#and actually there's something you could do with how Steve is much more comfortable addressing things that are further away from himself
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whetstonefires · 2 years ago
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i mean, i would contest some of this analysis, because there's also the fact that the films do in fact handle Tony's problem as being heart-exclusive. it should affect his lung capacity, logically, but textually it doesn't.
and he declared at the end of IM3 that he Fixed It For Good, in a little narrated science montage that framed not having gotten around to fixing his disability before this as a matter of lacking the correct form of motivation, self-respect, and clarity of purpose--as, in fact, a result of character flaws he was now triumphing over.
tony's cure was presented as a moral victory in the battle of man-against-self. he's rewarded for his strength of will and brilliance by being freed from his disability.
so the parts of the fandom that engage with the idea that tony stark has a disability that extends in scope beyond 'dependent for heart function on giant epic pacemaker that also powers his supersuit' and in time past 'Iron Man III' are the parts of the fandom that are motivated to actively read interesting human frailties into the character, even against the text. very normal fandom activity! no shade!
this is also true to a considerable extent of the people willing to engage with steve rogers as someone experienced with human frailty. it was an explicit, thematically centered part of the text in the first Captain America film, but marvel hasn't actively acknowledged it since, so you have to care about his character to read it as still relevant.
i definitely noticed back when i was still reading MCU fic that tony-centric stories quite routinely characterized steve without any acknowledgement that he hadn't always been exactly what he looks like in Avengers (2012), to a sometimes comical degree, because that was the text the fic writers were engaging with and they had no motive to engage with cap any deeper.
the thing is that i, personally, find people interested in expanding further on tony stark's human frailties tend to be really insufferable about it.
because the iron man films traffic in a moral logic where suffering somehow pays off harmful behavior. like if Tony gets tazed by SHIELD Agents this means he's been 'punished' for his 'childish' lashing-out and destructive reactions to his impending mortality, which then closes the book on those actions and relegates them to the past, paid down like bills and therefore irrelevant, in some elaborate system of balances where at the end if you get a positive sum due to stacking up enough moral tax write-offs you have Won at Good Guy.
since this is the logic of the films, it gets extended into the fandom a lot, and i find it a toxic and distressing moral framework to begin with and absolutely heinous as a way to approach disability.
like honestly i've seen the idea of tony's hypothetical physical disability as well as his actual textual one leveraged to raise his whump score and thereby forcibly render him more sympathetic so many times i am exhausted at the thought of engaging with the idea even in purest good faith, because at this point i expect it to be used for emotional manipulation.
meanwhile the people interested in Steve's history of disability can be absolutely precious about it, and the ones getting in shoving competitions with Iron Man fans can be terribly smug, but quite a lot of the time outside that they're just examining it, and its impact on his character, and its historical context, rather than trying to Win anything.
it's allowed to just exist. so i prefer that by a lot.
What would be interesting is taking the way neither of them ever want to deal with their own damage, and the deep shame they both attach to weakness, and like. Looking at how that relates to disability issues in the larger world, and how many things haven't really changed.
Something something Steve Roger's was disabled and became able-bodied, Tony Stark was able-bodied and became disabled, the processes that led to those changes were intimately connected to their becoming heroes and just as connected to their respective treatments by fandom
There's a point in here but I'm too congested to stay awake and write it out
#tony is definitely a white man come on#like even if you can find something in his family tree that isn't#he lives in the world as a white billionaire with an anglo name#i'm not engaging with this in the post but COME ON#but yeah the part where tony declares he fixed himself physically as a result of getting his head straightened out#in an ending montage#and the fandom just did not want to engage with that because it was one of the places Marvel was so deeply out of joint#with their viewership#except actually they may not have been#because the man on the street who doesn't write fandom meta#may have actually been tired of disabled-but-we're-not-doing-anything-inspirational-with-it Iron Man#idk#thinking about the idea of interrogating disability in society over the past 90 years#and how much it hasn't changed#and actually there's something you could do with how Steve is much more comfortable addressing things that are further away from himself#that it would be more natural for him to advocate for disability rights while *not* identifying himself with the community in any way#whereas tony is most comfortable in situations that are about him#but isn't actually any more willing to be open or vulnerable than steve#unless he's creating a narrative around a given vulnerability that puts him in control#so in fact if Tony decided to get in on Pulmonary Disabilities he would be all over his own lung damage tying him to the issue#while steve would need to be prodded into involving himself like 'I Had Asthma As A Kid'#he would not want to speak as an authority on the subject because that's both culturally and personally not the type of character he is#so they could go through opposite character journeys that both arrived at being able to sit with their own traumas in more honesty#the way marvel has handled tony is so funny tho#he got Bad PTSD from the nuke incident in Avengers that was tied to exactly just that and nothing else#and it went away after one film#that was objectively one of the least traumatic near death experiences the man has ever had and that's not even how ptsd works#like how do you as a fan make sense of this i can't i am out of this fandom so hard#congratulations to disney on recreating everything that's wrong with comic books lmao
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lesbianrobin · 5 months ago
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i understand ur post but i have a byler mutual saying almost the exact same thing about if they make mlvn endgame because to give will one sole love interest and put him through that much trauma and struggle to accept his sexuality only to have the guy reject him and end up with his sister is homophobic writing and u probably dont agree but i find it hysterical that st have managed to get themselves into such a conundrum that their only option is to introduce mikes secret twin of the opposite sexuality thats been there the whole time so they both get a happy ending. surely this is a perfect plan and there are no flaws whatsoever and everyone will be satisfied
SMCKSKXJSNKE i was literally just talking to sarah about how they've written themselves into a corner by reintroducing the stoncy love triangle in s4 because BEFORE they could have been like yeah steve is over her and now he's finding fulfillment outside of romance etc etc but now they've reignited stancy for some fuckin reason (my fingers are crossed for that theory that says since the upside down is stuck in 1983 it was making steve and nancy's 1983 feelings come back) and suddenly they'll be pissing off Some segment of the fanbase no matter what they do.
re: byler i think. well first of all i think that byler isn't even remotely on the radar of casual viewers as an actual possibility and i don't think it could happen in s5 bc the vast majority of viewers would be like where the fuck did that come from. second of all my el argument is partially a joke but also it's just fundamentally a very different situation where like. for will if byler doesn't happen nothing gets Worse for him shit just stays the same. for el if byler happens something Must get worse for her like she loses her boyfriend of 2-3 years. they're in different situations.
third of all i think it's very silly for people to act like will Needs for mike to like him back in order to be happy when like. it's not The Crush that's making will miserable it's being closeted in a small town in the 1980s and feeling like he can never have what he wants and be truly happy in life. mike liking him back would not fix the misery he feels at having to hide this part of himself from the world.
yknow in s3 robin is a sorta closed-off character who's snarky and prickly at times and she only really opens up in the russian torture scene + the bathroom scene. and in the bathroom scene she is Terrified to tell steve she likes girls but she confesses to having a crush on tammy thompson and... steve makes her feel okay about it. he makes fun of her crush and robin feels Normal and Safe and they laugh together and by the time s4 rolls around robin is a much more open and happy person than she was back before she'd come out to steve. she's more herself. and you know what never happened? tammy thompson never liked her back. robin didn't need a girlfriend. she needed love and support and validation from a good friend. she needed to find comfort with herself and her sexuality and all the other parts of her that she hid behind a tough exterior for protection.
as much as i hate watching will scenes bc noah schnapp can't act for shit, i am kinda looking forward to seeing him finally openly addressing his sexuality in s5 and maybe realizing that his childhood crush on his best friend not being reciprocated isn't the end of the world. i think if will could move on and let mike go (in the romantic sense not as a friend) it might also feel a bit like letting go of all his pain over the past few years and starting over with a clean slate. obviously idk what exactly's gonna happen in s5 we're all just making shit up right now but i guess that's kinda what i hope will happen with him.
it makes me sad kinda that will's most dedicated fans are more preoccupied with getting him a boyfriend than like... self-confidence and shit. but i'm not actually that sad bc i kinda don't give a fuck about will anyway
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ilovecupcakesandtea · 1 year ago
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Chapter 1
Eddie paced back and forth, he wasn’t sure how he was going to start this conversation with Steve or how it was going to go? He knew it was an amazing opportunity but he couldn’t say yes without speaking to Steve. Would Steve think he was being too forward? Overstepping in the relationship. It felt like it had only been seconds since he had been home but he’s actually been pacing for about 40 minutes before Steve came home with Nova.
“Dada!!” Nova screamed as she wriggled away from Steve and ran towards Eddie, colliding with his legs. 
“Hey Eds. How was work?”
“Hey muffin, had a good day?” Eddie asked Nova “errmm yeah, work was ok. Can we talk about it please?” he addressed Steve 
“Of course. What’s up?” Steve asked as he sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him.
“So, I’ve been offered a promotion” Eddie told him, sitting down next to Steve whilst fiddling with his fingers. 
“Sweetheart, that's great!” Steve said before noticing Eddie’s fidgeting. “Or not? Talk to me. What are you thinking?”
“It’s going to be longer hours, I’ll need to be there when the boss isn’t basically, which means you’ll have to look after little miss more some days. I get an extra day off in the week but my working days will be longer. It’s putting on you more than I already do. I can turn it down if we can’t make it work.”
“That wouldn’t be a problem at all as long as it’s not during my current work hours. I’m sure we can figure it out.”
“So, errmm,” Eddie started, standing up and pacing again. “The promotion comes with a bonus and a hefty wage increase. You could, errmm, as long as you wanted too obviously, like have a good think about it, you could leave your job. You could find something you really wanted to do, take an online course, or not if you didn't want to. Basically, this promotion would allow us to live comfortably without you having to work, if you didn't want to that is.” Eddie practically blurted. He was so good Steve could understand his ramblings. 
“As much as I would love that, I don’t know. I know we haven’t really talked about it but uh…” Steve paused, looking away from Eddie and rubbing the back of his neck. “What about our future? What if we want more kids or something? Me staying home wouldn’t really be an option then. I don’t want me not having a job to stop us from things we might want later on.”
Eddie stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Steve “You want to raise another one with me?” he asked, sounding small. 
“If you’d want to.”
“Who would be stupid enough to not want more kids with you?” Eddie asked, surprised that Steve would even consider him saying no an option. “But I feel we’re a little off track here, we need to discuss this promotion. If you want to quit your job and stay at home, we can afford it on my new wage. We can even put money up for the future you’re talking about and we can always reevaluate things when Nova goes to school.” 
“You like the idea of me being your little housewife?” Steve laughed.
“I’ll even buy you a little apron and some heels,” Eddie teased, sitting back down on the couch. 
“It would mean that I’d get more time with you since I wouldn’t have to sleep most of the time you’re home. How can I say no to that?”
“This mean I get to have more time in bed with you conscious?” Eddie enquired, pulling Steve into a kiss. “So is it settled, have I got myself a little housewife and I’ve become the alpha male that provides for his family whilst his wife is at home bitching with and about the neighbours?” 
“Do I not bitch about Susan enough already?”
“Yeah you do baby, its adorable” 
“Adorable? Yeah ok, sure.” Steve huffs and crosses his arms.
“Yes, adorable sweetheart” Eddie hummed kissing Steves nose.
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Steve had been nervously planning for months. He had tried hard to think of something over the top but wasn’t sure that any of those ideas had really been something that fit Eddie. The plan wouldn’t have come together if it hadn’t been for Dustin. Without his help, Steve’s idea wouldn’t really have been possible. They secretly got together for a week before they started what Dustin insisted on referring to as ‘phase one’. 
Phase one started with Dustin telling Eddie that he had an idea for a one shot that he wanted to try. Dustin had been talking about how he had wanted to try to DM long before Steve even thought about planning. It was the perfect start so Eddie wouldn’t expect a thing. Dustin refused to tell Eddie anything about it but he agreed to play anyway. Phase two was a lot longer, Steve was trying hard to not be impatient to finally get to phase four but phase two was making it difficult. For a month Dustin would bug Steve everytime he saw him and Eddie was around about playing with them. Acting annoyed and uninterested was easier than he’d thought. When they had been planning, Dustin had suggested that they make a show of Dustin pretending to annoy Steve about playing so that Eddie wouldn’t expect anything when Steve sat down with them to play.
Phase three was one they had debated on when to start it. Steve had wanted to find a way to get Nova involved but he knew that if they told her about her part in all of it before that day then there was no doubt Eddie would find out. Nova had a bad record for keeping secrets. They had given up trying when she had told Steve about the small surprise party Eddie had been planning. Robin had agreed to come over and explain to Nova what her part was while everyone else was in another room. 
Now everyone was seated at their kitchen table, Dustin at the head of the table and to Steve’s right with Eddie to his left. At the start of the one shot, the party had been at a tavern where they heard several people complaining about their valuables and small farm animals going missing. They talked with the NPC Dustin set up for Steve to play who insisted on helping them to get back something he'd lost. After talking to the other villagers, they had decided to set up a trap and follow whatever it was with a small goat and the few things that had between them that appeared valuable. They ended up following a small dragon back to it’s cave. Robin knew that was her que and brought Nova out along with their arms full of toys and set them down in a pile to act as Nova's dragon hoard. 
“I know I’m not actually a player but can I still try talking to the dragon?” Steve asked Dustin.
“I’ll allow this once.” Dustin replied.
“Hi there little dragon.” Steve said as he knelt down to Nova’s level, only to be stared down by her. “Where’d you got all this nice stuff from?” 
“I found it.” Nova answered after Robin whispered in her ear.
“Oh really? The villagers will be happy to know you found it. They’ve all been wondering where their things went. I’m sure they’d be happy to get it back.”
“Nuh uh. It’s mine now. I found it.” Nova pouted. 
“Everyone will be so sad though.” Steve tried but only got a shrug from Nova in return. “Would you be willing to give me just one thing back then? I need it for something very important and I can’t do it without it.”
“Just one?” Nova asked.
“Yes. Just the one. I promise.”
“Ok.” Nova said as Robin handed her a small black box that she then handed to Steve.
“Thank you little dragon.” Steve smiled and ruffled her hair before going down on one knee next to Eddie. 
“Steve?” Eddie whispered.
“We’ve kind of did a lot of this backwards, moving in and having a kid together before we even really got together but I’ve loved every second of it. You and Nova have brought more life into this house than I ever thought possible. I can’t imagine my life without the two of you and I don’t want to. Will you marry me?”
“Say yes Daddy!” Nova cheered as she pulled Eddie’s arm.
"Roll for charisma" Eddie choked out, clearly holding back tears. 
"I'm sorry what?" Steve replied, flabbergasted, this was not part of the plan. 
"I believe he said you need to roll for charisma, we are playing after all" Dustin cackled. 
"Fine, I will roll for charisma" Steve sighed, rolling his eyes at them both. 
"Better be high or it's a no Stevie" Eddie pointed out, still teary eyed. 
Steve grabbed the D20 and rolled it, a 1 looked up at him and dread hit him all at once. Would Eddie really say no? Did Eddie not think he was being serious? How does he get out of this with an ounce of self respect left. 
"Oh baby, you should see your face. I'm sorry, I was being mean, of course I'll marry you" Eddie said, spinning Steve around and kissing him gently. 
"I hate you and I'm not doing that thing you really like for at least 2 weeks after that" Steve grumbled, kissing him back ,much to everyone's visible and audible response. 
"Congratulations guys!!" Robin shouted, rushing at them both and giving them a hug. 
Everyone else gave their congratulations and their hugs. Nova sat and played with her toys whilst the guys packed up for the evening and ate pizza. 
Eddie kept looking down at his ring, smiling to himself. Tomorrow he would go and buy one for Steve, it wasn't fair that only he got to visually display their love. 
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stevethehairington · 2 years ago
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waving down the wind 3&4? ^^
hiiiii ty for the ask!! 💕
for waving down the wind
3: What’s your favorite line of narration?
okay i'm cheating a little bit here and doing more than just A line gkfjgd i'm doing SEVERAL lines (several paragraphs, actually skdfjs but my response my rules 😂) anyways.
this is my faaaaavorite section of lines from this fic:
The sweater is soft, when he picks it up, deep red in color and cable-knit. The fabric is frayed in some places, worn in that comfortable sort of way — the way that tells him this one is a favorite. This one is loved . Eddie flattens a palm over the front, traces a fingertip down one of the thick, braided ropes there. He holds it up, rubs it against his cheek. Then buries his face into the wool and sniffs deeply. It’s not weird, he tells himself as he inhales hairspray and pine. As he inhales Steve. But then he catches sight of himself in the mirror — shirtless, dripping wet, cuddling a pretty boy’s sweater — and he laughs. What a picture he makes. Jesus. Get it together, Munson.
it's funny because this scene was actually the very first one i wrote for this fic!! there was just something about the idea of eddie having this like quiet little private moment to himself where he allows himself to indulge in the crush that he has that just hooked me and i ended up writing a whole entire fic around it lol.
i also really love the details that i added to this part. like especially with the sweater, and how it's so obvious (to all except eddie ofc lol) that steve gave him his favorite sweater to use — because of his own crush on eddie and how he a. wants to give him nothing but the safest, warmest, most comfortable options to ensure he's taken care of but also bc b. he wants to see the guy he likes wearing his favorite clothes hello!!
4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?
cheating a lil bit AGAIN bc it's not so much a line of dialogue as it is an exchange of dialogue that takes the cake as my favorite.
“Careful there, Stevie,” Eddie says, nickname slipping out unbidden. He’s never used that one with Steve before, but he likes the way it sounds. And if the glow on Steve’s face is anything to go off of, so does he. “A girl could get the wrong idea.” One of Steve’s eyebrows arches. “What kind of idea might that be?” He asks. “That you might wanna make her yours,” Eddie breathes. Steve pauses. Hesitates for the first time since they started this little back and forth. He worries at his lip. Looks between Eddie’s eyes. Searches their depths. He must like what he finds, because he steels himself and says, “Would that be so bad if I did?”
this exchange is one of my favorites of the fic because it's that charged moment right before, the one where they're both standing on the precipice, about to let themselves fall over the edge without a clue as to how it's going to go. it feels like a breath is being held, like a heart is racing, like the anticipation is just insurmountable. those kinds of moments — the build up, the tension — are some of my absolute favorites to write, they're so much fun to craft.
but also, i like the phrasing here because it's like eddie's taking that small step towards showing his hand, but he's also still holding those cards close to his chest too because he's not directly addressing it. and he's sort of still hanging onto that joking teasing defense mechanism. so in a way, when steve says "would it be so bad if i did?" it's like he's disarming eddie. he's making it real.
send me a fic title of mine and i'll answer questions
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zenaidamacrouras1 · 2 years ago
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2, 8, 19
HI! Sure, let's goooooo!
Asks from this prompt!
2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”
Yeah, in Tension and Tonic, I was going to have them get together at Thanksgiving and then Steve was like, Oh hell no, I am wayyyy to fucked for this - if we tried to get serious now, I would burn us both down in flames, you need to give me some more space to grow. Yes sir.
Then in Backhoe, I was just going to have them kiss or whatever and Steve (geez STEVE!!!!) was like "Um, I'm not comfortable with that please follow this through till our relationship is in a more stable place because there are so many ways this could go wrong" and also in Backhoe, the sisters were VERY NOISY and changed my ideas for the story quite a lot. I mean, there's five of them, I guess it makes sense they made a lot of noise?
Lastly in Monoclonius Steve (WHAT IS IT WITH STEVE) was so rude I had to write two flipping endings because he was like, "Oh hey, Imma do this dumbass thing because I have damage," and I was like, "No, please be nice to Bucky," and he was like "NOPE, can't. I have to be self sacrificing in a dumbass way that actually makes everyone sad" and fucked everything up. So I wrote that part for Steve per his instructions, and then went and re-wrote a version with a happier ending and less drama. So that fic has two actual endings.
In conclusion - I never realized till now what a troublemaker STEVE ROGERS is. I mean, I KNEW but WOW. I guess I'm writing him in character at least if he's bossing my shit around this much.
8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?
So I have two personalities about this. First I REALLY value feedback and it is the greatest gift for someone to read your work or look at something you made and tell you thoughtful things about it and point out parts that drag or are less compelling. Like with my long fics, I like hearing where people started skimming because their mind wandered. What a gift. I studied creative writing (poetry) and really valued feedback is a key part of developing any craft. In some ways I have a very thick skin and a solid sense of what I am going for usually, so criticism is easy for me to process and take what I like and ignore what's not in alignment.
That being said, I also have RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) which is a common trait with ADHD which means sometimes I take feedback irrationally hard and go into full flight or fight panic mode by someone finding a typo. For me, being perfectly honest, upping my antidepressant dose actually really helped me with this and with ruminations because I can at least tell the difference between what deserves a fight or flight response (it's not someone adding a comma) even if I can't always control when my brain decides to go into fight or flight over a suggestion to add a comma.
I also enjoy giving feedback if folks want me to give constructive criticism to their work.
19. what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?
Re: Stucky - one of my first intros into Stucky was Owlet's The Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail which I think shaped my head canons of Bucky and Steve and the rest of the Avenger more than I can even process.
Lots of other fic writers. But to be honest the first answer that came into my head was Jude Deveraux, oh my god, my friend's older sister had like 9,000 books by her and I read sooo many in Junior High and High School. Also via this magical book collecting sister came dozens of Star Trek and Star Wars books, and I think seeing those books tease out big epic stories and character development from the snippets we get in movies/tv was part of why I sought out MCU fanfiction.
I do read real books. I really like Barbara Kingsolver, she was one of the first authors I found that addressed modern rural communities in a way that I found so amazing to see written. I like Wendell Berry's poetry. I like Stephen Dobyn's poetry, and how grim but also full of hope it can be. I like folks songs, and thinking about the stories that cultures share and preserve and how the meanings change over time.
That is a random and not well thought out list that I would likely answer completely different if asked tomorrow.
