#and also tbh bc my mom would no joke actually maybe kill herself if she ever learned im w a guy whos not muslim and he is

[allexche]

s7

I actually wrote a whole superlong essay about characters’ weird behaviour after S7 and it was just to rant, I can’t hold it(( And I miss Keith tbh. Everything is just my personal opinion and I don’t try to convince anyone, etc etc

There are many things I didn’t like in S7, and the plot holes (as usual) or putting too much action and new characters not having actual screentime to introduce them are one of them. And to be honest I’d be glad to say that VLD is about the plot, the story is important but can’t say it genuinely bc the plot didn’t surprise me in general but made me confused with the ways it was executed, like... basic why what & how are still there lol

But the thing which I’m frustrated the most with is the characters who act as if they weren’t themselves. We were given enough in previous first seasons to get an idea about their behavior and potential actions and this is why I feel deceived. 

Keith made me confused by his sudden step back to S1-2 and S3 when he was that edgy and kind of rude to the others. Here we’re supposed to see 2 y older than the other paladins Keith who was taught by his Mom to become a good leader. And then we see that he actually makes a very sarcastic line towards Allura about her dead father who she’s very proud of and misses as hell. And who’s known as a great warrior btw. I mean, look, it’s Keith and he fought with James back at the Garrison for a bad bully joke related to his passed parents. No way Keith actually thought Alfor was bad. So, do I have to take it like he just knew it would hurt her and did it just because he was as stressed as the others, not that supposedly mature? No way he wanted to hurt her. So, they can tell us it was because of becoming mad in the outer space but sorry. He lost his composure and just made it up at that moment? Is he really that bad in nature? We were shown him being nice, gentle and caring inside and so grown up. What was that? And I really hope that Lance taking Allura’s side wasn’t meant to be romantically coded, otherwise, the idea of defending a person only being romantically interested in them makes me sick.

Next. Hunk & Lance being close friends? I guess I remember that somewhere in S2 where I could actually see and feel it. Last season I watched Hunk making fun of Lance and getting distanced at the moment he needed some friends support. This season I see that Lance, this selfless and caring sweet boy who knows pretty well how bad it feels to be separated from his family doesn’t even flinch and never shows any sign of just feeling some sympathy to his supposedly close friend. What? And it’s suddenly Keith who finds his kind words and supports Hunk helping him. Wow.

Pidge, oh my. I have a lot of questions about her behaving like this last season. Shiro felt pretty bad and sick in front of her eyes and the only thing she did was creating a programme to prevent potential damage from him because “she had some feeling it could happen”. Shiro, her brother and Dad’s close friend, a person who was kind to her and moreover, “legend” as she said. Yes, it was Kuron but she had no idea. And this season she was like “hey Dad, is Matt with you?” Because we were told that we spent 3 years outside of this reality and didn’t find him (or tried?) in the coalition, maybe he just managed it himself lol. Without and lions or other things. Yes, thanks, she even recalled of having her brother who she was so desperately searching for over the seasons. Nice.

Allura! She’s so kind, always ready to sacrifice herself (Balmera arc, saving Shiro in S2, ready to die in Oriende), and so serious most of the time, obviously not having a habit to crush on every handsome man she meets. And trying to be a better friend (admitting being wrong abt Keith etc), she actually was sad learning abt Lance’s feeling. And chose Lotor with this knowledge. And also just crying on Lance’s shoulder after being heartbroken. It’s kind of cruel towards him and yet she’d done it herself, he wasn’t the first who initiated this hug. And yes! She’s over Lotor so fast. There were 3 years in the Universe which paladins hadn’t actually lived, for her it was not that long ago. Woah. It’s so Allura.

Shiro, well. We were told he loved Adam back but wasn’t capable of the romantic relationship (yet Adam still 100% ready to be by his side until the very last end. Okay, the fact he had no any memory about him is really clear that the writers made up Adam rather late, but this time we see that he didn’t think of him coming back and the only moment he expresses his emotions about his death takes 1-2 seconds. And it’s just like I’m sorry, okay I have a lot of errands for today, I gotta go. Really? No single thought about him in the battle with Sendak who actually killed Adam. Like, he didn’t really care and according to the info we were given from the crew Adam was actually a good person and tried to support his bf as he could. So, this indifferent Shiro is suddenly portrayed as not that saint and good as we were shown all the time and it makes me uncomfortable too. Well, Shiro was attacked as usual and didn’t win, and was rescued by Keith again (can’t recall what time it was).

Needless to say that this 3 years thing and shoving Adam to the show (with such a HYPE) just for killing him as fast as it was possible were confusing. And yes, I can’t recall anyone who hadn’t snapped or being rude with Lance by this moment. And he was still the one who tried to protect Pidge (called hideous by her the episode before) despite the handcuffs and being weaker than galran generals. TV show called him DUMB tons of times, Shiro mocked him, Krolia snapped at him, Allura yelled, and even his sister called him an idiot casually (which would be okay between some siblings but summing up all these things it was the last straw for me). Accidentally Sam Holt’s well written arc and Romelle’s cuteness, as well as two Keith & Lance’s really good interactions didn’t cover it for me ((

P.S. animation is stunning and amazing! and the characters I was shown in S1-3 are so so dear to me <3

[stluciasstudentjail]

For Renee: 15, 16, 25, 38, 21, A, G, E. For Alister: 1, 13, 22, 18, 21, 16, 31, E, . For Cas: 3, 15, 18, 21, 22, 31, 38, 43, 7, E. For Cameron: 1, 3, 7, 8, 10, 13, 17, 18, 21, 30, 32, A, E, B. For Rory: 2, 11, 14, 16, 25, 35, 40, A, B, E, G

ok u asked for it. I literally had to wait and do this on the computer bc like… I aint about to do all these on my phone

Renee:

15: It depends, sometimes she says stupid shit on the spot (especially when she’s mad) but she stops and tries to articulate her words when she’s trying to comfort or encourage someone

16: LUCAS. But really, seeing Avery never stops making her feel sick in fear AND disgust. (not just bc he ugly)

25: Something she never liked to think about for herself because it’s completely impossible for her to live a normal life and not endanger her spouse. BUT when it comes to other people getting married she’s a romantic and loves seeing happy couples. (that’s why she likes a good romance movie) 

38: pfft she relives her mistakes constantly, but most likely the first person she killed. It’s the most often recurring thought, anyway.

21: She just wants to be able to live a normal life, honestly. She tries to be optimistic about it. Oh, and she wants to murder Avery so he can never hurt her or anyone else ever again :)

A) I like that she’s actually trying to improve herself and it’s nice to see her actually TRY to learn to her mistakes and  be a better person even tho it aint work. 

G) She’s so damn petty and destructive in her relationships, it takes a lot of effort for her to step back and unlearn the behaviors she was taught growing up. 

E) Yeah if the bitch wouldn’t go off on me

Alister: 

1. Maybe a half hour? He’s not good at relaxing lmao I wonder why.

13: He throws on mostly dark or neutral colors, which looks good BUT he actually looks best in red imo. He probably wouldn’t choose to wear it himself but wouldn’t be opposed to it either. 

22: It’s actually pretty easy to make him jealous, but he’d probably just distance himself and act like he could NOT care less. big surprise and not super obvious at all. He’d just never admit to it. 

18: The vague implication that he cares about his friends, family, romantic interest.. etc. 

21: pretty well only because he has people he cares about he wants to look out for. Oh, and he’s stubborn af and not to mention already too used to carrying on. 

16: Lucas, Avery, both of his parents… etc. 

31: That’s hard bc they all dumb af. but uhhh he appreciates Renee a lot for all her optimisim despite everything they went through. They made things a little easier for eachother outside of the whole dumb mutual crush they had going on. They’re genuinely good friends tho.

E: I’d just think he was a prick probably and even if I knew he was actually a decent person I don’t VIBE with that type of pal irl. 

Cas:

3: readingggggg.  He finds it fun and distracting. 

15: absolutely rehersed to sound as dumb as possible lmao. He goes over a lot of his dumb speeches in his head.

18: not being able to control himself tbch. Obviously he’s embarrassed a lot. 

