#and because of the novak family connection

[piinksdoll]

→ [Victimology | Aaron Hotchner]

Pairing~ Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Bau!Reader

Genre~ fluff/angst

Word Count~ 2.4k

Warnings~ reader described with brunette hair and hazel eyes, typical criminal minds gore

a/n~ k this is the first part because it was just getting too long so there will be a part 2! probably will be posted tmr! also this is NOT proofread and written in 3 hours so bear with me

part 1! part 2!

(Y/N Pov)

Hotch called us into the briefing room for another case right before we were about to leave. “Ugh we were this close to a night in our own beds!” Garcia whined as we walked back into the bullpen. “Maybe next time.” I smiled at her sympathetically. I've been with the BAU for 10 months, although my time hasn't been long, I've found an amazing family. Hotch made me a permanent member just a few weeks ago and I could not be more happy, even with the late nights and crazy paperwork. “We have to get going, we'll be briefed on the jet.” I look up at Hotch as we are walking, there's an unfamiliar look in his eyes. A sudden feeling of uneasiness creeps into me. 

(Narrator Pov)

The team loads into the jet, Y/n and Hotch next to each other with Spencer and Derek across from them and the rest of the team on the couch beside the four seats. “Alright my crime fighting superheroes! This guy’s a doozy. You guys are heading to New York City where 3 women have been discovered dead each a week apart.” Y/n shakes her head “He's not wasting any time.” Derek nods “Yeah, what else have you got for us mama.” They look back to Garcia on the screen for more information. “Ok yes, the local PD have contacted the victims' families, Kimi Sulliven’s best friend, Alyssa Nguyen’s mother, and Jennie Novak’s parents are all waiting for you guys at the precinct.” Hotch nods at her words. “The victims were all dumped in parks with no visible marks, bruises, cuts or anything.” Spencer voices “Yeah so that's because the autopsy results showed they died from carbon monoxide poisoning. Although there was evidence of sexual assault.” Garcia hesitantly said not loving the graphic details. “Alright, Rossi, Prentiss head to the ME, Reid and I will start working on the geographic profile, JJ talk to the victims' families, Y/l/n and Morgan head to the last dump site see what you can find.” The team nods. 

(Y/n Pov)

I nod at Hotch’s words before looking at him once more. The team had all spread out around the jet leaving me and Hotch together. “Hotch are you…ok?” I look up at him. In the few months I've known Aaron Hotchner, I've come to find he's a man of few emotions. And although I know he doesn't show it, he feels everything. I've always been nervous to look him in the eyes, but this feels right. “Yes, why do you ask?” I turn my body towards him “Hotch, now you know and I know that's not true. What is it really?” He sighs before looking down at the file in his hands “I'm not actually sure.” He looks at me, suddenly there's a pause and all I can see is his eyes. 

(Narrator Pov)

Y/n and Morgan get to the last dump site. “Ok so you're the Unsub, what makes you want to dump the body in central park?” Y/n looked at Morgan for a response. “Maybe he brought them here because it symbolises the last time he felt loved.” Y/n nods “Yeah maybe in his weird and twisted mind he sees leaving them here as a way of them being loved forever.” Morgan nods agreeing with Y/n. 

At the precinct

“I've mapped out the locations the victims were last seen and also the dump sights but there still isn't a connection. But I do see similarities between the victims and Hotch…” Spencer trails off looking back at the unit chief and JJ. “What is it Reid?” Spencer looks back at the victims. “The interesting details about the victims is their striking physical similarity. They are all strikingly attractive brunettes with hazel eyes and clear skin, which statistically places them in a minority, as hazel eyes only occur in about 5% of the population. This level of specificity suggests that the unsub might be targeting based on personal preference or an idealised image. It's possible that these physical traits represent someone from the unsub's past or an unattainable standard they are trying to recreate. Also…" Spencer looks down nervous to speak. “Reid. What is it.” Hotch says more seriously this time. “Y/n matches the unsubs preference perfectly. Hotch, we profiled that he's narcissistic and will be following the investigation. He might already have his eyes on Y/n and she might not be safe out in the field.”  Hotch immediately calls Morgan and Y/n to get them back in the precinct. “Yeah Hotch?” Morgan's voice rang out from the other side “Morgan, get Y/l/n and get back to the precinct right now.” Morgan looked around for Y/n and grabbed her before getting into the SUV “Alright Hotch I got her, we're coming back but why do you need us back so quick?” Aaron felt his heartbeat calm, he squeezed his eyes as relief washed over him. “Alright, nothing, I'll tell you when you guys come back.”

Y/n and Morgan arrive safely to the precinct

The two rush in, worried something has happened. “Hotch what's happening? Is everyone ok?” Y/n asked, looking between Spencer and Aaron. “Everyones ok Y/n, just sit for a second.” Y/n looked at Aaron confused, “Wha-? I don't get it, what's happening?” Morgan spoke up “Yeah what's going on you guys?” JJ turned to look at Y/n. “Y/n, we noticed the victims all have similarities which is why the unsub chose them specifically. And… you match the victimology to a tea.”

(Y/n Pov)

My heart dropped at JJ’s words. I've never been directly affected by a case, but this is something else. “Y/l/n you need to stay in the precinct, do not go out into the field for any reason at all, and when we go to the hotel tonight you'll be staying with me.” I nodded slowly at Hotch’s words not knowing what to say. “Listen, we're not going to let anything happen to you Y/n.” Derek took my shaking hands into his while speaking to me. I turned and smiled at him “Thank you Derek.” I got up and stood beside Spencer “Ok if I can't go out into the field then I'm going to help you Spencer. I don't want to hear it.” I said not even giving him a chance to protest. “Alright, did you guys find anything interesting about the dump site?” I looked at Hotch. “Yeah so we were thinking maybe he brought them there because that's the last place he'd ever felt loved.” I echoed Derek's words from earlier. “And he's been dumping them there because in his mind, he's leaving them in a place of eternal love.” Derek finished. I heard Spencer muttering to himself before he spoke up. “Ok earlier I said there were no connections between the dump sites but I realised after you guys said Central Park might have been the last place he'd felt loved, that the locations where the victims' bodies were discovered form a distinct geographical pattern, each site bearing personal significance to the unsub. Central Park, in particular, stands out. It’s not just a convenient dumping ground—it’s symbolic. It’s likely the unsub left one of the victims there because it holds sentimental value to him. Perhaps it’s the last place he felt a genuine connection or experienced love like Y/l/n and Morgan said, making it a place where he feels both comfort and pain. Revisiting that spot by following the investigation, might be his way of trying to relive those emotions or confront what he’s lost. The other two locations are the Brooklyn Bridge and a small café in Greenwich Village. Each site represents a meaningful moment in the unsub's life. The Brooklyn Bridge could symbolise a pivotal experience—perhaps a moment of hope or transition, while the café might have been a place where he shared an intimate connection, like a first date or a special memory. Together with Central Park, these locations map out the story of someone who’s desperately trying to recreate or relive a time when he felt truly loved and connected." I nodded at his words, “Maybe he's trying to recreate his relationship with a former partner? Maybe he got divorced recently and tried to replace her?” Emily voiced. “Alright Garcia, give me all the men who have been divorced in the past few months. Block all blondes, gingers, anyone who's not brunette with hazel eyes.” I hear Garcia typing over the phone. “I'm sorry sir, there's nothing with those parameters.” I heard Hotch sigh deeply. We decided to call it a night by 1am and head back to the hotel. 

At the hotel

We made our way to the hotel, Hotch didn't leave my side for even a second. “Alright, JJ and Prentiss you’re in a room, Reid and Morgan you two are together, and obviously Rossi has his own room then Me and Y/n will be in another room.” I looked at Hotch with a ghost of a smile, secretly excited to be sharing a room with him. Hotch, Reid, Rossi and Morgan headed upstairs and before I could follow them, I felt JJ and Emily’s arms holding me back. “What?” I eye them suspiciously. “Hotch and Y/n sitting on a bed….” Emily started teasing, I rolled my eyes at her “Will you stop?” JJ smirked at me “Oh come on, don't act like you don't like him. We’ve noticed your lingering touches, and stolen glances…” I felt a blush creep up my cheeks at their words. “Ok fine, I like Hotch. But he for sure doesn't like me, am I even his type?” Emily rolled her eyes “Y/n you’re crazy smart, and so beautiful. I'm sure he feels the same way. I've seen the way he looks at you.” JJ nodded at Emily's words “Y/n you didn't see it, but when Spencer discovered that you're the unsubs type exactly, I saw how panicked he got. And not in the way he does when any of us are in danger.” I smiled to myself at the thought of Hotch caring for me. “Alright come one lover girl.” I laughed as we caught up to the guys. 

In the hotel room

“Sleep good you guys!” I yelled as everyone made their ways into their rooms. I turned to walk into mine and Hotch’s room and without realising I walked straight into his back. “Oh- I'm sorry sir, what's happening?” I look past him at our room “There's only one bed. I'm sorry I specifically asked them for a 2 bed room. I’ll take the floor.” I look up at him confused. “Wha- no sir, absolutely not. Don't think I don't know about your bad back after the last case, we’re both adults, we can share a bed.” I walk into the room and pick my side of the bed before he gets a chance to protest. “Ok yes you're right, we're both adults. You can take a shower first if you'd like, I take my showers in the morning and I need to call Jack to say goodnight.” I smiled at him before nodding and getting into the shower. After showering, I changed into my pyjamas. I quietly cursed myself for not bringing more appropriate pjs. I slipped into my silk shorts and matching cami before stepping into the bedroom. 

