#and also seeing what wasn't talked about in the documentary
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Laurie opened her mouth, a strange sequences of fast breathing left her mouth. She told ST427730RN once that it was a traditional human expression of happiness.
"I once told you that we humans are from Earth, right?"
"Yes, you did. It was also part of our management course."
"That's the answer", said Laurie, her eyes were fixated on a point outsidd the window. ST427730RN follwed her eyes but couldn't see what Laurie was so occupied with.
"That is not a answer", ST427730RN insisted.
"Yes it is; it's not my fault you can't understand it."
Laurie showed her teeth. ST527730RN has to remind itself that it wasn't a sign of hostility but a sign of joy, even if it didn't really understand why Laurie was so happy talking about her destroyed planet of origin.
"No, sorry, that wasn't fair of me", she said. "It's just...hard to explain."
"Try", it said. "For me."
Laurie looked at the blanket. ST527730RN followed her look again. Maybe it has to also ask her what she was always looking at.
"Earth isn't just our planet of origin, for us humans, I mean", Laurie started. "Everything in our cultures is based of the ancestral land on Earth. The food, the stories, the traditions. In some cultures, there's a big emphasis on being buried at the same place as your ancestors, others believe that special spirits live inside the Earth . It's really different. "
"But, Laurie, I do not understand. Did not your planet became unhabitable around a thousand years ago?"
"Yes, that's true but...you know we humans love documentating things, right?"
"You always write your past experiences down right before sleepingh, how could I not know?"
Laurie did her traditional human expression of happiness again.
"Right, right sorry...anyway, the humans of the past did the same. They photographed and described the whole planet. It was beautiful, you know? Really, really beautiful. I grew up watching documentaries of the fish that once lived in the cool oceans and about gigantic forrests with leaves as green as on Orne-te'go, we should watch it together, I'll show you. Then you'll understand too."
Laurie looked it directly into its eyes.
"I do not want to discourage you from your culture", ST527730RN said. "But I really like you, Laurie and the thought of your sadness would transfer to me feeling the same, so I want to remind you that so far, no species ever has reformed a once made inhabitable planet into a habitable one again. It is not possible."
"I'm flattered by your care, '52, I really am, but it's fine, really. I don't expect Earth to become liveable again soon, I just hope that it's soon enough that I don't have to continue the tradition with our grandkids. That I can show them Earth, instead of only watching films about it. I have to hope that. "
"What is this 'hope'? It is a word from your language, correct?"
She showed her teeth. "Yeah, it's a emotion but it's kinda hard to explain."
"Try", ST527730RN said. "For me."
Laurie closed her eyes. Probably to stop distract her from these things she keeps seeing at the blanket or outside in space.
"Hope is...when you wish for your descendants to grow up on Earth, even if it's completely unrealistic by today's standards. It's when you know that something is unlikely to happen but you still believe. Because you have to."
"Why do you have to hope?"
"Because that's how the good future happens."
"You humans have hundreds of planets under your control, so why do you waste so many resources trying to make that Earth planet habital? I genuinely don't understand."
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Why is Louis relationship to alcohol and drugs so blacklisted in this fandom? I find his public promotion of it questionable. I don't wanna assume too much either because I know we don't know him personally. But just considering what we get to see about him and his life during tour for example I feel like this whole topic is weirdly untouched and kind of ignored in our fandom. Just to make it clear what im referring to here: we know for a fact that he drinks on stage, before and after the show, broke his arm twice and implied it had to do with a drunk state of mind, we see him at a pub all the time. He says in interviews that he lives very unhealthy. In almost every picture of him he either drinks or smokes. And this is not me making things up in my head. Louis himself talks about how much he drinks and that he does it to calm his nerves before a gig. He doesn’t hide it at all. At jimmy Fallon he had a vodka bottle backstage, too. He has vodka Red Bull during his concerts, a fan once managed to get his half empty cup after the show from stage and confirmed it. We see his behavior and we see his appearance and how he’s changed in the past 5 to 6 years. The guy from the snuts said in an interview how impressed he was by Louis and his drinking habits and that he just wouldn’t stop taking shots in on tour. If you know just a little bit about the consequences of long term alcohol consumption it’s hard to oversee it at this point. Of course we lack information because we don’t know him but I do think it's reasonable to talk about it more and to be skeptical especially since his fans are really young and impressionable. I just wanna say, I think we should be more open and more skeptical toward things like that and question things more even if it goes against of what we think of Louis and what we love him for. I think that should be possible since we have no problem to endlessly discuss his sexuality and romantic relationships, either. I already kinda expect that you either gonna ignore this or just gonna tell me that nothing of this is reasonable to do as a fan. But I just wanna give my thoughts. I do think it’s a serious problem. I don’t worry as in I’m scared for him, I just find it weird that it gets either downplayed or entirely denied by his fans for the most part.
Oh anon - I don't really know where to start with this. Anyone who thinks Louis' fans don't discuss his alcohol use haven't been paying attention to my anons, who bring this up quite often.
I struggle to respond seriously to an anon that contains the idea'we see him at a pub all the time' as a reason for concern. Both because we don't. And because it shows a lack of curiosity of drinking cultures and the roles pub play in culture. Even if we saw in a pub multiple times every week I'd find your comment really, really odd.
But I'm going to try and answer. Even if I'm also, ultimately going to say exactly the things you expect me to say. But the question that I'm going to answer is - what would it mean for fans to have serious and realistic discussions of alcohol and drugs.
The first thing I'm going to say is thatimagining Louis' fans as young and vulnerable and therefore somehow at risk by the fact that he drinks alcohol is an entirely unserious framing. It needs to be dismissed out of hand. The idea that popstars or other celebrities need to either live a constrained life or hide part of their life to avoid being a bad influence is an incredibly reactionary one.
I think the starting point of any discussion has to be touring. The reason that there's a high level of drink and drugs among touring musicians - isn't because of some kind of intrinsic decadence of the industry. It's that touring has very specific stressors and a structure that allows people to maintain a functional life while dealing with those stressors with a lot of drugs and alcohol.
There are risks with dealing with the stress of tour drugs and alcohol, and people who use drugs and alcohol in all kinds of way can realise that what they are doing is making things worse. I think we can say with some confidence that Louis is dealing with the stress of tour with alcohol (and probably drugs). But being able to say that doesn't actually tell us what impact the alcohol and drugs are having on his life.
If you're in an industry where drugs and alcohol is a common way to deal with stress, then those who are at risk of addiction are much more likely to become addicted. But it's important to underline that addiction is a much bigger and harder thing than using alcohol and drugs to deal with stress. And one of the biggest predictors of addiction is trauma.
The new documentary on the BBC about Matt Willis from Busted really underlines that. He is an addict and he is very committed to staying sober. But as a band they all drank a lot - one of his bandmates tells a story about throwing up in Matt Willis's suitcase. That guy was like 'I didn't realise how dark things are were for you' and still has alcohol on his rider today. To an observer Matt Willis and his bandmate would have looked the same - but they weren't fucking their life up in the same way. You can't tell an addict from how much you see them drinking - the whole point of addiction is a combination of compulsion and shame.
What does understanding all this mean for how we think about drugs and alcohol and 1D members? The first thing we need to do is acknowledge how high risk they all are. Any study of boybands will show that it's a profession with a very high risk of addiction.
To take that risk seriously is to acknowledge that it's always a possibility. There's always a possibility that they're in active addiction. There's often a possibility that they're recovery - when people disappear they might be in rehab (and if that was true that's really great - because obviously when people go to rehab it's better than the alternative).
To take the risk seriously means not to talk about it in a 'ewwww gross drinking won't anyone think of the children'. But instead: 'Addiction is really hard to deal with, and trauma is a huge contributor. I hope that any 1D member dealing with addiction has what they need'.
To take the risk seriously is to acknowledge that to say something is a risk means to deal with uncertainty. We know that they're at risk. We may learn more (and I think we have at times), but in the meantime all we can do is sit with the knowledge of the risks of the industry for people like them.
#The most interesting part of the Matt Willis documentary#(which I watched tonight)#was learning what they didn't talk about#and also seeing what wasn't talked about in the documentary#it's a very hard life
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If anyone relates to this even just a little bit, then I'm so sorry.
#• luna lavinchi speaking •#living with cptsd#cptsd vent#complex ptsd#diet culture trauma#monsters inside me#toxic health culture#ex vegitarian/vegan#emotional flashbacks#health documentaries#dark side of veganism#i should have never been forced to watch these as a child..my mind wasn't ready to understand the information nor tell what was real or not#-i cant try sushi or even think about fish without feeling physically sick and dizzy. i haven't had McDonald's since i was like 6ish years-#-old..i never wanted to share this information but i need to vent. I feel embarrassed and rude for not liking a food chain that most of the#-population does. Smelling or seeing McDonald's makes me wanna puke so bad because of everything those documentaries would say.#I will never be able to eat McDonald's in my life because of how sick and terrified i feel when thinking about the food even the drinks-#-scare the shit out of me. I'm so pissed that I'm triggered. All of the sudden i smell something in the house that smells like McDonald's-#-then the memories come flooding back and i feel like puking so back so i cant even eat dinner. i know this may seem stupid but i am-#-genuinly scared. Im tired of this shit and tired of feeling alone in this.#(anyway sorry. if you read my vent then i appreciate you)#tw food talk#tw diet culture#tw vent in tags#(dont even get me started on parasites cause thats a whole fucking trauma itself. damn it i hate it all. i hate it so much)#(also note: my therapist made me feel so validated weeks ago when i told her during my session that i was traumatized by monsters inside me-#-she literally knew the name of the show before i could even say its name. and she said she also cant watch it and that she saw it as an-#-adult who doesn't have ocd. so she told me she can't even imagine how terrified i was to watch it as a child who was developing ocd.-#-therapist W)
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did i tell y'all how i suggested to The Guy I Kinda Went On A Date With that we see a movie next time we hang out and his response was "idk there aren't any good places to see movies" like. sir. we live in new york city. what the actual fuck are you talking about 😭
#there are FIFTEEN movie theaters in manhattan alone!!! we WALKED PAST ONE while we were walking to the subway!!!#i keep second guessing my choice to disengage and then i remember something else stupid this man said to me#i'm just ANNOYED because we talked about all these cool things we could go do. take the ferry see a show whatever#and like. idk this dude was a little grating but i think we could've had a good time exploring the city or whatever#but no!!! it was all talk. he literally only wanted to go to one of our apartments to “watch a documentary”#like if that's what you want dude that's fine but i also think like me suggesting 5+ other things we should do next time —#— is a sign that we are maybe not on the same page!!!#i wasn't even into this dude to begin with i wanted to back out as soon as i realized he was flirting with me and i should have#but it's just hard to tell for sure and i didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to make a friend bc i have so few irl friends#anyway i want to say i'll shut up about this but i probably won't lmaooo#m.txt
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𝑀𝑦 𝐶𝑎𝑡 𝐼𝑛 𝐷𝑖𝑠𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑠𝑒
A/N: This is definetly not me projecting my love for cats and Regulus. Also, if anyone is interested in documentaries, I recommend you watching "Inside of a cat's mind". It was really interesting, and also a seratonin boost for me.
