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allygodot · 4 years

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Taking Accountability

My name is Adam, but people online call me Coffee. I’m a 27 years old graduate of Chicago Law School living in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I am a heterosexual Christian, but am an ally to the LGBT community. My main interests are Ace Attorney, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. These are all things my followers should know about me, so why am I telling you this? Well... what if I told you it was all a lie? I’m sure this is coming as a shock to a lot of you, and I sincerely apologize to everyone I’ve hurt with my deception. It is my hope that this post will clear up any misconceptions that have been spread about me, whether I spread them myself or otherwise, and that in the future there will be no animosity between us. I don’t expect to be forgiven nor do I deserve it, but if there is one thing I learned from my time in the church it is that all I can do is ask for mercy and hope for the best. But first... I think an explanation is in order. If all that isn’t the truth, then what is? It all starts in college, that nebulous period of my life that everyone keeps asking about and I keep bringing up. Before I went to university, I had always been completely unremarkable. I had always had the kind of fair weather friends who enjoyed my company, but never felt to invested in me. Combined with my status as a middle child, I always felt like I had something to prove to get people to like me. I would say and think whatever I needed to for them to stick around another day, and I’m sure you are familiar with what that means for teenage boys. I acted immaturely because it was what was expected... and anything outside of that was looked down upon it even forbidden. I never thought much of it at the time, but I realize now that I wasn’t allowed much self-expression when I was always trying to conform to their standards. Everything changed when I met him. My assigned college roommate, Anton, was everything my years of conditioning had taught me to distrust. Despite his tall stature, he was emotional and sensitive... even vulnerable. Even so, he wasn’t afraid to be unabashedly himself. The first thing that struck me as unusual about him was his clothing... he almost always wore pastel pink or yellow and I hardly ever saw him without his long, checkered scarf. His nails were always painted with a clear, glittery polish, and I don’t think he ever skipped a shower in his life. His hair was always soft and smelled like strawberry even at a distance... all this to say he immediately struck me as fruity so I wanted nothing to do with him, at least initially. Despite his kindness to me, I would always respond with either the cold shoulder or open scorn, which only amplified the more I learned about him. I discovered pretty quickly that he was a furry, since one day I came home from a day of classes to find a decapitated pink cat head on our couch. He patiently explained the whole culture to me while I glared at him skeptically, but he didn’t seem bothered at all. He even brought out his paws and tail and told me he was saving up for a full suit despite my open disgust. Looking back, I still have no clue why he put up with me during that time. Another curious aspect of Anton’s life was his addiction to a certain television series called “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.” His room was filled with merchandise from stuffed animals to figurines, and I had nothing but disdain for the tacky and embarrassing decoration. I was afraid that if I ever brought a girl over to our apartment she would notice and make all sorts of incorrect assumptions... I couldn’t handle the embarrassment. I tried on multiple occasions to convince him to hide them in a secret box or something, but he always just smiled and shook his head. I even tried to sneak into his room and collect all the ponies for donation once, but he had anticipated this and hid a playful trap for me... I reached forward to grab one of his overpriced statues and immediately got a face full of multi-colored snakes. I was livid of course, despite it being my own fault for trying to pawn of his collection in the first place, but he wasn’t even phased by my tirade. I suppose he was 6’5” and I was (and still am) only 5′7″... but still, I had at least expected him to be somewhat apologetic if not fearful. Instead, he just laughed and told me I should watch the show with him sometime. I obviously had no intentions of taking him up on his ludicrous offer... until he promised that if I didn’t enjoy the show, he would move all of his ponies into a case that he would throw a big curtain on whenever I said the word. I reluctantly agreed on those conditions, positive that this was a bet I couldn’t lose. I still remember that night like it was yesterday. He lead me into the pony chamber and sat down on his bed, taking out his laptop to pull up his favorite episode. It was “The Canterlot Wedding” two part season finale, and although I initially protested that I only agreed to watch one episode, I eventually relented once he reminded me what the prize was. I was hesitant to sit beside him on his bed and lean over his shoulder to look at the small screen, but he assured me that it didn’t bother him at all. I wasn’t particularly concerned with how he felt about it... it was more so my own pride I was worried about. Nevertheless, I sat through the whole episode with him despite myself. Although I was disturbed by the tendency for his long and curly hair to gravitate into my mouth while I rested my cheek against his shoulder, I found the episode to be surprisingly enjoyable. The song in particular surprised me with it’s musicality... by the end of it I didn’t want to leave, but I was far too embarrassed to admit that to him earnestly. I told him I was interested in the show purely for the songs and that it could benefit my studies as a music major, but that he still had to uphold his end of the bargain since I was by no means enjoying it. He just smiled and put on another episode, and before I knew it the sun was rising outside his window. I realized just how tired I was and turned to tell him I would be going to bed only to discover he had fallen asleep. I began to suspect that he must have been asleep for several hours, letting the auto-play functionality do his job for him while he rested up for his exams. Although I was scandalized, I was impressed by his tactical prowess... he had managed to trap me in his room, since I couldn’t move from my spot without disturbing his slumber, and he didn’t even have to be awake to do it. Begrudgingly, I spent the rest of his room, until eventually the faint aroma of strawberries lured me into the world of dreams... This arrangement continued for quite some time. When I got home from my classes, Anton would ask me if I wanted to watch some My Little Pony with him and I only agreed so long as he put the curtain over the cabinet next time I asked. He always obliged whenever I asked him to conceal his collection, but eventually I stopped asking for him to do so and only reminded him not to break our contract before every episode out of habit. It became a ritual for the two of us to do this every night, and even once we had finished all of the episodes we would just watch them again. I found that I was becoming endeared to this eccentric man... and as much as I tried to resist it, I couldn’t help but feel my heart swell a bit in my chest whenever he would run his fingers through his hair or tighten his scarf around his neck. I told myself it was nothing... but it wouldn’t remain that way for long. I don’t know what possessed me, but one night I thought I would get to know Anton a little better. I started by asking if he was single, which to me seemed like an innocuous question, but the very fact I was asking seemed to amuse him. He told me that he was having trouble finding a guy who wasn’t immediately turned off by all the ponies, and I made sure to snidely comment that he shouldn’t be going out with guys anyway even though it made my heart skip a beat when he said that, as well as mention that if he would just give up his collection there wouldn’t be an issue in the first place. I don’t know what I was expecting, but he asked me the same thing: how was my love life going, especially considering my new hobby? I couldn’t help but get flustered and start making excuses. I told him that there was no shortage of girls lined up to date me, but that I just wasn’t ready to make a commitment yet. I spun a whole story about how a girlfriend would only hold me back... I almost forgot that the standard that Anton accepted was completely different from my old teenage friends. He wasn’t impressed that girls were apparently lining up to get a piece of me... he just seemed amused that I thought such a thing was realistic, much less desirable. He didn’t understand that compulsive need to lie at all... he thought it would be better if more guys admitted that they were vulnerable. That was the first time I’d ever heard someone say something like that... I suddenly felt extremely exposed, and before I knew it my eyes were full of tears. My first instinct was to cover my face with my sleeve and hide my shame, but he was already firmly gripping my arm and holding it in place. He told me that I didn’t need to hide anything from him. He asked me if there was anything he could do to help me... and so for what felt like the first time in my life, I told the truth. It was supposed to be just to try it. I wasn’t expecting to actually enjoy it, I just thought that if I got it out of my system all of the unnecessary feelings would finally stop tormenting me... but all they did was grow stronger. I kept telling him that I was still looking for a girlfriend and that once I got one this whole arrangement would end, but eventually I realized that there was no point in lying to myself anymore. I wasn’t ever even sleeping in my own room anymore. I hadn’t so much as glanced at any dating websites in weeks. I was committed, whether I wanted to admit it or not... and I didn’t want to admit it. I only wish that I had told him how I really felt when I had the chance... One of the many things we started to share, which seemed the most inconsequential to me at the time, was a webpage. Anton was the owner of a small subreddit dedicated to My Little Pony fursuits, and he asked me if I would be willing to help him moderate. It wasn’t something I felt qualified to speak as an authority on, since even as I became more open about my love for ponies I still didn’t really feel connected to furry culture despite accompanying him to several conventions, but I was willing to do basically anything just to please him. My job was mostly to stop people from publicly “yiffing,” and although it was a grueling line of work it wasn’t thankless. Anton was a poet with words of affirmation. Many of the compliments he paid me were certainly undeserved, but they motivated me more than anything else ever had... but I got too zealous. There was a certain user on the server who for the sake of protecting privacy, we shall call XxLesbianRainbowDash69xX. As a member of the subreddit they were of course a brony and a furry, but what made them stand out was their dedication to the Flutterdash ship. They were constantly posting couple’s cosplays of themselves dressed as Rainbow Dash, but the Fluttershy in each picture was always different. They were also exceptionally sociable and aggressively tried to make friends with everyone on the tiny subreddit... Anton and I included. I wasn’t so keen on pursuing another friendship that could very well ruin my reputation, but of course Anton was immediately taken with the idea. The two of them exchanged contacts and hit it off instantly, and I started having trouble sleeping at night because he was awake in the early hours of the morning texting his friend in another timezone. He always paid me just as much attention as always during the daytime, but once he saw that his new friend was online he would crawl out of bed to go converse with them in another room. He was trying so hard to be considerate of me, and perhaps it was selfish for me to expect that I would always be able to sense his warmth and scent beside me while I slept... but at the time I was blinded by jealousy. One fateful morning, he excitedly woke me up to tell me that XxLesbianRainbowDash69xX had gifted him tickets to a major convention, and that the two of them were planning to cosplay Flutterdash together. He apologetically explained that he would be gone for a few days since the convention was halfway across the country, but sensing the disturbance within me he assured me that he could probably convince his friend to let me tag along as Applejack... she was always my least favorite. It didn’t matter what Anton said to encourage me, because I was never going to accept any consolation until this threat to our sacred relationship was eliminated. I had to find a way to get rid of XxLesbianRainbowDash69xX by any means necessary... In a fit of rage, I whipped out the ban hammer and beat my rival to death with it, metaphorically speaking. It was a blatant abuse of my privilege as a moderator and I am ashamed to admit it now... but at the time all that mattered was covering up the evidence. I knew I had to come up with an excuse for why I had banned them, so I added a new rule to the subreddit: Flutterdash was prohibited. The news was not met with acceptance from the other members of the community. To some more in the loop with the situation, it was obvious that I had only banned XxLesbianRainbowDash69xX because of a petty personal dispute, but others saw it as nothing but an unfair rule. I was accused of being biased towards other ships like Flutterchord or Appledash and that I needed to accept other people’s ship preferences, or even that I was homophobic and couldn’t handle the thought of lesbian characters in my favorite show. Chants of “mods are gay” could be heard across the subreddit from all sides of the debate, and everyone was rallying for Anton to remove me as a tyrannical moderator. Sound familiar? I can’t help but notice some similarities between my situation and Mo the one over at Kristahlia Week... maybe that is why the drama captivated me so. Anton tried to reason with me, bless his heart, but at this point I had completely devolved back into my screaming teenager mentality to cope with all the rejection. He was obviously disappointed in me for what I had done but he had no reason to believe it would ruin us... he couldn’t have handled it better. It really was my fault that things happened the way they did, but I refused to take accountability. What I told him still haunts my conscience to this day, even six years later. I told him that I never loved him, and that I was only using his companionship to fulfill my carnal desires. I told him that I didn’t care about what he did with his life as long as he didn’t do anything that kept him away from me. I even told him that I still thought he was disgusting and embarrassing. And the worst thing is... in that moment I meant every word. I was so selfish... I genuinely forgot that I loved him and treated him like he only existed to serve me. My actions were truly despicable and I deserved to suffer for it... and I did. For the first time, I saw Anton cry. I should have been there to comfort him like he did for me on that fateful night, but instead I let him run out of the house to go suffer by himself. By the time I realized how horrible I was acting, it was too late. He had disappeared into the night, never to be seen again. I came home the next day to discover all the ponies in the apartment finally gone... isn’t that what I had wanted? My moderator status on the subreddit had been stripped away, and I had been banned by all of the members of the group on nearly every social media platform. Another classmate later informed me that Anton had transferred to a different college... and that was the end. I have no idea what happened to him after that, but I can only hope he is doing well. Instead of taking this as an omen that I should improve my behavior, I began to become even more bitter than I was before I met Anton. I acted like my relationship with him was just an experimental phase that was doomed to fail from the start, and soon I was denying that it ever even happened at all. I convinced myself that the problem in our relationship was that I wasn’t supposed to be with men, and so I began to insist that I was straight and aggressively seek out relationships with women just to prove it to myself. I also started searching for strict moral codes that could give direction to my life... which is when I found the Church. I was attracted to their beliefs because they gave a very clear outline for how someone’s life should go and promised ultimate happiness to anyone who could fulfill the requirements, so I began to obsess over meeting those requirements. I wanted a Christian wife that could bear me many children not because that is how I wanted to live my life, but because that is how other people wanted me to live my life... and all I wanted was for others to tell me I was doing something right. The congregation was distrusting if me at first, and although they never said it to my face I know it was because they were aware of my past. Hardly a woman would come near me, and looking back on it I can’t say I blame them. The ones who were desperate enough for a husband to give me a shot were quirky repulsed by my egotistical behavior, which certainly didn’t help my reputation. Throughout all this, I still somehow told myself I was the victim because I didn’t want to admit that I had become the villain again. For a long time, the only person in the parish who would willingly hold a conversation with me was Lana. She was a fellow member of the choir and a devout believer in God, but she was often judged by the rest of the congregation for being an open lesbian despite her faith. She tried to convince me on several occasions that I didn’t have to perform any sort of identity to impress anyone and that I should “just be myself,” but I insisted that I knew what I was talking about. Eventually, she decided my well-being wasn’t her responsibility and gave up on trying to reason with me, but nonetheless she still treated me more kindly then many of the other churchgoers. I believe that my “dark past” is what drew Gabriella to me in the first place. She likely hoped that we could act as covers for each other until she figured some way out of her situation, but unfortunately I was too far gone to be of any help. I convinced myself that she was really in love with me and that she would be walking down the aisle soon enough. Whether or not I was really interested in her or just interested in what she represented I’m still not sure... but she truly was a wonderful person who didn’t deserve to have to suffer through my baggage. When she left me I was truly devastated... so much so that I even began to go through another crisis of belief that I recorded on this very blog. All I have to add is that I no longer bear any resentment towards Lana or Gabriella, and only wish them the best of luck. My relationship with Krissy began almost immediately after my breakup with Gabriella. I was desperate to regain the status I supposed that I had lost along with my girlfriend, so I latched onto the first woman who showed me any sort of positive attention. Her death and my downward spiral are all well-documented on this blog. I didn’t want to blame myself for her passing as well, so I developed a conspiracy to rationalize the whole ordeal. I even tried to act like a completely different person to try to keep the blame as mentally distant from myself as possible, but that didn’t work either. In the end, this is my cross to bear alone. So that brings us to now. What will become of allygodot? The truth is, I don’t know and quite frankly I don’t think that is the most important thing right now. I realized last night when I was looking at that art of Diego and Godot as Happy Tree Friends characters that I desperately wanted to be anyone other than myself... it really opened my eyes to the level of repression that had been burdening me since the incident six years ago. I realized that if I wanted to change, sitting around and thinking about how things could hypothetically be different isn’t going to do anything. If I want to make progress and truly become a better person, I’m going to have to act better, not just tell myself that I am. From now on, I will be defining myself on my actions and not my beliefs, as wise man once said. I hope that soon, I will have become a good enough person to meet Anton face to face again... I still love him after all these years, and even though I expect that he justifiably won’t want anything to do with me anymore, I still think that it is a guilt that needs to be resolved. If I ever come back to this blog, it’ll be as a different Adam to the one you thought that you knew. It’ll be as the Adam I’m trying to become... the true Adam that I know exists deep within me... Not allygodot, but as proudgodot. My name is Adam, but people online call me Coffee or Godot. I’m a 27 years old former music student living in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I am bisexual. My main interests are Ace Attorney, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

