#and also the most difficult to translate so far because of that reason

[arminsumi]

I want to kiss you / キスしたい

G. Satoru

NOTE: i recently started learning to write in japanese for not much reason other than to occupy my mind with something new. this little daydream came to me and i can't stop thinking about it, i think falling in love despite a language barrier is one of the purest and sweetest ways to fall in love.

WARNINGS — it might be fem reader idk, kissing 👍, ur married w him at the end, not proofread lol i'm snuggled up in bed ok

Satoru cant speak english and you cant speak japanese; Suguru is the translator friend. You met him online years ago, who knows how. But you hit it off, and four years of friendship rolled by.

Satoru heard all about Y/n and saw you many times when Suguru facetimed or called you. You and him had many cute, playful interactions, ranging from making hearthands at each other to flipping each other off and laughing about it. Sometimes Satoru would be sat off-camera, overloading Suguru with things to translate, because he had a lot to say to you. One time, Suguru left for a few minutes to get a pizza delivery, and then Satoru got very quiet and the two of you blinked at your screens.

"Hi."

"Hi."

And then you two for some reason started laughing with your whole chests, Suguru walked in with a confused smirk. He joked, "Sooo... what did you and Satoru talk about while I was gone?" He asked, gentle accent coming through in soft waves. "The mysteries of the universe." You replied. Satoru was already diving into the pizza box, but he still listened to you speak; he wondered what you had said, maybe you used some fancy words to say that you liked him? He'd be lying if he said he didn't memorize variations of "i like you" after that. He was paranoid that he could miss you saying that you liked him.

You managed a slow, meticulously-pronounced nice to meet you in Japanese when you finally visited Tokyo. It was at the airport. You and Suguru had shared many hugs — good grief, you'd seen height comparisons many times but none painted a real idea of just how big these boys were. But Satoru? He was loudmouthed on a screen and surprisingly shy in person. Eventually he hugged you and didn't let go. He even got so comfy as to hang and cling to your body like you saw him doing with Suguru in countless photos and videos.

Though you could barely pronounce the little Japanese that you picked up, Satoru felt giddy to hear your pretty voice in his language. He listened to you like you were reciting love poetry to him, fists under his chin and eyes starry. But you were just saying basic phrases, boring things — nothing that articulated your thoughts properly.

He was far too embarrassed to try and speak any English when he first met you, even though after developing a crush on you he did start learning some English on the side. He knew quite a bit, but listening was so impossibly difficult it frustrated him like nothing else. He was also self-conscious of his English accent, though Suguru tried to assure him that he sounded very cute and almost oddly British.

So often instead of attempting to speak tiny phrases to you, Satoru threw a lot of hand motions and signals your way which got the two of you and Suguru laughing — poor Sugie, he was always translating even the smallest things you said even if you muttered them under your breath, because Satoru was eager to know every little thought and expression you had, even if you were simply commenting on the weather.

Once you commented that it was so hot, you were visiting during a heatwave-filled summer. Satoru raised his brows at Suguru expectantly, and you heard a familiar translation;

暑い。

It's hot.

There was such a frustrating language barrier between the two of you, it became more evident when you had finally flown over the sea to meet them.

Yet you and satoru fell in love silently and beautifully, your love flowing like a river in the most unexpected directions. You felt his affection emanating from his irises. You and him joked around, and talked — though you had no idea what the other meant most of the time. Sometimes the two of you gave up and you talked in English, he responded with Japanese, and it went on like that very comedically until Suguru came back to bridge the gap.

Lots of time was spent putting your heads together over your phone, reading translations of what you wanted to say to each other.

One day, when Suguru left the two of you alone in his apartment kitchen so that he could hop to the convenience store, Satoru typed something into the translator and let you read it. Your face warmed up.

キスしたい。

I want to kiss you.

He looks at you expectantly.

You type back to him.

Then kiss me.

それからキスして。

He blushed and hesistated, the two of you making electric eye contact for a while before he boyishly pecked your lips to test if you liked his kiss, but oh that's all the two of you needed to realize just how much you liked each other. You melted into each other like your bodies were made for nothing else but to embrace and be one. He shook a little, tentatively gliding his lips over yours. His hands nervously cupped your cheeks. With the way he handled you so carefully, you'd think you were made of porcelain.

Your reciprocation meant everything to him. His confidence flourished. The soft smacking, wet sounds got louder when he kissed you more passionately. Those gentle hands found their way to the back of your neck, and he softly pressed you closer to him as if he was scared you would pull away. What if you changed your mind mid-kiss? He was overthinking and you wouldn't have even guessed it, because you thought he was in the same blissed out dream state as you were. So high on kissing that the world fell away.

The two of you started smiling embarrassedly, grinning so hard that you couldn't continue kissing. Then the two of you just giggled against each other's faces — a subconscious realization swept him; laughter and kissing are their own languages.

Yes as years passed and you visited time and time again, your Japanese improved and his English improved. When you moved to Japan, eventually you adopted a messy mix of Japanese and English with Satoru. He liked showing off how perfectly he could pronounce things, and you liked showing off that you could write very neat kana.

Years and years and years passed and when you and him were married in your own little apartment, starting a life together, a very fluent Satoru reminisced about how the two of you fell in love despite barely speaking to each other.

"It was your eyes for me." You said.

"Oh really? It was your voice for me. I didn't know what you were saying, but it sounded nice." He said.

"Mmm I liked your voice, too." You said, snuggling your head on his shoulder. He basked in the attention, though it was common, it always felt special for him. The smallest hand touches and wrist kisses made his heart lurch.

"Remember when I always nagged Suguru to translate every little thing you said?"

"Yeah, you worked him to the bone." You chuckled.

"I just wanted to know what you were saying. I had such a crush on you, looking back now it was even ridiculous how much I liked you considering the barrier and all."

"Ooh, did you?"

"How is this surprising? We're married??"

"Oh yeah."

[ethereal-night-fairy]

AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED.

This by @ghouljams for some reason made me wonder what the men would be like when sick.

Price: Gets extremely congested and his snoring gets so much worse. He's practically a chainsaw. His sneezes are obnoxiously loud. His only saving grace is Vicks Vapo Rub. You have to rub it on his hairy chest so he can get some sleep. His bedside is also littered with snot filled tissues. Some tea and cough drops would be much appreciated if given. He sucks on them obnoxiously too but you don't mind as long as he's getting better. At least he's not stubbornly working unlike someone else you know. He has the most sense compared to the rest of the men when sick. But that doesn't mean he isn't stubborn when he wants to be.

Simon: He's also congested but tries to play it off as allergies (That man doesn't have allergies). Will not admit he's sick until he's physically unable to move due to the fever. Like he'll have to collapse onto the floor before he admits he has a cold. Will complain about being babied when you push him to lay down but secretly loves it. Likes being tucked into bed and told to rest because he can't say it to himself. Loves chicken soup and would propose to you if you make it for him. Will not admit it but he likes when you pat his head while he's resting. Overall he's difficult to deal with at the start but he's docile when pushed to rest.

Kyle: Suffers from extreme muscle pain when sick. Everything gets aggravated when he gets hit with a fever. He hates moving especially when he's running hot. He's another stubborn man, he'll only rest when things get bad. But is surprisingly willing to go to the doctor straight away when you say so. Would be eternally grateful when you massage his sore muscles and run him a bath to help his blocked sinuses. You'd have to keep his fever low by placing cooling cloths over his forehead. Also some muscle gels would do him wonders. By far the most agreeable when you tell him to do something to help his cold. He takes his medicine on time and he eats the food you give him.

Johnny: The most needy man you'll ever meet when sick. A total baby. Needs constant attention 24/7. Wants blankets, plushies, snacks, you name it he's asking you for it at some point. Is a nightmare when taking meds because he doesn't like the taste or the fact that the pill is too big. He's sticks to you like glue unwilling to let you leave more than 10 mins at a time. WILL COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTHING! Only until he can speak though. His sore throat quickly shuts him up. He needs to hear you talking constantly now that he can't hear his own voice. The constant chatter soothes him. He also thinks handjobs would help sweat out his fever... among a variety of other methods he'd like you to try too.. Worst patient ever!

Masterlist

Dividers by @cafekitsune

Copyright © by ethereal-night-fairy. 2024. All Rights Reserved. Writing not permitted for reposting, transcription, translation or to use with AI technologies.

[captn-trex]

make it feel better

Rex x F!Reader

word count: 4.3k

description: when scouting a new planet, you fall into a bed of flowers that you understand the effects of all too well. Captain rex is the only person around and the only one who can help you.

warnings: NSFW (18+) minors begone! sex pollen/aphrodisiacs, oral (f! recieving), pinv sex, almost voyeurism not really, some reader masturbation, swearing, little bit of praise, non-established relationship

a/n: okay so this is the first ever proper smut I've posted and I'm SCARED. do not judge me pls and thank you <3 I haven't seen any sex pollen with Rex so I thought I'd try my hand at it

The sun was only just clinging to the horizon as you made your way back to the ship, taking a shortcut through the forest. You and Rex had been scouting for a new, and safe, planet to move to, where the small rebellion you were a part of could operate without detection. This one had been uninhabited, and so far proved to be a solid contender. You had come along because of your in depth knowledge of various flora and fauna across the galaxy, and Rex deemed you the most qualified to ascertain whether or not the planet would be suitable. He also enjoyed your company but he wasn’t going to tell you that.

You and Rex had known each other for many years, as you were somewhat of a consultant to the jedi in the war. Your knowledge of different cultures and languages throughout the galaxy proved most useful, and you often became an intermediary between the Republic forces and the primitive beings you encountered. A lot of your time was spent in the field, which was where you met Rex.

The 501st had been part of a relief mission to Abednedo, where you were required for translation purposes. The Abednedo mostly spoke basic, but it was their written language that proved difficult for the Republic to understand, and with you understanding the Republic’s supply logging system, they opted to have you catalogue the supplies rather than teach the Abednedo to use it.

Rex had been uneasy around you initially, with you being someone from outside of the GAR, but he quickly warmed to you when he saw how well you integrated with the rest of his brothers. That was part of the reason that you joined his band of rebels in the first place - you definitely had a soft spot in your heart for the clones, and even more so for Rex.

Your feelings for Rex had grown steadily. Naturally, you found him to be handsome when you first met, his closely cropped blond hair making him stand out among his brothers, but your attraction for him really set in when seeing him on the battlefield, taking down almost a whole wave of droids with only two DC-17s and his own sheer will.

Though that was years ago. Now, you found yourself harbouring deeper feelings for him, feelings you had been reluctant to admit to yourself.

When Rex had found you after the end of the war, sending you a message on your encrypted comm channel, you felt like you had finally hit a stroke of luck. The transition from the Republic to the Empire was turbulent for you, to say the least. The Empire had uses for your intellect, but you had quickly become disillusioned with the whole regime when you realised the deception that they covered up in every corner of their reach. Rex had all but saved you from the Empire, and for that, you’d always be grateful to him.

Meeting him again after the end of the war, when you hadn’t seem him in some time, was like a breath of fresh air. You had never been exceptionally close with him, no closer than you were with any of the other clones at least, but upon seeing his tired and haggard figure on the other side of the hangar, you couldn’t help but speed over to him and embrace him in a tight hug. He had chuckled and returned the embrace, commenting something about ‘understanding the feeling’.

Since then, the dormant feelings you had previously harboured for him only grew. You worked closely with him, spending most of your days by his side in the command centre, helping however you could. It was an inescapable fate that you would fall for him, and now here you were, living out that very fated feeling. You had no indication from the Captain as to whether he felt the same way, and so you kept it close to your chest, electing to not tell him.

Rex had gone back to the ship to comm the others, to say that this planet you were on could be the one, while you had stayed out to investigate a few final things. The water from the natural springs was drinkable, and the small bug you had captured carried no known diseases, and so you were satisfied that this planet would do nicely. You commed Rex and let him know what you were coming back, not waiting for an answer before you switched it off. It didn't really matter whether he heard you or not, you'd be back soon.

It was dark in the forest as you cut through, but it was just bright enough to see where you were going. Mostly.

You found yourself disproved when your foot caught on a tree root and you were sent tumbling forwards with a small yelp. Thankfully, there was a thick bed of flowers that cushioned your fall, so the pain from the impact dissipated quickly. You stood and brushed yourself off, but immediately felt your nose itching, and before you knew it, you were sent into a sneezing fit. You had sneezed at least ten times before you lost count, and you stumbled forwards, resting yourself against a tree when you came to a clearing.

The orange tone of the sky cast a gentle golden light over you as you caught your breath. The sneezing subsided, but as you breathed deeply, you realised that something felt wrong.

You felt your insides burn hot, the heat spreading through your body like a wildfire. An uncomfortable feeling settled in your stomach, but it quickly twisted into a heavy pain. You doubled over, holding your stomach as it cramped up and sent shockwaves through your system.

You dug your hand into one of the pouches on your belt urgently, pulling out the small torch you carried with you. You switched it on and shined it over the bed of flowers that you had just landed in, and inspected their yellow petals and purple centre, your eyes going wide.

Fuck.

You knew exactly what flower these were, you had studied them and their effects in your time at University on Coruscant. You knew exactly what was going to happen to you, and you almost wish you didn't.

Aphrodisiacs.

You dug your heels into the ground in frustration as you threw your head back into the tree, your eyes screwed shut. The burning in your stomach was quickly transforming from a small flame to a full blown bonfire.

Somehow this was typical. This planet was so close to being perfect, and now you had to go and trip into some flowers that would cause you a pain so sensual you'd be driven out of your mind. It had to be you, didn't it?

As you were writhing against the tree, contemplating if you could really get yourself off right here, you heard your name being called and groaned quietly. Why did he have to come looking for you right now?

You tried your best to stay quiet, listening to him calling out to you and hoping that he wouldn't find you, but then he came through the treeline, his eyes finding your struggling form.

“What's wrong?” He darted over to you, at your side in an instant, and you instinctively flinched away from him. His gaze was filled with worry.

You we're clearly in some kind of pain, your skin damp with sweat and a deep blush across your cheeks.

He reached out for you as he called your name, and you moved away again, having to look away from the man that you desired fiercely at any other given moment, but especially this one.

“Rex” You breathed out, trying to keep your voice steady, “Please don't touch me”

“Why?” He asked quickly, “Is it your skin?”

“It's… everywhere, it's not going to go away, It hurts, it hurts so much” You spoke, though you weren't sure your words were even coherent.

“What hurts?” He asked more urgently, trying to get a read on the problem the best he could without touching you.

I can't tell him. I just need to get him away.

“You need to leave. Go back to the ship and wait for me” You pant.

“What? No, let me help you” He knelt down beside you, his hand itching to reach out and comfort you, “What can I do?”

“Nothing. Please go away” You begged, but he didn't understand what was going on at all. For all he knew, you could be asking him to leave you to die here.

“Please let me help you���

You let a small moan escape your lips, one hand stifling it and the other gripping at your clothes to resist from touching yourself right in front of him.

“Rex please go away” You said desperately, your head now in your hands and gripping at your hair to try and distract you.

“I can't! I can't leave you like this, are you crazy?” His voice was so exasperated, and you ground your teeth together as you shook your head in defiance.

“I need you to leave, now. Plea-” You were cut off by your own whimper escaping your lips.

The pain in your core was becoming unbearable. While you knew you couldn't die from this drug, you knew the only solution was to satisfy the intense desire that it gave you, but you would've taken death before pleasuring yourself in front of Rex.

“Cyar'ika let me help you” He said softly, coming closer to you again.

“Please don't call me that” You practically whined, your body acting without permission and splaying out of the floor, twisting back on itself.

“Tell me what's wrong” He ordered firmly, and you felt your desire for him only spiral further.

“The flowers” You exhaled, “They're making me… hot”

“Hot?”

“Yes, hot” You gritted through your teeth, your hand playing with the top button of your trousers. You had to relieve this pain soon before it became worse.

“What can I-”

“Just leave Rex!” You hissed, the pain becoming blinding, “Please leave” You were on the edge of tears, your frustration nearly matching your arousal. You continued begging, different sentence formations that included the words ‘leave’, ‘please’ and ‘Rex’ tumbling from your mouth in a last desperate attempt.

“Cyar'ika” Rex grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up at him, and another whimper escaped you at his touch, “I'm not leaving you”

You whined, “If you don't leave I-” You couldn't finish the sentence.

“You'll what?”

“I need to- you can't be here” You said already unbuttoning your trousers with shaking hands.

“Why not? Cyare you're not making any sense”

You'd were finally at your limit, the pain driving you insane.

“It's an aphrodisiac Rex!” You screamed, hands tightened into fists to hold yourself back.

Rex froze, “Oh”

“Yeah. Oh” You mustered up a desperate chuckle, curling up in a ball on the floor.

“What should I-”

“I don't know. I don't know, you just need to get out of here before I do something I regret” Your words tumbled over each other as you spoke.

He touched your shoulder lightly, and when you moaned at the simple gesture, he understood how bad it really was.

“Rex, leave!” You screamed at him again, your hand finally finding its way past the waistband of your underwear.

Rex immediately averted his eyes, “I'm just going to be over there, I don't want to leave you here like this”

“Whatever! Just do it!” You said, a loud moan escaping you as you fingers found themselves running easily through your slick folds.

Rex quickly moved away from you. The sounds of your moans spilling from your lips were driving him crazy, but he was also overwhelmingly worried about you. He wanted to help you, but he knew that wasn't something he could really do without… well, fucking you. The idea alone was working him up, and the sound of your moans growing more and more frustrated had his cock hardening and pressing into his codpiece uncomfortably.

“It's not working” You cried out and removed your fingers from working your clit to pull your top off, trying to at least ease some of the heat. You were at your wits end, your thoughts all blurred together.

“Rex!” You shouted helplessly, “Please come here!”

Rex ran back over to you in a flash, the sight of your body sprawled out on the floor making his heart beat out of his chest.

“It burns” You choked out, tears spilling from your eyes, “It hurts so much”

“Maybe I could help?” He suggested, letting his emotions get the better of him.

“Help?” You said in a disbelieving laugh, “Are you going to fuck me yourself Rex?”

The silence was so loud.

You looked up at him, standing above you, and his expression was absolutely flat.

“You're serious?” You practically gasped, and he just nodded.

You brought yourself onto your knees and cradled your head in your arms, mumbling under your breath. “Maker, this is so fucked up, I can't believe this is happening. I can’t-”

Rex interrupted your ramblings as he knelt down in front of you, placing his hands on your arms to take them away from your head. You looked up to him desperately, and you could see the pity in his eyes.

“Rex it hurts, it really hurts” You whispered, the pain continuing to burn into you.

“I know” He said soothingly, “I'm going to help you, okay? I'll make it feel better”

You whimpered, your breathing calming just the tiniest bit.

