underneath his breath, causing Taehyung's brows to frown as he opens his mouth to say something back, but before he can do that Jungkook is mindlessly throwing another glance at the stairs.
"It's okay if she doesn't want to come downstairs. I'm just worried how she is and if she's about to spend tonight upstairs all alone, I think we should be there for her." Jungkook speaks up, ignoring the little quarrel the two of them have.
"We are all worried, Kook," Jimin offers softly, "Just give her time."
Jungkook sighs. Time. That's all he's been hearing the whole day. Apparently, you need a lot of time. And that's okay. He just wants to see you because somehow, he doesn't believe no one and anything. Not until he sees you with his own eyes.
However, he's completely oblivious to your inner battle and you standing upstairs, just right in front of your already closed room. All glammed up with a fire of irritation and anger inside you. You've spent an hour to make yourself look amazing, hide your puffy eyes and distress with make-up. Even though it helped your puffy eyes that are no longer puffy, you could still see your reflection that lacked any emotion. You looked empty.
And maybe you still do.
But you're not going to be a crybaby about this. You're going to show you're not someone that gets to mess around with. It's not like you're plotting some kind of revenge, no. You're just not going to hold yourself back.
With a last sight in the empty hallway, you start walking towards the loud upbeat music. And for the first time today, you actually chuckle even though it's a bitter one. Someone up there is certainly mocking you as you listen to the lyrics of the song that gets more clear with each step you take.
"I ain't lookin' for enemies but I ain't playin' nice" is what the singer sings. Relatable, you think as a sly grin makes its way on your lips and your steps grow more confident with every step and second.
Downstairs, Jungkook allows himself to relax slightly. Not that the conversation with the guys helped too much, but deep down he knows they're right. He's being just overly worried like always. He joins the conversation, uttering a few words every now and then. This lasts a couple of minutes, not that he's counting but it definitely felt like a long time, until he mindlessly goes for a chug from his beer, eyes moving automatically towards the stairs even though he doesn't put that much thought to it. At least this time, it's not completely conscious and planned.
And the exact moment he sees you, not believing his eyes because you stand there walking down the stairs. The lyrics "what the fuck" sums up his thoughts perfectly and he chokes up on the beer, the bubbles scratching the back of his throat uncomfortably as his widened eyes stay at you.
He's not the only one because Taehyung and Jimin are already looking at you too, the view of you is right in front of them considering they're standing nearby the staircase. Jungkook doesn't pry his eyes off you, too shocked to see you and especially like this, but if he could he'd be able to see his friends' jaws on the floor as Jimin whistles.
You make it downstairs, glancing at your three friends as they look as if you've grown two heads. Jungkook goes to wipe his chin with the back of his hand, while Taehyung mutters something underneath his breath that you don't catch but makes him clear his throat while Jimin eyes you up and down shamelessly.
"You made it!"
"What the fuck."
Jimin and Jungkook speak at the same time, and even though Jimin's words were more exclamations of happiness, Jungkook's words were uttered confusingly. The four of you stay silent, your eyes narrowing at Jungkook as he stares right back at you with an unreadable gaze. Taehyung pokes him with his elbow, clearing his throat again as he smiles at you with a boxy smile.
"He meant that you look absolutely amazing." Taehyung tries to cover for Jungkook and you go along with him, giving the two of them a stiff nod.
You definitely look absolutely amazing.
There's no point of denying that. The three men know it, you literally made them stop talking and just stare at you the moment they've noticed you.
The nocturnal slip dress, satin and very thin dress to be exact, is tight and loose in all the right places. It's hard to describe but it definitely suits your body and shows your curves just right. It's sexy, mature but the neckline is not too deep, so it doesn't show the top of your breasts. But the dress definitely wraps around them perfectly, making you even sexier. The pink color, champagne pink compliments your skin tone and you look like a freaking goddess herself with big wavy hair. The dress is short, showing off your legs as well and the goddamn heels you're wearing makes them look even longer.
There is also a thin diamond choker wrapped around your neck, bringing more attention to that area and especially your exposed collarbones.
It's been a while since any of them have seen you wearing something like this. But to be fair, they've never seen you wearing these kinds of dresses. It's definitely different from your usual jeans, sweatpants and leggings kind of outfits.
"You do look amazing." Jungkook decides to speak, offering you a gentle glance but all he's met is you glancing at him unbothered, saying a simple and kind of dry 'thanks'.
He's not sure how to react or what to think about your odd reaction, even though you just thanked him back. Jungkook has always been the first one to detect when there's something weird going on with you and he's definitely more observant now. He knows you've been through a lot, basically locked yourself in a room alone not wanting to speak to neither of them that much. He doesn't know what to think right now, but he's cautious and Jimin and Taehyung seem to be the same.
Taehyung widens his eyes and raises his brows, deciding gulping down his beer is the best option for him. Jimin smiles at you, the smile looking careful and nervous but still honest.
"I'm glad you came, we've been waiting for you." he says, chuckling a little when you seem to lack any kind of reaction as you just stare at him.
"Why do you look so surprised, though? I told you I'd come." you mutter, glancing at Jungkook whose brows seem slightly narrowed as he stares at you with a baffled look.
You clear your throat, taking the can of beer from his hands as he gapes at you while you take a huge gulp of it. "Enough of staying by myself. Let's just have fun, right?" you smile, patting Jungkook's chest as he gapes at you all over again, slowly looking down at your hands on his half exposed chest.
You remain unbothered, the touch lasting just around two seconds before you're pulling away and brushing past him, still holding his beer. He's not getting it back for sure, he's certain of that.
The three men gape at you as you make it to the living room, catching Maya's attention as she's already rushing towards you and pulling you into a hug. Namjoon notices you too, joining the two of you as he beams at you with a friendly smile, opening his mouth to say something.
"Jungkook already said it but... what the fuck." Taehyung mutters, still staring at you as you laugh at something Maya said.
"Let's just... leave her be. She's probably just trying to distract herself. What could we expect, am I right? She's not magically going to be the old happy Y/N." Jimin tells them, offering a positive option and speech as always, meanwhile Jungkook is watching you with furrowed brows.
He's speechless. He can't bring himself to say anything. All he knows is that for some reason, he doesn't like this. But at least you're here now and it settles a tiny feeling of relief in his chest. But it's barely recognizable with the uncomfortable twist in the pit of his stomach.
"... you should join us next time Y/N." Namjoon says, turning to you as he takes a decent sip from his wine.
The silver watch on his wrist glimmers underneath the dim lightning, catching your attention for a brief second before you meet his eyes looking at you while drinking wine. He's been talking about his plans with Maya in spring, when the weather will be warmer and suitable for some hiking.
There's a glint of amusement in his tone as he ends his talk with proposing you joining them the next time, the memories of your last hiking with him causes you to let out a breathy chuckle. Maybe you were whining a little while hiking up the hill but you definitely enjoyed being away from the city, surrounded by the green nature. Now, the idea sounds even better.
"Joonie, the true hiking with you, I mean when you're in charge of the route, is like asking for death," Maya says, squeezing her boyfriend's shoulder as you snicker underneath your breath when Namjoon opens his mouth, gasping. She looks back at you, noticing you holding back your laugh. "No, I'm serious. He'd walk to the end of the world if it was possible. He has no empathy for slackers or someone who's walking a little behind him,"
You haven't had the true honor to experience 'Namjoon hike' as Maya called it a few minutes ago when her boyfriend started talking about this particular topic. Namjoon was a great partner for hiking back when you were on a camping trip, his presence overall was very calming. But there might be some truth to her words. Back then, everyone went on a hike together and there wasn't exactly someone in charge. If Kiko didn't fall and injure her ankle, you get the feeling Namjoon would go way further than you actually went.
"Besides, I could use the whole physical work-out some other way." She winks shamelessly at her boyfriend, Namjoon's cheeks flashing red as he exclaims her name dramatically as you giggle at the two of them.
"Oh my god," Namjoon breathes out, flashing you a nervous chuckle as he tries to play it off meanwhile you and Maya cackle at his reaction. "You know what? You're free to join us, Y/N."
"Oh, is she?"
You snort, Namjoon choking over his words as he furiously shakes his head before glaring at his girlfriend. "For hiking, you're free to join us on our hike in the future. I'm gonna grab some wine now, oh my god." He keeps mumbling something, frustratedly leaving the two of you to keep laughing.
You see him entering the kitchen, pouring himself the promised wine as Maya starts laughing with you even more. Your laugh dies down slowly as you both keep snickering. Maya glances at you, smiling before she looks behind you, her eyes lingering there for a while which causes your curiosity to win over and you look over your shoulder.
