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foxcroft-rpg-blog · 8 years ago

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Congratulations, Emily! Honestly, your application was just beautiful. You really understand all the things that drive Nina. You see that she may be bruised, but she is by no means broken. I’m really happy you applied, and I’m happier to accept you. Can’t wait to see what you do with Nina!

Thanks again for applying! Please create your account and send in the link, track the right tags, and follow everyone on the masterlist as soon as you can. Welcome to Foxcroft!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Name: Emily

Age: Twenty

Preferred pronouns: she/her

Time zone: GMT.

Activity: I would say that my activity is firmly a 6/7. I am in my final year of university, so that obviously has to take priority, but my semester finishes at the end of March. I do have essay deadlines and exams coming up across April/May, but they’re definitely manageable. So I’d say I’ll be pretty active – definitely on to do replies every other day or so and I’m pretty much always available to plot!

Anything else?: Nope! Just to thank you for looking over my app.

IN CHARACTER

(TW: Miscarriage)

Full name: Nina Florencia Delgado.

NINA: The name Nina may originate from the old Slavic word Ninati, meaning "dreamer" or “dream”. Nina had so many dreams. She would write them out on a notepad each day before she went to sleep, stick them up on the wall she shared with one of her siblings, memorise them and whisper them underneath her breath until they could become true. Willing them to be. It wasn’t much. She didn’t dream of grandeur, no aspirations to touch the ceiling of the world, or to be somebody. She only wanted happiness, to dedicate her life to the service of others and one day teach Spanish to her children and plait their hair. Unfortunately, that dream – the most longed for dream of all, if she’s being honest – was stolen from her in a cruel twist of fate. Many would have given up dreaming all together, curled up in a ball and allowed the pain to consume them. But not Nina. True to her nature, she allowed that dream to fade away, focusing on the others instead. Those will come true – even if she has to peel parts of herself off to make it so.

FLORENCIA: In Spanish the meaning of the name Florencia is: Flowering. Blooming. Nina doesn’t fit the conventional description of a flower. Her petals aren’t so easily torn. She isn’t something temporary, lasting for a moment. If anything, she’s the stable oak, roots plunging underground, stoic when the gale howls. But, in many ways, she is the bloom of summer, the inward beauty you cannot help but stop and admire. She’s an individual full of potential, someone capable of everything and anything, someone who continues to fight even when struck down, who continues to see the good and beautiful in the world, in spite of everything she’s endured. Through the winter frost, she comes out the other side – ready to grow again, ready to bloom.

DELGADO: Spanish and Portuguese: nickname for a thin person, from Spanish, Portuguese delgado ‘slender’ (Latin delicatus 'dainty’, 'exquisite’, a derivative of deliciae 'delight’, 'joy’). Although most people wear the names of their father, Nina chose a long time ago to don that of her mothers. Her father ran away without so much as a goodbye, a permanent hole in her life. So why would she want his name? No, instead, she chose her mothers. She chose to wear the mark of a woman who gave everything she had to her children, who loved in buckets, who has always been there for Nina whenever she needed it. Even when engaged, Nina was adamant about double barrelling her surname, wanting to carry that important part of her life – a part of her family – with her even in a life started far far away. However, it’s more than just the love she has for her family. It’s a mark of her heritage too – designating her as coming from Latina heritage, something she is immensely proud of. Even when far from their roots, Nina was raised to have pride in and to embrace their traditions – for example, they’ve always spoken Spanish at home and they’ve always maintained ties with the local Latin American community within Foxcroft, few as they may be. Names are important – and Nina is proud of hers.

Date of birth: July 7th, 1992

Cancer: Deeply intuitive and sentimental, Cancer can be one of the most challenging zodiac signs to get to know. They are very emotional and sensitive, and care deeply about matters of the family and their home. Cancer is sympathetic and attached to people they keep close. Those born with their Sun in Cancer are very loyal and able to empathize with other people’s pain and suffering. The sign of Cancer belongs to the element of Water, just like Scorpio and Pisces. Guided by emotion and their heart, they could have a hard time blending into the world around them. Being ruled by the Moon, phases of the lunar cycle deepen their internal mysteries and create fleeting emotional patterns that are beyond their control. As children, they don’t have enough coping and defensive mechanisms for the outer world, and have to be approached with care and understanding, for that is what they give in return. Lack of patience or even love will manifest through mood swings later in life, and even selfishness, self-pity or manipulation. They are quick to help others, just as they are quick to avoid conflict, and rarely benefit from close combat of any kind, always choosing to hit someone stronger, bigger, or more powerful than they imagined. When at peace with their life choices, Cancer representatives will be happy and content to be surrounded by a loving family and harmony in their home.

