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scullysexual · 4 years ago

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pirate au fic; i’ll tell you a tale of a pirate queen (5/ )

A tale of a Pirate Queen.

@today-in-fic

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Chapter Five: Here A Man Be Free

The last few men filter through the entrance to the cave, spreading themselves out in the small area. Fifty, Dana counted, of the 300 that mull about the island, only fifty want to continue piracy. Spender keeps watch for any snitches who could’ve followed them here.

“You all know why we’re here,” Mulder asks. He stands near the back of the cave holding the pardon in his hands. “This pardon says we’ll be able to live free if we turn ourselves in but we know that’s not true. We turn ourselves in, when will we ever be allowed, trusted enough, to sail again?” She watches his eyes scan the faces of the men sat listening to him. “When will the likes of Frog, Elias, and Jacko be considered equal in the eyes of white men and gods again?” A murmur begins to rise, mutterings to the person sat next to them. Mulder looks down at the pardon and hops down from the bench he stands upon. “This pardon says all men will be free but what they don’t understand is that here, a man be free. Free from the hierarchy of a naval service, where a man is whipped if he so much as mutters a word, dares to disagree. Free to take as much or little as we want.” A stir begins to form, the mutters and murmurs etch higher and higher as men begin to shout their agreement towards Mulder.

“How many of you have risked your lives on the sea and received nothing but a pitiful handful of coppers?”

The men shout back, banging their hands on the rocks.

“Because that is what you’re asking for when you sign this.” He holds the paper up and points at it. “You’re asking for the whips, for the chains, for the poverty if this is what you agree with.”

All fifty men rise, shouting and yelling in encouragement. Adrenaline courses through Dana as she finds herself swept up in it. She looks towards Mulder who stands there looking pleased with himself. He catches her eye and she smiles.

The cries die down and a slow clap makes its way through the cave. Dana turns towards the noise as the men part and a man she has yet to meet makes his way through the crowd.

“Impressive speech Mulder,” the man says. “How long did it take you to come up with that?”

Mulder sighs. “What do you want, Krycek?”

“Just having a look,” Krycek says. His eyes scan the crew. “An interesting bunch you’ve got here, Mulder. A black man, a psycho,” his eyes finally land on Dana, the look of disgust clouding them. “And a woman.” Dana clenches her fist, staring him down. Krycek smiles and looks back towards Mulder. “Fitting for the disgraced son of a plantation owner.”

“You come to join us?” asks Mulder.

“I don’t think I fit in much,” Krycek answers. “Besides, I haven’t decided if I’m gonna accept the pardon or not yet.”

“Skinner just made you a captain,” says Spender. “Like hell you’re going to accept it.”

“Well, when I decide, I won’t let you know.” Krycek turns away, walking out of the cave.

“Will he tell anyone?” Dana asks. She didn’t trust this Krycek and Spender not stopping his entering worried her.

“No,” says Mulder. “He’s got no love for the British anymore than we do.” He shakes his head. “He won’t say anything.” He shuffles forwards, rising his voice to address the crew. “This is the plan. Tomorrow, Scully will go back to the tavern, be part of the welcoming committee and will sign the pardon on our behalf. It will give us more time to figure a way out of here.” He turns to Dana. “If anyone asks, the rest of us have gone out to sea, you’re not sure when we’ll be back.” Dana nods, it was easy enough. “I want you to report back anything you hear, okay. Anything.”

“Okay,” she agrees.

“The rest of us will camp out here until we know it’s safe to leave,” he addresses back to the men.

“Do you think this will work?” she asks him. It’s not to undermine him, her hope depends on it.

“It won’t be easy but once we’re away from here, we should be okay.”

Dana smiles, hoping that was the case.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

Colton is an idiot. Ambitious, smug, carrying an air of arrogance and “I’m better than you” around him. The lower end of the ranking, Dana imagines he volunteered for this job, thinking he was doing somebody a favour. All he’s doing is shovelling the shit in the Navy’s eyes.

She signed the pardon, scribbled her signature on behalf of herself and Mulder’s crew. In three days time, they were to board The Angel and go back to England or, alternatively, they could live on here.

She does as Mulder told her. Sits in the tavern and listens to the conversations around her- one she learns are rumours that Krycek plans to take a ship called The Outlaw as the ships in their harbour would become property of the British. She keeps note of what is important and what isn’t, keeping her ears trained on Colton and Skinner, mostly, who sit on the furthest table in the room.

“There are still people yet to have signed the pardon,” she hears Colton say.

“Look,” says Skinner. “Those who want to sign it, sign it. I can’t make them.”

Colton hums. “One of these people who have yet to sign it is Aleksandr Krycek. He was your Right-Hand-Man, was he not?”

“He was,” answers Skinner.

“And you can’t account for his whereabouts?”

“I made him a Captain,” Skinner explains. “He commands his own ships now, his own crew. If he hasn’t signed the pardon, that’s his reasons.”

Dana tucks that one away; Krycek made his decision.

“Well, I doubt you’ll mind looking for him then.”

“Excuse me?”

“Those who don’t sign the pardon are to be caught and hanged, Mr Skinner.”

“You expect me to become your bounty hunter?”

“The Navy would appreciate it greatly.”

Colton’s footsteps retreat from the table, Dana watches him walk past. He takes no notice of her.

This was interesting.

She downs her drink in one gulp and scurries out of the tavern towards Mulder in his cave.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

“Krycek has gone. I overheard someone say he was planning on stealing a ship called The Outlaw, that all our ships would become property of the British.”

“Makes sense,” says Elias. “Take our ships, we can’t sail anywhere.”

Mulder nods.

“There’s more, too. Colton’s turned Skinner into some pirate bounty hunter. He’s instructed him to go after Krycek and his crew.”

“Traitor!” yells Spender, he kicks the rocks on the ground.

“And once they realise we’re not here, he’ll be instructed to go after us, too,” Mulder states.

Dana nods. Her father told her tales about Walter Skinner, how he was one of the best navigators. There was no out-sailing him.

“We’ll have to leave sooner,” says Mulder.

“How?” Elias asks. “There’s no ships left.”

An idea hits Dana. It might be suicide but it was worth ago.

“What if we took The Outlaw?”

“Steal from Krycek?” Elias laughs, shocked. “That’s the last thing you want to do.”

“It wouldn’t be stealing if we claimed it first,” Dana explains, her eyes on Mulder. “We’ll fight him for it.”

“Krycek isn’t some little amateur sailor, you stupid bitch,” shouts Spender. He stands close to her, peering down at her. “In first sailed with the Imperial Russian Navy. There’s a reason Skinner chose him as his Right-Hand.”

“Alright, back off,” commands Elias, standing between Spender and Dana, creating a wedge.

Spender steps back. “She wants to get us killed,” cries Spender, pointing his finger at Dana.

Dana goes to say something but she’s cut off by Mulder.

“I don’t see you suggesting anything, Spender.” Spender backs down. “It’s worth a shot.” He says, nodding.

Dana smiles gleefully at Spender.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

The ship sits at the bottom of the harbour. Not a soul in sight, it was easy pickings. Something about it didn’t feel right to Dana.

“If Krycek is really gone, why hasn’t he already taken it?” she asks Elias.

“Nobody knows why Krycek does anything,” says Elias. “Get untying.”

Dana nervously looks around. Her stomach twists and turns. Something was wrong about this. She might not know Krycek every well but something told her he wouldn’t just abandon his ship like this, not while knowing they were still on the island. The others, however, seem not to care. She shakes her head, puts it down to worrying about getting caught by the British and sets on untying the rope.

The moment her hands touch the rope, however, there’s a cry from Elias. She turns as he slips and his dragged into the sea by something.

