#and all the dialogue is so wooden and awful like :/

[themyscirah]

Not Tom King diagnosing the problem with his own run in issue #2

[mischievousmoony]

hi, ok i have another idea for a fic which again totally up to you to write!! but i had an idea with dad!james and r where their kid is like equally obsessed with their mum as james is with r and one day james decides to prank their kid by saying something bad about the r while their kid is present and the baby just goes off. i feel like you would do an amazing job with this! feel free to ignore too. have a perfectly splendid day!!

-🪷

"the baby just goes off" painted a hilarious picture of an infant yelling at his dad in my mind lmao. ty for the request this warmed my heart to write + special thanks to @moonpascal for chatting a little about kids, gave me the reassurance & inspiration i needed

𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚜

⟢ dad!james potter x fem!reader ⊹ 1.1k ⟢ warnings/tags: fluff, dad/husband!james, mom/wife!reader, no use of y/n, no name for the son, idk how to write a child's dialogue tbh son's supposed to sound 4 years old

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

James gladly goes out of his way to mention to anyone who will listen that his little one is unmistakably a Mummy's boy. From family to friends to the poor souls who bag his groceries, James will talk the ear off of anyone he can.

He finds it to be the most endearing thing in the world— the way that your son is as obsessed with you as James is. Always staying close and clinging to you, touching affection radiating from every hug and smile.

Today, as he watches his son run back and forth across the carpet, handing his mother block after block just to see her face light up after each gift, his awe and admiration are insurmountable.

Last night, James surprised you with a pair of earrings that you have been wishing for. When your face lit up upon receiving the little leatherette box, so did your son's. He didn't quite understand why you were so excited about some cube, but since then he's been trying to replicate your excitement with presents of his own.

"Oh my! Another one! Thank you, buddy," you beam, you're gratefulness and delight unwavering as he hands you the sixth block.

Your son giggles, bouncing in his spot as you inspect each side of the little wooden toy, telling him how much you adore the blue penguin painted on one of its faces.

That's another thing that touches James' heart: the tender nurture and care that you bestow upon your son with such unwavering devotion and warmth. It has James convinced that you must be the best mum in the entire world.

He might just melt at the sight of you now, kneeling happily in front of a growing pile of blocks as your son scurries back and forth, adding to your collection. James sits cross-legged to your right, resting his elbow on his knee and laying his head in his hand, watching the two he loves most in the world with hearts in his eyes.

You gasp, as if surprised when handed block number seven. "Oh, this is my favorite one yet. How did you know I love zebras?" you ask, your thumb tracing over the red acrylic paint on the side of the block.

By the time you have twelve, nearly half of his collection, you say, "I have a lot of blocks here, buddy, do you want to give some to Daddy?"

"No!" your son protests immediately, running off to his toy box for the thirteenth time.

You and James both chuckle, exchanging amused glances. Finding your son's reaction hilarious, James’s mischievous side has him dreaming up new ways to push his buttons. Your son thinks the world of you, and James is curious to see what the little guy will do if he claims otherwise.

"Well, what am I gonna do with all of this? Should I..."

You leave your son in suspense for a moment, and his hands hover over his toy box as looks at you, hanging onto your every word in anticipation.

"...build a castle!?"

“Yeah!” your son cheers, scooping three more blocks into his arms, thrilled to supply the bricks for your castle.

James nudges you, a sign of his upcoming playfulness. “You sure about that, bud? Mummy is absolutely rotten at building castles.”

Halfway across the carpet, your son stops in his tracks, glaring at his father as he tries to keep his blocks from falling out of his arms.

Stifling a laugh, you press your fingertips to your lips. By now, you’re used to James’ bursts of mischief, and you’re more than happy to sit back and let them play out. Unless you’re an active participant, of course.

You muster up a scandalized gasp as he reaches for your mountain of presents, claiming three blocks in one hand.

“No!” your little one complains, rushing to drop his three in your lap to replace the ones that James stole, “those are Mummy’s!”

“You sure Mummy deserves all these blocks?” James asks, starting to stack them into a tower, “You watch, I’ll build a castle that’ll make her’s look like rubbish.”

Your son hastily makes his way over to his dad, both arms extended as he collides with the tower and sends the blocks flying. "Stop it," he says as he scoops up the nearest block and runs it back over to you, shouting, "Mummy's castles are the best!"

He climbs into your lap, clutching onto the toy tightly as one of your arms wraps around him, and you feel your heart start to melt as you rub soothing circles into his back. You look over your son's head, your eyes sparkling with affection as you meet your husband's tender gaze.

Not having the heart to mess with him for very long, James concedes, "You're right, I'm not being very nice, am I?"

"Nuh-uh!" your son replies, shaking his head with exaggeratedly vigor, the curls he gets from his dad bouncing about.

"What can I do to make it up to her?" James asks, turning the ordeal into a subtle lesson as he dramatically feigns sorrow and despair over his actions.

"'Pologize," your son commands, his head swiveling to look at James expectantly over his shoulder.

James puts on his most sheepish, apologetic smile, looking from his son to you. "I'm very sorry. He's right, your castles are the best. Can you forgive me, love?"

"Aw, of course I forgive you," you say warmly, your amusement manifesting as a wide smile. You lean back so you can get a good view of your son's face when you tell him, "You know, I bet what Daddy really wants is to build a castle with us. I love your presents, bud, but we don't want to leave Daddy out do we?"

He looks down at the block in his little hand. "No," he replies shyly.

"So why don't you ask him to build a castle with us?" You give him a pat on the back before releasing him from your arms. "Go on," you coax.

He steps closer to James, holding the block close to his chest. "We can all build a castle," he offers.

"Yeah?" James' face lights up, and it's not for show. Genuine joy takes over his features as he ruffles your son's hair, responding, "I'd love nothing more, little man."

"But you have to be nice to Mummy!" he demands, his little voice firm and earnest as he looks up at James with wide, serious eyes.

"I promise, I will be on my best behavior," James assures him, his voice sincere as he gives a playful salute. That's enough for your son, because he finally awards James with his very first block, which he accepts with pride.

"Good!" your son cheers, already moving on to the pile of blocks to start stacking them as he proclaims, "Mummy is the best, and we have to show it!"

Your lips part as you suck in a breath, a quiet gasp. Receiving your son's affection never fails to make your heart swell.

You don't feel James' eyes on you, but he's watching— admiring, more like, as he takes in the way that you soften at your son's sweet words. A smitten smile plays at his lips as he agrees, "She is the best, isn't she?"

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

[fartcloudfartcloud]

Simon Riley x Maid!Reader

based on this text post

Summary: Simon has a house cleaner come clean once a month. What happens when she goes on vacation, and you're her replacement?

warnings: sfw but theres tension 😋, will make an nsfw part two if you guys want it :), Simon being big and scary and offputting per usual, lots of internal dialogue

a/n: loved this concept, and since I actually worked a door to door cleaning job I thought this fit so well and needed to write it. hope u enjoy :)

You took a deep breath.

These were the steps you were to take in this job. You had no reason to feel unsafe or in danger of any sort. Yet, the thought of walking up and knocking on this door had your heart in your stomach.

Simon Riley Is what the work order had listed as the clients name. Ex Military. Large German Shepard named Riley. Liked his wooden floors cleaned with vinegar instead of the regular cleaning solution. Nothing too out of the ordinary.

Except for the entry instructions. The small box on the piece of paper that would normally hold a few finely printed words, things such as "Homeowner will be not be home, key is under welcome mat"

or "Homeowner will be home and located in office on second floor, door will be unlocked"

had big, bold font to start. Your manager had to go in and manually change that detail, and knowing her, that must mean this is serious.

The box reads-

"DO NOT ATTEMPT TO OPEN DOOR. HOMEOWNER IS EX MILITARY AND EXTREMELY STRICT. RING FRONT DOORBELL ONCE AND WAIT."

Yeah. Very normal and not at all gut-wrenching.

You keep taking deep breaths as you go through your routine. Read the work order thoroughly once more, try not to shit yourself, go and grab your equipment, and follow the instructions.

Easy. Just follow the routine.

Your equipment is as big and clunky as usual. With a vacuum on your back, a bucket full of microfiber towels, a backpack full of chemicals, and knee pads on both knees, you knew for sure you were a sight for sore eyes.

You're not quiet as you walk either, each step making every plastic piece of your puzzle clunk and scrape in a cacophony of reminders of why you were here. You thunk and bang your way up the front porch, eyes everywhere but the front door, still taking deep breaths as you try to just focus on your surroundings, taking note of the nice front garden and walkway as you pass.

You finally settle on the front porch, your arms dropping the bucket and preparing yourself for the big push to start this job.

One ring, you remind yourself. Then wait. Deep breath.

You look up to find the door bell, hand pulling up in a search for the button when you see him.

He must have heard you, you decide as he stands behind the screen door with his arms crossed.

Simon Riley is massive, standing what feels like a clean foot taller than you, big muscled arms bulging from his tight t-shirt. They're as big as your head, his thighs probably twice so. His face was pulled down in a heated gaze, though the bottom half of his face was covered by a black mask. He was scary as he stood there, his aura menacing and doing nothing to sooth your nerves.

Yeah, ex Military makes sense, Jesus christ.

"Ya pissed of my dog, allat noise." You jump, the deep british voice startling you as he begins chastising you. His face frowns down it you, his eyes angry. You're speachless, "Well? Talk."

You stammer as you realize you were just sitting and staring in awe, mind suddenly back on track and then derailing again as you have no idea what to say.

The routine, Jesus christ the routine what's the next step. You scramble for your binder, pulling it open to his work order page and looking up at him as you muster up the courage to speak.

"Um, are you, uh, Simon Riley, sir?" You ask, stuttering and staggering between every word.

He reaches foreword and opens the screen door, getting a good look at you first before he can respond.

"Hm. You the cleaning lady?" He questions, the hand not holding the door open now stuffed in the pocket of his pants.

"Mhm, yeah, im- uh. I'm from Housekeeping Heros, you have an appointment for, um-" you start rustling through more pages of the binder, desperate to find the information, needing to prove to yourself more then him you were in the right place.

"I know i 've an appointment," He holds out his hand and halts your movements. You relax, all the horrible conclusions you were drawing coming to an end. Though, as per usual, they were quickly replaced with new ones, his voice still short and snippy with you.

Deep breaths, girl, we can do this.

He points to your small pile of equipment. "Ya need 'elp?"

You shake your head no, suprised he'd offered. Though he just responds with a head shake, motioning to give it here with his hands. And you do, you don't even second guess it, handing him your bucket and backpack without a second word, something in you submitting to him without a care in the world.

He turns around and walks everything into the kitchen where he gently rests it on the table, softer then you were expecting. You follow him in, feeling like a stray with your legs tucked between your legs as you fet settled. He looks at you expectantly.

Not sure what he's looking for, you start explaining the cleaning process, using your binder as a reference and pointing to each section. He stands behind you, arms crossed again and chin tucked down as he nods along with your words.

He points to the vacuum on your back, "Not round Riley, ya 'ear me?" He scolds. You take note of the large German Shepard snorring lightly on the couch.

"And none o' this shite," He kicks at your knee pads, pointing to a mop he had in the corner. Thank God, cleaning on your knees always sucked, and why your bullshit company made you do it anyways was a marvel.

"Oh, thank you!" You chirped up. He seemed to scowl further when your voice pitched up, so you slink back in on yourself. Understood, point taken, sir.

You still were not feeling great, the pit in your stomach unrelenting as you organize your stuff.

He looms close by. You figured he would, not doubting the "extremely strict" next to "ex military" on your work order at all.

You start with the first step of your process, filling the bucket up in the sink and soaking your towels in the cleaning solution.

"Where's yer boss?" He grumbles from behind you, making you jump.

"Um, Nancy?" Bucket now full, you throw the towels into the warm water with a dash of solution.

"Eh, whatever her name is," He grumbles. How polite.

"Haha, um." You giggle akwardly, "she's with family right now, I think," you stutter, trying to speak loud enough that he could hear you clearly.

He just hmphs in response. As your towels soak in the water, you reach for your extendable feather duster and start wiping the top corners of the room.

"Whats yer name?" He grumbles. It shocks you when he says it. He couldn't seem to care less about the other workers name, but he was interested in yours?

You told him, quiet, "sir," peeping out after. He just hmms again, leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed as he watched you work.

It was nerve-wracking, having him over your shoulder. He hadn't said anything yet, but it felt like you could feel the complaints waiting to come. You just kept up the deep breathing, taking the clothes out of the water and dispersing them on the countertops throughout the house.

He had a very large home, no mcmansion that took up half the street, but a pretty place tucked in a nice down town area. Honestly, if the home and neighborhood wasn't so gorgeous, you probably would've turned around and told your supervisor to give the damn house to someone else.

But thankfully, or not, Simon seemed to harbor a certain comfort for his homes presentation. The indoors of his home reflected it as well, the house put together like it was being staged, every inch perfectly in place.

Maybe that's why it's not so surprising when the first complaint does manage to leave his lips in the form of a hiss as you go to open a cabinet door.

"Oi, what do you think yer doing?" He hisses, rushing over to grab your wrist and pull it from the knob. You gasp as he's suddenly in your space and touching you, flinching as he does.

"Um, I just gotta m-make sure the insides don't need to be wiped down, sir," your muscles shake as you speak— him actually coming over and grabbing had you a little shook up.

He waved his hand infront of your face, dismissing whatever you have to say, "None of that. Don't need'a open nothing that ain't yours." you just nod, taking your first breath once he's finally out of your space.

That would've been a very good thing to include in the work order, Nancy.

Well, at least that's a few less things to worry about cleaning, though you may have failed your task of not shitting your pants, because good lord. He's right back to his perch on the wall, observing you carefully now.

You get into your routine, floating room to room and doing each task per the work order. You slowly scrub the slight musky smoke smell that lingers throughout, instead replacing it with the smell of cinnamon and detergent.

He likes watching you work, but he knows he doesn't show it, not a flutter or twitch anywhere to be seen. He growls small, careful, watch it, leave it, keeping you on edge through every movement.

You do move much faster than your college though, much more gracefully. He notices your wandering eyes, lingering on the photos on the wall and the dates on his calender. He let's you get away with it, for now. Figured he'd picked on you enough, should probably just let you finish your work.

That is, until you approach the end of your routine. You'd been scrubbing and whipping and Simon snipping and snyding for almost an hour now, you'd made excellent time and you hope Simon knows that.

It's all you can think about, actually. Him and the way he has you doting on him, some broken part of you combined with the fear his giant stature instills has you easily folding to do whatever he says and respond to his every grunt. It has your mind a little clouded, even more so as you swing through every step of your routine with practiced care.

It was finally time for the last step of the routine, and you shivered out a breath as you unwrapped the vacuum. Simon had sank a little further away, now sitting at the kitchen table with his eyes glued to a newspaper, anxiety settling slightly without his prying eyes.

You get the cord untangled and laid out across the carpet, searching the perimeter of the room for an outlet. You couldn't see any in the open, and not wanting to risk pissing off Simon for moving furniture, you start to round the corner in your search.

Suddenly, you're against the wall, a giant hand against your sternum as the breath is knocked out of your lungs. His face is in yours, eyebrows furrowed and breath hot on your face as he spoke.

"Tha fuck ya think your doin'?" youre confused and breathless, small under him as he leers above.

"I dont- im-" "Been nothing but nice to ya since you clambered yer way up my damn porch, and I gave you one fuckin' rule." His voiced is raised at you now, chastising you in that brazen, gravely tone. "One! and what do you go and try to do?"

You're just confused, what had you done to elicit this response from him? You thought he was complacent and quiet at the table, what of his million little rules could you have broken?

