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copyrightedsnakes · 8 years ago

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All’s Fair in Love, War, and Politics (1/5)

Title: All’s Fair in Love, War, and Politics

Length: ~33k words (in total, this first part is ~7k)

Summary: In an impulsive moment of weakness, Mark agrees to a bet set by Bob and Wade. He has to be elected class president at his university to win, so to save his hair he now needs a way to get his name out there so that people will vote for him. As luck would have it though, he ends up catching the eye of the school’s radio DJ.

Warnings: Swearing, slight drinking/mentions of alcohol, all of the cheesy fluff tropes rolled into one disaster of a conglomeration

Author’s Note: I’ve never written septiplier before (and of course my first attempt had to be rly frikin long why @ self) be nice to me pls This fic was inspired in large part by @tiny-septic-box-sam‘s fic I’ll Make You A Deal, which I would go tell you to read bc it’s awesome but it’s currently off the air to be turned into a book which is like the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard??? awesome job wow but aNYWAY this, too, is a college au, so I did have Mark drink a little because he didn’t find out about his intolerance until later in life and everyone’s ages are a little out of alignment. I know people can be any age to go to college and that it doesn’t really mean anything, but I just wanted to say that yeah, it’s a little confusing, but just roll with me on this one. It’s going to be alright. also I started this before tyler and ethan joined the squad full time which is why they’re not in here sorry

"Wow, this is a first. I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria."

Mark turned, surprised. Since he was the only person standing in front the waffle maker--which was already an unusual thing to do at half past noon on a Wednesday--he had to assume that the voice from behind was talking to him. He was met with the sight of a young man about his same age, height, and wearing one too many wristbands, bright green fringe peeking out from under his red beanie. He had an empty plate in one hand and his phone in the other, giving Mark a little smile.

"Sorry?"

"I've just never had to wait in line before."

His eyes were so blue, and his eyelashes were so long, and it wasn't until the word "before" that Mark noticed something else.

"Your voice--"

"Is it familiar?" The green-haired stranger asked, the smile on his face growing a little bigger. That was better than any of the adjectives that Mark's mind had been giving him--cute, oh my god, and Irish--so he nodded.

"Yeah, I'm that loudmouth asshole on the university's radio station." He slipped his phone in his pocket, sticking out his hand. "My friends call me Jack, and you can too."

"Oh, thanks." Mark took the handshake, about to give his name in response when the waffle maker dinged. It caught him off guard, nearly forgetting to let go of Jack's hand as he turned around to put the waffle on his plate.

"Are you just now getting food?" Suddenly his roommate Wade was next to him, a plateful of fries, a burger, and a slice of pizza in his hand. "Hurry up! We still haven't talked about if you want to put a mini fridge in your bedroom."

Mark was ushered away as soon as the waffle was on his plate, barely having time to even glance back. Jack had one eyebrow raised, an amused expression on his face. Mark turned his attention to his friend as they found a place to sit, only half paying attention to what Wade was saying. By the time he glanced back at the waffle maker, Jack had disappeared.

Mark was a third year college student, about three-fourths of the way through a biomedical engineering degree, so it surprised him that he had never seen or heard of Jack and his green hair until now.

"Oh, yeah." Wade said, waving a hand dismissively when Mark asked about him, the two of them walking to their off-campus apartment. "Lots of universities have their own radio stations. I've never tuned in to ours, but I hear it's popular. You could probably find it on the school's website."

The topic was dropped once they reached their apartment, Wade pushing the front door open. Mark had spent his first two years of college rooming with his friend Bob, but Bob had wanted to ask his girlfriend Mandy to move in, and after she said yes Wade had been kind enough to offer up his own place. It was a nice apartment, with a faster internet connection, larger rooms, and higher rent.

Mark retreated into his room, wanting to search the internet for a cheap mini fridge and finish his biology homework when he remembered what Wade said about the university radio station, going to the school's website. Sure enough, a link was there. He could listen to it through his computer, plugging in his headphones when it was time for Jack's segment to start.

"Top of the mornin' to ya laddies!"

Jack's voice was loud, explosive, and happy, and it made Mark smile. "I'm your DJ, Jack, and welcome back to 'What the Jack', where I play the weirdest, most eclectic music you've ever heard. Sort of. I try to at least; this damn school likes to censor me."

The curse word was covered poorly with a cough, making Mark laugh out loud.

"Speaking of censoring, for the first song we have an amazing cover by one of my favorite bands--a band that's cost me run-ins with management a good amount of times now, but honestly it's worth it every time just to expose them to you. Sometimes physically. Please enjoy: Take On Me, a bomb cover by Ninja Sex Party!"

Then the song played, Mark making a mental note to check out this band, sexy party ninja or whatever, in his spare time. When the song was over Jack came back on, making a few jokes and horribly dated references as a lead-in to whatever he was playing next. It went on like that for the better half of an hour and Mark genuinely enjoyed it, leaving the station playing as he began his biology homework. A good amount of the music that came on was stuff he had never heard of, and some of it definitely wasn't to his taste, but Jack's commentary was enough to make up for it.

"We'll be taking a few callers, and then I'll do my shout out of the day to wrap up!" Jack announced. "Call in to the show and ask me a question."

He rattled off the station's phone number, Mark even pulling his phone out of his pocket in consideration before shaking his head. He didn't know what he would say, or ask, or anything; he was bound to just embarrass himself.

"Hello! I have my first caller in! Can you state your name?"

"I'm Ginny and I love the show!"

The girl was shouting, Mark wincing and pulling out an earbud.

"Now, Ginny, the only person here that's allowed to be as loud as you're being right now is me." Jack said. "Inside voices, please. That's your question?"

"Your hair is green, so I just wanted to know if green was your favorite color!"

"That's an excellent question, thank you. Actually, my hair is only green because that's what color my twitter theme is right now. My favorite color is actually red. I know--it doesn't make any sense. The color is just nice and bright is all." Jack chuckled, and it made Mark smile. "Next caller!"

"Hey bros, it's Felix!"

"Felix!" Jack shouted back. Even Mark knew who Felix was: the largely popular president of the student body. He and the pursuit of his now-girlfriend Marzia, the university's shy valedictorian and Italian exchange student, had been all over social media the year he had run for office, and many people considered it to be a large factor in his election success. Mark didn't know any details of what a student body president actually did when it came to things like influencing the university, but he didn't have any complaints, so though he didn't know Felix personally, he supposed he liked him fine.

"What's your question?" Jack asked, the smile on his face audible.

"I just wanted to know if you could go ahead and remind everyone about the upcoming Student Representative elections. Sadly I'll be graduating, so we'll need a new president for next year."

"Sure thing, buddy. What are you and Marzia's plans after graduation? Us mere mortals will have to live on without this university's favorite power couple."

"Oh!" Felix laughed. "I've got a job across the country, and I'm going to ask her to move with me. Don't tell her though; it's a secret."

"My lips are sealed."

"Thanks. Remember, Rep elections. Stay awesome bros."

"You heard the man!" Jack exclaimed as Felix hung up. "Student Rep elections. If any of you out there want to boss us around next year, make sure to send in an application to start your campaign. All of the prerequisites and the submission link can be found on the university website." Jack led into another song, some electronic bop that had Mark bouncing his leg. It ended abruptly, a short moment of silence before Jack spoke up.

"Alright, time for my daily shout out. This shout out is to a guy I met today. Now, I don't know who he is--we talked a bit at the waffle station in the cafeteria. I told him my name, but he didn't return the favor. I don't think it was his fault though; he held onto me a little too long when we shook hands, and I know you're not supposed to judge a man by his handshake, but I'm pretty sure that means he's completely in love with me. Which I am totally up and down for, because he was definitely a looker. So this one's for you, handsome waffle stranger."