She goes to shout, to alert the others, but they’re under attack, too. Some pulled beneath the pier, others with shadows holding a knife to their necks.

“You really thought it would be that easy, Mulder,” comes Krycek’s voice. He moves from the shadows, a smile across his face.

“You already have a ship Krycek,” Mulder tells him. “Why do you need this one?”

“It’s bigger, better.” He smacks the side of it. “But I am willing to fight you for it.”

The smile doesn’t leave Krycek’s face. Already, he thinks he’s won.

Mulder nods his head, not letting any fear show. “Deal.”

Krycek just smiles some more. “You win, you get the ship. I win, I get the ship and…” his eyes fall to Dana. “her.”

Dana’s stomach drops as she looks at Mulder. She catches the worry in his eye, a reminder that he isn’t a fighter.

.:.:.:.:.:.

She tries not to let her worry show. Soon as she notices her fingers tangling together, she rips them apart, even going as far to sit on her hands.

Mulder wasn’t a fighter. He avoided it as much as he could but now her life depended on him winning. Dana hoped that wasn’t too much to bear.

“I can fight him for you,” she suggests but Mulder shakes his head.

“That would be cowardly. Especially if I was to get a girl to fight for me.” He smiles. “I’ll be okay, Dana. I’ll try my best.”

She nods, knowing he will. “Will he kill you?”

“No. It’s just who gives up first.” They see Krycek ready. “The others will fight. Your going will be the last thing that happens, okay.”

Dana nods again, believing him, believing in his crew.

His lips press against hers. “I love you,” he confesses.

Dana smiles, pushes at him slightly. “Go on.”

She watches him walk away, her arms crossing over her body.

“He’s been in fights before Scully,” says Elias, soaked through yet recovered from his dip in the sea. “He’ll be okay.”

She uncrosses her arms, allowing her fingers to tangle together as she watches. A clanging of swords, near misses from both of them. Mulder tries to keep up but Krycek is too quick, the edge of his sword scrapes Mulder’s side and Krycek knocks him to the ground.

Dana holds her breath, praying for Mulder to get up, her hand subconsciously falling to her stomach.

Beside her, Elias is whispering his own mantra yet Mulder does not get up. He lays on the ground, his hand covered with blood.

“You’re just not good enough Mulder,” Dana hears Krycek say. He turns around, the victor. He’s won the ship and Dana.

“He’s gotta get past us,” says Elias, determined.

Dana smiles, trying to find comfort in that. She doesn’t tell him that the others don’t care for her.

“Or maybe not.” Elias nudges her. “Look.”

Dana looks to see a dagger pierce Krycek’s calf. The other man falls to the ground as Mulder stands up. The tables have turned and it’s them who have won the shop.

She runs to him, gathering him up in her arms. He falls against her, hissing at the pain in his side.

“Let’s get you inside,” she tells him, helping him towards the ship.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

Once on board, she helps him with his clothes. The cut is long and nasty. He hisses and winces when she moves the skin.

“Is it bad?” he asks not wanting to look at it.

Dana smiles at him. “You’ll live,” she says. “It’ll scar, though.”

Mulder shrugs. “What’s another scar?”

Dana smiles slightly. She busies herself getting pieces of cloth and bunching them together to press against his side.

“You seem distracted,” he says.

One look into his eyes and Dana knows she can’t keep her thoughts to herself anymore. She drops the cloth and sighs, turning around to sit beside him on the bed.

“You won’t be mad when I tell you?” she asks, looking at her hands, pressing her thumb into her palm.

She waits for him to comment, to offer in this quip or joke. When one doesn’t come, she exhales, her eyes trained above her on the ceiling.

“Mulder…” A shaky breath falls from her lips. The internal struggle of whether to tell him or not. But he’s looking at her expectantly, it’s clear she has something to say.

“You can tell me, Dana.”

And she can. She knows she can.

“Okay,” she says, nodding, believing him. “I…I think I’m pregnant.”

Shock floods his face, then confusion, then awe.

“You’re…” he starts then shakes his head. “How can you be sure?”

She shrugs, unsure herself. “I just…know?” she offers as answers.

He jumps up, the pain in his side forgotten, smiling. Then the smile fades.

“Shit Dana,” he says. “We’re about to go…the men….”

Dana stands, ready to protest.

“They don’t have to know. Not yet.” She grabs his arms. “I’m not even showing yet. Please, don’t leave me behind.”

“Dana, it’s dangerous. This life is dangerous. If something was to happen to you, or…”

“It won’t,” she tells him. “We’re just looking for more crew, right?”

“Right.”

“Then you need me until then. Once I start showing, then you can drop me off somewhere. But until then, I stay here.”

His eyes trained on her stomach, she can see him thinking it over. Finally he nods then laughs.

“A baby…” he says in awe.

Dana finds herself laughing, too. At the absurdity of it all.

Mulder kisses her. Once then twice then once again and Dana laughs some more. She was home. And she was free.

#the x files #the x-files #txffic #xfiles fanfiction #pirate au #historical au #alternative universe #xfiles alternative universe #multichapter fic #18th century #mature #scullysexualwrites

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shenani-gan · 6 years ago

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LFRP - Gan Haragin (Balmung) UPDATED!!!!!

Gan Haragin

Age: 34ish?

Birthday: 19th sun of the 4th Astral moon

Race: Au Ra, Xaela

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Pansexual

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral? I guess?

Marital Status: Widowe

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE –––

Hair: Dark purple, with tints of deep red.

Eyes: Heterochromatic Orange and Green, black sclera, white limbal ring

Height: 4’ 9”

Build: Small and solid, like a brick shithouse

Distinguishing Marks:

Always looks haggard, no matter how much sleep or how clean she is

Plenty of visible scars along her body where there are no scales

Dresses consistently in black, purple, and sometimes gold. Usually a combination of the first two.

Common Appearance: Gan usually wears her hair pulled back somehow with multiple braids running through it. Always with some sort of jacket and thigh high boots. Though she never carries a weapon on her, she always has a flask or two on hand. And there’s also a good chance that in one of her random packs, she’s carrying homemade Buuz.

PERSONAL –––

Profession: Privateer, Mercenary, Pit Fighter

Hobbies: Drinking, Fighting, Writing

Languages: Eorzean, Xaela

Residence: Limsa Lominsa

Birthplace: Azim Steppes

Religion: None

Fears:

Losing loved ones

Betrayal

Squids and Octopi

RELATIONSHIPS –––

Spouse: Amaud Vallot (Husband, deceased), Vehn Kha (Boyfriend)

Children: None

Parents:

Bataar Haragin (Father, deceased)

Erhi Haragin (Mother, deceased)

Siblings:

Toragana Arulaq

Probably a dozen others she doesn’t know about

Other Relations:

Ex boyfriend whom she refuses to name. Dated before her late husband, betrayed her for unknown reasons and whose current whereabouts are unknown. As is whether he is alive or dead.

The Eight Winds, a Mercenary Group whom she works for

The members of SEEK, her roomates and-- one might even say… Friends?!

The House of Oki and Tyalo Moro, her place of residence in Doma and her Geomancy teacher respectively.

Enemies:

No specific enemies. Only anyone trying to harm her, or the few friends she has. Or anyone trying to arrest her whilst performing her job.

TRAITS –––

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

RP HOOKS –––

The Betrayer

Gan’s first love betrayed her and left her broken hearted. His motives are wrapped in mystery, as are his current whereabouts. Even whether he is alive or dead is unknown to Gan. The only thing known about this man is that Gan refuses to say anything about him other than that she was betrayed. She won’t even speak his name.