“Is that okay?” He asked, getting a confirmation that this is what you wanted from him.

“Yes” You breathed out, any shame now escaping you, “Please help me”

With that, Rex took you up in his arms, and darted back the short distance to the ship. He set you down on the bunk in the back area and pulled off your trousers and underwear in one swift motion. The sight that greeted him drew a deep groan from within his throat, but he was hesitating.

“Rex please” You begged in a strangled moan, needing to feel him immediately.

“I'm sorry Cyar'ika, I just didn't think it would happen this way” He said honestly.

“Wha-?”

Before you could even ask what he meant, his tongue found its place between your legs. You cried out, the pain in your stomach melting away into pure pleasure. He was eating you out as if it was his last meal, as if he hadn't eaten in weeks. It felt so incredible, and yet, your head still felt foggy, and your pulse was elevated to an unhealthy rate. Even as he worked at your clit, the sensation of him sucking and biting feeling divine, given straight from the maker, you knew it wasn't enough.

“Rex I need-” You began, your words getting caught in your throat.

“Tell me what you need Cyare” He hummed against your pussy, “Anything”

Your hips bucked, “I need more, I need you” You panted.

“I'll need a little bit more than that I'm afraid” He said, and you looked down at him to see the slight teasing smile curling his lips.

“Please don't make me say it” You whined as he licked a stripe from your entrance to your clit.

“Come on Cyar'ika, tell me” He cooed, his hands gripping at your thighs tightly.

“I need your cock! I need you inside me Rex! Please” You finally admitted, and felt Rex hum against your core.

“See that wasn't so hard was it” He rumbled.

He placed a kiss to your clit before he moved away, and you shuddered, feeling the pain begin to twist at your core once more. Rex made short work of his armour, his dexterous fingers working the clasps quickly, his brain on autopilot as he looked down at you writhing beneath him. He then slipped off his blacks and his cock finally sprung free. You moaned as you saw it, throwing your head back onto the bunk and trying not to think about how wrong this was.

“See something you like Mesh’la?” You knew Rex was smirking, you could hear it in his voice. It only drove you more insane.

“Shut up and fuck me Captain” You hissed, which pulled a deep groan from Rex.

He chuckled slightly as he replied, “Yes Ma’am”

He lined himself up with your entrance and looked up to you for confirmation, taking your face in his hand to make you look at him. You could see the question in his eyes, and behind all of your blinding arousal, your heart fluttered at the careful actions of the man you were undoubtedly in love with. You nodded.

“Please” You sounded so pathetic, and Rex brushed his thumb across your cheek tentatively.

“I’ve got you Cyare, don’t worry, I’ll make it better”

He breached you entrance and the moan that escaped your lips was the most sinful sound he had ever heard.

“Oh Rex” You whimpered sadly, and he stopped his movements to check that you were okay.

“What is it?” He rocked his hips back and then forward very gently, earning another moan. “What is it Mesh'la?” He whispered.

“I'm sorry” You whispered

“Why are you sorry?” He frowned, and pushed your hair from your face to get a proper look at you.

The pain burned hot inside you, but you needed to say this.

“You shouldn't have to do this, I'm so sorry”

“Cyare, I can stop if you don't want me to do this, I can let you finish yourself”

“No!” You said quickly, too quickly, “I mean-” You were floundering to find the right words but Rex just pressed a soft kiss to your temple.

“You don't need to say anything” He said gently and pushed deeper inside you, his cock now fully sheathed within you. You moaned gently at the sensation of the stretch, and it was music to his ears, “I'm going to fuck you now, and we can forget about it later okay?”

“Okay” You breathed out unsteadily.

He started to pick up the pace and it was heavenly. The feel of his cock dragging along your walls was divine, and if this was any other time it would have been perfect, but right now, you needed more.

“Rex, please-”

“Tell me Cyar'ika, what do you need?”

The underlying feelings that you already harboured for Rex were spilling into your words before you could stop them.

“Please, I need it harder, faster. Fuck me like you mean it Rex, please”

“Won't be a problem” He said breathily before he began pounding into you, and you could already feel the familiar coil tightening in the pit of your stomach, replacing any pain that once inhabited it. Rex slid his arm around you, arching your back so he could hit the deepest possible spot within you.

“Fuck” You hissed.

“That feel good?” He panted out, and you nodded hastily. Rex tutted slightly, “Use your words Mesh'la, tell me how it feels” He said, dragging his lips across your neck, leaving small markings behind as his teeth nipped at you.

“Fuck Rex, it feels so good. Please don't stop, I need you” You were whispering, as if it were a secret you didn't want to tell.

Rex groaned loudly, burying his face in your neck, “Say it again”

“Which part?” You said letting a small smirk onto your face at his reaction to your words. You knew exactly which ones he wanted to hear.

He looked up at you in disbelief of your teasing at this moment, then pressed his forehead into yours, slowing down his pace and making you whimper at the loss of intensity, “Tell me you need me”

You had no problem saying something as true as that. “I need you Rex, I want you” You emphasised, your eyes burning into his from a mere hairbreadth away.

He groaned, the distinction between the two phrases not lost on him. He quickly resumed his punishing pace, pulling away from you slightly to watch you. You felt the coil pull taught within you, just waiting to snap. You weren’t certain if the drug had something to do with it or not, but you had never been wound up to an orgasm so quickly by anyone else before.

“Stars, just like that” You moaned, eyes closing and head pushing back into the bunk.

“Fuck, look at you” Rex breathed out, “You’re so beautiful taking my cock like this”

The words hit you in the very centre of your being, and without thinking, you grabbed the back of Rex’s neck and pulled him in to your lips. His hips stuttered for one second, but then he was groaning into the kiss, his hips snapping to yours even harder, his fingers holding you down with bruising strength. You didn’t care at all. The idea of having his hands imprinted into your skin only sent you careering towards your orgasm.

“Rex I'm gonna-” You couldn’t even get the words out.

“That's it Mesh'la, let go, cum for me”

His words tipped you over the edge, the coil snapping suddenly and harshly, filling your system with intense pleasure. Rex wasn't far behind.

“Where-”

“Inside, please. I want to feel you Rex” You scraped your nails down the back of his neck as he rode you though your high.

“Kriff, you're going to be the death of me Cyar'ika” He mumbled, hooking his lips with yours as he snapped his hips to your one final time, spilling all of himself inside.

You both took a second to come down from your highs, breathing heavily against each others lips. The more your breath returned to normal, and the burning inside of your limbs subsided, the more the dread crept in.

Rex slid out of you without saying a word, without looking at you. You whimpered slightly at the loss and covered you mouth out of embarrassment. He left the room and your thoughts instantly spiralled out of control.

He’s never going to speak to me again. He’ll never look at me again. I’ve ruined everything. There’s no way we can just move on from this. I’m never going to be able to forget this. He’ll never look at me the same.

A moment later, Rex returned with a damp towel and knelt on the floor, placing a hand on your knee. “Open” He said gently, a kind smile across his lips as he guided your legs open to clean you up. You couldn’t look at him, opting to lay your head back and stare at the ship’s ceiling.

“Rex, I’m so sorry” You said quietly, tears pricking at the edges of your eyes.

“Don't be, I'm just glad I could help you” He replied, as sweet as he always was, and you felt the tears spill, running silently down the sides of your face.

Everything's ruined.

When he finished cleaning you up, Rex noticed your despondent expression and tear stained face and grabbed your hand tentatively.

“What are you thinking Mesh'la?” He asked, his deep voice exceedingly smooth.

“This isn't what I wanted, it shouldn't have been like this” You stared up blankly, blinking hot tears out of your eyes.

Rex's heart started beating faster, “Did I hurt you?”

“No!” You sat up, looking into his eyes, “It's not that it's-”

He brought a hand to cup your cheek and his thumb gently caressed your cheekbone, wiping some tears from under your eye, “It's what?”

You took a deep breath. Now felt like both the right and the wrong moment but you were past caring, your dignity was already laid outside in the bed of flowers that started this whole mess.

“I- I actually like you Rex, I might even love you, and now…” You looked down to your lap, shaking your head, “Now I've ruined everything. I'm just sorry” You buried your face in your hands, feeling ashamed of your actions, even if they weren’t entirely your own.

“Hey, hey” Rex pried your hands away from your face, “Cyar'ika look at me”

You raised your gaze to look into his eyes, your head still angled down as if it would stop the confrontation.

“You haven't ruined anything okay? Its not your fault, I-” He smiled a little, “I like you too, might even love you” He mimicked the way you had said it and your heart stopped.

“You do?” Your eyebrows pinched as you stared into his amber eyes, seeing only admiration and honesty swimming in their depths.

“Yes” He placed his hand on your cheek, “It's like I said, I didn't think it would happen like this”

“Oh, that's what you meant” You said plainly, and he chuckled at your expression.

“Yeah” He said, gently rubbing your thigh, “I'm sorry, I should've told you before all of this happened” He said, some kind of guilt creeping across his features.

“It’s okay” You took his face in your hands, “Thank you Rex, for helping me”

A smirk grew on his face, “Anytime”

[professorlaytonarchive]

THE ORIGINAL DEATHLY MIRROR HAS BEEN FOUND.

This is not a drill. All 6 chapters of MotDM's original version are found and playable through emulation right now, thanks to the brilliant folks over at KeitaiWiki!

Now, remember this is the original version, not the ReMix, and the whole thing is in Japanese (yes, we're working on a translation) - but this is an amazing find for several reasons.

One, of course, is preservation. Having this game accessible and available is a fantastic thing for a multitude of reasons I don't feel the need to explain here.

Two, it's amazing news for our remake, too. There were a few missing pieces that we were not sure what to do about. That worry has been solved entirely, and all of these things can now be incorporated into the remake. Like what, you may ask?

For starters, there's 15 new puzzles that we can now localise and incorporate. Some are a bit more difficult to work with (there's a few based on specific uses of Japanese grammar), but we feel confident we'll be able to deliver fun and interesting interpretations of these new puzzles. For those of you keeping count, yes, that ups the minimum total of new puzzles in our remake to 60.

Another thing we're very happy to have recovered is the minigames, and the diary entries they reward you. There's one minigame in Chapters 1-3, and another in Chapters 4-6, for which we did not have any gameplay, assets, or even rules. While the loss of the second mingame could have been overcome by simply giving the first minigame more levels, the diary entries they reward you would have needed a lot more work and imagination, with our writers having to try to create new entries that would follow the original vision. This is now no longer an issue, and we can bring the original vision for these diary entries into the remake as they are.

On top of that, there were a few characterisations and storylines that were different between the original and the remix, where we would have had to pick the remix version by default, because the back half of the original was missing - this recovery gives us far more wiggle room to combine and reconcile these versions and make this game the most interesting version of itself. (Also, at the back end, having access to the original assets makes our recreation department very, very happy.)

So, all in all, a fantastic morning for the Layton fandom!

And then, what? Well, it might be a bit quiet on the update side of things for the time being, given that our job right now is to translate and localise about a million different things - and that just isn't a super interesting process to be sharing. We may have more to tell you once we've unpacked and analysed the files (we've only just got our hands on them, that's how fast this whole thing has gone), and we definitely have some other fun stuff we're working on that we can't wait to share, but after this massive update (maybe the biggest we'll ever do, because, wow), we'll need some time to work.

So for now, keep on keeping on, keep an eye on this subreddit and our youtube channel, and go check out the incredible work KeitaiWiki is doing. This whole thing, from the beginning, would not have been possible without them. (Seriously - they've been with us since the start of it all.)

Thank you.

-Nordic

from Team Enigma and Team Professor Layton Archive

[loud-n]

What's up with Roshar's Money and Why is Sapphire so Valuable

I recently started my reread of Stormlight Archive to prepare for book 5, and coincidentally, this happened at roughly the same time the cosmere rpg started kickstarting. So, reading TWoK and the beta rules of the rpg at the same time, a few things happened to come together. For one, the rpg had this table:

I thought this was very interesting. I hadn't ever seen anything like this (though, checking coppermind, a similar chart has been available since an interview in 2018 that I wasn't aware of). It's a nice way for me to contextualize just how much money Shallan throws around at the beginning of TWoK (for example, based on remarks from Yalb in chapter 3, we know that a week's wages for a sailor is roughly one ruby mark/firemark, or 10 diamond marks/clearmarks), and while it seems like it might be simplified for gameplay purposes, it's also broadly consistent with the other sources.

So I kept reading until I got to this line:

"Emeralds were the most valuable, for they could be used by soulcasters to create food." (The Way of Kings ch. 3, pg. 72 on the trade paperback)

This line lays out explicitly that the soulcasting traits of a gem are the primary way (or at least a very significant one) that these values were assigned. This makes a lot of sense: the ability to soulcast food is the key component that allows Roshar the kind of military structures it has, and would provide an extremely valuable way to compensate for issues with harvests that might come with Roshar's 'temperamental' weather patterns.

(some major oathbringer spoilers below the cut)

I then wanted to know how this translates to the other types of gem. Many of these make a lot of sense: amethyst can be used to soulcast metal, which is important and difficult to obtain on roshar (coppermind notes that this may also be the only way to get aluminum on Roshar); ruby, smokestone, and zircon are all used as part of infrastructure for food preparation and waste management (and rubies seem especially common in the fabrials we've seen); garnet, heliodor, and topaz all provide less vital (though still useful) and less valuable materials; and diamond can be used to soulcast quartz, glass, and crystal, none of which are particularly valuable (especially given easy access to even light with stormlight and danger from highstorms making windows difficult and less valuable).

However, one gem caught my eye here.

Why is sapphire so valuable?

Sapphire's soulcasting can produce translucent gas or air, which seems a bit redundant with smokestone, a stone we know is regularly used. To my knowledge, we don't see any characters ever use soulcasting powered by a sapphire (please correct me if I'm wrong, I may be forgetting or confusing an instance with smokestone). So unless there's something we're missing or something to come, it doesn't seem like sapphire's value is because it is especially useful in soulcasting.

If this isn't the case, I can think of three possible explanations for why sapphire is worth so much:

Sapphire is less common. We know that obtaining emerald is a major part of the Rosharan economy and a significant reason for the continued occupation of the shattered plains at the start of the series. This might also be the case for sapphire: greatshells with sapphire gemhearts may be less common or more difficult to farm, making sapphire more scarce and thus more valuable.

Sapphire is especially useful in fabrials. So far, we've only seen one fabrial using sapphire that I can remember: the soul-harvesting dagger used to kill Jezrien (Oathbringer ch. 121). Even this may not be a specific trait of all sapphires, but rather due to the fact that sapphires are associated with Jezrien and the windrunners. I think it's possible and maybe even likely that sapphires are the gems used in half-shards, since none of the examples ever specify what gem is used and Taravangian states that the spren within could have graced a knight radiant (Oathbringer ch. 100) - possibly an honorspren trapped within a sapphire. This may also have been Taravangian lying, though.

The value is somehow associated with Jezrien and the Windrunners. This one seems the most far-fetched to me: at the start of the series, the knights radiant are not viewed especially fondly, and I doubt the Windrunners would have enough staying power to change the value of a gem. The idea that it may be association with Jezrien seems to me to have more merit; Jezrien seems to generally be elevated to a point beyond the other heralds.

Based on the information we have, I think that my second proposal has the highest chance of being at least partially correct. Association with Jezrien seems far-fetched, sapphire being especially scarce seems like something too far off course to get significant confirmation of in-text, and fabrials are one of the elements of the world still being developed in universe that we also don't have a lot of extra information about.

If any of this is going to be answered, I honestly think it might come through the rpg: the first wave of releases will include a world guide with canon information that might shed some light on these elements less important to the actual story, and the rules will also detail a lot of information about fabrials that could answer my questions about half-shards. Until then, though, I'm just going to have to sit here and wonder (and keep a special eye out for mentions of sapphire on my reread for anything I missed).

[etirabys]

Apologies if this is personal and you don't want to answer (or you don't want to answer for any other reason!); if that is the case no worries. But anyway by virtue of the fact that I am (sort of) a linguist I often get curious about people's language situation. You speak English obviously but spent your childhood in Korea, and often went to the English language book store while there? What is like, your personal linguistic history? Like, what language(s) did you grow up speaking, which ones did you learn later and when, etc? How fluent do you consider yourself in both English and Korean? If you don't mind my asking.

Haha, this is a dream scenario for me (someone asking about a situation I find fascinating about myself because I've never met anyone else with that background, but is probably boring to most people). Here's a longer story than you probably want:

My parents emigrated to the US before I was born, stayed for a decade, and moved back to Korea right after I was born. They're conversational in English, and my sister (12 years my elder) is fluent. Speaking English is valuable in Korea, so they raised me to be bilingual. They taught me the alphabet, bought me English language children's books, and sent me to an English language school run by Christian missionaries for preschool, kindergarten, and part of first grade.

My sister left the country when I was three to go to a boarding school in the US, but she came back every year for holidays, spoke exclusively in English to me, and refused to let the conversation move on if I mispronounced a word.

When I was six, my parents moved further away from the missionaries' school and switched me to a neighborhood public elementary school. At this point I was mildly more fluent in English than in Korean. Reading (English books) was a self-sustaining reaction I spent every free hour on. There were fewer interesting Korean books for children. Korea had industrialized ~30 years prior, and the hangeul writing system had only been in full use ~50 years at that point. As far as I knew, there was no CS Lewis of Korea, no Tolkien, no Diana Wynne Jones. In Korean bookstores, many of the prominent books on display were translated – The Little Prince was popular for children, and there was a children's fiction fad around another French author (who afaik never made a splash in the States) whose name I forget.

So I'm reading like 10 hours a day, at the dinner table, on the escalator when my mom takes me while she's shopping, sometimes under the desk at school flipping the pages with my toes, because the teachers don't care. (This is a huge W as far as I'm concerned for Korea – public school teaching is a somewhat competitive and standardized government job, it attracts people who lack great passion for either teaching or controlling children.) Meanwhile my peers don't like me much because my vibes are rancid: I have a compulsive laugh tic I haven't gotten under control, and I don't seem to understand their preferences very well or actively seek to understand them. Fair enough. I have one friend at any given time and she's usually on the fence about me.

When I'm old enough to take the train on my own, some weekends my mom gives me 5000 won for the train ticket + lunch, and I go into Seoul to visit one bookstore that has a 10-shelf English section. I pick a book, spend the day finishing it, and go home. Instead of my English language skills lapsing and being overtaken by the language I'm immersed in, I'm going deeper into English. Which increased the disconnect between me and my peers. I remember overhearing a conversation about an anime (The Black Cat) and eagerly asking if they'd also read the Edgar Allen Poe short story. I wanted to much to talk about shared interests, but it didn't occur to me to "invite myself into their interests" by picking up the manga they talked about.