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two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat · 4 years

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CW: transphobia, homophobia. Also pretty long and I'm on mobile so I cant put a read more thing on it.

Ok so this is kind of a personal post so if you don't wanna hear about some of my personal drama, just scroll along. But I feel like I need to get this shit on record somewhere since I don't have the screenshots of the texts this is concerning anymore.

So a little over a year ago, I told the person who'd been my best friend, we'll call her E, since I was about 9 that I didnt want to be friends with her anymore. More on that later.

Back in senior year of high school I started thinking I might be Bi. I brought this up to E and she was super dismissive right off that bat. Saying that I wasnt, sounding like she was trying to console me. Like being Bi was this awful thing that I needed to worry about.

Well fast forward about a year and a half and I went up to my college with her so I could do new student orientation since I was starting the next semester. This is when the fact that I was Bi sort of smacked me in the face because the girl doing my orientation was super hot. I immediately knew I wouldnt be telling E that.

Fast forward to march of 2017. Its spring break. I've reconnected with my high school friends. I've never felt the need to hide my sexuality from them and they were instantly nothing but supportive of me. We never really hung out outside of school back in high school (or in elementary school either in Eric's case.) I start realizing that I've been having more fun with them then I ever did with E. And I finally had people to geek out about sciencey stuff with because E doesnt believe in science but eric LOVES science. It was nice.

Well a couple weeks after spring break me and Es mutual friend Althea asked me to drive her to the shelter so she could get her boyfriends cat fixed (it's way cheaper there then at the vet) and spent the day hanging out with her because she WAS planning to walk back there to pick up the cat afterwards and I was like "uh no. I'm not gonna make you walk across town by yourself." So I finally got to meet her boyfriend. Well that afternoon E came and picked me up to go up to the KU campus to get some more bus passes to go to our college in KC because our school was out of bus passes and didnt know when theyd get more.

Here's when I kinda started to realize I should maybe get out of this friendship. On the way to campus E starts telling me about her day at school and how "theres a girl that used to be a guy in one of my teachers other classes. It's making me uncomfortable."

Me: "that sounds like a you problem, E."

Now I knew she kind of thought that way already. She may not have said shit like that around our other friends but I had to hear it a lot. But because I'm pretty nonconfrontational and she was my only close friend outside of school and I was terrified of being alone, I usually just ignored it or politely debated her about it but generally just agreed to disagree. This was the first time I ever decided to speak up to her about it. Unfortunately I couldnt say much cuz her mom was the one driving us and i knew she agreed with everything E said.

But I'd been hanging out with althea and her boyfriend (who just so happened to be trans) all morning so suddenly having to hear E talk about how uncomfortable trans people make her got me more fired up than usual.

After this I slowly started distancing myself from her. I'd been hoping for a few years that she'd grow up and accept that not everyone is like her and try to be more open minded and accepting of people. Apparently that wasnt happening.

I stopped responding to her texts as often. I was trying to think of a way to talk to her about it but all my past friendships that fell apart, did so naturally and on a silent mutual agreement. So I was half hoping that would happen. Pretty stupid. Dont recommend. Just be straight with people.

After a few months of me only answering her texts every once in a while, she decided to start calling me multiple times a week. Often while I was at work. Sometimes from her mom and sisters phones when I wouldnt answer from her number. Idk y she thought that would work. She knows I hate talking on the phone.

I still didnt know what to say to her. I probably should've just told her I needed some space and she might've backed off for awhile so I could figure it out. But subway stressed me tf out. And i have no idea how you're supposed to end a relationship with your best friend of over 10 years.

(Also some of my other reasons for not wanting to be friends with her were specifically because of althea and I didnt want althea to get dragged into it. Unfortunately it ended up happening anyways. But basically back in highschool, if we were planning for all four of us (me, e, althea, and nikki) to get together, and nikki would have something come up, E would tell althea our get together was cancelled but would still have me come over and then made me promise not to say anything to althea about it.)