21: He wants to try and get back to his normal self. haha can u imagine. But tbh he wants to figure out who he used to be.

22: it manifests in passive aggressive comments about the person he’s jealous of. He’d probably come out and say something if it were really bothering him, but he’d try not to overreact. 

31: his PALS. Renee reached out to him first, so probably her. She’s popular w/ the squad apparently.  (also I’m answering every 31 question outside of the rp otherwise they’d b different lol) 

38: His memories are mostly ingrained with Kate. He mostly comes back to a moment where he was isolated and calling out for her. He finds it VERY shameful.

43: He’d say he thinks girls are pretty. But sometimes, he also thinks BOYS are pretty. And then someone would say “bud ur bi” and he’d be like “haha ya!” with a vapid smile on his face. 

7. Being at his HOUSE, of course. It makes him kinda sad and empty though. It’s more of a bittersweet feeling.

E: Maybe in small doses. He could get annoying.

Cameron: 

1. 0 seconds. He’d have to go entertain himself or bother someone. 

3. Daydreaming, for sure.

7. fuckin uhhhhh sometimes just being around his brother can give him some actual good nostalgic feelings, but it’s a mixed bag because their childhood was… u kno, bad.  

8. By his mom? stop talking so much/so fast. By his brother? stop talking to random strangers u swamp creature. 

10: He mostly lied to his mom about where he was going, what he was doing, and just to avoid getting in trouble. He doesn’t really feel bad about it.

13: He thinks he looks best in blue. It suits him pretty well, actually.

17: He has very little shame, so no.

18: He’s a little embarrassed when he’s complimented by a friend or praised by an adult, but he just covers it up with bravado so u can’t even tell. 

21: Since he’s a very social person he really just wants to get up and hang w/ his PALS. and have a good time. 

30: Steeeeeeeveeeee

32: He’ll just say something off the wall or sarcastic.

A) Honestly? He’s just fun bc he has absolutely zero self control. 

E) Yeah he’d be fun to hang out with, just maybe not constantly because he’s kinda Much.

B) he was literally just supposed to add some more background for Alister, but now I have to deal with him 4ever. :(

Rory: 

2. She’ll laugh openly if someone trips or does something embarrassing. Usually she’ll just crack a smile at a joke, unless it’s HYSTERICAL

11. Depends on the circumstances, but most often she’ll just nod and try to seem mature while having no idea what the fuck is going on. 

14. She loves animals. Just not snakes. 

16. Being grabbed or touched without warning makes her feel sick. It really depends on how she’s feeling that day, though.

25: Something she’d love but can’t see herself being able to manage. 

35: She tries her hardest to be like “ok… neat.” even if she thinks it’s dumb. Sometimes she’ll make insensitive comments or be really obvious about her lack of interest but she TRIES.

40: She knows her own flaws very well, she just doesn’t go out and admit it openly. Her self esteem is crap but sometimes she gets caught in the moment and doesn’t realize she’s being shitty until after the fact. 

A) the way she’s slooowly working to the point where she’ll be able to kick Lucas off a bridgeB) my thought process: im need… more girl. E) nooooo and no. actually MAYBE sometimes. G) Her being kind of a fukin jerk most of the time is like lord don’t u get tired go take a nap 

[red-riot420]

Pidge and Matt bc I’m so very very weak

Okay listen, Voltron season 4 has some... interesting ways to go about it’s plot to put it kindly, but hey!! Pidge found Matt! And since they have such a positive relationship, I wanted to make a post to simply admire that, which kinda just turned into a rant about how much I love the Holt siblings.

Starting with a kicker, we see this:

which a) fuck you dude

Later, she heads on home, only to literally chuck her book at a wall (mood).

Idk how you guys handle stress, but typically whenever I get so overemotional to the point of chucking my problems at a wall, nobody is about to waltz in and ask what’s wrong, I typically just wait out my aggravation and rationalize it later. Instead of Pidge isolating herself and being all around disheartened, we hear that blessed door creak, introducing Matt, and what does he do?

He brings her comfort food.

He’s such a good older brother.

And not to mention, Pidge is so open with her family. She told her mom what happened, which is how Matt found out, and that alone shows trust in her family. Matt then goes to her to make her feel better.

He reassures her, and shows her that being smart is definitely not a bad thing.

Matt brings a sort of maturity in the sense that he encourages her, makes it a point to realize how great education is, and then pulls up the fact that he got accepted into the Garrison, and although it isn’t really news to us, it’s a pretty big deal to Pidge.

Which, this is a pretty effective move to pull her out of her slump. This scene shows their relationship really well, and Pidge is also super supportive of Matt here.

Look at Pidge’s smile, it’s so pure and genuine and excited.

And yet.

She was just stress crying over being smart and bullies and yet here comes her awesome older brother who just got into the Garrison? The school he’d probably been stressing about for months?

She reacted so positively, it’s really sweet actually.

Pidge then goes to get her book and immediately start studying again, and Matt? He looks so proud. 

Tbh aren’t we all

This was such a sweet moment, but there’s plenty of sweets to go around, I can assure you.

As someone with two older brothers myself, I can guarantee you we never went outside and sat on the rooftops before my oldest brother moved. We certainly didn’t discuss some super secret code to communicate through. We didn’t joke around and promise to keep in touch. “What the Garrison don’t know won’t hurt them.”

Matt and Pidge spend quality time together, Matt teaches Pidge things, and it’s nice. Even if it’s something you will never ever need, hearing someone you care about explain and talk about something  they know and are passionate about and want you to know, it’s so fulfilling and comforting to just sit there and listen and learn. 

Not just sit there even, Pidge asks questions about it, and instead of Matt just brushing it off as her not being smart enough or not getting it, he explains her questions to her.

Matt’s about to leave to go to space, and here he is, making Pidge feel better, comforting her. He gives her his glasses, which probably have no prescription because let’s be real, Pidge never needed them, she wears them all the time, and even Matt was wearing them during this scene up until this point. 

They’re bonding. They’e hanging out with each other, creating memories, which makes it hurt even worse when Pidge rolls up to what she thinks is Matt’s grave.

Youch.

Just. Take a minute. Listen and watch this clip. Bless Bex, this scene was so emotional. Pidge thought she had lost her brother. She thought she lost Matt Holt, the guy who made it okay to be smart and a nerd, the guy that brought her to the Garrison, the guy that she sat across from at dinner at night, the guy that she loved and cared about. The audience knew he was alive, and yet we all cried and sobbed right along with Pidge. I did. I am now. The Holt siblings have such a positive relationship with each other, they genuinely care about each other. Anyways, my heart is broken and I will never be okay with this scene because it just hurts. Moving on.

So, she finds out that Matt’s birthday is actually coordinates to his current location, yay. But when she gets there, she’s on the verge of pissed when she meets Matt (granted she doesn’t know it’s him)

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BROTHER?”

And Matt... pauses. Understandably, I mean this is probably the last place he expected to meet his sister. Pidge doesn’t stop though, and just about attacks him.

Surprise!!

She found Matt and yes, they do hug. Several times, actually, which is great.

Also Pidge’s smug ass face when asked how she got to space.

Ever heard of Voltron, even though we kinda like killed Zarkon which is a Pretty Big Deal?

This is the very last thing I want to see before I die.

This entire fight scene was wild like, they hadn’t seen each other in a good year, maybe more, depending on like time and all that jazz. It’s been forever, and yet they worked together almost flawlessly and were able to communicate ideas and plans without actually verbally communicating them and just wow. Their teamwork is amazing. 

Matt met everyone and was super chill about it, and seemed like he was trying to make a good first impression.

Which is immediately killed for some (namely Lance) in this next bit. As humorous as this was, Allura had said “It’s great to finally meet you. Matt.”

Pidge talks about her brother around the ship, so obviously the paladins and Coran have heard about him. Obviously, they couldn’t wait until the day they could finally meet Matt Holt extraordinaire, and Pidge just really loves her brother.

“Pidge never stopped looking for you.”

“She can be pretty stubborn at times.”

He’s just,,,,, Matt cares about her alot, okay?

And then Pidge takes Matt on the tour through the castle, something I think we all enjoyed.

