#and also I am so overwhelmed by the tiny details in love/power I keep procrastinating it JFDKDNDNS

[mosspapi]

Man I was hoping to have all of my sister's patches done so I could put them in the mail on her birthday but that is tomorrow and I'm only half finished both of the last two. And I'll probably have to redo a large section of Room 93 because apparently 3799, 413, and 317 are Way More Similar In Colour than I thought when I bought them

[nagichi-boop]

hiiii can i have a matchup? im tiny (4’10) and i’ve been told that i have pretty innocent and cute looking face so im really not that intimidating. i’m super girly and i love wearing dresses and going all out with my appearance. i’m an intp. i can be a bit of an “extroverted introvert”— i’m approachable and i like to talk to certain people, but i prefer to stay out of other’s business and keep to myself. - 🥺

i tend to be very quiet around people that i’m not necessarily good friends with, but once i start to warm up to you, i can be really sarcastic (to the point that it annoys people), childish, and open with my thoughts. i’m a fairly confident person most of the time so i make a lot of dumb jokes about how pretty i am lol. but even with my confidence, i tend to get suddenly overwhelmed and anxious around big crowds. (2/?)

i’m a math nerd; i actually enjoy it and do well on the subject. i’m a professional procrastinator (which isn’t something to brag abt but i have to say im pretty good at it lol). i absolutely love music and it’s a topic that always gets me excited. talk about music with me and i’ll never shut up. my headphones are always on me and i can’t go a day w/o it. i can play the ukulele and i’m trying to learn piano. (3/?)

i’m pretty good at art, but a lot of the times it’s really difficult for me to find motivation to draw and im not very confident in my abilities. i love to sing, and i have a habit of softly singing/humming. in the grocery store, outside, in my room. anywhere. as much as i hate to admit it, im a super cuddly person and cant sleep without hugging something. i really really love hugs and affection but i’m too shy to ask for it. sorry this is long oops T_T ignore the emoji on the first one (4/4)

♡♡♡

Hey! Tysm for your request!

Let's get right into it, shall we?

I'd ship you with...

Kuroo Tetsurou!

• Kuroo was drawn to the fact that, at face value, you look like you'd be total opposites. You wear femanine clothing, he is very masculine. You are short, he is tall. You look innocent, he is...well, less so.

• He found you to be someone very easy to talk to, and even if you were shy to begin with, he was able to get you to open up. (After all, he is best friends with a very introverted person.)

• When you first made a sarcastic joke, Kuroo was really caught off guard - to the point where he started to catch feelings for you. You were no longer just this cutesy shy girl, you were someone with depth and complexity. As someone who loves to tease people, he also found comfort in knowing you like sarcastic jokes.

• Similarly, he likes your jokes about your appearance because he also loves to boast about himself. He just hopes that these jokes don't come from a dark place because he wants you to be confident in your appearance.

• He started just coming up to you and talking. People would get kind of startled because, compared to him, you look tiny, but Kuroo would simply laugh it off and then whisk you away.

• Once again, Kuroo is used to dealing with people who get anxious around crowds, so he usually takes you to quieter places to talk. Plus, it means he gets to keep you all to himself. Even though you weren't dating yet, he enjoys any time he gets to spend with you.

• He was low-key denying his own feelings for you because he didn't want to ruin the friendship he has with you. Kenma, as observant as always, has clued into the fact that you also seem to have feelings for him, so he bluntly tells Kuroo to get his confession to you over and done with. He thinks your friendship is strong enough that, even if you turn him down, you'd remain friends.

• Even though he is normally very confident, he was nervous when he tried to confess to you. He avoided eye contact and put his arm behind his neck. After meandering around the question for so long, he finally asked you out. You happily said "yes" to his confession.

• You both made as many excuses as you could to see each other, even if it only let you see each other briefly. Kenma had the idea for Kuroo to ask you to be his study partner since you seemed to be really good at maths and it would mean you could hang out more.

• You two are the biggest power couple ever and Kuroo likes to make everyone aware of it, especially his team. You're also a really funny duo when it comes to joking around. You always seem to be able to bounce off of one another really well, and dating only made your bond stronger.