Around march or april of last year I blocked her family's numbers. This is when they started showing up at my work. The first time it happened I had a long ass line and was helping my coworker get through it before I left. Her sister came in by herself and just asked how I was doing but left pretty quick after she got her sandwich since it was busy. A couple more times they came and just parked outside like they were waiting for me to get off my shift but ended up leaving. The last time it happened E came in while I was there alone and I really didnt wanna have THAT conversation while i was at work alone and her crazy overprotective mom was out in the car waiting for her. So i made her sandwich very quickly so i could get her out as fast as I could.

I was planning on finally talking to her around the end of april but was still having trouble figuring out what to say.

Unfortunately any plan I had to let her down easy was sort of thrown out the window on may 13th of last year.

My mom texted me that morning about how she got a weird call from Es aunt. On her work phone. This is basically how that call went:

"IS THIS OLIVIAS MOM?????"

My mom, suddenly worried it's my work and something happened to me, "Yes?"

"Why isnt olivia talking to E anymore?"

"............I dont know."

So that kind of crossed a line for me. It really freaked my mom out.

I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when I'm mad or stressed out tho. So my friend Alice ended up writing out the text for me and I read through it to make sure it was ok.

Basically it said "I'm sorry but I dont think we can be friends anymore. The way you talk about the LGBT+ community makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially seeing as I am bisexual and have several friends in the community. The way you used to exclude althea from hanging out with us because you think shes annoying and then expect me to lie to her about it makes me uncomfortable. It was inappropriate to show up at my work unannounced to corner me into talking to you when I needed space. And it was even more inappropriate for your relatives to call my mom at work. I'm sorry I didnt say something sooner but I'm tired of pretending I'm ok with everything you've said over the years."

Then her mom texts me. I dont remember all of it but the gist was "you're a horrible person. E never judged you or anyone else (sure, miss "gay people are gross. I can see how conversion therapy might work." Totally isnt judging anyone and 100% cares about the lgbt+ community.) The only reason she did those things is because she was worried about you."

Then E left me a voicemail that I couldnt understand at all cuz she was crying and I felt terrible even tho everyone was telling me I shouldn't. Now I probably should've taken out the part about althea because it effectively threw my "not wanting to get althea involved" plan out the window. Honestly what really pissed me off about this next part both made me pissed at E but also at myself. E removed herself from the group chat I had with her, nikki, and althea. Blocked althea on Facebook and blocked her number. Didnt bother to explain why. I still feel terrible about this even tho althea has told me many times that it's fine and if she'd had to pick a side she wouldve picked mine. But I still felt like she at least deserved an explanation.

Alice told me to screenshot the texts. I almost didn't cuz I just wanted to forget about all this. But I did.

Anyways life moved on. Eric got a new phone and gave me his beat up galaxy s7. I stuck my s6 into a drawer and let it die and forgot about it.

Then on new years I got a call from althea. Not weird at all. She calls me every major holiday and birthday. Shes done this every year since junior year of high school.

Normal phone call at first. But then she says that her mom has been talking to E's mom. Apparently E's mom told altheas mom that I told E that althea hates her and thinks shes a terrible person and that's why E hasnt been talking to althea. Althea of course didnt believe that but wanted me know about it. This prompted me to try and charge up my old phone and get the screenshots off of it. I had it plugged in for a couple of days and it never turned back on. So that's out apparently.

That's also why I felt the need to get all of this written down. It may not be as great as having the actual screenshots but I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when confronted so I want to have something written down in case any of this comes up again.

#cw: transphobia #cw: homophobia #i needed to get this out while i could actually put it into words #this is the first time in a while that i actually can #personal #homophobia #transphobia #i never post stuff like this so hopefully im tagging it right

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chungledown-bimothy · 6 years

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Trust Me: Chapter 5

Hello again! I know it’s been a while- things got crazy with the holidays and my birthday, but things are calm now. Here we go!

Chapter One Chapter 4 AO3 Chapter 6

Warnings: mentions of violence, descriptions of torture

Word Count: 1865

Tag List: @ren-allen @ccecode @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn @ilovemygaydad @bloodropsblog @funsizedgremlin @raygelkitty @roxiefox23 @thomasthesandersengine @spookyingarbageisland @band-be-boss-blog

Virgil made his way to Dr Vincent Nigel-Murray's lab with a bad feeling in his gut. He hadn't been able to meet with the pathologist about the first victim, as the doctor had left town suddenly shortly after Virgil arrived. But he was back, and it was time Virgil met the man he'd heard so much about.

"Doctor Nigel-Murray?" He knocked on the doorframe, peering into the lab. "Are you here?"

"Ah! Yes! You must be Detective Mason, yeah?" Virgil wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but a 6-foot-tall Brit with dark hair and startling blue eyes who was practically bouncing with excitement was not it.

"Yep, that's me. Nice to meet you, doctor."

"Please, call me Vincent. Or Nigel. I also go by Vin, Vinnie, Vincenzo, any of those. My ex used to call me Vino Delectable."

"I'll stick with Vincent. And you can call me Virgil."

"A lovely name! Did you know that the famed Roman poet Virgil was homosexual and included erotic homosexual themes in two of his famed Eclogues?"

"I, um, didn't know that. Why would you bring that up? Have people been talking about me, gossiping about the gay new guy? I thought San Francisco was going to be better than this." Virgil narrowed his eyes, preparing for the worst.

"You're gay? I did not know that. What a coincidence! Fun fact- in 2017, it was estimated that 8.2% of Millennials identify as LGBT+."

"You didn't know? Then what's with all the facts?"

"Facts are the stitches that hold the fabric of the universe together. I apologize if I'm being annoying; I've been told it's a rather bad habit." Vincent looked down and put his hands in his pockets; Virgil relaxed, suddenly understanding.

"It's an anxiety thing, right? Things get overwhelming sometimes, but facts are grounding."

"That is exactly right! If I may ask, how could you tell so quickly? Almost everyone gets there eventually, but it's only been a matter of minutes."

"I was one of the FBI's best profilers. Also, I do the same thing with sarcasm and hostility."

"It truly is a pleasure to meet you, Virgil. Now, follow me, I have two bodies with stories I think you'll want to hear."

Virgil followed the doctor into his lab. He was no stranger to morgues and autopsied bodies, but he could never get over the weird feeling in his gut when they were rolled out of the cooler. As always, he ignored the feeling and followed Dr Nigel-Murray to the first body.

"This is Orin Scrivello, the first victim. You can see the ligature marks on his wrists and ankles, and the scabbing indicates that he was tied up for quite some time and struggled a lot. This is just conjecture, but I'd wager it happened while the killer was inflicting these wounds." He pointed to the deep cuts on his legs and chest.

"Those look really deep. Cause of death?"

"You'd think, but no. The killer stayed clear of any major veins and arteries."

"So what's cause of death?"

"Blood loss."

"You literally just said-"

"He didn't bleed out through any of these wounds; he's got a single slice right along his brachial artery."

"Do we know what was used to cut him up?"

"Standard kitchen knife. Dime a dozen, available anywhere knives are sold."

"Great. Anything else interesting?"

"A couple of things. First, there were signs of dehydration, but not malnutrition."

"Any idea on how long they had him?"

"About two weeks, probably."

"The killer kept him fed while they tortured him for two weeks? Why would someone do that?" Virgil muttered. "The second interesting thing?"

"Particulates indicate that he was held in a warehouse. Nothing more specific than that, unfortunately; the killer did a really good job of covering their tracks."

"Just not good enough. Okay, let's talk about the second vic?"

"Indeed. Kyle Ren. Just finished his autopsy, in fact."

"Cool. Okay, let's start with what's the same between the two."

"Same ligature marks, although it appears that the killer kept him longer; I'd say closer to three weeks. He was also dehydrated but not malnourished. He was also tortured, but very differently."

"How different?"

"Orin had a relatively few, deep cuts. Kyle's arms are covered with dozens of shallow cuts. Obviously, he was hit in the fact repeatedly, and the killer removed some of the flesh on his chest. Two rectangles, one on each pectoral."

"That's so weird. There was no flesh removal on Orin?"

"Nope."

"What was going on in this guy's head? Anyway, what are these on his thighs?"

"Electrical burns."

"So the killer cut, beat, and electrocuted him, sliced part of his chest off, and finally strangled him while also keeping him fed?"

"That's consistent with what I've found, yes."

"This guy is smart, angry, and escalating. Damn it. Okay, thanks, Vincent."

"My pleasure, Virgil. Hopefully we'll see each other again under better circumstances?"

"Maybe. By the way, and you really don't have to answer, but how did you decide you wanted to be a coroner?"

"Oh, it's quite the story. I was studying to be a forensic anthropologist in DC, and I got shot by a serial killer we were closing in on. I survived, obviously, and when I recovered… I don't know. Flesh and blood was a lot more interesting. So I finished my anthropology doctorate and went back for pathology."

"That's nuts. I'm glad you made it, and even more glad you're out here. You're a cool guy, Vincent. I gotta go talk to Kyle's next of kin. It was great meeting you."

"You too!"

--------

"Mason!" Virgil flinched when his captain's voice echoed through the bullpen. He took a deep breath before answering the summons.

"Yes, sir?" He asked once he reached Captain Sanders' office.

"Come in, it's time we talk about the case."

"Yes, sir." Virgil took a seat in one of the chairs across from Sanders' desk before continuing. "I met with the second victim's parents today- they confirmed the killer's assertion that he was a fascist. The pieces of flesh removed had swastika and Confederate flag tattoos. Apparently his grandfather was a high-ranking officer in the German military in World War 2. The victim was very vocal about his beliefs online; we have a tech team looking into his online interactions for potential suspects."

"Good. Now, tell me about the killer."

"He's wicked smart and almost certainly has a medical background. He's what we call mission-oriented, and his mission is vengeance. He's detail-oriented and covers his tracks well, but I don't think he has a criminal background before these kills."

"Killers usually do. Why not him?"

