#and also it IMMEDIATELY sold out after i bought it and even the page that i wanted to link here is gone so i guess it's sold out forever

[motheatenscarf]

i have made

an impulsive purchase

[kosomolski-dolls]

So...

This is a big troublesome problem for me 🥲

If you have followed me on instagram for a while (or maybe even here), you know I'm a big advocat for Youpladolls. I love her dolls, love her sculpts, love the resin colours, love the resin itself. I love their posing and stability and quite frankly, I consider myself her number 1 fan 😅

I own all her MSD and smaller sculpts (except for Vlad, though he is the same sculpt as Vaéron, just with human ears, so... that still counts), and I have a strict "One Doll Per Sculpt" rule, that I usually manage to hold myself up to, to at least SOMEWHAT keep my collection at bay.

Only exception so far are 2 Unoa sculpts that I actually have a double, but these are related, so. Different.

Now. Youpla is the one that always makes me want to break this rule. Starting with Ziya, I've wanted a tan Ziya to begin with. Got a petal one because I missed the last preorder and the instock tan one sold within minutes. Got tempted immediately half a year later when she brought dark tan Ziya to LDoll... (I wouldn't have gotten the petal one had I known she was making this beauty for LDoll...). And ever since then I've been tempted to buy a tan one whenever I saw one for sale.

So now I COULD order one. I COULD order a tan one, or I COULD go for the chocolate colour (which is a new skin tone different to the old chocolate from Lupita's preorder, and close to the Dark Tan...).

I'm KINDA glad the chocolate is not like the old skin colour, because then I'd ALSO be tempted to get a Lupita in chocolate... When she was released I knew I wanted the dark tan, as I had seen it on LDoll in person and knew it was gorgeous. But the lighter chocolate looked so pretty as well, so I almost bought both back then.

But now I'm tempted to get a petal Lupita as well, because... imagine how cute an albino look would be on her?

But in the end, my "One Doll Per Sculpt" rule is still keeping me at bay.

The only thing that is ACTUALLY tempting me (and I mean, really, whispering in my ear to go for it), is getting a chocolate Vàna... I'm pretty sure the sculpt will be discontinued after this preorder, together with Olive and Ophélie (and possibly Ziya as well due to age of the mold?), so this would be the last chance... and why would I get her?? I HAVE a Vàna. In fact, Vàna was my 3rd BJD (after 2 Minifees I bought together) and the first one I actually fell in love at first sight. I love her dearly, but the thing is, she's in mint and therefore not "compatible" with the rest of my crew. She has her own people (Celeste in purple and Vaéron in turquoise) and her own universe. So if I got her in chocolate, she could hang out with the rest of the crew...

And to be completely honest, this thought is seriously haunting me (in the most positive way possible)...

I still have time until beginning of April to think about it...

[clumsyg]

that one time i got banned by rudy of alpha investments...

FOLKS! i've been a fan of rudy of alpha investments for a while now. ever since i got back into magic (right before the kaladesh block) and jumped into the speculation side of things, i've enjoyed watching his youtube videos talking about the financial side of collecting cardboard.

a few months ago, a spot opened up on rudy's patreon, and i joined at the $15/month subscription level, even though my spending on magic: the gathering was at its lowest point.

a friend of mine hyped me up about the metazoo x sanrio collab, and rudy sent a message notifying patrons that he was going to offer a kit. on november 24th, the kit went on sale, and i replied to the post claiming a spot. rudy responded to the post with my order number and instructions to send payment through paypal.

a week or so later, rudy offered more kits but at a cheaper price. i hadn't received a tracking number on my order and assumed he wasn't going to start shipping until he sold out his inventory.

so, i waited. after another week, i checked the comments thread for the metazoo x sanrio drop i took part in and saw that rudy had responded to one buyer who wanted status on shipping.

"these left a long time ago," rudy responded.

on december 22nd, i dm'd rudy through patreon, providing my paypal account email and the transaction id for the purchase. he responded back the next day.

i was disappointed that i wasn't offered an immediate refund and couldn't get another kit as it had sold out.

i didn't see anything on the horizon i wanted to put that money towards, and i didn't want my money tied up in someone's makeshift credit account.

after considering my options and rudy's future release slate, i asked for a refund.

four days later, with no response, i asked again.

three days after that, and a full week of no responses, i went on paypal to see what my worst-case scenario remedies were. i had no intention of doing a chargeback -- i've always tried to resolve disputes with communication and only use chargebacks when it's the only solution. and besides, there was no option for a chargeback -- paypal said i could open a dispute in a few months if no amicable resolution could be found in the meantime.

i clicked a link to message rudy through paypal, but it took me to a page that said the seller was not open to messages.

there was an option to "report a problem," and i clicked it to see where it went.

i was able to communicate with rudy there.

before i could submit a message, i was asked to link to rudy's refund/cancellation policy -- which i couldn't find. i was asked to describe the issue i was having, and then i had an opportunity to upload screenshots and "evidence" regarding the issue. i posted a screenshot of rudy admitting he had made a mistake.

before i submitted the message, i was given a notification that the seller would receive the screenshots and the problem i described. it was clear that i was starting a conversation with rudy, not initiating a chargeback. there was also a note from paypal to use this step as a way of resolving the issue amicably directly with the seller.

well, it took only 10 minutes for rudy to reply to this message.

not only did rudy refund me the money, he also banned me from his patreon.

and then he went too far and said he shared my personal information with other stores.

i've only ever resorted to chargebacks or disputes after a lengthy amount of non-communication and inaction. as a person who has bought, sold, and traded cards and comics, i know that maintaining a business -- especially online -- is difficult.

in fact, i have another online seller who currently owes me two cases of another tcg. while this seller had absolutely no timetable for when they'd have the product in stock, their constant and clear communication with me has built trust, and i told them i was willing to wait so long as they don't ghost me.

i would have gladly worked this out with rudy and tried doing so. it's a little ironic that rudy suggested to me that i "allow people to work with me" when his reaction to my reaching out was to completely burn the bridge by closing my account, labeling me a chargeback offender, and then sending my personal information to others.

all this in response to a simple question -- can i get a refund?

anyways, since i no longer can message rudy, i hope that he sees this one day.

first, i apologize. i didn't initiate a chargeback/dispute; i messaged you to get some communication regarding a possible refund. my hope was to work it out in a civil matter. second, i would suggest you practice what you preach.

for example, a few days ago, you posted a video which prompted a pretty severe response from metazoo games and legend story studios after you criticized how they were doing business. you messaged the patreons, saying you had taken down the video and hoped the companies wouldn't completely turn their backs on you.

perhaps consider how this former patreon supporter hoped you would respond to a simple request as you tell your youtube viewers not to give interest-free loans to businesses.

[marlowe1-blog]

"Montraldo" (The Stories of John Cheever)

Tourist meets people and yeah...

I found a link stating that Montraldo is a name that means "artist, problem avoider, charismatic" and I think that might be the best key to this story. Not only is the main character avoiding any problems by taking off to Italy and the town of Montraldo but the writer is avoiding any possible lasting plot from the beginning to end.

In order of appearance, the plot threads introduced in this story include:

Our nameless protagonist stealing a diamond ring from Tiffany's by swapping it for a worthless ring.

A voyage to Italy that involves an affair

A bullying owner of a villa that rents out to sad people

An old woman and her servant who hates her

A woman on a beach with a kid

An anecdote about a waiter who actually pushed a customer's head in his food

A band that plays Dixieland Jazz.

Eventually Cheever settles on the old woman and her servant. Her servant is her daughter actually and also her servant/daughter probably kills her. This is a strange one since the servant insults the old woman and the old woman simply speaks of her in loving terms.

This really doesn't make sense, even filtered through a sardonic narrator who is more fascinated with everything. He doesn't really do much of anything after that initial robbery of Tiffany's (the first time he robbed Tiffany's but as far as the story is concerned, the last time he robbed Tiffany's. Certainly there might be other times, but he's probably coming into a new adventure.

This is a 6 page story with 7 different plot threads. Most of them are abandoned. A more cynical view would state that Cheever was trying to find a story and when he finally managed to resolve one of the stories called it a day (I hate the pantser vs. plotter dichotomy but I would say that this is more pantser than anything.)

Just as the Job chapters feel repetitive when it comes to Job's dumb friends telling Job to shut up and Job telling them that God is a tyrant, the John Cheever stories are feeling repetitive in their seemingly random happenstance.

I also feel like these stories are beautiful in their romantic nature and their love of travel and Italy but also so random that John Cheever appeared to be coasting on his reputation. He was the author that New Yorker bought. They loved him and they sold more issues when he was in them (kind of like in the 90s when a Harlan Ellison story would be an automatic sale because almost everyone who loved science fiction would be excited with a new Ellison story - even if Ellison's best days were behind him).

Oddly enough I was thinking more about the Beckett plays I saw in college. They were uniformly awful. One was just a guy getting up and looking shocked as a voice droned on. I don't even remember the other two, but the program said that he sold these to a television show and it aired on a certain date. I immediately thought "I bet they paid him before he wrote them" because "Holy shit, the guy who wrote Waiting for Godot wants to be on television" superseded everything including anyone actually reading those scripts to find out if they were actually worth producing.

So this is another messy John Cheever story that is kind of from the late period (although the stories of John Cheever were all written before he stopped drinking so there was at least a decade of writing afterwards) and if it hadn't been for "The Swimmer" (we're getting to it) critics would have probably let his legacy end in the 1950s as the "Checkov of Suburbia".

[tomreview]

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[mediocre-writerr]

who do you love [lexi howard]

lexi howard x reader

requested: Hiii! I just discovered your page while looking for Euphoria fics. I saw that you don’t have any Lexi Howard fics. Could I request a fic where Reader is partnered up with Cassie for a project or something and they meet Lexi and develops a crush on her, but Lexi is clueless and thinks reader has a thing for Cassie? Fluff please. Also your works are absolutely amazing!

a/n: italicized are rue's voiceover

*not my gif*

Lexi has always lived in the shadows of her sister. Every guy or girl she liked just never fell for her. They always fell for her sister. Cassie was the one in the spotlight and Lexi was just the background character.

You sat there with your earbuds in as your teacher went on and on about some project you guys had to do. But again, you weren't exactly listening.

Until he came over and ripped your earbuds out of your ear. You looked up at him with innocent eyes, "Ms. Y/L/N, you're partnered with Ms. Howard. Hopefully, she'll be able to fill you in since you weren't paying attention,"

You sent him a small smile before trudging your way over to Cassie. You heard a lot of things about her, but you didn't really care what everyone thought around here. Most of them were assholes anyway.

"So were you paying attention to anything he was saying?" you asked as you plopped down into the seat next to her.

"Not a word, but my friend Kat heard all of it. If you want you can come over tonight, we can start working on it, getting it over with," she offered and you nodded. 

“Sounds great,”

You see this was the start of a beautiful friendship for Y/N and Cassie. They became as thick as thieves. Everyone thought that Y/N and Cassie would eventually get together, but the entire time Cassie was just trying to get her newly found best friend to admit feelings for her sister. 

And those feelings started, cheesy to say, but at first sight.

You knocked on the Howard’s door, bouncing on the balls of your feet. You didn’t really know how to feel, Cassie was popular and well you? Not so much.

The door swung open and you swore your jaw dropped all the way to the floor. You were met with the younger Howard sister. She was beautiful. Her beautiful brown hair fit perfectly with her fair skin.

“You must be Y/N?” she says, snapping you out of your daze.

“Yeah, that’s me. Hi, Lexi, right?” you asked, stepping into the house as she held the door open.

“Yeah. Cassie went out with Maddy, but she texted me and said she’s on her way back. You can come in, you don’t have to wait outside like a dog,” she joked and you laughed together softly.

The two of you sat together on the couch. Your eyes gazed to the TV to see her watching Crazy Rich Asians. One of your favorite movies of all time. The screen was showing the montage of Rachel trying on all the different dresses for the wedding.

“This movie is a masterpiece,” you tell her.

She nods, “This is my first time watching it and I’m completely sold,” 

“Oh, you haven’t even gotten to the best part yet. The wedding scene is-” you put your fingers to your lips and kiss them, “Chef’s kiss!” 

“Hmm, I’ll have to take your word for it,” she said.

You continued watching as the wedding scene started. Lexi’s eyes were glued to the TV, but yours kept drifting towards Lexi. The way she watched intently as Kina Grannis started singing “Can’t Help Falling In Love”.