How long have they been in Foxcroft: Nina has lived in Foxcroft on and off for her entire life – mostly on. Born and raised there, it has always been – and probably always will be – her home. It’s the place where she grew up and as such, contains a thousand different memories, many of them positive, most of them centering upon her family. That, however, wasn’t enough to stop her ambition. It wasn’t so much for a hatred of Foxcroft than it was a desire and determination for more that spurred her to leave it once she graduated. Indeed, she could have stayed on at Foxcroft community college – and was initally tempted to, wanting to stay close to her family - but it was her mother who persuaded her to stay on. You’ve dedicated your life to us, now go live it. With her blessing, Nina moved on, attending a college within state, but several hours away from Foxcroft. In truth, she never thought she’d be back – especially once she met her future fiancé. There was simply no need return for anything more than visits, especially as her siblings grew themselves. As soon as she found out she was pregnant – and with their wedding looming – they put a deposit down on a house, far far away from the place she once called home. Now, they would build their own lives – and she would be free for good. It all seemed so permanent then. It was only with tragedy and heartbreak that she found herself calling up the real estate agent and asking them to find her an apartment back in Foxcroft. Nothing short of the total loss she had experienced could have brought her back. She wanted to find both solace and security in a familiar place and people. Now, she thinks she’ll probably be in Foxcroft forever – and it’s something she’s coming to terms with.

Sexuality: Labels aren’t something Nina’s ever been particularly enthusiastic about. You can diagnose an illness, you can prescribe antibiotics, but you can’t pigeon hole love. When it strikes, it strikes – and you have no control over that. Although she’s only ever been in a relationship with men (a man, in fact, someone she once considered to be the love of her life), she likes to consider herself open to the possibility of engaging in a same-sex relationship, even if it’s not anything she’s ever actively pursued. In fact, since breaking up with her fiancé, she hasn’t been on any dates. There’s a small part of her that thinks no one will ever want her now, that she’s a bit broken – no good to anyone. So she pulls away, reluctant to engage in such intimacy, where she knows that one day, she’ll have to confess – and break her heart all over again. So, if pressed on the subject, she’d probably describe herself as heterosexual, just because it avoids questions and because based off previous experiences, that seems to be the best designation, but she considers herself to be more flexible than that. Based on the kinsey scale, she’d put herself at a 3.

FC change: N/A. I couldn’t change Lindsey…I just…I can’t.

How do you interpret this character’s personality? How will you portray them? Include two weaknesses and two strengths.

Description:

Brave girl, they whisper under their breath when they see her. The girl who shot for the stars, but fell towards earth. Many people would like to define Nina in terms of not who she is, but what she failed to be. They would like to call her phoenix – and talk about how she crawled out from underneath the ashes. They would like to pigeon hole her because of her loss, dictate the terms of it, and pinpoint exactly how it changed her. To a trained eye, it can be done, because it has. But that isn’t the truth – not the whole truth anyway. The loss of her baby changed her, it burdened her with a grief she’s only just coming to terms with, rubbed away her soft edges. But it would be false to say that everything she is can be derived from that one moment. Nina isn’t a summary of one experience. She’s a product of her entire life – the good and the bad. The difference is, she’s always been drawn towards the former – and that’s all she’s ever allowed to shine.

Someone who has always been a beacon, a steady anchor to root yourself around, a permanent presence, Nina was made to be an Angel, a saviour of sorts. She would be fundamentally good. Self-sacrificing before she even knew what the term meant, she’s always been happy to put others before herself, drawing her strength from their happiness. At first, it was her family – the siblings she nurtured and protected, the brothers and sisters she orientated her life around – and the mother she counted as her best friend and closest confidante. Now, it’s her students, the young minds of tomorrow she so desperately wants to shield. She’s always been a little bit like that – an unseen shield, someone you may not even know is there. The ultimate mother figure and mom friend, she was constructed from concepts of kindness and compassion – and has always allowed them to shine through, being driven by their ideals. It is, after all, why she became a nurse.