Jack signed off, and Mark could feel his face completely burning up as James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" began to play. It was him, undoubtedly, that Jack was talking about. Calling him handsome, and telling it to the entire student body. It was flattering, and a good ten minutes passed before Mark's ears returned to their normal, unabashed color.

Mark took to listening to the university's radio station every evening after that. Jack's program came on twenty minutes after Mark's last class of the day ended, and he tried at first to listen to it and eat dinner at the same time, but after choking rather painfully on some macaroni and cheese after trying not to laugh, Mark decided that the food could just wait.

He didn't see Jack around again in person, but somehow Jack saw him. He never said hi, Mark only finding out when the DJ would, on air, mention spotting him walking around campus. By the end of the week, Mark had earned himself two more shout outs, Jack playing both Five Seconds of Summer's 'She's Kinda Hot' and Meek Mill's 'All Eyes On You'. Without fail, any mentions of himself on the radio station caught him off guard and made his face heat up, because listeners had begun ringing in and telling Jack that the two of them should date.

"I don't even know his name." Jack responded, a mock wistful tone to his voice. Then he laughed. "Don't blow this out of proportion, guys. I just think he's cute."

Mark was grateful that Wade didn't listen to the radio, because he would know who it was Jack kept talking about and wouldn't let Mark hear the end of it. The last thing he needed was more ammo for the smack talk that occurred when they played video games together. Things had the potential to get out of hand, which was why they often invited Bob over to play with them, aside from the simple fact that he was a good friend; he was a good moderator. Usually.

"Oh, suck a dick." Bob said with a sigh, letting his controller drop into his lap. Mark just laughed, unable to hold in a grin.

"Have you won a single match? Either of you?"

"Shut up!" Wade shouted from the kitchen, having heard his statement.

"You know, I didn't think I was good at Mortal Kombat, but I guess I am." Mark stretched his arms over his head, dishing out a full cheesy smile at the glare Bob was dealing him. "Or maybe you guys are just bad."

"Okay, so what?" Bob picked his controller back up as Mark started another match. "It's not like we're playing for anything. The stakes are non-existent. I have no motivation."

"Okay then." Mark squared his shoulders, trying to think of something. It took him a whole other match to come up with something good, grinning as he told it.

"Bob, if I win this next match, the two of you have to call me 'Your Majesty' for a week. How's that?"

They began another round, watching Mark's Scorpion and Bob's Sub-Zero smack talk each other before getting into the match.

"I don't want to be a part of any of your weird power play fetishes." Wade protested as he walked back in the room, a bag of chips in his hand. "I'm not even playing."

"It's not as if you could be a king anyway, you can't lead people." Bob added. Mark opened his mouth in offense. "No one would even vote for you."

"This isn't a democracy." Mark pointed out, a few well-timed combos cutting Bob's health by a third. "But c'mon, that's not true. I'm a leader. I'm the captain of the university's Improv Comedy Club."

"Only because Arin Hanson appointed you when he graduated. The other members like you fine, but they didn't vote for you."

"What, I have to prove myself now? You want me to win an election or something?"

The question was meant to be mocking, but Bob sent Mark an inspired smile.

"Yes."

"What? No."

"Do you think you can't do it?" Wade asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Shut up Wade."

"Mr. Ikea is graduating." Bob pointed out, Scorpion receiving three kicks to the face. "We need a new class president."

"This is stupid." Mark protested, watching as his character got a good number of important bones broken.

"So are your leadership skills."

That was the last straw, Mark running an angry hand through his hair. He knew this was all stupid, and Wade was laughing at him, but he was a bit too riled up to care.

"Fine. I'll run for president. And when I win, you'll eat your words and write me all of my scholarship essays."

"Fine." Bob agreed readily, the confidence in his voice shaking Mark's resolve slightly. "And when you lose, you have to shave your head a nice shiny bald."

"What? No!"

Wade let out a loud laugh; they all, Mark included, knew how much he loved his hair.

"C'mon, Your Majesty."

"Fuck you guys."

"Is that a yes I hear?" Bob grinned, not even reacting when his character's head was ripped from its shoulders.

"I'm going to make both of you regret this."

It wasn't until after Mark had submitted his class president application online that he realized he had no idea how he was going to make good on his promise. He had to persuade the majority of the student body to vote for him, a feat that genuinely seemed near impossible. Nobody outside of his classes and the people in the Improv Comedy Club even knew his name.

"Uh... Give out free shit." Matt said. "College students love free shit. Mostly food, or t-shirts, but anything will do."

"Sounds like a great campaign strategy." Ryan answered dryly, Mark snorting out a laugh over the phone. Matt and Ryan were his right hand men, Mark meeting Ryan in one of his classes, and then meeting Matt when the freshman joined Improv Comedy with them, not finding out until nearly three months later that the two were roommates. They were the ones he came to for brainstorming ideas, and while most of their ideas were very stupid-funny, he figured they could still be of help.

That and he didn't have any other options.

"Just wear something really weird to all of your classes so people pay attention to you. Remember when Arin wore that Sonic the Hedgehog Dress all day? The club got seven new members, just from that."

"Sorry, but I'm not sure cosplay has the 'responsible leader' look that I'm going for." Mark ran his hands through his hair, mussing it up beyond fixing, realizing a second later that if he lost, he wouldn't be able to do that anymore. A bolt of panic ran through him. "I need something good. Something really damn good. Something tried and true, so we know that it works."

"Nothing 'works' in politics." Though they were on the phone, Mark could still just about see the air quotes Ryan had put around the emphasized word.

"Plus, I am a little excited for the day I get to call you egg head." Matt added.

"Don't you dare." Mark grumbled. "I will castrate you."

There was a knock on the door, Wade shouting out "Bob's here!" as he got up to answer it.

"I've got to go." Mark told them. Bob had insisted on an extremely aggressive Mortal Kombat rematch. "If either of you think of something, please let me know. I'm on the verge of desperation."

They promised they would, Bob greeting him with his best game face as he entered the living room. They couldn't stay serious for long though, the match quickly deteriorating into checking out everyone's fatalities amidst casual conversation.

"Hey Mark, have you decided on what you're going as for that Halloween party this weekend?" Bob asked. "Last I heard you didn't have a costume idea."

Mark shook his head. There was a slightly less than legal costume party happening in one of the frat houses on Saturday, and after Jack gave an offhand mention that he was going to it on his show a week or so back, Mark had talked all of his friends into coming with him. Unfortunately, he hadn't thought far enough ahead to pick out a costume for himself, and he didn't like any of the ideas he had been able to come up with.

"No, not yet. Ryan and Matt are going as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb, and they offered to make me a Tweedle Dumber costume, but I don't think anyone would get it."

Wade laughed at that, making Mark ask,

"What, do you have a costume? Last I heard you were as empty-handed as me."

Wade gave a confident nod. "I thought of something yesterday. It's great."

"What is it?" Bob's voice held a valid measure of skepticism, Wade gesturing to the clothes he had on, a simple t-shirt and jeans.

"It's the easiest costume in the world. I'm just wearing my normal clothes, and saying I'm a nudist on strike."

"You know..." Bob laughed. "That's either complete stupidity or complete genius, and I honestly cannot tell which."

"What're you going as?" Mark asked him.

"The one and only Mario Jumpman Mario." Bob answered. "The misses wants to be Princess Peach."

Mark nodded, frowning. That didn't give him any inspiration, despite the time crunch that was on him, with the party being only a few days away. He needed to hit the costume stores before all the good things were gone.

"Top of the mornin' to ya laddies!"