The scene ends and she looks at you, tears boarded at her eyes, “Why am I going to cry?” she laughed.

“Because it’s one of the most beautiful scenes in history,” you told her. 

The two of you just stared at each other. Her doe brown eyes were captivating and you couldn’t help your eyes from drifting down to her lips. There was a moment where you thought she did the same thing. 

The door bust open filled with laughter and Cassie and Maddy’s eyes landed on the two of you, “Hey Y/N, sorry I’m late. I see my sister was able to keep you company,”

“Oh yeah, Lexi was great. It was nice meeting you, I’ll see you around,” you told her. 

You see, my best friend Lexi developed a crush on Y/N right after that. But despite me and Jules telling her constantly that she felt the same way, Lexi still thought that you fell for her blonde sister and not her. 

“Cassie! I am not telling your sister that I like her. She does not feel the same way that I do. I am not going to risk my friendship that I’ve built with her and you,” you told her as the two of you laid on the bed in her bedroom.

She looked at you with her blue eyes like you were on drugs, “Are you kidding me right now? You sound like you just bought something from Fez. I’ve never seen my sister look at anyone the way she looks at you. You need to stop being a fucking coward and just tell her how you feel,”

“Okay, what if she does want to be my girlfriend? What if something bad happens? I lose the both of you and I can’t do that. I don’t want you to choose between me and your own sister,” you whispered.

Your heads were slightly tilted towards each other as you just stared at her, “I think you need to take advice from your favorite movie: you’re not playing to win, you’re playing to not lose. So play to win. Don’t think about the what if’s and even if things go south with my sister, I found a sister in you. You’re not gonna lose me either,” she said, “You’re one of my favorite people in the entire world, possibly my favorite, don’t tell Maddy that though. I love you so much Y/N,”

Little did the two of you know that Lexi was at the door way. She didn’t hear anything besides that you’re Cassie’s favorite person and that she loves you. 

“Awww someone loves me,” you nudge her shoulder, “But I’m for sure going to tell Maddy that I’m your favorite person. She’ll have a field day with that one,”

She pushed your face away from her, “You will not! I’ll just tell Lexi myself then,” 

You gasped, “You wouldn’t dare!” 

“Then you do it!” she exclaimed. 

Lexi avoided Y/N after that day. She also avoided Cassie. The two girls didn’t know why the brunette Howard was avoiding them. All they knew was that she avoided them every chance that she got.

It broke Y/N’s heart. She was finally ready to tell Lexi how she felt. And now, she wants nothing to do with her. No more movie nights. No more random ice cream days. But rather, Y/N going over to visit Cassie and being disappointed when their mom would answer the door and not Lexi.

You finally caught up to her as she was trying to sprint past you in the hallway. You grabbed her wrist and she looked back at you. The first time actually seeing those beautiful eyes of hers in weeks.

“What did I do? I understand if you don’t want to talk to me. I understand if you don’t want to be my friend, but please just tell me what I did. That’s the least I deserve,” you whispered, your voice breaking at the thought of losing one of your best friends. 

She shook her head, “Nothing, you didn’t do anything,” 

“I obviously did something, you’re not talking to me!” you exclaimed. 

Lexi broke free of your grasp, “You don’t need me Y/N. You have my sister. Cassie always wins. She’s always been in the spotlight. She always gets the guys and girls. Everyone I’ve ever liked, she went for them. And she always wins. I just thought for once that I mattered. That for once, the person I fell in love with chose me, but I guess I was wrong,” 

She stormed away and you were left with your mouth agape. Everything she said twirling in your brain. You immediately told Cassie all of it and your brain worked together to try and figure out a way to win her back. Until it all finally clicked.

You stood outside in the backyard of the Howard’s house. A slip n slide was in the path leading to you, switch on candles. You sat on the opposite side with a guitar in your hand. Luckily, you can play. 

Singing on the other hand, well let’s just hope it goes well.

“Cassie, I already said I don’t want to talk to you! You can’t bribe me with Bob Ross tutorials!” Lexi’s voice echoed as she closed the backyard door. 

She spotted you sitting there and she was immediately about to go inside when you yelled out to her, “Lexi please! Just let me explain, it’ll take maybe three or four minutes of your time,” 

Lexi walked down the slip n slide, but not before falling on her butt and sliding towards you. You let out a roar of a laugh as she finally reached down to you. She tried hard to fight off a laugh and a smile, but you could see it faintly. 

When you finally came down from your high she looked at you with raised eyebrows, “Well, I’m waiting,” 

You started playing the guitar. The melody you learned just hours before playing from the guitar. You took in a deep breath as you started singing the infamous song that got you to fall in love with her in the first place. 

“So, take my hand, take my whole life too. For, I can’t help falling in love with you. For, I can’t help falling in love with you,” you finish the song.

The two of you look at each other as you place your guitar down next to you, “You do matter to me, Lexi. More than you know. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you, but ever since the first night I met you I’ve always been in love with you,” 

“Cassie actually told me that I need to play to win. And if I had to slip on my ass a thousands times trying to set up this low budget recreation of the wedding scene in Crazy Rich Asians, I would. I did it because I need to win your heart, because Lexi, you already have mine,” 

A small smile breaks out onto her face as she closes the distance between the two of you. She kissed you ever so softly as you tasted the sweet taste of her lips. 

“And you have mine,” 

[alloftheimaginess]

Tell All

A/n: I cried when I got this request. It literally took me back to being 14 years old writing cringe fanfics on wattpad of one direction and their super stereotypical likes and dislikes lol also before I found out that black people wrote imagines so I was always reading "and Yn brushed her long blonde hair up into a messy bun and decided she looked good and was ready to go about her day, making sure she applied sunscreen because her fair skin burned easily" those were good times. Also changed it up a little reader and Harry stayed together and are in an amazing relationship because who wouldn’t want to be exclusive it’s Harry fucking styles. Also it’s my first Harry imagine so it definitely sucks lol

Warnings: a few swear words, sucky writing and probably a ton of mistakes.

"Let's welcome our guest" Lauren the host says and I run on stage and she pulls me into a big hug as everyone cheers and I hug her back, rocking us back and forth.

"Oh my god, how are you?" I ask kissing her cheek as I pull back.

"I'm so good, super glad you're here" she says.

"You and me both" I say pulling away fully and turning to the audience and I smile at them.

"And how are you all?" I ask and they all cheer so I laugh.

"That's good to hear" I say sitting down and I smile.

"So I have yet to read your book, your tell all as it has yet to come out officially. I'm hoping you could read just a little of it" she says handing me the book I sent her yesterday and I nod opening it to the chapter I want to read from.

"Keep in mind everyone, if you haven't already preordered Yn's book do it. It comes out in four days and I seen online from your official site it’s already sold out" she says and I smile at her nodding.

“Yeah but I’ve partnered with a bunch of stores so if they have books you can buy it. Also I’m donating a bunch of books” I say and she smiles.

“Really?” She asks and I nod.

“Yeah, with every book bought it’s a meal for a family so I bought out like 3 thousand copies and so that’s 3 thousand families fed and not even to mention all the copies that have been ordered from everyone. So now I have all these books and will be giving them out starting today” I say and everyone in the audience cheers.

“Sounds like you guys are actually excited so I’ll start with you” I say and they cheer even louder and I laugh.

"Ready?" She asks and I nod.

"I'm so nervous" she says giggling and I laugh.

"You're nervous, how do you think I feel? You guys are the first people besides my mom that are hearing anything from it. But the chapter I chose is called ‘Oh No I'm Pregnant’ so we’ll start there" I say and everyone starts screaming in the audience and I have to cover my ears as I laugh, even Lauren is in shock and I laugh waiting for the screams to die down.

"This isn't what I needed at all. The band is broken up, I don't know what to do with myself. We're only 21 and 20 this can not be happening" I read and she leans in smiling at me.

"I remember my thoughts. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe the break is exactly what we needed at this time so I can focus on being a mother, yes this is exactly what I need because now I can give you all of my attention" I read and the pictures of Winnie pop up on the screen and Lauren turns to look at them.

"Oh my god, she looks like Harry!" Someone screams and I giggle behind the book.

"Look at those curls" Lauren says.

"How am I going to tell him? How will he look at me. Will I just be the woman he made an accidental child with that he won't even want? Will he hate me and say it's not his? What will his family think? His family is some of my biggest supporters. We have been together for a while but we’ve never even talked about kids" I read.

"Do I tell him immediately or do I tell him later? I have all these questions and no one to help me answer them" I read flipping the page and everyone is listening while watching videos of Winnie and I, some of them from when she first started walking to now as she's almost five years old and she's in gymnastics doing flips.

"Moving past my doubt of pregnancy. This is called dedicated to Winnie" I say and everyone cheers.

"The minute I heard your heartbeat you took over my every thought. I have to be an amazing mother to you, I have to give you all that you deserve. Then I found out you were a girl. My little girl with a beating heart and I knew your name. As soon as I seen you I knew you were my little Gwyneth" I read and the video pops up of Harry playing the guitar and everyone starts cheering

"We'll be a fine. We'll be a fine line. We'll be a fine line" he sings playing the song on the guitar.

"What are we going to be?" He asks and the camera points towards Winnie who's sat in my lap.

"We'll be alright" she sings bouncing with him to the music.

"Again" he yells over the music and she giggles.

"We'll be alright" she sings through her giggles.

"Why?" He asks still playing the song.

"Because of mommy" she sings to the beat of the song and I tickle her and she giggles doubling over from laughter.

"Because of mummy" Harry sings and I smile at him.

"We'll be alright" he sings standing up and she sings with him and he kisses her head before he quickly pecks my lips and I laugh.

"Holy shit!" Lauren yells as the audience is losing their shit.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up" she says freaking out.

"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry I know I'm not supposed to swear but how could I not? Did you just see that fucking video? Yn you are going to give everyone a heart attack" she says and she stares at me with wide eyes.

"I can't believe this is real" she says laughing and the audience is still losing their shit and I just laugh through all the chaos.

"You came onto this show letting us think we had the upper hand because you have to answer every question we ask but really you had all the power over us" she says.

"I'm literally crying. Play that back" she says wiping her eyes and they play it again.

"How old is she?" She asks.

"She's four. Almost five" I say.

"What's her full name?" She asks.

"Gwyneth Anne Styles" I say and she covers her face.

"After Harry’s mom? Who all knows about her?" She asks.

"Yes and my family knows, his family, the boys aka Zayn, Niall, Louis and Liam, the food delivery guy that brought me food the whole time I was pregnant from that Chinese food place, the people that help Harry with his albums so everyone in the studio. James Corden and now all of you" I say.

"Harry is a dad. Oh my gosh" she says covering her face and I hear some of the audience crying.

“So are you two like officially together?" She asks and I nod.

"Yeah" I say smiling at her.

"Like dating or marriage because after the news of a whole five year old I can't trust anything else you say" she says and I laugh.

"Just dating, I'm only 25. I'm still trying to figure myself out" I say and she laughs.

"I wouldn't believe that even for a second" she says eyeing me and I laugh.

"Good" I say.

"Good" she says back and then she pauses.

"Wait what?" She asks and I nod.

"What do you mean good?" She asks.

“Ooh that looks like it’s time” I say.

“Uh uh, I need information” she says.

“We have to move on” I say

[igotbulletproof-insomnia]

Adopting Bangtan 05

01, 02, 03, 04

Jung Hoseok, age 10

For Jungkook’s sixth birthday, you take all of the boys to a water park. You let them run loose to play on the slides and in the pools while you float along the lazy river with a web novel and a whole lot of sun. Every half hour or so, the boys will come find you and take turns floating with you, from Namjoon reading over your shoulder, to Yoongi lounging away from his brothers, to Seokjin rambling on about his friends at school, to Jungkook telling you the adventures his toys have been on (and reminding you about all the toys he still wants). You even let Namjoon convince you to go down several of the slides, and hold Jungkook when he’s afraid to go down one of the bigger slides for small children.

He’s grown a lot since he came to you almost two years ago and has become an endearingly clingy child. All of the boys are, if you pay enough attention. It’s in the way Namjoon calls when you’re even a little bit late coming home, or Yoongi waits for you to return no matter how late it gets. It’s how Seokjin sneaks into your bed some nights after what you know were nightmares but he’ll never admit to it. It’s how each boy does their best to take care of you in the smallest of ways, and take care of each other when you are too sick or exhausted or -- regretfully -- busy to do it yourself. It was how they each say “I love you,” like a promise or a question or a reminder, and it breaks your heart sometimes, because you know they are afraid you will drop them off somewhere or just up and leave and they won’t see you again. Which is why every so often during the day, you send Seokjin funny twitter posts, and keep up your silly emoji war with Namjoon. You remind Yoongi that he still isn’t allowed to drink coffee for breakfast and don’t he dare buy Jungkook any more snacks.