• He loves your more artistic side. When you first sang in front of him, he had to hide his face because of how much he was blushing. When you asked him what was wrong, he very quickly deflected and tried to focus your attention onto something else.

• He comes over to just chill with you and sing. You play an instrument and sing while Kuroo taps on his legs and sings a lower harmony with you. He also doesn't mind just chilling while listening to music.

• He always asks for your music recommendations, partially because he wants to see your face light up and he loves how passionate you are about it. The two of you often share earbuds and listen to your music.

• He also loves your drawings. He thinks you're amazingly talented and he wishes you would show off your work more, but he also understands that you may not be motivated to draw all of the time and you may be anxious to share your work because of how you feel about your art. He appreciates your honesty and openess with him. He finds it endearing that even you have things you aren't confident about as he has his weak points, too.

• Kuroo is down for a good cuddle. In fact, he is someone who is surprising touchy. It started off as him just wrapping his arm around your shoulder, but he now also loves to cuddle you, give you a little smooch on the forehead, hold your hand - whatever it is you want or are comfortable with him doing. (He doesn't want to overstep any bounds, so before he tries anything new, he asks you first.)

• You don't have to ask for him to cuddle you - he somehow manages to pick up on when you really want to hug and he does it. He even sometimes puts his arm around you without even realising it.

• He bought you a big plushie of his so that you could cuddle it to help you sleep. You love to nestle your face into it because it smells like him and that puts you at ease.

I hope you like this matchup! Sorry if it's a bit long. I wanted to add as much detail as possible since you gave me such an in depth description to work with.

[myaekingheart]