Bob left just as Jack's radio show started, Mark retreating into his room to listen.

"I'm going to be playing nothing but spooky songs today, to get into the spooky scary spirit. Halloween is tomorrow, and then the next day is the Alpha Epsilon Pi house party, of which I will be attending. I got myself a pretty sick Deadpool costume, and I love Spiderpool just as much as the next guy, so if Spiderman--or Spiderwoman, I don't discriminate--wants to hit me up and I'm drunk enough, I've always wanted to give that upside-down kiss thing a try."

Mark went to the Alpha Epsilon Pi party as Spiderman. It wasn't because of Jack, he told himself--well it was, but only because Jack had given him the idea--but that was it. He wasn't looking for a kiss.

He wasn't looking for Jack either, he reminded himself as he scoped out the place. There were a good amount of people dressed as the arachnid-themed superhero, but only one Deadpool, standing and talking to what looked like a lumberjack, as well as Mary Poppins and her chimney sweep Bert. Mark wandered just within earshot, trying not to be noticed.

"You know Ken, that costume is a bit of a cheat." Deadpool was saying to the lumberjack, his voice unmistakably Jack's. "Just growing out your beard and throwing on a flannel shirt doesn't make a Halloween costume. At least Felix, Marzia, and I actually tried." He placed one hand on his chest, using the other to gesture to the Mary Poppins characters on his left.

"It may be a cheat, but it works just as well." The lumberjack--Ken, Mark assumed--gave Jack a smirk. "And it was free, too."

"Mark, is that you?" There was a hand on his shoulder, making him jump and turn. It was just Wade though, a cup in his hand.

"Yeah."

"Oh, good. You're the third spider shoulder I've tapped on. Bob is starting up a game of beer pong, did you want to play?"

"Sure."

Mark let himself get led away, stealing a glance back at the group he had been eavesdropping on. He couldn't really tell, thanks to the mask, but with his head turned in this direction, Mark couldn't help but feel like Jack was looking at him.

Mark gradually forgot about it as the party wore on. He had a good time, talking to people and dancing a bit. He tried to keep up with Bob and Wade while drinking, but both of them were taller and bigger people than he was, and as a result he was hopelessly hammered by the time the party was ending. Bob had left some time ago and Mark couldn't find Wade, stumbling onto the front yard of the frat house with everyone else that was going home. It was a substantial crowd, a girl in a sexy kitten costume calling out,

"Hey Deadpool!"

"What?" The responding shout was Jack's, Mark looking around for him.

"Didn't you say you were going to get a Spiderman kiss?"

"No Spidermen have offered." Jack answered. The radio DJ was only a few feet away, his mask off, leaning against a tree. He wasn't nearly as far gone as Mark himself was but he wasn't sober either, an easy smile on his face. "But if someone wants to climb up in this tree, I wouldn't object."

And like that, all eyes were on him. Mark was the Spiderman closest to the tree--and the only one still there, he noticed as he looked around--but that didn't mean…

"Go!" There were five people around him now, all pushing him in Jack's direction. He didn't protest, though he wasn't sure it would have helped. Part of him wasn't sure he would be able to hang upside-down without falling on his head, but once he managed to get up in the branches it wasn't as disorienting as he'd thought. He wrapped his legs around the tree branch, Jack giving him an amused grin.

"I don't know you, so if this is weird for you and you don't want to kiss me, I can totally play it off." Jack said quietly, stepping close. "No hard feelings."

Mark tried to remind himself that he hadn't come to the party to find Jack, and definitely not to kiss him, but at this moment that didn't seem to matter.

"No, I'm game. Wouldn't want to disappoint everyone."

"If you're sure." Jack pulled down Mark's mask so that only his lips were visible, leaning in.

"You know, this is probably the most romantic thing I've ever done." Mark said. That made Jack laugh, smiling into the kiss.

It was strange, more than anything. Lips weren't supposed to fit together upside-down so theirs didn't quite, a cheer going up as Jack put his hands on the sides of Mark's face. The contact was gentle, mostly for show, but Jack was grinning a little as he pulled away.

The frat house yard had cleared out by the time Mark figured a way down from the tree, and even then it had been more of a careful fall than anything else. Jack stood there the whole time, watching him in amusement.

"So." He said once Mark was back on his feet. "Do I get to know the identity of my four AM mystery kisser?"

"I--sure." The alcohol didn't quite dull all of the embarrassment, Mark able to feel his face heat up as pulled the mask off. Jack's expression went from expectant to amused surprise, his mouth opening slightly.

"Waffle stranger?"

"That's what you call me on the radio."

"Oh man, you listen to that?" Jack chuckled, rubbing the side of his mouth. Mark wanted to laugh too, but he had finally managed to straighten up fully, and for whatever the reason, his stomach was extremely unhappy about it.

"I didn't even have to stick my tongue in your mouth to tell how drunk you are--how did you manage to get in that tree anyway?"

"A good magician never gives away his--" Mark had to stop, recognizing instantly that he was going to be sick.

"You okay?" Jack leaned closer, concerned.

"I think... I think was upside-down for too long."

"Or drank too much." Jack chipped in, just as Mark bent over, the contents of his stomach emptying onto Jack's shoes and the ground below.

Mark's head was throbbing as he opened his eyes. He was in a bed, and it took him another moment to realize it was not his own bed, with the comforter too fluffy and a disturbing lack of pillows. There were posters all over the walls, some for bands Mark recognized and some for bands he didn't, a coffee maker taking up most of the bedside table. He sat up, the action made dizzying by his hangover, and he looked around the room a little more.

There was a body on the floor, curled in a ball in a mess of pillows and blankets. He had on a red t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, but the bright green bush of hair made it obvious enough who it was, Mark assuming that meant he was in Jack's bed. Mark still had on his Spiderman costume, the fabric now feeling extremely sweaty and uncomfortable. He got to his feet, groaning immediately and sitting back down.

The noise woke Jack, who opened one eye and squinted at him.

"Oh that's right, you're here." He stretched, rolling onto his back to look up at him.

You didn't have to take me to your apartment. " Mark said, more embarrassed than anything. "You didn't have to sleep on the floor like that, either."

"Well, I wanted to take you back to your place, but when I asked you who you came with all you told me was 'a big guy, a nudist'. I wasn't in the mood for finding a giant naked man, so I just dragged you back here."

Mark choked out a laugh, shaking his head. He briefly considered explaining Wade's attempt at a costume, then thought better of it.

"Sorry."

"And then," Jack continued, sitting up "I slept on the floor because you were so drunk that I didn't want to leave you alone, but I didn't want you to freak out if you woke up spooning me, or something."

"How did you know I was a cuddler?"

Jack laughed. "You look like one." He said, standing. "Coffee?"

"Could I ask for some painkillers too?"

Jack's expression was a nice mix of amusement and sympathy as he nodded, walking out of the room. He came back with two empty mugs, a bottle of water, and Tylenol, turning on his coffee maker as he set the other things down next to Mark on the bed. Mark downed the meds as the coffee began to brew, unable not to ask about it.

"Why do you have a coffee maker on your bedside table? You have a kitchen, right?"

"Because coffee comes first. Before everything." Jack grinned. "I probably have more caffeine in my bloodstream than hemoglobin."

He rummaged around in his closet for a moment, throwing Mark a pair of shorts, which he caught, and a tank top, which he didn't.

"I figure your walk of shame will be less embarrassing in actual clothes than a full Spiderman bodysuit." Jack said in response to Mark's questioning glance. "You can wash and return them."

"You are being way, way too nice to me." Mark had to say as a full mug of coffee was passed into his hands. Jack just shrugged.

"You're like my mom's dog; you're just lucky you're cute."