It’s also why you let the boys drag you over to the giant family slide where you hold Jungkook tight in your lap and sit in the absolute worse position for splashing and you ride that slide a dozen times because the kids are grinning and cheering and so genuinely happy that you’ll drown if it’s what they want.

… You hope that’s not what they want.

"I'm hungry,” Jungkook tugs at your hand after the most recent ride. You check the time on your watch, surprised to see that it’s nearing dinner time.

“Okay, boys,” you announce, “you have two choices, and Kookie’s choice counts twice because it’s his birthday. We can eat here and I’ll let you complain about your stomach aches tomorrow, or we can order from Ahjusshi’s. Which one?”

“Here!” They all chorus. You knew that they would, but you wanted to at least give them the choice. You sigh because you know it’s going to be Jungkook and Seokjin who complain the most tonight, but you also aren’t going to stop them from having fun.

“Okay, Namjoon, Seokjin, you two go find us a table. I’ll take Yoongi and Kookie to go order.” Immediately the boys run off, Kookie’s little feet making pitter-patter noises because he refused to wear the shoes the park provided. They were probably lost somewhere and you just wasted a fair bit of money paying extra for them in the first place.

Twenty minutes later, you pass a child sitting alone on your way to get refills. It’s not like you hadn’t noticed the kid before now. He’s been wiping at his face, head swivelling around as if he is searching for someone. He holds the remains of a candy bar in his fist and a drink cup sits abandoned in front of him. You have been acutely aware of the child. He looks like he could be somewhere around Namjoon or Yoongi’s ages, and you are very sternly talking yourself out of investigating. Maybe you can find another parent to talk to him? Better yet, find a park staff who can page the young boy’s parents. It’s actually a good plan, a solid plan, the plan of a recovering impulsive child adopter.

Wow, that sounds bad, even in your mind.

Naturally, your plan takes a hit when you return to your table to find Jungkook sitting in Seokjin’s lap, Namjoon and Yoongi gone.

“Where…?” You begin to ask, just for Seokjin to point to the table with the lost boy. You’re suddenly hit with the thought that maybe you aren’t the serial child adopter, but your first two knuckleheads might be. You also get the feeling that things are not going to go at all the way that you planned.

“He looked lonely. Kookie was going to go over and give him a cookie,” -- the kid giggles at his own joke, -- “but Yoongi and Joonie told him to stay here while they went to see what’s wrong with him instead.” You nod and put down the drink caddy. Tell Seokjin to keep watching the baby and join the boys at the table with the lost kid.

“... and when I opened my eyes, she was gone,” the kid was explaining. “I thought she maybe got lost, but… I don’t know anymore. That was hours ago.” He looks at the bright blue watch on his wrist.

“Do you know what time that was?” You ask. The kid seems to shrink in on himself, suddenly shy. Or maybe scared. He’s a smart kid, if he’s afraid of strangers. It was more than you could say about Namjoon sometimes. After a long moment, in which Yoongi reaches over to hug your waist and Namjoon asks after the drink he asked for, the kid shrugs.

“I don’t know,” he says. “My watch is broken. But I think I remember when you and the really little one over there got… a cake? I remember thinking it was pretty and I was starting to get hungry again…”

“Are you hungry now?” the kid nods his head slowly and you sigh. “Yoongi-ah. Take this and go get your friend something to eat. What’s your name, kid?” You bought Jungkook the cake shortly after lunch time. If the kid had been sitting here this long waiting for his mother to show up… You mentally shiver at the thought of abandoning a child at a crowded water park. Literally anything could have happened, people these days were creeps. This poor child could have been kidnapped or murdered, or drowned. He could have been sold into a human trafficking ring, anything.

“Jung Hoseok,” the kid tells you, barely audible. You reach your hand out to him and try to use the gentlest smile you could muster. Tomorrow, you’ll have to visit the precinct again to tell them about yet another abandoned child. You’ll offer to take him in until the parents are located at the very least, probably indefinitely, like with Jungkook and Yoongi. You’ll take Hoseok shopping and figure out sleeping arrangements and consider accepting that job that will take you across town and maybe even force you to move house altogether, but will ultimately pay more money, which you certainly need. However, tonight you will take the kid home and get him showered and comfortable enough to wear Seokjin's pajamas and tuck him in with the other boys when they pile up in the living room for their birthday sleepover. With the way Namjoon has already taken to the kid (no surprise there) and Seokjin has started fussing, you know there will be few problems getting him settled into your family.

06, 07

[tiesandtea]

Simon Gilbert

Simon Says

We interviewed Simon Gilbert, Suede’s drummer, whose book So Young: Suede 1991-1993 is a journal and photographic document of the band’s early years that will be published October 8th. So Young has foreword by journalist Stuart Maconie and a vibrant, lively text by Simon himself, documenting his move from Stratford-on-Avon, his hometown, to London, the audition with Suede, life in the van, the early success years and the many amusing things that come with it. It is one of those rare books that make an outsider feel like they were there, in the van. Or in absurd mansions in L.A. belonging to industry types. Or was it record producer(s)?…

The conversation extended to Coming Up, Suede’s third album that turned 25 this year and drumming. Simon’s witty, often, one-liners contrast with my more elaborate questions, proving an interesting insight into our way of writing/replying.

by Raquel Pinheiro

So Young: Suede 1991-1993

What made you want to realease So Young?

I was searching through my archives when researching for the insatiable ones movies and found lots of old negatives and my diaries. They had to be seen.

When and why did you start your Suede archives?

As you can see from the book, it stared from the very first audition day.

From the concept idea to publishing how long did it took you to put So Young together?

30 years … I’ve always wanted to make a book since I was first in a band.

What was your selection process for which items – diary entries, photos, etc.- would be part of the book?

I wanted to form a story visually with a few bits of info thrown in here and there, also most of the photos tie in with pages from the diaries.

Which methods, storage, preservation, maintenance, if at all, do you employ to keep the various materials in your archives in good shape?

Boxes in an attic … one thing about getting the book out is that I don’t have to worry about the photos getting lost forever. It’s out there in a book!

Other than medium what differences existed between selecting material for The Insatiable Ones documentary and for So Young?

Video and photos … photos don’t translate well on a TV screen.

Do you prefer still or motion pictures and why?

I prefer photos … they capture a particular moment in time … as video does, but there’s a unique atmosphere with a photo.

So Young’s cover photo has a very Caravaggio and ballet feeling to it. Its chiaroscuro also contrasts with the images inside.  Why did you choose it for the cover?

It was a striking shot and I wanted the book to be black and dark …it fitted perfectly.

How many of the photos on So Young were taken by you?

Probably about 3/4 my 3 school friends who were there with me at the beginning Iain, Kathy and Phillip took a load of us onstage, backstage, after  the gig, etc., photos I couldn’t take myself.

So Young can be placed alongside books like Henry Rollins’ Get in The Van and Michael Azerrad’s Our Band Could Be Your Life, that not only chronicle and show the less glamorous, more mundane side of being in a band, but also totally immerse the reader so deep in it that we are there, feeling and going through the same things. Was your selection of materials meant to convey that “band being your(our) life” sensation?

Yes, exactly that. I was fascinated by photos of bands, not on the front cover of a magazine or on TV. The other bits of being in a band are far more interesting.

In the foreword, Stuart Maconie mentions the brevity of your diary entries which, as someone who keeps diaries, I immediately noticed. Do you prefer to tell and record a story and events with images?

I haven’t kept a diary since the end of 1993 … looking back on them they can be a bit cringeful … So, yes, I prefer images.

Contrasting with the diary entries brevity your text  that accompanies So Young is lively, witty, detailed and a good description of the struggles of a coming of age, heading towards success, band. Do you think the text and images reveal too much into what it really is like being in a band, destroying the myth a bit?

I think the myth of being in a band is long gone … Reality is the new myth…

In So Young you write that when you first heard Never Mind The Bollocks by The Sex Pistols music was to be your “future dream”. How has the dream been so far?

Still dreaming … lose your dreams and you will lose your mind … like Jagger said.

Is there a reason why So Young only runs from 1991 to 1993?

Yes, I bought a video camera in 1993. It was so much easier filming everything rather than take a photo, wait 3 weeks to get it developed and find out it was blurred.

So Young has a limited deluxe numbered and signed edition already sold out. The non deluxe edition also seems to be heading the same way. How important is it for you to keep a close relationship with the fans?

So important. I love interacting with the fans and is so easy these days … I had to write replies by hand and post them out in 1993…

Playing Live Again & Coming Up

Before Suede’s concert at Qstock Festival in Oulu, Finland on 31.07.2021 you wrote on your social media “cant fucking wait dosnt come close!!!!!” and Mat [Osman, Suede’s bassist] on his “An honest-to-goodness rehearsal for an honest-to-goodness show. Finally”. How did it feel like going back to play live?

It was great. Heathrow was empty which was amazing. A bit strange to play for the first time after 2 years …., but great to get out again.

Coming Up was released 25 years ago. How does the record sound and seems to you now compared with by then?

I haven’t listened to it for a long time actually … love playing that album live … some great drumming.

Before the release of Coming Up fans and the press were wondering if Suede would be able to pull it off. What was your reaction when you first heard the new songs and realize the album was going in quite a different direction than Dog Man Star?

Far too long ago to remember.

Coming Up become a classic album. It even has its own Classical Albums documentary. Could you see the album becoming a classic by then?

I think so yes .. there was always something to me very special about that album.

Is it different to play Coming Up songs after Suede’s return? Is there a special approach to concerts in which a single album is played?

No … didn’t even need to listen to the songs before we first rehearsed … They’re lodged in my brain.

Which is your Coming Up era favourite song as a listener and which one do you prefer as a drummer?

The Chemistry Between Us.

Will the Coming Up shows consist only of the album or will B-sides be played as well?

Definitely some B-sides and some other stuff too.

Simon & Drumming

If you weren’t a drummer how would your version of “being the bloke singing at the front” be like?

Damned awful … I auditioned as a singer once, before I started drumming … It was awful!

In his book Stephen Morris says that all it takes to be a drummer is a flat surface and know how to count. Do you agree?

No.

Then, what makes a good drummer?

Being in the right band.

Topper Headon of the Clash is one of your role models. Who are the others?

He is, yes … fantastic drummer.

Charlie Watts is the other great …and Rat Scabies … superb.

She opens with drums so does Introducing the band. Your drumming gives the band a distinctive sound. How integral to Suede’s sound are the drums?

Well, what can I say … VERY!

Do you prefer songs that are driven by the drums or songs in which the drums are more in the background?

Bit of both actually … I love in your face stuff like She, Filmstar …, but ikewise, playing softer stuff is very satisfying too.

You’re not a songwriter. How much freedom and input do you have regarding drum parts?

If the songs needs it, I’ll change it.

Do you prefer blankets, towels or a pillow inside the bass drum?

Pillows.

Do you use gaffer tape when recording? If so, just on the snare drum or also on the toms? What about live?

Lots of the stuff … gaffer tape has been my friend both live and in the studio for 30 years.

What is the depth of your standard snare drum and why?

Just got a lovely 7-inch Bog wood snare from Repercussion Drums … sounds amazing. It is a 5000 year old Bog wood snare.

Standard, mallets, rods or brushes?

Standard. I hate mallets and rods are always breaking after one song. Brushes are the worst …no control.

How many drum kits have you owned? Of those, which is your favourite?

5 … my fave is my DW purple.

How long to you manage without playing? Do you play air drums?

7 years 2003 – 2010 … and never.

Can you still assemble and tune your drum kit?

Assemble, yes …tune no …have never been any good at that.

You dislike digital/electronic drum kits, but used one during the pandemic. Did you become more found of them?

Still hate them … unfortunately,  they are a necessary evil.

When you first joined Suede you replaced a drum machine. Would it be fair to say you didn’t mind taking its job?

Fuck him!

Brett [Anderson, Suede’s singer] as described the new album as “nasty, brutish and short”. How does that translates drums wise?

Very nasty brutish and short.