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cjsinkythoughts · 4 years ago
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The Conversation
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
Word Count: 7661 (Don’t come at me - you guys asked for it)
Warnings: !FATWS Spoilers!, Cursing, Fluff, Feelings, I Dunno What Else, This One’s Pretty Chill, Except The Ending, But You’ll See When You Get There
A/N: Here it is! I was hesitant about posting it because that means we’re getting closer to the end and I’m such a nostalgic bitch! I’m definitely gonna cry next week when the last episode comes out! Anyways, I’ve got a few things to talk about:
I think this is one of the most important chapters I’ve written and I’m excited to see your reactions to it. It is longer, but you guys asked for that, so you got it! Also, I’m loving the Asks, Comments, and Reblogs. I try to respond to all of them. I have work in a little bit, so I won’t be able to until after, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Ask me anything; about my series, the show, any of the movies, personal stuff, I really don’t care. If you’re not comfortable, that’s totally fine! Every like means so much to me!
I know it’s not the end yet - we’ve got one more episode and a list of One Shots to get through - but there’s a definite feeling of this series coming to an end, and I just want to thank you all for the support and love you’ve been giving it! I’ve really enjoyed writing these characters and this story! It’s very, very special to me and I’m glad I’ve been able to share it with you lovely people!
On that note, be kind to yourselves and others! Thank you again for reading! Excuse any mistakes - this isn’t beta’d! Enjoy and stay tuned!
FATWS Masterlist
cjsinkythoughts Masterlist
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!SPOILERS UNDER CUT! (Sorry for the gifs I just love them so much and he’s so pretty and this part is technically two parts so...you get four!)
“Louisiana.” Bucky hummed, looking around the airport.
You rolled your eyes. “You’re not gonna find anything interesting about Louisiana in here, doofus. Let’s call an Uber.”
“An Ooper? What the hell is an Ooper?”
You giggled, shaking your head and grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the luggage carousel. “Uber. It’s like…a taxi service. But there’s an app on your phone to get a driver instead of waiting for one on the street.”
“Oh.” He blinked, tilting his head. “That’s…helpful.”
You laughed again, stopping in front of Carousel 3, where your flight from New York was assigned. You went back to New York to grab a bag with clean clothes and other necessities, along with taking a real shower for once. It was nice to be back in the States, as much as you loved traveling. It’d been a crazy few weeks and you were ready to just relax.
“Do you think there were any problems with Sammy’s present?”
Bucky shook his head. “Nah. Especially considering they know who we are.”
You snickered at his slight grumble. They had had…problems at the other two airports - first the one in Sokovia then JFK in New York - considering Bucky’s entire arm was metal. It’d taken a full hour before they actually let you go, and by that time they had to give you a new plane because yours had left.
“Seriously. Who else has a fucking metal arm and has 1917 listed as their birth year on their Driver’s License?” You giggled again. That was also true. They thought he was messing with them. It wasn’t until you stepped in a few minutes after they asked Bucky to step to the side, seeing Bucky get frustrated, that they realized Bucky wasn’t pulling their legs.
“Well, we’re here now and that’s all that matters.”
He nodded in agreement, watching for your bags, his hand finding yours when he realized how many people there were. “Do you know where he lives? I didn’t even think about it.”
“Yeah, don’t worry. He invited me over once. I declined, but I saved the address.”
“He…invited you over?” Bucky frowned.
You gave him a look. “I’m sure he invited you, too. You just never checked his texts.”
He licked his lips, tilting his head. “Yeah, no, I know, but I mean…why didn’t you go? Weren’t you two just talking about how you wanted to meet his nephews the other day?”
“Yeah, but I had gotten a tip on Wanda at the time and I didn’t want to miss the chance that she was there. He told me it was fine. I still felt really bad. I could tell he was a bit disappointed. I think it was one of the boys’ birthdays. Or something. I don’t remember. Is that bad? Yeah, probably. I really should remember. Maybe I should keep track of birthdays on my calendar or something.”
“Doll.” You looked up to find him giving you a magnificent smile, teeth and all. “You’re rambling.”
“Oh. Am I? Sorry. I didn’t realize.”
He shook his head quickly, squeezing your hand. “Don’t apologize. It’s cute. I’m just not used to you talking so much. You kinda did on the phone sometimes.”
You shrugged, pushing down the heat crawling up your neck at his words. “I rambled a lot to Steve.”
“Oh.”
His face fell, making you scrunch your eyebrows up in confusion, nudging him slightly to grin at him. “It’s nice to have someone to ramble to again, though.” There was that smile again. You were stopped from saying anything more when you noticed some kids pointing and chattering excitedly at a gleaming silver box coming around the corner on the conveyor belt. “There it is.”
He looked over his shoulder, dropping your hand and stepping over to grab it, lifting it effortlessly. You didn’t know what was in it or how heavy it was, but you were sure it felt like a feather to him.
“Alright. Got our bag, sweetheart?” You lifted up the duffle in answer and he jerked his head towards the doors. “Let’s get outta here, then. Call that Booper or whatever.”
“U-B-E-R! Ub-er!” You threw your hands up, following him as he started walking towards the exit. “What’s so hard about it?!”
He just gave you a little smirk over his shoulder.
***************
Bucky kept asking the Uber driver questions about his job. The guy was super nice and patient the whole time, a thick southern accent lacing his answers. Southern hospitality was no joke and apparently had no limit as Bucky asked about his experiences, listening intently and telling him his own stories of taxi drivers in NYC.
When you got to Sam’s sister’s house, Bucky, being Bucky, tipped the driver half of what you paid for the ride, thanking him for his time and energy, before getting out.
“You’re so adorable, you know that?” You teased him as you stepped up the porch stairs and knocked on the door.
He rolled his eyes, a tint of pink dusting across his cheeks. “He was nice.”
You hummed at his defense, the smile never leaving your features. After a moment, Bucky raised his fist to knock again. “Jesus Christ! Don’t fucking knock their door down!” You grabbed his wrist and lowered it.
“Sorry. I forget sometimes.” Bucky informed you absentmindedly,  tilting his head to peek in the window. “I don’t think anyone’s home.”
“They’re probably at the docks, then.”
Bucky raised an eyebrow. “The docks?”
You nodded, gesturing for him to follow you. “Yeah. They have a boat, remember? He talked about it last week.”
“Oh right. The one he’s trying to convince his sister not to sell.”
“Yeah.” You confirmed. “I’m pretty sure it’s that way. I don’t know how far, but we can call the Uber back-”
Bucky scrunched up his face and shook his head. “Nah. I don’t wanna bother him again. We can walk.”
You gave him an incredulous look. “It’s literally his job to drive people around.”
“Well, yeah, but what if he’s got other people to drive?”
You lifted his metal knuckles to your lips. “Trust me, Buck, I’m sure he’d rather drive you than anyone else.”
“Thank you?”
Swinging your now linked hands, you gave a firm nod, letting him know it was, in fact, a compliment. “You are so very welcome.”
The walk was a lot longer than you thought it was, and you ended up on Bucky’s back after he kept complaining about how you “shouldn’t be walking this long” and you were “injured” and you “needed rest’”. You’re not sure how a shoulder wound affected your ability to walk, but you relented and let him carry you the rest of the way to stop his whining.
“You forget, you did pull your thigh.”
“That was, like, three weeks ago! Yeesh!”
You finally got to the docks, which were bustling with people. Bucky set you down and raised an eyebrow which you shrugged in reply to, before heading over to where you spotted Sam with a few other older men.
“How do we get it off the truck?” You heard Sam ask, pointing to a large boat engine part in the bed of a beaten up truck. Scoffing as Bucky lifted it up without breaking a sweat, you leaned against the truck. Bucky grunted and set it down, looking at Sam.
“You’re welcome.” What a punk. “Just dropping this off.” Bucky lifted the case and set it where the engine was previously, Sam coming to stand on the opposite side of the truck as you. “You can sign for it and I’ll go.” You snorted, shaking your head, making Bucky shove your shoulder - the uninjured one - playfully. “I called in a favor from the Wakandans.”
Sam looked at you curiously. You shrugged and shook your head. “Don’t look at me, Sammy. He wouldn’t tell me what it is. He’s all hushy hushy about it until you say so.”
Before Sam could reply, there was a squeak and hissing over at the boat where steam was coming from a few pipes.
“Sam!” You knew that was Sarah from pictures Sam showed you. You stayed up by the truck, pulling yourself onto the bed while Sam tried fixing the pipe, Bucky butting in to show him how to do it properly.
“Why didn’t you use the metal arm?”
You saw Bucky lift up said metallic limb. “Well…I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m-I’m right handed.” Letting out a laugh, Bucky turned around and scowled teasingly at you. “And what’re you laughing at?!”
“Nothing!”
“Well then get your ass over here!”
You rolled your eyes, hopping down from the truck as Bucky asked if Sam wanted help with the boat. You leaned against a wooden post, grinning when Sam looked at you.
“I don’t have any plans.”
Sam gave a small smile, jerking his head back. “Yeah.”
You jumped down onto the boat to follow him, looking over your shoulder and stopping with an amused eyebrow raised as Bucky introduced himself to Sarah. “I’m Bucky.”
“Ah…Sarah.”
“Sarah.” Bucky repeated her name, before walking towards you, a grin still on his lips.
“Careful, Barnes. That playboy Steve warned me about is coming out.” You nudged him with a smirk, ignoring the feeling of your stomach dropping.
He rolled his eyes, kissing your head as he passed you and Sam to go where Sam was gesturing. “Don’t worry, Y/N. You’re still my doll.”
Sam raised an eyebrow, falling into step besides you and lowering his voice. “Conversation?”
“Hasn’t happened.” You informed him through clenched teeth as he groaned.
Sam gave you a list of chores that needed to be done to clean up the boat, giving you a quick tour and letting you know where all the tools needed where. You set to work immediately.
Sanding down, replacing old parts, cleaning, polishing and painting over the things that didn’t need replacing. They didn’t let you do any heavy lifting because of your stupid shoulder, but you were still able to help.
Sam had turned on some music for you to listen to, so you danced around the boat while cleaning. Turning your head when you felt a pair of eyes on you, you smiled when Bucky snapped his head back down to the wood he was sanding down.
“Gonna dance, Barnes?”
He looked back over, shaking his head. “Nah. I’m good watching you.”
Rolling your eyes, you got back to work, continuing to bop to the music, fully aware that he was watching you now.
A little while later, you were repainting the edges of the boat orange, when you looked over and noticed Bucky playing around with a paint scraper…sitting right on the edge that you had just finished repainting a few minutes ago.
“Buck!”
He looked over, eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”
You bit your lip, trying to hold back your mischievous grin. Shaking your head, you waved dismissively. “Never mind!”
He gave you a confused sort of pout, before shrugging and continuing to fidget with the tool. It wasn’t until later when he got up to help Sam tear the metal plating off the edge that it came to light with Sam chuckling and raising an eyebrow.
“Sit in something there, Barnes?”
“What?”
Bucky craned his neck back, eyes widening when he saw the orange paint on his ass, contrasting with his jeans. You let out a cackle and he whipped towards you, pointing at you accusingly, although the small uptick of his lips let you know he wasn’t really mad.
“Y/N!”
“No, no, no!” You laughed, sprinting across the deck, shrieking when he grabbed your waist and spun you around. You gasped when he grabbed a paint brush and painted an orange stripe right down the front of your shirt. “James!”
“Justice, sweetheart.” He breathed in your ear with a chuckle.
You shook your head, wiggling out of his hold. “This is a nice shirt!”
“You should’ve thought about that before.” He smirked, crossing his arms. Your eyes caught sight of Sam behind him, who raised an eyebrow and the bucket of paint he was holding. You nodded with a little giggle, making Bucky’s eyes narrow. “What’s so funny over there, do - holy shit!
You guffawed as orange paint dripped down his head, Sam standing innocently behind him with the now empty bucket behind his back. “Samuel!”
“Oops?”
“I’m gonna kill you!”
“Try me old man!”
“Fuck!
“Doll!”
“Oh my God!”
Paint, orange and white since those were the only cans they had out, flew across the deck, paint brushes being used like fencing swords.
You found out too late that wet paint was a little bit slippery and you slid on a huge puddle, sending you, not onto the ground below, but over the side of the edge into the water. 
“Doll!”
“Cher, you good?!” 
The three of you looked at each other, stunned for a moment, before bursting into fits of laughter and you nodded. “I’m good!”
The boys helped you get back up onto the dock, Sarah appearing with towels she conjured up out of thin air. “Let’s get you into dry clothes. Do you have-?”
“We’ve got some. We got a bag.” You told her with a grin, facing the guys. “You two should clean up some, too. Sammy, you’ve got a little something right there.” You pointed to your cheek, his own having a giant white splotch from his temple to his jaw. “And Buck?” You sniggered, gesturing to the whole of him. “You’ve got a lotta something right there.” 
“Ha. Ha.” He looked down. His top was practically tiger print, drenched in orange with white here and there, and his ass still orange as well. His hair, which had been plastered to his forehead, was starting to dry now, and it only made you laugh some more thinking about what a pain it’d be to get it out. For him, at least.
“God. Can’t even have a relaxing day on the boat with you two.” Sam jested once you finished up and joined him and Bucky, who had just finished dumping out some water buckets. Bucky had changed his shirt and it looked like they tried wiping their faces, but Sam still had small lines of white down his face. “How ‘bout a couple of drinks? Surely you can’t ruin that too.”
“Ruin?” You gasped in mock offence. “Sammy! I just made the day more…interesting.”
Sam chuckled, ruffling Bucky’s hair, which still had orange streaks in it. “Let’s go get some beers.”
************
You chatted for a bit, mainly you and Sam with you asking how Sarah and the boys were while Bucky with your legs in his lap, just listening to you two and sipping at his bottle. You had his hand in your own lap, wiping it down with a rag due to the paint that got on it.
“You’re lucky this is vibranium, you know.” You commented off handedly. “If it was your other one, it’d definitely get stained.”
“And who’s fault is that?” Bucky shot back with a teasing grin.
“Sammy’s.”
Sam spluttered. “Wh-what?! You started it!” You laughed, shaking your head.
Falling into a comfortable silence with just the water and birds chirping as your soundtrack, you downed the rest of your drink, which Bucky took as finished. “Well,” you moved your legs to let him stand up. He leaned forwards to clink his bottle against Sam’s and you stood up and stretched. “Gotta catch our flight tomorrow. Get a hotel room for the night.” Sam gave you a look to which you rolled your eyes at as Bucky set down his bottle and grabbed his jacket. “Crash, you know?”
“So you’re just gonna set me up like that, huh?”
“Well I don’t wanna make it weird for your family.”
“Just stay here.” You laughed as Sam babbled on about how nice the people were here, grabbing the jacket Bucky handed to you. It was getting a bit chilly from the breeze on the water and the sun going down. Plus, that water was cold.
“But don’t flirt with my sister.”
You cackled at Bucky’s face, that turned serious, his head shaking. “No.”
“‘Cause if you do I’ll have Carlos cut you up and feed you to the fish.”
“Can’t hold back the dog, Wilson. It’s been stuck in a kennel too long.”
Bucky turned to you, grabbing your jaw and squishing your cheeks together. “You know what? You need to shush. You’ve been snippy all day.”
You just smiled as innocently as you could with your lips being held by his metal fingers. “You’re too fun to mess with.”
He pecked your nose. “As long as I’m the only one you’re messing with. I’ll be right back.” He let you go and spun around, maneuvering around the boat in a way only a trained assassin could do.
“Oh my God, please! Please just put me out of my fucking misery! You’re killing me, cher.”
“What?” You gaped at him.
“Don’t act innocent!” Sam huffed, giving you a pointed look. “If I have to watch you two make googly eyes at you one more fucking day with neither of you doing anything about it-”
You rolled your eyes. “Oh come on, Sammy-”
“Don’t ‘come on, Sammy’ me! And don’t come at me with that ‘he doesn’t like me back’ bullshit. If you think for a second that boy wouldn’t follow you to the depths of the fucking ocean, you’re blind as a bat, woman.”
You shrugged, pushing up the sleeves of Bucky’s too big jacket. “It just…hasn’t come up.”
He deadpanned, shaking his head and standing up. “That’s it. I’m done. You two are driving me insane. I’m gonna lock you in a room until you have the conversation that needs to be had the next time either of you does something stupid.”
“Yikes. That’s gonna be quick.” At his look, your smile dropped and you nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll…I’ll bring it up later.”
“Tomorrow or nothing.”
“Sam-”
Sam tilted his head, brow creasing. “Is it still Steve? Is that what this is still about? Because he’s gone, and he’s been gone and you need to get over it-”
“No. It’s not…” You sighed. “It clicked the other day. When we were hanging out. Steve left and, yeah, I might always love him, but Bucky…God…I love Bucky, Sam.”
The man grinned proudly. “I’m glad to finally hear you admit it. So what’s the problem?”
“It’s still complicated, right? I mean…he’s his best friend and I’ve never dealt with stuff like this before and-”
Sam’s smile dropped and he groaned again. “Imma head out. I can’t take this. Dumbass and dumberass. I swear to God.” You sniggered a bit as he grumbled, walking towards the ramp to climb off the boat, just as Bucky reappeared.
“Hey-”
“Nope! Not right now, Barnes! I can’t handle it! I can’t!”
Bucky gave you a weird look. “What’d you do?”
You chuckled, shaking your head. “Nothing.”
“Well, c’mon, doll. Sarah said she’s gonna make gumbo for us, whatever that is.” He held out his hand as you walked over. 
“You’re such a city boy.” You teased lightly, taking his hand and letting him help you pull you onto the dock. You shoved the sleeves of his jackets up again since they slipped from the first time. “Let’s go get some dinner. I’m starving.”
******************
“We have the couch and a mattress we can pull out, I just have to make Sam get it from the attic-”
“That’s alright. The couch is fine.” Bucky waved dismissively while you nodded in agreement.
Sarah raised an eyebrow at you two. “For both of you?”
You blinked, exchanging a look with Bucky, before shrugging and turning back to her. “Yeah.”
“Don’t fight it, Sarah.” Sam peeked out from the hall. “They’ve got a weird relationship.” You stuck your tongue out at the man while Bucky rolled his eyes, dropping your duffle bag by the couch. “How mature, Y/N.” Sam mimicked your action.
“Uhm…okay. Let me set up the couch for you then.”
Once everything was set up, you and Bucky thanking her for dinner - delicious and you’d never seen Bucky smile so much, the boys having kept him highly entertained throughout the meal - and for letting you crash, Sam and Sarah headed to their rooms, the boys already having been tucked in for the night.
“Are you gonna sleep on the floor?” You asked quietly, sitting down on the couch and doing the things for your night routine you didn’t already do in the bathroom.
“I think I’ll be okay.” He sat besides you. “I’ve been doing fine the past week or so.”
You smiled at him. “That’s good. Alright.” You stood up and stretched. “Let me just make sure everything’s in the bag and ready-”
You yelped when his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest, shifting down to lay against the couch’s arm. “Do it in the morning.” He yawned, looking up at you tiredly. “I wanna go to sleep.”
“Then go to sleep, Buck. I’ll be right back.” He shook his head, his hold tightening as he sunk deeper into the couch.
“No. I fall asleep better with you.”
You rolled your eyes but grinned, settling down with your legs between his, your chin resting on his sternum so you could still look at him. He beamed, but you could see the exhaustion settling in, and he grabbed the blanket Sarah left over the back of the couch and draped it across your back, over both of your legs, before his arms crossed snugly under the covers at the small of your back.
“Dinner was nice tonight. I haven’t had a meal cooked like that in ages.” You hummed.
He nodded in agreement. “I think that’s the first time I’ve sat around a table with a family since the 40′s.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Did you like it?”
“Yeah...kinda makes me wish I had my own.”
“Your own what?”
“Family.”
You bit your lip, shyly avoiding his gaze. “You’re my family, Buck.”
A light kiss was pressed to your forehead, his fingers bringing your gaze back to his. “There’s no one else I’d rather have.” The room lapsed into silence again, the clock ticking on the wall, the low sound of crickets outside.
“You have really pretty eyes.” You mumbled, tilting your head slightly as you studied them. They always held so much emotion in them, especially in contrast to when you first met him as Soldat. They matched the water you fell in, and you wouldn’t mind falling over and over into them.
“Yeah, well, you’re just really pretty inside and out, so I think you’ve got me beat, doll.” He whispered back.
“You know who else is pretty? Sarah.”
He nodded with a hum. “That’s true. But I meant what I said. You’ll always be my doll.”
“So you’re not gonna ask her out?”
He gave you a weird look as you traced his sharp jawline absentmindedly. “Nah, sweetheart. It’s just…some harmless flirting. Except on Sam’s part.”
You gave a soft huff of laughter. “Yeah…he’s gonna strangle you. It is nice to see you like that, though. Flirty. Relaxed. Happy.”
“You make me happy, sweetheart.” He hummed, nosing your temple. “The road trip helped. I’m learning everything from you. Maybe not the flirting, but the carefree part.”
You blinked at him, finger stopping for a moment as you thought. “Oh…”
You felt his fingers dance up your spine, making you shiver slightly. “What I would give to know what’s goin’ on inside that pretty lil’ head’a yours, doll.”
“I just think it’s funny you’re learning how to be carefree from me…when I just started learning how to do it myself.”
“Oh yeah?”
You nodded, your finger continuing its path down his jaw. “I think it started with the goats.”
“The goats?”
You nodded again, resting your cheek on his chest, watching your finger move up from his chin. Once you got to the end of his jaw, you lightly scratched his scruff. “In Wakanda. Our goats.” You weren’t looking at him, so you didn’t see the way he physically melted at your words, his eyes going soft, his lips turning up slightly.
“Our goats, huh?”
But your tired brain wasn’t really processing what he said, instead focusing on the features your finger was now tracing - over his lips, up his nose. “You’re pretty too, Buck. Did you know that? Inside and out.”
He craned his neck to kiss your forehead. “Go to sleep, cuddle bug.”
Nodding, you nuzzled into his chest, finger feeling over the bumps and indents on the dog tags resting near your head. You tried going to sleep, but you kept shifting, your mind not shutting off.
“Hey, sleepyhead, I’m trying to, you know, sleep.”
“Sorry.” You apologized meekly. “I just…I dunno. I can’t.”
“Are you comfortable?” He peeked open and eye to look at you questioningly. You nodded. “Is it too hot? We can take the blanket off. I know I’m a walking furnace-”
You shook your head. “No. I don’t know why. I just can’t sleep.”
He licked his lips thoughtfully, before cradling your head and guiding you back down to his chest. “Lay down, sweetheart. Relax.” He stroked your hair, moving his head down to rub circles in your back muscles, pressing down harder when he felt knots. 
