#and after seeing the kids actually having a good relationship with casey marie (not being scared of her) mikey also starts to develop

[turrondeluxe]

I'm curious... Granny April will always be Granny April, but how do the turtle tots see Casey Marie? Since you said they know most of their family history, does this mean they know Casey wanted to train them for war? How do they feel about this? Are some of them still a little resentful or are they already at peace with what happened and are ready to have a relationship with her?

The tots actually know April has a daughter! Even if Mikey makes a sour face whenever she does, April talks about her kid to the babies and tells them that they have a cousin. Even if the kids are aware of her existence growing up they don't really question why they've never met Casey because they know that New York is still somewhat of a war zone and that their cousin is basically the leader of the rebellion so she's definitely busy (she's somewhat of a very stranged family member since the start lol). The kids never truly talk to Casey until they are adults though. Mikey felt very strongly about them being old enough to decide if wanting to meet her after knowing she created them for war and all.

Since Michelangelo was actually able to save the babies from a child soldier life, the kids are rather forgiving of what Casey did because in the end that didn't happen and by this time Casey actually is remorseful of her way of thinking when creating them and just wants to get to know them as a family member. It takes a bit of time though (the kids, even if willing to forgive her and move on, are still very much on high alert around her (cough Uno and Moja cough). After all, they know of Mikey's life story and feel a sort of kinship of anger directed towards her (It fades away in the end though).

Definitely not resentful but still not the most buddy buddies straight from the start.

[crazy-loca-blog]

Casey Valentine: About Her Present

A/N: Did the inspiration suddenly hit me after I had no idea what to do about this because I had never thought about it before? It did. Set somewhere between the end of Book 3 and right after it just because otherwise I wouldn't have had things to say about Casey's future. Part of the @openheartfanfics "Meet My MC" event.

Meet My MC || About Her Past

If Casey had to describe her three-year residency at Edenbrook, she'd say it's been intense, life-changing and unexpected. Time went by so fast and so many things happened in so little time, that quite often she still thinks all of this is just a dream.

Sometimes she still doesn't believe that she survived a betrayal, a trial, and an assasination attempt. She could even write a book about it, but keeping some of these stories to herself and the people around her seems wiser.

She passed her boards with flying colors and now she's ready to face a new challenge: becoming the new head of the Diagnostics Team. Ethan offered her the job after he was offered the Chief of Medicine position by Naveen, and even though at first she didn't know what to answer, she knew that Ethan would have never offered her the position if he considered her incapable of excelling at it.

And you can tell she already has a lot of plans for the team, even though none of them implies filling the spot that she'll leave. The work dynamic with Harper and Tobias is amazing, and they all think they don't need another member at the moment.

She's also glad that her salary will allow her to get rid of her med school debt sooner than she expected, even though she knows what she'll do with part of her first payment: she'll get Esme a ticket to visit her parents in El Salvador. This is something she's been thinking about since she knew her story. She knows how it feels growing up without parents, so if she can make a difference on the life of her intern, she will.

The only condition for her to accept her new position as head of the team was to be able to set some time apart to work in the free clinic. This is one of the most rewardings experiences for her and it reminds her why she decided to become a doctor in the first place, so she doesn't want to lose that.

When Casey first arrived in Boston, it was all about the medicine. She wanted to learn from the best. Little did she know that the same guy she admired as a doctor would become the love of her life.

Everything began as a mentor and mentee relationship, but after a few months it became something else. And it's been that way for the last three years.

Their relationship has been... interesting, to say the least. They both had different reasons to fight their feelings for each other (Ethan's morals on one side, and Casey's previous heartbreaks on the other side), but apparently when two people are meant to be, things are just inevitable. And they seem to be inevitable.

After the longest time and many highs and lows, they made things official a few weeks ago. And they're over the moon about this. Casey doesn't remember being this happy before.

However, she wants to do things right this time. She has always felt her previous relationships failed because she made too many impulsive and bad decisions, and she really wants things to work this time... mostly because she has recently discovered admitted to herself that this is the first time that she is completely and utterly in love.

Yeah, she thought she had been in love before... but after meeting Ethan and understanding her feelings towards him, she just knew she had been so wrong in the past! She never felt like this about anyone before.

Do people talk about them? All the time. Does she care? Not at all. She felt uncomfortable about rumors at first, but Casey knows that people have been talking about them for the last three years, and she doesn't care anymore. She's just too busy trying to be happy to care about what people say about them.

However, to avoid any potential conflicts at work, they both have decided to keep their relationship as private as possible. And so far it's working.

If Casey learned something about friendship during her residency, is that you never know when someone may betray you. Luckily, she has few friends, but they're the best.

Luckily, they all happen to be brilliant in their areas of expertise, so they all are geting great job offers to stay in Boston. And none of them is planning to leave.

This is awesome for several reasons, but mainly because they don't need to find a new place to live or a new roomie, which is a relief for everyone, and because they won't need to schedule annual reunions to catch up on their lives... they can keep having their daily or weekly ones.

She is also lucky to keep working with people she admires a lot: Tobias and Harper. She still can't consider them her friends, but they're certainly on their way to become more than colleagues.

Outside Edenbrook, Casey also keeps in touch with her med school besties: Tracy and Lauren. They both are doing their residencies at Mayo Clinic, so the chances they visit each other any time soon are very low. However, Facetime helps them to keep in touch at least once a week... and Tracy is getting married very soon in New York, so Casey is counting the days to see her girls after all this time (maybe she should tell them that now she might be taking a plus one with her?).

Even though the original plan was that Oliver would be going to Boston with Casey, things changed after grandma Marie passed away and Oliver decided to stay back home.

The twins had never been apart, so this has been a whole new experience for them. Not only it has helped them to become their own person, but now their relationship is stronger than ever.

They keep in touch on a daily basis. They don't talk on the phone often, but they are constantly messaging each other during the day.

Oliver also visits her every two or three months. And Casey's heart feels so full of love when his brother has the chance to share with her extended family, just because they all get along really well. In fact, they've already set a tradition: every time that Oliver is in town, they make plans to spend a day at Martha's Vineyard.

Casey goes back to Virginia every summer; however, the end of her her residency might mean that this is the last time in a while that she'll be able to spend more than two weeks at home. But that's okay... as long as she has a few days to recharge her energy by being in touch with nature and with her roots, she'll survive.

Of course, she's dying to take her friends there. Ethan has already visited and he won't admit it yet, but he's become a fan of that place. He completely gets why Casey loves it so much.

The idea of returning home after the end of her residency was tempting, Casey actually considered it at some point, but she'd be lying to herself if she says her heart is not in Boston.

Going from Virginia to Massachussets was a 180 degree change in Casey's life. She traded the mountains, the lakes and the river for skyscrapers, Seaport and Boston Common. Of course, this also meant making some life adjustments and discovering new hobbies.

She finally managed to balance work and life (something that had been impossible at med school). And even though Donahue's is the place to go after the long shifts, brunch on weekends with the gang are definitely her favorites.

Bryce, Rafael, and Ethan introduced her to the gym life at Edenbrook. At first, she only trained with the guys, but now she goes a lot by herself too, especially when she feels too stressed or when she needs to disconnect from the world. However, when it comes to release anger, boxing with Jackie is most definitely the option at the top of her list.

Sienna has taught her the art of vision boards to achieve her goals, but she's far from mastering it. in fact, any person who sees her vision boards would think they were made by a 5 year old kid. At least she tries (and she may even have reached a goal or two).

She also volunteers with Rafael once a week at his community center, even though she still can't learn how to dance samba. Sometimes, they also recruit interns, residents and attendings to perform some routine health checks to whoever wants them. These events are a hit... handsy Henrietta can't deal with so many hot doctors at the same time!

Life has taught her a lot since she arrived in Boston. Third-year resident Casey is a completely different person than the girl who assisted a thoracotomy on her first day at Edenbrook.

Luckily she hasn't stopped being her best self; however, after the incident, she felt that life was giving her a second chance. And she's been making the most of it since then.

She has everything to be happy: a dream job, the best brother in the world, a group of friends that became her extended family, and a "new" boyfriend who has been with her through thick and thin during the last three years.

She still deals with some PTSD, but a good therapy and understanding that this is perfectly normal while trying to learn to deal with it helps a lot.

Now she's ready to make a real difference in health care, the one that she dreamed about making in her intern year.

Tags: @adiehardfan @izzyourresidentlawyer

[theatrelove3000]

Little Itty Bitty Fingers

Hello! I need a baby fix and with the world the way it is right now, this is as close as I am gonna get! Suffer with me and let me destroy your ovaries! @just-the-hiddles, @myraiswack

Background: Noelle and Loki were “Bound” by a witch in Alfheim after a battle they fought in. This means that the witch split each of their souls in half and one half switched places. Noelle has half of Loki’s soul and vice versa. They can feel each other's emotions and hear each other's thoughts. Noelle is also Half Asgardian, half Midgardian. Her father is Tyr and her mother is of Midgard. Loki enchanted her wedding ring so that she can be immortal with him.

Summary: Loki meets more of Noelle’s family when they go over to Nonna’s for dinner

Warnings: Fluff, babies, cuteness, sweetness, other synonyms I am too tired to  think of. Implied smut if you squint.

Little Itty Bitty Fingers

Noelle PoV: 

"Are you almost ready, love?" Loki asks me as he walks into the bedroom. I nod at him and I reach for the zipper of my new emerald green dress. Loki beats me to it. He zips me up before wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder, looking at our reflection in the mirror.

Even to me, I can see how good we look together. He has finally taken to more casual Midgardian attire instead of his all black suit. I love that suit but he needn't wear it everyday. Today he wears a dark pair of jeans, that hug his legs beautifully, and a deep green t-shirt with his leather jacket. My cotton dress is long sleeved and stops at the middle of my thighs.

"This is a very soft dress." He whispers, turning his head to kiss the spot behind my ear. 

I hum in agreement. "Excellent job picking it out, my King." He growls slightly, nibbling on the same spot. He takes a deep breath before straightening and taking my hand. 

"Are you ready now?" He asks again. I laugh a bit.

"What's the rush, Loki? We have time?"

He crosses his arms and scowls at me teasingly, "Perhaps I just miss your grandmother and wish to see her." 

I laugh again. "You miss her cooking is what this is."

