#and assets are kind of the same thing but there are different levels to them and you unlock them with XP

[birdietrait]

i’m taking a break from working on that contemporary fiction style ttrpg and now i’m working on a more traditional fantasy one !!!

[felassan]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard info compilation Post 5

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

[There are also a series of 'lil snippets' posts where I was just chucking together bits and pieces that I saw at other times: one, two, three, four, five, six]

Post is under a cut due to length.

There is a lot of information coming out right now about DA:TV from many different sources. This post is just an effort to compile as much as I can in one place, in case that helps anyone. Sources for where the information came from have been included. Where I am linking to a social media user’s post, the person is either a dev, a Dragon Age community council member or other person who has had a sneak peek at and/or played the game. nb, this post is more of a ‘info that came out in snippets from articles and social media posts’ collection rather than a ‘regurgitating the information on the official website or writing out what happened in the trailer/gameplay reveal’ post. The post is broken down into headings on various topics. A few points are repeated under multiple headings where relevant. Where I am speculating without a source, I have clearly demarcated this. if you notice any mistakes in this post, please tell me.

For notes in here on community council things in particular, I recommend to listen to the vid directly, it's always better hearing things first-hand ^^

Character Creation

"The diverse body and gender options make it an industry leader by a signifcant margin" [source]

"BioWare was keen to highlight the hair strand technology that looked very similar to that seen in FIFA and EA FC, also made under EA's roof" [source]

"Fine tuning sliders that allowed for microscopic adjustments of nose angles, it was clear that a lot of options exist to get the smallest possible body parts exactly right" [source]

"There's no specific genital customisation to be oversold as CDPR did but, much like Saints Row, there is an option for bulge customisation" [source]

Pronoun choice, gender identity, body type, and voice choice are 4 separate options, not tied together [source]

Height is customised on a slider [source]

Size is customized on a triangle like in Saints Row: the 'points' are fat, slim and muscular [source]

The different lighting options are 4 different settings: clean, bright, dim, sunset [source]

In CC you can also try out what Rook looks like in their starting rags, in typical mid-game armor, and some level 50 gear (class appropriate for each one) [source]

There's a way for you to modify your character's look once the game has started if you want to make some tweaks [source: the official Discord]

You can be any class and choose any backstory/faction, any race, any gender [source]

Story and lore

On meeting Neve in the opening, if Rook chooses to say the positive dialogue option (I think this is the thumbs up one, "You rescued yourself, I see") they say something like, "It looks like you're doing pretty well by yourself huh?" [source]

According to someone who played the game at SGF, the game has a Mass Effect 2 Suicide Mission feel to it [source]

The Shadow Dragons are kind of an anti-Venatori faction, sort of. [source] A freedom force. [source]

The Mourn Watch are kind of like the police for the Grand Necropolis [source]

The Veil Jumpers are kind of like weird magical investigators, weird magical nerds [source]

The moment right after the gameplay video ends is 👀❗❗...? [source]

On the timeskip, the Community Council were told that they were going to make it about the same amount of time in-game as the amount of time that passed in real life from the time most people would have last played DA:I [source]

Rook's faction is also referenced outside of the intro segment of the game [source]

In the gameplay reveal video that we saw, some of the Evanuris statue assets at Solas' ritual site are doubled up in error, i.e. some of them have the wrong heads. This is not supposed to be the case, they are supposed to each have a different head (bear in mind this was an early build and isn't the final build of the game) [source]

Characters, companions, romance

Go [here] to see some DA:TV doodles of the characters that a dev drew this year and last year. :> the hidden doodle is a version of Rook, hidden as they have not yet shown any of the possible hairstyles for Rook outside of the gameplay reveal video. [source]

It is Lucanis who has the purple wings [source]

His name is pronounced "Loo-khan-ess Day-ah-MORT-ey" [source]

Lucanis is hands-down "the sole dumpster fire of the crew". Mary "wrote him specifically to be a bisexual disaster of a human. You're welcome." [source]

As a name 'Rook' is closer to 'Inquisitor' than 'Hawke' [source]

The Community Council highly requested there to be 4 voices for Rook. They kept bringing it up [source] (there are 4 voices for Rook)

The Solas face model has been tweaked "a hundred times" [source]

Gameplay, presentation, performance etc

Rook can jump [source: the official Discord]

Rook can sprint [source: the official Discord]

Warrior gameplay (or at least one build of this) involves doing the right parry timing to lead to a certain attack [source]

Warriors have a dropkick ability, enemies can be dropkicked off cliffs using this [source]

According to someone who played the game at SGF said that the game ran smoothly and didn't have any bugs [source]

Companions can have an ability that heals Rook even when they are not mages [source]

Sword and shield warrior's ranged skill is like, boomeranging their shield over there [source]

In terms of the 'the game isn't open world, it's mission-based' stuff, it could be likened to Trespasser in this regard [source]

The first time the Community Council played, they asked if there is a photomode. BioWare said no, and the Council were like 'aw that really sucks, we really wanted one'. The next time that they went to play it, BioWare introduced them to a dev and said "Okay, we have photo mode, all thanks to this guy". "So there is one particular dev we all need to be kissing the feet of" because he figured out photo mode. [source] [nb, more on the Photo Mode situation here]

The current build of the game is not the final build of the game. A few things are currently being vigorously worked on [source]

Other

Someone who played the game at SGF was told that all of the choices and consequences were in the game, and that basically the team are just polishing things up right now [source]

The number of community members on the Community Council is in the double digits and they are from all walks of life. They don't have any contracts which say that they can only say positive things; they can be as negative as they want about DA media. Not every member of the council has said publicly that they were part of the group, there is nothing mandating them to do so [source]. They have not played the full game [source] and they tested it on consoles [source]. A lot of them ended up liking the gameplay [source]. They played some of the main story but they don't know how it ends. At one point they did three days of playtesting from like 9am-4pm daily. "I liked the quality, I liked what was going on, I was very invested. I did have some worries from the first playtest that were completely resolved in the second". "If you are someone who is into the story, I think we're safe, in the clear, I think we're okay. What I saw, I was really enjoying, I'm really excited about" [source]

The name change also surprised the community council. They aren't keen on the 'the'. There are a lot of things that they said to BioWare which, sometimes things just cannot change as it's too late. [source]

They did not see the finished game trailer before it released, and at that time it might have had a different song in it. They fed back that the version of the trailer that they saw was fine (what they saw was a bit different) [source]

BioWare have data on the percentage of people who used tactical view in DA:I and it's in the single digits [source]

Upkeep of the The Keep is a lot and it goes down like once a month. There have been times when it was down for weeks at a time [source]

[itsthesinbin]

You Had It All. You Had Him. (Valentino/Reader)

Just a little idea of what if you and Val were close in life and ended up in hell together/how he'd treat someone he actually Likes that ISN'T on the same power level as him.

Suggestive at the end. Reader is Gender Neutral.

TW: the Vees being the Vees, possessiveness, codependency, implied abuse (not toward reader), implied drugging (sorta. val's saliva is like a pheromone), implied high/drugged sex (from said pheromone), implied stalking/voyeurism (from Vox)

if I'm missing anything on the tw just lmk

If you like it, reblog it!

-----------------------------------

It was no secret how possessive Valentino was, what with him having Vox install cameras everywhere to keep an eye on his “assets”. Only a select few people had the pleasure of holding Val’s affection- the definition of which would change depending on who the target was. Angel Dust was an unfortunate soul stuck on the more insincere end of Valentino’s “affections”, and was kept under as tight of a lock and key as he could get.

You were… a different story.

You and Valentino had arrived in Hell together, glued to the hip in life and now in death. You didn’t remember the details of your death. Valentino did, and he always told you the same thing when you asked: “Why does it matter? We’re here now, aren’t we?” You guessed he was right.

Valentino had taken it upon himself to keep you both safe in the literal Hell you both found yourselves in. Stuck on the streets, Valentino had sold himself to get the money needed for food. Then a hotel. Then weapons. You didn’t like guns- you were probably considered a hippie back in the day- but Valentino insisted you keep one on you. Taught you how to shoot.

Once the weapons were secured, he shifted from sex to robbery to get the money he needed. Or both, if he could get away with it. You were terrified he wouldn’t come back one day- leave you totally alone in the afterlife. Even if he was damaged, though, he always returned in one piece. He loved to play up how sore he was so you’d baby him. He always did, even before arriving here.

Eventually, your apartment was tiny and shitty, but it was a stable home. Rent was atrocious- you figured capitalism would survive down here. But you had food on the table, clean clothes, and even a few luxury items.

And Valentino. Throughout it all, you had Val.

You both grew into your new bodies and abilities. You weren’t nearly as powerful as Val, who had begun to persuade people to sign their souls away to him. You still felt sick at the idea of such a thing, so you stayed on the sidelines while Valentino rose to greater heights. Got better money by starting his own porn studio. Gave you better places to live.

Then Vox and Velvette arrived.

By this point, you and Valentino had moved into an actual home. Big, and Valentino decorated it in his signature pinks and hearts. Everyone knew this house, and everything in it, belonged to the newest Overlord to rise in the ranks. People avoided you like the plague.

You answered the door at the insistent knocking. You first saw the shorter woman who was immediately eyeing your outfit and then the foyer’s decor. Then you craned your head up to meet the eyes of a figure you actually recognized. How could you not? He was in every commercial and every news program.

Vox smiled the same smile he gives in his interviews. The kind you give someone to disarm them. Valentino had the same talent, so you saw through it instantly. But you stayed polite. These two were powerful by themselves- you didn’t want to anger both of them.

“Hello there,” Vox started, sticking a hand out. “Vox, and this is my associate Velvette. This is the home of Valentino, right?” You shook his hand firmly, ignoring how his claws snagged the skin of your wrist from how long they were. Velvette didn’t go for a handshake, so you left her alone.

“Uh… yeah, he’s… upstairs. Let me go get him- make… yourselves at home,” you got out, undead heart hammering in your chest as they made their way to your couch. You would pray to God that Valentino wasn’t about to get killed, but you guessed God didn’t give a shit about you if you were down here.

