#and anyone who is trans or just queer in general should be planning to flee

[fennexin]

Watching ill-informed people trying so hard to be transphobic about the school shooter yesterday and continually use the right pronouns would be funny if it weren't incredibly depressing

[words-that-form-a-rainbow]

Pantomime, and the problem with (Hollywood) diversity

Title of book: Pantomime (Micah Grey, #1)

Author: Lam, Laura

Would I recommend: Yes

Synopsis (From goodreads.com): Gene's life resembles a debutante's dream. Yet she hides a secret that would see her shunned by the nobility. Gene is both male and female. Then she displays unwanted magical abilities - last seen in mysterious beings from an almost-forgotten age. Matters escalate further when her parents plan a devastating betrayal, so she flees home, dressed as a boy. The city beyond contains glowing glass relics from a lost civilization. They call to her, but she wants freedom not mysteries. So, reinvented as 'Micah Grey', Gene joins the circus. As an aerialist, she discovers the joy of flight - but the circus has a dark side. She's also plagued by visions foretelling danger. A storm is howling in from the past, but will she heed its roar? 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As if it wasn’t clear from the first two book reviews I’ve written on this site (Which you should totally go read and share, by the way), I tend to read books that include a lot of representation of all sorts, both LGBT+ and otherwise. And though I like to be optimistic the majority of the time, I am, as everyone should be, critical of them, because if the mainstream catches on to all this, would you rather them see some beautifully crafted, incredibly written prose about our struggles and lives, or that one gay sonic fanfiction you wrote when you were twelve? Yeah, me too.

But even if you are a lot more casual in your enjoyment of media (Which I wish I could be, at this point), it isn’t hard to notice to different levels of diversity certain minorities get over others. Now, I’m not trying to start any kind of war, because even the most represented groups are horribly outweighed by the straight whites of the West, but come on. There’s nothing wrong with effeminate gay men, or (Usually dead) lesbians, or sassy black women who say “Aw hell naw” like it’s the only thing keeping society as we know it afloat (Which isn’t wholly from the truth, actually), it can get a little tiring after a while, especially when you see another series or book written by someone who either a) has never actually met a gay person in their life, and/or b), is horribly fetishistic to a certain group and completely excludes literally anyone else, like those women who think gay men are their taboo sinners, yet find Sapphic women and trans folk predatory (They’re so gross).

And to be honest, I’m tired of it. And I know a lot of other people are, too.

And that is why I was (Very happily) surprised when I read Pantomime, the first of the Micah Grey trilogy, by Laura Lam. And do you know what it has? A queer main character who is neither gay nor perfectly attractive, and whose identity isn’t the only facet of their character! Oh boy, I felt like a kid in a sweet shop. And then I felt a kind of sadness, that we, as a community, were celebrating the fact that a character was, y’know, an actual character and not just a walking stereotype. This is the bar we’re setting for ourselves. This is the bar the mainstream has made us set.

And hell, I’ll shout from the rooftops with praise for any kind of media that raises it. Even if it’s by just a little.

So a big part of what I liked about Pantomime was the main character, Micah Grey (Also called Gene in some parts of the book, but as they almost exclusively choose to use Micah to refer to themselves, I’ll use that), who is, one of if not the first intersex character in a novel, or at least is certainly the only one I know about. Now a lot of you may be going, “Oh, gee, Scotty, I know all about them Ells and Gees and Bees, but what the hell is an intersex?” And that, is precisely the problem.

If I were to answer the question scientifically, an intersex person is one who is not born entirely male or female, biologically. They make up around one percent of the population, (Which is around 80 million people, and about twenty percent more people than the entire population of the UK, so don’t even dare try to tell me that it’s too small of a number to care about), are not the same as trans people (Which is all about gender identity), and yes, exist, either as having both sets of genitalia (Like Micah does), or any other mix, for example being born with XYX chromosomes, wrong amounts of hormones, etc��

But you don’t care about that, right? You wanted a book review, not a biology lesson. Fair enough. But my point is, this is the representation we need. An actual character, with unique identities and struggles and strengths that many people go through and can relate to. Because fuck political correctness, diversity within media just straight up makes it more interesting, as well as eliminates the feeling of many, many people feeling excluded from the little penthouse party Hollywood have got going on for any kind of shithead, as long as you’re cishet and white and can make a lot of money. Just fuck the rest of them, right?