Yo ho, feedle di dee

You are a pirate! Or rather, a privateer. Gan’s been on deck since she can remember, traveling across Eorzea. When not at sea, she finds mercenary work on land. It’s been nearly 20 years that she’s been at work and so, anyone in Limsa Lominsa, or who regularly deals with Privateers/Mercenaries are likely to have runa cross her or know her.

Odd Pairing

Gan’s late husband was an Elezen. Talk about a mismatched pair. That being said, she’s spent plenty of time in Coerthas before the Calamity, so anyone that actively lived/traded there may have noticed her, or heard of her since a midget in a sea of giants is conspicuous. Or anyone who may have known her late husband, including members of his family.

O’ Brother, Where art Thou?

Gan's daddy was a bit of a player before leaving the Steppes with her and her mother. It's possible that Gan has a bunch of half siblings she knows nothing about.

Teach Me

Since finally taking the step to return to the East for the first time in nearly three decades, Gan has found the desire to learn about her people and their customs. So any Xaela based RP would be welcome!

So you like to read

Gan writes books in her free time. The public serial that has her name to it is called the “Pirates and Rebels” series. It’s a mystery series with a--you guessed it--nautical swashbuckling theme. There are 10 books in the series. On the quiet side, she writes smutty romance novels under the Nom De Plum, “Ped Xing”. There are about a dozen of these books all with various plots.

CONTACT INFORMATION –––

ganshands.tumblr.com

Hello! Gan is a bitter privateer with a crunchy exterior but a heart of gold! She’s constantly trying to throw hands, but that’s just a diversionary tactic to keep people from getting too close. I’ve recently come back to FFXIV after a hiatus of… a couple years…. So I’d love to make some new RP acquaintances. Feel free to message me on tumblr or discord, but if you’re going to hit me up on discord, please let me know who you are. Ciao!

WHAT I’M WILLING TO RP-

Pretty much anything. Though be forewarned, if you’re making a romantic move on her with the hopes of initiating something, you’re going to be sorry. Gan’s as loyal as they come when it comes to partners.

I AM NOT WILLING TO RP-

Be your Punching bag IC or OOC

Partake in anything that includes harming children

Harm a character or let my character be harmed without permission

#gan haragin #ffxiv rp #ffxiv balmung rp #lfrp sheet #updated #so much has happened

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scrawnydutchman · 7 years ago

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Rick and Morty Season 3 Ranked Worst to Best (Spoilers)

Well friends, the long awaited Season 3 of the hit show Rick and Morty has come to a close. It will not be time again to get schwifty until Season 4 hits. When will it hit? Who knows? But do Mr. Poopy Butthole a favour and don’t waste your life waiting for it like you did waiting for Season 3. Anyways, now that the third season has ended, what did I think overall? Well, to be honest . . . it was very hit and miss. It doesn’t feel right to call any of these episodes bad, because bad by Rick and Morty standards is truthfully still leagues above the vast majority of television right now. But some episodes ARE undeniably stronger than others, and while Season 3 was no doubt a joy ride it DID end up being a lot more bittersweet than previous seasons. Seeing as there are 10 episodes altogether, I felt it was appropriate to rank these episodes from worst to best. This is purely my opinion; if you disagree with this list it’s totally fine. If you enjoyed the lower ranked episodes I’m glad you did, if you think other episodes are overrated that’s fair enough. Alright, enough padding, let’s get into it!

10. The Rickchurian Mortydate (The Finale)

You know, seeing as this is the note the season goes out on, it’s a damn shame how underwhelming it is. I still stand by that by Rick and Morty standards the worst episode is still leagues above most television, but man of man does this episode feel like a misfire for multiple reasons. For one, the whole episode feels like it’s on fast forward. Something about the pacing is incredibly off; there’s no time to process any of the still clever one liners. That’s probably due to all the shit they shove into this episode that isn’t handled nearly as gracefully as other entries in this list. While we’re on the subject, this episode feels the need to throw TONS of shit at you and just go in any random direction with no clear reason as to why. This series has a reputation for deliberately subverting expectations, but up until this point it’s done so in a way that feels logical and just as right as any presumptions we as the audience may have had. It has a Minecraft reference in it. . . I guess . . . but then it just immediately dismisses it by saying South Park did it. If they’re trying to avoid doing stuff that’s already been done then why even bring it up? It’s just misplaced randomness and not particularly clever. What’s most disappointing about this episode though is the fact that it basically undid everything Season 3 established. Beth and Jerry are back together, Beth literally states that the 4th Season will be like Season 1 but more streamlined (I thought forth wall breaking was Rick’s thing?), and the storytelling possibilities about Beth’s clone choice are pretty much thrown right out the window, so you can just disregard the fan theory I wrote (or maybe they’re not? IDK that whole aspect was so rushed and confusing). The finale had some great jokes (like Rick being afraid of pirates got a chuckle out of me) and it has a good amount of outrageousness, but more than a concise and tight episode this feels like a constant throwing of shit at the wall to see what sticks, and sadly the wall is clean for the most part. All well. Maybe Season 4 will do great things as a result of this setup and I’ll think differently about this episode in retrospect. Until then, it’s a pretty shallow conclusion.

9. The ABCS of Beth (Episode 9)

Before anyone calls it out on me, the rest of this list is NOT in order of chronological release of episode in reverse. ANYWAYS, Before the finale I felt this was the weakest entry in the series. My biggest issue with it is how on the nose all of the character analysis is. This may be the least thematically subtle episode in a series that involves a character turning into a Pickle with a family therapy subplot. It even goes as far as having Beth summarize the plot of what happened to Tommy like she was reciting a book report. And then when Tommy describes what he’s been up to via disturbing childrens play it’s not any information we didn’t already know. Then you have the subplot of Jerry being called out for being a closeted racist and sexist, ALSO verbally explained by Summer. This episode is a bad case of tell-don’t-show, which is a mentality you ABSOLUTELY want to avoid when you make a film or tv show. Being Rick and Morty it’s still got some good jokes (like the bit where Rick shows Beth’s old toys is hilarious) and the ending is nice and sweet (as well as the only hint of subtlety throughout the whole ride) but beyond that it’s basically just characters giving their own synopsis so you don’t have to think about it and a hard reliance on incest and cannabilism humor.

8. Rickmancing the Stone (Episode 2)

Rick and Morty does Mad Max?? Based on premise alone you would think this would be a memorable ride of absolute mayhem, not unlike the franchise it homages. But that’s the real and unfortunate irony about this entry . . . it’s probably the most forgettable episode of the bunch. I remember Morty getting a huge muscular arm and Rick helping Morty drown a guy . . . that was funny. I remember Summer getting involved with a deadbeat apocalypse survivor . . . that was . . . . funny? I remember Jerry getting gusts of wind muttering “loser” to him. All of it is . . . not very impactful if I’m honest. Some might argue it’s memorability is a result of it being one of the earliest episodes in the season, but in contrast to it the premiere happened way sooner and it had some of the most memorable events of the whole series. Truthfully if any episode of the series was supposed to have the crazy fast pacing of the finale, I think it should have been this one. This is the perfect setup to just throw a bunch of crazy insane and violent shit at the viewers for no rhyme or reason. It does that SOMETIMES but not nearly enough. By the end it just becomes super mundane and downplayed. I get that’s supposed to be the joke because it’s meant to be a subversion of Mad Max, but the joke unfortunately doesn’t pay off that well.

7. Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender (Episode 4)

Apparently this is series Co-Creator Dan Harmon’s least favorite episode according to some leaked audio footage. Personally I like this episode overall for a multitude of reasons (though they may be largely due to my biases as both an animator and superhero fan). For one, this may be the most beautifully animated and stylized entry in the season. The power effects are cool, the designs and overall concepts of the Vindicators are nice, it has some creative visuals and nice use of colour. Visually speaking the most mindblowing thing about this episode is Million Ants. The way he moves, the way he morphs into different shapes, the way his model is constantly shifting and morphing and how he’s very clearly hand drawn frame by frame (most of the time at least). Million Ants alone may be the best animation the show has ever done. The episode also has the bit about Morty thinking Rick is finally confessing that he loves him, only to find Rick meant to make that message for Noob Noob, which is easily the hardest I ever laughed the entire season (INCLUDING the Szechuan sauce bit). But the episode isn’t without it’s problems sadly. I actually watched a pretty good video analyzing why this episode isn’t as strong as others, and it pointed out that it goes against Dan Harmon’s treasured “Hero’s Journey” story arc, by having Morty’s change of heart about the Vindicators happen way too quickly. I’ll link to the video below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdQWTbLWYxI

It also has the unfortunate handicap of having the heroes be too difficult to like right out the gate, as we are only merely told of their heroic feats rather than shown them. Once again, we’re told what to think verbally by the main characters. Also, the dabbing at the end was beyond cringeworthy. In fact, come to think of it, there are a LOT of moments in this season that are like that, where it’s just a reference to something topical that sticks out like a sore thumb. The dabbing, the Minecraft bit, Beth saying “fake news”. Is there someone on the Rick and Morty staff that insists there must be an arbitrarily shoehorned pop culture reference every episode? All well, that aside this is a solid episode IMO. Not the best, but solid.

6. Pickle Rick (Episode 3)

Ah yes, who could forget the most quoted and frequently referenced episode in the whole series, all because of one strange punchline? This episode is very likable for similar reasons to episode 4. It has very imaginative visuals and some of the best animation in the whole series, especially that fight scene with the rats. It’s a very clever, funny and action packed homage to Die Hard and other gun towing action films like it, and it’s got some of the funniest bits of dialogue and surreal humor in the season. Some people were turned off by the family therapy scenes, and yeah, I’d be lying if I said they didn’t carry the same issues of spelling out character synopsis that the other episodes have. But I felt they were still a nice subplot that make great stark contrast to the ongoing outrageousness of the main plot. The calming and soothing voice of Dr. Wong makes the intense gore of Pickle Rick’s fight stand out all the more in comparison. Plus I liked her little monologue at the end as I thought it was one of the few bits of verbal explanation in the show that was warranted and welcome. Not much else to say about this one. I’M PICKLE RIIIIIICK!!!

5. Morty’s Mind Blowers (Episode 8)

Alright, enough bitching about flaws. Let’s talk about the REAL shining moments in the series!! This episode is Season 3′s alternative to interdimensional cable. While I was initially pretty disappointed that this was their stand in, that sentiment was immediately put at ease when I was gift wrapped the funniest, most grotesque and most deliciously pessimistic clip show I’ve ever received in my life (thankfully it’s clips we never saw though). The episode is all about going through the memories Rick had removed from Morty’s mind, whether it’s because Morty begged him to or because it’s something Rick wanted removed, and like what you would think every clip is outrageous, surreal and gut wrenchingly dark. The bit about the dictator squirrels was great, the bit about the smudge on the lens is hilarious, we finally get to see a character dubbed by a fan who won a contest (great job btw) and the episode isn’t without it’s nice dosage of references to the past. It’s pretty fantastic and is just as entertaining as Interdimensional cable (that said, I DO want IC3 sometime in the future). After a whole season dealing with family drama, trust issues, loss in faith and other depressing themes, it’s nice to take a break and have an episode that’s a pure comedy from beginning to end.

4. The Rickshank Redemption (Season Premiere)

Here it is. The Season Premiere. The answer to the questions we’ve been holding onto for nearly 2 years after the finale to Season 2. It’s also the best April Fools day prank Adult Swim has ever pulled. Delaying Samurai Jack was WORTH IT!!! Like I said, this episode managed to answer the most tantalizing questions for us after the heartbreaking finale of Season 2. Not only did it do that, but it gave us the most hilarious and epic answer we could have possibly hoped for. You think Rick did everything he did to prove he really did love his family? You think the reason he is who he is is because he’s had to suffer the tragic fate of losing his family before? FUCK THAT!!! It was all an elaborate scheme to get back at every authority that ever did wrong by him. He rekt the intergalactic government, the Council of Ricks AND Jerry all in 20 minutes of pure hilarity and intense espionage. And best of all, he made up that shit about loving his family. HE JUST NEEDS THAT SZECHUAN SAUCE MORTY!! I said before that the Noob Noob bit is the hardest I ever laughed in the series, but the Szechuan sauce is a VERY close second. This was the absolute perfect way to kick off the season and to stoke our fires in anticipation for future episodes.

3. Rest and Ricklaxation (Episode 6)

Of all the entries to Season 3, this episode feels the most like Season 1. While the majority of Season 3 is some sort of switch up to the status quo where either Rick goes on an adventure with a different member of the family or Morty isn’t his usual worried or panicking self (and is notably turning into an unapologetic pessimist), this one goes back to the roots of the shows good ol’ fashion premise of Rick taking his timid grandson on a life changing, dream crushing adventure. Not only is it a refreshing back-to-basics episode with great morbid humor, but it actually has a very interesting and fresh commentary on what it means to be a good person, told in a more tongue-and-cheek way than other episodes have talked about their core themes. The episode is all about Rick and Morty removing their ‘toxicity’ (I.E. what they hate most about themselves) and their toxicity manifesting into negative unhealthy versions of them. The point the episode gets across though is that personality traits aren’t necessarily good or bad in all circumstances. Sometimes it’s good to be shy and timid and sometimes it’s good to be forceful and upfront. Sometimes it’s bad to be confident and it’s bad to be passive. The episodes point is that everybody has things about themselves they would rather not have but the truth is, every facet of our being is what makes us who we are and it isn’t actually healthy to go into any extreme. It’s a heartwarming message about self acceptance told in a hilarious, cruel and dark way that Rick and Morty always does. What’s not to love?

2. The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy (Episode 5)

This episode is beat for beat, pound for pound, consistently, the funniest episode of the whole season and QUITE POSSIBLY the whole show. It’s comedic writing and execution is right up there with The Rick’s Must be Crazy, which is my favorite episode of the show. It has SO many great lines, my favorite being “Momma’s coming, baby! Momma’s coming AND SHE CARES ABOUT YOUR TITTIES!”. It has great bits of dark humor with one of the most fucked up scenes in the show being when the kid unknowingly kills his sister for good. It has great fake outs like the gif you see above this paragraph. It’s just a consistent laugh riot. Throw that in with a great Attack on Titan homage and of course the sexy and sinister voice of Clancy Brown as the main antagonist (has he ever played a hero character in his whole career) and you got a badass entry to the show. Also, much like million ants or the pickle rick vs. rats fight, it features some of the most damn impressive animation in the show between the rollercoaster fight and the tripping balls scene. GOD what a good episode. This is in my top 3 of the whole show for sure.

1. The Ricklantis Mixup/Tales from the Citadel (Episode 7)

Any followers of my blog who have read my article “Why the Ricklantis Mixup should be awarded” could see this coming as the number one spot. But can you blame me?? This episode is a MASTERPIECE, not just by Rick and Morty Standards which are already super high, but for television in general. If you want to know my full thoughts on this episode, go back and read my article about it, because what I would type here doesn’t do it justice. The worldbuilding, the multiple perspectives, the likability of all the characters, the humor, the animation, the personality, the performance of nearly every character by Justin Roiland, the core themes of prejudice and societal norms, the storytelling leading up to THE MOST BADASS TWIST ENDING OF THE WHOLE SHOW. Everything about this episode is simply perfect. It’s mindblowing that this was achieved in 20 minutes. I’ve said before that The Rick’s Must be Crazy is my favorite episode of the show, but that’s in terms of very subjective variables. Objectively, this episode is the most brilliantly constructed and executed. If by some horrible tragedy all but one Rick and Morty episode had to be wiped from existence, to me this is the one that needs to survive.