When researching for the interview I come across the statement below on a forum: “If you’re in a band and you’re thinking about how to go about this, get every player to come up with their own track list & have a listening party. I’ve done this, not only is it great fun, it’s also massively insightful when it comes to finding out what actually is going on inside the drummer’s head!”. What actually is going on inside the drummer’s head?

Where’s my fucking lighter!

And what is going on inside the drummer as a documentarist head? How does Simon, the drummer, differs from Simon, the keen observer of his own band, bandmates, fans, himself, etc.?

There is no difference … I’m Simon here there and everywhere…

What would the 16 years old Simon who come to London think of current Simon? What advice would you give to your younger self?

Don’t smoke so much you fool!

[animereaderinsertwriter]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered (Levi x Reader)

Chapter 3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (im watching you, if you see this, begone!), MILD SPOILERS, also this is a sequel, the first work is here. (I promise it's good, the formatting of the original post is just a little plain cause I hadn't figured out what I liked yet). There's some... stuff in this, idk, its nothing much but check the description or ao3 tags if you're not sure of how you feel about dads who are Assholes, lots of angst because yours truly is a masochist :)

Description:

Levi returns from the war with a broken body only to have his heart broken as well when he finds (Y/N) has gone away from her father's farm never to return or so much as remember his name- or so her father says. (Y/N), recently returned from a medical emergency in a neighboring village, is informed of her lover's death, and the ensuing grief is almost too much to bear.

Months later, (Y/N) finds herself trapped in her father's house, and Levi finds a very interesting ad in the personals column of the newspaper. Letter-writing shenanigans ensue, and Gabi and Falco get ideas.

Ao3 link here

Chapter 3

For nearly a week, Levi was absolutely miserable.

He regretted sending his letter to (Y/N)'s father almost immediately after he dropped it off with the postal worker. What had he been thinking, trying to buy a woman who didn't want him? At this rate, he was no better than her father and the patriarchal bullshit he represented! (Y/N) was her own woman, always had been, and for him to imagine that she could be bought and sold— it was against everything Levi had ever known and loved about her. It felt like sacrilege.

And yet, when he received a letter with her return address at the top a few days later, he opened it as eagerly as Gabi and Falco opened treats from the marketplace.

What's this? he thought, furrowing his brows at the scratched-out words of the greeting line of the letter. It almost looks like— is that her handwriting?

The letter was indeed penned in (Y/N)'s hand, and Levi read it through, careful not to miss even the smallest detail. It read:

"Dear scuzzball,

Rich Bastard

Inbred yuppie scum

Fellow citizen,

My father thought it prudent to 'cut out the middleman,' as it were and give me your address to write you directly. I'm not sure I agree with his decision, but I am hardly in a position to argue, so here I am, writing to you as Miss (Y/N), former Survey Corps Medic of the 84th division.

Now that my introduction is out of the way, I fear that I must cut to the chase lest I be named a tease; I hear that you're fantastically rich. If this is true, you must lead a pleasant life, and can therefore draw what conclusions you will about my own. After all, imagining the world to be the way one wishes and believing it to be reality is a common pastime for wealthy men such as yourself— I'm sure you're more than accustomed to it. However, on the other side of the coin, I am not rich enough to draw such conclusions, and you included precious little about yourself in your letter to my father. My good sir, I insist that you give me at least your name at once, or I shall be entirely put-off.

Dutifully,

(Y/N)."

Levi read the letter through once more to be sure he wasn't dreaming, then again to truly understand the words that had been written on the page. Then, out of curiosity, he read it a fourth time, this time counting and skipping and exchanging the letters of each word in the same manner he would have if he were checking for a coded message— the kind he and (Y/N) had often exchanged when there had been a need for discretion. To his equal consternation and delight, he found a message hidden there between the words for him.

"Fuck off, mouth-breather" it read once it had been deciphered. "I've no interest in you or your kind— go pick your nose elsewhere."

It was strange— (Y/N) had no reason to use their code at all. It was known only to the two of them, and in her mind, whoever she was writing to would never realistically be able to decipher such a complex system with no prior knowledge of it. Additionally, Levi doubted that she would have recognized him in the letter he'd sent her father through his writing voice or his penmanship, since he had been quite another self at the time of writing it, and his handwriting had changed drastically when he'd been forced to relearn to write with his left hand. So why had she done it? Was it for spite, knowing that her father might read the letter before it was sent? Or was it her idea of playing a little joke on some unsuspecting schmuck who expressed interest in her?

If Levi had ever known (Y/N), the latter seemed unlikely. It made more sense for her to be embittered by having the element of control taken away from her, but then that begged the question— had she agreed to the newspaper advertisement and had simply decided that this 'rich man from the country' persona was not for her? Or was she an unwilling participant in all of this from the start?

It all made Levi's head ache. Above all things, he was a man of action; if he wanted to know something, he figured he'd be just as well off by asking after it than sitting and stewing over it.

He picked up a pen and began to write.

"To (Y/N),

It pleases me to hear from you directly. You will find that I am indeed, as you said, fantastically wealthy, though I would not say that is my most defining characteristic. In fact, I am a man of many interests, not least among them you; I would hear more of your time in the noble Corps and of your exploits as a medic. I find such adventure fascinating, and wish that you were more free to speak of the life you lead.

But, being that it is clear you have no wish to discuss your own personal matters, I digress. Instead, I wish to tell you more of what you do not know and have not guessed.

I'm a man of simple pleasures. I reside in a little cottage out in the countryside— one I built with my own hands and modeled after someone else's taste. Nearby, there is a flowing stream where I fish from time to time. It's lovely, and with my two companions, I'm hardly ever lonely. Of course, as I told your father, I have more than enough money to build for us a mansion, should you wish it, but I am enamored of this quiet, peaceful life.

My apologies— at present, I cannot write more. I have business that needs to be tended to forthwith. It was a pleasure hearing from you, and I hope to hear from you again soon.

Yours,

A man from the countryside"

Levi reread the letter, and saw that it fit his needs well enough. Within it, he had left his own coded message as well, and he wasn't sure if he wanted (Y/N) to find it or if he would rather rip the letter to shreds than to even entertain the possibility of it.

The coded message read as follows.

"It took a while for me to break the cypher you used while writing your previous letter, but I must say that achieving the end result was as intriguing as it was difficult. I fear I must offer apologies, since it seems that I have offended you, but there are some things I wish you to know.

Firstly, I had no intention of offering you insult. That was furthest from my mind. If you wish to stop conversing, simply do not reply, and I will cease all communication.

Secondly, in your letter, you ask for my name. I cannot give it, because it is no longer mine. It belongs to something greater than myself, and I would want you to know me for myself, not for what I represent.

Thirdly— and finally— your insults are weak. They lack conviction. Try again, and do a little better next time if you'd like to hurt my feelings."

Satisfied, Levi signed the document with his current nom de plume, sealed it in an envelope, and set out to deliver it to the post office.

I'm going mad, thought Levi as a wild, raging hunger for more filled his chest. Even now, knowing she hates me as a stranger as much as she must hate my own self, I can't get enough.

***

(Y/N) couldn't believe her eyes. As she held the letter, she was shaking.

How? she wondered, sitting back in her chair, unable to comprehend what she was seeing. How did he— no one else in the world knew that code, it's so stupidly fucking complex that no one could—

But they could, obviously, because this man who wrote in a hand so unlike her old lover's— and with words so unlike his— had not only read through her desperate attempt at disobedience, but had responded in kind! He must be a prodigy, a genius— (Y/N) couldn't imagine the intellectual prowess necessary to decode her message so quickly without even the slightest hint at how it was structured. It was unthinkable.

However unthinkable it was, though, it wasn't half so impressive— or half so terrifying— as the way he had perceived her. This man had done much more than see the words she meant past the words that she'd written— it felt as though he had seen through to the core of who she was. It was as though he had known her. She felt so exposed; it was frightening.

And yet… there was something undeniably familiar about the way he spoke of himself, specifically of his name: 'I cannot give it, because it is no longer mine,' he'd written. 'It belongs to something greater than myself, and I would want you to know me for myself, not for what I represent.' (Y/N) wished she couldn't draw the connection, but she could. In that one line, this man from the countryside had sounded exactly like Levi might have in his position.

There was more— a cottage by a stream? A cottage built by hand? Modeled after someone else's taste? Whose taste?

Should she ask?

Why would she want to ask?

Was she finally going mad from grief, or were there real similarities between Levi and this stranger?

Feeling a strange sort of detachment, she looked at the last decoded line of the stranger's letter and felt a pang of guilt.

He didn't quite deserve the things I said, she thought glumly, picking up a pen to write a response. If nothing else, I really must write him and apologize.

"Mr. Countryman," she wrote, for lack of a better way to address him. "If it is adventure you would like to hear of, then I shall oblige you more than willingly. From my days in medical school alone, I can think of a dozen stories from which I think you will derive great pleasure…"

The rest was all drivel and nonsense— truthful drivel and nonsense, but that was beside the point. Within the stories she told was an interwoven apology… an olive branch.

"I have been unfair to you," her coded message read. "Allow me to apologize; I have been so far removed from civilized company that I hardly remember that there are people who are undeserving of my ire. My heart is recently broken, you see, and my soul tormented— it is not an excuse, but it is a reason, and I beg that you take it into consideration when you think of my earlier incivility. If you wish to continue to write, you may, for I fear I will die of loneliness here."

In the end, (Y/N) had written more than she intended to, but talking to this man felt… safe. By the end of her letter, she found that what she had said was entirely true. She wanted this man— this clever stranger who was smart enough to break her code and polite enough to respect her wishes— to continue writing to her. She truly had been so long without company… was it so terribly wrong to desire companionship until she found a way out of this blasted cage of a house?

***

Levi received another letter much sooner than he had the first, and was shocked to find an apology coded into it. Hungry for information, he dived into the coded message, and was further shocked by what else he found.

"Heartbreak," he murmured, squinting at the letter as though it would give him the answers he sought. "What would you know of heartbreak, bright-eyes?"

After all, he did wonder— had there been someone else?

Well, Levi supposed it hardly mattered now. Now there was no one, and (Y/N) was hurting as he had been hurt. As much as he would have liked to, he could take no satisfaction in it; he only wished he knew how best to mend the ache of it in her heart.

In reply, he wrote to her expressing his interest in the stories she'd provided— stories he knew to be true from hearing them from before— and a desire to share his own stories with her eventually. Coded, of course, was his actual reply:

"I know well the sting of heartbreak. It's shitty— having had my heart broken recently as well, I would know more than most how you're feeling. Still, I'm sorry you weren't spared the pain of it. Whoever hurt you must have been a fool— given the chance to have you, I wouldn't let you go so easily. I can tell that you're the kind of woman a man finds only once in a lifetime."

More of the truth— more of Levi— made it into the message than he had intended, but he was already tired of pretending to be a pretentious prat who cared whether or not he used contractions and complex sentences. He wanted more than that from this. He wanted something real.

***

"I measure every Grief I meet

With narrow, probing, eyes –

I wonder if It weighs like Mine –

Or has an Easier size."

~Emily Dickinson (I measure every Grief I meet)

[sapphire374]

Soy Sol: Chapter 5 (Lighting Up in a Rainy Town)

Wattpad Link

Ch. 1 / Ch.2 / Ch.3 / Ch.4 / Ch.6 / Ch.7 / Ch.8 / Ch.9 / Ch.10 / Ch.11 / Ch.12 / Ch.13 / Ch.14 / Ch.15 / Ch.16 / Ch.17

Luna and Matteo stunned by the announcement stare at each other with worry and unease. “What do you mean the Jam and Roller is shutting down?!” Luna blurted out right before Simón and Ámbar came rushing in. “Ok I think this is all a misunderstanding everybody. You see the Jam and Roller isn’t shutting down, here’s just a…. guy who does finances and is just checking up on the place. I think what he meant to say was that the Jam and Roller will shut down if nothing is kept in order with the payments, which it obviously has been cause I have my binder with all the receipts in them. So, no need to panic alright; everything is ok,” Ámbar announced to the gang pulling the man with the suit, who now has a confused expression on his face.

A wave of uncertainty is felt in the room. “Luna I’m worried this doesn’t add up right. The guy never mentioned any of those reasons. He said he came to do the final paperwork cause the Jam and Roller is closing,” Nina whispered to Luna. “You’re right Nina, this doesn’t add up. I think it’s time for Watson and Holmes to get on the case.” Luna and Nina each give each other a smirk cause the dynamic duo is back into investigating on a new mystery.

