#and beg them to write me thise

[daisydezem]

So today I turned 33😊 and its been a good(ish) day. I just wanted to vent a little bit about what else is going on in my life so yeah I'll write a little bit about it.

Triggers: period, doctor, IUD, hysterectomy (uterus removal)

In 2021 December I got the injection pill. Ever since my period was whacky. I had no period for a month and then for 2 months in a row. I went to the doctor and he gave me some hormone pills to make it stop and it did. Then the same thing happened. 1 month not then 2 months in a row (and with that I mean every day for those 2 months) so I went to the doctor again.

This time he wanted to reset my period patarn so with the injection pill I also got the normal pill. I called the pharmacy and the lady on the phone asked if that was right. So I explained and she said okay well then just come pick them up. I did have a little bit of period for like 2 weeks but that wasn't so bad. Then I started to notice myself change.

I was emotional, crying (and normally I hate crying), angry and just a whirlwind of emotions. I got my period again September 28th. A week later I had to have the injection shot again. So I asked the nurse if I should still keep taking the normal pill as well. She asked me what? So again I explained what the doctor had said and she asked me... are you okay? And I said yeah sure... I didn't want to admit I wasn't. But she did said to stop the pill.

Was I okay? That question rang in my head. And no I wasn't... I was crying at work because someone had a pretty last name, because I saw a elderly couple in a commercial shopping... I was crying all the time but the weird part was I didn't feel sad at all. So I called the doctor again and asked for a female doctor. This was early November and I had my period from September 28th. I had a lot of blood (one hour for the largest tampon was already blood through) and heavy cramps and I stopped working due to it on November 19th since I couldn't tell my manager how I would react if there was a calamity and if I would be able to guide people into safety.

I talked about this with the female doctor. And you know what she said? "I think you might be depressed" What? No, I wasn't. My hormones and period are a out of control. But I was send home with the advise to rest for a week and call in a week if things weren't better. They weren't and I called. I sat with the same doctor asking for a meeting with a gynaecologist but she just said maybe you just need to go back on the pill and to be safe (since I got pregnant being on the pill) your partner should just get a vasectomy. But that won't slove my hormones, sense of security, my bleeding or my cramps. So I begged to see the gynaecologist and final I was able to see one in December (still everyday on my period, heavy cramps and hormones moodswings)

We did some tests, I had anemia, had too much hormones because of the combination of injunction pill and normal pill and showing signs of exhaustion. And I was done... I just said remove it. But they didn't want to because I was too young. I might want kids in 5 years... I DONT! She told me to at least wait to see what would happen if all hormones from the pills were out of the body. So we did...

Fast forward to the end of January of this year. Things hadn't changed, still on my period everyday, my exhaustion was worse and the pain of the cramps were less and less doable since I couldn't power through because of the exhaustion. So I was given painkillers and it helps a bit. But they were still painful and getting more frequent. So she decided to try a IUD. It was placed February 6th.

Thise who have them know putting them in isn't very nice. It hurts... but the days after I was in horrible pain. It got worse. It felt like I was in labor. But after 2 weeks it got a bit better. The bleeding was still there but I was able to sleep and I even went to work for a few hours. Then I had a check up to see if everything was okay(mind you everytime it's a vaginal ultrasound that I went to the doctor) She checked and no it wasn't. I had cramps so much I pushed I halfway out of the uterus. So we made an appointment to re adjust it again a week later. I was with a camera, she put it on the right place again and same thing happened. I was in pain... lots. It felt like I was in labor. And last Thursday I had a check to see it it was still in place this time. It wasn't...

Now she said okay we tried everything so now we are gonna do a second opinion in a different hospital. And see if we can do a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) Like I fucking asked for in December...

I'm pissed, exhausted and done. This year was awful. And I hope next year will be better. Since thus hasn't just had an effect on my own health physical and mentally... but also on my work, my social life, being a nice fun mom and put a lot on my partner and our relationship.

As I said in the beginning I just wanted to vent. I needed to put it down. I've been on my period from September 28th on. Some days worse and some better. Thank those who got to the end...

[muffindaddystyles]

Fishie-Nets???

Summarry// Harry's looking so beautiful in fishnets that reader couldn't help but to clench their legs together. She begs like a good girl for her Daddy.

Warning: Heavily smutty, Daddy kink, fluff too.

Cope with me. It's my first time writing a smut here at tumblr hope ya'll like it.

You're at the studio where Beauty Papers photoshoot's taking place. Even though you're ambivert not going to places you don't feel comfortable with mostly they're the ones where people are just too intimidating but you still went to this photoshoot with Harry because he just wants you beside him, your reassurances and little of pat to his anxiety for this particular day because he's doing something to portray his diversity, his range and the fine line he has beautifully drawn in his persona.

When they did his makeup for the issues video and the artists left you two alone in room, you coiled your arms around his neck pulling back to admire him properly.

With a nude lipstick he's looking so damn kissable and fuckable apparently but you don't want to ruin it. He's giddish and a bit skittish under your lustful gaze pawing at your hips, "my man's looking so fucking handsome." You breathily fawned kissing the corners of his lips and he sighs lovingly getting more closer to you.

"I do?" You nod quickly, "don't you believe me?" Your whisper makes his heart race quicken and taking his hand you slip it in your denims getting through the hem of your panties taking his slender digits in between of your pussy folds moaning when he pinched your clit warning you, "don't fuckin' tease me." He warns you but it wavered when you tried to ride his fingers.

There was a knock on the door calling for Harry and his eyes widens when you still didn't stopped your dirty motions, "m'gonna touch myself behind you daddy." You mewled but he grunts viciously instead grabbing you by your neck, hot breath hitting your lips.

He knows that you're teasing him on purpose he's already painfully rock hard in his navy blue trousers but you're such a fuckin' tease you don't care and it's getting on his nerves because fuck he just wanted to bend you the right moment when the affectionate praises for him came from your mouth like a song of dove.

"Shut up. Stay ready fo' the punishment if that's the case." He groans when there was another knock and he was about to take his fingers out of you but you squeezed so hard it felt impossible.

So, he had only one tactic to pesk you off smacked your ass so hard that you didn't hold back from squealing loud.

You grin when he stepped back ready to go outside and you mouthed him blowing kisses to him, "best of luck, baby." To which he sucks his middle and ring finger sexily throwing a peace sign out to you.

You stood in the corner while he was getting photographed. You're in awe. he's so him at the moment, yet all of his personalities came on clashing to his one persona that he's right now.

Another shot and they were mobing him inside his cabin, "you did so well, fuckin' proud of you." You chirped bouncing at your feet hugging him and never letting him go, he's feeling so blessed he wants to cry.

You're his everything. His mental and physical supporter. His late night deep talk mate. His own personal enchantress and most importantly the love of his life.

"Wha' did I do to deserve ya'?" He kisses your lips smudging his lipstick all over marking you like you sometimes do to him, oh how the tables have turned.

"Fucks me so well need another reason?" You spat playfully and he glides his palms under the back pockets of your denims cupping your arse, "couldn't disagree on this." His lips wraps around your bottom one's sucking hard and you moaned out grinding your pelvis against his.

Now it's his turn to push your buttons so he unlatches from you undressing infront of you, "Harry..." you whined stomping your feet.

"Seriously moppet? You're actin' like disobedient filthy girl when daddy's so busy." You huff only turning your head to side and your sight falls to the fishnets in which he has a shot next.

Grabbing them you squat down in between his naked legs, "can I, daddy? You ask innocently and he takes your chin pecking your lips.

"Go on baby." He slouches further into his seat when you take his ankle putting it at your thigh to slip fishnets over his legs.

His head lulls at his shoulders when you feather litte moist kisses from down his ankles to the inside of his fishnet covered thighs, "mhm. Pretty baby of mine takes care of daddy so much." He maneuvers his fingers in your loose hair when you ducked down taking his covered bulge in your mouth soaking it with your saliva.

You're in his lap now grinding your centres with lustful flexible motions of your whole body, kissing down from his exposed throat to your loving butterfly on his tummy hooking your thumb in his belly button and whimpering in his mouth, "Harry baby you're looking so pretty I wanna fuck you, make love to you and just want you to cum inside me." He gulps at your words straight outta your heart and he has an idea of what you indicating to 'fuck him' means.

You don't give a fuck if you're calling him daddy or not. He's your Harry and just yours. He's so manly and vulnerable under you that everything including your love for him and the sexual tension turned your eyes glassy.

"I love you fuckin' much. ye' know that?" He whispers just for you to hear and you bob your head smauching a kiss to his temple, "I know, will always."

Bright flashes of camera. Gentle commands to Harry and he gives a shy smile to photographer at the fact his dick that was tortured to an extent was swelling through the underwear and you stifled your laugh when the photographer asked him to sling his one leg over another.

His thick thighs stretching juicely, tiger tattoo silked under fishnets and his shiny loafers made you clench your legs together. What the fuck you cursed under your breath maybe you should've never came by.

When Harry stepped back inside the room locking the door behind because the dick in his pants already told him he needs to. He was surprised when he found you at your knees under him your fingers latching to his fishnets.

He has never seen you being this needy or horny, "please daddy. please, please!" You begged nicely voice getting squeaky at end and Harry holds you from shoulders making you stand.

"Wha' got my pet in s'frenzy, hmm? Being a good girl n' all tha'." He rubs your belly and then in between your breasts as if he's scratching a kitten and you pur like one.

You slid down taking the hem of his fishnets in between your teeth yanking them down till his knees and he gasps eroticaly because he has never seen a sight this stimulating, "go on lovie suck daddy." He pets your hair and you murmur a 'pretty.' again when his cock that is yours for now springed free

The thick veins tracing down till his base, it's crown shading coral like his lips and it's weeping with his pre-come to gopt licked by you.

You lap at his arousal and he abruptly leans against the vanity counter gripping the edges. You gesture him to zip his mouth and he nods bitting down his lip.

Humming you swirled your tongue around his cock bobbing your head at slow pace while massaging his balls and nudging it with the tip of your nose.

A shout got strangled in his lungs when you took him deep into your throat trying to stay relaxed as he taught you so because you love giving Harry blowies and he's quite big so you had to test tour waters first but now you're a pro at making him cum by just deep throating him.

You glance at the wrecked Harry above you sheened into pure sweat that a moan rumbled from inside you vibrating around his cock and He bent forward at your unintentional action.

"That's it, can't take this longe'." He grits out yanking you to your feet and you bat your lashes to get rid of moisture, "don't wanna cum in my mouth daddy?"

"Your cunt's where I'll come." He rasps taking your bottoms down collecting your arousal onto his digits, "dirty girl. Daddy hasn't even touched ye' and you're drippin' down ye' thighs." You hiss coyly at his words holding his shoulder.

"Just for you." He slaps your ass groping it after to massage the sting and when you moan loudly forgetting everyone's most probably listening to you Harry lands another spank to shut you up.

"Open your mouth and you wouldn't be able to walk outta this room." You gulp bobbing your head obediently and harry slams you against the vanity, your back against his sweaty naked torso and his thickness laying heavy between your asscheeks.

"Rough. Daddy." You inform him how you want to be fucked and he grins turning your head to kiss sloppily.

"Wan' me to rough ye' up?" He groans lowly rubbing his cock in between your ass cheeks and you squeak out a 'yes' resting your forehead against the mirror, "will fuck ye' s'rough you'll forget your name." He snaps his hips, hand gliding in between your legs dipping his three fingers inside you to assure that you're sloppy enough to thrust his cock inside you without warning you and when he was assured he did it.

Slammed his hips so hard that your breath hitched in your throat, you threw your head back under his chin and pecking your lips he completely pulled outside to again plunge his cock thise time deeper that you could feel him in your tummy.

"Hmm. such a tight hole takin' me so good." He hums gruffly grinding your hips in circles as you milked and nursed his cock with your thick arousal, "always so fuckin' needy and grabby fo' daddy's cock." He digs his fingers in your hip-bones fucking thrusting inside you and no noise came from inside you except of moans you're caging inside your lungs.

It's burning so rapidly in your stomach and you're so close to coming that Harry wouldn't be pleased, "I-I'm.." Harry's ears perk up at this and he circles your clit harshly yanking you against his chest from your bended position.

"No the fuck you're not." He takes your jaw making you look at him and you whimpered teary eyes but he tsked smacking your cunt and you avoided to cry out loud by biting at his wrist that was protecting you from falling.

"Think you deserve to come this quick after being the sickest tease that daddy had to hide his bulge, huh? Such a shame ye' don't know how to act when daddy's even a little bit of naked." He rocks into you with more force your thighs slapping and he grabs your tits from under your sweater squeezing them ever so hard, "no. daddy m'good." You hate not being called good. She's her's Harry's good baby but he's being mean which she's loving and with the pleasure about to take over you in a bringe made you clamped around his cock hard.

