#and by that I mean apple is taking out Al of his internalized homophobia and transphobia on melody and melody desperately doesn’t want to

[arolesbianism]

It’s ok, we always work things out in the end (lying)

[localbadfeminist]

The Ugly F Word

Through gritted teeth, a bittersweet tone spits out one of the most disgusting words known to humanity on the television and it’s through the television that individuals learn their first experience with the word. Feminism. A vivid picture often follows the word when tossed around media of women who are “angry, unshaven, dykes, bitchy, man-hating, and aggressive” (Saraswati, et al. 2). Fortunately for myself I was raised dominantly by my single mother who wasn’t an advocate for feminism but is a model that women can accomplish anything such as raising children and maintaining a full-time job to pay for our basic needs. I knew my mother fit into the thoughts of feminism as she was a woman who didn’t need a man in her life. My mother is a strong-willed individual who went into work five days a week for eight hours each day to provide for my sister and me. Not only did my mother work, but also, she kept the house clean, cooked dinner every night and made sure that my sister and I were well. My mother is a role model to my sisters and me even if I don’t completely agree with my mother on everything, but she was my first experience of feminism. Never once did I believe in the media’s portrayal of a “feminist” with a woman foaming at the mouth with aggression, preaching on how men are the root cause of evil. Although, I didn’t completely understand the complex nature of feminism either and the broad range that it encompasses until my Introduction to Women’s Studies course which I had taken as a flyer had captured my attention when strolling the halls of my college campus. I entered the classroom with an open mind and felt excitement course through me as it was a subject that I felt I could educate myself more on, but I wasn’t prepared to learn the truth about feminism. The ugly truth about feminism that the patriarchy doesn’t want individuals to know is feminism isn’t solely about women.

A System of Oppression and Privilege

Feminism was created as an outcry from women for equality in comparison to men who were able to vote, own property and work while women were expected to be housewives who cooked, cleaned, raised the children and cater to their man upon his arrival home from work. The movement worked as our society allowed women to vote, own property and work even if it means being paid less as stated within the Bureau of Labor statistics where “In 2017, women’s earnings ranged from 77 to 81 percent of men’s among workers aged 35 and older” (Bureau of Labor). The statistics show a wage gap between women and men, but it doesn’t merely stop with gender as the wage gap isn’t only influenced by gender, but regard ethnicity as a factor in the wage gap as well. The Bureau of Labor reports that a median weekly income for a Caucasian woman without deductions such as taxes earns $795 in comparison to her fellow African American sister who merely makes a total of $657. Our fellow sisters are oppressed not only because they are women but also, because of the color of their skin and quite a few feminists don’t even know the word intersectionality which I happened to be one of them until I opened the textbook and read the first assigned reading for my Introduction to Women’s Studies. Within the textbook,

Intersectionality references the two-fold idea that people’s identities are complex, often not fitting easily into distinct social categories of gender, race, class and sexuality, and that sexism, racism, classism, homophobia, ableism, religious persecution, and nationalism are interlocking systems of oppression that shape our lives and social institutions” (Qtd. Saraswati, et al. 13)

The patriarchy has a clear definition of what part of an individual’s identities grant privilege and which grants oppression. As an example, I’ll use myself as I’m a Caucasian, genderfluid individual whose sexual orientation is Asexual Panromantic. I’m privileged because I’m Caucasian and therefore will be given special privileges in comparison to an African American woman who will face oppression not only for her gender identity but her ethnicity as well. As someone who is deeply embedded into the LGBTQ+ community with my identity, I’m oppressed as society has yet to understand and even accept my labels. Instead, I’m often told that there’s something wrong with me and I need to be fixed simply because they can’t comprehend my labels. As a movement, feminism’s core ideas of equality for women is wonderful, but it simply isn’t just about women as our identities tie into the system of oppression and privilege. If tomorrow came where the wage gap ceased to exist and equality came for men and women, then the only ones benefiting from that would be certain women as racism, homophobia, classism, nationalism, and ableism will continue to persist. Lorde within her article of “There Is No Hierarchy of Oppressions” states “I simply do not believe that one aspect of myself can profit from the oppression of any other part of my identity” (Lorde 76). Lorde’s statement is powerful as stated above if women were to become privileged, then Lorde cannot benefit as another part of her identity will be oppressed. Simply put, feminism isn’t just about women, but our identities which face oppressions and privilege from the patriarchy.

The True Ugliness of Feminism

Before enrolling into my Introduction to Women’s Studies class, before I had even attended my first semester of college and before I sought out help for my mental health, I was just an average person who worked part-time while suffering in silence. I spent most of my time on the computer on various websites trying to ease the internal storm inside my own head and one of those websites was Tumblr. I scrolled to find posts about individuals calling themselves “feminist” but foaming at the mouth and declaring that all men were complete garbage. These posts claimed that women were the superior gender which made my stomach turn in disgust. I understand being frustrated with the patriarchy and being told that being female made us inferior to the males around us, but why would someone wish oppression upon someone else? We’ve suffered for decades and continue to suffer as our voices cry out in outrage and yet, there are individuals who feel the need to continue the system of oppression and privilege? These individuals want to switch the roles and I cannot help but want to distance myself from these women. In fact, I’ve seen posts of individuals stating they weren’t feminist solely because they wanted to create a distance between themselves and these individuals who wanted to continue to support the system. I’ve seen individuals state they weren’t feminist but advocate for gender equality and it’s due to the ugliness that comes with the movement. Every movement, every group, and even families have the bad apples that can ruin special moments, but it doesn’t mean the entire movement, group or family is wicked. When I see individuals, who call themselves “feminist” but attack men solely for the fact that they are men well, it leaves me with a rage that wants me to comment on their post. I want to correct them as they aren’t feminist, but I remain civil. I scroll past the post that will continue to surface to my head every few minutes for the next few days as I feel an itch and I simply never knew what to do to satisfy that itch until now. Feminism can be a beautiful movement that can work to change what oppresses individuals, but as a movement with millions of individuals, then a couple of bad apples will come from the shadows and attempt to sink the movement downwards into the depths of darkness. In this moment of darkness, it’s easy to distance oneself from the movement, but feminism can no longer have everyone jumping the ship. It’s time that we took control of the movement and own up to the fact that our movement isn’t perfect. The feminist movement has never been perfect. A stand needs to be taken, and the word feminist needs to be reclaimed from those who have ruined its image. A movement focused on intersectionality more, and one that isn’t focused on men being the enemy as women can harm women just as much as men can. Hand in hand, our voices must be heard over those who take the term feminist and make it the ugly word that’s broadcasted on the media daily in an attempt to ruin the public image of a movement that started for equality of women to men. It’s Feminism, and it’s time to make the word beautiful.

Citation/Sources

Audre, Lorde. “There Is No Hierarchy Of Oppression.” L. Ayu Saraswati, et al, pp. 76. “Highlights of Women's Earnings in 2017 : BLS Reports.” U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 1 Aug. 2018, www.bls.gov/opub/reports/womens-earnings/2017/home.htm. L. Ayu Saraswati, et al., editors. Introduction to Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies Reader: Intersectional and Interdisciplinary Approaches. Oxford, 2017. “Women's and Men's Earnings by Age in 2016.” U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 25 Aug. 2017, www.bls.gov/opub/ted/2017/womens-and-mens-earnings-by-age-in-2016.htm.