#and being legal to drink. not that i will bc alcohol is nasty but like. i Can soon which is neat. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

missfeisty199 · 5 years

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(FriendlypackDadsAU) They finally tell Tessa about Slim when she turns 18. Due to the sensitivity of the topic, and the... very adult aspect of it, they wait until she's of age. She asks about "Uncle Slim" and Stan and Jimmy take the time to sit down with her and have a very serious talk about J's past. It's hard, and J does most of the talking. By the end, Tess HATES Slim for what he did to her father. By this point, J's healthier physically and mentally, but Tess needs to know about it

and when I say "by this point, Jimmy is healthier", I mean like, Stan encouraged him to go to therapy, and his life has improved a lot. By the time Tess is 18, Jimmy's perfectly free of drugs, and all around better. He still has anxiety, and a few other issues, but hes much better

(^ i wasn't sure if this was part of the ask or not but i hope you don’t mind me adding it on here :3)

Yeah, I agree Jimmy and Stan wait until Tessa is way older, so 18 years old seems like a good age to do it.

I imagine Slim and Tessa don’t interact all the much at this point bc 1) Slim is a pimp and he is a busy man asdqsrd, and 2) Tess is now 18 years old, aka the age of consent, so Jimmy and Stan make ABSOLUTE sure Tess doesn’t fall for any tricks Slim may pull.

I picture when Tess brings “Uncle Slim” up and is like “Alright, you two said when I got older you would tell me more about Uncle Slim. Now that I’m 18, I want to know everything.”

So Stan and Jimmy look at each other before sighing and having her sit down and get comfy, because it’s going to be a LONG and very detailed story, and they warn her that some parts are going to get nasty. Stan even brings in some tea and cookies he’s made to make the situation somewhat better.

Obviously, Jimmy does most of the talking. “So there I was, one sunny day in Los Santos many, many years ago, a bit before I met your father. My hair wasn’t even this style, it was brown and short, kinda like a shaved buzz cut sort of hair-”

“Gosh darn it, Jimothy! Stop stalling and get on with the story!” Stan groans.

“I’m getting to it!” Jimmy says. “Anyways, I had no vehicle available to me, so I was running down the street to get a new ID because I somehow lost it. T-that was w-when I met...I met...who you call Uncle Slim. His real name is Alabaster Slim...and he was..and STILL is...a pimp.”

I imagine Slim never tells Tess his line of work, so Tess is surprised when Jimmy tells her the truth. “A PIMP???? So that’s why he has a nice car and a fur coat.”

Jimmy continues on with the story. “He pulled up to me in his car, stopping me in my tracks, and yells out to me. Telling me how good-looking I was and if I was in search of making some good money, which I actually was at the time. He actually hires me right then and there without any interview, so that should’ve been my first instinct but I didn’t care at the time because I was desperate.”

He then goes on to give her ALL of the gritty details; Slim slapping Jimmy with baby powder multiple times, Slim abducting Jimmy by distracting the cops with a baby powder grenade, Slim shoving a loaded gun into Jimmy’s mouth TWICE and threatening him if he was to ever disrespect Slim again, Slim forcing him to have sex with clients who were rough and evil to Jimmy and even underpaying him sometimes, some of the clients even hitting Jimmy and leaving him with many bruises and scars and trauma, and Slim even ignoring Jimmy’s pleas to get him checked out at a hospital, etc.

Stan even gets into the conversation and says that he saw Slim slap Jimmy with baby powder RIGHT in front of him, and Slim even insults Stan’s water business. He even tells of the many sleepless nights where Jimmy would be having nightmares and shaking in Stan’s arms because of everything Slim as put Jimmy through. There were also the times Stan had to hold Jimmy down and lock the apartment doors because Jimmy was going through major Stockholm Syndrome and needed drugs and crimes to ease the pain. It was just not a happy time.

They shift the story by saying that eventually, Jimmy was able to slowly break free from all of that by getting more well-known jobs like being a security guard and doing truck runs. Stan would even hold his hand while Jimmy went to therapy sessions and show him legal ways to get his fix of adrenaline and cope with trauma. Now Jimmy is healthier in every way; he gained back a little bit of weight due to losing some from drugs, he doesn’t drink alcohol as much nor does drugs all the time, the bruises have healed and his skin is clean, and even works out at the beach to relieve stress.

