#and calling yourself femme while in a straight relationship is mildly odd to me but who gives a shit
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you ever read certain people's takes on gender or gender expression, and you can't get past two sentences without rolling your eyes and mentally thinking shut the fuck up. like, repeatedly.
#its always so fascinating to me when people will argue for the expansiveness of butch/femme without seeming to be able to engage with the#like actual material reality of butch/fem relationships in the 40s.#like it was incredibly culturally & class and time specific.#i would argue that these conditions straight up don't exist anymore so who give a shit#(straight people do not get to have anything)#but the way ppl will cite those facts as a way to be mad at lesbians is so. my god.#anyway femme4femme gives me masc4masc vibes if im being honest#and calling yourself femme while in a straight relationship is mildly odd to me but who gives a shit#and the ballroom scene can do whatever they want idgaf#but the collapsing of the ballroom usage of butch & femme into the usage by lesbians just because they're the same words is fucking annoying#they aren't the same thing. and the arguments for expansiveness seem to always miss the historical context.#but also reading some writings on being femme in the 90s is tiring. like girl. can we move past visibility and validity as discursive topics#like its always this odd self-centered navel gazing that seems to just be embedded in lesbian/sapphic writing communities and im like. bruh.#please get some real problems.#honestly at this point the term identity gives me hives.#like is the argument around who can use the terms really the peak of the activism we can be doing here.#its always yelling at lesbians know your history bitch because we're uniquely uptight or something and i am sooooooo over it#about me
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