#and after making sure that white is not angry anymore you can see sean relaxing and letting himself be in the moment

[letsabandonthisworld]

ONE YEAR OF NOT ME DAY 4: favorite scene - the one where they fall in love while holding hands under a pride flag and shouting for marriage equality

[timebuzzer]

Love Channels Chapter 11.1: CH 162

Jamie's POV

“I’m back early. Do you want to have dinner?” I’m on the phone with him. I know he didn’t go home this weekend to work on his paper.

“Yeah, I’m starving and my apartment is suffocating. Do you want me to pick you up or meet you somewhere?”

“Don’t drive, you might be too exhausted. I’ll just meet you at a restaurant? Will text you the address. I’ll change quickly and then message you once I’m out.”

“Okay, I can’t wait to see you. I missed you.”

“I missed you too. See you in a bit.”

We hung up and I changed to a light skirt and green cardigan.

Sean arrived at the restaurant I picked for the both of us. He’s wearing a light brown cardigan on top of a white polo shirt. The semester ending got everyone crazy complying with all the remaining requirements and he’s no exception. But how can he look so fresh despite the hours he’s putting in to finish his paper?

“Hi, sorry, got here a bit late.” Sean greeted me with a peck on my lips. We’ve gotten accustomed to this kind of kiss whenever we greet each other.

“It’s alright, you’re just in time. I already ordered food so that we don’t wait long.”

“I trust your food preference so I can’t wait. How’s your weekend?”

“Pleasant. Remarkable. Refreshing. Food-Coma inducing. Relaxing. Such an escape.” I started enumerating all the possible descriptions I can manage.

“Jammmiiiiieeeee…” he said, stretching the syllables of my name.

“Whhhaaaaaaaat?” Copying his tone while giving him the brightest smile possible.

“You’re stalling, you want to tell me something, please go at it.”

“You asked how my weekend was, so I described it in words that can paint you a proper picture.” Yes, I’m stalling.

“Did something happen?” He looked a bit serious and reached for my loose hair trying to tuck it in.

Why did he get so serious all of a sudden? Sometimes he worries too much about me.

“Hey, why do you look so sullen? Nothing bad happened. It was really a pleasant weekend with my parents. I swear.” I got my serious face on but liking the fact that this is how concerned he is for me.

“Sorry, it’s just all these craziness we’re having as the semester ends is getting to me. I know you’re on your last stretch and I just am concerned you’re having a hard time.”

“Thank you but I am really not, well not that much anymore. All I have left is my presentation and my adviser said my research is good to go. I’m used to presenting to seniors and professors so I just have to prepare for questions. Plus my Dad offered to read through it to see if I missed out on anything. So please, stop worrying. How’s your weekend?”

Such deflection is sometimes key to building up the courage to discuss something that’s inevitable. An excuse I tell myself occasionally.

“That’s a relief. Eerrr, my weekend is unremarkable. Other than the words I have to spew out of my head and the designs I have to explain plus the efficiency numerics that come with it, nothing much. Glad you arrived early though, I needed this break. Thank you.”

I’ve been mentioning “Dad” in my responses. I guess I just have to tell him after we enjoy our dinner. He looked so hungry devouring the food in front of him, I had to ask.

“Did you even eat lunch? Or had any food today? You looked famished.”

“I think I only had breakfast when you called and reminded me this morning. I got through the day with snacks and coffee though.” He smirked.

“Stop skipping meals.” I reprimanded him.

“Look who’s talking.” He gave me a glare.

“Touché.”

“Do you want to get ice cream?”

“Nope, I can’t eat anymore sweets today. Mom made hotteok for snacks. I brought some for you, she wanted you to try them.” There, a great opening for this discussion.

“That’s sweet of her.” Still not realizing what I said.

“I brought it with me so that when we take the taxi home you don’t have to get off because you need sleep.”

Recognition flashed through his face. Here we go.

“Wait, what do you mean your Mom wanted me to have some of her homemade hotteok?”

“Well. She wanted you to try her food. Plus she added side dishes too, in case.”

“Jamie you know that’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” Bright smile, less expectations Jamie.

“Spill it.” He raised his eyebrows.

“I was having my afternoon tea with Dad, well he had coffee but that’s not the point.” I paused.