That's when you see it. Her, you should say. Rylie, the big German Shepard he'd warned you to by no means vacuum around, was bundled up on the couch, inches from where you stand.

Fuck. how had you forgotten.

"Sir, i- I didn't realize, I didn't know she was there sir i-" You desperately try to make an excuse for yourself, but he's just shaking his head at you.

"Do ya think flutterin yer eyelashes a little is gonna make everything better?" He mocks you, his big blue eyes locked on you. You shake your head no, half of it to answer him, the other half just you shivering where you stand.

"No sir- I'm sorry sir I didnt- I forgot you told me and-"

He's clicking his tongue at you, a tsk tsk to put you to shame. To your suprise, each click when straight to your core, and suddenly the heat in the room is rising. Your body is flushed and your sure your face matches, if the way his eyes crinkle when he looks up at you says anything.

His hand doesn't leave your sternum, as he speaks, Inches from your face, "too good at this to be forgetting," he shakes his head, the praise a little shocking, and the soft, "too pretty," that follows it hammers the fact.

You breath is caught in your chest again as he leans into your ear, eyes wide and mouth clamped as he murmurs a deep.

"So how do you think I should go bout making sure you remember?"

[saddleups]

the way you write a submissive man...please please do one with arthur. not so much a femdom but a putting him "in his place" type beat if that makes sense?

★ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 . . . 3.9k

★ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 . . . request , complete. ARTHUR MORGAN X F!READER !! 18+ SMUT MDNI !!

★ 𝐂𝐖 . . . sub!arthur . reader ties arthur up . withholding orgasm . "good boy" praise . p in v .... the usual p_rn without a plot !

★ 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 . . . luuuuuv a sub arthur so i wrote this embarrassingly fast !! and i want to formally apologize if i've been spamming the tag ??? drabbles are my bread and butter so i can get 'em done in like two days if i lock in .... anyways much like my james drabble(s) been experimenting with longer exposition. less dialogue-y more scene setting ?? idk im gonna stfu now lol

Feigning warmth in Colter was a beast all its own, though Mother Nature offered a rare mercy—the morning chill lingered, crisp but not biting. The cabin, a sanctuary of dim, crackling warmth, did most of the work in coaxing a semblance of comfort. A fire flickered, throwing erratic shadows across the room, embers dancing like whispered secrets in the stillness. Seated at your vanity, the door slightly ajar, you could hear the cabin stirring to life. Soft murmurs, snatches of idle chatter, and deep sighs wove through the wooden walls—conversations wandering from the philosophical to the trivial, questions about what there was to eat, what there was to drink.

A faint knock broke the quiet—a mere courtesy, as the familiar rhythm of his footsteps had already betrayed Arthur’s presence. “Mornin’, darlin’,” he drawled, slipping into the room without waiting for a reply, his usual ease faltering when he noticed your state, sitting casually on the vanity chair in your undergarments. His gaze softened in surprise. “Sorry—didn’t mean to walk in on ya’.” You gave him a nod, a hollow gesture of reassurance, though something within felt distant, a dull weight settling in your chest. It was a feeling unshaken by his soft eyes, by the habitual endearments that had once been enough.

You kept your gaze on the vanity mirror, watching him through sidelong glances as he lingered, a mix of apology and something else tugging at his expression. “It’d gone on longer than I thought,” Arthur mumbled, shifting uncomfortably, referring to some simple errand—just retrieving supplies before your time in Colter dwindled to its end. You hummed in response, a indifferent acknowledgment as you absentmindedly gathered your hair.

A low, almost frustrated scoff escaped him. “Aw, c’mon, darlin’…” He stepped forward, his rough hands rising to rest on your shoulders, his lips brushing the nape of your neck in a tentative attempt to break the silence. His touch lingered, relishing the warmth of your skin against his calloused fingertips, as though he could remind you of something that once was there. But you rolled your shoulders, slipping from his grasp, closing the door with an unsettling finality.

Arthur’s gaze followed, catching the faint, fading scent of you in the air as you pulled away, his brow furrowing with a pang he barely masked. There was confusion in his silence, frustration pressing against the seams of his patience. He sank onto the chair you’d just abandoned, placing his weathered hat on the table behind him as if setting down an unspoken challenge. His voice, rougher now, tore through the heavy quiet. “You gonna tell me what I did, or are we just gonna keep playin’ the silent game?”

As you stand behind him, the air thickens with a silence that feels almost tactile. Arthur’s gaze lingers on you, curiosity and a flicker of wariness in his eyes, though he says nothing. You lift the ribbon slowly, letting it slide between your fingers, the soft fabric grazing his roughened skin. He shivers, his breathing slowing, waiting.

Taking his hands, you bring them to rest behind his back. His fingers curl, instinctively seeking yours, but you ease them apart, guiding his hands to lie open. Carefully, you begin to wrap the ribbon around his wrists, the silk gliding over his calloused skin, each loop deliberate, firm. Arthur clears his throat softly, his voice roughened by the stillness. “What’re ya up to, darlin’?” he murmurs, his tone somewhere between intrigue and uncertainty.

You don’t answer, only continue winding the ribbon, feeling the warmth of his pulse under your touch. He inhales, slow and steady, watching your hands, his breath hitching slightly as you pull the fabric snug. “Ya' really think this’ll hold me?” he teases, the edge of a smile playing at his lips, though a hint of nervousness betrays him.

“Doesn't need it to,” you reply softly, knotting the ribbon firmly, your voice barely more than a murmur.

He shifts, rolling his shoulders, testing the silk, his expression turning serious. “If there’s somethin’ I’ve done wrong… ya oughta tell me. Ain’t fair, keepin’ me in the dark like this.”

Your fingers linger at his wrists, a thumb brushing gently over his pulse, feeling the rhythm quicken under your touch. “I don’t think you’d understand,” you whisper, the words spilling out before you can stop them, loaded with the weight of what remains unsaid.

Arthur closes his eyes for a moment, leaning slightly into your touch, resignation seeping into his voice. “Try me,” he breathes, the words low and rough.

Your hand slips away, leaving a lingering sensation as you both feel the growing desire between you. An insaitable hunger that has been dormant, waiting to be fed. You kiss him fiercely, teeth clashing in passion. Your mouths open and tongues intertwine, merging into one. Arthur moans as he is caught off guard by the intensity of the kiss.

He has always been the one to take control, prideful and strong, reveling in your pleasure and wearing it like a badge of honor. But now, he finds himself on the receiving end. The thought of it ignites something within him, making him painfully hard against his denim. It's instinct for him to lift you up and press you onto the mattress, promising to "take care" of you in his slow drawl. The lovemaking is intense, resulting in bruises and soreness that you both relish in. He enjoys leaving marks on your body that remind you that you belong to him. Instead he's seated with a dainty ribbon tying his hands together, and for whatever reason he refuses to break free.

It must be your newfound dominance. It ignites something else in him, something instinctual. You straddle his lap, feeling the pressure of his bulge against you like a perfect fit. Your kisses become more urgent and you bite his lip, savoring the sweet sounds that escape from him. Your hands claw at his back before tangling in his hair, pulling hard enough to expose his neck for you to explore with your tongue. Placing open mouth kisses along his jaw, grazing your teeth against his freckled flesh. Each movement causes his length to twitch, it only encourages you to further turn the dial.

"Yer a mean lady, tyin’ me up like this," Arthur grunts.

You chuckle darkly and reply, "you've been a bad boy Arthur. A very bad boy."

"Have I now?" Arthur's voice was low, a challenge in his eyes despite his bound hands. "And what exactly do ya' plan to do about it?"

You leaned in close, your breath hot against his ear. "Everything," you whispered, letting the word hang between you like a promise.

Slowly, deliberately, you began to unbutton his shirt, your fingers trailing over each newly exposed inch of skin. Arthur's breath hitched, his muscles tensing under your touch. You took your time, savoring the anticipation building between you. When his chest was bare, you ran your nails lightly down his torso, watching goosebumps rise in their wake. Arthur groaned, straining against the ribbon.

"Darlin'," he growled, "you're playin' with fire."

A wicked glint flashes in your eye as you smirk. "Pretty bold words coming from someone who's tied up." You roll your hips and Arthur instinctively mirrors your movements. "You could break out of those bonds with ease, baby." You taunt him, relishing in the heat rising on his cheeks.

"But you won't, will you?"

Arthur grunts in defeat. "No, ma'am."

"You're enjoying this, aren''t you?"

He hesitates before admitting, "Yes, I do." A warm hue of rose kisses his freckled cheeks.

You smiled, a predatory glint in your eyes. "Good boy," you purred, rewarding him with a slow, sensual roll of your hips. Arthur's head fell back, a low moan escaping his lips. You could feel him straining against his trousers, desperate for more friction. But you weren't done teasing him yet. Your fingers traced the line of his jaw, feeling the rough stubble beneath your touch. "You've always been so strong, so in control," you murmured, your lips brushing against his ear. "But now? Now you're mine to do with as I please."

You nipped at his earlobe, drawing a sharp intake of breath from Arthur. His muscles tensed, biceps flexing as he fought the urge to break free from his silken bonds.

"Darlin'," he growled, his voice husky with desire,

"Don'tchu 'darlin'' me," you chided, pulling back to look him in the eyes. "You've had your way for so long. Now it's my turn."

Your hands slid down his chest, fingers tracing the scars and contours of his body. Arthur's breath quickened as you reached the waistband of his trousers. With agonizing slowness, you began to undo his belt.

"Christ," Arthur muttered, his hips lifting involuntarily.

You tsked, pressing him back down. "Patience."

Finally, you freed him from the confines of his clothing. Arthur hissed as the cool air hit his heated skin. His impressive member rested against his taut abdomen, slick with the beads of pre-cum. You wrapped your hand around him, giving a few experimental strokes that had him groaning and straining against the ribbon.

"Look at you," you murmured, your voice low and husky. "So desperate, so needy. All for me."

Arthur's eyes were dark with desire, his chest heaving as he struggled to maintain his composure. "Please," he rasped, the word barely audible.

You leaned in, your lips ghosting over his. "Please what, Arthur? Use your words."

He groaned, frustration and arousal warring in his expression. "Please... touch me I...Need you so bad, darlin'."

A slow smile spread across your face. "That's better," you purred, rewarding him with a deep, passionate kiss. Your hand resumed its movements, stroking him with a maddening mix of pressure and speed. Arthur's hips bucked, seeking more friction, more touch, more of everything you were offering. You broke the kiss, trailing your lips down his neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin. Arthur's head fell back, a low moan rumbling in his chest.

"God, darlin'," Arthur gasped, his voice rough with need. "Yer killin' me here."

You smiled against his skin, your teeth grazing his pulse point. "Are you gonna be a good boy for me?" you murmured. Slowly, teasingly, you slid down his body, trailing kisses as you went. Arthur's muscles tensed under your touch, his bound hands clenching and unclenching with the effort of restraining himself. When you reached his cock, you paused, your breath hot against him. "I asked you Arthur, are you gonna be a good boy for me?" Arthur's hips jerked involuntarily, seeking contact. You placed a hand on his thigh, holding him still waiting for his response.

He's completely undone by you, a panting sweating mess. The eagerness on his face hard to miss. Whatta sight. Notorious outlaw, enforcer of the Van Der Linde Gang, whimpering at your touch. Begging for release. as if you held the answers to the universe.

"I'm waiting."

Arthur swallows, "Please make me cum"

Your lips curled into a wicked smile. "That's not quite what I asked for, Arthur," you purred, your breath ghosting over his aching length. "But I suppose it'll do... for now." Without warning, you took him into your mouth, relishing the strangled gasp that escaped his lips. Your tongue swirled around his tip before you slowly, torturously, took him deeper. Arthur's hips bucked involuntarily, but your firm grip on his thighs kept him in place.

"Christ almighty," he groaned, his voice hoarse with desire. You could feel the tension in his muscles, the way he strained against the silk ribbon binding his wrists. But he didn't break free, didn't try to take control. He was yours, completely at your mercy. You worked him with your mouth and hands, alternating between teasing licks and deep, hungry strokes. Arthur's breathing grew ragged, punctuated by low moans and muttered curses. You could feel him getting close, his thighs trembling under your touch.

Just as he teetered on the edge, you pulled away. Arthur let out a frustrated groan, his hips lifting off the chair, seeking contact.

"Not yet," you whispered, your voice husky with your own arousal. "I'm not done with you."

You stood, slowly removing your undergarments as Arthur watched with hungry eyes. His gaze raked over your body, drinking in every curve and line.

"Yer a goddamn tease," he growled, but there was no real anger in his voice - only desperate need.

You straddled him again, positioning yourself just above his straining member. "And you love it," you murmured, capturing his lips in a searing kiss.

Slowly, torturously, you lowered yourself onto him. Arthur groaned into your mouth as you enveloped him, the sensation almost overwhelming after all the teasing. You set a languid pace, rolling your hips in a way that had him seeing stars. Both of you erupted in a fit of moans, uncaring of who witnessed it outside the wooden doors.

"Darlin'," Arthur panted, breaking the kiss. "Please... I needa touch you."

“Answer my question then.”

He’s almost confused, mind completely lost in you. “Wh-what was it?”

“Are you gonna be a good boy?”

Arthur bites his lips, his voice above a whisper. “y-yes.”

With a wicked smile, you slowly pull yourself off of him, leaving only the tip of his throbbing cock at your entrance. You taunt him, grinding your hips teasingly, making him think he'll be engulfed by you once again.

"What's that? I couldn't hear ya, cowboy."

His pleading eyes meet yours as he begs, "Please, god yes! I'll do anything for you." The desperation in his voice only fuels your desire to dominate him completely.

You savored the power you held over him, a cheeky smile playing on your lips. With calculated slowness, you reached behind him and untied the ribbon, knowing he was at your mercy. Your body pressed against his, the heat between you palpable as he devoured you like a starving man to a meal. He took your nipple in his mouth, biting and sucking with an intensity that sent electric waves pulsating through your body, nearly causing you to collapse.

"Ar-Arthur!" you moaned in pleasure.

"Told ya I needed ya' darlin'," Arthur growled, desperation evident in his voice. "So please - please untie me. Yer makin' a grown man beg for christs sake."

You complied and his hands were free to roam your body with a primal hunger that left you breathless. His calloused fingers dug into your hips, directing your movements as he thrust up to meet you with a ferocity that made your head spin. The change in angle only intensified the pleasure, sending shivers down your spine and overwhelming every sense until all that mattered was this moment of pure desire between the two of you.

The delicate vanity chair beneath you both creaked in unison with your movements, the wood straining under the weight. His thick cock filled you completely, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

"Does it feel good, my sweet girl?" His deep voice rumbled, his hands gripping your hips to guide your movements. You could only nod, your eyes closed in bliss as he continued to fill you with his skilled touch. "Yes, Arthur," you gasped, feeling yourself lose control under his expert ministrations. "You're so good for me, but—."

Leaning forward, your lips brushing his ear as you whispered, "—I want to try something new." Arthur's half lidded eyes squinted with intrigue, a low growl rumbling in his chest. "What'd you have in mind, darlin'?" he murmured, his hands sliding up your back.

With a mischievous smile, you climbed off his lap, taking his hand and leading him to the bed. "Be good for me and lie down," you commanded softly. Arthur complied, his eyes never leaving yours as he stretched out on the mattress. You straddled him again, but this time facing away from him. Arthur's breath hitched as you lowered yourself onto him, the new angle sending sparks of pleasure through both of you. His hands found your hips, guiding you as you began to move.