"Cum on my cock then." He murmurs kissing the side of your neck and you gasp a sigh of relief coiling your elbow around his neck moving your hips along him. He moans out in your ear when your cum coated around him in thick gooeness but you didn't stop fucking him clenching around him.

"Fuck me some more." He gropes your hips at your words slamming himself up inside you. Head falling in the crook of your neck lips pressed at your shoulder, "my baby. fuck mine." He twitched inside you now blabbering incoherently in whispers while you fucked him with closed eyes.

"M'bout to come." He grits nibbling at your skin he's about to drop both of you on the vanity but you managed to stay put one hand toying with your clit another with his heavy balls.

"Look at me when you come." He ordered you thrusting faster and harder. Your eyes meeting his in the mirror and a single devastated look from him made you clamp around him in a snug grip, "oh-fuck." He twitched for the second time and your fingers softly brushed his jaw to attach your lips.

He moaned into your mouth when he cummed inside you in the form of ribbons of his endless thick liquid but you still didn't stopped fucking him to edge to which he muttered, "fuckin' insatiable." With broken whimpers and cries you came on his cock. He held you tighter when your knees gave in.

With a low groan he pulled out turning you to face him, "hmm. My baby's good? Didn't hurted ye'?" He cups your cheeks showering you in your kisses and you pout trying to calm down.

"feelin' empty." He grins at your complain while buttoning your denims pecking your hair, "will warm ye' up and fill you till your tummy once we reach home."

.

[multifandomjunkie3000]

I Told You So

Tony Stark x Fem!reader

Summary (In which she told him so and he didn't believe her)

Warnings : kinda sad, maybe some typos, some swearing

My first time writing so please don't hate on it

"WHY WON'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME," (Y/N) screamed. "WELL MAYBE BECAUSE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS INCORRECT," Tony spit back at her. That was enough to make (Y/N) shrink back from him. "Why can't you see she's using you, she has been since you started dating," (Y/N) begged for what felt like the billionth time. Tony let out an annoyed sigh, "Will you just let it go." She just stared at him, eyes hard, arms crossed, breathing heavily. "We've been best friends since dipers. I just don't want you getting hurt," (Y/N) mumbled. "Yeah, if you were really my best friend you would be happy for me, instead of being a jealous bitch." (Y/N) inhaled sharply upon hearing those words. Was that really what he thought of her. "Fine whatever don't come crying to me when your heart gets broken asshole," (Y/N) hissed at him, before unfolding her arms, walking out, and slamming the door to his room.

That was a week ago, ever since then (Y/N) had been avoiding him like the plage. Which didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the Avengers, who desperately wanted to know what had happened between the two.

"Come on (Y/N) just tell us what happened" Nat, Sam, Bucky, Steve and (Y/N) sat around the island in the kitchen. The four of them wanting to know what happened "Nothing happened" Those words made the red headed assassin let out a scoff, "As if we really believe that" (Y\N) let out another tired sigh, "We got into a fight" "And..." The boys pressed wanting to know what the fight was about. "... And nothing that's it" Natasha let out an exasperated sigh and left the room leaving (Y/N) with the boys. Who all shared a concerned look for the girl in front of them. When someone walked into the room.

Tony's POV

I left the lab and made my way to the kitchen for some fresh coffee. Upon entering I notice Bucky, Sam, and Steve looking towards (Y/N) I wonder what that's about "Goodmorning" I mummered catching the guys attention. "Morning" they spoke in unison. I look intently at (Y\N) who was staring down at her empty mug. Still not talking to me. I sighed looking away from her and grabbed my mug walk out of the kitchen towards my room. When I opened the door I was greeted by my lovely girlfriend Jessica. "Hey babe" "Hey love" I walked over pecking her lips l. I'm throwing a party later, so make sure to be ready. "Babeeeee I don't have a dress" Jess whined a pout on her lips. "Here take my card get yourself a nice dress" she squealed out a thank you before rushing to the bathroom. I shook my head with a small smile on my face as I made my way back to the lab.

(Y/N)'s POV

Tony entered the room, "Goodmorning" he mummered. Catching the guys attention "Morning" they spoke in Unison. Making me shake my head a little in amusement. As I stared down at my now empty mug. I could feel Tony's burning eyes on me, as if he was expecting me to greet him. I can't not after he hurt me with those rude words I thought to myself. Tony then sighed and left the room, coffee mug in hand. Soon after the guys left leaving me with my crude thoughts. Why can't he just see that she's using him for fame and money, I could treat him so much better, I would be a much better girlfriend. Wow you are a jealous bitch huh. You don't deserve him anyway he's to good for you. My thoughts spit venomously at me. I shook my head and went to my room to nap before Tony's party

Narrator's POV

Later that night another famous Stark party was in full swing. People drinking, dancing and having a good time. The Avengers excluding (Y/N) were crowded around the bar talking amongst themselves. (Y/N) who sat aways from the Avengers by herself wanting to keep her bad vibes to herself away from her friends. That was until someone sat next to her. Bucky looked down on his dear friend in concern wondering how to make her feel better. "What's wrong doll?" He asked her concern showing through his voice. "Not really in the mood to converse and dance Bucky" (Y/N) softly sighed. "I know what'll make you feel better" (Y/N) looked at him to see his hand out held out in front of her. Making her tilt her head in confusion. "Dance with me doll" and so she grabbed his hand while he lead her to the dance floor where she finally began to enjoy herself.

Across the way Tony watched the interaction, something bubbling in his chest as his best friend danced and laughed with Bucky. He turned his head quickly hoping no one had seen him staring. Instead he watched his girlfriend brag about him and the dress he bought her.

Tony's POV

Later after the party was finally over and I had finished talking to Steve I made my way to mine and Jessica's shared room. When I over heard Jessica's conversation. "Yeah he has no idea" "I know what kind of genius can't tell his girlfriend is using him" those words made me inhale sharply. (Y/N) had been right. Jessica had been using him. Enough is enough. I burst through the door scaring Jessica as she shrieked and dropped her for. "We're done" I glared at her. "Ba-babe-" Jessica started but I cut ger off "I don't wanna hear it leave NOW!" I growled. Jessica packed what she could and sprinted leaving me a crying mess on the floor.

I got up even though I knew that (Y/N) was mad at me but I needed my best friend, I needed her. I made my way to the elevator pushing the button to the floor with her room on it. As soon as I arrived at her door I knocked softly waiting, listening to the soft shuffling on the other side, until the door swung open to reveal her. My breath hitched in my throat as I looked her. She looked perfect, hair in a messy bun, make-up free face, and one of my ACDC shirts she had stole, she was beautiful. I wasted no time pulling her into a hug, god it had been too long. "Tony" her voice dripped in confusion. "You were right, Jessica was using me." My voice cracked as I remembered her words. Her eyes soften upon hearing this "I'm sorry bubs, but I do remember saying don't come crying to me when she breaks your heart" (Y/N) recalled her words from the fight a week ago. Hearing this made me feel even worse. How could I have said thise things to her. "Pleaseeee (Y/N), I'm sorry I should have listened to you. I need my best friend. I need you please."

(Y/N)'s POV

When I watched as Tony begged me to forgive him I couldn't say no. He looked like an abandoned puppy who needed some love. I pulled him into my room and to my bed, and held his as he cried. Until he had finally calmed down his breath evening out. "I love you" he whispered before falling into a deep sleep.

I shook my head softly as he pulled me closer. "I told you so" I whispered back before falling into sleep as well.

I hope you enjoyed it... Send requests and I might write some more if you guys like this

[cobwebsaint]

BLEASE DO THE SPIT FIC

AHHHH YES alright obligatory NSFW warning and link to the original if anybody is compelled to leave some sweet kudos or a comment or anything. The garbage stays under the cut for the sake of your eyeballs and your dash.

[Before we even get into the meat of this mf let it be known I was BULLIED into participating in the Slipknot body fluids garbage trend and I still hate it but god was it all downhill from there. Y’all know who you are. Bitch.]

Corey really did have a hard fucking time shutting up, and it almost always got him in some level of shit. After getting the shit kicked out of him at bars and parties and shows approximately three trillion times, you would have thought he’d learned his lesson. 

He did not. 

[I have never spoken a word that was not true. The Corey Taylor gremlin is just an obnoxious big mouthed creecher. He cannot help thise.]

The man had no off button. He knew it, everybody else knew it— it was just something they all had to live with. Jim especially. Jim signed on for this bullshit every single day.

That was his own fault.

[Ah yes, the birthplace of what is now known as the domestic nightmares AU. I promise I’m actually gonna write it. I have a whole sandbox doc. But point is they’re stupid and they’re gross and they’re boyfriends.]

He was off on some godforsaken tangent again about nothing in particular, which Jim had tuned out a good ten minutes ago. Sometimes he felt a little bad about how easy it’d become to turn Corey to white noise, but then he caught something about what Ted Bundy did right or pounding back all the Kool-Aid at Jonestown (“It’s Flavor-Aid, James.”) and decided it wasn’t such a terrible thing after all. Some things were just better left alone. Letting Corey babble while Jim mindlessly twisted his fingers through his curls was a pretty good option in Jim’s book.

Of course, that was all up until Corey inevitably realized he was being ignored and made it a point to get the spotlight back. 

[In which Jim shares the same emotion towards Corey and his Sagittarius center of attention disease as the rest of us.]

Jim shifted away from the finger that was jabbing him hard in the ribs, pulling a face and looking down at Corey who had propped himself up on his chin, laying on Jim’s stomach. “What’d I do this time? Jesus.”

“You better be thinkin’ about something real fuckin’ important.” 

[Bold of him to assume Jim is experiencing thoughts at all tbh.]

“Oh yeah. Daydreaming about the day you’re finally able to sit and shut up for more than ten seconds.”

[Aren’t we all.]

Corey narrowed his eyes, punching Jim in the side, satisfied with the “Ow!” he earned in response. “You fuckin’ prick. You don’t get to complain.”

“I get to complain the most. Nobody else sitting here listening to you talk about the logistics of having a conjoined twin, y’know. I’ve earned that right fair and square, dude.”

“What, you’re telling me you haven’t thought about how you’d—”

“No.”

“Bullshit.”

[Just in case you were wondering, (you probably weren’t) the gremlin is thinking about how you’d fuck with a conjoined twin.]

Jim rolled his eyes and shook his head, but he still couldn’t hide the dumb little smirk that wanted to tug at the corners of his lips. “God, what the fuck is wrong with you?” 

Corey started up again and Jim immediately cut him off, reaching over to clap a hand over his mouth. “Ah! Don’t. Just. Shut up.”

[Jim: asks that question

Corey: starts telling his entire life story for the sixtieth time that week]

Corey batted Jim’s hand away, pushed himself up, crawling in close enough to swing a leg over Jim, straddling his hips. He leaned in, probably half a millimeter from Jim’s face, hands planted at either side of his head, curls cascading down around him. He was still pretty even when he was being a bastard and it was total bullshit. 

[You’re just mad your dick won’t you stay mad at him, James.]

“Make me.” 

Jim snorted a laugh. “Just say you want me to choke you out and be done with it.”

“Nah, that’s you. ‘Sit on my dick and strangle me, it’ll be great.”

“Don’t make me out to be the fuckin’ pervert when you’re the one begging me to step on your balls,” Jim retorted, barely even batting an eye. 

Corey sat up a little, leering down at Jim and running his tongue over his teeth. Eventually he just resigned to it. “Fair. But you’re still gross.”

[Points were made. There ain’t no winning here lbr.]

“Mhm. Right.” Jim reached up, threading a hand messy through Corey’s hair to bring him into a kiss. “You done bitching yet? Can I go back to only kinda hearing the crazy shit that comes out of your mouth again?”

“Hell no,” he said, shaking his head for that extra touch of dramatic emphasis. “Do you even know who you’re talking to? If you weren’t the size of a goddamn skyscraper I’d swear you just crawled out of whatever pit you came from.”

“Maybe I’m dumb, but I’m not that dumb. The great big mouth will never be silenced.” Jim giggled, bringing a knee up to knock Corey over beside him. He rolled over, pinning him down instead. “Y’know, except maybe when you’ve got a dick shoved in your face. Still making noise, but at least you’re not fuckin’ talking.”

Corey got a look on his face like he’d just reinvented the wheel, squinting his eyes up in a shit-eating grin, and Kill Bill sirens started going off in Jim’s head. No. Nope. We are under attack. This couldn’t be anything good. 

“Okay, but just consider— AND HEAR ME OUT, OKAY?” Corey cut in, watching the idea of interrupting him again flicker through Jim’s head. “What about two dicks? I bet I could fit two dicks in my mouth.”

Well. Huh. Maybe that did have Jim some sort of interested. He sat back a little, looking Corey up and down. “…You have my attention.”