You hummed, your eyes closing. “That feels good.”
“Shshsh. Just go to sleep.” His lips pressed against your head once more, lingering a bit longer than they usually do, as you felt yourself drift off. You cuddled his side, throwing a leg over his waist, before nodding off, only barely hearing his words. “Attagirl. There we are.”
******************
“Doll?” You felt a shift underneath you and groaned, your eyes barely cracking open. “Hey, sleepyhead…it’s okay. I’m just gonna slip out from under ya, alright? Gonna go help Sammy with somethin’.”
You raised an eyebrow, letting him move you against the cushions as he sat up on the edge of the couch. “Sammy?”
“Yeah.” He bent over and kissed your cheek. You stretched out your limbs, about to rub your eyes, when he stopped you, kissing the inside of your wrists. “No. Not you, doll. Go back to sleep.” 
“Bu’...’m gonna help.” You slurred out, looking at him with confused, squinty eyes.
He chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s okay. Rest. You can help when you wake up again. Okay?” You mumbled out an “okay”, bringing the covers up to your chin and snuggling deeper into the cushions. “There ya go, cuddle bug. Good girl.” There was another kiss, one to your temple this time, before you slipped back into unconsciousness.
******************
The next time you woke up was because of a clatter in the kitchen. You yawned and sat up, stretching, eyebrows furrowing when you realized Bucky wasn’t with you. It took you a moment to remember your conversation, which you half thought you dreamt.
“Boys!”
“Sorry!”
You chuckled at the shouts, rubbing your eyes. “I am so sorry!” Sarah apologized, looking over at you from the stove. Trying to make the boys breakfast before school. Do you want anything? Eggs? Cereal? Toast?”
“Uh, cereal’s fine.” You stretched out your back again, before throwing back the covers and standing up, a little shakily.
“You wouldn’t happen to know where Sam went, would you?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Uh, I think him and Bucky went to fix something on the boat. I don’t for sure, though.”
Sarah groaned. “He probably went to fix the stupid water pump which doens’t need fixing. Dumbass.”
You chuckled, padding over into the kitchen. “Yeah. I just work with him. I can’t imagine growing up with him.”
“Trust me; some days you want to throw him in a box and send him out to sea. Bowls are in that cupboard.”
You snickered, moving over to grab a bowl from the cupboard she pointed to. “That’s how I feel with Bucky. Sam is less often, but when those two get together…it’s a full zoo.”
She laughed at that, nodding as she got out the milk and a few boxes of cereal for you to choose from, handing you a spoon. “That I believe.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course.”
You started pouring your cereal, watching in slight amusement as she got the boys ready for school. “Bus is here! Get out the door! Bye! Love you! Make sure you take those extra lunches to-!”
“Yeah, mom! We know! Love you too!”
You gave a slight smirk as she huffed, looking around the kitchen at the pans and dishes left out. “Kids, huh?”
She gave you a smile. “Yeah. They’re a handful, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. How about you? Any thoughts of kids?”
“Me?” Your eyes widened, nearly choking on your food. “Oh God no. Not right now, at least. I don’t even have a solid house right now. My life’s too off the walls for that.”
“And Bucky?”
You raised an eyebrow as she leaned on the counter. “Bucky? What about Bucky?”
“Does he want kids?”
“Uh…I dunno.” You shrugged, clearing your throat as you remembered your talk last night. “Kinda makes me wish I had my own.” You quickly pushed his words aside. “He hasn’t told me.”
“Wait, wait. You two…aren’t together then?”
You blinked, your eyes widening again. “Together? Me and Bucky? No…why? Did Sam say something?”
Her expression morphed into one of disbelief, crossing her arms. “Sam didn’t say anything. You guys did. Are you seriously expecting me to believe you aren’t together?”
“We’re not! I mean - he was flirting with you yesterday-”
“Right, okay. Honey, that’s flirting. And it’s harmless. The way he follows you like a puppy and you look at him like he hung the stars? That’s feelings. And that’s a lot more impactful than flirting.”
You frowned in contemplation. It was really that obvious? You were really that blind? This whole time? You knew Sam knew - but you just figured that’s because he’s been there since it started. And Sharon knew for the same reason. But Sarah? The woman you just met the day prior and had barely had a conversation with?
“It’s, uh…” You chewed on your cheek, swirling your cereal around. “It’s complicated.”
Sarah didn’t look impressed. “Do you like him?”
“I’m kinda in love with him-”
She shrugged, not letting you finish your bashful statement. “Then I don’t see what’s complicated about it.”
And that was that. She turned to clean up breakfast, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
You thought it was more complicated than that. I mean…you were in love with your best friend. Who left you. With the guy you had feelings for who just so happened to be your best friend/crush’s best friend. And now you were completely in love with your best friend’s best friend, but your best friend still had a piece of your heart.
But…you loved Bucky. And he was here. And Steve was not. And when you put it that way…you guess it wasn’t so complicated after all.
******************
You snickered as you walked up behind Sarah, the woman berating the men for not leaving the water pump along like she asked.
“Hi, Sarah.”
Sam shot Bucky a warning look, who grinned, but you were surprised to see Sarah ignore him, sending you a knowing glance instead, before turning back to Sam. “I told you specifically that the water pump was not the problem, and yet, here you are.”
“Yep, Samuel.”
You chuckled, Bucky shooting you a wink. “Yeah, Samuel.”
Sam narrowed his eyes at you, turning to Sarah. “In our defense, you were supposed to be done long before you woke up.”
You nearly facepalmed at his “defensive” and you were trying so hard to hold back laughing as she told Sam off, sending them away.
“I don’t wanna hear a peep from you.” Sam pointed at you, but that only made your chortles come out, and you didn’t even bother hiding them. “She’s a very mean person.”
“It’s tough love.”
You giggled as they started arguing, slipping an arm around their waists, their arms instinctually coming up to your shoulders.
“Oh my God. A prowess?”
“Yes, Y/N. A prowess.”
“You know, maybe if you someone let me help-”
“Hey, woah! You were tired! I let you sleep! I was being nice!”
“Too late now. I’ll be lucky if Sarah lets me within a hundred feet of it!”
“She got you so good, Sammy!”
“I agree with Buck for once! You’re too snippy right now! And c’mon man! Stop flirting with my sister!”
“It’s my natural charm.”
“Charm? What charm?”
“Ouch, doll! That one hurt!”
****************
“Okay.” You stepped out of the bathroom, walking over to the couch and setting the bag down on it. “I’ve got everything packed. We’ve got a little over an hour until we need to head out which gives you two time to go set something up for Sammy and maybe even a bit or training before we leave.” 
Bucky frowned. “You’re not gonna come out?”
“I will in a bit. I just got a phone call I need to take.”
Sam narrowed his eyes. “Government call?”
You gave a mocking smile. “Can you guess what they want to talk about? It’s okay. I’ll survive. It’s only a phone call, so I can always hang up. Pretend I didn’t have good service. I do it all the time.”
“I’m sure you do.” Sam chuckled. “In that case, I’m gonna go grab some stuff and get the shield.” As he walked out, he made sure to mouth at you behind Bucky’s back ‘conversation’ making you swallow thickly. You were planning on talking to Bucky anyways, and with Sam’s insistence…
“Okay, so, I was thinking when we get back-”
“Can I talk to you?”
Bucky stopped digging through the bag, blinking at you in surprise at your sudden burst. “Uh…well, we already are, so yes.” He chuckled, straightening and crossing his arms.
“I wanna have the conversation.”
He was left stunned, once again, his mouth opening and closing and his weight shifting form one foot to the other. “Like…that conversation? R-right now? Are you sure?”
You winced at her nervousness. “Sorry, sorry. I know it’s kinda…I just…I need to talk about it. Now.”
“Okay, okay. No, that’s fine. Don’t apologize. I just wasn’t expecting it.” Bucky cleared his throat. “That’s all.”
“Okay…” You breathed with a small nod. You opened your mouth, but Bucky shook his head.
“I hafta say this first; I didn’t mean to hurt you by telling you about Steve. I-I dunno what I thought. That it’d give you closure or something. I dunno. But it hurt you and I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention.”
“Buck-”
“I was jealous. And guilty. And mad. And upset. I still am. Kinda. I guess. I dunno.” Bucky shook his head, running his hand through his hair and all you could do was gape at him as he started confessing to you. “Remember when we danced? In Madripoor? Doll…I don’t wanna dance ever again if it’s not with you. I fucking love you, Y/N. And not in the way we’ve said it before. I’m in love with you. I have been for-for a while now. I just - you were Steve’s. Steve loved you and you loved Steve and that was that and I was just the broken childhood best friend. But Steve left and he told me to take care of you and I didn’t know what to do with that, because you still love Steve. I think. I dunno. And I didn’t want to break what we have because you’re all I have left of him. You and that stupid shield. You’re my family. My home. I really meant it when I told you that. And that’s why I couldn’t tell you. Because it means too much for me to break what we have because I fell in love with my best friend’s girl. You know?”
He looked at you with pleading eyes, begging you to understand, but your brain was still trying to process what he was telling you.
“Oh God…” He groaned. “And now I just told you everything and you’re looking at me like that wasn’t what you wanted to hear and now I’m thinking this wasn’t the conversation you were thinking it was going to be-”
You were moving across the room before you could stop yourself, pulling him by the teal Henley you knew was comfortable having worn it to bed before when you visited him in New York, and slanting your lips over his.
His breathing hitched and he froze, and for a hot second you thought you made everything worse, but then he was kissing you back and his hands were on your hips and he was pulling you closer and it felt so fucking good you didn’t want to pull back for air.
“Shut up.” You muttered when you finally did pull back, your forehead against his, your eyes clenched shut. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.” You pulled back to look up at him, chests heaving against each other, your eyes prickling. “I’m not good at this. I’m not good at opening up. I only ever was good at it with Steve but Bucky…I’ve been doing it with you. This whole time and I didn’t even realize it until the conversation in the car.”
He reached up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the relieved tears that were falling from the weight you were finally getting off your chest.
“I love you. I’m in love with you. How could I not be? After all that time in Wakanda? I was never Steve’s girl, Bucky. I wanted to be. Dammit, did I wanna be, but I wasn’t. Not really. And he’s gone. But you’re not. And I don’t know why it took me so long to see that. That you’re the one in front of me. You’re the one who held me when I needed it once he left. You’re the one that would listen to my rambles that I’m just realizing was most of our phone calls. You’re not just the broken childhood friend. Don’t ever think that. I don’t pick up the phone at five in the morning after searching for a friend until two for just anyone. Even Steve’s best friend. And I’m such an idiot because I’ve been pushing away my feelings all these years for Steve and then I let them out with you at the wrong time, because I love Steve, Bucky, but I’m not in love with him. Not since I fell in love with you. And I know it doesn’t make sense, but Steve was the first one I cared about and that’s just how I feel and I can try to explain, but-”
His lips crashed onto yours again and you could taste the salty tears that were pouring down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. He was holding you and he was kissing you and it was even more perfect than you thought it’d be.
“You’re adorable when you ramble, but Jesus Christ, shuddup, doll.” He breathed. “Just tell me you love me. Tell me you love me just a fraction of how much I love you.”
You looked up into those ocean eyes, your own shining with earnest affection. “James Buchanan Barnes. I love you.”
“That’s all I need to know.” He murmured against your lips, holding your head against his, still wiping away your tears. It felt like with each one that fell, you felt lighter and lighter. Like they were taking away every fear and anxiety you held within you for the past six months.
“Alright! I was thinking we could just set up in these trees out here - holy shit! Is it done? Did you do it? Did I miss it? Has the conversation been had?”
Bucky chuckled as you giggled. “He has the worst timing.” The last two words were loud enough so Sam could hear, although the man heard the whole sentence. 
“I’m gonna take that as a yes!” Sam cheered. “Halle-fucking-lujah! Finally! I was that close to locking you two in the attic.”
You shook your head at Sam’s personal celebration, drowning the rest of his words out as you looked at Bucky, who swept his thumb over your cheek catching one last tear, before pecking your lips.
“I finally get to kiss where I really want to.” He spoke softly, kissing your lips again. “Are you mine, doll?”
“I thought you said I’d always be your doll.” You answered cheekily. He grinned, kissing you again, pulling you against him by the hips.
“Okay, okay! That’s enough! We get it! You’re in love, finally, but I don’t wanna see it anymore! Now will you come help me with this shit?”
Bucky left one more lingering kiss on your lips, before you pushed him away reluctantly. “I’ll be right out.”
He nodded, moving over to help Sam carry the things he’d gathered.
You watched them put it all up from the window, gnawing on your cheek as you spun your phone in your hands. Coming to a decision, you tossed your phone in the duffle bag and walked out with it just as the boys finished.
“That was a quick phone call.” Sam raised an eyebrow.
You shrugged. “Didn’t call them. If they really need me, they’ll find me.”
Bucky grinned as you set the bag down under a tree, pecking your lips when you got close enough for him to grab by the waist to hold you against him. You rolled your eyes, shoving him playfully away and giggling as Sam let out a groan.
“Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got, Sammy.”
~
><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
Bucky knew he needed the tough love talk Sam was giving him. He needed to hear it. Because, deep down, he had known it all along, he just refused to believe it. He tried doing it. Making amends. He knew he wasn’t though. And of course he knew immediately who that one person would be.
“And hey.” Bucky looked at him. “Let me tell you what. Telling my girl all that you told her? That’s a good start. I’m proud of you. Both of you. You’re already happier. I can see it in your eyes.”
Bucky chuckled, shaking his head as he thought of the gorgeous woman he nearly let slip through his fingers. He looked over to the house, where she was inside somewhere getting ready after suddenly deciding she needed to shower before they left. “I was stupid.”
“Yeah you were. You both were. I’m so relieved it’s over.” Sam nudged him. “Treat her right, Buck. She deserves it.”
“I know…I just hope I can.”
Sam shook his head. “Uh-uh. Don’t do that. You were just starting to use that cyborg brain of yours! She chose you. And before you say anything,” Sam cut Bucky off from speaking as he opened his mouth to object. “She chose you before Steve left. It just took her dumbass this long to realize it.”
Bucky nodded, a small smile on his face. “Yeah…okay…” Before he could say anything, the goddess herself stepped out, jogging over, looking absolutely amazing in her jeans and his t-shirt. “Good talk.”
Sam laughed at his quick ending of the conversation as she came up besides them. “Talking about me?” She asked cheekily, eyes shining. Bucky couldn’t help but take her under his arm, pecking her lips. Now that he could, he didn’t think he could stop. He was addicted to say the least.
Throwing Bucky a wink, Sam shrugged. “Just all the things that get on our nerves.”
“Ha ha.” She rolled her eyes. “We better get going.”
Bucky and Sam clapped hands. “You know Karli won’t quit.”
Bucky smiled. “Ah. You call us when you have a lead and we’ll be there.”
Y/N stepped forwards to give Sam a hug. “Anytime, Sammy.”
“Eh. Anytime between noon and midnight.” Bucky corrected. “Or noon and ten. Noon and five…you better just call at noon to be safe.”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure.”
“Not necessarily as a team.” Bucky continued, grabbing the bag, getting Y/N back in her spot at his side under his arm.
“Nope!”
“We’re not that good.”
“Definitely not.”
“We’re professionals.”
“Definitely.”
“And, uh, we’re partners.”
Sam snapped, pointing at him. “Coworkers.”
“But we’re also a couple of guys with a couple mutual friends.”
“Ones now gone and you’re dating the other.”
“So we’re a couple of guys…with a badass to help out.”
“I can live with that.”
“Perfect.”
“Oh my God.” Y/N let out that laugh Bucky could never get enough of, shaking her head at the two of them. “You forgot dumbasses.”
Sam shook his head. “Nuh-uh. That’s your couple name.”
“Dumbasses?”
“Oh yeah.” The three of them came to a stop, Bucky and his girl - God he loved confirming it now - facing Sam. “Thanks for the help, guys. Meant a lot.”
Bucky patted his shoulder. “Of course.”
Y/N shot him a wink. “Until we meet again, Sammy.”
“Until then, cher.”
Bucky couldn’t stop his grin as she wrapped her arms around his waist, the two of them starting to walk to the main road where she already ordered an Uber. He looked down at her, kissing her lips for the nth time in the past hour.
“I wish I didn’t wait so long,” he told her seriously. “But I’d wait a thousands more centuries if it meant I get to call you mine.”
She giggled, shaking her head. “You’re such a sap! But…” she moved up to kiss him and his heart stuttered. He knew he had a goofy grin on when she pulled back, but he couldn’t help it. Especially when she laughed again. “I have to agree with you on that, Buckaroo.”
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shurisneakers · 4 years ago
Text
harmless (i)
Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)
Warnings: cursing, nonsense writing
Word count: 1.5k 
A/N: listen i just needed something to keep my mind busy and a perry the platypus!bucky and dr. doofenshmirtz!reader was the only thing i could think of. dont have any high expectations from this series, you will be sorely disappointed.
If you have any ideas for this series, lemme know!! it’d be cute to write!!
here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333
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Series Masterlist
Bucky Barnes, for all intents and purposes, is edgy. 
His SHIELD salary is definitely enough to afford him a simple beanie, gloves even if he’s that eager. His long hair, though a spectacle in itself, isn’t as good at keeping away the cold as he claims it to be. 
It’s a personal choice, a fashion statement even, to be roaming the streets in a long flimsy t-shirt that does nothing to accentuate his broad shoulders, and tactical pants that look a little too comfortable. 
It’s cold. He says he likes it, to appease his blond haired best friend who insisted that he wear a cardigan at least. He won’t like it in a while, but he would never admit it.
The bike ride to the other side of town for a minor mission takes longer than he expected. The wind rushing by gets his adrenaline racing. 
Official missions are long and gruelling, and oftentimes not fun. But it gives him a purpose.
It’s easy, therefore, to find him brooding when he’s not on one. 
No one wants their room to be on the receiving end of Bucky’s stress-cleaning sessions. His baking is more appreciated.
So when there’s news of a small time villain creating havoc again, it made sense that he volunteered to go sort it out. No one else wanted the job. They’d all been at it before. 
SHIELD didn’t seem particularly bothered either. 
“It’s not that serious, Barnes.”
“I’m going.”
“Just stop her from doing whatever dumb plan she has today. She seems to have a new one every week.”
“Can I-”
“This is not an assassination mission.”
“Fine. Can I-”
“No.”
“Fine.”
He didn’t know what to expect. He had an idea of how they should be. Smaller villains tended to be more aggressive, vicious to prove their point. They were here to stay.
He wears his regular gear. Enough knives to make a butcher look away in shame, and guns including, but not limited to, his biceps.
He finally pulls the bike to a stop a few metres away, leaving it out of reach in case things got too out of hand. He didn’t want to have to walk back to the Tower, and his friends, as much as they loved him, would never go out of their way to pick him up. Little shits. 
The address is a dingy, plain concrete house near an old construction site. It was flat and felt more like an afterthought than an actual building. It looked more like an abandoned Walmart than an actual villain lair. 
The only entrance is the door in the front. He counts to three, lifting his leg to kick it down.
It falls down ungracefully, loud and creaky like it was bound to the doorframe by rust. 
The only light source inside is a green light. All the way at the other end on an elevated platform is a desk and a chair facing away from him. He can’t see much other than that.
Someone’s laughter comes back loud and booming. He raises his gun, feet apart in a defensive stance. 
“I’ve been expecti-” the voice pauses mid-sentence- “Did you just kick down my door?”
He looks behind him to where the wooden piece is on the floor. He certainly did.
He can finally see you as you stand up, green light illuminating your face. You reach over to the side, pressing a few switches. 
He squints when all the lights turn on, pulling the both of you from darkness. 
“Dude!” you cry out, face twisting into what only could be described as a mix of horror and disdain. “What’d you do that for?”
He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t lower his gun either.
“You’re an Avenger, just fuckin’ pick the lock or something. This is expensive!” 
He only watches as you whine, looking beyond him at your now demolished entrance. You take a few steps closer, jumping down from the elevated platform.
“Insurance isn’t going to cover this.” You drag your palm across your fist before extending it towards him. “Pay up.”
He wasn’t sure if he heard you right.
“What?” he finally asked, voice gruff.
“All you superheroes go around, destroying walls and cars in the name of world peace like you own the damn thing. Not today, bitch boy. Pay up.”
He doesn’t have his wallet with him. He didn’t expect to need it.
“I’m supposed to be stopping you.” 
“You can do that once you pay for my door.” 
You sound resolute, unshaken. A little annoyed. There’s what appears to be a gun in your hand, although it’s unlike any weapon he’s seen before.
“What’s your plan?” Bucky looks at your hand. Your stare follows his. You lift the thing up and he tenses.
“I was going to freeze some jerk but now my plan is to get you cancelled on Twitter.” 
“Why?” his eyebrows knit together in confusion.
“Local superhero destroys property of tax paying citizen for no good reason.”
“I mean-” he shakes his head, discarding what you’re saying, “-why were you going to freeze someone?”
“Because I wanted to. But you’ve ruined the mood now, so that won’t happen.”
He blinks, lowering his weapon when he realises you weren’t making any attempt to move. “What’s your ulterior motive?”
“Nothing! I just wanted to mildly inconvenience that stupid fuck for being such a prick.”
He doesn’t know what to say. 
“Is that the freeze ray?” Bucky asks instead, raising his gun when he realises there’s a very real chance he could end up like his best friend. 
“You got a problem with it?” You hold it up carelessly. 
“I can’t let you use that.”
“That’s all you’re going to do?” you huff, “Is this what you call an intervention? This is so boring.”
“Give me the freeze ray and no one has to get hurt.” 
“No one was going to get hurt in the first place, genius. All this does is slow him down for 5 minutes so he misses the subway.”
There’s nothing technically that evil about what you’re doing. He doesn’t even know how you ended up on SHIELD’s radar. He gets why no one was particularly driven to take this seriously.
“And for fuck’s sake put that gun away. You’re not scaring me.” 
He doesn’t oblige, even though something tugs at him, telling him that you’re speaking the truth. 
“Here, take the stupid thing.” You don’t bother waiting for his response, bending over and sliding the gun towards his feet. “I’ll find another way to get back at that dickhead.”