So yeah. Season 3 was the most hit and miss of the show thus far. But I’d like to reiterate that I don’t think I can call any of these episodes bad. There’s something likable in all of them and it’s still some of the best entertainment you can find today. In spite of how nasty I may have come across earlier in the list, when this show misses, it only misses by a little. When it hits, BY GOD ALMIGHTY does it hit. All I can say to end this post is Season 4 cannot get here soon enough.

#rick and morty #season 3 #rick and morty season 3 #adult swim #cartoon network #cartoonnetvvork #rick sanchez #morty smith #the ricklantis mixup #the rickchurian mortydate #the rickshank redemption #pickle rick #the whirly dirly conspiracy #rest and ricklaxation #rickmancing the stone #vindicators

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will-of-his-own · 8 years ago

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Homesick

Also on AO3 Buy me a Coffee

Ace has been homesick for as long as he can remember.

It's a terrible feeling, being homesick, if you don't know where home is and only know where it is not. It's not here; not in the woods in a house with too many people and a blanket on the floor for a bed. It isn't in the scrap heap, nor is it in the city where people talk about how the king of the pirates got what he deserved. It is not, despite what Grandpa tries to tell him, in a navy barrack somewhere, surrounded by people who would execute him if they could read his blood like a book and see his family tree printed in it.

He begins to think he was born to be homesick; that it is a part of him as much as his blood and his freckles and his anger.

He doesn't know what he's angry at, but at least he always finds plenty of things to hit in response.

He’s usually angry at Grandpa, hates him sometimes, most times, and he wonders if he's capable of love, wonders if Roger was, if Roger’s blood hollowed out his heart before it had its first chance to beat.

He learns he can love when Sabo is gone, when he sees Luffy crying and he clenches his fists, thinking he will kill anything that dares to touch him, that threatens to take the one brother that remains. It's a terrible way to learn that he is capable of this feeling. Leave it to him to learn about the world’s favorite feeling by attaching barbs to it and letting it rip through his chest.

He doesn't love anyone else, he doesn’t think. There is some affection for Dadan, he will admit, privately, and there is a complicated tangle somewhere in his chest for Grandpa, but they are not Sabo and they are not Luffy and if it is love it isn’t the same sort.

He likes Makino. He doesn’t love her, but he likes her, and it’s simple, at least. He likes that she brings him presents and remembers his birthday when even Grandpa forgets sometimes, or else remembers but doesn't come.

A poisonous part of him - most of him is poison - wonders if she would still come if Luffy wasn't there. He will never find out and he will always wonder and he will never want to know.

He doesn't resent Luffy for it though. Luffy, somehow, has hollowed out a sanctuary in the poison and is never touched by the worst of it. The edges brush against him sometimes, but he never seems to notice. Ace is grateful for that. He can't poison Luffy the way he has everything else. He won’t allow himself to.

So he doesn't resent Luffy for the way everyone loves him and is dragged to him as though he’s a magnet, as though he is the center of the world’s gravity. It is not Luffy’s fault, and Ace can't think of anyone who deserves it more, and when he sets off in his little ship to become a pirate he thinks of that and knows that Luffy, when he leaves home in three years, will find a crew to look after him, because Luffy is so hard not to love. It makes it easier to leave, to not worry. He feels bad, debates about it a little, but as much as he loves Luffy, that homesickness is still tugging in his chest and he has to find a way to make it stop before it kills him.

He sets off onto the sea, still unbearably homesick day after day and he doesn't know where he's going, so he sets his sights on Raftel and a crown because sibling rivalry and everyone needs a goal anyway. Then, at least, everyone who hates him will have a reason to.

If Roger was alive, he wonders, would he have loved him? Or would Ace be a disappointment to him too?

You don't take after old Roger much.

It is not a compliment or an insult. Just a statement of fact. Garp always did use to say he took more after his mother, though Ace is pretty sure he just meant his looks. He thinks Pops might mean more. Look on your face when you came in here, I thought you had something important to say. No one had ever simply not cared. Sabo had stopped caring. Luffy has clamped down on his hero worship, and if he still cared he had stopped showing it to Ace.

But they had cared once. Everyone cared, at least for a minute.

Not Pops. And something unwinds from around Ace’s chest, lifts itself off his shoulders, and he can pull more air into his lungs than he ever could before. He hadn’t known breathing could be this easy. The Spade pirates notice the difference. Most of the crew does. Most attribute it to being a commander, say that leadership suits him. The other commanders look at him knowingly and Ace wonders what parts of their pasts Pops forgave and forgot.

He doesn't ask. Their pasts, their blood, it all matters so little out here. They don’t ask either, and it doesn’t feel like they’re hiding secrets from each other; it’s like not asking why the sky is blue or why the ocean is wet. The answers don’t matter, so neither do the questions.

Ace never knew he could love this many people this much. It doesn’t feel like he should be able to keep this much in his chest, and it somehow weighs a thousand pounds and nothing at all at the same time.

Then Thatch is dead in a pool of his own blood and everyone tells him to calm down and he doesn't understand because how could he be calm, how could they be calm? Teach has killed Thatch, has knocked out one of the walls of their home, and maybe Ace can't make him rebuild it, but he can make him pay. His grandfather is a marine. He taught Ace that people have to pay for their crimes. Their definitions of crime are different, they disagree on what sorts of punishments to dole out, but they see eye to eye on the necessity.

And so now Ace is here, at the end, and he is pulling air into his lungs and pushing blood back out, and he is in Luffy’s arms as though he is the big brother.

Its wrong. Luffy is the youngest, should have stayed that way, it's Ace’s job - and his alone - to be the oldest. He promised that, to the ghost of a boy who was shot down while fleeing for freedom.

He's breaking two promises for the price of one. He wonders if Sabo is watching, if he's angry, if he thinks it would have been better for Ace to die and him to live, because he wouldn't have failed Luffy like this.

He wonders if his mother can see him, if she thinks it was worth it to die or if she wishes she had given him to the marines.

He thinks of the children who died while they hunted for him, and wonders if enough of their spirits linger to curse him for living while their potential was snuffed out.

And now he's dying here, in the middle of a sea of corpses that died either to save him or to kill him.

Maybe it's for the best. He doesn't know if he could ever give another order while knowing their captain, their father, died to rescue him. He doesn't know if he could ever sleep again without seeing Oars Jr. collapse, without hearing his comrades scream because dying hurts, he knows that now, he knows what they felt as they fell.

What Sabo felt as he went to the water, all those years ago.

He had wanted to go home, but without Pops, without so many crewmates, with all that guilt, he doesn’t know if it would still have been home, and he thinks the only thing that might be worse than not having a home at all would be to walk into his home and find it had stopped welcoming him.

He would not have forgiven himself, so maybe it's better to die, though he hates himself for thinking it while Luffy begs him to live, begs for a doctor, reminds Ace that he promised.

He shouldn't have promised. What, had he thought himself immortal, capable of declining when Death came to call?

The answer, he knows, is yes. He had been strong, stronger than anything the forest could throw at him, stronger than the pirates in the bay or the criminals in the garbage or the nobles in the town. He had defeated everything he met, again and again, only losing to Sabo, and then only sometimes.

He had thought himself invincible. Luffy had believed it. Ace had allowed him to believe it.