Stan and Jimmy end the story, and they see that Tess is FUCKING FUMING. Like her hands are shaking and she’s taking short breaths. They don’t blame her, she has every right to be angry. They even tell her its okay for her to feel angry with Slim. “Do you understand now why we don’t like you hanging around him?”

“Yeah.....I.....I FUCKING HATE SLIM! I NEVER WANT TO FUCKING TALK TO THAT ASSHOLE EVER AGAIN! HE CAN ROT IN HELL FOR ALL I CARE!” Tess realizes that she cussed, which is a no-no with Stan, and she’s like “I-I’m sorry, Dad. I-I just got so angry.”

Stan is understanding though. “Eh, understandable right now. You are 18 years old now after all.”

From then on, I picture Tessa avoiding Slim now, doesn’t even look his way.

#long reply #asks #gay-spaghetti #friendlypack dad au

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drawacharge · 6 years

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emperor’s new clothes

ok so hi. this has been sitting in my drafts for a .... while. and i’m gonna’ post it bc it’s long lmao. i also had an idea for a valentine’s day esque nsfw sequel to this but idk?? btw, just a warning-- this is in steve’s pov and billy’s pov is my comfort zone so if it sucks Sorry

There’s something about almost dying too many times that makes the rest of the world around you seem minuscule. It makes school even more boring than before, it makes sleeping a distant memory, and pure, genuine laughter harder to come by. There are too many days Steve spends in class, the teacher droning on and on about Darwin and Natural Extinction Theory and all he wants to do is stand up and go, “Do you have any idea what’s out there? We’re in here, studying bullshit, and out there, right now, are things that wanna’ kill us, that know how, that will—“ but he doesn’t, because he signed too many legal wavers to count, because if he does they’d just throw him into a mental facility. So he sits and stays quiet instead, swallowing back all his anxiety and fear of the unknown and known, sleep-deprived eyes staring out the nearest window as if he expects something nasty with claws to walk on by.

Nothing ever does. Jane closed the gate.

Somehow, that’s worse.

Everyone else seems happy with the peace. The kids smile and laugh and ask Steve to take them to the arcade constantly. Nancy has never seemed happier, walking hand in hand with Jonathan. Jane has more freedom that she’s ever had, visiting her friends, learning about the world. Joyce and Hopper get closer every day, enjoying each other’s company, maybe even finding solace in it. Maybe that’s part of it. Maybe the kids use each other to deal with their shit. Maybe Nancy and Jonathan use each other too. They’ve all been through hell, the only difference was after it was all said and done Steve was the only one left completely alone.

He feels dead. He thinks, maybe, he’s felt wrong since the first time he took that bat to the Demogorgon, but this is different. Worse. He doesn’t feel like anything. He doesn’t feel angry, or sad, or even really scared, not anymore. There’s nothing there. And maybe that’s the only thing nowadays that actually scares him: the fact that nothing does.

It’s mid-January when he finally decides to do something about it. When the emptiness gets so bad he almost skips an entire week of school. When Mrs. Leery, his English teacher, calls him over after class and says, “Steve, your grade has been going steadily downhill. Is anything the matter?” with an expression so soft and concerned, that all Steve can manage is a tight smile and a, “Just tired,” before giving some half-assed promise that he’d try harder.

He does try too. He’s been trying since the beginning of fucking November. But he falls asleep when he should be reading Of Mice and Men, and it’s not even that boring of a book. He knows something has to change, that something in him is broken and he needs to fix it before he’s nothing but some vague shadow of what he used to be.

Steve realizes just how he’s going to do that when he’s getting the mail one day. Billy Hargrove speeds by in his Camaro, probably going twenty over the speed limit, Tommy, Carol, and two other girls hanging out of the Camaro whooping, hollering, and laughing as the wind whips through them. Steve thinks he’s never seen a group of people seem so alive. He remembers when that used to be him driving, him hanging out the window, him laughing. It was a shallow happiness, perhaps, but it was happiness.

And he decides he wants that back

He knows where to start, and it’s not hard. Steve’s known Tommy since before puberty, and he knows that even if Tommy feels sorry for something he’ll never apologize first. Every fight they’ve ever had has led to Steve outside his door, an apology on his lips. Only then does Tommy apologize too and only then do they move the fuck on. Steve hopes that, even after a year of not speaking, that fact hasn’t changed.

He brings beer with him, just in case.

