#and also not feel like dying when visiting my vegan friends

[baekuras]

I have been buying a few bio-products lately mostly because the cheap ones are too large/have too many...idk like potatoes for me to actually use and not end up throwing some away and

i swear to god

if one more thing tastes worse than the cheaper option i will never buy them again it’s getting really annoying

the ONE expensive thing so far that tastes better than the cheap one is the bratwurst my great grandpa brings from his local farmer once in a while (it’s really good and nice and soft even when you reheat it but with a nice crispy kinda skin, nothing that drags, nothing that hardens out, just the right texture in all the right places and good taste and everything <3)

but other than that so far my experiences have been subpar so i guess my taste goes

more expensive bio/organic foods<cheapest options<expensive local farm options but i’d have to actually be able to drive out someplace to get any so basically impossible to get lol

[studying-roxas]

Tbh i find the discrepancy between ppl with food allergies regarding if they consider their allergy a disability so interesting. I think the main difference in opinions really does have to do with how hard an allergen is to avoid.

I have a few food allergies: fish, shellfish, and dairy, with OAS for almonds. Even though the fish and shellfish allergies are the ones that are actually lethal, I don't consider them to be disabling. Its really easy to avoid fish and shellfish, and I have my epipens with me at all times so outside of the anxiety I have over anaphylaxis they really aren't a concern.

The dairy allergy however? 100% it feels like a disability. Sure the full body rash, vomiting, and joint pain I get isn't as scary as my throat closing and blood pressure dropping, but the amount of work I have to do to accommodate the milk allergy is much more extensive than the fish and shellfish allergies.

First, most people don't even realize that you can have a dairy allergy despite it being a top 10 allergen, so when I mention I have a dairy allergy there's a 70% chance the person assumes I mean lactose intolerance and won't take actual precautions around me (dating is a big fear because of this). Then there's all the strange places that dairy shows up. I don't check every ingredient list because of fish, shellfish, or almonds - those are all usually branded pretty clearly.

But milk? Why have I found milk in *marinara sauce?* Why have I found "contains milk" listed on the bags of frozen fruit? Not even "packaged in a facility that packages milk." Just, "contain milk." Where? You're supposed to be a bag of strawberries!

Cleaning things is also harder for the milk. Obviously the fish stuff gets cooked outside on the grill if my family wants fish that night for dinner, but i can't expect them to pay for an extra set of all cutlery, all measuring spoons, all bowls, etc just for a milk free work station. What does this mean? Rinsing everything before I cook with it in case the milk they used cooking splashed on any of the stuff I'm about to use. Sticking to specific bowls for my cereal that the rest of my family knows I use a lot. Wiping the counters before I prepare anything because, much like with the cooking utensils, the milk could have splashed everywhere. Using my own mini blender instead of the family's main blender because those blades are too difficult to clean for me to be 100% sure all the milk products are gone.

Going to hang out with friends? Prepare in advance because I can't expect everyone around me to cook without any milk or dairy - things like butter are staples of most kitchens outside of the vegan and allergy communities. I'm not packing my own food because of the fish allergies, I'll say that much.

Stopping for coffee/tea? I have to ask if the machines have milk in them because if they do then I can't drink anything that comes from them.

At school and forgot to pack food? (happens daily because adhd with an eating disorder is just Like That). I can't just get whatever from the vending machine or the caf, I have to Google each product or ask the people in the back what products are dairy free. Not even the allergen station can guarantee that. Milk allergies aren't commonly accounted for.

Again that's if they believe it's an allergy at all rather than just lactose intolerance.

If I do get something with milk? Sure it's not an er visit but I'll be sick for days. All my health issues when I was 17? when we thought I might have lupus or crohn's? That was my milk allergy wreaking havoc on my system. Causing rashes, joint pain, frequent vomiting, shitting blood. I thought i was dying and no doctors could figure out why until one finally suggested i go for food allergy testing.

And I think that's where the difference lies. People who don't consider their allergies disabilities probably have allergens that are easier to avoid. I don't consider my fish and shellfish allergies disabilities - I don't eat meat anyway. The only lifestyle change i have is having to remember my epipen when I leave the house incase someone around me eats a fish dish and doesn't clean up after themselves on a shared surface (such as the counters at my work's office). My milk allergy? It affects every facet of my life. It will affect any future partners' lives as they will have to give up milk to keep me safe (though they'd also have to give up fish and shellfish, those tend to be slightly easier to avoid than dairy, though obviously this depends on culture, and I know a lot of cultures are heavily fish based which might inconvenience a future partner). It affects even things as simple as skin care stuff because I can break out in a rash just from using lip balm that contains milk. It's a staple of (USAmerican) life to the point that avoiding it is a constant concern.

So yeah. Allergies as disabilities. Interesting topic with a lot of disagreement amongst the food allergy community.

I feel like ending this with a poll. Also, ik that legally food allergies are considered disabilities but that's because of legal protections and such. I'm asking more broadly if you consider your food allergies to be disabilities or something separate.

For the sake of this poll, if you have MCAS or celiac disease, it is up to you to decide if you consider them to be food allergies or non-allergy food restrictions. I do not have mcas or celiac so I don't want to speak for your communities.

[purplesurveys]

1719

Do you still read the newspaper or have an online newspaper subscription? I have to check the news everyday for work purposes. That's multiple websites of newspapers, their social media accounts, and online magazines.

What's your favourite kind of meat? (vegan/vegetarian options count!) Chicken. I only like pork as pork belly tbh, and steak for me is always a hit or miss.

Have you ever been mistaken for staff at a store you were just visiting? Maybe once or twice; it doesn't happen often. I've been mistaken more frequently as someone's companion. Like people will think they're talking to their friend when it's me.

What's the coolest or most memorable animal you've ever seen at a zoo? The Philippine eagle, but I don't really get *amazed* per se when I see 'cool' animals at zoos. I just feel bad.

Do you share a bedroom with anybody? No. My sister and I tried to share a room once, but it lasted for all of a week because she hated sharing a room with anyone lol. The room also felt super cramped so we quickly decided it wasn't going to work.

What colour are the public buses where you live? We have these white mini-buses that'll pass by here every now and then, and they're white. The bigger buses that traverse Edsa are white and yellow if I'm not mistaken.

How often do you pay your utilities bills? I'm not assigned to any bills in particular, but I transfer to my parents' accounts twice a month. I let them decide how to allot the money.

What video game have you played the most hours of? If you don't know, just make a rough guess. I would guess The Sims 2; that or GTA San Andreas.

Do you own a two-piece bikini? I only own bikinis; I hate how one-pieces feel.

Is there anybody else in the room you're in right now? Nopes.

What have you got within reaching distance of you right now? My phone, my McDonald's orders, pillows, chargers, blanket, work chair, vape.

What have you been craving lately, food-wise? Anything non-food? McDonald's. I overordered last night because I was hungry so I got all my favorites lmao - a triple cheeseburger, large fries, and nuggets.

Is your short-term or long-term memory worse? My short-term memory is horrible; it comes as a disadvantage especially at work and I wouldn't blame my co-workers if they label me as forgetful.

Do you do anything in particular to help you fall asleep? I need to have videos on with the volume at the lowest setting. To avoid draining my battery I have a timer set so that when it runs out my phone will automatically turn the video off.

What was the weather like today? Too early to tell; it's only 7:20 AM. Right now the sun is out but I also wouldn't be surprised if it suddenly rains super aggressively later on in the day as that pattern has been happening lately.

Who will you see within the next week? My dentist, and I am guessing Angela, Hans, and Reena. We've been dying to go to the karaoke these days and I think we'll finally get to next Monday as it will be a public holiday.

Do you have any guilty pleasure music? Anything you're willing to admit in this survey answer? Idk if there's any? I don't feel guilty about anyone whose songs I like.

What was the last movie you watched that was over two hours long? It's been so long since I watched a long movie. It was probably either Titanic or Gone with the Wind.

Speaking of which, what's the longest you think a movie should be? I personally think most movies are too long. It depends on the plot and execution, so I'm not very nitpicky when it comes to this. If a movie needs to be 7 hours long to get its message and art across then so be it.

Do you know anyone who is a medical nurse or doctor? Yes so many people. I'm Asian (aka kids are pressured to be doctors) and Filipino (aka a heavyweight in nursing), so it checks out hah.

Have you ever worked night shifts? If so, did you like it? I have not. I once scored a job interview that would have been a night shift if I got the gig, but at the last minute I decided I didn't want to be in it so I didn't push through with the interview.

Are you good at fixing computer problems? I'd say just basic ones but I'll struggle with even those sometimes, so for the most part no. I leave the troubleshooting to my sister.

Do you tend to make decisions by following your heart or your head? Head.

What's the population of your current city/town? A little below one million.

Do your parents live in their hometown(s)? Nope.

What are you wearing today? My favorite purple pajamas.

Are you one to accessorise a lot? Not at all.

What language other than English do you know the most words of? Filipino.

When was the last time you ate? Did you eat something nice? I'm taking a few bites out of my cheeseburger every now and then this morning. Like I said, I overordered McDonald's last night because I was hungry LOL so most of the shit I got is still here with me today. The only thing I finished last night was the fries and that's because there's no way you can save fries that have gone cold.

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Ablaze ~ S.R.

A/n: Haaaaaaaaaa so y'all liked that Spencer Reid fic I did huh? lol I'm glad

Request: "Could you do a Reid x male reader where the team is in Cali following an arsonist and the readers a firefighter (and Reids bf but the team doesn’t know that) and somehow the reader gets into a confrontation with the arsonist and has to use what Reid has “taught him”/talked about to try and deescalate the situation" by @sheepfather

Word Count: 2400+

Masterlist

They met when Y/n's team was putting out the fire and Reid's team was rushing to the scene to see if their arsonists was still around. The BAU had been dragged to California because it seemed that a killer was on the lose. They couldn't figure out the connections of the victims, but they were all dying in horrible fires. It turned out that someone wasn't setting fires to kill people, just that they were setting fires that happened to kill people. There wasn't a killer on the loose. There was an arsonist.

When I say "they" I don't mean Y/n and Reid by the way. The two boys actually went way back. They'd met in Vegas at a party neither of them wanted to be at. Y/n had been going through a rough time and Reid wasn't good in social situations and they'd ended up in the same corner and just enjoyed the mutual silence. After they'd found peace in each other Y/n had rested his head on Reid's shoulder and Reid was surprised to see that it didn't bother him. They'd run into each other again at the local library of all places. There they'd exchanged names first and then numbers soon after. After that, they'd spent more and more time together. They had to work around work and school schedules (only Y/n went to school anymore, but it was still an issue) but eventually it went from hang outs to date and then suddenly they were boyfriends instead of best friends.

The "they" I meant was actually Y/n and the rest of the BAU. None of Spencer's friends knew about Y/n. It wasn't like he was ashamed or hiding anything, it was just that it never came up. Everyone assumed Spencer was single and would always be, and Spencer didn't care enough to correct them. He wasn't into PDA either so the team didn't figure it out themselves. What they could tell was that they knew each other. It was nice to see Spencer be comfortable around someone outside of work, but Spencer hated talking about his personal life so people tried to ask as little as possible.

Working together was fun though. Y/n knew him very well, down to every micro sign of each emotion. Whenever Spencer got anxious or confused or was really focused and needed to be alone, Y/n always reacted appropriately. It came with knowing him for many years. It was also very helpful when Spencer was profiling and giving information to the other firefighters to keep a look out in case they arrived when the arsonist did. The firefighters, of course, were who made up Y/n's team, as Y/n was a firefighter as well. They had lots of questions though, and even more doubt. Y/n showed very early on that he knew Spencer's capabilities, so when they got too dubious or went to interrupt him, Y/n was quick to cut them off. It made JJ, Emily, and Morgan smile.

One day Morgan prodded. He walked up to Y/n, leaning against the wall next to the boy. "How far back do you and Reid go?"

Y/n was drinking water so he finished his gulp before answering. "Further back then Reid being in the BAU," Y/n responded. "I was still in high school He wasn't, of course, but-" He shrugged, chuckling. "We both lived in Vegas for a while. The relationship carried even when we moved away."

Morgan nodded. "You like him?"

"I'd like to think so." Y/n tried to hide a smile. He could tell them that he was Spencer's boyfriend, but what was the fun in that? "I'd even say I was in love with him."

That seemed to surprise Morgan. "Oh." He looked at Reid and then Y/n, obviously confused. If Y/n was so sure of his feelings, why did it seem like they were just friends? "Does Reid feel the same?"

Y/n considered that. "I don't know. I don't think Spencer and I have ever been on the same emotional playing field. Usually when I feel one thing he's feeling something else... But even then, no one ever seems to feel the same way about each other." Y/n shook his head. "I'm a psychology major, ignore me. What you want to know is if Spencer loves or likes me or whatever. But I can't speak for him." With that, Y/n left and Morgan only had more questions. Were they together or not?

His question was answered on one very bad night that almost cost Reid everything.

Lina Mare was a local sweetheart. She was kind of quiet and shy, but she liked Y/n. They were friends at least - Lina was in college. Y/n seemed to have a knack of befriending awkward, shy, or quiet people. People that couldn't quite get along with anyone else. So when she came into the fire station that day, it wasn't totally weird. She'd never visited Y/n at work before, but that didn't stop Y/n from greeting her when she came in. Nothing else was going on- why not?

She looked upset though. "Hey, you okay Lee?" He asked, touching her shoulder.

The girl leaned into his touch and his eyebrows came together, wondering if maybe she felt dizzy. Her eyes were clear though and her expression was set and clear. Her features were sharp and her gaze was like someone running a knife along his skin. Dangerous and seconds from doing damage. "I'm not," she told him. "I need you to stop, Y/n."

Y/n looked at one of his teammates behind her head. They made eye contact and the other man stood at the ready in case he needed to act. Y/n had a very bad feeling about what was happening. He didn't know why, he just felt like something bad was about to happen. "Stop what?" He asked her softly.

Lina looked right into his eyes, seeming to see something amazing. Her gaze softened, but didn't become any less dangerous. Just a little more uncontrolled. "The fires. You can't stop them. You have to stop putting them out."

It clicked immediately in Y/n's head. He looked at Lina's hands, still in her pockets. "Why don't we go outside and-?"

"No," Lina snapped, tugging out of his reach. "You have to stop putting them out!"

"Okay," Y/n cooed, putting both of his hands up so she could see that he was unarmed. He recalled everything Spencer had ever taught him. Anything he'd been told about in stories, or things Spencer had complained people often did wrong. "Can I at least let my friends go outside?"

She considered that a second before nodding. "But we stay."

"Okay," Y/n assured. He looked at the other fireman he'd warned before. Daniel. "Take everyone outside, will you please? Make sure everyone is there that needs to be." Daniel nodded before running off. Thankfully people trusted Y/n's judgment. Soon the building was empty. "Why don't you take your hands out of your pockets, Lina?" He knew they'd call the police. If he stalled long enough no one would get hurt. He'd gotten as many people safe as he could. Now he had to keep Lina calm until they could solve this.

A sigh came from the younger girl but she agreed. In one hand she had a lighter. Now that it was free of her pocket, she flicked it on and off every few seconds. "You're so oblivious, you know that?" She moved further into the fire station, toward the back of the truck.  Y/n followed, wanting to keep her in sight so she couldn't do anything too stupid. "You don't get anything."

"What did I miss Lina?" Y/n asked, trying to stay casual.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm in love with you." Y/n froze, both because of her word and also because she'd stopped down and hooked her fingers around a canister of gasoline. She vegan to move back into the building and when he didn't follow, she snapped, "Come on." He swallowed before obeying. She was getting agitated and he didn't want to set her off. She began to pour out the can all over the floor.