It hits his boot with a small thud. He looks down. Its design is ridiculously comical, like you ripped it straight out of a kid’s TV show. 
“Next time, bring some drama. Wear a cape or something.” You wave him off. “Now get out of my lair. I need to fix the door.”
“You don’t have another one of these lying around, do you?”
“Why, do your friends want one too?” The glare you give him is dangerous. He doesn’t react to it. “No, it’s limited edition. I don’t build the same thing twice.”
“You have others?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?” A smile grows on your face, dropping as quickly as it arrives. “SHIELD will tell you if I do. Now leave.”
Bucky looks at the freeze ray in his hand. He supposes his job is done. He was told to stop you, but you didn’t seem to have any inclination to go on with your plan.
“You can ask them if you want, they know about me.” You roll your eyes. “Go ahead, call them.”
He doesn’t want to take a chance. As odd as the situation is, it’s still novel and he isn’t quite sure how to deal with it.
He tucks your weapon under his arm, pressing his phone to his ear.
“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?” Maria’s voice is crisp as ever.
“I confiscated a... freeze ray.” He feels ridiculous even saying it. “But I’m going to bring her in to SHIELD headquarter-”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“But we can’t trust-”
“We’ve been keeping tabs on her for a while. She’s more or less harmless. You can take the rest of the night off, Sergeant.”
He cuts the call, not entirely at ease with the smug, expectant look on your face. 
Still, he couldn’t disobey direct orders.
“I’m gonna... go.” He mentions towards the gaping hole in the wall.
“That would be ideal, yes.” You nod, crossing your arm over your chest.
“Okay.” He hesitates, but finally takes a step backwards. He peeks over his shoulder as he leaves, but finds you swivelled away from him again. 
He steps back outside. The cold greets him again like an old friend. The weight of his weapons feels stupidly embarrassing now. 
It’s a long drive back to the Tower. He keeps replaying the entire story in his mind. He’s unsure of whether he made the right call, but no one else really seemed to care. 
He had seen weirder things. It came with the gig.
He leaves it at that.
“How’d it go?” Steve asks him when he walks into the living room.
“T’was fine,” he answers, toying with the stupid device he took from you. Maybe he would test it on Clint. He had been getting annoying lately. Breathing too much in Bucky’s general direction.
A part of him feels guilty for his carelessness towards your building. The other part is just bewildered. 
That night he looks up the cost it takes to replace a door, making a mental note to draw some money from the ATM soon.
Next part
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dollslayer · 3 years ago
Text
Charity Case
Bucky Barnes x Reader, College AU, enemies to lovers
Summary: You loathe Bucky Barnes and his cocky attitude but you find yourself doing him a favor. Is he really as insufferable as he seems?
W/C: 3,830
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, uhhh kissing, that's it!
A/N: Here it is! My entry for @sweeterthanthis Quote Me On It 6k challenge!! My quote was "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?" (in bold). I love the Heathers so I'm excited!! Hopefully I did this prompt justice. As always, if you liked it please reblog/comment! Cheers! I do not consent to my work being reposted/translated on any platform.
Main Masterlist
____
Steve was running late again. You try not to chew your nails off in frustration but he’s definitely testing you. This is the third time in the last two weeks that he’s late to meet you. When he hasn’t been late he’s cancelled all together. Always with a half-ass apology of ‘Bucky needs me’. As if.
You’ve been friends with Steve since your freshman year creative writing class when the only open seat was next to him. Ever since that first day you two had been close. But not as close as him and Bucky. Childhood friends attending university together, thicker than thieves.
You always felt like Bucky was maybe a little jealous of the friendship you and Steve have. Maybe you’re a little jealous too but you’re almost positive Bucky is more jealous of you than you are of him but that’s beside the point. On top of his jealousy Bucky was just annoying. He had a girlfriend but he was always flirting with every girl he met, yourself included. Not to mention he was cocky as all hell.
Steve vouches for his character, swears that it’s all an act and he’s actually very sensitive underneath but you don’t buy it for a second. If you were his girlfriend you’d have dumped him a long time ago.
You don’t have time to dwell on your annoyance too much because Steve is rushing through the doors of the coffee shop. He looks around for you and when he finally finds you the look on his face is relieved. As he gets closer it’s clear that he’d been running to get to you in time. He’s sweaty and a little out of breath and if you weren’t so annoyed with him you’d have found it endearing that he ran here.
“There you are,” he huffs out, “I’m so sorry, I was with Bucky and I lost track of time.”
You purse your lips and hand him a napkin which he takes with a gracious nod before wiping the sweat from his brow. You hand him the iced coffee you’d ordered for him too. The ice is slightly melted from sitting there but he looks so refreshed to be drinking it.
“Figures” is all you say with a huff. If he hadn’t been doing it so often you would’ve been a little kinder about it but you were just irked.
“Seriously, I’m sorry. Nat just dumped him, he's been having a hard time” Steve explained.
“Is it because he flirts with anything that moves?” You scoff.
Steve scoffs in return “He does not! He’s just… outgoing. But no, they had their own problems.” You raise one eyebrow at him. “Okay the flirting had something to do with it but there’s a lot going on there.”
“Whatever, let’s just study for this exam while we can”.
____
You and Steve spent the next two hours cramming for your midterm together. Things were going well and you’d nearly forgotten that you were mad at Steve in the first place. Nearly.
You were so deep into your notecards that you didn’t hear the door open behind you. A voice that could grate on only your nerves. A voice that if it didn’t belong to such a bastard, might even be kinda sexy. The voice breaks your focus completely when it calls out.
“Hey, Steve, are you done already or what? Oh hey, what’s up, beautiful?”
You set your notecards down on the table maybe a little harder than you should. You shoot Steve a glare because you thought it would just be the two of you. Really? You cut in before Steve can answer his friend.
“No, Bucky, he’s not. Can we help you?”
He smirks, giving you his full attention. He knows he has you now, knows you took the bait and he’s goaded you to the point of backtalk. He pulls up a chair to the table and wedges himself tightly between you and Steve. The sound of the chair legs scraping the floor as he scoots closer to you rings in your ears and makes you cringe. You look at Steve again only to find him avoiding your gaze.
“Well, sweetheart, me and Stevie boy here have plans later. Gonna do some gaming and order a pizza, really embracing the bachelor lifestyle.” He raised his eyebrows at this and you just rolled your eyes.
“Yeah, I heard Nat dumped your ass, actually, is that true?” You asked with a fake sweetness.
“Why, you interested?” He rebuffed.
You bristled at his quick response and muttered your annoyance under your breath. You chose not to respond. Instead you decided to address Steve.
“Steve, I didn’t realize that you had plans”
“Oh… yeah, loose plans…” He answered distractedly while pretending to be reading a text on his phone.
You decide to call it a day. You were getting seriously fed up with Steve’s passive behavior in all of this. Thankfully you didn’t have much to pack up, so once you slung your backpack over your shoulder you looked up at the pair to bid them goodnight.
“Well, Steve, this was… enlightening. Bucky, eat it. Goodnight fellas, have fun with your ‘bachelor lifestyle’” You said with air quotes. Turning on your heel you left before either could respond.
____
You had left the coffee shop that evening pretty upset with Steve. Of course it’s fine for him to have other friends but lately it was like he only cared about Bucky and all of your plans took a backseat to theirs. You decided you weren’t going to be the one to text Steve first, since he was being a bad friend. He could be the one to initiate plans.
He did just that when he caught you in the hallway after your midterm a week later. He jogged up to you once again and tugged on your sleeve to get you to stop.
“Hey, how do you think you did? Bet those notecards paid off, right?” He half-joked. He looked sheepish. Nervous almost. You figured it was because of what happened last time you met.
“Yeah, Jesus Christ! I’ve never been so grateful for little pieces of paper.” You scoffed. You decided to keep it light between you. You were still upset with him but his tone leads you to believe he was gonna apologize.
“Right?” He laughs nervously, “So listen, I know I’ve been kind of a jerk lately… Maybe we could get something to eat at Nick’s?”
Nick’s was the local greasy spoon on campus and they had the best breakfast food you’d ever had. You eyed him suspiciously but accepted.
“Alright, but you’re buying. And there better not be any visitors!” You add as you bound down the hall ahead of him. He knows you mean Bucky and he’s not worried because Bucky won’t be showing up today. He’s more nervous about what he has to ask you.
____
You’re sipping on pop as you play with your straw wrapper. You look up at Steve and notice he’s fidgeting a lot more than usual.
“What’s up? Why are you so twitchy?” You question him.
“Me? I’m not twitchy! I was just thinking that’s all” He quickly defends himself.
“Well that was the last midterm of the semester for both of us, I think it’s safe to say you can relax.”
“Yeah, guess you’re right.” Steve concedes quietly.
You and Steve eat in near silence, neither of you mind though because it’s comfortable. You worked on your hashbrowns when you looked up and noticed that Steve had barely touched his food. He was still fidgety, he looked nervous.
“Hey, you’ve hardly eaten anything, what’s the matter?”
He looks a little embarrassed, like he’s been caught. Or like he’s about to come clean about something.
“Look, I wanted to say sorry I know I haven’t been the best friend lately with everything going on with Bucky. He really is having a hard time since the breakup y’know… he’s lonely”
“Right” You laughed, “I’m sure he’s soo lonely.” You rolled your eyes and picked up your fork.
“No really, he just needed a friend to be there. I think he does need to get back out there though.”
“With how smooth he thinks he is, I'm sure he’ll have a date by the end of the night. I wouldn’t worry about it, Stevie.” You responded.
“I’m serious! As much of a player as he comes off he needs to be with someone he already knows. He’s actually really sensitive.” You interrupted with another laugh. There were many choice words you’d use to describe Bucky Barnes but ‘sensitive’ is not one of them.
“But anyway, I was...kinda hoping you’d do me a favor…” Steve trails off.
Based on the conversation you just had you’re cautious. You eye him warily but motion for him to continue.
“Well, like I said Buck’s having a hard time and he needs to get back out there but he doesn’t feel comfortable hooking up with a stranger. I was thinking maybe.. You guys should hang out?”
Steve refused to look at you as he finished the question. The look on your face was a look of confusion and shock.
“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?” you asked in disbelief. “I mean seriously, I’m nice but not that nice.”
“Look-”
“No!” You cut him off, “You know I can’t stand that prick. Also why would I want to put myself on the long list of women he’s probably tried to fuck? I don’t buy this whole ‘sensitive’ thing for a minute.”
“I’m serious, Nat kinda crushed his heart when she left. He acts cocky but it’s a front. I just think he needs to see someone to get it out of his system. You’ve got more in common than you think. Just hang out with him once. Don’t think of it like a date, just a really really big favor. Please?” Steve begged.
You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. “You. Owe. Me. So. Much”
“Really?” He asked hopefully.
“Really. But I’m not gonna bang him. Hard no on that” you said.
“Yeah, yeah of course! No problem! I’ll give Bucky your number!” He reached across the table and grabbed your hand. His hands were kidna clammy but you let him.
“Seriously, thank you. I know you think he’s some jerk but I promise he’s a good guy.” Steve adds, “A-and don’t think of it as like a date, even, y'know? I think honestly he could just use another friend. Think of how good it could be if we could all hang together some time?”
You shook your head and chuckled at his optimism while you stabbed another bite of your meal.
____
‘What’s up, sweetface?’ Gross.
‘Okay, sorry. Hi, how are you?’ Better.
‘I’m alright, you?’
‘Good. Steve tells me you’re a huge trivia nerd. Wanna go to Sally’s tn?’
‘It’s a date’ Shit. Didn’t mean to say that. Fuck. Quick- say something that will deflect before he responds!
‘And since it’s a date you’re paying’ That’ll have to do.
‘Ugh fine. Here’s hoping you’re a cheap date at least. I’ll meet you there at 9’
____
What do you wear for a date with someone that you despise? It’s just bar trivia so it’s nothing special but somehow the jeans and flannel you’ve been wearing all day don’t feel like they make the cut. You rip your closet apart trying to find something before you settle on black skinny jeans and your favorite sweater with some boots. Casual but not too casual.
You spend the whole walk there dreading the night ahead of you. Knowing that you wouldn’t even have Steve as a buffer between you made the whole evening seem daunting. At least you had trivia to distract you. You decide to give Bucky the benefit of the doubt tonight for Steve’s sake. You try to remember Steve’s insistence that Bucky’s a good guy and you have a lot in common. We’ll see about that.
When you arrive at the bar you find Bucky already waiting for you at a high-top table with two PBRs and a shot of brown liquid. Please don’t let that be whiskey. He sees you coming and smiles that damn-his-good-looks smile at you while patting the open chair next to him. The closer you get you even see that he got the whiteboard already for trivia.
“Please tell me that’s not Jameson or Fireball” you greet him.
He laughs a little and shakes his head. “Better - it’s Jack. Sorry, doll, but I already opened the tab. This is what we’re drinking” He nudges one of the shots closer to you and motions for you to pick it up. “Come on, we gotta start the night off right, bottoms up!”
Before you can gag at the thought of drinking whiskey you grab the glass and face him. You both knock your shots on the table before clinking them together and swallowing them in one go. You grimace at the taste and feel the warmth flow all the way down your throat. You quickly take a sip of your beer to rid yourself of the taste.
“Aww, you’re cute when you’re grossed out.” Bucky coos at you.
You’re embarrassed and annoyed but it goes away quickly.
“Shut up, Barnes”
You give him a light shove and he pretends like he’s about to fall off his stool, making you laugh. For someone that’s only ever annoyed you he’s doing a pretty bang-up job of being likeable when it’s just the two of you.
“You ready for me to carry you through some trivia?” You joked.
“Hey, now! I know...stuff” he concluded.
“Mmhmmm, I’m sure you do. Don’t worry, I’ll answer the questions and you just sit there and look pretty” you reach over to pat his face lightly with a wink.
Bucky grumbles before taking another sip of his beer.
You settle in for a long night when the host announces the first round is starting.
____
You managed to steal the first round without breaking a sweat, second round was a little rocky until it came down to you and one other couple. You knew the third round would be tricky but the way Bucky was cheering you on you were determined. To no one’s surprise Bucky had been completely useless so far but to his credit he was trying. At least he was a supportive teammate.
Things were going well until the third round was announced: Old School Videogames. You didn’t know shit about old school videogames. Or regular videogames. The extent of your video game knowledge started and ended with Mario Kart.
When the third round was announced though Bucky hit the table in excitement and cheered.
“Woo! Fuck yeah!” He pats you on the shoulder, “I got this, don’t worry. I so fuckin’ got this!”
He was a few drinks deep but he was so confident and he was your only hope so you went with it. He looked like a little kid the way he was practically giddy.
“You had better! There’s some serious prize money riding on this round.” You said in warning.
“No, no. You don’t understand that I’ve GOT this. Your turn to look pretty, not that it’s gonna be all that hard for you, sweetface” Bucky grinned at you over his beer as he took another sip.
Your cheeks felt heated and you tried your best to hide it by taking another drink yourself. Bucky’s flirting has never worked until now. Must be the alcohol.
“Shut up, Barnes” you mumble.
“Y’keep saying that but what I really think you mean is ‘I love you, Bucky you’re so strong and handsome~’” He imitated in a high pitched feminine voice.
You shoved him for real and before you could say anything else the third round was starting.
____
Bucky wasn’t kidding when he said he had this. He had won the round in a clean sweep and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t impressed. Who knew this man harbored so much videogame trivia? When the host handed you the prize money he just waggled his eyebrows as if to say See?
“I gotta hand it to you, Barnes, I had no idea you had that much videgame wisdom rolling around up there. The only videogame I ever play is Mariokart so I’d be toast without you.”
“Mariokart? That’s it?? No problem, doll. It was nice to contribute.” He chuckles at that.
You divvied the money up and handed him his half.
“Guess I’m not such a cheap date afterall, huh?”
He chuckled as he took his half from you.
“I’m gonna go pay the tab with our winnings, I’ll be back”
You picked up your phone while you waited for him to find some missed texts from Steve.
‘How’s it going?’ ‘Are you guys doing okay?’ ‘I haven’t heard anything so I’m assuming you haven’t killed each other. Have fun, text if you need a ride home.’
You almost rolled your eyes at Steve’s insistence but found yourself smiling instead. You’d text him back when you got home.
Bucky was walking up to you once more and you smiled at him slightly.
“You said you’re good at Mariokart?”
“I didn’t say I was good at Mariokart, I said that I played it. Why?”
“Well I was thinkin’ maybe we could go back to mine and I could whoop your butt”
You weren’t going to say yes but now he was goading you and you took the bait without hesitation.
“Oh, you’re on, Barnes. You’re so, so on.”
His smile grew wider when he heard your response. With that he placed his hand on your lower back and ushered you out of the bar.
____
You played two tournament cups worth of Mariokart and Bucky had indeed whooped your butt. You don’t know why you were surprised, with how much gaming he and Steve do it’s no surprise he’s a natural. You still had fun though. Just when you were about to propose a third round Bucky got up and headed to the kitchen without a word.
He came back with two glasses of water and handed you one. He sat down on the floor next to you and you set down your controller.
“Here, drink up.”
You were taken aback a bit by the kind gesture but accepted the glass just the same.
“Thank you, I might regret saying this but, you’re not so bad when you’re not being insufferable, Barnes”. You told him
He smiled and shook his head as he drank his water.
“Thanks, I guess”
“How come you can’t be like this all the time? When it’s just the two of us you’re so kind and you’re even… I don’t know, funny maybe. Why do you get all cocky whenever else I see you?”
He looked down into his glass at your comment and you watched his brows crease in thought.
“I don’t know, it just sort of… happens, whenever I’m around other people I don’t know that well. I don’t mean to be a dick or anything but it’s like I can’t help myself. People expect me to be a certain way and I can’t help but fall into it sometimes. Nat hated that about me, it’s part of the reason why she dumped me, actually”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that. And I’m sorry about the breakup, too. I know you guys were together for a while.” Bucky only shrugged at this and downed the rest of his water.
“It is what it is. I’m ready to be over it, I’m getting there slowly but surely. I gotta say, you’re not so bad either when you’re not getting all defensive and in my face. You’re actually pretty funny”
Your turn to become flustered at a personal analysis.
“Thanks, I guess I don’t mean to be so defensive either, it's just my response to most other people. I feel myself slip into it and it can’t be helped.” You explained.
Bucky nods at you, not knowing entirely what to say in response.
“I like spending time with you” He says leaning closer to you.
You swallow thickly, not sure what to make of what you feel knowing his face is so close to yours.
“I… like spending time with you too. You’re not what I thought.”
“Me neither,” he shakes his head, “You’re something else.”
With that he leans his head closer to yours and you feel yourself close your eyes and move your lips to slant perfectly into his. You’re kissing Bucky Barnes. The Bucky Barnes you can’t stand. That Bucky Barnes. You’ve decided that his tongue feels too good in your mouth to care now.
His hands come to frame your face and bring you in closer. His hands are warm and calloused but they feel like comfort. You can’t help but to melt. You moan into his mouth and it seems to spur him on. He pulls you into his lap and you let out a noise of surprise that’s muffled by his mouth on yours.
Your hands come to caress his sides and you take your time feeling every muscle and ridge. Your hands idly make their way under the hem of his shirt and his skin is just as smooth as you’d expect. He sighs into your mouth and it takes all of your strength not to fall apart right there. You feel yourself getting lightheaded and have to pull away for air. When you do you rest your forehead against his and the only sound is both of your breathing.
You finally brave a look at him and he has the softest smile on his lips.
“Sorry, doll, didn’t mean to get so carried away but I’ve been waiting for a long time to do that.”
This catches you off guard.
“You have? Wait, did you like me? But you flirt with everyone!” You explain.
“With you, I flirt with you. You just can’t stand me” he laughs out, “Nat dumped me for a couple reasons but that’s one of them she told me I needed to get my priorities straight and I gotta say, I’m thankin’ her for sayin’ it ‘cause she was right.”
You don’t know what to say or what to make of any of this. All you know is that you want to kiss him again, so you do. You grab him by the collar and pull him into you again. He lets out a startled noise but kisses you back all the same.
You don’t care what you used to think of Bucky Barnes and you don’t care about what’ll happen after today. Right now all you care about is feeling him in sync with you for the first time. You could live in this moment forever but right now will have to do.
416 notes · View notes
oh-ranpo · 4 years ago
Text
stay, don’t go.
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pairing: bucky barnes x reader warnings: angsty angst an: I don’t know, I just wrote it lmao word count: 2.4k+
“And if he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me!”
You kept hearing those words replaying over and over in your head. You knew that he had been upset about Sam giving up the shield, but you were surprised at how you hadn’t seen these particular emotions coming. There were a lot of things that Bucky worried about, but this burden of a thought broke your heart even more than usual. It was the most transparent he had been in months, and you hadn’t even been the one he was opening up to. Not that it mattered all that much, but now, you were struggling to find a way to help with the newly re-opened wound.
After the therapy session with Sam, Bucky had withdrawn into himself even more. Even though you had been waiting right outside the door, it was almost as if he didn’t see you at all when he walked through it. You had reached for his hand, and he had let you take his, but he didn’t say a word to you. 
He’s had a rough day, you had told yourself. Getting arrested on top of everything else he was dealing with had to be a lot. He just needed some time to process it all. 
Only, now, it was five hours later and he still hadn’t said a thing. You managed to get some hums in response to your prompting, and a shrug here and there, but no actual words fell from his lips. The anger from earlier in the day had dissipated, and now his shoulders drooped as he seemed to be carrying the world on his shoulders. Not that this was anything new to you either. It was a look you had long grown used to, but after hearing his outburst at therapy, you had a better idea than usual as to what was causing his pain this time.
Bucky had taken a spot in one of the chairs in the corner of your shared hotel room, and his blue eyes were fixed on the wall in front of him as he seemed to be attempting to stare a hole through it. You could practically hear the gears in his head turning, and you were sure that if you could read his thoughts, you wouldn’t be able to handle the emotional turmoil that lay inside. When you couldn’t get him to talk, you decided to order some food - something that you knew he liked - and then sat down in the chair next to him. 
