#and about the fact that we all could have been bus ride crushes at some point | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

waitinqroom · 2 years ago

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this is a story that i'm really only posting it for myself and it's very long but it's a little bit romantic and the fuck of it all is that it's all real so. 🤣🤣🤣

ʚɞ ᥫ᭡⋆˙⟡♡˚⋆˙⟡ꨄ₊˚⊹⋆✿˖°⋆˙⟡♡˚✿˖° ʚ♡ɞ˚ᥫ᭡ ʚɞ

when i was a little kid i went to the same summer camp every summer. we swam in a pool and we played dodgeball and we played duck duck goose and we ate ice pops. when we were old enough we went on away trips on school buses to places like water parks and hikes along the hudson river. i loved my camp so much! with my whole heart!

and the thing about me and my summer camp was that although i had the same friend group of the same girls and boys every summer, i decided that i had a different crush every summer--because everyone was always changing the way they looked and the way they behaved, because we were little kids and that's what children do. and i was always a hopeless romantic, looking for some fun and beautiful and wholly imaginary thing straight out of the books and movies to occupy my mind and heart.

the summer i turned twelve (my birthday is in june, so i turned a different age every summer) i set my eyes upon the prettiest boy i'd ever seen--john. i'd never been friends with john, but i'd seen him in school, sitting at the lunch table a few rows down from mine. i'd always thought he was the prettiest boy in the cafeteria, but i didn't know anything about him and there'd been other, more important things on my mind.

but that summer, when i realized we went to camp together, i decided i had a crush on john. he was the prettiest boy i'd ever seen. besides, he was quiet enough for me to craft an entire personality for him in my mind that didn't necessarily have to match up with who he was in real life.

john was best friends with another boy--we'll call him tyler. while tyler was loud and obnoxious--an asshole, even for a twelve year old, john was nice enough for me to disregard how shitty his friend was. and, of course, he was the prettiest boy i'd ever seen.

one trip we went on that summer was to some amusement park in connecticut. it was an all-day event, and on the bus ride back home, we were all tired and hungry. i had a pack of gum in my backpack, but i only had two pieces left. i of course had one for myself. the second and last piece was up for grabs. all of my friends were vying for it, including john and tyler. john was as quiet as ever, but when i looked a little bit closer at him, and he was bending over, leaning his head on the seat in front of him and though his hair partially covered his face, what i could see of his face looked green in the lighting. he looked sick. desperate. i gave my last piece of gum to john.

i wrote diary entry upon diary entry about john. i genuinely believed that it had been love at first sight, that no one was more beautiful than him, that i would never care for anyone the way i did for him. he was sweet when we exchanged words, and i was convinced that i was in love.

of course, i was twelve and i was stupid. but i did have real feelings, and it all meant a lot to me at the time.

nothing substantial ever happened, but i kept john on my mind and in my diary. he was actually the second crush i ever wrote about in that diary, and the recipient of quite possibly some of my most passionate entries to this day.

the summer ended, a couple of months went by, and i swiftly forgot about john. throughout the months of fall, winter, and spring, i immersed myself in an entirely new community: i learned more about queerness than i'd ever known up until that point.

i turned thirteen and went back to camp. this time, we were old enough to go on even greater, bigger and more interesting trips. we went on overnights to the poconos and boston and niagra falls.

john and tyler were still best friends. in fact, they were so close that a few of my girl friends and i joked about them being lovers. we laughed about the incredibly intimate friendship between the two boys all summer. what made it so silly was the fact that tyler, in addition to remaining an asshole, was openly homophobic. we took the joke so far that we actually ended up writing an erotic fanfiction about john and tyler that ended with one of my friends--we'll call her ivy--killing tyler. (we truly detested him.) we were so proud of the work that we changed the names in it and published it on wattpad.

all throughout this, i didn't have a crush on john anymore. i actually might've been a little bit in love with my own best friend, ivy. we had so much fun together and we created so many inside jokes that would last a lifetime.

the summer ended, and in the fall, ivy and i began talking with john and a few other people, in a group, on snapchat. we thought it was all just for fun. (and of course it was fun! john was such a pretty boy!) however, through this talking, we learned that john actually hated tyler. he told us that he was annoying and cruel and obnoxious. in these fall months, as i continued to talk more with john, more than i ever had, i began to develop another crush. how could i not? he was, after all, still the prettiest boy i'd ever seen. that would never change. but, even though i had a little crush on him now, it wasn't the same way i'd felt the summer i was twelve. that first summer when i'd truly believed i loved him, because i was twelve and that's how hopeless romantics think when they're twelve. this time, for me, it didn't even count. and, of course, i was only in eighth grade, and countless other things were going on. eventually, john faded into the background, i once again forgot him, and i found new crushes.