His face takes on a slightly pinker shade as he realizes that I see right through him. "It's not my fault she makes the best food in all the nine realms! Let's go." He pulls me against his chest and teleports us to Nonna's front door. I roll my eyes at him. He smirks, opening the door for me.

Not three steps into the kitchen and Nonna has her hands on my face. "AH! My little bambina! Give Nonna a kiss!" And proceeds to plant kisses all over my face.

Loki chuckles but regrets doing so when she turns her attention to him. He's too tall for her to grab his face like she can with me so she grabs his ear, pushes him into a chair, and pinches his cheeks. She chastises him in Italian about being so tall, before kissing his face too.

"How are you doing, marito? You take care of my bambina?"

"Yes ma'am. Always." He responds, looking to me for help. I just grin and wave before running away to the living room. 

I had expected it to be empty, or at least only Nonno asleep in his chair. I was wrong.

"Alaina?!" I ask.

My cousin turns her head to face me and grins widely. "Noelle!" She squeals quietly. She stands up and turns around to hug me when I spot the reason for her hushed tone.

She has a baby swaddled in a little white blanket held to her chest. I look at her in shock, giving her a side hug as to not wake the little one. 

"Who is this?" I ask in a hushed voice.

"This is Ella! She's my daughter."

I raise an eyebrow and smile at her. "When did you have a baby?" 

She laughs, a quick exhale through her nose. "About two months ago. She was a little early but we both made it out fine." 

"I'm so glad! Gods, I haven't seen you in years, Ali. You have to catch me up." I brush my fingers along Ella's blanket. Ali smiles at me and hands her over. 

I take the baby gently, cradling her to me. It's been so long since I've held a baby this young. When I look back up at my cousin, her mouth has fallen open. She points to my wedding ring.

I smile and gesture to the couch. We both sit down and start to catch each other up. She tells me about how she met Ella's father and how he is a deployed Marine. She had the baby alone but was able to video call her fiancè so he could see his daughter. She talks about how much help Nonna has been when it comes to watching Ella while Ali is at work and feeding her dinner afterwards. 

"Enough about me, though! You! You are married now? Or engaged at the very least?" Alaina asks, gesturing to my ring. I smile and look down at it over the baby. 

"Married, yes. It's been about 9 months now, I think."

"Wow, Congratulations! Why wasn't I invited, you brat?" She smacks my arm lightly. 

"I didn't even know I was getting married until an hour before it happened. Nonna was just as upset as you are." I laugh. 

"You supposed to tell your Nonna you getting married, bambina. Is okay, I still love you." Nonna walks up behind me and kisses my cheeks again. 

"I still love you, too." Loki's baritone voice rings in my ear as he leans over to press a kiss to my temple. I jump slightly, not really knowing he was there. Nonna takes the baby from me and sings an Italian lullaby to her. 

I stand up and reach my hand out to Loki. He takes it and I pull him to stand next to me in front of Ali. 

"Alaina Marie, this is my husband, Loki Friggason. Loki, this is my cousin Alaina." 

Ali sticks her hand out to shake Loki's. He takes it and kisses her hand gently, "Lovely to make your acquaintance, Alaina."

My cousin blushes bright red and laughs a bit, "Please. Everyone calls me Ali. It's very nice to meet you, too." She drops his hand and looks at me. "Babe, you got a real gentleman. Where on Earth did you find him?"

Loki snickers but hides it with a cough. I pinch the back of his hand that still holds mine. "No idea." I respond. I sit back down on the couch and drag Loki down with me. He settles himself before pulling me so that I sit sideways on the couch with my back pressed into his side. 

I continue to talk to Ali and after a while, Loki cuts in. "You two seem to have a closer relationship than most cousins. Is there a reason for that?" 

I nod, "We were basically raised as sisters. My mom always worked so I would spend the summer with her and her brothers. How are they, by the way?" 

"Great! James just got married a few months back and Casey is starting his freshman year of college. He's in Yale! Mom is so proud of him. We all are." 

Later on, after Ella wakes up, Nonna and I go into the kitchen to start making dinner, leaving Loki and Ali in the living room to talk with Nonno. Not too long after that, Ali comes in and starts helping us make the pasta, the baby nowhere in sight. 

"Where is Ella? Where did you leave my nuova bambina?" Nonna pokes Ali as she kneads the dough. 

"She started crying and Loki offered to help, so I handed her off to him. She quieted really quickly, actually." She cocks her head thoughtfully, "You know, come to think of it, I don't think she has ever stopped crying for anyone as fast as she did for him." 

I smirk a bit. "He has a super power when it comes to crying children. We live in a place where everyone is basically family. My friend Tony has a daughter named Morgan and she just adores her Uncle Loki. Her older brother does too, but he is a teenager." 

"That's nice. He will be a good father."

"Bambina, you put the panettone in the oven then go talk to your Nonno." 

"Yes, ma'am." I respond and do as I'm told. As I walk into the living room, looking for Loki. I smile when I find him.

He's sitting in Nonna's armchair with the baby held to his chest. He coos at her, rocking back and forth. 

I feel my eyes fill with tears at the sight. He has always been good with Morgan and kids we meet on the job but I've never seen him with a baby this young. It's a little jarring.

I start imagining what he would look like with his own baby in his arms. With my baby.

I know he can hear what I'm thinking because he looks up and smiles softly at me before turning his attention back to Ella. He starts singing to her in old norse. The one his mother sang to him. 

The man is feeding my fantasies.

My cousin walks up to me and hugs my shoulders before going to retrieve her daughter from my husband.

"Could... could I hold her for a bit longer? It's been a very very long time since I've held a child this young." Ali smiles and nods, telling him she will have to take her to feed her in a few minutes. He agrees and turns his attention back to Ella as her mother walks away. 

In a spur of the moment decision, I fish my phone out of the pocket of my dress (Loki always finds the dresses with pockets) and snap a picture of the sight before me.

I walk over and sit on the floor at Loki's feet, leaning my head on his knee. "You do know that you have to share her with the rest of us." I nudge his leg. He glares at me teasingly before his face softens to something I only see occasionally. It's not an emotion I know how to describe but I see it when we find children on a mission. The children we help care for. 

"I know. I've always liked holding babies. I haven't done so in the last hundred years but it feels just as I remember it. Although, I've come to realize that Midgardian infants are quite a bit smaller than Asgardian infants."

"Yes, well, the average height of the Æsir is about 6 feet and an average Midgardian is somewhere around five foot six. You are all just super tall."

"So, what you are telling me is you are tiny even in the place you grew up? How fun! All the jokes I can now make without belittling the rest of mankind!" He chuckles.

I raise up onto my knees and flick him. He can't stop me because of the baby cradled to his chest. “Five foot three is still tall enough to put you on your ass. And do not deny it because we have proven it.” He glares at me and I kiss the top of his head as I stand up. "She has you wrapped around her little Itty bitty fingers, doesn't she?" I whisper.

"I will never say." 

I smile and move the blanket Ella is wrapped in out of her face a bit. "Something tells me she has that effect on everyone." 

"She does." Ali mutters. "I really do have to take her. You can have her back after dinner if you'd like. God knows I need a break after the long nights." She laughs, taking her baby from Loki. 

"Understandable. Babies like to wake Momma." I kiss my cousin's cheek. Taking his hand, I drag Loki to his feet and lead him to the kitchen to help Nonna finish dinner while Ella gets hers. Nonno follows us to give the pair some privacy. He sits at the table and bickers with Nonna as Loki and I plate the food.

During dinner, the four of us play pass the baby while Ali eats her dinner. She eventually lands back with Loki, who is more than happy to talk to and entertain her while he finishes his own food. 

After we finish eating, I help Nonna clean up the dishes while Nonno looks for cookies and Loki and Ali talk about Ella, if she wants more kids, when her father is coming home, if he wants more kids, and the list goes on. 

"She's asleep again? Dude, teach me your magical ways! She always fusses when I try to put her to sleep." 

"I've always been good at putting babies to sleep. Well, infants and Noelle, but she's a different story all together." I gasp dramatically and turn around to smack his shoulder as he laughs. 

Ali smiles at us. "You are good together. I'm happy for you." 

I grin at her, "Thank you, Alaina Marie."

"You are very welcome, Noelle Elizabeth." 

We leave not long after we finish the dishes. With a large paper bag full of food in tow, I kiss my grandparents and cousin goodbye as Loki, reluctantly, hands back little Ella, who he has taken to calling 'Smár Kærr'. Little Dear.

As we walk back to the tower, I lace my fingers through his. "You loved her."

He smiles and raises our hands to his lips, pressing a kiss to my fingers. "I do indeed. I miss children that age. But it's impossible with our line of work. Pepper stays home with Morgan and she stays with us when needed but she is nearly four years old. Babies need constant attention that we don't have time to give." He keeps his eyes glued to the sidewalk. 

"We have a long, long time. We won't always be Avengers. We can wait until we feel we can leave the saving of the world to the others."

"I know. And in the meantime, I can borrow Ella. I already discussed this with Alaina."

I laugh, "Of course you did." 

He smiles and pushes me towards the wall of the nearest building to kiss me. I wrap my arms around his neck as he moves his lips to my neck, muttering proclamations of love against my skin. 

"I love you, too." I whisper back.

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Sorry the ending is a little sucky, I had no idea how I wanted to end it. Other than that, my ovaries are just a pile of debris even though I wrote it. It’s fine, I’m fine, everything’s fine!