You knocked on his door, cringing slightly when you heard a faint sigh. He hated being bothered when he was in his office. He took that time to edit the videos he recorded at the studio. It took a minute, but he eventually unlocked the door and opened it. Red smoke wafted out after him. You coughed slightly and waved it away, only for your wrist to be caught in a firm grip. You could tell he was annoyed.

“Mi vida, I’ve told you before-” you cut him off before he could continue to berate you.

“Vox and Velvette showed up. What did you do?” You told him, hissing the question quietly out of fear. His eyes widened, and his grip on your arm tightened a fraction. Then he let you go.

“Go grab your gun and hide it under the back of your shirt,” he instructed, a hand moving to your cheek. Your ears went back, and another hand settled on your hip. He smiled that charming smile- the one that always put you at ease.

“Hey, hey, mi cielito, I’ve kept you safe this whole time, haven’t I? Trust me, and get your gun. Only pull it out if I tell you to.” You swallowed, then nodded. With a purring little “good”, he let you go to grab his own. He was a little more brazen, keeping its holster visible on his hip. He headed downstairs while you went to get your own weapon. You figured he’d want you to be the element of surprise. You took a deep breath, then made your way down after him.

Val was greeting the two when you arrived. He sat down on the heart shaped loveseat, and held two of his arms out. You sat with him, leaning into him on instinct. His strong arms went around you securely, one hand immediately playing with your hair while the other settled on your hip. He always liked to put his claim to you on display. Had to, in this place. You saw Velvette sneer slightly, and Vox’s smile tightened in annoyance.

“Valentino,” Vox started, deciding to just ignore your presence. You were fine with that. Val was the businessman here.

“My partner and I come with a business proposition. You’re quickly becoming a very powerful Overlord- it’s impressive! But, with how long some of the others have been here, you’re bound to hit a… roadblock, so to speak.” Valentino frowned, tapping his foot angrily. In hopes of keeping his mood swings in check, you pressed closer and patted his chest. The claws in your hair scratched along your scalp gently in response.

“We’d like to offer a business partnership. Here at V- uh-” he coughed, trying to cover up the fact he was about to go into his actual business spiel. You and Val couldn’t help but snicker. Even Velvette snorted slightly as Vox grew flustered. He cleared his throat.

“The terms are simple: join us, and we’ll help keep your territories under control. You’ll get access to my very own brand for your work, too- cameras, lights, editing equipment…” That got Valentino’s attention. He perked up slightly, and Vox’s grin widened.

“I’m sure Velvette could even spare costumes and makeup.” “Sure can. Also got an idea for a love potion, if you’d be willing to help me develop it,” she smirked. Valentino’s hand stilled. A quick look at his face told you that he was considering it. Vox looked at you, and Val’s grip on you tightened. You knew instantly that Vox had leverage. You had a sinking feeling as Vox got a predatory look in his eye.

“And, of course, I can offer protection- for your actors, your assets… and whoever else may need it. I can have guards stationed at all times, and cameras everywhere.” Val’s hand slid from your head and down your back.

“... Give me a few days to think about it.” Vox and Val shook hands, and you saw your guests out. Valentino was deep in thought when you turned around.

You both were moved into Vox’s tower by the end of the month.

Which led you here. Dolled up in red and hearts and with a very obvious collar around your neck. You never signed a contract- not that Valentino needed you to. Even before dying, you relied on him. It was worse now- he had given you everything, and you didn’t think anything of it.

You sat in your lavish room, with Kitty brushing out your hair to get you ready for your date. The collar with the heart shaped name tag weighing heavy like lead stared back at you in the mirror. The camera in the corner behind you moved slightly, centering you in its lens. You knew Vox was watching you. He was watching everyone.

The door opened to reveal Valentino, who was absolutely delighted to see you. The shoot must’ve gone well, if he was in this good of a mood. He came over and all but shoved Kitty out of the way.

“Go get Papi a drink,” he barked at the robot, who scurried off quickly. Then he parked himself in a chair behind you, taking over where Kitty left off. Of course, he barely did anything before his mouth found its way to your neck.

“Almost ready to go, baby?” he all but purred. You rolled your eyes slightly in response.

“I would be, if you hadn’t kicked my hairdresser out,” you joked. He huffed, before pulling you back against him with his second set of arms.

“What can I say? I prefer having you to myself.” There was a tone to his voice that sent a shiver up your spine, and at this point you didn’t know if you liked it or not.

He finished your hair, turning your vanity chair around so he could see you fully. His face lit up at the hair, makeup, and outfit. He always liked to dress you to match whatever he wore under his wings that day, and gave you your own pair of heart shaped glasses.

“I could just eat you up, you know,” he hummed, hands traveling along your hips and up your arms. You felt your heart beat against your ribcage. The look in his eye, the way he grinned, said that he really could if you’d let him. The sound of Vox’s security camera moving made him twitch.

His wings flew open, blocking you from view. A hand went up to your face and his thumb stroked your cheek. You knew Vox and Val had a… relationship, so to speak, and it didn’t bother you too much. Free love and all that, a you from the past would’ve said. But Val was very particular about who you spent your time with- or who got to see him let his guard down with you.

“Maybe we can be a little late to dinner. I’m sure they’ll make an exception for us,” he grinned, red trailing down his chin as he leaned in. The sweet smell that always radiated off of him was a lot stronger now that he was close.

The familiar haze of Valentino draped over you as soon as his tongue was in your mouth. You felt your eyelids flutter and your muscles relax as his strong arms lifted you off the seat. You vaguely heard the whirr of the camera’s motorized joint following you. You stared into the lens over Valentino’s shoulder, as your demonic boyfriend trailed his tongue along your neck. You could tell it zoomed in on you both. From how Val let his wings back down, you guessed he wanted Vox to see. You didn’t argue.

You two didn’t end up going to dinner, instead staying in your bed until you both grew too tired to continue. Val snored away, head on your chest an antennae tickling your cheek. Your hand trailed up and down his back lightly, just how he liked it when he first got his wings and his spine stayed so sore as he adjusted.

In quiet moments like this, you could almost pretend you two were back in your shitty one bedroom apartment. Struggling day by day with you budgeting whatever money Valentino could bring in, but happy that you had each other. You were suffering, but you suffered together.

Now the collar dug into your neck, as he liked you to keep it on whenever you were with him. Another way of his to lay his claim. You ignored the fact you would see his brand on his workers. How that new spider demon hung off his arm when you would bring something to the studio and stared at you either with jealousy or despair. How you’d overhear Valentino be furious and angry behind a door and as soon as you’d enter he was back to his adoring self.

You didn’t really have any other option, not with how deep you’ve let yourself dig the whole that was codependency. You were terrified of being alone. Even if you could be, Vox has eyes and ears everywhere. You’d never get a chance to leave. You had no idea if you wanted to.

Valentino’s obsessions and possessive nature seeped into every aspect of his life. His videos, the way his actors were dressed, the way every little thing was personalized just for him. Including you.

You were safe. You were taken care of. You were protected. And, just like it’s been since the beginning of your afterlife, you had Valentino.

[astral-mariner]

Vegebul headcanons: Vegeta fell for Bulma first

So lots of ppl in fanfic often write Bulma falling for Vegeta first. I see it the other way around.

The ship explodes while he's training, and he suddenly has all this downtime he never had while serving under Freeza. They've had surface-level conversations before, gotten at each other's throats over alien-human misunderstandings as well as serious moral and/or experiential differences. But while he's recovering, he gets a bit stir-crazy and just...finds himself around Bulma rather often, and they actually start to get to know each other.

Bulma finds him dark and mysterious---fascinating to her in an almost scientific way because he's so like a human but so different at the same time. She admires his tenacity; though he would never characterize himself as a victim, she knows he's faced grief and hardship, and carrying on with such clarity of purpose anyway is heartening in a way. Meanwhile, Vegeta just doesn't understand why this woman insists on talking to him, making sure he takes care of himself... He can understand her providing gear and housing---she and her friends need him for the upcoming battle. But the interest, openness, and basic kindness she displays baffles him, especially when he is a sworn enemy of Kakarot's. With Nappa and Raditz things were always complicated. So many roles and expectations with him being their prince. But with this Earth woman, there are no expectations at all. So he doesn't know what to do with her.

He won't let himself think of her as beautiful even if his eyes linger on her. He has just seen so few women like her. Certainly, he's never spent so much time with one either. Always on his way to a new planet. No real friends or consistency of any kind. That's not to say he regards her as a friend. Of course not. He tells himself that she's useful. She has resources, power. And she pursues her own ends with intensity and fearlessness---saiyan qualities he understands.

And then she's in his thoughts day and night. He thinks of her scent or her voice when he's trying to train, when he's lying awake and can't sleep. That sparkle in her eyes when he challenges her, but it doesn't shake her in the slightest. Her laugh, her little touches. He's head over heels for her long before they have sex, but he has no context for feelings like that. He just feels like he's losing his mind.

And it scares the shit out of him. How can he focus on transforming and defeating the one who took his birthright and Freeza's death from him when this woman is just fucking haunting him? He doesn't even know it's romantic attraction. He won't even accept that he's sexually attracted even though his body reacts to hers however fiercely he avoids looking at or touching her.

Meanwhile, Bulma has just broken up with Yamcha. She's not really in a place where she's thinking about a new relationship. She might want to have some fun here and there now that she's single, sure, but she's much more focused on the arrival of the Androids. Especially since she knows how hard her future self worked to warn everyone and give them a chance to have a different outcome than she did. And Vegeta is a powerful asset to have on her side. As much of a jerk as he can be, he works tirelessly to prepare himself for the battle, and helping him become stronger may make a difference in their survival.

Sure, it tickles her scientist brain to have an alien living on her property she can ask about space and otherworldly tech whenever she wants. And Vegeta himself has a fascinating (if dark and disturbing) personal history. He's not what she expects in some ways. Proud, and yet also very reserved and even shy. Aggressive and intense, but at the same time thoughtful, introspective, and so dedicated to his calling that she realizes it's a spiritual thing for him, perhaps even religious.