A/N: I feel like this sucks but I couldn't think of another way to end this, I hope you guys like it!
Prompts used: "I love her so bad" from this, "you are my favourite, you always have been." from this.
"That's downright ridiculous..."
"Oh, come on, Reggie! What better way than this to show your lover your new animagus form?"
Regulus swinged his tail back and forth angrily as he laid on his mattress on his front legs, even rolling his eyes at his dumb friends as they continued to tease him with his brand-new look. It wasn't like he could talk in that form, but he was so goddamn sure that his eyes gave his thoughts away. What started this conversation and the endless teasing from his friends was that Regulus could now transform into his Animagus form.
Which was a black cat. A cute and cuddly one, as Pandora said while scratching his ears as Barty and Evan made fun of him for being soft. He hissed at them loudly, showing his sharp claws as a silent threat as he nuzzled closer to the sweater under his paws, full of your smell and perfume as a little happy smile found his face, watching Pandora who had been petting him as she chastised the other two in the room.
But it did nothing to help.
Since when it did anyways? Nothing could stop those idiots...
Barty and Evan let out a bark as they rolled on their bed, Barty crouching down with his hands on his knees in front of Pandora who had been sitting down on the ground, shaking her head for him not to do anything that would anger Regulus.
But, as usual, Barty didn't care, and dramatically wiped a fake tear from his eye as he offered his forefinger to Regulus, who had been eyeing him with bored eyes and an evil plan, wondering if it was obvious on his cat face as he imagined the delight he would feel.
"Awww, look at our little Reggie! So angry and deadly, with his little claws and teeth~ You are so soft now, so cuddly that I can just-AHHH!"
But of course, Regulus' personality didn't change just because he turned into a cat and since everyone practically knew not to call him that name... Well, except for his lovely lover you, and Barty still did it...
It was only fair for him to bite his finger and claw at his face.
"And that's what happens when you mess with Regulus, Barty. He is still the same friend we have that absolutely hates to be teased and that's what you get..." Pandora sighed out as she rose up, passing by them in the common room as she got out. She didn't care about the screaming behind her, Evan cackling on the ground about "how Barty got bitten by a kitten" while the boy tried to convince him that "it was a literal cheetah that bit him and not a kitten" as if his cooings and awes weren't the reason behind that cat's anger.
Well, he warned him that he didn't like that nickname so he had it coming, right?
Regulus nuzzled deeper into Pandora's arms as the young girl giggled, smiling to herself at seeing her friend happy as he always was whenever he had that special clothing close to him. "Don't worry, Regulus... I know Y/N is in the Great Hall, preparing you food again. So, I'll take you to your precious lover~"
And if his face couldn't show the possible blush on his face and how comedically wide his eyes were, the way he jumped up and kneaded your sweater that he found in his room after stealing it definetly did the job.
His heart beated harder at the thought of seeing you, preparing him a plate with a cute frown and possibly cursing at him for not caring about his health as you made little talk with your friends here and there...
He always knew he was one hell of a lucky guy for finding someone like you. So caring and loving and supporting...
All his life, Regulus never had known love or care. At least not from his mother and her twisted way of showing love and his father's abuse. All he had, for the longest time, was his brother and even then, he never thought he could have more, deserved more.
More of that love and affection he craved.
So, after pinning after you since the firs year, he finally had the courage of asking you out... Even if he didn't want to think back to that day because of the high stuttering of his, a sign of how nervous he was and how important you were to him.
Because that mother and father of his might have failed at showing what true love means, he had plenty of times to secretly read all about romantic books and witness it with his own mind and heart. He often thought that they weren't real, that the author went overboard with all the struggles and fights the main characters went through for the love they shared with each other, strong enough to stand against every strong wind, army or even death.
He questioned whether love was worth it all, when he wanted something serene and comforting. He was done with all the fights anyways, he didn't want any of those any more.
He deserved that at least, right?
But soon, he realized that not everyone is like his parents. Not every relationship is disasterous with the fights and disagreements... They are what makes it stronger and more powerful, with every hardship that comes.
He learnt that without those waves and little obstacles in the way, the comforting relationship and tender love he desperately needed would never be his.
So, he gulped down his worries and confessed his love to you, in one of the many times that you two hung out in the Astronomy Tower. By that time, you were already aware of his feelings by the way he was so soft with you and actually seeked to spend more time with you throughout your days together.
Besides, you were sure Regulus didn't spend his time taking girls to watch stars as he rambled about each of them while subconsciously holding your hand.
But then... Another problem arose: Showing his affections, a basic need of a relationship in his eyes.
Because, as any sane person could tell, Regulus didn't have the healthiest of relationship with his parents even though he knew what they... had between each other was far from love. He knew he would never dare, and rather kill himself, to do any of the things they did to each other to you. He knew he wanted to hold you, kiss you, openly show his love, the way his eyes shone brighter at the sight of you as you skipped to him was enough of a sign...
But he knew he wouldn't be able to bear all the teasing his friends and his brother, with whom he recently fixed his relationship, would do.
And he hated himself for thinking like that, doing the exact opposite of what he wanted to do when you didn't deserve it at all. He didn't want you to think that he was ashamed of you, which you never did and gold him that it was fine he didn't declare his love out all the time like a certain older brother of his and knew he loved you through his actions...
But it wasn't enough for him, it wasn't enough for the voices in his mind to stop.
You deserved a man who wouldn't shy away, who didn't have severe issues with himself. Someone who wasn't the item of a fucked up ideology... Someone who would be proud and confident in both himself and you, slinging an arm around you while walking and give you anything you asked for.
Perhaps a free future... Away, in a cottage with some animals...
But he was a selfish man who wanted to be that person, to be the reason of your smile and happiness every day. He just... had to find a way to show all of these thoughts and feelings.
But he was bad at it... So, why not get the help of a cute animal to see what you exactly like? And show his feelings?
"I swear to Merlin, I will strangle that boy when I see him! He disappears all the time, without eating! Who does he think he is?" You angrily turned to your friend who was eating her fries as she stopped her hand mid-air and looked at you with her eyes and mouth wide open. "What? Who?"
"Regulus, of course! That boy will give me a heart attack at one point, the other day I found him literally choking Barty because of that nickname again!" You angrily scoffed as you dumped more food like an angry mother, but your friend only laughed because of the twitch of your lips upwards.
"Yeah, but you love him and his special treatment, no?" She wiggled her brows as she continued to eat and you sighed out in bliss, a loving and stupid smile plastering on your face.
And yes, yes you loved him and his stupid grin whenever he teased you and his sweet smile as he watched you do your own thing.
But it wasn't enough of a reason to not to scold him when you see him as soon as possible.
"Maybe. And yes, I very much so am in love with him but I'll strangle him anyways... He promised to not pick up fights and take care of himself better- Oh, hi Pandora!"
You turned fast to where the bubbly girl was coming to your way, excitedly waving at her when your eyes landed on... the cutest ball of sunshine on her arms.
"Hi, Y/N! I see that you are... agitated?" She snorted to herself as she saw how you changed your mood at the sight of the cat between her arms as you nodded absentmindedly to her, waving off her question while scratching the little cat's chin with a stupid smile on your face. It was a known fact around the school how weak you were to them, and also your boyfriend.
With you both being smitten with each other, y'know?
Unknown to you though, that cat was the boy you loved, and he was soaking all the love in like a sponge. He was grinning from ear to ear, as much as a cat would be able to do, and he jumped down from where he was seated between Pandora's arms and flunged himself up towards your legs, pawing at them to make you cuddle him.
Patheatic, his inner voice said but he answered with I love her so bad....
"Well, it seems that our friend loves you very much!" She wiggled her brows playfully as you giggled, not aware of the daggers the cat, Regulus, was giving to your dear friend. Pandora didn't care though, she knew he never meant any of those stares and besides, that was exactly the moment for her to leave him with you so that he could get his head out of his arse and see how much you loved him and didn't care if he showed his love around people or not.
Because, by the state he was in, he didn't know shit about the extend of your love for him.
"Then, I will leave you with him! Don't worry he is very docile and easygoing, I'm sure you two will get along well! Goodbye!"
"Wait, Pandora- Wow, she left so soon..." you mumbled in thought as you looked down at the cat still pawing at your legs with wide blue eyes, his pupils almost so big that his eyes couldn't be seen as he meowed softly to you.
"Aww, don't worry I won't leave you! But I was going to visit my careless boyfriend who forgot to eat, again..." you kneeled on the ground with a playful scowl as you took him between your arms, cooing at the loud purr he let out as he nuzzled deeper in you. "I think he will like you too, what do you say? Hmm?"
Yeah, love, considering the fact that it's me... I think I will like myself enough...
Throughout the walk to your boyfriend's dorm, you kept the same big smile on your face as you kept looking down at the cat and squeezed his cheeks with your fingers. Cuteness agression is really something, you thought as he looked around the familiar sight of the door to his house's common room. He started to whine and get angsty a little bit, not wanting this "cuddle session" to come to an end.
"Don't worry, little one! I'm not leaving, I will sit here until Reg comes back and probably beg him to let me have you all to myself..."
He meowed in response, wincing under his breath at how this was the only way to communicate with you. Love, you already has that cat to yourself...
You smiled softly as the cat sniffed Regulus' bed and jumped on it, circling around himself until he found a good position and stared at you expectantly. You smiled back at the cat and turned your back to him to set the food down on his desk. Suddenly staring at the dark sky outside and seeing how long has it been that you last saw Regulus, you sighed sadly, wondering when he will be back and whether you should get out of his dorm before his friends arrived or not.
Sensing your sudden sadness, Regulus immediately jumped up and meowed at you hurriedly. Even as a cat, he was weak for your sadness and immediately alerted.
"Hmm? Oh nothing, little guy... Just wondering when my boyfriend will come and finally start to take care of himself." You laughed when he hissed softly and almost seemed like he was pointing at the bed. "You want me to lay down?"
A barely-there nod.
"Okay... I think I can use some rest. Scoot over..." you shuffled on the bed as its silky feeling engulfed you, resulting with you letting out a relieved sigh as the cat purred happily over your chest. You trailed a soft finger down his spine and up towards his face, your hand patting him while holding him as if he was a baby.
And he freaking loved it, loved the feeling of safety of your arms.
And obviously, when cats were happy, they purred loudly.
"Hmm? Oh, you like me? I like you too, little guy! You're so cute and so elegant with your black fur and shiny, blue eyes." Regulus purred even more loudly as he nestled on your chest, bumping his head to your chin, and neck as a way of marking you. You giggled at the cat, actually your possessive boyfriend, and continued to play with the playful cat as he made several cute moves with his body and eyes.
His behaviour surprised you, since you thought black cats were mostly grumpy and "I show affection ONLY when I want to, human." kind of animals. But this one....
This one didn't even leave your side for the whole day and instead laid on your lap, purring at every chance he had. Somewhere in a muggle book, you remembered reading that a cat's purring often touches the paternal part in one's brain and that's why humans care for them a lot.
Which was goddamn right, even if it was the same frequency of a baby crying. But though a baby's cry was often irritating with its high pitch, a cat's purr was comforting.
Another reason to convince Regulus to adopt kittens for when you left the school, and settled in an apartment as soon as possible.