(Narrator Pov)

As Aaron pulled a t-shirt over his head, he couldn't shake the unsettling feeling that had crept up in his gut. He looked toward the closed bathroom door, hearing the faint sound of the water stopping, and felt a rush of protective instinct. The thought of her being a target made his chest tighten, a cold surge of fear that he had not felt since the Foyet situation with Haley. It scared him to think he cared once more about someone that deeply. Taking a deep breath, he pulled on his sweatpants, trying to steady his nerves. As he made his way to the bed, Y/n stepped out of the bathroom. 

(Hotch’s Pov)

I looked up as the bathroom door opened, my usually composed demeanour faltered for a moment when I saw her standing there, hair damp and clinging to her shoulders, droplets of water catching the dim light. The soft sheen of the satin shorts and cami clung to her, highlighting her figure in a way that made it hard to look away. I swallowed, suddenly all too aware of how small the room felt. I’ve shared hotel rooms with colleagues countless times before, but this felt different, more intimate, more dangerous. I forced myself to look back at the paperwork, but my mind betrayed me, I traced the curve of her silhouette in my mind. It was going to be a long night.

(Y/n’s Pov)

As I stepped out of the bathroom I saw him and every coherent thought I had vanished in that moment. He’s sitting on the bed wearing his reading glasses with a tight muscle tee that clung to his chest and broad shoulders, and grey sweatpants that hung low on his hips. I always assumed he had muscles but this time it was different, his muscles defined and stretched the fabric of his shirt with every subtle movement. I felt my breath hitch as he turned, catching me staring. He gave me a small, questioning smile, but all I could focus on was the way his arms looked, strong and powerful, in a way I’d never let myself notice before. I quickly averted my gaze as I felt a blush creep up my cheeks, I could feel Hotch’s eyes on me as I moved towards the bed. I sat facing him on my knees before I spoke “Hotch, do you really think he’ll come for me?” he looked at me, his eyes laced with concern. “I don't know but no matter what happens we will always protect you… Y/n… I will always protect you.” I felt myself blush again, I looked down at my hands. The look in his eyes sent a shiver up my spine. I had to get out of there before he saw me being any more embarrassing. “I- um, I need to go get something from Emily and JJ, I'll be back!” I rushed out of the room and out onto the patio of the hotel. I wrapped my arms around myself feeling the cool breeze of autumn envelop me. I suddenly felt goosebumps go down my body, a rush of uneasiness washed over me. I turned to go back inside the hotel when- everything went black

tag list~ @yourfavoritefangirl

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Silkaran ti mor'athar (Prisoner Of My Heart)

Author: NannaT

Artist: LamiaSage

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Past Castiel/Inias

Length: 25000

Warnings: N/A

Tags: AU Not Supernatural, Enemies to lovers, Journalist Dean Winchester, Soldier Castiel Novak, Openly bisexual Dean Winchester, Closeted Castiel Novak, War setting, Violence, Anal sex, Blowjobs,

Posting Date: October 23, 2024

Summary: Castiel Novak is a reluctant soldier in the Zarnovian Army. He struggles with his identity as a gay man in a country where his orientation is illegal and punishable by death. His powerful family, including his politician father and military General brother, compel him to conform, while Castiel conceals his true self. Dean Winchester is an openly bisexual investigative journalist and war correspondent known for exposing political scandals. He finds himself captured and  imprisoned by the Zarnovian Army. Dean's relentless pursuit of the truth has led him into the hands of Castiel, who grapples with his duty to his family and country, despite his growing sympathy for his captive. As Dean contends with his captivity and plots his escape, Castiel wrestles with guilt and conflicting emotions. Drawn to Dean's determination and bravery, their interactions spark an unexpected connection, blurring the lines between captor and prisoner.

Excerpt: Castiel stands close to Dean, the room’s oppressive silence broken only by the sounds of their breathing. Dean’s gaze is intense, his green eyes burning with anger. Castiel can feel the weight of the journalist’s scrutiny, and he knows what’s coming next. “You’re Michael’s brother, right?” Dean’s voice is hoarse but steady. “The General?” Castiel nods, keeping his expression neutral. “Yes.” Dean’s eyes narrow. “So, You’re just like him? A mean sonofabitch who enjoys torturing and killing innocent people for no other reason than who they love?” The accusation stings, but Castiel doesn’t flinch. He’s spent years perfecting the art of hiding his emotions, and he’s not about to crack now. “You don’t know anything about me,” he replies evenly. Dean lets out a bitter laugh, wincing as the motion aggravates his injuries. “Oh, I know enough. Michael Novak is a ruthless bastard. And you? You’re his brother, his blood. That’s all I need to know.” Castiel feels a flicker of anger, but he keeps his voice calm. “I’m not Michael.” “Sure looks that way from where I’m sitting,” Dean retorts, his tone laced with sarcasm. “You’re wearing the same uniform, following the same orders. What’s the difference?” “The difference,” Castiel says quietly, “is that I’m trying to help you.” Dean’s eyes flash with anger. “Help me? By making me a pawn in your propaganda? Some help!” he sneers. Castiel’s patience is starting to wear thin. He steps closer, his voice lowering to a harsh whisper. “Do you think I have a choice? Do you think any of us do?” He gestures around the room. “We’re all trapped here, Dean. I’m doing what I can to survive, just like you.” Dean’s expression softens slightly, but his suspicion remains. “So, what? You’re a victim in this too? Forgive me if I don’t buy it.” Castiel’s façade cracks, his frustration spilling over. “You think I want this? To be forced into a role I never chose, to hide who I really am every single day? You think I enjoy watching my friends suffer, knowing I can’t do anything to stop it?” Dean is silent for a moment, taken aback by Castiel’s outburst. He studies Castiel, searching for any sign of deceit. “Then why stay? Why follow Michael’s orders?” Castiel sighs, the weight of his reality pressing down on him. “Because it’s expected of me. Because my father and brother have made sure I have no other choice. And because if I step out of line, if I show any sign of weakness, it’s my life on the line.” He bites his lip to keep from saying more than he should.

DCBB 2024 Posting Schedule

[shallowseeker]

Was feeling silly over Sinatra and I wanted to break out one of my Dean and Jack metas by itself. It's from this monstrosity, but I love it so. I'm pulling it out to ponder over today.

//

Dean’s answer to the Harper-coded ideal of perfection:

So, last we left off, Harper was writing dreamily about how she’s gonna find Jack and everything’s gonna be PERFECT.

Which is why it’s so beautiful to me that Dean, who has struggled with some of the same abandonment trauma and overall clinging to his first familial loves out of desperation, is the one to narratively provide a rebuttal to that!

Harper sighs dreamily and picks up her coffee mug of domesticity:

And the scene cuts to Jack, as if he’s right there across from her. (He’s sitting in her empty spaces, hundreds of miles away.)

And Jack is so satisfied. The coffee didn’t taste good to him at the very beginning of the episode. He “couldn’t get it how he liked it.”

Now, it’s very satisfying.

///

Harper and Jack are both satisfied is different ways. Harper, because she left her past behind, and Jack because he’s proved himself as a capable hunter worthy of being brought into the family business. It’s all part of growing up.

They are still thinking about each other and what they learned in meeting each other. Jack is specifically asking Dean about love:

JACK: And that’s, love? DEAN: Eh, actually love can get crazier than that. And it might get crazier with Harper still out there. But, uh, you did good, kid.

In Jack’s family kitchen, we find Dean sitting in the narrative “Harper position,” fielding Jack’s questions about love and providing important guidance.

But Harper’s “mentor” space is sadly empty. She has no one to guide her. Only a stack of books. She gets her ideas about love…from books.

///

As for Jack, Jack leans a little too far into being Righteous here. He says to Dean: “I was right! I should be going on more hunts!”

This reminds us a little bit of Claire Novak, in 11x12 Don’t You Forget About Me:

"I was right!"

///

But Dean?

Dean gently redirects the conversation. Dean doesn’t talk about perfection. It’s not about being right. Or righteous, for that matter.

DEAN: Okay, alright. It’s not about being right. Kay? You’re gonna make mistakes, hell, I make them all the time. But it’s how you handle yourself once you’ve made those mistakes and you’ve learned from them.

Dean’s entire season 8 arc was about accepting the imperfect family: “love, and love.” This is echoed again, just a few episodes later, with AU Michael taunting Dean specifically about Cas’s mistakes:

AU MICHAEL: …he “gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.” Or whatever. But since then, what has he done? Only made mistakes, one after the other.

AU Michael doesn’t grasp the complexity of love and all its imperfections. Real, lasting love allows for mistakes and growth.

Anyway.

Mistakes! (And accepting them! It's an amazing theme!)

And that lands for Jack. He considers the words, assessing, and like how he was with Harper, he gets a Very Good Emotional Read on Dean.

(Unlike Sam, a “brain” character, Jack’s very much a heart character. He’s GOOD at this aspect of humanity. He connects almost effortlessly, even when he’s awkward.)

And especially because he and Dean (and Mary) are built similarly in their emotional cores and neuroses, he figures out exactly what Dean needs to hear, echoing their earlier convo about Michael—

(HERE'S THE CONVO B/T JACK & DEAN, EARLIER IN THE EP:)

JACK: Dean, what happened with Michael, no one blames you. DEAN: Cool, well I blame me, so… /////// JACK: Dean, I need to do something. You don’t understand. I could have killed Michael. Here, when I was strong enough, I could have. But there was so much going on and then everything else happened because I was distracted and stupid and DEAN (angrily): Hey! You didn’t do anything wrong. JACK:  And neither did you! But that doesn’t make it any easier does it?

Jack takes this earlier conversation and echoes it—and reflecting a cheeky, wry sense of comfort…right back at Dean himself.