“Food should be here soon,” you told him, as if he couldn’t hear you placing the delivery order just five minutes prior from the other side of the room. This time, Bucky didn’t even bother acknowledging what you had said as his hand came up to rest under his chin. He was still staring at the same spot on the wall, and his eyes were squinting slightly as he seemed to be deep in thought.
You sighed as you glanced down at your watch and saw that it was getting later in the evening, and you wondered what Sam was up to. The three of you had parted ways after the police station, and Sam had barely said anything to you or Bucky when you left. You could make out some of their conversation through the door during therapy, but really the only part you had heard clearly were Bucky’s words. And it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the ‘he’ Bucky had been referring to was Steve. This was what his whole trip had been about in the first place.
You knew that you couldn’t go the whole night without addressing the elephant in the room, but you also knew how Bucky was when it came to opening up. Even with you. You knew that, besides Sam, you were one of the only people that he trusted since Steve passed away, and you didn’t take that lightly. You really only pressed when you knew that it would be good for him to talk about something, and this was one of those times.
“Bucky?” You started again, using his name this time in an attempt to draw his attention away from the wall. He didn’t look over at you at first, but slowly, as you waited patiently, they started to trail over in your direction. When his eyes finally met yours, you gave him a small, sad smile as you leaned against the arm of the chair closest to him. “About what you said to Sam today…” 
You didn’t get a chance to finish your thought before Bucky was swiftly moving out of his seat. The movement caught you by surprise, as he had seemed so relaxed - well, as relaxed as he could be given the situation - but now he was running his hands through his hair as he started pacing in circles.
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” he mumbled, as his hand ran over his face, and his other gloved hand shoved into the pockets of his jeans. Slowly, you stood up from your own chair and made your way over to him, your hand reaching out for the sleeve of his jacket before he harshly pulled it out of your grasp. 
His entire reaction was confusing you because usually, he just shut down. He didn’t get this visibly worked up, he just shut down and refused to give you any emotion or feedback on how he was feeling. Now, you could tell that he was upset, and from the look on his face, he knew that his expression and actions were giving him away.
“But you know you should,” you continued as you tried to reach for him again, this time more slowly. “Let me be there for you, Buck.” The second part of your statement came out at nearly a whisper, but it had been loud enough he had heard you and he started shaking his head.
“You shouldn’t have to. I’m- I’m fine. I just need to go-“ Now, he had started moving towards the hotel door, and you felt your heart start to race in your chest. He was trying to leave.
“Wait, no, don’t go!” You cried, as you rushed to stop him, and Bucky’s hand hesitated over the doorknob. “Please. Stay. Talk to me.” You hated how broken your words sounded, but after everything that had taken place over the last few months, you couldn’t bear the thought of him walking out of that door and leaving you alone. Hesitantly, Bucky looked back over his shoulder at you, and you could see that same, decades-old pain swimming in his light blue irises.
“You’d be better off if I did. I’m doing nothing for you here.” Earlier, when you thought the comment about Steve was the most painful thing you had heard him say, this was a close second. You shook your head firmly as you took another step closer to him, and instead of reaching for the door knob fully, Bucky allowed his hand to fall back down to his side.
“No, Bucky, I wouldn’t be better off. I lived five years without you. Five years of never knowing if you were going to come back. I’ve known a life without you, and that is something I never want to have to experience again.”
Bucky’s shoulders deflated at your words, and you could see a flash of something in his expression that gave you a sliver of hope. You knew how he felt about you, and you knew that, deep down, he was well aware of how you felt about him. That was a secret you never tried to keep from him, and the one thing he never tried to hide from you either. 
After he didn’t move any closer to the door, and he didn’t respond to your words either, you slowly reached out for him once more, but this time, he didn’t pull away. You took ahold of his gloved hand and moved closer to him. The pain and conflict was still present in his expression, but as you lifted your other hand to cup his cheek, you hoped that maybe you would be able to find a way to bring him some comfort.
“Come sit back down with me, please,” you whispered, and for a moment, he didn’t move. You knew that if he really wanted to leave, you would have to let him, but your heart started to crack at the mere thought. Thankfully, after another heavy moment of silence, Bucky nodded and allowed you to lead him back to the end of the bed. You didn’t drop his hand, and when the two of you sat down next to one another, you sat close enough so that your leg was pressed up against his. 
“I know you said you don’t want to talk about it, but I heard what you said to Sam today. About Steve,” you murmured, your gaze falling to where your hands were entwined and resting on his thigh. “And Bucky, you know that isn’t true, right? Steve… he thought the world of you. He would have, and did, do anything for you. He knew you, Buck, just as I do, and he saw the heart that you have and knew that you were worth every bit of it.”
When you looked up, you could see the tears swimming in his eyes as he tried to hold them back. Steve had always been a sensitive subject, and you knew that, but you also knew that what you said was true. You had known Steve, and you had seen and heard the way he felt about his best friend. Before he was Captain America, Bucky had always been there for him, and after he was Captain America, he was there to return the favor without hesitation. He never held Bucky’s Hydra days against him because he knew, just as you did, that he had no control over that. He was a victim; a pawn in a much bigger game than he ever could have won on his own. He was still paying for it, even after all this time. You just hoped that someday he’d find a way to forgive himself.
“I just don’t know sometimes,” Bucky managed to choke out after another heavy silence. “I mean, I’m trying, but the nightmares and the constant reminders of what I did…” His voice trailed off as he fixed his eyes on the window across the room in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. You knew that he hated crying in front of anyone, despite you having told him numerous times that he didn’t have to hide that part of himself from you.
“That wasn’t you, at least, not really,” you replied. “You’re James Buchanan Barnes, White Wolf.” This time you nudged him in the shoulder with your own and he cracked half a smile as his eyes flickered back over to you. “The Winter Soldier was not you. And before you try to argue with me, I’ve seen him and I’ve seen you, and I can tell you that he is nowhere near the same guy as the one that’s sitting right here next to me.”
Bucky cringed at the reminder that you had been forced to bear witness to his time as The Winter Soldier when Zemo had activated him a few years before the blip. He had spent months apologizing, despite not having done anything to you, and you cursed yourself for bringing it up again. 
“I mean, the metal arm is the only thing you guys have in common, and on the Bucky I know… it’s actually kind of sexy.” You added the last part lightly, and when Bucky looked over at you again, you waggled your eyebrows playfully. He just shook his head as the corners of his lips turned up just a bit, before his gaze fell to his lap. The hand you were holding now was the metal one, and you followed his gaze as you released your hold on it before slowly slipping his glove off. He flexed the metal appendages as soon as the glove was gone, and you reached for it as your fingers traced over the cool metal.
“It’s a curse,” he mumbled, his eyes still locked on where it was resting in his lap. “I mean, Shuri was nice enough to make it better than the old one but…” 
You shook your head as you grabbed it before lifting it to your lips and pressing a small kiss to the back of it.
“It’s not a curse, it’s a part of you. And because of that, I love it. Just like I love you.”
Bucky inhaled sharply at those three little words, even though you had been saying them practically non-stop since he had returned. You had said it before he was gone too, but you knew, back then, that he didn’t believe it. 
“I do love you, Bucky. So please… don’t leave.” 
For a moment, you could tell that Bucky had almost completely forgotten about how he had been about to walk out. It was a gift that you possessed that he had never truly understood. Even though you were talking about his problems, it didn’t feel nearly as bad as it did when he talked about his problems with anyone else. Not that he opened up enough to anyone else to really do much good. 
“I couldn’t leave,” he murmured as your eyes lifted to meet his. “You’re the only one that makes me feel… well, anything.”
Your heart fluttered in your chest as that was practically him saying he loved you too, and you couldn’t help but smile. 
“And thank you,” he continued. “For what you said.” You nodded in response as you leaned against his shoulder, his metal hand falling to your thigh as you wrapped your arms around his waist. 
“I’m always here for you to talk to, you know that? Though, you do need to talk to Sam too. He’s going through a hard time just like you are, and he needs his friends to be there with him too.” 
Slowly, Bucky nodded, but before either of you could continue, there was a knock on the hotel room door, and you were reminded of the take-out order that you had placed earlier.
“You hungry?” You asked with another smile as you stood up from the end of the bed and moved towards the door.
“I could eat,” you heard him respond, and you chuckled as you pulled open the door to grab your food. 
Things were far from perfect, but every day the two of you took baby steps towards healing together. And really, you couldn’t ask for much more than that. 
577 notes · View notes
georgiapeach30513 · 2 years ago
Text
Family Group Chat
Boys Will Be Boys
James:  I did it.  I tried a new tossed salad today.  I'm telling you, I could eat salad everyday. Iris makes the best salad.
Carter:  You do love your greens, buddy.
James:  The dressing was extra sweet and juicy today.
Ransom:  Tell Iris to send Kitten the recipe.  I know she was wanting a more sweet dressing for Sunday dinner.
James:  I'm sure she'd let you toss her salad with a sweet dressing.  Although, I get the impression that Kitten loves her some creamy dressing.
Blade:  Gross
Ransom:  What's wrong with creamy dressing?  Your mom is a big fan of that
Blade:  I need fucking therapy.  Where's Bucky randomly asking to leave the chat??? BUCKY! JOSHUA??
Ransom: I know you like to be healthy son, maybe you should ask your sister what she's feeding James.
Blade: Bye.
Carter:  Story got me a rose today, and it was the prettiest rose I've ever seen
James: Was it all soft and freshly bloomed?
Carter: Of course.  Only the best.  Story always has the prettiest rose petals
Blade: Um...this is Lo.  James can you tell me or Blade, whatever you're comfortable with, the directions on how you make this salad, please?  I've always been curious ☺
Carter: The rose had fresh morning dew on the petals
Ransom:  🤔🤔 Where did this rose come from?
Beck: I bet she picked it out of the garden.
Ransom:  MY garden??
Chris: 😂😂😂😂 You did help grow this rose
Blade:  Yeah Well, I got Lo a new strand of pearls. It looked so pretty on her neck
Beau: Arleigh's looking for a strand herself.
Blade: I can help you look 😉
Owin:  Wait a minute
Chris:  😂😂😂 Oop 🙈
Owin: Blade?  Beau???
Joshua:  Easy there killer.  Pearls are a nice touch every now and then
James:  NO!  Get him outta here
Beck:  I was actually wanting to try a different commute to work
Blade:  What??
Beau:  Beck is confused
Carter: 👀👀 Is this a back entrance to work?
Beck: Yes!  Aster is scared.
James:  Smaller tunnel, huh?
Beck:  Yes!  She's so unsure if she wants me to commute that way I told her that you commute that way and Iris is fine James HELP ME! I tried it once, but Az was so unsure, she made me turn around
Ransom:  Aster is a baby.  Tell her to get over it
Beck: Right away sir.
Chris:  Don't do that That won't help your case. You're trying to get her to try a new commute, not talk about her father.
Ransom:  Aster loves her father.
Chris: Just ease her into the new commute.  Make sure you've had a recent oil change.  Take your time, but get her comfortable.  She'll eventually come around to the new way
Owin: Mr. D I love you
Ransom:  She's my kid.  I just don't understand why she has to be a big baby.
Beck: She is such a sweet girl when she's being a baby.
Owin:  🙈🙈
Ransom:  🤔🤔 I'm confused
Chris: 😂😂
Joshua:  Oh dear....
Chris:  Beck, buddy, if you want you can always treat her like a big baby after the commute.  It'll make her feel better to be petted.
Ransom:  What's this commute?  I'll drive it just to assure her it's fine
Beck: Uhh...I don't know the exact address But I don't think you'd be a fan of this commute sir
James: Yeah, there's tight spaces in that tunnel
Ransom: I am a bit claustrophobic
Blade:  I hate all of you
Steve:  Why did this conversation go from salads, to roses, to pearls, to a commute I was trying to catch up, but this is nonsense
Joshua: Emy had a big slab of steak the other day.  It made her pass out from having to use her mouth so much.
Bucky:  and you guys think I'm dumb
James:  My sister is a vegetarian 😡😡
Owin:  Uh oh.  Caught again!
Joshua:  Oooh, sorry James.  She's not a vegetarian.   Not even close.  She has meat like everyday
Chris:  Ah, the meat sweats, classic.
Steve: What???
Ransom:  Bucky knows something I don't know.  I don't like it Bucky!  Spill it
*James leaves chat*
*Carter leaves chat*
*Beck leaves chat*
Blade:  Cowards
Beau: Pitiful
Curtis:  Bucky, what's going on??
*Beau leaves chat*
Chris:  😂😂😂 Beau Beau still scared of Curtis
Ari:  He should be scared of me! Blade!!!
Chris:  🍿🍿🍿
*Blade leaves chat*
Ransom:  Wait a minute.   Chris brought out the popcorn!!! Bucky??!!
Bucky:  They're speaking in code Tossing a salad is another name for eating ass
Chris: 😂😂😂 Ran, how you feeling daddy-o??
Bucky: Pearls...Blade is cumming on Lo
Ari:  Beau mentioned pearls??
Joshua:  Aren't you and Curtis Doms??
Curtis: He's a switch.  I'm a Dom What does that have to do with anything
Joshua:  I’m assuming a strand of pearls has happened a lot
Ari:  Especially before we decided to get pregnant
Owin:  🤢🤢 DAD!!
Bucky:  Story doesn't have a rose bush.  I've seen her garden
Owin:  😂😂 You sure you've seen her garden Buck?? I don't know if Carter will like you looking at her garden.
Chris:  Story doesn't have any bushes
Ransom:............
Chris: Oh come on!  Everyone knows she hates body hair and had it lasered off her whole body Morning dew???  Really?  There's only one rose that Carter is worried about
Ransom:  😡😡
Bucky: I thought he was talking about an actual rose
Chris:  🤦🏻‍♂️
Ransom: Not only are they disgusting, but I will kill them ALL of them!
Steve: You literally named your wife after the fact you could make her pussy purr
*Blade leaves chat*
Owin:  High five Mr. D!
Ransom:  Shut up
Chris:  😂😂😂 And now everyone calls her Kitten
Ransom:  It's cute!!
Steve: It's what you called her pussy!
Ransom:  Wrong...sometimes I called it a kitty cat
Bucky:  Why do we always have to do this??  It's not fun
Chris:  I think I'm going to eat some salad
*Chris leaves chat*
Joshua: What the fuck 😂😂
Owin: Where do you find these men?
Ransom:  GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
Steve:  Ransom.... You're at my house
Ransom: I was talking to Chris.
Bucky:  Who left the chat.  He didn't hear you.  
Owin:  Unless you screamed.  Did you scream??
Ransom: I make my wife scream
*Ransom leaves chat*
Owin:  He's such a tease
Curtis: I made her scream, too
Owin: 😲😲😲
*Curtis leaves chat*
Frank:  Made her scream first
*Frank leaves chat*
Owin: He seriously just pops up whenever the fuck he wants to doesn't he??
Bucky:  Go home
Steve: Made her scream on my fingers
*Steve leaves chat*
Owin: Ahh!!  What is this? I'm about to call Mrs. D!
Ari:  Son, let it go
Owin:  Dad...
Ari:  no
*Ari leaves chat*
Joshua:  You ask too many questions
Owin:  It fascinates me.  Speaking of which.  You need to try a different angle
Joshua:  What??
Owin: I came across this video. I saw your couch, and a picture of the dogs You do great work
*Joshua leaves chat*
Owin:  Oh come on!!
16 notes · View notes
babyboibucky · 4 years ago
Text
Undeserving (Deserve Better Part 2)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: You confront Bucky about his decision to abandon you.
Word Count: 2,868
Warnings: More angst lmao I’m sorry for this
A/N: Honestly struggled with this because 1) I couldn’t decide on how to end it and 2) I was pressured from the feedback I got from Deserve Better. I’m not entirely happy with how this came out and initially, I planned on doing an epilogue for those who’d prefer a different ending but decided against it. Anyway, if you guys have more questions about this, send me an ask! I’d love to discuss more about this lol luv u all as always. Feedbacks are highly appreciated and I hope this was good enough for y’all who enjoyed Deserve Better xoxo
Deserve Better || Undeserving || Deserve The Best
MAIN MASTERLIST
-
You chose to stay.
Despite seeing the love of your life— whom you had waited for years— in the arms of another, you stayed at the gala. It was after all, to honor Steve’s legacy and you respected him enough not to walk away and miss out on the speeches given by people dearest to him, Bucky included of course.
You weren’t sure if he had seen you and the way your eyes brimmed with tears when everything finally made sense to you. He wasn’t far from you when you stopped in your tracks, mouth parting as a soft whimper escaped past your lips.
You had never imagined that heartbreak could be so physically painful. And it wasn’t the regular pain you’d feel after an intense workout or when you scraped your knee. The hurt was different, like your heart was being tightly squeezed into someone else’s palm. It was choking you, constricting you of oxygen as if you were drowning. No matter how much you tried to reach the surface, the pain just kept on pulling you down until there was nothing but darkness and well, pain.
Once the program was over and all the guests were left to mingle, you carefully slipped out of the crowd. Mindlessly, you walked and walked and walked until your feet began to hurt from the heels you were wearing. When the cold and crisp air of the evening embraced you, it was then that you realized that you reached the compound’s garden, just behind the main hall where the gala was happening.
The quiet gave you time to think and process everything that had happened. Bucky left to find himself and to become better, that he did. And you waited only to discover that he’d been back for quite a while now but chose to be with another.
As you looked out in front of you, your vision turned blurry as a new wave of tears escaped your eyes. Your grief had resurfaced after repressing it for so, so long. Grief from Bucky’s goodbye, from his absence and from waiting, grief from seeing him with someone else; no matter the cause, all in all it was grief nonetheless.
Bucky’s soft voice calling your name echoed in the evening air, it was so soft that you almost thought that you were hallucinating. But then he’d called you again, using the pet name that used to make your stomach flip and your heart to flutter. It still had the same effect now, you realized, only that it came along with an immense amount of pain that made your blood boil.
Hearing Bucky call you that, it almost felt like poison. It was quiet, gentle even but it left a bitter taste in your mouth as you felt its venom run through your veins until you could no longer feel anything but pain.
“Doll—“
“Don’t.” you seethed and turned around, pointing a shaky finger right at Bucky. “Don’t call me that when you’re with someone else, James.”
Bucky flinched at the way you had addressed him. You saw how his face faltered upon seeing you like this. His vibranium arm was restless against his side, as if he wanted to reach out to you but knew better than to do so.
“I waited for you!” you spat.
If he found somebody else to become better for, he could at least let you know. But he didn’t and you needed to know why he chose to abandon you. You needed it so badly, for your own peace of mind. For closure. You deserved that, at least.
“I’m sorry, I—“
“No, you don’t get to say your side until I’m done with mine!” you insisted. “I have every right to be selfish right now. I can choose to lash out on you or refuse to even listen to whatever your reason is for abandoning me no matter how valid it is. I fucking deserve that, Bucky.”
Bucky closed his mouth and nodded; you hated how he was staring at you as if he just lost his moonlight, as if he still loved you. If he did, you wouldn’t be confronting him like this and you wouldn’t have seen him with someone else.
“When Steve told me that you disappeared, when it felt like there was no way to bring everyone back, I waited. It didn’t feel right for me to move on from you just like that and deep inside I knew that you were going to return. Five years, Buck. I waited five years for nothing.” you said quietly, recalling how devastating those five years were.
You didn’t know what would happen then, nobody knew. Would they still come back? The chances were slim and yet you trusted your gut and decided to remain hopeful. It wasn’t easy to wait for something or someone that may never come back. But you still did and it never even crossed your mind that you may just be wasting your time.
You let out a breathy chuckle, “And then you came back and I felt alive again. But then you said goodbye.” you pursed your lips in an attempt to hold back your tears but to no avail.
It took you a while to collect yourself and Bucky let you, until you spoke again and told him how much it destroyed you when he walked away from you.
“Everyone else told me that I shouldn’t wait. Not again after those five years. But it felt easier this time around because you told me you wanted to get better. For me. And I was excited, Bucky.” you told him with a chuckle. “I was excited to see your return. I looked forward to how we’d spend our time together when you come back, if you’d cut your hair. If you’d wear the same cologne that I loved.”
A smile tugged at your lips as you recalled those times you daydreamed about Bucky’s return. The wait was agonizing but it gave you something to look forward to. At least you weren’t waiting for nothing anymore. Bucky was leaving but only temporarily, you were sure he’d come back. But the smile vanished as soon as it appeared and before you knew it, you were sobbing again.
“And now you’re back and so much better. But you aren’t mine anymore.”
At this point, your grief had consumed you both physically and mentally. You knees wobbled but you didn’t hit the ground, no. Instead, there was warmth against your skin followed by the smell of a certain cologne, enveloping the air around you. Bucky caught you in his arms and he held you tight as you cried into him.
“Shh, doll. I’m here now.” he whispered before pressing a kiss onto your crown.
As much as it felt right to be in Bucky’s embrace, it wasn’t enough to overcome the betrayal he did. You groaned in frustration and pushed him away, stepping back and hugging yourself instead.
“Why?” you asked quietly.
“I need to know why and how we came to this.” you asked, almost begged for Bucky to give you the closure you badly needed.
Bucky ran a hand through his hair as he paced before you, his cheeks stained with his own tears. “I came back for you.” he said.
You frowned, “When?”
“I couldn’t wait to see you again and as soon as I got back, I went straight to your office. But then you weren’t working there anymore, I found out that you finally landed your dream job at the law firm.” he said with a small smile. “I was so proud when I heard that. I was supposed to go to your apartment but something came up and I needed to meet with Sam first. Weekend came and I was on my way to your place when I saw you. And you were with someone else and you looked....happier, the happiest I’d seen you.”
Something clicked and you quickly shook your head, “Andy. No, he’s not...we were never together. This is a misunderstanding, Bucky. He and I were never—“
“I know.” Bucky admitted.
“What?” You asked, voice soft from utter confusion.
“You looked happy with him, not because of him. I know you weren’t in love with him because if you were, you would have looked at him the same way you’re looking at me now.” He explained sadly.
Hearing Bucky’s explanation made you angrier. If he knew that, then why did he still leave? What reason could be bigger than that to make Bucky wake up one day and decide that he no longer wants to come back to you?
If he knew you loved him so much to actually wait, why did he leave you like that?
Your brows creased, “If that’s not the reason, then what?”