"Wait Lina-" She turned on her lighter and let it hover over the pouring gas. Y/n stopped dead in his tracks.

"You know Y/n I've tried for months." She let her lighter out, but kept it at the ready. "I tried everything to get you to realize how I felt about you. But you just kept laughing and it was so frustrating. I thought, it wouldn't help to be mad at you all the time. I'd have no time that way. So I did something I haven't done in a long time. I managed to keep myself under control for years. But you made me so angry, I had to let it out some way. So I burned. Little things."

Y/n's jaw hardened. "You killed people."

"I KNOW!" Lina sneered. "It wasn't on purpose! But fire is alive, Y/n. And it has wants and needs. And it grows. Who am I to stop it?" Y/n felt his stomach turn. "Then you made it even worse. You came rushing in every time and put them out. And suddenly I had a new reason to be angry. I'd almost forgotten about you. Until I saw your stupid, pretty face through the window and realized you were one of these stupid people putting my fires out. Of all people, OF COURSE it had to be you, huh?" She scoffed and Y/n's mind raced as he tried to figure out how to stop this. Lina went back and got three more cans, pouring those out too. Y/n could do nothing, as she kept her lighter at the ready. The whole floor was covered in oil now and her lighter was alight. "So I figured, get rid of the problem you know? No more fire fighters. No more you. No more me."

Fuck.

Y/n began moving to her. She tried to move away, but he forced a smile. "What, you're scared of me now? What am I going to do? I'd never hurt you Lina, you know that." She relaxed again. "I was just thinking, you know, I feel the same way." He tried not to cringe at the words. He was like seven years older than her and had a boyfriend but SURE, he liked her too. He knew that he had to get her to calm down. Trust him. He'd heard it a million times from Spencer. You give them what they want until you find your opening.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "You do?"

Nodding, Y/n chuckled softly. "Of course I do. I just thought, I'm too old for you. Of course you'd never like me back. If I had known... Well, like you said, I'm completely oblivious."

She giggled, her eyes watering. "I knew it. Everyone said that you were into that- that- that weird guy from the FBI. But I KNEW we were made for each other." They were close now. The lighter was out and Y/n was inches from getting it out of her hand. Then she did something that totally knocked him off of his feet. They heard sirens and she ignored them, because of course why would the police be after her? She ignored them and she kissed Y/n and he was so stunned that he almost forgot about the lighter.

Finally Y/n's fingers closed around the lighter and he yanked it from her grip. She pushed him away and they parted. She shoved the lighter in his back pocket, moving to her quickly and wrapping her arms around her to force her to be still. She thrashed and kicked until they ended up with Y/n on his back, arms and legs all wrapped around her to keep her firmly in place even as she screamed and moved her head. It meant, unfortunately, that Y/n's face was nearly completely in the oil.

When the door finally opened and police came in, Y/n was relieved to let her go. His head was spinning and his vision was blurring as his eyes burned. She was handcuffed and taken away and he ignored what she was saying as she screamed at him.

It was Morgan who pulled Y/n to his feet and out of the oil. Who questioned him and got him a towel to wipe off as much oil as he could. Who got him outside and to clean air and who kept everyone back as Y/n processed what just happened and got real air into his lungs.Morgan finally got the story piece by piece and then took it to the others. That was when Reid finally got to his boyfriend.

Y/n leaned away from his touch. Then he started crying, his head full of images of him burning to death. Or Lina burning to death, screaming for him as she did so. Or, even worse, both of them burning to death together. Holy shit...

"She kissed me," Y/n choked out, covering his mouth.

"What can I do to help you?" Spencer asked softly, his eyes wide with worry.

Y/n shook his head before looking at him. "How can you forgive me?"

That seemed to confuse Spencer. "Forgive you for what?"

"She kissed me," he reiterated. "I let her."

Spencer tried not to laugh. "Y/n you were in a stressful situation and because of that, you got the lighter away from her. Because of it, you're safe..." He shook his head, moving closer to take Y/n's face in his hands. "Listen to me. I know I don't say it enough, but I love you, Y/n. Kissing her didn't mean anything other than you being safe today and that is all I care about. I don't even know who would ever consider that cheating. Don't be an idiot." He smiled and Y/n did as well. Spencer wiped the tears off his face. "Now can I take my turn and kiss you or do you need more space?"

Y/n laughed before pulling his boyfriend close by the belt loops. Their noses brushed a second before they finally kissed. It lifted the weird imaged out of his head and the weight off his chest. He was okay. Everyone was okay. That's all that mattered.

"So you guys ARE dating then?" The men looked over to see Emily there, JJ next to her.

"Yes," Spencer answered as if it was the most obvious thing ever. Emily looked at Y/n and then at JJ and then JJ and Y/n looked at each other and suddenly they were all laughing. After the stressful showdown from before, it was nice to laugh. It made Y/n feel better, and everyone seemed to sense that. Unfortunately, just because Spencer understood the laughing helped, he couldn't get why they were laughing at all. "I don't get it. What's so funny?"

They just kept laughing.

[i-eat-bread-and-cry-on-the-floor]

You know what they should do as IT chapter 3?

Show us the in-between years. Teen losers to young adult losers

Act 1 is chapter 1 actors, Act 2 is chapter 2 actors

Act 1:

Show us how Bills parents treat him after Georgie dies. Maybe give us a flashback of a family vacation with Georgie. Show us Bill’s growing up with PTSD. Show us one of Bill’s speech therapy sessions. Show us how Bill blames himself for both Georgie’s death and dragging his friends into the Pennywise conflict. Show us Bill calling one of the Losers late at night apologizing because he just can’t stop thinking about “one of my friends could have died and that’s my fault.”

Show us Richie’s household. Wentworth making inappropriate Dad jokes at the dinner table with Maggie rolls her eyes, yet can’t help but laugh. Show us Richie struggling with sexuality. Show us a reddie scene. Doesn’t have to be “will you be my boyfriend” but give us something that says “it’s more than friendship even if they don’t say it.”

Show us Beverly living with her aunt but going back to Derry every few months to visit her friends. Show us Beverly slowly forgetting about her friends, since she was first to move right after chapter 1. Show us Bev’s life in a new town, now having no parents. Show us MIKE AND BEV BONDING OVER NOT HAVING PARENTS AND SHARING SIMILAR STRUGGLES. Show us Bev growing out her hair and seeing how it feels. Cutting her hair, growing it out, testing the waters. Show us Bev dealing with nightmares after what she saw in the deadlights.

Show us Eddie realizing his mother has been abusing him for his entire life. Show us Eddie adapting to life without pills. Not using his inhaler for asthma panic attacks. Show us Eddie loving Richie back. Give us a scene where Eddie longs for Richie cause we don’t see that much. Show us Eddie not being able to live his own life, needing to be controlled by his mom (and soon, Sonia but that’s act 2)

Show us Mike learning about all the Derry history and Ben teaching him. Show us Mike start to fit in with the Losers since he always felt like an outcast. Show us Mike dealing with racism more than Henry Bowers bullying him. Henry bullies everyone. Show us Mike struggling in his day-to-day. Show us Mike becoming vegan/vegetarian. Show us Mike taking care of his grandfather and eventually dealing with his passing. Show us Mike dealing with HIS PARENTS’ DEATH AND HOW HE BLAMES HIMSELF JUST AS MUCH AS BILL DOES FOR GEORGIE.

Show us Ben realizing how nice it is to not be lonely. Show us Ben realizing how lonely he was and show us him clinging to his friends out of fear of being lonely again. Show us Ben studying and being proud of his work and showing his friends. Show us Ben’s struggle with being bullied about his weight. Show us Ben being so madly in love with Beverly and suffering when Bev slowly forgets him after seeing deadlights and moving away. Show us Ben hating his “H” scar. Show Ben’s lovely mother please she’s so kind in the book.

Show us Stan dealing with what he saw in deadlights (Judiths mouth) and how he was suicidal most of his life. Show us Stan being in constant fear. Show us Stan being made fun of as a Jewish kid. Show us Stan being kosher and have his friends be respectful of that and not coax “ok but you’ve NEVER had a cheeseburger/(insert non-kosher food)??” In fact, show us a scene where they get a pizza and say “look stan we got half just cheese cause we know you can’t eat pepperoni” and stan is really flattered but “i’m sorry but if it’s cooked in the same kitchen it doesn’t count” and Mike (a vegan) shrugs, “more for me!” Show us Stan also having nightmares of his friends dying. Maybe him and Bev will bond over that. Maybe he will be all alone when Bev forgets him.

Act 2:

If i’m not mistaken, Bill is the last to leave Derry. Show us Bill and Mike being best friends and not having anyone else. Show us Bill starting to write books. Show us how his friend supports him, and still teases him about the endings. Show us Bill finding Audra once he does move. Show us how him and Audra fell in love and how his career worked. Show us his insecurity about his writing.

Show us Richie having a podcast in college and starting his comedy career. Show us Richie moving away from Eddie and missing him. Show us Richie forgetting. In fact, show us EVERYONE forgetting. Show us everyone forgetting to call each other and letting the memories fade away. Show us Richie contuing to struggle with sexuality, but maybe joining a GSA on the DL and making some friends. Show us Richie’s fashion changing from graphic T-shirts and hawaiian shirts to normal adult stuff. Show us Richie trying to figure out taxes. As soon as Richie leaves Derry, show us his overwhelming urge to learn Spanish because “it doesn’t smell like caca to me señor!”

Show us Eddie getting with Myra cause he can’t bare the thought of living his own life. Or even, getting with Myra as a form of punishing himself. That’s up to artistic choice. Show us Eddie still taking placebos and avoiding foods because of his “allergies.” Show us Eddie being so confused when his mom dies because he feels free but he misses feeling controlled and that’s his mom. Show us how he repressed his sexuality as well. Show us Eddie watching Richie comedy shows because “I don’t write my own material” “I knew it! I fucking knew it!”

Show us Stanley, still suffering nightmares. Show us Stan KNOWING that if he went back 27 years later, his friends would die. Show us Stan knowing he has to kill himself and anticipating the call for 27 years. Show us how Bev forgets about him and now he has to suffer alone with the thought. Show us Stan meeting Patty. Show us when Stan and Patty went to the doctor because they couldn’t have kids. Show us a Stan birdwatching moment PLEASE.

Show us Ben getting ripped. Show us Ben getting a job in arcitecture. Show us Ben being so proud of his work. Show us Ben going to the bar often and squeezing lemon juice down his nose to drink hard vodka easier. (Book scene.) Show us his friendship with the bartender. Show us Ben looking at Bev’s yearbook autograph all the time. Show us Ben remembering Beverly and missing her so much. Show us Ben writing her poetry and then making a campfire and throwing all the poems there because the fire burns just like his heart (“January Embers my heart burns there too”)

Show us Mike talking with the seniors in Derry still. Show us Mike being so goddamn alone when all of his friends leave and he has to look at Richie succeed, Beverly and Tom’s business succeed, Ben’s arcitecture succeed, Bill’s writing succeed, and still being alone. Show us Mike looking at pictures of Florida, wishing he could live there instead of crappy Derry, Maine. Show us Mike constantly in the library, remembering when Ben would teach him the history of the town. Show us Mike being an animal advocate and definitely a feminist.

Show us Beverly getting with Tom Rogan. Show us how he abused her and show us the cigarette scene (from the book.) Show us Beverly and Tom making and selling clothes together. Show us Bev having nightmares. Show us how Bev and Tom were so in love, and then their relationship turns toxic and she has to leave him. Show us Beverly leaving him because when she does, it’s because she’s running toward something, not away. Show us Bev thinking about January Embers but not knowing where it’s from. Show us how her heart skips a beat every time she hears a stutter or reads a poem or listens to NKOTB.

End credit scene: I have a headcanon that Bill loved oragami (hence the paper boat) The end credit scene is everyone silently filing oragami in the club house. Bill, of course having a hard time because his brother is fucking dead, is comforted by six of his best friends all supporting him, filling the room with paper swans. Bill manages to finish a boat with shaky hands, tracing onto it “SS Losers.” Blackout.

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 15.12: “Galaxy Brain”

Oh, my friends, so many things have happened since we last got together. Most of them bad. But let’s try to forget them and immerse ourselves in our favorite show again, shall we?

THEN: Sammy lost hope (Saaaaaaammmmmm!!!!), Chuck needs to visit his other worlds, and oh. Crap. Kaia. Claire’s wooden response to Kaia’s death, Dark Kaia’s stupid dramatic poses… ugh. I’m not here for any of this. And also, Jack has to do exactly what Billie says if he wants to kill God.

NOW: Four weeks ago. Earth 2. Apparently Radio Shack Shed is still in business in this other world. Maybe because Hillary Clinton is the president. Oh, but things are going to go downhill for Radio Shed, because Chuck just walked in.

I take it you’re unsatisfied with your viewing experience at home?

You have no idea.

Hee!

The friendly Radio Shed employee tries to interest Chuck in his giant wall o’televisions, but he’s not here for a TV. What is he here for? “An audience. It’s monologue time.” Each of the TVs begins to show scenes from one of Chuck’s worlds, including the interior of the bunker in our world, as he begins his monologue. As we watch Sam’s visions from the other worlds, Chuck complains that he created his one world, created copies, and should be happy. Because he’s gotten what he wants from hundreds of Sams and Deans, and could get more. But the other worlds don’t spark joy like the original Sam and Dean do. “They challenge me. They disappoint me. They surprise me. They’re the ones.” Chuck doesn’t need more. He suddenly realizes he needs less. It’s time to cancel “all the other worlds, the alternate realities, the subplots, the failed spinoffs.” YES, CHUCK, ESPECIALLY THE FAILED SPINOFFS.

Title card!

Sioux Falls. Our version. Jody is examining a dead cow. Alex calls, wanting to know when she’ll be home to eat vegan lasagna. Which sounds nasty. I’ve got nothing against vegan cuisine, but I think taking a dish that’s supposed to be loaded with cheese, and loading it with not-cheese, is a mistake. Just make spaghetti. Jody says she thinks her dead cow is evidence of humans, not monsters. She sees something suspicious in a barn and heads inside, where she is promptly clobbered.

Bunker. Sam’s wearing that orange plaid shirt that fits him just right, although the collar is higher than I’d like, and we’ve discussed my feelings on orange. Whatever TFW is talking about, he doesn’t like it. “Which part?” Dean asks. “Jack’s deal with Death, or the part where she’s got him eating angel hearts?” Yeah, there’s a lot to dislike there. Sam doesn’t think they should trust Billie, and he’s concerned about Jack’s state of mind, considering that he is still soulless, and was in the Empty for months. And I’m sure this was not intentional on the writers’ part, but I like the way this played out. When they first saw Jack, Sam was the one who immediately reached out, because his boy was back, and it wasn’t until later that he thought oh, things might be fucked up. Dean, on the other hand, immediately had his guard up, and took a moment before he decided it was okay and accepted Jack. This feels true to the characters and I like it. But as I said, I’m sure it’s an accident.

For his part, Jack is wandering the dark rooms of the bunker. He comes across the initials scratched into the table and touches Mary’s, then retreats to his room. Where a strange woman suddenly appears behind him and says she’s answering Jack’s silent prayer to Death, who is busy at the moment.

Meanwhile, Cas says he has some concerns, but Jack trusts Billie and he trusts Jack. And that makes sense. Jack is, what, two years old now? So of course he’s learned who is trustworthy. It’s not like he ever trusted Lucifer or anything like that. Sam reminds them of the required cosmic balance, what with Amara needing to be cancelled out by God. Dean says, having spent time with Billie and visited her library, that he believes in her and her commitment to the rules. He thinks she’s probably got it all figured out.