“THIS IS OUr cow” :)

He’s just,,,, proud,,,

“Dad would be really proud” yea youch

speaking of which where is he

Also Hunk promoting Pidge’s hard work? Thank you.

“Because what are we, animals?”

Another thing to mention, Matt isn’t just marveling in the awe that is his little sister, “my little sister”, he’s working with her, and she with him, in order for them to help improve each other’s situation.

Matt Holt could be very jealous, his younger sister is a paladin of Voltron, something wicked cool and well-known. He could be scared or worried, because she’s in the middle of space and is at the risk of losing her life. He could be mad because everyone has left his mother back at Earth, but he’s not. Matt is supportive of her and so, so proud. Even when she whips out cool things like reality jumping and invisibility cloaking, Matt just smiles and compliments her on it. He’s allowing her to grow and be her own individual without degrading her for it, and it’s awesome to see.

These two work together so well, honestly, my heart can’t handle it. Also when we thought the rebel fighters were about to get blasted, I was about to cry again. 

Matt and Pidge have such a great relationship with each other, especially for being siblings. There’s something about Older Brothers that are entitled to bring a sense of maturity and leadership in their own ways, because the oldest sibling is supposed to be “the role model”. While that’s not always the case, Matt Holt is an amazing older brother and I cannot wait to see how he works with Voltron and his sister in future seasons.

[midnightliar]

the beautiful, luminous, inimitable @violaeade​ tagged me for 50 book questions!

1. What is your favourite book and/or book series of all time?

oh maybe everything leads to you by nina lacour! it just really gets to me

2. What is the longest book you have ever read? How many pages?

uhh idk what’s the longest harry potter book bc probably that? i dont... read books that long usually

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on its written date)

ummm i think and then there were none by agatha christie? i dont keep track by time tbh but i dont read that many old books bc i tend to have trouble reading them

4. What is a book series that everyone else loves but you do not?

the raven cycle lol

5. What book or book series would you like to see turned into a film/ TV series?

oh god most of them? 99% of the lesbian ones for sure. percy jackson would make an excellent animated movie series imo. i’m clearly biased but tasu/teota would be great on screen. 

6. What is your favourite stand-alone book?

most of the gay ones i read are standalones and theres so many good ones... i already said everything leads to you but we are okay and you know me well are also extremely good! of fire and stars killed me as well. 

7. What is a book that you feel glad for not reading?

god. straight ones? ones that i heard are racist or homo/lesbo/bi/transphobic, but in general i’m picky abt what i read bc i don’t read that many books.

8. What is a book that you feel guilty for not reading?

i was gonna say i don’t feel guilty about not reading books i don’t like/don’t want to but that’s a lie- babe if ur reading this i am SO sorry i never finished the last chaos walking book

9. What is a book you have read that is set in your country of birth?

most of them lol that’s what i get for living in america. i read we are okay pretty recently which takes place in new york, the state i was born in, so that’s a bit more specific.

10. What is a book that you own more than one copy of?

i have 2 copies of redwall for no reason other than my high school library was selling one for a dollar so i bought it even tho i had it already. i have a couple copies of some of the a wrinkle in time books bc i got some of them as gifts a bunch. 

11. What horror book made you really scared?

omg i don’t read horror but that one skulduggery pleasant short story about bubba moon or whatever freaked me the fuck out tbh

12. What book do you passionately hate?

um i haven’t read enough terrible books to say i hate them that passionately? but i rly kinda hated trc. oh yeah i read the first c*aptive pr*nce book in hs on the recommendation of a friend and it just made me so uncomfortable the entire time i really. did not have a good time with that one and i wish i hadn’t read it

13. What is the biggest book series you have read? How many books are in it?

skulduggery pleasant! theres 9 books plus short stories i still can’t believe i read all those

14. What book gives you happy memories?

aw sabrina answered this with the flywheel by erin gough and i have to say the same bc she sent it to me for my birthday, full of annotations of thoughts and jokes she made herself AND got it signed by the author, and i’ve uhhhh never felt so loved in my life

15. What book made you cry?

oh the book thief for sure. everything leads to you made me cry a bunch while rereading it even tho its not sad? thos were love tears. that happens a lot actually.

16. What book made you laugh?

skulduggery pleasant! there’s so many good lines in that one. my dad used to always hand me a book he’d just read and tell me to read a certain chapter he found hilarious but i never read the whole book but he always found hilarious memoirs too.

17. What is your favourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

lmaoo like all the books i read are gay? the abyss surrounds us/the edge of the abyss have really unique lesbian characters because they’re so angry and vindictive and dumb and interesting and DRAMATIC so that one gets a shout out

18. Have you read a book with a male protagonist? What is it?

what the fuck is that (ok i legit just finished reading when the moon was ours by anna marie mclemore tho bc my gf rec’d it and it was p good)

19. Have you read a book set on another planet? What is it?

does fantasy count? bc then of fire and stars. uhh chaos walking is on a new planet. a wrinkle in time involves other planets too! wow i’m crushing this one

20. Have you ever been glad to not finish a series? Which?

the raven cycle lol i thought it was a finished trilogy when i started the first book so i just never read the last one and i am so relieved

21. Have you ever read a book series because you were pressured?

not really? i don’t really feel pressure, i value recommendations from my girlfriend friends way more than things that are trending or popular. i’ve read a couple that i blindly picked from internet lists that i didn’t care for tho but that was really a while ago

22. What famous author have you not read any books by?

pretty much any author we were supposed to read in high school. any classic or even modern famous author i probably haven’t read. i’ve read like a dozen books ever

23. Who is your favourite author of all time?

tbh nina lacour is really up there. when i was really young it was definitely gail carson levine. i rly loved anne ursu’s books as well.

24. How many bookshelves do you own?

only one! and a bunch of boxes that i never unpacked after we moved like 3 years ago. my mom wants to put a big wall bookshelf in our house somewhere bc this one didn’t come with any like our last house did but who knows if that’ll happen.

25. How many books do you own?

are u trying to make me count?

26. What is your favourite non-fiction book?

ohhh i don’t read much of this genre. i always avoided it as a kid and i’ve been meaning to get into it more but i haven’t yet. i’m really looking forward to reading a sally ride biography tho

27. What is your favourite children’s/middle-grade book?

the chronus chronicles by anne ursu were my JAM in elementary/middle school omg. i also really loved the may bird series which i didn’t read until high school.

28. What is your next book on your TBR?

i’m about to start georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit finally! my gf bought me 10 things i can see from here and i love her so whenever that arrive i’m probably gonna devour that. i want to reread a wrinkle in time soon since the trailer comes out this weekend! plus a million others

29. What book are you currently reading?

i literally just finished when the moon was ours which felt like it took me ten years to read and i haven’t started another yet but it’ll be georgia peaches bc thats the other one i got from the library and i already had to renew them haha

30. What book are you planning on buying next?

um this old west lesbian novel called backwards to oregon! i’ve been craving westerns lately but as always i’m also craving gay content

31. What was the cheapest book you bought?

i used to buy a ton of old paperbacks, usually goofy looking sf or fantasy novels from library sales for dollars or quarters so definitely those.

32. What was the most expensive book you bought?

i can tell u the most expensive book i got for free was a beautiful bound collection of hg wells stories that i just got from some book at bea before it was bookcon lol

ones i actually paid for... do art books count??

33. What is a book you read after seeing the movie/ TV series?

nah i usually have no intention of reading the book if i watched the show/movie first

34. What is the newest book you have bought?

akdjghksjgh a lesbian western novella called from the boots up for a few bucks on kindle

35. What three books are you most looking forward to reading this year?

the rest of the gay books i’ve bought but haven’t read yet! not your sidekick and labyrinth lost, i’m VERY excited to reread a wrinkle in time and i also really want to read stone butch blues

36. What is a book you love that has a terrible trope? (Love triangle, etc)

crush by sr silcox has the cutest lesbian teen summer romance AND one them is secretly a rock star avoiding her fame bc her controlling dad was turning into HIS dream instead of HERS akdjghksdjgh its fantastic i adored it

37. Have you read a book in a different language? What was it?

oh no i’m dumb as hell

38. What is a book you’ve read that is set in a time period before you were born?

for some reason dave at night by gail carson levine popped into my head first? that was my favorite as a kid and i reread it all the time and i think it took place in the 20s or 30s with all that good good jazz shit

39. What book offended you?

hm not sure how to answer this one

40. What is the weirdest book you have read?

idk the may bird series was pretty weird. gone by michael grant? i read the first for a high school book club and i just could not get into it or understand it even a little

41. What is your favourite duology?

ditty the abyss surrounds us & the edge of the abyss !!