DEAN: ...it’s how you handle yourself once you’ve made those mistakes and you’ve learned from them. JACK (comically throwing Dean’s own advice back at him): —and how to not beat yourself up over [those mistakes].

Aw.

It hits its mark. ❤️

We get his, “Stop seeing right through me, Kid,” look:

DEAN: You know Jack, you’re pretty smart sometimes. 

Dean tries to hide his smile in his drink.

And Jack knows his words hit, that he’s cheered Dean up. He’s so pleased about it, too! He got ‘im.

They’re, very unfortunately for both of them, very much on the same wavelength with this sort of thing, with their neuroses and emotions, and they know it.

///

(Who's giving who advice here? hehehe. Maybe it's a little give and take. They comfort one another because their hearts are made of the same stuff.)

[sailingfireshipz]

My 13x07 download ✨️

1. Another Tori & Carver opening, what have I done to endure this level of torture

2. Mouch asking Ritter if he has beta blockers. Not funny, mouchyyyyy, not funny

3. Accountability from Carver. 10th times the charm i guess?

4. Something about Ritter calling Stella his LT just feels riiiiight

5. Bishop rolling up to Stella's scene... chilling. Stella definitely looked spooked even if she put on a front for Kelly.

5a. Stella immediately calling Kelly ❤️ but him calling her Kidd 👎🏽 I get "professionalism, in front of the chief" but he could have called her Stella

6. You ok? 🥹 nooo no she's not Kelly, but she's not going to tell you that because she wants you to not worry. She wants to be strong but for once I want Stella to be ok with not being ok..

7. Novaks whole blood program... idk did she just wake up one day wanting this, or is it connected to her backstory? Felt random & a little out of place with no context on the why

8. I wish I was lying when I say that scene with Stella, Tori & Carver made me want to jump through my TV screen

8a. I get the same vibe from you & Severide, am i right? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 giiiiirl, please be serious? You've never even been around Stellaride in the same vicinity to get that "vibe"

9. You good? Onnnnce again no noooo she's not

9a. I have so much to say about Pascal & Kelly. SO MUCH

10. Ritter & Carver bonding ❤️ Stella admiring her company but also letting them know she's still watching

11. Can't believe Violet went to the funeral, 😂 sometimes a little verbal trauma dumping is necessary

12. Monica's instant mood chang when he asked her to go to her sister's... "This is miami all over again. Who did you piss off this time" 😳 I have theories & they make me nervous because I feel like they're foreshawdowing Stellaride against the Pascals 😟 Kelly's going to have to find a better balance between getting justice & not painting life sized targets on he & Stella's back...

13. Bishop should be scared of us... no kidding

14. I never get tired of Kelly yelling at people. Get tf Back

15. No one else find it interesting that Pascal has committed 2 crimes now? 🫣 at what point does this become problematic? All for protecting family but also you're the reason your family needs constant protecting 🙂

16. Stella words of affirmations & physical touch combo for her hubby. His smile was so wide

17. Flynn weirds me out idk but he met the friend group at Mollys, so I guess he's supposed to be ok 🙇🏽‍♀️

18. The Pascal & Kelly ending scene conflicted with me so much. On the one hand , we asked for him to interact with other ppl outside of Stella & here he is doing that. On the other hand, Pascals' potential influence on Kelly. When Stella left the station, it was morning. Kelly was still there late into the evening... there's a reason Monica acts the way she does with Pascal. There's a reason she left him to come back to Chicago.

Throughly enjoyed this episode however midseason is shaping up to be a potential letdown. I'm over here grasping at straws because I've seen theories that Taylor may not be in 13x08 & Miranda not in 13x09.... 🚮

[novashelby]

Meet Archibald Davies

After seeing all of @justrainandcoffee @call-sign-shark @evita-shelby work on OCxOC relationships, I was inspired to introduce Evie's young love. I probably won't write many one-shots, but he will be introduced through the stories themselves.

Archibald Davies, Archie for short, goes to St. Michael's. They met at 9, but it was not love at first sight. Evie thought boys were gross when she met him as an altar-choir girl and he thought girls were weird. Archie is a quiet boy; kind and gentle, and lives in the rough area of the city. Just like the Shelbys, the Davies were outsiders. Mr. Davies owned a small pharmacy. While a respected, lucrative profession, many in the community did not respect that Mr. Davies married a Chinese woman. Archie is bullied by his peers for everything one could think of; being smaller than the other boys, weaker, gentler, nerdy, and so on. He sort of found himself in the Martha-Evie friend group. When Evie turned 10, she started to like him, but unfortunately for her, Archie still loved train sets more. Evie had an odd phase of her life where she was unnecessarily aggressive with boys, especially if she liked them. (Based on something I did at like 2) Evie one time went to kiss him on the cheek and he looked at her weird, so she panicked and bit him instead. Evie was really bad at expressing these things, so she'd show them in awkward ways. "Um, Evie, why are you grabbing my hand like that?" "Ummm...." "It feels sweaty-" "oh-"

It was painfully obvious to everyone except Archie, and Tommy who refused to believe Evie noticed anything other than ducks and cheese. But the poor girl was at the mercy of her family's teasing, especially her Uncle John. There was a period where Archie would walk her home and they'd hold hands, and he'd allow her a cheek kiss....And John would be just peaking out the window. Sometimes it'd be a whistle and or, "cooties!"

Evie and Archie would always go to school events together. Dances were not at all common in the UK, but the school had one, an Easter dance. Though it was not entirely common, the family did pool money together to get Polly a camera. And of course she weaponized that to terrorize everyone. "Alright, get closer than that-" And together, Archie and Evie would say, "no, we're good...no need." "For heavens sake, get in closer!" and they awkwardly would.

Tommy actually never disliked Archie, and I wholeheartedly believe it's because he truly thought Archie had no game in him whatsoever. They "dated" at 10-11.5, but as kids who didn't really understand anything. It went to the extent of hand holding, cinema dates with a chaperone(uncles dumb and dumber), and cheek kisses. The break up was very mutual. "I dunno, I kinda just want to build my train set tomorrow" "that's unacceptable" "I'm a free man, Evie!" "Then go be free!" "Bye." "Bye". But they were still friends, don't worry. Evie didn't get her big crush until 15 on a boy named Peter Novak.

Archie and Evie would rekindle their "love" throughout their youth until both decided they outgrew whatever it was. However, their friendship really strengthened during her "dark" year at 15-16 when she was getting severely bullied. She relied on him a lot to help her get through it until Tommy agreed with John and Esme's idea to send her on the road with the Lees. Not exactly Tommy's favorite option, but he wanted his daughter's spirit back. That is where she met Vano (@wonderlanddreamer) who became her first love. In that time, Archie went to an engineering camp and met a girl there who eventually became him wife. Isaiah was her second and final love who she eventually married at (I have not fully decided) twenty-six. But Isaiah fell for her when she was 17. When Tommy banned her from seeing Vano, she allowed Isaiah to slowly move in and they formed a connection.

Archie, however, always remained a good friend and Evie served as a bridesmaid at his wedding. And he went to Evie and Isaiah's wedding, and always went to every family function. I'd like to think their children became friends, but I can't see Archie staying in Birmingham. Anyway, there you go....

[batsplat]

hi bat<3 i feel like you’re definitely not a die-hard fan of the big 3, but for someone like me who’s been watching men’s tennis since the early 2010s, they’re like everything.

so i wanted to ask: out of the big 3 (or big 4?) pairings, which duo do you think is more interesting? like which one feels more worth exploring in your opinion?

i just watched roger’s docu recently, and omg he gave novak a solo moment. not like a story about them, just a montage of novak yelling and screaming on court. then roger went, “this might not reflect well on novak.” it lowkey gave me vale/jorge vibes, not a perfect parallel, but within the big3/big4, they’re the duo that feels the least… connected. and yet, when it comes to tactical and technical richness, they’re at the top. roger’s obviously way more arrogant than vale, like he just doesn’t see novak as special or even interesting. meanwhile, novak used to be that guy who wanted everyone to like him, but now he’s completely over it. over the years, there’s just been this constant low-key, non-vibe-y energy between them. but their matches? they somehow deliver these insane moments at the most unexpected times. at the laver cup, roger said something to novak, and then novak cried.

i’m less into roger/rafa, partly because i’m not a rafa fan, but also because they suddenly turned into this ideal rivalry narrative, and honestly, that kinda freaked me out. i’m slowly starting to understand the feelings between them, though. like, i still don’t buy into the whole “greatest rival” thing because, let’s be real, on both the competitive and career-defining levels, it’s just not that mutual. but yeah, their pairing definitely had its advantages—sorry for saying this, but it’s true. the 2008 wimb F is obviously historic, but if you actually watch it all the way through, it’s not that great. it’s the unpredictable weather that gave it that epic feel.

and then there’s andy/novak, who’ve always been my fave because of their history and the emotional layers in their rivalry. like, when viktor troicki recently said novak was looking for a “big name” coach, my friends and i joked about it being roger, but none of us thought of andy. and then it happened. i still can’t believe it. from my very limited tennis perspective, andy’s kinda feels like a subset of novak’s. i don’t really know what qualities do coaches even need in tennis, and how do they maximize a player’s potential? so i’m really curious to see what they come up with together. their dynamic peaked in 2016, which was also the only time the big4 rivalries genuinely made me sad. so yeah, they totally deserve this heartwarming closure.

okay so first off, I have to confess I get a failing grade as a hater because I read this ask reading ?? eating breakfast with this on