She finds herself enjoying his company even when she knows that she shouldn't. He's not exactly a true ally. He's not a good person. But he's just so...interesting. And he's more attractive than he seems to realize. She indulges a fantasy or two of what he might be like in bed. But it's not serious. She knows she shouldn't. It would never work out. It would be so fucking complicated and fraught for everyone involved. There's no way an alien man would have the same (or even compatible) ideas about relationships or sex. Even if Vegeta did, he'd never fucking tolerate having a frank conversation about it. He's really kind of a prude.

And yet...they spend more time with each other, and the tension between them just builds. Over months and months, it builds slowly but surely. And one day, it just fucking breaks. One evening, they end up closer than usual. Touching each other, and it gets really intense really fast. No time to really discuss where things are going or what anything means---they just need each other in that moment. And it works out. Somehow. It's almost too easy. Despite all the cultural differences. They have sex, and it feels...good.

For Vegeta, sexuality had previously always been something tainted with negativity. What's the point of having a drive for sex, after all, when you're the last of your kind, and fleeting pleasures are hardly more than distractions? But with Bulma, everything just felt so fucking right and good. Like finally getting to experience all the things he'd always wondered about and longed for even if he never admitted it to himself. Things he thought were impossible. Having sex in a situation where he had a real choice in the matter. With a woman when he had spent his whole life having to accept the fact that no saiyan women had survived. On top of everything, not only does he want her---desperately---but she wants him in return. How she squirms when he touches her, how her scent changes, how she trembles and whimpers when he gets to do all the things he never let himself want before.

It just completely and utterly unravels him, and he can't get enough of her. He thought that, just maybe, if he gave in and slept with her, she wouldn't fucking haunt him anymore, but it just gets fucking worse. He needs her like water. Like if he doesn't get to be in her presence and touch her, he will just fucking lose it even more than he already has. And it fucking terrifies him. He's only ever wanted one thing: to transform and make things right after Freeza destroyed everything. But now he's preoccupied, and he can't handle it. He doesn't know what to do. What any of it means. What he really wants out of any of it. And he has no idea what she wants either. Only that however many times he tries to stay away from her, they always end up tangled up again. He couldn't even tell her how he feels even if he wanted to because he's so clueless about what's happening to him.

Meanwhile Bulma is just absolutely floored by how intense everything is from the beginning. She wonders if it's a saiyan thing, or if he's just intense like that himself. She doesn't know what Vegeta's full history with sex is, but she knows it's complicated. All she knows is that he kisses her like it's his last day on Earth. That he fucks her like he couldn't resist her if he tried (and he does try). And she can't help but ride that high. She brings this mysterious, strong, and austere man to his knees, and her power over him is intoxicating. She knows she shouldn't play around with someone so dangerous even if she's convinced he'll become an ally eventually. She knows that most of her friends wouldn't approve. It's not like she wants to DATE Vegeta. But gods...his desperation, the way he almost worships her, how wild and even frightening he can be---she can't help but indulge herself at least a little bit even if it's against her better judgment. It's not serious, after all. It's not like Vegeta of all people would even want to be some kind of partner to her anyway. He just wants sex (right?), and that's all she wants too. So she proposes a friends-with-benefits situation that they are determined to keep on the down-low.

Vegeta's head is just spinning at all of this. He still doesn't fucking know what to do with her. He can't have an attachment to her---especially not now when his sole focus needs to be transforming---but imagining his life without her is just... So he just lets her call it whatever she pleases, as long as no one else is involved and no one else knows about it. The weakness all the more glaring and real if other people know about it. He can tell himself he is just having sex with her so he can stay focused on training. Nothing more than that. Certainly not.

Over the course of it, Vegeta's feelings for her just intensify. If he was head over heels before they had sex, the more time they spend and the more intimate they become, he only falls more madly in love with her. And while Bulma tells herself that feelings aren't really involved for her beyond the friendship she develops with him, she has little pangs of romantic longing that hit her out of nowhere from time to time. Almost hard not to when the sex is the way that it is. She wonders sometimes if he has feelings for her. Real feelings. But he just couldn't, right? She's just being a silly hopeless romantic like she was when she was younger, and she's over that. He's an alien with a tortured past, and he's not boyfriend material, and she's fine with that. That's not what she wants anyway. Certainly not right now with the end of the world around the corner.

We all know how things go down after this, though, don't we?

But yeah. I headcanon Vegeta falls first and harder, whereas Bulma falls gradually after they become involved. Bulma has experienced good relationships before, and she wasn't looking for a romance with Vegeta in the wake of her breakup. Vegeta, on the other hand, hasn't experienced romantic love or sexual attraction where things weren't fucked up and fraught in some way before. So his "relationship" (re: passionate affair) with Bulma means so much more to him even if he couldn't articulate it. It completely blows him away, but he doesn't have the context or emotional insight to make sense of it. So he just panics, lol.

[canisalbus]

Just recently discovered your tumbler and I love everything about it. Your art style, the time period you have chosen, the background you are building for the characters. Top notch.

Though I do have a question : going back through all the asks people are tending to focus on sunny boi Vasco supporting nerve wracked Machete but a relationship needs to be equal so, what's the turn around?

When/how does Machete say 'don't worry babe, I've got this'? He is after all a very accomplished and competent person inside his areas of expertise.

Because of his trusting and altruistic nature, Vasco has been burned in relationships before. Even though he's good at reading people and might sense that he's being treated unfairly, he endures it because he doesn't want to be the bad guy and upset the other person. He's from a well known noble family, he's affluent and he's considered to be very good looking. Over the years he has met countless people who wanted to take advantage of him, his status and his assets in a way or another, and he has hard time tolerating that kind of greed and dishonesty. Machete has never been interested in his pedigree or wealth, and the way he's utterly devoted to him makes Vasco feel confident and secure.

He's been forced into various boxes and moulds all his life, his family had high expectations for him and did their hardest to whip him into a shape that satisfied them (now that I think about it, Vasco's parents probably would've been proud if their son turned out more like Machete, hard working high achiever). He tries to not let it bother him, but on some level he does feel guilty for letting them down. Machete is Vasco's biggest fan, he earnestly believes in him and loves him the way he is. He feels like he doesn't have to pretend to be something he's not around him, but at the same time Machete's influence makes him want to be a better person. Vasco admires his ambition, knowledge, diligence and perseverance. Machete tries very hard to be a good person and do a good job, but because he's so difficult to get close to and puts up such a cold facade, his efforts tend to go unnoticed. Vasco sees this side of him and finds it very charming.

Machete could use a lot of tlc and Vasco is happy to be there to provide it. The fact he's able to have such a profound positive effect on someone and their quality of life makes him feel needed, he feels like he's contributing something good to the world and that gives him strength. It's not like his only job is to pat Machete's head and tell it's going to be alright though, they enjoy each other's company and feel at ease together. In a way Machete also has a calming effect on Vasco. On his good days he can be very pleasant company, he's interesting to talk to, he's kind and gentle and even awkwardly funny at times, he has an eye for beauty and is able to appreciate small good things in their lives. He isn't an expert in expressing his affection physically, but when he does, Vasco can trust that his attempts are authentic.

Machete may not always know the correct words and gestures to comfort him, but he's a good listerer and does his best to be there for him. He never belittles or makes fun of him, he's patient and forgiving when Vasco makes mistakes, and will drop everything if he's ever in a need of help. He often makes Vasco feel seen and understood like no one else. Machete is good at solving dilemmas and coming up with working solutions (or preventing problems from ever arising, more often than not), and Vasco has the nerves of steel to keep him grounded and stable at a time of crisis. Together they make a very efficient and resourceful team.

Their jobs are very similar, Machete works for the church and Vasco is a secular politician, but they both deal with diplomacy and foreign relations. They end up working together often, and since Machete is very competent in what he's doing, he often ends up helping and advising Vasco.

I think despite their differences, they're just very well in tune with each other. In the ways that actually matter, they have common interests, tastes and worldviews. They enjoy similar things. And the parts that differ tend to augment them instead of driving them apart. A lot of their fondness stems from the fact they have a lot of shared history, they met at a young age and their friendship-turned-romantic was a very formative experience for both.

Should it be necessary, Machete would face God and walk backwards into hell to protect Vasco.

[unrequitedloveisabitch]

it's so interesting to me how Jean kept calling Neil insignificant and powerless after his meeting with Ichirou, but like, Neil is on a slightly different level than the rest, I feel. Even Ichirou said so in tkm. He is insignificant, but not as much as Jean is, or even Kevin.

Jean is the son of someone who owed the Moriyamas money, he was sold to them, he is nothing but a possession. Even Kevin was just the son of a friend of a second son. But Neil was the son of the main branch's right hand man. The gives him more pull, more significance, even if he is still just an asset to them. Ichirou says that Nathan was someone to him, which is why he meets with Neil and hears Neil's opinion.

It makes me think about a lot of things. Like how Neil would have been as a Raven. And about the wildness in Neil that Jean says Kevin should have beat out of him. Kevin is right in saying that no one could. That wildness would have protected Jean in the nest. It should have. Riko wouldn't have been able to break him the same way he did the others, not completely. And I wonder what kind of future that would have led to for Neil, and Kevin, and Jean.

It makes me think about Neil's future in canon, too. Especially after the scene with Stuart and the FBI.

Neil telling Jean that having connections makes you safer because that means the Moriyamas feel they have someone to threaten if you step out of line. As if he wouldn't burn the world to the ground if any of his people were hurt.

I love Neil Josten so fucking much. I can't wait to see more of him in the next book.

[canmom]

inadequate definitions of a computer game

I'm a game dev! So I make these things called computer games. But what is it that I'm making exactly?

One simple answer is that a computer game is a string of data. That is, after all, what Steam sends you when you buy a game. The data consists of instructions, art assets, text strings, metadata etc which can be 'executed' by a suitable computer to play that game. And if you copy that data without paying the right person you're a criminal doing a crime etc etc.

