#and autism made any girl friendships actually be split apart with a lining of fog
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i want sisters to share with to play with to be with. ive never had a sister
#i have 2 older sisters who were too old for me to befriend as a child#and autism made any girl friendships actually be split apart with a lining of fog#i just wish this loneliness would go away#i hate how i have to consciously choose to believe that im not different to feel any sort of belonging w any people outside of my polycule#and even then my sense of belonging is also tainted by utility and transaction#idk how to navigate or view any social situation in a way that isn't transactional when it comes to ppl interacting with me#like nobody voluntarily is nice to me just because. it's because they want a smile back at them or something#that's just how the world works right? <- clueless
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