And yet, despite that, you would be a fool for thinking that it made her delicate. She was never gentle, porcelain or easily shattered. She’s always been stronger than that. Hardworking and determined, she’s always known who she is and what it is she wants, confident in her identity. Even now, she isn’t some broken shell of a girl. She continues to be who she’s always been (that is, after all, why she had to break up with her fiancé, who treated her as if she were made of cotton wool), or at least, she’s trying to be. She’s not here for pity. That’s why she continued to follow the only dream she had left, determined to grasp something – even if it was the shortest of straws. Like a bird, she always wished to fly free, to escape Foxcroft and build something for herself, a life worth having, even if it was nothing more than simple pleasures, the most humane of human experiences. Nina has become a dreamer with her wings clipped, grounded to the dusty earth. But even then, she’s making the best of a bad situation, resilient in her force of mind.

Despite her efforts, despite gritting her teeth and burying her grief, she continues to be scarred by her experiences – albeit a mute one. Unable to speak out about what has happened to her, she feels a little trapped – rooted only by her singular desire to help others. Her pain has become a constant companion – one she’s learning to live with, one she’s trying not to let consume her. Never complaining, never wiltering, never faulting, she tries not to be haunted by the loss of her child – and the loss of the life she had wanted for herself. That will not be her story. She has more to give and offer to the world – and so she does, even if it is all of herself. Fundamentally, Nina is human. (Technically, no, but in who she is? Yes. ). She embodies the best of humanity, the versatility, the courage, the desire to better oneself, the care that is needed to rear another generation, the desire to put others first, to dedicate your life in their service. After all, what’s more human than that?

Character traits:

COURAGEOUS: not deterred by danger or pain; brave. Life is tough, but so is she. Even in the face of adversity, Nina has remained true to who she is, her goals and her morals, determined to remain who she is at that core. Doing that requires bravery and strength that isn’t found in every person, a characteristic that makes Nina truly Nina. She has always been strong, but now, there’s a newfound iron in her blood and manner to which she holds herself accountable.

ALTRUISTIC: showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others; unselfish. Some people struggle to put others first – but not Nina. It’s been a defining characteristic throughout her entire life, beginning the moment her first sibling was born – and never fading, even until this day. Her choice of lifestyle and career means her concern spans far wider than blood – to close and weak bonds, to those she hardly knows. Pure-hearted and led with good intentions, every action is spurred forward by this desire – one she will never allow to fade.

STEADFAST: resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering. Faithful and loyal, Nina isn’t the type to give up on a person, on herself or something she’s put her mind to. Determined and resilient, she remains an ever constant, refusing to let her experiences shift her away from the person she knows she has to be. It takes all of herself that she has to give, but she’s immensely proud of herself for doing so.

PRIVATE: not willingly revealing ones feelings. Although she encourages people to trust and confide in her, she finds it incredibly hard to do the same. Always used to being the strong one for everyone else, she’s all but forgotten how to confess in others. Keeping her pain and her secrets pressed close to her heart, she’s somewhat of a closed book. She doesn’t intend to be – but it’s simply the way the world has made her – and she’s not sure if it’ll change anytime soon.

MELANCHOLIC: feeling or expressing pensive sadness. She wasn’t always this way. Even if she wasn’t the peppy cheerleader, she always had a ready smile to give her siblings, feeding off of their happiness and love. But that changed when her baby died and she was told that she could never bear children of her own. In that moment, her heart was twisted, perhaps beyond repair. Now, although she tries not to be and does her best to remain cheerful, she is plagued by a sorrow she cannot shake, a grief that penetrates down to the deepest parts of her soul.

STRONG-WILLED: determined to do as one wants even if other people advise against it. Steel-minded, Nina is not so easily distracted or dissuaded once she’s put her mind to something, even if that decision could be costly. As selfless as she is, that’s usually a price paid by herself. Whilst it’s admirable that she’s so willing to sacrifice herself or her happiness, it’s dangerous – especially in the wake of her newfound abilities. If she isn’t careful, that resolution of hers is going to get her into more trouble than she can cope with.

Personality analysis: X

How did this character react to the death of Hazel Abrams? Adam Foxcroft?