But is that data the game? It can't be, because you can have completely different data that is still 'the game'. A Windows build and a Linux build of a game are probably no more similar than any two random binary strings. If you know what you're looking for you could correlate them piece by piece - that string of data represents that texture, which is present in both - but only if you know, and you decompress the data the right way etc etc. But they're the same game, because they do the same thing when you run them.

So it seems a computer game is defined by what it does rather than how it's represented on the computer. This isn't a unique property of computer games - consider how many ways you can encode a movie for example.

But which of the things it does define a given game? Computer games have a remarkable number of pieces to them, and as you soon find out when you're making one, they can all be swapped out pretty freely.

For example, a game's music is often a pretty integral part of 'the experience'. But you can easily mod a game to have different music. We don't usually consider such a modded game to be a different game entirely. Well, it's a matter of degree, it's not absolute... swap out a game's music and it's still the same game. Replace all the models, levels, etc etc as in a 'total conversion' mod and it is a 'new game'. Where we draw the line is ultimately arbitrary...

But this is pretty remarkable, I think. Most artworks in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction(TM) have a pretty fixed form. A movie is a sequence of images and sounds arranged in time, a novel is a specific string of characters. Computer games, though, are flexible things.

A computer game is assembled from lots of little elements. Each of them on their own might be more or less specific, but it's how they're put in relation to each other that gives a game its identity. You glue together these elements in the mind of the audience: play the song City Ruins (Rays of Light) and if you've played the game, it will likely conjure the image of 2B's dress, the feeling dodging the machine lifeforms, the story about the androids and their existential tragedy, all unified in this thing we call "NieR Automata". In another universe, we could imagine that some other elements were tied together in this way - another game that happened to compose the 'same song' with a different aesthetic or mechanics. But the game is beloved because all these things are considered consonant.

Computer games share this in common with film, comics, etc etc. - they're all combinations of other art forms. But computer games have this extra thing that's more or less unique to the medium, the element of direct interaction with some kind of mutable 'state' inside the computer.

At a lower level of abstraction, when you interact with a computer game, data is sent from a controller (keyboard etc) to be read by the game, which modifies some stored state in computer memory; another part of the program 'reads' that state and displays pixels on the screen. Which means there is this separation between the presentational aspect and the 'mechanics'. You look the screen and see a human running but I, the game developer, can 'know' that what's 'really' going on is that a capsule collider is moving across a plane, and we change the position and rotation value based on your input. Then, to 'draw it', another variable holds animation state, and we're sampling the animation data, and doing some IK, and deforming vertices on the GPU, and pumping it through a fragment shader and so on... but all of that graphics stuff could be swapped out and the game would still 'play the same' in the sense that the same inputs would change the game state in the same way with the 'same outcome'. There are even some games, like NetHack and Dwarf Fortress, which support many different 'frontends' which look quite different.

But which is more 'real'? We can't see the game state. We might say that given this game state we update this enum to the value we consider to mean a player has won (let's say... 0b00000010), but the only way that the player knows they've won it is if we display a corresponding message on the screen. That's the only reason we care, as well. The presentation is absolutely integral. All that internal state is just there to make sure that 'you won' and whatever other information is displayed on the screen at the right time to maintain the illusion that 'there is a game' which we're working so hard to convey.

And the state of the program is not exactly what we're trying to convey. The player is not imagining floating point values changing, let alone cpu instructions changing a binary field, or voltages in silicon; they're imagining an object in a location. 'A character jumping.' We are trying to make sure that fantasy is believable. Every layer has to work together to make this happen. Ultimately what we're creating is a rectangle of flickering lights but if we do our job well enough, and it's approached with a willingness to suspend disbelief, it will come across as something like a place inhabited by something like people...

So a game isn't any particular element of its aesthetic presentation, and it isn't the way its data changes in response to interaction. It's some kind of gestalt created from the two, only when a human interacts with the whole system, which allows them to conjure a fantasy in large part designed by another human - and have this external thing reinforce it and make it feel concrete. That's what it's my job to create. What a marvellously abstract entity...

[empyreansentinel]

since ive started my most recent playthrough of the series im just. constantly reminded of how shitty of a hand the bandits got dealt. starting with dahl dumping thousands of convicts into pandoras penal colonies, as well as establishing civilian settlements like fyrestone. this went on for generations, maybe. long enough for zed to be born and go grey. atlas shows up, chases off dahl and the planet is put under new, neglectful management. this opens the prisons, and the "unworthy" convicts clash with the "worthy" dahl settlers for resources. violence breaking out is inevitable because violence is the only thing the bandits have. BL1 VHs come in, killing their way through every camp and mine and settlement they can get into, for no other reason than Bandit Bad and theyre in the way of our money. lets go into their homes and kill them because they would have probably tried to kill us if we hadnt. the first people they meet are settlers, of course theyre going to feel this way. the only pushback they get is atlas trying to "protect" barons territory because they want the vault key from his men. and it doesn't stop them from throwing him to the wolves once his value as bait outweighed his value as an asset. atlas sends them after flynt with the false promise of a key fragment, something the VHs have killed for before, so why would this be any different? the vault key is reformed. destroyer pops out of the vault, cracks open the planet, and then hyperion hits pandora. i dont need to explain hyperion. everyone, if nothing else, has played BL2. more prisons, more exploitation, this time on a scale several times that of dahl or atlas. but the bandits still dont get the benefit of a doubt, even though they are facing the same dangers that sanctuary does. and worse, seeing as how they dont have a flying city with a bubble around it. once the BL2 VHs touch down, theyre mincemeat. all of a sudden, theyre fighting a war on all fronts. so they lose their leadership. captain, flanksteak, mortar, nisha in 2. nine-toes, sledge, krom, baron in 1. and they also lose a good half of of their population to boot. so...what can they do that wont get them steamrolled by pandoras benevolent saviors? they unite. BL3 rolls around and every bandit clan on pandora has been assimilated into the COV because that is the only level of security they have left. except it still isnt safe because now theyre quite literally being eaten and mutated by the ones who are supposed to be protecting them. and then theyre still being mowed down regardless, because the calypsos dont provide any real kind of safety, they just have a veil of community. which is then lost when the twins die and the world almost gets destroyed by the great vault. and now the crimson raiders are...leaving, maybe? which might be for the best. maybe what this planet needs it just to be left the hell alone.

[sodafrog13]

finally was able to get down my visual hcs for mary :] i think she, hench, and the son have a Very interesting dynamic. more thoughts under the cut if u care to peek (careful, it's wordy)

i think hench and mary have been together long term by events of the game and i specifically think they started dating when hench wasn't working for the son yet

i actually think he used to work for the columbians, based mostly on mary's intense shock that the son would be so willing to let him leave and also the fact that his skin tone matches the default skin tone of the normal columbian mobsters (though the latter could admittedly just be attributed to dennaton's heavy use of palette swapping and sprite refurbishing). in my thinking, he and/or mary got into some sort of trouble with his former boss and pledged his loyalty to the son and his family if they would be able to get him out.

in doing so, it was made specifically clear to the henchman (likely by the father) that if he were to ever double cross them, he'd have both him and mary killed. thusly, the henchman did everything in his power to be an asset to the russian mafia, so much so that the son, more lenient when it came to the terms of their agreement than his father though perhaps more willing to actively test them, took a shine to him.

the son is curious of mary. as a gay man who doesn't really know he's gay, he honestly has the tendency to be misogynistic to women he doesn't see as his equal (ie the bodyguard), as his interests truly lie in patriarchal views of masculinity and power. he at least has enough foresight to recognize how important she is to the henchman and is fine with letting her be (past the occasional remark about her to the henchman directly). that said, he does consider her a bit of a hindrance re: the henchman's ambitions, but again, never to the extent he'd do anything about it.

mary is genuinely unnerved by the son. she has every right to be, considering both her and her partner's safety are basically up to his family's whims, but she lets the henchman go as he pleases. she recognizes that he has a genuinely fondness for his boss (because it's the same kind of fondness that he has for her) and quite honestly, she doesn't mind him having another partner so long as he's honest with her. it's just the fact that it's him that puts her off. she, however, also has concerns re: the henchman's plans for the future. she doesn't really Mind that they're not married but it is something she'd enjoy. that, and she really does wonder how much longer he's willing to keep doing mob work. he's not old per se but he's definitely not as young as he used to be, and even she can see that he won't last very long with the life that he leads and that scares her.

the henchman is... well, he's indecisive. doesn't really know what he wants until it's hitting him in the face. he's honestly just fine coasting around until some other force leads him off his beaten path, something that annoys the son and concerns mary because it really does sometimes come to a battle of who can get through to him first, even if none of them really know it. he loves them both, he really does, but he's also fickle. because even though he wants them both, he also secretly wants a certain level of freedom that he just can't have by being both tied to people and also a job (as seen in that dream he has where he's driving out of miami, not only without his girl or his boss but in spite of the hurricane that he's sure to run into). so maybe it's not even that he's indecisive, he knows what he wants it's just that he knows, logically, that it is something he cannot have. so he just willingly keeps himself in that loop until something breaks, that something being all those dreams that richard was sending him in an attempt to break the bigger cycle of things.

in a different world, i'd like to imagine that they can work things out. i truly do not blame mary for what she did, because i truly would have done the exact same thing as her in that situation even if it wasn't necessarily what was 'right'. but i feel that in that same vein, hench could have done more to reassure her that things would be fine, esp considering he has a personal enough connection to the son to know that he's different from his father.

but also i mean we all know that nobody in miami has communication skills. that'd be ridiculous there'd be no game otherwise

[my-drama-heart2406]

Okay so Satan is not gone.

We saw that Satan's power is seeing people's dreams and also going into people minds making them live out realistic dreams of their own desires and then twisting them at the end.

Paimon's powers also consisted dealing with dreams/nightmares. But it was pretty straightforward. See Justitia was not even under any spell, she knew it was a dream, an illusion and knew that the person attacking her was not Han Daon. Yet at that point she loved him so much that she couldn't bare to hurt even an illusion of him.