Bucky shrugged, “I realized that you didn’t deserve me. I left to better myself for you, god I really did. But when I saw you and how you managed to be successful without me by your side, I figured that you were better off without me. I thought I got better, but seeing you again looking so beautiful, happy and just...maybe I’ll never be the right one for you.”
You bitterly chuckled at Bucky’s revelation, “This doesn’t make any sense to me, Bucky. You chose to abandon me because you thought I was happier without you?”
You felt offended that Bucky even thought of that. Did he not trust you when you told him you’d wait for him? He didn’t even show up to tell you that, to give you the chance to reassure him how much you love him. He just decided that it was better for him to leave you hanging?
“That’s bullshit, Bucky.” you spat. “You left me hanging because you thought you were weighing me down and the next time I see you, you’re with Sharon now. Who by the way, used to date your best friend. I don’t understand any of this.” you told him.
Bucky looked at the ground as he evened out his breathing. There were a few seconds of silence between the two of you. Only heavy breaths and the distant sound of the music from the gala lingered in the air. It was almost comforting. Almost.
“Sharon and I...it wasn’t easy for us when Steve left. It was something that we both had in common. We wanted to fix ourselves and in the process we just...it happened. I didn’t mean for it but it just happened.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
The pain was replaced with grief and then anger. A little sympathy was thrown in the mix too upon hearing Bucky’s reason but now you were back to square one. Pain.
“You worried for her when Steve left but didn’t worry about me when you chose to leave me hanging? You told me you needed to fix yourself alone because you didn’t want to hurt me in the process of doing so. Guess what, Bucky? You hurt me all the same. Even more so when you chose to stay for Sharon and when you allowed her to help you fix yourself.”
Bucky remained silent as he simply gazed at you and let you say your piece. You just couldn’t understand where he truly was coming from. You knew about his insecurities and you accepted each one of them. You’d wholeheartedly accepted Bucky from the moment you knew you loved him, that included his flaws and demons, even on days he hated himself.
“Don’t shut me out like that again, please?” You asked Bucky, when he finally let you inside his room after isolating himself for days.
He had those days, when he couldn’t bring himself to come out and just...live. He’d push people away and torture himself with negative thoughts. But you always stayed no matter what.
“‘m sorry doll, I just...sometimes...I love you so much but sometimes I feel like I don’t have enough of it to actually show you. And you don’t deserve that.” He explained.
You smiled and cupped his cheek, “That’s okay, Bucky. I love you and the amount of love I have for you is more than enough for both of us.”
Was your love not enough for him all along? For him not to consider how you would feel if he just decided not to come home to you anymore? You shouldn’t be blaming yourself for everything, you did your part. But you couldn’t help but wonder whether it was because of you that Bucky chose to walk away.
“I love you, I really do. And you deserve the best and I’m not...that. I chose to let you go so you can have that.”
“I don’t need the best version of you, Bucky!” You quickly cut him off. “I just need you.” You added.
When Bucky decided to leave to get better, you let him even though you hated to see him walk away. You’d be selfish not to, especially when Bucky was finally free to decide things for himself. It was for the best, but honestly speaking, you didn’t want a better version of him.
Whether it was the Winter Soldier or James Buchanan Barnes, whatever version of him he’d give to you, you love Bucky all the same.
You love Bucky so much that it was so painful for you to hear that he actually thought you’d be happier without him.
“You don’t deserve someone as damaged as me. Even if I got better, I’m still struggling and I don’t want to make things hard for you.” Bucky said.
“And you don’t get to decide what you think I deserve! You don’t get to abandon me like I was nothing, like we were nothing to you.” You seethed.
Bucky looked away, blinking his tears away as he tried to compose himself. His jaw tensed as he looked at you with an apologetic gaze.
“You shouldn’t have waited for me. You didn’t have to.” He said the same thing to you when he left, and it hurt just as much.
“I love you. I’ll wait, Bucky.” You murmured and tugged at his hand before he could even let you go.
Bucky smiled sadly at you, “You don’t have to, doll.”
You shook your head and brought Bucky’s hand to your lips as you cried, “I want to. And I will.”
“I know. But in all those years you were gone, I woke up each day and chose to wait for you. I always chose you, Bucky.” You said with a sad smile.
You stumbled a bit and lifted your dress enough to reveal your bleeding foot. You’d walked that long, for your feet to get wounded and ironically, you couldn’t feel anything but the pain of seeing Bucky again. He tried to approach you and help you out but you waved a hand and kept him at an arm’s length away from you. You removed your shoes and straightened up, looking at Bucky and his ocean blue eyes for one last time.
“I’m sorry if you felt like you weren’t enough. You’re more than enough for me, Bucky. I really thought that I could love and fight for the both of us, but I guess not.”
Bucky didn’t say anything else, and you hoped he would. It might have been pathetic of you to wish that he’d come back to you, but you really hoped he would say something to fight for you. He didn’t and that was enough for you to make a decision.
“Goodbye, Bucky.”
You bit your lower lip as you turned around, holding back your tears as you jogged back into the gala. You walked past everyone in the crowd in a hurry, wanting to head home as quickly as possible. And then you came face to face with someone you weren’t prepared to confront.
It’s as if time stopped when you saw her, Sharon. She must have found out about your presence. Did she know of Bucky’s decision to abandon you? You wondered how she helped Bucky better himself, why he let her stay as he fixed himself.
Why Bucky chose to be with her instead of coming home to you.
You could feel your chest constrict again, the pain continuing to consume you whole. If you stayed any longer, you were afraid you might break.
“Do you love him?” You asked her softly.
Without missing a beat, Sharon nodded her head. “I do.” She whispered.
“How much?” You asked again.
“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.” Sharon responded and you could feel the sincerity in her statement.
The way she said it wasn’t meant to hurt you nor mock you. It was reassuring, in fact. Like she was making you a promise that she was going to take good care of Bucky the same way you did. Maybe even more. You swallowed as you nodded, forcing a small smile before looking away to wipe a tear that slipped.
“That’s good.” You simply said. “Because I’d do anything for him too.”
Anything. Even if that meant walking away and giving up on a battle that you’d already lost the moment Bucky decided to abandon you.
-
Everything Bucky Tag List:
@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar  @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @i’m-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @tcc-gizmachine @prettyintopeerpressure​ @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @​thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi 
Deserve Better Special Tags:
@nervous-plant @wintersfilm 
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lillywillow · 3 years ago
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Birthday Wishes
Summary: Bucky wants to plan the best party ever for his young daughter
 Word Count: 2430
 Square Filled: Free Space
 Pairings: Singledad!Bucky x Female Reader/ Steve x Peggy
 Warnings: None really
 Written for @star-spangled-bingo
Ever since the mother to Bucky’s daughter passed away when she was a baby, he had been totally devoted to her and every year on her birthday, he went all out trying to make it the best one ever.
 About a month ago, Tony’s daughter Morgan had a mermaid themed party; complete with a woman dressed as a mermaid. Bucky’s daughter Rebecca had totally raved about it and with her own birthday coming up, he made a note to take one of the business cards with him.
...
 The moment Bucky walked into the building, he was in awe. The front of the store was full of costumes, dolls, plushies, pirate treasure chests, fairy wings and wands... every kind of fantasy item a child could possibly want and a lot of it looked handmade. Out the back, he could hear squealing and laughter. A party in progress, perhaps?
 “Good afternoon, welcome to Childhood Dreams. How may I help you?” the receptionist asked.
 “Hi. I’m looking to book a party? It’s for my daughter...”
 “I see. Well, before booking a party, you’ll need to make an appointment with Y/N. She likes to customise her parties to the client. She’s currently doing a performance but if you’re happy to wait, she’ll be done soon...”
 “I can wait...”
 “Great. Follow me please...”
 Bucky followed the receptionist into the back. There was a pirate party taking place with all the children dressed up as pirates. There were props and decorations keeping in tone with the theme and an incredible cake. On the stage up the front was the same woman who had played the part of the mermaid at Morgan’s party, this time she was a pirate, enacting a mighty swordfight with another actor. She really put her all into the performance.
 Bucky watched her for a moment before the receptionist pulled him along and guided him to an office along the side. The inside of the office was just as cheerful and childlike as the rest of the place. The desk was lined with small trinkets. Along the walls were various photographs of the woman in different costumes. A princess, a fairy, a friendly witch... there was a costume for every occasion. Bucky was in the middle of admiring them when the door opened and the subject from the photos stepped in.
 “You must be the gentleman wanting a party,” she smiled, taking off her hat and eye patch before sitting at her desk and encouraging him to take a seat. “I’m Y/N.”
 “Yes, that’s right. My name is Bucky and I’m looking to do a birthday party for my daughter Rebecca,” he said, getting his phone out to show her a picture.
 Y/N smiled at the photo of the little girl who was dressed as a princess.
 “Tell me about Rebecca. I take it she’s a princess fan?”
 Bucky’s face lit up as he spoke about his little girl. Everything that she loved about princesses and fairytales, down to her favourite colours, animals and mythical creatures.
 “I’m probably rambling now...”
 “No, no, I think it’s sweet to see a father so dedicated to his daughter. Let me show you a few of our packages,” she smiled.
 Y/N logged into her tablet to show him a few of the princess themed parties they offered. Bucky looked through the options before deciding on a fantasy type one with princesses, wizards and all things in that vein.
 “Will you be having the party here or elsewhere?”
 “I think home would be best... unless... here would be better? I don’t know...”
 “Some children feel more comfortable on home base and some like going out. It’s really up to you. My job is to give your child the best possible experience...”
 Bucky nodded slowly and thought.
 “She might like a party in her own backyard...”
 “That’s totally fine. I’ll need to visit ahead of time just so I can work on a setup. Now, will you be providing your own cake? If not, I can recommend an excellent bakery.”
 “A family friend agreed to make the cake,” Bucky replied.
 Y/N nodded and jotted down a few notes.
 “What about food?”
 “Yes, we’ll be making our own food too.”
 Y/N nodded again and wrote down a few more notes. After agreeing on a price, a date and time to meet, his address and the date of the party, Bucky started heading out the door.
 “One more thing...”
 Bucky turned to look at her.
 “I like to ask our clients how they found out about our business...”
 “A while ago, you threw a mermaid party for a friend of mine’s daughter. Rebecca couldn’t stop talking about it for days after that...”
 Y/N smiled fondly.
 “I see... well, I guess I’ll see you when I come to do my inspection. Goodbye, Bucky.”
 “Bye.”
 As Bucky left the office, he could feel his heart fluttering like it hadn’t done in a long time. Ever since his wife’s passing, Bucky hadn’t even looked at another woman. Well, he had looked but he had always been so busy taking care of Rebecca, he didn’t really have time to be pursuing women. Sure on occasion, he would go on a blind date now and then and Steve would babysit but that would be the extent of it. Bucky thought for sure his dating life was over but talking to Y/N just now... it gave him a lot of hope.
...
 Time went by and eventually the day arrived when you went to meet Bucky at his place. Bucky greeted you at the door with a smile and ushered you inside. Smiling, you looked around the place. Pictures of Bucky’s life lined the walls and shelves. Photos of him with friends but most of them were of his little girl. One thing you noticed was the lack of pictures of the girl’s mother. There were a few of her before having the child but not many after.
 “So, um... what do you need to see?”
 “You mentioned a backyard?” you said, referring back to the interview you had a few days ago.
 Bucky nodded and showed you the way. First, you scoped out the best place to conduct your performance then took out your measuring tape to size up the props you might need. As you worked, Bucky could see the gears turning in your head.
 “Do you go out to different locations a lot?” Bucky asked, trying to strike up a conversation.
 “Not a lot but it’s always fun when we do.”
 “How long have you been in business?”
 “It’s taken me about ten years to get it off the ground. It’s only been gaining popularity in the last year or so...”
 “Wait, so you own Childhood Dreams?”
 “Sure do. You see, I always believed childhood should be about fun and games before going onto the drudgery of adulthood. And I help out local business in the process. Most of the items available for purchase were made by local artists. I’m always willing to lend a hand when they need it. That’s why I ask about food. There’s a small bakery a few blocks from the building we’re located who does the most beautiful cakes...”
 You suddenly were interrupted by something brushing up against your leg. Looking down, you saw the most adorable white cat.
 “Why, hello there. Aren’t you a cutie?” you cooed, bending down to pat the snowy feline.
 “This is Alpine. Rebecca is just crazy about her. She’s been a really big help ever since...” Bucky paused, feeling a lump in his throat and tears well up in his eyes.
 Alpine trotted over to him and purred as he picked her up.
 “Sorry. It’s just... ever since my wife passed when Rebecca was a baby; I’ve wanted to give her the best life possible. I try to give equal amounts of time between her so she can look up to me and work so she has the best things in life...”
 You went over and gave him a hug.
 “You’re a good man, Bucky. I’ve been in this business long enough to tell the devoted parents from the off-standers. Just by spending a few minutes with you, I already know that you love your daughter and think the world of her. Just make sure you spend a few moments taking care of yourself, okay? It doesn’t have to be much, just enough so you feel good too.”
 Bucky gave you a soft smile, knowing that you were right. Everyone had told him as such but sometimes, it’s harder to take advice from the people closest to you.
 “Can I get you anything to drink?” he offered.
 “Actually, I should get going. I’ve got a children’s charity event I need to get ready for. It’s been really nice seeing you again, Bucky. I guess the next time I see you will be for your daughter’s party.”
 “See you then,” Bucky smiled.
 He couldn’t wait for the party.
...
 Finally, the day of Rebecca’s birthday arrived. Bucky had spent the night before busily transforming his humble home into a castle fit for a princess. He wanted everything to be perfect for his little girl’s special day, buying the most glittery, ruffled princess dress for her to wear, complete with a sparkly tiara. Bucky himself hired a prince costume and even managed to obtain a kitty sized dragon costume for Alpine.
 Bucky spent the morning cooking, starting with a plate of pancakes for breakfast before moving onto the finishing touches on the food for the party. He had most of it prepared already but some of it needed heating.
 The first to arrive was Wanda with her twin boys who were both in costume. The boys instantly ran over to play with Rebecca while Wanda was left holding the cake she had made along with her purse and the present she had bought. Bucky rushed over to help her with the items and after exchanging greetings and pleasantries, she showed his the cake.
 It was everything Bucky could have ever hoped for and more. The cake was purple with ice cream cones decorated like castle turrets, topped with little princess and unicorn figurines and the words ‘Happy Birthday, Rebecca’ written in icing along with the age she was turning. Little pink flowers were piped along the sides.
 “Thank you so much, Wanda. Becca’s just going to love it.”
 “You’re welcome,” she smiled, giving him a hug.
 Soon after Wanda’s arrival was Steve and Peggy with their child followed by Tony, Pepper and Morgan, Sam with his kid and it wasn’t long before all the party guests had arrived. The adults all mingled while the children played together happily. Right on time, Y/N arrived with her scene partner in full costume. She was wearing a knight costume while her partner (whom she introduced as Phil) was dressed as an ‘evil’ wizard. Bucky settled the kids in front of the makeshift stage and let the performance begin.
 Y/N started by introducing herself as a knight dedicated to Princess Rebecca.
 “That’s me!” Rebecca squealed in delight, jumping to her feet and clapping.
 Y/N knelt down to be level with her, crossing her right arm over her chest in a salute.
 “I vow to protect you from the evils of the kingdom.”
 Suddenly, Phil jumped out of his hiding place.
 “Mwa-ha-ha! I am an evil wizard and I am here to change all the cakes into broccoli!”
 Bucky thought he was laying it on a little thick but there was a wave of horrified gasps from the kids.
 “Not so fast, evil wizard! We will defeat you! Kids, if I’m going to beat him, I’m going to need your help...”
 Y/N and Phil made an amazing pair. While Y/N encouraged the children and even a few of the parents to join in, Phil played off their reactions until he was ‘defeated’.
 “You win! I will change my evil ways and use my powers for good!” he dramatically cried.
 The children all cheered and clapped. The two actors took a bow and started to pack up as Bucky announced it was time for cake. The kids all raced over to where the cake was being brought out.
 “Would you two like to stay for cake?” Bucky offered.
 Phil looked at Y/N for permission, a hopeful glint in his eye.
 “Sure. We have some time before our next appointment,” she smiled. Phil gave a big, childlike grin.
 Once everyone had sung Happy Birthday to Rebecca and she had blown out the candles, the cake was served out. Steve approached Bucky.
 “Hey, man. How are you doing?”
 “A bit tired but seeing the smile on that little girl’s face makes it all worth it,” he softly sighed.
 Steve followed Bucky’s gaze to where Rebecca was talking animatedly to Y/N. He could tell the smile on her face was genuine and not just for show. This was a person who loved their job and loved children.
 “Is that the same Y/N you’ve been going on about all week?”
 “I haven’t been talking about her that much...”
 Steve gave him an incredulous look.
 “You know, it’s okay to like her. Why don’t you ask her out?”
 “What about Rebecca?”
 “Peggy and I can look after her while you go out on date. You deserve to be happy too...”
 Bucky thought about it for a while and headed over to Y/N and Rebecca.
 “Daddy, daddy! Y/N was the mermaid at Morgan’s party! She’s magical...” Rebecca was absolutely smitten with the woman.
 “I see... Can I talk Y/N alone for a minute? Then you can open presents,” he smiled.
 Rebecca giggled and hugged his leg before running off to play with her friends.
 “She’s a darling,” Y/N warmly smiled.
 “She is... Listen, Y/N... I was wondering... if you’re not busy tomorrow night... if maybe you’d like to have dinner with me...”
 “Like a date?”
 Bucky’s face flushed.
 “I mean, if you want it to be...”
 Y/N kissed his cheek.
 “I’d like that. How about 7:00 at the restaurant around the from the Childhood Dreams building. They do an amazing meal...”
 “Sounds perfect,” he smiled.
 This was one the best days of Bucky’s life. Not only did he pull off the perfect party for his daughter but he took a step back into the dating world with an incredible woman who somehow stole his heart.
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diamond-coral · 3 years ago
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The Heist- Part Two
Steve x Reader Chapter Summary: Steve sees you working at a club. Now Steve wants you...and he’ll have you.
Series Warnings: dark, rape/non-con, kidnapping, stripper themes, swearing, crime
Chapter Warnings: male masturbation, swearing, stripper themes, kidnapping, crime, mild violence, threats of rape/non-con, creepy crazy stevo
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Steve had begrudgingly went to the strip club with Bucky and Sam because, as Sam said, ‘Modern women are somethin’ else compared to the 1940’s.’. Bucky was much more enthusiastic to see how much things had changed as a once been ladies’ man from the 40’s even if it meant having to go with Sam who bickered with him every five minutes. And while Bucky’s enthusiasm remained as they entered the club, the blaring music, flashing lights, and women in skimpy outfits had Steve remaining unimpressed.
Until he saw you.
You weren’t on the stage but rather talking to a coworker in the back of the room, a tray of drinks in one hand and a smile on your face that could light up a room. An honest, genuine smile that stood out in a room filled with nothing but empty sultry smiles given by dancers. Your coworker said something, and you threw your head back and let out a laugh that Steve could’ve sworn he had heard ringing all the way across the club over the blaring music.
You were perfect.
While you were still scantily clad in nothing but a light pink shimmery sheer top that showed your bra perfectly cupping your breasts, a pair of barely their black shorts, and black heels that had his eyes dragging up and down your legs, your demeanor and posture was more relaxed, and that’s what he loved. You weren’t sticking your tits out in front of you or pushing your ass back, but were rather slouched a little, eyes shimmering with excitement as you talked. What Steve saw of you was raw and authentic, and he loved it.
Sam’s voice interrupted Steve from his daydreaming, and Steve shot him a look of irritation causing Sam to raise his hands in defense.
“Woah there loverboy,” Sam chuckled. “I was just gonna suggest, you should ask for a dance from that girl you’re ogling over.”
“And before you go over and court her with your righteousness and whisk her away to waltz like prince charming, he means a lapdance, punk,” Bucky says while taking a sip of his drink.
“I- I was’t ogling,” Steve sputtered, but let out a sigh of defeat at Sam’s raised eyebrow. “I’m not gonna ask for a lapdance. Besides, she seems to be just waiting tables. I wouldn’t wanna interrupt-”
“You’re hopeless,” Sam teased as he brought his fingers to his mouth to let out a shrill cab whistle. You turned, and Sam caught your attention, beckoning you over with two fingers.
“Hiya fellas,” you said, and Steve frowned a little at the sultry voice you put on. “What can I help you with?”
“Just another round of drinks, sugar. Oh- and-” Sam leaned to whisper something in your ear and Steve noticed your eyes widening a little before your gaze snapped to him, a small smile on your painted lips.
“Of course,” you responded to Sam. “I’ll be back with your drinks shortly.”
As you turned to leave, Steve frowned at Sam. “What did you tell her,” he asked.
“Oh nothing much. Just mentioned that THE Captain America was looking for a little bit of fun tonight.”
Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a groan. “Sam you dumbass.”
“Hey, he’s doing more about it than you,” Bucky interjected. “Sometimes it’s just sad watching you when you just sit and do - oh shit here she’s comes.”
“Alright, and I’ve got another round of drinks,” you said cheerfully while distributing the glasses. “And you, Mr. Rogers…” You sat on one of Steve’s thick thighs while placing your hands on the collar of his button up shirt and smoothing it down. “You’re friend told me you’re lookin’ for something… special tonight?”
Steve’s throat was dry and he was sure you could feel his heart practically beating out of his chest. “Oh well...I um-I.”
“What Mr. Womanizer would like to say is that he accepts your offer,” Sam offered, and Steve shot him what was probably the one-hundredth dirty look of the night.
“Well then.” You got off his lap and tugged on his arm. “I’d be happy to oblige.”
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Half an hour later, Steve returned a mess. The first few buttons of button up were undone, his hair was tousled, his cheeks flushed, and his heart hadn’t stopped racing.
“Good time?” Bucky inquired with a smirk.
Steve could barely form any words other than ‘where’s Sam’ to which Bucky pointed to the crowd of sweaty dancing bodies where Sam was shamelessly grinding on some woman.
“Oh God, I need a drink.” Steve fixed his hair with one hand while the other dipped into his pocket to retrieve a flask of Asgardian liquor Thor had given him.