Clearly, her attention snatched none other than Jungkook who's casually chatting to Seokjin and his wife. If you looked harder, you could notice Kiko standing beside him but from your point of view, Jungkook is covering her body for the most part. He better be, you think – even if he's not doing that intentionally.
You can't blame Maya for staring at him, considering his great sense of style and well, him and his face. But that's probably not the main reason why she stares at him. There's no doubt she heard what Haneul said yesterday, everyone heard that. Those who didn't know you and Jungkook hooked up surely know that now. Even though you kind of think everyone at least had an idea or just didn't care. And you didn't care that much too, after all, it's your and Jungkook's privacy and it's no one's business but yours.
Part of you doesn't care about what anyone has to say or think. The other part, the smaller one, wonders if Maya thinks of you differently. It'd be a shame, you really like her and her presence.
So you turn around, catching her attention this time as she gives you an apologetic look almost as if apologizing for letting her curiosity take over.
"Just ask," you sigh, "Everyone knows at this point, right? There's nothing to hide." you mutter dryly, taking a gulp of your beer.
"I'm sorry," she says, "I was just... I'm not judging you or anything, I hope you don't think that." she assures you, causing you to shake your head.
"Honestly, I don't care if someone judges me or not."
She nods, shifting on her heels slightly. "I mean... I can't blame you." she mutters, causing you to look at her in confusion.
"What?"
"No, it's nothing, ignore me." she starts laughing, growing suddenly nervous which is very rare for her.
It causes you to narrow your eyes. "You started, just spill it."
She sighs and starts chuckling at herself for a moment while you stare at her with confused eyes. "I can't blame you, that you've slept with Jungkook, I mean... just look at him," You widen your eyes, opening your mouth in shock as she quickly jumps to clarify. "I know I've a boyfriend, I love Joonie! I wouldn't change him, but clearly... I've got eyes and wow. If I was single and--"
"Okay, okay, I get it," you stop her, looking at her with furrowed brows before you burst giggling at the look she's giving you. She looks nervous, shy but amused at the same time. "God, don't let Namjoon hear."
"What? He knows he's hot. I told him when he first showed me some pictures from the camping trip."
You almost choke on your spit, chuckling at her as you shake your head. "I'm sure he liked to hear that." you muse, causing her to snicker.
"Well, he knows he's the only man in my life," she says giggling, but there's nothing but honesty in her voice. She glances around, finding Namjoon as her eyes soften immediately and you can see the love in them.
You stand there for a moment, nibbling on the inside of your cheek before Maya looks back at you and her features soften in a friendly worry. "I'm glad you joined us tonight, I know what you're going through right now is not easy but I'm here for you. I know we don't know each other for long, but I'm here if you need a friend."
"Thanks, that's nice to hear." you tell her, forcing yourself to smile her way. You appreciate her saying it, you just feel that stab in your chest every few minutes and you realize that no, you're not having fun like you promised yourself. You just wish people would stop bringing it up.
"I know you've Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin, but me and Joon are always here if you need someone else," she says and god, she's very sweet and attentive but you don't like that she keeps talking about this topic. It just reminds you how mad and hurt you're feeling.
Although, you stay quiet and smile her way.
"The man was so weird the whole day. It's clear he was very worried about you."
"Who? Jungkook?" you ask, knowing exactly what he's talking about and when she nods, you get your confirmation.
"Yeah, his head just wasn't in the right place. Honestly, fuck whatever anyone thinks."
"Couldn't say it better," you breathe out, sighing a little as you empty the can of beer by drinking the rest of it. "What do you say? One more?"
Maya takes the hint, afterall it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you're not very open to talk about this topic. She understands that and she grins at you.
"Girl, count me in!"
One more has turned into many more that quickly turned you into being tipsy but for the first time, you kind of feel free even though the same hurtful feelings are still very fresh. And you came to a conclusion they're not going to leave just like that – not until you figure this whole thing out with Haneul.
You excuse yourself from Maya and Taehyung, the two loyal partners that almost made it their mission to drink just as much as you do. Even Jimin joined for a few shots (yes, you started drinking shots instead of beer). It's a decision you'll probably regret tomorrow morning but you'd do anything to have fun and not ponder on those thoughts too much. You're aware of them, but at least this way you get to laugh and actually have fun with your friends.
Your heels are starting to be a pain in your ass but your walk is somehow stable to the kitchen, where you take a whole bottle of vodka. This will do, you think before you hear someone make their way into the kitchen as well.
"Oh," Jungkook breathes out, surprised to see you as he sends you a faint smile while you just stare at him. "Are you having fun?"
It's clear it's his way of starting a conversation, not letting the obvious awkward tension take over. You nod, not really what to say. You notice he disposed himself of his jacket suit, chest on much bigger display now that he nears where you're standing.
Ever since you came downstairs, you haven't really spent time with him. You're not sure why, but you're glad about that considering whenever you see him, you're just reminded of what his girlfriend has done and it automatically makes you angry. So you've been kind of avoiding him, knowing his presence could evoke the build-up anger even more and you know yourself. You won't be holding back.
"Are you okay?" he asks softly, standing beside you as you grip the bottle tighter, clenching your jaw slightly. You're slowly getting sick of that question.
Maybe part of you knows (and the reason why you've been avoiding him) is the fact that he knows you too well, he makes you vulnerable and you're trying really hard not to fall apart in front of him. Not again after yesterday. You've cried enough.
"Don't I look okay to you?" You decide to say instead, raising a brow at him as he sighs.
"You know what I mean." he tells you, voice careful as if he knew you're just seconds from bursting.
Fully turning to your best friend, you stare deep into his eyes. "My boyfriend left because of your lovely girlfriend and her big mouth. Although, he didn't break up with me, he still hasn't contacted me ever since yesterday and oh, he embarrassed me in front of everyone, assuming I slept with my other two friends because I slept with you,"
He stares at you, eyes big and doe and not surprised at all. He knows all of that, he knows about everything you said. And he knows you're in fact – not okay.
"But other than that, I'm okay."
"I'm sorry, Y/N."
It's something about that pitiful look that sets you off, causing you to grit your teeth. "I don't need your pity."
"I don't pity you," Okay, maybe he does but he's mostly worried. "I just want you to know I'm here for you."
Maybe it's how everyone seems to pity you that makes you not even angry, but embarrassed. They pity you and you don't like that feeling. You've noticed Seokjin's and Jia's glances at you, both of them looking at you almost the same way like Jungkook is looking at you right now. Taehyung might not be staring at you pitifully, but you know he does pity you and him drinking with you and joking around is his way of distracting you.
Jimin acts as if nothing happened, but you know him and Taehyung exchange glances whenever they're around.
As you glance at Jungkook, you find him nibbling on his bottom lip slightly as he peers at you with a soft look. But you're momentarily distracted when an increased fit of laughter gets your attention and you glance back to the main room, seeing Seokjin and Jia laughing about something. But that's not what turns your mood back to sour. The sight of Kiko does.
Although, she just stands there with a small smile on her face, it feels like a slap to your face. Jungkook follows your line of vision, cringing slightly as he opens his mouth to say something but before he can, you're faster.
"Well, now excuse me before I lose it all over again and mess up her pretty make-up." you give him a wide and tight smile which is nowhere near genuine.
"Y/N..." Jungkook sighs but you're already walking away, the bottle of vodka tightly gripped in your hands.
He stands there, sighing again before he rubs his face frustratedly. This whole night feels like a big failure.
Jungkook follows you shortly after, looking neutral as he looks around the room and notices Taehyung excitedly proposing to play hide-and-seek. The idea of hiding in this huge cabin excites mostly everyone, however Jungkook feels weird about your behavior and definitely feels that something isn't right. He stands close to you, noticing that you sense his presence because you tense a little which makes him frown slightly.
Just when he's sure that you will call it a stupid game, protesting and probably wanting to get drunk, you take a shot and grin at Taehyung. "Yeah, let's do it!" you yell excitedly, Maya joining you along with Hoseok and Seokjin who warns everyone not to break anything.
Everyone knows just because he says it, doesn't help that much. Everyone is mostly drunk and tipsy, so the chance of breaking something is very high-likely.
"Y/N..." Jungkook murmurs beside you, hands itching to reach towards you to make him look at him but before he can think whether it's a good idea or not, you look at him. "Can we just talk? I know you're--"
"Talk, right now? We're gonna play, Kook." you tell him, smiling at him before you brush past him and already join everyone in the circle they create, deciding who's going to be a seeker.
For god knows how many times, he sighs and joins everyone without a word, ignoring the pitiful look Jimin sends him because he's been witness to their interaction from a far.