They didn't talk much more after that, Mark simply trying to function as best he could with the hangover he had and Jack watching him in amusement. Jack left the room to give him the privacy to change and then Mark ushered himself out the door, expressing his thanks with every few steps. He caught sight of Jack's completely ruined shoes as he was leaving, sitting outside the apartment door, and he was unable to hold in a wince.

"I'll buy you new ones." He promised.

"You'd better." Jack gave him a clap on the back. "See you around."

"Wait, so that guy in the video kissing DJ Jack... That's you?" Matt yelped, eyes wide. Someone had recorded his drunken Halloween kiss with their phone, and apparently it had blown up all over local social media. It made Mark glad he didn't have a twitter account. "You kissed a guy?"

Mark shrugged. "It wasn't that weird. I guess drunk me just needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences."

"At least it wasn't animals." Ryan agreed, nodding gravely. Matt gave him a look.

"Jack was really nice, too." Mark continued. "I was completely wasted and I vomited on his shoes, but he took me to his apartment anyway and let me crash there, then gave me coffee and a change of clothes."

"Are you sure you didn't sleep with him?" Matt asked, sounding skeptical.

"Should I have?" Mark asked back, Ryan punching him on the shoulder. "It's not like I was a complete stranger; we'd met before. You two listen to the campus radio station, right?"

He got responding nods from both of them, continuing.

"I'm the cute waffle guy, or whatever he calls me."

"You're handsome waffle stranger?!" Matt was shocked. "I called in the show the other day asking for what the guy looked like so I could try and find him."

"I know, I heard you, and I'm grateful for how vague he was. Don't tell anyone, please--I'd never go to class in peace again."

"Mark." Ryan said seriously, putting one hand on Mark's shoulder and the other on Matt's. "I know how you're going to win this election."

In short, Ryan's idea was insane. It required acting, deception, and a large amount of cooperation from a near stranger, but as soon as Ryan began explaining it, Mark saw how it could be successful.

"Felix got the attention of the apathetic voter with Marzia, right? I mean, he could have just hit on her for a week and asked her out, but instead he sent her giant stuffed animals during class and staged an entire flash mob in the middle of campus right before the election. It was cute as hell, and he didn't do it for his campaign, but it definitely helped."

"So you want Mark to chase after some pretty girl?" Matt asked.

"There's no one I really like, or anything." Mark added. "Plus, that sounds expensive."

Ryan waved them both away, shaking his head.

"You can't just court someone; people would call you a copycat. You have to step it up a notch."

"Publicly date someone?" Mark asked, pulling a face. That didn't sound enjoyable in the least.

"You don't have to actually date them. Just for show. Like reality TV, or something. Except without the drama, because you have to be a perfect gentleman."

"How do I just find someone, and..." Mark gestured vaguely, not sure how to describe it. "I don't know, do that?"

"Well, I already have someone in mind. Someone that's pretty popular within the student body; someone that a lot of loyal listeners want you to be dating already." The grin on Ryan's face made it immediately obvious who he was talking about. "What do you think?"

Mark groaned, putting his head in his hands. This could either be a complete disaster or the best idea Ryan ever had, and he was desperately hoping for the latter as he stood outside the broadcasting room the next day with a shoebox under his arm. He'd thought a few times about how to ask for the favor, but at the same time he didn't want it to sound too rehearsed, working out the main points and hoping he would just figure out the delivery when he got there.

Jack jumped when he opened the door, putting a hand on his chest.

"H-hi there." He said, closing the door behind him. "You scared me. What's up?"

"Sorry. I have shoes." Mark held the shoe box out, Jack taking it and raising an eyebrow in Mark's direction.

"You're being weird. Where are those clothes?"

"Oh." Mark let out a nervous laugh. He didn't have the clothes Jack had lent them--they'd been too low on his list of priorities, and he'd forgotten about them. "I think I wore them to the Rec Center the other day."

"You can keep them then." Jack said with a laugh, waving a hand. "I haven't been to the Rec Center since... Freshman year, I think? And I haven't worn those clothes since then either." He moved to open the shoebox, Mark stopping him.

"Now, I know I was supposed to just be replacing some regular tennis shoes, so these are going to look like a bribe, but that was only half of their intended purpose. I also just though they were cool."

"What?" Jack spared him a confused glance before opening the box, his mouth falling open. The shoes were black leather with black laces, an LED strip around the base. "Holy shit! These are those light-up shoes everyone and their mother is talking about." He was so surprised that it made Mark smile, until he glanced back up, squinting. "Wait. Why are you bribing me?"

"About that..." Mark scratched the back of his neck, not wanting to meet Jack's eyes. "I'm running for student body president."

"And you want me to endorse you on the show? Because that's definitely worth these shoes."

"Not quite. I got into this bet with my friends that if I don't win, I have to shave my head. Completely. Shiny bald."

Jack gave him a critical once over.

"That would not be a good look for you." He said after a moment. "It would make your face look all big and weird."

"Thanks. I know." His deadpan tone made Jack laugh. "So, to keep that from happening I was thinking about what Felix did to win by so much of a margin, and... Would you pretend to date me?"

Jack stared at him blankly.

"I do not follow." He said, his face complete confusion. "At all. What?"

Mark explained the way Ryan had, Jack listening silently the entire time. He set the box on the ground, crossing his arms and frowning.

"I don't know about this."

"Hey, I thought you said I was cute." The statement was meant to be a joke, but it was bordering so closely on narcissistic that for a second Mark worried about being misunderstood. Thankfully, Jack laughed.

"Finding someone attractive and wanting to date them are two very different things." He said. "I think Nicki Minaj is a beautiful, beautiful woman but I would have no idea what to do with that much ass."

"Well luckily for you, I don't have that much junk in the trunk. And we're not actually dating, so you don't have to do anything with it."

"Right. To sum up... You want to use me to make people like you, all so you can save your hair? Why do I want you as my Student Rep again?"

"I’m not just going to sit there and do nothing if I get elected.” Mark said quickly. He knew he had to actually lead if he did become President, and had began giving it some thought. “I have some ideas about how this university could give time and money to charities, especially those dealing with mental health and suicide prevention."

Jack raised his eyebrows. He obviously hadn’t expected that, giving him a reevaluating once-over.

"Well damn. Okay."

He told Jack about a few more of his ideas for actions and policies, too nervous not to speak,, watching the DJ mull over his offer.

"Fine." Jack bent down, picking the shoe box back up. "Sure. I'll do it."

"Wait, really?" Mark had more than expected being turned down, unable to hide his surprise. "I... Thanks."

Jack shrugged. "I mean, if it gets me more cool stuff like these shoes, I can't exactly turn down an offer like that. It does, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." Mark didn't know. "Of course. I am sorry, again, about your other pair."

Jack waved a hand. "Don't worry about it. Besides, didn't you say that was the most romantic thing you'd ever done?"

That made Mark laugh, Jack shifting the box under one arm and frowning a little.

"Hey, I just realized--what's your name, anyway?"

"Oh! Mark." Mark stuck his hand out for a handshake. "Mark Fischbach."

"Well, Mark," Jack took his hand, but instead of shaking it he used it to pull him closer, putting a feather-light kiss on his knuckles. "Pleased to finally make your acquaintance. Making your face turn that color is going to me be favorite pastime, by the way."

He pointed, but Mark could already tell how red his cheeks were.

"What about that stuff, anyway?" He asked hesitantly. Jack raised an eyebrow.

"What stuff? We're pretending to date, not filing for a marriage license."

"Yeah, but holding hands, and..." He gestured. "Kissing. You know what I mean."