“Listen, I know this chick and—” 

Jim had to laugh, ‘cause Corey thinking he was actually gonna share had to be the funniest goddamn thing to happen to him all week. He didn’t consider himself the jealous type. Maybe a little possessive sometimes. But he had to keep a tight leash on Corey Todd “Himbo” Taylor. Him being certified Awful was what got them into this mess in the first place. Jim just had a bad habit of catching feelings. Whatever, clearly Corey was more than okay with it.

[Yes I did use the word himbo in this fic and no I do not accept criticism. Also a bit of lore is that Corey essentially annoyed the absolute dick out of Jim until he was about ready to commit a murder all as an elaborate plan to get a date.]

“Nope, try that again.”

“Alright, what about Mick or—”

“Is that supposed to be better?” 

Corey groaned, punching Jim in the shoulder. “Why you gotta ruin all the fun? Can’t a dude get his face fucked and not get a bunch of shit for it?”

“Never said you couldn’t,” Jim mused. “But if you think I’m gonna let anybody else have that kind of satisfaction, you’re dead wrong dude. I’m the only one around here who deserves it. Take it or leave it.” 

Corey cocked his head to the side, staring Jim down like he was supposed to take him seriously. Like Jim didn’t already know the answer. Like he didn’t know that Corey was physically incapable of turning down the chance to get his shit rocked, whether it happened the way he wanted it to or not. 

“Fuck you. Fine.”

[Okay so this WHOLE FIC was deadass prompted by that stupid fucking picture of Corey with his fist shoved in his mouth skdjfg. So I was talking to Marina and I was like. Y’know. I bet he could fit two dicks in there. And I just kinda went buck wild. Jim was supposed to split the little bastard’s lips and shove a dildo in there too but that. Did not happen. Maybe someday.]

Content, Jim rolled off of him, got to his feet, and made a ‘well?’ gesture. Corey didn’t move, instead shooting him a look. A challenge.

Still playing that game. Alright.

Jim reached down, twisting Corey’s hair around his fist and dragging him towards the edge of the bed. “Really gonna be stubborn when you’re the one who’s begging for it?” 

“You want it all for yourself, you’re gonna have to work for it.” 

[Sir that is not how this works.]

Smug little fucker. Corey had put him through the same act at least a billion times now but somehow he still managed to find a way to get Jim to want to smack the ego right out of him. 

Corey slipped off the bed, knees buckling without (a ton of) struggle when Jim pushed him towards the floor. He tilted Corey’s head back, getting a firm grip on his jaw. 

“How you manage to be so cute while being such a pain in the ass still fuckin’ blows my mind, y’know.”

A giggle bubbled up in Corey’s chest. He strained against the hand in his hair, trying to wriggle his way out of Jim’s hold. He knew it wasn’t gonna happen, but hey— couple fingerprint shaped bruises never hurt anyone. 

[I didn’t realize how weird the wording here was until after I posted it ngl. Like. He’s angling Corey’s head back by pulling his hair and holding him there by holding his jaw. Just. To clear that up. I’ve been obsessing over this one little line for months cuz it’s a little weird but I Am Not Changing It.]

“You love it. Wouldn’t have put up with me this long if you didn’t. It’s okay, Peach. You can admit I’m hot shit.”

“Shut up, would you?” Jim tugged back, drawing a surprised noise out of Corey that only served to melt back into a laugh. “Jesus.”

“Come on, don’t be so touchy. I’m right.” Corey slid a hand up the inside of Jim’s thigh, pressing his palm into him and grabbing his already half-hard cock through his sweats. “If I’m not, then explain this away. Pavlov ain’t got shit on me.”

Nah. Nope. That was more than enough out of him. Jim wrenched Corey’s hand away, taking his hands off him just long enough to shove his sweats and boxers down and free his cock. “Open. And hands to your fuckin’ self.”

[SEE HE JUST MAD HIS DICK ENTERS THE CHAT EVERY TIME COREY’S BEING A LITTLE BITCH.]

Thankfully, that was the one thing that Corey didn’t try and fight. He leaned his head back, opened his mouth, and locked his gaze with Jim’s. Stupid pretty blue eyes practically sparkling, knowing damn well he got Jim good. Fuck. Asshole couldn’t turn it off for a second, could he? 

Jim grabbed him, holding him in place as he guided his dick into his mouth. Warm and wet and fucking perfect as always. This little shit was gonna give him a heart attack some day, he just knew it. 

He started off slow, watching Corey melt into it. Eyes fluttering shut, cheeks hollowing out around him, hands clasped behind his back. Tongue laving expertly around the head of Jim’s cock like it was second nature. Hot shit was a stretch, but hot was a different story. 

“Fuck yeah, that’s good,” Jim groaned, hand anchored on the back of Corey’s head as he rolled his hips into his mouth. “All bark and no bite. Think it would be easier to just say you wanna get used like a toy. Least you’re good at it.”

Corey made a pleased noise, leaning into it, taking Jim’s length deeper. He opened his eyes again, looking up at Jim through his lashes and whining softly. A plea for more. More ‘cause he was a greedy little bastard. 

Jim took the cue, snapping his hips forward, tightening his grip. He heard Corey sputter around him a bit, which only served as further encouragement. He fucked into his mouth in quick, deep thrusts, Corey practically going limp before him. The heat, the way Corey pressed his tongue against the underside of his cock, face contorting a bit every time Jim’s dick hit the back of his throat. Jim was already wrapped tight around the axel but god, it was too pretty of a sight to give up this early in the game. 

Even if it was giving Corey exactly what he was trying for— a happy Corey was a quiet Corey.

Or quieter.

[Ha.]

When Jim let up to let Corey catch his breath, he probably lost about half his brain cell count. Drool running down his chin, lips pink and swollen, crystal eyes brimming with tears— Corey looked practically ethereal. Like, fuck wings and halos. This was as close to angelic as someone could get and Jim fucking loved it. Shit. 

[He do be pretty tho. Also idk where the sudden religious imagery came from but like. I sure did stick with it huh. Whatever it works.]

Jim dragged his thumb over Corey’s bottom lip, breaking strings of spit that connected with his cock. He hooked his thumb under Corey’s chin, slipping two long fingers in his mouth and pressing down on his tongue. 

Corey closed around them, running his tongue between them before bobbing his head and taking them deeper. He moaned around the digits, shifting on his knees a little like he wanted to buck his hips into something that wasn’t there.

Satisfied, Jim retracted his fingers, rubbing them over Corey’s lips and chin and smearing spit across his face while he caught his breath. Jesus fucking Christ. He was feeling more and more like a ticking time bomb by the minute here, and Corey’s stupid obnoxious pretty blissed out face was doing him no favors. 

[At this point I was like. Hmmm. How many different ways can I ruin this stupid little rat’s entire career. This is really just the everything but the kitchen sink fic.]

No matter how good and perfect and fucked up and fucking slutty he looked down on his knees, taking whatever he was given, that didn’t change a damn thing. He was still the same terrible little demon that Jim knew and loved for some godforsaken reason. 

[THEY’RE IN LOVE!!!]

“‘S that it?” he rasped out, in between heavy breaths he knew he was gonna need to savor.

Nevermind. Jim was gonna kill him. Like, absolutely decimate him. 

[I WANT THAT TWINK OBLITERATED]

He thrust back into Corey’s mouth, finding the same fast pace as before. Haphazardly pulling Corey into it, meeting every rut of hips, making him struggle more this time around. Jim watched him squirm, nails biting into his wrists, but they stayed where they were locked behind his back. 

This was that sweet spot, where Corey felt filthy and used and amazing all wrapped up into one. Sure, he could ask for it, but it wouldn’t be nearly as fun. All the back and forth was part of the game that made the end goal that much sweeter. And yes, he was terrible and loved every minute of bugging the shit out of Jim until he finally snapped. It got him the attention, didn’t it?

[I started to veer off into this sort of perspective shift thing and I didn’t know how I felt about it while I was writing it but honestly I really like how it made the story flow.]

He was worlds away for a while, reduced to nothing more than a hole to be filled while Jim fucked his face. All moans and sloppy wet sounds, soaking up every little sensation— stingy pain of his hair being pulled, jaw starting to ache, cock fucking throbbing and leaking a wet spot into his boxers every time he got the least bit of friction. Jim thought Corey was an angel and this was most definitely heaven. 

Of course, Corey only stayed on cloud nine for so long. Jim hit the back of his throat again, holding him there this time. He only gagged a little at first, tears spilling over onto his cheeks. Corey’s eyes shot open and he whimpered around him, but Jim stayed put.

The second wave was worse, and he finally had to unclasp his hands and bring them up to grip onto Jim’s hips— his sign to let up.

Jim let go and pulled back just in time for a full body wretch to hit Corey. He doubled over, bracing himself on his hands, thick, stringy deepthroat spit dripping from his mouth. He hung his head, breathing hard, and Jim felt his cock twitch. 

[Don’t @ me I had just been subjected to not one but SEVERAL puke fics and I was feeling an emotion okay.]

“Oh fuck me,” Jim said out loud, because Jim was a gross horny fool. 

He knelt down, laying his hand against Corey’s cheek, making him lift his head again. He looked positively ruined. Eyes red, cheeks tear stained, whole mouth wet and well used, the front of his shirt starting to go sheer from all the drool. God, all Jim wanted to do was kiss him.

“Good?” Jim asked, and Corey gave a weak nod. Jim moved in a little closer. “Hey, talk to me. You okay? Need to stop?”

“Yeah, ‘m good,” Corey sighed, leaning his forehead against Jim’s. “Don’t wanna stop, no. Was into it, trust me.” He let go of a gravelly laugh, “Just gimme a minute.”

Jim nodded his head, running his thumb along the curve of Corey’s jaw. “Fuckin’ pretty, y’know.”

[Oh no they’re sweet.]

“Peach?”

“Mmm?”

“Shut up. Don’t just look at me like that. You look dumb.”

[Nvm.]

Jim rolled his eyes, “You shut up.” He curled his hand around the back of Corey’s neck and closed what little gap was left between them with a kiss. He tasted like cigarettes and salt and skin and it made Jim’s head spin and his stomach do backflips. Which I mean, was definitely due in part to the fact that his dick was cocked and ready to blow like a shotgun straight through the wall next to him. But Corey— the feel of his skin and the taste on his tongue and his weight on top of Jim when he was being dumb and pretty and needy and refusing to be anything less than the center of attention— well, that never helped Jim’s case. 

Soft little whimpers from Corey were muffled into Jim’s mouth, hands sliding around his broad frame and hiking his shirt up so Corey could trace over the curve of Jim’s spine. Little bit of contact, closeness that was lost when it wasn’t Jim balls deep inside of him. This was okay though. More than okay, fucking fantastic. Good to the point that Corey didn’t even try and fight when Jim pulled away. Especially not when he tugged his head back, making him look up at the ceiling as he licked a stripe from the very bottom of his chin, back to his lips. He kissed him again, like he needed to be attached at the mouth to survive, tongue easily gaining entry into Corey’s mouth and pulling more throaty moans from him. 

[Jk they’re still gross and in love.]

It was over all too quickly, Corey making a sound in protest as Jim pulled away from him and rose to his feet again. Jim yanked his head back, catching his lower lip with his thumb, mouth falling open once more. Before the thought even had the chance of passing through Corey’s mind of what the hell— Jim was bent over him, holding him in place as he spit into his mouth. Or rather back into his mouth. 

Oh. Shit. Alright. 

[Again, everything but the kitchen sink here boys.]

Several emotions flashed across Corey’s face before he settled in at acceptance, staring up at Jim with big, glazed over eyes as he towered over him.

“You want more?”

Corey nodded a very enthusiastic yes.

“Gonna be a good boy for me?”

That was met with some hesitation, knit brows and a shrug of the shoulders like he was weighing his options. Jim just shook his head. “If you’re gonna be a shit, then you can do it your damn self now. Prove you deserve it.”

Corey shot him a look, but he didn’t exactly try and argue. Wouldn’t be the first time he sucked a dick to make a point. Definitely not the last either. He sat up on his knees, wrapping his hand around Jim’s length, working him in slow, even strokes as he teased his tongue over the head. Jim about had an aneurysm from the looks of it and Corey couldn’t help but giggle. 

Jim knocked his knuckles against the side of Corey’s face. Not hard enough to hurt, but still enough to make him knock it the fuck off.

Stupid slut. 

[This still makes me giggle. Like you bap a fucking cat on the nose dksgdfj.]

Sucking the tip of Jim’s dick into his mouth, Corey gave a contented hum. He bobbed his head up and down, keeping pace with his hand, Jim lazily tracing his fingertips over the stubble on his cheeks. He mumbled a string of praise— ‘fuck yeah, baby’ and ‘so fucking good’ and ‘shit, just like that.’ Caught up and fucked up all over again. Corey Taylor was a bastard and Jim wasn’t about to give him up for a goddamn thing. 

Corey pulled off of him with a filthy ‘pop,’ wasting little time between then and ducking his head down to tongue at Jim’s balls. For what had to be the billionth time in the past ten minutes, Jim was briefly convinced he was going to leave this earth entirely. It was all he could do, to watch dumbly as Corey worked from left to right, sucking and moaning and swirling his tongue in just the right way to make Jim’s dick visibly twitch in his hand 

“Jesus fuck, baby.”