It's close to midnight, maybe an hour or so, when everyone spreads around the entire cabin in a rush, trying to hide from Namjoon and Kiko (yes, the two of them deciding they'll be seekers for this game). Your heels slow you down a little but thanks to your tipsiness, you don't even feel the rush from trying to hide quickly.
Not knowing where you're even going, you open one of the doors at the end of the hall, walking in and slowly closing it. Sighing, you look around not really seeing much because the room is of course dark. It looks huge and from the look of it, it looks like a master bedroom. This has to be Seokjin's and Jia's room, you think.
You're too tipsy to hide underneath the bed, so you look around the room. There is a huge bathroom but unfortunately, there's no good hiding spot. Sighing, you walk into a walk-in closet that makes your mouth open. There aren't that many clothes, considering Seokjin's family doesn't spend too much time here but there are a few clothes which probably belong to Seokjin and Jia too.
Turning off the lights, you walk back into the bedroom. There is a huge balcony, placed at the back of the cabin with a view to snowy mountains. Of course, you can't hide there because it's freezing. Maybe it'd be a good spot, knowing they probably think no one would be stupid enough to hide there in this cold. You may be drunk, but you're not that drunk to risk your own health by some game.
You hear a little rustling in the room, your heart dropping for a second before you realize there must be someone already hiding. The sound has come from a tall closet in the corner of the room, so you slowly walk there cautiously. You reach for the knobs, suddenly snatching it open as you let out a surprised yelp when you see someone there.
"Oh my god," you whisper-yell, eyes wide as the person snorts and you realize it's Jungkook. Out of all places, he has to choose this room too, you almost want to laugh at the irony.
There's no time for any exchange of words because as you open your mouth again, Namjoon yelling they finished counting resounds and although it's faint because they're far away, you still hear him. Knowing there's no time to try and find another hiding spot, you quickly shove yourself there causing you to push Jungkook as he curses.
His back collides with the back of the closet, a thumping sound resounding loudly as you close the door, awkwardly pressed on Jungkook while an edge of hanger is pressing into the side of your face. You grunt, pushing it away as Jungkook shifts on his spot.
"Yah, go find another place. We can't both fit here." he protests, scolding you while more hangers are pressed in his back uncomfortably.
"Excuse me? I didn't know your annoying ass went here out of all places," you frown, and although it can't be seen in the dark, you know it's perfectly heard and recognizable in your voice.
Jungkook huffs just as Namjoon yells again that they're starting just in case someone didn't hear them.
"This is the most obvious spot." you grumble under your breath, turning around to face the front as Jungkook grunts when you accidentally elbow him in his stomach.
"Why did you go here then?" Jungkook mutters behind you.
"I ran out of time, it's hard to rush in heels," you point out bitterly, "We're going to be found here soon anyway, sixty seconds to hide? What am I? A spiderman?" you complain, hearing Jungkook shift trying to find a comfortable position but it's almost impossible. You're totally squeezed here and the closet looks like it's already full of Seokjin's and Jia's clothes.
That's why their walk-in closet is almost empty.
"Y/N, the point of hide-and-seek is for you to hide and shut up once you do hide." Jungkook retorts back at you.
"Shut up Jeon, nobody asked you."
"Just like nobody asked you to complain and bring spiderman into this."
"Oh god, you're such a child." you comment, rolling your eyes when you hear him huff behind you.
"Am I? Or are you?"
That makes you clench your jaw. It's obvious he's not just talking about your bickering, his bitter tone saying it all.
"I'm gonna ignore that." you grumble back.
"Good." He doesn't waste a second in replying back.
You straighten yourself, accidentally elbowing him again causing him to grunt in pain. Although, you don't apologize even though the apology is at the top of your tongue but your stubborn self remains quiet. You shouldn't talk too much either way, especially when you start hearing people knowing they must've found someone by now.
So you're quiet for a moment, just standing there in an awkward silence. Your feet hurt from wearing your heels and especially from standing in them in an uncomfortable position. You barely move, but you feel it perfectly and if you weren't so focused on your bickering, maybe you'd realize it hasn't been just Jungkook's chest that has been pressed against you from the moment you entered this closet and turned around with your back facing him.
You awkwardly bite your lower lip before you release it.
"Your dick is pressed against my ass." you comment, grumbling at Jungkook.
But as always, he reacts quickly to your accusation."What am I supposed to do? It's not like I do it on purpose." His voice is a silent exclamation of annoyance.
"Then scoot back!" you exclaim while whispering.
"Where? You shoved yourself in here when I told you there's no space!" he exclaims back.
You ignore him, knowing he's right but you won't admit it and the only thing that is left for you to do, is to stay quiet.
But Jungkook's dick is obviously not going anywhere and you feel it pressed against your lower back, almost touching your ass which makes you frustrated. It's been a while since you were this close to him and of course, there wasn't any reason to be this close to him. You haven't touched his dick ever since he fucked you in his apartment while you were draped over his couch. Thinking about those times again makes you frustrated and you feel your heart quicking up the pace.
"Oh my god..." you grumble, sounding annoyed, to which Jungkook quickly understands the reason behind it.
"It's right there! It's not my fault!" He quickly defends himself.
You open your mouth, wanting to tell him to put away his big dick but you're quickly stopped when the door from this bedroom opens and you shut your mouth immediately.
"Let me check here,"
You roll your eyes at the sound of Kiko's voice, hearing Namjoon give her a reply, saying he'll check the next room. The rule of this hide-and-seek was not to light up any lights which makes it more fun to play. Maybe that's why Hoseok refused to be a seeker the last minute this rule had been spoken.
"You idiots will scare the crap out of me for sure, no thanks. I'm hiding." He said which made everyone cackle devilishly, knowing he was right about that. So Namjoon took his place instead.
You don't see anything but you do hear her walking around the room, probably looking under the bed before she checks the bathroom and the walk-in closet as well. She's close, you think when you hear her heels clicking against the wooden floor. It seems as if she was just a few meters away from you and you press your hand over your mouth, automatically scooting back. Obviously, there's no space and you're left pressing against Jungkook and unfortunately, his dick too as you feel it now against your ass, pressed tightly.
And then it happens. He actually grunts at the contact, tensing right away as he closes his eyes in a failure.
You swear your heart stopped beating for a few seconds, your eyes widening at the sound he made knowing you're the reason why he made it because your stupid self just pressed against him like that. It wasn't done on purpose but it surely feels awkward, making you embarrassed.
Your cheeks feel hot and your breath is caught in your throat. There's silence, no one makes any noise and you almost think Kiko left even though you've never heard her closing the door. And just as this thought crosses your mind, the door from the closet where you're hiding snatches open and you almost stumble forward in surprise but Jungkook holds you.
Hands on your hips grips you tightly and he helps you stabilize on your heels, so you wouldn't hurt yourself.
"You good?" he asks behind you which you just nod to. He must've recognized the gesture in the darkness.
"Yeah, thanks." You decide to answer, getting out of the closet carefully.
Kiko must've noticed there's someone else there with you and as soon as she heard Jungkook's voice, at least she thought she did, her assumption turns out to be right when she clearly notices Jungkook stumbling out of your hiding spot too.
"Kookie?" she asks, your eyes automatically rolling and for the first time, you're not glad about the darkness because you'd gladly let her see you.
"Hi," he lets out almost nervously, scratching the back of his head. "You found us."
For some reason, you don't find this as funny as you'd expect to and you almost feel bad for Jungkook who looks nervous. Maybe he's scared Kiko will think of this differently and you notice how tense she seems to be, but that could easily be done by your presence.
She hasn't talked to you ever since yesterday happened, she's been avoiding you and you get the feeling Jungkook must've advised her to do so. Something tells you, her apologetic ass would crawl back to you and apologize for telling Haneul.
Oh, fuck... you're just getting angry all over again.
"You were hiding there?" she asks slowly and softly, almost insecure as she points towards the closet.
You see Jungkook clearing his throat, opening his mouth but you just step closer to Jungkook so she could see you. She turns her head towards you and you give her a tight smile which you're not sure if she catches. At least there's a slight moonlight coming through the windows, so she probably can tell your features have changed.
"Don't worry, it's not like he'd cheat on you." you tell her, patting Jungkook's chest as he tenses.
"Y/N," he warns you, you know you're pushing his buttons but the look on her face tells you it was worth it.
"Oh sorry, that must've slipped my mouth," you shrug innocently, grinning at him before you start walking out of the door. "It's no secret anyways."
And you're out of room, finally releasing a breath of relief as you make it downstairs where others found are already there.
You're quickly accompanied by Jimin, Maya and Taehyung as they share their hiding spots. Their laughter is the only thing that makes you slightly distracted to the point you don't notice Jungkook and Kiko coming downstairs shortly after, hands intertwined together.
