#and baby dionysus cooing at ghosts and corpses before he gets dropped off with his aunt a year or so later

[happyk44]

Hermes yammering on and on about his chthonic work while taking care of baby Dionysus, and fun "uncle" Thanatos tagging in when his coworker ("hey bestie!" "we are not besties") got a lot of crap going on, showing Dionysus bones and ghosts and how to drag Hypnos to a softer sleeping area when he passes out in a bush full of thorns again, and then a billion years later Zagreus pops out of the ground and Dionysus latches onto that underworld energy he doesn't really remember because he was a mortal baby at the time but totally vibes with nonetheless and boom. Besties

(and then a couple years later, Dionysus accidentally cuts Zagreus' dick off in a chaotic stupor, but it's chill because who really needs one)