“Probably?” Sam says. “Like she had the Ma’lak box figured out?” Well, there’s an interesting point. Billie was sure there was only one road that didn’t end in chaotic destruction, and she was wrong. {Or she was lying. Discuss.} But Dean’s still willing to put his faith in her. After all, she was right about Rowena. And it’s the only plan they’ve got, which Sam reluctantly agrees with. Well, he doesn’t agree as much as he just stops arguing.

Skeptical Sam!

Jack is telling his visitor about how he called out to Billie for help with the Grigori, but she didn’t respond. The visitor must be a reaper. She’s a pleasant change from other reapers – a middle-aged woman with gorgeous silver hair and a matronly outfit. She assures Jack that Billie must have known everything would turn out okay, or else she would have stepped in. All Jack has to do is follow Billie’s rules – lie low, wait for instructions, and don’t use your powers under any circumstances, because God might find you. Oooh, what could possibly happen now? Whose life will be in jeopardy, forcing Jack to use his powers?

Approaching Jack’s room, Sam hears him talking to the reaper. Sam knocks on the door and then opens it, which is not cool. {Sidebar: A knock is supposed to say “can I come in,” not “here I come.” You should wait for permission to open the door.} Anyway. When Sam enters, the reaper is gone. Jack claims he was talking to “no one,” and Sam lets that pass. He tells Jack he’s just checking in on him, and stumbles a bit when trying to express how glad they are to have him back. He tells Jack that he could have come to them, even though I’m pretty sure Jack said he couldn’t because he was hiding from God, but that was so long ago that I’ve forgotten. But let’s concentrate on the important part of this conversation. Sam’s face.

He’s awkward and endearing and I adore him.

Dean and Cas are sharing a decanter of whiskey now that Sam’s finally out of their hair. {waves to the Destiel shippers.} Cas explains that he was sure Jack would save the world somehow, and he was “lost” when Jack “died” because he knew Jack’s story couldn’t be done yet. And now, he is absolutely sure that he was right all along. “Here’s to being right,” Dean offers as a toast. He’s also excited about the idea of revenge against Chuck, though Cas says he’s only interested in “Jack fulfilling his destiny.”

Can we just have several minutes of Dean drinking whiskey? Please?

But before Dean can spend a lot of time basking in his anticipated revenge, his phone rings. It’s Jody. Someone’s holding a phone up to her face, so she must be tied up. “Dean, I’m in trouble. Route 11, Fletcher Farm, the old barn. If you don’t come, I’m dead.” Yeah, looks like trouble, all right.

Fletcher Farm. The Impala pulls up next to Jody’s Sheriffmobile. (Aw, typing that makes me miss the Pimpmobile.) It’s just Sam and Dean, though Sam is on the phone with someone when they arrive.

Hello, gorgeous.

The guys find Jody tied up, as predicted, inside the old Fletcher barn. Sam starts to untie her, as Dean conveniently looks the other way and therefore completely misses someone attacking Sam. You will probably not be surprised to hear that this someone is Dark Kaia. She dispatches Sam easily, as people always do when it’s convenient for plot reasons, and gets Dean by the throat. “You have something that belongs to me,” she says. Which, as we know from the Then, is her magic spear. That got broken. Oops. Dean doesn’t care that he promised her he’d get her back to her own world, or that he promised to return the spear, because “that promise expired the minute you hurt our friend.” Although, Dean, you were conveniently ignoring that promise long before Jody got involved, but okay. Luckily, Jody is able to sneak up behind Dark Kaia and hit her with something, allowing Dean and Sam to pull their guns. Yay! {Sidebar: I love Jody, y’all, but that doesn’t mean I want her being the badass instead of Sam.} Sam asks Dark Kaia why she’s so desperate to get back to “that hellhole,” because apparently Sam doesn’t get that your home is your home, even if it’s a hellhole, which makes perfect sense, she said sarcastically.

It turns out the awful orange jacket doesn’t actually match the orange plaid shirt all that well.

Dark Kaia explains that her world is dying, and she knows this because she’s psychically connected to Kaia 1.0. Who is still alive, somehow. Jody feels awful, but Sam and Dean are the ones who didn’t even bother to haul her carcass back through the rift, so. {Sidebar: Coincidentally, I just watched “Defending Your Life.” I wonder if Dean’s feelings of guilt have changed since that episode?}

Bunker. Jack is beating Cas at Connect Four when they hear the creaky door open. {Sidebar: The Husband winces every time he hears the Impala’s squeaky doors. Do the Winchesters not know what WD-40 is?} Sam comes downstairs with Jody, and we have this weird conversation.

Jody!

Hey, Jack, Cas.

Nice to finally meet you in person.

Have Jody and Cas really never met? And if not, why did she casually greet him with “hey, Cas?” Weird. Carrying on. Dean appears with Dark Kaia, who also greets Jack, because I guess she knows him from Kaia 1.0’s dreams or whatever.

Time jump. Cas insists Jack can’t help Dark Kaia, and the guys are like, no shit. But they still want to rescue Kaia 1.0 somehow, so they send Jody into the depths of the bunker to look for something they might not have thought of that can help them jump worlds. Let’s just think about that for a minute. These two, experts in hunting and lore, residents of the bunker for the past 7 years and at least one of them a cataloguer of its contents, who spent a huge part of previous seasons trying to break into a different world and scouring the bunker for anything that would help, think Jody will find something they didn’t?

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

Cas says he’s going to call Sergei to see if he has any more archangel grace. Sergei? Sergei who almost killed Sam recently, and had to be threatened with death to fix what he’d done?

Oh, seriously, for fuck’s sake.

Carrying on. Cas wants archangel grace because, other than Jack, it’s the only thing that’s opened a rift before. And Sam agrees, because both Sam and Cas have forgotten that an angel’s vessel retains some grace which can be extracted after the angel is gone.

Come on, guys. I’m trying, but you’ve got to meet me halfway. And this isn’t even a Buckleming episode.

Shhh. Concentrate on the pretty.

Dark Kaia yells that they’re wasting time, and Jack is right there and could get them to her world right now. “Hey, Not Kaia?” Dean says. “Not helping.” Hee! Jack decides he’ll do research instead, and then they have to decide what they’ll do with Dark Kaia. Jody says “She killed a prize heifer just to get my attention, then she jumped me, beat me up, and threatened to kill me. Do I get a vote?” Oooh, I like Dark Jody.

But the worst thing that happens to Dark Kaia is that they handcuff her to a table and force her to read a fashion magazine. She pretends she’s not interested, hurling it across the table, but sweetie, you’re not fooling anyone. I’m looking at your hair and makeup right now and I can tell you’re into it.

{Sidebar: Is this model supposed to remind her of Claire? Is that why she got upset, because she feels Kaia 1.0’s love for Claire? Discuss.}

Jack throws himself into the research and finds an old Italian spell that requires the liver of a monster which is, unfortunately, extinct because John Winchester killed the last one. Awkward. Dean suggests Jack check on Cas and Jody, and Jack does the oh, because I’m a failure look. The guys are sure they won’t find anything, but to me, the possibility of one spell that requires a monster’s liver implies that other spells might be possible. I mean, how special could that one monster be? Unless it was an archangel monster. Sam suggests he might be able to jerry-rig some magic using a substitute, and oh, guys, once again I’m sure this was accidental, but I love Sam being able and willing to do magic. Love it so hard. Unfortunately, he abandons this idea, since no substitutes are available.

In another part of the bunker, Cas is leaving fruitless messages with Sergei, who presumably remembers the last episode he was in better than Cas does. And Jody’s not having any luck identifying what she finds. They have a little chat about Claire, who is out of cell phone range (which means she won’t show up in this episode, thank you baby Jesus). Jody doesn’t want to involve her anyway, because she loved Kaia so freaking much after knowing her for, what, a day, and if they’re not able to rescue her, Claire would just be crushed.

I don’t know how we’ll be able to tell, since this is Claire’s crushed-by-the-loss-of-her-true-love face. And it’s also her Alex-borrowed-my-sweater-without-asking face. And her Patience-ate-all-the-Cheetos face.

Uh oh! Jack was listening! What will that do to him? He goes to see Dark Kaia and apologizes for not being able to do more. Dark Kaia blames him for Kaia 1.0 crossing over, and reminds him again that she’s going to die soon. Oddly, she doesn’t try this guilt trip on Dean, who pointed a gun at Kaia 1.0 and forced her into the car, as we saw in the Then. Dark Kaia says she crossed over into our world because she envied Kaia 1.0’s peaceful world, but it turns out she hates it, and desperately wants to go back to her own world. She grabs Jack’s hands and begs him to fix it. Jack touches her face, like he did when he was showing the Winchesters where Mary was being held in AU World, and sees Kaia 1.0 in the Bad Place. She’s got a shelter and a campfire and a lizard in a cage, so I guess things could be worse.

He goes to Sam and Dean and tells them he saw Kaia 1.0 and is going to save her. He confesses to dreamwalking, which is against Billie’s rules, but he insists it’s the right thing to do. “You’ve gotta be kidding me” says a voice from the shadows. Jack introduces Merle, his silver-haired reaper. “How did you get in here?” Dean asks, because he’s forgotten how reapers work, I guess.

(Checks again to make sure this isn’t a Buckleming episode.)

Merle says being willing to risk everything for one person isn’t just dumb, “that’s Winchester dumb.” Dean is offended but, well. She ain’t wrong. Merle says if Jack tries to use his power to save Kaia 1.0, she’ll tell Death. Jack says she should go tell Billie, but while she does that, he’ll open a rift, and therefore Merle will be in big trouble. And I kind of had the impression that reapers didn’t have to, you know, physically go find Billie to tell her anything, but maybe I’m the one who forgot how reapers work.

{Spoiler alert: I don’t think I am.}

Anyway, Jack’s threats work. Merle agrees to fix the bunker’s cosmic warding, which the Winchesters did not completely repair after Amara destroyed it. It can’t be restored permanently, but she can put up a temporary fix that will hopefully hide Jack from Chuck. And she’ll need to use Cas to juice it up. Oh, so many possibilities for disaster here. Later, Sam performs a spell and we see glowing sigils appear on the walls, which is a nice effect.

Sam reading the spell is also a nice effect.

Another time jump. The guys are packing for their journey. Dean asks how Sam feels about it, and Sam says “Honestly? It feels like we’re taking a big, probably stupid risk. It feels good. Disobeying cosmic entities, doing the dumb right thing. Feels like we’re back.” Aw yes. My boys, doing the dumb right thing.

Jody thanks Cas for staying, and he asks her to stay too. Because he’s concerned that if she gets killed, Claire will never get over it. Jody agrees that he’s right. And I’m pretty sure this is going to be important somehow; that something awful will happen because Jody isn’t there, or Jody staying behind will mean she’s able to save the guys somehow. {Spoiler alert: I’m wrong.}

Oddly enough, Jody doesn’t seem to actually tell the Winchesters she’s not going. I guess it happened off camera. Merle and Cas power up the sigils, Jack does his thing, and the rift opens. Dark Kaia goes through first, followed by Sam and Dean.

Bad Place! It’s dark and windy and there are lots of those weird little red-eyed dudes around, but they don’t attack. Dark Kaia says they’re afraid of the oncoming storm. {Sidebar: What evolutionary purpose is solved by glowing eyes? It seems like a hindrance.} They yell for Kaia 1.0, and she comes out to meet them, grabbing Dean for a hug. {Sidebar: Yeah, of course it’s Dean.} They turn to leave and wait, you’re just going to leave your lizard? He’s in a cage! He’ll starve! Dark Kaia doesn’t follow, and says she’s going to stay. Sam reminds her she’ll die, but she doesn’t care. She can’t live in our world. Which, well. It sucks sometimes. No judgment here, kiddo. And I guess she can take care of Kaia 1.0’s lizard. The Winchesters head back to the rift with Kaia 1.0 just as the lightning picks up and a huge cloud of destruction approaches. Oh. I guess that lizard didn’t need anyone to take care of him after all. Bye bye, Bad Place!

Bunker. Jody is sitting in front of the rift when the boys burst through with Kaia 1.0. Big hug! Later, we see Kaia (I’m gonna just call her Kaia now, since I think she’s the only one left) wearing Jack’s clothes. It’s cute. Jody invites her to move back with her. “Will Claire be there?” Kaia asks, because, you know, the love story for the ages, blah blah blah. Kaia thanks the guys, and leaves with Jody. Yay! Job well done, right? Except there’s a little too much time left in this episode for a happy wrap-up, so.

Merle tells the guys that if she gave a rat’s ass about Kaia, she’d call this a victory. But she’s pretty sure their scheme worked, since none of them are dead and oh crap, she’s impaled by a scythe. Guess again, Merle!

So, yeah, Billie’s here and she’s not happy. She lectures everyone and points out that one life isn’t important, because all the worlds are dying. All of them except this one. Sam angrily asks Billie what her plan is. She tells them everyone has a death book in her library, even God. God didn’t plot his own death, but “the books wrote themselves,” so Chuck’s death is in there, pre-plotted. But no one gets to read their own book unless Billie lets them. Jack is in Chuck’s book, and so are the Winchesters. “This is your destiny. You are the messengers of God’s destruction.”

Back at the Radio Shed, Chuck is watching his worlds self-destruct on the bank of TVs. He’s been there a while, judging by the number of takeout containers. The sales clerk is curled up on the floor, having served him “for weeks.” He asks Chuck if he’ll be spared, and Chuck says “You’ll be fine. Everything’s just fine.” Then he walks out of the store just as the sky fills with falling meteorites. Hey, I think that was a lie!

So. Several annoying things happened (yes, we know, because you wouldn’t shut up about them) but I can’t call this a bad episode. But I can’t call it a really good one, either. As mytharc episodes go, I guess it could be worse. What did you think? (And what does the title mean?)

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #262

WoW will probably start to take over my life again tomorrow oof so expect surveys to slow down some.