"Christ," Arthur groaned, his fingers digging into your flesh. You reveled in the sensation of him filling you completely, the new angle allowing him to hit spots that made you see stars. Arthur's hands roamed your body, caressing your back, your thighs, your breasts. You leaned back, bracing yourself on his chest as you rode him with increasing fervor.

Arthur panted your name, his voice rough with desire. "Gonna be the death of me." You chuckled breathlessly, grinding your hips in a way that made him groan. "What a way to go," you teased.

His hands tightened on your hips, guiding your movements as he thrust up to meet you. The room filled with the sounds of your combined pleasure, gasps and moans mingling with the creak of the bed. Taking Arthur’s hand to your front, you slip them between your legs. His rough palm covered yours, “Help me with this.” You cry, as he guides your movements, circling your sensitive clit. The dual sensations of his thick length inside you and the pressure on your glit had you spiraling. Arthur could feel your core tightening around his girth, his undoing was just as close as yours.

"I'm—" you panted, arching your back, "Oh God, Arthur, I'm—"

His growl reverberates through your body as his hips buck uncontrollably beneath you. The heat emanating from him is almost suffocating, but you relish in it, knowing what it means. With malicious intent, you raise your hips just enough for the tip of his cock to graze your dripping entrance, teasing and taunting him until he whines with frustration.

"Do you want to cum inside me, baby?" you purr, a wicked gleam in your eyes as you slide the tip out completely and rub your slick juices against his shaft.

A beautiful sound escapes Arthur's lips as he grasps at the sheets beneath him, his toes curling in pleasure and desperation.

"Please," he begs, aching to be filled by you. "I want to feel your tight pussy on me, I want to fill you up with my hot cum. Let me, my sweet girl," he pleads, his need evident in every fiber of his being.

Pleased with his answer, you turn your frame to face him instead. And with a praise you sink into him. Good boy. The best boy. Arthur let out a low, guttural moan as you enveloped him once more, the feeling of you wrapping around him sending shockwaves through his entire being. His hands instinctively found their way to your thighs, gripping them with an urgency that only fueled your desire. As you began to ride him once again, an orgasmic rhythm was established, each thrust igniting more of that fiery need within you.

"Y-you feel incredible," he gasped between breaths, his voice nearly breaking as he tried to keep pace with you. You could feel him swelling deeper inside, a perfect fit that left no room for anything but the two of you in this moment. The heat between your bodies was electrifying, every sensation heightened as you drove down harder, the sound of skin slapping together echoing against the walls. Arthur’s eyes were glued to where you joined, filled with a mixture of lust and awe that made your heart race.

"You like how I take you?" you teased breathlessly, leaning forward just enough to tease his lips with yours before pulling back again, knowing how it drove him wild. His eyes flared with need as he panted, "God girl! yes, don't stop."

You could feel the tension building within both of you—every thrust bringing you closer to the edge. You let out soft whimper, “give me your cum.”

Arthur's breath hitched at your words, the raw desperation slashing through him like a blade. "Y-yes, I will, just… just a little longer," he gasped, his grip tightening on your thighs as you continued to ride him ravenously, drawing out every sensation to its fullest. The sounds of your bodies colliding echoed in the room, punctuated by the sweet notes of pleasure that filled the air.

The world outside ceased to exist; there was only the rhythm of your bodies moving together, the intimacy of the moment wrapping around you both like a warm embrace. You could feel the heat pooling deep within you, an insistent throb that demanded release. Your breaths came quicker as you leaned back slightly, one hand finding its way to your clit again to push yourself even closer.

"Arthur," you breathed heavily, looking back at him through semi-lidded eyes. "I want to feel you explode inside me."

His eyes danced with a mix of longing and determination as he nodded vigorously, his body twitching beneath you. "You have no idea what yer doin' to me," he murmured hoarsely.

Every thrust became more urgent, more fervent as he chased both of your climaxes. His hands mapped your body, fingers digging into your skin with just enough

pressure to send shivers racing down your spine. You could feel the tension coiling tighter, an exquisite build-up that threatened to explode at any moment. Each time you sank down onto him, you felt as if you were drawing ever closer to a point of no return, the heat between you reaching a fever pitch.

“Arthur—” you gasped, your voice trembling with need as the edge of bliss danced tantalizingly close. His eyes were locked onto yours, fierce and filled with promise. “I can’t hold on much longer.”

“Just a little more,” he urged, his voice gravelly and filled with intensity. “I want us both to go together.”

His words ignited something primal within you; you changed your angle slightly, moving in a way that made him fill you deeper, harder. The overwhelming sensations drove tears of pleasure to your eyes, and your breath became ragged with the effort of holding back.

“Please,” he urged again, his hips thrusting up in desperation, urging you even further toward that peak of ecstasy. “I’m so close… just let go.”

With every thrust and swirl of your hips, it felt as though you were unraveling at the seams. Your body was responding to his every movement, every whisper and every plea pulling you deeper under the spell of pleasure. You could feel the dam within you beginning to crack, a sweet pressure building that begged for release.

“Arthur, I—” You choked out as his grip on your thighs shifted, pulling you down hard against him, the sensation sending shockwaves through your entire being. “I can’t hold it back!”

“Jus’ let it happen!” His voice was urgent, filled with fervor that matched your own.

With one final thrust, you spiraled over the edge. A wave of ecstasy crashed over you like a tidal wave, pulling every part of you under as you cried out his name. You felt your walls quiver around him, clamping down tightly as your body seized in pleasure, each pulse radiating through your veins like the sweetest venom. Arthur followed closely behind, his own orgasm tearing through him with a force that left you breathless. “Yes! Yes!” he shouted, lost in the depth of his release as he filled you completely, repeating your name like a hymn. The warmth of him inside you sent aftershocks of bliss coursing through your body, intensifying your own climax until it felt like stars were exploding behind your closed eyelids.

The world around you faded into nothingness; all that remained was the intoxicating rhythm of your pulse and the sound of ragged breaths mingling together. You collapse atop of him, cock still firmly placed inside you. You refuse for him to remove it, “let’s just stay like this for a minute,”

Arthur chuckles hoarsely, his own throat sore from his relentless moaning. “I ain’t arguin’, you really did a number on me today pretty girl."

[writefightandflightclub]

Blorbo thought of the day #1

More: Steven Grant x GN! reader

Author’s note: Wanted to start doing a “Blorbo thought of the day” thing. Idea is that I will share a snippet of one of the many blorbo scenarios which pop into my head on the daily, but which I don’t have time to develop into a full fic. Sometimes it will be smut, sometimes fluff, sometimes angst, sometimes… a surprise? And I don’t mean literally every day, but whenever I can! This one turned into more of a smutty blurb, but I intend for others to be much shorter snippets, bits of dialogue, headcanons etc..

Who better to start with than Steven?

Steven is a gentle lover; until he isn’t. (In which you gag on Steven’s cock and it sends him FERAL.)

NSFW/18+ Minors interacting will be blocked.

Steven Grant is a gentle lover.

Until he isn’t.

You are on your knees for him as he stands in front of you. Hadn’t even managed to strip off his work clothes yet before you were stripping them for him. Undoing his belt, and peeling away his trousers and boxers. Pushing his back up against the thick wooden beam of his attic room and taking him eagerly into your mouth.

He’s soft. Careful. Always. Let’s you take the lead.

Tonight is no exception.

Steven rests his hand gingerly on the crown of your head as you suck him - nothing but a gentle, reassuring weight. His long eyelashes flutter as he flits his gaze over you; the angel -divine being- making him feel so good.

You didn’t care who came through the door, you’d said. Whether it was him or Marc or Jake - you were getting down on your knees. Had been thinking about it all day.

But you’d told him, when he walked through the door, that you’d been glad it was him.

He’s still not used to this. To being wanted. To how good your mouth feels wrapped around him. Being buried in you.

Steven is a gentle lover. Makes a point of it. Never wants to hurt you. Push you. Take anything you don’t want to give. Has never even considered getting rough with you.

But tonight, he can’t help but think about what it would be like… just to take a little more.

Maybe because he’s had a stressful day at the museum. Maybe because he’s been thinking about coming home to you all day too and relieving his frustrations.

Whatever the reason, Steven can’t help but think about it; because he knows that the others are rougher with you, sometimes. That they don’t treat you like you’re about to break - like he does.

What were the words he’d heard?

Jake: soft dom. Marc: service top. Him: vanilla, submissive.

And so, he can’t help but think about it, because if they’d arrived tonight instead of him, wouldn’t this all be different?

The thought of that, combined with the feel of your velvet lips and the welcoming, warm wet cave of your mouth makes Steven so hard he can see stars blur the edge of his vision. Makes him grow over eager as you work your pretty mouth on him, bucking his hips and driving his length enthusiastically home, deeper into the cave of you. His hand gripping the back of your head just a little tighter than usual in his desperation to come undone.

He didn’t mean to. Didn’t mean to translate this desire from out of his head into the real world. You didn’t expect it.

It takes you a little by surprise.

Enough, to make you gag on Steven’s cock, just for a second; until you are surging off of him, eyelashes wet as you blink away the instant, spiking surge of tears.

Steven means to say something. He really does. Feels awful. Means to say “sorry, love, I’m so sorry”.

To soothe you. To do something.

But he… doesn’t.

Because…. Fuck.

He liked it.

A lot.

To his great relief, you seem unphased too, your lips curling up into a little smile before you curl them once again around his girth.

You continue: still gentle, still soft. Still in control. Setting your own pace.

Except this time Steven is inwardly going feral.

The thought of you gagging on him again. The thought of you surging off of him because he’s too big. The noises you made. The feeling of your throat convulsing around his cock. Even the tears in your eyes and the thought that you want him so much you’ll try so valiantly to take him all.

He’s panting. It’s awoken something in him. He’s throwing his head back against the beam. Eyes are screwing shut. His teeth are biting into his lower lip. His fingers are curling into your hair and - oh God. It feels divinely good but he wants…

Oh God.

He wants to push you down on him until you heave with the swell of him and he’s resisting the urge and you’re sucking him so deep and he can’t take it because he wants -needs to- bury himself even deeper.

Needs more and he’s aching for it.

“-Steven,” you purr, looking up at him, lips plumped and glistening with spit and god. “If you don’t want to make me gag on you again, you can always just ask. I can tell you liked it.”

He opens his eyes. Looks down at you on your knees. His mouth dropped open in surprise, and his legs nervy and trembling. A wracked, disbelieving moan spools from his chest, his cock almost bursting at the thought of it. Of making you choke on him. “W-would you d-do that for me, love?”

Your eyes glint with mischief. With want. “Steven.” You kiss the swollen head of his cock, swirling your tongue around the contours of him until he twitches, nearly spilling himself right then. “I’d do anything for you.”

He releases a shaky breath.

Steven is a gentle lover; until he isn’t.

Until he fists his hand in your hair and drives you down on his shaft, losing all composure as he hears you, feels you, sees you gagging on his size, your hands pressed calmly to his bared thighs as he holds you there and you let him.

And, as he does you fold the flat of your tongue around him. Let him take you, fill you, fuck into the circle of you, your throat resisting; gagging on him.

Steven can’t take it.

Didn’t know he would like this. Never would have guessed.

But within moments, he is emitting a ragged moan. He is pulsing his hot release down your throat. Giving you everything, as you eagerly take it. Swallow him down, until he’s drained; empty. Your hands smoothing up and down his shuddering thighs. Your tongue cleaning every last drop of mess from him. Humming against his softening shaft.

“Was that good, baby?”

He thinks he might black out. Can’t speak.

Can’t speak; until he can. “Love. C-Can we do it again?”

Your mouth curls into a smile; before you wrap it all the way around him.

When it comes to you, Steven can never get enough. He always want more.

At the same time though, you’re more than enough for him.

You’re everything, and he’s so happy he was the one to walk through the door.

[winged-self-indulgence]

hhhhhhhh can you tell I'm not used to doing bratty reader-inserts?

“I don’t have to listen to you! For all I know, you’re just some imaginary monster inside my head. You can’t tell me what to do!”

Surely famous last words were supposed to be far more eloquent than those. In your defense, you hadn’t meant it completely. You were just taunting the demon, trying to rile them up a bit. After all, it wasn’t fair that they were eons old and could order you around whenever they felt like it. Wasn’t turnabout supposed to be fair play?

Apparently, Z didn’t think so. The moment the words left your lips you felt the atmosphere change. Your heart lurched, feeling as though you had just accidentally missed a step on a staircase. Like you had selected the wrong dialogue option in an RPG and caused the cheerful background music to stop. Past your racing thoughts, you could see Z just staring at you; chin still resting on the heel of their fisted left hand. Smile as wide and razored as ever. Eyes the same fiery-hued gleam.

The tail though. Their tail had stopped moving.

You pressed your lips together and debated retracting your words, until the demon spoke. “I thought we’d moved past all that already,” Z commented lazily. “I know human memory is short, but I didn’t think you were that much of a scatterbrain, Dove. Come here and let me remind you.”

The urge to apologize fizzled and died. With a huff you folded your arms across your chest and stuck your chin out stubbornly. “Well, who knows. Maybe I’m just very creative and dreamed you all up to entertain me,” you replied with airiness you didn’t quite feel. “You’re doing a terrible job, by the way.”

Z’s golden eyes lit up behind their curtain of hair. “Aw, I’d love to be part of your dreams, sweetheart,” he replied, a feral grin hooking one side of his lips higher than the other, exposing canines that were noticeably longer and sharper than the rest of his already sharklike jaws.

“I’m serious!” You scowled, annoyed that he seemed to be toying with you. “I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever seen you outside this…wherever this is.”

You gestured around to indicate the bar. The bar where no one ever seemed to take notice of you or Z. Where you’d never ordered nor paid for your own drinks, and yet they always appeared in front of you without fail. The bar whose name you always forgot the following morning when you woke up in your own bed with no memory of how you got home in the first place.

“Then come closer, and let me refresh your memory, Dove,” Z cooed, holding out a hand across the table, palm up expectantly.

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. You puffed out your cheeks and glared. “Uh, didn’t you hear me? I said no.”

Z blinked, finally reacting to your insolent attitude. He chuckled low and tilted his head to the side as if to question if you were really defying him. The motion sent his thick hair cascading to the side, a wave of soft brown falling to reveal one ruby-red eye. In an instant, the hand that had been resting placidly on the tabletop darted faster than a snake, locking tight around your wrist like a hunter’s trap.

“You clearly don’t remember who’s in charge right now, sweetheart,” they said, dragging you over the table with ease. “Don’t be a brat unless you’re ready for the consequences, doll. I said come here.”

With a tug, Z had you yanked onto the table, your upper body pressed flat against the cool wooden surface while your legs remained partly kneeling on your seat for balance. You squirmed, unable to push yourself upright with one of your hands trapped in theirs.

"I'll do whatever I want," you scoffed and tried to yank yourself free, but Z’s fingers were like iron manacles. Trying to use your other hand as leverage only got it trapped too, joining it’s sibling in Z’s grip. "You're all talk, Mr. Big Bad Demon Royalty!"

Z’s free hand grasped your chin, forcing you to look at him. He smiled and leaned down, angling your head so that his smoky breath brushed over your lips. “You really enjoy testing my patience, don’t you, Dove? I think I’ve spoiled you too much. Guess I’ll have to teach you a lesson you won’t forget.”

For a moment your breath hitched, caught between an exciting frisson of terror, and then bemused curiosity when Z didn’t immediately move. Then you felt it. Something warm, smooth, yet oddly shaped coiled around one ankle and then another. You wrenched your neck around and gaped at the shadowy black tendrils coiling around your limbs, dragging them apart with barely any effort despite your instinctive rebellion. The shifting darkness pooled below you, a black hole beneath your feet from which rose a writhing mass of twisting, twining, variously shaped appendages. All different, but all sharing Z’s distinct colouring: obsidian black fading to blood red.