Matteo grabs Luna’s hand, takes her away from Nina, and pulls her out the door. “Where are you taking me, Chico Fresa?” Luna asked curiously. “Remember I told you I had a surprise. Well, it’s in the car.” Matteo and Luna walk to his car and stop at the Black Lamborghini in the parking lot. He opens the trunk and reveals a pair of shiny new skates. The pair is glittery pink and are laid on top of their box. Luna gasped at the thoughtful present Matteo displayed to her. “Matteo I... I…. I LOVE IT,” Luna exclaimed before running up to Matteo and giving him a bear hug. “And that’s not even the best part. The wheels light up. I purposely got this cause your Luna and Sol. Eres la luna y brillas como el sol. You’re Luna (Moon) and you shine like the sun. So, whenever you roller skate, the glitter will shimmer while the wheels light up just like you. Te quiero Chica delivery. I love you,” Matteo professed to Luna. Luna was in awe of Matteo’s gift and how he still remembers the exact same words he told her right before he kissed her at the Sky Concert. As tears were slowly falling on her cheek, she gave another hug to Matteo right before he kissed her.

Ámbar flips through the multitude of pages in her binder as the guy in a suit looks at her with a stern look in his face. “Sorry sir but are you sure we can’t wait any longer. Maybe we can still negotiate a deal with Vidia.” The guy immediately shakes his head and states, “I’m sorry but that’s not possible. Vidia doesn’t want to be a part of the Jam and Roller anymore, they have other ideas in mind for the future and those ideas do not include this place.” Simón holds Ámbar’s hand when he notices her teary eyed as she puts her other hand over her face in disbelief. “Look I’m sorry Ms. Smith but the deal is done. The Jam and Roller is now in the market to be purchased,” the guy responds to Ámbar. She swiftly looks up. “Mr. Tobias, What do you mean the Jam and Roller is up for sale? I thought Mr. Trabeck was going to buy it to turn it into a club and bar. Also, you can call me Mrs. Álvarez from now on.” Simón and Ámbar glance and give a smile to each other.

Mr. Tobias thinks for a second and replies, “Mr. Trabeck pulled out his offer and decided not to purchase this place so it’s currently up for sale.” Ámbar and Simón immediately look at each other with hope in their eyes. Yeah, the Jam and Roller is being sold but maybe, just maybe, the owner can preserve its originality and keep it the way it is.

Luna dashes inside with her new roller skates in hand. Nina notices and approaches her. “Luna are those new skates? They look beautiful!” Nina compliments. “Thank you, Nina. Matteo bought them for me! I’m so happy right now. He got me specific ones just for me and the words that he told me inside reassured my trust for him. I love him and he loves me. Ooh I can’t wait to try them on. I’m planning to head to the rink right now and skate in them so I can easily break them in and get well acclimated,” Luna stated to Nina with exhilaration in her voice. “Alright than I’ll leave you to it. See you later Luna. It’s getting late and I want to go home quickly so I can read the book that’s been waiting for me!” Nina gives Luna a hug and heads towards the exit as Luna runs to the rink with her new pair of roller skates in hand.

“Jim, I think we should go back to school so we can finish packing up our things to bring them back to our apartment,” Yam said to Jim. “Really…. Can we please stay a little while cause I’ve been dying to skate.” Yam shook her head in response to Jim and replied, “We shouldn’t, the quicker we get it done the quicker we can come back to roller skate tomorrow.” Jim nodded in agreement. “I can drive you guys back since I’m also going to head out,” Ramiro stated. The three amigos (friends) headed out the door.

As Matteo closes the trunk of his car, he notices at the corner of his eye Gastón walking towards him. “Hola Matteo. Wow nice car, didn’t know my buddy was already going to spend some of the cash he earned from his big sold-out tour.” Matteo laughed at Gastón’s compliment. “Originally I wasn’t planning on it, but I decided to treat myself after seeing how huge of a success the tour became to be,” Matteo boasted with excitement on his face. “Makes since, you totally deserve it.” Gastón than showed a worried look on his face. “Que te pasa? What’s the matter,” Matteo asked. “The thing is Nina got a call from Eric today. She’s planning to meet up with him tomorrow morning. She said they’re only friends, but I know Eric. He’s probably still heartbroken that Nina broke up with him. What if he tries to get her back? What if he's still not over her and tries to steal her away from me? This is not good! I should’ve told Nina that was a bad idea for her to agree to have a meeting with Eric,” Gastón pondered right before freaking out.

Matteo looked at his distraught friend. “Don’t worry too much about it. Remember Nina broke up with Eric because she didn’t have feelings for him in the first place. She’s always been in love with you. If your still super worried about her than… maybe… spy on them. See how the date goes,” Matteo suggests. “Spy on them? Heck no I’m not going to do that. What if she catches me,” Gastón immediately rejecting the idea. “If you do it right, she won’t find out. I once spied on Luna when she did that music video for Sebastian Villalobos and she never caught me. Trust me bro you’ll be fine.” Matteo’s advice calmed Gastón down as he contemplated on whether or not he should spy on Nina.

The phone in Matteo’s pocket starts ringing. Matteo picks it up. “Yes hello…. Oh hi Viviana…. Yeah I’m a little busy does it have to be right now…. Alright fine I’m on my way.” Matteo hangs up the phone and says goodbye to Gastón. “It seems like I have to go. Viviana apparently needs help with this song. I can’t reveal much other than the fact that she wants to release a collaboration soon. Rafael thinks it’s a great idea, so I have to help her,” Matteo revealed to Gaston. “Like I said before, I think Viviana is bad news and you should try to stay away from her as much as possible. I understand that your manager keeps pushing for you too to hang out more frequently but don’t trust her,” Gaston advised Matteo. “It’s ok. She means no harm and I only see her as a friend. Plus, now that my tour is over, I can finally hang out more with Luna.” Nina comes running to Gaston. “I’m ready mi amor.” Gastón and Nina say goodbye to Matteo as they all head to their cars and leave the parking lot.

Simón enters the rink and sees Luna skating with light up, shimmery roller skates. “Hola Luna! Love the skates. They finally glow just like you,” Simón cheered to Luna. She skates towards Simón and gives him a hug. “Oh, Simón I am just so in love with these skates! I won’t lie I still prefer my other ones, the pink and orange ones since I have so many memories with those, but I don’t know these new ones give me hope. Maybe someday the Roller team can get back together. I know we’re all very busy but who knows! It is the summer, and anything can happen,” Luna bubbled to Simón. Simón scratches his head and swallows hard. He feels bad keeping a very important secret from Luna but doesn’t want to break her heart. He knows how much the place means to her and doesn’t want to bring her down. “You never know Luna. Maybe Juliana comes back, or maybe when we have time, we can enter a competition,” Simòn swallows hard. “Oooh that would be incredible Simón. Truly a dream come true, but I guess I have to wait to see everyone’s decision, but I will propose it to them. Hopefully they say yes,” Luna gushed. “You never know.”

Pedro comes walking in with Delfi. “Simón, it’s getting late and me and Delfi are really tired. We just came back to say goodnight and don’t forget to lock up,” Pedro reminded Simón. “Yes of course Pedro. Buenas noches! Goodnight,” Simón replied. Everybody told each other goodnight and left the rink. Simón heads over to Ámbar in the cafeteria while Luna heads to the lockers to grab her stuff.

Simón sits down over to where Ámbar’s table is at and talk about the Jam and Roller. “Mi amor I don’t know whether to feel hopeful or worried that the Jam and Roller is for sale on the market. What if someone buys it to only remodel the place and get rid of the rink? Keeping this secret is just too much for me knowing how much this place means to all of our friends.” Ámbar holds Simón’s hand after admitting what’s been worrying her. “I know exactly how you feel but hopefully someone does buy it to keep it the way it is and don’t shut this place down. We just need to keep having hope and faith alright.” Simón caresses Ámbar’s face and hugs her as she lays her head on his shoulders. Little did they know Nina had entered and overheard their conversation.

Nina secretly sprints to the lockers to get her journal and sees Luna there. “Luna you would not believe what I just heard. So Simón and Ámbar were talking and apparently the Jam and Roller is up for sale and they may shut it down!” A terrified look is plastered on Luna’s face hearing Nina’s big news.

[rat-father]

Part 6! FLUFF

No angst, just wholesome.

This one is a bit longer then the others. I wrote 2k words instead of the usual 1.3k

I was just really in a fluffy mood so it's kind of like a treat

Again, I didn't proofread so if you see mistakes then shhh

Tagging; @skunkandgrenade

-- tw;; it as pronoun, pet whump/captivity --

For Cub it was like master never disappeared in the first place, it just went back to its normal self no questions asked. For the others it wasn’t as easy.

Xanzi got some bad wounds that needed bandaging which made it hard to do mundane tasks at time, while Lexi tried her best to treat them. Lo went back to his own place while still being a bit upset with him.

The pet did stay a lot closer to master then before, and always tried to give a helping  hand. It was also allowed to sleep in his room for a couple days. If anything it was like its bond with him grew closer. And because of that he wanted to take it somewhere new, to the city! He bought a new harness for it knowing it would be busy as always, even on a quiet day.

“Are you excited?” Master asked, already knowing the answer.

It nodded it’s head with joy. It was allowed to go to the city for the first time! Master made sure it was well hydrated and wearing warm enough clothes before they left. It was gonna be just the two of them, they had the entire day for themselves. I also got to wear a new harness and leash which it thought looked  really pretty.

It even enjoyed the ride to the city. It stared out of the windows the entire way.

Xanzi felt bad for the pet to an extend, it had never even seen a city before, or any public place. But then again he didn’t care much, it was a great opportunity to bond with his pet and make it trust him even more, if that was even possible.

The parking lot what surprisingly empty, usually it was filled to the brim but today Xanzi managed to find a spot quite fast. He could see his pet already getting more excited in the corner of his eye.

“Alright, we’re here. I brought water so if ya get thirsty just tell me okay?”

“Yes master!”

“Good. If ya behave well we can go here more often.”

It started practically jumping in its seat, eager to go out and explore. Master stepped out first and took opened the door for it after. He clipped the leash on its harness and they started heading towards the city.

There were still quite a few people around which made it a bit anxious, so it stayed close to master and made sure to check if he was still there every now and then. After a bit of walking it saw a cute little shop selling tons of plushies and stuffed animals. It really wanted to go see it and dragged master along to it.

The walls were pastel yellow on the inside with relaxing music playing through speakers. It immediately went over to the sections with stuffed animals and looked at all of them with amazement. Some of them had pretty pinks, greens and purple mixed in with their fur and were glittery!

A pink narwhal caught its attention, it was big and fluffy and master said it was allowed to have it. It held the narwhal in its arms as it continued looking around the store.

Aside from plushies and stuffed animals, the store also sold clothing. The pet knew it didn’t need new clothing, but a frog hat really intrigued it and it just couldn’t help itself. Everything there was so pretty and it could stay there for hours, but it also wanted to explore more of the city. Master paid for everything and they continued down the city, narwhal in hand and frog hat on.

There were street performers playing outside and Cub wanted to listen for a bit. Of course it never had heard music before so it was very amazed at the songs they were playing. When they were done Xanzi gave them 20 euros before the pet dragged them further.

It stopped in front of a pet shop, it seemed a bit unsure, but hesitantly went inside. At first it walked slowly, until it saw it the toy section which it basically darted to, almost making Xanzi fall out of shock. With its free hand it held up a small mushroom chew toy in front of his face.

“Ya want that one bud?”

“Yes please, master.”

He faked thinking about it for a second. “Alright, I guess you can have it.”

It smiled as they walked up to the cash register to pay. The cashier lady was nice and complimented the pet on how cute it looked as master paid.

It couldn’t wait to see more of the city, everything looked beautiful and the weather was perfect for a walk. Sometimes it would just stop and admire some of the trees or buildings, which master thought was just adorable. He couldn’t help but wonder whether all pets were like this, or if it was just his pet that was this curious.

Cub lightly tugged on master’s sleeve trying to get his attention.

“Hm? What is it pet?”

“It is hungry, can it have food please, master?”

“We can stop at a cafe and get some food there if you want.”

It frowned, looking confused. “What is a cafe, master?”

It didn’t know what a cafe was, of course.

“It’s a place where you can get food and drinks. You’ll see.”