What do you wish people wouldn't call you? The only one I don't really like is Girt calling me "kid." He doesn't mean it in a derogatory way or anything like that; he's just always called me that since I was a high school freshman and he was a senior. Now as an adult that's been through things I don't believe anyone deserves, it's kinda weird but more so frustrating as, regardless of his intentions, I somewhat feel belittled. I've never said anything directly about my discomfort, though, so it's my own fault. I just don't want to make him feel bad for doing it for years lmao. What do people say about your name upon learning it for the first time? They don't say anything; my name is very ordinary. Why did you choose the hair length you have? I have a few reasons. The biggest is because I was just bored of average, long hair, and the fact I was at the time having a very hard time with self-care. My hair would get incredibly knotted to where it was hard to even brush it sometimes. Makes me shiver thinking back on it. For my own sanity and ease, it needed to be gone. Also, with how STUPID hot I get, cutting it all off helped with the weight of my hair (it's v thick) but more importantly how hot it made me it the warm months. Zero regrets chopping it all off, omg. If your hair could be ANY color, what would you pick? At this very moment, I really want silver hair. Do you wish your hair was longer or shorter than it is now? It needs a trim. Do you think you're attractive? (It's okay to say yes =P) No; I think I wouldn't look ALL to bad if I lost some more weight (I've literally been on a weight loss plateau for two fuckin years). When I was perfectly healthy, I didn't think I was very pretty even back then, but now that I look back, I feel I was decently pretty. Not gorgeous, but. What is your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne. :') What is your favorite movie? The Lion King. The second one is like directly behind it. Finding Nemo is also very precious to me. What is your favorite book or magazine? The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton and Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. What is your favorite song? Ugh, this is impossible. I love way way too many. I suppose maybe... "Death Inc." by Motionless In White? Idk. What is your favorite color to wear? Black, duh. If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go and why? South Africa because I want to spend time with and take pictures at the Kalahari Meerkat Project and especially pet a Whiskers meerkat. I WILL cry. Meerkats literally changed my life. So many people I wouldn't know... If you got the chance and wouldn't get caught, would you cheat on a lover? NOOOOO the guilt though. Someone drops a fifty dollar bill and doesn't notice. Will you tell them? Definitely. I'd feel awful otherwise. Would you ever pierce something on your face? I already have my lip and tongue pierced, and I did have my nostril pierced, too. I want more, particularly an undereye microdermal if I can switch to contacts... which I don't like. I think it'd look pretty dumb with glasses. Are you selfish? EVERYONE should be to a degree depending on the occasion. Doing what is best for you is not a bad thing. Are you mean to people who are different from you? Wow no. I find people "different" from me interesting. Do you make fun of obese people? By the BMI definition, I am one of those people. So take a guess? Do you eat when you're upset? I have to fight that extremely hard, because I usually do experience the impulse to comfort eat when I'm very depressed. I've gotten way better at it, though. What if you had to choose between feeding yourself or feeding your pets? I honestly don't know for sure what I'd do... but I think I would prioritize my pets, honestly. It would break me to watch them suffer and lose weight. What if you saw someone being beaten on the street? YOOOO I READ THIS AS "EATEN" FIRST. But anyway I'd call the cops ASAP. There's a possibility I'd intervene if I felt myself capable of taking on the assailant. What if it was you being beaten? According to the night terrors I've had beyond count, curse like a motherfucker and fight back while calling for help. Who's the most important person to you (related)? Mom. Who's the most important person to you (non-related)? Sara. What's more important to you, happiness or success? Happiness. What's more important to you, your happiness or someone else's? Depends on the person. List the ten most important things to you: Oh, yikes. No order: 1.) My peace of mind, health, and happiness; 2.) my family; 3.) my pets; 4.) my career future; 5.) my friends; 6.) a YouTuber I've never met lmao; 7.) my pebble from my partial hospitalization program; 8.) Teddy's ashes; 9.) the Mark mug Sara gave me sobs; 10.) and the RP site I'm on. Like if it disappeared tomorrow with all the profiles and history and stuff I would break the earth in half oof. Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No. Have you ever had your bedroom in a basement? No. How many times in the past week have you eaten fast food? Hm. I don't think once. In the house - shoes, socks, slippers or bare feet? Bare feet.\ Do you consider dogs inside or outside pets? Usually indoor, depending on the breed and the time of year. What’s your favourite piece of furniture in your house? ig my bed? Have you ever had a crush on a friend’s parent? Yikes no. Do you prefer carbonated or uncarbonated drinks? Sucker for carbonated over here. Favorite thing that you can see up in the sky? A full moon. Would you rather eat at the table or in your room? I'm so used to eating in my room. Do you like the sound of birds singing when you wake up, or is it annoying? I love it. If someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it? I'd love to, but it'd really be my mom's choice. What’s your ideal activity for a rainy day? Nap oh lawd. Favorite type of cracker? Cheez-Its. Banana sandwich... yum or yuck? Only yum with peanut butter. Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Spiders. Bagels or English Muffins? Bagels. Do you like to daydream about sex? I do it sometimes. Which of your parents do you laugh more with? My dad is really funny. Have you ever been to an open casket wake or funeral? Wake, yes. Who mows the lawn at your house? A family friend. Have you ever written a story from beginning to end? When I was little and was writing that meerkat story, yes. I started on the sequel but didn't get far. What’s a big turn on for you? Being genuinely interested in what makes me me. Actually wanting to know the littlest things about me. Just show sincere interest. Are you doing anything tomorrow? I do know I'm fuckin finally getting my laptop home. Does your car have a name? N/A Do you own clothes from any celebrity clothing lines? No, but a bitch is getting a Cloak shirt or hoodie at some point. Who was the last person you ranted about? My bitch of a cousin for being a disrespectful fuck when all my dying grandmother wants is to talk as a group with the whole family. I ranted to Mom though, not in the group chat because I'm actually mature enough to not talk shit when, again, all our grandma wants is peace and love between us at the end of her life. I was SEETHING. Know any magic tricks? I don't remember any. I LOOOOOVED those magic kits as a kid, though. Is there music in your head right now? Right now "Dirty Pretty" by In This Moment is on, so does that count as "in my head?" Would you like to become a dancer? It'd be very cool, most certainly, and due to taking dance classes so long, I tend to think of potential dances in my head when I hear like... any song, lol. I'd love to be one if I had the grace and endurance + no hyperhydrosis. Name one person of the same sex as you you wouldn't mind doing: Hunny I'm bisexual, there's a lot, lmao. Dream woman? Uhhhh. Maybe my friend Alon. She was like one of my first hints I wasn't straight, lmao. But idk, I find soooo many women to be attractive. What is the most gory film you've seen? One of the Saw movies. What a surprise, ik. Ever fallen down a hole? ZOINKS no. Do you work better in a clean or messy environment? Clean, durr. Do you know any vegans? Only online. Do you like bananas? I am VERY picky with bananas. They have to be perfect. My preferred ripeness lasts only like, two days. .-. What's a film you've seen that confused you? Oh boy, idk. I don't watch many films... especially if I'm confused and the plot isn't great, I'll stop watching. WAIT!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! I went to see Warcraft when it came out and I was so fuckin lost just because the orcs' voices are so goddamn deep that I just sat there like "uhhhh sir come again????" I didn't play Classic, and I'm not great at remembering every aspect of the plot, so. I'm to this day p confused lmao. Do you ever wear black lipstick? I really only ever wear black. What is next to your bed? I have a white shelf to my left where I put my meds, a drink, the fan... that kind of stuff. My cat's food bowl is to the right of it on the floor. Are your fingernails dirty? Nope. Have you ever fell for someone believing you could "fix" them? Not for that reason, no. Describe a picture of yourself that you hate: LASKJDLKFJAOWJE my friend took a picture of me eating a hot dog once and joked she was putting that shit on Facebook and it was funny as shit but thank Christ she was in fact joking. Would you rather play a good or an evil character in a play? While I'd love to be the evil one, I'd probably make it too cheesy because I am a BAD actress. Has anybody ever lied to you just to impress you? Story of one of my "best" friendships. What's your favourite shade of blue? Baby blue, probs. Can you remember a world before iPods? I do indeed. On rides to school when I sat in the back, I would bring one of those portable CD players with me to play discs. Where did you go on your last date? I can't remember the place's name... Lume's? Something like that? Breakfast place in Illinois. Do people find you "cute"? It happens sometimes. Who does the best remixes? Oh idk, I don't pay much attention to this. Where do you get your news? Facebook, lmao. What social stigma does society need to get over? What DOESN'T it need to get over???? What was the last photo you took? Probably something funny on Facebook to send to Sara lmao. I will get memes to her some way. What mythical creature do you wish actually existed? As badly as I want to say dragons, I don't think it'd be a great idea, heh... Maybe dryads. What are you interested in that most people aren't? As of recently, TARANTULAS. I've fallen in LOVE with them. What's the most ridiculous thing you have bought? No clue. What sounds hit you with major nostalgia every time you hear them? The gem collecting sound from Spyro. It was my text ringtone on my last phone! I need to move it over to my current one. What was the biggest realization you have had about yourself? I was possibly the bigger villain than Jason in the breakup. But idk. What topic could you spend forever talking about? Gay rights. Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under? In the original patent, it was designed as going over. GMM knowledge. Therefore I find over as correct, BUT I ultimately don't care like... at all. I don't even really notice when I go in the bathroom. Are you usually early or late? Usually slightly early. What do you wish you knew more about? Politics so I could be a more helpful member of society alksdjfka;lw What is the most annoying question you've been asked? It's not really like, annoying I guess, but the closest would be just how frequently people see my lip ring and ask if it hurt. It's incredibly sensitive skin, and even if it wasn't, a needle went all the way through it. Like... guess. News flash: being stabbed hurts, lmao. Like I always explain that it's not awful, but duh, there is pain. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Yummm chocolate. What was the worst phase in your life? 2020 thinks it's a bad guy, but lemme tell ya, shit's got nothing on 2016. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? I hate sprinkles on anything. Just an annoying texture with negligible flavor. The last time you went out to eat - what did you order? It was just a milkshake. Do you have all 32 teeth? I'm missing two wisdom teeth that just never grew in. Do you know how to do the moon walk? Never tried. What is one of your favorite comedy movies? White Chicks. Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yeah. I don't think I do. Onion rings or french fries? Fries. Not an onion ring fan. Who is the best cook that you know? Sara's mom is great, omgggg. She's cooked things I generally don't like yet I wound up enjoying. Can you name 3 different dinosaurs? Let's see: Spinosaurus, stegosaurus, velociraptor. I was a dino kid, man, just gettin' started. *finger guns* What's the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can’t juggle. What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? I'd daaaash for the swingset. Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? Ummm I think 6-something pounds? 7? Where do you spend most of your time at? At home. In my bed. Exciting stuff, y'know. What noise does your favorite animal make? If my memory serves me right, they have over 40 vocalizations, but I'd say barking and chirping are the most ordinary/basic. Have you ever fallen in the toilet when you were little? lol I don't think so. What is the best kind of mac & cheese? I'm a basic-ass Velveeta bitch lmao. Who is your favorite oldies band? Boy oh BOY, you're asking a classic rock/metal addict. Of course it's Ozzy tho. But I love soooo many!! What is your favorite farm animal? Pigs! Do you like to play Monopoly? I'm not a big fan, no. What is the most fun restaurant you have ever been to? I like the vibe of Buffalo Wild Wings. Or I just have good memories there. What size bra do you wear? I'm actually not sure. I haven't bought new ones in a while and I don't think the ones I currently have are the right size anyway. Do you have a ceiling fan in your room? No. Who was your favorite Sesame Street character? I don't remember too well, but I think Cookie Monster? What about Muppet? Idr. What was going through your mind during the presidential campaign? I am sadly paying no attention. What do you think of the Duggar family ( 17+ kids )? Could you handle taking care of that many children? Ew, hell no. I don't believe the number of children warranted in a family should be legally monitored, it's much more difficult than that, BUT RATHER I'm very firm about knowing when it's more than enough. Population control is a thing. NOBODY needs that many kids imo, not even close to that. So far, what is the number one, best decision you have ever made? How has it affected your life? Letting go of Jason/accepting life without him. It has made my life much, much brighter and healthier. Have you reunited with any old friends recently? Was it awkward, or just like old times? No. When was the last time you talked to your first ex? February of 2017. Wow... been a long time. How different is your online personality from your offline personality? I am MUCH more outgoing and talkative online. What are your favorite holiday-themed movies? Jim Carrey's How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Hocus Pocus, The Nightmare Before Christmas, etc... Do you listen to Christmas/winter-themed music when the season comes around? No. Is there anything that you do that’s potentially controversial? Yes. What is your most recent obsession? Most recent, whew, tarantulas. I'm really gonna try talking Mom into letting me get one when/if we move. Do you say “merry Christmas” or “happy holidays”? To you, does it really matter which one is said/you say? Do you do your best to remain politically correct? Instinctually, I say "merry Christmas;" that's what has always been said around me. I personally see zero problem in calling it whatever... Like just appreciate someone wishing you well. You get the concept, and that's all you really need imo. As for political correctness, I'm kinda... down the middle? Like I feel it's been taken way, way too far, but I see some caution in wording as wise. If you could relive one week of your life, which would it be, and why? Would you do anything differently, or keep it all the same? Ugh, my first visit at Sara's. I just loved it so, so much. I think I wouldn't change a thing. It felt perfect. Is there a part of your life you wish you could remember, but can’t? Sometimes when I take these surveys and they ask "how old were you when...", ha ha. Frustrates me. What was the last thing/event to trigger a painful memory? It was last night, actually. The Final Fantasy VII remake is out, and I started watching a YouTuber I like play it. Jason got me to play the original, playing it a lot when we spent time together, but I only got a bit beyond half-way through before my PS3 broke. Cherished memories, so it was decently triggering indeed. I loved the game though and ABSOLUTELY want to see it played out in its entirety, so I shoved past the pain and am glad I did. Now I'm anxiously awaiting the next video aljkdsjfawe Y'ALL I wanna play more FF. What do you think of people that choose not to vote? I can't say anything, seeing as I never have voted before... Are you keeping anything from the people you love? Nothing important, no. Have you ever written a suicide note, whether joking or not? Yes, and that stupid novel is one of my biggest regrets. Who the FUCK would joke about that, though. When was the last time you let something ‘go to your head’? Not even like an hour ago. This happens allllll the time. When are you most likely to show off? Maaan Guitar Hero used to be good for that shit, ha ha. I was an expert at that back in its day. I haven't played it in forever, and on the rare occasion I do, I am suuuper rusty. Which would you prefer: spectacular view of the ocean, or of the mountains? MOUNTAINS!!!!!! Do you follow any dating rules/play any dating games? No. When was the last time you felt extremely confident about something? ME????????? CONFIDENT???????????? WHAT A CONCEPT!!!!!!!!!! When was the last time you blew the seeds off of a dandelion? Wow, not a clue. Probably not since we lived at my old house and I would go on walks down the path. What was the last thing that happened that you couldn’t explain? Oh I dunno. What do you do with all of your spare change? I just keep it in my wallet. Where did you hear about your all-time favorite band? He was and still is one of my mom's favorites! How many cans of soda do you drink in a day? AHHHHHH soda is my biggest nutritional weakness. I refuse to let myself drink more than one a day now though. It's funny and disgusting, when I was HEALTHY AND SKINNY I could on a rare occasion start a fourth can in a single day. Nowadays the thought almost makes me shiver. What is the oldest thing that you own? and the newest? The oldest thing, ummm. Not sure. Probably a stuffed animal in the attic. I just got two new books today! Is there anything you wish you had never found out about? Yep. A number of things. What is something that you refuse to believe in? Astrology. What is something you wish more people believed in? Gay rights. What food is your ultimate comfort food? Ice cream. Have you ever put anything inside a time capsule? What? OMGGGG I remember doing this in elementary school as a class! I don't recall what was in it, though. Is there too much violence on tv, or are people to sensitive? Too sensitive, but also negligent. It's got a lot to do with raising, imo. Don't show kids wild shit at too young of an age, and when they are shown this kind of stuff, you make it obvious that the behavior/content is unacceptable irl. Entertainment is not responsible for someone's shitty actions made with their own volition. What is something you used to fear, but no longer do? My first huge fear was thunderstorms. Now I enjoy them lol. Do you think it’s important to know a 2nd language? Not mandatory, no. Especially depends on if you're going anywhere. Do you know anyone that’s just naturally good at almost everything? My old friend Hannia IMMEDIATELY came to mind. She was the best in class GPA-wise, first chair for flute in band, and just in general STUPID talented. Do you know anyone that’s just bad at everything? BITCH ME What is one emoticon you use often? A sarcastic :^) or <3 What is one emoticon you almost never use? A lot, particularly ones with equal signs for eyes.

[thegreenwolf]

Note: this blog post was originally posted on my blog at A Sense of Natural Wonder at http://www.thegreenwolf.com/spirits-in-the-kitchen-honoring-the-remains-of-our-food/.

[Main photo: rice and cheese stuffed crimini mushrooms, roasted acorn squash and red onion, and sauteed vegetables and mushrooms]

The older I get, the more important food has become to me. For the first quarter century of my life, I couldn’t have cared less about domestic duties. In fact, in my misguided desire to break out of traditional female gender roles, I eschewed anything associated with the household for many years. I remember a friend coming over to visit, and being shocked at how scarce kitchenware was in my home. I was basically living like a stereotypical bachelor(ette).