Jesus fuck, indeed. He was already seeing stars and he still hadn’t come yet. Here he was, giving the incentive of more when his knees were about to buckle. Who’s the jackass now?

[Me: writing oral sucks it’s always awkward and repetitive

Also me: stretches the oral to 5k]

Jim’s head fell back as Corey worked his way back up his length, running his tongue along the underside of it before damn near hilting him on his first try. He choked a little, pulling back to center himself before he tried again. Obscene sounds and lascivious moans filled the air, Jim’s eyes squeezed shut as he focused on the heat burning in the pit of his stomach. All he needed was a minute or two and to watch Corey’s eyes roll back in his skull to be pulled taut and ready to snap at any second. 

“Fuck me, I’m so close. Come on baby, don’t stop. Know you want it too.” Jim’s hand had found its way to the back of Corey’s head again, forcing him further down, finding that perfect rhythm again. Call it a sign of encouragement. Or something. 

Yeah, encouragement.  

Corey worked him as hard as he could, sucking and licking and slurping and swallowing him whole until the vibrations from one final groan around Jim’s cock brought all these sensations to a crescendo. Jim held him down as he came hard, spilling down his throat, swearing and gritting his teeth. Corey nursed him through, sucking him slow as Jim’s arms and legs turned to jello. Watching through his lashes as he tensed and moaned, breathing in sharp, ragged inhales until he finally had to shove Corey away ‘cause shit. 

Jim sighed heavily, pushing his hair back and out of his face, staring down at the stupid cocky look on Corey’s face. Were he able to form a coherent thought, he would have taken his ego down a notch— unfortunately, mentally he was still somewhere off in orbit. Without being entirely aware of his own actions, Jim was grabbing Corey by the collar and getting him back up off his knees. He shoved his hands underneath the hem of his shirt, fingertips studying inches of skin, the hair on his stomach, sides damp with sweat, every bump and imperfection before finally pulling the ratty spit-soaked tee over his head. 

[And to your left, you see Service Top Brain immediately taking control the second Jim no longer has enough brain cells to resist it.]

He pulled Corey to him, hands on his waist as he backed up to the bed, knees giving way when they hit the edge of the mattress. Jim hit the bed and laid back, bringing Corey down with him and directly into a kiss. Strong arms circled around Corey’s frame, bodies pressed snug, mouths melded together as one. Whatever post-nut trance Jim was in, it was perfectly fine by Corey. This was close and safe and comfortable and I mean, with the way Jim was rocking him against his stomach, you weren’t gonna hear much more than the sound of his brain cells popping like balloons ‘cause his dick was taking up all the blood flow. 

[They may be stupid but you gotta admit. They are pretty tender too.]

A high pitched whine that (it was safe to assume) was supposed words fell from Corey’s lips as Jim’s connected with the center of his chest. He had pulled away panting, working his way down— mouthing at Corey’s jaw, nipping at his earlobe, leaving a trail of hickeys down his neck. Maybe it had caught Corey off guard a little, not getting told off for being a shit and all, but any and all attention was welcome here with open arms. 

“Fuck, Jim c’mon,” he barely managed to gasp out. Forming sentences wasn’t about to be the first to go. He had a reputation to uphold here. “Better not start messin’ with me now.”

Teeth clinked against metal, Jim tugging on the ring through his right nipple and ripping all the thoughts straight from his brain for a moment. He swirled his tongue over the hardening flesh before biting down. Corey shivered and bit back a moan, pain radiating through him and twisting up in his gut. Like he wasn’t already prepared to implode as is. “Mother fucking Mary. Now you’re just making it a point to be a dick. Nobody likes a tease, Peach.”

[Also calling Jim peach is Corey’s thing in this universe. It’s gross. And soft. They’re the worst.]

Nothing. Not even an upwards glance. 

Corey wanted to scream. He wanted to slam his fist down on the bed, call Jim some new variant on ‘cunt,’ fight back, take control. But he also really didn’t want this to stop. He was so hard it fucking hurt and Jim had him right in the palm of his hand where he could barely keep his head straight and honestly? He was perfectly fine sitting right there. He was probably just missing some cue. Off by a beat and too whiny and stubborn to realize it. (Which he was. Corey never claimed to be smart. Especially not when his lizard brain was kicked into overdrive and all he could think about was getting split in half.) 

[He’s so STUPID. God. Bratty ass dumbass.]

While the idea was pretty appealing, he couldn’t even begin to collect the agency he’d need for any of that anyway. There was now a hand dangerously high up on his thigh, thumb tracing line where it met his hip, and there was no goddamn way he was gonna be able to focus on anything else. 

So Jim still did want him dead. Cool. 

“God baby, what do you want?” Corey whined, raking his nails over Jim’s chest, watching red marks appear in their wake. “I wasn’t even that bad. Did everything you wanted, barely even gave you shit. What, you want me to get you off again? ‘Cause I can do that. I’ll gladly do that if it gets you to quit fucking dragging me along. I’ll do all the work and fuck you myself if I gotta. Could smash my face into a wall and call me a soul sucking whore for all I care. Jesus Christ, just give me more.”

[YOU’RE SO CLOSE YET SO FAR BUD.]

Jim’s fingertips dipped into the elastic of Corey’s boxers, dragging across the front between his hips, just barely brushing against his cock before the waistband snapped back against his skin. Corey yelped, heels of his palms digging into Jim’s collarbones. He had no doubt Jim was thoroughly enjoying this, but the joke wasn’t all that funny anymore. Wasn’t very funny to begin with, actually. 

“Fuck me, Peach please. Please, I’ll do fucking anything. Just quit doing that.”

Suddenly Corey’s back was against the sheets again, Jim sliding back off the bed to tear his boxers down and toss them in some vague direction (he was only really going for away.) He nudged Corey’s legs apart and kneed back up between them, fingers curling around his cock. Corey’s hips immediately jerked up into the contact and he let out a hiss. Good god, he was so fucking sensitive he wanted to die. He made a noise that sounded more like a sob than anything, grabbing at Jim’s wrist. If he stopped he was going to scream but if he kept it up Corey was about to be launched into space and land on fucking Neptune. 

“Was that really so hard?” Jim questioned, and yeah. Maybe it was. Getting Corey to ask nice instead of being a colossal brat was like pulling teeth from an alligator. Fortunately for Jim, he was currently on a one way flight to the next realm. It was a little harder to keep all that up in the moment. 

Another “please” was all Corey managed— clearly asking for something else, something more— but Jim couldn’t just let him have that. 

“See, now you’re getting the hang of it!”

[Jim: See I can be an asshole too]

Corey snaked his arms around Jim’s neck, pulling him down to eye level. “Is it your goal in life to be a giant fucking pain in the ass?”

[Yes. That and buy a bike.]

“As much as it is yours, baby.” Jim laughed, nuzzling against Corey’s cheek. He mouthed little kisses against his jaw, slowly stroking him, pulling a frustrated growl from somewhere deep in his chest. 

He clawed at Jim’s shoulders, threading his hand through Jim’s hair and tugging back hard. More than anything, he was just trying to keep himself some semblance of centered. It wasn’t working very well. “Fucking hell. More, give me more. Give me your hands.”

Jim lifted his gaze, meeting Corey’s eyes, staring at him blankly. 

“Please.”

The grip around Corey’s cock let up and he groaned again at the loss of friction. It was gonna take next to nothing to make him fall apart. Callused fingers fingers slip up his torso and caught on his bottom lip, still kissed and swollen. “I’ll do that for you, but you might have to remind me how you earned it.”

Corey barely let him finish before he had his lips wrapped around two digits, working his tongue along them. He held onto Jim’s wrist, forcing them back and making himself gag hard. At this point, he didn’t care what it took. Besides, it was either keep his mouth busy or run it anyway. He flashed a look back up at Jim, batting his lashes and making sure to give him a little show before finally pulling off and kissing his fingertips. Is that wasn’t enough, then he didn’t know what the fuck would be.

And thank fucking buddha Jim’s mouth was enveloping his own just a moment later, one of his thighs being pushed back for a better angle and some leverage as Jim’s other hand slid between his legs. Slick fingers pressed against his entrance, drawing a pathetic noise from his throat, his legs twitching in eager anticipation. 

The first eased in, sunk home, and Corey could have sworn he saw the light in that moment. Glitter and gold and pearly gates, fluffy white clouds, and giant fucking bearpaw hands that were holding his entire fucking being in their palms. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to that— Jim being that big. I mean sure, his dick alone could take out a whole city easily, but it was all of him. Limbs and chest and hips and hands. Oh good god, his hands. Say what you want about how dumb and awkward he was otherwise, but he always knew exactly what he was doing with his hands. 

[HE DO BE LANKY AND AWKWARD. Also I still can’t help but think of how weird his hands are. Like they’re so SMALL in proportion to the rest of him but they’re still HUGE. James what the fuck is that shit.]

 Corey moaned into the mouth locked with his own as Jim started to pump in and out of him, the stretch nearly impossible feeling for just one finger. Maybe it was that he was already desperate, ready to burst, that had him so beyond himself. Maybe it was just the fact that Jim knew exactly how to poke and prod to make him start to come apart at the seams. 

He started to relax more, lean into it (or as best as he could with the weight on top of him.) Steady chants of ‘yes, yes, yes, more, fuck’ swarmed around whatever little bubble they’d been encapsulated in. Corey practically had Jim in a chokehold, holding him down as close as he could possibly get, foreheads pressed together. Completely and totally consumed. 

Another finger worked inside him, curling and twisting and scissoring him open, making him flutter around them and writhe to find just the right— 

“There, there. Don’t you dare stop. Holy shit.” Corey cried out, arching up off the mattress, holding onto Jim for dear life. “So fucking good. Feels so fucking good.”

Jim brushed his fingertips against Corey’s walls again, hitting that sweet spot and eliciting another borderline embarrassing moan. “Yeah, that’s it. Not so tough like this, are you? Fight so hard to get what you want and you still come undone for me just the same. Real good when you want to be, y’know.”

Whatever Corey wanted to say came out in an incoherent mumble— something something for you and something something damn lucky. His orgasm was already twisting and burning in the pit of his stomach, and his was still only very loosely tied to this realm. Beyond taken and fucked up and he loved every minute of it. 

[Fighting to the very end, even with fingers in his ass. Just shut up already you stupid slut.]

He couldn’t take his eyes off Jim as he wormed his way out of his grasp, sat back, spread his legs a little wider apart. He leaned down, and Corey was vaguely aware of him spitting before he felt like he was being properly split in two. A third digit joined the other two. God, it was almost too much. Impossibly full and tight and overwhelming, all thanks to James and his inhumanely big hands that were surely going to be Corey’s cause of death here one of these days. 

Corey couldn’t even breathe now, squeaking out another little plea for more, honed in on Jim like a deer in headlights. He knotted his hands up in the sheets, finally able to roll his hips and fuck himself against Jim’s hand without him pinning him in place. The blood rushing through his ears still wasn’t quite loud enough to drown out Jim’s encouragement— “So good, so pretty, look at you, perfect little slut. All mine. Come on baby, let me see you come.” 

That alone was enough to make Corey’s eyes roll back in his head, but one last perfect angle of his hips was what finally sent him over the edge. He came so hard his vision went fuzzy, limbs giving out as he spilled over his stomach and cried out, “Oh god, fuck daddy.”

[THERE IT IS. One of the terrible influences who shall not be named popped into my DMs like “Consider: unnegotiated honorary in a moment of carnal horny and then Jim just straight up CACKLES” and I was like well. Guess That’s Getting Throw In The Pile Too.] 

There was a minute of blank, overwhelmed and far away and completely beyond himself. Jim milked him through it, still working his fingers in and out as the aftershocks made him twitch and whimper, until he started to come back down again. Actually, the only thing that snapped him back to the here and now was realizing that Jim was laughing. Not just laughing, giggling like a goddamn school girl. 

You had to be fucking kidding. 

Corey reached out, attempting to smack him but missing entirely. “Fuck’s so funny?”

“Daddy? Dude. You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding right?” Jim dissolved into another fit of laughter, eyes scrunched up in a big grin. 

“Shut up. Shut your fucking mouth now. You don’t get to hold the shit I say when I come against me.” Corey huffed, sitting up on his elbows and trying to scoot away. Unlucky for him, Jim was still big enough to lean over him again and still be eye level. 

He pushed Corey’s hair back, pressing a kiss to his lips with a deep chuckle. “Quit your whining. You alright?”

Corey rolled his eyes, collapsing with a sigh and (albeit begrudgingly) circling his arms around Jim’s neck. “Mmm, peachy. Just shut up and cuddle me, you fucking demon. And you tell no one about that.”