And now he is dying and Luffy is learning Ace isn’t invincible, nothing is, and he is going to be alone, alone, being lonely is more painful than being hurt, and where is Luffy’s crew, why aren’t they with him, how could they have left their captain at a time like this, when he was going to need them more than he ever had before, more than he’s ever needed anyone.

He hopes they’re just waiting somewhere. He hopes Luffy has not lost them, not as he is about to lose his brother too.

He’s leaving Luffy alone. He doesn’t want to, but the only way around it is if he learns how to breathe blood in place of oxygen.

He can hear Vista and Marco shouting somewhere. He thinks he heard Pops roar, but maybe it was an echo, a memory. Everything is blurry and far away, like a fever dream, except for Luffy, who is warm underneath him and Ace can tell he’s bleeding all across Luffy’s clothes.

Luffy’s wearing yellow. He used to wear yellow a lot, but he favors red these days. It’s a shame he’s switched back, Ace thinks distantly. The red wouldn’t show the blood so much.

He wants to tell Luffy it’s not so bad as he thinks. Wants to tell him about how much pain he’s been in his entire life, and how Luffy and Sabo and the Whitebeard pirates took it away, but words don’t cover it, don’t explain it, and he can’t reach into Luffy’s chest and make him feel it, make him feel the way it had seeped into Ace’s bones and made them heavy, made them ache until he wanted to break them to make it stop.

There are not enough words in the world to explain that. He settles for thank you, hoping Luffy will understand, knowing he won’t. Ace doesn’t understand, he just knows that it’s true, knows that it’s right.

As long as Luffy doesn’t think he’s lying. That’s the important thing. Luffy will find a way to forgive himself, to recover from this - he bounces back, he always bounces back - as long as he doesn’t think Ace’s last words are a lie.

Thank you. Thank you for loving me, for keeping me alive because I didn’t know how to do it for myself. Tell my friends, the other part of my family, thank you for the home. Thank you for giving me a place where I could breathe, could sleep, could think about something other than the question of if I deserved to do either of those things.

That was what home was, the one he had spent nearly two decades searching for, and it’s terrible that he can’t keep it, but he had found it, and that would have to be enough. Home was Pops, was Marco, was Vista, Jozu, Izo, the Moby Dick, the Jolly Roger flag that snapped in the wind above their heads.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

A long time ago, a lifetime ago, when he was a child, not yet angry and bitter, all sharp edges and teeth, he had asked someone in Goa kingdom where people went when they died. She had said Heaven, and then he had asked her what Heaven was.

Home, she had said. It’s going home and staying there, forever and ever and ever.

So at least he knows where he’s going this time.

#opfanfic #one piece #Portgas D. Ace #writing #rachel's writing #i made myself sad #but im usually sad about ace so you know

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junker-town · 6 years ago

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The new ‘Last Chance U’ head coach explains ‘football jail’

“I’ll either be at Independence next year, I’ll be at Alabama, or I’ll be fired,” Jason Brown tells us. “It’s probably gonna get ratings.”

“I don’t care if you hate me now. Love me at the end, when you get a scholarship.” When the trailer for Season 3 of Last Chance U was released, one thing became clear: producers had found quite the character in Independence Community College head coach Jason Brown.

The Compton, California, product is a JUCO lifer. He was an All-American quarterback at Compton Community College before finishing at Fort Hays State. Four years after completing his degree, he became the head coach at Compton. After a stint as a high school coach and an assistant at Garden City CC, he took over moribund Independence.

In his first year, Brown engineered a turnaround from 2-8 to 5-4, with the Pirates winning their last four games and drawing LCU’s attention as the show moved on from East Mississippi CC.

[Spoiler alert, since the season captured by the show has already happened in real life.]

In year two, with LCU cameras everywhere, they went 9-2, winning a rugged Kansas Jayhawk Community College Conference (perhaps the deepest conference in JUCO) and beating Northeastern Oklahoma A&M in the Midwest Bowl Classic.

The season began as poorly as possible, with Independence welcoming powerful Iowa Western and falling behind 42-7 at halftime in a loss.

They rebounded, winning seven in a row, often in dramatic fashion. They beat Garden City, Brown’s former employer, 27-23. They survived a trip to Dodge City. They beat Ellsworth CC in overtime. And after a 31-27 loss at Butler, they secured the conference title with a 27-22 home win over Coffeyville.

I recently spoke with Coach Brown. This conversation is edited for clarity and brevity.

BC: First things first: What was the process for Independence getting selected?

JB: They called me, and we were in our December exit meetings with my staff. I say, I got a call from Last Chance U, and I was like, no way in the hell that I’m taking it. I don’t want cameras on me.

My staff didn’t say nothing. They looked crazy, though, and I said, “Does anyone disagree?” I think [they thought] the college’s history, not being very good over a span of time at least until I got here, was a reason I should listen to ‘em.

So we called them back, and for whatever reason, they had heard about me and wanted to see my crazy ass, I don’t know.

BC: What was the biggest surprise in having to deal with those cameras?

JB: You know, we got our butts kicked game one because of the cameras. That’s truly my gut instinct.

Doesn’t matter who we played — we played a great team — but I think we coulda played a high school team and woulda got beat the same way. We just thought that that was supposed to be our night, and everybody was gonna stop what they were doing and bow down to the Indy Pirates.

We played a team that just took it to us and outclassed us, as I told their head coach after the game. I didn’t even get pissed off about it like I usually do. It was just so unbecoming, and it wasn’t our team.

The next morning I had ‘em at practice, and I told ‘em, hey, we’re gonna hit the reset button and start this thing over.

My shoulders got even heavier, with more weight on ‘em, and the pressure became greater because, OK now we’re gonna look like crap on a national TV show, get blown out every game? I knew we were probably as talented or more talented than anyone in the country, but I knew I had to get ‘em gelled together.

BC: Then the rest of the year was like a made-for-TV thing: tons of close wins, a long winning streak, a bowl win.

JB: That was who we were supposed to be.

There’s so much to do here. It was just a place that was down, and we had to revive it and try to create a new standard, create a culture that kinda permeates through the entire student body, and kinda what we’ve done. But this is a five-, six-year process that we’ve done in 24 months. And we shoulda been 8-2, 9-1 in year one, to be honest. We were very close.

And then the rules changed and it became completely unlimited [scholarships and signings], and now it’s kinda fallen into my hands because that’s what I live for — recruiting kids.

So we brought in some great guys, and shoot, we signed 40 guys. Those guys did great all spring, and we’ll have another class like that this year. We’ve got the No. 1 player in the country here, Jermaine Johnson [a four-star DE among the highest-rated 2019 JUCO recruits], and you got a lotta guys like him, too.

We’ve grown faster than I think the town of Independence or the school can go, and it’s kinda took them by shock. I’ve probably ruffled feathers along the way — I can be primitive at times. But it’s a results-oriented business, and last time I checked, they keep score, and you usually either get the kid or you don’t, or you win the game or you don’t, and you either graduate the player or you don’t.

Netflix

BC: Just from the moment people found out you were going to be on Last Chance, was there a bump in recruiting and awareness?

JB: To be honest, no. We beat East Mississippi for some kids when they had the show, and I told our staff, this is not gonna get you kids here. It’s not gonna graduate your players either. Cameras don’t do any of that.

Next year’s when we may see something. I don’t know if East did or not. But when the show comes out, maybe everybody’ll say, “Shoot, I want to go there.”

I don’t think kids care about a lot of that stuff — not the good ones, to be honest. I’m from Compton, California, man. We had a dirt track and people pushing strollers across the field during the game, and I had guys go to the NFL off my team in ‘08.

It’s about the trust factor with the coach and knowing that he’s not selling you a used car. And there’s a character evaluation. Most of these kids come from homes where you’ve been lied to by male figures, and I think I do a good job of explaining our values and wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling them how it’s gonna be.