"And you remind me of someone I reaaally love, y'know? I'm sure he would like to have you... Don't tell him this, but you are now my favourite thing in the world!"
Wait... Wait, wait, wait! What? That was so offensive! A cat, who you knew for a few hours, took your favourite place?!
"Meowwww!"
Nope, he couldn't let it happen! The plan wasn't even this!
"Hmm? What's wrong, did I say something bad?" You wondered as the cat you adored suddenly turned pissy, throwing what you assumed as "cat tantrums" after whatever you said that triggered him. Regulus, though, started to pace around the bed nervously. You tilted your head in confusion as the cat he jumped up and tugged on your robes to make you get up.
Yeah, cats definetly have God-complex...
"Okay, okay, fine! I'm up, I seriously don't know what... is... wrong..." your jaw hung open with your eyes wide when the black cat you adored and showed immense love to was... None other than your boyfriend.
"Regulus?"
"Hi, love..." he shyly looked at you as his hand caressed his face tiredly, tugging on the skin as he grumbled at the stinging pain on his back while trying to relieve himself from the pain. "Damn it, my spine hurts..."
"What... I don't understand, you have been the cat?! All this time?" You pointed to him with your hands in surprise, still not believing that the cat was your boyfriend who apparently learnt to become an animagus.
"Yeah, I was the cat..."
"But... why? Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of you for achieving becoming an animagus," he smiled softly at how you didn't miss the opportunity of praising him for his accomplishment, and he couldn't help but wonder at how easy it was for you to see past the fact that he hid something from you. He expected you to be angry for hiding it, but you were just... confused?
Why?
"But why did you hide it? I mean, it's a pretty big deal and your cat form was so beatiful with your little paws, soft fur and big eyes- I'm starting to loose the point of the talk, so please... explain."
He laughed when you finished your rant with a blushing face, looking at him with a flustered face as you waited. He knew you wouldn't judge, Merlin knew you never did, so he sat down on his bed and patted the area next to him.
"Because... I didn't know what else to do to show you." You continued to look at him confused for a second, occasionally side eyeing the room as if a clue would suddenly appear and lighten whatever that was going on right now.
"Well, it's only logical to show me rather than throwing random bottles on the ground... But I think you don't mean you, being a liquid-"
"Cats are not liquid, love..." Regulus sighed lovingly as you knitted your brows and playfully shook your head before laying a kiss on his cheek. "No, they are! They fit into anything possible even an asymetrical glass box!"
"When did you see a cat do that?"
"My sibling's cat... Though it could be because it is weird..."
He laughed as you seriously started to wonder whether what you said about the cat was true or not, and pulled you to himself by your shoulders. He was grateful you changed the subject after noticing he was slightly uncomfortable but...
He had to be honest after spending the whole day with you, and seeing what Pandora said about you and how much stronger your love was for him.
Because he finally knew, he didn't have to be a cat spy to show you his love.
"As much as my heart feels like it could explode with love from you noticing I was uncomfortable and tried to change the subject," you smiled bashfully as you blinked your eyes at him, not stopping him. He sighed once before keep going. " I did it to show you... how much I love you and show my affection in the only way I knew."
You would have cut him in the middle but by the slight wavering of his voice, you knew that it was something he had to get off of himself... That this conversation was important for him in every way possible.
So you listened... And with every word passing his lips, your eyes softened for the fragile and soft-hearted boy next to you.
"I never knew love, I never knew how to love and show it freely. Mom and dad saw it as a weakness, others saw it as some inconvenience... Sirius was the only one I have, and even then, he was the one expressing his feelings freely. Not me. I always did it silently... Taking care of Sirius' injuries after mother punished him or dad beat him. I did it by stealing his favourites from the kitchen or learning how to make them when my parents weren't home...."
A deep sigh, one that told many unsaid stories and feelings.
" Then I showed it with taking notes for my friends when they weren't able to attend classes. I showed it by taking care of their many injuries that definetly weren’t a result of training but rather... abuse. Merlin knows, I know those kind of bruises like the back of my hand. Then... But then, you came along with your shining eyes and wide smile, asking if you could sit with me in the train and suddenly... I-I wanted to be more. For you. I wanted to be enough of a man to deserve your love and show it to the whole world. Like my brother who openly hugged people, and kissed their cheeks or nuzzled to them... But soon, I was reminded that I would always be his shadow."
Silence scretchted between you as you continued looking at him, not being sure what to do now that he suddenly opened up about why he was avoiding you. You definetly didn't think your night would end up like this, even if him opening up to you was everything you wanted, but you would never be able to know that feeling.
Feeling like someone's shadow, having to endure what Regulus endured... Something he was grateful that never happened and would never happen now that you were with him.
You wouldn’t understand any of it, but you could be there for him now that he wouldn't be alone.
"You once asked me... 'Do you ever hide who you trully are?' at the side of the Black Lake in one of our nightly dates. I kept my silence then, didn't want to scare you off with my strong feelings since it was still too early but not for me who loved you for 2 year prior to that night, but... I never did, not with you, never with you. But... I never felt enough for you. I mean... How could someone as amazing as you would deserve the love of some coward? Someone who feared showing love?" He almost spitted the word "fear" as he shook his head in near disbelief at himself and how "ridiculous" he sounded, and you hated how much self-loathing he had and how easy it was for him to point that hatred to himself.
You had to change it, maybe not immediately but definetly in time.
"Regulus..." you softly rubbed his hand softly to make him look at you, and when he turned his head towards you... You saw the tears pooling in his ocean eyes. Your heart dropped to your stomach harshly as you gulped and brought his forehead down to meet yours. A silent move to convey your feelings to him.
"How could you not be enough of something you already have, from the very beginning?" You rubbed his cheek softly, bringing his face closer to yours as you kissed his eye-lids. As if you were scared to hurt him even more, when what all the world had been doing to him was hurting him.
Regulus shuddered as a shaky breath left him, suddenly overwhelmed by the weight of your words. He lifted his eyes, looked into your own that showed only one thing and only for him: Love.
"You are enough, even if you don't think so and I love you, I loved you from the beginning." A gasp left him as his hands thightened their hold on yours nervously. You laughed awkwardly. " You don't have to say it immediately but... Please, don't be so harsh on yourself. It's okay to not want to do PDA, I already told you.... All I care is your happiness, that's it."
And with that, Regulus threw himself all over you from the immense feeling he was feeling at that moment, hugging you with all his might as you returned to gesture just as fiercely. After all, it had been a long day and you missed your boyfriend, the one that would speak about Quidditch nonstop all the while letting you sleep on him as his hands caressed your hair and rubbed your back softly.
Just like now, with the adding of inhaling the scent of your hair deeply which made your heart race sweetly.
And now that the stress of him was now over and you knew what was going on...
It was time to tease him back.
"Did you just get jealous of a cat enough to come clean to me?" You mumbled from your position where your face was buried in his neck, the tingles making him giggle as a groan left him at feeling your smile on his skin.
"Love, please!"
"What? You are the one who was jealous!" You giggled playfully, but your enjoyment was soon cut when Regulus threw himself on his bed with his arms still wrapped around you. You landed harsher on his chest than you imagined and you were worried you accidently crushed him but his sigh of contentment and the way he nuzzled to your neck showed that he was far from being bad.
"I can't believe you now have a nuzzling habit, are you going to knead at me too?" You hit his chest softly when his eyes shot open and an evil smirk found his face.
Oh, that's not something good...
"I already did it earlier when I laid on your chest- Oww!"
"Regulus Arcturus Black, when did you have a foul mouth!" You hit him with his pillow as he laughed hard and ended up on the floor while trying to stop you.
"What can I say, love. I have the most gorgeous lover of all Hogwarts!"
That little shit and his sweet tongue, knowing how to get himself out of any problem...
"Okay, you got out of trouble for now... You are my favourite by the way, you always have been, in case your childish self got jealous of a cat..." you grumbled out when his head landed on your thighs and looked up at you innocently.
"That cat was still me though..." he looked at you through his lashes as you giggled, relishing on your words and how they made warmth spread all around his whole body.
"Yeah, yeah, sure... There is something I have to show you though. I was planning for a few days now. Promise to not get sad?" He nodded without knowing and guessing what was happening...
But the only thought that crossed Regulus' mind, when he saw you changing into a pure white cat, was I love her.
As you swinged your tail around Regulus' waiting hand and nuzzled to him, he smiled softly and scratched your head softly while patting your ears. His heart felt so full of love and he didn't remember any other day he felt this much happiness.
"You are... most certaintly the most beautiful yet also annoying person I know. Being a white cat Animagus, completely contrasting me but also creating something so beautiful? Did you think I will let go of you easily after this?"
You tilted your head teasingly and let out a purr before changing back into your human form with your feet dangling off of the bed like a little kid as you threw your head back towards him to look at his raised brows while he tried to surpass the smirk that threatened to take over his face.
"Yeah, I know... But you love me, no?" You cutely smiled as you nuzzled closer to his chest, and unknown to you, he smiled to himself like a fool as he wrapped his arms all around your body thightly when your body reached where he was now sitting on the bed.
Oh Merlin, he already does love everything about you.
"Can we... cuddle like that? As cats? It could be our new bonding activity!"
"I can't believe... Okay, fine. Don't try anything funny though."
"Like what?"
"Like the meaning of that wiggly eye-brows!"
But since you both were weak for each other, you two soon dozed off like that, one white and black cat tangled together peacefully as their hearts beated the same beat.
Not knowing that the next day, Barty would startle everyone awake and embrass you while yelling "Our Reggie found another chich, cat, kitten, whatever! He is cheating on our sweet Y/N!"
#regulus black x you#regulus x y/n#regulus x reader#regulus black#regulus imagine#regulus black x y/n#regulus black x reader#regulus black imagine#harry potter x reader#harry potter x you#harry potter x y/n#harry potter imagine#marauders#marauders x reader#marauders x you#marauders x y/n#SUMMER CELEBRATION🏖
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As requested. Sleepy and aggressive dog vibes Logan. (here. Take your cuddly 200 year old alchoolic with anger issues and PTSD, you little freaks/ affectionate)
Pizza.
It's happening. It's finally happening! After months of trying to set this up, his plan was finally working. Wade has been trying to get this muscley idiot to fall asleep on him for 2 and a half months, and now the time has come.
It took coaxing him in by watching some boring War Marathon, a bunch of incorrect documentaries that he was prone to shake his head at, to criticize for their blantant lies. It started with Logan standing there, arms crossed like a dad who wasn't at all interested and refused to sit down, but now he was laid in his lap, snoring, growling at some bits of the show.
He would have shut it off already but the remote was on the table and if he moved he might wake him. And that sir, was a no no. A massive NO for him. Internally he was already screaming with excitement but his grunts were becoming too much to stand by and litsen too.
Come on- easy.. easy.. he only had one shot at this, and it might end up with another baby hand. Very carefully, he touched his head, and he flinched. Silently, he cursed himself.
Gently, his hand made full contact, sweeping some of his hair back, stopping for a second as he rolled onto his side, pulling his legs up to fully curl up the way he did in bed too. Again, inside of his brain, this man was squealing so much that he might be mistaken for a piglet.