I dozed off to the 2019 wimbledon final last night so idk. this isn't nadal retirement-prompted nostalgia, I actually failed as a hater there too and completely missed his last match happening so like. arrived to dance on the grave a day late. BUT the djokovic/murray coaching news DID awaken something suppressed in me. I'll probably watch the 2012 uso final next just to feel something

anyway, what this does go to show is that for all that I am obviously extremely not a fan of the big three, as a tennis fan it's also not like I can pretend to be completely immune. I grew up watching them!! I remember watching so many of their matches! often with my family! I would argue about them all the time as a fan, whether with my family or people at the tennis club or indeed my maths teacher. I was always rooting for SOMEONE, like I did have an order of preference. and... uh, it should be mentioned that I am also not a complete neutral who just intellectually hated the big three because I thought they were shitty sources of narrative tension. I was a massive murray fan as a kid so I did also just get my heart repeatedly broken by them. we're talking 'cried during murray's speech at wimbledon 2012'... I actually watched the wimbledon 2013 final at the tennis club where I trained and was EXTREMELY smug (and delighted) when murray won because EVERYONE including my coach thought djokovic would win and had been extremely annoying in my direction throughout the experience. but also I have never enjoyed a men's australian open final in my life, except 2012 I suppose. that venue holds nothing but pain and misery for me

so with my biases stated up front, where the big 3/4 rivalries are concerned, I'm basically in the 'anybody but fedal' camp. that one I feel nothing for and its popularity continues to absolutely baffle me. no hate to anyone who enjoys it but I do treat its continued dominance basically like a psyop. idk who's responsible for this or why they're doing it, but SOMEBODY is pursuing some kind of nefarious agenda. call me casey stoner because I've cracked the code. I understand they're both individually rather popular and I suppose in a detached unemotional way I do get how that could happen, but as a unit? idk man. also, EYE am a rivalry enjoyer, but I get very suspicious when too many fans are an enjoyer of a particular rivalry... (or y'know, sometimes you've got rivalries that have a lot of 'theoretical fans' but you can kinda tell they do basically hate one of the competitors involved and will immediately throw them overboard if they have to take a side, which also passes the test.) just shows to me that there's zero edge there. most partisan fans of an athlete hate anyone who is a threat to their athlete, that's just how people are. if there's this little hate then that tells me that there's too little threat which tells me the stakes aren't quite there competitively or emotionally... which tells me that there's no real reason to care. I'm well aware that federer fans used to be more likely to be nadal haters back in the noughties (david foster wallace coming through for me again on that front) and that nadal fans are more into that rivalry than federer fans and that they're both retired now... but still!! if it was a proper fun rivalry, more partisan fans would still be bitter. fundamentally the rivalry is good for both of them in terms of legacy and pr and all that shit and they both clearly agree so it's just... empty

which yeah, so full agree on the stuff you say lol. I HAVE watched the wimbledon 2008 final (and I... think?? must have watched it at the time, I was still pretty young and clearly it wasn't a defining enough experience it stuck in my mind lol) but it's been years by now. so I can't actually reallyyyy speak to its quality and I'm probably not going to rewatch it any time soon. I do also just think it's the most boring match-up tennis-wise... partly this is because my favourite big three playstyle is djokovic's - I love how he moves around the court, I love the compact backhand and the emphasis on counterpunching... the nadal/federer match-up was mostly defined by federer attempting to figure out ways to prevent nadal from bullying his backhand. which I do know is oversimplifying things lol but it's. kinda true. djokovic/federer is the best match-up tennis-wise even if it's a bit one-sided in the biggest moments (which, whatever, that was narratively engaging too)... federer's full artistry against djokovic's precision was just more exciting to watch. then comes djokovic/nadal which is a bit of a counterpuncher-off, like they are quite tactically similar in a lot of ways, extremely optimised baseliners... but that means they were always going to push each other the furthest - they were already half a step ahead of federer in the evolution of tennis and everyone now is obviously basing their tennis primarily on how they changed the game. and, y'know, nadal's biggest rival is djokovic!! I get why if you're a nadal fan, you'd want it to be federer, but well! tough!

and YES yes I ABSOLUTELY agree that federer/djokovic is the most interesting interpersonally because federer was SO arrogant towards djokovic. the worst thing that happened to federer is that he became a pr merchant, like at least being a cunt was INTERESTING. he used to be absolutely dreadful about murray too!! aggressively unpleasant!! but that one was also frustrating because... murray didn't end up surpassing him... (I genuinely have like. traumatic flashbacks to watching their atp finals 2014 match. I don't think my soul ever quite recovered from that day.) but with djokovic!! people used to be so unpleasant about him - and okay, by now unfortunately he's given everyone plenty of cause, but BACK THEN it was a completely different story. it was so much fun rooting for him when the crowds were being horrid to him and he stuck it in their faces... before he did all the boob throwing business - staring icily at them when he beat their hero? hot

and federer was so so snide about the guy... pepperidge farm remembers when he accused teenage djokovic of faking his injuries in 2006

The 19-year-old Djokovic called his trainer multiple times. He had hamstring issues, but Federer thought he was faking his injuries to disrupt Wawrinka’s rhythm. “I don’t trust his injuries. I’m serious. I think he’s a joke, you know, when it comes down to his injuries,” Federer said.

OR in 2009

Djokovic, the No. 3 seed, threw in the towel midway through the fourth set of his quarterfinal with Andy Roddick, trailing 6-7 (3), 6-4, 6-2, 2-1. But in pointed comments, Federer, the No. 2 seed, noted that it wasn't the first time Djokovic has withdrawn midway through a match in a Grand Slam. "He's not a guy who's never given up before ... it's disappointing," said Federer, who will face Roddick in the semifinals. "I've only done it once in my career ... Andy totally deserved to win that match." "I'm almost in favor of saying, you know what, if you're not fit enough, just get out of here," Federer added. "If Novak were up two sets to love I don't think he would have retired 4-0 down in the fourth. Thanks to Andy that he retired in the end. Andy pushed him to the limits. Hats off to Andy."

'if novak were up two sets to love I don't think he would have retired 4-0 down in the fourth' ...? what are you even saying

and like, on a moral level I do actually think this is pretty gross and have a massive bone to pick with federer on his whole 'look at me aren't I amazing for never retiring from a match' schtick, which continues to have lasting harmful consequences in this sport. this kind of record isn't heroic, it's just fucking stupid. but also, it's hardly the first time or the last time tennis players accused each other of playing up their injuries - it's very much part of the sport, we've all done it or at least thought it. I am also on the record as being pro beefing with children. and it's very strong set-up for that rivalry, especially given how bloody often djokovic went on to crush federer's spirit! it's better set-up than the payoff, quite frankly

that being said, perhaps my favourite match they played is us open 2011 semis - y'know, the match where djokovic saves two matchpoints in the fifth set en route to beating federer... oh, I suppose that doesn't completely narrow it down!!

ah well!

back to 2011, that match did lead to just some really strong snarking in the press:

Djokovic was honest enough to admit the shot was a gamble – but Federer was reluctant to give him credit even for that courage in a crisis, preferring to regard it as desperate. "Confidence? Are you kidding me?" he said when it was put to him the cross-court forehand off his first serve – described by John McEnroe as "one of the all-time great shots" – was either a function of luck or confidence. "I mean, please. Some players grow up and play like that – being down 5-2 in the third, and they all just start slapping shots. I never played that way. I believe hard work's going to pay off, because early on maybe I didn't always work at my hardest. For me, this is very hard to understand. How can you play a shot like that on match point? Maybe he's been doing it for 20 years, so for him it was very normal. You've got to ask him." Djokovic was in a more relaxed mood. "Yeah, I tend to do that on match points," he said, reminded that it was exactly what he did to Federer last year. "It kinda works."

IT KINDA WORKS jhgjhgjhgkf get him again from me

here's the matchpoint save in question ofc

"someday the little twins will grow up to hear about matches like this" well -

which, I mean, federer's being extremely annoying in press! 'oh I'm above taking risks when I'm down on the scoreboard' says the man who ended up with one hell of a reputation for choking. it's also silly!! sometimes it's worth taking a swing at it!! also psychologically, because you're making things less complicated for yourself!! in individual matches, you won't necessarily be rewarded for your diligence and hard work, just not how anything works you moron. but y'know, this was the REAL federer. by the following year he'd already completely clamped down on this kind of thing and it felt like really djokovic could have also been WAY more bitter about this stuff than he publicly was... but yeah, this I did enjoy

and yeah, I do kinda see the vale/jorge comparison! like you say, federer is kinda... more arrogant, more contemptuous towards his younger rivals, also just more of a sore loser until pr got to him? tennis is infamous for its frosty handshakes, but you compare some of those with how warm valentino generally was when he lost... federer's problem was that he lacked self-awareness and was just so committed to this image of the gentleman's sport, which is why he ended up shying away from all this stuff. the unpleasantness with djokovic was actually like... still fairly late in the game, all things considered, it wasn't even really like 2011!federer to say stuff like that. which does show djokovic was capable of really really getting under his skin! and on djokovic's end, where the jorge comparison very much applies is how much he wanted the people to love him (ik his fans hate this narrative but like,, obviously he did). and how they had all already decided he was the enemy for beating their beloved federer and nadal. I do find it a bit easier to stomach with valentino because he deliberately plays with this stuff, weaponising the crowd and all that, whereas federer and nadal just pretend like it's not happening. (also morally it might be worse to boo at a motogp event because of the danger they're putting themselves in, but practically booing at a tennis match is far far worse - you can actually influence the competitors in a way you obviously cannot in motogp.) but that WAS one of the most interesting storylines in the big three era... djokovic slowly catching these two greats who were always so far ahead of them, however much people didn't want him to, even though he didn't have the love of the people on his side, and eventually managing to surpass them altogether. I do think there's plenty of interesting stuff there!! good groundwork! it's just... nowhere near enough, given how bloody long these guys ended up dominating

on djokovic/murray - MY favourite combination of guys as well, just in terms of how much I actually like both of them. it's an interesting relationship where it's like... they knew each other quite well when they were young, then inevitably grew apart a bit when they were competing for big titles? obviously they were also born exactly a week apart from each other, which is narratively fun. I suppose it's the equivalent to jorge/dani which... actually wait, no, I realise that would assign nadal to casey and certainly not my god. it's a rivalry that's a bit tough to stomach from a murray fan perspective because... I mean, it's not quite 'this is not a rivalry, they always kick our ass' territory... but when I started following tennis as a kid, it felt completely plausible that murray and djokovic would have similarly successful careers. which obviously. did not happen. still remember that kind of controversial 2015 australian open final -

