#and also he's white. so he didn't have to directly confront any of the rampant racism and colourism that plagues classical ballet

[sanstropfremir]

To continue on that ballet ask (sorry that I keep bothering you with this specifically. I just really enjoy reading your responses based on the experiences you had, I think it's always very interesting to get other people's points of view)

You said a lot of your understanding of ballet comes from close relationships with classical ballet dancers and not having danced yourself, but I found your entire response very insightful to read. I may have danced for a decade, but my knowledge of it is still very surface level bc I never actually went into the professional field.

Your one line at the end "classical circles are steeped in elitism still" unlocked some memories I forgot I had (lol) of my teacher talking about her experiences as a professional dancer. It's all a bit hazy, but I do recall her saying that it's not at all what you might expect it to be, that it's physically and at times especially mentally draining. It does not surprise me that there are dancers that struggle to separate their professional and private personas, or even struggle to let the facades drop entirely (tho I'm guessing thats more of an extreme case)

don't apologize it's not bothersome at all! i don't mind answering any and all of your questions, it's just as interesting to me what catches people's attention from the things i say. and i'm glad that you found it insightful!

another one of the myriad of things that people don't realize about being a professional in the arts is that you don't have a life outside the arts. work/life balance is skewed for literally everyone in this late stage capitalist hellscape but for a professional artist, even if you can maintain a good social life, most of your friends are also artists. when you so deeply entrench your life in work, all you have time for is the people around you. and the longer you work in the industry, the more people cross over from being coworkers into being friends, even though you never stop working with them. and when you also work with your friends and have to maintain good relationships with them in order to both keep them as your friends and keep staying employed, are you ever not working? if you meet up for dinner or drinks with someone you're on a show with in private, are you wearing your public or your private face? you can't draw that line because where even the fuck is it? that's not a line that's a thick groundlayer of fog and no one can see the floor. my first jobs in 2013 right as i started my undergrad were working IN the department (i worked sewing costumes for all the mainstage shows on top of doing other jobs on those shows AND my full time classes), and then working on shows with a company that was run by one of the professors and some grads. i barely interacted with non-arts people for almost a decade. if i hadn't up and moved to a different continent for grad school, i'd still be working in the same community. and i'm from a place where the scene is small enough that you can't really go anywhere without running into someone you know. it's not just dancers that struggle with public personas, i had one for years that ruined at least two of my relationships and has heavily coloured every friendship i made in undergrad. i had to unlearn a lot of stuff and moving away really helped because it gave me a fresh chance to properly solidify who i was under everything, but most people don't get that chance. if i'm honest, i don't think struggling with drawing lines between your public and private faces is an extreme case; i think it's way closer to the norm than even people in the industry are willing to admit.