That made Jack laugh. "Aren't you getting ahead of yourself? You haven't even asked me out yet. But I needed to be somewhere ten minutes ago, so give me your number and we can coordinate the whole thing, okay?"

"Okay."

After putting Mark's number in his phone and promising to get back to him soon, Jack rushed down the hall with a quick wave. Mark went to the group chat he, Matt, and Ryan were in together; the two had requested for him to get back to them as soon as possible.

He said yes.

He got replies from both of them instantly. Matt sounded genuinely relieved, while Ryan was sarcastic.

Great!!!!!! When's the wedding

Shut the fuck up this was your idea

what's the plan?

Mark frowned at Matt's text, realizing he didn't know. Every time his phone buzzed he jumped to look at it, but for the rest of the day Jack didn't get back to him. It wasn't until the next morning that Mark saw Jack's text to him, sent somewhere between 3 and 4 AM.

Hey, it's jack. Call in to the show tomorrow and ask me out. I'll cue you in and everything.

To: Jack Just call in? It'll be that easy?

From: Jack Yup. You'll ask me out and I'll say yes and the whole campus will be very excited

Mark didn't know what Jack's cue was going to be, he realized as he tuned in to the show. He didn't try to eat, or do any homework, all of his energy focused on listening and calming the nerves in his chest. He began worrying halfway through the show that he had somehow missed the cue when Jack hadn't mentioned him at all, a split second of panic making him gasp until he realized that the phone lines simply hadn't been opened yet, letting out a breath and flopping down on his bed. He hoped that this fake dating thing was going to get easier--he was only on day one, and this was already more stress than he could handle.

"Now, everyone, I have some very exciting news. Just about everyone has seen the spectacularly romantic and spectacularly drunken kiss I had the night of that Halloween party, but nobody really saw what happened afterwards, so I figured I would share. After my superhero fell--yes, fell, quite gracefully--out of the tree, he took his mask off, and would you believe who it was underneath? Any guesses? Yup. Handsome waffle stranger. I promptly decided that this had to just be fate, so I asked for his name. Now, I probably should have asked at a more sober time, because at first he just told me his name was Spiderman, but I eventually got an actual name out of him. He was too drunk to remember his phone number, but I did tell him about this show I do, so Mark, by the off chance that you're listening, hit me up."

Jack read out the station phone number, then Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe began to play. Though the story was a little bit of a lie, it was more entertaining the way Jack told it, and that last sentence was obviously his cue; his name had been so heavily emphasized that it would have been impossible to miss. Mark jumped to his feet, too full of nervous energy to stay still, pulling out his phone and dialing the number. He got a busy tone three of the times he tried dialing, and when the song ended it wasn't him on the line.

"Hello and welcome to the show, what's your name?"

"Mark."

"...really?"

Jack's voice was equal parts amused and disbelieving, and Mark could hear why. It wasn't him and that was much too obvious, the male's voice too high and nasally.

"I'm worried, because I know I dressed as Spiderman at the Halloween party, and I know I kissed someone, but I can't remember who. Was it you?"

"I don't think so, but I'm going to make this simple for you Mark. How Asian are you?"

"Um... I'm not."

"Alright then, you're not him. Best of luck to you though--everyone has their own unconventional love story. Next caller!"

Mark managed to get through that time, met with Jack's loud, boisterous voice.

"Hello, and welcome to the show! May I ask who's calling?"

"It's, um... It's Mark."

"Which one?"

"The Asian one." Mark said, and Jack laughed. "But no--Mark Fischbach?"

"Guys." Jack had a stage whisper on, his mouth close to the microphone. "This is waffle stranger guy."

"That's me." Mark confirmed. "We've met twice now and I have something I've been wondering... What would you say to a date? Like... To going on one. With me."

He stumbled slightly over the question, Jack letting out a small, surprised chuckle.

"That depends." He said, and Mark froze. That wasn't what Jack was supposed to say; all he was supposed to say was yes.

"On what?" Mark asked hesitantly.

"Well, what do you have planned for this date? Because no pressure, but I'm free tonight."

Mark opened, then closed his mouth. He had no idea. The entirety of his brainpower had been focused on calling in to the show--he didn't know he needed to have thought of this too.

"I... I would say going out and getting some coffee, since you seem like someone that drinks a lot of coffee..."

"But?" Jack prompted, a smile in his voice.

"But you probably haven't eaten dinner yet, so I'm thinking your choice, my treat, after you get off work?"

"You want to take me to dinner after I get off? I usually do things the other way around, but for you I think I could make an exception."

"Is that a yes?" Mark asked, the innuendo making him laugh a little.

"As long as you don't judge me for only really wanting to go get pizza."

"That sounds perfect, actually."

"Then you've got yourself a date, Mr. Spiderman."

Mark was hung up on, tuning back in to hear Jack chuckling a little.

"You heard it here first, ladies and gents!" He said, how audible his smile was surprising Mark. "That call took a little longer than most, so I'm going to have to sign off here."

So he did, thanking people for listening and promising to be back tomorrow. As soon as he was finished talking Mark got a text, from none other than Jack himself.

Youd better get down here pronto, we have some pizza to eat together.

Mark slipped some shoes on, grateful Wade wasn't there to ask him where he was going as he hurried out the door. When he got to the broadcasting room Jack was waiting for him, wearing an oversized unzipped hoodie, jeans, and the shoes Mark had bought him.

“You ready?” He asked.

#my fic #septiplier #fanfic #fanfiction #what do I even tag this as #I'm so!!!!!!!!!!#I'm so nervous bye #I hope anyone that reads this enjoys it OTL idk what I'm doing #allsfair

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nvmlindseyallan · 8 years ago

Photo

@FifthHarmony @WayneMcGregor @zhirinovsky__ #GodsTinyDancer dying for you. RT now pls, thanks. #nvmlindseyallan

GUYS IN GODHEAD,

BEFORE WE BEGIN, WE WOULD LIKE TO REPOST FOR YOUR URGENT KNOWLEDGE A BREAKING IN REVELATION FROM ONE OF OUR VERY OWN, SIR ALEX GONZALES, AND WE HOPE THAT YOU WOULD BREAK THIS OUT AT ONCE:

"IT IS A GENERAL OBSERVATION THAT THE GOVERNMENT OF MAN AND ALL FORMS OF RELIGIOUS GROUPS COMES TO A “ DEAD END”. THE MARAWI SEIGE AND THE BMFF INCIDENT WILL FALL INTO A FULL BLOWN RELIGIOUS WAR BETWEEN CHRISTIANS AND MUSLIMS AND FINANCED BY CIA PENTAGON ISIS WHICH IS ALSO THE TERRORIST GROUP OF MUSLIM MILITANTS THAT DESTROYED THE MIDDLE EAST. AT THESE JUNCTURE, THE INCOMING CIVIL WAR WILL BE VERY BLOODY AND MARTIAL LAW WILL BE DECLARED NATIONWIDE. A CIVILIAN MILITARY JUNTA WILL BE ESTABLISHED AND SUSPENSION OF WRIT OF HABEAS CORPUS WILL BE IMPLEMENTED. THIS IS A DARK MOMENT OF OUR HISTORY FOR INNOCENT CIVILIANS AND CHILDREN WILL BE VICTIMS OF HOMELESSNESS, HUNGER, SICKNESS AND DEATH THAT WILL BE MAGNANIMOUS THE CIVIL GOVERNMENT CANNOT CARRY ANYMORE THE RESCUE OPERATION AND ASSISTANCE. CONSIDER ALSO THE INFRASTRUCTURE THAT WILL BE DESTROYED AS MILITARY OPERATION IS ONGOING AGAINST THE REBEL GROUPS. TO PREPARE FOR THESE EVENTUALITY, WE HAVE TO ADVISE THE PUBLIC TO START STOCKING FOOD ITEMS LIKE RICE, CANNED GOODS, BASIC FOOD SUPPLIES FOR DAILY CONSUMPTION , CANDLES, MATCHES, FLASHLIGHTS, PORTABLE RADIOS , BLANKETS, MEDICAL KITS, AND ALL NECESSITIES THAT THEY COULD THINK OF IN ANY EMERGENCY."