I've honestly been in such a shit mood today, I swear. Like I was alright when I woke up, I guess, except every limb on my body ached. My legs have been really sore these days and so have my arms/hands and for absolutely no good goddamn reason. It's not like I exercise. Maybe that's why I'm sore, because of what I don't do versus what I actually do. I just...I don't know, all day I've just been feeling like I'm not a functional human being, that I can't do anything right. My boyfriend was getting on my case because there were all these wires on the floor and he kept telling me not to step on them yet there was hardly anywhere else to step, and then we were playing TERA all day, a game I had never played before, and turns out I accidentally chose the most complex class possible which was making literally everything impossible. I was getting so stressed out because everything was coming at me at once, I was like a magnet for enemies and they just kept slamming me and every time I leveled up, a million pop-ups would come up and I never had time to read them all or even read the dialogue with other characters important to the storyline because people kept coming up and attacking me. And of course my boyfriend inadvertently chooses the easiest and most powerful class to play as so all of this is just a piece of cake for him meanwhile I'm over here getting pounded. It also doesn't help that the camera would move every time I moved my mouse, which I am not used to at all, and it was stressing me out, I hate it. We played for nearly seven hours and I levelled up and everything but by the end of it I was so fucking overwhelmed, I had such sensory overload from everything coming at me at once. That's why I never play video games in the first place, because they just stress me out way too fucking much. I can only handle casual games like The Sims (that pause button is a godsend, I can't even tell you how many times I pause the game every time I play) or Solitaire (not that that's a video game so much as it's something old people play on the computer. I guess I am an old person). Single player, low stress shit. I was hoping to get a break after I signed off but instead, I got an email from my college that made me want to check my school account but when I tried to log in, it kept telling me the username and password I was entering was wrong even though I was positive it was right. I ended up calling my dad, who was the last one to log in to my school account, thinking it was his fault and that he had locked me out of my own account by being logged into it on his own computer or something but then he was getting locked out, the website suggested calling IT but it was after 6pm and IT was closed for the night so there went that idea, I was frustrated which was getting my dad frustrated and we were shouting at each other, it was just lovely. I ended up finally getting it fixed-- turns out the password I was so certain was right was actually wrong-- but things just didn't seem to end there. We've let the dishes pile up considerably over the last week or so, so as my boyfriend was cooking dinner he asked me to take care of the dishes. It should've been done days ago, honestly, but he works and goes to school and when he's not doing that, he's playing video games. I have no job and am out of school so I really have no excuse but if we're going to make one, I just never have the will to care. It's like that post I reblogged earlier today: I know I need to do this and my quality of life will decrease the more I let it sit there but I don't have the will to care, to get up and take care of it. That's pretty much me. I just don't have to motivation or will to do it. I know it needs to be done and that I should do it because my boyfriend has more to deal with than I do, I am literally a housewife, but I just...I wake up every morning and the only thing that gets me out of bed is my growling stomach and knowing that if i don't eat something, I'm going to make myself sick. But anyways, so he asked me to take care of the dishes while he cooked dinner which I obliged to because I mean, I should take care of it anyways. Apparently I am completely incapable of being a functional human being with the ability to do simple tasks because even doing dishes was a hardcore chore. Let the records show that I really hate doing dishes anyways (we don't have a dishwasher at our place and holy mother of fuck do I wish we did, doing the dishes is disgusting and just makes me not want to eat even more because who would keep their appetite scraping rotten, waterlogged food off of plates? Disgusting. I have to fight a gag reflex every time I'm subjected to it) but today things just went through the roof. Last time my boyfriend's mother was up, she did us a favor and bought us a new bottle of dish detergent which was great because we had ran out. She bought the jumbo size bottle which I mean, I get it, it's worth it because there's more and that's great. We won't have to buy detergent as frequently. The only issue is that I can't pick up the damn thing. It's too heavy and I can't fit my hand around it and when my hands are wet, say goodbye to every ounce of grip possible. This was the exact problem I was having tonight: I could not for the life of me pick up the damn bottle. I tried but I was not successful. I could lift it for a few seconds to try and squirt some detergent out but I had such a poor grip on the bottle that my aim was off and I was making a mess and the thing was slipping out of my hands all over the place and our sink is so tiny (and our kitchen for that matter) that water always drips over the side of the counter and onto the floor so I have to wipe that up or else it'll just be a nuisance and it's just so absolutely frustrating, I hate that something so motherfucking mundane aggravates me so fucking much. I was so stressed about it today, though, that I nearly broke down in tears. My boyfriend had to take an empty soap bottle from the bathroom and pour the detergent into there just to try and make things easier for myself. I never did finish. Half the dirty dishes are still just sitting there in the sink or on the counter probably collecting ants as they wait to be cleaned. I was going to do it after dinner but here we are almost four hours later and I never got around to it. Not like my boyfriend hounded me about it or anything, nor did he take care of it. Which is fine, whatever, I'll probably do it tomorrow or something. If I care enough. On top of all of this, we found out the cat has fleas so we had to order a flea collar and as we were talking about it briefly, trying to figure out how he got them (considering he's an indoor cat and is the only one in the house), I mentioned that maybe he picked them up at that hotel we all had to stay at for the hurricane. I started elaborating on it saying because that was the only time the cat had been outside since he and my boyfriend moved into the apartment and that the place is a pet friendly hotel anyways and even though the cat didn't interact with any other animals, that doesn't mean that the fleas couldn't have crossed over from another pet