But Satan's powers are different. He makes one feel as if they are living out their strongest deepest desires and then twists them at the end. The way he did for Jeong Taegyu and for Justitia.

Moreover, we clearly see Bitna fighting a losing battle with Satan. Like we know Satan's strength is comparable to Bael's. And he says it himself too. That there are levels to a demons strength, so she can't defeat him even if she wants to. And one moment we see Satan laughing at Bitna and he says the spell to send her to her nightmares. And the next moment we see Bitna easily beating the shit out of him. And as she sends him into Gehenna he says, "No please", a very odd thing to say for Satan.

Also it would be kind of weird that they pulled the Satan reveal for so long and then ended it within 10 mins.

This is Satan we're talking about. His spells, be it a dream or nightmare aren't going to be as straightforward or easy as that of Paimon's. The way Jeong Taegyu's dream began with him killing Satan and taking all the money and assets, i.e., the thing he wanted to do. The same way after Satan says the spell we suddenly see Bitna easily winning against him. So I guess Bitna is still under Satan's spell and the nightmarish twist is yet to come.

Also I don't really think we're in a lot of danger. We saw in the preview for the 2nd last episode that Bitna is dying, and given how misleading previews are I don't think we need to worry too much.

[perfectprofessorloverapricot]

Small big problem

Pairings: Peter B. Parker x giant spiderman reader (platonic), Mayday x giant spiderman reader (platonic).

Summary: Some times is easy to to forget that even the strongest can be vulnerable.

Warnings: none.

A/n: this is my first time writing straight and purely in English, and it’s freaking hard when it’s not your native language. All my respect for the people that can.

Masterlist

In the spiderverse, a place of infinite possibilities, it’s easy to find every kind of people. Different Spider-Mans with different abilities.

There are different variants like Miguel with his claws and fangs, like Hobby with an always present distinction in his movements typical of his dimension, Jessica with her webs that come out of her fingertips and fights on a motorcycle or Margot with her avatar that has a physical and tangible form. Then there are the common variants like Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy. But even then, knowing of the possibilities, it was big shock for Miguel, Jess and Peter B. to land on a dimension were everything was huge. It was even more shocking to find the anomaly they were chasing, being pinned down by the big hand of the universe’s Spiderman.

But surprises don’t end there.

The moment he took off his mask in front of the team, every one was left speechless.

“Sooo…” started Jess.

Finally coming out of his shock, Peter smiles watching a young, smiling and fresh face under the mask. “Yep, a new teammate.”

Y/n rises both his eyebrows in slight confusion when both spider people turned towards the bigger guy among them. Because to him, they were all still small. His always been the tall kid in everything, but he totally feels like a giant in front of 3 people standing on an AC engine to stand shoulder height level with him. Basically, they were like 12 inches action figures to him.

Miguel, on the other hand, wasn’t thrilled to the idea of including another hormonal teenager to the society.

“Absolutely not.” he stated, turning his back on them and start messing with the watch.

Peter was the first to start arguing. “Oh come on. Big guy here-“ he said while pointing with his head at the young giant. “handled the anomaly effortlessly. He could totally be a good asset.”

Jess crossed her arms over her almost unnoticeable baby bump. “I agree with Peter in this.”

Miguel sighted turning around. “No. I already let you two persuade me to let Hobbie, Gwen and Pavrit into the society. I don’t need another teenager.” He said, making hand gestures to make emphasis in his point.

“Umm…” the three adults turned to the young boy when he got their attention. “If I may ask. What is this team you are talking about?”

Miguel opened his mouth under his mask to answer but was beaten by Peter. “It’s supper cool. You’re gonna love it kid. We are part of a society that reunites variants of Spiderman from different universes to protect the multiverse.”

“Wait, so- the theory of multiverses is real?” Asked the young one.

Peter, being the science nerd he is, started to explain. “Yeah. Miguel-“ he said, pointing at the líder of the group. “-our boss, leads mostly everything in there. He’s the only Spiderman that’s not funny, but everyone else is, so don’t worry. And it’s incredible to work with the other variants. Entertaining. But you should-“

“It’s not supposed to be fun or entertaining.” Interrupted Miguel with his authoritative voice. “This is serious. The multiverse is under our protection-“

“Ugh, and there you go again.” Complained Peter like a kid. “Killjoy. You keep repeating and repeating the same thing…”

While Peter and Miguel kept discussing the matter at hand like a married couple, Jessica and Y/n shared some glances between them. The younger asking ‘Is this normal?’ with his eyes, to which she replied ‘you have no idea’ with her own look.

Kind of feeling guilty for causing the discussion, Y/n tried to fix it. “It’s not necessary. Besides, I don’t think it would work.” He talked again, gaining the attention of the team. “You seem pretty surprised by my size. Which makes me think that the rest of the dimensions are on a smaller scale. It’ll be difficult or strange for the people in those dimensions to suddenly see a big Spiderman”

Peter turned to Miguel and threw him a bad look. “And now you made him feel bad.”

Miguel made his mask disappear just so Peter could see his offended expression. He can’t be serious, right?

Jess and Y/n felt the need to face palm so hard in that moment.

Long story short, Miguel ended up giving in and accepted the young Spiderman in the society.

The first days were something.

Most were intimidated merely by his height, that is until they all saw the friendly face under the mask when he took it off. But a special gang was the most interested in the newbie. Hobie, Pav and Gwen. The same teenagers Miguel was complaining about. He could understand why, the gang has too much energy for the poor man to handle. That’s why he has taken in to his own hands, the task to entertain the group whenever they are in his office.

Partly he does it so he doesn’t get in Miguel’s bad side and on the other hand, he wants to help the boss whose hate for life seems to grow every passing day.

Other than being busy with the gang, everything else was going perfectly fine.

He was called on difficult missions with Miguel, Jess and Peter B. after checking that the mission site is spacious enough for him to move. Or even leading his own missions with Gwen, Pav and Hobie. The last one was the hardest to convince to follow instructions, but he found a way to convince him to do what he wants without him even noticing, at least not until it was already done. Reverse psychology is what worked the most.

Until there was a problem. Hobie and Gwen were called to move a doc Oc anomaly to another universe in order to fight without causing damage to the surroundings. But they didn’t expect for the anomaly to have such an advanced technology so they called for back up, aka, Y/n.

But they forgot to mention a small detail.

The anomaly was in Lego Spider-Man’s dimension.

Y/n had such a heart attack when he came flying out of the portal and instantly had to calculate the landing to avoid destroying everything.

It was inevitable.

His foot alone covered the whole street.

Back up for the back up was needed, and seconds later Jess and spider byte appeared taking care of the situation.

But poor Y/n still was left with the horrified faces of the citizens in his mind. He doesn’t know how many bit the dust because of his mistake because there were to many casualties caused by the anomalies attack. It was a miracle that Lego Spider-Man’s dimension didn’t disappear.

Gwen and Hobie were scolded for how careless they were in their decision making once they returned.

Y/n didn’t leave his own dimension for a week with Miguel’s permission to stay out of missions until further notice.

It took the whole gang and spider Lego himself to convince him to go back to the HQ.

It was hilarious for him to see the relieved face of Miguel when he again was in charge of the teenagers. Poor man felt like he was one step away from strangling them all.

It took some time and encouragement from those who care about him but everything went back to normal. Dealing with anomalies and protecting tiny people, training with different variants of Spider-Mans that were brave, confident or stupid enough to face him, and last, the most fun thing to do is invite the gang to his universe just to see them mess around with things bigger than them. His locked screen picture is a selfie he took with them holding or eating a slice of pizza half their size.

But just like with any normal human being, there are good days and bad days. Just like the present.

Y/n dedicated himself to roam in the halls of the HQ trying to clear his mind of his thoughts while he waited for a call from any Spiderman in need of back up.

There has been some things troubling him at home. The need of silence and time brought him to the training zone.

Due to the busy day, most of the spider variants are out, dealing with things in their own dimension or chasing anomalies. That left the HQ almost empty, even the training zone.

He went to the machine that simulates carrying to trains and sat down letting his feet dangle from the edge.

Many would think that being Spiderman means not having to deal with common problems. That everything is about villains and training with cool super powers. But they forget that under the mask, there’s a normal teenager with normal problems.

But still problems.

“There you are.”

Y/n flinched in his place when he heard the voice so close behind him. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice he wasn’t alone anymore.

When he turned he found Peter B. walking towards him with his always smiling baby attached to his chest.

“It’s unusual to not see you with the teenage gang during missions.” Said Peter watching his daughter impatiently kicking her legs. His smile faltered when he didn’t recibe an answer from the young giant. He looked up encountering Y/n staring at his baby with an unreadable look. Not in a bad way but still worrying. “You okay kid?”

Y/n was startled out of his thoughts. He looked away and fiddled his fingers, putting a smile in his face that didn’t reach his ears. “Yeah, yeah. Just- you know… thinking.” Said the teenage with some insecurity. “The usual.”

Peter rises an brow at the down attitude. That is totally not the usual.

Normally, whenever the giant boy sees Mayday or Jess swollen belly there’s instantly a smile in his face. But today doesn’t seem like the case.

“Hey, everything okay?” Asked the father. “Because that doesn’t sound like the usual.”

He saw Y/n’s shoulders tense up when he was caught and he didn’t like it. That meant that something is bothering him.

In a silent message that he is not leaving, Peter sat down beside the boy, looking at the hyperactive Mayday to avoid putting pressure on the teenage.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Y/n visibly deflated at those words, letting out a sigh. “It’s just-“ the words got stuck in his throat, unable the let them out. “No, forget it. It’s something stupid.” Dejectedly, he placed his elbows on his knees.

Peter put a hand on the boys side, in a reassuring way. It was the only place he could reach. “If it’s bordering you I doubt it’s stupid.”

Both of the males turned to look at Mayday when she stared fussing in the carrier. Her little hands swaying in the boys direction.

“Oh look. Little Parker here noticed that someone is sad.” Said Peter while taking his baby out of the carrier. He bounce her up and down, managing to get a laugh out of her. Instantly, better than a charm, there was a smile in Y/n’s face. But just like before, his smile slipped of his lips, returning to that indecipherable look.