42. What is your favourite trilogy?

wow i really haven’t read that many trilogies esp ones i loved. i guess may bird or the chronus chronicles then!

43. What book did you buy because of its cover?

the maze runner! also bc i heard it was good but i hated that book so

44. What is a book that you love, but has a terrible cover?

honestly i can’t think of one rn

45. Do you own a poetry anthology? What is your favourite poem from it?

nope! i also hated poetry as a kid and have only tried to get into it recently. i have a book of sappho’s fragments and i want to get tracy k smith from the library but thats about it

46. Do you own any colouring books based off other books?

nope

47. Do you own any historical fiction?

thats possible

48. What book made you angry?

the maze runner really did?? for some reason and i don’t get mad that much but it just really had me steamin. sabrina also said grasshopper jungle and i’m inclined to say same lmao. i haven’t read it but seeing all the lesbophobia in not otherwise specified recently made me really mad and also upset

49. What book has inspired you?

aw inspired is a serious word to throw around. the miseducation of cameron post, idk if it “inspired” me but it was my first lesbian novel and that really did a lot for me.

50. What book got you into reading?

i think it was a wrinkle in time! or maybe roald dahl books before that, but a wrinkle in time was definitely up there, and maybe the shadow thieves by anne ursu

i’m tagging @reading-takes-you-places and @mywomensworld and anyone who wants to! i don’t talk to many people here but if you follow me and want to, go for it!

[sage-the-mage]

Okay so like a month/month and a half ago I was bored at work and let my mind wander while cleaning (as I frequently do, my brain constantly jumps from thing to thing when I'm bored) and accidentally created an AU I've been obsessing over since. It started out as me wondering what would happen if Miraculous Ladybug was in the same universe as DC (specifically the "takes bits and pieces from different things because the actual comics usually have me screaming no because of the bullshit they do to my babies and anyway I like Teen Titans (2003) and Young Justice and the animated movies so I'm gonna amalgamate them a bit" verseI made with Mal that's constantly going in my head). But nothing really changed so I kept doing things and wound up combining two things that didn't need to be put together and made Marinette not exist in the verse and- That was when I realized I had a problem but really didn't care. Sooo since I'm not doing great today I decided I'm just making a long probably rambling post for this verse because maybe it'll make me feel better. -Chara and Mal came to earth when they were nine and got adopted by Bruceman almost instantly -Dickiebird is two years older than them but Chara will always claim "oldest" when coming up with plans and is questioned on who put her in charge and he really doesn't fight her on it because she's definitely the most responsible -Idk the actual age differences between everyone in the batfam so I'm making up my own -Ironically enough, when Mal and Chara first got into the heroing thing, Chara's chosen alias was Ladybug. Because she liked ladybugs -Mal and Chara spent their first four years on earth trying to find their father, then never actually went to see him once they did because they were both nervous -Plus Jason had just been taken in and they wanted to get to know their new little bro -Jay's a year younger than them -Another year after that, when Mal and Chara were thirteen, Chara almost died -Mal and Dickie had already decided to move to Jump for awhile and try being heros without The Bat, and Chara decided to let Ladybug die (since the villains already thought she was) for awhile so she could see what a normal life was like -She then sought out her father to actually meet him -Who lived in Paris with his wife -They own a bakery -You have to see where this is going -The girls' mother Miranda visited earth at one point (for science) and wound up "dating" (it was like a week lmao so I'm not sure it counts as dating) Tom Dupain while she was there -Then after she left she found out she was pregnant and he wound up meeting Sabine Cheng -Also Miranda seemed to have a thing for accidentally having half human kids after visiting earth -Because that had happened before with some other human -Except the father of those ones knew about it -So she kept one (Valerie) and let the father keep one on earth -And there we have Slade -Because I just like torturing my babies by having him related to them too damn much -Anyway -So Chara goes and surprises her dad with her existence -But he and Sabine are both more than happy to let her live with them -Chara had already thought of Bruceman as her dad (and Selina as a mom tbh) and now she has another mom and dad and it was great -Mal came by to meet them and it was great -I should write that tbh -French is one of the languages Chara hadn't picked up working in the batfam so she had to learn there -This leads to slip-ups and uncertain stuttering that Chloe makes fun of her for relentlessly -Chloe still a bitch -She manages to have a normal life for a full year!!! -Then mysteriously gets these earrings that turn her into a superhero themed like- get this- a ladybug -Oh the irony -I feel I've gotten more sarcastic as this post goes on -Also she gets her first crush on a sweet cinnamon roll model boy and made friends with a girl who really likes superheros -In case you couldn't tell that's Adrien and Alya -Chara can talk to Adrien better than Marinette can in the show -She still stammeres a lot but it's not nearly as bad and it's usually blamed on her not knowing the language confidently yet -She pretty quickly settles into her role as Ladybug again -She even likes Chat Noir's stupid puns -Not that she'd tell him while they're battling akumas -Then Jay dies -And she's sadder than normal but no one knows why exactly -Because she's pretty private about her life and family back in Gotham -Anyway over the next few years she becomes pretty good friends with Alya and Nino and Adrien while doing the hero thing with Chat -Because I have a soft spot for the MariChat branch, that is definitely a thing -Chat likes to see what "Purrrincess" is up to because she's less stuttery and more jokey for some reason when he's Chat instead of Adrien??? -The reason being Chara knows Chat won't make fun of her for her language slip-ups because he hadn't while she's LB -Either way Chat likes seeing her like that -And Chara comes to appreciate his jokes and just him in general -And she kinda gives up on Adrien because surely if it was meant to be it would be easier -And Chat's accepted LB doesn't want to be anything more than friends -So one day while they're hanging in Chara's room Chat kisses her -And then they're making out on her bed -And it becomes a thing -And a couple weeks later Chara shows up one day covered in hiccies -So does Adrien -Neither offers an explanation and Chara doesn't seem to be upset by seeing hiccies by the collar of his shirt so everyone assumes they hooked up, which is truer than Chara realizes -Chara winds up telling Alya it was actually Chat and holy hell Alya totally flips -"GIRL HOW THE HELL HAVE YOU WOUND UP WITH CHAT FREAKING NOIR!!!" -Chara shushes her and tells her it's not like that -Really they're just friends with benefits because surely Chat, who seemed to flirt with everyone (though if she payed attention, she'd see it was only her as Chara and LB) wouldn't want to actually DATE her -Jump to a few months later, LB and Chat finally defeated Hawkmoth -They agreed to not reveal Gabriel's identity, as long as he gave up the moth miraculous -LB was very reluctant to do this, which confused Chat -Chat, after finding out HM was Gabe and his reason for wanting the cat and ladybug miraculouses was to bring his mom back bc he's even worse with Emotions (tm) than Bats, wanted to give him a second chance, and was confused why LB (not knowing she was trained by Bats and lived in Gotham) is so reluctant to give a second chance -After they leave Chara decides to reveal herself to Chat because without HM as a problem anymore that shouldn't be an issue and really it's been nearly four years and she really REALLY likes him so -Chat is just stunned because shit his lady and his purrincess are one and the same and wait he kissed Ladybug and she actually was interested in him just not while they were fighting and fuck his father was the guy they've been up against for the last four years she DEFINITELY wouldn't be in him now -Chara sees the shock on his face and, because she's pretty confident in herself, assumes he wasn't as ready for a reveal and tells him not to tell him who he is yet, he clearly isn't ready -Chat just kisses her and detransforms anyway and Chara's the one who's shocked -Jump again to a few weeks later when Chara goes on a visit to Gotham as she does every few months -She's kept up well with the growing Batfamily and keeps a good relationship with all of them -She acts as a mother to all of them, including Dick -She's pretty protective of Timmy -Damian wouldn't admit it, but she's actually his favorite -She's not judgmental of the fact he grew up an assassin or telling him constantly to not kill people, and actually gives him tips on how to adapt (which she'd used herself after coming to earth), and she's not always around so he doesn't have to deal with constant hugs, only when she's visiting, so it's a manageable amount -Jay's the only one she hasn't kept up with, and that's only because no one told her he came back -So Chara comes for one of her visits and brings Adrien and Alya and Nino (who've been informed of their secret identities) -Almost immediately there's an attack at the coffee shop they stop in by a fairly weak villain -Probably Riddler or smthn -Chara Ladybugs up and kicks his ass within two minutes -Cue people cheering and being excited at seeing Ladybug again -AGAIN -Chara goes back to Chara and Alya just -"GIRL YOU GOT SOME 'SPLAININ' TO DO" -Chara hesitates then takes the distraction of noticing someone -That someone winds up being Jay -He'd heard what was going off then sprinted off when he saw it was taken care of -Chara chases -Confused af when she sees it's Jay -But also excited because her first little brother is ALIVE -And she's just chattering and hugging him -And then he starts bawling and she's not sure why -But she's rocking him and muttering soothing nonsense and petting his hair -And he's curled in her lap like a little kid and just sobbing and holding onto her and he's just so happy someone's loving him and caring about him -Once he calms down he tells her that he had come back and the whole story with that and how after he hadn't followed the no kill rule a few times and the rest of the family was weary at best towards him -Mal was nice enough to him at least but still it wasn't great -Chara just keeps holding him and rocking him and assuring him that he's still part of the family and more importantly he's still her little brother and she'll always be his big sister -She reminds him how before she moved to Paris she promised she'd be there for him whenever he needed and says that still applies -The others finally find where she'd went and she tells them everything -Bruceman might be mad but shhhh he can deal she trusts them with her life -They finally make it to Wayne Manor and they all get along pretty damn well -Even Jay -I should write that too -Aaaand that's all for now