Several of them squirmed beneath the fabric of your jeans, sliding into your underwear to tease. Two vanished up your shirt, the tips splitting apart to latch onto your nipples and suck. One curled up to your face, dripping a thick, sticky white liquid that stained your lips and tongue when it forced its way into your mouth.

All the while Z watched you with all the fanged pleasure of someone watching their favourite TV show. Grinning while you gagged on the tendril stuffing your throat barely inches from them, both of your hands still trapped in one of his.

“Oh my,” Z taunted. “Whatever happened to all that bravado, Dove? Be grateful I’m taking it so easy on you. You’re going to come as many times as I want, baby. And by the end, I expect a heartfelt apology, or you won’t like what happens next.”

[luciddreamingstuff]

Putting That English Degree To Use For Stickmen

[Credit to Dearest Friend for the arts. They do not have an online presence so you won't find em.]

Wooden Pickaxe: Overview. 

So, challenge accepted. Disclaimer: just because I have said degree doesn’t mean what I say is the be all, end all. Honestly this is just personal opinion at the end of the day and how I viewed certain choices. I always say: do your own research and come to your own conclusion. In this case? GO WATCH IT! THIS THING IS AN HONEST TO GODS EXPERIENCE IN THE BEST WAYS POSSIBLE!

I’mma be honest, I remember when this series first came out (ie, I’m old by fandom standards) and yeah, I remember the first few episodes, loved it, watched some of the series and then randomly stopped. Honestly a huge mistake on my part because I missed OUT! My closest and dearest friend of a long ass time came in one day and dragged my ass back. And we watched the whole thing until 1 AM my time. But my gods, was it worth it. 

It all started with a bunch of stickmen breaking into my beloved game of Minecraft. 

And somehow it became a masterpiece. 

So I will break this up into sections for my own sanity and give a blurb for each. If you read through all of this, congratulations, there is a plate of cookies at the bottom. 

Now for my overall thoughts: it is stickmen, STICK-MEN-IN-MINECRAFT. You couldn’t get more basic than that and yet it became a grand adventure with fantastic character moments, a beautiful score, actions and choices made where words were not used, the lore is awe inspiring and just hits all the storytelling notches that truly make it something that Hollywood is never going to replicate. When I say this is the Minecraft Movie for me? I fucking mean it. 

I think there’s a saying, you don’t always need dialogue to tell a story. And the Alan Becker Team did just that. 

Stone Pickaxe: Storytelling. 

Show, Don’t Tell. Or Showing Versus Telling. You hear this all the time and wonder, what do they mean? There’s a difference between showing your audience what's going to happen versus telling your audience what’s going to happen. If you wanted a visual example of Show Don’t Tell, then look no further than the beloved Color Gang. Show Don’t Tell is something that we should all be practicing. Of course there are times where you do need to tell your audience of what is going on, but your story shouldn’t be all exposition. Let your audience discover the world with the characters. When first starting this series way back when it was just four episodes and not shorts, we got to learn about how everything worked with the Color Gang. After all, they are on cartoon logic with a video game. So we were learning along with them how everything worked and being just as surprised along with them about the key features of this new world so to speak. For those of us who have played the game for years and years, we have our understanding of the mechanics. But of course certain rules are thrown out the window once you apply cartoon logic. If you really want to equate it to something, it felt more like modded Minecraft. Which is perfectly fine. And then later on we get into actual famous mods such as lucky blocks and how they expand on the lore of it. But the lore itself of the Animation vs Minecraft will be discussed later. Anyways, throughout the story, we are mostly showing, not telling, in the literal sense. After all, none of these guys actually speak our language, communicating through gestures and examples. So how much can they actually tell us? Again, in the literal sense, nothing. But when you are talking rhetoric, you can still tell without saying a single word. And in the cases of when we find out the backstories of our main villains, that’s when you ‘tell’ so the characters, and by extension the audience have a greater understanding of why they did what they did. 

For Purple, it was told via them explaining to Green why they have to be the best, why they have to be on top. Of course we watch that through the noteblock world and its music. Now we understand motivation and it was built up nicely with dropping hints here and there through their character actions. Purple needed the validation they lacked in their life, so of course they were going to do anything about it, shown through their actions of taking over a village and ruling it over. Of course here comes Blue and Green and it completely messes that up and infuriates Purple. On the other hand, with King Orange, we see why they do what they do through a flashback scene. It's still technically telling us why they are committing these atrocities. And come to find out, the poor guy lost their family member to the game, to the code due to a glitch. All of it makes sense and the reveal is just as delicious. You’re rooting for the guy to be derezzed until he shows care for Purple as the guy had a change of heart and is trying to stop King orange from destroying everything! Once again, a prime example of Showing vs Telling. and then we see the telling, the explanation of why. When you are putting together a story, know when to show, and know when to tell. For some, you might be looking at this and thinking “oh but that’s impossible to do within a written piece of work!” I can assure you it isn’t. Think of it this way, exposition versus character actions. Here’s how I would write out the scene to follow the example of Showing: 

“King Orange had it, he finally had it! A chance to change this world, to fix what had been broken, to undo horrific actions taken upon the damned code. The light from the control staff with the game icon tearing up everything around it. Gratification at its finest. No one could stop him, not those damn kids, not anyone! Until he heard it, the whooshing of an elytra. If there’s one thing far more bitter than Nether Wart, is the bitterness of betrayal. And looking down the beam of light, that betrayal came through. Purple fought against the code destruction, pleading and reaching out to the King. Purple had looked up to King Orange, but really Purple was just the perfect pawn. And yet watching their body be torn apart, something flashed in their mind. It hurt, the color changing from Purple to a yellow. The cubes and chunks falling off Purple’s body. Something stirring deep inside. It festered, demanding to be fed like the destruction above.

Why? Why now?

Did they actually care about a subordinate? All of those moments they had together, Purple running around and gathering the colorful gang of warriors. The children that laid before them clinging onto what they had left of their bodies as they were ripped away by the corruption. King Orange felt the bitterness rise up, seeing the one before them change colors. Their heart twisting and shattering over and over as Purpled screamed out at thim to please listen, to stop this. They don’t want to lose King Orange! That they can forget all of this and become something else! If King Orangehadn’t been paying attention, they would have missed the gesture of Father. The word stung so badly, they couldn’t fight it, not anymore. and Purple . . . . Oh maker what have they done!? Purple slowly being ripped apart by their own hands! A monster! The visage from before would have been disappointed. A finally cry out and Purple slowly drifted back, into the void of nothing. 

NO! THEY COULDN’T LOSE SOMEONE ELSE! NOT AGAIN!

All of this, all of this had been for something! And instead! another had to suffer, and by their own greed. The staff fell from their hands as they raced towards the dying Purple. How could King Orange let it get this far? What was their goal in the first place? And how many had to suffer to achieve it?! King orange couldn’t let another die to this damn game, they couldn’t make the same mistake twice! A leap of faith as the stream of bright destruction took hold. Their vision disappears, their hand grabbing into Purple and there, the reason for all of this, begins to unfold.” 

Give yourself a little more credit, you can absolutely Show through writing, leaving hints. And then we get into the line of tell, where we find out more about our main cast and what had happened to them throughout. That is the art of it all. Tell when necessary, but try to show, let the audience explore this new world with your characters. Just like what we did with the Color Gang. If you ever needed an example of how to show and how to tell, go back and watch this whole thing, especially if you are a visual learner. All the bits and pieces that we might pick up throughout the story are brought forth with an explanation that wraps it all up. The fundamentals of Showing Vs Telling. 

The hero’s quest, a journey to return home, all of it interconnecting and mingling with each other. When you break it down to its most basic components, it really isn’t that complex of a story. Of course that’s at the base, and again, that’s not a bad thing. I think what people have forgotten is going back to the roots of stories and things that have already been established is not taboo. Too many things try to be new and exciting and forget the fundamentals. Without the fundamentals of what story we are trying to tell, too many things get lost and it becomes too complex to the point where your audience needs a whole powerpoint presentation just to understand what happened in the worst way possible. Trying to get the surprise on your audience with too many twists and turns? Now your audience is dizzy and the big reveal is not so. A story of progression throughout the choices made with our characters. Don’t forget, at the base of this, you have our main cast coming in and eventually saving the world. They gather their tools and skills throughout the two seasons for it to all build up to the final moment with saving the digital world. Even with our first big bad, Purple, being a first step instead of being the only villain throughout the series. After their defeat, the Color Gang are able to return back to their lives, the interlude of season two, and continue growing their skills. I think what people tend to forget is having the payout be equal to that of the challenge. Fundamental of the Hero’s quest/to save the world that people often forget. You got to have your characters actually be equal to that off the challenge. If you had thrown their season 1 selves at the final boss, they would have been destroyed or have it too far of a stretch to really be enjoyable. Part of the Hero’s quest is that montage that we get with the training arc. And too many want to skip over that, to rush it. I think having season 2 is critical for seeing the growth of our characters. All of it falling into place neatly. If you don’t put up the frames before the walls and roof, it’s all going to collapse. 

Iron Pickaxe: World Building. 

Okay here is one of my favorite things, World Building. I’d like to think World Building is my bread and butter. But at the end of the day, we’re talking about Stickmen and Minecraft. And somehow you got an amazing world from that. How so? It’s not rocket science I can assure you. But how they did it is truly fantastical! It’s a video game, it’s Minecraft. Sure it can be used as a medium for telling the story. But to use it as a part of the worldbuilding? I think that really is what sets this apart. It uses the mechanics of the game that was already established while twisting it in a way that makes sense. It’s based around the world of the game and the flexibility and imagination. With how they built the world of Minecraft into their story and the purpose it serves as a whole new land to explore, I dare argue that if you tried this with any other game, it would not be the same. What people tend to forget is how integral the world building is and what you can genuinely do with it. 

They took the game of Minecraft, added some mechanics here and there but once again kept to the heart of what it is. And that it’s a 16 bit game of blocks. With how they interact with the mechanics of the world, it meshes well with their own cartoon mechanics. And that’s the important part of when you are taking something familiar and putting it into something new. Your world building harmonizing with everything else around it is so, so important. How are you going to make cartoons fit in a game where blocks rule the land? Understand the game and the players at its core. Everything they do in the game itself honestly makes sense to me. They balance out the cartoonyness of it with something you can’t do in the base game. But with the cartoonish effect, such as Green using a fishing pole as a grappling hook? Technically you can do that with players, just not swinging around like Spider-Man. The versatility of minecraft as a sandbox is an absolute key factor here. Minecraft is what you make of it, not just as a medium to tell a story. Those who have figured out how to incorporate the world of minecraft, mechanics and all, within their world building are under-appreciated in my mind. And those who dismiss that brilliant effort do not understand the game at all. And people can tell me it's just a game. When I watch animation vs Minecraft, this is what I mean by it's more than just a game. 

Diamond Pickaxe: Characters. 

Characters! 

Love em, they are perfect, no thoughts. 

. . . .

. . . .

Okay so why are they such fun characters? I think it comes to the fact that they fully fleshed out and getting to see them with all their own moments. For example, we get to see Blue’s personality shine with them brewing potions and . . . . the Nether Wart addition (rehab, we need to get Blue into rehab.) But seeing how they invent their own solutions to problems with their love of potions. And that’s with all the characters, seeing their own quirks come to life to solve a problem. Like Red on the redemption arc and becoming a serious animal lover and all their moments involving an animal. Or how about Green getting into music and having a bit of an ego about it, only to get humbled a few times and learning to share. But likeI said, each character is getting put into a situation where you can see their bits of personalities really coming in handy in certain situations. Of course, the core of each of them being from a fighting game. And even their fighting styles drift from each other. When writing characters and seeing how they interact with others, what makes them stand out? and how well do they work with others? Simple questions to be asking yourself when writing a character. Once you’ve created the character, what makes them stand out from the crowd, if they do at all. Every character has their own unique trait that makes ‘em stand out no matter what. At their core, they are all still friends, with TSC being that pseudo leader still but giving the others a chance to shine. I think what really makes all these characters so special to me is how they balance each other out. How they learn and grow with each other and even on their own, we see how maybe the fiery determination and fierce loyalty excels in one part (think Red in Monster School) versus needing the gentle compassion and listening skills in another situation (Think Green in the Noteblock world with Purple). Because none of the characters speak, there had to be other ways to show their character traits and how it comes in handy. For Red, their loyalty to their friends is also reflected in their actions with his love for animals. Or for Green it was their music, needing to be a sharp listener in order to come up with the different pieces they play. Not to mention they have their fatal flaws as characters, which can be balanced out with another from the group. 

No character is perfect, just like how no living creature is perfect. We all have our flaws. And without said flaws, the world would be extremely boring. Yellow is a genius when it comes to Redstone building, very meticulous and their inventions have come in handy. But their flaw can be a desire for perfection. Red can be a bit stubborn, childish even, as evident during the lucky block episode, disregarding any consequences that might come out due to their actions. Blue’s tunnel vision (especially with nether wart) can sometimes leave them without hindsight. You get the idea. A Fatal Flaw is not inherently something bad and that must be fixed. No, the whole point of a Fatal Flaw is to make the character interesting and to give them a challenge. Doesn’t have to be the most serious thing out there. You could have the Fatal Flaw be a phobia of bananas. A perfect person? No. Perfection is arbitrary, there is no such thing. Something can be perfect to you as it meets all your standards. But there will always be some flaw that isn't present to you but to someone else. Truly a "eye of the beholder," sort of deal. That's fine, fantastic even. Explanation aside now, since Nuance is a lost art these days . . . That's a whole other conversation. There will always be some kind of Imperfection, and we get to see it play out. Hell you can have characters have the same Fatal Flaw, in the case of the Color Gang, they are all competitive as shit. They can put their differences aside when needed. But given the chance of competition? None of them can resist. And it makes sense with their backstories and their nature. 

Redemption. Let's talk redemption. 

So it is no secret that redemption of a villain for me is hit or miss, mostly miss these days. Every villain is to get redeemed and some people aren’t just shitty people and blah blah blah. Personally a bad message to send about how sometimes, people are just horrible and there is a time and a place and not to mention not setting yourself on fire—we can talk about that later. We’re here to talk about Character Redemption done right. See, King Orange and Purple had their redemptions within the series. And it was one of the few times I didn’t roll my eyes. No secret to anyone I think modern villains being redeemed left and right is stupid. But with King Orange and Purple, it makes sense for them. Were their actions justified in the end? To some extent, no. But now we understand why they did what they did. For King Orange, the block game killed their sibling. If I were in their shoes . . . uh, boots? I would have done the same. Doing everything one can to bring back their only family member. But when someone goes too far, such as sacrificing the lives of many? Can he be redeemed? I think so. At least for here, King Orange became proactive, in trying to fix their mess. And especially do right by Purple who had been chasing that familial connection ever since they met. 