...this all made my childhood weird in ways that have shaped me hugely but are difficult to describe. I was isolated and not, happy and not, stimulated and not, developing unevenly...

At eleven I discover fanfiction.net, probably one of the most impactful events of my life. I'm running out of physical books, I've read everything five or ten times, but then the computer! has made a deal with me! It contains INFINITE LITERATURE, although sometimes people seemed to misspell things on purpose and I didn't know why. (I had, approximately, never encountered misspellings in written material before.) In return the internet would take MY SOUL FOREVER although I didn't realize this at the time. I post a 100K Harry Potter epic over the next year where Harry is trained by a special assassin cult that lives under a mountain.

My parents have no idea what is on the internet. They're on a new temporal continent with no clue there's a parasite that can turn your daughter into a fujoshi. They do know that they have a worrying child. But! Her grades are really good, especially when she's testing in English. Good enough that although they originally intended not to send me to the US (my sister got depressed and burned out, and they attributed it to sending her to a different country for school), it made much more sense for me to go. I was on track to get a full ride at an Ivy, a carrot they were Not Immune to, and I obviously despised Korea and wanted to leave.

When I arrived in the States, I was terrified of speaking English to real native speakers. My language experience was "reading/writing: 95% English, speaking/listening: 90% Korean". I could perfectly pronounce any English sentence when I tried, but I'd occasionally and bizarrely mix up R and L, or the vowel sounds "ih" and "eeh" if I weren't paying attention. This went away after a year but I felt extra shy and didn't talk much. I'd guess 80% of my social cachet in freshman year came from writing funny Facebook posts.

I remember my time in Korea without feeling bothered by any single aspect, but overall I still have a big sense of "wow I didn't like that", have avoided non-Americanized Korean people since getting here (ten years ago), and now speak Korean haltingly. I'll try to teach it to my children so that they have the option of that cultural connection, but I don't think I can do a good job. It's feels 90% true thinking/speaking Korean is just a normal skill, a thing I do sometimes on the phone – and 10% true that the happier and more whole I become in the US, the more unsettling it feels to speak Korean at all.

[gingermintpepper]

hi, i haven't read the iliad and the odyssey but want to - do u have a specific translation you recommend? the emily wilson one has been going around bc, y'know, first female translator of the iliad and odyssey into english, but i was wondering on if you had Thoughts

Hi anon! Sorry for the somewhat late response and I'm glad you trust me with recommendations! Full, disclosure, I am somewhat of a traditionalist when it comes to translations of the source text of the Iliad + Odyssey combo wombo, which means I tend to prefer closeness in literal verbiage over interpretation of the poetic form of these epics - for that reason, my personal preferred versions of the Odyssey and Iliad both are Robert Fitzgerald's. Because both of these translations (and his Aeneid!) were done some 50+ years ago (63 for his original Odyssey tl, 50 flat for his Iliad and 40 for his Aeneid) the English itself can be a bit difficult to read and the syntax can get confusing in a lot of places, so despite my personal preferences, I wouldn't recommend it for someone who is looking to experience the Iliad + Odyssey for the very first time.

For an absolute beginner, someone who has tried to read one or both of these epics but couldn't get into it or someone who has a lot of difficulty with concentrating on poetry or long, winding bits of prose, I fully and wholeheartedly recommend Wilson's translation! See, the genius of Emily Wilson's Iliad + Odyssey isn't that she's a woman who's translated these classics, it's that she's a poet who's adapted the greek traditional poetic form of dactylic hexameter into the english traditional poetic form of iambic pentameter. That alone goes a very very long way to making these poems feel more digestible and approachable - iambic pentameter is simply extremely comfortable and natural for native english speakers' brains and the general briskness of her verbiage helps a lot in getting through a lot of the problem books that people usually drop the Iliad or Odyssey in like Book 2 of the Iliad or Book 4 of the Odyssey. I think it's a wonderful starting point that allows people to familiarise themselves with the source text before deciding if they want to dig deeper - personally, researching Wilson's translation choices alone is a massive rabbit hole that is worth getting into LOL.

The happy medium between Fitzgerald's somewhat archaic but precise syntax and Wilson's comfortable meter but occasionally less detailled account is Robert Fagles' Iliad + Odyssey. Now, full disclosure, I detest how Fagles handles epithets in both of his versions, I think they're far too subtle which is something he himself has talked at length about in his translation notes, but for everything else - I'd consider his translations the most well rounded of english adaptations of this text in recent memory. They're accurate but written in plain English, they're descriptive and detailled without sacrificing a comfortable meter and, perhaps most importantly, they're very accessible for native english speaking audiences to approach and interact with. I've annotated my Fagles' volumes of these books to heaven and back because I'm deeply interested in a lot of the translation decisions made, but I also have to specifically compliment his ability to capture nuance in the characters' of these poems in a way I don't often see. He managed to adapt the ambivalence of ancient greek morality in a way I scarcely see and that probably has a hand in why I keep coming back to his translations.

Now, I know this wasn't much of a direct recommendation but as I do not know you personally, dear anon, I can't much make a direct recommendation to a version that would best appeal to your style of reading. Ideally, I'd recommend that you read and enjoy all three! But, presuming that you are a normal person, I suggest picking which one is most applicable for you. I hope this helps! 🥰

[alwayshappyhoursomewhere]

2024.03.10 FSTV | Shoma Uno interview before Worlds 2024 (x) Did a translation for this because it was a pretty in-depth interview and a good window into Shoma's mindset going into Worlds

[The interviewer asks Shoma about the possibility of getting another World title] Shoma: I know that in terms of ability I'm no longer at the top, since there's Malinin. I don't really have the feeling that I'm going to win three championships in a row. To be honest, my mindset and feeling has changed, in that I feel I'm no longer in the position of defending my title, but rather that I'm in the challenger position. When it comes to me as a skater, there are parts that are not very athlete-like, but I have also the fighting spirit and the determination that I've had from long ago. I have very clear boundaries, and I have a strong determination not to compromise on what I think is essential, and a sense of what I cannot give up on. I really understand what you are saying [t/n: I think he is referencing the interviewer's question]. I think the reason why I have come this far is because there are parts I have to give up on and parts that I absolutely don't want to give up. I don't know what everyone's expectations for me are, but well, anything is ok. For example, regardless of whether people expect results or the quality of the content, I am truly grateful to the people in my life, the people who have allowed me to skate until now and who have motivated me. I want to live each day to the fullest for the sake of those who have shown me kindness. When it comes to competition results, there are bad times and there are good times. Of course, it's a world where we are told that results are everything, but that's just the public opinion, and none of the people around me who put me first think that results are everything. Of course, if the results are good, everyone will be happy. I wonder what is best... is the most important thing to be evaluated by others ? Or is it that you yourself are satisfied? But then I also think about the fact that in the current situation, I can feel satisfied with myself because I am being evaluated by others. I have been thinking about it, and my first priority is to satisfy myself, and then I want to cherish the people who are closest to me and who support me. After clearing that up in my mind, what are the results that Stephane, who is the person closest to me in skating, wishes for? I was wondering if I had reached better results, better scores, better performance and content, and a better process of getting there. So when it comes to skating, that's what I want to prioritize the most right now. Judging and results are really sensitive and difficult aspects, and it's hard to evaluate whether expressivity is good or bad [t/n: probably he means in terms of actual competition scores]. I was thinking about it a lot, and the more I thought about it the more I got confused, so I decided to just 'cherish what is important to me'. That's how I feel now.

[dilfs-bitch]

Again | Jake Sully (nsfw)

Pairing : Jake Sully X Recom female reader ( human before )

Warnings : Mention of coronel Miles Quaritch, Neytiri, Tsu'tey. mention of death, cheating, age gap { Reader in her early twenties, Jake in his late thirties } p in v sex { Reader is virgin } masturbation { fem receiving } mentions of angst (not too graphic, but a warning all the same!

Word acount : 6k

Summary : After you die, Jake never thought he’d see you again, but after fifteen years, the RDA brings " you " back.

I apologize in advance if there are grammatical errors. English is not my first language, and I wrote this with the help of the translator.

Chapter two

Jake was going crazy.

It was no longer a secret to the clan or Neytiri how close he was to you in recent months, and part of him didn’t care to hide it.

Not after fifteen years away from you, he would never forgive himself, no matter how hard he tried, that feeling that he’d done something wrong was there every time he remembered your face, that lifeless face that haunted him for years.

He met you still on earth, despite you being much younger than him, you two used to hook up and even though you two never had a serious relationship, it was much more than just sex. And then everything happened so fast, his twin brother dies on the same planet you’re also going to, then he has no other option besides accepting the invitation that was extended to him. 

You were the Colonel’s squad and do what he told you to do, while Jake was in the Avatar program trying to learn more about the Na'vis, not even he realized how it happened but you two grown apart and even though he would never admit, he knew that Neytiri was the reason. 

So you take orders and don’t think twice about destroying the Hometree, he never understood but also can’t blame you. You were never the most civilized person he knew, but you certainly didn’t have a bad heart, so all your emotionlessness about the lives you took away was some kind of punishment for him. 

He tried, eywa knows he tried to change your mind, but you’ve always been stubborn and now that Quaritch had manipulated you, he knew there was no turning back, but Jake still wanted to know why you were doing this, and he never was able to forget the anger, the pain in your eyes, the betrayal in your voice when you say that was because he was able to betray his own race, betray the woman he said he loved for a Na'vi he met months ago. On that day, Jake didn’t have much time to argue because you’d been hit in the chest by Neytiri’s sharp arrow.

He couldn’t hate her because all she was doing was protecting her people, her planet, but there's a part of him that would never forgive her for killing you, the woman he was in love with.

Moving on was difficult, he was grief for your death, being haunted by your lifeless face and all the memories you two had together, but Neytiri was there, so thoughtful to him that it did not take long for that attraction to become something more, then they mated she was now his mate and Jake becomes the Olo'eyktan of the clan, bonds have been forged in fire and blood and years pass, he’s smarter, older and has a family now, but he wasn’t expecting the RDA goes so far creating recombinants with DNA from the deceased soldiers, Quaritch, and his squad was back but at this time he was more concerned about you, years later as recom.

He wondered if you’d remember him, Jake desperately wanted to know if you still would feel something when you saw him, despite being older, certainly not attractive as before, unlike you who despite your avatar features looked exactly like your human form, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Eywa never makes mistakes. Maybe that’s why you were taken to his hut with a big arm wound caused by Tsu'Tey’s arrow, he wouldn’t let another demon like you destroy his home, but he changes his mind when the ancient spirits surround you. Abusing his authority, the Olo'eyktan decides that you stay to learn more then you can go, Jake was not even thinking that letting you stay was risky, the RDA would look for you, but he can not avoid wanting to be near you even if you're avoiding him, even though some people of the clan was commenting or how their children asked why he spent so much time with you, Jake was not even caring about his mate’s jealousy, he loved Neytiri and that wasn’t a secret, but he loved you much more.

_________________

You were no longer yourself but still had the memories of your old self, and the same regret was there for the destruction that had caused to Pandora. 

Maybe it was a new feeling, or it was the old memories that clouded your mind every time you observe Jake, he looked different, older, yet attractive, but the anger was there maybe caused by the memories of how the feelings he said he had for you meant nothing, the anger was also there for Neytiri, this was not a memory but a video that the General Ardmore showed you at the time of your death and perhaps the worst part was that the man who claimed to love you was with her leaving your lifeless body for the RDA.

Revenge is the only reason you decide to stay, but the real, ultimate indignity of it all is that was those old memories that seemed to betray you or Pandora’s breathtaking beauty, but it didn’t seem fair to destroy the planet once again, any part of you wanted to hurt Jake Sully or is it some kind of illness, an infection that has taken hold you, perhaps it was those ancient spirits that surrounded you in the Omaticaya forest that have bewitched you, any option no matter how stupid it seems was better than admitting that once again you are being betrayed by your own feelings.

“ Utral Aymokriyä, is the tree of voices, if you connect your queue here we can hear the voices of our ancestors "

You close your eyes as your tail coiled tightly low around your leg, trying to refrain from the wave of anger that runs through your body as you hear the Olo'eyktan’s voice, his interest in showing you some more of life in Pandora infuriating you. Annoyed you how he made sure to teach you bow and arrow, he always wanted to be the one to teach you more of the tradition of the Omaticaya clan, and you didn’t like being around the Sully and even less how his voice sounded every time he taught you something like he was happy to be teaching you more about their customs, not even your fiercest scowl seem to discourage his attempts to converse with you.

And even though that was one of the most beautiful places that you had already seen, it didn’t feel right to be in a sacred place, not after all you do to Pandora.

" Are you okay ? " He slowly approaches and reaches out to touch your shoulder.

The feeling of his hand makes you open your eyes, quickly hissing and moving away. Jake is at least startled that was the first time you hissed at him, a bold move considering he was now the Olo'eyktan of the clan, but he walks away feeling your anger and not wanting to start the argument he’s been avoiding for months.

" Don’t touch me " You say, staring at him with furrowed eyebrow

You don't quite understand the reason for the reaction, although you don't regret it, preferring to believe it was just the pent-up anger that happened years ago. Your heart leaps at the thought that the real reason for your overreaction is that you missed his touch and not know how to react to it. You want to get out of there, you want to move your feet and get out of that tension that quickly built up ten times worse than before, you want to escape his gaze on your neck like a weight but you can't.

Jake eyed you carefully, his mind clouding with one of the memories of you two together just when they arrived in Pandora, he didn’t remember pretty well the reason but you were jealous, a wide smile on his face remembering that you did exactly what you did now, and Instinctively he found himself making the same move he did that night holding your hand still much smaller than his own, he expects you to do exactly what you did that night but you keep standing there because your body is betraying you, and you don't really want move away from his touch which him take as encouragement, stepping closer behind you.

Jake just stands there his chest pressed against your back while he stayed there waiting for you to calm down, he doesn’t know what to do, but when he realizes Jake’s already nesting his nose against your soft hair, his heart thump against his rib cage and something in his lower belly leap you still smell so good that he is almost purring with the familiar scent, one of his ears tremble, and his tail coiled under your ankle

He cursed himself when your body leaps turning away from him turning to stare at him with the same angry gaze as before your furrowed brows, embarrassed now Jake feels his ears flatten back as he expects you to insult him as you did in all the other times he dared to try to touch you, and yet you remain quiet and Jake swears he can see how your gaze looks a little different now but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t decipher. 

"Stop, stop doing that, " You say poking his large chest with your index finger causing him to lurches back " That’s wrong, you have family, a mate. " 

He tilts his head to the side as if he's trying to figure out what you’re just saying and then something clicks in his mind, you realized what he was doing from the beginning even though it was Instinctively, Jake was trying to make you his mate.

He made sure to teach you personally everything about the clan, and he was not hard on you as he was with the others, Jake even let you speak as you wanted with him. He never stopped loving you but he never thought you realized his true intentions, he never thought that would work, that it that gaze so different was because you wanted him too, maybe not as your mate but you wanted him and your annoyance was obvious cause you to disapprove his actions and he also but couldn’t help himself. He loved you more than his mate, he wanted you to be the mother of his children, Jake wanted to change your mind that day because it would save him years of suffering for you. 

He doesn’t notice what he’s doing until he walks up to you holding your face tight stopping you from moving, your heavy breathing as your eye focusing on anything behind him, so you don’t have to look into his eyes, would be too much when you tried for months not to fall in love with him again.

" I wanted to say I’m sorry for betraying my own race but I don’t, my only regret was betraying you, letting you die. Maybe I’ll regret later for doing what I’m gonna do now but I’m not thinking very well, I don’t think clearly since I saw you, the woman loves most in all my life"

Your tail lashes, the irrational part of you content to hear what Jake says. It feels like a weight is lifted off your shoulder, your heart lurches as he leans forward to rest his forehead on yours, and Instinctively you close your eyes, feeling the positively scorching soft touch of his finger caressing against the skin of your cheeks, your stomach gives a kind of nervous tremor at the thought of why he is doing it, your brain almost stops completely when he leans press a kiss on your lips.  

For a split seconds, Jake panics when you don’t kiss him back, and he pulls back only to be surprised by your smaller hands wrapping around his waist as you insistently kiss his lips, nibbling lightly, and he hums and purrs against your mouth. It’s frantic, passionate, and overwhelming, and your eyes practically roll when you allow him to kiss you with his tongue. 

When one of his big hands falls from your face to the bottom of your thighs and envelops the tender flesh there pulling you up, you release a kind of gasping embarrassing moan against his mouth as your leg winds against his waist, It seems the apex of all his hopes and desperate dreams over the past few months, and Jake can't hardly believe that he’s kissing and touching you like that after all these years, it feels like a dream. 

It doesn’t take long for you to feel the soft bioluminescence moss of the ground against your back, cursed yourself when he pulls back, and you chase his lips, Jake just chuckles, lowering his head to kiss your neck, humming with satisfaction when you tilt your head to the side enough so that he sucks the skin there, your eyes widen in shock because you don't know how to react with the new feeling that shivers your whole body. He pulls back, hovering over you, his pupils are blown wide, his tail caressing provocatively your legs. When he holds your hips tight, forcing his growing length under his loincloth against your open legs, you gasp on how big he is and once again he just chuckles resting his head against your sternum pulling the fabric of your white tank top down.

His tongue is gentle, sliding from your breast over one of your nipple, sucking and circulating his warm tongue there, you arch your back allowing him to do because the feeling is so good that you groan his name, his amber eyes shoot to glance your face of pleasure your body squirm beneath him and Jake tongue goes out to lick your other nipple. You were so beautiful, furrowed eyebrows, mouth slightly open, that drop of sweat that was already beginning to form on your forehead.

" I’ll make you feel good, ma tìyawn "

The sound of Jake's low voice goes directly to your cunt that pulses eagerly with promise and with the affectionate nickname of his voice, a smug smile grows on his face when he realizes it is your scent that lingers in the air tells him how much you like it, and he does it again just to feel your sex throb as he rubs on you.

" You like it when I call you ma tìyawn, don’t you? He whispers, burying his face in your neck, " I feel it "

Even though he’s not seeing anything all you can do is nodded quickly, your cunt clenching around nothing once again hearing his words, your throbbing clit the sodden fabric of its slick folds starts to become a little uncomfortable, so you push his hips with your knee so that he moves away taking his hand up to your cargo pants hoping that he does something and Jake's quick to quickly grope the button to unzip the pants pulling them over your ankle. Your legs close in the failed attempt to avoid his lust gaze but a pair of his strong hands effortlessly keep them apart, that makes you a little embarrassed, slight flushing spreading down your cheeks

" Don’t hide Y/n, I want to see, " he says, a smile playing on his lips as his fingers search for your neglected clit.