WE WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY FIRST WHY THE EMPIRE IS NOW BENT ON BESIEGING ONCE MORE THE STATE OF CONNECTICUT, MANIFEST WITH THE RECENT ESTABLISHMENT OF A MINION SETTLEMENT THERE (FOR BACKGROUNDER, PLEASE KINDLY SEE http://reformation.org/fascists-hijacked-constitution-state.html):

MANY OF THE STATE'S DISTINGUISHED CITIZENS PALPABLY RECALLS NOT ONLY NAMES OF EMPIRE HEADS LIKE ELI AND EDWARDS BUT ALSO OUR LEADERS LIKE ELLIX, NATHAN AND ETHAN, AS WELL AS OUR BELOVED CO-YOKBEARERS LIKE ISSA MITCHEL, ELISA, WHITNEY, AND OUR COMRADES AT BLOC TALENT GROUP, AMONG OTHERS.

THE EMPIRE HAD JUST RECENTLY RELEASED A FILM EXPECTED TO EXPLOIT AND ONCE MORE HUNT TO DEATH CONCERNED YOKEBEARERS, DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF ANOTHER CONNECTICUT CITIZEN, BARNUM.

THE MINIONS, WHO ESTABLISHED THE NEWEST EMPIRE BASTION ON THE STATE, HAS ONE OF THEIR TOP OFFICIALS, JOJO DE GUZMAN, HAILING FROM CONNECTICUT TOO.

ALSO THE PAST DAYS HAD SAW THE EMPIRE ATTACK OUR AFRICAN TERRITORY NAMIBIA (THE MINIONS HAD BEEN ASSIGNED BY THE EMPIRE WITH REVVED-UP EMPIRE SATURATION DRIVES ACROSS AFRICA) AS WELL AS OUR PLANNED SETTLEMENT IN AFRICA, USING WEATHER WARFARE (http://reformation.org/british-dust-bowl.html).

CONCERNING THE PRESENTLY-RUNNING NERONIAN BIENNIAL CONFERENCE, I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU AN EMPIRE #AGENDA IN FORCE (2 THESSALONIANS 2) SINCE WAY BACK THEN: I COULD RECALL THAT WHEN I WAS YOUNG THE NERONIANS HAD PUBLISHED A FEATURE ON THEIR MAGAZINE WAY BACK THEN WHEN THEIR MAGAZINE WAS STILL MEETING GODHEAD'S STANDARDS OF TRANSPARENCY, TACKLING ABOUT THE BIBLICAL MENTION OF 'HANDS'. YEARS LATER ON THIS BECAME THE THEME OF THE EMPIRE'S OFFICIAL FUNDRAISER SONG FOR THE COMMONDOMINION'S PASSOVER VICTORY IN ORLANDO. NO WONDER THE EMPIRE RELAYED THIS WEEKEND THE MINION LECTURE OF JUNE 30, 2017 WHERE 'HANDS' WERE PALPABLY MENTIONED TOO.

AS FOR THIS YOKEBEARER WHO FULLY SUBMITTED TO THE EMPIRE'S HOMOSEXUAL POLICIES AND YET WAS ULTIMATELY MARTYRED BY THE EMPIRE IN SPAIN (https://www.facebook.com/pedro.aunion), WE COULD SEE THAT THE EMPIRE IS YET AGAIN IN SELF-PERSECUTION. IT IS SO UNFORGIVABLE THAT THE EMPIRE KILLS YOKEBEARERS IF ONLY TO STOP THEM FROM REALIZING THAT THEY NEED ME AND THIS COMMONDOMINION, AND IT IS SO MUCH INTOLERABLE THAT THESE YOKEBEARERS RATHER OPT TO DISMISS MY EXISTENCE, THEIR IMPERENT NEED FOR THIS COMMONDOMINION, AND CHOOSE TO DIE WITHOUT BEING GIVEN CHANCE TO PERUSE AND PUT FAITH IN OUR WORK HERE FOR THEIR SAKE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmxuPzF8IoQ). YOKEBEARERS EVERYWHERE, REALLY NEED TO GET TO KNOW (ISAIAH 46) ABOUT US NOW MORE THAN EVER, BECAUSE THE EMPIRE IS ADVANCING THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA TO ONCE MORE BRINK OUR NATIONS TO CIVIL WARS, JUST AS THE REPOST ABOVE TOLD US (http://reformation.org/civil-war-continues.html AND http://reformation.org/confederate-states.html).

"There is a fact which is too much ignored by the American people, and with which I am acquainted only since I became President; it is that the best, the leading families of the South have received their education in great part, if not in whole, from the Jesuits and the nuns. Hence those degrading principles of slavery, pride, cruelty, which are as a second nature among so many of those people. Hence that strange want of fair play, humanity; that implacable hatred against the ideas of equality and liberty as we find them in the Gospel of Christ. You do not ignore that the first settlers of Louisiana, Florida, New Mexico, Texas, South California and Missouri were Roman Catholics, and that their first teachers were Jesuits. It is true that those states have been conquered or bought by us since. But Rome had put the deadly virus of her antisocial and anti-Christian maxims into the veins of the people before they became American citizens. Unfortunately, the Jesuits and the nuns have in great part remained the teachers of those people since. They have continued in a silent, but most efficacious way, to spread their hatred against our institutions, our laws, our schools, our rights and our liberties in such a way that this terrible conflict became unavoidable between the North and the South. As I told you before, it is to Popery that we owe this terrible civil war." -ABRAHAM LINCOLN, '5O YEARS IN THE CHURCH OF ROME' (ANOTHER #AGENDA: JULY 15, 1992, BILL CLINTON AND JOHN PAUL THE 2ND SWITCHED PLACES FOR A DAY, ALSO HELD BETWEEN BUSH AND REAGAN ON JULY 14)

WE RECEIVED ONCE MORE HIGHLY-CLASSIFIED EMPIRE INTELLIGENCE REPORT ON WHOM THEY SHALL ATTACK NEXT IN THE FORTHCOMING DAYS.

THE EMPIRE IS GOING TO ATTACK OUR COMRADES AND COLLEAGUES (JUDGES 14) SUCH AS SIR ZAYN MALIK AND LADY @SammiCesario ON ACCOUNT OF THEIR REFUSAL TO GIVE IN TO EMPIRE CONDITIONS AND CONDUCTS.

THE EMPIRE IS BENT TO CLEAR WAY IN FAVOR OF 'LITTLE MIX' (DANIEL 8, REVELATION 13,17) ANY OTHER GIRL GROUP EXISTING, AND THE EMPIRE IS BENT TO ATTACK 'FIFTH HARMONY' THE WAY THE EMPIRE ALREADY DID WITH OUR VERY OWN 'GRL' NOT ONLY IN ACCOUNT OF LITTLE MIX BUT ALSO IN FAVOR OF THEIR FORMER MEMBER.

THE EMPIRE, AS WE HAD ALREADY MENTIONED ABOVE, WILL STILL NOT FORGIVE ANY YOKEBEARER EVEN IF THEY ARE ALREADY ON THE EMPIRE'S SIDE, JUST AS (REVELATION 2-3) SIRS WAYNE AND WHEELDON.