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The midnight comes quickly after that, or maybe it's just you because once you started doing shots with Taehyung and Maya again, time has seemed to quicken up. Soon after, you found yourself outside, everyone wearing jackets to slightly ease up the cold while doing the countdown. Your legs shiver even though they're wrapped in a blanket that you're holding closer to yourself.
Seokjin told you about the fireworks, so that's the main reason everyone is doing countdown outside. And just like he promised, it's beautiful and colorful and even though everyone cheers and you're squeezed into a hug with Jimin and Taehyung, you just can't find yourself to be happy.
The main reason is that you imagined this trip differently. And it's the saddening feeling that Haneul should've been here with you and he's not, so you're naturally just reminded of everything that happened and everything he said to you again.
However, you find yourself smiling and hugging your friends. You get a glimpse of Jungkook and Kiko kissing, causing your smile to drop as you quickly look away and ignore the feeling of jealousy. If it weren't for her and things wouldn't turn out the way they did, you could've had your own kiss with your boyfriend.
You're jealous, angry and hurt because Jungkook gets to kiss her as if nothing happened, meanwhile you're standing here hurt and without your boyfriend's presence. They're both selfish, although you don't expect them to act differently or not have a New Year's kiss just because of you. You know it's stupid to think of it that way but you can't help it. You're petty and all the emotions are still fresh. One day won't solve anything.
Shortly after, Jungkook comes to join your circle and hugs everyone, wishing them the same old "Happy New Year". He does the same to you, his eyes softening as soon as he looks you in the eyes noticing you look kind of sad. He doesn't mention it though, knowing that's not what you wanted. The hug he gives you is longer and probably stronger than the one he shared with the others, Jimin and Taehyung included.
You hold your blanket, so you don't exactly hug him back or put your hands around him, but you lay your face and you seek a comfort that you know only Jungkook can give you. He has a special talent for that and for a few seconds you find yourself relaxing slightly and enjoying him being so close to you.
You haven't been acting towards him well and it makes you feel like crap. But you've to put yourself and your well-being first. You know your remark that had been aimed at Kiko when she found you and Jungkook hurt him, you know it and yet you're nowhere near done.
Maybe you're selfish too. Or maybe this is just a very fucked up situation but unfortunately, you're not going to pretend to act a certain way for someone else's sake.
When you pull away, you give him an awkward smile which he undoubtedly notices but doesn't call you out for it, offering you a soft smile. You're both snatched by Taehyung and Jimin who ushers everyone inside and you can't complain, shaking once you make it inside and you're welcomed by the warmth of the cabin.
The night doesn't end there, the exact opposite actually. The music turns even louder and Seokjin turns on disco lights they brought over, making it look like a club instead of a simple living room.
You're having fun, drinking too much but luckily there's no one stopping you. Somehow, you find yourself sitting on one of the couches, legs crossed and finally warmed up, when you notice there's also Kiko.
She's talking to Jungkook about something and you catch her giggle at something he says. The way he smiles back at her pains you even more, feeling betrayed and before you know it, you're already gulping the next shot Taehyung prepared for you.
Distracting yourself, you listen to Namjoon who suggests going camping in June or July which everyone agrees immediately. Seokjin doesn't forget to mention that he wants to go too, but he's not sure if he'll be able to go before the baby arrives. If a camping trip takes place in June, Jia will already be nine months pregnant so technically he could come but isn't sure if he wants to risk it.
With that topic, Taehyung gushes about how much fun he had the last time and you automatically agree when he asks you if you had fun.
"Of course, I had fun," you ponder, noticing Kiko looking at you and surprisingly, she doesn't look away like you expect her to. "That camping trip was amazing, right Jungkook?" you ask loudly, catching Jungkook's eyes as he looks at you and frowns in confusion for a moment.
Where are you going with this?
"Exciting even," you muse, smirking when you see Jungkook clearing his throat and shifting on his spot. "Wouldn't you say?"
He already knows what you're talking about, it's not hard to know.
"Yeah," he lets out through clenched teeth, voice sounding strained.
Everyone else must've picked up on it and you notice Taehyung glancing between you and him, knowing there's a missing piece to your conversation meanwhile Jimin looks worried about whatever you're about to say.
Namjoon and Maya look clueless, confused even while Hoseok just drinks from his champagne and Seokjin cuddles to his wife, too occupied to even properly think about your conversation.
"Am I missing something?" Taehyung asks, earning a warning glare from Jimin but the poor guy just shrugs innocently and almost looks amused when you purse your lips and smirk at him.
"Why? Do you get the feeling as if you were?" you ask innocently, even a completely drunk person would be able to tell the mischief in your tone.
"Hmm, you know I do," Taehyung muses, smirking at you as you giggle. "I get the feeling there's something more to this exciting part. So tell us, what was so exciting about this trip?"
Jimin sighs beside you, rubbing his forehead while he holds a glass of whiskey on his knee. It's more than clear that Taehyung is all here for juicy stuff and it's like the two of you are speaking without words, eyes amusingly dancing between each other.
"Why don't you tell us, Jungkook? What else was exciting... or excited?" you ask, biting your lower lip to prevent yourself from grinning but you do as Taehyung gasps, his drunk head already getting the clue of what you're hinting at as his jaw falls on the floor.
Jungkook stands up abruptly, tossing his glass on the table with a loud clunk as you just raise your brow at him as he makes his way over to you.
"I'm just saying, the tents were very comfortable--"
"Can I talk to you?" Jungkook asks through clenched teeth, eyes momentarily glaring at Taehyung who cackles while Jimin sighs again.
Maya snorts somewhere in the background while Namjoon silently scolds her. You're not sure what others do, but some of them probably ignore this interaction because you hear Seokjin talking about something to someone.
"I was actually in the middle of talking. I thought we're all sharing our memories from the trip."
"Stop it," he snaps silently, glaring at you. "Come on."
"I'm not done--what the fuck!" you exclaim as you're hoisted up, Jungkook's hand wrapped around your forearm as he drags you out of the living room.
He's going too fast and you curse at him, trying to pry his hands off you but he holds you tightly. You're too busy looking at your feet, trying not to stumble in those goddamn heels, so you don't look at the reactions of others.
Jungkook drags you upstairs, letting you go when you make it to the middle.
"What the fuck was that?" he asks you straight away, hands going into his hair for a moment.
You cross your arms over your chest. "What? I was just sharing with others."
"Sharing what exactly? That I fucked you in a tent on that camping trip?" he snaps back.
"Actually yeah," you straighten yourself, glaring at him. "I wasn't done though. I forgot to tell them how you almost fucked me in a forest on that trip too."
Jungkook grunts, looking away as he tries to calm himself down by breathing sharply and slowly. "Why are you doing this?"
You just stare at him blankly, although you do poke your tongue into your cheek.
"I know you're hurt and angry, but I don't get why you are pulling a stunt like this."
He probably does have a clue but decides to talk about it, wanting to make you feel guilty. At least you think so, because the way he looks at you is a mix of anger and disappointment. Unfortunately, you don't care.
"A stunt? It's true, Jungkook. Suddenly I can't be open about what we've done? Stop making a big deal out of this... I mean, everyone already knows!" you yell while laughing bitterly, throwing your arms in the air.
"Stop," he murmurs. "This isn't you. You're just hurt."
"Oh, fuck off," you scoff, "This isn't me? How would you know? You think you know me all perfectly and can talk me out of everything. You know what? No, fuck you too. Go back to your so perfect girlfriend because why wouldn't you? She just ruined your best friend's relationship but who cares, right? At least you got her back."
"I don't know what you want from me, Y/N. You want me to break-up with her because she made a mistake? You know how selfish that sounds? And reminding her of our deal--I know you're doing this to hurt her."
"No shit, Sherlock," you scoff, "She hurt me and nobody cares!"
"I care!" he yells suddenly, releasing a breath as he frustratedly pinches the bridge of his nose. "This is not healthy, Y/N. You're hurt and--"
"Fuck off, seriously," you tell him, wanting to brush past him but he catches your wrists. "Let me go, Jeon. I didn't finish talking about how you fucked me while she was just a few meters away from us."
And then Jungkook growls, he freaking growls, before he backs you to the wall and presses you into it.
"What the fuck," you curse at him, pushing him in his chest but he doesn't budge and presses his hands against the wall beside your head, caging you in. "Did I get you mad?" you coo, touching his chest lightly.
"Stop," he warns you, "Stop acting like this."
You scoff, "I can act however I want," you look away for a second. "And who the fuck are you to tell me what's healthy and what's not? You're the one who faked a relationship just to get back a cheater."
"And you're hurting over some asshole that slut-shamed you in front of everyone."