Sorry, I just… the Harvery Weinstein thing happened this week, and though I’m not a huge film guy generally, I knew this guy was at the top of the food chain. And the fact that it happened for years… let’s just throw the whole Hollywood out, to be honest.

Anyway, I’m getting off topic. Back to Micah.

What I liked about the way Lam portrayed them is that she struck a nice balance between the aforementioned, “Let’s make their identity the only part of their personality/development,” and the even less accurate idea of them having no struggles with other people and, just as importantly, themselves. Throughout the book, they find themselves torn between their given identity of wholly female, and the identity they chose as male at the circus, which is where most of the story takes place. And although the main reason for them running away from the circus is to avoid corrective genital surgery (Which, yes, is a real thing, and also yes, is done on a lot of people without their consent, usually when they’re much younger than Micah), and even after their intersex identity is found out by some of the other characters, they still use the same name, they never directly state if they strictly identify as one or the other, (Bearing in mind this is only the first book of three, I’ve only just started reading the second), which is also why I choose to use they/them pronouns throughout this review.

It’s done well, really. Generally speaking, the more conflict and challenges the character faces at the beginning, the more satisfying the overcoming is at the end, and their feelings never felt out of place, or rushed. Good job, Lam.

The bisexuality of Micah is also an interesting talking point, particularly how it develops not only their sexuality but also their gender identity. Their first real love interest, Aenea, not only makes them realise their bisexuality, but also questions the masculinity within them, highlighting an interesting talking point about a subconscious idea in society that, even within the LGBT community and/or people who completely negate labels of gender altogether, we still conform to the traditional, heteronormative ideals we try to break away from. There’s always the question asked of who’s the man and woman in the relationship. There’s always the assumption that trans people are straight. One of the girls always has to wear a suit and a dress at the wedding. It’s stale, you know?

And while some people might criticise this arc for perpetuating that idea, I would argue more that it shows the way a lot of LGBT people do still think, subconsciously, including me, even though I, like many others, know the whole idea is stupid and archaic. It shows how ingrained heterosexuality and heteronormativity is in us, no matter who we are.

It also shows change in Micah - that their identity in every sense is constantly changing and evolving to fit new people and situations, that gender is a fluid sort of concept to them that isn’t really one hundred percent labelled by them, which can be and is what many people choose to be. And to be honest, that’s just plain nice to see in a queer character, since most stories begin at the point when the character has finished that kind of emotional journey, or play it off like they’ve known precisely who they were all along (Which is another ridiculous stereotype, by the way. Stop expecting kids to be able to figure that out by themselves, or even care about it. There are more important things to them, like getting hyper off of ridiculously sugary drinks and making sure they catch that Pikachu.)

I like it a lot, can you tell?

One criticism I have (Which isn’t really one, but more of a concerned prediction), is that it’s a particularly concise story, meaning, generally, it doesn’t leave a lot open. Yes, Micah is on the run from the police with a character called Drystan, (Who is a gay man who conveniently explains what being gay means, but he’s somehow made clowns seem a lot less scary to me so I’ll allow it), which is an intriguing enough continuation, but apart from that, there’s not a whole lot to go on. We haven’t had much development of any of the other places, every character we got to know is either dead, (Sorry Aenea, I did like you), vaguely left at some point in the novel, or is too minor to really give any kind of mention. I’m scared that Lam will either waste her time for a few hundred pages by treading water in the shallow end of the pool, or try to set up a whole new roster of characters while completely abandoning the old ones, essentially destroying the relationships and need for a lot of the interactions in the first book, (Which, if we’re going with the swimming pool analogy, would be like getting out of the water and jumping out of the nearest window into the Mariana’s Trench with bricks tied to her legs).

But we’ll just have to wait until I read it, won’t we. Hopefully not long, eh? (No, not long, is the correct answer. You can at least try to humour me, you know. You’ve read the whole review so you must like me a tiny bit. Tiny tiny bit? Maybe?

Hm… I hope she does do the second one, to be honest… or surprises me with some kind of magical third option, but I’ve learnt that you get brownie points on the internet if you’re constantly cynical. Not that it matters. The inevitable passage of time will consume and leave us all behind, eventually, letting us to fester wondering, was it all worth it? Were my shitty book reviews a valuable contribution to human society, in comparison? And what even was the point of this system in the first place? Why do we even bother to try to be more than savages, or even calculate that yes, we are living, when it will do nothing but further realise the emptiness and complete loneliness of the vacuum of space? Or what if-

Sorry. It’s been a rough week. See you next time.)