Petting him for quite some time, he hadn't noticed that on the Tv they were about to start playing bombs, and now they compared. One of the louder ones caused him to jump, almost snarling at the idea of a threat in his dreams.
"Shhh.. shhh, it's okay. Just the tv." He mumbled, fondly stroking the back of his scalp. Now, focusing on the screen a little more, he would cup his hand over his ear when a loud one was about to play again. "I got you.."
The more this went on, the more progress was made, the growls turned back into deep snoring, and now Wilson not only got to play with his hair but also running a hand up and down his arm as Logan began to drool onto the pillow between him and wades lap.
This couldn't get any better. At least- thats what he thought. Until a different noise came from his chest. One that traveled into his throat but barely left his mouth. "What the- GASP Oh my god you're purring(!)"
Struggling not to make the sound of a squeaky toy, his grin was ear to ear, utterly thrilled. He didn't know he could do that. Did he even know he could do this? Probably not.
The purring was quiet, but oh so heavenly. To feel it through his hands was enough, seeing as whenever someone was shouting, shooting, or simply talking too loud, he couldn't hear it. But that didn't matter. There was a much bigger point than that. He was Safe.
Wade had made his body relax so much that he did the unthinkable. Become vaunerable.
This, unfortunately, ended much quicker than he would have liked. The disc skipped, and suddenly, there was a massive scene with screaming, guns, firing, and bombs being dropped.
Honestly, it made him jump too just from how dozy he became with all the domesticity. But if he was even startled.. Within seconds, all of that progress was down the drain. Now, here he was, up and heaving, claws out and on edge, his eyes wide with fear and anger.
Wade could have sworn he had seen him shaking, too. Just a tiny bit in the arms.
With all the hairs on his arms and neck raised, the snarling, baring of teeth and the way he was stanced, Wade knew he was fucked. Like- Uber fucked. And not the way he preferred. Oh shit- this wasn't fair. How could he look like he was about to kill him and still be this hot?
Slowly, he stood, putting his hands up.
"Hey woah woah woah- easy there, big boy. It's alright. Just the Tv." Nodding towards the television. Realizing this was a bad idea, he practically tripped over the coffee table to grab the remote and stand in front of it, not wanting him to somehow stupidly electrocute himself to death.
A snarl.
"Woah woah! Shhh- look. Look, watch. I'll kill it. There- see? All gone! Better?" But in reality, all he did was turn it off.
Looking around as if scanning for danger, the goosebumps began to cease, starting to regain control over himself and his senses.
"There we go. Much better. You're okay. No one's coming to-"
The moment he said this, there was a bang at the door. "Oh for fucks sake. Who the fuck would that be? This late at nig- ohHO Peanut? Peanut! NO!"
A couple of dirty play scratches and three new holes in the wall later, he was able to open the door.
Wrestling your super human strength, terrified feral animal of a 'Room mate' away from your front door felt like trying to keep an aggressive dog from attacking the mail man (which he's come to the realization that this was a weekly recurrence Man. He really hated strangers, didn't he?)
Except even Wade wasn't sure who it was, a bit tempted to just let him go at it and protect the home how ever he saw fit- but last time he did that, he made a couple of girl scouts pee themsleves and scream for their mommies and Logan felt bad about it for weeks.
"Yes?!"
"Erm... Pizza delivery?"
Still struggling to keep him from scaring the piss out of this poor teenager, Wade gave him a smile. "One second!"
Slamming the door again, he turned, giving him a stern look, and a pointed finger that he could have easily sliced off if he wanted.
"Put'em away mister!"
Another growl. Almost like protest.
"Yeah yeah GRR yourself! It's some scrappy kid, you're fine! ...Now put them away.... please."
Seeing the silent look of nothing behind those beautiful eyes that he often did when coming down from these kinds of scares, Wade smiled and coed, slightly higher than his usual tone. "Comme onnn. Put away your murder mittens! It's okay. My big, strong kitty. Oh, what a good boy you are, Oh yes, you are~"
Visually, you could see his shoulders drop, and quickly, he came back to his senses, frowning in embarrassment as he sheathed them only to walk over, shoving him out of the way as he threw open the door again.
"Oh god- Logan? Logan!" He called, cursing under his breath some more as he dug in his pockets for the kid's tip before he got a free piercing through the stomach.
Glaring at the 16 year old, He did that thing when his nose crinkled, sniffing this so-called 'pizza delivery' boy.
Popping his head through, under his arm, Wade grinned apologetically and gave the kid a 5.
"Sorry - He's not used to strangers yet."
With a huff, it seemed the man had dubbed this twig of a child, not a threat. Going back to the couch with a big grunt, he crossed his arms, a little embarrassed by his behavior.
"Bye!"
Grabbing the pizza and locking the door, Wade groaned in annoyance, coming back to the couch, too. Opening the box, he handed him a slice, took one for himself, and put one on the floor.
"Puppins! Here papa's princess!"
Within a moment the little dog tottered in and began to lick the cheese off of the floor pizza, wagging her tail, happy as ever to be eating the human food with her two daddies, unaware that one of them had just almost made a kooshkabab out of an acne faced teen.
Letting out a massive sigh of relief, Wade was glad that all was well again, happy to see him eating something other than whiskey for a change before realizing.. he didn't even order pizza.
"Hey Al? Did you order pizza?"
"Well, I did now!"
Oh great.. welp. Finders keepers-
In between bites, he glanced at him, teasing. "Damn Wolvie, what was all that about? Since when do you go after kids?"
"...Mmh.." This was a grunt that meant 'I don't. Now stop asking me questions, I'm starving'
He watched as he devoured the slice, grabbing another, only for Wade to slide him the entire box, smiling at him like an idiot as he fondly remembered the purring a few minutes ago. He wasn't sure if pizza was in a wolverine's proper diet, but he'd be stabbed if he ever told him that.
-And if they really wanted to come back and pry it from the Wolverines claws? Then so be it.
#Your honor he was hungry and scared#deadpool#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#wolverine fanfiction#blind al#mary puppins#dogpool#the wolverine has ptsd#wade wilson#logan howlett#wade wilson x logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#wolverpool#free pizza#purring#domestic stuff
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notes / thoughts on Terzo's characterization (Terzo is so disappointed and depressed and i love him)
a few weeks ago i saw this post from slavghoul which has snippets of TF describing the Papas. it includes this quote:
“He represents this frustrated old guy who hates everyone, especially himself. But despite his wounds and his darkness, he has a sense of humour and is endearing, like most of my heroes. The late actor Christopher Lee was an inspiration to me. In many ways, he is Papa.” (Metallian 7/2015)
i thought this quote was really interesting because i'd never seen anyone talking about that side of Terzo before. Terzo hating "everyone, especially himself" felt at odds with the charming personality he typically displayed. i wanted to know how that developed and where his "wounds and darkness" came from. so i did some digging for quotes on Terzo's history and characterization. here are my notes + thoughts:
something that came up again and again in my research is that he is actually quite antisocial when he's not performing. it seems like he didn't want people to know anything about him past his stage persona.
TOUR MANAGER: No one in the crew really gets to see or speak to Papa, ever. Only Anna and myself have access. He is not in the building and then he'll just be there, just for show time. The only thing you really need to know about Papa is what you see of him on stage. Ghost - The Devil's Hands (Documentary) (2017)
he almost never interacted with any of the nameless ghouls or the tour crew. in fact, he really went out of his way to avoid them. he traveled separately, would appear right before the start of a show, and then he would disappear as soon as it ended. in "The Devil's Hands", it showed they sometimes had trouble locating him when he was needed.
With this new era, can you introduce Papa Emeritus III? NAMELESS GHOUL: I don't know him very well yet. We haven't really done our mileage with him, so I am sure that we will find out. But he seems nice. He seems okay. Obviously, he's very close relatives with Papa number two, who was a little bit of a hmm. I'm sure that he isn't like, completely different, but we'll find out. He's a bit of a recluse, and he sort of travels on his own. And he sort of appears when we're due onstage and then he disappears when we're offstage. So yeah, I guess we have a little bit of a social disconnect there, but I don't see a big problem with that. I mean he seems to be doing well on his own, and I don't know if he has a little harem somewhere that occupies his time offstage, I guess. I'm assuming that. Loud TV (July 2015)
INTERVIEWER: How has it been working with the third Papa? How is he fitting into the group? NAMELESS GHOUL: We like him, actually. He seems to be quite nice. Obviously, we haven't really done our "miles" with him yet, so we don't know him that well. And he doesn't travel with us- he sort of goes separately everywhere, and he appears just before the show and then he just disappears. So we haven't really had the time to sort of fully get to know him. But overall, he seems quite a joyful chap. Metal Injection (September 2015)
predictably, his bandmates did not know him very well. but they always remarked that they liked him and that he seemed like a nice, chill guy. (they also assumed he had a harem that he spent time with when he wasn't performing, which is probably not true, considering how much effort he put into avoiding people whenever possible.)
NAMELESS GHOUL: We don't really socialize with Papa, so… But he seems nice! But he's very occupied in his harem. [...] He's a little bit cooler. He seems to be the nicer of the two brothers --I don't know if there are two-- but he seems to have, I don't know, a kinder mother, probably, or something that makes him slightly.. INTERVIEWER: A little different. NAMELESS GHOUL: Yeah, he's a little bit different. AMBY (October 2015)
i don't think his charming, pleasant demeanor was just an act, though. i think it did come from a genuine part of himself... he wasn't always an antisocial recluse.
before he became Papa, he was a cardinal in Krakow, Poland. Bishop Necropolitus Cracoviensis (the character representing Zbigniew Bielak, the artist who does the album art for Ghost) characterized younger Terzo as having enthusiasm in all his endeavors. he was always a very devoted member of the clergy who had big dreams of progress and modernization for the Ministry and the world. he had a strong interest in Futurist art and philosophy.
Bp. Necropolitus Cracoviensis remembers: "...our relationship goes a long way back to the times before his papacy, that is when he was still a cardinal in my hometown, in Cracovia...(...) Although we had our share of juvenile recklessness - be it indulging his beloved cream pies - allegedly verging on six hundred sixty six portions a year but that must be a rumor I believe, or wild parties at the attic of seminary school (laughs) - even in his formative years, he remained a focused man of vision, looking far into the future, always addressing his people's needs and longings to keep our church together in those turbulent, rapidly changing times (...) there were so many temptations to syndicate among our good people (...) (...) We would sit down to studying exciting Futurist manifestos, sketched the blueprints of utopian metropoles, spiked with shiny skyscrapers stabbing at the heavens belly... Wantonly swollen zeppelins would to carry our gospel of indulgence to the farthest corners of the globe to summon and enslave. (...) Forged in nostalgia of steam and fire, this brave new world of ambition, vice, lust and greed - all so inherent to the enlightened modernity, was always with him through all these years. And it is now - when our church continues to grow stronger and wealthier under wise reign of Papa Emeritus III - that these visions may finally be witnessed and embraced in the preachings of 'Meliora' - his most contemporary and humane Encyclical." (https://www.facebook.com/thebandghost/posts/994031900615606)
those core values of ambition, vice, lust, and greed stayed with him when he became Papa. though he had a revolutionary spirit, he's actually described as "less rebellious" in Metal Myths. Terzo took his job as Papa very seriously, and he cared about being successful and achieving his goals. while he and Secondo certainly had vice, lust, and greed in common, it was Terzo's ambition that truly set him apart.