“Was she that good?” 
“Well yes, but it wasn’t just the dance. It was her,”  Steve answered while burying his face in his hands. He felt like the scrawny kid from Brooklyn again. Completely flustered as he chased after a girl totally out of his league. “I don’t know Buck, she’s just-she’s just perfect.”
“Stevie, look around you. Every woman here is practically perfect. And they’re goddesses. That girl is just a girl.”
“No it’s just- you don’t understand. She’s just…” Steve let out an exasperated sigh and Bucky’s eyes softened.
“Wow you really like her don’t ya?” Steve just nodded in reply. “Well what if we came back again when she’s working?”
“No that wouldn’t work,” Steve said. “But...I think I have an idea.”
“And am I involved in this idea at all?”
“Maybe.” Steve laughed at his friend who groaned.
Steve then continued to explain his plan. He pointed out the coworker you had been friendly with when he first saw you, and asked Bucky to get some information out of her since he was the less recognizable out of the two. Steve needed to see you again. Not just that...he needed you. You were just so perfect for him, and Steve knew that the moment he laid eyes on you. The genuineness of your smile and laugh, just the way you were so authentic amidst your surroundings just showed you didn’t really belong in this environment or even this time period of imitation and phonies. But you belonged with him. And he’d preserve that authenticity. 
Bucky just simply nodded, and at first Steve was nervous that his best friend was going to call him crazy, but after a bit, Bucky got up and snatched Steve’s flask while flashing him a grin.
“Bout time we got you a girl, huh pal?”
Steve sighed in relief, and as Bucky trotted off, he went to find Sam.
Steve explained to Sam that he was gonna go home while Bucky worked some “wingman magic” and Sam started letting out fits of laughter at how THE Captain America was ‘down bad’. 
Finally, after Sam had finally calmed down, he wished him goodbye and headed home.
He had some things to take care of.
________________________________________________________________
As Steve guided his hand up and down his shaft, all he could think about was you.
Your tits, your ass that had ground on his crotch at the club, your red lips around he imagined on his cock. You’d probably use your skilled hands as well, not being able to fit his entire member into your mouth. 
Steve’s thoughts didn’t stop there.
He thought about how your hips moved while in the private dance room. He thought about how although you were undeniably sexy, you were also so kind to him, once in a while asking if everything was okay and if he wanted anything else from you. He thought about how you simply smiled and let out your angelic laugh as Steve fumbled and stuttered, simply putting your hands over his and telling him everything was okay and he could sit back and relax, not having to take charge after a long day of commanding people. The light pink color of your lingerie was so beautifully innocent as your body moved lewdly in contrast. And he loved it.
Steve came with a shout to the image ingrained in his mind.
________________________________________________________________
A few minutes after Steve had cleaned up and taken a much needed cold shower, he received a call from Bucky.
“You’re right,” Bucky’s voice spoke through the phone. “Two drops of that Asgardian shit and she was completely mentally clocked out. Told me everything about your girl.” 
As Bucky told Steve your name, Steve tried it out on his tongue for himself.
“Also told me a little bit of a little side job they got goin on. Your girl’s a bit of a criminal, Stevie. Sure you still want her?”
“I’m sure she has her reasons.”
“Well you’re right in that actually. According to...Bella-yeah I think that’s her name-,” Bucky recounted. “They steal from people to pay for rent and art school. And I just so happened to tell her about some skeevy old timer government worker who happened to be loaded from scamming low income taxpayers. Who also happens to live at your address.”
“Wait, you want her to rob me?!” Steve exclaimed.
“Will you just let me finish?” Bucky took Steve’s silence as an opportunity to continue. “I told Bella no one would be home while your girl does the job, but obviously you’ll be home so she can’t get away. She’s literally coming to you on a silver platter pal. Could it get any better than that?”
Steve took a moment to consider the situation before replying. “You’re right. Thanks pal. I really owe you one.”
Bucky chuckled. “Well I got one hell of a blow job so I’ll say we’re almost even. Anyway, she’ll be comin in a week, so that’ll give you plenty of time to prepare.”
_______________________________________________________________
You awoke slowly to sunlight streaming through your apartment window, your bed feeling more comfortable than usual, and a warm arm wrapped around your-
What the hell?
Your body thrashed as you jolted awake and flung yourself away from the body next to you in the bed that very much wasn’t yours in the apartment that was always not yours. Steve Rogers just sat up on his elbows and gave a groggy smile at your frazzled state.
“Mornin’ sweetheart.”
You recalled your memory, trying to see if this was some sort of drunken hookup, and it all came back to you. The heist, him coming home early.
“Didn’t mother ever tell you stealing is wrong?” were the words he had said before he had grabbed your hair in an iron grip and smashed your head on the near coffee table. Everything was black after that.
“Oh my God...you,” you began to back away from him.
“I what, sweetheart?” he mused. “Last time I checked, this is my apartment, and you were the one breaking and entering.”
You scrambled backwards off the bed, but just as you were about to reach the bedroom door, something cold and hard pulled against your ankle causing you to topple face first onto his carpet. Turning your head, you observed a metal cuff secured around your ankle with a chain leading back to the foot of the bed. 
Steve used the time you took panicking and hyperventilating to get out of bed and leisurely stretch his arms as if this was a normal occurrence. He approached you cautiously as if you were a wild animal and bent down to softly cup your face with a large hand.
“It’s okay, doll, I didn’t hurt you. Just let you sleep a bit before I caught you up to speed today.”
“Did- did you…,” you sniffled at the thought of what that man could’ve done to you while you slept.
“No. God no!” You nerves calmed a little bit as you were reassured that America’s hero was still the gentlemanly golden boy you met at the club. That was before he tilted your chin to meet his sinister gaze. “I wanted our first time to be while you were awake.”
Your heart dropped. This man was crazy.
You began to frantically yank at the chain on your ankle and your breathing became shorter.
“Hey. Hey! Stop it!” he urged before grabbing both of your hands and holding them in a steel grip. “Listen. I know this is all..new...but you need me. And I need you. When I saw you at the club, you were just so perfect. You’re not like those other women. You don’t belong there. You don’t belong in this life. I can take care of you. I will take care of you.” A tear slipped from your eye at his words but he just brushed it away with his thumb and continued. “You just don’t understand yet. When I saw you, I just knew you were meant for me. You’re perfect, doll.”
All you did was stare at him in disbelief and mutter, “You’re crazy.”
He went to soothe you again and brush a lock of hair away from your face, but you thrashed and said it louder.
“You’re crazy, you’re fucking crazy!”
“Doll, you don’t understand. I love you. And you’ll love me. I promise just give it some time and-”
“No you’re deranged. You’re FUCKING DELIRIOUS!!” you screech as your hand shot out and slapped him across the cheek.
The room went dead silent. You froze, and so did he. You had just slapped Steve Rogers across the face. You slapped the pure muscle mass six foot super soldier and called him delirious, and he looked hurt. His face was painted with a heartbroken look of regret, disbelief, and sorrow. But not from the slap. It’s like your words had hit him like a ten-ton truck, and for a second you saw doubt flicker across his eyes as if realizing that everything he imagined was in his head. And in that doubt was your hope. Your hope that this man would come to his senses and let you go.
“Steve...please, you have to realize this is wrong,” you said softly as he gave you a broken look. In that look you saw the scrawny kid from Brooklyn in the 1940s who only knew rejection, and your heart broke just a little bit. “What you’re feeling...it isn’t love.”
All of a sudden his demeanor changed. Any doubt in his eyes was wiped away in a nanosecond and replaced by a fierce look of determination. His face contorted into a snarl as he yanked you up with him by your hair and spun you around to press your front against the well.
“You dumb bitch,” he growled into your ear. “You think you don't need me when you’re a pathetic thief who whores herself out every night.”
You writhed in his hold but he just gripped your hair harder and let out a breathy laugh.
“You know...for someone like you to stoop so low as to work at that club...it makes me think. You wanna be treated like a whore?” he seethed. “Fine. I’ll treat you like a whore.”
a/n: don’t worry I don’t think working at a strip club is “low” at all. just some classic sexist bs from our good old 1940′s fav
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somewhatgreatexpectations · 4 years ago
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Writing’s On The Wall (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)
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Hello, again! We’ve finally reached... Civil War! Loosely inspired by Sam Smith’s “Writing’s On The Wall”. Some of the actual dialogue from the film is used here with some adjustments. Let me know what you think.
Summary: How the reader and Wanda are involved in the events of Civil War. Will they be on the same side? Or will they have to fight each other?
“I want to feel love, run through my blood, tell me is this where I give it all up? For you I have to risk it all, 'cause the writing's on the wall”
Half a year had passed since you left the comfort of the Avengers tower and the path to healing had never felt more manageable. You should have known that wouldn’t last. Peace never seemed to last around you. 
You didn’t know what to expect when Fury called you out of the blue and told you to turn on the news, but it was certainly not what you saw. A quiet curse escaped your lips as you watched the news of what happened in Lagos play out before you.
For at least an hour you listened to them completely annihilate Wanda’s character and talk about her like she was a monster who couldn’t be controlled. A threat. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. She made a mistake – she was trying to help. You could only imagine how she was feeling.
The news continued to pile on the next couple of days which is when you caught wind of the Sokovian accords. The information being relayed to you in the form of a demand from one Tony Stark who said you needed to sign since you were technically still an Avenger. You told him you would need time to think about it because the fact of the matter was, you didn’t agree with it. Not that you actually told him the second part. 
Shortly after your phone call with Stark, Steve also reached out. Though he was reluctant to have to ask you for help when he knew what he would be dragging you back into. You agreed within seconds. Not only was it what was right, but Steve was your first lifeline. You’d always offer him help. You’d always stand by him. You had made a promise. That’s just who you were.
Due to some loose ends, you were the last to arrive at the parking garage Steve had designated as the meeting location. 
The sight of Wanda before you after all this time shocked you and rendered you immobile for a moment. 
As if she could sense your presence, she looked over and made eye contact with you, her eyes widening ever so slightly. You shook your head, you had healed – moved on. She wasn’t your focus anymore. The look in her eyes stuck with you though, it was something you had never seen before. You could feel her eyes follow you. Even after all this time, it slightly hurt you still.
Wanda, on the other hand, felt breathless at the sight of you. The one she thought she’d never get to see again. She could feel her heart beating so hard in her chest she was sure everyone in the area could hear it. It took everything in her not to run over to you, take you in her arms and never let go. Even after all this time, she missed you still. 
“Cap, what have you gotten yourself into now?” you questioned playfully, smiling brightly when Steve turned to look at you.
Despite the circumstance, Steve was genuinely glad to see you, to physically see how much better you looked after your time away rather than just hear it in a phone call. “Y/n. I hate how this is how we’re being reunited but it’s good to see you.” He pulled you into a tight embrace which you gladly returned. 
For the first time in her life, Wanda envied Steve Rogers. 
When he released you, Steve turned and addressed everyone else. “Alright everyone, go and get ready. Time is of the essence… And I can’t imagine they’re going to let us go easily.”
Before you could walk away, Steve threw a duffle bag at you with a wink before he walked off to put on his suit. You looked into the bag and noticed a sleek black outfit with blue and white accents. New gear, you thought to yourself, nice.
“Hi, Y/n.” you heard an all too familiar voice say softly from behind you. 
With only slight hesitation, you turned. “Hello, Wanda.” You greeted neutrally, proud of yourself for not feeling as broken as you once did at the mere sight of her. 
Wanda smiled slightly at you, her nerves at an all-time high from being this close to you once again. “I’m surprised to see you here. You look… good.” She said shyly. 
An amused smile spread over your lips. “Thanks. I thought I told you I’d always be on your side.” You said with a wink. The referenced conversation felt as though it had happened in another life. 
A pink hue covered her cheeks which you took note of curiously. “I’m actually glad you are.” She admitted honestly. “I’ve had a lot of time to think these last few months and it’s made me realize that I-“
“I’m genuinely sorry to do this, ladies, but we’ve really got to go.” Steve interrupted. Looking apologetically at Wanda who appeared disheartened.
You waved your hand dismissively. Allowing yourself to get invested in even just a conversation with Wanda wasn’t something you’d allow yourself. “Not an issue at all, Cap.” You replied lightly, pretending you didn’t see the way Wanda’s looked down dejectedly. In that moment you wished you didn’t know her so well.
Once you were all gathered, Steve separated you all into teams that would be spread throughout the airport, Clint and Wanda would be together, Sam would stay with Bucky and you would be with Steve. Scott would be waiting in hiding for when the perfect opportunity presented itself. Without knowing all the variables, it was difficult to form a perfect plan, but you all worked with what you had. Once that was settled, it was time to get into position. 
“Y/n.” Wanda took hold of your hand as you were turning to leave. “Do you think we could finish that conversation later, whenever that may be?” She asked hopefully. You took note of how she was holding her breath.
“Sure, Wanda.” You eventually replied, watching the way she breathed out graciously. “I’ve got to get into position now though, Steve is already out there.” 
Wanda lightly squeezed the hand that you hadn’t realized she was still holding. Awkwardly, you pulled it away. A short look of disappointed flashed across her features. “Be careful out there, okay?”
“You too.” You replied neutrally, this conversation was veering into dangerous territory. With one final nod you took off in a sprint to get into position, not seeing the way Wanda stayed behind for a moment. 
Even just the minor action made her aware of the fact that you’d changed, you used to always look back. She looked at your retreating figure with worried eyes until it disappeared from sight.
Almost as soon as you got into position, you could hear Sam begin calling you over the coms. “Y/n, go out to Steve, give them some numbers. Remember your points and the mission.”
“Haven’t been out of the game that long, Wilson.” You replied with an eye roll before heading out to where Steve was trapped.
The end of Tony’s speech caught your attention. “… in Clint, rescuing Wanda from a place she doesn’t even want to leave, a safe place-“ His words halted as you came to a stop by Steve’s side.
For a moment Tony just looked between you and Steve, obviously surprised to see you there. “And you brought the kid back into the chaos for this? To make her a criminal? Real nice, Rogers.” Tony quipped angrily.
Steve opened his mouth to respond when you beat him to it. “I can speak for myself, thanks. Hi Tony, good to see you again.” You matched his sarcasm with a mocking wave of your fingers. “If it means I can fight for what’s right then I’ll gladly join the fray again.”
“You heard her.” Steve replied with a small chuckle. 
Wanda couldn’t help but watch you with a small smile of admiration from her position. She truly missed being able to see this version of you. Always determined to do what was right. Clint shook his head in amusement at her but didn’t say anything.
From your place you could see Tony’s frustration grow as he addressed Steve again. “I’m trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart.”
“You did that when you signed.” Steve replied coolly.
Tony looked away before looking back at Steve, his anger more present. “Alright, we’re done. You’re going to turn Barnes over and you’re going to come with us. Now. Because it’s us.” He paused slightly. “C’mon…” he added, and you almost felt bad for Tony.
Over your coms you could hear Sam let you both know that he had found the quinjet. That’s when chaos ensued. Your focus was keeping Rhodey back from Steve when you saw Tony begin shooting at Wanda and Clint, with a flick of your wrist Rhodey sunk into the floor, completely encased in the concrete that was once flat underneath his feet. 
The sound of his suit slowly chipping away at the defense let you know that it wasn’t too damaging as you began running towards Tony, using your powers to propel you forward. That was until a truck got thrown right in your path and exploded mere inches from you. You ducked and rolled, jumping back up. “C’mon.” you mumbled to yourself. Noticing the red wisps that surrounded you during the explosion.
You made eye contact with Wanda, who’s eyes were worried as she lowered her hands, the red wisps that were lingering around you fading. You nodded in thanks, Wanda just quirked her lips up and nodded back.
“Sorry!” Scott said sheepishly to you over coms. 
You refocused and noticed the path to the quinjet clear for you all, each of you sprinting in its direction. 
The quinjet was quickly approaching as each of you sped up even more until a beam of light cut into the ground before you, effectively stopping you all in your tracks. 
“For the collective good, you must surrender now.” Vision said, his eyes on Wanda whose expression never changed. Each member of Tony’s team formed a defensive line in front of the jet. 
Both sides were in a stand-off, and it was obvious neither was willing to back down. “What do we do, Cap?” you questioned. 
“We fight.” Steve said without a moment of hesitation, determination clear in his eyes as he began running forward. Everyone else followed suit, both teams clashing in the middle.
The scene was so frenzied, and your focus was on fighting Tony with your powers that it wasn’t until Sam spoke over coms that you focused in again. You easily agreed with the plan that not all of you could make it out. It had to be Steve and Bucky. 
The sound of Wanda’s scream distracted you, thankfully Scott had also distracted Tony just in time. 
“Wanda!” You shouted on reflex already beginning to run over when you saw her fall to the floor, clutching her head. You were able to catch the building that was falling on Steve and Bucky with your powers for a moment before allowing it to crash down behind them. 
When you turned your attention back to Wanda, you noticed Vision come to a stop beside her and take her in his arms. The conversation between them looked intimate. She looked up from her place in his arms for a moment and met your eyes. Her eyes looked as though they were trying to convey something to you when they had suddenly gone wide as you felt a strong force make contact with your head then everything went black. 
When you finally came to your head felt groggy and achy, the way it did when Hydra used to run experiments on you. You tried to lift a hand to rub at your head when you noticed resistance and something cool around your neck. Out of confusion, your eyes shot open only to feel anxiety seep into your bones when you took note of the straight jacket that you were confined in and the collar locked uncomfortably around your neck.
“Hello?” you called, hating the way fear crept into your voice.
“Y/n. You’re awake.” You heard Wanda respond, relief obvious in her voice. You looked around for a moment trying to locate her voice when you finally noticed her across a brightly lit circular sort of area, in her own straight jacket and collar. Her eyes that were so bright before the battle now dull.
Fruitlessly you tried to use your powers to manipulate the walls of the cell to no avail. “Where are we?”
“They call it the raft.” You heard Clint’s bitter voice float through the walls. “We’re criminals now.”
The anxiety you felt began to overwhelm you as flashes of being tied up in a similar manner and watching someone you loved be harmed went through your mind. “How long have we been here?”
“Three days,” Wanda began hesitantly almost as if she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell you more. 
Clint interrupted her. “They’ve been knocking you out each time you come to, even for a second. First, they doped you up. The last time they just hit you. They’re not big fans of Steve over here, you’re the closest they could get to him.” Anger was clear in his words. 
You thought you heard him mumble something about putting Wanda directly across from you, so she’d be forced to watch. 
Wanda looked resigned with purple bruising under her eyes. You were hesitant to ask. “What happened to you?” she shook her head.
Thankfully Sam answered for her. “They’re not big fans of her either. The one good thing Tony did was stop what they were doing to both of you.”
Before you could ask anything else, the sound of the door opening caught your attention, all of your attention it seemed. A moment later, Steve walked in, a relieved smile on his face as he took in each of you. 
“About time.” Sam said gruffly.
Without hesitation Steve began taking you each out of your cell and loaded onto the jet he had waiting. 
You were watching the prison shrink in the distance from the safety of the quinjet when you felt someone take a seat next to you. You didn’t need to look to know who it was.
“Do you think we can have that talk now?”
Part 8! Don’t worry there’s more to come, I’m just releasing one title ahead at a time. This part was semi-difficult to write because I didn’t want to add too much of the fight scene because then it would be extremely long and this was more of a set-up chapter for Wanda and the readers story. To establish where they are after separating and bring them back into each others lives. Anyway, as always, hope you all enjoyed! Comments and thoughts always welcome. :) (bonus points if you can tell me what part was referenced in this chapter ;)
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cjsinkythoughts · 4 years ago
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Rocks, Shoulders, and Ears
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
Word Count: 3501
Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Major Angst in this one, guys, Loads of Feels (sorry not sorry), John Walker being a douche (I really don’t like the guy)
A/N: I’m SO SORRY! I promise I was planning on it being shorter, but I went a little overkill with the angst! There’s just so many feelings and not enough space in my heart and soul, so I had to pour them out here! You get to see more of Reader and Sam’s relationship in this one and there’s major Bucky Feels towards the end (in my defense, this is based on the Couples Therapy half of the episode).
I’m really hoping we get to see Bucky go to Louisiana next episode! I’m holding out for it! I have a few ideas that include Sarah, but I need the episode! Ugh! Now we have to wait a whole ‘nother week! I really shouldn’t write three chapters on one episode in one day. I just couldn’t help myself!
Anyways! Please enjoy this part and thank you so much for all your support! Seriously, it’s meant so much to me, especially after the week I’ve had! If you haven’t checked out the previous parts, my FATWS Series Masterlist is HERE, so please go read those first. Like always, this isn’t beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Enjoy, babes!
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!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!
The last thing you remembered was falling asleep in Bucky’s arms after walking a few miles. And a hospital in DC wasn’t exactly what you preferred waking up to, but it’s what happened. Turned out, not only was your shoulder dislocated and your thigh was strained, but you had a mild concussion. Your arm was in a sling and your palm, which you had completely forgotten about after you wrapped it while on Bucky’s back, was wrapped properly. Luckily, your thigh wasn’t too bad, but they wanted to put you on crutches, which you refused immediately.
You had to get out of that building. You had no idea where the guys went, which was weird because you were sure they’d never leave you alone. Especially in a hospital.
You quickly snuck your way through the halls after grabbing your bag which - thank God - was left on the seat besides your bed and changing into an extra pair of clothes. 
You tried calling Bucky’s phone, the one he had specifically for you, which he always always answered. He even made an excuse to go to the bathroom once when you accidentally called in the middle of a therapy session. Nothing. You called the number four times before trying Sam’s phone.
It clicked on the first try.
“Hey. Listen, sorry for leaving-”
“Where the hell are you?”
You heard him sigh. “I was just about to explain, so hang on a second there. You weren’t waking up, probably because that concussion you forgot to mention to us-”
“In my defense, I didn’t know.”
“Sure you didn’t.” You rolled your eyes, throwing your free hand up, exasperated. “Anyways, Bucky wanted me to meet someone, we’ll talk about that when you inevitably get here, put we had a bit of trouble and Bucky was arrested-”
“What?!”
“Chill your pants, Y/L/N. Just listen. We’re in Baltimore. I’ll text you the address. Get here soon and I’ll explain the whole thing. We’ve been here for a couple hours, but there’s people on their way and we’re getting everything situated right now.”