Suddenly a lightbulb light up in Peters head. He stood up with Mayday in his hands and held her in front of him. “Hold her.” He said.

The sudden request startled the big guy, making him jump in his place and lean away from Peter. “What?”.

“Hold her.” He said again, bringing her nearer.

“I-I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Oh come one. It’s rejuvenating.” Y/n shifted a little to the side when Peter walked closer.

“N-No. I’m serious. It’s not a good-“

“Here” in a swift movement, Peter put his baby in the teenager’s arm. Mayday’s spider ability did the rest. She stuck to Y/n’s spider suit.

The poor giant froze in his place, he even stoped breathing in fear of blowing her away or something like that.

He may like the baby, but he’s never hold a baby, much less one this small. He is truly terrified that he’ll hurt her. She is just so small.

Both males’ attention was on the baby that stared crawling with curiosity in the new surface. She looked happy to be freed of her fathers baby prison in his chest.

Y/n, instinctively put a big hand under the baby, in case she fell, finally letting out a breath.

When she actually let herself fall and land on her back on the hand, y/n had a mini heart attack. But ultimately let a sigh of relief when she let out a giggle.

To be more comfortable, y/n brought Mayday in front of him and put his free hand below the other just in case.

Peter felt accomplished when he saw that smile in the young one’s face again. “See? Everything’s okay.”

Y/n’s smile widened when Mayday grabbed his thumb and hug it like one of her plushies. She truly is adorable. With her fluffy and curly red hair she looks like a little peach in the palm of his hand. A small baby of the size of his middle finger.

“I’m going to be a big brother.” Blurted out suddenly the teenage.

Peter blinked a few times at the declaration before finally processing. “Congratulations kid. That’s cool. Your gonna be a big sibling.” Said the man, rising his hands in celebration.

The big smile in his face waved when he saw that expression in the teenage’s faces.

“Or not?” He said a little bit unsure.

Y/n kept looking at the baby hugging and chewing his thumb. Always making eye contact with her. “It is good.” He brought his free hand closer to the other, tickling her soft chubby tummy, earning a squeal from her. “It’s the almost inexistente relationship between my mother and I that worries me.” He finally confessed.

It may have been only a few words, but the relief that brought him was evident in the way his shoulders slumped. Finally he could talk about it.

Understanding the seriousness of the situation, Peter took a seat beside the young giant in a silent sigh that he is paying attention.

“When my father died, we unconsciously stared to distance ourselves from each other. And when we realized what was happening we tried to fix it but…” Y/n physically grimace at the memories. “It was so painfully awkward between us.”

Peter’s eyes softened when the teenager took one hand of his daughter between his thumb and index. Softly caressing the chubby palm.

“And then there’s Tom.” The adult gave him a questioning look, not knowing who is Tom. “He… is my stepfather.” The teenager clarified.

“Is he a bad person?” Asked Peter a little confused why it seems like something is happening.

“No, actually no. Totally the opposite.” Y/n sighed again. “He is a good guy. He loves my mother, makes her happy and everything.”

Mayday grabbed the index that kept her arm trapped, as a way of revenge. She wrapped her arms and legs around the finger before it was lifted.

The adorable baby giggle when she was moved up and down, always keeping a hand below her for protection. The sight brought a smile to the faces on those present.

“In short, he is good for her. But he trays way too hard to be on my good side to the point it becomes really uncomfortable. And now with the baby…” At last, after everything being said, he turned to look at Peter.

The adult didn’t need the teen to finish the sentence to understand what he meant. “You fear that gap between you will only widen.”

Y/n nodded.

Peter’s gaze softened at the simple yet complicated problem. He’s had a few of those and there’s always a way to clear it.

“Look kid. Let me tell you something” Said Peter, putting a hand in Y/n’s elbow again. “I may not know your mother, but if there’s something being a father and married has thought me…”

As if knowing what her father is saying, Mayday squealed while attaching a web in Y/n’s finger to let herself dangle between his hands.

“Is that, a parent’s love knows no limits.”

Y/n nodded understanding. It was right, after what happened with his father the same year he became Spiderman, his mother became a single mother who worked overtime just to pay the bills.

She could have just sent him to an orphanage or call social services. But she didn’t. She fought to give him a good future.

“But you should talk to her.” Said Peter again catching his flying baby when she swung to her father’s arms, startling the poor boy. “We know our kids more than anyone else. But we still can’t read minds.” Concluded the father.

Simple words with a heavy bust of confidence were delivered.

Y/n let out a chuckle. He couldn’t believe it. The goofiest spider dad he has ever met actually made him feel better.

“Thanks. That actually helped.” He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with air and straightening his back.

“By the way.” Started Peter again. “You held Mayday without her making a fuss. Have you considered being a babysitter?” The ridiculously out of the blue question with his serious face made Y/n snort and shake his head. “No, I’m serious. Mayday loves you and MJ and I have been planning to go on a date for months but there’s no one we trust enough you know. With her having super powers and all.” Quickly explained Peter while bouncing his baby.

Y/n rolled his eyes with a smile. “I’ll think about it Peter. But no promises.”

In celebration, Peter threw May in the air. “Yes.” He caught the squealing baby.

“If that is the case, I’ll totally have to make an appointment beforehand.” Said a feminine voice behind them.

They turned finding the very pregnant spider woman of the society.

“Why did I suddenly became a babysitter material?” Asked the teenager in fake annoyance.

Jess smiled up at him. “You always were. With babysitting the young spider gang and everything. You’ll just babysit a real baby this time.” She said with obviousness in her voice.

Y/n nodded his head, accepting his reality.

Peter turned to Jessica, standing up with Mayday finally in the carrier again. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in stand by ordered by Miguel.”

“Miguel needs a hand in the mission. Three pairs of hands to be exact.” She clarified while starting to introduce the coordinates in her watch.

“What? Is the boss getting his butt kicked?” Joked Y/n standing up.

“Seems so. Let’s move.” Ordered the woman.

After the portal big enough for them was opened, the three were launched through the multiverse.

Y/n doesn’t know how it feels to be normal and thinking civil problems are the biggest weight his shoulders could ever carry.

But he does know that being Spiderman is something he would never give up.

He could never give this awesome people in the society up.

He would give his life first.

100%

[tiffany-loves-broadway]

The Nameless

It's pride month, so I'm finally getting into X-Men. (Okay, I didn't actually plan it out that way, but it lined up.) Anyway, I'm surprised that everyone hasn't already gone nuts about the X2 villain's extremely miserable trans daughter.

Now, the thing is, this isn't explicitly confirmed in the text. But the subtext is in-your-face enough that it feels dismissive to call it a "headcanon". Like, this is the same movie with the line "have you tried... not being a mutant?" in it, and this character being trans isn't particularly subtler writing than that. I don't think it was intended to be so obvious, though. 2003 was a different time.

So, like, quick rundown on the plot of X2. Colonel William Stryker (in the comics he was a minister instead) is a bigot who wants to exterminate all mutants. His most vital asset in doing this is his "son", known only as "Mutant 143", or more often by her birth name, "Jason Stryker". Mutant 143 is a powerful psychic who can control people through dreamlike visions. William never accepted his child's mutation, and pulled her from Charles Xavier's school when he realized that Professor X had no intention of "curing" her. William blames his daughter for his wife's suicide; he had Mutant 143 lobotomized and began a plan to use her as a weapon against all other mutants.

And the thing is, Mutant 143 physically looks like this:

But like. Why wouldn't she, with that kind of dad? He has full power over her and has deliberately rendered her a dependent he can micromanage. I mean, Jesus Christ, the line I just randomly stumbled upon while opening and closing my media player to get that screencap was William Stryker saying

No, Charles, my son is dead! My son is dead, just like the rest of you.

Meanwhile, she consistently depicts herself in her psychic visions as this little girl:

And, like, okay, the extremely surface-level I-never-think-about-trans-people reading of that is that she's picking a "harmless" form to better insinuate herself into her targets' minds. But first off, the film never says that; it doesn't even really imply it. She doesn't pick different forms for different people; we only ever see her psychic ego as that little girl. Second off, her power doesn't really require her to put effort into seeming harmless to control people; the dream visions are more of an aesthetic flare on her power than they are a necessary mechanism. When she gets her psychic talons into someone, she can just directly command them to do whatever the fuck out-of-character thing and they'll do it regardless of plausibility. She's the classic cheesy horror trope of the scary possessed little girl, and frankly I don't think it would be any easier to get Professor X to kill all mutants on the orders of a little girl than a little boy.

She's been reduced to a shell of a person, but some element of personal identity still remains there. In her power. The thing she's being oppressed for.

This character doesn't receive a real name in canon. She gets two names from her shitty father: the dehumanization inherent in "Mutant 143" is fairly obvious and uncontroversial, but given everything I'm saying here, I don't think "Jason" is really better. She likely identifies with that name exactly insofar as she's been brainwashed into wanting her own kind dead.

It complicates things a bit that Professor X, another powerful psychic who would likely know her well, also calls her "Jason" a few times. But given the unfortunate circumstances of the film's plot... even if he knew, what else would he call her? She hasn't been fortunate enough in life to get a real name. It's not like, within the plot of the movie, stopping and pointing out what was going on would have been likely to help anything.

This is thematically important to the movie. Magneto certainly isn't meant to be right about everything, but there is a sympathetic throughline to him and his attitudes about the oppression of mutants. Earlier in the movie, he indicates that he sees mutants' cape names (like "Magneto") as their real names, and he encourages his allies to see themselves that way. The trans applicability here is fairly obvious; superheroes and supervillains make up their own names that make their marginalized status obvious. They can publicly identify with them to advertise their mutant status to the world instead of hiding behind ordinary names they were given by majority society.

This character, this properly unnamed character, never got anything like that. She never got to choose her own name. She was compelled by force to betray herself and commit to an external name that was entirely hostile to her.

Anyway, after the X-Men escape from her devious psychic maze they leave her behind in a collapsing building where she presumably dies because she's unable to move herself without assistance. Life sucks and shit happens. It was 2003.