[penzyroamin]

Hi I know it’s been a bit but I’m the confused bi anon. I really really appreciated your response and it wasn’t too long. You made me feel a lot better. I was wondering if you could maybe suggest some books, tv, movies with bi female characters. Thanks soo much for the entire last response . You are absolutely incredible and so sweet. This means more to me than you could ever know❤️

of course!! i’m glad that my first response helped <3

disclaimer of course: i’m not bi! so i’m not an Authoritative Source on bi rep and what people want to see more of. i do actively seek out stuff about lgbtq+ characters, specifically girls and women, so i have some recs! however, i’ll also be adding some things that some bi folks i know have recommended because while lesbians and bi women have a lot in common, these are at the end of the day representing them, not me :)

extra-super favorites will be bolded! i’m putting this under a read more because... i read a lot of books. and recommended a lot of them.

books:

her royal highness by rachel hawkins-- this book is a pretty easy read-- don’t expect any massive revelations about life from it, and you’ll have a good time!!! essentially, a bi texan girl named millie, after having her heart broken by her friend-turned-sort-of-gf, goes to boarding school in scotland and ends up rooming with the princess, flora. if this sounds outrageous and sappy, that’s because it is! and i love it! sexuality isn’t a BIG part of this book, but it’s discussed, and it’s just a generally fun enemies-to-lovers story about a bi aspiring geologist and a no-fucks-to-give lesbian princess and them falling in love!

fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe by fannie flagg-- hello this is actually my favorite book! unlike hrh it is... a LOT to read. it essentially follows 2 stories-- one about a housewife named evelyn and her friendship with an old woman named ninny threadgoode who she meets at the old folks home her mother-in-law stays at, and the other about the stories ninny tells her about her sister-in-law idgie and her partner, ruth. the book was published in 1987, and ruth and idgie’s story is set during the great depression, so they aren’t actively labeled as lesbian or bi, but it’s made obvious enough through coding and the fact that ruth has relationships with men prior to idgie while idgie spends her entire childhood pining after ruth. both storylines are fantastic-- they have a lot to say about the lives of southern women in the 30s and 80s, and about race relations at both periods. i’ll warn you that there are depictions of extreme racism and of abuse, but it handles both delicately. it’s a critical piece of southern literature, and a landmark for lgbtq+ storytelling. as a bonus, my copy has a bunch of great recipes in the back, so if you read it you might chance upon an edition with those in it. if you like poignant period pieces about wlw relationships, women losing their damn minds, and abusive men getting what they deserve, this is the book for you! you will sob. this is a fair warning.

you should see me in a crown by leah johnson-- i haven’t personally read this one, but i’ve heard great things about it from everyone i know who has! an anxious black bi girl in indiana has to win prom queen at her mostly-white school in order to get enough scholarship money to go to the college of her dreams, but ends up falling for mack, another girl running for queen. 

@landlessbud wanted me to shout out red, white, and royal blue by casey mcquinston-- you’ve almost definitely heard about it before (first son and prince of wales, enemies-to-lovers with a side dish of political drama), and it is primarily about a mlm romance, but nora is a fabulously fun bi girl side character and there’s a lot of great stuff about figuring out your sexuality in it.

leah on the offbeat by becky albertalli-- i’ve read a lot of complex thoughts on this book, and mine are... i like it! it’s flawed, sure, and i wish it had handled a few things a little better, but you know what? it’s cute as fuck! leah is a fat bi drummer, and she’s super cool! abby is a great love interest, and she goes through a whole bi realization throughout the book. all in all, it’s just a fun wlw high school romcom with a couple solid dramatic beats and a lot of goofball shenanigans. also, if you were an american girl kid??? one scene in this book will make the entire experience worth it for you.

harley quinn: breaking glass by mariko tamaki and steve pugh-- hey, we’re in graphic novel territory now! this book is RAD. a really neat look at gentrification, community solidarity, giving people what they deserve, and fantastic lgbtq+ found families. teenage harleen quinzel is taken in by a group of drag queens, and is caught between two sort-of love interests-- mysterious vigilante the joker and classmate and community activist ivy-- and the different forms of protest and resistance they represent. the art here is STUNNING, and it’s a great read!

laura dean keeps breaking up with me, by the great mariko tamaki with art by rosemary valero-o’connell-- the vast majority of the characters are lgbt, with a lesbian main character, and the supporting cast including a bi nonbinary character, a bi girl character, and two mlm characters! this is mostly a piece about modern lgbtq+ teenagers and the way toxic relationships take over our lives. it’s one of the most cathartic things i’ve read in a LONG time, and especially if you’re at a point where your sexuality feels kind of vague, this is a great read because it embraces that vagueness by not needing to clearly label the characters and celebrates whatever point of clarity the characters are at. probably some of the most gorgeous art i’ve ever seen in a book, with a beautiful black-white-and-pink color scheme and a really neat approach to visual storytelling.

movies:

i don’t watch many movies, because i get bored really quickly hskdhskhds. but the movies i DO watch are usually gay!

wowie zowie its fried green tomatoes again!-- fannie flagg came back to adapt this into a film and HOT DAMN is it just as good. the plot is primarily the same, with some stuff obviously cut or trimmed to make it a two hour movie instead of a 450 page books fhsjdhsjhds. mary-louise parker plays ruth!!! it got a GLAAD award and an oscar nomination, and god it’s good. there are a couple scenes in here that i think are going to be in my mind until the day i die. the level of pure butch energy that idgie radiates in this film is a one-hit k.o. and it KILLS me.

birds of prey-- listen. this is not a profound movie. harley’s bisexuality isn’t emphasized, and romance is basically nonexistent in this movie. there is some... quite graphic violence. that said, this movie is so fucking fun. it’s mostly just a bunch of women fucking up everyone who crosses them while margot robbie gives a gleeful performance that you can just TELL she enjoyed the fuck out of. the last 20-30 minutes of this movie are the absolute best part, with a long sequence that kind of reinvented what an action/superhero movie could be for me. again, bisexuality isn’t a massive part of this-- it’s mentioned, and then harley just continues on in her gloriously campy outfits and breaks peoples’ knees. again, i CANNOT overemphasize just how fucking good the last 20-30 minutes are. this movie knows what it is and it embraces it. also, women beating people up in costumes that don’t horrifyingly objectify them is always a plus!

imagine me & you-- i’d be remiss if i didn’t mention this one, considering it’s probably one of the most iconic wlw romcoms. a woman named rachel, while at her own wedding, meets a florist named luce, and they fall in love. it’s a very sweet look at questioning your sexuality when you were already secure in it, and rachel’s husband wins “most genuinely understanding guy in a wlw movie” award. it has a lovely happy ending, and articles have been written about the importance of rachel being a bi character who a) gets a happy ending and b) isn’t shamed for figuring out her sexuality later on or slutshamed. this is just... a sweet movie. it’s the romcom a lot of us need in our lives. also, a LOT of floral imagery.

tv shows:

ok, i’ve got a confession. i reaaaaaaally don’t watch much tv. seriously, the only shows i’ve watched a substantial amount of recently have been parks and rec, schitt’s creek, the good place, and gilmore girls. i have a really REALLY short attention span.

that said, eleanor from the good place is bisexual!! the good place is a really wild ride, it’s half afterlife comedy half philosophical musing, and it will almost certainly make you gasp, laugh, think, and also probably cry. also, eleanor is just buckets of fun and she, like many of us, is often blown away by tahani (jameela jamil) and her beauty.

ummm shows i haven’t watched entirely or at all but that have bi women in them and seem pretty good: black lightning, sex education, jane the virgin, arrow. 

if you haven’t already watched it, do not believe what people are going to tell you about watching glee. it will drag you into a pit of despair and white men rapping, and it’s quite biphobic to top it all off.

i hope you enjoy at least some of these!! i tried to include some of my own favs and some that were pointed out to me, so i hope that at least a couple connect with you and make you feel better. again, the bolded ones are my 100% favorites. i love you and i’m glad you reached out again!!! feel free to send some more asks later on <3

[mikeshanlon]

Happy Pride! .... Like... more than halfway through the month lmao sorry, better late than never ig! I’ve compiled a list of some of my fave LGBT+ books, as well as a few I’m planning to read for pride/in the near future. Please feel free to reblog and add some of your own recs, especially for the sexual and gender identities that are lacking in my list!!!!!

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz: This beautiful, wholesome coming of age novel is pretty popular on tumblr and with good reason! It’s set in the 1980′s and follows Aristotle, aka "Ari”, as he grows up an tackles with his identity-- he feels like his story is written by someone else, that his path is not up to his control. Whether this is due to his complex relationship with his family, or societal expectations/stereotypes of Latinx men, or the fact that maybe his friendship with Dante might be more than that, and that kinda terrifies him. (Rep: Gay, Latinx, (I believe this is own voices) Warnings: it’s been a minute since i’ve read this but i believe some racism, internalized homophobia, and an instance of violent transphobia)

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: LGKNLKNGRG okay this is truly one of my favorite books of the year so far and part of the whole reason i wanted to make this. This is a New Adult Contemporary romance set in sort of a like... parallel America where a woman won the presidential election. We follow The First Son, Alex Claremont-Diaz, who’s charming, smart ass, genius icon. Him, his sister June, and their best friend Nora are easily marketable and loved by the public for the most part, but when Alex and his rival Prince Henry of England get into a public spat at a Royal Wedding, Alex and Henry must pretend to be friends to patch up relations and public image for his mother’s re-election campaign. Eventually their fake friendship turns real, and then becomes more as they get to know each other, Alex and Henry begin a secret romance that we follow over the course of the re-election year. This book is fucking HILARIOUS (like I have so many tabs for funny moments and i was trying to be restrained), but it’s just so. Like full of love and hope and it’s so beautiful???? It’s definitely political escapism from our current situation in America but still deals with current issues such as racism and homopboia, etc, but gives the reader hope for future progress. Alex and Henry’s relationship is so fun, and sexy, and beautiful and the friendships are so iconic and Alex’s journey with sexuality is... chefs kiss. Also like. Casey McQuiston mentioned that she listened to Texas Reznikoff by Mitski a lot while writing this in the acknowledgments so. what more do you need... (Rep: Bisexual (Own Voices), Gay, Biracial-- Mexican/White (Own Voices), Warnings: Racism, homophobia, mentions of a past sexual harrassment/assault. Since this is a New Adult, there are smut scenes. I wouldn’t say it’s like. Super explicit or anything but there is sex, though it’s often during Important Moments of their relationships so it doesn’t feel like p*rn-- again the sex is happening but its not in hella explicit detail or anything or for the same goal as say an erotica. P much proceed with caution if it’s not ur thing but it’s not too wild!)