[ANYWAY. This fic took me like three wholeass months or something so I hope it was worth it. There’s also a coinciding playlist that goes with this beast if you click on the AO3 link back at the top. Thank you for reading this disaster.] 

[kamari333]

What are the EMV skeletons' kinks?

Are you really asking me, in the year 2019 of our lord, to write out a list of sexual preferences for 14 fictitious skeleton monsters??

...because buddy chum friend pal I will DELIVER

...the first 9. I don’t know enough about the others to give a proper run down but I hope you likes this. Remind me to break down the others later.

Warning, this is both explicit and a bit disorganized.

^_^

Comic is into stuff that doesn’t require him to move all that much, but he slowly realizes he has a bit of a clothes fetish. Socks... lingerie... uniforms... he likes looking at his partner and appreciating how good they look. He also has a thing for his partner wearing his clothes, and wearing his partners in turn. He is honestly pretty vanilla otherwise (if you dont count the hand thing). He also likes public displays of affection.

Blue largely just likes being touched, and appreciated, the slower and more sensual the better. He might have a hand kink now too (thanks comic you pervert). But he also has a Roleplay kink. He especially likes taking on roles of high esteme or reverence, like Doctor or Pharaoh or Father (the religious kind not the parent). Its not about power for him, its about respect and recognition. He wants to be told he did a good job in the end. Sometimes he likes some really wacky roles though, like a giant squid or a tall building or a shiny bauble that is being admired or revered. If he can make his partner laugh in the process that just turns him on more because laughter is a big kink now too.

As you could probably guess, a game of D&D would probably be one big ass stint of foreplay for these two, especially if Blue went all out with a costume. As such, they aren’t allowed to sit next to each other on game nights because there is a risk of them starting a makeout session mid-game.

Stretch is into smoke play. And choking. And shower sex. He also really likes getting high or drunk or drugged and being "taken advantage of" by his partner (he puts a lot of faith in his mate ok he trusts pretty hard). He likes doing the choking too. And he likes pinning them down and degrading them. He also has a big scars kink and likes to lick and bite them (maybe leave a few of his own if they dont mind). Likes to take possession and play master for a bit, but thats left behind in the bedroom (despite almost never actually using a bedroom). He has an oral fixation.

Slim likes to tease, and taunt, and rile his partner up. He likes watching his partner go from zero to eighty as quickly as possible. He likes smoke play too, and choking, and public play. He’s into service and doesn’t mind being used like a toy. If he’s put into the position of the top he’s gonna get off making his partner come over and over and over, until he wears himself out and curls up around them. He’s a masochist, but thanks to his shitty fell type universe he’s super hesitant to trust anyone enough to indulge in that until they prove their loyalty. But once he’s comfortable he likes knife play and cigarette burns and anything except pain with his jaw or teeth. Although tongues and kisses and things that need licked are welcome. he is always up for some food play too.

These two are honestly a hot mess but there is some deep trust between them at the end of the day. Nobody can say they don’t wanna do their best for the other.

Lust is down with nearly anything, as long as he and his partner love each other. Its easier to list his No’s than his kinks. He definitely leans more towards being a sub but he occasionally gets a craving to dom, and when he does he wants to drive his partner crazy and watch them fall apart at the seams until they pass out under (or on top of) him. As a sub, Lust is especially partial to impact play, praise, degradation, multiple penetration, overstim, choking, rough sex in general, knife play, and sounding. He likes being filled and he likes being used. He likes being told he was good or bad so long as he knows its coming out of love. He wants to feel his partners hands, tongue, teeth (especially teeth, he loves being bitten~), anything on him hours later and he wants to show off to anyone he comes across. He’s big into exhibition. PDA. And commitment: a major turn on is his partner acting or looking domestic in any capacity. He has a voice kink. He likes being held. And being told or shown he’s loved or wanted. Its honestly not hard to turn him on.

Red’s biggest kink is praise. He lives to hear he did good. Hell, just being asked to do something by his partner is enough to fluster him. In pavlovic fashion, he developed a specific noise kink (jingle jingle bitch) because the very idea of his partner being aroused or happy or loved or taken care of is intoxicating to him. He loves to obey provide for his partner like a proper master. He loves to serve take care of his partner. He loves to be a comfort. He is the subbiest fucking sub to ever sub but he associates all these things with domination and being the dom in the relationship. He enjoys kissing and licking and biting his partner, but only if they like it when he does so. He loves it when his hands can bring his partner to orgasm. He gets off making his partner come, making them scream and shake with how good it feels (how good he is doing). He would never admit it even to himself but he likes being blindfolded and tied up and pet. He is weak for kisses, and petting, and gentle affection. And if his partner gives him head, them swallowing is a big turn on too. But even if it isn’t his kink, Red is willing to do just about anything (even if it should be a hard no for him, like pain play) for his partner, and he’ll probably find pleasure in it because he’s doing it for them and that is the biggest rush of all.

Dance is into control. He wants that high of knowing exactly how all the pieces fit, orchestrating every last detail and coming to the exact end result he was aiming for. Every scene must be a well planned rube goldburg machine. His partner moves when he says they can move, they scream when he says they can scream, they come when he says they can come. Dance wants full responsibility for every little detail in that room and he wants the satisfaction of knowing he made it a good experience for his partner, that he made them happy, that he made them come. Dance wants the power, and it drives him crazy when his partner obeys, when they like what he makes happen. The more unruly or powerful he perceives his partner to be, the more satisfaction Dance gets when they submit to his will. Dance is also a sadist, especially liking bondage, impact play, temperature play, edging, overstim, and asphyxiation. He isn’t into degradation, preferring positive reinforcement. On a related note, while he enjoys punishments as much as rewards, Dance prefers not to use pain as a punishment. He’ll use it to get his submissive’s attention, or just to keep them occupied while he talks, but not as an actual punishment (unless his submissive chooses it for themselves). On the few rare occasions he gives up his control, he likes feeling safe and warm and protected, being held, especially by someone he perceives as powerful. He has a secret masochistic streak and likes being bitten or scratched by his partner, either while trusting them to care for him or while he’s making them submit to his will. Dance also has a scent kink. He likes wearing his partners clothes because it smells like them. And he has a taste kink. He loves sucking his partner dry and having their flavor in the back of this throat hours later. The taste of watermelon and grape without any other context are now turn ons for him. He shares that domestic kink with Lust. He also has a thing for somno, for being trusted to take full control like that. Being the jealous type, and in direct opposition to his shy nature, Dance gets a visceral satisfaction from showing off in public to others that his submissive is his, although whether or not this is a kink or just an extention of his performer’s nature is up in the air.

These fucking dumpster fire boys fit so goddamn well together jfc. I just. I love them. So much. Look at how thise pieces fit. I love them.

Suave is a performer at heart. He wants to be admired. So a big thing for him is getting the opportunity to perform. He likes dancing and strip teases and being able to get his partner’s attention. He likes being on top. He likes touching his partner’s erogenous zones. He likes making his partner scream and shake and come, likes when he has proof that he is the one that they are deriving pleasure from. He eventually develops a scars kink for no particular reason. He has a uniform kink and likes a powerful partner with demanding tastes who still prefers him to anyone else. He wants that rush of being wanted. He likes seeing his partner get flustered. He especially enjoys when either the sight or sound of him is what turns his partner on without any physical stimulation, likes seeing them squirm, unable or unwilling to touch themselves but clearly wanting to be touched because he is just that damn alluring. He has an edging kink.

Razz likes being served. He likes when his partner does things for him. He likes being given a show and he likes being worshiped. Razz especially likes hearing his partner’s voice, no matter how much he might tell them to shut the hell up. He likes gentle touches and he likes being held safe by his partner. He has a thing for big tall handsome people. He also likes making his partner scream and come, likes to command them to come while he watches them masturbate, or ride his dick, or rut against his fingers or a toy he is holding. He likes it even more if they beg for his help to finish. He is into bondage, especially shibari both giving and receiving. He likes oral both giving and receiving. He is weak for massages and praise, especially when he’s called a title of command. He is partial to “master”.

God these two are fucking amazing too jfc look at them.

[newgeht]

16, 23, and 49: Merik, sterza, and graytear in that order 👀

So I had a ton of fun writing these! Especially the Sterza one, medieval AUs always give me life. Cutting it off after the Merik, otherwise thise post will be super long LMAO

Merik - “We aren’t even friends!”

“We aren’t even friends!” Erik growled out, pulling his arm from Meredy. “Now leave me alone, will you?” He took a sip of his bleach cocktail, very uninterested in the maguility mage. They were supposed to be scoping this dingy place out and as always, the maguility mage took things too far.

She was very drunk and very annoying, two things that shouldn’t be combined. “That’s not what you said last night,” she hiccuped, inching closer to him.

Erik sputtered and clasped his hand over Meredy’s mouth. In a low hiss, he whispered into her ear, “Watch your tongue, candy. I’m not in the mood to put up with this shit right now.” He shifted so no one could see them. He could barely see under the dim lights of the bar, but it didn’t mean that no one was watching.

He could feel her lithe tongue against his hand and he let go, wiping her saliva on her sleeve. Her blue eyes were dreamy, her body swaying to the beat. “Ok, ok. But you know Jelly said to keep an eye on me. And all you’ve been interested in is that putrid drink in front of you.” She sloppily gestured to the tonic.  

But she was wrong. His single eye was always on her. And if he wasn’t, he was always hiding in the outskirts of her mind.

Sterza -“I will beat the title of ‘prince’ right the hell out of you!”

Erza was furious. This was the last time she would let Sting out of her sight. Anytime they were in public, he managed to slip away from her grasp. His escape always led him to trouble, whether it be with girls or getting into a fight.

She believed that as his bodyguard, (escort, or whatever you’d like to call it) she was supposed to be on duty until the king released her. And yet, she wished she could be kicked from this job. It was too much to look after the Prince of Fiore. And he wasn’t much fun to hang around either.

“Sting!” She called out, holding her hand over her mouth. “I will beat the title of ‘prince’ right the hell out of you! Get back here right this instant!”

A pair of hands were placed over her eyes and she fumed. Now was not the time to be playing games, “Remove your hands from my sight, you scoundrel.”

Though the body didn’t listen, Erza could feel her stomach drop ten stories. What a pervert! In one fell swoop, she turned and smashed her steel gloved hand against a familiar head of blonde hair.

“Ow!” Sting groaned, holding his head. “I was only trying to have some fun, princess of knights.” He teased, a familiar toothy grin growing on his face. “Lighten up a little, will ya? No one’s ever gonna give you a kiss if you act like this.”

At the mention of a kiss, Erza blushed. She couldn’t help it, but romantic affairs always made her so flustered. “I-I’ve gotten a kiss before. Don’t assume such things.”

Another thing, she was very bad at lying. She squirmed when Sting came closer, eyeing her with those sparkling blue eyes.

His toothy grin flared into a devious grin. “Oh yeah, then show me. Your future king demands it.”

He brought his face closer, puckering his lips obnoxiously. And the knight couldn’t help herself, she smacked him with her iron gauntlet. A third strike and Sting would have been down for the count.

He stumbled back, rubbing his face. “I should have expected that.”

“No kidding,” she said curtly. “Now, we have things to complete before the sun falls. No more games, prince.”

“Ugh… Being a prince is too much work.” He laughed his rejection off, but little did she know he would keep trying.

Graytear - “I’m begging you.”

He never expected Crime Sorciere to show up to the GMGs or be a part of the aftermath. Mostly because he didn’t want to see her. That violet haired woman, the daughter of his caretaker -Ultear. Her red orbs haunting him, following him into darkest fantasies or most joyous dreams. It infuriated him how much she was in his thoughts.

Gray had thought he would never see her after Tenrou, but here she was; fighting annoying dragon babies. These miniature versions of the real dragons kept coming in wave after wave. He was losing stamina, and he didn’t think he would last much longer. But Ultear kept him going, he couldn’t see her go down by them.

But then they got separated, Gray had been in search of Ultear ever since he noticed. But the more he looked, the more he felt time was running out for their sake.

“Ultear,” he called, his throat raw from yelling. The current commotion wasn’t in his throat’s favor, he ripped through those loud explosions and fights going on around him.

Was it possible, she got crushed by falling debris? He shook his head, stepping over rubble. That wasn’t possible, someone so strong would never receive that fate. Gripping his necklace, he prayed that it wouldn’t happen -that he would see the dark haired beauty one more time.

Rounding a corner, he could see the outline of a figure kneeling amongst the fallen walls of various buildings. “Ultear?” His voice a crisp whisper.

She stirred, those signature white bows glistening in the given light. He felt lighthearted to see her once again, hastily making his was through the crushed terrain. “I thought you… What happened?…” She looked past him, not focusing on him. “Are you ok?”

“Gray!” With a flick of her wrist, everything slowed. Hope had shone in those red eyes, but he knew he couldn’t be saved.