You open your mouth, genuinely taken aback by the sudden outburst coming from him as you grow mad and hurt at the same time.
Jungkook's eyes widen for a moment, as if he just realized what he said but he keeps his mouth shut and you don't give the satisfaction of reacting to that. So you purposely ignore it.
"I should get back," you tell him through clenched teeth, "Maybe Kiko would be interested knowing you also fucked me in your--"
"Fucking stop!"
You jump when Jungkook slaps the wall harshly beside your head, breath turning heavy as he glares at you. He's so close, his own harsh breaths warming your face as you breathe heavily too, your heart racing from his sudden reaction.
You can't blame him though, you purposely provoked him knowing you're pushing his buttons way too much.
Jungkook sighs, head hanging low before he slowly looks up, meeting your suddenly soft eyes. He leans his forehead against yours, noses brushing against each other as you both breathe heavily, breaths mingling together.
"What are you doing to me," he whispers, closing his time for a moment.
You almost want to cry, growing more vulnerable each second by his close proximity and all you can do is stare at him, eyes dropping down to his half-opened mouth. He stares at you, his own eyes dropping to your lips once he slightly detaches his forehead from yours. You both share a look, something you can't explain because you just stare at each other, acknowledging the close proximity.
"What the hell are you guys doing?"
You and Jungkook snap your head towards the end of the hall, finding a frowning Jimin who harshly whispers at the two of you.
"Seokjin is about to cut the cake." he explains, eyeing you and Jungkook. You completely forgot about that NYE cake Seokjin ordered.
You clear your throat as Jungkook suddenly takes a large step back, taking a long breath as you quickly rush past him. You ignore the look Jimin gives you, quickly going downstairs.
And Jungkook does the same, looking at Jimin as if the older one isn't giving him a strange look and glare mixed together, brushing past him.
Jimin just sighs, following you downstairs. He needs another shot. Pronto. 
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The party is in a full swing, still going wild and maybe even wilder since everyone seems to be drunk and having fun. Well, maybe except Jungkook who has distanced himself from the crowd of his friends, needing that little space after your conversation.
Oh fuck, you got him so mad. He still replays your interaction no matter how many times he's trying to tell himself to let it go. You were tipsy, were the key word because now you look completely drunk.
But at least there's a smile on your face while you're dancing with Taehyung who seems to be just as drunk. Is that smile of yours fake? Are you really just having fun or is it your way of pretending to have fun? He can't tell because you're drunk.
Your words that you so bluntly told him have affected him more than he'd admitted. He knows they still affect him, even though he knows it was just a pure act of your anger and pain at the same time. You're probably more hurt than angry, but you wouldn't admit it but he knows you.
It feels twisted – you trying to hurt Kiko just because she hurt you by opening her mouth about something she obviously shouldn't have the right to do. He gets that, he still gets annoyed and just genuinely exhausted when he thinks about it. It hurts him because this is what he was so scared of.
He's already standing between you two and he just can't do nothing, letting you hurt each other. Intentionally or unintentionally. He can't blame you for your reaction, he knew from the moment you appeared downstairs that you've a certain facade going on. But you trying to hurt Kiko, even though he understands that you're mad at her, by bringing up your deal just makes him feel betrayed.
It's clear it would do no good and just hurt more feelings, not saying you'd probably feel embarrassed the next day after you'd realize you so openly talked about you and him in front of everyone. He's not stupid, everyone probably knows you hooked up. But still, bringing everyone into it would never end well and would just end up in a huge disaster of embarrassment.
So fucking exhausted, Jungkook thinks and sighs as he tooks another swing of his tequila. He has long forgo a beer, knowing he needs something stronger to ease his nerves and the exhaustion of this trip.
"So, what was that upstairs?"
He doesn't flinch but is surprised to see Jimin, stopping beside him and giving him a glance that he can't quite identify what it means. But something tells him Jimin thinks about it more than it is in reality.
"What exactly?" Jungkook mutters, forcing himself to look away from his friend and his almost judging eyes. Now that he thinks about it, he does feel a little uncomfortable by that. Especially because he knows Jimin seeing you two like that raises a weird suspicion. Shortly said, he realizes how bad it must've looked.
Jungkook listens to Jimin as he sighs, but still keeps his eyes elsewhere. He's tense, he can feel his back muscles flexing but decides to stay silent by brushing his tongue against his back teeth.
"If someone else saw you like that, you know what they'd think." Jimin decides to say, frowning a little.
That causes Jungkook to finally glance at him, mirroring his own frowned expression as he notices Jimin's face slightly red but despite that, he doesn't look drunk but it's easily recognizable that he must've had a few shots.
"It seems like you're thinking the same thing." Jungkook scoffs a little, taking another gulp of his tequila.
It burns the back of his throat but it's nothing he can't handle. He almost craves it now.
"I'm not... well, sorry but to see you guys standing so close to each other like--" Jimin stops, sighing again. "Look, I'm just saying it looked weird. There would be rumors going around if someone else saw you."
"I wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend if that's what you're insinuating," Jungkook points out with a hard tone. Jimin widens his eyes, realizing how that must've sounded and he's about to apologize when Jungkook doesn't let him by easily continuing after a moment. "And as much as Y/N hates Kiko right now and maybe is plotting some kind of sick revenge, she wouldn't use me to hurt her like that."
"Of course not," Jimin agrees silently, "I don't think you guys would go behind her back and do something like that. You're friends, right?" he asks unsurely and Jungkook catches on to it but decides not to comment on it.
Instead, he just nods.
"You just came at the wrong time, it wasn't like that Jimin-ah," Jungkook sighs, rubbing his eyes with his free hand before he sighs. "She was purposely trying to piss me off. She was about to tell Kiko about--" He stops, almost cringing when he realizes he was about to confess what you were doing on that camping trip.
"Well... about us, like a more detailed version and I could've seen how much pain she's hiding behind that anger. She said some hurtful stuff to be honest... I don't find it very pleasing and comfortable to hear. She knows me so well, so she knows exactly where to dig to hurt me, even though I think she wasn't trying to purposely hurt me."
"Yeah, I understand that. Arguing with people close to you is the hardest because they know you the best."
Jungkook silently agrees by nodding.
"I just got frustrated, she was trying to go downstairs and I stopped her before she could say something that she might regret tomorrow. I know she's mad but I also know she's not the type to hurt people in that way,"
It's clear your emotions have been controlling you ever since yesterday.
"I mean... sometimes she does say hurtful things but it's not because she wants to hurt someone but because she's honest. This was different, tonight was different. She wasn't about to say those things because she wanted to be honest, but because she wanted to hurt Kiko."
"I understand why she wanted to do that. Not because it's right but because she's been hurt a lot since Haneul left and overall, yesterday was very overwhelming even for me, so I can't possibly imagine how overwhelmed she felt among other things," Jimin says softly, causing the younger to perk his eyes in interest but mostly he nods because he agrees with him.
"But I also think she should've considered your feelings more. Especially in what position she's putting you in. This is mainly between her and Kiko, but also she's your girlfriend and that makes it even more complicated. To say it this way... every side has its own truth and reason why it's acting like this."
Jimin watches his younger friend nibbling on his bottom lip almost self-consciously, eyes focused on the floor as he doesn't even blink while processing his words. Jungkook is in a very bad position right now and just like Jimin said, it makes it even more complicated.
Jimin always knows what to say and even when Jungkook doesn't say it, he appreciates him saying all these things and even for coming up to talk to him. Maybe the main purpose of this conversation was about what happened upstairs, which Jungkook explained. The truth is, it was a little bit of both. Jimin wanted to know what's going on but mainly, he saw Jungkook standing alone and he quickly realized there's something wrong with his younger friend.
Jungkook is that kind of friend and person that doesn't usually talk about his own struggles. If he does, you're the person he comes up to and opens to. But considering you're the reason, or more like the situation that involves you is, makes you unavailable. Plus, it seems like you've other important things to deal with than Jungkook's hurt feelings and frustrating thoughts that are caused by this particular situation.
"Thank you hyung..." Jungkook mutters, glancing at Jimin before quickly averting his eyes elsewhere. Still, he catches the little grin that spreads on Jimin's lips.
"Aw, did you just call me hyung?" Jimin coos, gripping Jungkook's shoulders as he shakes with him a little causing the younger one to roll his eyes but there's a little smile playing on his lips. "Don't go soft on me now," Jimin teases, laughing at Jungkook's expression of annoyance and amusement at the same time.
With one swift movement, Jungkook pokes him in his stomach which causes Jimin yelp as he laughs and lets him go, knowing Jungkook is stronger and would easily put him back in place.