Blanca y Roja by Anna-Marie McLemore: This is sort of a Snow White/Rose Red and Ugly Duckling retelling following two sisters, Blanca and Roja, who’s family curse destines that one of the sisters will be trapped into a swan’s body, never to be seen again. (So this is magical realism lmao). We also follow two boys, Page and Yearling, who were wrapped up in the magic of the nearby woods, but have returned to society. Page is a gender queer trans male, and his whole arc that was so beautiful and made me cry, but in a good way (also warning that I’m cis so like. I would love to hear what gender queer trans individuals think about the rep in this book bc I cannot really attest to it.) This book is really about sisterly love and love in general, with all the complexities that come with it. (also wlw grandma’s who grow apple’s it’s p iconic) (Rep: Latinx-- colorism plays a huge role in the story as well (Own Voices), Gender Queer Trans, Queer (Own Voices) Warnings: Some transphobia, racism, and abuse). (I believe most of Anna-Marie McLemore’s books are magical realism and have some Latinx and queer elements to them as well)

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller: god..... This (gay ass) novelization of The Illiad is just so tragically romantic and beautiful... We follow Achilles and Patroclus as they grow up and grow closer, and eventually fight the Trojan War. There are so many beautiful quotes and scenes but like. You will most likely cry so keep that in mind eklrgerg. (Rep: Gay Warnings: Violence, there’s like..... a weird r*pe/homophobic scene)

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan: YA Fantasy set in a world where there are three castes: Moon-- the highest caste, demons with animalistic features in a humanoid form, Steel-- humans with part demon physical features and abilities, and Paper-- fully human, the lowest caste. We follow our protaganist Lei, who despite being a Paper caste, has beautiful golden glowing eyes that end up garnering attention from the Demon King. She’s stolen from her home and forced to join The Paper Girls-- a group of paper caste concubines in training at the palace. As she tries to find a way to escape, she ends up falling for one of the other paper girls, Wren, who might be just the key to freedom. I love Lei and Wren’s relationship and I’m excited to see it play out in the sequel! (which i believe ngan said will introduce more LGBT characters) (Rep: Asian (Own Voices), WLW (I believe this is Own Voices as well). Warnings: As their role as concubines suggest, a large part of this book revolves around the patriarchy using women for power and sexual assualt/rape. There are no explicit rape scenes-- though they do occur ‘off screen’, however there are a couple attempted sexual assault scenes that I believe could be p triggering. This book is also largely about the Paper Girls taking back their power, and I don’t believe these scenes are done for shock value, however please proceed with caution. Subsequently, sexist and patriarchial views are present within the authority, though shunned by Lei, however there’s a lot of internalized sexism and objectification among some of the other Paper Girls.)

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell: I probably don’t have to talk about this one much since it’s super popular, but in what is like essentially Harry Potter but like gay and wholesome, we follow Simon Snow, the Chosen One who’s actually not that good at magic, his best friend Penelope, and his roommate and arch nemesis that’s totally a vampire but won’t admit it, Baz. (Except Baz is, like, totally in love with Simon and Simon’s just too dumb and wrapped up in his own shit to realize it). Truly just,... an iconic enemies to friends to lovers story that unfolds as the three of them try to uncover a mystery surrounding Baz’s late mother. Ik some people have found it confusing bc it’s sort of like starting the Harry Potter story off at book 7 and only getting some background info along the way but honestly I really enjoyed that lmao. Also there’s a sequel coming out this fall, Wayward Son. (Rep: Gay, Some POC rep. Warnings: not rlly any i dont think??? There’s  like. some Homophobia lmao bc we can’t have a gay book without it.)

Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins: This is a cute YA contemporary following Millie Quint who, post being cheated on by her best friend and wanting to have a fresh start, flies to Scotland to finish off her senior year at her Dream prestigous boarding school, joining a handful of other girls as the first female class in the institution’s history. Plus like. Cool Rocks and Scotland. Only problem is that her roomate is sort of a bitch and also the Princess of Scotland who she totally just told off. So yeah yet another royal gay enemies to friends to lovers with a dash of and they were roomates LMAO. This book could be like.... a bit cheesy and rushed but overall it was cute and like...... The Cover.... (Rep: Bisexual, Lesbian, Warnings: Some homophobia. Also this is a companion novel to Prince Charming but you don’t have to read that first, there’s just some references to the couple in that book as the Prince is well.... The Princess’ brother and where they end up so if you don’t wanna be spoiled read that first ig!)

The Devouring Gray by Christine Lynn Herman: I talked about this some in this post, but I feel like I did kinda a shitty job so. A YA fantasy/paranormal series about the descendant’s of the town’s four founding families-- Violet Saunders, Justin Hawthorne, Harper Carlisle, and Isaac Sullivan (the most iconic one). The latter three have lived in Four Paths their whole lives, protecting the town from The Gray-- p much the Upside Down from Stranger Things lmao, using powers specific to each of their families. Violet and her mother move back after Violet’s sister died in a car accident, and she’s thrust into helping save the town as the Gray grows more restless and having to uncover the secrets of her family as well as all the history brewing between the other three. The Stranger Things and Riverdale comparisons are p valid, (but like. Riverdale in the sense of small town secrets and a bunch of tense history that the kids don’t really understand and must uncover, and some like love triangle but..... not Rlly Love triangles just a mess of ppl being like oh shit i like this person and this person.... Bisexual Chaos if u will... not like. The I’m cuckoo bananas for u let’s go get high and play dungeons and dragons and smash in a bunker LRGKJRLKGJ), the Raven Cycle comparison’s are kind of a stretch, I can see the abstract comparison’s if i squint but like. Don’t go into this expecting TRC lmao. I really enjoyed the theme of grief throughout this book and seeing the powers unfold (and one of the dynamics a lot) and while not perfect the series has a lot of potential and like. Bisexuals. So. (Rep: Bisexual (two mc’s are bi and say the word!!!!!!!! As well as some secondary characters), Disabled (one of the mc’s is missing one arm from the elbow down). Warnings: Grief, Violence)

The Gentlemen’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee: Also talked about this in this post and did a better job there, but to sum it up it’s essentially a friends to lovers, bed sharing, road trip au with a dash of magic but set in the 1700′s! There’s also a sequel/companion, The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy that I have yet to read but it follows Monty’s sister, Felicity, and I believe goes more in depth with her identity. (Rep: Gay, Black, Disabled, Aromantic, Asexual, Warnings: Period typical homophobia/biphobia, racism, ableism, sexism)

Simon vs. The Homosapien’s Agenda by Becky Albertalli: Like. I don’t think i really have to explain this one LRKGJJRG but added it just in case. YA contemporary following Simon as he e-mails another gay student at his school and falls in love. (Rep: Gay, Black, Jewish, Warnings: Homophobia)

All For the Game Trilogy (The Foxhole Court, The Raven King, The King’s Men) by Nora Sakavic: If y’all have been on my blog at all you know i’m back in aftg hyperfixation mode after another reread lmao. Is it a lil messy is it a lil dramatic... yes. but i love it!!! We follow our protagonist Neil Josten, who’s been on the run from his crime lord father, The Butcher of Baltimore, since he was young. After his mother dies on the run, Neil finds a new place and adopts yet another identity, and ends up playing high school exy (a made up sport but like we’re barely here for the sports lmao), something he used to play as a child. Despite playing a new position, he attracts the attention of the PSU Foxes, who’s coach David Wymack specifically recruits players with a troubled past to give them a second chance. Neil really shouldn’t sign-- it goes against everything his mother told him, it puts him at risk of being in the spotlight for his father’s men to find him, and puts him on the same team as Kevin Day, someone from his past that knows his true identity. Still, something draws Neil to joining the team, to finally try to live instead of just survive. UGHHHH like truly this book just makes u fall in love with all the characters and the beautiful and broken found family that develops over three books and one of the most iconic and amazing (ha....) slowburn relationships ever.... Also if i recall they’re super cheap on iBooks (at least when i bought them, the first book was free and the other two were $1.99). (Rep: Gay, Demisexual, POC, Warnings: MAJOR trigger warnings for like. everything bc all the foxes have fucked up pasts. But the biggest ones are probably rape, abuse/torture, and substance abuse)

Six of Crows Duology (Six of Crows, Crooked Kingdom) by Leigh Bardugo: Idk how much I really have to talk about this bc it’s popular but I am physically unably not to reccomend this duology bc its just. So. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. The most barebones summary is that this is a YA Fantasy about six people coming together to perform an impossible heist. This is truly like...... a masterclass in developing characters and has one of the best m/f ships i’ve ever read... But also since it’s on here there is some gay shit going on, 3/6 mains are Not Straight and there’s a cute m/m couple! Also you don’t have to read the Grisha Trilogy to read this but u can if u want (I have yet to). (Rep: Bisexual, Gay, Disabled, POC, Warnings: Again these ppl have fucked up pasts, biggest are PTSD, past sexual abuse)

The Raven Cycle Series (The Raven Boys, The Dream Theives, Blue Lily Lily Blue, The Raven King) by Maggie Steifvater: Again i don’t think I really have to explain this one but like. In case you haven’t read this series it’s truly iconic..... Idk even how to explain this LKGJLJRG just like magical realism wonderfulness and found family and amazing relationships and shit.... (Rep: Gay, Bisexual, Disabled, Warnings: Abuse)

The following are books I plan to read for pride/in the near future. I can’t wholeheartedly reccomend them obviously, or fully detail all the rep/warnings, but I’ve heard some great things about these books and a lot of them have representation that the first part of the list is lacking, so I figured I would add them! (Also if I use ‘queer’ that’s because that’s the only label I have been given by the authors or reviewers, or the characters identify as queer)

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman: To my knowledge this is a really emotional YA coming of age/college story that has to do with like. A podcast? Idk a lot of people love it and side note I’ll be suing B&N bc they NEVER have it relkj (Rep: Bisexual, Demisexual, I belive Latinx.)

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand: I believe this is a YA horror-ish novel where there’s a monster stealing girls on and island. (Rep: I believe all three main girls are queer Warnings: Since this is horror im assuming. Horror stuff LMAO)

I Wish You all The Best by Mason Deaver: A YA contemporary romance about Ben who comes out as non-binary to their parents and gets kicked out, and moves in with their estranged sister. They soon are taken under the wing of a senior named Nathan Allan and begin to fall. (Rep: Non-Binary (Own Voices), MLM/Queer, Black (im assuming from the gorgeous cover lmao. Warnings: Misgendering, homophobia, anxiety, depression)

Summer of Salt by Katrina Leno: YA Magical Realism about Georgina, who has yet to inherit the magical powers that have been passed down her family, including her twin sister Mary who, unlike Georgina, is coming into her powers. (Rep: Lesbian, Queer, Aro/Ace, Warnings: Rape and sexual assault, underage drinking, animal death, drug use.)