Then, when they get here, shoot, I got ‘em, man. I tell ‘em when I stop yelling at you, I don’t care anymore.

BC: Right — part of the trailer was you saying something like, “Hate me now, but love me when you get a scholarship.”

JB: Hate me now, love me later.

It’s true, though, man. I gotta teach these kids a lot more than just football. The real world’s gonna hit ‘em in the mouth in 18 months when they leave my place. And if they’re late, they’re gonna end up at McDonald’s and being late there and getting fired.

My job is to get ‘em to the next level. I’ve sent 190 guys to Division I in 17 years, and I’ve never had a kid get kicked out of a four-year. Not one. That’s what I’m most prideful about.

Hopefully I’m harder on them here than they will be at their four-year, and when they get there, they’ve already gone through football jail, so to speak.

That’s what I call this place. I call JUCO “football jail,” and you’ve gotta get out of it.

Netflix

BC: Have you seen any Last Chance U screenings yet, besides the trailer?

JB: I’ve seen a few clips of a few episodes, and to be honest, I haven’t had time. But the clips I saw ... you know, I’ll either be at Independence next year, I’ll be at Alabama, or I’ll be fired. It’s probably gonna get ratings, I guess.

Hopefully the kids can get something good out of it, and I think our kids really portrayed themselves and represented their families and us well.

BC: As this show gains popularity, do live JUCO football games ever become attractive for television?

Especially in our league, I think that a Fox affiliate or someone could take it on and not lose revenue. I think it would help ‘em, and it would help junior colleges.

Junior colleges are kind of in a bad time right now. Half the schools in Arizona folded. Mississippi has 16 schools in a very poor state. They do a great job of managing that many schools, in my opinion.

TV would be great, but I don’t know if it behooves any of those people in that world to air junior college football. And I mean, what day do you do it on?

BC: I was just curious because viewers start to recognize not only East Mississippi but also Co-Lin and some of the other teams they were playing. And if there’s name recognition, you’re more likely to tune in. But yeah, you’d have to have games on Friday, probably.

JB: And you’re competing against high school on Friday, and college football kicks in on Thursday.

Nowadays, there’s football every damn day of the week. All them MAC schools, seems like Toledo or Akron plays on every Tuesday or some crap. But who knows, man, maybe you just live-stream everything and put it on YouTube TV.

Netflix

BC: A lot of people are getting to know how the JUCO process works, but most viewers are fans of four-year schools. So we’re used to the four-year recruiting cycle, where it starts in February and ends in February. For you, when does a recruiting year start and end?

JB: Football recruiting in junior college never ends. That’s our blood-life. When a tackle gets kicked out of Florida State on July 30, we need to go pick him up. We have to show we are the go-getters that have their ear to the ground and turn over rocks.

You always want to bring in the best players, and you want to bring ‘em in 30 deep, if you can. I believe competition breeds winning cultures.

It eliminates a lot of kids doing foolish things, too, because now you can cut Player A, and Player B’s just as good. That’s why we bring in so many numbers, and that’s why we recruit the nation.

We recruit until Day 1 of the season. And we recruit all season long for the next year’s class.

It’s an 18-month school. We don’t have an alma mater, don’t have a fight song. This is not a four-year institution. I don’t get to build these kids for a year, so we don’t teach a lot of Xs and Os. We had 27 Division I transfers last year — 15 Power 5 transfers. I’m not teaching them nothin’, and neither are my 22-year-old coaches. So we teach ‘em how to go to class on time, how to be on time, how to be respectful to a woman, how to be accountable.

And then we run the hell out of ‘em and lift ‘em hard, and we structure a program that’s militant almost. But we love on them and give them our all, and I truly believe if you get 22 of those guys going in the same direction at the same time, they’ll run through a wall for you.

A lot of the guys I have are here for four to six months! They’re transfers, and they just come in, play one season, graduate, and go right back to Division I.

BC: That was leading to my next question — from an X-and-O standpoint, how do you build a system, when you know the pieces are going to be changing so much? What are the tenets of your offense from year to year?

JB: You’ve heard of the KISS method (Keep It Simple, Stupid). Well, I keep it stupid-simple. I’ve done that forever, and it’s all about keeping it simple as possible with our formations, our verbiage, our lingo.

It’s word-oriented. You get a lot of [academic] non-qualifiers here, so you have to realize that numbers aren’t their best strong suit, and we try to stay from numbers. I try to stay away from long verbiage.

Plus, shoot, I’ve probably gone through over 40 coaches or more, and we’ve gotten 11 of them Division I jobs, a couple of guys got Division II jobs, so the turnover rates for coaches are high. My tight ends coach just got a job at Liberty two weeks ago. He’d been here since January, but now he’s gone, so why coach him up on everything?

I’m about as JUCO as JUCO can get. I believe that it’s a rewarding deal, man. I think I can affect more kids’ lives here than anyone at the four-year level can do. I’m turning boys into men, and I’m giving guys a second chance.

We all make mistakes, I don’t think we should be thrown in the fire for making one mistake or two, but you know, you make mistake three and four and haven’t learned from one and two, then I have a problem.

BC: Good luck to you. A lot of people are gonna know your name here pretty shortly.

JB: No doubt! [laughs] Good, bad, or indifferent!

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steves-on-a-plane · 8 years ago

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Han Solo Sews Well

Words: 2013 Pairing: Han Solo x Skywalker!Reader Summary: So this all started because over the weekend I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special with my boyfriend, and I started thinking about Star Wars characters doing really mundane things like buying groceries and sewing holes in their pants and stuff. Then I had this idea that Han Solo would probably be really good at sewing because, well who do you get to repair your clothes when you’re a smuggler wanted in multiple star systems? And then…well it snowballed from there. Reader is Luke Skywalker’s sister who happens to tear her pants in the presence of our favorite sewing smuggler. (Honestly I have no idea what this is, but I know I like it!)

Your first journey aboard the Millennium Falcon had exposed you to the political struggle between the Empire and the Rebel Alliance. While your act in the ordeal had been minute, you had still contributed to the destruction of the Empire’s planet killing weapon; the Death Star. Sure, Luke was technically the one who hit the exhaust port as easily as if it were a womp rat back home, but you were the one who had given him the confidence to do it. The Rebellion had been won over by Luke’s “Heroic” act and asked him to stick around. He agreed to join the Rebellion with one stipulation, that the rebels allow you to stay as well.The Alliance, of course, took no issue with this. (It didn’t hurt one bit that you’d been a part of rescuing one of their highest-ranking strategists, Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan.)

The destruction of the Death Star moved the rebels away from their base on Yavin 4 to a new home base on the icy surface of Hoth. Life on Hoth wasn’t all bad. So what if it was a frigid, snowy, planet where you would die if you went outside at night? You’d wanted to get as far from your sandy home planet as possible. This was as good a place as any. The other major downside to living with the rebellion? The only friends you saw on a regular basis now were the Captain of the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo, and his companion, Chewbacca.

At first Chewie and Han were two of the bristliest life forms you’d ever come in contact with. Now…well they didn’t growl quite as much. They spent most of their time trying to repair the Falcon, which always seemed to be suffering from a broken this or cracked that. Over time you began to suspect Han was deliberately exaggerating his repairs so that he could remain on base longer. This was ridiculous, of course, since no one had told either he or Chewie that they were expected to leave. In fact, they had been invited to stay several times by the Alliance’s Grand Council.

“All done!” You called triumphantly as you stuck your head out of a hatch in one of the Millennium Falcon’s interior walls.

“It’s about time!” Han smirked.