As someone who’s call in life is to patch and mend, any loss of life is tragic. The death of anyone, stranger of otherwise, gives her cause to pause, a moment to lament, to pay her respects and wish them a peaceful transition. But a death in such a violent manner? In many ways, that might be worse than slowly wasting away. Nina couldn’t claim to know either individual well. Despite them being of a similar age to her, they were nothing more than familiar faces glimpsed in the hallways at school, the figure at the back of her class, a facebook friend you accept and don’t think twice about again. Thus, their deaths did little to touch her personally. She couldn’t claim to truly grieve them, to be devastated, or forced to string the pieces of herself back together.

Hazel’s death happened soon after her return, within weeks in fact. Dutifully, she turned out for the memorial, lit a candle in the square, gave her condolences to Hazel’s family and did her best to honour her own dead child. It did, however, touch her life in different ways. She was suddenly a lot more aware of the town, the people in it and the potential for darkness it possessed. She sat down her siblings and explained to them about travelling in pairs. She herself kept her keys between her knuckles as she walked to her car at night. When her students came to see her, she would ask after their mental health, not just their physical bodies. With Hazel’s death, something in Foxcroft had changed. She was afraid, to think that someone so violent could live among them – that they would escape justice. When the case went cold, a chill ran through her spine. Over time, however, a new normality settled in. And then Adam Foxcroft died.

Whereas some were less chilled by his death, almost shrugging it off with explanations of Well, he’s a Foxcroft or he ran in bad crowds, Nina was determined to honour him the same, seeing only the loss of human life, not the caveats that came with it. Once again, she felt her heartbreak as her thoughts inevitably turned to her baby, lost before its time. And then, she went through the motions again – the funeral, the memorial, the warmest of touches whenever she saw anyone who she knew had cared for Adam. Their deaths have certainly increased her awareness – and she now founds herself being slightly bound to them by her encounter with Neil – and his status as the primary suspect. But, more than anything else, it’s made her more determined. With all this death and destruction, what Foxcroft needs, more than anything else, is someone to heal.

How do they see the town and its people? Think about the different groups of people and prejudices the town holds about them.

Nina’s never truly been one to divide the town up into its factors and cliques. She sees them as individual people – not the groups that they might belong to. There’s no bad guy group for her, or the good kids – they’re just people. That perspective comes from her own experiences more than anything else. Absorbed with caring for her siblings as a teenager, she mainly skipped out on the typical high school experiences, which included the part where everyone became typecast into their factions. Thus, uninvolved in it all, she never learnt to see people like that, in terms of the prejudices Foxcroft holds against them. And, as someone who considers herself to be not judgy at all, she likes to think that she never would. In terms of how people perceive her, many people might ask who? Slipping under the radar during high school and mostly keeping to herself, her profile was low – and Nina didn’t care about making a statement for herself. Too many things were important. These days, a few might know her as the girl who didn’t get away, or by her job description as the nurse. Nina definitely isn’t someone who has much of a reputation in Foxcroft, which allows her to stay above the in-fighting and drama – exactly how she likes it.

As for Foxcroft itself, it isn’t so much the small-town life she’s opposed to than the small town she found herself in. When pregnant, diamond ring on her finger, she had planned to move to a small-ish town, to raise her child somewhere safe, where there would be good schools. There is a certain appeal to the life of a small town, in its comfort and security – if you find the right place. Foxcroft was never that – and she recognised that, practically from birth. There was never anything particularly wrong with Foxcroft. After all, her upbringing was not damaged by the place she inhabited. Despite that, she dreamed of making it out, escaping and setting up home somewhere else. She knew, from a young age, that she had a future to be claimed – prospects far far away from Foxcroft. In an ideal world, her dreams would have whisked her away – and she never would have had a reason to return other than for Christmas and Birthdays. But life is cruel – and she finds herself back where it all began. She’s trying not to feel bitter about that, to not resent being pulled back into its clutches, attempting to make something of herself in the town, in her job and new-found state. But it’s harder than it seems. And Foxcroft, with all its mystery and murder? It certainly isn’t making her aspirations any easier.

For non-human characters: What does this character know about what they’ve become? Have they had any experiences that made them aware that weren’t exactly human?

She had never believed in ghost stories. Sure enough, she would dutifully take her siblings trick-or-treating on Halloween each year and celebrated The Day of the Dead with enthusiasm, but the idea that there was something else out there? Please. Her world was centered on what was either real or could be achieved. Her dreams were not plucked from the world of fairy tales, but concrete desires she knew she could make reality. After all, she always worked for everything she achieved – so the idea that there was something supernatural was, well, a little laughable. She liked to believe that there was something beyond death, perhaps a heaven, or a place she would see her child once again, but that was an afterlife – something beyond death, not something beyond humanity. So, needless to say, she was more than surprised at what happened the moment she saw Neil Monroe lying at the side of the road.