"How he treats the bodies after killing them. The things he did to his victims before killing them were violent and messy, but he cleaned them up and covered them carefully with leaves like a blanket. Yes, the cleaning served the purpose of eliminating most of the particulate evidence, but the clean clothes in the right size shows an extra step of care. He also kept the victims well-fed. He wanted them healthy, aside from the torture. It may seem illogical, but he has very high empathy. He punishes his victims because he genuinely cares about people.

Once he's punished them as he sees fit, they're human again, and deserving of respect and care. The violence is tied to the victim's crimes or sins, however he chooses to label them. Our killer isn't violent or malicious outside of the conditions that triggered the killings; he's probably perceived in his community as perfectly normal. Not creepy like Dahmer or manipulative like Bundy. Just an average person. He's probably lived in the area a long time, if not his entire life, and has a stable, long-term job."

"Sounds like he's going to be hard to catch. What's with the puzzle pieces, though?"

"He will make a mistake sooner, rather than later. The puzzle pieces are a taunt, daring us to solve the puzzle of who he is. He wants our attention, he wants to prove that he's smarter than we are. And that's what's going to hang him. He sees himself as an avenging angel, but he's just an Icarus."

"How does that help us catch him?"

"Honestly, sir, I'm still working on that part. I want to consult some papers from an old colleague before I add any more details to my official preliminary profile. I have a few ideas, but he was always better with mission-oriented killers than I am. I know it isn't the answer you want, but I learned the hard way how dangerous jumping to conclusions can be when dealing with someone like this."

"Mason…" Sanders started, softly.

"With all due respect, captain, don't start with that. I'm fine. I just want to make sure we do this by the book. Like you said on my first day- 'we can't let this become another Zodiac fiasco'."

"I can't say I like you using my exact words against me, but your work has been above reproach. I'm officially declaring this case yours and yours alone- I won't pressure you to partner up anymore. Just keep me in the loop okay?"

"Of course. Thank you, sir."

"You've earned it. Now shoo, you've got more important things to do than sit here with me."

"Okay." Virgil chuckled as he stood up and left.

---

"Patton don't do this. It's not a good idea. You don't know who this guy is, how much of a threat he might pose to us and our work."

"You do realize you sound just like them, right, Logan? Thinking you know best, trying to tell me what I can and can't do because of how it might affect you instead of thinking about what I want and need."

"That's not fair. You know that I love you, and they never loved either of us. I want you to stay safe; I can't protect you if I don't know who you're associating with."

"How many times do I have to tell you that you don't need to protect me any more? I know you mean well, but you have to trust me. You said yourself that I'm better with people than you are." Patton paused. "This isn't about protecting me at all, is it? It's about how you know that without me, you're alone. You have nothing without me, and you can't handle that."

"I… you're right. I need you, Patton." Logan admitted, falling to his knees.

Patton reached down and cupped Logan's face with their hands, tilting his face up. "Logan, you are and always will be the most important thing in my life. But I can't shake the feeling that getting to know him could change everything in the best way."

"That's exactly what I'm worried about, but I'll trust your instincts. I love you, Pat."

"I love you too, Logan. Thank you." Patton walked to their room, leaving Logan on his knees in the living room, alone with his thoughts.

Patton's right; this date changes everything. If we are deviating from the pattern in favor of indulging other desires, well, I would be a fool to let this opportunity pass.

#sanders sides #logicality #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fan fiction #my writing #human au #serial killer au #trust me

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knightofbalance-13 · 6 years

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http://nerdgasrnz.tumblr.com/post/168146804389/you-bigoted-geek-ass-homophobic-transphobic

Old post I know but-

Point still needs to be made.

You bigoted geek-ass homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist MOTHERFUCKERS still don’t understand what the problem is, do you?

Looks like you’re finally getting some self awareness.

Oh wait, you’re not talking about yourself? Huh.

This is not the “rwde community” looking to tear RWBY to shreds ever since Monty died or whatever bullshit excuses you keep coming up with everytime ppl critique this cartoon

My past two years say the exact opposite and what should I trust: my instincts or a liar?

This is the fact that REAL LGBT people watch this show; real NON-WHITE people watch this show; real WOMEN watch this show, and WOMEN are the literal lead characters of this show. But those parts of the audience wind up disappointed with the lack of care, consideration, or prioritization in this weak-ass writing, where only the art and animation salvage it.

Heh...

Then why are some of the most prominent fans of the community LGBT, Non-white and/or women? I mean, surely if this was handled so poorly they wouldn’t be so prominent. Unless of course, the issue isn’t with the show but a certain group of people with a similar thought process (that being “If it doesn’t pander to me, it’s bigotry!.’)

Diversity isn’t a fucking myth like you think just because you have less social aptitude than a fucking rock, or because you refuse to interact with anyone that isn’t the same as you.

Says the woman who rejects other LGBT/non white people for not thinking exactly like her.

Monty was GENTLY asked in a post-show interview if there’d be LGBT+ rep in RWBY, and he confirmed yes. That was 2014.

And he also fucked over his own show numerous times. He wasn’t exactly a good writer so him saying that would have probably resulted in a ham fisted, out of place moment of gay angst that would never be mentioned ever again.

What Miles Luna, Kerry Shawcross, and Gray Haddock have done, instead of giving us a named PROTAGONIST character to be the first instance of that rep, they made the first openly gay character a VILLAIN. (no, Matte Sky does not count bc the VOICE ACTOR named them, not the creators)

You mean the single sympathetic villain who would later get a redemption arc among the other straight villians who are portrayed as irredeemable and monstrous *cough* ADAM *cough*.

Oh no, how terrible. You get a complex and well written character instead of the edgelord.

Nothing is groundbreaking about that trash. LGBT+ historians and fandoms have noted that in the media, villains were portrayed as gay, trans, or implied as such for YEARS. (it’s called “queercoding”)

And that’s called ‘bullshit’ because coding is only ever brought up in subjective ways.

Not only that: You were never promised something GROUND BREAKING. Show me where it was said that.

Monty was GENTLY asked by fans at a convention when more brown characters would be in RWBY. He confirmed that Sun and Velvet have “cool” dark-skinned teammates. That was 2013. (after an animation panel at Supanova)

So no, this isn’t just “rabid tumblrinas” hounding the creators for the sake of being special snowflakes like you fucking think. These are real fucking people who love the soul of this show but don’t actually SEE THEMSELVES IN IT. And Monty, rest his soul, was so excited and earnest in wanting to be inclusive so this show could be shared and loved by more people.

Yeah and Miles and Kerry get death threats over this. That was proven in 2018. I could not care less.

And here’s the deal: If you cannot relate to a character because they do not share the same skin color as you, you do not DESERVE a character to relate to. Because creators are suppose to make compelling characters and skin color is NOT COMPELLING. Expecting me to find a character compelling because they are white is honestly INSULTING to me.

But the fact is that it’s not as inclusive as it could be. Even when he was alive, he made missteps too. And it’s not even like it’d be a big deal to fix. But hateful people go out of their way EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. to make it seem like it’d be such a lorebreaking addition to make a character brown, gay, or trans.

The fact that ‘it’s not as inclusive as it could have be’ is a flaw shows you do not actually care about the show. Because you care SO LITTLE about the show actually being good you try to prioritize something COMPLETELY DIVORCED from quality above all else.

And no one wanted them to just do it because it was not the right fucking time or place. Imagine a character in Berserk went off on a tangent about how gay they are. That’d be pretty cringy right? Now think of that same thing in MHA. Not even bad now is it? Because one is not built to support this and the other CAN support it.

Honestly, the way they handled Illa, from a purely writing standpoint, is the best way they could have gone about it. It’s used to emphasize her pain with Blake and quickly takes a backburner for Illa’s more personal and universal issues. They showed it was athing before moving onto more pressing matters.

It makes absolutely ZERO SENSE how a FANTASY REALM can be lacking so much variety in terms of its inhabitants. And Diversity is an AFTERTHOUGHT. Or a “lorebreaker” (remember the homophobic “how would you show gay characters? just have them make out during the chaos? That’d make no sense!” argument? Fun times!!!)

Damn near every single piece of fanart about Illa emphasizes her being gay, apparently that was an informed guess on their part. And honestly ticks me off since Illa is so much more than that.

How many times do we have to sift through the garbage comments on fanart (FAN ART!!!) of Blake being portrayed as black, as if that’s some huge leap from what she could have represented in the first place?

Representation doesn't matter here, it's the fact that these designs usually look like shit because the people making don’t care about good character design and use dark skin on a design that is built around light skin. It’s like if someone made a light skinned Emerald-it would look fucking awful.

How many times do ppl turn a blind eye to femslash fanart of team RWBY but suddenly complain when someone mentions the notion of one of the characters in team RWBY actually being canonically gay? Or bi? Or pan? Anything outside or in-between?

Never. I have literally never seen that happened. I’ve seen people be called homophobic for shipping straight ships before I say this.

Hateful people are like “u should be thankful” when they’re having a buffet of representation and we only get, not just breadcrumbs, but moldy ones that the ants are crawling on. Then, when we make our own stuff to satisfy us (again: FAN ART! FANFIC! HEADCANONS!!!) they’re suddenly so defensive and wanna police our shit???

A. Nobody has ever just eaten certain foods because of their color,

B. You actively REFUSE to accept any character that isn’t EXACTLY like you and proceed to try to hurt REAL PEOPLE over this. Mold crumbs with ants on them is more than you deserve, honestly STRAVATION is more than you deserve.

C. Making fanart and fanfics that are fundamentally WORSE than canon and calling it ‘fixed’ or ‘improved’ like these people always do is insulting. You are actively pissing people off.

Oh and D. I have seen people ATTACK OTHERS over them not following their headcanons.

RWBY’s first dark-skinned character was a villain. That’s not representation, that reinforces racist beliefs that black people are thugs and thieves that can’t be trusted and need to be put down.

Yes, a dark skinned character with understandable motives, symapethic beliefs and conflcits about her actions.

Meanwhile, the white guy Adam is portrayed as an edgelord monster who seeks genocide and talks like a Nazi.