[ellescharacters]

ALMA /   60s  / open occupation open fc difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid

former war correspondent

got shot at in her mid 30s. got pulled out from the field and became a regular reporter - was pissed af about it

would make you look like a fool on tv in front of millions of people. also sit outside your office every day for as long as it takes for you to talk to her/answer her questions

in her early 30s she met a war doctor while abroad and the two had a kid they gave up for adoption 

met her husband in her mid/late 30s. got married. had kids.

idk what happened to the husband yet but.....

she was EXCITED AF to be living alone and have all of her children out of the house. she was ready to enter her silver years ya know? she spent her whole life dedicating herself either to her job or her kids and she never had a chance to kind of stop and say “who is alma?”. so she was ready to re-discover herself. maybe start taking painting lessons. travel... go on a cruise! why not! and then for w/e reason her grandkids (early 20s) had to move in with her and fuck!!!!!!!!! she loves them so much but fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

honestly will only bring her to the site if ppl will play her grandkids 

open /  late 50s or early 60s  / scientist  jeff goldblum  difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:  mid

parents had a lot of money. parents lost all of their money.  

he’s chill and hardworking af and actually doesn’t mind taking a step back and hearing other people’s ideas etc etc.... but people can be so incompetent oh my gdo!!!!!!!! it drives him up the wall

he’s probably a computer scientist / programmer 

twice or trice divorced

kind.......... of a neglectful dad tbh 

honestly will likely only bring him if i can have a couple pre-establish connections like his kids, friends, enemies, etc

VENETIA / 30s

PERSONALITY TRAITS: Venetia hates the idea of being average/ordinary, and has always she come off as this interesting girl who has a bunch of life experience (and she does, in a way) but in the end, she really is just /a girl/. her whole life is pretty much her showing the world how she wants to be perceived even though she’s a total lie herself. she tells at least 5 lies every day to make herself seem more interesting. 

POSSIBLE OCCUPATION: designer, waitress, bartender, gossip reporter, actress, burlesque dancer, flight attendant, model

Wendy / late 20s or 30s

PERSONALITY TRAITS: wendy was raised by hippie parents which... my god, she doesn't hate them but she also can't stand to be around them. wendy is: hardworking, sociable, guarded, liar, lonely, romantic, deep down a good person she’s just so stuck and wants more out of her life

POSSIBLE OCCUPATION: secretary, hotel maid, gossip journalist 

Genevieve (martha’s sister?)/ late 20s or early 30s / 

PERSONALITY TRAITS: a+ friend, romantic, outgoing, optimist, determined, dedicated, a little obsessive especially when it comes to romantic relationships. seriously wants a relationship she’s 100% in love with the idea of love and being with someone forever and she’s not ashamed of this at all. 

POSSIBLE OCCUPATION: editorialist, pediatric surgeon, art restorer, curator, pharmacist, radio personality, engineer, baker, restaurant owner

JOSIE /  early/mid 20s  / probs waitress or cashier probably  freya mavor idk difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   low-mid

sociable, romantic, adventurous, impulsive, privileged, naive, kind, fun, brave, self-centred.

rich kid who threw a fit and walked out and has been living as a “”poor”” person for at least 7 months now. she started dating a boy she met at work and moved in with him and they are v happy in their shitty little apartment............ and he doesn’t know she’s rich but when he finds out he’s going to feel extremely played and like the whole thing is just a game to her. it’ll be angsty. they’ll break up but ~love will win~...... but it’ll be hard.

she’s not a bad person she’s just very privileged and so... clueless and naive about how the world actually works? also young, which... just adds more fuel to the fire lmao

*MALENA / 28-36 / bartender probably kate mara or krysten ritter  difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:  mid 

walking shit-show and i love her for it... a lot dont tho and i don’t blame them

has gone grocery shopping wearing her pjs under some oversized coat at some point. drunk girl in the bathroom who compliments you and tries to (poorly) braid your hair. queen of unprompted defensiveness. vice-president of the casual self-deprecating jokes club. uncertified sucker for the underdog. board games & bar games afectionado. spends way too much time on the "diy" section of youtube. wine AND vodka aunt. creative curser. not an excellent cook but makes the best burgers you'll taste in your life - also pancakes, in under 8 minutes. walking library of quick/lazy meals. low-key vague personification of "I can't wait for my friends to start getting married bc the idea of getting trashed on champagne, hitting on everyone and making speeches while two people I love commit to a life of monogamy is a strong one". has -0 idea of what she's doing and no idea how she feels about it.  

has like 4 half-siblings and 2 step-siblings and doesn’t get along with any of them bc that’s malena 4 you.

(one of her step-siblings is actually her half-sister NOT her step-sister bc malena’s dad and her step/half-sister’s mom were banging each other while they were still married. she doesn’t know this yet but regardless it’s fine everything is FINE)

( listen... malena’s relationship with her step/half-sister is actually deeply tragic to me and i adore both of them dearly - the  step/half-sister has known the truth for a couple years now but kept it to herself because she’s that kind of person - she’s good to the core and she’s been carrying this secret all by herself. she’s been trying very hard to have a relationship with malena ... sadly malena isn’t being very helpful. )

malena worked as an assistant to a wedding planner for two years. didn’t hate it. nobody believes it and she doesn’t particularly care.

genuinely good, kind, and nonjudgmental people are people malena low-key admires and looks up to. if one of them becomes her friend, she’ll literally fight for them if it comes down to it. honestly malena’s self-preservation is very very high so when she does let someone in she’s 1000% ride or die for them. 

people have the tendency to just.... open up to her / talk to her and she doesn’t know why!!!!!!!!!!!! she doesn’t even ask them anything she’s not even nice !!!!!!!!!!!! stop this nonsense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc then she starts low-key getting invested

she always feels the need to defend/prove herself. basically, she never learned how to express herself in a healthy/normal way. she misjudges people's intentions and words more often than she should, but she's always so worried about protecting herself that she can't help it. also she has pretty impulsive knee-jerk reactions when it comes to any kind of abuse/bullying.