[dontshootmespence]

Watch Me

A/N: This takes care of my “decision changes everything” square for @cmbingo. JJ’s confession changes everything, but the outcome will be different per my interpretation of the finale.

Chapter 1 Here

Chapter 2

It’s so easy.

Why do they make it so easy?

All it takes is the ‘fuck me eyes’ and the promise of little sex and they’re in the palm of your hands.

Benjamin Graffa. What an idiot.

His eyes slipped over her like smooth silk, just a little too tight – like a vise. But it was Cat who had the vise on him…because he’s an idiot.

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” she cooed. “I can see it in your eyes.”

His eyes widened, astonished at her perceptiveness. “It’s a wonder you ever got caught honestly.”

Cat flashed him a tight-lipped smile – somewhere between ‘that was just a mistake’ and ‘if you bring anything like that up again I’ll kill you where you stand.’ “So what is it?”

“I’m seeing someone outside the prison,” he said, tone clipped as he gauged whether or not he was about to meet his end at the hands of a woman more than half a foot shorter than him. Quickly, he added to the statement in the hopes of saving his ass. “Don’t get me wrong, you are…fantastic,” he said luridly, imagining their last tryst out of sight of the cameras, “But a man’s got needs and-“

“I don’t care,” she laughed. “You wanna get a little ass on the side that’s your business. I just need you to work with me. Feed me the information I ask for when I ask for it and you can drown yourself in whatever gutter skank you want to.”

He didn’t appreciate her calling Mary a gutter skank, but fear kept him quiet. “She works for the Bureau actually.”

“Tell me it’s no one on the BAU.”

“No, she works with Violent Criminal Apprehension Program.”

“Wonderful, she might end up being useful.”

Shaking his head without any forethought, he spoke, “No, leave Mary out of this. She’s been through enough. Don’t touch her.”

“I won’t. I’ll just kill you. If she can get the information, you live, if she can’t you die. Clear? I know that self-preservation instinct will work to everyone’s advantage.”

Benjamin huffed, relenting out of that instinct of self-preservation. “Fine. What information do you need?”

“I need her to keep track of the goings on in the BAU, specifically with Spencer Reid and Jennifer Jareau. Work schedules, general mental health, family lives, the whole nine. No piece of information is too small. And this shouldn’t need to be said, but keep my name out of it.”

“That’s it?” He asked. He thought Cat would want some kind of file or something that would require hacking she didn’t know how to do. This seemed simple enough.

Nodding, Cat smiled as she began to pace the floors of her cell again. “That’s all Benjamin. You can go now. I have some thinking to do.”

-

In the week since seeing Cat, everything felt different. Maybe it was all in her head, maybe something actually was different in the day-to-day life she shared with her boys, but all she could put her finger on was that she remained on edge. Every kiss shared with Will felt false and strained. Every kiss to her boys’ heads felt like it could be the last. Every step she took within her own home brought dread – like stepping on a mine, knowing it, and not being able to move for fear of implosion. Like being back in Afghanistan, but even worse because there her family was safe from impending doom.

After slipping on a suit that gave the illusion of power without any of the reality, she headed downstairs to kiss her boys goodbye before heading into work. She’d gone in earlier than normal every day to try and look into Cat, but so far nothing had come from it.

Henry and Michael sat at the table eating cereal before school with no knowledge that possible death sat right outside their door. She lingered with their morning kisses, ruffling Henry’s hair a little more than she would normally before turning to Will. “I’ve gotta run. I love you,” she said, leaning in for a kiss.

Will returned it in kind, gently grabbing her wrist when she turned around to leave. “JJ, you okay? You seem sad lately.” He knew something was wrong, but she wouldn’t, no couldn’t, put him even further into the line of fire.

“I’m good,” she replied, knowing for certain that her husband could see through the lie. “Just a lot going on at work.”

He remained unconvinced, but she would talk when she was ready. “Okay. I love you, JJ.”

“I love you, too.” More than she could ever truly put into words.

-

If only she could see her own micro-expressions to learn to better control them. Sitting across from Spencer as the team indulged in some rare downtime together, she found herself fully conscious of what emotions she was wearing on her sleeve. Each time she looked at Spencer, she felt her stomach turn, knowing what she would need to do if she couldn’t break down Cat’s plan in time. He’d been through so much and knowing that she would have to be the source of further pain made her heart sink – but there wasn’t enough to time to dwell on things with the case that just came in.

Car accidents in broad daylight were followed by the driver dying at the wrong end of a gun and seemingly no connections between the victims. Though they had a basic profile, pinning down a motive was nearly impossible.

The day that followed gave them more questions than answers, leaving them scratching their heads as it seemed the unsub, Casey, was having his strings pulled by someone else. Murder by proxy. But why? What was this other unsub’s motive in all this?

No matter how much they searched for a reason, they couldn’t find one – until Garcia dug deep enough to realize that all the victims had been connected by a case that took place eight years prior. In a game of truth or dare gone wrong, four people died and the unsub had been at fault, now going after anyone and everyone that had anything to do with putting him away.

The judge was the next logical target. JJ and Reid were paired off and sent in the opposing direction of Luke and Rossi when they passed her car and the madman behind all this. After getting out of prison, he was getting his life together, so what made him spiral into a killing spree?

Even sitting at the wrong end of his gun, neither she nor Reid could figure that one question out, until JJ decided to play his sick game and asked her name. “Agent?”

“Jareau.”

“Jareau,” he parroted with an heir of familiarity.

He knew her. This was Cat’s ace in the whole.

“What’s it gonna take for everyone to getting out of here safe and sound?”

“It doesn’t work like that!” He screamed. 

JJ shook with fear and anger and an insistent feeling of stupidity that she’d walked directly into Cat’s mousetrap. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t give him the answer he wanted – the answer Cat wanted. Every time Casey demanded her truths, she tried. Tried to get him to believe that there were only four people she trusted in this world – Spencer, Emily, Will and Aaron. As much as the thought made her insides vibrate, she used the baby she’d lost in Afghanistan to try and send him on a different path than the one he was barreling down.

But he wouldn’t take it. Even her best poker face couldn’t fool him in this moment.

Finally, she willed the words to enter her mind, stumbling over them as they spilled from her mouth and the tears streamed down her cheeks. “Spence…I-,” she started, biting back bile, “I’ve always l-loved you.”

Despite Spencer’s genius, JJ had always been able to read him well, but in this moment she couldn’t place whether he did or didn’t believe her; she prayed he didn’t. Confusion and sadness plagued his features, but where they stemmed from she didn’t know and no matter how this affected their relationship, she would never be the same for having hurt him.

For a second, Casey seemed to be appeased by her confession, but when she stared down the barrel of his gun once again, she wondered whether this was the last thing she’d have done with her life – killed her boys and forever altered her relationship with her best friend.

A gunshot rang out and it took her a moment to realize that Spencer managed to cut the tape around his wrists to grab his own gun.

Normally, a gunshot to the heart meant the end of it all, but this time it was only the tip of the iceberg.

-

Time. Time. Time. All she had was time. Although it was infuriating on a level that she couldn’t even imagine, she needed the time to pound into Casey’s head that he was wronged by the system and needed to exact some revenge. Getting him in here was the easy part. Though short, their time together was full of angry sex and a devotion on his part that had her running in the opposite direction.

She spent nearly a year convincing him, but she finally managed it. Their previous visit was cut short by one of the guards she hadn’t succeeded in pulling into her pocket, so today was about the plan.

“I don’t care what you need to do, who you need to pull into this to make this happen, but it needs to happen exactly as I’ve said. Are we clear? Jareau and Spencer are the ones that need to be at the scene. Clear?” She asked emphatically.

Nodding, Casey asked the one question he’d been keeping back since she contacted him out of the blue. At first it mattered her reasons, but now he wanted to know. “Why are you doing this? Why these two?”

Her sparkling eyes scared him, but there was something else there besides malicious intent.

“When Spencer had his hands around my throat, I wanted him to kill me. At least then he’d have to live with killing a pregnant woman, but he didn’t. He didn’t because JJ stopped him! And then they took my little girl!”

Anger vibrated within every muscle. The fact that she’d been pregnant was astonishing. Cat had the femme fatale vibe down pat, but a mother she was not. “You never wanted kids. I wanted all that with you after I got out of prison and you said no way.”

“I carried that little girl with me for nine months. Maybe before I hadn’t but after that…she was mine, and they took her from me. She’s more than a year old and I don’t even know what she looks like!” She screamed, the rage in her voice drawing the attention of Benjamin, who was thankfully the guard on duty at the moment. “Are we clear with the plan?” She needed to regain her composure.

“Yes. I’ll get it done and stick it to all the fuckers that put me away at the same time.”

“Good.”

Without another word, he left Cat to stew. Far gone didn’t even begin to cover it – and he didn’t dare cross her now.

Meanwhile, Cat screamed herself hoarse, an image of what she remembered of her daughter’s face fading into oblivion and replaced with the picture of the two agents that ruined her life falling apart at her hands.

@queenanneslace4 @stunudo @illegalcerebral

[listenxtoyourxheartxseries]

Listen To Your Heart part 10

@prettyinpayne @ohnoitsthebat @queenofsprongstyle

Chapter 10: Home Sweet Chicago

Word count 2,841

“So how was the trip to Brooklyn?” Casey asked Kelly as they walked into the locker room, Libby had separated from them and went into the office to get settled in her new role. “It was intense, her family wanted to know all about our relationship and if she was living with me and Shay. And why. Her oldest nephew wanted to know if we were going to get married.” “And are you thinking about it?” Kelly looked around to make sure Shay and Dawson weren’t around anywhere. “I thought about it. But now it scares me, she was so fragile Case.” “She has a right to be. But she is getting stronger again. Just keep being there for her.” Kelly nodded his head as Shay came into the locker room shutting down the conversation for the time being.

**

“Morning Chief.” Libby commented as she glanced up from the notes that were left on the desk by headquarters. “Morning Libby. Good trip home?” he asked pausing by her desk. “Yes sir.” she answered, “it was nice being home. But I am glad we are back.” Boden nodded his head and stepped into his office.  The youngest member of the firehouse licked her lips and looked back at the paper work.  Her eyes drifted from the paperwork to the pink cast that was still on her left wrist. She had spent a lot of time when Kelly and her family weren't distracting her staring at it. Wondering if she could have done anything at all different if it would have changed things at all.