Tommy opens the door on the third knock and scowls when he sees Steve. Then he sees the beer and the scowl shifts, eyebrows raising in interest. “Want something?”

“To apologize,” he holds out the beer immediately, offers a halfhearted smile. “I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat that day. You were—“ in his own way “—you were trying to have my back.” And he really was, Steve knew that. Maybe not in the best way, maybe not in the nicest way, but he was.

There’s a long pause where Tommy just eyes him, like he’s considering, and then he reaches out for the beer and steps aside, wordlessly inviting Steve in. “Yeah, well… I coulda’ handled it better,” he’s grumbling, words half muttered. If Steve wasn’t an expert in Tommy Language he’d have to ask him to repeat himself. “I woulda’ been pissed if you’d said all that shit about Carol too, just—“ he takes a breath, starts walking towards the steps to the basement where they’d always hang out. “—I knew she wasn’t fucking good enough for you man. I knew she’d hurt you.”

And.

That’s fair too, honestly. Tommy had known what kind of person Steve could be. How sensitive. How trusting. People assume their friendship had been shallow, but it really hadn’t been. Not always. Steve still remembered the way Tommy cried on his shoulder when they were kids and his dog was hit by a car. There was meaning there. Trust.

They’re down stairs and Steve is cracking open two cans, holding one out when he goes, “Guess I should’ve listened to you,” before downing about half of it in one go. Tommy follows suit and wipes his mouth before glancing over his shoulder and then back at Steve, a grin pulling at his lips.

“How about I kick your ass at air hockey again? That always cheers you up.”

“Pretty sure that cheers you up,” Steve says, and Tommy laughs. “But sure, why not.”

Steve loses, five to two, but he feels like he’s won anyway.

Billy Hargrove quickly becomes his main problem. Of course, Steve knew he would be before he even found himself on Tommy’s doorstep. Billy did not like him, and the feeling was mutual. They had barely talked since the incident at the Byers’ and Steve was happy with that. He could handle the sneers and even the shoving during basketball. Billy had laid off the kids for the most part and that’s all that mattered to him.

Luckily, Tommy has more sway with Billy than Steve originally thought. He assumed their friendship was more symbiotic than anything. Billy claimed the crown that had been abandoned, and Tommy found it easier to follow than not. It was a familiar position for him, after all. But it seemed like a little more than that. When Tommy invites him over to eat with them that Monday, Steve’s actually surprised that Billy allows it. That he frowns, but otherwise ignores Steve, keeping his attention on the rest of the team. He doesn’t look at Steve again for the rest of lunch.

It’s not good enough.

For it to really be right, or this to work, Billy has to like him. Steve isn’t sure how to accomplish that, hell, he isn’t even sure if he wants to, but it’s necessary.

He starts with buying them all alcohol. He pays for the booze, the weed, offers up his giant, empty house and heated pool. It’s how he woo’d Carol, even Tommy when they were kids ( minus the alcohol and weed ), and most of anyone else at school. He thinks it’ll work on Billy too.

It doesn’t.

Billy drinks his booze, and he smokes his weed, and he swims in his pool. But when it’s all said and done he still sneers at Steve, still ignores him at lunch, still checks him too hard at practice and mocks him in the middle of random conversations.

“He’s a fucking asshole,” Steve grumbles one night, laid out on the couch in Tommy’s basement. His head is in Carol’s lap and she’s playing with his hair. It’s nice. Not something he’s had since Nancy. He missed it.

Also, they’re all really fucking high. He missed that too. Getting high with his friends.

“I’ve tried to be friendly, even after the bullshit he pulled--”

Everyone knows that they fought. Or at least, they figured they did since Steve showed up to school that Monday looking like he got hit by a truck, and Billy showed up with a black eye and busted knuckles. It didn’t take long for the student body to put two and two together and guess who won.

“I don’t think he’s impressed by money,” Tommy says from the floor. He’s leaning back against the couch, head on the cushion, and a joint between his lips. “I mean, he’s poor as shit,” he continues bluntly, “like Byers level poor.” Steve shoots him a look and Tommy holds a hand up in mild surrender. He doesn’t see why Steve is protective of them, especially after Jonathan and Nancy, but he’s gotten better about how he talks about them anyway.

“Wouldn’t that make him like... want to be around it?” Carol questions. It’s a natural conclusion for three well-off teens to come to, but Steve’s learned enough over his last year of bettering himself to know that’s not always true. He thinks maybe Tommy has a point.