It was easy to initially write it off as a dream. It was late at night – she was tired, she couldn’t be sure that what was happened to her was real. One moment he was injured – the next, he wasn’t. That seemed like a figment of imagination to her. And yet, the moment she woke up the next morning, her back aching and scars etched into her skin, she knew, definitively, that it hadn’t been a dream. It was a living sort of nightmare. She studied her marks in the mirror for the longest of times, dressing them with cream to soothe and bandages to heal – grateful that she at least knew how to treat her injuries. (All the while not knowing that what had drawn her towards her profession in the first place was the very reason she could do such things). Trying to make sense of it all, she wrote down everything she had experienced in the grief journal her therapist gave her.

Neil Monroe was injured.

I touched him. I tried to help him.

Now he is fine – and it is I who is injured.

Those three facts seem crazy (and she can’t confide them in anyone), but they are true. That is perhaps the most terrifying thing of all.

Yet, even then, she wasn’t quite willing to admit the truth until she saw the headline news. Neil Monroe: found safe and sound. It was then that she finally admitted to herself that something had happened the night before – and that she had a part in it. Watching him leave Police questioning that day, without scratch nor bruise (whilst she herself was in agonising pain), she knew that she had healed him.

That night, she added a fourth fact.

4. I healed Neil Monroe by touching him. His injures became mine.

Then, she locked the journal in her top drawer.

She could never name what it is that she is, or fully admit that she might not be human yet (because what is more human than wanting to help people?), but she does have a running theory: that she can heal people by touching them – and that she herself will take on their injuries. Right now, she can’t be sure whether it was a fluke, whether it was Neil who did something (and not her) or whether it will ever happen again. She wants to test her theory, but she doesn’t know what it was she did or how to trigger that part of herself, so she’s a little wary of doing so. But, one thing she does know for certain is that if she can control it, if she can, indeed, heal people with one touch – then she will. She wants to help people, happy to offer up all parts of herself to do so. This allows her to do so. This is perhaps a gift. And such gifts should be used.

Please include 1-2 possible plots your see for this character

THE HEART OF A HEALER: Nina is only just beginning to scratch the surface of who she is and what it is she can do. She’s always been a healer, yes, but she placed her trust in medicine and science, knowing that faith enough is not enough to sow a wound back together. Now however, she can do that. Her hands are more than just the tools to wield instruments. They possess power in themselves. Over the course of this roleplay, I’d love for Nina’s arc to concern her exploring her powers. She needs to work out what she can do and what it means for her to do. The first step of this is probably going to be trying to talk to Neil about what happened that night and then having the experience repeated. Once she does work out what she is (even if she can never place a label on it) then the path forward becomes clear. She’s going to help people. In a town as bloody and broken as Foxcroft, there’s a lot of damage – and she can begin to salve the wounds. It won’t be plain sailing. These abilities will push her to the brink of possibility and force her to grapple with the fundamental question – can I heal without breaking myself? Where Nina is concerned, she’s happy to give herself up in order to help others. The question then becomes – will she pay the ultimate price for that?

THE TIES THAT BIND: Relationships are important to Nina – and play an instrumental part in defining who she is and her priorities. Therefore, I’m equally as excited to explore the different relationships in this roleplay, for Nina to interact not just with predetermined connections, but with everyone. I will say that in particular, I’m looking forward to exploring both Nina and Summer and Nina and Wells. I’m a sucker for familial relationships, so Nina having Summer is just so important. Each of them has been through so much – and they both need a shoulder to lean on, someone to talk to at the end of a long day, to express themselves without fear of judgement. Summer is her closest friend – and she fulfils such an important role. Where Wells is concerned, they are one and the same. There are so many parallels between the pair of them, not to mention their status as Wyrths. Is there truly anyone that can understand the other like the two of them? They’ve both been through so much, lost people they love and can count grief as an old friend. Now, as they come to terms with who they are, they’re going to need the other as a shoulder to lean on, someone to confide in and perhaps – the truest of friends. In a sense, they’re almost like twinned souls, complementing each other. Exploring that – and watching it unfold – is one of the things I am most excited for.