Then I ended up living with someone who insisted on taking over all the domestic duties as a way of “taking care” of me. Unfortunately, their cooking skills were…less than advertised. After entirely too many pans of cheap chicken thighs or pork chops covered in cream of mushroom soup and then dried to the consistency of shoe leather in the oven, I finally decided to learn to cook in self-defense. I started with my mom’s chili recipe, a piece of comfort food from home. And I found that I loved cooking–the flavors, the alchemy, the transformation of a pile of ingredients and a recipe into something artistic as well as edible.

While I am in no way a professional level cook, and in some ways am still barely competent in the kitchen, I’ve acquired a decent collection of cookbooks and flavor manuals, and I have a much better set of utensils. After years of gardening and foraging and preserving plants, and even raising and slaughtering my own meat, I also have gained a much deeper appreciation for the quality of the ingredients I use. I can’t always afford the pasture-raised meat, but I try to have a bottle of genuine olive oil no matter the recipe. (Costco has become one of my greatest resources.)

One thing that has always been central to my cuisine, even from the start, was respect for the animals, plants and fungi I was about to consume. We literally are what we eat. The vast majority of the molecules in my body came from something I ate or drank, and every time I sit down to a meal or a snack I am aware that part of what I am about to enjoy is going to become a long-term part of my body. After all, I’m only borrowing it temporarily before it gets returned to the ecosystem, so I should be appreciative of those recently deceased whose remains are actively being recycled by my digestive system.

Why is this awareness important?

–Connection with nature on a spiritual level: My paganism has always been nature-based, even if the exact interpretation thereof has evolved over time. As a naturalist pagan, I don’t invest myself in supernatural concepts–even the idea of spirits, to me, is something that I don’t actively try to prove literally. Instead, my path is firmly rooted in the idea that I am a part of something deeper and greater than myself, the concentric rings of community, ecosystem, planet and universe. By being mindful of the living beings whose now-dead remains are about to nourish me and keep me alive another day, I am reminding myself that I am part of that greater cycle, and that I am just one tiny part of the great community of nature. Even when the being who is feeding me–a fruit or nut tree, for example–is technically still alive, I still want to honor the sacrifice of their energy-made-matter and their potential offspring.

Some of my chickens enjoying kitchen scraps that they will later turn into eggs

–Consideration of the welfare of other beings: I know there are people who will argue that anyone who isn’t a strict vegan can’t possibly be acting for the welfare of animals, at least, and that plants and fungi don’t count since they don’t have animal nervous systems. I’m not going to get into that debate because that’s at least three more blog posts, so leave it be. As someone who is an obligate omnivore, I’ve found the best solution for both my health and the planet is Michael Pollan’s advice: Eat [real] food, not too much, mostly plants. I am not currently in a place where I am able to grow or raise all of my food, but the farm my art studio is on has a nice garden going, with plans for improvement in subsequent years. I also have access to several farmers’ markets in the summer, though I’ve yet to find a good local CSA. And starting this past year I began raising chickens for both eggs and meat (though they’ve ended up being pets as well.) The more I can control the source of my own food and how it was grown and raised, the better I will feel about my role as a consumer of food.

–Mindful eating: This is a way to slow down your consumption of food and to be more aware of the experience of eating. It serves to not only reconnect you with something that can be quite enjoyable, but slowing down the act of eating can help reduce indigestion and other problems. Moreover, I feel it gives meals more meaning. As someone who eats alone 95% of the time, it can be easy for me to just zone about and shovel food into my mouth while I wander around online or read a book. Mindful eating makes me appreciate what I’m eating more, which has encouraged my already active interest in home cooking. And it helps me to remember again that everything I’m eating was once alive, as I am now alive, and that is something to respect.

I don’t really do special rituals or magic with my food; instead, having mindfulness infuse the very acts of cooking and eating is ritual in and of itself. That being said, you’re certainly welcome to toss a little kitchen witchery into the process if that’s your practice. Here are a few ideas:

–When preparing your work area, consider lighting candles or incense, or cleansing the area with a wash of salt- or herb-infused water. You can also put out crystals nearby that represent your intent. Some pagans like to have an apron or other adornment they only wear when preparing sacred meals (though I consider every meal to be sacred.) Consider it a way of making sacred space for the beings you are about to prepare into food, welcoming them into your home.

–Say a prayer over the ingredients for the meal you are about to prepare, thanking them for being there and asking that you be able to treat them with respect as you turn them into nourishment for you and whoever else you’re feeding

–Bless the herbs and spices you add to your meals. You can even look up magical correspondences for them, and add ones that match the intent of the meal. For example, cashews are often associated with financial success, so a meal of cashew chicken might be a good thing to have just before an interview or important business deal. Ask the spirits of the plants and minerals to help you with your goal.

–Create magical art with your food. This is especially easy with baking, and plenty of magical groups have celebrated rituals with cookies or cakes decorated with pentacles and other symbols. Try baking a layer cake where each layer is dyed with food coloring in shades that reflect intent–green for fertility and growth, pink for youth and joy, yellow for sunshine and health, and so on. Ask the wheat (or oats, or rice) in the flour, as well as the eggs, milk or other ingredients, to carry that intent for you.

Cream of asparagus soup with homemade whole wheat bread and Tillamook butter

–Decorate your table with reminders of the animals, plants and fungi you are consuming. You might have plates that have chickens on them, or add leaves of lettuce and fresh mushrooms as an edible centerpiece. Let the meal be a celebration of these beings and their gifts to you.

–If eating with others, take time to discuss the sources of your food and why you chose them. Even if the answer is “This is what I could afford and what I had access to,” that’s valid. Talk about where you think the plants were grown and the animals raised, and if you want to be able to change your sources–even if you can’t do it now–brainstorm ways in which that can happen at some point.

–Let nothing go to waste. Leftovers are love, as far as I’m concerned, not the least reason of which being they save me a night of having to cook again. Should you have chickens, pigs or other omnivorous animals, give them your kitchen scraps. Other pets can have limited types of scraps; dogs and cats love meat bits, various small critters love vegetables and fruit, and rats and some parrots will eat just about anything you give them. As for the rest, if you’re able to compost outside, tend your compost pile with care. Apartment dwellers may look into vermicomposting–composting with worms–which can be done indoors with few problems. Just don’t leave food scraps where wild mammals can easily get to them; this encourages them to lose their fear of humans and makes them dependent on us for food, which rarely turns out good for anyone involved. If you garden, let your compost be a gift to your plants (and fungi, if you grow dirt-loving mushrooms.)

Even if you don’t take the idea of spirits literally, these practices can still help you maintain awareness of where your food comes from and how you are connected to everything in a greater webwork of relationships. At a time when more people than ever are divorced from the sources of their nourishment, and take for granted the soil and the beings that it supports, it is crucial for us to regain that appreciation for our food. We are already destroying the land, the water and the air, and we need these if we are to continue having food available to us. If we start with changing our awareness, then that awareness translates into actions for the better. Let it start in your kitchen, and move out from there into the world.

Did you enjoy this post? Consider a copy of my book Nature Spirituality From the Ground Up, which includes even more practices to connect with your bioregion and the beings within it! More info on my books can be found at http://www.thegreenwolf.com/books

[daisydezem]

Get to know me Tag

Wow this took longer then I thought it would! But thank you so much for tagging me @cruelhumanbean & @cloud-9-sims!  I’m gonna tag @deathbyhysteria, @rethasim, @shellisims and @king-mikeyy! I loved updating my simself. It has been a while but I still think she is way to pretty. I just can’t make real people. Then there are 125 questions answered in the cut down below! So it’s a long list!

1. what is your name? Daisy (Officially Dasy. My dad forgot the i -_-’)

2. what is your nickname? Dezem, Dees, Dee, Esseborre... anymore...

3. birthday? April 24 1990

4. what is your favorite book series? Harry potter... Or does Manga count? Then Skip Beat!

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Aliens Yes! Ghost not really. 

6. who is your favorite author? UHM... I don’t like reading books. I’m dyslectic so the only reading I do is Manga and webcomics. For that I really like Yoshiki Nakamura. (from skip beat)

7. what is your favorite radio station? Veronica!

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything? Anything spicy!

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? In English - Awesome and in Dutch - Super... I know it’s also a english word but it’s used a bit different 

10. what is your current favorite song The sound of Silence - Disturbed

11. what is your favorite word? Inevitable. It has a nice tongue feel... Idk... Oh and In Dutch - Schatig. It means cute but it sounds really harsh for people that don’t speak Dutch.

12. what was the last song you listened to? Freak on a leash - Korn

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Battle star Galactica!!  Walking Dead Lucifer                          Supernatural Game of thrones          New Girl Dexter                          Friends More?

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny it always cheers me up!

15. do you play video games? Uhmm... YES! 

16. what is your biggest fear? Being alone

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion? I know what I want and do whatever I can to get it. 

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion? Being afraid of change. Being a control freak. Being a perfectionist

9. do you like cats or dogs better? CATS! I’m kinda afraid of dogs... pictures are cute tho:P

20. what is your favorite season? Spring I guess. Not to warm and hopefully dry. Everything get green:)

21. are you in a relationship? Yes uhm... 7 years now. And a kid of 4 (almost).

22. what is something you miss from your childhood? Believing in the good and magical things.

23. who is your best friend? Nouk! (Not her real name her nickname tho)

24. what is your eye color? Brown

25. what is your hair color? Naturally Brown... But I change it a lot!

26. who is someone you love? Hubby, Son, Mom, Dad, Stepdad, Stepmom, Siblings, Grandpa’s, Grandma’s, Nouk, And a lot more!

27. who is someone you trust? Hubby, Mom, Stepdad, Nouk.

28. who is someone you think about often? Rn? Uhm My little brother and grandpa. They are not doing so well.

29. are you currently excited about/for something? Yes! My son is about to turn 4 so after the winter/Christmas vacation he will be going to elementary school!

30. what is your biggest obsession? Tbh... Sims... haha I just think about what when how all the time:P

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child? Telekids!! It was a dutch kids gameshow between two school and in between cartoons! On Saturday morning!

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? Well my hubby!

33. are you superstitious? Not really. I do know a lot so I pretend to be sometimes when it is convenient.  

34. do you have any unusual phobias? No!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Oh actually I like both! I like seeing pictures of the past because it brings back memories. But I do like taking pictures as well. And to be fair. I’m not good at both hahaha

36. what is your favorite hobby? Gaming!

37. what was the last book you read? The Hobbit

38. what was the last movie you watched? The new Incredibles! Is was... SUPER! 

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any? I play guitar, bass and drums. Bass best tho! I got a piano now so I’m trying to learn that if and when I have some time.

40. what is your favorite animal? Cats! 

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow? Oh god... I always feel horrible doing this. Because it changes all the time and well I like many more as 5. But okay let just do it! @cosmic-espie @pink-chevalier @brisberries @wildlyminiaturesandwich @plumpug. Okay yeah... There are many more! 

42. what superpower do you wish you had? Reading someones mind. Easier to know if someone lied.

43. when and where do you feel most at peace? At home.

44. what makes you smile? Weird stuff my son says or does.

45. what sports do you play, if any? I used to dance! Ballet, Jazz, Modern and Hip-hop... But can’t anymore.. Classical ballet is hell for your knees!

46. what is your favorite drink? A coke! (My addiction) 

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? I can’t remember!

48. are you afraid of heights? Used to be. Then I went bungee jumping with a height of 169 meters (555 ft) and now I’m not afraid anymore!! (this is the bungee jump video is not me picture is tho!)

49. what is your biggest pet peeve? When I’m at work and people start with a question instead of saying hello first or don’t look at me at all when checking their tickets!

50. have you ever been to a concert? Yeah! Greenday, Paramore, Billy talent, My chemical romance, Iron Maiden, Doe Maar and Infinite(in paris!) 

51. are you vegan/vegetarian? That’s a def no... 

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A teacher!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in? The Dragon ball Universe! 

54. what is something you worry about? The health of my grandpa and little brother. 

55. are you scared of the dark? No, I prefer the dark... 

56. do you like to sing? Yes! I was never allowed to sing in the band tho.. I was allowed to scream tho!

57. have you ever skipped school? Yeah.... Sssssst don’t tell my mom. She still doesn’t know. ;)

58. what is your favorite place on the planet? Home <3

59. where would you like to live? Where I live now. 

60. do you have any pets? Yes!

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Night Owl!

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets! If I ever see a sunrises someone will be dying... (the one that woke me up that early!)

63. do you know how to drive? Yeaaaasssss! I LOVE DRIVING! and yes also with a gearbox!!

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones? In-ear earbuds!

65. have you ever had braces? No!

66. what is your favorite genre of music? Rock!

67. who is your hero? My mom!

68. do you read comic books? Web comics (rn the gamer and dice) and manga!

69. what makes you the most angry? People who did something wrong and then blame you.

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Electronic. Real books are to heavy to take a lot of with you.

71. what was your favorite subject in school? Math and science!

72. do you have any siblings? Yes! Sister at my Moms and a Brother and Sister at my Dads!

73. what was the last thing you bought? Food:p But uhm as of last fun thing was the cam for the facecam on streams!

74. how tall are you? 171 cm (5′7 is that right?)

75. can you cook? Somewhat... I like cooking but I usually work during dinner time so don’t do it to often.

76. what are three things that you love? My family (incl my own and my parents, siblings and grandparents) Playing games (incl sims, final fantasy, dragon quest and stardew) My roomba! (I hate vacuuming) 

77. what are three things that you hate? Liars  Cleaning Waking up early

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends? I think male...

79. what is your sexual orientation? I’m straight.

80. where do you currently live? The Netherlands (HOLLAND HOLLAND HOLLAND) ;)

81. who was the last person you texted? My hubby!

82. when was the last time you cried? Today.... hahaha I hurt my back still went to work. Got worse and at the end of my shift I could barely walk. I felt like a wuss and that made me cry. 

83. who is your favorite youtuber? MATPAT (game theorists) Jen (xurbansimsx) Mage Masher and Jacksepticeye

84. do you like to take selfies? Sometimes...

85. what is your favorite app? Webtoons

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like? Very good

87. what is your favorite foreign accent? German

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Seoul and Kyoto 

89. what is your favorite number? 4

90. can you juggle? No

91. are you religious? No (Maybe the flying spaghetti monster tho)

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? OUTER SPACE! I love space! I’m a bit scared of the ocean tho

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? No BUT if needed I will be. 

94. are you allergic to anything? No

95. can you curl your tongue? Yes :P

96. can you wiggle your ears? Yes that too! (Just checked btw)

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something? Not that often... If proven wrong I would tho.

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach? Forest

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? It will always be darkest just before it will get lighter again. (no matter how awful things seem it will get better)

100. are you a good liar? A very good liar... 

101. what is your hogwarts house? Gryffindor

102. do you talk to yourself? All the time!

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert? Both... I guess.. But more Extrovert.

104. do you keep a journal/diary? Nooooo I can’t! And if I do it’s for 2 weeks and then I forget!

105. do you believe in second chances? Yes but not in third.

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Give it to the police.. I can’t keep it because I would feel bad...

107. do you believe that people are capable of change? Change... Not really. However I do believe in the adaptability of people. 

108. are you ticklish? Yes... unfortunately... 

109. have you ever been on a plane? Yes to Spain, Hungary, Italy and Malta

110. do you have any piercings? Yes I had more. Did you know if you get pregnant your body can just resist them? I lost 5 piercings because of that but gained a lovely little boy so everything is good. <3

111. what fictional character do you wish was real? Oeee this is hard... there are so many. But uh let me just say Gohan. I just love him. Strong, kind and smart. (Also my first crush when I was young hahaha)

112. do you have any tattoos? Yes 3! And I want so many MORE!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? Changing jobs! 