"It felt like the goal was to take Papa II's sense of modernity and remove the recklessness." Metal Myths: Ghost Pt. 2 (April 2022)
How would you describe the personality of Papa Emeritus III compared to his predecessors? NAMELESS GHOUL: "First of all, Papa Emeritus III is an entertainer! He loves projectors, he loves the public, and he loves success. The first Papa Emeritus was someone very rigid, very strict, and very solemn. A real son of a bitch! (laughs) To be honest, we don’t miss him at all! Papa Emeritus II was a pervert a little bit sadistic, and, in hindsight, I think he wasn’t very at ease on stage. He wasn’t a showman, unlike Papa Emeritus III! Him, he’s the guide we missed to rise up the quality of our shows, to reach the step above and communicate with our fans." (MyRock #44 (2017) translated from French by @ a-wandering-ghoulette)
unfortunately, his ambition eventually led him to become disillusioned and depressed.
Terzo looked forward to becoming Papa. he worked so hard for it his whole life, only to be confronted with the realization that his time as Papa --and therefore his achievements-- would be limited.
he was a nice guy, but he was also was egotistical. he was a showman and an intellectual, and he thought very highly of himself.
NAMELESS GHOUL: He's a little bit more chill. But obviously, all the Papas are definitely pompous assholes. INTERVIEWER: That's part of the job. SPECIAL GHOUL: That's one of the criterias, the prerequisites, that you have to be this sort of flamboyant diva, know-all, show-off. Metal Injection (September 2015)
his self-hatred came from his inability to be the person he wanted to be. it's not that he felt like he couldn't measure up, it's that he felt like he wasn't allowed to express his full potential. Terzo's mindset was "i know i'm good enough. and i could prove it if they would just let me." but he wasn't really in charge, and his vision was at odds with the goals of Sister Imperator.
Terzo felt so stifled, it makes sense that he became a "frustrated old guy who hates everyone, especially himself."
and i think this is the reason for the paradox of him having a kind, charming personality onstage and being unsociable offstage. he still gave it his all. he did the best he could with the time and resources he was allowed. that zealous man of the people was still in there somewhere. but he felt betrayed by the clergy, the organization he dedicated his life to. his career ended up being unfulfilling and he was ultimately really bitter about the way things turned out.
he was good. he never got to be great.
#long post sorry#papa emeritus iii#terzo#radley post#headcanon#i guess#analysis#sure#the band ghost lore#quotes#bishop necropolitus cracoviensis ii
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Imagine The Boys looking after you:
"Y/n's not doing to well."
"Hughie-"
"Butcher," M. M. interrupts, keeping his voice low. "Look at them. They're, they're-" They all turn towards the couch, the TV, where you lie, curled up in a ball. Unblinking. Watching the nature documentary about the birds of South America. You haven't washed any of the blood off you. Your clothes were soaked, your skin sticky with red, hair matted. Everyone came back to the hideout and went their separate ways, washing and changing, taking time to ruminate on what just happened. No one noticed what you were doing, how quiet you'd become. Only when they came back together, making half-hearted jokes, did they notice. Hughie tries to talk to you, but you weren't really there. Your face was blank, your eyes stuck on the screen. He was worried. They all were, even if Butcher wanted to pretend he wasn't, he was. Denying it was easier than dealing with it.
"Falling apart." Frenchie finishes. Kimiko signs to him, worry in her expression. "Kimiko is right. We need y/n. We cant keep doing this to them." Ignoring the problem. Ignoring all the little ways you were putting yourself in danger. Ignoring your sleepless nights, the contrast between constant worry and feeling nothing, the ways in which you threw yourself into dangerous situations without a second thought and then reacting like this, becoming a shell of yourself. You were vital to the team, yes, but you were also their friend. They cared about you, they worried about you. They couldn't let this cycle keep going, it would end up killing you. You'd barely moved since you got back. Butcher knew this life had been hard on you, but, he hoped like with everyone else, you would bounce back to your old self. The longer this went on though, the worse it got. There was no denying it anymore. Something was deeply wrong and they had to figure it out before it was too late.
"Fine. I'll see what I can do."
#the boys#the boys imagine#billy butcher#hughie campbell#mm#marvin milk#frenchie#kimiko miyashiro#ennasfavorites
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You had a very short tiktok series about Gaz watch a true crime documentary about the Riley Christmas murders and one regarding ale talking about how they had a “demon” take out the Zaragoza cartel.
I’ve always wanted to see that expanded on if you could?
Hey Rose!
Gaz was politely listening to something on his phone. His earbuds had died and he couldn't find his normal headphones. He wasn't allowed to use his work ones and while normally he'd do it anyway, his phone didn't have the right adapter for it.
"And the youngest son, Tommy Riley, was found shot dead with the rest of his family. The military covered it all up. There's no evidence that wasn't redacted. What could they be hiding?"
Gaz could've swore he heard Tommy Riley before. But right now, he couldn't quite place it. He could blame it on fatigue.
Ghost walked in and stood near by. He stayed silent as he watched over Gaz's shoulder.
Gaz paused, feeling himself being watched, before relaxing immediately. "Hey, Ghost."
Ghost hummed. "What are you watching?"
"True crime documentary." Gaz answered. "Want to watch with me?”
Ghost thought about it for a minute before sinking into the chair with him. "Sure. Keep playing."
Gaz turned the captions on and raised the volume just a little. Ghost watched with him, staring impassively at the screen.
"What about his oldest brother?" The second host spoke up. "You mentioned they had two sons."
"This is all we have." A family photo of a blond woman, brunette man and their two children. She looked a bit off, almost like she hadn't been expecting to take a photo. Her hand was on a little boy's shoulder. His wide brown eyes were staring at the camera. His hand was on the slightly smaller boy's arm.
"That's it?"
"Yep. Everything about him was apparently burned. No real explanation for it."
"You keep saying him. Who is him?"
"S. Riley. It's all we have. According to the people from his home town, he was unremarkable. just... some guy. For some reason it seems, his school records were burned. His history in the military was burned. And, oh yeah, his medical records, several pages long apparently, and that's just his childhood medical records, were also burned. All different fires. All within the same week." It was clear the implication and it was now hitting Ghost that this was his fucking case.
Yikes.
Gaz laughed. "Military cover up, right Ghost? They blame everything on that."
"This one actually was."
Gaz looked unsure. "You know about this?"
"Yeah. Quite a bit." Ghost got up. "Poor bastard is dead. Died a long time ago. Military just didn't want people to know their hands were in it." He got up. "Don't listen to Ghost stories too much."
As he was leaving, he could see something in Gaz's eyes. A thought.
S. Riley.
Ghost didn't have to deal with his past for a while before he and Alejandro were staking a place out. Valeria were said to be around and that was all the excuse Alejandro needed to be there.
"You ever hear about the Zaragoza cartel?" Alejandro asked, using a hushed tone. It was clear this wasn't reverence. He was baiting Ghost into asking him to tell a cautionary tale or ghost story.
Ghost grinned under his mask. "No. Tell me."
Alejandro launched into the story with a rather good amount of showmanship. There was shockingly little embellishment, but with Roba, there wasn't much need for it. He went over the torture the men, Ghost included, endured. The drugging, the assault, the beating and fighting.
"What happened to them?" Ghost asked on cue and he could see Alejandro smiling.
"A demon. Wiped them all out. Said he wore a..." Alejandro trailed off. He glanced at Ghost. He was a smart man. But when Ghost responded by tilting his head and waving him forward to continue, he seemed to realize that the British man in front of him most likely would not have been in the middle of Mexico at the time. It made no sense. "Skull mask."
"To mock Roba?"
"Rudy thinks so. I don't."
"Why do you think he wore it?"
"I think he was a dead man." Alejandro answered. He sighed softly and his eyes closed. "Forgot how boring stake outs are."
Ghost hummed. "If you want, I could take first watch? Might be good for you to go sleep."
Alejandro nodded. "Might be a good idea." He moved his stuff and managed to lay down.
"Don't let Manuel Roba bite." Ghost grinned.
Alejandro laughed and closed his eyes. Only a moment later, his eyes fluttered open. "Did I say his first name?"
"Nah. I heard of him before. Just wanted to keep you entertained." Ghost patted Alejandro's legs and stood up. He stretched and shook his own legs out before continuing to watch out the window.
Alejandro seemed to let it go.
Soap saw the scarring on Ghost's chest where the autopsies and unnecessary surgeries had gone on. Ghost thought Soap was going to vomit when he saw the extent of it. He didn't think it was because Soap thought it was gross, his scot loved the Glasgow scars on his face and had kissed the scarring on his throat with a vigor Ghost didn't understand. But more, the fact that Ghost had clearly been tortured in such horrific ways.
Soap opened his mouth and closed it a few times before swallowing. "The people wh-"
"Dead. Killed them myself, don't worry."
"They still hurt?"
"Sometimes. I've started taking care of them more and it's not as bad."
Soap traced the mortuary scars first and then the scarring over his ribs. "This feels personal."
"He hated me because I wouldn't break. Fucking Cartel." Ghost answered softly and leaned into him. "Come on. Do you really want to spend our time together doing this?" He leaned down and kissed him.
"They also make the Glasgows?"
"Yeah. The venom scarring was my dad though."
Ghost thought Soap was going to blow up at first. Instead, he just spent the rest of their time kissing all over Ghost as if he could make up for lost time.
Ghost cheekily recommended one of his documentaries to Rodolfo. It was one of the ones that dropped part of his name in it but also insisted that he was the one to murder his family in cold blood. The documentary was one of his least favorite and Ghost had spent more than a few nights after watching it staring at his ceiling, feeling sick. But it was one of the ones that was most misleading. Rudy was smart, but the doc was mixed into several others as well so it wasn't obvious.
Rodolfo didn't call him out on it, but there was something in their eyes when they bumped into each other again. He knew. Just needed a shred of evidence before outright asking Ghost if he murdered his family.
Alejandro invited everyone to his Ranch for a celebration. There was nothing to celebrate, but they all were on leave for the first time since Los Almas.
Rodolfo thanked Ghost and Gaz for the true crime documentaries they had been sending him.
Gaz, who had started to become very suspicious about this whole thing, nodded. "Yeah, thank you for the recommendations too. The Riley Family Christmas murders were an interesting one." They both glanced at Ghost.
So did Price. He was frowning, looking almost panicked. He assumed, reasonably, that this would be a triggering topic for Ghost.
Ghost laughed. "Yeah. That's a good one. Whole family, dead and mutilated. Then they find the oldest son burned somewhere else? Fucking hell." He walked away, getting one of the spiked drinks. He also made sure to pass Price to nod at him. Price got worried and he didn't want him.
Alejandro started the tale about the Zaragoza Cartel to everyone and Soap listened to the methods of torture.
"Wait. Did you say they'd... autopsy them? While alive?"
Alejandro grinned, thinking Soap was just into the nitty gritty details. "Yeah. It was so they could put drugs directly into their organs."
"Huh... Ghost, did they do that to you? The drugging I mean."
Pause.
A pin drop could be heard.
"Yeah. Nasty hallucinogens."