"Don't worry about it too much, Jungkook-ah," Jimin says softly, catching his eyes. "She just has to get drunk and get over it on her own. We all tried to help as much as we could, we still do but look," Jimin points towards you, Jungkook's eyes widening when he sees you on a freaking table dancing with Taehyung. That looks very dangerous.
Jungkook is really to stroll over and Jimin probably expects it, quickly catching his wrist to stop him.
"Let her have fun. She needs this. I think Taehyung does a great job at distracting her."
Jungkook tenses but stays glued to his spot, his eyes eyeing you and Taehyung to make sure Jimin is right. You're laughing at Taehyung, both singing or more like yelling the song's lyrics.
"She's wearing freaking heels and is dancing on a table," Jungkook points out, voice slightly raising as if Jimin couldn't see it.
He doesn't get it. Jimin is usually the one that would get worried first and then plead you to come down from there.
"What if she falls? Or Taehyung? They're both drunk." he mutters, eyeing his friends worriedly as Jimin slightly smiles at Jungkook's little pout.
"Taehyung is holding her. They're just standing there, they're not even dancing that much."
Jungkook stares skeptically at you and Taehyung. Jimin is right, Taehyung has a tight grip on you but that doesn't mean you both can't fall. And Jungkook speaks out his thoughts causing Jimin to snort as he shakes his head.
"Just let them be. Don't ruin their fun."
Lastly, Jungkook wants to argue and point out that if they'll have to call an ambulance there is no going back and somebody can get hurt. He doesn't understand why everyone around you doesn't do something, they just seem to cheer you on.
But he decides not to get involved for now, your smile and laugh is very rare these days so he drops it. However, he still allows himself to huff loudly as he takes another gulp from his tequila because – what else he can do now, right? 
A half an hour later, you and Taehyung have become more reckless with each passing minute and song. You even take shots on the table, not getting off it while doing so and Jungkook sees you stumbling a little, his heart dropping at the sight.
He might've decided he's not going to get involved, but he surely is about to.
You're dancing, your dress is hiking up as everyone probably gets a perfect view of your lacy white panties because even from the distance where Jungkook is standing, he notices the white fabric almost immediately. Jimin must've noticed it too because he looks at Jungkook with widened eyes.
"Alright, that's it. I'm stopping this right now." Jungkook says, putting down his glass with a loud thud as he strolls back to the living room, aiming towards you and Taehyung.
He fails to hear Jimin sigh as he follows him. He has to admit, Jungkook is right. It's starting to get out of hand and you still wearing those heels look even more dangerous. You're more the careful type even when drunk, but right now you're so reckless and you definitely don't need to break your leg or something.
You're in the middle of singing with Taehyung when you hear your voice being called, causing you to look down. Immediately, you're met with Jungkook's disapproval frown and if you weren't so drunk, maybe you'd notice how serious he looks. Jimin stands behind him, eyeing the scene worriedly.
"Come down, you're gonna hurt yourself." Jungkook tells you, almost pleading with you before he sends a glare Taehyung's way when he notices him twerking all of a sudden.
"Yeah, it's dangerous. You're wearing heels." Jimin tries behind Jungkook, but you barely pay them any attention as you start giggling at Taehyung's twerking as you slap his ass.
Taehyung starts giggling, wiggling his eyebrows at you as Jungkook groans and looks desperately at Jimin. He just shrugs but decides to make his way to Taehyung, scolding him too.
"Y/N, come on, come down from there." Jungkook tries again but all he's met with is...
"You want me, I want you baby,My sugarboo, I'm levitating,"
Jungkook groans loudly, glaring at the way you lean towards him while still standing on that freaking table and singing at him unbothered. At least that table looks stable and massive.
"Stop it."
"You stop it!" you exclaim childishly. "Come up here!"
"Y/N, I don't think--"
"I got you, moonlight, you're my starlight,I need you all night, come on dance with me,I'm levitating,"
It's the way you kind of jump while dancing and singing that makes Jungkook's eyes grow big, your legs slightly unstable as you stumble a little and yelp surprisingly, but you start giggling as if you didn't just almost fall.
In the background, Jimin is trying to tug down drunk Taehyung and yells at Namjoon for help. All of that interaction goes almost unnoticed by Jungkook because he can feel the way his stomach clenched when you almost fell.
"That's it," He snaps, catching your arms as you start to wiggle from his hold but he holds you even tighter, too scared to let go in case you'd fall. "You're coming down, right now."
"Let me go, Jeon," you yell drunkenly, alcohol making you protest way less than you'd if you were sober. But you wouldn't be dancing on a table while sober, so there's that.
Jungkook doesn't beat around the bush, tugging you closer to him before he wraps his arms around your frame. He hoists you up as if you gained nothing, throwing you over his shoulder and quickly pulling your dress down to cover your thighs and to save some of your dignity, before he starts walking out of the room. On the way out there he catches Kiko's eyes but doesn't stop because you start thrashing around.
"What the hell," He hears you complain, "Let me go!" you yell at him, trying to move your legs but Jungkook holds you tightly just below your butt, keeping a tight grip on your thighs while the other arm holds your calves.
He starts walking up the stairs and you grow even more frustrated at the lack of attention he's giving you. You can't believe he just picked you up like a freaking bag of potatoes. Your stomach clenches uncomfortably from being head down, all the alcohol swimming in your stomach.
Met with his butt (not your fault that it's currently in the line of your vision and thanks to the position you're in), you start smacking repeatedly his lower back and butt, yelling for him to let you go. Or at least you think you're yelling but in reality, you're drunkenly blabbering and screeching with an awkward high-pitched voice.
Jungkook clenches his jaw when he feels you smacking his backside, your hands showing no mercy.
"I swear to god, you fucking let me down right now!" you yell, still smacking him. "I'm serious, Jeon. How dare you to just pick me up like I'm--"
You're immediately shut down when Jungkook's palm meets your ass, your jaw dropping as you halt all your movements. Did he just spank you? Well, it worked because you're too shocked to react in any way as the sting from his hand slowly fades away. You look almost like a doll, tossed limpily over his wide shoulder as if you weigh nothing.
And then it hits you.
"Did you just spank me?" You voice your thoughts, scolding him with a stern yet shocked voice.
You realize you've made it upstairs, Jungkook's steps confident and stable as he makes it into your room, shutting down the door with his leg as he gently kicks into it causing it to shut with a loud thud.
All you see is the back of his legs and soon after you're being tossed onto your bed. Your body bounces for a few seconds until it stops and you just lay there with a prominent scowl.
"You act like brat, you get treated like one." he says simply, frowning at you as he stands at the end of your bed, glancing down at you as you glare at him.
"Excuse me?" you exclaim, trying to sit up.
He raises a brow when he sees you slightly struggling and does nothing to help you. Instead, he crosses his arms over his chest as his button-up strains around his biceps.
Sitting up, you huff as you open your mouth, but instead of something getting out of it you just stare at Jungkook. He raises his brow again at you, knowing you're about to throw another set of insults and threats.
"I forgot what I was about to say." you murmur, snort leaving your lips as you start giggling at yourself.
Jungkook's corner of mouth twitches as he breathes out a chuckle. "You'll thank me tomorrow, trust me. You're already too drunk, you'd feel sick if you kept drinking more."
You both know you weren't about to stop, which is very irresponsible of you. You've always been the responsible one when it comes to partying and drinking. You knew your limit and even know, being drunk and getting tired, you can tell you've crossed that limit a long time ago. Your stomach feels weird, yet you don't feel like throwing up. But you know trying to eat something would just make you throw up for sure. Just the idea of food makes you want to gag.
"I was having fun," you pout, suddenly letting your body relax as your back hits the soft mattress. Arms above your head, you stare at the plain ceiling that you've grown so familiar with.
"I know," Jungkook gently says, crouching down as he starts taking off your heels. You let him, feeling his fingers brush against your skin every now and then while taking them off. Your ankles are free from the pressure and you sigh in relief as Jungkook stands up, causing you to glance at him with hooded eyes. "You're gonna be fine? I think you should sleep it off."
You just stare at him, his words not really dawning on you, at least not until he just gives you a nod (or more like to himself) as he turns around and you realize he's leaving.
"Kook, wait," you call out, rubbing your eyes and smudging your eye make-up without you realizing. But you do think about your make-up. "I need to take my make-up off."
Jungkook snorts but stays in his spot, not leaving. "You can just take it off tomorrow."
You let out a dramatic gasp. "You know I can't do that," you scold him, "My skin will look like hell tomorrow."
"I'm sure you'll feel like it too," he hums, but it goes unheard by you as you just sigh before trying to sit up all over again. Jungkook sees you struggling, sighing in frustration. "For fucks sake."
But two long strides towards you and he's back in front of you, reaching towards you to help you stand up. You stumble but he quickly catches you.