RWBY’s first openly GAY character is a villain. That’s NOT representation. That reinforces homophobic beliefs that lesbians are predatory temptresses that seduce your daughters and sisters to lead them down a path of hellfire and brimstone.

Yes, the sympathetic lesbian who has shown more love and care and respect for Blake than her straight abusive boyfriend.

Adam pretty much exists to DISPROVE your shit on this front. All the bullshit you complain about in Illa ACTUALLY EXISTS in Adam except WORSE.

RWBY has been making transphobic jokes since volume 1 (Penny’s “*gasp* Is she a man?” reference to Blake) Those jokes reinforce the transphobic belief that trans people wear disguises to bait unassuming people so that they can harm them eventually.

A. Name me a single trans person who said that, let alone enough people for me to even consider that.

And B. Adam is cisgendered and a genocidial Nazi. Good luck beating that.

It’s not rocket science. Rooster Teeth’s animated show, “RWBY” has a problem not just with it’s writing, but with diversity. Pure and simple. And this show has had since 2014 to improve. But you’re still surprised that some of us are fucking mad.

And yet every single example you gave not only doesn’t work but would set a standard for STRAIGHT WHITE PEOPLE to complain about their representation.

You and everyone in RWDE are mad because you WANT to be mad. It justifies the immoral bullshit you pull on a daily basis...

Huh, exactly like Adam.

Guess you guys ARE represented after all. And quite accurately.

#nerdgasrnz

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chasholidays · 7 years

Note

Bellamy/Clarke Bellamy is a florist, Clarke is a cop

If someone had asked Clarke to come up with a profile of Bellamy Blake, florist, she would have put them in their late fifties or early sixties, an older woman who wasn’t quite a grandmother but hoped to be soon, someone whose hair had gone white early, but in a fashionable way. She would have assumed Bellamy Blake made lovely floral arrangements and had candy on the counter for children who came into her store with their parents.

Of those assumptions, only one would be true: Bellamy Blake makes lovely floral arrangements. But he’s also in his mid twenties, with curly black hair and freckles, and she’s pretty sure that if he wasn’t pissed at her for arresting his sister, they’d get along.

Not that she knows about the floral arrangements the first time she meets him. The first time she meets him, she mostly just knows he’s fucking pissed.

“What the fuck?” he demands, and Clarke actually assumes that he’s talking to Octavia. “Why are you holding her?”

“She peed on a police car,” says Clarke. “Also she’s seventeen and intoxicated.”

“And you’re going to charge her for that? It’s dumb high-school shit.”

Privately, Clarke agrees, and she has no intention of charging her. But she thinks taking her in and making her hang out at the station is a pretty good solution, all things considered. She was hoping calling Octavia’s older brother, who’s apparently her legal guardian, would also put the fear of god in her, but Bellamy Blake seems much more interested in attacking Clarke.

“It’s illegal dumb high-school shit. Can we talk in private?”

His jaw works, but then he nods. Clarke doesn’t have an office, but there’s an empty interrogation room by her desk, so she takes him in there.

“I’m letting her off with a warning, but I would suggest you make it clear to her how serious this is. Public urination can land you on the sex offenders registry if you do it close enough to a school. We all do dumb shit in high school, but it’s better if it stays in high school.”

He considers her, arms crossed, irritation still radiating off of him. “Is there a bad cop who’s showing up, or will you just switch at some point?”

“No trick. Just a warning. It would help if you acted like this was a big deal.”

“I don’t need lessons from you on how to take care of my sister,” he says.

“Fine, then don’t take them,” she snaps. “I’m issuing the warning and you can take her home or back to the party or wherever. I don’t give a shit.”

“Pleasure doing business with you, officer,” he says, and once the paperwork is done, they’re gone.

The encounter sticks with Clarke in the way some encounters do. It’s nothing terribly special, really; she deals with plenty of drunk kids and annoyed guardians. But the file had stuck out because Bellamy was young to be taking care of a teenager, and she couldn’t help but be annoyed by his lax standards. None of it is a big deal, but it’s just enough to be memorable.

It’s enough that when she needs a flower arrangement for a coworker who was injured in the line of duty and he’s at the counter at the flower shop she goes to, she recognizes him, but she doesn’t place him until he says, “Officer,” in the same curt, disdainful tone he used a little over a year ago.

She came in after work, and she’s still wearing her uniform. She’s not exactly being subtle.

“Is there a problem?” he asks, and she thinks he knows her too, but she’s not actually sure. He could just dislike cops. He wouldn’t be the first one.

“No. A coworker is in the hospital, I wanted to get some flowers for him.”

“Of course.” His voice is still cool, but he straightens a little. “Did you have anything particular in mind?”

“Just a standard get-well-soon arrangement? On the smaller and cheaper side.” She considers, but his expression and manner still bother her, so she adds, “He’s kind of insecure about his masculinity, so if you can lean into that I’d appreciate it.”

He frowns, looking at least confused instead of actively aggressive. “Lean into what, exactly?”

“I don’t know, like a teddy bear, maybe? Something to make him feel kind of uncomfortable because it’s not manly enough, but he can’t get rid of it because it’s a nice gesture.”

He finally cracks a smile. “Yeah, that’s a more common request than you’d think. I can handle that. Thirty bucks okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Great. I’ll have that done in a minute.”

Clarke watches him work, feeling more relaxed as nothing bad happens. He probably did forget her and just doesn’t like cops. It’s not a position she’ll ever fault anyone for, and with his dark complexion, she’s guessing he gets more “random” harassment than someone like her would.

But she’s glad that he smiles when he rings her up. The arrangement is perfect; she’d like to come back.

She comes up with an excuse just over months later, because mother’s day is coming up and she never gets her mother anything, so now is clearly the time to start. She goes in out of uniform and Bellamy shows no sign of recognizing her at all. He has some pre-made arrangements for the holiday that can be customized, and he and Clarke talk through what she’d like. She pays extra for a delivery service, and it’s all very professional and civil.

She wears her uniform next time, just to see if he remembers her, and he seems to, but not as anything other than a cop he doesn’t hate. Which is what she wants, mostly. He seems like a cool guy, from what she’s seen, and she’d like him to think she’s honest and fair.

That’s definitely why she keeps going.

She’s been going in every few months for about two years when she stops by at the beginning of June and sees he’s put up big display of rainbow flowers outside, arranged around a cursive sign reading simply, Be proud. It’s cool, but she can’t help being a little, well–curious. If he’s expressing pride as a general concept or because he’s part of the LGBT community, and if he is, what part.

Even if she hadn’t already been planning to go in, she definitely would be now.

As usual, he’s at the register, but for the first time ever, his sister is with him, chatting at him from across the counter. They both look up at the sound of the bell, and Octavia narrows her eyes at Clarke.

“Why do I know you?”

“Because she arrested you for peeing on her car in high school,” says Bellamy.

Clarke doesn’t flush, but—she really didn’t think he remembered. It’s been more than three years since the arrest happened, and he never seemed surly at her. He certainly never mentioned it, not even that first time.

Octavia snaps her fingers. “Right, that was it.”

“I hope you don’t get arrested so often you can’t keep the cops straight,” Clarke offers, and to her relief, both of them smile. They have the same way of curling one side of their mouth in reluctant amusement, and it’s cute, seeing the family resemblance.

“I was pretty wasted.“

“Maybe don’t brag about your underage drinking to, again, the cop who actually arrested you for it.”

“She already let me off with a warning. It’s not like she’s going to retroactively charge me. She knew I was drunk the first time.”

Bellamy rubs the bridge of his nose. “You must have something else to do. Literally anything.”

“You don’t need help?”

“She wants flowers for her mom’s birthday, I think I can handle it. Go check on the greenhouse.”

“Yeah, yeah. Nice to see you again, officer. Thanks for letting me off with a warning, sorry I peed on your car.”

“In your defense, you were wasted.”

She grins. “I’m saying.”

Once they’re alone, Clarke doesn’t think she’s the only one who feels awkward. Bellamy rubs the back of his neck, discomfort written all over his posture, and it makes something warm curl in her stomach. At least she’s not the only one.

“I didn’t think you recognized me.”

“It took me a second, but your name’s on the credit card, and I had my note with your name and badge number, so I could check. I, uh–I am sorry,” he adds. “I got taken down to the police station for some bullshit stuff when I was in high school, but O deserved it.”

She leans on the counter. “Like what?”

“I was looking into my friend’s window to see if he was home and a policeman passing by put me in cuffs and took me to the station.”

“Did you get charged?”

“They were on high alert because my friend’s dad was the police chief. The officer thought he was going to get a commendation for finding some dumb kid trying to break into the chief’s house, and Captain Miller was just like, hi Bellamy.”

“So at least it was satisfying.”

“Once I stopped being terrified, yeah. I knew if I made it to the station I’d be fine, but I was always worried I wouldn’t.”

“I get it when people don’t like cops. But I was kind of hoping you were going to yell at your sister instead of me.”

“If it helps, I yelled at her when we got home.”

“It does.” She smiles. “So, the pride bouquet.”

His expression gives nothing away. “What about it?”

“It’s awesome. I was hoping I could get a custom one for my desk. It could hang out with my rainbow flag and alienate my asshole coworkers.”

He seems to be thinking over his phrasing, finally settles on, “What pride are you showing?”

“Bisexual.”

“Cool, that’s mine too,” he says, casual, and Clarke feels a strange surge of hope. She’s always a little wary about dating straight guys, but–bisexual could work. If he can get over the cop thing. And he’s interested.

Fuck, she hasn’t actually been nursing a crush for three years, has she? That would be so fucking stupid. But–he’s cute. And, perversely, guys who don’t like cops are kind of her type. Familiarity breeds contempt.

“So, you want blue, purple, and pink? I haven’t done that before, but I think I can come up with something cool.”

“Yeah, that would be great. And something for my mom for her birthday? She expects flowers now, apparently.”

“That’s a new development?” he asks, with a kind of casual curiosity that makes her flush. “Flowers seem like your go-to present.”

“I’ve never been great with gifts, so when I find something she likes, I just kind of go with it.”