Xanzi knew the city by heart, he lived there for most of his life before buying his mansion. There were tons of cafes nearby. They went to the one that was the most quiet, he didn’t want his pet to get overwhelmed.

In the cafe the pet got a lot of weird stares, pets were a common thing, just not often seen outside. Or in good condition.

Master ordered it a slice of cake and cola, with coffee for himself.

It didn’t take it long to finish its cake, it was starving and it tasted really good. But it waited a bit before drinking the cola, it didn’t understand why there were bubbles going up. Master told it to just try it, that it wasn’t something to worry about. The taste was, odd, but it liked it.

Master suggested they’d go to the nearby art shop too. He thought it might like drawing or painting. It didn’t know what drawing or painting was, but if master said it was fun then it must be fun.

The art shop was significantly bigger then the other stores, it was also packed with all kinds of stuff. The pet wasn’t sure where to look first, this was all new to it. It look at its master, hoping for some directions. Luckily he got the sign and directed it towards a shelf with different types of sketchbooks. They all had things written on them but it couldn’t read. Master picked one out for it and handed it to them. It had a nice yellow cover with a cat on it.

”Do you like this one?”

“Yes master. It’s very pretty.”

Master also showed it some colored pencils, he said it could use them to draw anything it wanted in the book. It still didn’t quite understand but it sounded like fun.

The store also had an upstairs area with big white blocks, master called them canvases. Apparently people painted stuff on them with brushes and different types of paint. It all sounded confusing and complicated.

When they were done there he took it to a book store. He wanted to teach it how to read and needed some books for it.

It didn’t like the book store very much, it felt like there were endless amounts of books everywhere it looked. It was too overwhelming. It held onto master’s arm with one hand and hugged its narwhal plushie with the other.

Master didn’t take long to find what he needed so they weren’t in there for too long.

“Master? Its feet are starting to hurt.”

”Let’s head back home then, I’m also getting kinda tired.”

Master held its hand as they made their way back to the car. It had a big smile on its face, master rarely held its hand, it loved it when he did.

The walk back made its feet hurt even more, but they stopped to get ice cream which made it easier to deal with. Ice cream had always been its favorite.

The drive home was very relaxing to Cub, it had spend all its energy in the city and now it could just sit and watch the sky while cuddling with the narwhal.

Master didn’t talk to it while driving which it was fine with. The soft music playing from the radio made it even better.

It didn’t notice it had fallen asleep until it felt the car stop moving.

“Ya took a nice nap?”

Oh no. It slept without permission. Was master mad?

“Sorry master. It didn’t mean to.”

”It’s fine dear,” he gave it a polite chuckle. “You can sleep whenever you want. I don’t mind, understood?”

“Yes master, thank you.”

He took it out of the car and walked it back to the mansion. It hurried off to its room to put its new plushie and toy away. It was excited to try this ‘drawing’ thing out with master.

It came back downstairs with the sketchbook and colored pencils in hand. Lexi cleared some room on the table for it so it could dump the pencils out of the box. It opened the sketchbook and, felt a bit lost. Where was it supposed to start?

”Just make some lines, whatever you want. There’s no right or wrong.” Master reassured it.

It picked up a purple pencil and went for it. The paper felt smooth each stroke it made, it was a nice feeling. It wasn’t entirely sure what is was drawing at first, but it was drawing it! Next it took a blue pencil and continued scribbling on the paper. It then set the pencils down and held the sketchbook up to master sitting in front of it.

”Master, look! I drew narwhal!” It had a proud smile on its face.

“Wow, that looks amazing! You’re a really great artist.”

He was lying, of course, but it didn’t matter if it look good anyway, the pet was having fun, and that’s what was important.

It giggled and continued scribbling with other colors on the next page. He was right to assume drawing was something it would like. It never got the chance to be a child, so he would give it to them.

Lexi joined them after an hour of the pet drawing various things on the white pages.

“You guys are having fun drawing I see.”

The pet silently nodded, not taking its eyes off the drawing it was working on. It was drawing the mansion, but with all types of colors.

It finished it and showed it to both master and the maid who said they loved it.

Eventually it was time for dinner and Cub had to stop drawing, it didn’t want to stop, but it didn’t want to be a bad pet either.

Master said it could continue drawing after it was done with dinner. It was looking forward to it.

Bonus;

It wasn’t long before Cub became obsessed with art, drawing specifically. It really enjoyed scribbling in its sketchbook and then showing it to its master with a proud smile. And like any good master would do, he put its best drawings on the fridge. 

[danganronpa-imagines-ftw]

What birthday presents Mahiru, Mikan and Hiyoko would give to their S/O ?

I can do that, sure.

I would say happy birthday, but considering you submitted this a months ago, it’s probably too late already, huh...

Happy belated birthday anyway haha

(Also sorry if the presents themselves are repetitive, it’s hard to come up with ideas when I don’t know you and your interests...)

Mahiru, Mikan, and Hiyoko Giving Their S/O A Birthday Present

Mahiru Koizumi

-It’s fairly obvious that it’d have something to do with photography

-You two had been together for quite some time at this point

-So, as such, she had collected a fair amount of pictures of you, plus the two of you together

-She printed out a lot of said pictures, and made a sort of scrapbook out of it

-Pages and pages of many things, like that picture of you asleep on your desk at school, or the one of you making a snowman, or the one of visiting your favorite coffee shop

-The list goes on and on

-The day comes, and she nervously invites you into her dorm room

-You could tell by her nervous demeanor, and the fact that it was your birthday, that she had a surprise for you

-She gave you the scrapbook, and watched your eyes light up as you flipped through the pages

-Near the end, though, you noticed there were a good ten or so blank pages

-Confused, you kept flipping through the empty pages, until you reached the end

-As you opened up the page, two small slips of paper flew out, and, written on that page were the words “So many more memories to make with you” written in neat and cursive handwriting

-Picking up the papers from the ground, your eyes widened in surprise

-”I remember you mentioned a long time ago that you had always wanted to take a vacation to (dream vacation location), so I bought us plan tickets and a hotel to stay there for a week...”

-She was honestly so nervous, she couldn’t even meet your eye

-But she jumped in shock when you flew your arms around her shoulders

-”It’s perfect.”

Mikan Tsumiki:

-Nervous girl

-Lord help her

-Puts it off for weeks, since she’s so worried that you won’t like whatever she gets you

-But as the day approaches, she knows that she has to do something

-After much thought, and a little advice from Ibuki, she makes up her mind on what to get you

-You unlock the door to her dorm room using the spare key she gave you, and were immediately surprised at seeing Mikan holding a bouquet of some of your favorite flowers, holding it out to you and looking towards the ground bashfully

-”Here!” She practically squeaks out, before pushing the flowers into your chest

-You take a moment to admire them, before turning back to face Mikan, still too nervous to look at you

-”Mikan, what’s this for?”

-”I-It’s... for your birthday...” She says quietly. Her nerves seem to calm slightly at the sound of your voice, and she shyly takes you by the hand to lead you to the dining room

-The first thing you noticed was the cake. It was beautifully made, and smelled wonderful

-”I-I got it done at the bakery nearby... i-it’s even your favorite flavor...”

-You licked your lips with appetite, staring down the cake silently

-Finally drawing your attention away from the cake, you looked around the room

-Streamers and confetti plastered the countertop and floor. It felt almost like a children’s birthday party, but it was cute nonetheless

-Hearing a small and cute “Ahem” from behind you, you turn to see what your darling girlfriend wanted to say

-”I... uh... I-I also got us a reservation for that f-fancy restaurant downtown that you love...”

-”You... you did? Mikan, that places is so expensive? How on Earth did you get tickets there?”

-”I’ve... been saving up for a wh-while now... I wanted to give you the best birthday I could... but I wasn’t sure what to get you until now...”

-Shocked by your girlfriend’s consideration, you ran up to her and gave her a bear hug, lifting her up off the ground a little as she squeaked in surprise

-“(Y-Y/N)?!”

-”You’re the best, Mikan!”

-She smiled, and relaxed into the hug

-”I l-love you too, (Y/N).”

Hiyoko Saionji:

-She’s screwed

-One of the few days out of the year where she has to drop her tsundere act and show genuine affection

-It’s a concept so foreign to her, so she was quite conflicted on what to do

-With much thought, she came up with an idea that she figured you would like

-You came home after a long day of schoolwork, and were a bit confused when you entered your dorm room to find Hiyoko missing

-She usually waited patiently on the couch for you to get home, so her absence was quite confusing

-Setting down your stuff, you noticed a note she seemed to have left on the kitchen countertop

-’Meet me at the amphitheater’

-Hiyoko’s handwriting, you recognized that immediantly

-You quickly got everything put away in its proper place, before heading out the door

-The amphitheater wasn’t far from the dorm buildings, and as you passed around the corner and saw the familiar building, memories came flooding back to you

-Every night before a big performance, you two would go out there in the evening, and you’d watch as she’d practice her routine

-It was always perfect of course, she is an ultimate after all, so you’d sit back and watch in admiration as she preformed flawlessly

-Arriving at the amphitheater, you took a seat in one of the empty seats, and waited patiently for something to happen

-In a minute or so, you saw the lights flicker on, and traditional Japanese music started playing

-You looked around a little, confused. To your surprise, though, nobody was around

-Finally, Hiyoko appeared on stage in a beautiful (and seemingly brand new0 pink kimono, and started a dance routine, one that you had never seen before

-You watched in awe as she gracefully swayed across the stage, beautiful and smooth movements drawing all your attention to her and her dance in that very moment

-Unfortunately, the performance had to come to an end eventually, as the music died down, and Hiyoko stood in the center of the stage, looking calm and content

-A few seconds later, the whole audience stood up and cheered and clapped for her

-And by audience, I mean you

-There wasn’t anyone this dance was meant for other than you, so she didn’t need a large audience at all

-She walked down the steps on the side of the stage, and ran to you to give you a hug

-”Hiyoko, that was amazing! Well, you’re always amazing anyway.”

-Unlike the usual, she had no snarky response to that, but only smiled bashfully at the praise

-“I... was working on it for weeks, I’m glad you liked it.”

-”Like it? Hiyoko, I loved it.”

-She smiled once again, before pulling something out of her kimono sash

-Reading the words printed on the paper, you gasped quietly and smiled in amazement

-”You got me tickets to go see (favorite band)? I thought they were all sold out?”

-She giggled cutely at that, “I have my ways.”

-Overflowing with love and joy, you picked her up and spun her in circles, laughter surrounding the two of you, alone in that moment

-You gave her a quick peck on the cheek, and set her down carefully

-”I love you Hiyoko.”

-She laughed softly, a pink tint dusting her cheeks

-”I love you too, dummy.”

[nakediconoclast]

About a certain livestock de-wormer...

Ivermectin

.