“Hey Libs, is chief in?”  Casey asked shaking her out of her thoughts. “Yeah go on in.” She answered. He nodded his head before he paused. “You okay?”  “I am okay, just a little sad.” She said, “I am still working through a lot of this stuff.”  “You know we all will listen to you if you need us too.” He said, “You aren’t alone with this.” “I know thanks Matt.”

**

3 days later

***

Kelly and Libby were in the mists of having their first major fight as a couple and it sent Shay down the street to Starbucks to wait for Kelly to take her to work. Libby wasn’t going to work that day, she was going to meet with her sister and brother in law about the grand jury that was coming up in the next week. She leaned against the counter and folded her arms under her chest and looked away from him.

“You know sometimes you drive me crazy!” Kelly said moving to where he was standing in front of her his hands bracing on either side of her. She swallowed roughly and raised her eyes slowly to meet his.  “But that is one reason why I fell in love with you to start with.” “You love me?” She asked shakily. ‘Of course I do silly girl.’ He said raising his hand and running it down her cheek.  A bright smile broke out on her face, “I love you too.” He pressed a kiss to her mouth as his fingers tangled in her blonde hair.  “You should go. Before Shay comes back here and yells. I will stop by after I am done with Erin and Jack.” She said softly. He groaned before pressing another kiss to her mouth. “Fine.’

***

4 days later

***

“You ready for this?” Chief Boden asked going over to Libby who was standing in front of the court house. She was testifying that day against Michael. And then from there no one knew. Mary who had stayed behind with her wanted to take her home to Brooklyn mostly so she wouldn’t be alone while everyone was on shift. “Yeah I need to be. I am scared to death but I need to do it.” Boden nodded his head as Kelly and Shay came out of the court house, “Your brother in law is a prick.” Shay said. “I know I tell him all the time. That and I don't like him. Most lawyers in general I don't like.” Kelly nodded his head, “your mom is getting anxious.” “I know she wants to go home. She misses my dad.And my brothers.” She answered,  “But at the same time she doesn’t want to leave her baby.”  Kelly put his arm around  her and lead her into the courthouse .

**

“The defense calls Elizabeth Reagan to the stand.’ Libby released Kelly's hand and stood up. She could feel all the eyes on her and it made her even more uncomfortable. Her brother in law Jack gave her a smile and offered her a wink. She gave him a timid smile in return. She stepped into the witness stand and chewed on her bottom lip. Her fingers wanted to curl into the material of her skirt. “Raise your right hand.” The plaintiff said. Libby placed her hand on the Bible and raised her right hand in the air. “Do you swear to tell the truth? The whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you god?” “I do.” “Take a seat:” she sat down and crossed her ankles and curled her fingers into her palm. “State your name for the record.” Jack said coming around the table.

“Elizabeth Rose Reagan.” “but you liked to be called Libby correct?” “Yes.” Jack nodded his head, he could tell she was tense and she wouldn't relax until she was done. Public speaking and Libby never mixed. “what are you doing in Chicago?” “I am attending Northwestern. I am working on my bachelor's degree in American History and I am also a paramedic candidate at firehouse 51.”  she glanced away from jack and met Kelly’s and then Shay’s eyes both of whom gave her smiles. “Why here?” he asked. “I fell in love with the school and the atmosphere. I went to some many schools and what not with my dad. This is where it kept going back too.” “How did you get involved in being a paramedic? I mean you are what 21?”

“Almost. I did extra courses in high school that transferred over to a paramedic course here. I interviewed with CFD and they placed at 51. Said I would learn from the best.” “And have you?” “Yes sir.” she answered. Jack smiled, “now can you tell us what happened 2 weeks ago?” Libby licked her lips and looked at Michael and then at her brother in law. “Michael showed upset that I dumped him and wanted to stay here. When  I went home for my grandma’s funeral, he wanted me to leave Chicago.  And I thought about it and I couldn’t see myself not being here and not being in Northwestern or being at Firehouse 51. Being here has helped me find myself and become someone that I like.” “And you weren’t someone you liked when you with him?” “No, I let him take advantage of me and beat me down.” “How so?” He asked. “He beat and raped me.” She answered. “When did that start?” “When I was 16. I wasn’t ready to have sex and he made me do it.” Michael leaned over and whispered something to his lawyer. His lawyer who also happened to be his older brother’s best friend and had known Libby since she was a little girl.  She closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breathes.

“Oh no.” Mary muttered to Cindy. “What?” “She needs to get down now.” “They aren’t done with her.” Christopher said leaning over his wife to look at Mary. “She is going to lose it. And it’s not going to be pretty.” mary said, Libby rarely lost it and when she did it was ugly.  

It was Danny times 10.  

Jack asked her a few more questions before moving to sit down. Rodney, Michaels attorney stood up. Libby started trembling in fear. “Libby.” “Actually to you it's Ms. Reagan.” the members of the firehouse chuckled, that sass was the libby they all knew and loved.

“Ms. Reagan.” Rodney amended, “can you tell us exactly what happened that day since Mr. Boyle didn't let you finish.” “I had gotten home from my shift at 8:30.” “Is that a normal time for you to get home?” “Yes, it is. Kelly, Leslie and I grabbed breakfast at a local diner then they dropped me off.” “Now do you spend a lot of time with Kelly and Leslie?” “I do. They kind of picked me and brought me under their wings.” “And does it bother you that Kelly is a man?” “No it doesn't. He's a good guy. Why don't ask your client if it bugged him me hanging out with a bunch of firefighters.” Libby paused, “Wait I can answer it for him he was jealous. He told me all the time that he didn't like me being there and having friends.”

Rodney nodded his head, “Now tell us what happened after kelly and Leslie dropped you off at your apartment.” “I went inside, did some homework and then fell asleep.” “At say 10 in the morning.” “Yes we work 24 hours shifts and that particular shift we were in and out of the house on calls most of the shift. So the first thing I did after I finished my paper was take a nap. Before Christopher picked me up for Sunday dinner at his house.”  

“Is that a common occurrence?” “Yes it is. Cindy, his wife decided to do it after I told her about how my family had Sunday dinners every Sunday since I could remember.”  Rodney nodded, “but what happened?” “instead of Christopher coming. Michael showed up.” “And you two had a nice chat?” libby laughed bitterly, “a nice chat? Are you kidding me? He beat me! Do you think I did this to myself?” “No.” “Well the way you are acting, makes me think you think that. Do you think I deserved this? That I deserved to be beat and raped? That I deserved to lose my baby? That I deserved to be lead to believe that I wasn't good enough for anyone?” Libby's voice rose as tears started coming down her cheeks.

“Ms Reagan.’ the judge said. “I'm sorry your honor.’ “let's take a 10 minute recess. You may step down Ms. Reagan.” libby nodded her head and stepped down. She walked out of the courtroom quickly.

The rest of 51 and Mary followed her quickly. “Libby.”  Shay said turning her head right and left. “I am right here.” Libby said from where she was sitting on the bench, her cheeks tear stained. Mary moved around them and went over to her daughter’s side. “You did good.””They are going to put me back up there and I don’t want to do it again. I can’t face him again.” “Yes you can.” Matt said kneeling down in front of her, “You are strong Lib, so strong, you survived everything that he put you through and found the will to carry on. And you are going to do that. Not you only have your family but you have all of us. We will have your back no matter what.” Libby nodded her head, “Got it Lt.” He laughed, “Matt is just fine Lib.”  She laughed and wiped her cheeks off, “I am going to go clean my face off.”  Matt squeezed her hand and let her stand up. “Shay, go with her.” Mary said softly, she knew even though she was playing off like she was fine, she would probably go cry in the bathroom before going back into the courtroom.

Shay and Gabby followed Libby into the bathroom and watched her splash cold water on her face. “I wanted to punch Rodney in the face.” Gabby said. “I have, that’s Michael’s older brother’s Francis’s best friend. He made me mad one night and I slugged him for it’ “You slugged a lawyer?” Gabby laughed. “Yes I did and I slugged 3 cops and kicked an ADA in the nuts.” Libby laughed, “Everyone i grew up with either became lawyers or cops. So yeah.” “And you are paramedic.” “Yep, I have my own ways to serve.” She said as Kelly peaked his head in, “They are ready for you Lib.” Libby nodded her head, “let's get this over with.” She muttered. Kelly put his arm around her and lead her back into the courtroom. Michael’s eyes were on her in an instant, she chose to ignore him and sit closer to kelly who wound his arm around her.

She rested her head on his shoulder wanting nothing more than to curl up on his lap just stay there but she knew that she couldn’t do that. “Ms. Reagan we are ready for you again.” The judge said. Libby nodded her head and stood up from her seat and went back the front of the courtroom. “I am sorry your honor.” The kind man that reminded her grandpa Henry smiled at her, “You are quite alright.” He said, “Mr. Smith, go ahead with your questioning.”  “Why not end it before it got too far?” “I was young and scared. I didn’t know any better, he had me all twisted up. He had me believing that I wasn’t good enough for anyone including my family.” “And what gave you courage to end the relationship?”

“My family at Firehouse 51. After he beat and raped after my grandmother’s funeral i worked up the courage to finally tell my family and my co workers what had been happening.” “Who did you tell you first?” “Outside of my twin brother and my grandma?” Rodney nodded his head. “Matt Casey, Kelly Severide, Andy Darden and Leslie Shay.” “Why them?” “Because Matt told me my first day that if I ever had a problem that i could come to him. So I did. They sat with me while I called my family and told them.”  Rodney nodded his head as Libby’s eyes widened. “Ms Reagan?” He asked. She didn’t answer, she just pointed her finger at the approaching man that was reaching into his pocket. “You pushed my daughter to her death you son of a bitch!” The man shouted pulling a gun out. Libby frozen in her spot she knew that Michael was no angel but this part was too much for her to handle.

“Libby! Get down!” Kelly yelled as he and Matt tried to get to the man that was waving the gun around. Three loud bangs went off  followed by a loud thump. She looked up and saw that Michael was slumped on the floor. The paramedic side kicked and she rushed down from the stand and over to her ex boyfriend. “Michael.” She said her hands pressing against the bullet hole in his chest.