For Purple? Daddy issues! Woo! Usually it makes them an artist, but in this case, a tyrant? Sort of. Purple had been craving that connection and validation. And it took Green finally listening to them and their story, explaining why they took the actions they did. And this is when you can offer sympathy, to put them on the right path. And in this case, it makes sense. Green offered that bridge and Purple, through some soul searching, saw that bridge and took it. In this case, Purple worked to try and fix this, sacrificing themselves in order to reach King Orange and make them realize they had fucked up badly. If you do not make your redeemed villains proactive with their redemption. Or even have it be justified (looking at you White Diamond, fuck you Disney), there needs to be balance between time and action. If they didn’t do too much but are scrutinized to death while they are trying to be better? Then at that point, why try at all? And it has to be genuine. I’m not saying folks need to immediately forgive and move on. The Color Gang chose to forgive King Orange and Purple, and that’s perfectly fine. If they didn’t forgive right away and needed some time, that’s fine as well. Technically speaking, we see more of the Color Gang interacting with Purple rather than King Orange. For me that can be interpreted as they might not fully forgive him. It might take some time but both sides are trying. There’s a balance of time and grievance, for some, it was too much and they don’t have to forgive. While there is an understanding of lives fully separating and paths diverging, never to cross again. Perfectly fine. Once again, nuance, gotta love good old nuance. Why did the Color Gang forgive the pair? Well for starters, it was Green who reached out first, giving Purple a chance to change and help save the world. There that bridge was created for Purple to cross. And then later, King Orange would find that bridge and cross themselves. It was a great effort on both sides, with TSC coming in with the final clutch to stop Minecraft and everything inside completely disappearing. King Orange knows what they did was wrong, and put themselves on the right path to try and do Right. Both by themselves and by Purple, who had been at their side when the slip into utter madness and villainy took hold. For me, it will be a while before King Orange really finds their footing again. Their life had been absorbed into finding a way to bring their sibling back. But if we had learned anything about King Orange, they’re resilient and will find a way to stand. But at least this time, they won’t be alone. 

I am so sorry for the rambliness of all of this. You can blame the fact that media literacy is on a rapid decline and it is driving me insane. One shouldn’t fucking need a degree to understand that the door is in fact blue for a reason. As a writer, this disappoints me greatly. 

Netherite Pickaxe: Final Thoughts. 

I think there is a lot to be said about the overall story here. Key Factor Here that too many forgot about: YOU. CAN. HAVE. FUN. TELLING. A STORY! It doesn’t always need to be something so stupid compelling and a chess match in order for it to be good. Read that again: IT DOESN’T ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SOMETHING DEEPLY COMPELLING. It can absolutely can, which when you think about it, our beloved stick figures, it goes deeper and deeper, all the way to bedrock where we find the heart of the issue. And it's between a choice, a series of spiraling staircases that lead to the near end of an entire world. Sometimes I want to have fun, sometimes I want to be on the edge of my seat. And where Parkour Civ was a fun story about our underdog rising to the top. We had Animation Vs Minecraft starting out like that, but then it becomes more and more, adding onto these layers and watching it truly grow into something massive. The in depth story that we got to see from the Alan Becker Team was wrapped up in a nice little bow with the world being saved, the heroes returning home, and the reformed villains looking for their own space. But when you put in the thought and care into something, like AvM did, you could have something so simple and yet have it be remembered with such fondness. It can be outlandish, it can be something that has been thought of before but not in that context. Cartoons' interaction with the block game isn’t new. But they took that concept and ran away with it. And I absolutely love that. 

If you were to ask me how I felt about the whole thing when it first started coming out, I’d tell ya it’s pretty cool and you should go check it out. Now that I’ve ran through the whole thing and took it apart somewhat, I’d tell ya it’s honestly a masterpiece. There is so much going on here that I haven’t touched upon because I was looking at this from a writer’s point of view. A breakdown of the action and animation would be a bit out of my reach. So this is what I can do for the moment. Truly I do appreciate all the care and work that went into this series and I do wonder where in the world do you go from there? For me, the story seems pretty wrapped up and it’s back to shenanigans. Because you have a pretty clean cut ending. And with Animation vs. Animator, there’s a lot going on there. So for the most part, season 4 is going to look like season 2 where it's back to shenanigans after the world nearly ended. As we have been seeing with the recent videos. I wouldn’t mind touching upon the fact that the world nearly did just end. But with the Color Gang, life does go on, and that’s how they have always been. Who knows what the team has in store for this, if they were to decide to pull something like this off again. I don’t know in all honesty, what do you think? Personally, I think it’s a nice break from the craziness that we experience and the other series running alongside. 

Regardless, I hope you all enjoyed this. I wouldn’t say it’s my best work. I was never good at essays, so if it seems a bit all over the place I do apologize. Writing a story and writing an essay about a story are two different things. But thank you for sticking around. And as always, I’ll be poking around. 

See ya! And don’t dig straight down. 

[charmwasjess]

Stupid sexy the Acolyte why I am still watching you

Ugh, because it unfortunately rules, that's why. I don't know. On one hand, I still have all of my concerns about the portrayal of the Jedi Order and my absolute exhaustion with the plotline of "oooh, but wHaT iF the Jedi bAd?!" while offhandedly massacring interesting cool Jedi who are voluntarily and honorably living out their convictions as empty plot fodder. I am so tired. But I also keep genuinely finding things to like about the show.

I really like the big chunky boxy lightsaber designs. They remind me of my first car: one of those perfectly square Volvo station wagons. I think the prequel Jedi lightsaber designs tend to be a little industrial/ utilitarian, whereas Dooku's generation (in the few example we have, I'm thinking of his, Sifo-Dyas's, and Jocasta's, because those are the ones I've looked at too many times) can be a little fussy and overdesigned. It's cool to see how generations of Jedi riff on popular designs for their era.

The size makes for a big impact when characters do things such as hold the emitter against the head of another character, or as in last night, bring it up to someone's throat, because damn, that thing is a clunker. It looks so dangerous.

Master Sol. Master Sol. Master Sol. I'm not sure I have ever seen a live action role where the actor has more uniquely and specifically captured what I love about the Jedi in one character.

The scene where he goes down to reset the transmitter and has his little micro-breakdown after the "team is dead" bit. What an powerful moment. The amount of acting he did with absolutely no dialogue, no one else in the scene to bounce off of, just a quiet moment of grief, rage, and loss. I've read both criticism and rebuttals of Jedi acting - oh, they're wooden, no, they're accurately playing a person with a lifetime worth of trained emotional control - and this was such an incredible example of portraying a person with a lifetime of emotional control training realistically experiencing an excruciating, heartbreaking loss. You see him lose control, open himself up to the Force/self soothe, and regain it. All just with a sequence of facial expressions. Honestly, if I get absolutely nothing else out of the show and hate where they go with this, it will have been worth watching for that alone. It's that important to me.

And just - Sol. :') When he gives Not-Osha a big HUG? I'm such a sucker for Jedi onscreen hugs. Man, his inevitable death is gonna blow.

Aww, and speaking of death, confirmation that the Osha and Jecki vibes were really there. Just kill me. And I kind of love how Qimir phrases it, this idea that the Jedi she loves will never love her back the way that she wants them to, but also the twisty subtext there. Maybe this is me giving the show too much credit, but I got a lot of Sith-version of love "to love is to possess a person" vibes in the way he talked about that?

BUt ohhhhh nooooo ewww stupid sexy Qimir trying to s-seduce (?) Osha by being all sexy and funny and likeable and weirdly kind and not like a classic Sith. Pffffh. Yeah, he's going after the other twin now. Completely and totally expected. Oh, good. And now he's taking off his stupid shirt and his beautiful body is there in this dumb stupid scene. He loves to show off his awful muscles and handsome dumb face, as if anybody is interested in that. Presumably his dark side dong is out. Who would care about that? Not me, a scholar.

Whatever, who even cares about this show. CLEARLY I DO NOT

[preet-01]

I just finished rewatching Game of Thrones season 6 and this idea of an angsty maxiel fic came to be. So this is based on season 6 episode 10, more specifically Loras' trial with dialogue straight from the show without the explosive end

Max is amongst the first to arrive to the Great Sept of Baelor with his betrothed by his side – her hand resting gently on his arm, no more and no less than propriety dictates – and two kingsguard follow behind them with a hand on their respective swords. The very few nobles already at the Sept part to allow Max and his betrothed to reach the slightly elevated platform his father is on. 

“Good morrow,” he greets as is expected of him. The response and the conversation that follows between his father and betrothed is lost to him as his gaze is fixed on where followers of the High Sparrow make their final preparations. 

There are seven simple chairs with one placed at each point of the seven-pointed star. No chair is grander than the other, but all are made of a rough wood that most furniture for the poorest of smallfolk is made. On each chair sits an elderly man in a rough-spun sack, for there is no better word for the long tunic-like clothing the followers of the High Sparrow wear. The High Sparrow indistinguishable from the men he chose to stand as judicators for this trial. 

It would be easy to fight those seven men. One wouldn’t even need to be Kingsguard or a renowned knight to fight those men and win. If it weren’t for the Faith Militant – the most fanatical of the High Sparrow’s followers and men. In long, gray, rough-spun robes with chains crisscrossing around their torsos and the seven-pointed star carved into their foreheads, the Faith Militant are merciless. Just a few weeks ago, their brutality had turned the streets of King’s Landing red with spilled wine and blood. 

The fanaticism could have been snuffed out quietly and quickly, as his uncle had suggested – recalling how awful things had turned out centuries ago when they first rose up against the crown. But his father had not listened. Instead, he had armed them and given them legitimacy as only the King could. 

The Sept of Baelor is quick to fill with nobles and smallfolk alike – all of them curious to see the trial and its outcome. It is not every day that a noble, a scion of one of the great houses, is so publicly tried for something everyone had known but turned a blind eye to because that’s just how things were. 

Nobles with secrets to keep and protect are present only so they could find ways to safeguard themselves against this new religious fanaticism. In the before times, carefully planned donations had allowed them to do as they pleased with Septons and Septas turning a blind eye. The smallfolk clamor to witness the trial so they may see a rich man brought to their level, to see that finery and wealth will not protect the nobles. 

It’s madness and asking for trouble. 

Had his father not learned anything from the histories he so harshly burned into Max’s mind? Every time it was brought to attention that nobles and royalty bled just the same as the smallfolk, it ended badly for the nobles and royalty. The smallfolk outnumbered them by thousands if not millions – not even dragons had been safe from the smallfolk once they realized that dragons were not gods but flesh and blood just like any other animal. 

The pounding of a wooden staff by the High Sparrow brings Max’s attention back to the matter at hand. 

There is to be a trial. And at the center of it is Ser Daniel Ricciardo. 

Across the Sept stands House Ricciardo – all of them united as they await the future of their house. Once their strongest allies, Max doubts they will be staying in King’s Landing long once the trial is over nor will they lend their support to House Verstappen in the ongoing war now that the heir to their great house is on trial by fanatics legitimized by the King. It is a troublesome prospect to think about as the Ricciardos fielded most of the men in the crown’s army and were the ones to provide food for the kingdom. 

The brotherhood of the Faith Militant drag Daniel to the center and Max barely recognizes the man. 

Fine silks are replaced by rough-spun robes and chains. The never-ending bright smile has ceased to exist. The curls Max loved to weave his hands through are shorn to the root. Cuts and bruises litter Daniel’s face as he curls into himself. The once proud knight is reduced to a shade of himself as he keeps his eyes on the floor, averting any interaction he may have with the people present to witness the trial. 

“Ser Daniel Ricciardo,” the High Sparrow says as the brothers force Daniel onto his knees in the center of the seven-pointed star. “Are you prepared to stand trial and profess your guilt or innocence before the Seven?” he inquires. 

“There'll be no need for a trial,” Daniel replies. His voice is rough and weak, breaking with every word he says. The crowd around Max murmured amongst themselves as they’d all come to witness a trial. “I confess before the Seven and freely admit to my crimes,” Daniel continues as the whispers and murmurs grow louder. 

“I would spend the rest of my life here with just you,” Max whispered pressing kisses along Daniel’s bare chest. 

“To which crimes will you be confessing?” the High Sparrow questions, gazing down at Daniel’s broken figure. 

“All of them. I lay with other men,” Daniel says, his body betraying him as his eyes fall to where Max stands for only a few seconds before turning back to the High Sparrow, “including the traitor Nico Rosberg.” Max’s breath hitches, he does not know if he wants Daniel to name him as one of the men he’d slept with so they may suffer together or if he fears what may happen should Daniel name him. Nico Rosberg is long dead, slain by a ghost or woman – the tales vary and are most likely fictionalized with each passing moment – he will not suffer for any of this like Daniel will, nor is it unknown that Nico Rosberg had once lain with the Ricciardo heir. 

“We could always run away. They are not so strict against who you love in the Free Cities,” Daniel said when Max’s betrothal was announced. Sooner than later, Max would marry the Lannister girl and sire perfect, golden-haired babes to rule after him. 

“I perjured myself before the gods. I am guilty of depravity... dishonesty, profligacy, and arrogance,” Daniel continues to say, the hurt evident as he stops after saying depravity. Nothing about what they had done was deprave, it was beautiful and something to be cherished, but the Faith of the Seven did not see it as such. The beauty of their love was considered to be wrong and immoral. A crime that could be tried in front of all and give the Faith Militant leave to cut cocks if they so chose to do so. 

“I see that now. I humble myself before the Seven and accept whatever punishment the gods deem just,” Daniel finally says as tears stain his cheeks. 

Max clenches his fists, digging his nails into his palms until it stings to keep himself from moving from his place between his father and betrothed. 

As the Crown Prince, Max was forced to sit for the inquisition. Everything had gone well enough, there were not many questions and things could be explained away. Michelle had defended her brother and Max’s name was never once brought up. It had gone well until it hadn’t. 

A no-name knight from years ago was brought to the inquisition. A no-name knight who Daniel hadn’t seen in years since he’d committed himself to Max had given credence to the accusations by mentioning a birthmark on Daniel’s upper thigh – a birthmark Max himself had marked with kisses. 

“The gods' judgment is fierce, but also fair,” the High Sparrow says loudly so his voice echoes in the Sept. “The Warrior punishes those who believe themselves beyond the reach of justice. But the Mother shows her mercy to those who kneel before her,” he states. 

Still kneeling, Daniel says, “I take full responsibility for my many sins and unburden myself of my desires. My only remaining wish is to devote my life to the Seven. May I be a living example of their grace for others to witness.” Daniel replies as the crowd gasps. 

“You understand fully what this means?”

“I do,” Daniel agrees. “I will abandon the Ricciardo name and all that goes with it. I will renounce my lordship and my claims on Highgarden. I will never marry and I will never father any children,” he says. It is unheard of for heirs to renounce their claims and vow to never marry or father children. Even the heirs who preferred the company of men kept their positions and married as was expected. 

“Brother Daniel... I ask you to dedicate your life to the seven gods. Will you fight to defend your faith against heretics and apostates?” 

“I will,” Daniel says. 

“The gods are just and Brother Daniel has seen the error in his ways. Now he will repent and serve the Faith,” the High Septon says as the brothers of the Faith Militant mutilate Daniel. 

Daniel’s screams echo in the Sept of Baelor as they carve the seven-pointed star on his forehead. 

He should have run away with Daniel when they had the chance. Forsaken his station as heir to the Iron Throne and took Daniel far, far away from the people who saw their love as immoral. He should have protected Daniel like Daniel protects him now. Max’s father may not love him, but he knows that if Max was at the other end of the sodomy accusations, his father would have quelled the Faith Militant and gotten rid of the High Sparrow. Daniel knew it just as well as Max did, but yet, Daniel hadn’t spoken his name once, protecting him even to his own detriment. 

Once Daniel is taken away, not even given a moment with his family, the crowds disperse with his father at the head of it all. 

“Michelle-” he begins when it is just him and Daniel’s sister standing in the Great Sept of Baelor. The floor between them was stained with drops of Daniel’s blood and tears. 

“Do not,” she cuts him off, hatred in her tear-filled eyes. Her father, the Lord of Highgarden, had ushered away his crying wife, but Michelle had remained in her place. “We all warned Daniel to not get in bed with a Verstappen, but he didn’t listen because he was in love.” 