- and, y'know, it's a bit frustrating!! this was the tone of a lot of that era, where you kinda just wanted to take them all aside and tell them. my god. maybe a little bit of feuding is okay, no? but well, it is what it is, mostly they had a good relationship. 2016 was kinda the best of times and worst of times because murray was pouring his heart and soul into scraping all of his potential out of himself, got another slam, year end #1 etc... but it also probably did end up fucking up his body permanently, in the quest to fight djokovic. and there IS something compelling and sad about that, but yeah. still a bit of an old wound as an actual sports fan lol

and yeah, they're two closely related playstyles!! counterpunchers with particularly excellent backhands - and if a wing falters, then it's the forehand. it was lendl coaching murray and getting him to properly go after his forehand, be aggressive enough off that wing, that got him his biggest successes. djokovic's weaknesses are less pronounced and especially these last few years, he's often been lethal as a serve + 1 forehand merchant. roland garros 2023 is a good example of that... murray was the tactician, generally thought a lot on court and had a lot in his arsenal - ofc most famously his excellent lob. djokovic does also have more to his game than just baseline pushing, even if sometimes that involves just spamming dropshots when he feels uneasy. obviously, as can be seen from the slam count, his game ended up being just a bit better... but, well, these are very fine margins. murray's slam count is deceptive, he really was the one guy who could consistently hang with those three year-in year-out. whatever revisionism people try to do now, it really was a big four era

as for the coaching relationship, I'm very curious!! coaching can take a lot of different forms and sometimes there's a bit of a distinction between the... bread and butter coaching, the people who are working with you day to day, and these more high profile gigs where sometimes it really is just localised to specific tournaments. it's all very individualised, depends on the specific demands of the player - obviously, given where djokovic is at in his career, you won't be seeing particularly major adjustments, like murray isn't going to come in and suddenly suggest djokovic revamps his serve, right. (though sometimes players still tinker with this stuff late into careers, especially if they're managing injuries.) given the particular stresses of playing in a match, what an odd experience that is in its own right, sometimes you do just need someone to be observing you, give your game a critical once-over from a little bit of distance. now, admittedly from what I've seen of djokovic's coaching relationships, I do feel like one of the coach's roles in THAT particular camp is also just 'being yelled at continuously during matches'. which...? a little curious if djokovic has that same tone when murray's standing there lmao. also one of the reasons for the yelling is when djokovic feels like he's not getting enough enthusiasm from his box. which... ... uh. I mean. murray wouldn't have been top on MY list for that particular metric. but he can get passionate at davis cup from what I've seen!! so maybe it'll work out

anyway yeah I'll cut it off there lol. obviously I spent half my childhood thinking about tennis and inevitably that involved a lot of thinking about the big four and that means I have a lot of thoughts on them so. basically it's fedole > rafole > fedal as far as I'm concerned. good luck to djokovic/murray in their endeavours, I will be there no matter what

[revenantlore]

. WIP introduction.

the spookyboys, in collaboration with @reeseweston

With an aching secret wedged between his ribs, Felix Novak embarks on a quest for truth and to unveil the existence of aliens, ghosts, cryptids, and everything in between.

Casper Nguyen, a firm non-believer in anything not proven by fact, unexpectedly becomes entangled in Felix’s pursuit of the impossible.

Together, they blur the lines between the known and the unexplainable—and their friendship along the way.

. soft rain hitting fallen leaves . disembodied voices on the wind . audio crackles on the radio . cozy sweaters a size too big . handprints on foggy windows . milkshakes and french fries . inside jokes between friends . murder mysteries and mayhem . a face in the mirror not belonging to you .

characters :

Felix Novak

Psychosis runs in the Novak family. At least that’s what his father’s been trying to convince Felix of ever since the day his mother was sent away following her hysterical claims of seeing a woman in their house that no one else could see.

Except … Felix is positive he saw her too.

Even more certain that he spoke to her.

Maybe not in words, but through his Ouija board.

Years have come and gone since then, and though Felix hasn’t yet been able to prove his mother’s sanity, he has seen his fair share of ghosts and monsters, of creatures both evil and benign, and he’s not given up looking for the truth.

Casper ‘Cas’ Nguyen

Ghosts don’t exist, Cas is as sure of that as he is the insomnia that plagues him.

That is, until he meets eccentric and curious Felix, a man insistent that this insomnia Cas suffers from might in fact be the cause of a ghost not only haunting his apartment but also sharing some sort of deeper connection that is much too extreme for Cas to grasp.

Even in the face of proof that this ghost, and others like it, might indeed exist, Cas remains skeptical.

Even after years following Felix prove the existence of the paranormal on film, Cas remains skeptical.

Because there has to be another explanation … right?

Croix Harvoth

Croix was once a kinder and gentler person, but ghosts ruined that for him.

A near-death experience during an attempt to bring his former best friend’s girlfriend back to life has left him haunted. Literally. To the point he can’t sleep most days because the ghosts in his occult shop / apartment won’t shut the fuck up.

Like he owes them something, they come to him seeking help, seeking guidance to the next stage of their lives … or lack thereof … and no matter what he does, he can’t seem to get rid of them.

It’s turned him into an asshole of a hermit who avoids the living as often as he can … which isn’t easy when you run a business.

Someone’s got to pay the bills, though, and his cat, Jackass, will starve without her damned cat food, so what’s a guy going to do?

Atticus Flood

Some might say he is too giving, too gentle, too eager to help, and they would be right.

Atticus can heal the ailments of others, from minor wounds to major ones, from simple sorrows to the deepest mental aches, but in turn, it takes a part of him, too.

His hair is losing its color, drained from its deep black roots to a haunting white like a spider’s thread. His nails have taken on a similar fate, but his eyes still hold some of the life still lingering in him.

Taking it too much further might mean the end for him, but Atticus isn’t sure he can say no.

Especially not when he meets Croix and knows he might be the only thing that can save him from his demons.

Katy Lovelace

Everyone needs a friend acquainted in witchcraft, though Felix might have been skeptical when they first met. Which is saying something, considering all of his out-there beliefs … but this was different. This was putting his best friend in the hands of a stranger, inexperienced in the ways of magic, no one quite knowing what risks they might face.

Now, though, she’s a go-to friend for advice on crystals and spells, and the occasional bath time essential oil recommendations.

[wigglebox]

On Wayward Tracks

Pinefest 2023 | Written by @follows-the-bees | Illustrated by @wigglebox

Rated: Explicit | Word Count: 86,216 | Major Tags [full list at link]: Western AU, Action & Adventure, Lovers to Friends to Lovers, Selective Mute Dean, PTSD, Bisexual Dean, Bisexual Castiel, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Light Dom/Sub, Explicit Sex, Canon-typical violence, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pinging, Dean POV, Castiel POV, Happy Ending

Summary

The year is 1882, and Dean and Sam Winchester were taken in by Bobby Singer almost two decades prior, living and working on Singer Ranch in Lawrence, Kansas.

While visiting his brother Gabriel, who opened a brothel in the area, Castiel Novak runs into a handsome stranger. During the four visits, they usually spend one night together, and that's that. But, on Cas' most recent visit, Dean shows him the real life of a ranch hand.

Dean shows him the ins and outs of his day-to-day life while Cas decides on his future away from the family business, Novak Railways Co., and his other brothers, Michael and Lucifer.

As Bobby's ranch faces threats from the railroad company, trying to force him off the land to make way for a new rail line, Cas uncovers discrepancies in his family's intentions and accountant books.

The connection between the families is soon uncovered, and they are thrown together as they work to discover the depths of the mysterious corruption.

At the same time, Dean and Cas have to work through their own mysteries regarding each other and how life moving forward would look for them.

Full story on AO3

Artist's note:

I absolutely fell in love with this story because it held my attention with a plot while also making me root for these two knuckleheads. I love western AUs, but I am also rather picky when it comes to depictions of the American West when it comes to this time.

I'm actually picky when it comes to fics in general!

But I loved this from the moment I read the first page, and I purposefully held off on reading any updates while @follows-the-bees was editing purely so I could have the joy of reading it again "for the first time."

If you're into action-packed westerns with a cute love story with real stakes, I recommend this story 100%! I'm sure you'll enjoy it from start to finish! <3

[obsessionnostalgia]

Claire Novak fic recs: yeah, I was trying to reblog something every time I found a new one but its too disorganized so now it lives here. You have a Claire Novak rec? i want to read it.

Where the Heart Is by goldenraeofsun

Features a time-traveling Claire hanging out with Sam and Dean circa season 7. There's angst. There's Claire hooking up with a diner waitress. There's Claire having self-worth issues. There's Claire making fun of Dean to his face. All the good stuff.

Like a Duck, He Fits the Bill by golbygloom

Claire Novak and her budding attachment to the guy who isn't her dad but wears his face. The angst of having to get out of your own way to make connections with others.