WRITING SAMPLE

“This is a safe space. Anything you say here will remain confidential. You don’t need to be afraid. Look at the people around you – everyone is going through exactly the same thing.”

The group’s leader, their words calming and measured, did little to soothe her anxieties. Almost by instinct, Nina pressed her lips shut, burying her confessions where no one might ever find them. Eyes flickered from side to side, each person looking for the person who would speak up, who would break the tension that had fallen, who would bear open their soul. It was Nina’s fifth session – and she had done little more than state her name, occupation and bring doughnuts when it was her turn. I don’t mean to be so…useless, she once admitted, but I can’t give a voice to what happened either. Not yet. Grief takes time Nina. You are healing, bit by bit. So why didn’t it ever feel that way? Everyone said that time eased things and that the ticking of the clock was supposed to lift you up. But her heart felt as heavy as ever. Often, she blinked it away, forced the storm from her mind. As she worked, things would even feel normal (from time to time, when she didn’t see her baby’s still-closed, never-opened, blue eyes on a student, when she didn’t see the pregnant teacher walk down the hallway, blossoming). But then came the sorrow. Then came the remembrance. Nothing will ever be normal again.

“Nina?”

Firmly, she shook her head from side to side, offering an apologetic smile. She had never liked disappointing people, always happy to chisel off pieces of herself to put the world at ease. Until now, that was. “I’m sorry – I – not today. It’s been a long week.” Longer than usual. For whilst the touch of the grim reaper would so often blemish a smile, that wasn’t the only thing weighing down on her mind. When she closed her eyes at the dead of night, it wasn’t just a still not-wholly-formed body she saw, but a flash of rain and the blood of Neil Monroe. Sitting straighter in her chair, a shot of pain sent ripple waves through her body. Three days – and she hadn’t yet become accustomed to her new marks, the signal of change, of something new. Impossible to untangle, unable to make sense of it all, she prayed for them to heal. Perhaps then she could forget about it all. Somehow, she doubted it. It felt as if she lay on the cusp of the beginning – as if it was all only just about to begin. Absentmindedly, she wondered if they would scar – and if her body would come to resemble what her soul had become.

“Is everything alright?” A pause. “Other than the obvious, of course.”

She didn’t want to lie. That wasn’t who she was. Deceit and ill-intentions had never mixed well with her. She was far too simple for that, or so she had been. Just a girl who had wanted three simple things in the world – and who had the most important of them all stolen away. My life should have been so different from this. Even as she thought the words, she knew it was useless to wistfully wish for something that could not be. Never the sort of person to lose themselves in their mind, in hopelessness or in grief, she exhaled heavily, steeling herself for a response that would not appear to be so transparent. “It’s been a long week at work – that’s all.” People could always sympathise with that – assuming she might despise her job. For Nina, it was the opposite. She sometimes felt as if her job was the only thing keeping her anchored to the ground and hoped that by healing others, she might one day be able to heal herself. It was an idle, wistful thought, but she wasn’t sure what else to hold onto, other than that. Some people asked her if it was strange, to walk the same halls again. She would always laugh. I’m there more now than I ever was back then. How long ago her own high school days seemed, a time packed to the brim with family and hard work, with chasing dreams and endless possibilities.

“Of course. We understand.”

They did. Each person in this room had felt death’s touch one way or another. They all knew what it was to feel a piece of your soul torn away, to wake up and know that the person you loved was no longer in the land of the living. They lived in two worlds – the real one – and the one inside of their minds. “My daughter worked too hard as well.” A man to her side said that, his eyes wistfully turning over memories, smiling a little as he did. She wished she could reach that point, where she could think of her baby (someone she had been unable to name) and smile. But somehow, she doubted she ever could. For whilst these people had something to cling onto, an object, memories, something real – all she had ever had was potential. There had been her baby’s heartbeat at the first scan – how steady it had sounded. There was the first time they had kicked, just two weeks before they were lost all together. There was the time she had requested they (or, she supposes, he) be placed in her arms, wrapped in a blanket so you couldn’t feel how cold they were. But did that even count as a memory, if her child had been dead at the time? She had no wish to deprive the people around her of their memories. She only wished she had a few more of her own.

Ah, wishes, they’ll break your heart. Her mother had said that to her once, stroking her hair. Nina had never really believed in them, not really. She had never wished on shooting stars or when it turned 11:11 – and even donated her birthday cake wish to a sibling each year. I don’t need wishes to make my dreams come true. As it turned out, she would need a miracle.