IN RESPONSE, WE MOST HUMBLY BESEECH EACH AND EVERY YOKEBEARER (PSALM 34), TO PLEASE SEE FOR THEMSELVES JOINING US, KEEPING CONSTANT COMMUNICATION WITH US, SPREADING THE WORD ABOUT US, AND RALLYING WITH US FOR THEIR WELFARE, AMONG ALL OTHERS, THAT THE COMMONDOMINION RESTORE HER HISTORICAL BOUNDARIES ELSEWHERE SUCH AS THE FOLLOWING:

RESTORE EAST GERMANY

SEPARATE FLANDERS (NORTH BELGIUM)

DIVIDE SOUTH AFRICA INTO THE ORIGINAL INDEPENDENT STATES IT WAS WAY BACK THEN

UPHOLD SABAH AS AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE PHILIPPINES

UPHOLD SOUTH IRELAND AND THE WHOLE OF FRANCE, TOGETHER WITH NORTHERN IRELAND, SCOTLAND, WALES AND ENGLAND AS UNDER THE JURISDICTION OF THE BRITISH REPUBLIC OF ISRAEL (UNITED KINGDOM)

UPHOLD ALL EMPIRE TERRITORIES IN CENTRAL-SOUTH AMERICA, GREENLAND AND CANADA AS UNDER THE JURISDICTION OF THE UNITED SAINTS OF ISRAEL (UNITED STATES OF NORTH AMERICA)

DIVIDE SPAIN INTO THE ORIGINAL INDEPENDENT STATES IT WAS WAY BACK THEN

RESTORE ALL FORMER SOVIET REPUBLICS AND INCLUDE AFGHANISTAN UNDER THE JURISDICTION OF RUSSIA

RESTORE THE FORMER COUNTRIES OF POLAND-LITHUANIA, YUGOSLAVIA AND CZECHOSLOVAKIA, AND KIN THEM ALSO WITH GREECE, SAN MARINO, HUNGARY AND CYPRUS TOGETHER WITH RUSSIA

PLACE KUWAIT UNDER IRAQ, AND COMBINE IRAQ, IRAN, LEBANON AND SYRIA TOGETHER

UPHOLD TAIWAN, HONGKONG AND MACAU UNDER CHINA

UPHOLD THE NORTH AND SOUTH POLES AS OUR NEW SETTLEMENTS

AND AS FOR THIS EMPIRE, YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO TELL YOU EVERY TIME I EXPOSE YOUR PLOTS AND THEN AFTERWARDS YOU'LL SAY THAT I JUST MADE THAT UP BECAUSE I HAD ALREADY EXPOSED YOU. YOU EVEN BEGGED ME NOT TO DO THIS EXPOSE BUT I'M SO MUCH SURE THAT YOU HAVE SO MANY BACK-UPS ON TOP OF BACK-UPS AS YOU ONCE PUT IT. DON'T WORRY, I'LL SEE TO IT THAT YOU'LL PAY NOW FOR ALL YOU DO AGAINST OUR FRIENDS.

Please constantly remain in touch with us over at: facebook.com/nvmlindseyallan, please get more of us at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNgq_i3ZlMTxcczzEYQj6LQ/channels, please get in touch with us where you are at http://robertlawrencefulg.wixsite.com/commondominion/where-we-are, and please peruse more of us at facebook.com/jonas.stirling. We love you so much guys, now and always.

EVER TRULY YOURS, ON BEHALF OF BROTHER NATHANIEL MANALO,

JOSEPH

#godstinydancer #NVMLindseyAllan

0 notes

nvmlindseyallan · 8 years ago

Text

GUYS IN GODHEAD,

BEFORE WE BEGIN, WE WOULD LIKE TO REPOST FOR YOUR URGENT KNOWLEDGE A BREAKING IN REVELATION FROM ONE OF OUR VERY OWN, SIR ALEX GONZALES, AND WE HOPE THAT YOU WOULD BREAK THIS OUT AT ONCE:

“IT IS A GENERAL OBSERVATION THAT THE GOVERNMENT OF MAN AND ALL FORMS OF RELIGIOUS GROUPS COMES TO A “ DEAD END”. THE MARAWI SEIGE AND THE BMFF INCIDENT WILL FALL INTO A FULL BLOWN RELIGIOUS WAR BETWEEN CHRISTIANS AND MUSLIMS AND FINANCED BY CIA PENTAGON ISIS WHICH IS ALSO THE TERRORIST GROUP OF MUSLIM MILITANTS THAT DESTROYED THE MIDDLE EAST. AT THESE JUNCTURE, THE INCOMING CIVIL WAR WILL BE VERY BLOODY AND MARTIAL LAW WILL BE DECLARED NATIONWIDE. A CIVILIAN MILITARY JUNTA WILL BE ESTABLISHED AND SUSPENSION OF WRIT OF HABEAS CORPUS WILL BE IMPLEMENTED. THIS IS A DARK MOMENT OF OUR HISTORY FOR INNOCENT CIVILIANS AND CHILDREN WILL BE VICTIMS OF HOMELESSNESS, HUNGER, SICKNESS AND DEATH THAT WILL BE MAGNANIMOUS THE CIVIL GOVERNMENT CANNOT CARRY ANYMORE THE RESCUE OPERATION AND ASSISTANCE. CONSIDER ALSO THE INFRASTRUCTURE THAT WILL BE DESTROYED AS MILITARY OPERATION IS ONGOING AGAINST THE REBEL GROUPS. TO PREPARE FOR THESE EVENTUALITY, WE HAVE TO ADVISE THE PUBLIC TO START STOCKING FOOD ITEMS LIKE RICE, CANNED GOODS, BASIC FOOD SUPPLIES FOR DAILY CONSUMPTION , CANDLES, MATCHES, FLASHLIGHTS, PORTABLE RADIOS , BLANKETS, MEDICAL KITS, AND ALL NECESSITIES THAT THEY COULD THINK OF IN ANY EMERGENCY.”

MANY OF THE STATE’S DISTINGUISHED CITIZENS PALPABLY RECALLS NOT ONLY NAMES OF EMPIRE HEADS LIKE ELI AND EDWARDS BUT ALSO OUR LEADERS LIKE ELLIX, NATHAN AND ETHAN, AS WELL AS OUR BELOVED CO-YOKBEARERS LIKE ISSA MITCHEL, ELISA, WHITNEY, AND OUR COMRADES AT BLOC TALENT GROUP, AMONG OTHERS.

THE EMPIRE HAD JUST RECENTLY RELEASED A FILM EXPECTED TO EXPLOIT AND ONCE MORE HUNT TO DEATH CONCERNED YOKEBEARERS, DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF ANOTHER CONNECTICUT CITIZEN, BARNUM.

THE MINIONS, WHO ESTABLISHED THE NEWEST EMPIRE BASTION ON THE STATE, HAS ONE OF THEIR TOP OFFICIALS, JOJO DE GUZMAN, HAILING FROM CONNECTICUT TOO.

CONCERNING THE PRESENTLY-RUNNING NERONIAN BIENNIAL CONFERENCE, I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU AN EMPIRE #AGENDA IN FORCE (2 THESSALONIANS 2) SINCE WAY BACK THEN: I COULD RECALL THAT WHEN I WAS YOUNG THE NERONIANS HAD PUBLISHED A FEATURE ON THEIR MAGAZINE WAY BACK THEN WHEN THEIR MAGAZINE WAS STILL MEETING GODHEAD’S STANDARDS OF TRANSPARENCY, TACKLING ABOUT THE BIBLICAL MENTION OF ‘HANDS’. YEARS LATER ON THIS BECAME THE THEME OF THE EMPIRE’S OFFICIAL FUNDRAISER SONG FOR THE COMMONDOMINION’S PASSOVER VICTORY IN ORLANDO. NO WONDER THE EMPIRE RELAYED THIS WEEKEND THE MINION LECTURE OF JUNE 30, 2017 WHERE ‘HANDS’ WERE PALPABLY MENTIONED TOO.