“You should like. Be real with him.” He leans his head further back until the back of it is leaning against Steve’s knee. “I don’t think he likes bullshit.”

Steve thinks about that night at the Byers’ and how Billy seemed furious that Steve lied about Max being there. He thinks about Nancy going you’re bullshit and wonders if maybe she wasn’t that far off. After all, he spent an entire year pretending everything was okay, and before that he pretended like having absentee parents didn’t bother him. Hell, he still did that sometimes.

“No bullshit,” Steve sighs, and reaches for the joint when Tommy offers it out. “I can do that.”

Tommy throws a party that next weekend. It’s his and Carol’s anniversary so they celebrate it in the way they know best: by making everyone else celebrate for them. They get booze and pot and set the house up so that all of Tommy’s mom’s breakables are hidden away. Billy arrives thirty minutes before the party dressed to the nines and with a keg. Steve wonders how he can stand wearing an open shirt in fucking January but doesn’t bother asking.

Six hours later the party is headed into the A.M. and Steve’s completely fucking wasted when he beats Billy as beer pong and grins like he won Olympic gold. Billy looks just about ready to kill him, and Steve can tell he’s significantly less drunk than him and wonders why since Billy always seems to get shit-faced at these kinds of things.

Billy leaves to grab a smoke outside, and Steve-- in all his drunken genius-- decides this is the best time to approach him.

It’s not.

There’s something dangerous in Billy’s eyes when he sizes him up, something that reminds Steve of that night, something wild. He asks what the fuck Billy’s problem with him is anyway, and Billy grins in the kind of way that reminds Steve of a shark. He gets real close, encroaching on Steve’s personal space, and he can’t help but think about Darwin and the Natural Extinction Theory. How man is just stupid enough to kill itself. How, right now, Steve is the perfect fucking example of that.

“My problem with you,” Billy breathes, right in his face, smelling like beer and cigarettes, “is that you’re a little spoiled rich boy who’s used to getting everything he wants.” Steve opens his mouth to argue, to say that if he really got everything he wanted he’d still have Nancy and not nightmares. That he’d have parents who loved him and a father who didn’t think he was a failure. But, Billy continues. “And now, what? You’ve decided you wanna’ be king again, yeah? That it? Make Hill think you give a shit about him--”

“I do.”

“Bullshit,” Billy snarls, flecks of spit hitting Steve in the face, almost making him flinch. “Your girl dumped you for a freak and now you’re desperate for friends and fans again. So, here you are, making nice, buying them whatever they want just so they’ll like you--”

“Fuck you,” he hisses back, “I’m not. I missed Tommy and Carol--” and he had, in the same weird way they had probably missed him. “--you’re just their baggage I have to deal with.” It’s fucked up. He knows it’s fucked up as soon as he says it, nasty and not what Steve meant to do when he came out here. And it gets him punched in the face.

No surprise there.

He probably deserves it.

Steve reels back, his jaw fucking aching, and Billy prowls in close, grinning wide like a great white, like he had that night. He must not expect Steve to hit back, because the punch actually lands and Billy looks fucking surprised when he rights himself.

“Is that you’re fucking problem?” Steve demands, filling the space Billy had stumbled back out of. “You think I wanna’ be king again? That I’m gonna’ push you out--”

Billy laughs, “You couldn’t even if you wanted to.” But Steve thinks he’s wrong, and he thinks Billy knows he’s wrong. They were both charismatic, both handsome, but Steve was nicer. He was friendlier, more easy going, and at the end of the day that’s someone everyone would rather follow than someone like Billy. Some angry, aggressive, and volatile. Someone they fear. They both know it, and it’s clear on Billy’s face even when he says the opposite.

“Newsflash, I don’t care about being king.” And he doesn’t, he actually really doesn’t. He just-- “I just don’t wanna’ be alone, anymore.” And it’s probably the pussiest thing he could have said. I don’t wanna’ be alone, like some kind of fucking girl. He expects Billy to laugh at him, to make fun of him, maybe punch him again, maybe shove him back and go inside to tell everyone what a little bitch Steve Harrington is.

He does laugh. But it’s after a moment of surprise, and the sound is more dry than it is mean. “You’re a fucking piece of work, Harrington.” Billy sighs, and looks up at the night sky like there’s something up there beside stars before looking back down. “And I’m watching you.”