"Huh. Wonder if the two groups had the same idea."
Price was catching on and he quickly glanced at Ghost who gave him The Nod. Politely, he waited until Alejandro was done before asking. "You hear about the people that escaped?"
"Yeah of course. All brainwashed though. They were half insane."
"You hear about the one that did though? Truly escaped? He was an SAS member. Vicious young Sergeant at the time. I was his Lieutenant." Price took a drink. Unlike Alejandro, there was no showmanship. No excitement. Instead, there was a string of sadness.
"S. Riley. I remember finding his patch. Right next to a bunch of bloody dog tags. Roba knew I was following him and he wanted me to know he hurt or killed some of my members. Fucking bastard."
There was a sharp moment. Everyone was putting things together.
"Riley escaped. They found him, mostly dead, wandering the border. We brought our boy home along with some of those brainwashed bastards. Didn't know they'd be targeting civilians."
Gaz gasped so loud Rodolfo jumped. "The military coverup."
"I told you not to listen to Ghost stories." Ghost smiled, taking a drink.
Price hummed. "You know, Simon. I was scared when you went missing a second time. Until I heard that cartel had been wiped off the map and I found you knee deep in bodies."
"Aye. They made one mistake that evening. Just one."
Soap asked the question, right on cue, even if he didn't know it. "Just one?"
'Yeah. Really shouldn't have killed my mom. Might've let a few of them live if they hadn't."
"Mary was a lovely lady." Price clicked their bottles together. "Raised a lovely son."
"You recommended us documentaries over your own family's murders??"
"I have to keep myself entertained somehow."
#call of duty#call of duty modern warfare#simon ghost riley#johnny soap mactavish#call of duty modern warfare ii#cod mw2#ghostsoap#cod#soapghost#ghoap#kyle gaz garrick#captain john price#captain price
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Something something something eldritch Nikto something something something
I've sifted through so many ideas for this because I didn't wanna just pick a random eldritch creature from my box of horrors and slap Nikto's name on it. But also I don't feel like I have enough info about him(ironic, considering I write about him so much) to craft him into a creature. I watched some documentaries on eldritch horrors, dived into Russian cryptids and still drew blanks but here's what I managed
Rating: E for everyone who loves Nikto
Eldritch!Nikto x F!Reader
Word count: 1
Part 2
~Taking requests~
You weren't running from the consequences of your actions, more like briskly walking in the opposite directions. Looking forward all the way because backwards held the sounds of large dogs and angry men. Their boots cracking every twig and foliage along the way, voices interrupting the once peaceful ambiance of the woods. You could hardly tell whether the growling was from the hounds or the men. And really, who wouldn't want to run away from such a thing? Not run; walk. Quickly, very quickly. You were being smart, not cowardly.
No, never that.
You weren't cowardly when you snuck into that guardsman's post. You weren't cowardly when you tried to steal the gold he confiscated from the Miller's wife, the only woman that kept you fed while the streets were your home. You weren't cowardly when you defended yourself once he caught you. And you weren't cowardly when you accidentally bashed his head in with a clay pot. He should've worn a helmet, really. A guard should always have their helmet on! What was he thinking? Now look at you, running for your life and deluding yourself as if it would change the actions of the past.
Running.
You ran your mouth, ran your mind, but no matter how fast you moved, you couldn't outrun hunting dogs. Your fault, really, for trying to do so while wearing the long, ugly skirt you stole from someone's unattended clothesline. You should've maybe stolen the guard's old pants, you knew he had some because he mentioned wanting to give them to his nephew who was in combat training. Instead you dashed out the home the moment you realized he wasn't breathing, panicked by your first time taking a life. What were you thinking?
"I wasn't-" you spat a thick glob of blood out your mouth, it's red color staining the putrid black floor. Tears staining your vision and pain plaguing your mind. "I didn't mean to." You said it over and over again but it was little defense against men who'd lost a comrade because of you. A good man. A good man who stole from widows and bullied the elderly? It's weird how two people can look at the same person but see someone different. But that train of thought was halted by a kick to your stomach. And when one of the men took the final hit, the force of it sending you against the edge of the pit, you finally felt that feeling in your stomach. The one you hid away behind conversations with yourself. Locked away behind a naive expectation that things will either go your way or go away. Your first taste of true regret. Because you got a glimpse of where that attitude has lead you. That attitude that kept you going when your parents had left you. That attitude that kept you alive when your survival was in your own hands at an age where other children were being coddled and sung to. That attitude that protected you in the harsh village slum, now had you staring down into hell. 'The pit'; a giant hole defacing mother earth's perfect form. It's surface covered in black ichor, you couldn't tell whether the walls were moving or you'd been hit so hard your vision was thoroughly fucked. This was considered a punishment worse than death. Jokesters and troublemakers got a stern talking to. Thieves and crooks got jail time. Murders and adulterers got death. But the truly damned got the pit. The punishment didn't match the crime but judging by the hate filled glares of the men surrounding you, they didn't much care.
Or maybe they did care, they cared about you as much as you did yourself, these days.
That was a more comforting thought, maybe? Maybe not. Either way, thinking about it felt a whole lot better than thinking of the weightlessness you felt as you fell. Your vision quickly losing the greens and yellows of a gentle forest to being plunged into darkness. A darkness beyond description. One that surpassed what's seen when you close your eyes for the night. That surpassed the unconsciousness of sleep when dreams escaped you. A darkness that felt like death yet was somehow alive.
The walls were moving, they shifted uncomfortably as they felt the presence of another. Voices that whispered of uncertainty and conflict. Voices that yelled intruder and ones that yelled fodder. But one voice just hummed in curiosity at seeing the source of blood and spit and tears it tasted. He had consumed many of your kind but what little it had of you ignited interest rather than hunger. So it did not eat. Didn't wrap you in its tendrils and rip you apart into easily digestible pieces to be absorbed by its mass. The tendrils held you, confused by their many intentions and wants, before simply bringing you lower into the pit. To the very bottom that no other creature has ever seen. No other creature would ever be allowed near. Far too close to it's more vulnerable organs. But you wouldn't hurt it, would you? Wouldn't hurt them. Not with those blunt nails and teeth, not with those little limbs and severed ties to the natural order. You were weaker than it's weakest points yet you fought against his tendrils like you believed you could win. Struggled and resisted as if you had a fighting chance. 'Hush, little human.' It thought as it strangled you, only enough to render you unconscious. Give it enough time to build a prison home inside itself for you. Then build a form for himself more perceptible to your primitive eyes, he'd tried once before but the human face was so hard to mimic. There was so much anger inside you, more for yourself than for him. And Nikto couldn't understand it. There is only one 'you' inside that tiny, fleshy form. How can one be angry at their own/only self? That would be one of the first things he asked. He felt there was nothing a creature like you could teach him yet he had so much he wanted to ask regardless. Maybe once he had his answers he could finally consume you in peace. Maybe then the voices that called for him to spare you will quiet down. And the ones that screamed for him to bond with you will stop. Your body couldn't handle the things he desires... Could it?
Regardless, he has time. All the time in the world and beyond.
Silly human, getting yourself thrown down here, what were you thinking?
All in all, I didn't want to forget the eldritch and just make a monster.
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So Misha originally told a story about flushing Jared's phone when he left the door unlocked to the airplane toilet and Jared took a picture of him in there when they were on a plane to the IOU podcast: [X]
Apparently at DC this weekend, the story changed to where his safety was endangered by a daredevil pilot while he was in the plane toilet at Jared's request and that was why he flushed the phone: [X]
Sure we could talk about how nonsensical the second version is, but I have a different point. This kind of shit is why I don't believe Misha just "has a bad memory", which is an excuse I've seen for why he's so inconsistent. His stories don't just change, they almost always pointedly escalate - either to make himself sound like more of a victim or to queerbait harder. If it was actually a memory issue, his stories wouldn't so routinely mutate to better match what his fans want to hear over time. Although the queerbaiting doesn't always escalate - it often differs most depending on who is at the convention or onstage with him. Which also does not remotely imply a memory issue so much as a being-a-cowardly-backstabbing-weasel issue.
A recap of some other highlights for emphasis:
I knew I was coming back in season 7 - no I didn't, I was out of work and sooooo stressed not knowing if I was coming back!
I was totally gonna be in the finale Roadhouse scene, but as Jimmy - no, Castiel was totally gonna be there and talk to Dean!
We horsed around on set and it was hilarious - actually Jared borderline sexually assaulted me and it was like a wildlife documentary seeing animals get eaten :( :( :(!
The CW has great representation and had no input on the ending of Supernatural in regards to D/C - if the network wasn't homophobic, they'd have been fucking lol!
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Realized that even though it's a shame that there wasn’t much Drift/Megatron interaction in the story, we still got a fairly detailed one-sided account of Drift’s opinion.
Because this is in no way an accurate assessment of the mentality of the crew members on Necroworld. Drift's either doing some really bullshit armchair psychology or he's projecting his own feelings and assuming that they're shared by everyone else.
Once you break everyone down individually you can see that Drift’s theory applies to very few people:
Rodimus and Minimus have sort of an ambiguous friendship going on with Megatron. Rodimus literally chose to save his life when he could have let Megatron explode with Tarn. Minimus immediately proceeded to give himself congnitive dissonance b/c he thought Megatron betrayed them by running away.
Nautica Velocity Cyclonus Tailgate Ten have no preexisting history against Megatron.
Nautica has more Other Problems than to pay attention to Megatron.
Velocity’s conversation with Megatron after the psychological attack was nothing but caring and friendly. Megatron even felt comfortable enough to admit to her that he was happy. She and Nautica are amongst the few people who sees Megatron as a person first, before his deeds.
Cyclonus might even admire him a little with the romanticized way he talks about the Decepticon ideology.
Tailgate's knowledge about Megatron's past comes entirely from datapackets and documentaries. And his response to that kind of threat level is to pull a gun on him and then try to shadowplay the evilness out. Point is, Tailgate's method to dealing with threats is to be very hands-on, especially after he got his spark spasm superpowers. His way of coping is definitely not brainwashing himself into thinking 'he's not a threat' and being unconsciously nervous all the time.
Whirl hates Megatron with a passion but he also saved Megatron in the time travel. He views Megatron as less of a threat than the functionists.
Nightbeat doesn’t care about anything other than his mysteries; his response to threat of imminent demise at sundown is to go exploring.
Rung’s… Rung. He’s forgiving and compassionate, and also a professional therapist who should be capable of employing healthy rational methods to cope with Megatron being in his life.
Rewind, like Nautica, has a whole slew of Other Problems, I'm sure Megatron's not a very big priority right now.
Skids is dead.
That only leaves like three people unaccounted for and they’re all branded Megatron sympathizers for a reason: they all said no to Getaway when he asked if they were pro ‘mutiny and kick Megatron off the ship.’
Drift's only been back for seven days, even if he got filled in with everything that happened since, he's still in no position to be making that kind of assessment. He doesn't have the context. He wasn't there when Megatron was captain of the ship. He didn't even meet Nautica Velocity and Nightbeat before he left, he has no idea what they're like or what they think of Megatron. Even Rewind's not the same one from before. (Add: he also didn't know Ultra Magnus was actually Minimus in a suit)
Most importantly his entire response in the second two panels is the complete opposite of Ratchet's original question. Ratchet's question was "Is it me or is everyone a little skittish?" Skittish. as in nervous. uneasy. jumpy. Drift's like "Megatron's gone so they can relax." But skittish is the opposite of relaxing? and they only started being skittish after Megatron left? He's the only one to bring up Megatron in this?