malena isn't a commitment-phobe; she's a repressed hopeless romantic in denial and she's been that way all her life but she only started truly realising it a couple of years back. she low-key wants to be showered in love and be able to love someone like that in return, but she's cultivated an image of herself that's incompatible with this. she has always worn her individualism as a kind of weapon and she’s conditioned to associate backtracking with weakness, so, yeah, she's been struggling with living for herself as opposed to the image people have of her.

i'm sure she's still on good terms/friends with some of the people she's gotten involved with in the past because she really isn't a petty person in this regard. (pseudo-)exs on good terms, (pseudo-)exs on bad terms, messy relationships, flings, something else entirely... i'm open to all things. 

literally every relationship or pseudo relationship she’s been in has been a shit show. often comical. still a shit show.  (like that time she dated a guy who was in a long distance relationship and he literally forgot he had a gf. or that time she got involved with some sort of bruce wayne wannabe. or that time she dated a violinist - violinists have.. issues stay tf away from them. or that time she dated an indie movie director who was an absolute mess of a person. fun fucking times!!!!!!)

started sleeping with her boss and may or may not have feelings for him.......... and he just found out he has a kid from an ex ....... a 13 year old kid..........please kill her

*EVELYN /  late 30S or 40S  / actress probably amy adams or rose byrne if she’s not taken difficulty to fit in a wanted ad: mid-high

was adopted around age 10 by some rich couple who really only adopted so they could get extra brownie points within their circle of friends…… but they didn’t want to adopt a baby because that’s just too much work ya know? this doesn’t mean that evelyn wasn’t loved because she was - she is - and honestly her parents never demanded any more or less of her than they did of their other biological children. her brother(s) often joke that she’s actually the favourite child because she never had a rebellious phase and she’s always been extremely appreciative of her parents.

(she has a sister who is 5 years younger - they were put up in dif foster homes and... it’s complicated. evelyn could have fought for being closer to her sister but didn’t, primarily because she was told her sister had a better chance of getting adopted - especially if she was lone. they haven’t seen each other in over two decades if my math is correct)

took like, a bunch of extracurricular yet somehow never fucking learnt how to swim

very polite and politically correct, one of those people with perfect posture. pleasant to be around but doesn’t socialise or share a lot about herself and her life which can really make her seem either fake and/or stuck-up and/or too serious -  actually just very shy by nature.

she’s often misunderstood by people who don’t know her well, or by journalists who don’t actually take the time to sit down and talk to her.

some people probably think she bought her career but 1) her parents are rich, snobbish, and pretentious but they literally couldn’t care less about the entertainment industry tbh & 2) they’d never buy their children a career bc they believe that if you want something you work hard to get it  

her career is a mixture of amy adam’s and jessica chastain’s.

the parts she picks are all very carefully chosen (and lbh when she first started she could afford to do this bc it’s not like she had to worry about money even tho her parents weren’t exactly supporting her). she probably started being credited in movies while she was still at college, but they were very small parts. it took her a long time to break-out because did a lotttt of theater at first but the parts she picked were always those small/supporting roles you know will lead you to the big ones one day and that’s exactly what happened. for those who didn’t follow her career she seemingly just.... showed up out of nowhere and jumped straight into the spotlight but she was like 32 when this happened and already had several movies under her belt.

her fiancé cheated on her one time and it’s a whole ordeal bc everyone has a god damn opinion about it but it’s... complex. the cheating was obviously all his fault but there was a lot of miscommunication happening and now... now she’s the one not cooperating. it’s very angsty and there’s lots of ups and downs and very happy moments and extremely sad moments (and they might end up taking a break at some point) and everything is a thousand times worse when your life is splashed in the front page of magazines. they do love each other very much, and that kind of makes everything worse. i have a whole plot written for it lmao

*GAVIN / MID OR 30S / firefighter or cook or smth else open fc difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   mid

As a kid Gavin had a massive attitude problem and serious unresolved issues, but once he was determined to get over them he never looked back.

He was never a genuinely bad person, it’s just that the environment in which he was raised, especially in his teens, gave him a very wrong idea of how a person, especially a boy from his social class, should go about in the world and conditioned him to act in a certain way. Even if he did help around the house a lot (honestly he was kind of a fiona gallagher in a way) he was raised (not by his family in particular but the community as a whole) with a very stereotypical notion of what boys are supposed to act like. I don’t think he ever thought too much of it, if it was right or wrong or just plain backyards thinking, it was just his reality.

He went through three decisive moments which essentially shaped his life. The first one was his mother’s death, he was around 7 and he processed it the way a young boy raised in the environment he was raised in would, plus he had a slightly older brother and it was easy to just follow his footsteps. Close as they were, their bonding was often over the wrong things or in the wrong way, and while they were already close as young children after their mother’s death they became even closer and that was also the time they started taking the art of being troublemakers to another level.

The second one was not going to college. He made it there, and on a scholarship (and he was a year younger than most of his peers and all because he got into high school a year earlier), but pretty much blew that and just walked away back home. For a while, particularly while he was trying to get his shit together, this was a part of his past that deeply disturbed him and he beat himself up about it constantly but eventually he reached the conclusion that stupid as his actions were they got him where he is, so he sort of feels like it just had to happen.

The third one was his eldest brother’s death. He died in a bar fight, or more accurately after it, and Gavin was there and he was involved. His brother’s passing really made him go off the deep end - extremely bad decisions were made during that time and a couple of those landed him in juvie. Even though that’s obviously not a good thing to have on your CV, or to just share with anyone let’s be honest, it truly the only time in his life where he seriously acted out, crashed, and then was able to evaluate himself, and angry as he was when he initially got there, being surrounded by people who had done worse things than him only made him realize that their situations and futures weren’t things he wanted for himself - they weren’t things he wanted to conform himself to.

Easier said (or thought) than done, however. He didn’t have any money of his own when he got out, nor did he have proper support, and on top of all of the things he had left on hold prior to going to juvie his half-sister also started getting herself into serious trouble. It’s not easy to get out of the place in which he was raised, either you’re lucky or risk it all or the circumstances just aren’t in your favor and no one is really rooting for you. He had some street debts to pay (both his and his brother’s), he had actual bills to help paying… it just wasn’t a good situation.

So he got a job and spent years just trying to do what he had to do to get people off his back (and it was around during this period that he started cooking at one of his jobs in a shitty joint). When he was 22/23 he nearly landed himself in jail because of his half-sister - at that point she was really young, she didn’t have a record and he didn’t want her to mess up her life so early on and potentially in such a permanent manner. Luckily he got away with community service (and his service included working with food). His half-sister apologized to him a lot, and she was thankful, but she didn’t really do anything to change her behavior. This whole affair was essentially his final drop; he was absolutely done with that whole environment and his situation, and he realised that he needed to go elsewhere, do or try something else, because if he stayed as much as he wanted to turn his life around it wasn’t going to happen.

Currently lives with a coworker but for a while he lived with an old acquaintance who used to be extremely close to his eldest brother (and by extremely close I mean, more than friends extremely close) and who was still up to his old tricks but he was very welcoming and didn’t bother Gavin in the least. Plus they had opposite schedules which Gavin found perfect because for most of the time he felt like the place was his alone (which was extremely important because it gave him time and space to develop and better himself as an individual).

He’s just a guy living his life not thinking too much about things or worrying about the future. He doesn’t trust easily though and he’s often suspicious of people’s intentions. 

PS: low-key really want a “we had a crappy blind date and ended up just having sex and it’s been about a month and i just got a text from u and wait what you’re pregnant??” plot for him

*ELEANOR / MID 30S / radio show host or uni professor, probs  both tbh   probably gemma arterton or olivia munn  if she’s not taken difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   mid

"Sunday morning with a slight hangover in the gym with no makeup on.... not going to get off this treadmill but I am considering putting my sunglasses on." that’s the eleanor #mood

if hogwarts was real, she'd have been sorted into slytherin (which is obvs a v important detail).

she's the legal guardian of her niece and nephew. she had a twin sister who died she and her husband nominated her as legal guardian of the kids - she's still learning how to handle/process this. 