“Well maybe next time you can pilot a bucket of rust with Wookie sized crawl spaces.” You snarled as you started climbing out of the wall. “No offense, Chewie.” You added, lifting your left leg out of the crawl space.

“Oh damn it!” As you clambered your way out of Falcon’s wall, you tore a six-inch hole in the side of your pants.

“What’s the big deal?” Han shrugged. “You can just sew it.”

“Well, I can’t.” You sighed. “I never learned how. Maybe Luke…”

“Luke?” Han snorted. “You’d be waiting a century for him to meditate on which way The Force wants him to thread the needle. Why don’t you just let me do it?”

“You?” You tried not to laugh. “You know how to sew?” You highly doubted a scruffy-looking space pirate like ol’ Han knew how to sew. Or cook. Or do anything domestic come to think of it.

“What? You think this fuzzballs knows how?” He pointed over his shoulder at Chewie, and looked insulted. “Who did you think patches the leather seats in the cockpit?” He raised his eyes brows expectedly.

“Me.” Han declared. He pointed at himself before motioning for you to follow him down the hall. You trailed behind Han through the winding corridor and realized you were heading in the direction of the former cargo hold he’d modified into Captain’s Quarters. When he stepped inside the room you waited respectfully outside.

“What are you doing out there?” He called to you. “Get in here.” You did as he said and stepped inside. You tried not to gawk but it was difficult to do. Han’s room seemed void of any personality. Not that you had expected him to be particularly sentimental, but there were no photos, mementos or signs that anyone lived there. Aside from a cot shoved in one corner there wasn’t much in the way of furnishings. Unless you also wanted to count the overhead lightbulb lazily swinging from its wiring above your head. (Which you didn’t.)

“Well sit down, why don’t you?” He nodded at his bed impatiently before turning his attention to the needle and black thread between his hands. Once that was taken care of, Han knelt by your side.

“Now hold still!” He barked. “The last thing I need is to hear from Luke about how I stabbed ya’ with a needle, alright?” You nodded, craning your neck so you could watch him.

As Han set to work, he put one hand on your thigh so he could hold the fabric of your pants together. His hands were warm. With impressive dexterity, he wove the needle through one layer of fabric, then the next, and back out again. You watched in fascination as he wove the metal instrument back and forth slowly. Each time the needle passed between the layers of your pants you felt the cool of its metal brush against your skin. The combination of Han’s warm hand on your leg mix with the chill of the metal caused you to shiver.

“Everything alright up there?” He mumbled, not looking up nor stopping his work.

“Yeah.” You nodded even though he couldn’t see it. “Just, um, chilly. I’m sure it will Pass.”

“Nah, heating unit’s not great in this part of the ship.” He disagreed. “Chewie and I have been meaning to look into it. It’s on the list. Where’s your coat?”

“In my room.” You guessed, shrugging.

“Well Force, Kid! There’s a blizzard outside every other day here! It’s not the kind of place you want lose your coat on. That’s my coat there at the foot of the bed.” He nodded at a brown pile next to you. “Put that on until I’m done with this. Then we’ll see about finding your coat.” You reached over slowly, careful not to move too much as Han was in the process of tugging his needle out of your pants. The last thing you wanted was for him to stab himself on your account.

You draped Han’s coat over your shoulders, not putting your arms in the sleeves. There was no need for that much extra warmth. You did think about putting on his fur lined hood though since you remembered it being particularly soft. You thought against this too though because again Han’s room wasn’t that cold. All your adjusting caused him to misjudge his stitch. There was a quiet ouch squeaked form your lips.

“I told you to hold, still!” He argued, again not looking up. “I’m almost done now anyhow.” You looked down at where the tear had been to see that Han was about half-way done repairing your pants. The next few minutes passed in silence. You were practically holding your breath to avoid moving. Han just kept quiet, focusing on his work. After a few more moments of this, Han was nearly finished with his sewing. All that was left were maybe two or three stitches.

“Why are you helping me with this?” You asked, tilting your head to the side.

“What?” He looked up at you, his eyebrows knit together, his brown eyes waiting for an explanation.

“I mean anyone else around here asks for help and you just sneer at them. You didn’t even want to take us off Tatooine until Ben promised you all those republic credits! You never do anything that doesn’t somehow benefit you. So, what gives?” You folded your arms over your chest knowing full well it made you look like a child.

“Here’s an idea, kid.” Han huffed. “Maybe don’t piss off the guy with the four-inch needle who could literally sew you into your own pants forever?” He looked back down and wove another stitch into your pants. “I should have just let the farm boy do this.” He complained.

“Let me ask you another question then, since you’re already mad at me.” You said. “Why haven’t you left Hoth? Luke said you’ve been paid as promised. Lea said the Alliance gave you approval to leave weeks ago…”

“Yeah, well if you’ve got all the answers, how come you ask so many questions?” He looked up at you long enough to smirk, before tying off a few knots and severing his remaining strand of thread form your pants. “Pants are fix.” He announced, gently patting your outer leg where the hole had been and rose to his feet. “You’re welcome.” He smirked again.

“T-Thank you.” You said after taking a minute to admire his work. You could hardly tell there had been a rip there at all. It was a job well done. “What do I owe ya?”

“It’s on the house, Kid.” He promised before rolling his eyes. He turned to put away his sewing kit from the crate he’d retrieved it out of.

“Now I really know something is up.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Han Solo doing someone a favor?”

“It was bound to happen at least once.” He shrugged. “Consider it payment for climbing in the walls if it means so much to ya.”

“Are you gonna answer my other questions?” You asked, moving your hands to your hips.

“Is there ever going to be an end to this interrogation?” He groaned. “I did something nice for ya. Can’t you just accept it and move on?”

“No.” You insisted.

“So you’re mad at me for helping you now?” He folded his arms over his own chest now.

“Yes? No! I just want to know why you went from not wanting to help the Rebellion at all, to now you won’t leave. Even though you’ve had permission to leave for weeks.”

“Who says I’ve got a reason!” He snarled. “And you’re the only person that has a problem with me staying! Last I checked, there’s a whole base of people for you to harass! So, go pester some of them.”

“But I don’t want to hang out with any of them. I like being here with you.” You explained.

“Is that so?” He raised his eyebrows, a cheeky grin formed on his lips.

“I mean you and Chewie!” You backpedaled.

“But that’s not what you said.” Han pointed at you, now full on smiling. “Hey it’s alright, kid.” He walked over to where you were still sitting on the bed. He placed his hand on the bed, one on either side of you so the each of his thumbs were just barely brushing against your thighs. “I like having you hanging around too.”

For once that impulsive Skywalker blood that Uncle Owen had always warned you against, had kicked in. You wrapped your arms around Han’s neck and pulled his face closer to yours. It was an awkward kiss, being that it was your first, but Han was an eager teacher. With one hand, he was supporting your back, holding you. The fingers of his other hand brushed their way through your hair, combing the loose strands. He sat on the bed next to you and pulled you onto his lap.

You probably would have stayed there all afternoon, snuggled in Han’s coat with his warm lips pressed against yours, if Chewbacca hadn’t barged in and interrupted with a low growl. Surprised by the sudden sound, you and Han both jumped apart. Han seemed to relax once he realized it was just his best friend. You on the other hand were still uncertain of the Wookie, and decided to watch him cautiously from behind Han’s shoulder.

“Whatja do that for, Furbrain?” Han snarled. Again, Chebacca growled. “What do you mean they can’t find Luke?” Chewie said something else you didn’t understand. “Alright, alright. Tell them we’re coming! C’mon Sweetheart.” Han said, gently tugging you off the bed. “You’re brother’s gone and got himself lost in the middle of a snowstorm!”

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junker-town · 6 years ago

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