Let Me Come Home by prosopopeya

Deancas-centric but Claire Novak is a POV character, struggling in foster care and the uncertainty of whether her uncle (Cas) will get his shit together in order to take her in. The Claire and Dean parallels are strong.

Rec from kerryweaverlesbian:

no such thing as a unique experience by @astralpenguin

A 15 year old Claire meets the (now older) little girl who was possessed by Lilith for a long time. Neither of them realise this element of connection for quite some time. Tons of empathy and understanding. These two feel so much like complex teenage girls, and also the dramatic irony is incredibly fun. One of the best fics I've read all year

Rec from carhengeapocalypse:

Another rhinestoneangels (@pinknatural ) fic fatherisms

Claire is a baby when Jimmy agreed to be Castiel's vessel and Dean steps in to help take care of her. The timeline jumps around and the story is told in snippets and it's very good

as if death itself was undone by microcomets

Claire confronts a human Castiel in a grocery store.

Claire heaves a deep, bone-weary sigh. “Here I am, consoling an ex-angel using my dead father as a meat-puppet on his self-esteem issues. I should write a book or something.”

everlasting by entropic_saudade

Claire wants to have a permanent mark of her and Kaia’s love. In order to do the stabbing safely, she helps Dean bring Cas back from the Empty so he can heal her.

gifts given & words unspoken by rhinestoneangels

Short: Dean and Claire make cookies after Castiel brings her back to the bunker, injured. Some implications at this point, Claire is more family to Dean than Mary. Set in season 12.

coming out by dicklessthewonderclown

Short, Dean POV conversation on a drive with Claire where she comes out as wanting to date Kaia and also admits (by accident) that Dean is a kind of sort of maybe father figure to her.

A Christmas Miracle (for someone else) by bitterred

Set post-canon, mirroring all the "Cas is dead and Dean is depressed" fics, Claire Novak finds a cat during the holiday season.

i'm sorry i'm the one you love (no one will ever love me like you again) by monsterfatigue

Kind of weird that Claire decided she was in love with Kaia even though they had barely known each other. After Kaia comes back from the Bad Place, nothing is simple. Claire isn't sure why she thought it would be.

This Is A Love That Lasts Forever by HeddersTheOwl

Another fic where Claire being friendly with the angel that wears her dad's face is complicated.

"You look too much like him. It's not fair. You're not him." 

meteor site (our hearts collision) by sobsicles

Claire has religious trauma laced with homophobia. Kaia doesn't want to be anyone's nightmare.

the way a dad should by fleeceframe

Dean and Claire are driving back to Jody's when Claire needs to stop because her period has started. (Side note: i was SURE that part of the reasoning for carrying tampons/pads in the impala was going to be partially related to the fact that they're sometimes good for wound care, in that the products are designed not to grow bacteria.)

i don’t know nothing (and that’s fine) by halfwheeze

Claire Novak meets Magda Peterson, the psychic girl from 12.4 American Nightmare, and likes her so much it makes Claire look stupid. Look at that, they have matching religious trauma: "When Castiel-" she pauses, remembering that his name isn't carved into the internal dialogue of every girl with religious trauma from here to Texas, "the Winchesters' angel, I don't know if he was with them when they got you- when he came to Earth, he needed a vessel. A human strong enough to hold an angel, with strong enough faith to allow them in and allow them to stay." That's what the Winchester Gospels said about them anyway. Castiel just said that they needed to believe. They were special. Believers. Bullshit. "When Castiel came to Earth, he took my father. And then, when my father told him he couldn't stay anymore, Castiel approached me. Being a vessel, it's passed down in the family line. The blood. The body. All they need is the body. And I was a kid. He might as well have been God. So I said yes. And my father took him back. If you think about it, it's my fault that my dad is dead."

Bartenders Love Me by clusterjam

Claire Novak doing her Dean-coded thing: hustling in a bar, flirting with the bartender, and oh yeah: angst about whether her dad would approve of her.

Subject: Dean Winchester Is Dead by angelszn

There aren't enough fics about Claire finding out Dean (or Cas) are dead. Dean Winchester is dead. Dean Winchester is dead, and Claire got the news in an email of all things. As if the gravity can be contained in the tiny black letters on the screen. It didn’t even seem possible. 

patricide of the lowest order by angelszn

This one's dark (Major Character Death tagged) -- Castiel killed Claire's father, after all, and what is Supernatural but a series of revenge plots?

two steps on the water by orpheuscas

Claire in the aftermath of being cured of werewolfism. Heavy dose of "Dean is basically Claire's dad now" included.

she'll say she got the map from me by 13zepptraxx

Hey you know that episode where Dean goes back in time and hangs out with his mom? He tells her, "No matter what you hear, or what you see. Promise me you won’t get out of bed." but then an angel wipes her memory? What if Claire went back in time after Dean died because she was sick with grief and basically did the same thing?

[fayezmahmud]

Kristen Schaal elaborates on the significance of the narrative in Season 5 of 'What We Do in the Shadows'

FX series

In the latest season of the FX series "What We Do in the Shadows," Kristen Schaal's character, The Guide, finds herself in a relatable yet unique predicament. As an immortal vampire, The Guide struggles to fit in and connect with her peers, a situation compounded by the fact that she has lost her only friends, the Vampiric Council. This leaves her on the outskirts of the vampire group, unable to find her place among them.

Kristen Schaal, in an interview with Collider's Christina Radish, shared her insights into her character's feelings of exclusion. She noted that the Guide's repeated attempts to join the vampire clique stem from her longing for a family or companionship in a world where such connections are scarce for an immortal being. Despite the group's charm and appealing qualities, they don't readily welcome her into their fold. Schaal highlighted the Guide's possible affinity with Nandor, played by Kayvan Novak, as he embodies the powerful warrior she has always admired. Additionally, she finds a sense of warmth in Laszlo's character, portrayed by Matt Berry.

However, The Guide's strongest desire is to befriend Nadja, a fellow vampire. Schaal explained that Nadja's captivating personality makes her an irresistible candidate for friendship. This season of "What We Do in the Shadows" promises engaging storylines and Schaal is excited for viewers to witness the Guide's relatable journey of yearning for acceptance and connection.

“The Nadja character is so fun because she does not give two shits about anything. She’s self-absorbed, but she’s not self-conscious. She just goes for things. She has a courage and a fierceness that is really fun. She wants to open a nightclub, so she does it and she’s good at it. She wants to have a long-term, great relationship with Laszlo, so she does it. She always just figured it out and she’s very competent. When she has an idea, she gets it done, and it’s a fun ride to be on.”

As the series progresses, The Guide's struggles to integrate into the vampire group while seeking companionship will likely provide both comedic and emotional moments. Fans can catch up on all the episodes of "What We Do in the Shadows" streaming on Hulu, with new Season 5 episodes releasing weekly on Thursdays.

[aceing-on-the-cake]

CW: Religious Trauma, Disowned by Parents, Familial Abuse(disownment), SI mention, generalized angsty rant

I go through life a lot not thinking about the fact that like I've gotta form an entire support network from the ground up because of being raised in a cult. Like most people when they get kicked out from their house for being queer they have *some people*. Maybe it's extended family, aunts, uncles, grandparents. Maybe it's like a friend group. Maybe it's the friend's parents who are like your surrogate parents already. I don't know. But it's someone. They have people. They have base connections already with which they can make more off of.

But I just, don't.

I left a cult and lost every parent. I lost every sibling. I lost every surrogate aunt, uncle, and grandparent because I already didn't have actual extended family. I lost every friend I'd ever had. I. Lost. Every. Person. I. Knew.

And yeah, you can make more. That's the beautiful thing about humans, they grow and they heal no matter where you put them.

But it takes time, and that's time spent floundering around in my early twenties making stupid mistakes that cost me a lot because I don't have the parents to bounce things off of. That means trying to make friends and coming up with a total of 1 or 2 because all the normal times people made friends, school, college, etc, I was in, a fucking cult.

And like, I keep going. I live by a fuck it you thought I'd off myself out here and so I refuse to ever do so even when I was literally alone. I am out here pulling myself forward inch by inch with coffin-fucking-bloody hands (TM Berklie Novak-Stolz) and I move on and I live and I forget and it doesn't come up every single day of my life that I'm alone, even now, I'm so more alone than a human is supposed to be. I am making a found family but that cannot replace the grandparents I am supposed to know, the aunts and uncles I am supposed to be able to connect to, the parents I am supposed to be able to turn to. It helps, god does it fucking help, but you can't replace those things. And if you can, I have not figured out how.

[codmw2019-2022]

MW 2019 - Allied NPCs:

Mission and what group followed by Character Call Signs and Name if shown/give and the character's Status.