You let out a soft sigh as his fingers circled your clit, and he leaned once again your small hands holding his face, kissing him again. Your lips moved against him slowly with more delicacy than before, the burning sensation in his abdomen consuming him, your hands exploring his back down to his waist when you undid the ties of his loincloth releasing his hard cock the leaking tip with pre-cum, Jake is quick to move his fingers to your entrance pushing one finger stretching you out, and you break the kiss choking with burning a little pain there, nothing had entered there before. Your ears have now flattened once again when he stops noticing the discomfort on your face.

" I’m sorry ma tìyawn, I didn’t know " He kisses your temple. 

It only takes a few minutes for the pain to disappear, and you jerk your hips, and he quickly understands what to do, Jake focused his thumb on your clit slowly slides two fingers, splitting you open to what was to come. When he felt you adjusting to him, he started fucking you with his fingers, pumping in and out of your wet center, the already overwhelming sensation that your cunt clenching around his fingers your mouth open in a silent moan when he sucks your nipples and grind his cock against your thigh. The pleasure becomes almost too much, grabbing his biceps for some kind of comfort and his muscles flexing over your soft touch, and that makes the coil in his stomach tenser with the simple touch of your hands.

But then he draws his fingers away from your entrance, looking deep into your eyes waiting for any kind of doubt but all Jake finds are the aroused lust and what he swears to be the same gaze that you has when you looked at him when you were in love, your eyes soften guiding his painfully hard cock to your entrance, pushing the tip in. With your hot and wet sex engulfing him, he realizes that stretching hurts when your eyes water, Jake is quick to kiss you to give you some kind of comfort, you’re sucking him greedily anyway, panting with the feeling of being filled, and when he finally got to the bottom, his tight balls rested against your ass and the tip in of his cock poked you cervix, making a needy moan come out of your mouth when you break the kiss with a string of drool.

" Please Jake " a whine came out from you.

He moans, needing no more incentive than that starting to come out of you, before pushing back and setting a slow pace immediately, his big hands grab your thighs, and you circle your legs around his hips getting a better angle, your tits swaying when his hips meet yours, his cock reaching even deeper inside you and your hands were desperately grabbing his back needing something to hold on to, and it hit him like a wave, the most intense feeling he’s ever experienced years ago has filled his body again, his heart, his head, is everywhere, it was not the bond of tsaheylu, but Jake could say it seemed way much more intimate than that just from you heavily gaze into his eyes he knew that you could feel his love, the regret, the need he had for you and the pain he endured in the last years. 

" I like you Jake " You murmured, holding his back tighter.

The captivating sound of your voice matching what you just said made his heart skip in a beat. The feeling was overwhelming, he could never have denied his feelings towards you, his cock pounding in your tight cunt without stopping and a slight change in the angle made the tip of his cock hit that spongy spot inside you all the time, making you say his name as a prayer, your euphoria starting to form in the inside lower part of your stomach.

" I love you so much ma tìyawn " he gasped in your sensitive ear, making the two squirm at the confession.

He could feel he was near but he wanted you two to came together, his finger circling your clit rudely and his hips stuttering against yours is enough, your walls clinging so tightly that he only manages to bury deeper into you with one last thrust causes your vision to darken and his muscles to relax when your body trembles beneath him, when Jake groans your name tirelessly and fills you with his sperm hot and thick. His breath is heavily, and he buries his face into your neck, kissing there, enjoying the warmth of their sweaty and overworked bodies before rolling off over you with his slowly dripping sperm.

He lay in his back, now pressed against the soft moss of the forest, your eyes closing and Jake smiles pleased as you seem exhausted completely, he pulls his arms over your shoulder pulling you closer, and you are quick to nest your face against his chest, still bright. Your tail curling over his ankle when you fall asleep. And for a moment he doesn't know exactly what to do, so he decides to rest a little and then in the morning would handle the situation.

[anarchotahdigism]

I know i say "wear a mask and riot" and "fuck a peaceful protest" but I'd had a nice long post about how digital work and advocacy is praxis (or can be) on my old account. Right now, COVID is spreading and killing thousands of people in the US alone and nearly all """radicals""""" and """""leftists"""" are philosophically no different than the fascists they claim to oppose because they are so thoroughly wedded to eugenics that they refuse to wear and enforce masking. COVID causes long COVID in 10-30% of cases so the so-called US alone may well be a majority disabled nation now due to rampant eugenics forcing the spread of COVID. Long COVID is a rotting death and makes everything an order of magnitude more difficult if you still are able to do the things you were prior. Repeated COVID infections means you're guaranteed to be immunocompromised permanently and disabled in other ways you'll likely find out the hard way. With 40% of cases being asymptomatic and most only showing severe symptoms after 2-3 infections, and many starting to drop dead after 3 to 5 infections, many people accrue damage from and spread COVID without realizing it until it is far, far too late. As a result, it's guaranteed that the ableists have disabled and killed people. They've kept disabled people like me who are high risk out of radical spaces & communities. They've abandoned solidarity for everyone but the abled, ableist middle class while focusing most of their efforts on electoralism, despite the clear and constant failures of such actions. The BLM Rebellion of 2020-2021 had significant---albeit broadly temporary--impacts on electoral politics, society, and communities because it was a constant and ongoing rebellion that was also much more disability inclusive than prior leftist movement moments. For the first time, people recognized the need for remote actions & support because while masking was at the high water mark, more abled people understood that a lot of us disabled could not and would not risk COVID but we had had skills vital to the project. Things disabled people were absolutely critical for during the BLM Rebellion: police scanner observation and transcription, evacuation coordination, event & route planning, translation services, postering, graphics art & design, self defense seminars, radio nets, mutual aid fundraising, mutual aid distribution, bail fund coordination, zine writing, mask & test distributions, contact tracing (remember this??!??!), car brigades, organizing medical supplies, teaching first aid skills, and countless other roles often organized & performed remotely. For every fighter, there are at least a dozen support roles and with some thought and effort, those roles can be aided or done digitally. Posting on its own can be praxis in that it shares information, knowledge, tactics, demonstrates that there are other radicals out there willing to do what they can, normalizes radicalism, and in some cases, regimes pay close attention to internet support.

During the height of the Jina Amini rebellion in 2022, the Iranian regime tried to cut the internet repeatedly to stifle information out of and into Iran to hinder protest coordination and outrage. It also paid extremely close attention to when the rebellion was trending and refrained from reprisals until the mass attention of the internet citizenry turned away. Posting literally helped save lives by forcing the regime to wait, buying people time to organize, prepare, and act accordingly in Iran and internationally. Personally, I will always remember and be grateful for the Palestinians who turned out across the world, but especially in occupied Palestine, for Iranians. Iran is not the only regime that will wait until posts slacken and attention wanes before massacring people. If you are disabled, if you have arrest risks, if for any reasons you don't want to be involved in a radical riot, but you want to support those who can and do, there is so much you can do year round but especially things kick off!! Any skills, resources, knowledge, or support you can organize or contribute is valuable! eSims for Gaza right now are monumental in ensuring Gazans can coordinate information, requests, record Israeli occupation war crimes & apartheid cruelty, and many disabled graphics designers are offering their services in exchange for esim donations. It's been incredible to see.

The people who are against digital activism are ableist and racist and ignorant as hell beyond that. You can make an impact and even save and change lives while homebound. Begging genociders to stop profitable genocides has never and will never work. Riots & boycotts work because they directly confront and attack power and if those actions are supported by communities, they can continue for quite some time, as we saw with the BLM uprising. Regimes do not fall because people ask regime leaders to please stop committing atrocities; they fall when the people are able to bring to bear the sum of their hopes and wrath and bring the fight to those who have been oppressing them. That requires inclusive community & an outright rejection of the regime and its systems of cooptation & recuperation.

If a revolution or movement isn't inclusive, if it excludes the disabled, the poor, the marginalized, the oppressed, it's not a revolution or movement, it's just another genocidal regime change.

[crystallinestars]

Wow, it’s such a relief to find people who don’t like Haikaveh either. Was really disappointed when I read Sethos’s voiceline.. I am bisexual and I think that Haikaveh (along with many other pairings) is queerbaiting and some type of fetish. I’ve made a long written analysis on why I think it is and how I think it’s offensive, simply because I find it interesting and enjoy analyzing things. Really love their duo and they’re great parallels but they fit a sibling / platonic soulmate duo better than a romantic one 🤦‍♀️ It’s getting annoying at this point and I wish Hoyoverse would stop, but it earns them attention and money so why would they? Just want to enjoy my favorite character without him being used as an accessory for another. Disappoints me that other gay people don’t notice (or care) that they are being stereotypical themselves and that Hoyoverse is basically using our sexualities for accessories and money. Haven’t looked into the translation thing with Sethos’s voiceline but if it’s true it was more neutral in CN, then that’s interesting. The same Haikaveh defenders will yap about how “CN is the original!1!1!1” but if you bring something like this translation up they lose it. Hoyoverse has never been a “gay representation” company, it’s a queer-baiting one. 🤦‍♀️ But at the same time, I don’t really even care. I’m not a gay person who cares much about my sexuality or others, but things like this are frustrating. Wish there were more people who understand my view on why I think their presentation is harmful.

- 🪷 / 🪽

Hello 🪷/🪽 Anon! (Let me know if you want to go by both emojis or just one) Welcome to our small club of not being into Haikaveh (or most Hoyoverse queer ships).

I agree with you that Kaveh and Haitham have a very sibling/platonic dynamic. In fact, their bickering reminds me a lot of my younger siblings’ bickering, so I view them as brothers, as well. It’s just unfortunate that the fandom rejects any interpretation that’s not romantic.

I also wish Mihoyo would stop, but they’re obsessed with tossing ship crumbs, and only to the most popular ships. As you said, it makes them money, so they have no reason to stop.

There is definitely some queerbaiting in Genshin, but I would say it’s not as bad as in HSR. HSR sometimes made me very uncomfortable with the fetishization of some of their ships, and I wondered if a man wrote it for a straight male audience…

Mihoyo has always had a history of wanting to include same-sex pairings in their games. Honkai Impact 3rd has a confirmed lesbian MC, and also two other female characters who canonically kiss (but due to updated laws in China, they had to remove that scene).

It doesn’t surprise me that they want to do similar things in Genshin and HSR, but they never commit to the ships. They only tease and hint at them, ala “There might be something between these characters, but also not really, but what if…?” and this is pretty much exclusive to same-sex pairings. This teasing and hinting makes the fandom so much worse to be in. Lots of other gacha games don’t do this, but for whatever reason, Mihoyo does.

I suspect some of the employees working on the game may be queer or have a huge interest in BL and GL (though it’s probably a mix of both), which is why they make all these ship crumbs. There’s nothing wrong with having queer relationships in games and other media, but the way they go about it feels… fetishizing, I guess? It doesn’t feel genuine. I can’t quite put my finger on what feels so off about this. You would know about this far more than me since you analyzed this already, so if you have interpretations you want to add, I’ll gladly hear you out.

It sucks because they market their games as being for all audiences, but then do things with a heavy bias for certain ships. It makes it so difficult to enjoy characters the way you want when the developer and fandom constantly shove in your face that your favorite character has an implied relationship or some other such thing.

Regarding the Sethos voiceline… my friend in China, who also dislikes Haikaveh, complained to me about it the other day. She said the original Chinese text felt like it was implying something between Kaveh and Haitham. Of course, that is just her personal interpretation, and some people don’t see a deeper meaning behind the words. However, it goes to show that even the Chinese audience can tell something is up with the voiceline, so it might not be as neutral as we hoped.

I’m all for more media having queer rep, but Mihoyo doesn’t do it right. I really wish I could just play their games without having ship teasing slapped in my face, but alas, they won’t ever change. At this point, it’s better to not play any of their games (though maybe Tears of Themis can stay) and ditch the fandoms for your peace of mind.

[whinlatter]

The movie ootp showed this differently, but in the books, Sirius doesn't really show much physical affection to Harry. In book 4 he helped Harry to a chair, and held his shoulder, but when he left bc Dumbledore told him to (weird on it's own but that's my opinion) he parts from Harry with a handshake. When Harry stays with Sirius in ootp he isn't described at any point to have hugged him, expect a quick, hurried, half hug at the end of the Xmas holiday. I always found this curious, because the intensity and even co dependency that these two have is huge. Harry relies soo much on Sirius, Sirius does so much to be in Harry's life but that emotional affection never translates into a physical thing. Molly is the first to give Harry a bear hug when he needs it most. Maybe I'm missing something? Harry is far from a physical boi, I know. Maybe it's me, I'm Dutch, English culture is quite different than my own Dutch culture in ways of interaction, we never adress someone in last names, that's considered very rude here for example. We are very direct and familiar, even with authority and family. What do you think of this? Is this JK not computing Sirius's character in every scene or is there a reason I'm just missing? I just wish Sirius and Harry has more physical moments. My Dad and uncles hug me all the time, families do that, I'd just think Harry's Godfather would be familiair and safe enough to hug more than just one time. Their emotional bond seems to impy so. Sorry for the long ask lol. I'd love to hear someone on this!

this is a super interesting question, thank you so much!

i think you're totally right that it's striking how little physical contact/affection sirius and harry share in the books. (film sirius is king of the cuddles). i don't think this is an oversight in the text, but something quite deliberate, both as a characterisation choice for sirius, which i'll get into below, but also to set up something that's still 'missing' in harry's relationships - loving physical affection with a loved one - even after sirius comes into his life, that will be, in part, resolved by ginny.

you're right, i think, that cultural factors do come into sirius' lack of comfort with physical touch towards harry. sirius is a posh english man born in 1959, which would be enough to make for a pretty repressed character prone to limited displays of physical affection towards friends and family members of all genders at the best of times (not huge huggers, that lot). but sirius also enters the series in the canon timeline after twelve years of intense physical and emotional isolation, living in a body that's been through a lot and must be uncomfortable and sometimes painful to inhabit. sirius is arm in arm with james in the marauders photograph on his wall at grimmauld, and at james' wedding, so it's entirely possible he was more comfortable with physical contact prior to azkaban - the kind of breezy, easy display of contact he does on occasion to show to harry that's a bit reminscent of ron (a clap on the back, a hand on the shoulder, a handshake) - and reasonable to assume that an ease with such physical displays of affection might be something prison cost him.

i also think, though, that the physical distance sirius keeps from harry is supposed to be a sign of more complex and difficult parts of their relationship (sirius' attempts to maintain some distance from harry so as not to make harry feel responsible for him emotionally, sirius grappling with the guilt he feels for his part in lily and james' deaths and subsequent inability to be able to protect harry from all that he's endured since). harry wants more displays of affection from sirius than sirius feels he can comfortably or easily give (it's why i've never been much on board with fanon reads of harry that have him as someone touch averse - he seeks and accepts physical contact with friends and loved ones throughout canon, particularly in the later books). harry even seems to experience these moments of one-armed hugs and handshakes as disappointments. sirius, of course, would prefer to show his devotion and love for harry in other ways, including putting himself in danger to protect his godson, which harry increasingly doesn't want him to do by ootp.

for harry's sake, the absence of much physical touch in his relationship with sirius bolsters this sense of something still missing in harry's life even while sirius is alive, and serves to imbue moments of physical contact with other parental figures - and eventually in his romantic life - with greater significance. this is especially true, as you say, with molly. that GoF hug means a lot to harry, and the big hug he gives her in DH after the birthday present is supposed to be an important moment for both characters, but especially for harry's feelings for molly as a maternal figure. meanwhile, in harry's romantic life, it's striking how little he and cho ever actually touch: they have one (seemingly weirdly hands-free) off-stage kiss that harry recalls as quite physically unpleasant, and harry has to give himself a fifteen minute pep talk to try and hold her hand (flop). so then when ginny finally comes along, the reader's supposed to be like, oh damn, finally harry potter's getting a hug or two (and, you know, more than that, but the physical touch love language point still stands!)

[radarchives]

I dont think youve gotten an ask like this before since this is an om! blog and all and this is possibly gonna sound weird or dumb of me to ask a german native this, but how hard is your grammar really?

Reason (1-1) for my question: languages are my guilty pleasure. I'm only fluent in arabic and english rn but I wanna learn as much as I can, even if just basic facts, not a language itself

Reason (1-2): people learning german insist that the grammar is "brutal" especially for english-speakers but frankly it kinda feels that theres exaggeration or a "trend" along the lines of "german grammar is impossible because everyone says so" even if it's not THAT gory, yk?

Any new language IS gonna be hard at first- thats a given. And some languages like arabic / chinese / japanese / korean are listed at the top for difficulty. Ik that german grammar has many many rules and has exceptions... Linguistic sites say thats a reason for its complexity and the majority of learners agree with "yeah it's too difficult"

But tbh?? Idk

At this point it feels like a stereotype that was based off facts at first but then got negatively exaggerated?? I think yes german grammar is more "detailed" than the english norm / other grammar rules but it isnt monstrous like whats being often said and spread about it?

Thats why I wanna hear an authentic objective thought on this from a german if you dont mind🎤

hey there!

i really don't think German is one of the most difficult languages to learn. if you're an english native speaker the things you might struggle the most with are:

- pronunciation (harsher sounds, less soft than english, äöü sounds. when you have someone who can correct you this isn't as difficult to learn)

- grammar (lots of rules and lots of exceptions as well. words are gendered with der, die, das /feminine, masculine, neutral. also learning how to decline words can be tricky as well, but i think that just comes down to memorisation and practice)

- the sheer volume of vocabulary. a lot of words are HIGHLY specific (which is the fun part to be honest. there's lots of german words that are difficult to translate to english bc of this. an example would be the German word "doch" which is something similar to "yes it is" or "is not, is too")

i can imagine the difficulty level might be similar to learning french (at least from what i can compare). honestly i can only judge this so far, at work i do have lots of people around me who are just starting to learn the language, these are a few things that i saw them struggle with as well.

i think it mostly comes down to dedication and interest. you do have to put in a lot of effort, but you obviously have to do that for every language.

i think German gets a bad rep for sounding harsh and brutal, but i think it sounds quite beautiful. here's a little comp of German words i appreciate.

Nickerchen - nap

Maus - literally means mouse, but more recently has become youth slang. you can call someone "eine süße Maus" / literally a cute mouse / when they did something nice for example. Maus is originally gendered female = die Maus, but is used in a gn way like this. Meine Follower sind zum Beispiel richtig süße Mäuse 🥰

also used as an adjective (mausig)

Fremdschämen - being embarrassed for someone else. Wenn ich sehe, dass Lucifer redet als hätte er drei Wörterbücher verschluckt, schäme ich mich fremd.

unschön - unattractive, unpleasant. this one isn't special but it's my morally acceptable way of saying "well that fucking sucked" at work. Das ist jetzt aber unschön verlaufen.

so yeah! if you want to learn it don't let the naysayers stop you!