“Okay. Fine. But you’re in trouble.”
“Don’t I know it, babe. Now hurry your cute little ass here. We’ve got stuff to talk about.”
*****************
The ride from DC to Baltimore is usually an hour or so, but you’ve got resources, especially in the nation’s capital, and riding the bike you got, being able to go way over the speed limit? You got there in half the time. Being an Avenger really does have its perks.
The moment you got there, you hopped off the bike, not even bothering to turn it off, and stormed into the precinct. You headed straight over to the desk, but a pair of hands caught you by your uninjured arm before you could make a scene.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Sam spoke softly, squeezing your bicep gently. “He’s okay, alright?”
“Why is he-”
“He missed his court-mandated therapy session.” Sam informed you, pulling you over to where he had been sitting previously. “There was a warrant out for his arrest. They had to bring him in, but it’s fine. His therapist’s been contacted. She should be here any minute to get him out.”
Your head fell back at his words. His therapy. How could you forget? You let Bucky complain to you about it and played along sometimes, but you really did think it was good for him and you tried supporting him. Yet you made him miss it and now he’s in trouble.
“Hey. Y/N. Look at me.” You found Sam’s worried eyes, his hand coming up to hold the side of your neck. “He’s okay. He’ll be out in just a bit. It’s fine.”
“It’s my fault, Sam.”
“No. It’s not. He’s a grown ass man who made the decision to skip.”
You shook your head, holding his wrist for something to anchor you down. “No, Sammy. I brought him along. I should’ve been more responsible-”
“I know we’ve joked around about you being in charge and stuff, but…you know it’s not all on your shoulders, right?” Sam tilted his head slightly, eyebrow pinched in confusion making his eyes narrow. 
You turned your head, not wanting to look at him. You didn’t need another set of deep eyes to fall into. “Sammy…I promised him I’d look after you.”
“I know. And that’s fine. But looking after us - looking after him - doesn’t mean you have to be there to hold his hand and take the fall for him. He’s not a child. Hell, he’s a hundred years old. Tell me you understand that.”
Licking your lips, you closed your eyes and shook your head again. “I-I can’t-”
“Is that why you’re obsessed with finding Wanda?”
You frowned at his question, eyes snapping to his. “I’m worried about her, Sam.”
“I am too, but she can handle herself. And if she doesn’t want to be found, you have to let her be. I know the Avengers were your only family. I know how much Steve meant to you-”
“No.” You pulled away rather harshly, digging your nails into your palms, trying not to cry, ignoring the wound you were irritating. “No, you don’t. How could you understand my feelings for Steve when I don’t understand them myself?”
Sam always had this ability to make anyone feel important, just by looking them in the eye. It was something you always admired about him; the way his smile could light up a room, those warm eyes making everyone’s fears go away. They reminded you of hot chocolate. Something that could soothe your worries, comfort you, warm your very soul from the ice tragedy and heartache tend to big on.
You promised yourself you wouldn’t cry in front of people, but with the way he was looking at you, it was hard to keep the tears from slipping.
“You loved him, Y/N. Why is it so hard for you to see that?”
“I didn’t - I wasn’t in love with him, Sam.” You argued, wiping your cheeks aggressively and turning, crossing your arms defensively.
“What do you call it then?”
It was a rhetorical question, Sam copying your movements and sitting straight to watch for Bucky coming out. A rhetorical question that you didn’t know the answer to. Because you weren’t in love with Steve. No. Maybe you had been, but somewhere along the way he passed your heart to Bucky. So why did it hurt so bad?
You refused to dwell on it anymore, clearing your throat and dabbing at your eyes one more time before changing the topic. “Why are we in Baltimore?”
“Bucky wanted me to meet someone. Isaiah. You know him?” Sam turned back to you, his warm eyes shifting into something else. Suspicion? A bit of anger? Annoyance? You couldn’t tell.
“Isaiah? I don’t think I know any Isaiahs. And definitely not here. Why? Who is he?”
Sam shook his head, eyes darting around the lobby. “We’ll talk about it later.”
You nodded, although now your curiosity had peaked and you wondered who this guy was that made Sam so agitated. While you waited, you felt your eyes drooping and you let your head fall onto Sam’s shoulder, who chuckled.
“You’re still tired? You know you slept for, like, twelve hours, right?”
“I haven’t been sleeping much.”
Sam turned his head to kiss yours. “Y/N, I know you want to care for everyone, but you’ve gotta take care of yourself too.”
“I know.”
“Okay.” And with that, the subject dropped, Sam pulling out his phone while you rested your eyes.
It was another ten minutes or so before Sam’s name was called and the both of you stood up to greet the speaker. A woman, Dr. Raynor. Bucky’s infamous therapist.
And speaking of infamous. The moment you heard his voice, you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping it was just your brain malfunctioning. And then he was walking towards you, calling Bucky ‘Bucky’ like they were old pals and he was saving him from something terrible.
Your face scrunched up as Walker talked about stopping Bucky’s regular therapy sessions. “He’s too valuable of an asset to have him tied up-”
“Don’t call him an asset.” You snapped. “He’s a human being with needs, and therapy-”
“He’s a super soldier with skills that we need.” Walker cut in, making you scowl as he turned back to Raynor.
You scoffed in disbelief at his words, turning on your heel and walking away before he did, heading straight for Bucky, who lifted his right arm, wrapping it around your shoulders once you were close enough.
“Are you okay?” You whispered, closing your eyes and trying to relax in his hold, breathing him in.
“Are you? Should you be walking? What did-”
You shook your head. “I’m fine.”
“Really?”
“Promise.” You sighed out with a nod, squeezing him once more before pulling back as Raynor stepped forwards, ordering Bucky and Sam to do a session with her. You almost laughed when Sam tried refusing, a little chuckle actually leaving your lips when Bucky slumped, dragging his feet like a kid going to the principal’s office.
You followed, Bucky holding the door open for you. “Thanks, Buck.”
“Of course, doll.” He gave a small smile, before walking in after you, Sam letting out a, “hey!” when Bucky shut the door on him, making you roll your eyes. You let the corners of your mouth tick up slightly in amusement. Yes, they annoyed the hell out of you, but you had to admit it was pretty funny sometimes.
“I believe I asked for James and Sam, Ms. Y/L/N.”
“It’s Agent, actually, and I think I’m gonna sit in.”
Raynor narrowed her eyes. “I don’t think-”
“That wasn’t a request.” You threw her words to Sam back at her, making Sam smirk. You shot him a wink as she relented with a sigh. 
“Fine. Just as a spectator. Don't interrupt.”
You raise your hands in surrender, slipping around the table to stand in the corner as your fellas sank down into the seats across the table from her.
A small puff of laughter came from you at the lack of response when she asked one of them to start. She shot you a warning look over her shoulder, but you shrugged. You couldn’t help it; it was like all those times back in grade school when a teacher asked for a volunteer to read in a classroom full of rowdy kids and crickets followed.
Once she mentioned the next exercise was used for couples, you had to laugh, making both men shoot you begging pouts.
“Y/N.” Raynor glared at you, so you controlled yourself, gesturing for her to continue.
Her miracle question did work so well, neither of them cooperating well.
She didn’t even bother with you when you started cackling after she mentioned the “soul-gazing exercise” and Bucky thanked her, Sam commenting that he would like this one. You gave a teasing wolf-whistle when they got close, one of Bucky’s thighs between Sam’s and vice versa.
“Doll.” Bucky whined at you.
“Listen here, smartass-”
Raynor cleared her throat, cutting Sam off from finishing his statement towards you. You leaned back against the wall, crossing your arms with a smirk. After all the bickering and side taking they’ve put her through, letting you enjoy this was the least they could do, and they knew it.
Of course, this exercise didn’t work out either. A staring contest. Children. She was best friends with literal children.
But then something happened. Something you never thought would happen. Raynor asked Bucky why Sam aggravated him, and Bucky looked over to you, his eye growing sad in a way they only did when Steve was involved.
“Steve believed in you.” Bucky told him earnestly. “He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield? That is…that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing.  So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me.”
You heard his voice crack a little at the end as he slumped down in his seat, you jaw dropping slightly. You listened to the rest of the conversation, catching the way Sam grew irritated again, something that you didn’t previously think was possible, but was happening more and more now.
Why wasn’t Sam talking to you? Why was he holding all this in suddenly? And why…Bucky…he didn’t tell you that. Why didn’t he say anything? How could he ever feel…
But you knew how he could feel like that. Yes, Steve believed in him so much that he tore the Avengers apart for him…but he was the only one willing to do that for him. Yeah, you and Sam and Wanda and Clint, you all joined their side but, being honest, it wasn’t because you believed in Bucky. It was because you believed in Steve. Of course, it was different now. You believed in Bucky with your entire being, and you believed in Sam with your heart and soul, but…did either of them know that? Did they believe you when you told them? Or did you not tell them enough? This whole time you thought you were doing right by Steve - trying you damn hardest to watch out for them. But it obviously wasn’t enough. And that was on you, no matter what Sam said.
You read people. That’s what you’ve always done, that’s what you’d always do. It was the reason you earned your spot on the team. You read people and situations and could figure your way into their heads in a second. Years and years of undercover work taught you how to do that and how to protect yourself while doing so.
So why? How? How did you miss something this big? How did you miss the way Sam was holding onto something? Why did you ignore the vexation in his tone for the last couple weeks? How did you miss that Bucky was hurting that deeply? Why didn’t you do anything more for him?
You left the room before either of the boys, but you heard Sam standing up as you walked out the door.
You should’ve known you weren’t the only one holding things in. Of course they were. The difference is, you were supposed to be their rock, the thing they could hold onto to ground themselves, the shoulder for them to cry on, and the ear lent to them whenever they needed someone to listen. That was your job. It wasn’t their job. Not for you. Your rock - your shoulder, your ear - he left you. And you thought, after all he did for you, if you just returned the favor for his best friends, you’d…you dunno. You’d be closer to him, maybe.
But you couldn’t. Because you weren’t Steve Rogers. And you knew that from the start, but you had to try. You tried. And it wasn’t working. He made it seem so easy when he did it for you. Clearly you didn’t give him enough credit for dealing with all your shit on top of his own.
“Doll.” You didn’t stop walking, needing to get outside for some fresh air. “Doll, hold on. Wait a minute.”
He grabbed your arm as you made it outside, spinning you to face him. “You didn’t tell me.” You spoke quietly, your voice fragile as you stared at him, confusion and hurt in your eyes. Were you really that bad at doing your job? Did you really already fail him? He asked you to do one thing…
“I didn’t…I didn’t want you to deal with my problems.” You opened your mouth, but he shook his head, holding your face between his hands. “I’m not stupid, Y/N. I know something’s going on with you. You’re good at hiding your nightmares at night, but I’m better. You’re jumpier than usual. Quieter. Every time Wanda’s brought up, you turn away. And the other day? On the truck? You froze. I was watching, doll. It was just a second, but you froze. You never freeze.”
“It’s not your job to worry about me, Buck-”
He frowned, tilting his head. “Not my job? Aren’t we friends? Isn’t that what friends do? Or am I just a job to you? I know you promised him to look after me. Is that all I am to you? A responsibility?”
You shook your head vigorously, holding onto his wrists. “No. No, Bucky, I just-”
“Do you think he was wrong about me?”
Salty diamonds ran down your cheeks as you clenched your eyes shut and shook your head. “No.”
“Did you ever believe in me? Did you ever care or was it all just because Steve? Is Steve the only reason you tolerate me?”
“Don’t say that. God, please don’t say that.” You begged quietly, meeting his gaze again. Every beautiful detail was laced with devastation, eyes imploring her to make him feel better. “Of course I believe in you. I have since Wakanda, you know that. Yes, okay, maybe Steve is why I helped you at first, but-but…I care about you, James. So much so that it hurts sometimes. He wasn’t wrong about you. Or Sammy. You both mean so much to me. Okay?”
You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly, nodding slightly. You both simultaneously moved to get closer, him pulling you while you stepped into his chest, arms around his waist. His arms were tight around your shoulder, holding you just as firm as the kiss he planted on your forehead.
Sam came out, planting himself besides you as you pulled away, Bucky wiping your eyes. “I feel better.” He huffed out sarcastically, making you smack him in the arm. “Ow! Yeesh. Women these days.”
The sudden siren of one of the parked police cars made the three of you look over, spotting Walker and Hoskins. You groaned. “Did he see that?”
“Hey,” Bucky caught your jaw between his fingers, shaking his head. “Who cares? It’s between us and us only. Right?” You nodded, making him kiss your forehead again, a whisper of “attagirl” against your skin. You hadn’t heard that from him in a while.
“Gentlemen!” Walker waved them over, nodding at you. “And lady.” The three of you reluctantly walked over, Bucky going to lean on the police car Walker and Hoskins were near and you hopped up to sit on the hood of the police car across from them, Sam besides you.
You got information from Walker, who was once again trying to get you to work with him, but Sam summed it up nicely, explaining that the three of you didn’t have to follow the rules he did. You started to leave, Bucky tucking you under his arms once you slid off the car, when Walker stopped you once more.
“A word of advice, then. Stay the hell out of my way.”
You grumbled under your breath as the faker and his lapdog walked off. “I’m gonna kill him.” You vowed as the three of you started in the other direction. “I swear to God, I’m gonna rip that shield off his back and use it to beat him in that stupid face of his-”
“Down, girl.” Sam jested, flicking your ear. “We need a game plan. What’re we thinking?”
Your eyes narrowed as Bucky piped up, talking about the Isaiah character - who you still didn’t know - before HYDRA entered the equation.
“Absolutely not.” You shook your head, tugging his arm to make him stop once he mentioned Siberia. “Do you remember Siberia? Because if you’re actually suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, we remember Siberia very differently.”
“He’s our best bet-”
“So you’re just going to go sit in a room with this guy?”
Bucky scrunched up his nose. “Ye-yes…”
A beat of silence passed before Sam gave his stamp of approval, but you still disagreed. “There’s no way this’ll end well and I refuse to let you-”
You found your face between Bucky’s hands again. You really wished he’d stop doing that and just ask for your attention. You didn’t mean that, of course. You’d be held by him every second of every day if you could. “Don’t you trust me, doll?”
You licked your lips, looking around the darkened street. This was not a good idea. A bad plan - a terrible plan, really - but, unfortunately, it was the only one you had. “Dammit. I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.” You finally sighed, running a hand through your hair after Bucky let go of you, his eyebrow quirking.
“Is that a yes?”
Sam nodded. “We’re gonna go see Zemo.”
You tugged Bucky’s hand when he nodded back and went to walk after Sam, who started walking around the corner, making him stop. “And yes. I do trust you. With everything I have, Buckaroo.”
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egcdeath · 4 years ago
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aunt flo
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summary: your monthly friend decides to visit you while staying over at steve’s.
word count: 1.5k
pairing: steve rogers x reader 
warnings: periods (so blood as well), awkward situations
a/n: this is definitely inspired by the *ahem* cycle that is currently plaguing me. it also hasn’t been thoroughly edited as this was the first time in a while that i’d written something, and i wanted to share it with you all as soon as possible! i hope you enjoy <3 
Sleeping over at Steve’s apartment was never a bad experience for you. He seemed to always be completely prepared for what the night would entail, whether it be a plethora of snacks, or your favorite scent of lotion.
However, when you woke up in what felt like a pool of your own blood, saying you were alarmed was a bit of an understatement. You mentally cursed at yourself for not realizing ahead of time that your cycle was set to start any time that week, and the fact that you’d bled all over your boyfriends sheets.
You attempted to slip out of Steve’s grasp and out of bed to assess the damage done in both your underwear, and on the bed. Once you were finally standing on the floor and gawking at the red spot in bed, you rubbed your forehead exasperatedly. While it wasn’t as bad as you’d expected, it certainly wasn’t good. The quarter sized blood stain seemed to be glaring back to you, and you decided to glare back at it before heading into the en-suite.
Before plopping yourself down on the toilet, you searched through cupboard upon cupboard for some sort of period product. Behind the mirror: aftershave, Advil, bandaids, a random bar of soap, nothing you could use. Under the sink: Epsom salt, your favorite body wash, an extra bottle of shampoo, but not a tampon in sight. Above the toilet: a few rolls of toilet paper, yet nothing even resembling a pad.
Seeing as Steve seemed pretty prepared for anything related to you, you were more than a bit surprised that he hadn’t considered that you were a menstruating human. You huffed as you sat down on the toilet, then assessed the damage control you’d need to do. First and foremost, you needed something to protect the rest of Steve’s apartment from your uterine lining. After you figured that out, you desperately needed to get that stain out of your boyfriend's sheets before he’d notice.
Maybe you could order some pads from a grocery store to his apartment. That seemed like a safe bet, but Steve would probably become concerned if he realized you’d been in the bathroom for 45 minutes. Perhaps you could just leave without a word to Steve. But that raises the issue of a random blood stain, and possibly, an upset Steve.
“Think, Y/N, think,” you muttered to yourself. You attempted to brainstorm more options for yourself, but ultimately ended up dozing off, and waking up to the soft rapping against the bathroom door, along with the sound of Steve’s voice.
“Sweetheart, everything okay in there? You’ve been in there for a while, and I saw some blood on the bed. Did you hurt yourself?”
You mentally cursed at yourself, at least now you’d only have to worry about obtaining a pad, and not addressing the mess on the bed.
“Oh yeah, I’m completely fine. Actually, I should probably head home,” you attempted to sound convincing, but didn’t exactly hit the mark.
“Are you sure? I thought we were gonna get brunch together this morning.”
You could’ve sworn you heard the frown in Steve’s voice. “Oh, uh, I’m not super hungry right now.”
“Okay, that’s fine. But about that blood, what happened? Are you alright?” He questioned.
“I’m fine, Steve.”
“Did the headboard scratch you? Did I sleep fight you or something? Did you hit your leg on the nightstand again?”
“Jesus Steve,” you scoffed a bit at the overload of questions. “I just started my period. And you have nothing I can use here, so I need to go home. That’s why there’s blood in your bed, and that’s why I’ve been in here all morning.”
“Doll, you should’ve told me! I’ll go get you something, okay?” He opened the door just a crack, and blew you a kiss. “Just stay right where you are. I’ll be back quicker than you can say period. There’s medicine behind the mirror, and I can grab you my heating pad before I go. Maybe taking a shower would help t-“
“Steve,” you giggled. “That’s plenty. Now go get my shit so I can stop bleeding all over the place.”
“Got it. I love you,” he smiled warmly at you before closing the door softly, and heading out.
Steve basically sprinted to his nearest convenience store, getting lost in the feminine hygiene section, then finding himself completely at loss with what he was supposed to buy. There were just too many options. He considered calling you to ask what you need, but he didn’t want to bother you more than necessary. Plus, you could be standing in the shower right now, and what if you heard your phone ringing, tried to get out of the shower to answer, and slipped? The thought of you hurting yourself made Steve shudder.
He ended up settling on three different varieties of pads and tampons. If you didn’t need them, he could always donate them to a local shelter. He then stopped by the candy aisle to grab you some dark chocolates (he’d heard in passing that it was good for menstruating women), along with a package of panties that looked like they could be your size, before hopping in line at a register.
In the midst of Steve’s menstruation mania, he failed to notice a random customer snapping a photo of him with the over abundance of women’s hygiene products. He was much more busy with checking out and getting back to you as fast as humanly possible.
——
Once Steve made it back to his apartment, he found you still in the bathroom, surrounded by a light mist of fog from the shower, and clad in an oversized sweatshirt with a faded SHIELD logo.
“I didn’t know what to get you, so I got you everything,” Steve blushed at his own unpreparedness, then passed you the bags of period products. “I’m gonna go change the sheets. When you’re ready, just meet me in bed, okay?” He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before leaving the bathroom, letting you handle your business.
——
A breakfast-in-bed and movie marathon later, you were still cuddled up in Steve’s bed, his massive body giving you an extra level of warmth that was soothing your cramps like nothing you’d ever witnessed before. You were probably more comfortable than you’d ever been. Except for the incessant vibrating of your phone on the bedside table.
You’d finally reached out for it, and were pretty shocked to see all of the messages you’d received. You opened the first message from one of your closest friends, and your eyebrows raised as you read it.
LMAO read this right now bitch
enews.com/caps-pad-problem
Curiosity got the best of you, so you opened up the article.
#Padgate?
If you've been anywhere on the internet in the last few  hours, you’ve certainly seen the word “padgate” trending. The reason why is more interesting than you’d think.
Early this morning, Captain America, America’s sweetheart was spotted buying out the entirety of the feminine hygiene section of his local convenience store.
From this, a huge question rises. Is he donating? There’s certainly enough pads and tampons to keep an army of women satisfied for a year. Is he seeing someone? She must be some lucky gal.  Either way, when we thought this man couldn’t get any more lovable- he did!
You blushed while reading the article, not exactly sure how to feel. After letting it simmer in your brain for a second, you began to giggle, deciding that more than anything, it was pretty damn funny. You texted a quick message back to your friend who’d sent the article, then finally began to speak to Steve, who was giving you a bit of a confused look at your giggling.
“Steve, you goof. Someone took a picture of you buying all of that period stuff, and now the internet has gone wild.”
“What? Let me see,” he reached for your phone, and you gladly passed it to him. He skimmed over the article, then furrowed his brows. “Tony and the PR department are never going to let me live this down,” he groaned.
“Don’t be so dramatic, maybe something good will come out of this!” You chided, giving him a mischievous grin.
——
As it turns out, the word good is subjective.
It’d been about a month post-padgate, and you’d been strolling through the store with Steve, working on getting your groceries for the week.
As you entered the wellness aisle, you looked at the shelves containing menstrual products, knowing that you needed to restock sooner than later.
When you first saw what you saw, you had to do a complete double take. Your eyes must’ve been deceiving you.
A Tampax box stared back at you, a logo with a shield containing a star clearly defined on the box, along with the text ‘Captain America approved!’
“No way,” you actually laughed out loud at the sight. “Steve!” you grabbed onto his sleeve, and pulled him in the direction of the box so he could see what you were seeing.
“No way!” He reprised. “Oh my God. I’m really never gonna live this down, am I?”
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