“I will-” 

“Do you know what they did to him?” she questions with a sob. “My baby brother, the strongest man I know? Do you know how they beat him, tortured him, broke him until he was begging for it to end?” Holding back sobs, Michelle’s glare is cutting. Where Daniel was renowned for his smiles and chivalry, Michelle was renowned for cutting looks and sharp words. “I begged him to say your name, to accuse you of using your position as Prince to bed him, to do anything but accept this. But my brother has a kind heart and still loves you despite what your father caused through his patronage and legitimization of these zealots.” 

“I will confess and make them change this,” Max states. His confession of committing the same acts as Daniel will surely change this and force them to let Daniel return to his family. 

“You are the Prince and my brother the man who dared to love you. You are not so naive to think your father would not hide your confession and make Daniel suffer for it,” Michelle says with a harsh laugh. “Go, your grace, marry your pretty Lannister bride and hope that her family provides the Crown with men and food because the Reach will not,” she says, “I have a brother I need to say goodbye to.” 

Michelle leaves him alone in the Sept. By the end of the day, every single member of House Ricciardo and the Reach is gone from the city. Soldiers march home under the pretense of preparing for the upcoming winter and cutting the rebels off from the south. 

“Your grace, a note for you,” a page says handing him a tiny piece of parchment. 

I am yours until my dying breath and even after. 

As his family’s banners disappear from the horizon, Daniel ends his pain, the empty vial slipping from his hand and breaking into tiny shards of glass. 

[ixdthestreams]

PCap Recap - The Husbands of River Song

Apologies again for being so late with this (and for being almost MIA over the last week). Christmas is always crazy busy in my house and my daughter’s meltdowns go off the scale so I do tend to become the most unsociable person around this time through no fault of my own.

Soooooo……… The Husbands of River Song. Where to start, where to start?

I fucking love this story! Simple as. It is without question my favourite of all of 12’s episodes (narrowly beating Heaven Sent) and in turn my favourite 12 Christmas episode (knocking Twice Upon a Time into second place).

From the off I think it broadcasts exactly what to expect. The ‘Carol Singers will be criticised’ sign warns us were about to meet a very grumpy Doctor and lots of laughs are ahead. I love a bit of grumpy 12 so bring it on! When they announced that Matt Lucas was in this episode I was secretly dreading it. When he was joined by Greg Davies I was twice as anxious. I always loved Matt Lucas in small doses and was worried that he would be expected to play it more serious than he was used to. I needn’t have worried as I thought his presence in this, and subsequent episodes, added a much needed foil for the Doctor. Someone who would just tell him straight.

For anyone who doesn’t know, Greg Davies is a comedian who used to be a teacher. I love his stand up and he’s always such good value on chat shows but I don’t think his strengths lie in acting. I’m sad to say his performance in this only reinforced that opinion. If he’d have been given some funnier lines my opinion might have been different, but in this he’s definitely the villain but also very much the straight guy. However, that does, of course, mean that our boy gets to go heavy on the funnies in this, and he does so splendidly well.

His first shot with the hologram antlers always creases me up. Such a deadpan face. From there we get line after line of growingly incredulous dialogue from him as he simply can’t believe that River doesn’t know who he is. Once she does realise who he is they really start to bounce off each other joyfully. Which brings me to the goddess Alex Kingston.

Now, I am a happily married, straight woman in her 50’s but Christ alive that woman makes me doubt every sexual attraction I’ve ever had! She effortlessly smoulders and impishly plays with every man she shares a scene with. She never really made an impact on me when she was in ER but in DW she shines. In addition to all the pure sex she radiates - the woman can bloody well act!

I was lucky enough to see her play Lady Macbeth against Kenneth Brannagh in his production of Macbeth for the Manchester International Festival in 2013. It was a unique production in a small disused church on the edge of Manchester City Centre. We, the audience were sat in the pews which had been realigned and tiered (bleacher-like) to run the full length of the church from the altar to the entrance, with a widened aisle and altar then becoming the main performance area. At the opposite end to altar a large wooden wall had been build which had shuttered windows built into it (it was here that the ghost and witches would appear and from which Lady Mac would meet her end. It was all very secret in that the audience met in a warehouse and didn’t know where the performance would take place. Shortly before show time, we were walked in groups of 8-10 to the church which was a few streets away and seated. We sat in the front row pew next to the wall and as I sat I realised there was a hooded woman knelt on the alter at the far end, lighting candles. We were one of the first groups to be seated and it took a good 20 minutes for the rest of the small audience to be seated and settle in. As the lights dimmed for the show to start, the hooded figure began to stand. She turned, removed her hood and revealed herself to be Lady Macbeth, Alex Kingston. She’d been knelt there for more than 20 minutes just lighting candles!!! I was awe inspired and both my husband and I fell completely in love with her over the course of her performance. The play itself was completely immersive. At one point a rain storm started (IN THE CHURCH!!!) during a battle scene which drenched the first few rows of the audience including me. This coupled with the fact that there was soil on the floor which turned to mud in the rain made for a thrilling if not messy few hours. Oh and because of they way the bleachers were built I could see where the actors where getting changed and got a, not unpleasant, eyeful of Brannagh in his pants 🤭

So suffice to say, AK is one of my most favourite women and to pair her with my most favourite man (sorry my husband!) is delectable. What an incredibly charismatic pairing these two actors were. And what an unforgivable shame this was the only story we got of them together. I know, I know - our boy’s version of Who is the one who got to spend 24 whole years of domestic bliss with her. Was this when he became a father? I truly like to think it is. In fact I’ve got the startings of a fanfic in my head about the 24 years and what happened. Maybe I’ll get to it one day, Who knows? But my God they sizzled together. They are the only, truly believable pairing of River and the Doctor in my opinion. They look like a couple. River with all the other Doctors just doesn’t work for me. There’s just no real spark. It always felt artificial.

Quick Takes, Observations and Questions

Am I right in thinking that the street set at the start is the alley from Face the Raven just redressed? The layout feels very familiar.

This is by far the funniest episode Moffat has ever written. I doubt he’ll ever surpass it.

The hair! The costume! Just absolute perfection in this.😎

His anti-monarchy speech ❤️✊

His face when River kisses Ramone 🤮

Hello Sweetie! Imagine hearing that from his lips and it being directed at you. 🌊

The quick ogle of River’s boobs he manages to squeeze in when the diamond drops into her dress. 🍒🍆

24 fecking years!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭

If I could watch just one episode on a loop until the end of time it would be this. It brings me nothing but warm fuzzy feelings when I need them the most. And we all need as many warm fuzzy feelings as we can lay our hands on in these dark days.

4 1/2 billion stars out of 5!

[skekthesilly]

im playing demo 3 right NEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is gonna be so peaksauce

me gaming under cut (spoilers for demo 3)

4:18 pm, dec 16: ghostwalker??? oooo.... that sounds epicsauce.............. haunted manor you say???? dont mind if i do

4:19: just noticed that my name in shedletsky's dialogue is the same color as when he mentioned some "they're". just an observation. is this important? i dunno. maybe???

4:23:

4:31: IS THAT AMONG US AND LOSS??????????

4:38: DR TRAYAURUS MENTIONED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:54: i love them <3

WAIT I LOVE THIS WAIT???????? WAIT??????? OMG??????

4:57: GREEN AND OURPLE????????????????

5:01: i heart noobador. epicsauce uncle

5:04: oh i did not process that green and purple were red n blues's parents or something like that. "talk about abuse!" oh. oh. you. dont do this to my poor heart

5:10: my siblings told me i can get a special card from cruel king if i kill him a bunch. i feed so bad for him bro hes having a mental breakdown the more i kill him. EVERYONE IN BLACKROCK IS FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEYRE OKAY!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEYRE OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5:15: "you dont have to go through this alone" cruel king do you understand how much i platonically love you right now. tgat sentence struck me with the force of a military fighter jet. oh my god

5:27: currently beating up bubonic plant !!!!

4:12 pm, dec 21: been a bit. played for a bit and got to the manor before remembering i was supposed to post my progress here. anyways, recap of my reactions from last playthru to now:

apparently bubonic plant doesnt drop a call card. shame. i fought them like 30 times i counted

went to go traverse the cemetery!!! also all the old opponents from ch 1 are here but zombies now. is that because of me??? aw man

shoutout to the pumpkins

theres food EVERYWHERE. i guess the zombies need to eat too

found a bunch of bux on the way to the manor and felt really good about myself

butler. why are you green. are you a zombie too

omg its the girl!!!!!!!! the woman from turtle police!!!!! or whatever the place was called!!!! also zamn is her sister okay????

ummm appaerntly im not ok??? theres voices in my head???? because of the swords???? okay. casually foreshadowing. okay. fun fun

WHAT THE FUCK THERES RED TEXT NOW???? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "GET IT" "YOURE WASTING YOUR TIME" IS THIS THE "HATRED" MY SIBLINGS WERE TALKING ABOUT??? OK. LISTEN UP BUDDY. I LOVE ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THIS GODDAMN GAME DEARLY AND I WISH TO INTERACT WITH EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. FUCK YOU

LIKE I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A HAHA FUNNY... I THOUGHT THE KIDS WERE TELLING ME TO FIND THE TOILET PAPER WHAT THE FUCKKK?????? GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY

thats about it

4:22: is this foreshadowing

4:23: why can you jump off of the balcony. is this intentional??? is this an accident??? is there a secret?????

4:26: yo witch?????? you know shedletsky????? also i noticed telamon and shedletsky have the same color name. theyre probably the same guy. maybe. i dunno. shedlesky's last name is probably telamon or smth like that

4:29: awww terry n jerry.... duo..... thats so sweet....

4:31: what the FUCK is going on someone BETTER FUCKING TELL ME or i am going to TEAR THIS MANSION TO THE BROUND WITH MY TEETH what do you mean the only options are dont tell him and LIE. what the FUCK are you trying t o TELL ME HERE i feel like fucking KRIS DELTARUNE im gonna CRASH OUT

4:34: expanding on the entry above: "you live a life of lies you better start believing it" ok. so im a little silly in th e head. ok. fine. whatever. fuck you. im gonna crash out and the only life im gonna live is the one six feet under after i accidentally skewer myself on a wooden pole while bashing the manor into itty bitty bits. fuck you

4:38: what the fuck is happening to me dude. what does this fucking game want from me. what do you mean i look dead. what do you mean im hearing shit. what do you mean. what do you MEAN. i need ANSWERS and i need them NOW or i SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS ABOVE

7:28 PM, Dec 22: GUESS WHO FORGOT TO POST THEIR PROGRESS AGAIN

went into the basement. so there's just a whole ass forest and graveyard in here??? cool

ugghhghghgh i NEED TO GET BETTER AT DODGING

got into the haunted manor and IS EVERYONE DEAD??????????? FUUUUCK

thats it

7:29: there's a thing guarding the ghost walker and it scares you???? ha ha ha tf2 reference dies

7:34: i love you tutorial terry

7:43: i love all of these dead guys. they're so whimsical. this childish wonder at seeing a living breathing robloxian makes me want to hug every single one of them

7:46: oh i already know, buddy. believe me. i know its gonna be VERY hateful. my siblings couldnt help but tell me themselves. but thank you for your foreshadowing anyways

7:48: hey so like what the fuck

im so hyped. also 7 CHAPTERS???????? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME FEEL. ok lemme yap for a bit

ever since i saw deltarune and saw that it was planned to have 7 chapters, my mind has been HARD-WIRED to expect EXACTLY 7 chapters from any game that uses a chapter system. if i doesnt have 7 chapters i get so incredibly upset. poppy playtime? needs to have 7 chapters or else it'll be all wrong. garten of banban? fuck it. needs to have 7 chapters. havent checked on it for a while so it's probably got more than that now (fuck). indigo park? 7 chapters or i'm ending it all (joke). literally i need 7 chapters from everything or else i feel genuine panic that something bad is going to happen to me and i get this horrible feeling in my head and skin. its so weird like what the fuck

(edit fron 10:36, dec 24: skek those are literally the sword fight on the heights swords are you stupid. how did you not recognize that. buddy. pal. buddy.)

7:54: i love you kitchen wizard

7:56: GHOST OTION!!!!!! also i can't touch the ghostwalker? okay dokay. we might be fucked!!!! hip hip hooray!!!! my dumbass will ABSOLUTELY touch that goddamn sword

only those of pure sould can wield it? um . i have voices in my head. i don't think i qualify

oh so i just die if i touch it. sweet

omg kitchen wizard cares about me..... i love you kitchen wizard 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 i m sniffling and weeping all over your kitchen im so sorry its just. im. you. you. i. you. me. gas station. what are we getting for dinner? sushi of course! uh oh! th

8:00: tutorial terry you are so pure i believe you. you have a little brother and everything

8:01: oh my goodness i just moved the giant statues . i suddenly feel an urge to go "oh my goodness im so sorry i didnt mean to move the statues im sorry"

8:03: oh i see now. its a puzzle. nevermind

8:07: ohhh i dnt have a good feeling about this. there's a heal pad right next to me which means there's a boss/mini boss coming up

8:09: woah. masked man from the thumbnail of the new demo. coooool......

8:11: HYPERBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROUND POUND!!!!!!!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2:59, dec 23: im actually so stupid. yknow the room with the moving spikes??? for a whole 5 mins i didnt realize i needed ghost potion

3:01: no dont you dare touch that sword. dont you dare dont ou dare DONT YOU DSRE DONT DO IT DONT oh thank f DONT DO IT FUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

oh hi builderman

3:02: come to terms with my negative traits? either i die or i succeed. win win situation buddy lets do this

3:03: so you're gonna be my therapist now? you better be good

3:06: WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS SO COOL?????????????

3:08: woaaahh. what the fuck. i need a whole game that looks like this dude. also . avarice? rice? i love rice

3:09: i think im madly in love with demo 3 actually

3:13: why are the yous yellow. like telamon. and shedletsky. foreshadowing?

3:17: i love this i love this i love this ARGHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO COOL???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRR SCREAMS CRIES

3:21: greed i think im madly in love with you get your ass over here so we can platonically make out OUGGGHHH IM AETHETICALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU RIGHT NOW. YOU LOOK SO COOL IM WEEPING AND CRYING I M BAJGKTHUGNERHVYEVHVGSNMIDJFMGCJIDIGJ SHITS CRIES LITERALLY JUMPS OFF OF A SPEEDING TRAIN

3:24: builderman whenever you say I it wiggles. what does this mean

oh we're gonna face isolation now? fun. my favorite

3:25: DUCKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:29: F!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:32: wow. that is a really really big duck

3:34: oh this is such a cool puzzle. oh this is so cool. how do they KEEP COMING UP WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:36: ohhh buddy boy who do i miss??? well buddy boy this is real fun isnt it

the orange you (builderman) turned hatred red. fun fun!!!

3:38: FUCKING BREAKCORE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDDDDD??????????????????????????????????? YOOOOO

3:41: ouuuughhhh i heart isolation. wah................................ ough.......................... g...................... ourple guy here i come......................................

3:47: woag. flipped the swithc. the. switch. and now there's a buncha symbols in a language i dont knwo. coolsauce

3:49: death? death? in red? like hatred? death?

3:52: did i mention how cool this is

like. ohhhh my god. i love this so so so so so so so much. you cannot even comprehend. im going wild

3:54: wow. wowie wow. im loving the artstyle by the way did i mention that????? this is pretty epicsauce. just saying. fear maze!!!! woooo!!!!!

