#and also Shads makes her feel attractive 🥹💕…

[eliteseven]

for the OC asks, i was intrigued by #5: How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

i feel like serena fundamentally believes (?) that shadowheart’s out of her league. i could be wrong of course (!) this is just kinda the interpretation i have of her in certain instances where she’s more hesitant than shadowheart is to fully embrace her own sensuality and like how desirable she is to her. it could very well be that her upbringing as a noble just made her so much more reserved, but i was curious if her own perception ties into how attractive she feels not only to shadowheart but just in general with even herself? and how this reflects in her more intimate moments with shadowheart?

Oof, yeah, she does think Shadowheart is out of her league, both look-wise and just…in general tbh. This is a complex one. It actually has much to do with Serena’s upbringing!

So like…we can address that Serena’s pretty conventionally attractive. It’s all subjective, true, but I personally would say she’s v hot lol. All this to say- she has beauty!

Now, raised as a noble lady- she was expected to fall into a sort of mold. Elegant, feminine, well-read, diplomatic, shrewd, and cunning. She is a lot of those things…but also not. She developed a passion for adventure, swordplay- passions not typically associated with a noblewoman. It was important for me to marry all these ideals- she is “feminine” (in the most basic sense of the word), she is adventurous, they are not mutually exclusive! She’s living proof of that, now.

Now, the romantic attention she got was primarily by the bachelors her father was trying to show her off to- which could be a reason for Serena’s poor perception of herself and her attractiveness in general. She wasn’t into their attention…iykwim. She was just too young to really know why. When I say she never really gave too much thought to how beautiful she is and how she could use that to manipulate people, I mean it! She was preoccupied with trying to find herself, her purpose, and a way out of her father’s grasp. Her father was constantly telling her she was not enough and that it was her fault she wasn’t finding success/romance/etc.

A noblewoman is also taught to be modest, coy, to invite the chase… so Serena was never forward with her attraction, her romantic desires, etc. she was reading romance novels and swooning in the corner of her room. Cormyr, the military, and Althaea all really helped her in becoming the unintentionally suave, chivalrous knight we all love.

Take Shads- she’s kind of the polar opposite. Her foundations are rocky as well- for her, her looks were weaponized. She was the “honey trap” specialist with seduction/infiltration skills! She was, quite literally, taught to be a beautiful weapon. So…she knows. Knows her potential, knows the effect she has on others. She’s well aware that she’s beautiful- so many people have told her as much. It’s given her this cutting confidence- even if a lot of it is bravado.

Serena has gotten a lot better, she flirts and banters smoothly enough- but she still carries that doubt with her. Part of it is that internalized hate from her father, but part of it is simply because she is so fucking in love with Shadowheart that she could never feel worthy. I think Shadowheart is…genuinely baffled by this. She doesn’t get it. She thinks Serena is a smoke show??? With the biggest heart ever???

In fact, I would wager she secretly holds the same insecurities! She thinks she’s irredeemable, that she “doesn’t know what she did to trick Serena into thinking she [Shadowheart] was worthy of her love”

Like 🥺 ….girls….you are both 100/10’s and you both deserve each other….

[eliteseven]

Every time I browse Tumblr and see an SH with black hair and a side fringe, my heart sinks, knowing she's taken DJ's path. Luckily, Jen from Consonance is the exception, hahaha. Have you considered that, at some point, Jen might dye her hair white for a promo of the album and love it so much that she keeps it?

(Tav dying a little inside each time she sees her, once again).

Yeah I was thinking more along the lines of Consonance (or Redemption AU). That’s just Jen, not DJ! Shads🥹💕

I think Jen’s black hair is pretty iconic, ngl. Very hot, really fits AP’s sound and style too. However, I think she might eventually go white/platinum and def would keep it for a while. Serena would miss it- but it’s Jen. She worships the ground Jen walks on. Ofc she’d love the lighter hair.

Serena would adore the surprise. Jen would be a little nervous to show her (residual trauma from Shar) but her heart bursts when she sees how Serena chokes on nothing in her attraction when she finally lays eyes on her. Jen feels a little foolish for ever having doubted that. Serena is truly just wildly in love with her- in any form.

Jen is happy, being able to make a change in her own life and feel good about it, without having to justify it or worry about Shar. It also doesn’t hurt that Serena is so smitten with the new look that she’s burned herself on hot items and walked into a few walls in her distraction/attraction 🤭