114. do you believe in karma? No... I don’t believe in anything I can’t see or can’t be proven my science. 

115. do you wear glasses or contacts? Glasses

116. do you want children? I got a kid already hahaha but Yes I would like a second child at some point.

117. who is the smartest person you know? I think it would be my sister @galaxymiep! She can do stuff I could never do. <3

118. what is your most embarrassing memory? Oh Idk... I’m not embarrassed easily. But I think I would be when my workpants had a hole in it and I didn’t notice until someone told me... 

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter? So many times.

120. what colour are most of you clothes? Black

121. do you like adventures? Not really. I had my adventures days. I’m boring now hahaha

122. have you ever been on tv? UHmm... Yes... Local tv station about concrete blocks. Why?

123. how old are you? Old... hahaha I’m 28

124. what is your favorite movie quote? From the movie Moulin Rouge: “The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

125. sweet or savory? Depends on my mood. But mostly Savory!

[keeyo7]

do multiples of 5!

I might have answered some of these too truthfully and I’m sorry about that haha

5. Tell us some funny drunk story

I don’t have many drink stories haha it’s not that I can’t remember stuff but times I got drunk my friends and I would just do lame stuff like play a board game or watch tv. Well I did the usual stuff like push up competitions, I acted out “I dreamed a dream” tears and everything but I would do that sober, my friends and I once went through our high school yearbooks and told each other about girls we had crushes on and we only had one where we all had her on out list. Dance routines while drunk is fun too I’ve done that. Haha sorry

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?

I think it was one of my students with the effort they were putting into their work

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I would probably pick pizza because of how customizable it can be, maybe sandwiches for the same reason.

20. What was the last thing you cried for?

I think it was when I was frustrated with the lack of effort someone important to me put into something that was important to me

25. Are grades in school important?

Kind of but I think the understanding of a concept is more important

30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

Sometimes, I don’t like crying in front of other people but I wouldn’t want someone crying in front of me to feel embarrassed

35. How are you feeling right now?

I’m doing alright, I’m a little tired haha

40. What was the last gift you gave?

I give the gift of laughter to everyone around me every day haha jk I gave my mom a Mother’s Day gift Sunday

45. How old were you when you first got high?

I think it was either when I was 22 at an air bnb or 22 at a comic con. I’ve only been high like twice maybe three times

50. Post a selfie

Heres one from a little earlier in the week, I can’t tell if this is loading or not!

55. What is your favorite flower?

I don’t think I had one until recently but I’ve been really digging sunflowers

60. Are you in love?

Yes but as they say love is work and i feel like I’ve been working overtime for a while

65. What are you saving money for?

Mostly for the summer cause once the school year is over I need to find work until September

70. Do you like your body?

Not really, I need to get healthier

75. Is there a blog you visit everyday or almost everyday? Tag it!

I’m mostly only on mobile and I utilize my dash the most of anything and I don’t visit many people specifically unless I’m sending them something. Also I don’t want to leave anyone out but I will say @thotfulalena

80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

I think it’s neat if that’s what you want to do, I don’t know if I could commit to something like that though.

85. Alcohol or drugs?

Alcohol I guess because I’m more familiar than I am with other drugs. I don’t do either often and even with drugs I’ve only tried weed

90. Most traumatic experience?

Not to be too much but I think it was the week span of finding out my grandpa was going to die, my house being taken over by family members with my family having to deal with making space and getting things ready for people to visit my grandpa, and my grandpa dying 5 days after being told he was going to die

95. Share your favorite quote

Idk one doesn’t really come to mind, I use various quotes and references in everyday life and I can’t really differentiate them from just regular speech at this point haha

100. Can you keep a secret?

If I’m asked to for sure

[pixeltownies]

simself tag I was tagged by @fussysim I tag any of my followers that want to do this

take a shot every time I say “my boyfriend”

traits: goofball, foodie, clumsy aspiration: friend of the world 1. What is your full name? tristan egbert 2.What is your nickname? tris/tj 3. Birthday?‪ december 14‬ 4. What is your favorite book series?  I don’t,. really read that often 5. Do you believe in Aliens or Ghosts? Y E S 6. Who is your favorite author? once again I really don’t read 7. What is your favorite radio station? pop + alt 8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? mango, fruit punch, etc etc, I like fruity things 9. What word would you use to describe something great or wonderful? “holy shit!” 10. What is your current favorite song? I have too many favs at all times for this 11. What is your favorite word? curse words lots of curse words 12. What is the last song you listened to? self esteem - the offspring 13. What TV show would you recommend for everyone to watch? ‪jane the virgin, how I met your mother, izombie, Gotham, hmu for more recs ‬ 14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? marvel movies + childhood movies 15. Do you play video games? mostly sims, I have others but I don’t have the accessibility to play them hh 16. What is your biggest fear? being alone 17. What is your best quality in your opinion? I’m good at listening and I’m a big people pleaser 18. What is your worst quality in your opinion? how lazy I am and how quickly I get peeved/angry 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? cats! 20. What is your favorite season? autumn 21. Are you in a relationship? yes :D 22. What is something you miss from your childhood? not much if I’m being honest 23. Who is your best friend? my boyfriend 24. What is your eye color? yellow, red, forest green and royal blue 25. What is your hair color? split pink & black but naturally dirty blonde 26. Who is someone you love? my mom + dad & my boyfriend & my siblings 27. Who is someone you trust? my boyfriend 28. Who is someone you think about Often? m y b o y f r I e n d 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? starting testosterone :) + meeting my boyfriend next year 30. What is your biggest obsession? uHh. cc, sims, Netflix, marvel, my boyfriend 31. what was your favorite tv show as a child? hannah montana, icarly, victorious, sam and cat, there are so many more but I’m absolutely blanking rn 32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to? I don’t really have many friends that are girls .. oops? 33. Are you superstitious? 50/50 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? none that I can really think of 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? kind of both 36. What is your favorite hobby? PHOTOGRAPHYYYYY 37. What is the last book you read? i. don’t. read. 38. What is the last movie you watched? fantastic beasts with my boyfriend and his best friends 39. What musical Instruments do you play, if any? I am trying to learn guitar but I have ADHD/ADD and I have a hard time self-teaching 40. What is your favorite animal? panda, red pandas, fox, raccoon, turtle, cats. 41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? I just started out. pls. 42. What superpower do you wish you had? I just wish I wasn’t this dumb ((I’m keeping ur answer, I’m wheezing)) 43. When and where do you feel most at peace? when I’m on the phone with my boyfriend 44. What makes you smile? my boyfriend, sims, music, photography 45. What sports do you play, if any? none 46. What is your favorite drink? monster mango loco + pacific punch 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? recently I keep a journal of notes to my boyfriend 48: Are you afraid of heights? y e s 49: What is your biggest pet peeve? misophonia, look it up 50. Have you ever been to a concert? yeah 51. Are you vegan/ vegetarian? no, I honestly don’t have the motivation or willpower to do it but when I move in with my boyfriend that’s gonna stop HDHBD 52. When you were little, what did you wanna be when you grew up? cosmetologist/ photographer 53: What fictional world would you like to live in? I can’t think of the name but the place in guardians of the galaxy 54. What is something you worry about? being alone, dying, people not liking me, embarrassing myself. 55. Are you scared of the dark? no, and yes 56. Do you like to sing? yes but I’m not good at it 57. Have you ever skipped school? I dropped out bc of it so yes 58. What is your favorite place on the planet? anywhere my boyfriend is 59. Where would you like to live? U.K. 60. Do you have any pets? 5 cats 61: Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? night owl 62: Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunset 63. Do you know how to drive? yes but I don’t have driving license oops 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? earbuds 65. Have you ever had braces? no, but I need them 66: What is your favorite genre of music? pop punk + indie + pop + basically anything but country, folk, classic dhsjsj shit like that ion like 67: Who is your hero? I don’t think I necessarily have one? 68: Do you read comic books? yes 69: What makes you most angry? misophonia, being blamed for things I didn’t do, not being listened to, being undermined, etc things of the sort 70. Do you prefer reading a book on an electronic device or on a real book? both tbh 71. What is your favorite subject in school? art 72. Do you have any siblings? 10 73. What was the last thing you bought? I can’t remember   74. How tall are you? 5 foot 4 75. Can you cook? not exactly 76. What are three things that you love? boyfriend, music, my cats 77. What are three things you hate? anxiety, fear, abandonment 78. Do you have more male or female friends? male 79. What is your sexual orientation? homosexual but panromantic 80. Where do you currently live? united states /: 81. Who was the last person you texted? my boyfriend 82. When was the last time you cried? idk!!! 83. Who is your favorite youtuber? jacksepticeye 84. Do you like to take selfies? yes I am very insecure but also very vain ((god we are the same person)) 85. What is your favorite app? twitter 86. What is your relationship to your parent(s)?  kind of don’t like necessarily like them but I don’t hate them 87. What is your favorite foreign accent? British accents but this is biased bc of my boyfriend 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? japan 89. What is your favorite number? 14 90. Can you juggle? nope 91. Are you religious? I don’t.. know… 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? outer space, ocean scares tf out of me ((keeping this too)) 93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? impulsive but not daredevil 94. Are you allergic to anything? freshly cut grass tbh 95. Can you curl your tongue? no 96. Can you wiggle your ears? no 97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? normally when it happens if I catch on, if I didn’t realize I was wrong I admit when it’s pointed out 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forest 99. What is your favorite piece of advice anyone has given you? uh I haven’t really gotten any 100. Are you a good liar? unfortunately yes 101. What is your Hogwarts house? hufflepuff 102. Do you talk to yourself? when I’m pissed 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? yes but they’re more like love notes to my boyfriend 105. Do you believe in second chances? yes and I give more than that bc I’m weak and too nice for existence 106: If you found a wallet full of money, what would you do? …. id be lying if I said I’d turn it in right away, I would have to contemplate that 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? yes but only with help 108. Are you ticklish? yes 109. Have you ever been on a plane? nope, will be next year 110. Do you have any piercings? eyebrow, labret, septum, tongue, my ears are stretched, and I have more piercings planned 111. What fictional character do you wish were real? … uhhHhh I’m blanking 112. Do you have any tattoos? I have an XØ and a fiatp symbol on my left wrist 113. What is the best decision you’ve made in your life? following my boyfriend back when he followed me, to begin with 114. Do you believe in karma? yes for sure 115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? glasses 116. Do you want children? 2-3, I’m adopting though 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my boyfriend 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? I have many 119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? all the time 120. What color are most of your clothes? black or my fav colors 121. Do you like adventure? YES 122. Have you ever been on TV? nope 123. How old are you? 19!! 124. What is your favorite quote? If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies. 125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory (and spicy!!!!!!)

[thelyonsempire]

Once a Single Mom with a Dream, Taraji P. Henson is Now a Hollywood Headliner

Want to know what it feels like for a woman to be a commanding presence in a man’s world? Just ask Taraji P. Henson, who might be the greatest motivational speaker we ladies have at the moment. 

“I feel like a boss bitch,” she says, flashing her megawatt grin. “I’m grabbing my nuts, like, ‘Yeah!’ ”

Could we consider this an apt metaphor for the current push-pull of power dynamics? Perhaps. As Henson knows, there’s no time to mince words anymore. From the #MeToo movement to the midterm elections, we’ve seen what happens when women stake their claim. Henson, a single mother from Washington, D.C., who has worked in the industry for over 20 years, is among those finally getting their due — and she’s not afraid to say it.

Her latest film, What Men Want, explicitly explores these themes. Out in February, it flips the script from the Nancy Meyers-directed What Women Want (2000), which starred Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt. Henson plays Ali Davis, a cocky (for lack of a better term) sports agent. After getting passed over for a big promotion, she visits a psychic (the singer Erykah Badu) who provides her with a special tea that allows her to hear men’s thoughts.

Henson stars and also serves as an executive producer. It’s the first time the 48-year-old actress — who has nailed every dramatic role that has come her way — is getting a chance to flex her musical-theater-trained muscles as the lead in a full-fledged comedy. And Henson is clearly in her element, engaging in the kind of “I’ll do anything for laughs” physical antics emblematic of her heroes Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball.

“I’ve always been the funny girl,” Henson says emphatically. “Not that I was pigeonholed. They were all great dramatic roles, but I’ve been dying. I just felt so honored and grateful to get a comedy where I could let it all hang out. My best friend was like, ‘Lord, they don’t know what they have unleashed.’ ”  

“Taraji is old-school funny,” says someone who would know, her What Men Want co-star Tracy Morgan. “She is willing to take a pie to the face or stuff a bunch of candy in her mouth to get a laugh. She cuts the monster but doesn’t cut too deep because she knows we need the monster comedy.”

This past November Henson also voiced the animated character Yesss (which Henson pronounces as “Yesssssss” in her sweet drawl) in Ralph Breaks the Internet, Disney’s big-budget sequel to Wreck-It Ralph, which grossed over $400 million worldwide. It was another chance for her to show off her comedic chops, but this time for the kids. And after years of struggling to make it in Hollywood, she’s acutely aware of how doing a family film can help her bank account.

“You know, that’s [audiences buying] four tickets instead of two,” Henson says. “That’s generally going to be the largest-grossing film in anyone’s repertoire.”

To attend InStyle’s shoot, she took a 24-hour break from the Chicago set of Empire and her most significant character to date, the cutting and campy Cookie Lyon. Henson admits that the silver-tongued ex-con and matriarch of the Lyon family was the one who really put her on the Hollywood map. Despite all her successes — in the Oscar-nominated films Hidden Figures and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button — Henson has never had a movie studio bring her overseas to do press. But Cookie has.

“Hollywood executives would tell me that I don’t have fans all the way over there,” Henson says, shaking her head. “I said, ‘You’re lying because they can reach me any time. I’m a finger tap away, and they let me know every day.’ ” And while the international box office plays a big role in getting lead parts in feature films, it was Cookie who let Henson know she was appreciated. “Then we go to Paris [to promote Empire], and it’s standing room only in a room with 1,500 seats. I cried. If you believe what people tell you … you can’t let people tell you shit.”

Henson’s strong sense of self comes from her parents. She was an only child until she was 17 (her half sister, April, now works as her “a-sister-ant”). Her father, Boris, was a Vietnam War vet who battled PTSD and alcoholism throughout her childhood. Despite his mood swings, Henson says, he instilled in her a no-fear attitude that has stuck with her to this day. From her mother, Bernice, she inherited her endless drive and passion.

“I was like the Punky Brewster of the hood,” Henson says with a laugh. “I was a well-rounded kid, but I could also scrap if necessary. But I wasn’t that hard. I still had Strawberry Shortcake wallpaper in my room, and my friend Tracie and I were doing Shakespeare in the Park … and we were in the f—ing hood.”

Though it was clear from an early age that Henson was a natural-born performer, she spent her nascent college years attempting to follow in her father’s footsteps by studying engineering at North Carolina A&T State University. With her colorful outfits and spirited attitude, she earned the on-campus nickname Hollywood, yet it still took failing math classes for her to realize the sciences were not where she belonged. When she called Boris to tell him, he was not surprised.

“Good,” he said. “Get your ass back up to D.C. and enroll in Howard’s drama department. Do what you’re supposed to be doing.”

While attending Howard University, Henson became pregnant with her son, Marcell. After graduation the single mom and her baby boy moved to Los Angeles with $700 borrowed from family and friends so she could pursue her dreams. Between casting calls, there were stints as a substitute teacher for kids with special needs. Eventually she landed an agent, and guest spots on network television shows soon followed. But it was her roles in films such as Baby Boy and Hustle & Flow that really made Hollywood take notice.