(she... never liked being a twin, she actually hated it and she and her twin lead every different lives, but now that her twin is gone it’s... it’s odd and she’s dealing with it the best she can. she feels guilty in a way even tho she obvs knows their death was not her fault in any way)

she’s force of nature; a very well presented cocktail of audacity, resourcefulness, energy, and confidence. she likes to think she's just staying in her lane doing her thing but she's def likes to know what's going on and if you ask for her opinion you're certainly going to get an honest answer ¯\_(ツ)_/.

honestly she totally is a "when life gives you lemons...." person: sociable, determined, headstrong, practical, outgoing, super confident, unapologetic... she can be kind of selfish and pig-headed sometimes, and she does have trouble backing away from challenges... those are two of her big flaws. she doesn't like to depend on anything or anyone and she's afraid of investing in things that will lead nowhere

when she was a teen she occasionally often made questionable life choices... altho lbh she still does, although not as often and probably not as questionable.

she's engaged (i don't know exactly how long it's been, but it hasn't been over four years), but she's definitely dated/seen other people in the past. her current relationship aside, she likely was never in any long-term/serious relationships, but if you have ideas feel free to share because honestly i live for pre-established character connections and #drama/angst.   

*VALENTINA / mid30S / idk  probably diane guerrero if she’s not taken difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   mid

a bit of a shy child, her parents immigrated to wales when she was 6. struggled a lot but never once complained - she was young, but old and skewed enough to realize that if her parents were leaving so much behind it was out of necessity not desire.  

her younger sister was only one year old when the family moved to wales (so she grew up surrounded by english culture and fully embracing it - way too much, at times), her older brother, who got to spend his 9th anniversary in a small and damp house surrounded by no friends and family other than his parents and sisters, gave their parents a very hard time by becoming moody and picking fights.

unlike many middle children, valentina didn't suffer from middle child syndrome - she didn't have the time to, anyway. when she wasn't struggling with her social life and the english language, she spent her time devouring books, cautiously exploring the city, taking care of her sister, and making sure her brother stayed out of trouble (and, later on, making sure that her sister stayed out of trouble as well).

her father died when she was 15 - he'd been feeling ill for a couple months, but it was a shock all the same. valentina and her brother had been arguing a lot then (for a variety of, primarily mundane, reasons) and their father's passing only made it worse.

with her husband's death, valentina's mothes decided that she owned it to his memory to be a little braver - life is short after all - and about a year later she ended up meeting a guy who............. was not.............. a good person...................... but he was comfortable in life and she liked him and she thought he could help her give her children an education etc etc etc

it started with microaggressions and then not so micro ones and the next thing she knew her brother was getting smacked for lack of respect. it wasn't the first nor the last time it happened, and at one point or the other everyone got to experience what the palm of his hand felt like against their cheek or the feeling of his long fingers wrapping tightly around their arm - she got her first bruise for speaking spanish. 

her brother’s girlfriend at the time was an absolute angel who helping out and with the help of her family they managed to have him kicked out in Easter. valentina's brother's girlfriend and her family offering their own house as a place for them to stay for as long as they wish.    

anyway she goes to college and she’s ends up studying abroad for a while and on her first day back, she walks into her home and is greeted by a man she's never seen before - her sister popping up from the kitchen with a smile, casually and cheerfully explaining the situation. valentina knows, even before she puts her bag down, that this will end poorly. he sounds charming at first but she's met charming men like him before, and when she asks him to leave it's when he starts showing his true colours (she's not shocked in the least but she is, in a way, surprised that he put up such a poor fight and that it took so little time for him to snap). she ends up with a black eye and a bruised cheek, he ends up in the hospital. her sister promises her it was the last time.

her current job as a diplomat is one she loves - she had a good mentor too, which helped - but she never dreamed that she'd end up where she is today - she could never have, it was a dream that was so unfathomable it never even existed - and even though she has always worked hard she never even worked to have the life she has, not exactly. she never did anything with any goals in particular in mind. her only goals were always to make her parents proud and not to become a statistic.  

optional: she’s in an unofficial love/hate relationship with either a journalist or another diplomat from another country and it’s.... complicated and angsty af

FRANK /  30s  / late night show host open fc difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   low

all i have so far for him is that he is a late night show host. think trevor noah. probably was a voice actor at some point (or still is)

don’t have a lot for him so if im bringing him onto the site i def need to fit him in a specific plot

Owen /  idk  / idk open fc 

there was never anything special about owen, and (although it often made him jealous that his brother was more outgoing and less anxious) - he was just a regular middle class boy and he never felt the strong desire to be any other way. 

when he was in junior year he got into a car accident with his brother - the two were arguing about something stupid and the car swerved off the lane. since then, owen lives with chronic back-pain and his demeanor has changed significantly. he’s less approachable and more grumpy, in addition, he dropped out of college because of his anxiety which is something he’s very ashamed off. 

"eliza” (might switch to  a male character) /  idk  / idk open fc

✈ eliza was brought up in lower-class family in a lower middle class neighborhood. her childhood wasn’t crappy, her parents weren’t abusive, and she always had clean clothes and food on the table (sometimes it was hard, and the family certainly didn’t splurge, but her basic necessities were almost always met). neither of her parents finished college - her father dropped out and her mother didn’t even make it to college because her family didn’t have enough money to put her through it.

✈ eliza’s father, brian, is a first generation immigrant, her mother, karen, was born and raised in colorado. the two went to the same high school and that’s where they met and dated for a solid year before breaking up. they reconnected later (when they were in their mid 20s) at a mall where eliza’s mother was waiting tables and her father worked as a security guard. the truth about eliza's parents is that they clung to one another: the don’t hate each other, but they don’t love each other either, they never did. they stayed together primarily out of fear and concern that nothing better would come along - because it was convenient. they’re both people who could have gotten much further in life than what they did and, in many aspects, this is one thing that has always deeply bothered eliza. they never tried, they never pushed themselves, they never did anything for things to go any other way than the way they did. their conformism and apathy are two things eliza has always detested, and a part of her still holds this against them.

✈ growing up, eliza was very aware that she didn’t look like most people around her. in both pre-school and middle-school she was the only multiracial child. throughout her early years and teenage-hood comments and questions about, primarily, her eyes and parents were heard often - some innocent and curious, others less so. she’s not a stranger to maliciousness, bullying, and the direct consequences of ignorance, and saying that none of it never effected her would be a lie. her different looks and lack of monetary means always made her feel like she was at a disadvantage and she often felt jealous of her classmates and friends - of both their looks and possessions. not feeling comfortable to discuss these thoughts and feelings with anyone, eliza got used to process them by herself. this is something she still does to this day - she’ll seldom ask for one’s advice or input, and if she does, it’s because she truly values it. slowly and steadily, she began to use her insecurities as both a shield and a weapon - as ways of motivating her to move forward in her life, change what she could and make peace with what she couldn’t.

✈ her parents were extremely proud when she was accepted to not one but three medical schools. she was glad but their pride didn't feel like much. she didn't do it for them or with their help, it was all by her for her (besides, her father's inability to get an education and honor his parents efforts to pursue a better life is something that has never sit well with eliza, so his opinion concerning her education isn't one she ever valued a lot). money was a real concern but eliza took care of that all by herself as well: her good grades granted her a partial scholarship and throughout her years as as student she kept a job or two (even in summers). it wasn't easy, but nothing ever came easy to eliza, she never relied on easy - she was focused and determined and she knew exactly what she had to do to get where she wanted to.

✈ while eliza has always felt like she's the only person in control of her life, she's also always been well aware that, as a child and teenager, she was never someone who could afford to dwell on options and choose whatever she fancied the most. she either took what came along and made the most of it, or had to stay objective and practical. choosing to study medicine was a combination of all of those. it was practical, she didn't dislike it, it gave her good career prospects, and it was also an homage to her paternal grandparents - her grandfather was a doctor before he immigrated and her grandmother always talked about she wanted to have become a 'brain doctor'. while eliza's grandfather died when she was very young, eliza's grandmother kept all of his notebooks and she took great pleasure in going through them with her granddaughter.