Before I even start this post, let me get the legal shit out of the way.I am not a doctor. I haven't even been to a doctor in over 5 years.I have no medical training except for maybe 100 hours of outdated first aid training when I was in the army 40 years ago and my First Sergeant needed a break from me.I am not a pharmacist, although back in the 1980s and 90s, I have dispensed dru..... Wait, I better leave that one alone.The point being, don't take my word for shit here. Do your own research. I'm going to refer to the drug as IM in this post because I don't want Google/Blogger taking my blog down or red-paging it for not toeing the party line. It is not my purpose to try to talk you into taking it any more than I'd try to talk you out of taking the vaccine if that's what you want to do. Your body, your choice.All I'm doing is making you aware of it if you haven't already checked it out, and to pass on my own experiences and thoughts. IM has been approved for use in humans, although it's more widely known as an parasitic medication for livestock.IM, sold under the brand name Stromectol among others, is a medication that is used to treat parasite infestations. In humans, this includes head lice, scabies, river blindness (onchocerciasis), strongyloidiasis, trichuriasis, ascariasis, and lymphatic filariasis. In veterinary medicine, it is used to prevent and treat heartworm and acariasis, among other indications. It can be taken by mouth or applied to the skin for external infestations.MORE Question: If it's already been proven safe for human use, why isn't there full speed ahead testing being done to see if it works for covid?Answer: Big Pharma. IM has been off patent for years and is dirt cheap. If it's found out to be effective for covid, guess who's profits are going to nosedive in that vaccine market? * Back a few weeks ago, a very good friend who shall remain nameless - fuck it, I'll out him, it was WiscoDave - initiated a conversation with me about IM and wanted to know if I had considered taking it to 1) prevent covid and 2) use it to cure covid if I were to contract it. Me, being invincible, said no, so he turned me onto a few links and pretty much left it at that.He's a sly devil - he knew I'd eventually get bored and read them. One of them concerned a study in India. As you may recall, there was a major outbreak a couple months ago and motherfuckers were dying like flies, then all of a sudden..... nothing.Why? Because they introduced IM. HERE is the link to the study in the first sentence of this paragraph.HERE is a 25 minute youtube video along the same lines. There's more out there if you take a few seconds to look them up. Okay, I read that, then I started digging and found more articles and videos on youtube, although youtube seems to be pulling a bunch of them if they even mention covid and IM.To make a long story short, I figured to give it a try. Hell, I never was shy about trying new drugs when I was younger, so it wasn't that big of a deal.My reasoning was this: While I may be invincible, my wife is not and with her health problems, she is one of those high risk people. She doesn't get out much, so about the only way she'd get it would be from me, so I needed to protect myself, but I really don't want to get vaccinated.Besides, I keep hearing about all the deaths and complications from taking the vaccines, but I've yet to hear about anybody dying from taking IM. On top of that, every day I read about fully vaccinated people being diagnosed with covid in spite of their precautions, so even if I got vaccinated, there's a good possibility that's not going to protect my wife from getting it. Wisco had also directed me to Ann Barnhardt's IM page HERE and told me to be sure that I read it - it tells you where to buy it, how to buy it, what kinds to buy (very important!) and dosage instructions. So, armed with that knowledge, I went into town to score some of this miracle drug in the liquid form. First stop was the Farmer's Co-op in town. There was none to be had and the old boy behind the counter said they can't keep it in stock for the past few months. That seemed a little weird seeing as I haven't noticed a massive influx of livestock around here lately - unless people are buying it up to use on themselves. Bubba also told me he couldn't guarantee a hold for me when it did come in, so I headed down to Tractor Supply. Once there, I couldn't find the liquid 1% solution so I asked one of the guys and immediately started getting the 3rd degree - just exactly what I did I want it for and shit like that, so I told him it was to worm a sick donkey. He went to the back to see if there was any there, but came back to tell me there was none in stock, so I asked him to order it for me. He hemmed and hawed around until the manager walked by and told him to order anything I wanted, with as much money as I've spent in that store, so he ordered a 50ml bottle for me and I got it 3-4 days later.While I'm on the subject of Tractor Supply, if you order something online from your home, YOU pay the shipping. If you have them order it for you, it ships to your address and shipping is free - something to keep in mind. Ten bucks is ten bucks. Anyways, after I got home and was re-reading Miss Ann's page, I realized I saw the 1.87% paste there at Tractor Supply, so I hustled back down there and scored a tube for about 8 bucks.Once I got it home, I figured to give it a whirl as a preventive measure, but I didn't want to use the liquid, figuring to hold off on that in case it became 'unavailable' in the future.Now Wisco had told me the paste tasted like ass, but what the fuck, I've eaten British food before. I ain't scared. Besides, this shit was apple flavored. So I took a piece of bread, squeezed out the recommended dose (I thought), put it on the bread, folded it over and wolfed it down. I got a very slight taste of bitter apple, so I shoveled in a load of Copenhagen and that was the end of that. Now, while IM in the liquid form is taken orally, it's drawn from the bottle and measured using a syringe which can be bought at Tractor Supply, livestock supply stores and even online at vet supply sites such as Chewy.com.In the liquid form and by using a little math, you can get the dosage down for your body weight pretty easily. Using the paste, the tube dispenses the doses in 50 kilogram increments for your body weight. Luckily, as I found out, it's pretty fucking hard to overdose yourself. As I was putting the tube away, I realized I had accidentally dosed myself with double the amount recommended for my weight. It's okay to round up - better a little too much than too little according to everything I had read, but damn, I really rounded up.Like I said, the shit measures out in 50 kilo increments for body weight and I did 3 clicks instead of 2. I weigh 170 pounds and took enough for a 330 pounder.I sat down and waited to die. What I got was a very slight headache and I do mean very slight - it wasn't even bad enough to require aspirin. I didn't even cop a buzz, damn it. Okay, that's my experience. Did I have any side effects? Nope.Did I get sick to my stomach? Huh-uh.Does my dick still get hard in the morning? Most of the time, but that's my age showing.Any frothing at the mouth? Only when I brush my teeth.Do my trigger fingers still work? Yes, praise the Lord.Any newfound empathy or tolerance for Biden? Fuck no.Do I have an urge to gallop in the pasture? What happens in that pasture is between me and God. Obviously, there's precautions.Ladies, you probably don't want to take it if you're pregnant or trying to get pregnant.If you're taking medication, you most definitely want to talk with your doctor first to see if there's going to be any kind of interactions. There's a website HERE that you can check, but I think I'd want to hear it from a doctor. How you word those questions is up to you, but if it was me I wouldn't ask IF I can take it, I'd let him or her know I was going to take it and what should I know. Okay, bottom line for me: Like I said earlier, I've heard of many, many cases of horrible side effects and even deaths from taking the vaccines, but I've yet to hear of anybody taking the correct dosage of IM having any adverse effects. I'm sure there's some out there, but if they were even remotely common, the FDA would be spreading those examples everywhere. Instead, they're putting out vague warnings like this HERE.Do I believe the hype about how deadly covid is for healthy people? No. But I do believe it can make you sicker than a dog, and I generally try to avoid shit like that. And again, I do have to protect my wife by protecting myself. With her health issues, death is a very real possibility. * So, if you are considering it, please go to Ann Barnhardt's page on the stuff and read it. Again, you'll find instructions on the kind to buy (they're not all the same), dosage, how to take it, and even a little video on how to use the paste.HEREIf you're concerned about the correct dosage, she addresses that as well.HERE

[enkelimagnus]

Cookbook

Bucky Barnes Gen, 1694 words, rated T for Hydra shit

Jewish Bucky Barnes, pre TFATWS, post Endgame

Bucky walks home from a long day of paperwork. On his path is a garage sale and a tired woman.

TW: cigarettes, smoking

Read on AO3

Part 2 of Making a Home - the Jewish Bucky series, Part 1 here, Part 2 here

----------------

Bucky smokes on the way home from work.

Everything that brought some sort of pleasure was a currency back in his day. That was why they sent cigarettes to the front. It was easy to make them necessary, when you were under constant fire and needed something to keep you going. Anything that got you out of that hell was traded for, fought for. Some days, it was like nothing mattered more than the next ration shipment and its load of cigarettes, pin-up magazines and six-pence books.

In truth, he doesn’t have the habit he used to have. Hydra wouldn’t have that. Upside of brainwashing, he guesses. And it’s not like it burns the same way anymore. That’s the serum for you.

Still, sometimes, he pulls a cigarette out of its gore-decorated cardboard box, lights it and pretends it has the same effect on him now than it did back in muddy camps or candle-lit living rooms.

The day has been long. No raids, but he’d been stuck behind a desk doing fucking paperwork for the last two weeks-worth of missions. His reports are tired and concise, he hates doing them and he’s pretty sure it’s obvious to anyone who reads what he writes.

He wishes he could smoke then , at that stupid cramped desk, to make the endless signing and reading and writing easier, but you’re not allowed to smoke inside anymore. So he finds himself doodling on other pieces of paper when his mind drifts. His focus is not the best outside of missions.

He used to love writing shit. Steve had his drawings and Bucky had his words, in between everything else. They wrote stories on notes they passed in class in high school. When it got taken by the teacher, no one could understand what they were talking about. He used to make up worlds and think of men walking in space, and he wishes he could tell his 14-year-old self that there are people in the sky, and that he’ll meet them one day. That he’ll see aliens, real ones, and punch them in the face.

He would tell him all the good things about the universe, all the people in it, all about partners in crime and arms like Dugan or Morito or Jones, or Sam or Natasha, how he not only met Howard Stark but was his comrade, how Stark knew him as “Sergeant Barnes” or “Sarge”.

He’d tell him all the good, and none of the bad, none of how his dad would die in two years and he’d be leading the family in shabbos prayers at 16, none of how the people in the world could be cruel for the sake of their own fun, none of how Howard Stark said his name in shock before he punched in his skull with the metal fist that was now his left hand.

Those conversations with his younger self -- barely a man, already smart-mouthed and charming and cocky in the way teenagers are and in the way Bucky had tried to remain for as long as he could until the war drained it out of him -- evaporate in the smoke, in the cold Brooklyn air.

He doesn’t love writing anymore. His mind can’t create the worlds it used to make. He thinks in three languages on a good day, only knows how to write one of those, so whenever he tries, something’s always missing. On a bad day, he can barely string along one sentence, let alone tell a story.

And he’s got no one to tell them to, anyway.

It’s 7pm and the streets are dark and icy. In the last few weeks, the gloves he always wears to hide his left hand have not been an incongruous fashion statement.

It’s January now. There was snow last week, a soft blanket that made him fucking cry out of nowhere when he saw it through the window. It was gone soon, but it was there. And for once, it didn’t fall on Siberia. It fell on Brooklyn again. He never would have thought he’d seen snow on Brooklyn again.

That kind of shit pulls memories out of him like nothing else, and he’s thankful for them. They make it easier and harder at the same time.

He told Doctor Raynor about the shul that’s now a church, about how it was the worst pain he’d felt since he’d last been wiped. How that’s another reason why he doesn’t want to walk into Becky’s retirement home and see her as she is now. The pain of time lost is the worst one to bear.

That, and he’s pretty sure she knows what he’s done. His name and photo have been blasted on every news channel and every social media website after the UN bombing. There’s no way she wouldn’t recognize him, when he looks so similar to the brother she lost.

He has no desire to face his Becky now that he’s a murderer and a weapon of mass destruction, Hydra brainwashing or not. You don’t do that to your little sister.

Besides, she doesn’t need him. She’s got kids and grandkids and great-grandkids, and nephews and nieces and every sort of relative you can imagine except for parents and siblings. She’s taken care of, they visit her often, she doesn’t need the grief he’d bring. He can’t be selfish.

He stops to stab the butt of the cigarette into a wall but his eyes catch something else.

In the cold evening, there’s a few lights set up on the sidewalk, over some makeshift tables threatening to crumble over all the items on it. Everyday items mostly, kitchen stuff, books and a clock and some candlesticks.

At first glance, all of the pricier stuff has been sold already, and there’s a tired-looking middle-aged woman sitting on the stairs of the house behind the tables. She has a look on her face, heavy with emotions muddled so well they’re impossible to tell apart.

“Buy what you want,” she says. Her voice doesn’t carry. He’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have heard more than a mumble if his hearing wasn’t enhanced. “Pay what you want.”

How many times has she said that today?

He looks down at the items for a moment, the cheap metal candlesticks, some old plates decorated with blue flowers, a still plastic-wrapped, never used, frankly hideous challah cover, and a pile of various books. Most in English, a couple in what he assumes to be Polish, some in Yiddish. His eyes fall on one in particular, a cookbook. It looks old.

“Can I touch?” He asks, pointing at the cookbook.

The woman nods. “Yeah. Nothing very modern in there. Bubbe barely even made this anymore,” she explains. Ah. A bubbe passed and the stuff they can’t keep, they’re selling.

The cookbook’s unremarkable. It’s been used, obviously, there are stains of chocolate-covered fingerprints on some of the dessert pages as he flips through. It seems to be half in English and half in Yiddish. He reaches the page where the publication date would be. He doesn’t even know why he’s checking.

Entire Contents Copyrighted 1949 The B. Manischewitz Co. Printed in the U.S.A.

1949. It’s close enough. Really close enough.

“How much do you want?” He looks up at the mourner.

“I told ya, it’s how much you’re willing to give.”

Bucky makes an annoyed sound at the back of his throat. He rephrases the question. “How much do you want me to give?”

The woman makes eye contact again. She looks deeply surprised by his question. Hesitant, too. She has no idea what to reply.

He fishes his wallet out of his pocket, starts going through the cash he has. He barely uses his credit card. Every month, when he gets his money from the army, he immediately withdraws most of it. It’s safer that way, and he knows how much he’s spending.

He counts out 180 dollars. It feels like a ridiculous amount for a cookbook, but the woman’s selling her bubbe’s shit like this, she’s still out at 7pm in January in Brooklyn and Bucky doesn’t have a lot of expenses anyway. He doesn’t really have expensive taste. 18’s a good number too, at least, it used to be, in his day.