[maxladcomics]

Something with papyrus and sans is that they have a very similar relationship as me and my brother.

I’m the active one who does everything around the house and has a million crafts, he is very ‘lazy’ (depressed) and mostly plays video games or sleeps all day; but he also makes friends very easily and has a lot of online friends.

I am also very autistic and have a very difficult time explaining my emotions at times; and my brother acts as a translator when needed- but he also gets things wrong on occasion. I wouldn’t be surprised if he talks about me to others as well so that they understand me better; but could get things wrong due to him having a different perspective of me than who I really am.

I’m wondering if sans and papyrus do the same; where sans attempts to explain papyrus’ behavior to others so that they can understand him easier; but that also gives the other person a warped perception of papyrus because they are seeing him through sans’ eyes. But papyrus doesn’t act the same way all the time, he changes his behavior depending on who he’s with; so what sans says is invalid.

Something else is that I think papyrus plays up who he is; exaggerating his personality to make you/frisk laugh. Making mistakes and acting silly for your sake- but that makes it difficult to find who he really is under his acting

TLDR: I relate to papyrus so much I can read him like a book.

I've been studying Papyrus for 8 years (had a sans fan arc, regrettably) and I can't read him at all, I can understand why people lie but his reasons are unclear. I can understand things in the form of a video game and different culture as monsters, and he still remains a mystery. He says and does things that are out of character but not? He is a genius that prefers to act like an idiot? Or is he a genius that's forgotten everything? (I'm on this one)

I was initially displeased at the most recent interview because Papyrus came across as far too stupid on the first reading of it, but recognizing he has a thing with numbers (and theories) actually spurred me on to hunt for mysteries around him. I am really enjoying finding out pieces of mysteries about him from the interviews (Secret name, battle body, irresponsible dog owner)

Relating to characters is fun, too! Papyrus inspired me to do better, which I've done my best (have not stopped murder runs) and while I can question his motives/origin for years on end, I'm glad he believes in us, even at our (repeatable) worst.

[judesmoonbeauty]

Ellis Twilight Chapters 21-25 Blind Love Route Summaries 🗡

Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. This is an extremely pared down SUMMARY of each chapter. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do NOT post my translations elsewhere. The summaries will be uploaded in groups. ***Translation notes

Chapter 21

Kate is embraced by blood-soaked hands, “On the day that I kill you, I'm sure I will laugh”. Ellis wraps his arms around his treasure that he found inside the coffin and lifts her up out of it. Starting to carry her, Kate says that she's perfectly fine to walk on her own, but Ellis reminds her that he just said he'd never let her go again, so she let's him carry her.

On the way out, she sees grisly corpses everywhere from Ellis' kills, and he gently covers her eyes with his large hand and turns her towards his chest. Kate says to him that he has told her before that killing wasn't difficult for him, so was that really true? Ellis responds that he meant what he said that it was truly a sad thing when dies sad instead of their happiest moment. She realizes just how twisted his heart is now, but even so, she wants to love all of his broken and twisted heart.

She hugs him tightly, and he anxiously asks if she is afraid of him now, and she says that she isn't afraid of him at all(because she loves him). He gently kisses her neck and arms and tells her that he will protect her from now on. Back at the Castle, Roger tends to Kate's wounds, but Kate says that the wounds from the rope bindings are just scratches. Roger reprimands her to not take scratches lightly as it can lead to other things like tetanus and sepsis, Kate thinks about how she's heard those who've developed tetanus can end up acting like they're demon possessed, so she let's him tend to her all the while Ellis gawks at them, so she tells Ellis that he should go to his room and rest, but he refuses from several reasons:

He says that she's showing more bare skin than he's ever seen and it wouldn't be fair if Roger got to see it before him.

He says Rogers tends to be naughty and forceful, so he's there to guard her against him.

He also wants to see how Roger is treating her so he can treat her himself.

Roger asks if they're together and once Ellis confirms they are, Roger says that she's finally opened the secret box, and Ellis asks: What secret box? Roger smiles and says that Kate can explain it to him later, he then starts to tease them by asking how far they've gone. Ellis tells him they've kissed, and when Roger asks what he wants to do next, Ellis says that he wants to eat Kate – to her embarrassment.

Roger congratulates them and says that they make a good couple, and he then gives Kate the clear to leave the lab. Before they leave Ellis asks Roger of Jude's whereabouts, and Rogers says that after he got into a fight with William, he left the castle. Ellis asked why they had a fight, and Roger said it was because Jude got pissed with William for most likely knowing that Kate would be kidnapped, and allowing it to happen.

Roger he says Jude may be right, but he doesn't know if it's true or not. Knowing that Jude isn't one to act inefficiently on his emotions, and that he didn't accompany Ellis to rescue her, she reasons that he must've gone out to search for the culprit behind the abduction. She looks at Ellis, who smiles at her and says that by now Jude must've wrapped things up on his own.

Kate says that Jude is probably going to charge her a large amount of money for the inconvenience, and Ellis says that if that happens he'll help her pay it back because it's his fault too. Roger is clueless as to what they are laughing about, she thanks him for treating her and when they leave Roger calls her to comeback to him, but Ellis grabs her sleeve and says, “If you kiss me, then I'll wait for you.”

Chapter 22

Kate sees Roger gesturing her to come to him and when she tells Ellis that she'll be right back, he pulls her sleeve and tells her that if she kisses him, then he will wait for her. She looks up at Ellis an realizes how tall he is, so she struggles to kiss him. He somewhat teases her that she can't reach him and calls her hardworking face cute. She finally manages to kiss him, and after he leaves the lab she asks Roger what he didn't want Ellis to hear?

He tells her to come closer, but she's apprehensive, so he reassures her that he isn't going to do anything to her as Ellis is smitten with her and he's pretty much called Roger out. He tells her that since she's won Ellis' heart, he's going to tell her why he's so attached to Ellis as he previously mentioned. She tells him that he doesn't have to say anything because as she's learned with Ellis, there are somethings from the past that others don't want to reveal.

He persuades her to listen to him as a Fairytale Keeper because he views the past as the past, and what matters to him is what happens in the future. So, after Kate agrees to listen, Roger says that Ellis is not the first person he's met with the curse of the briar thorn, in fact, Roger committed a terrible betrayal to Ellis' predecessor, and because of this he wants Ellis to be happy. She asks what the fate of Ellis' curse and he says it's to be destroyed by the hands of justice, much like how the prince in Sleeping Beauty's fairytale hacked the thorn hedge away (Disney's Version of the story).

Turns out that Ellis' predecessor was shot to death. Kate thinks about Ellis' fate and how she wants to do whatever she can to protect the one she loves, and she wonders if that's wrong. Roger says that “fate” is predestined and it can not be changed, but Roger says, “nothing is impossible” (basically he says to hell with that). He tells her that they should overcome their destiny together, and she says that she wants to, so Roger says, “Let's see how you do.” She meets up with Ellis, and she thanks him for waiting, he hugs her tightly and asks what they were talking about, and she tells him they were discussing his fate. Ellis is like, “Oh, that's it?”

Kate asks him if it doesn't surprise him that they talked about it, and Ellis says that while he's talked to Roger a little bit about it himself, he doesn't really like to do it. She ask Ellis if he's scared about meeting his fate? He says he isn't afraid of it, and explains that he couldn't really put his finger on what his curse was. Kate says she wishes for nothing but the best for his final days, so Ellis ponders before telling her that he's never thought about what kind of end he's wanted for himself.

So, Kate tells him that they will find nothing but the best happiness for him, and he smiles at her saying, “Yeah, I'll find it with you Kate.” Then he says, “I think I've found something that'll make me happy right away”. Ellis brings his face close to hers and says that he wants a reward for waiting, but she says that she doesn't have anything to give him right now, he tells her he'll take whatever she can give like a kiss from earlier or something else. She kisses him gently like a light snowdrop that disappears instantly, and when she pulls away his arm wraps around her waist and pulls her back in and says, “Stay close.”

Chapter 23

He tells her to stay close and soon they're drowning in a deep kiss, it feels so sweet like she is being eaten by him, and she is so melted by his kiss that she literally loses strength in her body and he has to support her. He calls her cute for not being able to walk and she says she wishes she could make it to where he can't walk either. Ellis takes her to the bathroom and runs the water for her causing the maids to fuss when they see them both covered in blood, so he explains that they were attacked while at “work”.

He leaves Kate in their care while he goes to bathe elsewhere and hands them ointment to put on Kate's wound after she's finished bathing. In the bath, her fatigue melts away and she feels a bit guilty that she thought he was going to take her back to his room, and thinks that if the maids hadn't come he would've bathed her himself, but realizes that everything he's done for her was out of kindness.

After the bath, she drinks warm milk with Ellis and she tells him that from what she could hear from her abductor's, it appears they were after Crown, and Ellis says he believes it's the Privy Council. Kate is taken aback they Crown has to not only take up dark work, but has to deal with them too, and she wonders how she can save/help everyone at Crown.

When Ellis asks that if she is now worried about Crown, Kate says that it's because now she knows that there many saved by Ellis and Crown, in addition to it becoming important to her personally. Kate soon begins to doze off and Ellis rests her head on his chest. Ellis says it's up to them now to put an end to this, so he can continue to kiss Kate and be happy. Kate drowsily laughs that even though Ellis is finally acting selfish, he is still Ellis.

Ellis: “…...Such a happy sleeping face”

Ellis: “Hey, Kate...”

Ellis: “You'll be the happiest tomorrow.....or the day after tomorrow.”

Ellis: “Or.....now.”

Gently, Ellis' hand goes around Kate's neck.

Ellis: “You're neck is so thin.” If he were to wrap his large hand around it he could surely tighten his grip easily.

Ellis: “.....” He hesitates for a few seconds and then removes his hand from her neck.

He apologizes because he probably won't be able to keep his cool in front of those who hurt her.

Jude: “.....she's sleeping rather conveniently?”

Jude, who was leaning against the doorway of the common room watching the entire scene play out from around the time that Kate fell asleep, snickers at Ellis. Ellis smiles and admits that he slipped a little something into her milk to make her sleepy, and Jude watches Ellis as he picks Kate up gently like she were a broken piece of furniture, and Jude looks on in dismay. He tells Ellis that he will have to work hard to make up for their silly it quarrels, and of course Ellis fully intends to do so. A few hours later.....

A man from the Privy Council reports to the Queen that a civilian that had been involved with Crown's activities had been slaughtered, and as the man lectures how dangerous they Crown is to society, the Queen remains silent behind her veil, not replying once. Jude pops up and says, “You're the one who doesn't understand. We just learned that you paid bail in order to have her kidnapped by that gang. I've just reported it to her Majesty along with the evidence.”

The privy council member is like WHAT?! Jude continues that her Majesty is angered over his use of people in his political disputes, so Jude says that he requests his retirement from the council and that he go into hiding. Holding up a royal decree from the Queen, the council member gets upset and yells that she beg she change her mind about the unjust order due to how much work he's put in for England. Jude asks if the man shouldn't be the one to reconsider, the man calls out the Queen, but she doesn't respond.

After exiting the audience chamber, Jude purposefully dishevels his hair that had been fixed in place, and sighs that the Queen only ever shows up and gives orders through letters, hiding behind her veil.

Ellis shows up and said that he had permission from Victor, Jude said yea they need to make an example of them (privy council), and Ellis says that he wants to wait just a little longer and Jude says that he can do whatever he wants.

The end of the chapter opens to memory of the day he killed his brother on the hill, and he says that he remembers what he was thinking when he plunged the knife in his chest – that he and his brother resigned themselves to the fact that they could never have this happiness again. That's why he (his brother) wished it would end, and Ellis decided to end it, but as much as Ellis wanted to kill him, he wanted the rest of the story.

The scene cuts to the council member who abducted Kate vomiting blood, and crawling on the floor. Ellis thinks to himself, there's nothing you can do about it even if you run away. It should've been a sight that made him feel sorry for the poor guy, and want him to put an end to him as soon as possible, but it doesn't hurt Ellis to see it tonight. For him, killing people is like polishing shoes, like a fisherman catching fish for work, and most of the time this work is for someone else, and with that premise anything is possible.

This too was his job for the night, but he doesn't kill right away because he doesn't want to. (Basically, he wants him to suffer for trying to harm Kate.) Ellis uses his ability to bind his hands together as if in prayer, and he finally stops moving. Moody Jude shows up asking how long it takes to kill one person, and Ellis said he had permission to make it last a little longer.

Jude: “Haaaa, look at this shit. What are you doing?”

Ellis: “A poison that melts your insides.”

So, apparently,.......Ellis coated his knife in this poison and cut/stabbed the guy with it.

Ellis: Life is so fleeting.

Jude: Ha, is your conscience botherin' ya?

Ellis: No, it's not that. I thought that if Kate's and the happy time I spend with her were so fleeting, I would....I'm afraid that if I don't make us happy right away, they will blow out like smoke. I've got to kill her before that....I'm in a hurry.”

Chapter 24

Ellis and Jude are still speaking while in the room with the corpse…..

Ellis: No, it's not that. I thought that if Kate's and the happy time I spend with her were so fleeting, I would....I'm afraid that if I don't make us happy right away, they will blow out like smoke. I've got to kill her before that....I'm in a hurry.

Jude: ……I feel sorry for the princess.

Ellis: ….I guess so.

Ellis: But, I can’t let go anymore…..

Ellis: …..I wish we could be happy every day.

Jude: …..Idiot.

Jude’s face is filled with dismay when he grabs Ellis by the chest and pulls him close to his displeased face.

Jude: Unlike in the past, where ya did what ya were told, and killed as many people as ya could like you were polishing shoes.

Jude: Ya got your hands dirty tonight because of that irrational desire of yours.

Ellis: …….yeah.

Jude: Even if ya take some one’s life away, you’re not willin’ to give up your worthless happy life.

Ellis: …..yeah.

Jude: Ya can’t get return the life that’s taken.

Jude: You’ve killed so many people, it’s absurd that only I and the ones you care for haven’t been killed by an unreasonable force.

Jude: There’s no one who’ll listen to your sweet talk.***

Jude: If that’s the case, then I guess I’ll just have grudgingly work twice as hard to protect what you’ve taken.***

Jude pushes Ellis away and he stumbles backwards.

Ellis: ……

Jude: …..say somethin’ ya creep.

Ellis: I’m sorry, Jude. I was surprised when you said, “I’ll protect your happiness.”

Ellis was surprised with Jude’s word’s, maybe since the very first time he told Ellis that he didn’t care if Ellis killed him.

Jude: Noisy. That’s not what I think.

Jude: You’re too crazy to understand yourself, so I explained it to you.

Ellis: Sure….that sounds right.

Ellis thinks about what Kate told him about wanting to bind the people he loves in their happiness and how it fits perfectly.

Ellis: …..This time I’m not giving up the rest of the story.

Jude: Ya can’t even take care of her that well.

Ellis: Oh, I haven’t forgotten my promise to you Jude.

Ellis: Jude, I’ll work with you until you’re at your happiest, don’t worry.

Jude: Of course not. If you abandon your duties, I’ll charge ya, even if you die.

Those caught up in the fate of the thorns have increased to two. (So, why is my chest so warm?)

Ellis: Oh, but I hope Jude will be happy before Kate.

Jude: Yea???

Ellis: I’m sure that when I kill Kate, I too will be the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. So, we’ll probably die together.

Ellis isn’t really interested in fate, but if he must meet it his end and be “destroyed by justice”…. He wants that be done by Kate.

Jude: ….You’re as crazy as ever.

Jude: Then I’ll bury ya both in a field of flowers.

Ellis: Thank you. I’ll see you then.

Ellis: Ah….bury us as closely as you can.

I smiled, happy to hear that, and Jude looked at me with a creeped out look on his face.

The next morning, Kate prepares breakfast for Ellis and Jude since she wants to make up for sleeping while Jude was out stopping the mastermind behind her abduction. Kate thanks Jude for taking care of things, and he says that she doesn’t have to thank him because he’s going to work her hard for it, and the “shitty” tea she was trying to serve him wouldn’t cut it.

Ellis says he’ll pay Jude back with her, and when she asks what Ellis was doing yesterday while she slept, he lies and says he was resting too. Jude essentially covers for him by calling him a useless assistant, and while Kate thought that Ellis would’ve been helping Jude, she let’s it go. Kate asks Jude what his work schedule is like and lists all the things she can assist him with, but he says she can write up the report about the incident because her month is almost up. Ellis says he will help her write the report since Jude relayed all the details to him.

Back in his room she types up her report, and Kate realizes that soon she will need to leave Crown soon, and with all the memories of Crown still vivid in her mind, she wonders if she could ever return to her normal life? While she did miss certain parts of her old life, she still wouldn’t be close to Ellis. Ellis interrupts her thoughts, and they take a break from typing while having tea together.

He asks Kate if she is happy living in the castle or does she want to go back to her peaceful life? She asks Ellis what would make him happy, knowing it’s a little mean of her to ask that question to him. He tells her, ‘whichever would make you happy’, or the old him would be saying that with a smile, but now he says to her with a smile, “I’ll make you happy…a hundred times more than you could be if you returned to your old life. Stay close to me.” Kate says that she wants to be with him.

Despite his tragic ending, she wants to love Ellis so he too can be happy. He asks her if he can touch her, and do more than that like kiss her, and she agrees. The tips of their noses touch, they smile and they lock lips kissing each other so sweetly that they feel debauched to the core.

Ellis: I want to make you feel good.……you may not have as much spare time as you think.

Premium Story: MDNI

Ellis: I want to make you feel good….you may not have as much spare time as you think.

Ellis urgently whispers behind Kate’s ear, tangles his arms around her and carries her to the bed, and strips her while kissing the back of her leg. His lips slowly climb up and touch inside her thigh which cause her to cry out. He says she has such a pretty voice as he kisses the same spot over and over again. His arms wrap around her back and he says that he can’t take it anymore, and asks her for permission, to which she says she wants to be loved more by him.

So, Ellis sinks himself into her and she cries out, and he apologizes if it hurts her and pulls his hips back, and pushes in again. Kate thinks this is what it means to be fulfilled. As Ellis thrusts his body, wet sounds overflow from the movement, and he calls Kate pretty because her face is bright red. Kate is a little made at Ellis because he is teasing her, and he comments that she’s cute when she’s sulky and angry, and that now they are together, he wants to see this face so many times.

He tells Kate to be more filled of him and he asks her if she feels so good that she could die? She hooks her hands around his waist and strokes his hip bones and tight flanks, his back is supple like a wild beast. He says that while touching Kate’s smooth skin feels good, it also feels good when he is touched. Still, he wants to bind his loved ones with happy times, by his own hands.

Ellis: “Maybe, that’s my desire from the curse of thorns.”

Their hands are still clasped together as they press against the sheets.

Ellis: Thus, I will bind you to me forever.