Wasn’t that the worst, the most bitter of things? Whilst losing a person was bad enough, a child even worse – Nina had lost a part of her identity. Biology would deny her children to call her own, stolen her youth and all she had ever wanted.

No point feeling sorry for yourself. After all, you won’t let anyone. The pity of it all had been the worst. If at first she had crumbled, confined to her bed for days after the incident, she had quickly risen, biting her lip to prevent the pain, trying to restore normality to her life. I still have my two feet. I can stand on them. Her fiancé hadn’t understood that. At times, she wonders if he liked her weak. She asked as much the day she returned his ring. I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you. I can’t marry someone who looks at me as if I might break every time they touch me – because I won’t. I suffered a great loss – but I won’t let this be the story of my life. I still have more to offer, things to do.

And wasn’t that why she was in Foxcroft?

Maybe that’s what happened with Neil. It was a strange little voice that spoke, one that sought to question science and logic, that believed in the possibility of fate and destiny, that there might be a greater divine force. Maybe you healed him for a reason. It was the most human response of all, to search for clarity, for a why whenever uncertainty struck.

Nina wasn’t human. But she couldn’t have known that in that moment, nor might she ever. But in that moment, she certainly felt like one.

EXTRA:

How would you feel about this character dying?: I’m game for it. As much as I’d love to see Nina happy, I think that the true testament to her character is her willingness to put others first and in time, perhaps her readiness to sacrifice herself for them. Part of being a wyrth is grappling with the balance of saving others and saving yourself. I can definitely see Nina going too far one day, taking on an injury that ends up being fatal, or simply exhausting herself in the process. I’d love to know ahead of time – and perhaps collaborate on the circumstances of her death – but it’s definitely a yes from me.

Why did you choose this character?: I was torn between quite a few characters for quite a chunk of time – which is why I didn’t get this app in for the initial round of acceptances! But I think, for me, what really sold me was Nina’s strength. Fortified in the face of adversity, Nina is someone who has endured heartbreak and the weight of the world. She knows what it is to hope and dream – to come so close – but, in the end, to lose. And yet, despite that, she hasn’t given up. She remains who she always has been, a beacon of strength, an anchor, someone who is willing to dedicate everything about themselves to the service of others. I’m such a sucker for characters who have had the world thrown at them and who emerge stronger on the other side, the phoenix type characters, if you will.

Extras:

Mockblog: X

Headcanons:

Signing up for private therapy a few months ago, her therapist made several suggestions. One was to attend a grief group session – which she’s done, remaining silent in each one. The second was to find several coping mechanisms, ways to honour the past without truly letting go, in a way that would help her to define her future. Taking on their advice, she’s done this in two different ways. The first is through a tattoo. Inked in the space between her chest and her shoulder, where few will ever glimpse, there’s a single bird, a dove – small, childlike, standing with its wings open, as if it could take off at any moment. One bird for one child, a way of ensuring that her baby would be there at all times, even if it isn’t in the way she wanted. The second is through a headstone. Miscarrying at nearly six months, her child was more than a bundle of cells. They had limbs, a heart, fingers and toes. They had a form. It only seemed right to honour that human life, even in death. Thus, one of the last things Nina and her fiancé did was to bury their child, in a graveyard not far from where they both attended college. Although it’s a several hour round trip, Nina tries to visit the site and lay flowers every three months. She’s not sure if these two methods help her cope – she supposes that she won’t know until they do help.

Coming back to Foxcroft in a fragile and emotional state, Nina clung to the familairty to help her through it. Although she knew she couldn’t move back into the old family home (she loved her family, but both parties needed their space), she moved as close as possible, in an apartment just a ten minute walk from their home. She spends as much time as she can in her families presence – helping in whatever way she can, with group projects, cooking, telling stories – anything that makes her feel close to them. In a weekly tradition, Nina spends every Sunday with them. Now that her siblings are slightly older, they take turns with the cooking. One week it’s her mother, the next it’s Nina and the third all three siblings band together and make something edible. After stuffing themselves, they spend most Sunday afternoons playing old banged up card or board games, or watching re-runs of the same films on TV. Having always adored her family, she’s happy to spend time with them, glad to be close to them once again – even if it came about in the worst of circumstances.

How did you find us?: My friend Jade recommended you to me!

#rp #roleplay #rpg #nina delgado #accepted

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