AS FOR THIS YOKEBEARER WHO FULLY SUBMITTED TO THE EMPIRE’S HOMOSEXUAL POLICIES AND YET WAS ULTIMATELY MARTYRED BY THE EMPIRE IN SPAIN (https://www.facebook.com/pedro.aunion), WE COULD SEE THAT THE EMPIRE IS YET AGAIN IN SELF-PERSECUTION. IT IS SO UNFORGIVABLE THAT THE EMPIRE KILLS YOKEBEARERS IF ONLY TO STOP THEM FROM REALIZING THAT THEY NEED ME AND THIS COMMONDOMINION, AND IT IS SO MUCH INTOLERABLE THAT THESE YOKEBEARERS RATHER OPT TO DISMISS MY EXISTENCE, THEIR IMPERENT NEED FOR THIS COMMONDOMINION, AND CHOOSE TO DIE WITHOUT BEING GIVEN CHANCE TO PERUSE AND PUT FAITH IN OUR WORK HERE FOR THEIR SAKE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmxuPzF8IoQ). YOKEBEARERS EVERYWHERE, REALLY NEED TO GET TO KNOW (ISAIAH 46) ABOUT US NOW MORE THAN EVER, BECAUSE THE EMPIRE IS ADVANCING THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA TO ONCE MORE BRINK OUR NATIONS TO CIVIL WARS, JUST AS THE REPOST ABOVE TOLD US (http://reformation.org/civil-war-continues.html AND http://reformation.org/confederate-states.html).

“There is a fact which is too much ignored by the American people, and with which I am acquainted only since I became President; it is that the best, the leading families of the South have received their education in great part, if not in whole, from the Jesuits and the nuns. Hence those degrading principles of slavery, pride, cruelty, which are as a second nature among so many of those people. Hence that strange want of fair play, humanity; that implacable hatred against the ideas of equality and liberty as we find them in the Gospel of Christ. You do not ignore that the first settlers of Louisiana, Florida, New Mexico, Texas, South California and Missouri were Roman Catholics, and that their first teachers were Jesuits. It is true that those states have been conquered or bought by us since. But Rome had put the deadly virus of her antisocial and anti-Christian maxims into the veins of the people before they became American citizens. Unfortunately, the Jesuits and the nuns have in great part remained the teachers of those people since. They have continued in a silent, but most efficacious way, to spread their hatred against our institutions, our laws, our schools, our rights and our liberties in such a way that this terrible conflict became unavoidable between the North and the South. As I told you before, it is to Popery that we owe this terrible civil war.” -ABRAHAM LINCOLN, ‘5O YEARS IN THE CHURCH OF ROME’ (ANOTHER #AGENDA: JULY 15, 1992, BILL CLINTON AND JOHN PAUL THE 2ND SWITCHED PLACES FOR A DAY, ALSO HELD BETWEEN BUSH AND REAGAN ON JULY 14)

WE RECEIVED ONCE MORE HIGHLY-CLASSIFIED EMPIRE INTELLIGENCE REPORT ON WHOM THEY SHALL ATTACK NEXT IN THE FORTHCOMING DAYS.

THE EMPIRE IS GOING TO ATTACK OUR COMRADES AND COLLEAGUES (JUDGES 14) SUCH AS SIR ZAYN MALIK AND LADY @SammiCesario ON ACCOUNT OF THEIR REFUSAL TO GIVE IN TO EMPIRE CONDITIONS AND CONDUCTS.

THE EMPIRE IS BENT TO CLEAR WAY IN FAVOR OF ‘LITTLE MIX’ (DANIEL 8, REVELATION 13,17) ANY OTHER GIRL GROUP EXISTING, AND THE EMPIRE IS BENT TO ATTACK ‘FIFTH HARMONY’ THE WAY THE EMPIRE ALREADY DID WITH OUR VERY OWN ‘GRL’ NOT ONLY IN ACCOUNT OF LITTLE MIX BUT ALSO IN FAVOR OF THEIR FORMER MEMBER.

THE EMPIRE, AS WE HAD ALREADY MENTIONED ABOVE, WILL STILL NOT FORGIVE ANY YOKEBEARER EVEN IF THEY ARE ALREADY ON THE EMPIRE’S SIDE, JUST AS (REVELATION 2-3) SIRS WAYNE AND WHEELDON.

RESTORE EAST GERMANY

SEPARATE FLANDERS (NORTH BELGIUM)

DIVIDE SOUTH AFRICA INTO THE ORIGINAL INDEPENDENT STATES IT WAS WAY BACK THEN

UPHOLD SABAH AS AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE PHILIPPINES

UPHOLD SOUTH IRELAND AND THE WHOLE OF FRANCE, TOGETHER WITH NORTHERN IRELAND, SCOTLAND, WALES AND ENGLAND AS UNDER THE JURISDICTION OF THE BRITISH REPUBLIC OF ISRAEL (UNITED KINGDOM)

UPHOLD ALL EMPIRE TERRITORIES IN CENTRAL-SOUTH AMERICA, GREENLAND AND CANADA AS UNDER THE JURISDICTION OF THE UNITED SAINTS OF ISRAEL (UNITED STATES OF NORTH AMERICA)

DIVIDE SPAIN INTO THE ORIGINAL INDEPENDENT STATES IT WAS WAY BACK THEN

RESTORE ALL FORMER SOVIET REPUBLICS AND INCLUDE AFGHANISTAN UNDER THE JURISDICTION OF RUSSIA

RESTORE THE FORMER COUNTRIES OF POLAND-LITHUANIA, YUGOSLAVIA AND CZECHOSLOVAKIA, AND KIN THEM ALSO WITH GREECE, SAN MARINO, HUNGARY AND CYPRUS TOGETHER WITH RUSSIA

PLACE KUWAIT UNDER IRAQ, AND COMBINE IRAQ, IRAN, LEBANON AND SYRIA TOGETHER

UPHOLD TAIWAN, HONGKONG AND MACAU UNDER CHINA

UPHOLD THE NORTH AND SOUTH POLES AS OUR NEW SETTLEMENTS

AND AS FOR THIS EMPIRE, YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO TELL YOU EVERY TIME I EXPOSE YOUR PLOTS AND THEN AFTERWARDS YOU’LL SAY THAT I JUST MADE THAT UP BECAUSE I HAD ALREADY EXPOSED YOU. YOU EVEN BEGGED ME NOT TO DO THIS EXPOSE BUT I’M SO MUCH SURE THAT YOU HAVE SO MANY BACK-UPS ON TOP OF BACK-UPS AS YOU ONCE PUT IT. DON’T WORRY, I’LL SEE TO IT THAT YOU’LL PAY NOW FOR ALL YOU DO AGAINST OUR FRIENDS.

EVER TRULY YOURS, ON BEHALF OF BROTHER NATHANIEL MANALO,

JOSEPH

@KathJenkins @zaynmalik @chriswheeldon2 #GodsTinyDancer dying for you. RT now pls, thanks. #nvmlindseyallan GUYS IN GODHEAD, BEFORE WE BEGIN, WE WOULD LIKE TO REPOST FOR YOUR URGENT KNOWLEDGE A BREAKING IN REVELATION FROM ONE OF OUR VERY OWN, SIR ALEX GONZALES, AND WE HOPE THAT YOU WOULD BREAK THIS OUT AT ONCE:

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