Looking through relevant tags, I was able to find a few short posts discussing this idea, but I'm surprised that they're so sparse and I'm surprised that they treat the idea as so speculative. It really leapt out at me, watching the movie.

[felassan]

let's talk a lil bit about the new Thedas Calls teaser and the new blog post, in relation to revisiting the DA:D leaks from around 10 months ago (potential DA:D spoiler warning for those last 2 links, as well as for under the cut below):

(I won't be posting the images and gif themselves from that leak here, not directly. here and here are some previous posts of mine talking/speculating about those leaks so that I don't repeat myself too much. and here is my DA:D spoiler tag in general in case it's of interest to anyone to browse or anyone wishes to blacklist it. also, the usual set of disclaimers that accompany all leaks applies - might not be real, unable to verify, games change a fair bit between development phases and final release, take with grain of salt etc).

okay, so really in this post I am just looking to tie the new teaser&blog info with that leak.

the new teaser indicates Weisshaupt as a location we'll be visiting in DA:D, seeming to confirm the leak, which shows the possible Player Character, Rook, and their companions including Davrin fighting through Weisshaupt ("Weisshaupt" can be seen in the top right text).

the new teaser implies something bad has happened to Weisshaupt (see bottom paragraph in that post) and when the 'Speaker 2' Warden character speaks their line, we hear the roar of battle, a battle cry, the clang of weapons etc. I wrote elsewhere that Speaker 2 (who insists that Wardens don't hide in their castle, they fight)

sounds like a hardened fighter, a seasoned commander. he is speaking when he’s about to be attacked, or in a pause in battle

and in the leak, text shows that Rook has the objective "Defeat the darkspawn", and shows them fighting through Weisshaupt in combat with darkspawn. this is not the worst of it however - per the dialogue there's "worse than darkspawn on the way", and the walls won't hold it back. we see Rook fighting what looks like those red lyrium-affected darkspawn creatures. Could the thing that is worse and on the way be the cause of the "tremors in the Anderfels" described in the blog post, or one of the "risen gods" mentioned in the teaser? I feel like if you squint, in some of the images from the leak, there looks to be the silhouette of a great beast in the background, maybe a dragon.

this location in the leak, also noted as Weisshaupt, looks to be this location from the teaser, just from a different angle/position on that 'level'. it has the same night-time, lighting, dark atmosphere, rocky cliffs, cloudyness, ruined buildings/structures, ominous feel, vaguely green tint etc.

the blue dome in that location also seems to show up as an asset in the Rivain segment of the teaser.

apart from the red lyrium darkspawn, the red lighting here in the leak (and potentially the reference to "Spawn Boils"), as well as the ominous spreading tendrils in the leak images in general, bring to mind the red lyrium-esque glow in part of this shot from the teaser.

the leak describes Rook as a "Level [x] Grey Warden" - interesting considering the prominence of Grey Wardens as a highlighted faction, locale (via Anderfels and their HQ), 'Warden Speaker' in the teaser and all. (remembering also the speculation that Warden is a potential background of some kind for the PC)

I also wonder if the big door with griffons on it in the leak is what looks to me like a door/gateway covered by the suggestion of red lyrium in the teaser. I feel like if you squint you can just about make out the pattern of the engraved griffons' wings on it, or those rayed lines from the bottom half of the door. (or is this just me seeing things hh?) in the leak the characters are trying to hold the door shut and there's no red lyrium on it. I guess they fail and it becomes tainted by red lyrium and destroyed/grown over or something, or the dragon etc that I presume they're trying to keep out, does end up busting through, with the walls around it becoming destroyed too. (easily done by a dragon, magic, red lyrium or stuff magic-warping bc of Fade shenanigans etc)

According to sources that spoke to Tom Henderson's Insider Gaming, "It’s understood that you’ll be able to move from your hub to missions by passing through a mirrored portal." I know the games have always had Fast Travel all over Ferelden as in DA:O or all over Ferelden and Orlais as in DA:I etc. and it's a game, so you don't really need an explanation for jumping around travel-wise due to gameplay-story segregation. the mirrored portal obviously sounds like an eluvian though and to tie this to the new teaser, with so many different locales shown across vast swathes of northern Thedas - Anderfels, Tevinter, Antiva and Rivain at least - I have to wonder again if the PC and their companions are travelling around these many different countries and across such distances via eluvians. I wrote elsewhere,

moving from a hub to missions through eluvians was exactly what we did in Trespasser from the Winter Palace, and it worked really well. Trespasser’s setup was really enjoyable. it was a fun mechanic that helped explain fast travel and apparent teleportation. it also allowed for travelling to places all over, from the Deep Roads to ancient elven ruins to places in-between the waking world and the Fade - a variety of handcrafted places to explore still but with a tighter storyline threading through them, as opposed to open-world that felt like it was probably mandatory to include during development because of other games on the market like Skyrim and AC, but which then struggled to be filled with meaningful content to fill the space and in which that struggle was apparent. I’d be down for that. I’m just daydreaming and speculating wildly now for real (bc it’s fun) but we could travel all over Thedas that way. We did that in [previous DA games] I know but you know what I mean?

at the very least from the new teaser we now know we're travelling to at least 4 different nations in DA:D. :>

Some leak-text on Reddit also accompanied the gif and screenshots from the leak. it again mentioned the darkspawn attacking Weisshaupt. as I wrote at the time, this "explains why Weisshaupt looks wrecked", now it seems like we are also seeing this in the new teaser (wrecked Weisshaupt). it seemed to confirm the influence of red lyrium also, mentioning that some of the enemy darkspawn "have red lyrium attacks", and confirmed the attacking dragon. I wrote at the time

The dragon is also Concerning.. like. Darkspawn attacking, with a dragon involved. That sounds like a Blight and an Archdemon. Is this the Sixth Blight? is it a Red Lyrium Blight? I'm reminded of this concept art. also HELLO?

not sure about a 'red lyrium Blight' / 'sixth Blight' exactly per se, but what it reminds me of again is the Anderfels blurb from the new blog,

ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀʀ ᴡᴇꜱᴛ, ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ɢʀᴇʏ ᴡᴀʀᴅᴇɴꜱ ᴘᴀᴛʀᴏʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴᴅᴇʀꜰᴇʟꜱ. ᴛʀᴇᴍᴏʀꜱ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴅɪꜱᴛᴜʀʙᴀɴᴄᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ʟᴀᴛᴇ. ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ɪꜱ ᴜɴᴋɴᴏᴡɴ. ᴜᴘᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪꜱᴛᴀɴᴛ ʜᴏʀɪᴢᴏɴ, ᴀ ꜱᴛᴏʀᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴏᴍɪɴᴏᴜꜱ ɪɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ʙʀᴇᴡꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇɴꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴋɪᴇꜱ.

as in, the contents of the leaks sure sounds like this 'storm of ominous intent that darkened the Anderfels skies' has now struck, and hit Weisshaupt.

In the leak it was noted that

"The objective is to fight through the Darkspawn to get to the library, but as you are doing so there is also a big ass dragon attacking from above. And the dragon creates occasional environmental and traversal hazards. It ends once you reach the library, close the gates, "and then come face to face with the dragon. It appears you are then supposed to try and chain the dragon up, but it ends before the player completes that."

(I said of this, "I guess the big lever we see has something to do with trying to chain the dragon up.") I feel like here in the new teaser we can see some hints of occasional environmental and traversal hazards, like lightning strikes (some dragons have lightning / electricity abilities right? like Vinsomer from the DA:D codex they shared with us), broken bridges and different places where we might have to jump to, hang from, or climb onto etc (and the leak had also mentioned that jumping returns). I also feel like, perhaps the ring-things in that shot from the new teaser have something to do with the chain-system mentioned in the leak, where it seems that you're supposed to then try and chain the dragon up. the leak also said that

"Basically, buildings and whatnot are all modeled and textured but the skybox itself is very dark and makes it seem as though the entire fortress is underground, although it is clearly not. I suspect the skybox could contain some giant world event, similar to the Breach, they hadn't finished."

given that in the new teaser Weisshaupt still looks dark, it seems like this was intentional? and likely due to the attack on the fortress and whatever giant world event may be appearing in the sky[box] that was theorized to being something similar to the Breach (and in that concept art of Weisshaupt).

[web-kindle]

!MASSIVE FOOLIVERSE RAMBLE! Read at your own peril!

Congratulations Erik! 🎊🥳🎊

You have successfully made me care more about the Fooliverse than ANY canon storyline you've currently got going on rn (Except for Hush and Vega, I'm still very invested in that). Forget the Balance, forget Sovereign State, forget the currently kinda stagnant DAMN storyline, I need more Fooliverse Lore! (Note: mildly hyperbolic, I do want Erik to push major storylines, but with the new schedule they're gonna take ages)

Like each character we've gotten so far have been so fun, but with them comes so many questions about the universe around them. For example (this is your final chance to escape, its a long one):

What's the rest of the DAMN crew like? Are they all complete opposites of their canon counterparts, and if not what stays the same. Gavin although quiet and submissive, still very much enjoys sex and partaking in it when he wants like in canon. So what about the others? Is Huxley less friendly in this AU, is he rude or just an actual loner that gave up on making real friends? Is he smarter or still a bit goofy? What about Lasko and Damien, what are their differences? Is Damien a member of staff or is Lasko a really extroverted student? Where's Kody in all this? Is he still a mild extremist or is he actually a cool dude? Maybe he's a jock unlike Huxley??? Like I'M SO INVESTED!