A burning sensation could be felt against his bare back, sending small waves of his pain. But then it became more concentrated, that searing heat coming drawn to his abdomen. Then it spread through him, his stomach torn from the beam of energy that him. A shot of blue escaping from his insides, blood spewing everywhere.

It felt like a lifetime as his body fell to the floor, he was dying. Ultear made quick work of those draconic-creatures, falling to her knees. “Gray,” she pulled his hand over the gaping hole, tears already rushing down her face. “Freeze it, please. We can fix this,” she sobbed.

But he wouldn’t comply, his magic reserves were gone. He grunted as he tried, not one drop of magic left. He wished he could see her smiling again, Gray didn’t want to see Ultear in a state such as this. “Go, Ultear. Go help everyone else, I’m just one person.”

She shook her head, pulling him into her lap. Everything began to go dark at that moment, the world becoming fuzzy. All he could see was light, bright and warm. Though screams of terror rung in his ears, and the sobbing of Ultear.

As he fell away, he could feel a greater power being drawn to him. Something from the bounds in which he could control. And from there everything reversed.

The next thing he knew, he awoke in a hospital bed. Those he called family, watching over his state. But he was just with Ultear, wasn’t he? He was supposed to be dead, unless everyone else succumbed to the dragons.

They were in relief to see him awake. Once he had eaten, they explained they found him unconscious on the battlefield, next to a white ribbon.

His window of reality was shattered in that moment. She did exactly what Ur did, sacrificed herself for him. But he couldn’t accept the fact, Gray was lost.

His time had ended with her.

[poppyknitt]

Collapse- A JSE Egos Fanfic

**WARNING: Yes I know this one begins with a joke in the recap but that’s because the final four to five fics of The Unraveling are super duper tense and have a fair bit of violence in them, and what better way to make it a bit less serious than to make a stupid joke? Also yeah just by the way if you get triggered by violence and slight gore you might not wanna read these final four or five. Especially the last three. Those are pretty heavy in violence. Just... overall proceed at your own risk kind of stuff.

(The Unraveling will have, at least, 15-16 parts. Maybe 14 if I scrap today’s fic. It will end when the Anti’s Birthday Special ends. From there, everything will be relative free real estate for me, so expect less violence, at least, until like, maybe november or december. I dunno. Depends on how long my sanity can survive on just emotion and character-sanity-based angst.)

——————————————————

Recap: Marvin’s plans are proceeding fairly well, as so far, he has managed to gain control of two other egos, Jackieboyman and Chase, indirectly driving Signe out of the picture in the process, and has presumably done some other stuff that we don’t know yet. Seriously, I don’t even know. I’m literally writing most of this out as I come up with it. Now the four remaining egos wait in fearful silence, doing their absolute best to hold everything together as the uncertainty of what Dark, Anti, and/or Marvin may do next drives them all to desperate measures. Will Henrik be able to escape the future foretold by Seán’s dreams? Will Marvin realize what he’s doing before it’s too late? Will Robbie ever manage to help JJ and Henrik heal from the traumatic experiences they had when they were Anti’s puppets before it’s too late for them? Will Seán be able to stop Marvin? Will JJ and Chase ever get to see the full beauty of the night sky when no lights within at least a 100-kilometer-radius are on? Find out on thise episode of Seán-y Ball J!

Previous Fic

Next Fic

[October 8th, 7AM]

JJ looked to Henrik one last time before the doctor went to work.

“Are... Are you sure you’re okay to bring them in on your own, Henrik..? I.. I know your scars have been bugging you recently...” JJ signed worriedly to the doctor. Henrik had begrudgingly asked the younger ego to assist him with getting Chase and Jackie out to the car that morning once he realized he wasn’t going to be able to do it alone, because of the recently-reagitated scars he had initially recieved back during his 9-month vacation.

“No, JJ. I have assistants to help me vith zhat. You finish getting your morning routine over vith, and zhen you and Robbie vill go to Seán’s house, and spend zhe day zhere, since, vithout Chase, zhere is no one else vith zhe luxury or time to stay here and make sure Marvin does not harm you two, yes?” Henrik said. JJ would have objected, however, he knew Henrik wasn’t asking, at least, not this time. He went back inside as Henrik drove off to the hopsital, only to be “ambushed” by a glomp from Robbie as soon as he walked ten paces from the front door. The tackle-hug sent poor JJ to the ground, but thankfully, the landing wasn’t really all that painful.

“Robbie, what on earth did you have to hug me so violently for?” He signed, even though the zombie probably couldn’t see it.

“Jamie look sad. Mavvy used to say hug make sad better. So I hug Jamie. Jamie happy now?” Robbie explained.

“... Will you let me go eat my breakfast if I say yes?”

“Yes. Do not want to keep Jamie from food. Hunger not pleasant.” Robbie said, provoking a small, genuine smile from JJ.

“Okay. I’m happy now, see?” He pointed to his face, and Robbie smiled, letting go of the older ego. JJ stood up, and helped his brother up, too, before going to the kitchen to get himself some food.

Honestly, aside from having to help Henrik with getting Jackie and Chase’s unconscious bodies into the doctor’s car, the morning had been fairly normal for JJ. He’d gotten up, put on daytime-appropriate clothes(though, it was pretty much the same basic outfit he worr every day), gone to Robbie’s room to check on him, walked downstairs and made sure Henrik had gotten enough coffee and food, gotten hugged(though, be fair, this one was a little more violent than the regular hugs he got) by Robbie until he smiled, and got himself some breakfast. Had it not been for Jackie and Chase’s unfortunate ...situations.., he probably would have gone to check on them, too. Actually, speaking of which, Chase had been unusually quiet this morning. JJ didn’t seem to remember the locator’s screen lighting up as text slowly appeared on the screen even once since he went to sleep last night.

It wasn’t until he heard Marvin’s voice behind him that he realized not asking Henrik if he could take the two of them to Seán’s house on his way to work was a bad idea.

“It’s good to see you again, Jameson.”

~~~~

Jackie did his best to help Henrik and the other staff at the hospital get Chase set up with life support and such, but of course, since his vision was still heavily clouded by whatever spells Marvin had used on him, the most he could do was help stabilize the equipment. When they were done with that, Jackie went over to the empty bed in the room they had been placed in, and sat there silently, as still as a statue, if you ignored the slow movements of his chest as he breathed.

He listened to a couple of nurses conversing with Henrik beyond the now-closed door, having nothing else to do.

“What should we do about the one that is still able to move around?”

“Surely he’s stable enough to continue to stay with you, or perhaps even his family?”

“Vell, at zhe moment, yes, he is stable. But I am afraid he has been treading the line between zhat stability and instability since he vas... attacked. I do not fear for him vhen he is awake, however, I am afraid his brain likes to vander into and out of unconsciousness as much as he did vhen he vas here last. He has not shown signs of needing life support vhen zhis does happen, as it never lasts longer zhen a few hours, but I do not vant to take zhe risk zhat he vill not get vorse.”

“What about their eyes? Is their condition a result of some sort of horrible, undiscovered disease?”

“No, no. Notzhing of zhe sort. I am afraid zhat zheir conditions are not somezhing ve can heal vith medicine. Ve can only vait, vait and hope zhey get better.”

Well, at least the doc had some faith that he would heal.

~~

[12PM]

JJ stood between Marvin and Robbie, his eyes wide with fear as Chase desperately tried to figure out a way to save them without violence, since none of them really wanted to hurt Marvin. Initially, Marvin’s intentions had clearly been nothing more than to sit down and have a friendly little chat between two friends, like old times. JJ had foolishly accepted the proposal, wanting to believe that maybe Marvin had decided that he had caused enough destruction and pain.

That idea had only changed when Marvin refused to let the two leave for Seán’s house.

———

JJ struggled against the Magician’s grip, his eyes wide as he realized just how much of a mistake it had been to stay in the house as long as they had once Henrik left. Robbie was hiding behind him, as Marvin’s painfully strong grip on his arm prevented him from leaving.

“Please, Marvin! You don’t have to do this! I- We were just trying to go to the park, I promise!” JJ signed desperately, tears of pain threatening to spill from his tear ducts at any second. Marvin briefly narrowed his eyes at the younger ego, before loosening his grip on his arm just enough so that it wasn’t painful, but was still strong enough to keep him there.

“Sorry, Jamie. I’m afraid it’s too dangerous for you to leave. I’m sure Seán would understand why you didn’t come if you told him you had to stay because we were afraid that Anti would be prowling outside, waiting for you to leave, so he could capture you again.” Marvin smiled. For some reason, something in the back of his mind that sounded a whole lot like Chase told JJ that he could trust Marvin. He relaxed a bit, thinking that Chase had figured out how to communicate with him without using the locator.

“... I... Okay. We’ll stay here, Marvin... Just... let me go, okay..?” He signed, still a bit terrified.

“Good. I’m glad that you two still trust me.” Marvin’s face read nothing more than pure happiness and gratitude as he spoke.

———

“I gave you a choice, Jameson. You still have time to change your mind, you know.” Marvin said, his eyes entirely emotionless, as the threatening purple aura of magic surrounding him pulsated strongly. He had been storing magic since he took control of Jackie, because he knew the confrontation with Anti he had planned was going to require much more magic than he’d ever even used in his entire two years of existence.

“I won’t help you, Marvin! What you want to do is wrong, regardless of the fact that we have the same enemy! You’re only going to be making yourself out to be as bad as him if you go through with this!” JJ signed, still protectively blocking Marvin from getting to Robbie. He realized that he probably shouldn’t have said that last part as soon as Marvin responded, and braced himself for whatever came next.

“Fine! Have it your way, then!” Marvin spat angrily, and before JJ could even realize what was happening, Marvin had used some unknown kind of spell to violently slam the younger ego into a wall, dazing him instantly.

Robbie yelled for JJ, and begged Marvin to stop, but he was just shoved aside as well, hitting the wall head on with a sickening CRACK!. JJ ran to the now-unconscious form of the zombie, wishing he could scream for Robbie to get up, too terrified and dazed to sign to anyone or anything at this point. He scrambled back into a corner with Robbie cradled in his arms, tears flowing down his face, as Marvin approached his shaken form.

“I’m sorry, Jameson.” Was the last thing he heard, before his brain briefly exploded into a frenzy of pain, as everything went black.

~~

Jackie’s eyes snapped open, bringing his consciousness back into the physical plane as he felt a brief jab of pain envelope his brain. Something in the back of his mind told him something was seriously wrong, so, on instinct, he got up, and half-blindedly made his way out of the room. The hallway was mostly empty, as the nurses and doctors were mostly checking up on other patients or in the ER or something. He made his way a bit hap-hazardly up the stairs, using the astral plane to send a message to the locator he knew was with Henrik as he did so.

“Henrik! I’m heading to your office now! I need you to be ready! It’s urgent!”

“Vhat?! Vhy?! Jackie, I told you to stay in zhe room ve gave you!” The response came fairly quickly.

“No time to explain. I’ll tell you more when I get to you!”

Once he got to Schneep’s office, he knocked urgently on his door.

“Vait! Be patient, Jackie! I am coming!” He heard the muffled voice of the doctor through the door. With each passing moment, Jackie only got increasingly anxious about what could possibly be happening back at the Egos’ house right now.

~~~~

Seán slammed the door to the Ego’s house open, not even bothering to shut it as he frantically searched the place for any sign that JJ and Robbie were alright. It didn’t take him long to find them, luckily, but that was because the room they were in looked like someone had set a bomb off in it, and they were huddled up together in a corner. Robbie was half-awake, clinging desperately onto the unconscious form of his dapper brother, just like he had been in the most recent iteration of the hospital dream. The only difference between this and the dream, however, was that neither of them appeared to be under a mind control spell like Jackie and Chase were.

As he called the hospital, the only thing Seán could think of was how he could have prevented this if he had decided to come check on them when he realized it was two hours after the time they had set for when they would get there by- JJ was never late- instead of just brushing it off as them having a slow morning.

——————————————————

Part Twelve of

The Unraveling

(A very big chapter in a slightly darker version of the Jacksepticeye & Markiplier Egoverse)

Part Thirteen

@antis-loyal-puppet

@chaoticcrimsonrose

@septic-dr-schneep

@spaceykidd0

@tiny-septic-puppet

[infinitydoublevenus]

I need to vent about this. I’m so angry and upset right now. Edit: added content warnings

When I was around 15 years old, I was transferred from one school to the one I used to go to. This was as per my own request because I felt I was being psychologically manipulated and bullied by the teachers at my other school.

However, going to a new school didn’t make it any better. It only made things worse. It turned out that my old school had been turned into a “special needs” school. It was one of those schools with Restraint and Seclusion.

But the thing is, no one told me about this before it happened. No one even told my mom. I got so upset during art class due to my depression that I ran out of the rom. Now usually if I ran out of a classroom, I could just sit in the hallway and the teachers would try to calm me down. It was not so with this school.