"Whoops," you grin stupidly before trying to brush past him.
You do eventually, not forgetting to bump into him in the process as you make it out of your room. Jungkook groans, rubbing his forehead frustratedly before he quickly goes to catch up with you. He almost sighs in relief when you're walking the opposite way of the party downstairs and actually walking towards the bathroom.
Jungkook follows you, urging you to sit up on the toilet but not before he quickly closes the lid. You listen to him, sitting there and watching him through hooded eyes as he's searching for make-up removal wipes. He finds them, not really sure who it belongs to but he doesn't care, opening it up.
He walks towards you, gently telling you to close your eyes as you do and he starts wiping off your make-up. He's gentle, too scared to hurt you and it probably takes him way more than it'd if you did it yourself, but unfortunately you're in no state to do that. You should probably take a shower to sober up but he's too scared to leave you alone in there, in case you slip up.
Surprisingly, you just sit there soundlessly, occasionally humming as he makes sure your face is make-up free. You should probably use some cleanser to make sure it's extra clean, but you seem too drunk and the last thing Jungkook wants is to bother you with not so important tasks. But he still leads you to a bathroom sink and washes your face with a slightly cold water which you start whining about, but he just shushes you and continues rubbing your face with his big palm.
Once he's done, he dries off your face with a soft small towel. You open your eyes, drunkenly staring at Jungkook before you start giggling out of nowhere. He doesn't question you, but he does find you amusing as he chuckles and tosses the towel away.
"Come on, let's sleep it off." He tries to take your hands but you pry them off.
"I need to take a shower." you point out, trying to reach for the hem of your dress to slip it off while Jungkook's eyes widen in panic. Out of all situations, now you decide to be responsible? He knows you wouldn't go to bed without washing yourself but he kind of hoped you're too drunk to even think about something like a shower.
"No, no, no," He tries to stop you, grabbing your hands. "You'll take a shower tomorrow."
You frown at that. "Huh? You expect me to go to bed without a shower?" you exclaim drunkenly, trying to reach for the hem again but Jungkook stops you once again.
"Listen, you're too drunk. You could easily slip up there, I'm not risking that."
Why is he even trying to reason with you? You're stubborn as hell, plus you're drunk which is not a good combination.
"You could just take one with me," you propose, bursting into a fit of giggles when you see Jungkook's not impressed look, his doe eyes widening. "Oh my god, I'm kidding. Loosen up!" you laugh, hiccuping a little before you push his firm chest.
"I took care of you when you were drunk," you tell him sassily, eyes hooded and hiccups making their way past your lips every few seconds. "I watched over you when you were taking a shower."
Yeah, the memory feels still fresh. Jungkook insisted you be there in case he'll slip up. It's funny how this situation is familiar but roles reversed.
"We were single back then," And fucking, "I've a girlfriend and you've a boyfriend."
"Do I?" you scoff bitterly, your grin falling just like that and it makes Jungkook curse at himself for mentioning it.
He wants to argue, tell you that he didn't break-up with you and there's nothing final yet. He doesn't want you to worry and be sad, but you're drunk and emotional. However, you just sigh and grab your toothbrush.
Jungkook stands there, watching you how you messily brush your teeth but he does help you with a toothpaste once he sees you almost using all of it and most of it falling into the sink. Once you're done, he uses that time to take you by your wrist and quickly lead you out of there.
On the way to your room, you start complaining about being dirty. God, you're so dramatic, Jungkook thinks as he listens to your drunken whines as he keeps tugging you to your room while you stumble every few seconds behind him.
"You're not dirty, Y/N." Jungkook grumbles, opening the door from your room.
"I am! I didn't take a shower!" you whine dramatically, pouting once you're in your room as Jungkook closes the door and turns to you.
He helps you take off your choker and earrings, putting them on your nightstand carefully.
"Y/N!" he screeches once he sees you slipping off your dress, revealing your exposed thighs and the hem of your lacy panties. "You can't just--"
He turns around, growing frustrated by you.
"Oh, come on, it's not like you haven't seen it all." He hears you snickering, rustling can be heard in the meantime.
"Now it's different," he complains, murmuring as he keeps his eyes on the wall. "Just tell me when you're done."
You don't reply, but he hears occasional grunts of annoyance and more rustling. His hands itching to help you but he knows it's for the best if he just stays standing here with his back turned to you. It's more about respect he has for you than anything else.
"Done." he hears you mumble.
He waits a few seconds before he cautiously turns around, not really sure if you're dressed up. For all he knows, you could be standing there star naked. Luckily, he's met with a sight of you in your pyjamas with your dress laying next to your feet.
You reach for it, wanting to fold it properly because you know you'd curse at yourself tomorrow morning if you wouldn't.
"I got it," he tells you, already reaching for the dress while trying to fold them neatly. "Go to bed." he tells you softly and surprisingly, you comply and you crawl on the bed until you make it to your pillows.
Jungkook snorts at the sight, "Such a baby." he mutters, placing your dress on top of a dresser.
He's about to turn off the lights, glancing at you to check on you, just to see you already laying underneath the duvet with head on the soft pillows. Your eyes are open though and you blink at the staring in thought.
You look cute but for some reason Jungkook feels sad. It's something about you just laying there with the cutest pout and unrecognizable look in your eyes.
But he turns off the lights, immediately hearing your protests.
"Kook," you whine, "I can't sleep."
That makes Jungkook chuckle as he makes his way towards the bed, sitting on the edge of it just beside you. The mattress dips underneath his weight and the scent of him invades your senses.
"You're already falling asleep." he chuckles silently, moonlight peeking from your unclosed blinds as he sees your features.
He brushes a few hair off your face, pushing the urge to poke your nose just to annoy you but he knows it's not the right time.
"No," you whine with closed eyes. "My stomach is so full. I don't feel good." you complain silently.
"Do you want me to get you a bucket just in case? Think you're gonna throw up?"
Even in your state you recognize the worry in his voice and how alarmed he seems to be. That makes you smile but even the littlest movement of your lips make you feel as if you're running a marathon. Jungkook is right, you're already falling asleep but there's something keeping you away from it, and that's the amount of alcohol in your stomach.
"No," you answer. "Can you rub my back?"
Jungkook chuckles, nose scrunched cutely at your request.
The muted sounds of bass and music can be heard, but to be honest, Jungkook doesn't really feel like joining there even though he knows he'll have to go downstairs at some point.
Okay, he'll stay until you fall asleep so he can be sure you're alright.
"Alright, turn over." he tells you and you happily giggle, turning your back towards him.
He snorts and starts rubbing your back gently.
"Mmm, that feels good." He hears you muffle into your pillow, muscles relaxing almost instantly.
"Kook," you whisper just when he thinks you already fell asleep. He hums in return, waiting for you to continue which takes a moment. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
He knows, he freaking knows but for some reason he asks and wants to hear you say it.
"I acted like a bitch," you tell him, suddenly plopping on your back as you look at him with half-closed eyes. "I was angry."
"I know," Jungkook murmurs, features softening as he places his hands on his lap while staring at you.
"I'm sad," you inform him with a whisper and he swears he feels like his heart has just cracked.
"I know that too," he offers softly, surprised when you messily try to reach for one of his hands.
Once you do, you squeeze his hand as you bring it to your stomach where you hold it with your both hands.
"And I'm hurt." This time Jungkook squeezes your hand.
"I know," he whispers, "But I'm here."
"I know," you smile, "I love you, Kook," you murmur sleepily.
"Say it back." you demand childishly which makes him snort.
"I love you too, you little brat." he says, amusement and a grin still heard in his voice.
You hum in content, suddenly turning the way you were before – with your back turned back to him. "Rub my back, please."
He laughs silently, front teeth peeking through his lips as he complies and continues to rub your back gently.
He's sure it's not even a minute after when you still stay in the same position not moving. He stops rubbing your back, waiting for you to scold him and tell him to continue but all he's met with is your soft breaths leaving your mouth. Once he leans towards you to check on you, he sees your eyes closed already dreaming.
He chuckles, brushing some of those restless waves off your face before he stands up – ready to go back downstairs to call it a night. But not before he makes sure there's a bucket beside your bed which he brings from the bathroom just in case. And he doesn't leave before checking on you one last time, assuring everyone you're okay, already taken care of and sleeping when he makes it downstairs and Jimin almost jumps on him to ask about you.
And Taehyung would do the same, if he wasn't passed out on the couch. But the night doesn't end for Jungkook there, especially when Jimin asks him to help him to get Taehyung to their room.But he does it with no complaints because... what wouldn't he do for his friends?