“So now you’re on flowers?”

“They’re good conversation pieces. She’s a doctor, so she puts them in her office and her patients ask about them, and then she gets to talk about her police-officer daughter who sends flowers.”

“Glad I’m helping. So, one mom bouquet and one bi bouquet?”

“Yup.” She worries her lip, but it feels safe to add, “Thanks, Bellamy.”

His smile is soft. “Sure. Let me know how many fights you get in.”

“Yeah, I’ll keep you posted.”

She keeps the bouquet until it wilts, and goes to get another one when it does. It’s pretty and a good litmus test for coworkers, so she just keeps on getting them for a few months, until she gets shot in early September, the day before she’s planning to go to Bellamy’s.

It sounds a lot worse than it is, jut a grazing hit to her shoulder. It’s not fun, by any stretch of the imagination, but as bullet wounds go, it’s basically the best-case scenario.

Her mother still wants her to stay in the hospital for a few days.

“We need to make sure there weren’t any complications. Bullet wounds can–”

“I’m going to listen to my actual doctor,” Clarke says, making her voice gentle. “The one who has access to all my charts.”

Abby smiles a little too. “I suppose I can’t argue with that.”

“I’m off work no matter what. I’ll take it easy.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

There’s a knock on the door and they both startle, and Clarke startles again when it’s Bellamy, holding a bouquet of yellow and blue flowers, with a sheepish smile on his face.

“Sorry,” he says. “They told me visitors were fine, I didn’t think the doctor would–”

“This is my mother,” she says. “Mom, this is–my friend Bellamy.” It feels more accurate and less awkward than my florist. “Hi, Bellamy.”

“Hi. I can come back,” he adds, and she rolls her eyes.

“Mom probably has actual patients to see.”

“I do,” says Abby. “Let me know if you need anything. Nice to meet you, Bellamy.”

“You too.” He still lingers by the door, looking unsure, until Abby has to go by him, and only then does he finally come over to the cot. “Jesus. You really did get shot.”

She laughs a little. “Sorry, did you think it was a hoax? How did you even know?”

“I follow the police department on Twitter, they talk about incidents. I googled it to make sure it wasn’t you, and then it was.” His eyes dart over her, like he’s trying to remind himself she’s there. “Are you–okay? Relative to getting shot.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. They had to operate to get a fragment out, but they’re not worried. I’m staying for observation, should be out tomorrow or the next day.”

“Good.”

“Can I see the flowers?”

He frowns. “What?”

“You brought flowers. Which ones?”

“Oh, uh–you like yellow and blue,” he says. “Or maybe your mom does, but–when you’re not getting pride bouquets, you usually like yellow and blue, smaller blooms, lots of leaves. So I thought–”

“It’s perfect. Thanks.”

He ducks his head, pleased. “Cool, I’m glad.” And then, like a idiot, he stands up. “So, uh, feel better. Get–”

She grabs his wrist with her good hand. “Bellamy.”

“Yeah?”

“You came all the way down here. You don’t have to leave. Company would be nice. If you don’t have anywhere else to be.”

He sits again. “I told Octavia not to burn down the store, so I’ve got an hour or two before she gets bored and turns to arson.” He pauses. “I should probably stop making jokes about her committing crimes, huh?”

“I promise I will never arrest your sister unless she’s actively committing a crime in front of me. Again.”

“That seems fair.” He hesitates, and then takes her hand, smiles when she squeezes his fingers. “I’m hoping you’re going to see more of her. And me. I’m probably going to ask you out when you’re not, uh. In a hospital.”

“You can ask me out now,” she says. “We just can’t go anywhere until I’m discharged. And maybe a week after that.”

“Cool. So, you want to go on a date with me maybe a week after you’re discharged?”

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

He brings flowers for their first date too, and the second, and the third, and somehow they’re her favorites, every single time.

#mappinginink

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kazziemuse · 7 years

Text

Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie - Review!

My History with Hey Arnold!

Hey Arnold! It’s about time! Before I dive into the Jungle Movie itself, a note from history and the person writing this review. At the time of this writing, I am 29 years old. Yes, I am a late 80’s baby! And with that, I grew up in the 90’s…When we didn’t all have cell phones, the internet, online multiplayer gaming, and going outside to explore was daily life. What else was good about the 90’s? The cartoons…and, one specifically? Hey Arnold.

I remember at the time, Hey Arnold was a new thing in 1996. It would air during a two-hour time slot dedicated to after school cartoons called CITV. My Nan would pick me up from school at 3:00pm, and we would be home by 3:30pm, just missing the first cartoon. That was ok though, because beyond all else, my favorite by far was Hey Arnold. I used to sit with my Nan watching, and because Hey Arnold was SUCH a real-life show, it got my curiosity running wild. There was so much in this show that grabbed me, that taught me and that made me feel certain emotions for the first time. I would spend hours thinking about episodes and bugging my nan with questions about what we just saw. It must have driven her crazy.

In the many years that I watched CITV after school, not many cartoons from that time period stood out to me as well, apart from of course…Hey Arnold. And, I have fond memories of watching it with my Nan who, sadly passed away in the year 2000. I was 12 years old.

Hey Arnold “concluded” a few years later. And while I still loved the show, I was starting to move onto other things. Still waiting for TJM which, never came. In those early days of dial up internet, it was hard to find information if you didn’t know what you were doing. And thus, I entered my teenage years with the Hey Arnold book closed…But, for how long?

Fast forward to my early mid-twenties. OMG life, right? Real life? This sucks. Crisis after crisis…Let’s try and dive back into something that gave me some good feelings and thoughts. I know! I will dive back into some cartoons…Lets rewatch some childhood favorites, such as Recess and Hey Arnold.

Re-watching the Hey Arnold series as an adult was like watching a different show entirely. The emotion, the truth about how life can be so cruel, the real world problems these characters faced and most of all, Helga’s undying love for Arnold which of course, I shipped immediately. After finishing the Journal, I was devastated to find out the story of TJM being cancelled. I researched, signed the petitions and with little hope of Hey Arnold ever coming back…I counted my blessings and moved on into other fandoms, which would consume the next 5-6 years in terms of obsessions.

It wasn’t until about two years ago, I stumbled across the news that TJM would happen. And honestly? I was excited but not ecstatic. I had moved on and completely obsessed with other fandoms. More TJM information started to fly around, and I slowly started to become obsessed again. It’s only really in the last year or so, that I have re-watched the whole series, followed the news and subscribed to YouTubers. And with that, I’m hooked again.

Leading up to The Jungle Movie

So, with my history with Hey Arnold covered, was that really important? Yes! Because like many of fans, it’s a story of growing up with this show and how returning to the things you loved can bring back the same happiness. But now it’s time to dive into The Jungle Movie!

Where to begin? Craig gave us so much insight to this movie to get one internally screaming! But, at the same time, he didn’t reveal too much as to give us the whole plot. The balance was truly perfect. We would have the answers that we wanted. Where are his parents, and would Arnold and Helga ever be?

SDCC 2017. The first sneak peek is shown and boy! I remember that afternoon so well. My heart was skipping beats watching. Look at this! Look at the animation, how spot on the voices are, look at how true they are to the original characters. It felt like an absolute dream! No revival can be this good? Can it? The more and more footage and screenshots that got released…The more and more I got obsessed and excited. Honestly, at first I wasn’t too keen on Arnold and Helga’s animation. I felt at times it was too different from the main series, especially Helga. That point aside, we were still getting The Jungle Movie soon! And I’m sure it’s not going to ruin anything for me. Hell, it might even grow on me!

In the leading months and weeks to TJM being aired, it had become my main obsession again. Craig’s weekly to daily Instagram posts became something I kept checking my phone for; the previews got me running from my desk at work to a toilet, so I could watch and fangirl in private. This was amazing! I knew this ship would soon be canon! But also, we would find out the answer to the biggest Hey Arnold Mystery of all time: Arnold’s parents.

By now, I was part of Facebook groups, being as active as possible in YouTubers live streams, meeting other fans at ComicCon, and the best part…Making friends within the Hey Arnold community. I was so ready for The Jungle Movie.

The Jungle Movie

As a 10-year-old watching the show back in season 1, I would’ve had a glass of orange juice. Now, as a 29-year-old watching the premier of The Jungle Movie for the first time, I had a glass of wine in hand. The movie kicked off, and the palpitations in my heart were disturbing my comfort. But I didn’t care, Arnold was back on my screen for the first time in many years.

The first dream sequence was painful and emotional. He finds them, but they keep leaving him? This must be a huge fear for him. The wine is needed and straight away this film is grabbing me, it had my emotions from the first scene. Buckle up girl…It’s going to be a long night! Arnold subsequently wakes up, and the main plot of the film is evident. But, this is a cartoon! Cartoons are meant to be funny! Luckily, Hey Arnold has that balance of comedy and emotion, because here enters Grandpa and Grandma to smooth over that first hill of feels. The boarders haven’t changed apart from a slight change in voice, but nothing that’s upsetting. And a pig eating bacon? No I quite agree, that is not ok haha!

With Arnold meeting Gerald on his stoop with friendship thumb wiggle, accompanied by familiar backing of jazz music, it’s apparent that Hey Arnold has kept that original vibe. And I couldn't be more excited to see what was in store! Like bumping into Helga in the next scene. Classic! Helga’s introduction into the movie was our typical old Helga. Leaving her temporary home at the beeper emporium while arguing with her father Bob.

The Jungle Movie has aged with the current time in terms of technology. The characters are only a year older from the original series. Beepers (or, pagers as they are known here in the UK) are not a ‘thing’ anymore with the ever-growing cell phone industry. A small but clever gag was Phoebe explaining what a beeper actually was to our younger audience watching. On another note, Bob’s company is failing as beepers are now obsolete. You get what you deserve Bob!