And with that, the most ominous thing Steve’s ever fucking heard, Billy saunters back inside.

Only after the door has shut behind him and Steve tastes copper does he realize his nose is bleeding.

That Monday they’re all sitting at the lunch table when Billy asks Tommy if he’s seen the new Rambo yet. He hasn’t, and while Carol wrinkles her nose at all the violence, she admits that Sylvester Stallone is pretty hot, so she’ll tag along if they go to see it. Steve doesn’t comment, figuring if Billy’s inviting people then he’s not going. He’s thinking about taking the kids when Billy looks at him and goes, “You gonna’ come?” And Steve’s so fucking surprised it takes him a second to find himself and go, “Yeah, sure.”

That Thursday Billy eats his lunch like a man starving. Without thinking, Steve offers up his meatloaf and Billy stares at him like he’s crazy but takes it anyway. In response, Billy offers up his applesauce and he accepts it, feeling not like he’s won, but that he might be close.

“I think he doesn’t eat at home sometimes,” Tommy says while Steve’s BMW is idling in the McDonald’s drive-thru. They’d been talking about Billy’s massive appetite, and how it even puts theirs to shame. “He eats my entire pantry every time he comes over.”

Steve frowns and thinks about it before he’s leaning back out the window and ordering two more burgers, fries, and nuggets. Tommy doesn’t comment on it, but he shoots Steve a look when they get back and Billy goes, “What’s with the extra food?” and Steve shrugs and replies, “Must of got the order wrong.”

A week later he’s driving Dustin home from school and figures something is wrong because the kid isn’t jabbering like normal. He almost looks like he’s pouting, eyes out the window. Finally, Steve can stand it anymore, “What’s up, man?” He never thought he’d be bothered by Dustin being quiet, but he is.

With his arms crossed over his chest, Dustin purses his lips like he doesn’t want to say, but when Steve prods him he finally blurts, “Are you going to turn back into a douchebag?” And Steve’s, well, Steve’s caught a bit off guard because he definitely hadn’t expected that, figuring maybe it had to do with Max.

“You used to think I was a douchebag?”

Leveling him with a look that says seriously? Dustin goes, “Uh, I didn’t think you were one, you were . Before Nancy you were all look at me I’m so cool, and you hung out with Tommy Hill, and now you are again and with Billy Hargrove of all people, and--”

“Whoa man,” Steve breathes with a little laugh, “Cool your jets, okay? I’m not--”

“He kicked your ass!”

“I know.”

“And threatened Lucas!”

“I know!”

“Then what are you doing?” Dustin demands, fixing him with an incredulous look. “Did he knock something loose when he punched you? ‘Cause, like, he’s not a cool dude, and you-- if you hang out with him you might--”

“Dustin,” he sighs, pulling up to the others’ house. Steve puts the BMW in park but doesn’t unlock the doors just yet. “I’m not... look, you’re right. I was probably a total douchebag.” Especially to a kid. “But I’m not going to just... change back, okay? I just... need people that aren’t kids or my ex to hang out with.”

“But we’re cool kids.”

He laughs a little, and it’s more fond than mean. “You are,” and okay, Dustin and the rest of the party are total dorks, but they’re cool dorks, and while Steve would never tell anyone that except Dustin, it’s still true. “But it’s not the same.”

And he thinks Dustin must agree on some level, because instead of immediately arguing he just pouts, taking a breath and blowing out his cheeks while he thinks. Then he finally he goes, “Fine,” before adding, “But if you start turning into a douchebag again I’m like totally gonna’ hit you or six El on you. Or something.”

Again, Steve laughs, “Man, if I start acting like that again I encourage you to hit me and/or six El on me, okay?” Dustin nods, seemingly okay with that deal, but just in case--

“Hey-- how about I take you and the other brats to the mall on Saturday?”

Dustin immediately brightens at that, “The one outta’ town?”

“Yup. You guys just have to ask your parents if it’s okay.”

“Totally! I’ll let the guys know! Hopefully Hopper will let El go too. Thanks Steve,” and then he’s hopping out the car and heading for his house with a quick wave as a good-bye. Steve waits until he’s safely in before driving on home.

The very next day Dustin tells him that Max’s mom said she can’t go unless Billy comes to look after her. “It’s stupid,” he huffs, “She’s safer with you than she’d ever be with Billy,” and even though Steve doesn’t disagree with that point he’s heard enough about Max’s parents to know there’s no arguing with them.