What's going on with the rest of the Rebaine Clan? Where was Marie when Milo's dad drunk himself to death and Milo got lost in the system? Was she an absent mother or was she just not related to Milo at all? Is she in the Rebaine Clan or is she the Queen of a Clan of her own? Where. Are. The Solaires?!?! I have to know if Vincent is still a human who survived The Surge and is just living life, or never got on in the first place. Did he ever meet Lovely, did he die on The Surge and not get saved? Was he born a Vamp, turned by William still, or someone else? Is William a minor Duke or something or still a King but not as important? What about being one of those High Council Vamps Milo mentioned? Is he even around? We know Porter is, like did Demetri save him, get Porter indebted to him, or was Porter born a Vamp and just joined the Clan??? And how close is the Clans relationship with the Talbot Pack. Like yeah their friends of the Clan, but to the same level as in canon, or more? Or less? We know Asher is more serious in this AU being the Alpha, so what's his relationship with Milo??? Are they close friends, or reluctant allies on a personal level? IS MILO STILL SHORT?!?! These are the questions we need answered

James we know is a stoner and that he doesn't see himself as a good person. Is he still part of ETS, doing stuff that doesn't sit well with him to the point he smokes to get away? Does he even have a job currently? Why does he feel like he's not a good/kind person? What did he do? Maybe it's just his personality this AU... But if James isn't part of ETS and Anton is in the Pack, who's running Project Meridian? Is the project even needed, cause if the Miridian is OK in this AU, maybe the company that would do it is just sticking to normal science projects (whatever that means). Where's Marcus in all this, is he still a weirdo, but in a different font? Maybe he's just a dude too, living life, or maybe Asset is just a person and they actual love Marcus and they live together with no issues... GOD this is so unfair that I don't know 😫

And more on Anton, we know he is a member of the Talbot Pack. It's cute he's so fun and carefree, not wondering when he'll see his Love again. He's flourishing in the Talbot Pack! I'm guessing he's just an ordinary member, but is he part of security (if the Pack still does that) or does he do his own thing. Maybe he's a stay-at-home partner, I wonder if he's still responsible somewhat to maintain the house easily or if he's completely a menace on that front.

What. Happened. To. Guy??? Cause why's my Guy so depressed? Is he still sharing an apartment with Mikayla, but Honey isn't there, so its sapping him of all his happiness? Did he confess but Honey was like "nah" and he's completely defeated in life. Maybe Guy tried to do more with his writing degree but it's not working out and him delivering pizza on the size is really knocking his motivation? What if he's just like that and things are a-ok overall. Maybe he barely reacted to Anton' wolf for cause he knows about magic (accidently or not) and is completely disillusioned about life cause "why are things still shit if magic exists" so he just doesn't care??? You can't leave me hanging like this Erik!!!

More on the Pack, DAVID IS OPENLY CALLED DAVEY! First, that's so fucking cute as hell, but I gotta know is it an inside joke, did Angel push for this, or maybe is naturally evolved and David doesn't mind anyone calling him that. Curious to see which one it is. We at least know based on his personality he's not highly likely to hate on it. Secondly, HIS DAD'S ALIVE (and seems to call his son for tech help lol). That's so sweet! ☺️ Shows how different he would be with his dad still around. And finally, damn he's such a sweetheart, and Angel is still a menace but a grumpy one instead. Its hot how he wants them to take the lead, begs for it even.

Overall love how cute he is in this, makes me question what his dynamic would be interacting with Milo in this universe. In fact, I wanna see more of his and Asher's best friend relationship in this AU. With their personalities, I feel like it would be really chill. Anyway, who is the Beta? It's not Davey and it doesn't seem to be Anton, so who is it? Maybe, it actually is Darlin like some people have been theorising. (Oh god Where's Sam in all this???) Or maybe Christian, which also makes me guess what the dynamic between him and Asher is like. Maybe it's not so different to his canon interactions with Alpha David.

And a side note, Alpha Asher just can't catch a break, it's like being the Alpha of this Pack curses you to be gruff and broody no matter what universe it happens in. At least no one close to him has actually died or something like in The Imperium. Unless if one or both of his parents died for him to become a grumpy Alpha!!! Who knows, its up for headcannon to decide. Mildly bummed out that we don't get a full vid or even an Asher cameo in this AU. A few references on his seemingly responsible lifestyle and kinda gruff character by other people is not enough. GIVE ME MORE OF THE FOOLIVERSE PUPPY!!! (Respectfully)

If you got to the end I sincerely apologise, you shouldn't have done that, but know you know the thoughts that have plagued my brain about this AU. Whilst there were some lighthearted demands in there just know they were all made in good faith and is just an indicator of how much I've enjoyed this AU. Its honestly been so fun and I hope it gets a comeback in some way.

Now it's time to bet on who the BAs gonna be about next month!

[dontneedhair]

On Identity And (Not) Being Seen

(Me kind of hidden, although more to be protected against sunburn in this case, and revealing all of my full cueball look.)

Sexuality seems to be tied to who we are, at least to a degree. One way this can find its expression would be when, let's say, a man introduces himself in front of a group, and often right after his name, he will add that he is married and has children. Describing himself as a family man can get him bonus points with a lot of people; it can help him to come across as less threatening and is surely seen as an asset in more conservative circles.

When, on the other hand, someone’s sexuality doesn’t correspond to what is seen as the norm, people often feel the need to name precisely that. And I’m not even primarily thinking of those who are "not corresponding", but of others describing them. I’ve often heard one person mentioning someone famous in a neutral or positive way, and another person immediately interjecting „But he/she is gay!“, which literally was meant as some sort of  „counterargument“. This occurs a lot less these days.

The same thing also easily happens when those talking about a gay person (to stay with the example) don’t have an issue with their sexuality, but still feel it’s an important characteristic that helps making sense of who that person really is. Maybe that is due to how our sexuality has an influence on the way we relate to others on a basic level.

Finally, people who tend to see themselves as „normal“ seem to feel compelled to state exactly that (one way or another) when others wrongly assume they are part of a sexual minority that was/is considered as „less normal“. And for someone from such a minority, being able to simply mention this aspect of their lives can feel like a huge relief.

Lately, I have thought A LOT about what this means for me as a shy, introvert gay man who’s sexuality is very much linked to different „non-standard practices“ (fetishes), of which hairlessness is one major example. And as I have written on here, I don’t believe I feel drawn to being degraded or humiliated because of my lack of hair. I rather love both the process and result of removing hair, be it on me or on other men.

By being hairless, I express a part of myself that feels both very authentic and vulnerable. Others will generally not know that a big part of my motivation to do this is sexual by nature, and since I’m a guy, many people will also feel free to comment on my appearance in my presence. Mostly not in a mean way, more like feeling the need to tell me I would look better with hair or, on the contrary, that the look really suits me.

Unbeknown to them, they are talking about something which for me is very intimate in nature, and that again is why they can easily step over some boundaries without even realising it. That can make me feel quite exposed, and in case of the more negative comments, insecure. I sometimes use the word „naked“ to describe that state, and some readers who comment on here or chat with me have also used that word in that context.

At the same time, I do actually long for this part of me to be seen by the people I’m close to, with whom I feel comfortable and who don’t have a problem with the concept of „different“. But these are the few people with whom it feels safe to discuss almost anything in connection with sexuality. That in turn rules out most of my family, acquaintances or people I work with. To be completely honest about my motivation to be bald/browless by choice really is that intimate to me. While I try hard not to lie about my motivations, what I will say when asked about it will most likely only amount to some form of „I like it that way“.

So to summarise, I express something very deep about myself by looking the way I do; I don’t want to hide that side of me, but I also don’t want to let everyone into that intimate space by telling me what they really think about it or asking me to justify myself. To complicate things even further, the possibility of being confronted can actually be a thrill, especially after having made some change in my appearance, when I’m not yet sure whether or not people will notice and if I’m going to get away with it. However, it is the possibility that’s the thrill. Being confronted or getting snark comments would actually be a major turn-off.

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

rereading chapter 7 and enjoying the development of baela and alicents dynamic so far. i do think baela as aegons queen (just like this whole situation) will always be bittersweet for alicent, because if things had gone differently, it would be helaena in baela's place. although her daughter actually wasnt alicents first choice before everything, viserys made that decision for her, which resulted in their 3 grandkids. the idiot put his daughter in the same situation that alicent was because those kids, including jaehaera would always have a better claim than rhaenyra and it would have quietly horrified and enraged alicent

Sansacherie, you get it! I think what's particularly insidious about the Aegon/Helaena match is that it cuts off all possible avenues for them to achieve financial independence and puts them entirely at the mercy of Rhaenyra, should she ascend the throne. That's a whole entire family that Rhaenyra has to feed, clothe, and house, all of them with legitimate claims to the throne who could challenge her or later Jace. Even if she doesn't kill them, they would be entirely beholden to her and dependent upon her generosity. I do think this was deliberate on Viserys' part. How could it not be? We've seen Targaryen princes, like Daemon, marry out. The fandom often treats that marriage to Rhea Royce like it's some sort of a punishment but I sincerely think it's a sign Alysanne favored him-- she set him up with an heiress, thus securing his and his children's futures. None of Viserys' children aside from Rhaenyra get this level of consideration.

That said, I do think Alicent made the best of a less than ideal situation and consoled herself with the idea that at least Helaena would close to her, and with time she got used to it. So in OFCIR it's definitely bittersweet for her. Now that she's over her initial "over my dead body" reaction, she sees Baela's potential and kind of wants to make a project of her. I think what's often overlooked with book!Baela is that she was raised from babyhood to be Jace's queen, and certainly Rhaenys would have been a part of that training. Although the historians treat her like Daemon (or Alyssa) come again, it's really only after Jace's death that she starts to rebel, and that's because she's being prevented from helping out with the war effort, this cause that she's been pledged to her entire life. Even after the war she's one of the last remaining Targaryens, but she's treated as more of a liability than an asset, and she's not given any renewed sense of purpose, nor is there even an adult who seems particularly interested in securing her future. Her actions read to me as that of a teenager who is frustrated at being shunted aside, and so she has this sort of wild child phase and who can blame her? She's a girl who has lost everything, who goes from being a future queen to the council deciding which decrepit old man they can pawn her off on. She wasn't even allowed to be a significant player in her brother's court until after his regency was over.

One thing I think that Aegon, Alicent, and Baela all have in common is that they don't do well when they're idle. They need something to keep them busy mentally, and so in OFCIR they all get this renewed sense of purpose. Anything to add @aifsaath?