“Shay! Dawson! Rodney was hit too!” She called over her shoulder as Hermmann came over to her side and applied pressure to the other wounds. He wanted to just let him die for all the pain he caused Libby but seeing the distress that she was made him and the other firefighters jump into action. “I am sorry Lib.” Michael said reaching his bloody hand up and grasping her uncasted wrist, “You are too good for me. I am sorry for this.”

‘No. Michael don’t you dare.” She said tears streaming down her face. Kelly came up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder, “Lib, baby, the paramedics are here, let them work.’ He said softly. Michael’s blue eyes landed on Kelly. “You take care of her. She deserves better than me.” He said his hand going lax around Libby’s wrist. “No! No! You keep your eyes open damn it.” Libby ordered as Kelly started pulling her back. The other paramedics rushed forward to try and revive him. He kept his hold strong on her. Shay and Dawson went over to his side and watched as Crawley pronounced him DOA. “No! No! No!” Libby repeated as Kelly turned her around in his arms and let her bury her face into his chest. “Shh. baby. Shh.” He said softly.

**

“Everything looks good here Lib.” Hallie Thomas, Matt’s girlfriend said smoothing down the last piece of tape of her cast. “Thanks Hallie.” “You’re welcome. Matt told me what happened are you going to be okay?” “I don’t know, he is the only guy that I have seriously been with and now he is gone.” Hallie nodded her head putting the roll down.

“Is it bad that i feel like i didn’t do enough to save him? I could have done more to save him.” “Libby, sweetie, the bullet hit his heart there was no way you couldn’t saved him.” She nodded her head before lowering it so she wouldn’t see the tears. Hallie sighed and went over to her put her arms around her letting her cry. She knew that she needed to let it out before she walked out of the room and went back around the family.  

[xlibbyxreaganxo]

Listen To Your Heart part 10

This by far is one of my favorite chapters

@prettyinpayne @ohnoitsthebat

Chapter 10: Home Sweet Chicago

“So how was the trip to Brooklyn?” Casey asked Kelly as they walked into the locker room, Libby had separated from them and went into the office to get settled in her new role. “It was intense, her family wanted to know all about our relationship and if she was living with me and Shay. And why. Her oldest nephew wanted to know if we were going to get married.” “And are you thinking about it?” Kelly looked around to make sure Shay and Dawson weren’t around anywhere. “I thought about it. But now it scares me, she was so fragile Case.” “She has a right to be. But she is getting stronger again. Just keep being there for her.” Kelly nodded his head as Shay came into the locker room shutting down the conversation for the time being.

**

“Morning Chief.” Libby commented as she glanced up from the notes that were left on the desk by headquarters. “Morning Libby. Good trip home?” he asked pausing by her desk. “Yes sir.” she answered, “it was nice being home. But I am glad we are back.” Boden nodded his head and stepped into his office.  The youngest member of the firehouse licked her lips and looked back at the paper work.  Her eyes drifted from the paperwork to the pink cast that was still on her left wrist. She had spent a lot of time when Kelly and her family weren't distracting her staring at it. Wondering if she could have done anything at all different if it would have changed things at all.

“Hey Libs, is chief in?”  Casey asked shaking her out of her thoughts. “Yeah go on in.” She answered. He nodded his head before he paused. “You okay?”  “I am okay, just a little sad.” She said, “I am still working through a lot of this stuff.”  “You know we all will listen to you if you need us too.” He said, “You aren’t alone with this.” “I know thanks Matt.”

**

3 days later

***

Kelly and Libby were in the mists of having their first major fight as a couple and it sent Shay down the street to Starbucks to wait for Kelly to take her to work. Libby wasn’t going to work that day, she was going to meet with her sister and brother in law about the grand jury that was coming up in the next week. She leaned against the counter and folded her arms under her chest and looked away from him.

“You know sometimes you drive me crazy!” Kelly said moving to where he was standing in front of her his hands bracing on either side of her. She swallowed roughly and raised her eyes slowly to meet his.  “But that is one reason why I fell in love with you to start with.” “You love me?” She asked shakily. ‘Of course I do silly girl.’ He said raising his hand and running it down her cheek.  A bright smile broke out on her face, “I love you too.” He pressed a kiss to her mouth as his fingers tangled in her blonde hair.  “You should go. Before Shay comes back here and yells. I will stop by after I am done with Erin and Jack.” She said softly. He groaned before pressing another kiss to her mouth. “Fine.’

***

4 days later

***

“You ready for this?” Chief Boden asked going over to Libby who was standing in front of the court house. She was testifying that day against Michael. And then from there no one knew. Mary who had stayed behind with her wanted to take her home to Brooklyn mostly so she wouldn’t be alone while everyone was on shift. “Yeah I need to be. I am scared to death but I need to do it.” Boden nodded his head as Kelly and Shay came out of the court house, “Your brother in law is a prick.” Shay said. “I know I tell him all the time. That and I don't like him. Most lawyers in general I don't like.” Kelly nodded his head, “your mom is getting anxious.” “I know she wants to go home. She misses my dad.And my brothers.” She answered,  “But at the same time she doesn’t want to leave her baby.”  Kelly put his arm around  her and lead her into the courthouse .

**

“The defense calls Elizabeth Reagan to the stand.’ Libby released Kelly's hand and stood up. She could feel all the eyes on her and it made her even more uncomfortable. Her brother in law Jack gave her a smile and offered her a wink. She gave him a timid smile in return. She stepped into the witness stand and chewed on her bottom lip. Her fingers wanted to curl into the material of her skirt. “Raise your right hand.” The plaintiff said. Libby placed her hand on the Bible and raised her right hand in the air. “Do you swear to tell the truth? The whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you god?” “I do.” “Take a seat:” she sat down and crossed her ankles and curled her fingers into her palm. “State your name for the record.” Jack said coming around the table.

“Elizabeth Rose Reagan.” “but you liked to be called Libby correct?” “Yes.” Jack nodded his head, he could tell she was tense and she wouldn't relax until she was done. Public speaking and Libby never mixed. “what are you doing in Chicago?” “I am attending Northwestern. I am working on my bachelor's degree in American History and I am also a paramedic candidate at firehouse 51.”  she glanced away from jack and met Kelly’s and then Shay’s eyes both of whom gave her smiles. “Why here?” he asked. “I fell in love with the school and the atmosphere. I went to some many schools and what not with my dad. This is where it kept back too.” “How did you get involved in being a paramedic? I mean you are what 21?”

“Almost. I did extra courses in high school that transferred over to a paramedic course here. I interviewed with CFD and they placed at 51. Said I would learn from the best.” “And have you?” “Yes sir.” she answered. Jack smiled, “now can you tell us what happened 2 weeks ago?” Libby licked her lips and looked at Michael and then at her brother in law. “Michael showed upset that I dumped him and wanted to stay here. When  I went home for my grandma’s funeral, he wanted me to leave Chicago.  And I thought about it and I couldn’t see myself not being here and not being in Northwestern or being at Firehouse 51. Being here has helped me find myself and become someone that I like.” “And you weren’t someone you liked when you with him?” “No, I let him take advantage of me and beat me down.” “How so?” He asked. “He beat and raped me.” She answered. “When did that start?” “When I was 16. I wasn’t ready to have sex and he made me do it.” Michael leaned over and whispered something to his lawyer. His lawyer who also happened to be his older brother’s best friend and had known Libby since she was a little girl.  She closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breathes.

“Oh no.” Mary muttered to Cindy. “What?” “She needs to get down now.” “They aren’t done with her.” Christopher said leaning over his wife to look at Mary. “She is going to lose it. And it’s not going to be pretty.” mary said, Libby rarely lost it and when she did it was ugly.  

It was Danny times 10.  

Jack asked her a few more questions before moving to sit down. Rodney, Michaels attorney stood up. Libby started trembling in fear. “Libby.” “Actually to you it's Ms. Reagan.” the members of the firehouse chuckled, that sass was the libby they all knew and loved.

“Ms. Reagan.” Rodney amended, “can you tell us exactly what happened that day since Mr. Boyle didn't let you finish.” “I had gotten home from my shift at 8:30.” “Is that a normal time for you to get home?” “Yes, it is. Kelly, Leslie and I grabbed breakfast at a local diner then they dropped me off.” “Now do you spend a lot of time with Kelly and Leslie?” “I do. They kind of picked me and brought me under their wings.” “And does it bother you that Kelly is a man?” “No it doesn't. He's a good guy. Why don't ask your client if it bugged him me hanging out with a bunch of firefighters.” Libby paused, “Wait I can answer it for him he was jealous. He told me all the time that he didn't like me being there and having friends.”

Rodney nodded his head, “Now tell us what happened after kelly and Leslie dropped you off at your apartment.” “I went inside, did some homework and then fell asleep.” “At say 10 in the morning.” “Yes we work 24 hours shifts and that particular shift we were in and out of the house on calls most of the shift. So the first thing I did after I finished my paper was take a nap. Before Christopher picked me up for Sunday dinner at his house.”  

“Is that a common occurrence?” “Yes it is. Cindy, his wife decided to do it after I told her about how my family had Sunday dinners every Sunday since I could remember.”  Rodney nodded, “but what happened?” “instead of Christopher coming. Michael showed up.” “And you two had a nice chat?” libby laughed bitterly, “a nice chat? Are you kidding me? He beat me! Do you think I did this to myself?” “No.” “Well the way you are acting, makes me think you think that. Do you think I deserved this? That I deserved to be beat and raped? That I deserved to lose my baby? That I deserved to be lead to believe that I wasn't good enough for anyone?” Libby's voice rose as tears started coming down her cheeks.

“Ms Reagan.’ the judge said. “I'm sorry your honor.’ “let's take a 10 minute recess. You may step down Ms. Reagan.” libby nodded her head and stepped down. She walked out of the courtroom quickly.