Now that she’s got the mic, Henson is putting it to good use, choosing impactful projects like this spring’s The Best of Enemies, about civil-rights activist Ann Atwater and her unlikely friendship with C.P. Ellis (portrayed by Sam Rockwell), a former member of the Ku Klux Klan. She is also starring in and producing a movie about Emmett Till, the teenager who was lynched for allegedly whistling at a white woman in Mississippi in 1955.

“I don’t care if you’re young or old or what color you are, art is so powerful,” she says on the topic of representation. “You can show things to people you’ve never met and you broaden horizons. I don’t take for granted what I have, and I try to use it in any way I can, positively.”

The fact that Hollywood continues to preach about the importance of diversity but then casts predominately white males in lead roles is not lost on the actress. “Here’s the deal: When you talk about money, don’t you want to make money? I want every walk of life [in my films]. If I could put an alien in, I would. I want their money too. Come on, it’s what the world looks like. That’s what people want to see, representation. That’s all. You can make money doing it. It’s a no-brainer.”

She also recently established the Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation (named after her beloved father), which encourages African-Americans with mental-health issues to seek the help they need. “It was born out of necessity,” she says. “You know, traumatic stuff happened to me and my son. [Her ex-boyfriend, Marcell’s father, was murdered in 2003.] You can’t just pray it away. I don’t care how strong you are. It gets to you, and if you don’t deal with it, it manifests itself in ways you don’t even know.

“My white friends have standing appointments with their therapists,” Henson continues. “I was like, ‘Why aren’t we doing that?’ In our culture, it’s taboo.” The first people to sign on? Her male friends from the industry, all of whom wrote checks on the spot. “The black men stepped up. Snoop Dogg, Xzibit, Tracy Morgan, Chance the Rapper all stepped up. I called, they answered. Snoop told me, ‘Baby girl, that’s important. What you’re doing is important.’ Tyrese said, ‘You’re making it cool to seek help.’ ”  

Another supportive figure is her fiancé, former NFL cornerback (and Super Bowl XLI winner) Kelvin Hayden. The two were quietly dating for three years before Hayden proposed last Mother’s Day. They are planning to wed this summer in a private, low-key affair, and though her designer friends are offering to make her a dress, Henson is opting for the most efficient route.

“I’m not going to go through 10,000 dresses,” she says. “How does it fit? How do I feel? Does it complement me well? Let’s just go with this one. I know what looks good on me. I’m not going to spend 10 hours on a fitting. I hate that.”

The wedding itself will probably take place in July, once Henson figures out if Empire is going to be picked up for a sixth season. Fortunately, it is filmed in Chicago, where she and Hayden reside with Marcell — now 24 and an aspiring rapper and music producer — and their miniature French bulldog, K-Ball, which was Hayden’s nickname when he played in the NFL.

Their life is a healthy one. Hayden runs his own gym, and she’s always cooking new vegan treats for her tribe. She made the jump to veganism after suffering massive stomach pains while filming The Best of Enemies this past summer. “It took a doctor in Macon, Ga., to say, ‘If you don’t change what you’re doing, you’re going to get stomach cancer.’ I said, ‘Say no more.’ So I switched everything up out of necessity. I want to live. Thank God, because I feel so much better.”

Now that she’s in love, at the top of her game, and clearly adored by the world at large, Henson is ready to expand her repertoire even further. “The older I get, I want to work smarter, not harder,” she says. She’ll answer that superhero hotline if it rings — “DC, Marvel, you all can call me!” — but for now she’s content being the funny girl.

“I want to show you this,” she says, grabbing her phone to play a video that was sent to her by What Men Want director Adam Shankman. It’s footage from an early screening, and the audience is roaring with laughter.

Henson admits to having goose bumps as she cradles the device like a proud mama: “Listen to them cackling!”

[jennasims]

I saw the Get to Know Me Tag floating around and I wanted to try it out. It’s also been a while since I’ve made my simself! I’m not always mad but I do have a quick temper thus my face up above. Under the cut is the rest of the questions.

I was not tagged but I tag anyone that wants to do it!

RULES: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions!

Traits: Bookworm, Hot-headed, Foodie

1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Jenna

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? most of my nicknames in life are based off of my last name sooooo....

3. BIRTHDAY? February 5

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? I read a lot of books, mostly stand alones. I guess Hunger Games?

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? yes and yes

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? Courtney Summers

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? Alt Nation on xm radio, or my spotify

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? blue raspberry!!

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? amazing

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? &Run by Sir Sly

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? I don’t think I have a favorite word! maybe zesty

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? something off the new 21P album, can’t remember the name

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Gilmore Girls, Brooklyn 99, Parks & Rec, Chef’s Table, Parts Unknown w/ Anthony Bourdain (RIP)

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? I like to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race when I’m feeling terrible, I don’t have the attention span for movies.

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? mostly Sims, but I like Animal Crossing and Pokemon

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? dying alone

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? I’m really passionate about things when I want to be

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? sometimes I can be distant to close family and friends

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? I love both but my kitty is the best boy

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Fall, but summer in Maine is always great

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? yeah with myself thank u next

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? No responsibilities NO BILLS

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Kat + Jess

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? brown with blonde streaks

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? My family and my friends and my cat

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? Kat

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? my friends from school who I haven’t seen in ages

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? Christmas? trying to plan a trip for next year too so maybe that if it comes through!!

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? Coffeeeeee

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? Spongebob + Rugrats

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? I don’t think I could tell any man ANYTHING right now but there are some I’ll tell a lot to.

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? a little bit!

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? I hate rodents!!!

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? a little bit of both but it’s usually me behind the camera

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? reading, writing, cooking, Sims

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? Where She Went by Gayle Forman

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? some christmas movie on netflix I already forget what it was called

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? I played the flute for about two weeks in the 5th grade

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Cats & dogs but I also love bears

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? to stop time

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? On the couch or out in the woods with a bowl

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? nature! good music

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? lol sports. sometimes I do yoga

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? fountain sprite or Dunks coffee

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? today! I sent my friend a gift in the mail

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? a little bit

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? impolite and closeminded people

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? [pasdfiosjfkjlasdk yeah I’ve been to a TON because I’m a concert junkie

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? nah

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? A teacher/a journalist/an actress

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? maybe Hogwarts?

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? losing someone very important to me, being unable to pay my bills

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? only like, PITCH BLACK dark

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? I love singing along but I think I’m terrible

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? not in HS but lots in college to smoke weed on the beach

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? the beach!!! I love love love the water

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? I like where I am now a lot

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? a kitty cat named Poe

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? a night owl, I’m up way too late for my own good

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Sunsets

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? yes

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? headphones 

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? yes

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I like pretty much everything but rap/country

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? my mom

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? not really

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? lol my road rage is real

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? mostly real books but don’t mind electronic devices

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? History & English

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? older brother + older sister

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? coffee

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5′3″

75. CAN YOU COOK? yes I love to cook

76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? laughing, listening to others, adventures

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? confrontation when it doesn’t involve me, emotions, stupid heads

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? even mix I’d say

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? straight

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? Maine

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my friend

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? on Monday lol

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? like a lot of Youtubers tbh

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? every once in a while

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? Instagram

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? I love them both and they love me! sometimes my mom and I butt heads but we’re just both really headstrong lol

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? British & New Zealand

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Sweden 

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 5

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? not really

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? deep ocean!! 

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? sometimes

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? nope

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yes

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? nope

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? ahahahaha every once in a while I guess

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? beach!!

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? control what you can // confront what you can’t // always remember how lucky you are to have yourself

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? yes with small lies

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Ravenclaw

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? all the timeeee

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? depends on the day

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? I try to keep one but it never works

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends on the circumstance

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Return it to the owner (if I can find the address & it isn’t too far) otherwise bring it to the police station

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? Yes, but not always.

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? verrrry

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes I love to fly I wish I did it more

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? just my ears

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? meh

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? yes “(un)lost” on my wrist

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? move to Maine by myself

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yes she’s a bitch

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? nope

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? maybe someday! too early in my life to tell

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my older brother

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? god why ask

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? yes many times

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? Dark blue/gray/black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? YES!!

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? yeah! I was on the Today Show when I was 10 

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 23

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? always be your own sunshine

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? i’ve got a lethal sweet tooth

[sunshinekarliekloss]

Karlie Kloss Has a New Away Luggage Collection — and a ‘Hysterical’ In-flight Routine

The model and entrepreneur shares her travel habits, favorite destinations, and the inspiration for her Away x Kode With Klossy collection.

Karlie Kloss is the definition of a frequent flier these days: she feels like she spends more time with her suitcase than her loved ones. If you follow her on Instagram, you've probably seen her signature airport pose, lounging precariously atop baggage carts loaded with her Away luggage — and soon it'll be luggage of her own making.

Kloss is the latest in a creative line-up of collaborators for Away, which has recently worked with the likes of actress and producer Rashida Jones and travel photographer Gray Malin. Today, the limited-edition Away x Kode With Klossy collection drops with two new colors and designs. A portion of proceeds will support her nonprofit, Kode With Klossy, which she started four years ago to help teenage girls learn to code and inspire them to pursue careers in science and technology.

This year, the organization will bring two-week, tuition-free summer coding camps to 1,000 girls across the country. And I saw the effects of these camps firsthand: one of the KWK scholars I met at Wednesday night's launch event developed a gaming app that's in the App Store, and another is running the robotics team at her high school as a sophomore. Meanwhile, Away co-founder and CEO Steph Korey and I were low-key struggling to keep up with the (very basic) programming challenge we were working on.

For the collection, Kloss colored Away’s suitcase line, from the Kids' Carry-on to the Large checked bag, in “gigabyte green” and “pixel purple,” and designed a tech-friendly backpack and cube — in both nylon and vegan leather — from the ground up.

“I love having a backpack and this is the first time Away has introduced a backpack with a collection and we wanted it to really serve the needs of the Kode With Klossy girls,” Kloss said. “There’s a sleeve for a laptop, and we’ve got the cubes to keep your chargers organized inside. It slides perfectly onto your suitcase handle so you can run through the airport — because I’m always late, so I’m always running through the airport.”

That said, we've got more über-relatable travel talk from Kloss — who was mere hours off a flight from London when we spoke at the event — and some not-so-relatable, i.e. the sheer comedy of changing in an airplane bathroom when you're over six feet tall.

Travel + Leisure: Aside from your Away suitcase, of course, what are your travel essentials?

"Looking at my bag, I feel like I am just a road warrior. I am prepared for battle every time I go to the airport. If it’s an overnight flight, I’ve got my compression tights, my toothbrush, my face wipes, face cream. I’m basically Mary Poppins, with everything I could need at the ready in a little bag in my [carry-on] bag. I always have snacks. I’m a serious snack kind of girl. I never want to be on the road or backstage at a fashion show or stuck somewhere hungry. I’m always the friend you want to be traveling with because I have the snacks."

What sort of snacks?

"I always bring really good dark chocolate for that little pick-me-up when you need a sugar kick. I love bringing a good vegan protein bar or, if I can, I’ll bring a proper meal on a plane. I’m not a big fan of airplane food."

And what about your travel routines, what does an overnight flight look like for you?

"When I get on a flight the first thing I do is put on compression tights. With the amount of traveling that I do, if there’s any way to help with circulation, I'll do anything to stay as healthy as possible. So I put them on, which is always hysterical because the bathrooms are [so small], so like me putting on compression tights — I’m 6’ 2” — is a sight to be seen. But then I put on pajamas. I take off any makeup, put on my creams, brush my teeth, put my mouthguard in, and try to fall asleep as quickly as I can."

What's a trip you'd love to take?

"I’m dying to go to India. I just had dinner with my friend Jourdan Dunn and we’ve been talking about this trip that we’re going to take for years, and we just need to commit and book the tickets and make it happen. But just really a mind-body-spirit rejuvenating retreat and I’ve heard about a few different amazing places in India."

How about a place you could visit over and over again?

"I’ve been to Turks and Caicos many times, which is just like a wonderful, short flight down to the Caribbean. Or Iceland is also a less-than-five-hour flight from New York, and it’s like another planet. So that’s one of my favorite destinations. If you’re an outdoors kind of person there are so many things to do. I climbed a glacier and went in a natural geyser hot spring. There are these big lava fields just covered in moss and there’s this extreme nature. Just tour around the countryside and see everything there is to see. And skyr! Try skyr."

You’ve been a big supporter of Away for a while now, what made you want to work with the brand?

"Away is an incredible company and I’m so inspired by the founders and what they’re building. They’re really thinking about how to best serve modern travelers. And I’m somebody who travels with my suitcase every single day. I feel like I see my suitcase more often than I see my loved ones. It’s my travel companion. And I love being able to support the Kode With Klossy girls with this collaboration. Really, it was designed for them." (x)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #239

i just want to sincerely apologize if my surveys take a negative nosedive again. i know this one’s kinda grim and i don’t want to make that a routine, but things are just rough right now and i’m not gonna lie on a survey, y’know.