Rodimus' reasoning in the first panel (sans Rodpod) makes much more sense.
TL;DR: Drift's nervous around his old boss and can only relax after Megatron's gone, so he assumes that everyone else must feel the same way too. Everyone else: not really?
#idw transformers#transformers#mtmte#megatron#Drift#maccadam#Rodimus#Lost Light#not going to tag everyone mentioned in the post#too many people
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alexia on the upcoming se acabó documentary and what its perspective will be (each player provides their own perspective on what happened) 👀
translation under the cut
source: el larguero on twitter
q: the title is it's over: the diary of the champions that is going to be broadcasted on netflix where you are an important part of the commentary. and i think that for the first time you and many others are talking about what happened then and what happened later that we are going to see in this documentary that has not yet been released.
a: look, i'm going to be very frank with you about this and these are issues that make me uncomfortable. well, you've seen me so far super comfortable and these issues make me a little uncomfortable because of my passion and love for football, but i understand that they are situations that happen at the time that i've been in women's football. before, there were others and in the future there will be others.
this topic of the documentary was recorded a year ago, so it's not recent. it was recorded a year ago and in the end it's like when the whole conflict happened before the world cup, that yes, the conditions and all that was that it was a media bomb here. what happened was like no one explained. We didn't know or it wasn't the right time. there were many versions, there were many points of view. so of course, here the thing was that in the summer you had the world cup and anything like that could cause some instability for the objective. so what happened was it tried to be fixed behind closed doors as best as possible. the world cup was won and after the world cup, independently of what happened there, and then it's obvious what everyone saw was done.
this documentary was recorded and each one of us comes out giving their version of how they lived it. in the end, it is an interview that they ask you about topics such as what you think, what you don't think, why you did this, why you did that, and this is what…well, i know what they have done with me, that is what it has been, right? so, whoever is interested, well, they will have it there. i also felt, and i think all of us felt, that people, perhaps, did not understand very well what had happened.
and in this documentary, well, let's see, each one is explaining what she felt, not one is going to be right, not one is going to be wrong. i mean, each one is a personal matter, each one knows what moment she is in, and the documentary will be there, sorry, for those who need that explanation and those who don't, well that's it.
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GRENADE (MV01)
EPISODE 1. Who is getting Checo's seat?
Grenade Series
Taglist. @spideybv28 @randomcuboidshape @mehrmonga @casperlikej @itsjustkhaos @stampiej
The newest episode of the documentary series starts in a studio with the camera crews focusing their camera to the Red Bull drivers. Aubrey Vaughn and Max Verstappen has conducted the interviews separately but they were showcased side-by-side. Max was in his usual Red Bull gear while Aubrey was dressed to kill. Right here there were words floating down the screen.
'Max Verstappen and Aubrey Vaughn, the two Red Bull drivers embroiled in intense rivalry finally sits down to talk to us' Max held the clapper indicating the Red Bull documentary is currently in-session. His usual blank face plastered on his face. Aubrey was flashed to the screen with a candid shot of her fixing her microphone. Then the camera angle shifted to a front view where she smiled and looked directly at the camera. "Aubrey are you ready to start this interview?" the interviewer was not in sight and Aubrey nodded to the camera "Can you first tell us how did you get your Red Bull seat?" "Honestly I owe everything to Checo"
Sergio "Checo" Perez has already had his fair shares of victories in Formula 1. It wasn't always sunshines and rainbows, for sure there were times where it was a really really bad weekend. There is a lot of experiences, teams, and stories for him to tell. He wasn't getting any younger and the calendar has just got a bit hectic. The kids are also growing up and he doesn't want to miss more milestones. He knew that it was a very perfect time for him to retire.
Of course,the first person he discussed it with is his teammate Max then the rest of the Red Bull crew. Christian made an offer to increase his benefits to convince Checo to stay but alas the driver wanted to retire.
It was a mess to pick which driver could work best with Max. Checo told about his retirement during the Shanghai GP and now its the summer break so the team is scouting for their second driver. Of course, Checo offered that he will join in the quest of finding the other driver for Red Bull which is why he is here in Spain.
"Are you here to look for a retirement plan?" Fernando greeted with a joke
Fernando Alonso, two time world champion and a good friend of Checo. He was also the first person outside Red Bull that Checo told about his retirement.
"Not planning to retire soon?"
"I'm doing okay"Fernando answered "I can still beat the kids"
The two glanced at the track. It was filled with children and teens practicing. Checo smiled as he remembers how he used to be like one of them.
At the corner of his eyes, he catches a bright pink go kart. His eyes followed as she moved gracefully and with precision around the track. By the end of it, Checo's eyes widened as the helmet was lifted up.
"Is that Vaughn?" Checo recognized her.
"Oh you know Aubrey, she's one of my pride and joys"Fernando proudly acknowledges.
Fernando was quite proud of Aubrey Vaughn like a father would be to their daughter. He have mentored Aubrey ever since he saw her frequent the track in 2015. He would always look into her races whenever he could andd offer advices about how to survive.
As for Checo, he knows all about her due to the Red Bull garage talking about Aubrey Vaughn.
He has gotten acquainted with the name when the garage buzzed about the rising star of the F1 academy. Then he soon found out that it was a sore topic for Max because the 8 year old Aubrey has beaten him twice when he was still karting.
Although from what Checo has heard, Aubrey wasn't able to win the championship. Plus she hasn't been seen ever since her crash so he was pretty surprised to see her here.
"How is she? Its been a while since I last saw her" Checo wondered
Frankly, Fernando remembered how broken Aubrey was after the whole F1 Academy shenanigans. It was even more unfortunate when she was not picked to race for F1 Academy for 2024 and even for the 2025 season.
"She's been resting here and teaching in my academy" Fernando admitted "I think she has far more potential than just staying here"
Checo nods his head in agreement. If Aubrey was as good as the stories that he heard then she should have been competing even in Formula 1.
It was like a lightbulb moment for him.
"She's not yet signed with anyone?" Checo clarifies.
"Not yet" Fernando looked at him skeptically "What's on your mind? You look like you have some grand elaborate plan"
"Well Red Bull is looking for my replacement, why not have Aubrey take a shot at my seat"
"I still send gifts every month to Checo because of that." Aubrey concludes "I think by month 3 he told me that I didn't have to but I was really appreciative of the whole thing so I decided to give gifts to his kids instead." The camera cuts back to Max. "What was your reaction to Aubrey being your teammate? Were you happy to know that a familiar face will be joining you? We heard you crossed paths in karting before" "Well I was pretty chill about it" Max replied
"WHO IS REPLACING CHECO?"
It was a good call for Christian to talk to Max first in a one-on-one set-up before announcing it with the whole team. Christian knew Max like the back of his hand and he will not be happy about the decision that he made but Christian knows that she is the best option to replace Checo.
"Aubrey Vaughn is replacing Checo" Christian repeated "I would rather you hear it from me than the media"
"What about Daniel? What about Carlos? Why are we putting a rookie as the second driver?" Max asked, completely in disraught.
"You know Daniel is not doing well, Carlos is signed with Mercedes, and she is the best option" Christian answered.
Max sat down as he rethinks his decision in life. He can never forget how a menace Vaughn was when they were kids. He was actually happy that he hasn't heard of her for the past few years ever but her F1 academy stint brought her back to the picture. As far as Max knows, she hasn't been up to a lot.
But now she will be his teammate? Hell no.
"How can she be allowed to go back?"Max's frustration was evident in his tone.
"She is really good Max, I have a clip of her testing the car" Christian pushed a tablet with the Visa Cash App RB car on track.
For a second, Max was taken a back with how well she performs on track. There were moments that he thinks that Aubrey lost control the car but then she handles it smoothly as if it was on purpose.
It reminded of Max that Aubrey is a driver that pushes everything to the limits.
"This will not work, she will be a pain as a team mate" Max groans
"Now stop being dramatic Max" Christian smiles "I'm sure you will enjoy having someone to challenge you during the races."
It was true that he wanted to be challenged, he expressed it multiple times that the only time he felt the competition was in Singapore 2023. Max should have made his wish clear that he wanted a challenge but not someone like Aubrey to challenge him. Now, he felt like he wants to run into a wall over and over again so he will be disqualified instead of having Aubrey as a team mate for a whole season.
"I'm telling you Christian that we will be a pain in your head" Max warns.
"This is a development that you have been asking for Max." Christian has a very convincing argument "Didn't you say that you're not crossing out the possibility of a female driver in Formula 1? And bringing Aubrey into the picture will help more female drivers to enter the sports"
Max really hates it when his words comes haunting him back. He remembered that interview well when he criticized the F1 academy for not making fast cars and delaying opportunities for female drivers.
"Okay but this one is on you if you have another multi 21 moment" Max says before leaving the room
"Oh Max said he was very chill about the news of me joining the team?" Aubrey stifles a laugh "I'm sorry but that's the craziest lie he said" "Really? What happened" "Well, this is crazy but we never saw each other until the testing season. Its like he is avoiding me like the plague" Aubrey recounts.
Aubrey knew that entering a new team requires her to be friendly with everyone so she spent a lot of time at Milton Keynes. She went to meet every engineers, mechanics, and the whole Red Bull crew to catch up with everyone.
It was quite funny because she almost met every single employee of Red Bull except for Max Verstappen.
"Aubrey Vaughn, its nice to finally meet you"
Now she is face-to-face with Gianpiero Lambiase, Max's engineer.
"So you are Max's race engineer"Aubrey grins, shaking his hands "So should I start bribing you to mess up Max's race strategy so I could win?"
"I'm not sure if you're joking.."
GP has heard of Max's crazy theories that Aubrey was out to get him. At first he thinks that Max is crazy but seeing Aubrey now, he definitely knows why Max is thinking of such things.
"Of course I'm just kidding" Aubrey laughs "Not unless you wanna join forces"
Immediately, GP relaxed in Aubrey's presence. There was something light and silly about Aubrey, that's for sure. GP thinks that maybe Max just misunderstands Aubrey's humor.
"Max seems to be missing in action lately" Aubrey pointed out "I hope he feels better"
"I'm sure he is okay"GP confusedly answer.
"That's good, Christian told me that Max called in sick because he had some food poisoning" Aubrey added
There was a scrunch in the face of the race engineer. As far as he knows, Max is doing some sim testing in floor 12. He immediately fixes his expression so that Max won't be caught in a lie.
Meanwhile, on the 12th floor, Max was on the lookout before going out to the corridor.
"Where is the devil?" Max texted Aubrey's trainer.
He wasn't scared of her. He just didn't want to meet her as much as he could because he knows that once the season starts then he is required to see her every weekend. It was even worse that the races this 2025 season is so close to one another.
"She is with GP at 4th floor"
Max felt really relieved that Aubrey was out of his way. He started walking towards the elevator when the door dinged open and he suddenly had a thought that maybe its her on the other side of the door.