In the name of thorns, “happiness” entangles Kate.

Ellis: I love you, Kate.

Kate: You can tie me up if you want…..I don’t want to leave you either, Ellis.

Ellis: If I make you feel good enough, you won’t be able to stay away from me either, will you?

Her heart flutters as Ellis presses into even deeper layers of her body where their heat connects. His wet tongue digs into her ear as he thrusts into her body, leaving her with little option other than to moan into his strong chest. Kate wakes up in the middle of the night, the sheets are a complete mess with traces of their love making, finds Ellis getting something to drink. Ellis asks if she wants something to drink too, and when she says yes, he seals her lips with his and pours the water into her mouth, and asks if it’s tasty.

Kate is embarrassed and Ellis asks if she wants one more drink with a smile, which she can’t refuse. “One more,” she says. They discuss going on a picnic and Ellis says this time, he may not be able to resist kissing her, so Kate wonders if he wanted to kiss her the last time they went on a picnic and for just how long did Ellis contain his love for her in his secret box. She decides not to ask since she wants to get to know him more slowly, so she suggests they have a picnic in his room so he can kiss her as much as he wants, and he agrees to it.

Chapter 25

If life were a fairytale, it would be easy to be happy. You could truly be in love with some one. Most fairy tales conclude like this, “They lived happily ever after.” But the truth is, the story doesn’t end even if you love some one. Happiness is like the twilight that ever changes, you hold it in your heart forever and never let it go, but you never get the same moment back. That’s why -

At the dining table, Jude points his thumb at William and says he’s got a problem with him, because he used Kate as bait (Not me thinking back to that one first SE where you left her in the open as a target, but ok). Kate thinks about how Jude persistently thinks about something both Kate and Ellis have completely forgotten about, so Kate and Ellis say that somehow they get the feeling that William knew she would be safe, and Jude contorts his face and says: You guys really….. But doesn’t say anything more about it and William laughs saying he was prepared to be denounced or have a knife pointed at him.

There’s a discussion about Jude signing an employment contract with Kate, and Ellis offers to show her the ropes, to which Jude sighs. William says the couples conversation is like listening to a pair of lovely birds chirping, and asks Jude if he agrees? He doesn’t answer, but Liam and Harry show up, and Liam asks what’s up with the good mood, and Harry says that he’s up to no good. William says that he’s just watched how the plot ends, and he is glad that Ellis was able to pursue his true desires. Harry at looks at the couple with a silent “Ah-ha” look, and William says he thought that Harrison would disagree, but he says he’s not so wild as to interrupt some one’s love life.

In the evening, Kate visits the palace to submit her report to Victor while Ellis waited outside. Victor gives her the choice to stay or leave, but to gain something means to discard something, he says while smiling wistfully. Still, he will make sure he choice doesn’t cloud her smile, and of course she chooses to stay. Kate wants to ask Victor a question, and he says sure.

Kate: Didn’t you originally intend to kill me, Victor….?

In response, Victor laughs and shakes his head.

Victor: I’m not going to play the good guy by making excuses after the fact.

Victor: Only, now I want you to be free to do as you will and have your own happiness.

Victor: Just as the same way I feel about the other Crown members.

After explaining what happened to Ellis, she says that she’s kept one more promise to Ellis, and that was getting Victor’s secret recipe to his scones. (LUCKY!) Now, they can bake the scones for the picnic in Ellis’ bedroom. They hold hands and walk back to the castle. Kate says that she’ll make Ellis happy and when he asks how much, she says enough that she will always make him happier tomorrow, and Ellis agrees.

Kate fell in love with an assassin, and that person wishes to kill her so much in her happiest moment. It’s a very deep and heavy love. If someone read their love story, they’d think it was tragic, but for her it was a once-in-a-lifetime love that was precious to her and that she chose of her own volition….

Kate wakes up in the morning, she stares at Ellis who is still asleep on her arm, and she wonders if it will go numb, but soon he is awake. They greet each other, and he kisses her forehead, and she happily kisses him on the lips, and says that it’s picnic day. He wakes up further with a surprised face because he thought he’d been dreaming. Ellis spins her around to where he’s on top of her hugging her, she shivers as a large hand explores her naked body, he takes off his shirt and they laugh together with their bare bodies wrap around each other.

They laugh with each other like they’re children and enjoy their scones and jam in bread. Tasting the jam they made together:

Ellis: Mmm, delicious.

Kate: Really?

Ellis pulls her cheek to him.

Ellis: Look….

Kate: Ah….

Ellis presses the sweet simmered fruit to her lips with his tongue. The jam sweetly pours into her mouth and numbs her tongue.

Ellis: ….Well?

Kate: Delicious….

Just a few moments ago, they were playing with each other like children in grassy fields, but as their lips touch each others, Kate recalls how they made love the night before evoking a sweet sensation. This moment has made her very happy, and looking up at Ellis she could tell that he feels the same way.

Ellis: Maybe now….

Kate: Happiest moment?

Ellis looks at her and nods.

Ellis: You look the most beautiful and happiest you’ve ever looked.

Kate: ….hehe, maybe.

This happiness may soon fade away. Then I want to end up happy before everything fades on it’s own. If you truly love some one and wish for their happiness, it may be a very natural feeling that wells up in your heart.

Ellis: I’m happier now than I’ve ever been in my life. Even…..

Kate: Even?

Still, you can’t give up the rest of the story. (Because I want to laugh with my Beloved for as long as I can.)

Ellis & Kate: Maybe, we’ll be even “happier tomorrow”……

As their voices overlap, a smile comes up on their lips, and they laugh.

Ellis: Someday, I will kill you.

Ellis: So….for now, let me kiss you.

-What is happiness? It is like a twilight sky that changes it’s color as soon as it’s seen. It holds onto your heart and never let’s go, yet you can never have the same thing again. So, tomorrow I will show you a more beautiful twilight. The day after tomorrow and the day after that.

So that eventually, when we’re assured of the greatest happiness, the two of use will stop time and become eternal together.

Until then…..happy days will fade and be repainted, with you.

Fin.

***Please take these two lines with a grain of salt. I didn't research them thoroughly, but the line about Jude protecting Ellis' and Kate, I believe is relatively accurate because Ellis' line confirms and interprets Jude's line as meaning that he will protect their happiness, and this in Jude's true nature - wanting to protect others.

[Master List] [Blind Love Epilogue]

[archivalofsins]

As someone who has experienced both The Caligula Effect and Milgram, which Milgram characters do you consider most likely to be in the Go-Home Club and Musicians respectively?

Hm, this is a really difficult question...

Mostly because Milgram and the Caligula Effect franchise are different on very fundamental levels.

So, here's the short answer no spoilers or long explainations-

Musicians: Haruka, Shidou, Mahiru, Amane, Kotoko. Go Home Club: Yuno, Futa, Mu, Kazui, Mikoto.

As a bonus-

Aria: Jackalope μ (Mu)/Regret: Es

Long post with a lot of reasoning and other stuff beneath. Spoilers for the Caligula Effect games under the cut.

Now why is this difficult?

This is because Caligula Effect has a focus on rehabilitation and bettering oneself from their past experiences. As well as a focus on building better communication skills all while meeting people where they’re at and looking at one’s own actions more objectively.

While on the other hand Yamanaka has gone on record stating that Milgram isn’t about rehabilitation not only within the text itself but outside of it.

Amane's First Voice Drama

Don't make me laugh. I'm not your teacher at school; it isn't my goal to teach you things or guide you on the right path.

This can be taken as a bit of cheeky nod towards Caligula Effect something Amane's voice actress also worked in. Since that takes place within a school setting. It is still highlighting this is not that though.

Highlighting that once again guidance, learning from one's mistakes, and receiving the proper help to thrive is completely antithetical to Milgram's goals. Something that many people who have played Caligula Effect would recognize Yamanaka understands very well and is capable of portraying that sort of character growth in ways while still not always correct are far more kinder and encouraging of progress than Milgram will ever be.

Because this is Milgram; it's not about the characters finding closure or becoming better versions of themselves. It's about sin and judgment- Crime and punishment. Sinners and executioners. This is reiterated in the first novel to an extent as well.

Outside of that canon statement- Yamanka stated on the Milgram App early into the series that there are no connections between Milgram and Caligula Effect,

Source: Maristelina (MILGRAM Timeline Master Document)

It's a completely new world.

Side note it is very fun seeing the creator comments within that doc. My favorite of trial two these several for personal reasons- I will be analyzing these forever actually.

Really like how Deco just points out "I wanted to be loved like a cat" perfectly embodies Kazui's character. I love how with the discussion of Purge March it's the second time a prisoners ideology has been referred to so bluntly. The third one is just like yeah tell me the obvious one more time baby!

Also the way Deco highlights paying attention to the tone in It's Not My Fault is just really good too-

Like,

"Listen closely to the subtle inflections in the vocals."

This is something that has also been discussed when it comes to the musician covers of the their songs in Caligula Effect Overdose. It is something showcased very well in Stork's self-cover of Lovescope. Using him as the example here because he shares a voice actor with Shidou and I need to spread the cursed knowledge.

So, fans of Caligula Effect do have an unfair advantage when it comes to Milgram because they'd be more used to how Yamanaka and to an extent Deco create a narrative through the use of music.

Also these may be my favorites but all of the comments regarding the songs on the app are very informative and I would recommend giving them a look over if anyone has the time.

This is just turning into advertising this Google Doc at this point. Go read it. It's great and informative. I really like it. It's well put together and easy and sift through. Plus have multiple translations to compare and contrast allow me to get a clearer idea of the situation as someone who's always had an issue with comprehending text.

But back on track- Yamanaka told the Milgram audience from the beginning that these two franchises had nothing to do with one another. This may have been done in attempt to avoid others falling victim to the assumption that Milgram would handle these topics in similar ways to Caligula Effect.

However, a writer’s creations will always hold their own unique touch within them. Something that can give people a glimpse into how the creator presents a topic or what topics a creator may enjoy putting a spotlight on. Something that may not only be pertinent to one of their works but others as well.

Attentive observers may very will become acutely aware of a creators style and creative habits over time. The audience’s ability to do this with a creators work is ultimately what creates a fandom around those works. It may very well do the opposite at times too. Since at times people will understand the point that a creator is trying to make through their creation agree or disagree with that point and still hate the execution.

Or even that the point was illustrated at all depending on the viewers subjective biases.

In the old,

"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink."

way.

So, regardless of how unrelated to Milgram Deco's and Yamanaka's past works are. They'll always be related through the fact that they share creators alone despite what the creators have to say on the matter. That's just one of the pitfalls of creating a lot of things in general there are bound to be comparisons of those things.

For example like the way Hao wound up being compared to Salamander.

Things like this are going to happen. Comparisons of ones creations with their other ones or even to the works of others are going to continue to occur even if someone tries to get ahead of it which Yamanaka did that was him getting ahead of it.

Even still comparisons are things people commonly make as well as how many individuals engage with and analyze the information in front of them. So, yes regardless of how often one says certain things are not related to each other if they are in close proximity to one another connections will wind up being made. People are going to be able to relate it back to something said creator made in the past or even works completely unrelated to the creator that predate or succeed the work being compared.

However, it still matters and is a indisputable fact that these things are completely unrelated to one another and treating them as they could be would stop people from enjoying Milgram in the way it was intended to be enjoed.

It's still fun to think about despite that. I do believe it is important to note that the this is not the intended viewing experience. Like one of the creators bluntly stated so.

Just as Yamanaka also stated many of times that the cover songs have nothing to do with the story. They just pick whatever best suits the character or would be fun.

Source: Yamanaka's Marshmallow

Other fun things of note,

Either way, the prisoners covering these songs have nothing to do with their murders. It's a fun fanservice kind of like special tailored karaoke.

Yuno didn't decide to do what she did one day simply because she went and sung Vampire. This is a given no one is saying that's what occurred here. Yet, it's still fun to delve into what this says about the prisoners character in the same way people think,

"Hm I wonder what my favorite song says about me." It's just a neat thing.

No one's saying,

"Oh, because so and so covered this that means this is their crime."

However, once these songs have been related to the characters and franchise in some way people are going to want to think about why. Especially since Milgram is a series that's prone to having bursts of content and then none for long stretches of time.

Discussing the covers is just another way to lengthen the discussions fans can have around the series during said downtime.

Observable writing quirks/tendencies.

It's the same with discussing the Caligula Effect series.

Because the more one knows about Caligula Effect the easier it becomes to see the similarities between the characters within it and the ones within Milgram. Even if at times those similarities can be incredibly surface level.

Like got damn Yamanaka how many times are you going to create characters that are cops?

I don't care if Kazui may be lying about everything it's still like three times at most and two at best my guy. There's only two Caligula Games- In both someone is a cop. We're two for two. That's already two too many. If there's a third game chances are high there will be another cop.

Like at that point it's a bit of writing pattern despite how unrelated these things are. I'm just gonna throw that out there.

That's not even touching on both series using Es within their naming conventions. Caligula Effect taking place in Metaverse-Es and the prisoner guards within Milgram being referred to as Es. Both stories relying on music when it comes to displaying the mentalities of certain characters.

Given all of those points, it's a little unsurprising Caligula Effect would have characters on both sides of its cast that would be reminiscent of the prisoners in some way to those familiar with Milgram.

For example Shogo displays his regret similarly to how Kazui does. Something that leads me to speculate that to an extent the suicide framing of his sin is a projection of Shogo's storyline onto Kazui's character. Since that's a part of his narrative.

So, when I run into the idea of any of the prisoners murders not being direct murders that are a consequence of their mentalities and choices. Something that Jackalope blatantly tells the viewer,

"The fact of having committed murder in their lives is a direct result from the thoughts each espoused and their individual environments."

Yet, instead their murders are indirect deaths or suicides caused through negligence/just their everyday mannerisms. As well as when the prisoners situations are presented as very abstract themes that wouldn't count as murder unless someone had a very serious issue with conflating minor inconveniences to extreme grievances.

I just want to do some equivalent of this-

Because that's just these games really. I even went as far as to describe Caligula Effect as the Barney version of Milgram to a friend. It's like babies first interaction with cruelty and the concept of people being assholes.

It's never really as extreme as Milgram can get except when it comes to Overdose exclusive characters. Still all the games manage to get the point across. This is why I find it very easy to find comparisons between the prisoners and the Caligula cast.

The easiest characters to make comparisons to off the top of my head being #QP and Mahiru. A more difficult to catch one in my opinion would be the similarities between Machina and Shidou- Since from what I have heard Shidou tends to be compared to Doktor more so.

I believe this is because like with Kazui it's really easy to compare the prisoners to other characters they seem to share a profession with. It just gives a good jumping off point to work from.

I tend to lean more towards comparing him to Machina because both his first glitched voice line and Triage put on full display to me that his first run in with death may have been the death of his family members later in life. So much later in fact that he couldn't even fully understand what he was having people reckon with until it happened to him. The fact that Shidou is like this from the start ultimately leaves an avenue for Kotoko's stance to have some credibility regardless off if she was found Guilty from the jump or not.

Since Shidou is a walking example of how sometimes the only way for certain people to learn that what they're doing is wrong is by experiencing it for themselves.

"[cackling] Not dead... Yeah, she's definitely not dead... I finally understand the value of what I've been robbing people of."

This comparisons can wind up lead to relating Shidou to Sasara a member of the Go Home Club who's heavily associated if not thematically paired with Machina. Someone else who despite being the eldest in 2 is just now coming to terms to death as she has to come to terms with the end of her life. Very similarly to Shidou she doesn't really grasp it before this because she didn't really have to face it head on in this way before and thought very little of it.

It's not as though she has any regrets either. Her life is fine. In fact the only reason she's here is because she just wanted to live her life over. Not because she regretted anything in particular it was just so good she wanted to do it again.

In contrast Machina has been reckoning with the concept of death from a far younger age. It's implied that he quite recently lost a family member to it and has been stricken with a fear of death since that incident. Wishing to become a cyborg in order to avoid it and not being able to reckon with the fact with every breath taken we all move ever closer to our own inevitable demise.

His song having choice Shidou esque lines such as-

"I wished for those days to remain idyllic. I wished for the power to protect them. Even if it costs me everything I have."

And the remix starting with the repeated spiraling line of-

"I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I can't stand it. I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I can't stand it. I can't stand it, I can't stand it- I can't stand it what a tragedy it is to be doomed to death at birth."

While the regular version begins with,

"Once you draw your last remaining breath even memories you have clung to will scatter into ash. As I realize what a curse a beating heart is the mourners gather and laugh at a hollow coffin."

Machina is at the most of middle school age. This kid was just going through it. Don't believe me here's what the game said on it outside of the song,

In his first year of middle school, his grandmother passed, profoundly impacting his views on mortality.

Machina was not particularly close with his grandmother. Though she spoiled him as a child, he began talking to her less and less as he grew into an adolescent. She passed soon thereafter, marking the first time an immediate relative had died.

Machina became so afraid of death that he couldn't even breath without being in mortal terror of his own inevitable decay at the hands of death itself.

As he continued to study death, he learned about a structure in human cells known as "telomeres."

Telomeres are shortened every time a cell divides. Once they fall below a critical limit, new cells can no longer form, spelling death.

In other words, even just the mere act of existence marches one toward an inexorable end.

It's a simple fact, really. No matter how meaningfully one lives, how happy they are, or how carefully they avoid harm and injury, as long as their cells continue to divide, they too will die. Upon realizing that human life was but a one-way ticket with a final destination, Machina fell into the depths of despair.

Though he knew it was a fool's errand, he would hold his breath and try to stay in bed, living life with as little activity as possible in hopes it would keep death at bay, if even slightly.

He stopped going to school, and was beset by panic attacks each night.

I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?

The answer for Machina was,

No, it's not.

Because to breath is to die a million small deaths as your cells divide as though counting down to the end of your lifespan. Like a cursed hourglass full of cells instead of sand.

Which wouldn't be applicable to any other thing ever actually,

Nope not one thing this can be applied to.

A times it's pretty easy to draw comparisons between these two series. Even outside of the fact both creators Milgram worked on these games. Deco making the song Love Scope for Stork in Caligula Effect Overdose.

Whether the character the prisoners are compared to is a musician or a Go Home Club member matters very little. This is because within Caligula the Go Home Club Members and the Musicians generally parallel each other in some ways anyhow. So comparing a prisoners to any of them will inevitably lead to comparing them to someone else in the series.

Plus, the cast in Caligula tends to be visually paired off in a way that helps that stand out more. As well as in ways that most Milgram fans would be familiar with. Such as youngest and oldest which is the case with Sasara and Machina.

However, Milgram fans should be familiar with this since it’s used again in Milgram with Kazui and Amane.