3:55: writing getting scribblier!!!! oooo!!!! love it when that happens. i just think it looks cool

3:56: KILL your fears? woah. dont use the kill word buddy. thats NOT pg

3:57: it? yeah no i figured that out already by now. builderman's the it. and considering IT is red, builderman's hatred. fun!! we get to fight mr roblox!!!!! hooray!!!!!!!! anyways i need to keep playing, fear!!!!!!!!!!!! lemme at it!!!!!!!!! lemme at you!!!!!!!!!!

i love yuo fear!!!!!!!!!!!!! heart emoji!!!!!!!!!!!

MORE BREAKCORE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY- GETS SHOT

3:59: GABBA DRUMS????????????? I COULD KISS YOU RIGHT NOW

i need to add this to my playlist. I NEED TO TAKE NOTES!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO PEAK???????????????? IM GONNA CRY IM ACTUALLY GONNA CRY THIS IS. AGHRAGHRGAHGR I LOVE THE MUSIC IM GONNA WEEP

4:01: WOAH THAT WAS A COOL EFFECT FOR CALL FOR HELP. SIMPLE BUT COOLSAUCE!!!!!!! the freakin music stopped and everything!!!!!!!!!

4:04: builderman i already knew you were gonna sic me buddy im ready for you pal

ohhhh this is so cool. they even changed the quest name too. leaning on the 4th wall perchance? i love you

4:05: fall into darkness!!!! yippee!!!!!!! hooray!!!!!!!

4:07: the world revolves? revolving? the world revolving? like deltarune? like jevil? the world revolving? jevil is that y

4:11: these goofy silly guys. their names look like bible verses

oh THIS IS SO COOL. HATRED GET OVER HERE SO WE CAN PLATONICALLY MAKE OUT

4:13: i also want to say i love the sound design as well. WELL DONE BLOCK TALES TEAM!!!!!!!! ILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /p

its so funny dude. there's such a well-done creepy atmosphere and stuff but as soon as i win a battle the little jingle plays and its like "good job!! you did it!! im so proud of you!!! hooray!!!"

4:15: "do us all a favor. curl into a ball and wither." i thought you would say kill yourself but im pretty sure that's what you meant bc that wouldnt be very kid friendly for roblox

4:17: fleshy hanging swingset from a tree. you sure this isnt just a metaphor for someone hanging themselves???? buddy????

aw :( i wanted to ride the swing :(

4:20: woah. that is a lot of people in the walls. im impressed. howd you get them in the walls?????

it can fix me??? giggles and twirls my hair.... tee hee... it can make me beautiful??? giggles... is it a girl, perchance????? giggles..... is it a girl??? could we be pookies??? could it really fix me??? giggles....

just like you? oh nevermind

4:24: unwrap the heart??? UNWRAP???? CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg hatred looks so cooolll!!!!!!!!!!!! that animation was so smooth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dude howd block tales go from joy and whimsy to THIS vro. im not complaining in the slightest. wow

4:26: oh this music boutta be fire OH HERE COMES THE DROP

OPJIOHGIRNHIUIORWNHGYUHRWTIMORWIJIYORWL<IYOWRMITKY<

4:27: dude i need to get good. i need to get good really really fast or else im done for

4:42: ok so this fight is gonna take a little bit

4:49: im havin g so much fun guys

4:57: I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! solo on my 5th attempt!!! hooray!!! im a gamer!!! are you guys proud of me??? i am. i'm so proud of me. can we skip and sing merrily together. can we???? stares at you with my big wet unblinking eyes

5:00: i finished the game at exactly 5:00!!! wow wow wow. wow.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

oh my god

DUDE.......... DUDE......

first of all! LOVED the foreshadowing. that was some really good foreshadowing. very clever !!!!

second of all: this was a MAJOR step up in quality. i mean. WOW. like???? this is wild????? this is amazing???? howd they do that. i LOVE the artstyles and the storyline here and. ohhh dont even get me started on the bosses

ohh my god. i DID NOT expect the game to go into 2d. that is super cool. i need more stuff like that. wow. and the animations were so smooth????? im just. im flabbergasted. im dumbfounded.

the mood is so serious too. we go from "ahhaha wacky silly" to "you need to face yourself and come out clean. destroy your hatred and make yourself pure. you can do this" and im just. im. i

this was such a wild ride. god i love this game. i LOVE the fact that i can also see how much the devs love this game too, and it really really shows because holy shit. holy shit

it's come a very long way from when it first released..... im so proud of block tales....

oh and also the MUSIC??????????? THE MUSIC IS SO PEAK. UGHHHH IM CRYING shoutout to the musicians. oh my goodness. they are literally my idols now

but WOW that boss was hard. wow. hatred was not messing around!! i dies 5 times dude... i didnt even die on griefer's 2 phases once.... (we dont talk about how i died to cruel king)

its. its really really amazing. and there's like... i think 4 more planned chapters as well??? if the quality keeps going up like this then. well pluck my nose hairs and send me to alaska /ref we've got a new favorite game on our hands

uggghhh i need to talk about the artstyle. its so CRISPY n SMOOTH and it looks so good and they made the MOOD SO GOOD. atmosphere so good. so spooky. oh they KNEW what they were doing. i want to open up the dev's head and peek at what's inside because how are they all coming up with this

i love block tales. oh my god. shoutout to block tales for being epic. there's more stuff i wanna keep talking about but I CANT REMBER IT ALL 😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺

BONUS STUFF HAPPENING NOW!!!

5:23: oh they made the snowy cave from ch 1 scarier......... woagh...... shivers my timbers....

5:25: got another speed spin from the caves!!!! thats all i wanted to do really

5:33: oooh they made the pit spookier as well

5:34: just donated 20 roux to this game because i heart block tales and i want that club animation. also i have like no roux so thats all i could give

5:38: i didnt know i could equip multiple.... what happens now 😁😁😁😁😁 (fnnuy)

9:14, dec 24: okay dokay. gayming time

9:18: currently grinding for the explosion sound effect card

9:43: got bored. decided to try and reach pit floor 30 instead

10:00: hooray. pit floor 30

anyways thats it lmao

[maximumwobblerbanditdonut]

Had you played TV cliché bingo while watching The Couple Next Door, I do believe sparks would have been flying from your dabber. I’m almost in awe that so many were crammed in before the first ad break alone. Barely seven minutes in, Becka (Jessica De Gouw) and Danny (Sam Heughan) were pulling each other’s clothes off and having sex at their living room window, curtains open, in a way that no married couple whose small child has just left the room ever do. Except in TV La-La land.

It was a bonus, though, for Alan the Pervert (Hugh Dennis), who has a telescope trained on their house and dark circles under his eyes that suggest he does a lot of squinting while hunched over his computer (and I don’t mean at Wordle).

I suppose at least this drama owns its clichés. What am I saying? It revels in them. It opened with the classic taster of horror to come, Eleanor Tomlinson as Evie running in what we shall call TV’s “sexy terrified” way. That is, frightened but looking hot, hot, hot in a short silk nightie as she ran barefoot through a forest. We then flipped back in time to Evie and Pete (Alfred Enoch) happily arriving at their new suburban idyll to start their family, which was a sort of sunny Wisteria Lane and not at all like the Leeds I remember from when I lived there.

It told us everything was too smug to be true by having laughing children playing with water guns, lawns being mowed, cars being washed. Uh-oh. We know that can’t last. And it didn’t. Evie miscarried her baby (conceived with a donor because Pete has “puny sperm”) by minute 16. I have a terrible feeling that the koi carp in the garden are some sort of “swimmers” metaphor.

Sometimes the dialogue was so stilted, I wondered if it was a spoof. “You guys will get through this,” Danny said to Pete, who should really have responded by asking if he was a chatbot. It soon transpired that Danny and Becka were swingers (it’s based on a Dutch series called, yes, The Swingers) and they promptly had “that couple we met in Marbella” round for some wife swapping as Pete watched from his window. Has anyone in this street ever considered closing a blind? And, actually, aren’t they “the couple opposite”, not “next door”?

There’s a dull subplot about Danny being a dodgy copper, which ties in to a dull investigation that local journalist Pete wants to look into, but his editor wants him to cover the opening of a new city library. A new library? Pull the other one. The UK has closed about 800 of them in the past decade.

At least Evie cheered up when she got Danny’s powerful beast between her legs. Oh, I mean his motorbike, though it’s obvious it won’t be long before the other beast comes into play. I feared we might get to the end of the episode without it committing the top TV cliché on the bingo card, namely spontaneous sex on a kitchen worktop. But, no. Evie and Pete gave us a full house by doing exactly that — and during a storm for added cheesiness.

These couples are as wooden as Dutch clogs, but I am enjoying Dennis’s greasy performance as the disgusting stalker who pretends to like yoga so he can be near Becka. I must warn you that later in the series it’s traumatic to see the man who played the nice dad in Outnumbered masturbating. I must also warn you that episode two contains some of the worst cringey couple dancing you are likely to witness in your lifetime. I think the moral of this silly but entertainingly corny tale is going to be: “Don’t shag the neighbours.”

thetimes.co.uk

Carol Midgley joined The Times in 1996 and is a former Feature Writer of the Year winner. Find her column in Times 2 each Wednesday and her TV reviews on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.

————————————————————————

Indeed I saw all the reviews after the streaming view, including all episodes. The Times’ review concretes many things about The Couple Next Door 💁‍♀️

[flavia8]

So, I watched the Live Action Snow White. And I have some thoughts. I know it's a joke that Snow White isn't anyone's favorite Disney Movie but I genuinely do love it. She's a very cool princess! I love how kind she is to everyone and she is very resilient. I think it's a really good fun fairytale movie and it actually gives me Brothers Grimm Vibes. I also love it for how pioneering it is for traditional animation and to this day it's still an absolutely beautiful film. Her story is a quintessential fairytale, there are so many versions of it throughout the world.

The Original Snow White is top tier. Like I said, it genuinely has Grimms Fairytale Vibes (their more tame stories but still) and the artistry is stunning.

There's like this sequence where they animate the water rippling in the well which is still insane.The forest sequence is genuinely still unnerving and I love how dynamic and atmospheric it is.

And "With a Smile and a Song" is in a perfect place to "recover" and it's a lovely song. There's a lot of fun, small witty moments I forgot such as when Snow White Kisses a Dove and sends it to the Prince, and the dove, landing on the Prince's hand, is all shy and bashful, blushes and "kisses" him. There's a lot of small moments like that with the animation of the animals, such as when they're unraveling a spiderweb and the spider comes out. The Dwarves are so fun in this version! They don't look like uncanny valley entities.

The way the Evil Queen makes the potion is so much more fun and better in this one bc we get little vignettes of each ingredient that are animated and have sound effects, plus we see it all coming together. And, in the OG - the Evil Queen is so much better than the LA, her voice and mannerisms are just so much more fluid and lively. Gal Godot's acting here is so wooden, stiff, bad and uninteresting. I also forgot how much of a part music played, it's almost like a secondary dialogue? Or the Narrator? The music integration in the original is well done and smooth.

I love the way that the poison apple is made in the animated one it's like dipped into a poison and bubbles and gets a skull symbol then it fades and becomes a beautiful Apple. In the LA Gal Godot just pulls it out of a box -_-

The Pie she makes in the animated one continues to be one of the most delicious looking foods ever animated.

The Live action is just missing a lot of those special moments, like with the apple I mentioned. In the LA, Why is there no glass coffin? Thats so sad. There's barely any whimsical and fairytale elements She's just lying dead on a slab of rock.

Also in the LA, I feel like they kinda misconstrued the Evil Queens Motivations - it's Power through Beauty and not Vanity She's using her beauty to specifically obtain power and wealth Not using her power and wealth to enhance her beauty. But it is supposed to be a remake so whatever.

The first song is quite nice? Like of course it is a Disney movie but it does well in establishing character motivations, and her (Snow's starting point) Rachel Zegler is quite beautiful but that awful hairstyle is so bad. It's so bad and not even close to the original and I don't understand why they made any decision for that at all. They try to insinuate that the Queen inflicted that hairstyle on her to purposely make her ugly but that's just feels like a weak afterthought after the criticism they received. Especially because she keeps the hairstyle at the end after the Evil Queen is gone. Hell, they could have legit just had the same haircut and not slicked it down to all hell so it doesn't look like lord farquad and instead just looks like a choppy rough haircut a child whose abusive stepmother cuts her hair out of spite and then ignores/neglects her would have.

Like for Waiting on a Wish I feel like it should be a bit later in the movie when she gets a little bit more brave and learns more about standing up to her abusive stepmother. Not just her belting out a song about how she's waiting to become her father's daughter and stand up to the Queen and be brave the FIRST MOMENT she shows a small bit of courage to try. The pacing is so off imo and as a whole it's not very engaging. I'm so sad about her dress for real ;; It looks like a cheap costume, and so does her wedding dress at the end. All of the costumes suffered from looking cheap and tacky, and the overall aesthetic/color palette of the film was garish.

Also!

Fuck Princess Problems that song is awful and should not fucking exist. I think it's completely mangled the heart of the story. It's an entire song mocking Snow White for being naive and stupid, and not having real problems.

The final resolution sucked. A little bit of good ideals but mostly awful and nonsensical. The cgi animals are not the best but they could be worse. There are some fun ideas and aspects, and the music is good (of course lol it's Disney) but it really doesn't feel like love or effort went into it. Rachel Zegler is hands down the best part about the movie, she is a very skilled singer and actress but everything else about the movie feels lazy and the movie itself is like garish and tacky. For instance - the locket was obviously designed to be merch and it didn't even look good as jewelry.

The live action - it's very saddening tbh. There are some aspects I can see that were done well and that I like, but overall it's just. Not very fun or fantastic/whimsical. Even if it wasn't to be compared to the original I think it's a bad movie overall. Not the worst, but it's not good. Rachel Zegler is by far the best part of the movie and she has DUST to work with, which sucks.

Anyway, if you haven't seen the animated one in a while I would definitely say to watch it again! It's a genuinely fun and lovely fairytale.

[old-people-like-avatar]

Netflix Avatar the Last Airbender -- S1E1: Aang Review [spoilers]

I just finished watching the first episode of Netflix's Avatar the Last Airbender. I have not read anyone else's reviews, so this is just my take. SPOILERS AHEAD.

Overall, somewhat surprisingly, I had a pretty positive reaction. I enjoyed some parts, really disliked other parts, but overall, pretty positive start.

THE GOODS

Sokka: I'll just come out and say I really enjoyed Ian Ousley's Sokka performance this episode: the way he was looking after Katara and the village, his bravery in fighting Zuko to protect Aang. The line delivery. He more than anyone else conveyed character through action (as opposed to character through clunky dialogue).

The bending/action: It all looked great! No complaints here.

Gran Gran saying the intro lines: Long ago the four nations lived in harmony! Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked! I was absolutely delighted at how they wove the cartoon intro lines organically into Gran Gran recounting of the 100 year war to Aang.

THE I-APPRECIATED-WHAT-THEY-WERE-DOING-BUT-NOT-SURE-THEY-PULLED-IT-OFF

Southern Air Temple: I really appreciated that this show tried to show us how alive and peaceful the air temple felt as they prepared for the comet festival before the Fire Nation burned everything to the ground. I loved seeing the room with the Yangchen statue. I loved the concept of starting off the show with Aang in his home. But I needed to see more of Aang really living in his home, of Aang having fun and being carefree, of Aang being Aang -- not just Aang floating down to the ground. The audience didn't really get to see the essence of who Aang is other than "the avatar" and "don't want the responsibility." They achieved some of what they were going for, but it could have been so much more.

THE BADS

Aang/Katara lacking connection: Sokka had a strong episode, but I did not feel much connection, if any, between Aang and Katara. I don't mean romantic connection. I mean any connection at all. We needed to see them interact more meaningfully before the Fire Nation attacked. Something felt missing (though ironically, I felt a connection between Aang and Sokka).