Do you know anyone who works at McDonald’s? Not that I'm aware of. Do you know anyone who plays heaps of sports? Probably through school. Have you ever been suspended from school? No. Where do your cousins live? Aaaaaaall over the U.S. Have you met any of your second cousins? Possibly at some point? Do you like the All-American Rejects? I like "Move Along" and "It Ends Tonight" is good, but that's all off the top of my head. Oh wait, of course there's "Gives You Hell." When was the last time you wore a skirt? WOW I have ZERO clue. Probably not since elementary years. Have you ever finished a whole video game? Plenty. If so, which one(s)? There are way too many. Do you know anyone with a pet snake? Me, Sara, probably others. Which one of your friends has great music taste? Sara. Was the last person you hung out with single? That would be my young niece and nephew... so yeah. Have you ever attended a private school? I'm a private college now. Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? No, thank Christ. Have you ever cooked for anyone other than yourself? I made breakfast for Sara once. If your phone has a hole for phone charms, is it on the left or right side? I don't have one. Would you rather live in the city, the suburbs, or the rural area? Kinda like... suburban mixed with rural. I don't wanna be totally isolated, particularly away from necessary stores and such, but I also do NOT wanna be swarmed by people. Maybe like a loose neighborhood in the woods outside a small town? Do you know someone who is really ambidextrous? Sara. Did you use a pencil today? No. Are you adopted? Nope. Have you ever had your car break down on you? Never when I've driven, not that that's been much. With Mom, yes. Dad, idr. Jason's prom night, yeah; his truck broke down otw home at a stop light. Oof. Who was the last person that cried in your presence? My mom. It's the worst. When was the last time you ate at your favorite restaurant? Oh wow, probably not since my last birthday. What was the last thing someone gave you? A close family friend/my former teacher lent me a $20 just in case I needed anything while my mom was up in NY. Can you write your name in a foreign language? My first name (at least) is the same in German; even though "y" doesn't exist in the language, I guess it does for foreign names?? Idk about my last name. Who is the person you often go to for venting? Sara. Do you keep an actual journal or diary? No, not anymore. I did briefly when I had that WILD and totally random Jason obsession episode, but once I came off that godawful medicine and I went back to normal, I deleted it. Have you ever been prescribed Vicodin? That sounds very familiar... Maybe? Perhaps that's what was prescribed after my surgery? Have you ever cheated on someone without them finding out about it? Well considering I've never cheated and never would, I can't answer this. Was the last person you kissed male or female? Female. Who were you with the last time you went swimming? Colleen, at the beach. Does your dining table currently have place mats on it? No; we don't even eat at it. What was the last thing you cooked in an oven? I myself have literally never used an oven. I'm scared to. Oh wait, yeah I have... on some occasions where Mom needed me to put something in there or take something out, but idr what. But boy and I can tell you without memory that I was jumpy as hell about it. Is it hard for you to be “just friends” with the opposite sex? No. It's difficult for me to like-like people, especially men when you consider I'm generally afraid of them, on top of I'm just paranoid and don't trust easily. Do you prefer wheat or white bread? Wheat. Do you have an electric toothbrush? No, but coincidentally, I actually have that on my Christmas wishlist. Have you ever had an “exotic” or “abnormal” pet? Do you consider a Chinese water dragon "exotic?" Then I have a ball python morph. Have you ever eaten lobster? No, and considering crab is nauseating, I doubt lobster would be too different. What is your grade point average (if you’re still in school)? I don't know right now and don't know where to find it. Have you ever played croquet? Oh yeah. My sisters and I LOVED that shit as kids. Who was the last person you called? Dad. Have you ever watched Ghostbusters? No, believe it or not. When was the last time you drew a picture? Yikes... been a while. Not since I started a concept drawing of encompassing a panic attack in a meerkat form, as I tend to do. I haven't touched it in months. It's right on the second shelf of the table beside me, so... my only remaining excuse as to not finish it is that the paper is horribly wrinkled now. Are you happy? Not exactly. Should you be doing something now? I could be doing the practice exam work my math professor gave us all considering it's extra credit, but. Yeah. I'm absolutely awful at math and barely passing but I don't exactly need another stressor right now. Is there a smoke detector on every floor of your house? We only have one floor. What was the last kind of soup you ate? I tried vegetable soup anyway when I got my tongue pierced because I literally could not eat solids for over a week, but I'm a picky asshole who didn't like it so wasted the can. I had to survive almost exclusively on meal replacement shakes and popsicles. Warning from the wise: you want your tongue pierced? You better fucking want it bad because healing is a P R O C E S S. Or at least mine was, having to get it re-done and all... Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Have you ever went a year without getting your hair cut? I don't think a year... but maybe? Do you think you could go a week without sugar? Considering sugar is in like... EVERYTHING, probably no? Would you be willing to go one day each week without meat? I don't really pay attention, but I probably already do. I'd like to eat as little meat as possible. Hell, I wish I could go full-on vegan. Do you feel comfortable telling people how much you weigh? NO. Do you have any talents that your friends don’t know about? No. Are you any good at sewing? Never tried, not interested. Has anyone ever interviewed you about one of your hobbies/talents? No. Would you ever consider experimenting with drugs? Marijuana for medical purposes if I didn't have to smoke it. I'm not smoking anything, I don't care what it is. What’s been tugging on your heart lately? I guess life in general. Mortality, death. Teddy died in my arms, I saw my grandmother physically ravaged by cancer, and just life hasn't been the kindest lately. I've been thinking about how time just flies, how every moment should be cherished even though it's so fucking hard, and just yeah. I don't wanna go down this rabbit hole. Are you comfortable with who you are? Have you accepted who you are? I don't know dude I shouldn't be taking a survey during like an existential crisis lol. What is the last thing you did that made you feel guilty? Decided to get some really unhealthy fries with my dinner. Would you have sex with the last person you texted? It's not a matter of "would," I want to. I may have already, I don't really know what separates foreplay from lesbian sex. Do you consider weed, marijuana, pot, etc. a drug? This isn't even an argument anymore, it's fact. It's a mind-altering substance. "Drug" does not always equate to bad, either. Are you planning on kissing anyone tomorrow evening? It'd be nice. Do you require a lot of private time? Oh yeah, but way less than I used to. I get depressed if I'm alone for too long now. Have you ever done something humiliating while drunk? N/A What is your favorite classic Disney movie? The Lion King. Do you like looking at old photographs? Yeah, usually. Do you enjoy puzzles? Yeah. Do you prefer painting or drawing? Drawing by a long shot. I'm taking a painting course this upcoming semester though, so hopefully that'll up my skill and thus enjoyment of it. Do you ever wear high heels? No, I don't have a reason to. Do you use belts? No, considering I never wear anything with belt loops. When was the last time you played Uno? Oh my fucking god, it's been forever, thankfully. When I lived with Colleen, as did her younger sister, we played Uno a lot, and then, AND THEN, came the night Chelsea dyed my hair red. Mind you, the ONLY TIME dyeing my hair had been truly successful and long-lasting. The process took hours, and we played Uno round after Uno round... and now I literally hate it. What do you like better, kiwis or pineapple? Oh man, I love both, but I gotta say kiwi. Are you trying to grow out your hair? No, I actually need to cute it again. What is your favorite perfume/body spray/cologne? Don't have one, really. Have you ever wanted to try karate? Not seriously. How often do you drink water? Ah yikes... I really fell out of my regular habit of drinking multiple bottles daily. Do you ever wear headbands? No. How many video games do you own? A lot. There's like a huge CD case in a living room drawer full of them. I've been considering making an EBay or something to sell a shitload of them as I'm sure a lot are actually pretty valuable now, but I think a lot about how I want to pass them down to my current and possibly future nieces and nephews when they get to a certain age to figure video games out or even have a console that can play PS1-PS3. Have you ever been to a casino? If so, which one(s)? No. What’s your favorite suburb in the city you live in? Why would you... name that on the Internet...? Besides that even, I pay no attention to suburbs' names I happen to pass. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. I don't know if I could ever muster up the courage to even go in one. I'm the type that would just order online. What’s your favorite place to get pizza? I'm a basic Domino's bitch. How many times have you been to the beach? Multiple, but not a LOT. I have little reason to ever go, and it's never my idea, that's for sure. Has there ever been a fire inside your house? Tell me the story. Childhood home. Trying the Jiffy Pop popcorn that you make over the stove. Next thing y'know the thing is seriously on fire and we had to use the fire extinguisher. Fuck you, Jiffy Pop, the harbinger of the next fucking idiots moving in setting the entire house on fire thanks to the stove too. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? No, besides like bees 'n the like being near me. Have you ever had a spray tan? No. Do you own any sports bras? Where’d you get them from? No, but I'd like at least one. Wouldn't know what to use it for, it's not like I go jogging or anything, but. I think it'd be good to have at least one. Have you ever had sex in a kitchen? No. What’s the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever eaten at? I have zero clu- no wait I'm gonna guess the Italian restaurant we went to on Sara's birthday, but that's just a guess judging by how it was fancy as fuck. Who crosses your mind the most? Sara. Have you ever been on a scavenger hunt? Probably as a kid. Ever been to an auction? No. would you ever get acupuncture? omg no Ever got stitches? At least twice. What is a must have on your french fries? At least some salt. Entirely saltless fries are boring. How do you like your meat cooked…medium rare? well done? Nothing less than medium well. If meat tastes even a little bit beneath lukewarm I can't take that shit. Are there two colors that you just simply despise? Bright yellow and puke-green. What do you usually do with recurring dreams? ... Nothing? What CAN you do? Have you ever been told you were hot by a complete stranger? I don't think someone has used the term "hot," but I know I've been called pretty, at least. Do you want to be single or with someone? I want to be with Sara. It kinda feels like we still are, like no feelings have changed, we're just not "official" anymore and not "bound" to one another. Have you ever had a sleepover with the opposite sex? I actually have twice (or thrice?) platonically with my younger neighbor FOREVER ago. We were still kids. Then there was a big (birthday?) party at my place where Juan stayed the night, and then I believe there was an occasion Girt totally knocked out on the couch so... I guess it turned into a "sleepover?" lmao Who are you closest to in your family? My mom. Who were the last 3 people to text you? Sara, Mom, and my sister. Have you ever dated someone in jail? No, and I wouldn't unless it was for something incredibly stupid or I'm aware was a false charge. What’s a movie you cannot BARE to ever watch again? Nothing's coming off the top of my head. Who got you hooked on the addiction you're addicted to (If you have one)? ... I just connected it all in my head. Jason got me into the Amnesia game. I got into custom stories for it. I was playing one one day. I got stuck. I YouTubed it for help. Guess. Who. I. Fuckin'. Found. This is a revelation; I have discovered the main purpose of my and Jason's relationship. Perhaps things do happen for a reason lmao. Are you a little bit cautious around horses? Do they scare you a bit? Not really, but I wouldn't say I'm in no way cautious. They definitely don't scare me, though. I just respect that they're very powerful animals and I'm not experienced with handling them. Have you ever burnt your tongue like REALLY bad? If so, what on? Yes, on rice that was literally right off the fucking stove lmao. LOOK I didn't know it had JUST come off and I was hungry as fuck but boy did I have REGRETS considering the burn lasted for well over a week, maybe two. Do you think having a sleepover with a guy is theoretically acceptable? Um, yes...????? Do you like to have cake on your birthday? Which kind of cake in mind? Yeah, and red velvet or chocolate frosted, depending on what I'm feeling.

[liberatingflame]

1-169, asshole

lol i love you

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

like 6′ would be perfect

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

uh. dragon? dragon.

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

anything that you look at and you can’t decide if it’s jock or goth

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

spyro was the only series i was allowed to play and i lived for it

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

whatever i’m hyperfixated on that month, sleep, and ciaran

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

warning: nearly pure taurus energy, scorpio ascending

7: What is your opinion on alpacas?

they’re fluffy and better than llamas

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

melancholic is what i just got, but it switches between that and sanguine all the time

9: Are you ticklish?

yes. 

10: Are you allergic to anything?

am i not allergic to anything?

11: What’s your sexuality?

pan

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

cocoa or tea, just never coffee

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

cat

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

merperson hands fucking down

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

bazza or muselk probably

16: How tall are you?

5′6ish

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

uh. well. you see. it’s jay.

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

lmao no

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

yes, i do

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

i’m a “look at those stars” kind of person, but my room growing up was painted like it was underwater, so. both.

21: Are you religious?

lmao

22: Pet peeves?

harley licking my things

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

i’d rather be diurnal because, uh, functioning human. i am nocturnal though.

24: Favorite constellation?

dickbutt

25: Favorite star?

me

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

i don’t like dolls, but those are the cutest

27: Any phobias or fears?

sure

28: Do you think global warming is real?

look outside right now and tell me it’s not

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

yeah, there have been enough instances of actual cases that it’s pretty hard for me to personally deny, so

30: Favorite movie?

it cycles, i still love heathers tho

31: Do you get scared easily?

kind of? not really? 

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

not counting fish and including harley, 7

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

valid to eat fingers

34: What is a color that calms you?

blue and certain shades of red

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

i’m really liking washington?? i’d like to travel anywhere

36: Where were you born?

sanford, florida. hrugh.

37: What is your eye color?

blue-green

38: Introvert or extrovert?

extroverted introvert? 

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

it gets spooky sometimes, but like. not on a basic level for sure.

40: Hugs or kisses?

depends

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

ngl, my sisters

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

everyone i love? uh

43: Any piercings you want?

re-pierce my cartilage and get a few more lobe piercings and just like stab me and put something in it and i’ll love it

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

yes.

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?

i’ve smoked weed, but like. eh. cigarettes are gross, they smell and feel and taste awful.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

i don’t have a crush on anyone lol

47: What is a sound you really hate?

ticking

48: A sound you really love?

trains really late at night. 

49: Can you do a backflip?

no

50: Can you do the splits?

the splits? no

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

winona ryder

52: Favorite movie?

uh h hh h  i already answered this

53: How are you feeling right now?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

i just dyed it but i really want it to be red again. it was like a sunset red for a while during the fading process and i’d kill for that all the time.

55: When did you feel happiest?

when a cat touched me with her tiny feet

56: Something that calms you down?

cats and their tiny feet

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

58: What does your URL mean?

it’s based on something i said when i was not myself. i said i’d died before and i’d do it again. so i’m functionally immortal.

59: What three words describe you the most?

really fucking tired

60: Do you believe in evolution?

it’s. science.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

a lot. i’m not above doing things for petty reasons.

62: What makes you follow a blog?

being interested in what they post??

63: Favorite kind of person:

me

64: Favorite animal(s):

cats, snakes, birds

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

@heathersadapt​, @heatherspoisson​, @dirtyheathersconfessions​

66: Favorite emoticon:

:}€

67: Favorite meme:

horse memes. like. valid to eat fingers.

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

infp

69: What is your star sign:

taurus

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

lmao no

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

my work clothes or my pajamas

72: Post a selfie or two?

no

73: Do you have platform shoes?

GOD I WISH

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

i’m the bird friend

75: Can you do a front flip?

no

76: Do you like birds?

i love birds

77: Do you like to swim?

of course i do

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

swimming

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

do you want to see my blacklist or something

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

fire magic. i wish fire magic were real.

81: Piercings you have?

just ears at the moment, cartilage closed up lmao

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

sleeping, eating ice cream, listening to music. pick from my faves.

83: Favorite person to talk to:

ciaran??

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

god it sucks here

85: How many followers do you have?

222 and only 111 of them are spam

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

in middle school, which was the last time i tried, i ran a mile in 6 minutes and 46 seconds

87: Do your socks always match?

fuck no that’s hard

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

yes

89: What are your birthstones?

diamond? stones?

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

a cockatoo probably

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

i don’t fucking know

92: A store you hate?

walmart and the ones that smell bad in the mall

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

many, but i hate coffee so i drink none

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

fly, i don’t want to know what’s going through anyone else’s mind

95: Do you like to wear camo?

no. i did in elementary school.

96: Winter or summer?

winter

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

long enough to cross the bridge in spirited away

98: Least favorite person?

it’s all family all the way

99: Someone you look up to:

myself

100: A store you love?

target, lush

101: Favorite type of shoes

boots!! boots!!!! i also like sneakers

102: Where do you live?

outside of seattle

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

no i like meat

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

uhhhh opals are the most diverse and coolest?

105: Do you drink milk?

ye

106: Do you like bugs?

ye

107: Do you like spiders?

ye

108: Something you get paranoid about?

hhhh

109: Can you draw:

yes, but is it good? absolutely not

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

this one

111: A question you hate being asked?

this one

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

i lived in florida. yes. 

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

i love them

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

cloudy, i moved to washington for a reason

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

i’m comfortable right now actually

116: Favorite cloud type:

the kind in the sky

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

i wish i caught the sunset today

118: Do you have freckles?

no :(

119: Favorite thing about a person:

varies person to person

120: Fruits or vegetables?

i’m allergic to most fruits i like, but i like them more than vegetables anyways, so.

121: Something you want to do right now:

sleep or play bbs

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

they’re both gorgeous, fuck off

123: Sweet or sour foods?

depends on the mood

124: Bright or dim lights?

dim, mostly

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

me, i believe in me

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

tumblr

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

friends

128: What do you think about the least?

i don’t think about it, i don’t know

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

believe it

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

i have a list

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

me

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

not normally, no

133: Computer or TV?

computer

134: Do you like roller coasters?

yes

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

only sometimes

136: Are your ears lobed or attached

attached

137: Do you believe in karma?

no, bad people don’t always get what’s coming to them and it sucks

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

like 5? 

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

hate nicknames

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

nah

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

yeah, she sucked

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

it depends on the person???? i’m both

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

both are good!

144: What makes you angry

family

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

none, i can’t speak

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

yes

147: Are you androgynous?

god i wish, my boobs are too big

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

my hair is so fucking fluffy

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

i don’t have one

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

ciaran, i’m good.

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

BT: before trump

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

no, but i’m on it all the time.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

i met my partner in being broke in high school

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

no

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

ya

156: What embarrasses you?

i just told ciaran i wore camo in elementary school and that’s embarrassing

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

anxiety

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

idk i don’t keep track

159: How many people are you following?

451

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

14199

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

23

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

4190

163: Last time you cried and why:

i dont remember

164: Do you have long or short hair?

mid length

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

to my butt

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

i was raised roman catholic by overbearing adults with racist views so im not friends w religion anymore

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

no

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

sometimes

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? 

no