Fog Of war | CIA with Marine Raiders

Hammer 2-1 [ U.S. Crew Chief? ] Blue Viking 5-1 [ Gunship ] Hitman 7-1 Sgt. Hoyt (KIA) Hitman 7-2 Cpl. Davis (KIA) Hitman 7-3 Spc. Gonzavi (KIA) Hitman 7-4 LCpl. Randoff (KIA) Hitman 7-5 Pvt. Myers (KIA) Echo 3-1 Alex (Alive)

Cutscene

Charlie 2-Actual Colonel Noris (Alive) Watcher Station Chief Laswell (Alive) General Lyons (Alive) Bravo 0-6 Captain John Price (Alive)

Piccadilly | SAS with CTSFO

Raven [ Overwatch ] Saber 2-4 Sgt. Crowley (Alive or KIA) Saber 2-6 Sgt. Kyle Garrick (Alive) Trojan 3-1 Cst. Brooks (KIA) Trojan 3-2 Cst. Fowler (Alive or KIA)

Embedded + Proxy War | CIA with Urzik Militia

Vipper 1-1 [ Unmarked Gunship ] Farah Karim (Alive) Hadir Karim (Alive) Tariq (Deceased) Lina (KIA) Yasin (Alive) [ Armen, Ziryan, Hemin, Renas, Kejal, Zerya, Jorin, Rozhin, Dozan, Daryan, Erdelan ] *

Clean House | SAS anti-terror unit

[ Alpha: 1-1, 1-2, 2-1, 2-2, 3-1, 3-2, 3-3 ] *

Hunting Party | CIA with Demon Dogs

Demon 1-2 Sgt. Griggs (Alive) Demon 3-2 Sgt. Norman (Alive) Demon 3-5 Cpl. Lee (Alive) Demon 3-6 Pvt. Hughes (Alive) [ Demon: 8-2, 7-6, 7-5, 7-4, 7-2, 7-1, 6-6, 6-2, 5-6, 5-4, 5-2, 4-6, 4-4, 4-1, 3-4, 2-6, 2-5, 2-4, 1-3 ] * **

The Embassy | SAS, CIA, Urzik Militia

Jaguar 4-1 [ U.S. UAV Operator ] UK Pilot 1 (KIA) Ambassador Harris (Deceased) Assistant Stacy Davidson (Deceased or Alive) Adam (Deceased) Romeo 4-6 Mikey (KIA) Romeo 4-7 Cpl. Davidson (KIA) [ Emerald: 2-4, 2-6 | Romeo: 3-1, 4-2, 4-3, 4-5, 4-7, 4-8, 4-10 ] *

Highway of Death | Urzik Militia

Ali (Alive or KIA) Alyah (Alive or KIA) [ Ziryan, Ashti ] *

Flashback

Farah's Father Walid Karim Shadi / Shadi's Kid (Deceased)

The Wolf's Den | SAS, CIA

Lifter 1-1 [ Air Transport ] Sinner 1-1 [ Overwatch ] [ Alpha: 2-2, 2-3, 2-4, 2-5 | Crown: 6-3, 6-4, 6-5 ]

Captive

Azadeh (Alive or KIA) Darine (Alive or KIA) Ayah (Alive or KIA) [ Ghalia, Hadia ] * 2 SAS Soldiers (Alive)

Old Comrades | SAS Unsanctioned

Nikolai (Alive) Yegor Novak (Alive) Butcher's Wife Ousa (Deceased or Alive) Butcher's Son Amon (Deceased or Alive)

Going Dark | SAS

Hostages are Barkov's Family

Into the Furnace | CIA, SAS, Urzik Militia

Jaguar 4-7 [ Air Support ] [ Erdelan, Daryan, Ziryan, Yaran, Hemin, Dila, Royar, Mazar, Renas, Avdar, Ashti ] *

Spec Ops

Sgt. Kamarov ( ALIVE ) Dr. Linda Morales (Alive)

* Names are randomised for these characters since they aren't important to the plot, and because of this their status is unknown. ** There are probably more callsign numbers in between but these were the ones I was able to catch.

AN:

This post is formatted a bit differently from my other posts because I wanted it to be a bit easier to read without having change everything.

As always I hope this helps fanfic writers as well as other members of the fandom with wanting their OCs to be connected back to our favourite main characters.

[demenior]

go full keith ya dumbass and the novaks for wip ask

Check my list of current wips here and send me a title and I’ll post a bit or share some details about it.

the novaks is where i've been putting ideas about how The Novak Family fits in the the love it takes series. The basic idea is that the Novaks (Amelia and Claire) end up in the Winchester orbit at some point, and then pain. I don't have any scenes written, but here's the ideas:

Amelia reads Dean n Cas a new one for stealing and killing her husband

When she finds out Dean n Cas are Together she rightfully goes after Dean for sleeping with her husbands’ corpse

Why couldn’t Cas have taken someone else? Why couldn’t he have gotten a new vessel? Does he even understand how hard it is to know Jimmy’s gone? That Jimmy trusted Cas and now he’s dead, and now they have an empty grave because Cas is still out in the world with Jimmy’s body and neither Amelia nor Claire can get any closure

Amelia also gets to be pissed for the crisis of faith she got: God and angels are real, but they don’t care about you. They will destroy your family and you get nothing in return.

Claire asks Cas to hold her for a minute. Because that's her dad, or at least his body. It's a strange creature wearing her dad's skin and calling it his own now. And she's a girl who lost her father and misses him desperately.

“Dad put his arms like this” “Do you want me to do that?” “Yeah. And don’t… don’t talk for a minute, okay?”

She just wants to be held by her dad one last time, and cries into Cas' arms

Claire, who can kinda Perceive Cas’ true form, because she’s a vessel: hey you got bigger (or changed?)

Cas, looking at Claire who is a few years older now: so did you

---

go full keith ya dumbass is a segment from an (unfinished) Switch the Beat series (Voltron) in which, well, Keith was going Full Keith and launching himself into space. This bit focused on Keith tapping into the bond with the Red Lion, as I was going to start exploring the Paladin bond (and what the Lions are) in the next Switch story

--

The darkness of Keith's closed eyes grows deeper, like Keith has stepped into something dark and enveloping. Gravity finds him, and Keith settles on his feet. There's cold around his ankles, a river moving in one direction.

He's been here before. This is what it's like to bond with a lion. The water is alive in the way a wild animal is alive. It's unpredictable, unknowable and untamable. At this first level it's mostly safe. The current isn't too strong, the water is shallow. Keith would have to work to be lost here. But to strengthen the bond he has to venture deeper. To be heard he needs to be deeper. 

Keith walks slowly, testing his steps before he commits his weight. He runs through the training in his mind.

The first layer of the bond is simple. It's basic awareness. He can command his Lion from here, but it's basically like treating it like any other ship. There's nothing special here, but it is the first step in becoming a Paladin. Allura has guided them here several times before. Keith glances down at his hands-- he can see the strings that represent the other Paladins tied around his wrists. They never tangle, and they don't get dragged along in the water. They float off into the darkness, to some unknowable destination. Keith isn't sure how it connects them all, but he knows the deeper they go, even when they form Voltron, he can feel the others like an echo in his bones. 

Keith finds his way to the gate. The second level, to go deeper into the bond, lays ahead. He rarely taps into this-- only in the midst of battle when they need to form Voltron or he needs his Lion to respond to him in ways no ship can.

The gate is made of stairs, almost invisible in the dark and under the flow of chilled water. Keith stands on the edge. He can remember standing on this precipice all those weeks ago, the first time they formed Voltron, when the bonds on his wrist had dragged him down and into the dark. 

"Hey!" He calls, "can you hear me? I need help!"

He waits, and waits, and there is no response. The water is freezing, even through his armor. Keith can see his breath when he exhales.

"Okay," he decides, "I'm coming in." 

Keith walks down the stairs.

[florencc]

@cagedpotential : ❝ everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing. ❞

a rare, secret rendez-vous for the best friends turned strangers. because the reality was, diana harrison didn't know florence conway. not really. but este novak? este and diana had disposed of a body together, connected by death and murder for as long as they were to live. but disappearing from the face of the planet came with a price, and that meant staying far away while she watched diana reach all of the dreams that she'd talked about when they'd been kids.

watching her light up the stage, from where she'd been hidden in a seat a few rows back, had been a delight. it was exactly what she'd imagined it would be. if florence had had the choice, she'd have been there opening night –– but the risk of diana's family being there, potentially recognising her as the presumed dead este novak, was a risk she couldn't take. so she'd waited a few weeks, and taken in a matinee in the hopes that she might be able to get away with it. and so far, she had.

"they think they know you. nobody knows me, remember? the press would have a field day if they knew you." there was a slight laugh, real fear of the truth one day coming out masked beneath the melodic chuckle. "but this afternoon, on that stage? you were incredible." though she was sure critics and attendees had already told her as much in the weeks prior. it wasn't hard to miss, her star power. "i'm sorry i couldn't come to opening night. i was too ––" she let the sentence finish itself. her friend would certainly understand, at least she hoped. the flowers, the letters she sent with no return address, said the same thing too. i'm sorry i can't be there. i miss you. all of them signed with her initials. initials that diana had given her in the first place.

[thmolineux]

*     ◟    :    𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐯𝐚𝐤 . 𝙳𝙹 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚛 . 𝚓𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚌. 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚛. 𝚜𝚞𝚋𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 & 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 .

𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙳𝙸𝙶𝙰𝙻 𝚂𝙾𝙽 … ? ●●    𝚁𝙴𝙶𝙸𝚂𝚃𝚁𝚈 : 𝚅𝙸𝚂𝚄𝙰𝙻 .    ●    𝚁𝙴𝙶𝙸𝚂𝚃𝚁𝚈 : 𝙺𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙰𝚃 .    ●●●   𝚁𝙴𝙶𝙸𝚂𝚃𝚁𝚈 : 𝚁𝙴𝙲𝙾𝚁𝙳 .   