Terrible, clunky dialogue: They really need to learn to write better dialogue. (Didn't they learn from the movie?) Some of the lines -- even the ones meant to be emotional, like Gyatso's "I am your friend" -- came off so wooden. And not because of the acting. The Gyatso actor did an admirable job selling the lines he was given. But the problem so far is there's a little too much telling, too little showing. We needed more Gyatso airbending banana cakes or playing games with Aang, not Aang exposition-dialoguing to Appa about how he loves to eat banana cakes. And somehow, even when they showed, they still told! Why? For example, the episode did a fantastic job showing how Sokka was burdened with the responsibility of defending the village. Katara did not need to say, "I know how much responsibility this has been on you" or whatever that awful line was. Iroh's lines so far haven't really "hit" for me yet.

THE UNKNOWN

The kid actors: So far, I like all of the child actors, especially Ian Ousley's Sokka. Gordon Cormier also did a good job conveying Aang's lightness and humor. ("Sky bison!") I'm not sure yet about Katara and Zuko. Overall, I like what i see so far. But right now, I think the problem is more with the dialogue they've been given and less with the acting. But we shall see how things develop.

THE CONFUSING

Aang can fly without a glider...?

Why was Roku replaced with Kyoshi in the intro?

Onto the next one!

[intothedraft]

Chapter 5: Flairishia Loses Her Temper

Jezirah had a long pointed arrow sticking out from her side; her green outfit was being stained blood red.

That might be because it's being stained by blood, idk.

Clemant expresses more emotion here than she did when she found her parents' bodies, which is fair enough. I mean, the author clearly didn't give a shit about Clemant's long-haired parents, so why should Clemant?

“Jezzie!” cried Clemant, “Jezzie can you hear me?” Jezzie did not answer, she did not even move. “I started this war! Please be alive Jezzie, please!” Jezzie still did not answer, she was hardly even breathing. Clemant cradled Jezzie’s head in her cold arms, she knew she had to get help, but from who, everyone around her was fighting.

She eventually manages to flag down an unnamed fighter who helps Clemant carry Jezirah to a hospital of some kind.

“What was this thing that shot her? Was it one of the, er, Dying Screams?” “No.” “Oh shoot. If it was, they only use wooden arrows, but this one isn’t wooden, so it can’t be.” “It was some sort of, er, monster, thing, the arrows, they were coming, like out of its eyes.”

I thought that monster was one of the Dying Screams? It came out of the book, so... never mind. I can't keep track of the lore here. I guess the book should actually be called the Book of Dying Screams and Miscellaneous Monsters.

It's not looking good for Jezirah. Turns out that monster shoots poisoned arrows.

But wait... there may be hope.

“You are Clemant aren’t you?” “Yes.” “As in Clemant who came in riding Buxteni?” “Er, what?” “Er, a boat thing that is a little bit like a dog, follows you everywhere, you know.” “Er, yeh.” “Did you by chance take with you, a little sort of metal thing that has a little squirty thing on it? Made of this shiny metal, like I said, and has no label, no nothing?” “Er, yeh.” “Thank god, I thought you wouldn’t have brought it, we all thought you wouldn’t see the point!”

Er, you know, I don't think I included it in the chapter one post because I didn't see the point. But, er, in chapter one, Clemant does bring a spray-bottle with her, along with the other supplies. Er, that's handy! The boat appears, spray-bottle still onboard. The woman tells Clemant to leave while she... sprays Jezirah? I don't know. (Er.)

Clemant walked outside, knowing sadly that Jezzie would die. She was now outside the wall, and something was swinging at her, swinging from a vine. It was funny, that was just the power you would expect Jezirah to have.

Except... the spray bottle was going to save her? Eh, who knows. When I read who was swinging towards Clemant, my soul left my body for good.

“Look, I is, Anthony Sovance, ze head spy, and if you is wondering how no one will find out about me, tis because I have none of ze DNA.”

...

I'm going to need a lie down after this one.

It's dawned on me that I don't think the feud has been explained to Clemant in any real detail. Clemant knows that her parents were killed and it's something to do with Hiville, but that's it. Clemant works out that this man killed her parents, but... how? A good guess? She never saw him. Why does she think he killed them? Why does she not react to finding out he's a spy?

Anyway, turns out Anthony stole Jezirah's bangle and now has her powers. He argues with Clemant for a while, and then this happens.

“YOU TOOK JEZZIE’S BANGLE!” yelled Clemant, leaping and pushing the small man over. “And she will probably die now!” “Oh, I didn’t know that. Suppose it’s just two for ze price of one!” “GIVE ME IT!” she yelled, punching him as hard as she could in the face, and then taking the bangle off his wrist.

Come on girl, if you're going to give him that god-awful phonetic dialogue, at least keep it consistent. Also, this man easily killed two adults, but was easily beaten by an eight-year-old, even though he has a bracelet that gives him powers now.

Clemant puts on the bangle and... things start happening.

Wooden spikes seemed to be growing out of her tightly clenched fists, and there was a second pair of arms growing from just under her original pair. Her shoulders started stretching, and a pair of wings sprung out.

Please don't ask me why it had this effect on Clemant but not Anthony. Please don't ask me why the bangle would make a human grow four arms and wings, when so far Gevirians have been treated as a completely separate species to humans. Please don't ask me why it didn't make Jezirah grow wings. I have no answers. None.

She pulled Jezzie’s bracelet back, and then pushed it towards the man. A ling vine sprung out and stuck to his face. It rooted itself to his head, and Anthony was squealing like a stuck pig. “Don’t kill me!” pleaded the man, trying, (but failing) to pull the vine off his face. “You did kill my parents,” said Clemant. “So that’ll be life for life, blood for blood, won’t it?” She picked up the end of the vine, and started spinning it in circles, then let go. Anthony went spinning onto the battle field, and it was a very, very, long drop. He obviously died, which was good for him, as at that moment Flairishia managed to kill the million headed dragon an it fell on top of him. (It weighed three hundred and eighty five tonnes.)

This girl is EIGHT. But then again so was I when I first got the idea for this.

Make 'She obviously died, which was good for her' my epitaph.

“I’m indestructible!” she yelled, doing a little dance and sticking her arm in the air, which proved to be a bad thing, as someone threw a corn sack over her head and stole the bangle. Clemant felt something hard and metal press against her sweating face.

Rookie mistake, Clemant.

She is dragged away and thrown into a giant ice cube.

Clemant looked around. She was inside something. Something transparent, at first Clemant thought it was glass, but it wasn’t. It was a hollow cube of wet, hard glassy stuff. Clemant suddenly realised where she was. She was inside what seemed to be a giant ice cube, with no way out.

Literally.

There was a man in a swivel chair at the other side of the room, and he was puffing a huge cigar.

This guy sounds like pretty bad news.

The man is sitting on a shielded platform that keeps moving downwards. Some kind of cherry-picker, maybe? I don't know, Clemant can't really see through the ice, so although previously the narration has had brief moments of omniscience, we can't see it either. We do get told they're in a cave, though.

The Villain explains that his scientists created an enlarging robot (called Puridonne, for some reason) to make the ice cube large enough to imprison Clemant until she freezes to death. Wow, dude. If you have this many scientists cranking out villain gadgets you have absolutely no need for Hiville's magic. Or... I assume that's what you're after. I don't really know, because it still feels like you just want to murder children.

“Oh look,” muttered the man, but loudly enough for Clemant to hear. “There seems to be an ice prison underneath my balcony. Oh dear. I think I’ll crush it.” “NO!” screamed Clemant, her younger sister, Layane, was screaming inside the ice block, trying to reach Clemant.

THAT'S where she is. I like that she's been absent from the plot for so long that even as a child, I thought readers would need to be reminded of who Layane was.

The man (Alex?) starts lowering the platform/balcony, because he really wants to murder children. Unfortunately for him, Flairishia shows up, which is fairly predictable given the chapter heading. And, you know, Clemant is trapped in a block of ice.

“Escape when it’s melted kiddo!” [Flairishia] yelled, jumping over to the balcony. Her hair was sparking and waving everywhere, melting ice. “WHAT IS THAT?” yelled the man, staring at Flairishia’s flaming hair. “KEEP AWAY, YOU, YOU CREATURE, THING!”

Rude.

Flairishia gets angry, then walks past the robot, which turns her into an enormous wall of fire.

“Damn those scientists!” he yelled. “First the Pandiro bird got destroyed by some dissecting people, now the Puridonne makes her grow really tall!”

Don't you just hate it when that happens.

“Shall I kill you, or imprison you for life?” roared Flairishia. “Neither. This balcony is fully cold, heat and fire proof, so you can’t come in. And, it’s water proof as well.” Suddenly he got punched hard at the back of his head. “Yeh, but it’s not Shafina proof,” muttered Flairishia, suddenly turning back to normal, only her hair was fire now. Well, normal apart from the face she was over five meters tall. She sighed, and made herself normal size again. Shafina floated over to them, taking her normal form. She had only managed to sneak in because she took the form of the man’s shadow. Apparently she did something wrong occasionally, but he did not notice, thank heaven.

Do you think I missed my chance to write bad superhero movies? Are they all written by AI now?

I'm certain I must have stolen the 'Yeah, but it's not [character]-proof' dialogue from somewhere, but I have no idea where. Let me know if you have any guesses. I think this was written in 2004 if that helps.

I also love that Shafina, who can canonically remove someone's DNA, whatever that means, defeats this jackass by punching him.

“Where is Layane?” asked Clemant. “She was inside an ice cube last time I saw her.” “Shafina’s got her. She picked her up, thinking she would catch fire, and she’s taken her back to G-slur's place, I think.”

I mean, I'm glad Layane wasn't killed, but it would have been pretty funny if she was.

“OK, is the war still going on?” “No, I kind of, caught fire and it seemed to kill most of them. A few fighters are after the others.” “Is Jezzie all right?” “All right enough for someone who got shot by a poisoned arrow, I guess,” said Flairishia, handing Clemant Jezzie’s bangle.

That was over fast. These Gevirians get shit done.

Yeah. These guys definitely have to fight the Dying Screams once every few years. It must be like the Olympics for them.

[faetal-b]

Nosferatu was sooo bad. I don't give a fuck about his intentions it ended up wrong, for me he totally failed to convey her desire and turned Orlok into a sexually abusive maniac. It just felt like rape porn all of the time. I don't know, he had an opportunity of speaking about the horrors of child sexual abuse going into adulthood since he basically portrayed that but no "they long and yearn for one another" and he's "the demon lover".

For a moment i thought that she would get a different ending than the traditional one and stab him with a fucking wooden spear or something and live but no, she has to sacrifice her body, again, get raped, but hug him in the end?? And the scene with a pool of blood underneath her?? That was so fucking unnecessary, it honestly makes me want cry. Not to talk about the other sex scenes like the necrophilia one. My god i'm so done with male directors! I managed to avoid poor creatures because i knew it would make so pissed! How did i fail with this oooone?! Never again will they get my money, fucking losers

Ok so, I wanna try and express myself in the best way possible because i'm super passionate about this and my english becomes awful when i am. I completely agree on the fact that the desire was not well conveyed, it felt forced and rushed and it was hard to empathize with. However, i do not think it fetishizes sexual abuse, and i think movies don't have to convey a moral lesson and that it's actually fine if Ellen is attracted to him and that she gives in; I actually believe Eggers should've ditched her childhood backstory completely and not make it about childhood sexual abuse at all. I mean, vampirism is already a metaphor for rape (amongst all the other things it could symbolize), and i guess an evil vampire that wants to consume the world is allowed to be a depraved monster sexually abusive maniac tbh. i think through removing the childhood part, the movie would've been more about her attraction to darkness and her repressed sexual desire and less about her being literally attracted to her abuser, so it would've looked less like rape porn. I mean, both older versions already do this, ellen/lucy has an innate connection to nature and darkness, and orlock is drawn to her because of it, and he learns she exists trough thomas' locket and then pursuits her because he sees her as the perfect companion (if i remember correctly) and i think it works perfectly! I think the rapey vibe is given by adding that backstory and the awful dialogue between them. Also making him possessive and authoritarian ruins the vibe too, it looks like she is drawn to him because he dominates her as a man, while in the older versions it feels more like she's actually conflicted between the goodness in her heart and the calling of darkness.

About the ending, i don't think making her kill the bad guy that way (which is how dracula is killed in the book, just not by her but by the men) is not as interesting and thematically coherent, but that's my opinion. I think ellen's sacrifice in the older movies makes so much sense! First of all, she's forced to be the one to do it because the men around her are being absolutely useless, and it's specifically the sacrifice that gives away the fact that something inside her is drawn to him (while up to that moment it could've been just orlock hypnotizing her using his vampiric powers), and she ends up saving the town and doing the good thing while also giving in to the darkness and being consumed by it. I guess you could see it as "women secretly want to be raped" but I don't, and i think it's far more interesting and poetic than some kind of rape and revenge. Is it depressing? is it wrong and not ideal? yeah but again, i don't think art should always be giving moral lessons. They can just say something about human weaknesses, even when we don't like them, even if it's not something that would be ideal in our personal lives. Again, it think killing orlock with a stake in the heart would feel to me like some kind of rape and revenge which i don't think is that interesting or useful to be honest. I like the tragedy of it, i like that it also says something about orlock, being so obsessed with her, being so lonely and so hungry that he forgets about everything else and ends up killed by his own desperate hunger.

I don't even particularly care about the necrophilia either I'm sorry, it was just random, but I mean it's a horror movie where people are going mad because evil itself has come to town, i guess it makes sense that they start doing depraved shit...and it's not even like you see him humping her or something, but i get that it might've upset you.

at the end of the day I don't think egger's problem is a moral one, I just think he was so obsessed with the idea of giving his spin to it, and his obsession to GIVE A MESSAGE that he forgot to tell a story, and the story would've given us multiple messages on his own, but he wanted to make it about sexual repression and sexual abuse at all costs and kept screaming it in a way that felt ungenuine and simplistic, and we honestly just end up seeing a woman being horny for a dickhead. it just became too literal and spelled out for you that it loses its depth, it became too earthly, too specific, less universal, less abstract. So you end up just asking yourself, ok but why should I care? There's no conflict, yeah she loves thomas, but it's clear that she's horny for him and wants him and she says it explicitly, so we already know that she's gonna give in and that she's gonna enjoy it. in a way I do agree with you, it could say something about sexual abuse if her desire for him was more subconscious and conflicted. But his movie only means what it says it means, it ONLY talks about one thing because Orlock LITERALLY is just a person who abused her and she wants to fuck, and not a representation of darkness, evil, animal instincts, AND internal conflict on sexual abuse. I don't know if that makes sense...I think what Eggers wanted to do was already done perfectly in herzog and murnau's versions, he could've taken that route and still make it hornier and freakier and more sexually explicit (it would've been so cool to be honest)

Btw i also kinda think it's more feminist to explore female contraddictions, to accept that women can be imperfect, have feelings that are deemed "wrong" and self destructive rather than having a fable about conquering your traumas and kill the abuser, at least not all the time. Some women never get over it, some women forgive and are drawn to their abusers, some women come out of abuse as worse people and never come back to how they were before, some women give in to the darkness. Not saying that eggers does this well, he doesn't, but that's my take on this topic.

Plus the movie was boring lol. I hope I don't sound like an edgelord if I say I don't care about the moral lesson, but I do think it's important that art, especially horror, explores the dark side of things, and idk i didn't see it as fetishizing but I understand if you do and I respect your opinion on this. i don't know if this thing i wrote is readable, but i'd love to get more movie rants in my inbox haha