“Okay. Billy will come then.” And Dustin looks so fucking betrayed that he can’t help but laugh. “What? You want Max to come, don’t you?”

A pause then, “Fine. But you gotta’ like. Keep his ass in line, got it?”

“Yeah, yeah, shithead, I got it.”

Convincing Billy to go with him and six kids out of town won’t be easy, though.

He figures the next party coming up will be the best time. It’s right before Saturday, and Steve hadn’t planned on going for the sake of his pride, but a drunk Billy is a Billy more likely to accept Steve’s proposal. He was always nicer drunk. Okay, no he wasn’t, but... he may be more agreeable. If he’s drunk enough.

And friendly enough.

“A Valentine’s Day party?” Billy asks, nose wrinkling at the flier Steve had just stuck in his hands.

“Singles party,” Steve corrects, and Billy somehow looks more disgusted.

“Those are a thing?”

“Well,” Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket, Steve shrugs. “Last one Lisa threw was like? When we were fifteen? Then she got into a relationship with Jimmy P, but they broke up in December, so--”

“So she’s throwing a singles party.Yeah, no thanks.” Billy pushes the flier towards Steve’s chest. “Sounds pathetic. I’d rather get wasted at the quarry.”

“That’s pathetic too.” He points out, “And at Lisa’s the booze and food will be free. Plus it’s mostly an excuse to get wasted, make out with people, then never talk about it come Monday morning.” That wasn’t a lie. Steve had probably kissed a countless number of girls the last time the party was thrown. Hell, he was pretty sure he kissed Tommy too, but that was three years ago and Steve decided he was too drunk to remember it.

Billy barks a laugh and Steve thinks maybe he’s convinced him, “God, that’s fucking ridiculous. Why do you want me to go so bad?”

“Because, I want to go.” Okay, he actually doesn’t. It is pathetic. “But Tommy and Carol can’t go, and you’re single so--” he shrugs again, reaches out to nudge the paper against Billy’s hands. His knuckles are cut up again. It’s the second time that month and Steve wonders who’s the unlucky soul that's been on the other end. “Okay. What do I get if I do?”

“Pot?”

“I got pot, and Cali pot is better than Indiana pot.” Fair.

In all honesty, Steve had no idea what to give him. He can’t think of anything so he settles for, “I’ll owe you one,” and a smile that promises just about anything Billy could want. It’s a good deal, so good that Steve’s almost nervous about making it. What kind of favor would Hargrove ask of him one day?

Billy, of course, brightens at the suggestion. “You’ll owe me one,” he repeats. “Alright, pretty boy, you got yourself a deal.”

#harringrove #my drabbles #??? i cant think of any horrible triggers #mental illness cw #but that's in all my stuff at this point #anyway idk if anyone would even want a sequel to this but #here

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brightlightscastashadow · 8 years

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I NEED TO DO HOMEWORK but my brain is A MESS RIGHT NOW so here’s a list of everything that has happened this weekend/might happen in the future so i can just not think about it again until all my work is done (PS if you’re on mobile and there isnt a read more i am so so so sorry

THURS

my japanese class went on a field trip to zojoji temple near tokyo tower with japanese university students

went in tokyo tower and saw an amazing sunset over mt. fujiiiiii (and sprouted ideas for future romantic date set up hehehe)

met a bunch of cool japanese students (Hiro and Lola!!)

went to dinner with the students and our professor

ela and i were talking about how cool the guy hiro was on our walk back

and then he ran to catch up with us to walk back to the train lmao. our pal!!! what a guy!!!

wandered around back roads of azabu juban and found a cemetary

went back to tuj until 10pm in the studio

SLEEP

FRI

went to see the stand-up act of the guy I went to the drag show & other comedy show with (his name is nao for the record)

we were supposed to meet up with Ela but she got sick last minute :(

but things weren't awkward they were fun :)))) and i remembered that i actually think he’s really cute and funny (apparently i forgot in the week we didn't see each other lmao)

nao was so nervous and I was trying to comfort him while simultaneously trying not to make him more nervous by being too close lmao

after the show we stayed and talked to his professor that came and the also mc of the show (both asked how we met and we had to say tinder lmao)

his professor told me not to help him write his paper (hes an english major lol) and that it would be “good to make him suffer a little”

talked to the mc about being awkward when they make you participate at comedy shows but this part wasn’t actually awkward. also its so cool meeting all these people that are in japan for all different reasons??? also im becoming a real adult that can have actual good conversations with strangers

nao and i took the train back to shinjuku together and he said he was amazed that i dont fall over on the train since i dont hold on to anything lmao