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meo-on-prairie · 1 year ago
Text
Deserve Better
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Prompt: After a shitty breakup, involving a douchebag of an ex, who makes you realize he never loved you to begin with. You went to your best friends for comfort, but instead of telling you “you deserve better”, they show you the best you deserve. 
Word count: 1786
Tags: FLUFF, a tablespoon of Angst, hurt and comfort, Gojo and Getou being sweetest boys, satosugu established, satorugu x reader not yet, mention of: manipulation and love bombing.
Rambling: This is an extremely self-indulgence fic, heavily inspired by my shitty ex lmao. I just wanna be sandwich between Gojo and Getou to comfort my angry heart :((. This is a mini series, I wanna able to make this series to be compose of a bunch of stand-alone fics that merge together. This is my first time writing after a long while so… 
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“He was a pathetic liar!” you shout as soon as Suguru opens the door. Tears are streaming down your faces and you can’t seem to make them stop. The sight of your face full of anger and sorrow quite nearly broke Suguru’s heart. Oh, how he wished he could erase your pain. Not make your pain go away, no, he wanted to erase it from your life completely.
Satoru walks toward the door after hearing the loud commotion, “what did he do this time?” he said knowing exactly who was responsible for your tears. With all honesty, Satoru is only asking for your sake, if he could have it his way, violence is always the answer.
Satoru and Suguru are used to this, it’s been 2 years of this clockwork. Ever Since you start dating your pathetic boyfriend, Anthon, it been a cycle of you venting to them about your relationship problem, them telling you to break up with the fucker, and you “work it out” with the douchebag, who can only tell lies and empty promises, the next day and all is good for about 1 month. It’s the same cycle of them clearly seeing that you are being manipulated, yet unable to do anything. But then again, what can they do? They’re only your friends, nothing more even if they want to be more, and as friends, the only thing they can do is be there for you.
Anthon was your first love, your glasses were not tinted, it was dyed rose-pink. You loved him with everything you got, always there to support him mentally, emotionally, and even sometimes financially. In return, he would love-bomb you with constant, nonstop, overly cheesy affectionate words. He also made a lot of promises to you: of marriage, of spoiling you, of being a better man for you, of being faithful to you; all of which are empty and meaningless in hindsight. They’re so meaningless in fact that it led you to break-up with him 2 weeks ago.
You were tired of his empty words, so you laid down your boundary, you told him you would never want to marry someone who refuses to find a job to support themselves. His answer? “Why can’t you be nicer about these things? Your words cut deep”. Anthon was a man of nothing, he had nothing but his words, and even then he couldn't even keep them. But you loved him, so you put it all aside, all his actions, all his shortcomings, his unwillingness to change for himself; you put it all aside and waited with baited breath, surely, surely…. Surely he’ll do as he said. He never did. 
“Come in first, the night is cold, I don’t want you to get sick” Suguru ushers you through the door and into their apartment. As Suguru guided you toward their living room, Satoru went into the kitchen to grab some tissues, water, and something for you to eat your feelings away. 
As soon as your body touched the soft velvet material of their couch, you crumbled into Suguru’s arms. He pulls you in closer to his body as yours shakes and heaves, you two sit like that for what feels like an eternity as you let the tears that carry your pain and sorrows fall from your eyes. Your hands balls up Suguru’s shirt as you cry in his embrace, you try to control your sob but it only makes your body shakes harder, almost hyperventilating.
“Shhhh, take your time, let it out. I’m here… we’re here… we’re not goin’ anywhere”
“He said he loves me! He said he wanted to marry me! And not even 2 weeks after our breakup, he’s getting his dick wet and telling another girl he loves her!” you choked out in anguish, still in denial that any of this is real.
“How did you find out about that?” Satoru asked, carrying a tray full of food; after hearing your sobs, he decided that a few snacks wasn’t going to cut it. 
“Because the fucker doesn’t even have the decency to keep it private, he been posting her all over his social media!” you swipe out your phone in frustration, pulling up Anthon’s account to show your two best friends the picture of your ex and the girl sitting on his lap, kissing. 
They both make a face when you show them the picture, “gross” they said in unison as Satoru places the tray on the table and sits down on your other side.
“I’m just so angry, I can’t believe I wasted 2 years loving someone who never was truthful to me! How can I be so stupid?” your tears are boiling hot, they feel like acid on your skin.
“Hey, hey, look at me, you’re not stupid for simply loving someone.” Satoru cups your face with his hands, nudging you to face him, his thumbs gently wiping away your tears. You close your eyes and feel the warmth of his hands. It’s comforting to be held so gently.
“That’s right, don’t shame yourself for being strong enough to love someone with all you got. That’s a strength, not a weakness.” Suguru agrees, pulling a couple of tissues from the box and handing it to you. 
You take the tissues from him to wipe away the tears and blow your nose, it was getting a little hard to breathe from crying, “Thank you… It just hurt realizing that even though I loved him, he never loved me; at least, I don’t think someone who loves me would go out of their way to hurt me like this. Him posting her and rubbing it in my face not even 2 weeks later makes me feel like… I just wasn't worth loving…”
“You’re right, someone that loves you wouldn’t hurt you like he did. But that doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. To us, you’re worth all the love this world has to offer…” Suguru whispers, placing his hand on your shoulder, and he means it. God, does he mean it. Satoru can see it in his partner’s eyes, the same feelings he has.
Satoru and Suguru have loved each other deeply since they were kids, but they always feel something is missing in their relationship. When you walt into their life when they were 15 through the door call “physic group project”, they thought something was wrong with them. They still very clearly love each other, their love is still burning, but their hearts forget how to beat when you smile at them.
How can they not fall for you? You’re kind, so kind you would push aside your shyness and discomfort to help those that need it. You’re intelligent, you quite literally carried them through that physics group project. And dear god, the way you just fit perfectly into their dynamic makes them realize very quickly that they desperately want you to be a part of their life. So desperately, they couldn’t bring themselves to tell you about their feelings in fear of scaring you away from them forever.
“Tell you what? Let’s watch some true crime documentary that you like so much since you’re secretly a sociopath, maybe they’ll give you the inspiration of what to do for revenge?” Satoru said with a smirk.
“If inspiration striked you, we’ll be your executioners.” Suguru added, smiling in relief seeing that you're feeling better after letting it all out. You let out a small giggle and nod. 
Satoru turns on the TV and searches for “Unsolved” while Suguru goes to grab the three of you a blanket. When Suguru comes back with the blanket, you get comfortable cuddling between the two of them on the couch. Between Satoru’s jokes about how if he was the detective case wouldn’t have gone cold, and Suguru’s soft chuckles of ‘sure babe’ at his boyfriend’s comment,you start to feel a lot better. 
You have always felt the most at home with them. It felt natural to be with them, Satoru’s humor brings laughter into your day, Suguru’s gentleness makes you feel safe. They ground you. You’re starting to wonder why you were even with the dirtbag when you have best friends who show you how you should be treated. But before you can think more on that, drowsiness takes over you.
It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep. With how hard you were crying and the emotional turmoil you experienced, it would be more surprising if you stayed awake. Satoru looks over to the sight of your sleeping face. He squeezed Suguru’s hand he been holding behind you on the headrest of the couch.
Suguru looks over at Satoru and notices where his gaze was directed at. “I don’t want to see her like that again. She deserves all the sunshines life has got to offer, not heartbreak” Satoru whispered softly. 
“Do… you think⸻” Suguru started
“Yeah.” 
It’s a silent agreement between them. They’re done with watching you on the sideline. They’re done with seeing you in pain. They don’t want to be afraid of losing you anymore if it means they have to leave your happiness in the hands of some other dudes that’s not them. In the hands of someone that doesn’t know how to cherish it like they do. 
Suguru gives Satoru’s hand 3 long squeezes, I love you. A soft and silent affection flows between them. You always joke that they’re each other's twin flames due to how they seem to be sharing the same soul; their ideology, way of thinking, even how they feel. They’re so similar despite different personalities it’s uncanny. But they think that if they’re each other’s twin flame, then you would be their soulmate. 
They let go of each other's hands so Satoru can carry you into their guest’s room. Well, they call it that but the color and decorations they have in it are all catered to your liking, plus no one beside you ever stays the night anyway. 
Suguru opens the door to the room for Satoru. They laid you down and tucked you in. 
Suguru went into the bathroom to get a damp face towel. He softly wipes away your streaks of tears so you can sleep comfortably without feeling the stickiness from your tears. 
They closed the door as quietly as possible so they don’t wake you, not before glancing at you one last time. 
Looking at each other, eyes full of love and determination, they silently vow to each other. They’re going to make you fall, sweep you right off your feet. They’ll treat you like you’re their most prized treasure. You’ll fall for them so hard, you’ll forget you’ve ever loved anyone but them.
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