i turned fourteen and went back to camp. john and tyler were still there, but they were no longer as important as they had once been. i was more concerned with ivy--our friendship had taken a strange turn (as it often does when two queer wlws are best friends) and i was desperate to keep her as my best friend, no matter what. my friend group as a whole had accomplished the greatest thing we possibly could have, in terms of john and tyler (i am referring to, obviously, the gay fanfiction), and that was all.

for a very long time, that was all.

the summer ended.

i turned fifteen.

the summer ended.

i turned sixteen.

the summer ended.

i turned seventeen.

the summer ended.

i was now a senior in high school. i did senior in high school things. i accomplished senior high school things--winning the class writer senior superlative, being the salutatorian of my class of 327 students, committing to ucla (a secret long-term dream of mine). over the past few years, i'd been through countless crushes (ivy, still my best friend, always being an on-and-off constant one of these crushes), a boyfriend, the boyfriend being so inadequate that i was fully convinced that i was a lesbian, meeting a new boy--we'll call him alex--who was so hot and alluring that i became very confused and wondered if maybe i wasn't actually a lesbian. i'd met new characters in my life--a pair of twins and a guitarist and a funny cellist and so on and so forth.

at the very end of the school year, in mid-may, i did another senior in high school thing, this one much less serious: play senior assassin. everyone who participated was randomly assigned another senior to pin with a clothespin and eliminate. there were safety items, safe zones, and "purges" called when none of the aforementioned worked. the game's end date was our prom in june. the grand prize was $500 (each participant had pitched in $5).

though it was all just for fun, people took the game very seriously. they stalked their targets and showed up at their homes and workplaces. people were ambushed and betrayed and ratted out all throughout the weeks of the game.

i secretly hoped and dreamed and wished and prayed that i would get alex, or that alex would get me. i just wanted him so so badly.

but the game began, and i didn't get alex. i got a friend of mine, our school president. i had no idea who had me, and for the first couple of weeks of the game, i could not for the life of me figure out who it could possibly be. tragically, alex had been eliminated, so it couldn't be him.

i asked around.

the twins claimed to know.

someone told me that the guitarist was asking for information about me.

it then occurred to me the one person who was a common denominator between the twins and the guitarist.

who else could it be, other than a boy i'd thought i'd been so madly in love with, so long ago?

john had me.

at first i thought it was funny. i joked around with my friends--"my twelve year old self would be so happy." (meanwhile, my seventeen year old self was disappointed. john wasn't alex. and he wasn't a very exciting assassin either; he hadn't made any attempts to get me out in these first two weeks of the game.)

but then my friend told me how lucky i was. because sure, i wasn't friends with john so it wasn't as much fun and he wasn't at all the boy i'd wanted. but now that we were in twelfth grade, nearing adulthood, this boy john was really fucking hot. and i got to be this hot boy's target.

i then texted john for the first time since eighth grade. i told him that he had to do a better job of trying to get me out in assassin, because right now things were pretty boring. he responded that he was trying.

and so, something shifted.

i was driving home with a girl friend one sunday afternoon when i saw his car waiting by my street. i flipped him off and sped away from my house. he sped up to follow me. i turned onto a main road. he followed me. i lost him a few times and he found me again a few times. the whole ordeal was so silly. we pulled our cars aside and turned our blinkers on. i called him--i still had his number after all these years. we talked about the game, and then this funny thing happened. we kept on talking and talking and talking.

the car chase lasted for two hours. when i finally made it home safely (i'd outsmarted him, of course), he called me again. we talked even more. this time, our conversation went even beyond the game of assassin. we played chess on our phones and shared little pieces of each other's lives.

i wasn't thinking about what i was doing, or what was happening. i was lost in the moment. i was just playing the game--or a few, if you count chess.

the next day, i went to get coffee after school with my friends. i jokingly texted john that he should join us--maybe he could get me for assassin if a purge was called. he responded "ok." five minutes later, i was sitting at a table with a cup of coffee, two of my best friends, and john. he wouldn't leave. he sat there and partook in our conversation. soon enough my friends had to leave, and john said he would leave too.