We see our main characters bump into each other just like tradition. Helga’s behavior hasn’t changed (thankfully). She is still love struck, but quickly raising her defensive walls (shout out to Francesca Marie Smith for keeping her character so true). But one thing that really struck me about this encounter was Arnold. He was reacting to her differently as he would in the original series. Instead of his normal frustration at Helga scolding him, he just smiles, offers to help her up and laughs to her attempts to push him away. “Whatever you say, Helga” with an almost flirtatious look on his face. Wait WAIT, why is he acting like this? Is this a call back to him knowing her feelings after the confession at FTi? Very interesting!

We move onto what seemed like a classic episode of Hey Arnold. Arnold and Gerald working as a team to win a contest. Helga scheming to help then win in a hope to win his affection, and ultimately them winning leading onto the main plot of the movie. I thought this was an incredibly clever call back. It was like being back in that Hey Arnold magic. It felt so true and pure to the original series.

Arnold Shortman, A 10-year-old signing his passport and confirming a long term mystery of his surname. Which was right under our noses for the last 20 years. So, Mr. Shortman, you promised your Grandpa not to search for your long lost parents. Your grandma is hilariously dressed up as a Jungle explorer. Keeping her wacky antics is nothing but a pleasure to watch. Are you ready to go? What could possibly go wrong?

Olga is coming! What could possibly be worse for Helga? Again, the writing stays true to the original show. Helga living in Olga’s shadow and being neglected by her father in favor of Olga. Sad but true. I feel that the amount of neglect Helga experiences from her dysfunctional family reflects on the way she feels her emotions so strongly. She has a lot of love to give and just wants to be loved in return. She is so used to disappointment and neglect which is why she puts up her defensive walls and bullies people away. She doesn’t want to get hurt. The only thing she can express is anger. I feel that is why it is so difficult for her to show the real love filled Helga. She is expressing herself in the only way she knows possible that will keep her safe. But over time we see her brave enough to let her true self seep through…More on this later!

We see our favorite class of PS 118 saying goodbye to parents and loved ones. A huge call out to Mr. Simmons, who is saying goodbye to his gay partner. We don’t see LGBT awareness much in cartoons. As someone who is part of the LGBT community myself, I felt this was a very warming addition. Thank you Craig and team! On the subject of Mr. Simmons… How hilarious was he with his agenda? From the fictional city of Hillwood, to the fictional country of San Lorenzo, my friends, welcome to the jungle.

Here we are guys, after how many years, speculation and imagination…We are finally here with Arnold and his class in San Lorenzo! But remember to be at the docks at 3:00pm to catch the boat down river. Our captain is Eduardo; anything suspicious about him? Many of us from the get-go were suspicious about “Eduardo.” Now here he is, in front of us ready to pilot this boat, and straight away he is fixated on Arnold. And what the hell did he say about tuna anyway? (Yes, I know it was Fortune ;)) Sure, it COULD be his parent’s best friend. We don’t actually have any recent images of him and he may have aged…I mean…He seems friendly, welcoming and genuine. So far anyway, right? But we all know…this “Eduardo” fellow has a huge part to play and we all know it’s not going to be in Arnold’s favor.

It’s our PS118 students as funny as they were 15 year ago. And, I for one am so happy to see them keeping us entertained with their old antics. Arnold, however, is away from his friends and with “Eduardo,” speaking of his parents and hoping to find some answers. But remember, he promised not to go looking for them and Arnold is a boy of his word…right?

I felt Arnold was more out of character than anyone in this movie. But who can blame him? He has the opportunity that he has waited for his whole life: to find his missing parents. With such an opportunity, Arnold takes a risk under false assumptions, which inevitably leads himself and his friends to danger.

Speaking of Arnold being out of character and his development…something stuck out to me and few other fans about his behavior towards certain friends. We see Arnold obviously concerned for his friends’ safety and how he is struggling to keep composed after he is sworn to secrecy by “Eduardo.” Gerald, his best friend of whom Arnold never hides anything from, is the first to confront him. And to my shock, Arnold hides the truth even though Gerald is not oblivious to the fact something is going on…Arnold?

Instead, Arnold opens up to Helga…HELGA. And poor Helga…she has struck up the courage to finally (and again) confront Arnold about her feelings. Hoping that her efforts to get him there to San Lorenzo had nudged at his heart strings, Helga is frustrated when Arnold opens up about his fears of getting his friends in danger while he plans to look for his parents. Again, he opens up to Helga, and not Gerald. Is this maybe a sign of his feelings and trust in her?

We can understand Helga’s frustration and feels of rejection when Arnold dodges out again of her confession. Even though technically, they were having two completely separate conversations. Helga takes this as the last straw. To all of our gasps, she gives up all hope of Arnold retuning her feelings and destroys the most precious thing in her possession since day 1: her heart shaped locket of Arnold. Devastating right? Brainy?

The vibe of the movie is certainly starting to take a turn into unfamiliar territory. Craig Bartlett said, “Friendships will be tested,” and I guess, these are those tests. When you think things couldn't go anymore wrong for our gang, well…it does. They are attacked by river pirates. Eduardo, claiming Lasombra is behind the attack, tells Arnold to hide and forget about his friends…hmm…still trust him, Arnold? By this point, any trust I had in this guy was completely gone.

Epic sword battles, fights and rapids. Our PS 118 friends take the most dramatic journey of their lifetime. Clinging on for dear life, we are all on the edge of our seats hoping that no one falls overboard…Even Curly, who is having the time of his life up on the crows nest. After a rough ride, we end up ship wrecked. We can breathe a sigh of relief that no one is thrown overboard, apart from poor Eugene. But who didn’t see that one coming? But never fear, He’s ok! As he is his own lifeboat.

With some truths coming to light about Arnold being involved with why the attack happened, trust and friendships begin to suffer. It was heart breaking seeing Arnold being avoided by his friends…Only “Eduardo” there to help him up during their long-suffering hike to the safety of the camp. But for me, Rhonda absolutely stole the spotlight here… Come one, We are all Rhonda…taking selfies, refusal to part with one’s luggage and being absolutely traumatized at the thought of hiking through the jungle. Her reactions and deliverance had me laughing so hard. That is certainly something I would like to see more of in Hey Arnold future.

The montage of our PS 118 class traveling through the jungle was a chance to demonstrate some of our characters individually. It was fun to see Nadine having the time of her life collecting weird and wonderful bugs, Sid crying on the floor after the unfortunate demise of his beetle boots (good call back there), and Rhonda struggling to just do…well anything. These kids never fail to make me laugh, even today! They all have something special and individual about them.

We are about halfway through the movie now, and if you made it this far, thank you for sticking with me! Now, let’s move on to what we have suspected all along…“Eduardo,” right? Wrong…if you didn’t suspect something of this guy, then go back and watch again, because this guy had something about him from the get-go. Our “Eduardo” is actually none other than the film’s villain…Lasombra. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.

We then learn the true intentions of the class trip to San Lorenzo. It was all a scheme conducted by Lasombra just to get Arnold there. Unfortunately for our football headed amigo…he’s already put a lot of his trust in this guy. And he was wrong to trust someone who won’t give out a Wi-Fi password.

As the story continues, I felt nothing but mixed emotions. I found myself laughing, and then soon wiping tears from my eyes. We have so many sad moments that tug at our heart strings. Helga’s monologues expressing her love for Arnold have always been some of the most rewarding scenes from the whole Hey Arnold series. The writing and deliverance from Francesca is nothing short of spectacular, and let’s face it. We’ve all been there! Arnold giving up whilst in-prisoned hit me so hard. His voice was full of regret and defeat. Arnold, the boy who is always so optimistic, has given up.

It takes Helga to talk him out of his depressive state, and to accept the challenges ahead of them. Helga is already sticking to her guns and coming out of her comfort zone to assist Arnold. Seeing her comforting him and really being there to offer her support, which Arnold accepts is just so heart-warming! A sign of things to come with these two? Maybe.

Secret pathways, using beepers to create a homing beacon, and a pig eating shrimp cocktail in first class? The only thing missing from this movie is violence…wait no, it’s got that as well. I was surprised to see such brutal deaths of Lasombra’s guards. Although it’s kept fairly ‘clean’ with no blood (thankfully), we do see a guy getting hit by multiple arrows, one guy plummet to his death, and another bunch of guys getting crushed by rocks. That’s quite a few on screen ‘implied’ deaths. Who said TJM had no action?

I doubt this movie could mess me up more than it already had, but boy was I wrong. The emotions were about to kick into overdrive, and I have only had 1/4 bottle of wine left by the time Arnold, Helga and Gerald had found the Green Eyes. The answers to all our questions of the past fifteen years were soon to be revealed. As a long time fan of the show, it was so special getting to see these mysterious beings for the first time. The way they acted, spoke, lived and looked was something one could only imagine for all this time. Not only were we about to get our answers, but so was Arnold.

The hidden city of the Green Eyes was absolutely spectacular. The animation and the amount of detail put into this habitat was an eye saw which dropped jaws. We soon learn of the heartbreak that happened to this society: the adults were all asleep…for the past nine years! While nine years of sleep sounds like a luxury to most of us, joking aside, for these kids they have been functioning on their own for all that time. We start to learn about the final moments recorded of Arnold’s parents: the murals. WOW, was this hard-hitting. It’s the first sign of his parents that this poor kid has had in years, and you can tell just how desperate he is for answers.

The final pieces of the puzzle were starting to fall in place. It was just down to Arnold to do that final act. The problem being, it’s still a puzzle. And Arnold has no idea what to do. Before he can even start to figure it out…yep, what we were all waiting for: Lasombra.

Now, how many of you expected a young chief to throw a blade at Lasombra…A BLADE. I mean how badass was that? Followed by our trio and gang of Green Eyes kicking the wind out of this guy, unfortunately he was armed with a sword, and no one wants to go up against that unarmed. So, we all know what’s going to happen now. Lasombra is going to take what he came for with Arnold in tow.

Dragging an unwilling Arnold by his side, Lasombra reaches the (classic) rickety old wooden footbridge with the certain death plunge below. As they cross, we see Helga and Gerald appear behind them. Despite Arnold’s warnings and pleads, Helga and Gerald continue without any considering for their own safety. I mean wow, this thing is hanging by a thread, and these two kids are attempting to cross just to save Arnold. Can we get a round of applause for completely bravery and loyalty here? But this is a cartoon, that bridge won’t snap right? RIGHT?