that was staying in the room before us or something. Before I got the chance to explain everything, however, my boyfriend stopped me not unkindly and said I didn't need to list everything off, that he already knew what I meant. Which was fine, I don't even know why I did it in the first place, but it just kind of bugged me that he stepped in and kind of cut me off. It probably would've bugged me regardless but it didn't help that I was already in a pretty iffy mood and feeling lowkey vulnerable from the rest of the day, so it only made matters worse. Since then, I've kind of just been sitting here quietly doing whatever in a sulky mood because why the fuck not? I feel sulky so I have the right to be sulky. It's only human anyways. He knows something is up but I never went into detail when he asked if I was okay, I just told him I was in a mood and felt like all day I've been doing everything wrong and like I'm not a functional human being and he just said something about "Well, I don't think you're useless and I love you" or whatever and got back to his video games. Not that he's been ignoring me or anything, like every so often he'll look over at me and make sure I'm doing alright, ask me what I'm up to (to which I reply "stupid bullshit"), and just a few minutes ago during a load screen he basically stared at me and rubbed my leg for a solid three minutes so there's that. To be completely honest, though, I don't even know why all of this is bugging me so much in the first place. I mean, I'm already a moody bitch as it is but I just feel like all of this is completely unwarranted, escalated bullshit. I feel like I freak out or get stressed at the most insignificant little things (like the other day I lost it because we bought two boxes of donuts at the store and my boyfriend left them on top of the microwave and when I opened the one the other morning, despite it having been sealed, there were still ants crawling all inside of it) and it pisses me off. I don't want to be this touchy yet here I am, the moody little bitch that I am. I don't know, maybe it's just the stress of living on my own that's really starting to weigh on me. Realizing that I have all of these adult responsibilities to deal with now like taking care of my own place and paying bills and eventually actually learning to drive and finding a job. Like okay, yeah, that should probably all be taken care of. It should've been taken care of years ago but look who procrastinates on literally every fucking thing? This bitch right here. I still have a hard time reminding myself that this isn't some little long distance visit like my boyfriend and I used to do, either. For a little over a year we were long distance and I'd travel back and forth about once a month to spend at least the weekend with him. I'd get a couple days to a week of no parental supervision, happy fun times worked around his work or school schedule, and it was all fine and dandy, you know, whatever. Then at the end of it all, my parents would pick me back up and take me home and I'd go back to mom's homecooked meals and sitting outside with the dog and watching Jeopardy during dinner, the whole family experience. Nearly two months later and I still don't think it's sunk in that all of that is gone now. There are little things that set off these default thoughts about going back home, like if my boyfriend and I are watching a show together on Hulu or something, I'll think to myself "Oh, we better binge on as much as possible because I won't be able to watch this when I get home!" or something. The thought of potentially going back home, like to visit or whatever, makes my stomach churn, too. I don't know when I'll get back down there next but I'm so conflicted. I want to go back to see my parents and my dog and my old house again and everything but then on the other hand, I want to keep my distance just because I know that's not mine anymore. I almost had to make plans to go back for a doctor's appointment in order to get some papers signed off for registering with the university I'm going to but [un]fortunately we found a way to make that not happen. I think my biggest thing is staying in my old bedroom and what's going to come of it. That bedroom was my sanctuary. I had spent so much time there, it had become so overrun with my things and my personality. It felt like crawling into a cozy little space in my mind at the end of every day where I'd sit up on my laptop til 4am relaxing and playing Friends or Fresh Prince reruns on mute in the background. It was cozy and warm and it looked like me and smelled like me and felt like me. It was my space. Now that I've moved out, 1) I don't have a "my space" anymore. Every space is an "our space" now. 2) That space in my parent's house has pretty much been gutted and generalized into just another room in a building I once occupied. It's not mine anymore. It's a free space open to any and all guests who come to that house. I hope they know that when they lay their head down at night, they're falling asleep in a room full of tears and memories. I don't know how I'm going to handle being that guest when I eventually go back, sleeping in a room that once belonged to me but isn't mine anymore. It haunts me. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about how weird going back to that house in general will be. None of those things in that place are mine anymore. It's not my home anymore to come back to. It's just a place where I used to live. I realize now that this has practically nothing to do with my crappy day but then again, if I'm talking about it, maybe it does? Every time I vent, that always seems to be what everything comes back to these days, my struggle to adjust to this new way of life. Maybe that's the foundation of everything after all. I know I was a being never meant for change, a plant who takes root in one space and refuses to leave without a lot of tugging and struggle. Hell, even going to that goddamn hotel for the hurricane was a struggle because I had to pack up and leave. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am a plant and I was meant to be stationary. I used to think astrology and zodiac signs indicating hallmark aspects of people's personalities was just a bunch of bullshit but now I'm beginning to think maybe it's not such bogus after all. I don't know, seems like things are telling pretty accurately to me so far (I'm a Taurus, which means I'm an Earth sign, which I'm pretty sure correlates with the earth element which has to do with plants which is what I am pretty sure I am at this point because oh my god). Or maybe that's just stupid, I don't fucking know. Sometimes I feel like I don't know anything anymore and I don't really know how to feel about that. I don't like not knowing things. I don't like feeling stupid and uneducated, and yet somehow I always seem to label myself as such in an act of belittlement and low self esteem. I think very little of myself all the time always. I wish I could say I was humble but instead, I'm just cynical and probably a little depressed or whatever. I don't know, man. I don't know anymore. I just really don't know.