In Caligula Effect Yamanaka uses the juxtaposition of these characters ages to discuss the concept and fear of death. Something that does wonders as it highlights how someone at the end of their life displays their fear of death by trying to rush towards it as though that gives them anymore control over it occurring while someone younger will try to avoid it even if that avoidance hinders them from truly living.

In either case the fear is still there and very real. If not incredibly debilitating in some or most ways.

Due to the nature of Caligula Effect where there are no wrong parties only wrongs being done.

Don't get me wrong there are some objectively in the wrong parties within the narrative. In fact every character here is objectively wrong at some point. I believe some people like to trick themselves into believing the characters in Caligula Effect Overdose were the worst of them and the ones in two are so much better actually.

Yet, the ones within two are also terrible. They're just tentatively politically correct while being terrible.

Which is a very superficial way to define if someone is a bad person. On top of that they don't remain politically correct at all times either.

Everyone's Bad Here

Firstly this series is named Caligula Effect. The Caligula Effect is a term used in Japan to describe the desire to do something that is forbidden or socially unacceptable.

Source: Den Faminico Gamer interview with The Caligula Effect producer Takuya Yamanaka (The DigiLab)

Given that it should be no surprise that none of the behaviors or mannerisms displayed in either of these games are meant to be viewed a admirable or healthy. The character discussed in this answer is from Caligula Effect Overdose though.

So let's turn it back to the second games cast real quick. Remember how in the previous segment I stated they don't remain politically correct. Well that's because some of them are really ableist which I've never seen discussed outside of Doktor. I definitely believe it should be because like one of the Go Home Club members is ableist too.

Just blatantly. So, like actually...

This character literally tells the player yeah killing someone is better than letting them live with a possible physical disability. Like just blatantly agrees with Doktor. I guess they get a pass because internalized ableism is a thing though. Even if it's internalized it's still fucking ableism. I mean just because someone points it at themselves too doesn't make them better than any other fucking ableist- But okay.

This is the space to work on yourself this isn't about crime and punishment. This isn't about sin.

You know for me personally- if it's between using a mobility aid and being in the fucking ground... Um, ya know my pride ain't high enough to think the latter is better and more respectable. Call me ignorant but I'd rather be alive with some difficulties than dead.

This isn't the worst thing characters in Caligula Effect have done by the way.

Some of them are murderers too. Not just one of them multiple of them are murderers and attempted murderers. Yet, if we stay here all day talking about what murderers in the Caligula Effect series are forgivable in the eyes of the audience and which are not- I’m gonna end up writing a tangent that’s devolves into Marie is basically Eiji but a girl, more impoverished (Eiji was born into a finacially well off family his father was a lawyer with a law firm), different diagnosis (Eiji's issue is labeled as Psychopathy and Marie's Sociopathy in Caligula Effect Overdose) didn’t get kidnapped (had abusive family instead barring her grandma who was not abusive canonically), and happened to get a redemption arc (because she wasn't killed by a Final Destination style rube goldberg machine of shenanigans out of the clear blue fucking sky that wound up saving the life of another character that fell off a twenty story building).

I feel like I have the right to be mad actually.

Oh while also not having ableism imposed upon her characterization in a way that demonized and vilified her. She got hit with the we need to put you out off your misery ableism not the we need to spare ourselves from the misery of knowing people like you exist ableism. So, we're going to frame this as though there's something uniquely evil and fucked up about you actually and everyone else here is super normal. In fact some of them could tell you were evil just from the look in your eyes. You had the eyes of a snake not a normal person.

Oh, but it gets worse.

Marie canonically killed multiple people, abducted others, locked the first Go Home Club in a room for three days at a point only giving them cough drops before giving them drugged food-

Star here! Something to be noted; when this first happened, Gunsli enjoyed Marie doing this-

Gunsli : That is true when this first happened this was fine I very much enjoyed it. I was all for it really. That was before listening to people defend or outright ignore the things she did because,

"She was always really good deep down. I always knew it! Because I'm a great judge of character and I could never like an evil fictional character because what would that say about me? My fragile ego wouldn't be able to take it. I'd be crushed and it would be the works fault for tricking me. So she needs to be good because that's the only way for me to know I'm good."

Look past your ego it's really never that deep.

Liking an evil character- A fictional construct is fine as long as that like is not negatively impacting reality. Put the mirror down. Sometimes a character being bad and a person liking said character anyway doesn't reflect on that person at all unless they make it reflect on them which is their choice to.

Also, like... No she wasn't clearly good deep down, no one saw that ahead of time, most fans didn't even play these games in order. Or read the light novel where it basically states people saying your past doesn't matter are ignorant.

Back to the other things she did not that we've touched on that light novel- Attempted to push the one person who trusted her down a flight of stairs, framed another person that trusted her misleading their friends into believing they had betrayed them. Ruined countless friendships for her personal enjoyment in and outside of Mobius. She was doing that like she was trying to win the gold in shit starting. Marie was in that bitch like this when it came to instigating.

While Eiji, to the stories own admission, never kills anyone with his with his own hands. Now hold on before you start thinking what the hell- Eiji Biwasaka is still a terrible person too. He believes there's no way men and women can just be friends (wink-wink , nudge- nudge he texts this to the protagonist by the way). Is heavily implied to be in love with the protagonist in subtle ways like many characters in the series are. This isn't a crime just fun to note because if the protagonist takes the betray route and he's there he is genuinely upset. How do I know this?

I kept him alive because I wanted to see his reaction when I did it. Moving forward.

He's mostly upset that the protagonist didn't let him in on it which is funny and fair. Then genuinely enraged by the betrayal and is like you have to die now for pulling one over on him. Which again aww you- stay mad about it. He gets egregiously upset at the protagonist trying to get to know him on a deeper level and is acutely angered by criticism or being told what to do in any capacity.

Literally any form consequence for his actions he does not take kindly.

He tries to attack Kuchinashi. Almost hitting her with his catharsis weapon which is a whip. Similar to what a character within two does to one of the musicians but seemingly gets no flack for it. Like, um, well- Ya know that character is not Eiji. Certainly the character is still great in their own ways but got damn Eiji Biwasaka was something else. That man was trash. Absolute garbage and I am dumpster diving. You got me fucked up if you think I wasn't there for it.

It was amazing. He did not wanna change. He was never going to change. He leaves because he didn't want to change.

He literally removes himself from the narrative and team because the protagonist tries to hold him accountable. Then still somehow manages to get where the plot is. Because he was that competent. Certainly he had to die in a Final Destination esque way nothing else could've killed him. Unimportant side note here he's trying to murder someone within Mobius. Even though that person is a terrible piece of shit he is still trying to kill them.

Not because they're terrible but because leaving them alive may end up causing him trouble in the long run.

This is because he blackmailed this other party into killing someone that was taking Eiji to court for embezzling from the elderly (the mother of the man taking him to court) and the disabled (not the mother he had just been embezzling for a while). He did this even though everything for the case was gathered and he'd be facing prison time regardless. He just did that shit as a fuck you on the way out because he could. It did not serve him in any way.

How did he blackmail this guy well by bringing up his insanity plea was in fact bullshit and he could hypothetically have this man retried or that plea brought under scrutiny. Because as I mentioned before this man was acquitted and then continued to do the same shit. So, don't get it twisted Eiji and Marie are no better or worse than each other.

However, in contrast to Marie who is indulged throughout all of the first game or you can't even continue her character story Eiji is actively stopped from killing this guy. A guy who physically assaulted a person in an underground idol group with a baseball bat blinding her.

Something that led to her suicide later.

Which might I note! Eiji is blamed for that suicide not the guy who fucking did the assault! No, not him. Eiji's blamed for her suicide because he did his job as a lawyer and got this guy acquitted on a plea of insanity. Then to add insult to injury the guy who did the assault then still behaves in a way that showcases he will continue to be this way and do those things again to other idols.

Is given that same excuse again like,

"No, he's clearly mentally unwell."

Okay he's clearly mentally unwell- Eiji should have known better though. He's just evil. He doesn't need help fuck that guy!

Oh, Marie do you need a hand? Do need a special little safe space in Mobius to work out all your issues. Here you go μ (Mu) giftwrapped it for you too sweetie. You want brand new adoptive parents- Don't worry that's included take all the time you need!

The difference between how I treat my angelic daughter versus my rat bastard son.

The difference in writing does show Yamanaka's development as a scenario writer and personal growth when it comes to portraying these issues. However it is literally the difference between night and day.

Also both of these people are Go Home Club members.

I think I may have failed to mention that before. I just really wanted people to grasp the severity of their actions before I mentioned it really. These are your teammates. The people you're trying to get home with.

Other things done by teammates include but aren't limited too,

Fatphobia, transphobia, doxing, harassment, sexual harassment, negligence resulting in death, child abandonment/neglect, assault, cyber terrorism (which the protagonist of one can take part in), classism, sexism (misandry), identity theft, insurgency, stalking, false imprisonment, murder, attempted murder, generally be hateful spiteful people with the strongest hater energy on earth at times, literally being musicians before Go Home Club Members (which isn't a crime but counts towards the point here and occurred twice).

Marie, however, is essentially is given dissociative identity disorder by virtue of a new set of memories being created for her- ones separated from her trauma and it's subsequent effects. She also, as mentioned in this post, was given a pocket dimension so she could have the space and time to grow independently from that trauma.

This pocket dimension is a smaller subsect of Mobius and relies on Marie's existence within it to function.

It is also possible to get an alternative ending of and get out of this micro-mobius earlier by killing her. This is one of the endings I decided to get. So, from here we know that the protagonists of the Caligula Effect games can commit murder, commit cyber terrorism that ends up destroying the entire world at most and on the smallest scale Japan if the player choses to, betray all of their teammates that they make over the course of the game very similarly to what Marie does in one.

So, once again- I'm not faulting the grind I'm just stating the crimes.

All in order to make it clear to anyone reading this much that no one here is a good person. So it does not matter if some prisoners are Go Home Club members or musicians being on or the other does not make any prisoner better or worse. Everyone here is bad.

Go Home Club or Musician

Okay, so I bet some are wondering why I said all that. I must admit it was a very long way of getting to this point. However, I basically wanted to make it abundantly clear to anyone who comes across this that whether a character is Musician or part of the Go Home Club in Caligula Effect it does not equate to them being a good person.

Because the characters in Caligula Effect are not good people. They're not and they aren't meant to be.

The characters within the Caligula Effect series are individuals that have a lot of work to do on themselves. Who are in Mobius either by choice or due to the fact that they were suffering in reality/had regrets that they felt they could not change in the real world. They are all individuals who chose escapism over facing their issues head on and the series discusses the benefits and shortcomings of living that way.

Most if not all of them wound up in Mobius due to someone's misguided attempt in trying to help them.

I felt it was necessary to highlight hey the Go Home Club doesn't equal the heroes and the Musicians don't equate to the villains. They are just two groups in opposition of each other. There are people just as bad if not worse in both teams.

The only thing that decides whether someone will be in the Go Home Club or a Musician is their desire to go home.

If the character wants to go home or has doubts about Mobius in general they will fall into the Go Home Club category. If the character wants to stay in Mobius and believes full heartedly they can gain something from it even if they only plan to do that and then leave- That's a musician.

The musicians turned Go Home Club Members literally only become that later because they genuinely do want to go home and face those issues head on despite their doubts. This is one of the things that make it pretty clear that Caligula Effect is more so about rehabilitation and the many forms that can take.

So as much as I'd like to go this is who I'd like to be Musician's and Go Home Club members. The answer that I provided at the beginning of this is firmly rooted within this logic. Since we can see where the characters lie in regards to this based on how they engage with Milgram itself.

The characters have gone on record voicing their misgivings about Milgram or the fact that they are in favor of it. Some even going as far as blatantly stating that they want to go home or never want to leave.

Something that made this a lot easier to figure out once I looked at it from that angle. At least when it comes to answer this in a way that works off of Caligula Effect's own logic to some degree. This is why I highlighted that musicians do become go home club members.

Because it shows the possibility of switching between the two parties at ones discretion. Something the series plays around with itself in many ways.

So let's start with the Go Home Club prisoners. (And heads up, this section is being written up by @sinfulequity o/. Also as a heads up, I used Rochi's translations for the portal timelines and questionings!)

Yuno

Now Yuno starts off not minding being here. But even from the beginning, you can tell that she doesn't consider staying here permanently as an option

Es: [clears throat] It’s about the few days you’ve been tried as a prisoner by Milgram. Frankly speaking, how is it? Your life in prison. Yuno: Hmm, it’s surprisingly fun? I do have worries about how my family is doing, but… It’s kinda like one of those strange, personal experiences.  Es: Fun…is it? Yuno: That’s right. The other prisoners are all entertaining, we sound each other out on various things, and the vibe’s pretty nice as well. In such conditions, observing other people sure does make for great fun, you feel?

Due to the atmosphere, she is enjoying herself- but that changes in the interim between trial one and trial two alluded to in this portal timeline.

21/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday) Mu: Yuno. Don’t you have something to say to me? Yuno: Huh? To you? Me? ……ahh, uh? Your birthday, right? Happy birthday~ Mu: How mean… Since it’s my birthday, I really wish you’d said something before I had to come and tell you myself. Yuno: Right, right, I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful in future~ Later! Haha… things have become even more of a bother………so was that Mu-chan’s real personality, then? It’s probably because the guard did something, right?

By the time the second trial has started, whatever fun she gained from being in milgram has vanished. Only leaving her with the desire to get out of there. Even going so far as to question Es if they really believe that this environment is enjoyable any more.

Yuno: Well, if I were to say what I’m trying to say…it’s fucking bothersome. Es: … Yuno: I said so at the start, didn’t I? That punishing people outside of the law is boundless. And so I had no interest in Milgram. Es: Yes, I remember. You said that you would pay my judgment no mind and remain as you were. Yuno: Oh! That’s right! I’m happy you remembered. But, you know, I didn’t exactly hate it, Milgram. It’s nothing but weird people but it was warmer than my day-to-day life. Es: It did appear as though you were having fun. Yuno: Yes, it was fun! They may be murderers, but they’re interesting people! It puts me at ease, in a way, that we’re all people lacking in something. Es: You are saying that that changed and it’s my fault? Yuno: Yep! This situation’s bothersome-ness has won out over the fun so I am extremely cooled off. That is all. Es: … Yuno: And? Are you satisfied with this situation? Es: You all are murderers. In order to clarify your sins, this job is necessary. Milgram will make clear your essences and truths- Yuno: That. Does it not hold up unless you desperately repeat it back to yourself?

This is further explored in her answers for the second trial questioning. Outright stating that she's bored and wants to leave and passive aggressively implying that Milgram doesn't really have a true purpose, since the law already exists.

Q.03 Do you want to leave Milgram? Yuno: To be honest I’m bored of it now. I kinda want to leave already Q.19 Would you forgive the other prisoners? Yuno: That’s not something for one person to decide on their own Isn’t that what we have laws for?

It's a bit reminiscent of how she treats Mu now, right?

Futa

Most of his first voice drama is about wanting to get out of Milgram. If it isn't about that, then it's him getting flustered over how Es is pushing him. But here are a few specific moments

Es: What’s wrong? Are you so paralysed with fear that you can’t even stand up? Futa: Don’t mock me! Anyways, I won’t even accept that I’m a prisoner. Bringing me to this weird-ass place is a violation of my human rights! Es: You won’t accept that you’re a prisoner—is that so?  Futa: Of course I won’t! You’re confining and imprisoning an innocent human being here! That makes you so much more of a fucking criminal, doesn’t it? All of the other guys have just obediently accepted it for some reason, but you won’t fool me!

Futa: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Don’t go around evaluating people like you’re better than everyone else. Once I get outta here, I’m so gonna sue this place! You as well! You better not be thinking that you’ll get off scot-free! Es: Hmm~? Futa: I’ll never forgive you bad guys. And, this place is called Milgram—I’ll crush it down as well! 

After the interim and trial two's start, this desire to get out of Milgram has strengthened. For the reasons of being harassed by intrusive thoughts and taking a walloping from Kotoko.

Futa: Right…! It wasn’t just me alone who was ganging up on the person who died! There’s no way to know whose comments lead to their death! Es: That might be true. You might not be the only one who needs to be judged for this. But… Futa: Then – isn’t it weird that I’m the only one who has to go through all of this? Being locked up in a weird nonsensical prison, having to let some brat lecture me, being faced with eyes constantly judging me… And even if– even if the person I was picking on online died… I didn’t think they would die! I just thought that wrong things are wrong, and that a crime is a crime! You get that, don’t you? See? Aren’t we the same?

As he himself states, he finds it odd that he was the only person picked out of a large group to be in Milgram. He doesn't want to be here, he doesn't find this fair and he's at the limit of his sanity.

Mu

Mu is a tricky one, because you would think that she wants to stay here (outside of the initial anxiety in trial one)

Es: Hm… So that’s the case, is it? How’s life in Milgram then? Mu: I can’t even begin to describe it. I just want to hurry up and go back home!  Es: Oh? Why is that? You lot are given a decent amount of freedom here. We’re granting you the few indulgences which exist as well. In fact, even you’ve sent in a request asking for a crepe cake as well.  Mu: That’s… That’s true, but… And, I did eat the crepe cake, but… I just really wanna go home. Es: Hm. Mu: I’m sure that mummy and daddy are worried about me! [cries again] What even is this place? Why did you even have to bring me here? 

Mu: Yeah, it is. Prison guard, you’re human as well, so… I’ll do my best. I’ll figure out what kinda person you’re fond of. Even though you’re a sad case who talks to rabbits. [giggles] Es: That’s enough. Our conversations don’t have any flow to them, so that’s not gonna happen.  Mu: I’ll definitely return home. I’ll return home to mummy and daddy. So, if I get you to forgive me, I’ll be able to go back home for sure, right? Es: I don’t really know. Mu: Yeah… Actually… If I think about it, compared to those good-for-nothing police trying to catch me—someone who’s definitely not in the wrong—Milgram might just be better for me.

As we all can see, she states that maybe Milgram would be a better place for her to stay. At least in comparison to the prospect of being arrested and tried by the police. However, that is a coercive line of thinking, in and of itself. It's like being between a rock and a hard place. Furthermore, it implies that were the police not an issue, she'd immediately want to go back home again. And despite how comfortable she has gotten, Mu shows a good deal of concern towards how her parents are doing/worrying about her.

20/06/17 Shidou: ……do you mind if we talk? It seems you’ve relaxed a bit more recently, Kusunoki-kun. Mu: Eh…… yeah, definitely compared to the start…… just a bit. But I’m still scared…… we still don’t know what they might do to us. I want to go home soon…… I wonder what’s happening there…… Papa and Mama must be really worried…… Shidou: That’s good…… You were crying so much, so I was concerned for you.……yeah, I’m sure. Your family will definitely be worrying about you. I…… hope you can go back soon. Mu: Shidou-san…… did you come here to comfort me……? I’m sorry, I’d thought you were…… a scary person…… fufu.