“Peace be upon her,” He says quietly, when the woman opens her mouth at the bills he places in her hand. “It’s getting cold, you should go back inside,” he adds, quiet and coaxing, the tone he used to use when the neighbor’s son, Aaron, had a tantrum and sat on the stairs all evening, pretending to be mad at his parents.

Did he know the bubbe in question? Was she one of the kids from Hebrew school? It’s a little too far from his old neighborhood to be sure. He’s not going to ask.

The woman sighs a little, putting the money in her pocket when she realizes he’s not going to take any of it back.

He eyes the tables for a moment. “You need help packing up?”

She hesitates. He gets it, he’s a weird stranger who just bought an old cookbook for 180 dollars, it’s nighttime… He can’t tell her he’s not a serial killer, because he is one, and there’s going to be a moment where she remembers where she’s seen his face before. There usually is.

He holds his hands up, seemingly showing he’s harmless. It’s hilarious, really, because he’s never harmless. But contrary to Steve, he’s not massive. He’s more on the lean side of things, especially with his new arm.

“No pressure.”

She hesitates still, but he sees the exhaustion working away at her until she nods. The cookbook is put to the side and he helps her pack up the tables and the remaining things. He is careful not to display too much strength, and he’s also careful to keep his face in a neutral but positive sort of mask. His resting expression is meaner than needed.

He comes home much later than he thought he would, but he’s got a cookbook and some ideas of how to occupy his amnesia-riddled nights.

[forever-more-never-again]

Thaw (A Request)

Requested: Anonymous

Word Count: 2375

Pairing: Natasha X Reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood, murder, fighting

Request: Could you do a Natasha x mutant reader where the reader has frost powers and she can control ice/snow/temperature? Maybe the reader starts off as a villain and gets arrested, then the avengers find out about her powers and send Natasha to recruit her? Thx luv

A/n: Didn’t specify a happy ending so ahahahaha....I may have made this a little angsty....  hahaha don’t hurt me, enjoy

Masterlist

Time seemed to stand still as you ran through the siberian forest.

The snow was pristine and the lack of any animals made it seem like you were running through molasses.

The scenery never changing.

Of course you didn’t feel the biting cold, you couldn’t feel the freezing snow under your bare feet, or the ice cold air drawn into your lungs.

Perks of being a mutant with ice abilities. You never got cold. Never felt cold. It was like you were immune to the one thing that made you a freak to normal people.

The reason you were currently on the run.

“Find them! Now! We can't let those documents fall into the wrong hands!”

The stern, bellowing voice broke through your reverie and you picked up your pace. The files in your hands tucked against your chest.

You had been paid top dollar to steal confidential files from an Avenger sanctioned Blacksite.

You didn’t know what was in the files, you didn’t need to know. 

To survive in a world that had only looked down on you, had been cruel and unjust, you did what you had to to survive. Which was how you found a group of mutants in America that used their abilities to be sold to the highest bidder to survive.

It didn’t matter who bought your service. Be it government, villains, civilians, as long as they followed the guidelines used by the group.

No real names. No contact except through a secure site. Payment up front. And complete discretion from both sides.

You had survived breaking a prisoner of war out from camps in the middle east, stealing a priceless artifact from high security museums. You had even gathered evidence on the occasional cheating spouse.

This was the first, and you thought grimly, last time you would take a request to steal something from the Avengers or SHIELD. 

When you dropped off the files, you would make sure to pass the info to any customers. 

Because being chased by Captain America and Iron Man was not something you ever wanted to experience again.

“Got visuals on them...Holy Shit Cap’ it’s the Mercenary FrostBite!”

You growled low in your throat. Shit.

“Turn yourself in FrostBite! This doesn’t have to get messy!” Iron Man’s electronic voice boomed through the sky.

Turning quickly, without losing momentum, running backwards, you smirked up at the suit flying after you.

“How about no!” You shouted up at him before gulping in a breath of air and releasing it in a slow stream.

Before he could dodge, Iron Man’s entire suit was coated in ice and he fell like a brick out of the sky.

“Tony!”

Looking down, you saw Captain America sprinting towards me, gaze burning with determination.

You winked at him and blew a kiss, which brought up a huge wall of thick ice. And caused a flurry of snowflakes to block his line of sight.

Giving you just enough time to jump into the portal of one of the other Mutants and disappear back to the base in New Jersey.

“Woah. [Y/n], you look like hell. What happened?” The portal wielder, some young guy named Amuk, asked before shaking his head, “Never mind. I don’t care. Just get to the drop off site so you can go on your next mission.”

You huffed. You had just gotten chased by some of the Avengers. But that was the way it was around here. Everyone for themselves. No one was friends. If you died, no one cared. It was just a way to get money and survive.

You had a day before you had to drop the file off at the designated drop off site. And now you were curious.

What was so important in these files that someone paid for you to get them out of a blacksite used by the Avengers?

You tried to never look into what you were paid to steal, but this had your attention now, and the more you tried not to think about it, the more it called to you.

Finally you couldn’t take it anymore, and in the safety of your room, which was really just a hollowed out hole in the side of the abandoned subway station where the group lived, you flipped open the file.

A picture was the first thing to meet your curious gaze.

It showed a cell with the walls covered in plans and diagrams.

You were interested in them as they seemed to depict doomsday devices like bombs, pathogens, and different ways to take out high powered world leaders and officials.

The next page showed a picture of the guy who you believed was responsible for the frantic words scribbled along the diagrams.

A disgraced Hydra scientist. Adal Herscher. Seems like SHIELD had captured him during a raid on a Hydra bunker several years back and now Hydra wanted him back.

Your skin crawled. The money that sat innocently in your backpack now seemed menacing. Blood money.

Inner Ward you were wondering why this bothered you now. You never cared who bought your services before.

Then another side of you piped up saying you never knew who bought your services before so you never had to worry but now that you knew it was Hydra…

Now though, you wanted to destroy this file and get rid of the money you had from the organization.

You knew all about Hydra and you knew what they did to Mutants. How could you be sure that they wouldn’t come after you? 

Even though you were anonymous, everyone who used the group knew that it was run and provided by Mutants. Particularly, mutants that had nowhere else to go. No one to miss them if they went missing.

And then you got to the page that showed who caught him. Natasha Romanoff. The Black Widow.

You were embarrassed to admit you felt your cheeks warm as you stared at her picture.

She was so strong and beautiful and deadly. 

“Oi! [Y/n]! Just received a transmission. Whoever asked for that item you acquired wants it at the drop site today instead. Top Priority, they’re willing to give another five hundred grand for it.”

Startled, you slam the file shut and look up at Amuk. He just raised a disinterested eyebrow and waved a hand, opening a portal to where the drop site was.

For the first time in the five years since you had joined this group, you hesitated.

Drawing a deep breath, you stepped through the portal. And immediately regretted it. The sun blazed down on you. Causing you to drop your temperature to stay cool, but also taking a lot more energy from you to do so in the presence of such intense heat.

Looking around, you saw that the drop site was apparently outside the Colosseum in Rome. Great. You knew the client had said the drop site was an underground arena, but you had thought they meant like an underground boxing ring. Not a literal underground arena. 

A bunch of tourists were giving you strange looks as the portal closed behind you.

You were still dressed in the outfit from Siberia which consisted of bare feet, black spandex and a plain tshirt.

Minimum protection, but it allowed you to use your mutation to its max capacity.

You held the file close to your chest, avoiding the weird looks you were getting as you walked to the ticket line and flashed your most innocent smile.

“Hello. There should be a ticket on hold for me. Under S.S. Dereks.” The woman behind the counter clicked a few times on her computer and smiled back at you.

“Yes. Here you are. Looks like you have a pass to tour the construction that is happening to the underground area of the Colosseum, so if you follow that path,” She pointed you in the direction away from the rest of the tourists, “You’ll see the security. Just show them your ticket and you’ll be good to go!”

You thanked the woman and followed her directions, ignoring the uneasiness that came from being underground.

The security guards gave me no trouble, but I eyed the stun guns they had on their belts. 

The underground arena was quiet, and a lot cooler than it had been up top. There were boards of wood and power saws and tools scattered everywhere. Tarp covering areas, and signs marking certain historical stones and areas that weren’t to be touched.

You found a small insignificant toolbox off to the side and opened it up. Inside was the extra five hundred grand promised and you took it out and replaced it with the folder.

“I’m so sorry. I hate that I’m doing this. But I need to survive.” You didn’t know who you were apologizing too, or why you were talking out loud to yourself. But it didn’t help ease the small amount of guilt you felt as you closed the toolbox and began walking back out.\

That was when you felt it. The sensation of being watched. Not giving away that anything was wrong. You began forming icicles over your fingers.

And with one quick twist, you released the sharp claws up towards where you thought the person was.

There was a dim sound of the ice hitting stone, but no one cried out and nobody dropped from the rafters.

“Hmm…” You eyed the dark area suspiciously for a moment, before turning around, and immediately jumping back.

In front of you stood Natasha Romanoff. Black Widow, in her SHIELD outfit and glaring at you.

Snow blew in her face as you threw your hands up and let ice grow on your fingers again in preparation to strike.

But she didn’t charge. She didn’t settle into a fighting stance. 

So you took the incentive to start the banter before the inevitable fight, “How did you find out about this?”

Black Widow shook her head, her gaze softening, “[Y/n] [Y/l/n], alias FrostBite. Mutant Gene carrier that gave ice and snow abilities. Abandoned and ran away from foster homes before seeming to disappear off the map. Joined a Mutant group in New Jersey that sells out their services to the highest bidder. Wether that be murder, arson, stealing, or otherwise. But you, you’ve never killed. The most you have done in the past five years is steal and spy.”

Your eyes were blown wide as she recited your history to you. How did she know all that?

“What do you want with me!?” A growl and snarl ripped from your throat as you raised your hands, the ice on your nails growing to a sharp point, ready to fire at a single moment.

Natasha cocked her head, you tensed, “You stole a file. Did you read it?”

Your eyes swept over to the toolbox quickly, but not fast enough that Natasha didn’t see it.

“We know Hydra wants that file. That they want that scientist back from the black site you stole it from. Why steal for them? You know what they do…”

You felt heat sting your eyes and silently cursed at yourself telling yourself not to cry. You would not show weakness.

“You remember what it’s like, don’t you Natalia Alianovna!” You spat her name, enjoying her mild look of surprise, “Yeah, I know who you are. You should know what it’s like for us who don’t fit into society's perfect little mold. You do what you have to to survive. To live another day. To hope that one day it will get better. I do what I do to survive. You seem to have forgotten what that was like ever since you became oh so popular Black Widow.”

Natasha’s shoulders dropped the longer you spoke. Your voice was growing in volume until you were nearly shouting. And then, with horror, you realized you were crying.

The tears were hot against your cheeks as they fell to the dusty floor.

“Then let me help you. Let me use the power I have now to give you a better future than the one you have right now.”

Her words were so soft. So warm. You wanted nothing more than to agree, to take the hand she held out to you and let her take you away. But you knew that the future was not going to happen.

“Your promises are empty Natasha Romanoff. Empty and cold just like my heart. I have done things you will never find out, things that haunt my nightmares. You can’t save me. No one can.”

A sob heaved through you, causing the ice on your fingers to melt off.

A soft hand on your cheek had you jerking and then you were swimming in emerald green.

“You can choose to be good. You can choose to help instead of hurt. If I can be redeemed, so can you.”

In a sudden decision that you would most probably later regret, you surged forward and captured Natasha’s lips with yours.

The salt from your tears mingled with the heady aroma of cherries and the taste of vanilla on her tongue.

It was everything you dreamed and more. 

Just as suddenly, you tore away from her with a gasp, stumbling out of her reach.

She stared at you with wide eyes, one hand reaching up to touch her lips.

“Take the file. Once I knew it was Hydra that hired me, I didn’t want to complete the mission. Take it and never come after me again. Or I will fight you. Goodbye...Natasha.”

And before she could recover you ran.

You ran with your tears streaming down your face.

Regretting leaving her behind already.

But you knew nothing good could come of you going with Black Widow.

She didn’t know. No One knew. You had been the one...all those years ago...that had murdered your parents when they tried to beat you. You had been the one...that had shot and killed a witness...by shooting through Natasha’s abdomen.

Your crush would go unrequited, but, as you jumped through the portal, you touched your lips, remembering the taste of her, at least you got something to remember her by during the lonely cold nights.

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