“And...?

“He asked about how school is, we talked about it and then the conversation led me to talking about you, then Mom joined us in the garden and I told her as well. Showed them your picture proudly too. That’s it.”

“What do you mean that’s it? You’re making it sound so simple. Did they get angry? What was their reaction when you told them you’re seeing me? What did you tell them about me? What do they think about you dating me? How did you tell them?”

“Sean, you’re throwing me twenty questions I cannot answer them all right away. Calm down.”

“It’s your parents we’re talking about here you know. You told them about me. I don’t know what or how to respond to this. I’ve yet to tell my parents about you, which don’t get me wrong, I am dying to tell them really. I just got to make sure of the timing. Cause my Mom, oh God, I will never hear the end of “Invite her for lunch or dinner or to this party” whenever we talk. That’s for sure. I can bet my grades on it.”

“Are you mad?” I’m now just unsure of what he’s feeling. But the thought of him being concerned that his Mom might bombard me with invites is touching.

“No, I am not. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like that. Just surprised, I promise. You could get so guarded with these things so I’m surprised you told your parents about me.”

“Calm down okay. Don’t get your pants on fire. I told Dad first, he didn't probe much. He just listened to me enumerate the great qualities you have and what our relationship is like. They can form their opinions but my parents don’t really meddle with our relationships. They’re not overbearing. That I can guarantee.”

“And?” I laughed at his curiosity.

“And, they are fine with me dating. I’m old enough and they trust me to make decisions on my own, getting into relationships included. Thus, food for you from my Mom because she’s worried that you might not be eating well these days too due to school work. Does that calm you down?”

“I guess. That’s sweet of your mom, please tell her thank you. I appreciate the concern.”

“Sorry, I didn't mean to give you this kind of shock on a hectic week.”

“It’s okay. I’m actually relieved, come to think of it. You, telling your parents about me.”

“There’s more though.”

“Huh?”

“My Dad would like to have coffee with you when all these school demands are over. Mom wants to cook lunch for you too.” I gave him a playful smile.

“Oh..”

“That’s what I wanted to tell you earlier.”

“You.” Wiggling his index finger at me but smiling brightly. “What a way to sneak this news in huh? You really have your ways.” He laughed.

[rllysean-blog]

first middle and last name?

Sean Michael Erwin

age

26

favorite item of clothing

I don’t know if it counts, but I’m pretty attached to my handkerchiefs. They started out as a gag gift from some students, but now I end up carrying them around when I go out. 

drink you’d order at a bar?

I’m a white wine drinker honestly.

what is your zodiac sign?

Pisces, but I’ve been told I’m more of a Libra, whatever that means. 

best physical attribute/worst physical attribute

I like to think I’ve got a good smile, so if I have to pick, I’d go with that.

I look pretty old for my age though, I’ve got students telling me that once you’re over thirty being single is sad... I’m not sure they believe that I’m not over thirty.

favorite room in your house

The living room, I guess? I don’t know, I don’t really think about it too much. I spend more time out in the garden than anything else. I don’t know if that counts, but it’s my favorite part of the house.

what was your last dream about?

... it was more of a memory really. I’d rather not talk about it.

biggest goal

Good question. I’ll get back to you when I figure that out.

closest family member

I haven’t actually seen any of my family in a while, but I was pretty close to both my parents, though especially my mom. She taught me how to cook before I left home.

who would you call in an emergency?

Depends on the type of emergency really. Now that I’m back home, maybe Rory? I’m not sure if we’re at that level yet though.

what makes you nervous?

I don’t usually get nervous. I’ve never been afraid of rejection and I like people, so not much I guess.

have you committed any crimes? were you caught?

I did a lot of things in my younger days that I don’t know if I should be proud of. But most people did some underage drinking and minor disturbances when they were younger, right? We got caught breaking curfew a couple of times so... yeah. 

if you found a wallet, what would you do with it?

I’d give it back. With the money still inside.

what makes you angry?

I don’t get angry easily. If anything I guess maybe hearing insults about people I care about is one of the rare things that will really set me off. Insults to myself are fine, but when it comes to people that I really love, I’m not good at just listening and not reacting.

have you ever been to the hospital?

A couple of times. I haven’t been much or myself but two years ago I almost lived there for a while.

have you ever fired a gun?