Arnold has a dilemma in front of him. He has to solve this puzzle fast before his friends plummet to their deaths. OK that’s cool…it’s not like I’m already on the edge of my seat or anything. Arnold faces the Corazón with his amulet in tow. Sweat pouring down his head and full of determination to save his friends, we see his green eye tracing the steps needed to unlock the treasure inside. Once unlocked, Arnold is pushed to aside and Lasombra looks directly at the heart of gold in all of its pure beauty. Unfortunately for him…he is not as pure and ends up with a poisonous dart in his forehead.

Screaming in pain and heading for the cliff edge which, he inevitably falls off, (yeah byeeeee). Arnold is finally free to help his friends who are still clinging on for dear life. Our hero slips, falls and only just manages to grab onto the same plank Gerald and Helga are clinging onto. Now, top up that glass of wine here guys, because this is where is I almost downed a whole glass. Arnold and Helga meet each others eyes and they just widen. You didn’t need any dialog to know what was going through their heads here. Arnold was finally seeing Helga for her true self, her bravery, her loyalty and that she really does love him. Here they are about to die, and all of this is too late to act upon. They just stare at one another waiting to die, talking only with their eyes. Would somebody please throw them a life line before I jump at my TV?

That life line is finally delivered from the REAL Eduardo, and I can finally breath. There is hope! One thing that grabbed me about what happens next, while Eduardo starts explaining what has happened and how he has been following them. Helga is taken in by the Corazón. Now, I remember back in The Journal, Miles stating to not to look directly into it because they say it’s too sacred. But yet here is our girl Helga…mesmerized and staring directly at it with her hands placed on her heart. No poisonous darts being fired at her. Yes…I was worried for a moment there.

Of course, Lasrombra isn’t dead and climbs his way back up the mountain to finish what he started. With the two fully grown adults getting into a fight over a mustache, pushed and thrown. Helga is the first to run in to assist dragging a bag to place over Lasrombra’s head and using her fist “Old Betsy” to smash him in the face a good few times. This girl is just outstanding and an overall badass. Unfortunately, we see the Corazón fall off the cliff edge to be lost(?). Lasombra finally meets his ends once the poison takes its final effect and he once again falls to his death. “He died like he lived, full of poison.” 10/10 for the sass there Eduardo.

From one heart wrenching scene to another. Now, with Eduardo in tow, he is able to translate the native Green Eye’s language. Once back at the hidden city, Arnold is finally told his parents are there, and that the Green eyes will take them to where they lie. Um, Excuse me? Where they LIE? Could that mean? No…you can’t do this to me…after all these years and the last hour of pure emotional feelings. You’re now going to tell me they are laying there peacefully? I honestly by this point was on invested into the story being told that I hadn’t put two and two together like most of you have already. Instead, I was off my sofa bitterly nose to my TV in suspense to finally find out what happened. As Arnold entered the room, seeing them there pale-faced, sleeping so peacefully hand in hand…I whispered no to myself while a stream of tears started running down my face. I was literally Arnold by this point. After all those years here they are…And here is Arnold seeing them for the first time.

“Are they-?” No, It’s the sleeping sickness. OF COURSE! Wait that means…they are alive? They are alive? I actually laughed as I let out a small laugh in relief. And no, I really didn’t catch on that they had caught the sleeping sickness, not in 15 years. As it was explained that the Corazón was the cure, my heart fell again. But no, it can’t end like this, There HAS to be a way right? Seeing Arnold crying over his parents’ lifeless bodies while Helga and Gerald look on in complete shock was heart breaking. But of course, our girl Helga has a solution.

I honestly didn’t know how Helga would fix this. They knew what they needed and what they had to do. But, they had lost the Corazón. When Helga approached Arnold with a possible solution, I fully expected her to hand him the Corazón. I thought maybe she had taken it while she was staring at it. That was the only thing my mind could muster in those few seconds. I never expected her to open out her hands and present Arnold her golden locket with his picture in. That object that has been a huge symbol of her life for so many years, she is sacrificing so much in that one moment. It’s not only her most precious possession, it’s her true identity. Everything she has kept hidden and inside for so long was out on offer to help Arnold.

This selfless act was causing more and more tears to flow from my eyes. I later thought about this more in depth and theorized the following: Helga mentions her locket is just gold plated and it’s not pure of heart. Now, how would Helga know the Corazón was a pure heart? And anything in its place would need to be pure? Because she stared into the Corazón and felt that pureness. This is why I think she didn’t get a poisonous dart shot at her. Because of that connection with pure hearts, and Helga’s heart is a pure as they get.

Helga doesn’t think highly enough of herself to feel that her locket will work. It takes Arnold to give her that push in confidence and guys, this couldn’t have been more cuter or tear jerking if they tried. “I think your heart is more pure than you know.” He finally understands her.

Pure hearts, loyalty, dedication, love, friendship, determination and Brainy being a saint in retrieving Helga’s locket got us to where we are now. We are about to witness what we have all wanted from Hey Arnold in so many years. Helga’s locket worked, and the cure rains down upon those in deep slumber. Butterflies start to flourish as the cure takes effect. Does that mean? Arnold runs to his parents’ chamber with the most dramatic heart sobbing music in the background. This was it, finally the moment we had all be waiting for, his parents…Arnold parents, of whom have been missing for nine years with no contact. In front of Arnold eyes, they wake from a deep slumber and the first thing they see is their baby. Hey, Arnold. His eyes replicate my own as he runs towards them. He did it, and I couldn’t be more happy even though I was a sobbing mess with no wine left.

The story was concluded. The mystery which lingered for over a decade was now solved. Arnold stood with his parents and celebrated along with the Green Eyes. Miles and Stella’s work was finally complete. It’s a sight we all wished we could see for so long. But our hero wasn’t there? And even after just being reunited with his parents, Arnold noticed Helga sneaking off. Helga was trying to retrieve her locket, which I thought was both a funny and sweet touch. Because after everything, that locket still symbolizes so much to her. After being interrupted by Arnold, Helga still tries to put on her tough girl front and hides her true self still, but Arnold is no longer blind to who Helga really is. With his words, we know that Arnold is seeing through her, seeing the real Helga and finally, after seeing her being so brave, loyal and willing to give up so much for him, he is ready to accept her love.

Even though Arnold didn’t outright say how he feels about Helga, I am a true believer of actions speak louder than words. We have seen how Arnold has acted towards Helga his entire movie. He silenced Helga, she literally had no come or no way out for the first time ever. His act of confirming how he feels about her is sweet beyond words. He takes her hands and offers her a mutual kiss like a true gentleman. The two of them share a moment with their lips locked, and it couldn’t be more beautiful. I was almost angry when Gerald walked interrupted the moment.

The adventure was over. Arnold wakes up in his bed and he is immediately concerned. Oh no you don’t, do not tell me that was all a dream. I am screaming profanity at my TV whilst a near identical scene is played from the beginning of the movie. Was that really all a dream? Please for the love of raspberries no. Please, please no. Arnold’s eyes widen and fill with tears when he thinks that it was indeed just a dream. But they wouldn’t do that to us…and in come Miles and Stella with breakfast for our forever moaning group of boarders. We have never seen Arnold so happy, Wide smiles and dancing on the spot at the sight of his parents back home. I must admit, I really did hold my breath for a second there!

Seeing Miles and Stella home and comforting Arnold is something I never thought I would see. And here it was. It was the sweetest conclusion and satisfying conclusion to the longest story. I would love to see them spend time together, but it’s the worst day of school. Repeating from one of the first scenes of the movie, we see Arnold and Gerald meeting Helga and Phoebe on the corner. But THIS time, things are a little different. There’s no classic bumping into one another. Gerald and Phoebe lead the way hand and hand leaving Arnold and Helga wondering if they should follow suite. While Arnold does attempt this making Helga (and all of us watching) swoon. Helga still ups her defenses and grabs her hand back. I can understand why people would questions her actions here, but I’m kind of happy they left that part of Helga in. This is still her character and she is not going to change overnight. She still keeps her guard up and she has a lot to learn in accepting Arnold’s effect in public. Still, the fact that she smiles as she walks off is a huge development. And don’t worry folks, Arnold isn’t put off by her…he runs after her with that same flirtatious smiley face.

A nice final touch is Arnold’s parents missing him and offering to walk him to school. That final look from Arnold as he enters his school with all his friends and Mr. Simmons declaring he still has a job after the jungle ordeal…that look in his eyes, looking back at his parents looking for him, waiting for him. And that smile knowing that they are never going to leave him again. THAT my friends is how you end a movie.

Conclusion

Nothing is perfect, but the Jungle Movie sure offers some closure. Every time I watch this film, I notice something new. The amount of detail in the background is admirable. They are like paintings. The texture, the colour, the ambience of them is just beautiful. The background animation of characters is incredibly detailed. Instead of just having a still image, I constantly found background characters to be animated and reacting, especially Helga.

The music in this film was gripping, and well suited for the story. A mixture of classic Hey Arnold style Jazz and hip-hop. South American Latin, full orchestral pieces. The emotion was most certainly intensified with the music backing. Hats off to Jim Lang. In cartoon revivals, one thing that is difficult to recreate are those voices. I can honestly say the returning cast and new cast did an absolute fantastic task of both recreating and advancing the characters. It was like watching an old and new show at the same time.

Overall, The Jungle Movie was everything an old school fan like myself could have hoped for. I am not only incredibly satisfied with what we have been given but, I am also thrilled for those who worked on this project for so many years. The creator, Craig Bartlett and his team and the fans who campaigned to make this happen. It’s a fine example of determination, love and appreciation for one another, which isn’t expressed much in today’s world. I am so happy with The Jungle Movie, and I finally have my closure from this epic story.

I can bet, if my Nan were still around today, she would be the one asking me all the questions. And, while I type up my final words, I feel a small part her sitting with me for the first time in many years.

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