They literally chased me all the way to the gym before one of the male teachers who was much lager than me literally pinned me down against the floor.  I could not breathe. I felt as if my back was being crushed underneath some sort of pile of cinderblocks. I panicked and started telling him to get off of me, I can’t breathe. I told him I have a pacemaker incision in my stomach (which is true) and that if he kept doing this he could very well kill me. He told me I was “probably making that up so I’ll get off of you, I’ve heard those kinds of excuses before”. Ex-fucking-scuse me, but YOU’RE NOT MY FUCKING DOCTOR. And it is NOT OKAY to just dismiss someone when they tell you they have a disability or a condition that needs accomodated for.

I think I still have trauma from that. I had a dream a few nights ago after thinking about it that I was underwater and couldn’t breathe, and my spine was being crushed to the breaking point by a wooden fence that was built under the ocean. My spine came thise close | | to breaking in half in that dream.

After that, they said they “didn’t know I had a pacemaker”. First of al, the nurse was supposed to tell all of my teachers. Second of all, I myself told them I did, but did they give a single shit about MY testimony? Fuck no!

They changed the way they did the restraints for me, but they still did restraint and seclusion. They would grab my arms until it felt like they were about to break, squish my face against a door so hard I thought my nose was broken, slam me against the wall in the back of the seclusion room, and practically literally throw me in there. They even lifted my feet off the floor one time, I swear to God they did, but when the police got involved they said they didn’t see that on the security cameras. Okay, then why the FUCK do I have an almost vivid memory of it? They would ignore my begging for them to let go of me, they would ignore my screaming and shouting and yelling because I was desperate for them to let go of me. I thought they were going to break my bones or kill me. It HURT. But did they care? Of fucking course not! They even saw me being restrained and did NOTHING about it! Sure it’s legal, but goddamnit, it’s still abusive! If I was a police officer I would have fucking wrangled with those teachers even if I got fired!

So naturally when they put me in the seclusion room with the door locked shut, I screamed my lungs out.Because what else was I supposed to do? They didn’t provide anything to calm down with, just a white room too small for a BABY to have anything to do in. There was only one window and it was so small you could barely see anything. How the hell am I supposed to calm down without venting my feelings out via art or using a sensory toy? Oh but they didn’t know, because did they bother to even fucking ASK what would calm me down first? No! No they didn’t!

And THEN I was forced to write down what “I” did to get in trouble. They blamed ME for being restrained. Restraint was ONLY supposed to be used for kids who were being dangerous. AndI mean legitimately dangerous - like kids who threw things or tried to kick people. What did I do that got me restrained, you ask? I SLEPT AT MY FUCKING DESK BECAUSE I WAS A SLEEP DEPRIVED TEENAGER. I refused to read a book because the suicide scene would have triggered my depression. I argued with a teacher with NO PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, just WORDS. So apparently, any act of rebellion is to be punished now. Fucking great.

Anyways, I screamed my lungs out in there for them to let me out, I pounded on the door, I couldn’t think straight because I was traumatized and angry and frustrated and confused. I cried my eyeballs out until my tear ducts went dry. This whole scenario was part of why I lost my faith in Christianity. I prayed my ass off that somehow God would let me out of there, but did anything happen? No, because apparently “God” didn’t give a SHIT about me!  I still would have become an atheist, because their arguments just make so much more sense to me, but this definitely factored into it. The moment I first doubted God’s existence was in that horrible empty room.

And getting tired of the screaming- I can’t blame them for getting tired of it but this is inexcusable - I had told one of the teachers I thought I had misophonia (it actually turned out to be my Sensory Processing Disorder, but it has the same symptom)  she started pounding repeatedly on the window just to aggravate me. And then I told her, stop it, that’s hurting my ears. I told her, I’m pretty sure I have misophonia and you’re aggravating it. And then SHE had the gall to tell me that “you don’t have misophonia”. Again, You’re not my fucking doctor you ass-for-brains!

I went to a therapist because I was so sressed out about what happened. I told him EVERYTHING I just wrote down here, and all he said was “you should change your behavior uwu” WHAT THE FUCK YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE A THERAPIST. MY PARENTS WASTED THEIR MONEY ON YOU YOU GOD DAMN QUACK.

I almost got sent to the seclusion room again that year and I swear to God I had a straight up flashback. Like PTSD or something. I’m not diagnosed, I don’t know. But that’s what it felt like. It almost happened a second time that year, I panicked and told the teachers I would fight if they came any closer. Can you blame me? I had a panic attack because of all the bullshit they put me through last year!

Restraint and seclusion is abusive. If a normal school can just send a kid home when they’re being dangerous, then SO CAN THE “SPECIAL NEEDS” ONES. If a man grabbed his wife by the arms, slammed her face into a door, and then threw her into an empty room and locked her there for an entire day, everyone would consider it buse. So why does no one give a single shit when it comes to disabled people? Oh I know why, because we’re a “burden to society” and they don’t give a crap about what we think, so when they want to learn how to teach us they’re too lazy to do any reliable fucking research!

I don’t give a shit that this is legal, it SHOULDN’T BE in ANY STATE, COUNTRY OR ANYWHERE ELSE ON EARTH. I can’t stand my limbs being held even gently now thanks to all of this shit. I can’t stand closed spaces anymore because of this shit. I can’t trust authority figures no matter how much I want to or how nice they seem all because of this stupid ass restraint and seclusion bullshit.  

I’m 99% sure I have PTSD now, but does anyone care? Apparently not, because my mom thinks I should just “get over it” because it’s “in the past” so she probably won’t be taking me to a doctor to get diagnosed anytime soon!

Tl;dr: If you support restraint and seclusion, 1. Get off my blog and 2. Fuck you. 

[the-reactionist]

begging

for some reason [US's crazy fear-based policy to not trust easter European states with their internet privacy stuff] i can't write emails so i am posting personal stuff here; sorry MESSAGE: i have to post more often here as writing about issues helps me resolve them and understand them deeply; i never find the time ad strength/energy to; i need to make it my priority, though, because i can; i have the power too, so i’m obliged to do so;the pain whe delving in the wounds by teal swan’s methods, is too large to handle, though; she mst have bee treated real horribly to have that incapacity to relax within herself; because healig hppens with time; nd time ca heal anything; yet she is so restless in her death-cult-leader-scapegoat programming, that she has no time to deal with her issues and overcome them fully from within, to embrace her trauma and demonstarte to us her teachings emodied - what it looks liek to have overcomeyour trauma, physically; nd that is what we need; because ppl like myself, we follow, by example; so teal, your followers who have pened up not merely their minds but their hearts to your presence, need you to heal your inner child and go to other levels of expressing the truths you are embodying, because you don’t have time, ad we don’t have time, physically, to wait our entire lives; i have seen a decline in your activity and i saw a short fb video two or three years ago inw hich you explained you need to work more closely to the people so you are changing your course of teaching/actions; but i think that being i the flashlights IS what you have the power to be doing; beign amidst all the controversy;and i think that you still have lingering uresolved childhood torture and unimaginable abuse trauma; but i eed you to overcome it; i’m dying,i can’t hndle my issues and i need you because you are strg, you have before, and you can; PLEASE, be there for me, and please, teach me; i love you and i trust you, and moreover i do believe in you; please teach me in your ways btu the things i need for my expansion and development, which i feel is not simply mie but is the communnity’s; you are capable of leading us to the next levels; which is owning pour realities and being masters to the extent we all individually can; please do that for me/and others whi are erady for your hardcore strength ~thank you i feel like ale, a lot - when he pursued you, teal, and you didn't look at him at first, because of disbelief, i suppose; i am ready for you and i want you both for my and your sake; it is actual bonding, and i am not even joking - i mean it; iu know you are always asking your audience for questions to make videos on; and i am trying to write from years, but i can't; so instead i created blogs and fb groups, and pages, all related to your teachigns and how i interpret them for my life, ad how they help me grow; i need to work more completely with your mind, because when combining other spiritual philosophers' calmness with your catalystic power and depth, and structure/ logic of understanding, i become completely different - empowered to unbelieveable extent https://the-reactionist.tumblr.com/post/187233997680/benevolence-unconditional-love-the-innate i am sorry i have not enough money to buy your things - meditations, courses, workshop passes, retreats; i know they cost very little, but i can't hndle my life and i am not financially independent; but i love you, i want you to experience i 3d your fullest potential and capacity ebcause you rock, you help me every time, so i beg, please somehow connect to me in the spiritual plane so i can give you the srengths i am carrrying to hep you resolve, in time, your leftover past trauma - and it's a lot, i see it still, so that you can rock on life as you want to, and not keep stuck in these patterns of self-mistrust and victimhood, and powerlessness; you are gREAT, but unlike many of us - literally; and i am very very excited by you, on every single level,so you truly catalyze change i me, on a molecular, subconscious, sexual, physical, and though levels - hi5 for dat! because i'm hardcore too, eyt you manage to get through to me; i need you more, though, because i am workig with a lot of trauma myself; i have bee put in psychiatries by my parents because i started speakig about things they don't want to hear and maybe it wasn't tiem for them to; but sorry to be so hones - i see in you a sort of restlessness that is not helping the peoplewho depend on you to be helped and uided on our ow journeys/paths through reality; and you can help us; many more than you are targeting presently, in fact; your inner child feels unheard ad unexpressed, though, so in my view you still act a little irresponssibly, exerting your powerfulness in ways which are uhealthy and not deep enough/mature/rooted; maybe i'm too needy, as i have been to my mother, to my loved one, to my spiritual teacher/sect leader/first sexual partner,and i am to you now too, but i am needy, i am human, i am breaking - in body, and i spirit sometimes; im sorry; i am truly breaking/soft. and i think this is the genuine human condition; and i liek your power but i NEED to be protected by it to be fully myself and give MY gift to the wrld -w hich is mthering, care, heartful compassion and being there and holding space, but from the heart-space, not physically, and not so mcuh mentally, because i am not very educated in philosphies, and i have poor strength in that faculty; i am more basic, primitive, and i dont really feel ashamed by that; i am the powerful people's job, as the tao te chig goes; so i beg you - i can't do with teachings i the way your power/energy demands; there are thse whi are that physically strgn, but i aint; and i can't be; peopel have tried to train me but i'm too connected with teh feminiity and teh earth aspects of human beings to be able to overcome those - i am NOT a shaoulin monk, although i love both you an dthem all; i feel respect ad am honored to be residing on earth among peope like you, but i am sexually drawn to your types of strength and endurance - i wanna bear childern to the kids of you; i am NOT liek you 

i’m an old person/elder type fo being; i need to nourisha nd provide for your vigor and power to be manifested in reality more safely and completely i feel towards you the same way i feel towards the man i am fully in love with but i can’t get to him because footh of our unresolved issues ad i beg for help because i want to resolve those - our issues aren;tours alone; we care about/for others’ problems, that si why we can’t hande our lives; so i that way we are much like you; and i am like you in many ways; i wish i could communnicate to you - and i will ebcause i should - i blog posts, if i can find energy to, which i can’t... i’m so sorry but stress is killing me literally - i develped diabetes since my stepfather dies eight years ago and now there is noone to take acre of my basic needs  financially and emotionally,a s supprt; so i breakdown; but i knw you can help me becaus ethsoe stuff don’t touch you; and i can help youw itrh stuff that dont touch me; or i have been a hero through, makig my way out of them;

sexual trauma ad abuse of femininity, is my specuialty, i believe; i am a one who in their love for humanity, their femininity and themselves, has raped themselves to try d develop compassion for those things humns do to each other - rape, abuse of feedom; i am thtat string in my plan for this incarnation; but i have been messed with, energetically and sexually - by a cult/sect; so i have lost my strengths and many of my point of stremgth - my stepfather being one of them; he is someone from my sould-family/group,and my grandmotehr has managed to manifest him into my reality to help me through life;

but he die physically, and his loss is unbearable, i have nothign to stand on and i cn’t handle my frmer tasts without taht kid fo support; that is why i am reahcig out t you; and i ave erached out to suzanne lie, sadhguru, and many thers for support; my lover/peron taht i am lin love with, AND his father, too -i have written to them and asked for suport dicetly, because i can and i need it; i am that in love withmyself that i have the capacity to ask for what i want when i eed my  eeds met; i want you to have that fr yourself, tio; let me etahc you soemhow, lover

i read you as an incarantion of shiva; i love this being’s energy and how sexual and open with sexuality he/it is; i am much more feminine in nature though; which is a weakness; but i need help to overcome it, or try to, as i have promised, in my soul contract; i am running out f time because i am runnign it of energy; my soulmate/’twin flame’ partner/the boy i love and wanna marry and have child with is running out of his shin as well, his essence, his power; we have both depleted our chi through mastrubatig and abuse of our chi; you - no; you have that fire strong within you; please help us with guiding to vercome our foolish weaknesses and purge from our actual sinfulness - devoted to earthly elasure in a society that udnermines a persons needs for that type of pelasure; so tahtwe and many more can heal from thise types of stereotype and thinkig and go on with life; i cant by myself; my loved person has ecaus he’s younger an dhas different energy - he is much liek you; liek curt cobai, like jeff buckley ad others; you rock the world, you are strogn with or without others; i am not; i  need others to grow still; i’m sorry i can’t be strger at this point; i am just t and i lose my mind when they want me to; i am a primadonna, an italian belcanto style opera singer type of person, and my femininity is such; and i have no shame for beign this wqay; i need your type of masculine scolding to refresh my poits fo view and receive revitalizing energy to grow into a best version of myself; better tahn i have been thus far; but you eed to be scolded by the lieks of me and becoem more herty and softer in your capacities, too; because i am a mother to you and th elikes of you - taht is ewhat i can; and i desire your kind sexually which is fun and awesome but it makes me frustrated a lot, too; look, this is nto a lustful invitation - idesire lustfully my neigbour who is a national chamion in hockey for my coutry,and the boy i mentioned ver  a thousand times thus far, ebcause i need actual physcial sex; and i like men; i am to girls a prtector and support; or have been, t put it more accurately - now with my stepfathe rgone, i dot anymore have the strength to tdo taht msot of the time’  idot desire girls sexually; more than one man, yeah, but girls - i cant handle in my heart; s sorry but iam not meanign my words in a direct physical way, but mor e enretically; i really love you - which is a neediness expression in itself; i feel like this when i’m saying these words to you 

Khajurahu, India

Ishtar ~Venus, Messopotamia

i feel my sacred feminine energy explode whenever around you; the spiritual catalyst - imma do a post specifically on how i see your energies linked to Quanyin and the sacred feminine; but as i have heard you speak before, you feel much more connected to your masculine energy so far, thus i’m gonna address you in the way i feel you as Lord Shiva/ the sacred masculine

i wanna #support YOU

.....