The rest of 51 and Mary followed her quickly. “Libby.”  Shay said turning her head right and left. “I am right here.” Libby said from where she was sitting on the bench, her cheeks tear stained. Mary moved around them and went over to her daughter’s side. “You did good.””They are going to put me back up there and I don’t want to do it again. I can’t face him again.” “Yes you can.” Matt said kneeling down in front of her, “You are strong Lib, so strong, you survived everything that he put you through and found the will to carry on. And you are going to do that. Not you only have your family but you have all of us. We will have your back no matter what.” Libby nodded her head, “Got it Lt.” He laughed, “Matt is just fine Lib.”  She laughed and wiped her cheeks off, “I am going to go clean my face off.”  Matt squeezed her hand and let her stand up. “Shay, go with her.” Mary said softly, she knew even though she was playing off like she was fine, she would probably go cry in the bathroom before going back into the courtroom.

Shay and Gabby followed Libby into the bathroom and watched her splash cold water on her face. “I wanted to punch Rodney in the face.” Gabby said. “I have, that’s Michael’s older brother’s Francis’s best friend. He made me mad one night and I slugged him for it’ “You slugged a lawyer?” Gabby laughed. “Yes I did and I slugged 3 cops and kicked an ADA in the nuts.” Libby laughed, “Everyone i grew up with either became lawyers or cops. So yeah.” “And you are paramedic.” “Yep, I have my own ways to serve.” She said as Kelly peaked his head in, “They are ready for you Lib.” Libby nodded her head, “let's get this over with.” She muttered. Kelly put his arm around her and lead her back into the courtroom. Michael’s eyes were on her in an instant, she chose to ignore him and sit closer to kelly who wound his arm around her.

She rested her head on his shoulder wanting nothing more than to curl up on his lap just stay there but she knew that she couldn’t do that. “Ms. Reagan we are ready for you again.” The judge said. Libby nodded her head and stood up from her seat and went back the front of the courtroom. “I am sorry your honor.” The kind man that reminded her grandpa Henry smiled at her, “You are quite alright.” He said, “Mr. Smith, go ahead with your questioning.”  “Why not end it before it got too far?” “I was young and scared. I didn’t know any better, he had me all twisted up. He had me believing that I wasn’t good enough for anyone including my family.” “And what gave you courage to end the relationship?”

“My family at Firehouse 51. After he beat and raped after my grandmother’s funeral i worked up the courage to finally tell my family and my co workers what had been happening.” “Who did you tell you first?” “Outside of my twin brother and my grandma?” Rodney nodded his head. “Matt Casey, Kelly Severide, Andy Darden and Leslie Shay.” “Why them?” “Because Matt told me my first day that if I ever had a problem that i could come to him. So I did. They sat with me while I called my family and told them.”  Rodney nodded his head as Libby’s eyes widened. “Ms Reagan?” He asked. She didn’t answer, she just pointed her finger at the approaching man that was reaching into his pocket. “You pushed my daughter to her death you son of a bitch!” The man shouted pulling a gun out. Libby frozen in her spot she knew that Michael was no angel but this part was too much for her to handle.

“Libby! Get down!” Kelly yelled as he and Matt tried to get to the man that was waving the gun around. Three loud bangs went off  followed by a loud thump. She looked up and saw that Michael was slumped on the floor. The paramedic side kicked and she rushed down from the stand and over to her ex boyfriend. “Michael.” She said her hands pressing against the bullet hole in his chest.

“Shay! Dawson! Rodney was hit too!” She called over her shoulder as Hermmann came over to her side and applied pressure to the other wounds. He wanted to just let him die for all the pain he caused Libby but seeing the distress that she was made him and the other firefighters jump into action. “I am sorry Liz.” Michael said reaching his bloody hand up and grasping her uncasted wrist, “You are too good for me. I am sorry for this.”

‘No. Michael don’t you dare.” She said tears streaming down her face. Kelly came up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder, “Lib, baby, the paramedics are here, let them work.’ He said softly. Michael’s blue eyes landed on Kelly. “You take care of her. She deserves better than me.” He said his hand going lax around Libby’s wrist. “No! No! You keep your eyes open damn it.” Libby ordered as Kelly started pulling her back. The other paramedics rushed forward to try and revive him. He kept his hold strong on her. Shay and Dawson went over to his side and watched as Crawley pronounced him DOA. “No! No! No!” Libby repeated as Kelly turned her around in his arms and let her bury her face into his chest. “Shh. baby. Shh.” He said softly.

**

“Everything looks good here Lib.” Hallie Thomas, Matt’s girlfriend said smoothing down the last piece of tape of her cast. “Thanks Hallie.” “You’re welcome. Matt told me what happened are you going to be okay?” “I don’t know, he is the only guy that I have seriously been with and now he is gone.” Hallie nodded her head putting the roll down.

“Is it bad that i feel like i didn’t do enough to save him? I could have done more to save him.” “Libby, sweetie, the bullet hit his heart there was no way you couldn’t saved him.” She nodded her head before lowering it so she wouldn’t see the tears. Hallie sighed and went over to her put her arms around her letting her cry. She knew that she needed to let it out before she walked out of the room and went back around the family.  

[crazy-loca-blog]

Meet My MC: Dr. Casey Valentine

A/N: The original base template belongs to @jamespotterthefirst. I added some extra items to it.

~~*~~*~~

Casey's Bio

Book: Open Heart

Full Name: Casey Marie Valentine

Face Claim: Emilia Clarke

Nicknames: Ethan used to call her "Rookie" during her intern year, but then it evolved to just Casey and now she doesn't actually have a nickname.

Birthday: December 4

Sexual orientation: She considers herself straight, but she believes in sexual fluidity

Love Interest(s):  Ethan Ramsey (husband)

Kids: None (yet)

Hair: Brown, usually long hair. Sometimes she'll take risks and you may see her hair shorter and/or lighter, but she is a proud brunette.

Eyes: Green

Height: 5'7"

Hometown: Abingdon, Virginia

Education: Internal medicine / Duke University

Occupation: Head of the Diagnostics Team at Edenbrook Hospital

Family: Maggie and Tom Valentine (parents, dead), Marie Smith (grandmother, dead), Oliver Valentine (twin brother, alive)

Personal motto: "If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain"

Background: Casey and her brother Oliver were born and raised in a small town. They lived a happy and very normal childhood, until Maggie and Tom, their parents, died in a car accident when the twins were 7 years old. After the accident, the Valentine's siblings were raised by their grandma Marie, who passed away about a month before Casey began her residency at Edenbrook.

Personality traits: She is a very private person, but she's also passionate about her patients and about the things and the people that matter to her. She is a team player (especially when it comes to work, she loves recognizing her peers work, from doctors to nurses, paramedics and even security) and she is a fighter. She also considers herself a nerd and she's proud of it.

On the relationship with her brother: Both Oliver and Casey have always felt it's them against the world. They're not only siblings and the only family they both have left, but they're also best friends. They've always faced life together and they fully support each other on everything they do, so even though being apart while Casey was doing her residency in Boston was not an ideal situation, they both knew it was necessary for her to develop her full potential as a doctor. Oliver couldn't be more proud of his sister.

On her love life: Her experience when it comes to relationships is not the best. No matter how she acts regarding the relationship, she always ended up being hurt. By the time she was accepted at Edenbrook, she had been single for two years and she had completely given up on love. When she met Ethan, one of the things that surprised her the most was how they shared the same vision on marriage and kids (of course, she has her own troubled past), and when she began developing feelings for him (she fought her feelings for Ethan just as much as he did!), she began to wonder if she had actually been in love before meeting him.

On her parents accident: Casey's parents were on their way to pick Casey and Oliver from grandma Marie's house when some driver (who was apparently drunk) crashed their car after running a red light. The responsible managed to escape, and there were no witnesses, so there was no one to call the 911 until a few minutes later. This meant that the EMT and first responders arrived when it was already too late to save them. The fact that they died because they didn't receive medical care on time kind of stuck with little Casey, who promised herself that she would become a doctor to do anything to prevent people from dying for not receiving the care they needed when they needed it.

~~*~~*~~

12 Random Facts on Casey

Casey and Oliver don’t have nicknames because grandma Marie HATED them. She always said they had names for a reason, and that they had to respect their parents’ wishes.

Casey was always a good student because she genuinely loved learning new things and her sense of curiosity demanded her to keep learning. The good grades were just an added bonus.

She wasn't popular in high school, but she wasn't at the bottom of the popularity list either. She was a low profile student, but she loved participating in different extracurricular activities, so that led her to meet a lot of people.

Bryce has never understood why he loses every time that he challenges Casey to a basketball match. What he doesn’t know is that Casey actually played basketball since she was a kid and until she graduated from high school.

She isn't a big fan of parties. She likes attending one once in a while, but she is definitely happier when staying at home or at a bar or a restaurant with a group of friends sharing some good conversation. She also hates getting drunk because it makes her feel she's not in control of herself, so she most definitely stops after the second or the third drink (as soon as she begins to feel tipsy).

She knows how to drive, but she hates it, so she avoids it like the plague. She'll always prefer using the subway.

She has always felt she had to grow up too fast after her parents' accident, so even though she was always surrounded by love, she feels she never lived her childhood to the fullest after her parents died.

When she was 16, she had one of her ovaries removed due to cysts. In order to protect her only ovary left, she has to permanently be on the pill. This also means that the chances for her to get pregnant are pretty much a Russian roulette. She must plan her pregnancies and she may have no issues getting pregnant, but there is also a real chance that she may have fertility issues or an ectopic pregnancy. So Casey pretty much forced herself to forget about the idea of becoming a mom.

When talking about her love life, Oliver and Casey have always had this discussion on whether she had two, “two and a half” or three relationships before meeting Ethan. She did have two serious relationships, but the third one... debatable.

She claims she didn't google Ethan during her university years because she didn't care about him, but only about his book. Then, when she was admitted to Edenbroook, she refused to google him to see his picture, claiming that "she wanted the knowledge to do all the talking".

Grandma Marie was the person who gave Casey her copy of Ethan Ramsey's book. Casey used to borrow the book from the library for her own investigations for the advanced biology class in her senior year in high school, but she always complained that she couldn't make notes in the book. So grandma Marie decided to give her the book as a Christmas present to give her one final push to convince her to go to medical school. A few days before Marie died, Casey gave her the news that she had been accepted at Edenbrook to work with Ethan.

She decided not to change her last name after marrying Ethan. It was important for her to keep it because it’s one of the few things she has left of her parents, so it has some great sentimental value. When she told Ethan about it, he just said “I’d hate for you to change your last name just for some stupid, old-fashioned and sexist tradition, especially when you’ve made yourself a name on medicine with your maiden name”.