No.

favorite swear word?

I don’t swear. I broke the habit a few years ago, which is probably for the best being a teacher and everything. I don’t know that I had a favorite back in the day anyway.

do you have any scars?

Sure, don’t most people end up with at least a couple? We were all kids once, though I might have been more wild than some.

biggest weakness

When I care about something, it’s hard for me to see the flaws in it. I tend to believe the absolute best in them, whether or not the things deserve it.

greatest strength

I think I’m pretty secure as a person? I don’t always think of myself as the best, but I’m not offended easily or put off by rejection. It’s really hard for people to upset me.

what kind of student are/were you?

Honestly, I think I was probably the worst kind of student. I didn’t do work, didn’t show up on time (if at all) and didn’t pay any attention. It’s a wonder I even graduated (thank you Rory), so no one should look to me as a role model as far as academics are concerned.

most vivid childhood memory?

There was one time that Rory and I got stuck on the roof of the school after they locked the doors and we couldn’t get back out so we had to jump to nearby trees and try to find whatever way we could to shimmy down in time for dinner or else his grandparents would have freaked. ... in hindsight, that was probably really dangerous. I’m sort of surprised we made it without actually really getting hurt.

what are you allergic to?

No allergies that I know of.

your personal philosophy

Do the best you can.

biggest misconception about you?

That I’m happy in my life. 

who would be your ideal partner?

Mostly I guess I’ve always just been drawn to people who need me. People who will be needy and high maintenance and expect me to do a lot of  things for them. There’s just something nice in the feeling of having someone and knowing that they’re always counting on you in that way. 

do you want children?

... not anymore, no.

biggest accomplishment

Making it through college? I was working one or two jobs at the time on top of everything and with my work ethic... it’s a bit unbelievable. 

do you have much of an ego?

I wouldn’t say so, I think my head is pretty reasonably sized. I like to think that I have a high enough opinion of myself, but I also don’t think I’m better than anyone else particularly.

can you do any other accents other than your own?

... clearly not. Don’t get me wrong, I try but somehow I can never really get it right. I’m starting to really wonder if learning foreign languages is for me.

biggest regret

I regret a lot of things. Most of them I don’t want to talk about, sorry.

have you ever been in love?

Yes. Such a wonderful but complicated thing.

are you in love right now?

... that’s complicated. I think when you really love someone, it never really goes away.

do you believe god?

I guess I just don’t really think about it.

favorite school subject?

Honestly? I liked math. English was a bore and history is just annoying to learn.

can you name all 50 states of america?

Maybe? I don’t know. Probably not, I never bothered to try and learn how. 

what secret are you hiding from everyone you know?

.... nothing important.

biggest wish

I’ve given up on wishing. It doesn’t seem like mine ever really want to come true.

what do you hate most about yourself?

I hate that I can’t do enough. There are so many things I wish I was able to do, but time and time again it’s proved that I can’t. I always want to be enough and the type of person that as long as I put effort into something I can make it happen, but clearly I just don’t have talents for some things.

what do you fear the most?

Losing people important to me.

who was your first real crush?

There was a girl I met one summer and it was... different. We spent so much time together and it all felt like what they make songs about. It was just a silly summer fling, of course, and nothing too big, but at the time it felt pretty special.

are you a very affectionate person?

Sometimes I can be too much. I get clingy and desperate to do anything I can to please them... I have been told it can sometimes get suffocating. 

do you think you’re a good person?

I think so. I can’t think of many things I’ve done that would make people think otherwise.

when did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? was the feeling mutual?

There was a drunk girl in the bar the other night telling me that she loved me, but I think that was just because she wanted to get me into bed. I didn’t say it back, but I think we both knew that neither of us really felt it.

what do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day?

I work out in my garden or I cook. Those are my two real escapes. 

what do you get complimented on the most?

People tend to think that I’m a pretty nice guy, and that feels like something to be proud of.

is there a song which can bring you to tears instantly?

It’s been a long time since I cried, so I’ll say no.

have you ever online dated?

I’ve thought about trying it, but no, I can’t say that I have.

what are five things you want to do before you die?

I don’t think I can think of five things. I don’t really plan ahead like that, I’d rather just take life as it happens.