(saw udon noodle vomit... yikes)

SAT

THE CRAZIEST DAY EVER I WALKED 27K steps/12 MILES

left dorm at 9am for tuj. met up with painting professor. took train to ueno park

museum we were gonna go to was closed for renovation so we went to some Titian show at another one and it was boring so ela and i just discussed how terrible they were at painting babies

went to another exhibition space called chiyoda 3331. saw a few really cool things

walked around akihabara/ in an arcade

ate tempura and discussed japan and learning japanese. and art.

the guy we were with (kevin) showed us this cool bridge where you can see a ton of different train lines crossing over a river and we stood there for like a good 30 min lmao

took the train across tokyo to shimokitazawa (THRIFTING)

looked around a bit before ela and i met up with our friends Kristi and Steph.

I fell in love with a pair of suede turquoise doc martens. and they had my size. in japan. a miracle. (also theyre new not thrifted)

bought the docs

sadly didnt fit into many japanese clothes. uncertain if this is a body type issue or a too much food lately issue or maybe a bit of both...

got crepes and a good ass teriyaki burger

THOUGHT i was gonna go home but kristi and i stopped in shin-okubo (koreatown) for desert

looked at kpop goods and yelped for a while (both our favorite groups are very popular here)

bought some korean food from the grocery store and then... alcohol from the conveince store :-) public drinking is legal here lmao japan is too lit

Got drunk off this super strong vodka tonic that im convinced is simultaneously the cheapest and most tasty way to get drunk ever. i will miss this drink

drank some nasty ass green tea alchol

wandered around drunk for like an hour

NEEDED TO PEE SO WALKED IN CIRLCes for another 30 min before we remembered mcdonalds will be our best bet for a bathroom

finally got home around midnight

ate a ton of food

couldn’t sleep til 2

SUN

woke up somehow naturally at 8am. an hour before i even set an alarm. not hung over. feeling great.

went for a run which didnt go well bc of asthma and general lack of physical fitness but at least i got to see a lot of the nearby neighborhood

met up with ela’s class at the science and nature museum. an illustrator that works here was giving us sketching advice/tips and at first i thought he was super agressive but i warmed up to him

he liked my drawing a lot and told me i should come to his event where a bunch of artists and illustrators in tokyo come to draw on sunday nights!!

ela and i went to ikebukuro and ate mcdonalds

walked to the bar where her roommate (atsuko) was performing.

ATSUKO IS AMAZING she is so talented holy shit i love her

her performance was incredible

amazing

then there were other bands and they were like more punk/rock (?) kind of bands but yo i was into it, it was so fun

went out to dinner with atsuko, my friends, her friends

her friend’s friends got too drunk... at first it was funny but then iwas like ok we gotta go bc of homeweork

which was the RIGHT MOVE BECAUse omg after we left some guy puked and another one disappeared and there was still the equivalent of $100 left to be covered on the check bc they drank so fucking much

anyway

at least i wasnt there

now homework??? idk i have so much to do and idk how to get it done rip

Future????

LOTS OF DEADLINES THIS WEEK HELP WHEN WILL I FIND THE TIME

fri: movie and sunset in tokyo tower date (i think its fair to flat out call this a date) with nao

sat: photography exhibition with ela and atsuko

also sat: yokohama again- ramen museum and lantern festival

sun: artists sketching event thing!! i wanna meet artists and have them teach me how they got here and also for them to think im good and make connections :-))))

atsuko is performing again in 2 weeks and im so excited?? im gonna invite nao too so he can meet my friends

more deadlines approaching...

my dad is visiting in the beginning of march

killian called me and said she might visit??? waaaahhh so nice

ela and kristi will still be here after the program is over and will be here to celebrate my birthday with me!!!

kristi wants to come with me to korea??? ffffff im so excited

i need a new job for summer? i keep forgetting to look at internships... i need to work hard on this stuff this week

i have never wanted something more before than to live here

i need to learn japanese

i love it here

also i feel like i have finally opened up as a person

damn

wtf is my life anymore

#mythoughtsandfeelings

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