03 - “It was really scary at the beginning, but now it’s nice and laid-back. And also… Haruka-kun is really nice! He’ll listen to anything I tell him.” 05 - “I’ve been starting to think that maybe I’d like to stay here forever… The outside world only ever does bad things to me. Though, I’d be a bit sad that I wouldn’t get to see papa and mama again…”

Mu: Ah, it’s been a while, Warden-san. – Things have gotten tough, haven’t they… Everyone seems to be struggling and the whole atmosphere feels tense because everyone’s struggling, it’s really troublesome. Es: Is that so? Mu: But as for me, I think Milgram has become a lot more comfortable! I know now that I can get whatever I want if I ask for it, so I don’t need to be so on edge anymore. Es: … Mu: You did say that you and Milgram are our allies, and maybe you were right all along!

She's ultimately carved a place for herself in Milgram. However, she also won't let the "setting" of Milgram affect how she considers herself.

Mu: Anyway… I think you would do good to forgive me. Then Haruka-kun will be safe too. Ah, actually, couldn’t you just forgive everyone? Then Kotoko-san won’t run amok, and you won’t have to think about all the difficult stuff. Es: That is… a very attractive proposal. Mu: Right? (giggles) Es: Abandoning all the thinking… How nice it would be if I could just do that. Mu: … If you ask me, I don’t really get why you don’t do it… Es: Because this is the role I’m playing. Mu: But the role was given to you, wasn’t it? You didn’t end up doing this because you wanted to, right? It’s not a dream you’ve had for a long time or anything, right, Warden-san? So there’s no need to let it tie you down. Couldn’t you just quit? Es: What are you… Mu: Warden-san, we call you “Warden” because that’s what you are, right? I was assigned to be a prisoner, but that doesn’t mean my heart will become just that of a “prisoner” too. After all, I’m still me.

Kazui

Funny- for someone who said he's going to take a wait and see approach, he comes straight out of the gate about his intent to find a way out to Es

Kazui: Really – sorry, sorry! I really had no intention of causing you harm, Warden-kun. I was simply looking to safely gather some information and assess the situation in this prison a little better. Es: Huh? Kazui: You see, depending on who they are, once someone is here it might be impossible for them to break out. I'm the oldest here, so naturally, I should be the one testing how far we can go against you.

He goes on to explain in his first questioning that he does have concerns about Milgram but doesn't want to express them.

Q.20 Do you have any complaints about your imprisonment? Kazui: I mean I do have some. But y’know, there’s some things about it that are so far removed from daily life. It’s easier to just not think too hard about it.

Progressing to trial two, Kazui is now disappointed in Milgram. It gave such high expectations for itself, and how it could judge crimes deemed fine by the law and-

Kazui: I haven’t forgiven myself… even if my lies are forgiven, it won’t resonate [with me]. It might just be both of these. All the lies I’ve told are tying me down. Ever since I was little, I’ve never truly opened myself to anyone. But in the end, people can’t be saved if they don’t [open up]. And by now, it’s gotten to a point where I can’t do it by myself anymore… (machinery whirrs, bell rings) Kazui: I did think Milgram would be able to force its way past that, though. Es: Is that an attempt at provocation? Kazui: You didn’t manage to reach my sin. Es: … Kazui: Even though I want you to… Milgram isn’t so great after all, is it?

-it really is better to be a let down, than let down, huh.

Mikoto

He has also stated from the start that he didn't want to be here. He has a job after all! He has rent to pay, obligations to meet- are you going to take care of it guard? You better, you know~

Es: Your name and age? Mikoto: Uh… Mikoto Kayano, 23. Wait, no! I’ve been wanting to talk to you this whole time, Warden-kun! Es: What is it? Make it short. Mikoto: Alright… when is this whole thing going to end? Es: Hah? Mikoto: No, it’s obvious, isn’t it?! Suddenly being dragged to a place like this, being told all this weird stuff about killers and all that– is this some kind of comedy? A reality TV show? One of those monitoring things? I’ve been holding on to that thought this whole time, and that was also the reason I tried to get along with the others, y'know – because that’ll look better on a TV show, right?! – but look, this is stretching out for way too long…! What’s up with this? Es: (sigh) You really still believe that? That Milgram is some kind of joke? Mikoto: I do! Of course I do! I mean… I really don’t remember anything of note. Even if you talk about sins or murderers– I don’t know about any of that! I’m just a normal worker at a company…

Mikoto: What’s with that?! Then aren’t you getting ahead of yourself, just labelling me a murderer like that? Es: I’m not. Milgram tells me that you did it. That’s enough for me. Mikoto: Why are you just blindly believing that? There’s no way of getting through to you…! (sigh) Anyway. I really don’t know anything! Nor have I killed anybody, or done anything bad! I was just living an ordinary, everyday life… and yet I got dragged into something this weird! (slams hands on the desk) Of course I want to think of all this as a joke…! Wouldn’t anyone? Es: (non-committal hum) Mikoto: I have my own life, you know? And I just got accepted into the company that I was aiming for… If I get fired, you’ll have to take responsibility for that.

Oh? What's that guard? He's being blamed for something he hasn't even done? For shame, for shame! Do you know how much this will hurt an innocent- no, an honest man?

04 - “It’s just so much that I don’t understand. Honestly. Why do I have to face this kind of fate…? I can’t do this.”

Mikoto: Usually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end, right? I’m pretty good at that. Making things work out to the best of my abilities. Es: Is that so… Mikoto: (laughs) …But… it’s not coming to an end. All of this. With things I’ve never even heard before, the whole ti— Es: … Mikoto: —the whole time… I have to make all these irritating experiences…!

He is stressed. He is reaching his limit. Can't you let off just a little? Isn't it unfair to punish someone for dreaming?

Es: In precise terms, it’s called dissociative identity disorder. Generally speaking, it refers to when a person experiences severe pain or stress, and a new personality is created to try and isolate the original personality from the resulting trauma. Mikoto: Yeah. I… probably come out to ease the stress Boku experiences. The fact that I come out for longer just means that Boku is constantly under extreme stress. Es: Stress… Namely the environment of Milgram, right? Mikoto: Right. Especially the fact that you judged against forgiving Boku is causing a lot of stress. That’s why he’s entrusting me with his heart.

Es: Even if it was you, John, who was in your body at the time – there’s no way for you to prove that. At the very least not in a way that would be accepted in court. It could still be judged that you’re pretending— Mikoto: You…!! What do you think? Es: I…? Mikoto: I’m the one who did it! Boku didn’t do it! You know that because of Milgram! I don’t care about the law, I want to know what you think!

Don't worry; he'll forgive you if you choose right- right?

And now for the Musician prisoners.

Haruka

This shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone who's noticed, but he holds Milgram in high regard. It's the first place he's felt fully accepted. He's also started to learn how to connect with people in here- something he felt he always had difficulty with before

Es: I’m the prison guard. That just now is how I’ll educate you prisoners. I’m allowed to do so. [grabs Haruka] Got that? Listen carefully, prisoner number one. I’ll say it any number of times. I’m the prison guard. Understanding your true nature is my job. No matter what you are or whatever nasty work you’ve done, I’ll see all of it. Making judgments is my job. To say something like that… “You’ll be abandoned”? Don’t take me so lightly. Until I know your sins and complete my judgement as to whether they’re forgivable or unforgivable, you’re objects for me to govern(2) Don’t think I’ll let you escape.  Haruka: Prison guard… Es: Wait a second, Haruka. What are you smirking for? Haruka: Ah, I’m sorry. It must be creepy, right? Es: It does creep me out. [throws Haruka] Haruka: Ah, you’ve got it wrong… This is a strange thing to say, but it made me a bit happy. Es: Happy? Haruka: Yeah.  Es: What an odd thing to say, even if I’m the one saying that. Being imprisoned, being restrained, even being interrogated like this too, isn’t it natural to get angry in these kinds of situations? Hm… Now you mention it, you were always like that from the beginning. There’s a gloominess about you, but you’re immune to the chaos of Milgram itself. The point is, reacting like Futa and Mu would have made more sense. Haruka: That’s right. Futa got really angry. Scary—Ah, no, I mean, this is Milgram, isn’t it? I don’t really know what it’s for. But, having you, the prison guard, take some interest in me, listening to the various things I say… For some reason, it made me happy and such. Es: Hm.. Haruka: Even if that is your job. Even if it’s just to reveal the wrong things I’ve done.

Q.12 Tell us your hobby. Haruka: I like talking with the other prisoners Q.22 What do you think of the prison outfits? Haruka: They’re kind of relaxing Q.23 Is there anything you’d like to have sent to you there? Haruka: Not particularly Q.25 When you get out of here, where do you want to go? Haruka: I can’t think of anywhere

As Milgram continued to progress, Haruka gains more confidence. And has grown more comfortable in Milgram as a result. He states that he likes himself now. He doesn't want to leave this environment that has been so accommodating to him.

Es: You… Are you really Haruka Sakurai? Haruka: Eh? Wh-what are you saying? It is me! But everyone has been telling me that recently – that I’ve changed. Es: Yeah. When I think back to how you were trembling in fear back during the first trial… you sure have gotten bolder. Haruka: (giggles) Es: I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing though… Haruka: (laughs) If I’ve changed, then I’m glad! Up until now, I’ve always really hated myself, that’s why… Es: Hm? Haruka: A-ah, I think the reason I’ve become like this is because I had two benefactors, and one of them is you, Warden-san, so– Es: Huh? Haruka: I wanted to thank you, Warden-san! Es: Thank me? Haruka: Because you forgave me, Warden-san!

Q.01 Do you love yourself? Haruka: I think I like myself now Q.03 Do you want to leave Milgram? Haruka: I want to stay here forever Q.18 Which of the other prisoners is most like you? Haruka: Nobody They’re all amazing people

Well- maybe that'll change with this new verdict? Who's to say.

Shidou

Shidou wants one thing out of Milgram, and it's disgusting a death sentence. Preferably stamped and signed by a child (like Es).

Es: You sure are composed, aren’t you?  Shido: That’s just my personality. I just simply don’t think bad of it—this place, I mean.  Es: You mean, Milgram? Shido: Yeah, this place will put me to death.  Es: What? Shido: I might not get a golden opportunity like this again, so I’ll get straight to the point. Es… You decide how the prisoners will be dealt with, right?  Es: Yeah. That’s right. Shido: The death penalty is what I’m hoping for. Thank you in advance. 

However, with the ongoing events in Milgram, his viewpoint has become conflicted. He still wants to die, but he doesn't want others to. However, he's the closest thing to medical help that they have so he can't die just yet.

Shidou: Es-kun. I’ve killed a lot of people. Like I previously told you in the interrogation, I’ve killed for scientific reasons as well. So… Es: Are you about to beg me not to forgive you again? Even though I’ve already told you it’s no use? Shidou: That’s right. Please don’t forgive me… is what I would like to ask. Es: … Shidou: I… “I don’t want to be forgiven”. That feeling of mine remains the same. I need to be punished. I need to atone for my sins. I don’t think Milgram is in the right, but…! There is no better place than this to atone for my crimes. But… as long as Milgram continues like this… we won’t be able to save those who get injured if I don’t get forgiven!

Shidou: … That won’t do… I mustn’t be forgiven. Otherwise… the countless lives I’ve taken will never be paid back.  Es: Heh. If you’re really trying to give your life as compensation for the people you’ve killed, then there’s no reason to stay alive that will hold up, anyway.

Mahiru

It's not quite an intrinsic desire to stay in Milgram specifically. But what kind of girl wouldn't love a heart pounding adventure~? The mystery, the thrill- it's enough to make your heart burst!

Mahiru: [giggles] Just then, it felt like I was waiting for my date to arrive. Kinda made my heart flutter.  Es: I’m not exactly one to talk, but… I’m surprised that you can say such a thing despite being in this prison. Mahiru: Really~? But, this unfamiliar setting makes things super romantic, you know? Thanks to it, every day has been such a delight.

20/06/10 Futa: Hey, why are you acting so carefree all the time? You’re the oldest of the girls here, you should act it and deal with the others properly. Mahiru: Eh~? I’m acting carefree~? But maybe you’re right. I mean, I…… ah, let’s make this a quiz. Hey, Futa-kun. What do you think I like doing? Tick, tick, tick, tick…… Futa: Ahh, what even is this mood you’ve started. It’s annoying. Just tell me the answer already. Mahiru: Bzzt! Time’s up! The correct answer is “travelling” and “exciting things”~ You don’t get many chances at a lifestyle as exciting as this, right? So of course I’m going to be a bit carefree, ufufu~

She may have endured a lot of pain in the interim period between trial one and two, but that doesn't stop her from enjoying Milgram and the people in it! It just means that she thinks her way of loving is unforgivable now.

05 - “Spending my time at Milgram, I’ve really grown to love everyone here. I love you as well, Es-kun! But… me loving people can’t be forgiven, right…?”

Hey, tell her; what isn't she doing right?

Amane

Amane is very aware that Milgram isn't normal. But neither was her upbringing, so maybe she'll fit right in here? Maybe she'll fit in so much that the religion that she adheres to will fit like a glove. And if not... then that just makes this yet another trial from god, right?

Es: Geez… You’re quite something for your age. Even most adults would be at least a bit anxious in an environment like this. Amane: Eh? It’s not scary at all. After all, God is there to protect me! Es: In that aspect, you really are a child… Amane: Of course this is a rather unusual experience, but I am aware that it is something like a trial. I am certain that, once I have overcome this, I will be able to achieve further personal growth once more.

Amane: Hm. You may say it’s wrong, but isn’t what you are doing here a crime as well? Well, I do have something more important to me than the general law, so I will not try to judge(/look down on) you either, Warden-san. Es: Geez, you’re so stubborn– Amane: You see! I don’t hate Milgram, either. Rather than one single law, there are other standards to judge my sins by. And those are closer to my spirit, as well!  Es: Hmm. Amane: The standards that judge my sins are somewhere else – in my heart, my blood, my entire body, they are firmly rooted in all those places! Es: And within those standards, your murder was not a sin? Amane: Exactly! Es: I see. Amane: Ah, I am looking forward to it! Seeing whether your judgement will align with that of these higher standards! If that is the case, maybe Milgram would be the right world for us to live in, rather than the outside world! Milgram relies on your judgement, isn’t that right? In that case, you could become the mediator for a far more righteous world!!

Q.20 Do you have any complaints about your imprisonment? Amane: No, since this is a trial set for me by God.

Of course, being rejected and having those voices in her head between trial one and two wasn't helpful. But she's willing to talk this out. You've talked before and Amane is a kind girl, willing to give chances.

Amane: Warden. Es: What is it, Prisoner? Amane: We’ve been disappointed by you. Es: Hah? Amane: Even though we could sense the possibility of the new world we desire here in Milgram… and in you. Es: I don’t care how much you look down on me. I told you that won’t work. Amane: Furthermore, you may say incomprehensible things, such as us “not being forgiven”… Es: Oi. Amane: But we are generous. For now, let us make some time for a conversation with you. After all, our history is one that is built on dialogue.

Es: Shut your mouth…! I am the one casting the judgements here! Amane: Hehehe. And how does that set you apart from us? Es: … I told you to shut up… Listen to what I’m telling you. Amane: Hehe… This is nice. If the world you’re striving for is admirable in my eyes… That is to say…

Even to the sinners that deny her.

Kotoko

Kotoko has never really hid the fact that she wants to co-operate with Milgram- with Es. As someone who wants to work outside of the law, a place like Milgram is almost too good to be true.

Kotoko: Don’t space out, the interrogation isn't over. Es: A-ahh.. yeah. Kotoko: Eh, well, if you're done with it anyway, then it’s not a problem. Guard-san. No… Es. Don’t you want to join forces with me? I think the two of us would make good partners. Es: Join.. forces with you? Kotoko: With you, in the role of a prison guard, with information you gather from the interrogations, and me, in the role of a prisoner, with information I gather from my daily life here… Working together and sharing our findings. What do you think? Es: Stop joking around. Kotoko: Why? I think it’s quite a good bargain. Look, you can view the incident with Kayano Mikoto as a free trial-

Kotoko: Heh. I want to be like you. I refuse to tolerate sin.  Es: You won't tolerate sin? Kotoko: Yes. I despise evil. Hurting the innocent through violence, taking away from others, killing people… I can’t stand it! There are too many cases of the law being unable to deliver a verdict to sinning. Just by exploiting the loopholes in the law, the sinners who have tortured and bullied the weak can still live out their lives unpunished! I want to change this world, but I alone only have so much power. Es: Kotoko…   Kotoko: To be honest, I don't know your true intentions. And I don't know if you are a similar person to me with similar thoughts. In the end, I could be deluding myself with wishful thinking. Even still, this place has multiple methods of deducing good and evil. To me, MILGRAM’s very nature has a kind of charm to it. How about it? Do you understand me as a person now?

Q.01 Who exactly are you? Kotoko: Yuzuriha Kotoko The person who plans on becoming your fangs. Well, that all depends on you though.

21/10/26 (Kotoko’s First Trial) Kotoko: ……come, Es. Let’s fight together.

After having her mindset validated, Kotoko decided to take up her end of her proposed deal in full force. Force being the key word here. She is ready and willing to go at a moments notice (or even without one). Aren't you happy to have such a loyal partner? Hmm? She's acting like if she could take the power you hold at any time, she would?

02 - “Heh. As expected, you wanted us to work together, huh? I’ll be answering to your resolve and your expectations. With all the strength I have.” 03 - “I gave the prisoners that you didn’t forgive what they deserved. Going along with Milgram’s system, I didn’t go all-out yet. I figured you’d need some more time to think about it too. …What’s with that face?” 04 - “I did tell you to follow your intuition and that I’d leave things to you, but you’re really going easy on them. I think I would’ve forgiven less people. Hmph, if only I was the warden [in this place]… Well, no ill feelings, I guess.”

... That's probably just your imagination~ Well, it is what it is. After all, she knows just how taxing this much responsibility is on Es' poor little shoulders... Don't worry. She'll take that burden on.

Kotoko: I know it well. It’s so hard to hold the responsibility of a guard all alone. I’ve also felt this way. You are such a kind person. You can’t stand the prison changing with the power of your choices. So you need someone to be with. Leave all of the dirty work to me. Es: I’m… a kind person? Kotoko: Does your head hurt anymore? Don’t worry. Leave it to me, and together we’ll be able to create the right MILGRAM. Es: I see… that MILGRAM...

Just make sure not to betray her, or go back on your word- okay? It's like Futa said. If you get off now, you're a traitor~

Anyways, I hope this was a fun read! It was fun discussing this and I hope the logic tracked for why every prisoner was put in each group!