"So basically I didn't know how to break and I crashed"
It was an unfamiliar female voice but it immediately triggered Max's fight or flight senses.
"fuck fuck fuck" Max muttered as he immediately hid behind a pillar.
He was not seen by those coming out of the elevator but he can see those going out of the elevator. He wanted to thank the heavens for his quick thinking and reaction skills because it was Aubrey coming out of the elevator.
It was the first time that Max got a good look at the devil's spawn. He haven't seen her ever since their karting days and the first thing he noticed was gone was the dark locks. It was replaced with a more blonde color like the barbie dolls.
She looked tall but Max thinks he is a couple of inches taller. She still had that grin on her face that she used to give him when she finishes ahead. Max absolutely hated it.
"She is exaggerating, I was not avoiding her" Max complains "I was just busy doing... things.....yes things"
There was laughter from the crew. Obviously they know it was bullshit but no one would dare tell the World Champion that.
"Okay max so how does it feel when you worked with each other on track"
"When you put two competitive drivers on one team, what do you think would happen?" Max asked.
"You already started racing during testing?" the interviewer clarifies.
"We weren't even on track and we started racing already"Max confirms.
Aubrey made it her mission to see Max on the first day of testing. She was waiting at the hotel lobby when she saw a familiar Red Bull cladded man eating at the hotel buffet. She sprinted her way to the table.
"Finally! The elusive Max Verstappen is in the flesh now" Aubrey grins as she sat down at the empty seat.
Max looked like a deer caught in headlights. He knew it was a bad idea to eat here for breakfast as there is 60% possibility to meet her here. But here goes nothing.
"What do you want from me?"Max grumbled.
"Just wanna meet my team mate"Aubrey said "You're just as grumpy as the first day that I met you"
Its been years but Max could still remember why he was so mad to meet Aubrey.
"You took my helmet and I have been disqualified because I did not have a helmet"Max pointed at her accussingly.
"Oh cmon Max that was years ago,would you let that go" Aubrey groans "Plus I said I was sorry and that it was all an accident"
"How is it an accident,it has a lion on it and you knew it was mine"
In Aubrey's defense, she was tired of people making fun of her because she is a girl. So she decided to take a random boy's helmet to wear to make them think that she isn't a girl.
Fortunately,it worked wonders because she was finally taken seriously. Unfortunately, the helmet she stole belongs to Max.
"It was a childhood mistake"
"Childhood mistake my ass" Max grunted.
He stood up to leave as he no longer has any appetite. Plus, he really needs to get away before this goes to a full screaming match.
"Oh cmon Max, were supposed to be team mates"Aubrey complained as she follows him.
The two Red Bull drivers earned looks from hotel guests as they bicker all the way to the parking lot. With Max telling her to go away while Aubrey keeps on pestering him to forgive her.
"Okay fine, lets settle this with a competition then dumbass" Aubrey challenged "What if the first person who arrives at the circuit gets what they want"
Max seems to think for a bit but then his face cracks to a smirk.
"Okay bring it on"
And so the cars started racing through the streets. Aubrey swears she can hear Tokyo Drift playing in her head as she drives her car throughout the highways. Max felt very determined to win so he could ask Aubrey to leave him alone.
The two were not mindful of their speed limits which is why sirens started following them.
"And that's the story why we got delayed to our first testing because we got speeding tickets" Max wrapped up. "So who got to the circuit first?" "There were no winners" Max answered "We were both at the police station" "I firmly believe that Max called the police because he knew that he would lose" Aubrey's interview replaced Max. "It was really interesting to be picked up at the police station by a fuming Christian Horner wondering where his two drivers are"Aubrey added.
#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x oc#max verstappen fic#max verstappen angst
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The missing Arthurian knight - rediscovered in 2019
Well the title is a slight lie - the missing knight wasn't rediscovered in 2019, it was earlier than that, but he didn't became public until 2019.
So what's this "missing knight" about? Well as the title says. There was a knight part of the Arthurian myth, and he had been missing ever since the Middle-Ages, and he was only recently rediscovered.
Or rather, to be exact - there was an Arthurian novel centered around a knight that existed and was a famous and well-known part of the Arthurian literature in the Middle-Ages, but that completely disappeared, and was forgotten by culture (as much popular culture as the scholarly one). Until very recently.
This rediscovered novel has been a hot topic of all Arthuriana fans in Europe for a few years now - and yet I do not see much talk about this onto this website, despite Tumblr being a big place for Arthurian fans?
So I will correct this by doing a series of posts about the subject. And this post will be the first one, the introduction post presenting to you "Ségurant, le chevalier au dragon" ; "Segurant, the knight of the dragon". A French medieval novel part of the Arthurian literature (hence the "chevalier au X" title structure - like Lancelot, the knight of the cart or Yvain the knight of the lion from Chrétien de Troyes), the reason this story was forgotten by all medievalist and literary scholars is - long story short - because it never existed in any full manuscript (at least none that survived to this day). It was a complete story yes, with even variations apparently, but that was cut into pieces and fragments inserted into various other manuscripts and texts (most notably various "Merlin's Prophecies").
The novel and the Knight of the Dragon were rediscovered through the work of Emanuele Arioli, who rediscovered a fragment of the story while looking at an old manuscript of a Merlin Prophecies, and then went on the hunt for the other fragments and pieces scattered around Europe, until he finally could compile the full story, that he then published in 2019, at the Belles Lettres publishing house, in 2019.
Arioli reconstructed the text, and translated it in both modern French and Italian for scholarly and professional editions (aka Honoré Champion in France, a reference for universities)...
... But also for a more "all public, found in all libraries" edition - the famous 2019 edition at Les Belles Lettres.
And not only that, but he also participated to both a comic book adaptation with Emiliano Tanzillo...
... and an adaptation as an illustrated children novel!
Finally, just a few weeks, the Franco-German channel Arte released a documentary about the reconstitution and content of this missing novel called "Le Chevalier au dragon: Le roman disparu de la Table Ronde". (The Knight of the Dragon - The missing novel of the Round Table). The full documentary is on Youtube in French for those that speak the language, here. And in German here for those who speak German.
Unfortunately there is no English version of the documentary that I know of, nor any English publications of the actual text - just French and Italian. But hey, I'll try to palliate to that by doing some English-speaking posts about this whole business!
#ségurant#segurant#the knight of the dragon#le chevalier au dragon#arthuriana#arthurian myth#arthurian literature#arthurian novel#discoveries#medieval literature#arthurian legend#arthurian knights#found media#lost media#that people didn't even know was lost
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siimon riley x fem!reader
like, two people asked for more, so ..... voilà.
one
once you start dating simon, you gradually ease up on the mean nicknames and glaring. your stares aren't as mean as they were when he spilt that beer all over you, or when he took you to what was the possible worst date of your life just to piss you off (don't worry, he made up later).
he doesn't fully escape your wrath, though. he forgot to pick you up from the grocery store in the middle of january, when you had specifically asked him to keep an eye on his phone and wait for your call. he ended up falling asleep while half-watching a documentary and petting your cat.
you had to walk home, which wasn't that bad, considering you thankfully weren't carrying many bags, but you were still super angry with him. although, most of the anger dissipated when you saw him (barely fitting) dosed off on your tiny couch (how would you ever stay mad, he looked adorable), you did hit him in the head violently to wake him up. then purposely gave him the cold shoulder when he tried helping you organise the groceries, accidentally knocking the milk carton's sharp edges on his exposed bicep.
despite the rare occasions when he frustrates you, you're softer with him now. still have the same fire in your eyes and bitchy tone in your voice, but it's hardly ever directed at him.
soap is usually the target of your never-ending wrath. when he teases his lieutenant about how pussy-whipped he is, he gets a snarky comment back which makes kyle cough to hide his chuckles.
"oi, lass, sometimes i think ye donae like me a'all!"
"that's right, i don't!" you'll reply with such a serious tone, johnny has to pause, mouth hanging open.
you'll blankly stare at him for a few seconds and his gaze will flicker from your face to simon's, who's also staring at him unemotionallly, while his fingers play with the end of your dress. he doesn't speak for a few seconds, trying to figure out if you're really serious or not. kyle does his best not to burst out laughing, hiding his smile by drinking, and price just shakes his head and turns his attention to the tv.
the corner of your lip cracks a smile, and soap visibly relaxes. "ye canae do tha' t'me, bonnie. ye hurt me feelings!" he clutches his chest dramatically.
"then you better stop poking fun at my boyfriend, sergeant. or i'll beat you up."
soap raises his hands in surrender, and you feel said boyfriend, burying his nose in your hair and kissing the top of your head.
"my lovely savior."
what simon really liked about you, from your very first meeting, was your ability to yell at anyone (if they wronged you in a way) with no fear. just absolute rage.
there have been times men tried hitting on you, and with simon gone from your side for whatever reason, you have to put a stop to their advances alone.
some are understanding when you say you already have a boyfriend, others leave when you glare at them and call them dickheads for disrespecting a woman's choice, but then there are the annoying dumbfucks who just can't, for the life of them, take the hint.
"did your date ditch you?" you roll your eyes at his smug smirk. "i would never leave such a sexy lady alone, by the way."
you've had enough of the guy, for he hasn't stopped bothering you ever since simon stepped out of line to answer a work-related call. he's behind you, leaning in front to talk in your ear. you haven't even bothered turning around.
the place is crowded and you can't see simon from where you're standing. the lady, three people in front of you, is taking ages to order her movie snacks, and you really are starting to regret dragging him to the movies. you could've pirated it or something.
your leg is nervously tapping on the floor, a tight grip over simon's wallet, and pursed lips hiding gritted teeth. you're sure you look like happiness personified.
"you can sit with me and my friends, if you'd like. i'm sure they wouldn't mind a hot piece of arse such as yourself—" smack.
your slap is uncharacteristically loud and resonates in the room. heads turn, and the guy is frozen in his place, hand touching his burning cheek.
"would you shut the fuck up and take a fucking hint already?!" you try to control your voice, but the words come out as a shout. "for the last time, i have a fucking boyfriend. leave. me. alone."
before he can say anything, a familiar scent enters your nostrils. simon's hand wraps loosely around your shoulder. "what's goin' on 'ere?"
"this fucking pig won't leave me alone!" you take a step closer to the guy threateningly, but simon is quick to pull you back.
"i was just trying to make conversation, you bitch!" smack.
it all happens so fast, simon is barely able to grab you before you claw the guy's eyes out. his friends pull him outside as he throws curses at you, but you just give him the middle finger and allow simon to drag you up to the popcorn section.
"i leave you alone for one minute, lovie..." simon whispers to you.
you shrug. "he brought it upon himself. i was nice by not answering, but he called me a hot piece of arse! and i just had it up to here with him! unbelievable!"
"well, you are hot, and you have a nice arse." simon receives an elbow to the ribs.
"fuck off."
"c'mon, pretty girl, before you terrorise the rest of the cinema."
he finds your scrunched eybrows, flushed cheeks, and fiery gaze extremely hot. your height (compared to him) makes you storming out when angry, almost comical. adorable.
um....this got out of hand....idk.....
#simon riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley fluff#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#ghost cod#ghost cod x reader#ghost x reader#ghost mw2#fluff#established relationship#naewrites
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