#and berating himself for telling on himself to melinoe

[jacqcrisis]

Charmes idea that for centuries, Charon and Hermes had a casual sort of deal going on that Hermes first proposed since they're both busy so why not be professional associates with benefits? Mutually beneficial and all, just a way to let off steam. Doesn't have to mean anything and it didn't as he's visit, drop off souls and contraband, chat Charon's ear off, hopefully get taken to pound town if the boatman was in the mood, and theyd part the same as they came together. Except as time goes on, it absolutely does start to mean more to Hermes but he holds it back and ignores it because why would he ruin this thing they've got going on with a big ole crush that Charon probably doesn't reciprocate?

And maybe he does pretend a little bit that it means something more in the moment. In those rare occasions when his stalwart ferryman does not immediately stiffen in the afterglow and send him off as there is work to be done. When Charon holds him for a time, ringed fingers gentle in his hair and his feathers as they rest and Hermes can pretend it has meaning beyond a brash agreement.

Then all the stuff with Chronos happens and they dont get see each other anymore for anything, not the friendship or business or pleasure and the distance and the time apart has made him realize how deep that little crush has truly turned. And by god, is it hurting him; Hermes' thoughts drifting often to Charon, about the time they spent together, hoping he isn't lonely, that he's doing okay, thinking all the things he would say that he wasn't brave enough to before, and why oh why didn't he when he had the chance...

But there's always doubt. Always a chance Charon wouldn't see him the same, yet the thought of just returning to how they were fills him with the same kind of dread as Charon rejecting him if things return to normal. So inbetween zipping around being a sneaky little shit, he's wallowing in his feelings like a lovesick puppy missing his not-so professional associate and dreaming of returning to Charon's embrace with love on his lips and the sentiment returned in kind.