*     ◟    :    〔   jacob elordi  ,      cis  man    +   he/him    〕      theodore  'teddy'   novak  ,     some say you’re a  29  year  old  lost soul among the neon lights.    known for being both  a  flop  era  survivor ✨  and  a  fuck-up  magnet,  one can’t help but think of  marching  powder  by   hyphen  when you walk by .    are you still a  dj headliner  at the  gravity  nightclub  &  an  associate  of  the  jade  tribe  as  the  prodigal ?    i think we’ll be seeing more of you and  loose  ends,  burner  flip  phones, off-label  jeans  &  glitter  stickers, although we can’t help but think of :  the   son ( bullet  train ),  christopher  moltisanti ( sopranos // many  saints  of  newark ),  michael  gray  ( peaky  blinders )  whenever we see you down these rainy streets .      (     j.  ,      25  ,      they/them  ,    N/A  ,   GMT    +    none  .     )

full googledoc intro tbd pending plotting so for now this is what we get 💅

keeping the bar low like teddy would've wanted &lt;;3

your honour he is literally a wet rag frankensteined from different media babygirls that have one thing in common: serving c*nt and abject failure

𝚃𝚆: 𝙳𝚁𝚄𝙶𝚂/𝚂𝚄𝙱𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝙰𝙱𝚄𝚂𝙴 , 𝙺𝙸𝙳𝙽𝙰𝙿𝙿𝙸𝙽𝙶, 𝙼𝚄𝚁𝙳𝙴𝚁 (<𝟹 𝙸𝚃'𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙾𝙽), 𝙽𝙴𝙶𝙻𝙴𝙲𝚃, 𝙵𝙰𝙼𝙸𝙻𝙸𝙰𝙻 𝚃𝚁𝙰𝚄𝙼𝙰 𝙴𝚃𝙲. 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝚁𝙸𝙻𝙻.

𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝙴𝙻𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 … 𝙷𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙾𝚁𝚈 ?

novak is not his real name.

teddy is also not his real name.

red flaaaag 🚩

born to a criminal family, with origins in southeastern europe but activating primarily in london & manch. ( stay tuned to see this in a wanted plot coming soon in your area ... tbd. if any of his former relatives/connections can still come into play somehow or if they're more of a past coming back up to bite situation )

family dealt with auto theft & stolen goods tr*fficking (esp. machinery & comm tech) and synthetic dr*gs as their specific niche, but they started to branch out into the ✨international hit list✨when teddy was in his teens

as a result of his father's enterprising spirit & determination to piss off every criminal white collar and blue and black, teddy spent his critical development years getting k*dnapped a lot 💗 literally worst school trip ever

initially, teddy was raised as the company's inheritor (sins of the father sins of the sire etc.) and primed to take the reins. however, it soon became obvious that he is a) a liability b) sitting ducks leverage because he's just here getting his ass kidnapped on the daily and c) more damaging to the family capital alive than dead bc homeboy does not have what it takes to hack it in the big bad world

if early years teddy was trauma central, 20s teddy was in his true delulu element. between rehab stints & dropping off the face of the earth whenever he felt like it, he didn't just fumble the bag - he actively jeopardized every one of his father's assignments. he really made dynastic disappointment his brand

𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝙴𝙻𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 … 𝙻𝙾𝚂𝚃 𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙴 ?

it's hard to see the straw that broke the camel's back. hell, sometimes it's even hard to see the camel. maybe it was that one invoice from a private clinic in maui that offered 'energetic detox' as a cure for addiction. charge it to the game, mate. maybe it was the payphone pleas for bail money, each from a different jurisdiction. maybe it was the chain of untenable business ideas (replicant fight club anyone?) in the already-tanked entertainment industry. maybe it was the off-shore ransom calls, really. how many times can a man be asked to ransom his son from a serbian halfway house? it's not like they give air miles for that, do they?

whatever it was: a few years ago, his father stopped.

everything stopped.

the rescue missions. the cash flow. the security back-up.

teddy's father didn't just stop saving him from himself. he stopped saving him from everyone else.

for all the world knew, the fastest rising criminal in the european underworld never had a son at all.

teddy was stunned. struck dumb, that he could be cut off like this - like deadweight. not because he was under any illusion of being anything else, but because he thought he covered his base. he thought he leveraged his charms enough to be loved despite it. after all, he'd been relying on his mother & her side of the family for help for years. he assumed that line would never run slack, regardless of where his father stood on his waste of a son. only it did.

at first, he was convinced it was all over. this, his life - whatever he tried to make of it. if one of his father's rivals wouldn't get to him, then surely the job market would. because honestly, what's a quicker death sentence than capitalism?

then, he thought that maybe being dead to the world isn't as bad as all that.

there's a certain freedom that comes with no longer being the son.

𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝙴𝙻𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 … 𝙾𝙽𝙶𝙾𝙸𝙽𝙶 ?

he went to the place where all lawless, turned-out creatures go - and all things without a name. new york. waste and dead-ends, sure; and boundless opportunity.

surviving the city in its first hungry, desperate years wasn't easy. it's a breakneck tie, what was worse about the whole affair: the poverty or the fear. having fuck-all to fall back on. always being on the lookout. constantly scouting for any hint of recognition; for any guy that knows a guy placing a call behind his back.

for two years, he holds his breath. the drugs help, sure; and then the popularity, the fame, the flow of people and offers and gigs - those help a little, too. he had always been loved; even at his lowest, even when he was not respected, perhaps - he was still loved. sought after. he couldn't be anything but used to it.

he falls in with the jade tribe, recruited on a white night. who knows what came first? maybe they picked him because of his downright psychic fucking knowledge of everyone's predilections; the cued-in awareness of what the gravity clientele needs. or maybe it went the other way around; maybe he somersaulted ranks at the club, made headliner courtesy of his name in some jade capo's pocket.

much like his downfall, teddy doesn't know where his luck began. he can't see the starting point. he just places his bets. he places it all on red.

two years, three years; five. a new moon and a tide changing. and still, theodore novak holds his breath.

the stakes get higher. he starts asking for more; he charges higher people, silent people. he trades in different bargaining chips. he collects data. that's what he is, now: a close kept book of names, and numbers, and needs. of weak points.

he rises higher.

if he was a betting man? if anyone asked him, back there at the start?

he'd have given himself five days.

but to his own surprise, new york has a magnetism for disaster. the only real way to win is sticking it out; staying alive one second longer than the other guy. that guy, there on the floor.

new york isn't conquered; it is survived. and if there's one thing teddy could do, it was enduring.

𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴 𝙴𝙻𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃 … 𝙳𝙸𝚁𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 ?

for anybody who cared to look, for anyone who knew how, the boy who goes by theodore novak is everything he's ever been. liability. leverage. treasure. it all depends on who gets to him first. only this time, he isn't sitting idle.

it's a matter of potential; it's a matter of the right offer. the right question. could teddy be turned as a weapon - and if so, against who? his family? their contacts in the new country? the jade tribe?

what is theodore novak, the prodigal son - the boy that was once solomon 'sonny' belkov, looking for? a way out - or a way back?

most days, he doesn't know himself. besides, anyone who's been in new york long enough understands this: too often, a way out and a way back are the same thing.

what matters is that he will not have to wonder whether he's more valuable alive or dead ever again. what matters is not only that he survived, but how he did. what matters is that, when all is said and done, even if new york burns: teddy is covered.

he still has his family's training. better yet: he still has their secrets.

[nym-wibbly]

The last Supernatural ep we watched last night was 12x10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets. It and the end of 12x09 went some way to answering the question I was getting nowhere with yesterday - 'where's my in for fanficcing Castiel?'. That angel finally reached max gross load there and got angry with his situation to the extent of taking it out on his friends. He's acting put-upon and under-appreciated, exasperated to tears with the Winchesters' latest attempt to sacrifice themselves to save each other. That sarcastic, bitter, 'You're welcome,' at the end of 12x09 was a huge moment for the character.

Since beating Dean senseless back in S5 he's sat on his frustrations, fears, disappointments, and failures like a champ and put up with those of others with tired stoicism and humility. When he's screwed up, he's done so from honest motives - protect Winchesters; fix what's broke; be of service. He's been learning and growing in every way he possibly can - from practical and emotional experience, from suffering and loss, from personal failure, from self-reflection, from the Novak family he nuked just by showing up, and from his friends.

The early evolution of the season 4/5 angels storyline showed Heaven flailing because God had left the building without leaving a plan, the remaining archangels holding it all together with the Apocalypse as the be-all-and-end-all of existence. By season 6 they're fighting a multi-front civil war. By season 8 they're all but destroyed, their numbers dangerously low, and we learn that it's taken brutal brainwashing - repeated full factory resets in Castiel's case - to keep the rank and file angels in line since at least Biblical times. Even the higher ranking angels are lost sheep, guessing at what God wants of them and - whether explicitly or not - asking, 'Father, why?'

By the time God dropped in at the end of season 11, when it looked like his last and only chance, Castiel had nothing left to say to him and no questions he felt were worth asking. On the one hand maybe a missed opportunity for the characters, but on the other... maybe that lack of a conversation with Cas said it all? Chuck had The Conversation with Dean, and with Lucifer, but he has no connection with the lower-ranking angels. None. God is over Castiel, who keeps not quite playing out his role in the story; and Cas has been pretty well cured of his zealous 'because God' angel programming, along with any illusion of a benign or worthy father figure in Chuck.

He's left with this quietly resentful disappointment that turns easily to self-loathing and self-doubt when he encounters failure. He doesn't take the opportunity to share that with Chuck, a detail hammered home by also having Misha Collins play Lucifer in that setup - a no-holds-barred, personal, messy-emotional father-son relationship with God that Castiel never had.

He's gone from resentment towards Dean for distracting him from his obligation to Heaven with its security blanket of narrow, emotionless certainty to the complete reverse, focusing everything he has on the Winchesters - Mary included - because Cas still needs something to believe in and something to serve. He equates that, now, with his protective love for this human found-family who taught him how to feel, love and live. With Dean especially, who doesn't see his own value and keeps endangering his life and soul.

Cas doesn't believe in himself, though, not even slightly. He still only defines himself, knows himself, relative to something he views as greater and more important than himself, and as a cause worth killing or dying for. He's trying to do his duty as he sees it - his duty to the thing he has faith in. It still hurts him when that faith lets him down, and that's the 'in' I was looking for.