[softshouyous-archive]

ALL FOR THE BOTANICAL ASKS they aren't called flower asks get it right jeez falen

iS THIS HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR ELDERS (ง •̀_•́)ง

baby’s breath: 5 things you associate yourself withhmmm uhhhh i don’t know what counts buT1. pink but also black2. haikyuu3. the internet??? idk4. uhhhhhhh5. uHHHHbasically things i liKE????

bleeding heart: what makes you heart go mushy?my friends (including friends on here okay), block b (esp b bomb that cute ho), haikyuu, hxh, milk tea LOL, and people being kindbell flower: what’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?walking in the rain and her, which are both by block b!!

evening primrose: what’s your sleeping playlist (give me 5 songs)?i don’t have one!!!forget-me-not: who is your favorite blog who isn’t following you?hmmm i think all of my favorite blogs follow me?? surprisingly LOL oH NO LOL oohh a hxh artist /banakiri! their art is so beautiful and cute i crydaffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?not a plant but more like a flower!! okay call me trash but cherry blossoMScalla lily: are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening?sunny!!!foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade?pINK!!! specifically pastel pink!!!lavender: what is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?uhhh i don’t know???love in a mist: what is the latest dream that you remember?yo i haven’t beeen able to remember my dreams for days but i had a dream last night where i was at some library??? that i’ve never been to and i saw two guys that i used to go to school with and we were talking but i don’t remem what we were talking about but it was just weird idk daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice?-cotton candy: i don’t really have cotton candy (i can’t even remmeber the last time i had it LOL) but probably the pink one???-ice cream: haagen daz coffee!!!-juice: i don’t really have juice!!painter’s palette: are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist?none?? LOL tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc?ooohhh i lOVE eyeliner soosoososo much!!! i’m probably more of a natural makeup kind of person!!waxflower: are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person?butterfly, the white ones specifically!! and dude please i love dogs okay i would die for all of themsugarbush: do you have sweet tooth? if yes, what’s your favorite sweets? if no, why?hmmm not really??? i think i kinDA used to be, but not anymore?? but my favorite sweets are probably macarons and mochi ice cream!!!sunflower: would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?a fairy??sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other?you know what i’ve thought about this before, but i don’t know??? i feel like we’d probably come up with one, but i feel weird using the names ‘babe, baby, honey’ etc like you think i’d be weak for that but i am actually not o:sea lavender: can you swim? which strokes can you do?nope nope nope i’d die windflower: list 5 of your favorite blogs and explain why i like themhnnGGHHHH TIME FOR EMBARRASSMENT:1. chicken fetus ( ((((((: ): they are a loser and vvv funny and their content is 10/10/10/10 and they probably think i am a stalker but i just really like their blog like good anime shit and vvv funny i love them and care about them so much and will fight anyone who doesn’t appreciate them okay shhh don’t tell them pls2. sh izuos: listen. LISTEN. i hope they don’t read this bc they follow me but i found their writing through another author on fanfiction. net when i was like. 12 and i read allll their naruto fics and i loved them they were soososo funny and i followed their works closely ever since and then like. 3 years later i saw that they had a tumblr and they were starting up a writing blog and i immEDIATELY followed them and along with fics they posted personal posts and i was able to learn more about them and they’re so funny and nice and friendly and i love and admire them so much (((((’’’’:3. wo cjiho: they’re a newish bloc k b blog and they make really nice gifs super often and they use hearts or other emojis as captions and it’s really cute and they’re really mysterious to me but they’re super sweet i cry 4. i’m litearally blanking wow oohh minim insu: we just recently became mutuals like i think i’d seen them around before bc they’re a gif maker and i’d admired them a bit but there was thise one post that someone reblogged saying to vote for an under rated group and i feel so bad when i see that groups have to depend of voting to make it so i was like okay i’ll try to remem to vote until the last day but i also saw that the op was willing to make gifs for whoever who voted so basically we became mutuals bc i ended up softly begging for a moodboard of my fave it was so embarrassing they’re too sweet and really funny and pure but they make fun of my typos (ง •̀_•́)ง5. bee b e e cee: a bloc k b blog who often replies to my dumb posts i really admire them from afar they’re so so sweet and also really funny and idk i just really like them they’re super cool and sweetgolden rod: are you more of a baker or a cook?i don’t do either (rip) but i think i’d be more of a baker!!bloom: what is something that you would like to tell your children?pls don’t be mean to other people, and try not to care about people’s opinions if they’re not trying to help you, but are just trying to bring you downpeony: what is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you?uuhhhhh two things that i can think of right now: i wish my parents put my brother and i in more extracirricular programs/activities and encouraged us more academically, and i wish they didn’t talk so much trash about each other to us when we were younger??? bc i don’t know if it ended up affecting us somehow, but i think it’s really uncool when parents talking about each other to their children bc like... children are so young and small and sometimes easily believe the things they hear. so when you feed negative info about their parents to them, they might believe it and it’s just like??? and like conflicting thoughts??? idk it’s Dumb prairie gentian: do you have a significant other?nope nope september flower: are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?sunshine!!! i like the morning because the sun feels really light bird of paradise: do you wake up early? do you sleep early?hnnGGHHH I TRY TO SLEEP EARLY but i usually end up sleeping at around 11-1 lATEST!! and if it’s a school day, i wake up around 7:30-8, but if it’s not, probably around 9-11!!marigold: what’s your favorite tea?jasmine milk green tea/jasmine green tea!!peruvian lily: what are the names of your pets?i don’t have any))): and i actually don’t know what i would name them LOL  you know what probably after haikyuu and hxh characters oOPShyacinth: do you name your plants?yes!!! i have an orchid named hinata LOLlilac: would you rather sleep and be cozy or hang out with your friends?hang out with my friends!!!poppy: do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?i usually eat them as they are!! but if i dip them it’s in sweet chili sauce!!dandelion: any special talent that you have?????????????????????

THANK YOU MOONSHINE I LOVE YOU KISS KISS

[stopexistingamg]

I remember in 7th grade, I moved over to Santa Clarita with my mom, starting fresh, new school, knew nobody. I had no friends and I had a really hard time making new ones because I didn’t have a high self esteem because I was bullied a lot growing up. My parents worked and I always had to walk home from school and then when I got home, I’d come home to an empty house and my parents wouldn’t come home until 7ish. I remember every single day how lonely I was and how I would beg my mom for a dog. That is all I wanted. Every single day I’d beg for a dog until finally winter came. My mom called me to come to the garage on January 8th 2008. There he was, this tiny little white furball shaking and scared. My mom and stepdad went to pet smart to buy all his stuff so I sat down in the freezing garage and put him on my lap and he fell asleep. We sat there for about 45 minutes until my parents came back and we gave Franco a bath. I remember that night my whole family laid around him in my sister’s room trying to decide on a name and after all the disagreements, my sister wanted to name him Franco, after James Franco. My whole family liked it (I didn’t like it personally but the vote was unanimous so I agreed). He was the most loving dog ever, not very fond of strangers, actually scared of the entire world outside our home. (Lol wish we named him Courage because they shared the EXACT same personality) He was extremely shy and didn’t like anyone who wasn’t my immediate family.

The craziest part of this whole thing is how much love he brought to my family. How much happiness he brought to my mom. My mom hated dogs, I’ve had dogs in the past and my mom absolutely HATED dogs. But after Franco, she grew a whole new love for dogs. God, the amount of things I want to say about my boy. He was different than other dogs. From his fur to his personality, everything. He was like a little person. His fur was super soft like a pillow. It wasn’t like normal doggy hair. His breath NEVER smelled bad, aside from my mom brushing his teeth weekly, doggy breath never existed with him(so kisses from him were the best). And the way he SMELLED! He was the best smelling dog ever. He did NOT smell like a dog at all. He had his own scent. He smelled really good, like a baby almost. It’s crazy. He was such a spoiled boy, my mom always gave him love and groomed him. Not to mention at bedtime, he ALWAYS wanted to be cuddled and be little spoon. He’d do weird things like he’d lick an object and then mid-lick he’d keep his tongue on something for a minute, and then continue licking. He also asked for belly rubs by resting his head on you and scratching you until you gave him a belly rub. And then if you stopped, he’d claw you again until you did it again.

I remember when he’d play, he LOVED playing chase and make you chase after him and he was so so so fast. I know this is the part where my grammar goes to crap, but I just have so much love for him. He was MY dog. He was all I had during times when I was home alone and lonely, my boy. I remember i taught him how to sit and how to stay. He was so smart 😭😭

He always got jealous when we were affectionate with each other. If i hugged my mom, Franco would get jealous and stand up and get in between. He was like a little person. He used to watch tv all the time, and bark at his friends on tv. And by friends I mean any animal he’d see on tv, he’d bark at. I remember thise little trigger words that got him hyped up.

“Where’s your friend!?”

“Buns!”

“Who’s that?!”

“What’d you do?!”

I remember his cute guilty face when he knew he did something bad. His favorite treat of all time was baby carrots. When he walked he had a little strut. Ugh and his cute little features. His pink skin, and his black lips. I miss his little thighs, i just wanted to bite them. He also had the cutest little dog butt, hence why I nicknamed him Buns 😭😭😭.

I miss all the times I’d be up late gaming and sleep all day and he’d wake me up by going up to my door, sticking his nose on the crack of the door to blow his nose. I remember it’d irritate me but I know it’s because he wanted attention.

I remember he wasn’t like other male dogs, he’d squat instead of putting his leg up. 😖😣😔

I love Franco so much.

My mom really didn’t like dogs, but She always says how she remembers why she chose Franco. Franco was the runt of his litter. My mom was at her friend’s choosing out of the puppies, and all of then were black/brown and extremely hyper but Franco went up to my mom shyly and laid in her lap... my mom never liked dogs, but it’s crazy how my little pooch changed her heart forever. He was the only white puppy in that little and he was far from hyper. He had one little brown spot in his fur. He was so different. And ever since that day we took him home, my mom claims she loves Franco more than she loves all of us combined, this is part of the most heartbreak part of this. When Franco was taken to emergency surgery my mom was crying so hard she could hardly talk.

She kept repeating the words “I’m not ready to let go yet Adrienne, I’m not ready to let go” Franco has been my mom’s only baby since my sister and I have moved out. I know every single time I have ever parted with Franco, Before every car ride or plane flight, I would always hug him tight and whisper in his ear “I will always love you. I will love you forever Franco, never forget that.”

Fuck, writing this even hurts....

There’s so much I want to say about my

Little boy, but there’s only so much I can get down.

The hardest part about losing you, Franco, is that I didn’t even get to say good bye. I didn’t get to smell you and kiss you one last time. I couldn’t be there in person to tell you I love you so so much. You revolved your entire life around loving us, and I just wish I could’ve at least given you love, one last time.

I really hope you’re in a good place, where all goodbois go. I really hope doggy heaven is beautiful and I really miss you so much. I have NEVER been through a dog death before but All I can say is I never wish this upon anyone.

I love you Franco. I will never forget you. Rest in Peace. ♥️🦴🥕🐶😖🌹🥺

Franco “Buns” Cowan

9/21/2007-11/12/2018