✈ eliza’s main motivation growing up (and, perhaps, even today) was to not turn out like her parents. she doesn’t even consider what they have an actual life because, as far as she’s concerned, they’re exiting and not actually living. it’s frustrating for her, it has always been, especially because their decisions didn’t just affect their own lives but also hers (ie: she could have gone to better schools, lived in a better house, tried different hobbies, etc etc etc). in addition, even though they never accomplished anything significant and are the epitome of conformism, they often feel entitled to have opinions and pass judgment that eliza simply doesn’t tolerate. for instance, they often question her parenting (even before her daughter was born they already questioned whether or not she'd make a good mother, and they still grind her gear about her "handing over" the majority custody to her ex) and they were very vocal about their disapproval of her marriage, and what eliza hates the most and has trouble living with is that almost everything they said happened. (there are times where she finds herself wondering if they were right, not about the obvious things, like that she married too fast, but the little ones, like that deep down she said yes because just like them, scared that nothing better - or nothing at all - will come along.)

✈ she was 27, a surgical resident, and already a mom when she got her right hand's fingers stuck in a car's door. she broke three and ended up with nerve damage that prevents her from making specific gestures with a steady hand. so that, was the end of that. the injury rarely impacts her daily life unless she's like, trying to eat with chopsticks or has to sew something up. she's gotten used to doing a lot of things with her non-dominant hand though. 

✈ while defensive and often assertive, eliza isn't someone who likes to argue. it exhausts her beyond words and makes her relive her teenage years and the necessity to always defend and stand up for herself. while she was brought up in a house where it was almost always quiet, she spent a large portion of her early years listening to other people - primarily neighbors - arguing day and night. in addition, at college she shared an apartment with five very loud people who were always squabbling among themselves or with their significant others, which deeply irritated her. when it comes to her home environment and her relationships, she likes them calm and honest. discussions are to be thoughtful and polite, but if you get her going (and especially if you raise your voice to her) it'll turn out poorly - she doesn't back down, it's stronger than her.  

[deleted] MOIRA /  late 40s  /  head of the foreign desk LUCY LIU IF SHE’S NOT TAKEN   difficulty to fit in a wanted ad:   mid

war correspondent

got shot at

not a war correspondent anymore just a regular reporter

pissed af about it

will make you look like a fool on tv in front of millions of people

will be sitting outside your office every day for as long as it takes for you to talk to her/answer her questions

years ago (like, 20 smth) she met a war doctor while abroad and the two had a kid they gave up for adoption

honestly will likely only bring him if i can have a couple pre-establish connections like his the child she gave up for adoption, her ex, a mutual dislike with like a colleague or a politician, etc

NEAL /  mid or late 30S / hockey or football player probably manish dayal if he’s not taken

neal was born to an average middle class family and has two younger sisters. his mom’s a canadian maths teacher and his dad was an english cardiac surgeon who passed away when he was around ten.

he has dual citizenship which is…….. nice

one of his sisters is married and they’re relatively close, the other one got involved in a lot of bad things when she was a teen and it seems that no matter how much help the family provides she can’t move past her issues. neal’s sisters haven’t been in touch with each other for a handful of years now. even though his eldest sister’s decision to cut ties with their younger sister bothered him greatly, he too ended up sort of doing the same thing a couple years down the road when she cleaned his apartment of any valuables. she stills calls asking for money occasionally, which is… complicated.

about two years ago his mom started dating a grandpa she met in aerobics class. he finds the whole thing really weird and vaguely disturbing but just rolls with it.

neal finds that it’s important to have aspirations and goals but it’s even more important to roll with whatever the universe throws at you. life’s weird and ends too soon, the world’s a mess; don’t overthink things, just make the most of your time while you’re here.

he’s definitely not afraid of confrontation but he has no interest in nor patient for it - life’s too short for it in his opinion. he’s that guy that really doesn’t want to get into a fight but then his friend starts it and he’s like “god damn it” and he sticks by their side

he’s not loyal to a fault tho.  

even though she’s a very carefree, jovial, and relaxed person, he started to feel the weight of having responsibilities at a very young age (essentially since his father got sick), so he does get weirdly/crazy responsible and all grown-up when it comes to family and work matters, and he can be a bit of a dad with his close friends at times.

that said, he cares… but selectively so, which leads to him acting a little bit like a dick sometimes. he just has a “live and let live” attitude, buckets of self-esteem, and has never been one to spend too much time being sad or mulling things over.

he’s not one to chase after people: if you tell him “no”, he’s not going to hear “win me over”, he’ll literally just be like “k, cheers” and move on.

he’s only been truly in love once and she ended things out of the blue because she couldn’t handle his schedule and exposure & was afraid of commitment. it was gr8!!!!!!!!! totally did not fucking gut him!!!!!!

he’s someone who would really like to settle down for real but at the same time he’s not actively pursuing a serious relationship. most of the girls neal’s gotten involved with… he liked them but he wasn’t in love with them. he doesn’t feign interest, nor does he pretend to feel more than he does, but he likes to have fun and he isn’t going to wait around until ~the one~ comes along to start having fun. he doesn’t play games, he’s very honest about his intentions so if it’s just flirting/sex, you’ll know it. if he feels something more, he’ll tell you. occasionally he’s not being as clear as he thinks he is and that had resulted in some pretty awkward situations.

optional: he got married to an old friend at some point, they had a daughter, and they divorced a year after they got married. the press made a huge deal out of it. it wasn’t. they parted ways amicably and are still very good friends. the reason why they divorced is simply: his wife could tell that while he loved her he didn’t love her as much as he was still hung up on someone else, and she refused to be in a marriage like that.

[realisticallycynical]

Tagged again???

when did i get so many friends??? what??? 

i was tagged by @ask-minamikenjiro aka @hufflepuffisthebest aka parker who most of you know as that Extra person that blows up my asks from time to time lmao so let’s get DOWN to BUSINESS (to deFEAT the HUNS)

A- age: 17 (almost 18)

B- birthplace: Northridge, California

C- current time: 8:04 pm

D- last drink you had: this tea drink my mom brought home today for herself that i decided to take bc i wanted it and she wasn’t actually going to drink it anyway

E- easiest person to talk to: that’s a lot of people, not gonna lie, but i’d have to say my older sister, i talk to her about everything even though we’re nothing alike. that prbably helps tho tbh

F- favorite food: CHEESE I LOVE CHEESE but not blue cheese that’s nasty BUT LITERALLY ANY OTHER CHEESE

G- grossest memory- i don’t really have one?? i’ve never found things particularly gross, just unpleasant

H- horror yes or horror no: yeah no fuck that shit bye

I- in love?: um... kind of? i’m in an “it’s complicated” stage with someone and i’ve also been in love with the same girl for pretty much my entire life so i guess the answer to that is yes

J- jealous of people?: very, very rarely. like, maybe once in my life. and i was like,,,,, six

K- killed someone?: n-no, of course not why would you ask that preposterous question (but fr no i haven’t)

L- love at first sight or should i walk by again?: honey i barely believe in real love please

M- middle name: Alexandra!

N- number of siblings: one half sister and that’s it for blood siblings, but i also have several “sisters” that i’ve adopted over the course of my life

O- one wish: live a life that doesn’t make me wish for a repeat

P- person you called last: my stepdad, i needed a ride home

Q- question you’re always asked: “why are you still talking?” (usually in a joking manner from the aforementioned stepdad)

R- reason to smile?: um.......... good shows, fast updates on webcomics

S- song you last sang: ...Best of Wives and Best of Women from Hamilton it’s been stuck in my head for a wEEK OK

U- underwear color: wtf is this question lmao? mostly black and pink, sometimes white? why is this a question???

V- vacation: i just got back from vacation actually! we went to disneyland and california adventure for two days, then camping in la jolla park for 2 more days, then spent 3 days in san diego!

X- x-rays?: too damn many. fun fact: i have some weird nervous (as in nervous system) malfunction that dulls my nerves so i don’t feel pain or temperature as acutely as most people, so i get hurt a lot (i haven’t been diagnosed with anything but things like this keep happening, like i almost broke my kneecap a few months ago and it basically felt like a bad bruise and this is like the 5th time this has happened so)

Y- your favorite song: um... i have a lot of favorite songs but one of my oldest faves is Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen

Z- zodiac sign: leo, year of the rabbit

again, i’m not gonna tag anyone bc idk who to tag and i’m awkward so just do it and say i told you to do it i guess?