he got into his car--a car that, funnily enough, had been my dream car all throughout elementary school. i hadn't known anything about cars, but i loved this one, and i wanted to drive in one like it, or at least ride in one like it, very very badly.

john started driving away.

i got into my own car, and it wasn't long before i realized that john was driving to my house.

he blocked my driveway and we had another long conversation before he finally left. he told me he thought my dad's car, which he'd seen in the driveway, was cool.

inside my head, i thought that six years later, john was still the prettiest boy i'd ever seen.

we talked on the phone a little bit that afternoon. he told me about marie curie and radioactivity. i told him about women's rights. my friends who i'd hung out with earlier texted me to tell me how attractive they thought john was, how i had to pursue him in some way outside of this silly game. i was, of course, starting to feel the same way. so i just kept on playing phone chess with him.

the next day, john showed up at a club meeting, for the club i was the president of. a purge was called, and in a few seconds, he got me out for assassin.

it was all over, wasn't it?

i'd had my fun for the sake of my twelve-year-old self, and now the game was literally over. no more car chases, no more showing up to get coffee, no more chess games. no more long conversations that somehow always drifted away from what they had been meant to be about.

but then i thought about what i'd gotten out of this so far (in reality, it was nothing truly substantial), and what i wanted from it. i thought about how he was still the prettiest boy i'd ever seen, and how now i wasn't the only person who thought so. with my twelve-year-old self in mind, i thought that maybe i could make something more out of it, if i really tried.

so i sat down beside john at the club meeting he still hadn't left even after getting me out and we talked about chess. and then before i realized what i was doing, i got a ride from him to the far parking lot my own car was parked in and for approximately 120 seconds i got to ride in my childhood dream car. and we sat in the parking lot for a few minutes, face to face, sitting in my childhood dream car, and we talked about our lives and outer space and the future.

for the next couple of days, i was in a strange limbo in which i occasionally texted john, occasionally got left on delivered for long periods of time, and occasionally got proper bouts of interaction from him. we played chess. i went to taylor swift's eras tour and at metlife night 1, he texted me back right in the middle of the red set. when i went to metlife night 2, he texted me back right as taylor arrived onstage to begin her lover set.

one night, i went out to get ice cream with my friends. we were sitting around a table, talking about john--the pretty boy, the boy i was now chasing, the boy all of my friends told me i couldn't let go of because he was too beautiful.

and then john literally appeared out of nowhere and walked by.

it turned out that he was there with his own friends to get ice cream. their group took a seat at the table next to mine and we all had a big conversation.

it was the strangest twist of fate. it was a random weekday night; my town isn't even that small. he just happened to show up with his friends and we just all happened to be there at the same time. just like he'd somehow happened to get me for assassin and he'd somehow come back into my life like this. and he'd somehow, in the eyes of so many people, achieved the title of being the most beautiful boy in my town. and now he was here in front of my own eyes.

at some point that night, i said something flirtatious to john and ivy (my best friend, the one i've always been on-and-off in love with) made a gagging sound and feigned throwing up. we all sat there staring at her. i felt a funny feeling inside, like something real and terrible and dangerous in all directions was happening.

at the end of that week, my entire grade went to the beach (another senior year activity). my friends and i were actually the first group to arrive, and we were sitting by the water when the second group to arrive showed up--john's group, of course. he walked by and i said hi to him. he got a little bit drunk and i told him we had to keep on playing chess and he had to help me get better. he told me okay. he did that thing where a really tall guy leans down to hear a short girl better and i got butterflies in my stomach.

that night, when we were all home, john texted me about chess. i texted him about my friend's relationship situation with a friend of john's. things suddenly felt so much more real.

the following night, i was with my coffee-date friends from earlier and i texted him "wyd" because we just thought it was fun and silly. he responded "i am eating japanese food." i said "that's hot" and "it would be better if it were korean" (i am korean). he hearted the "that's hot" and said "no Japanese food is my favorite." he later followed up by saying "honestly i'm not really sure if i've ever had korean food."

we kept on going with chess and occasional side conversations. he told me that a day on venus is longer than a year. i told him that space makes my head hurt. for the first time, he ended our conversation by telling me goodnight.

a few days later, i asked john to help me prompose to my prom date--a mutual friend of ours, the cellist i mentioned earlier. i'm running out of fake names for people ummmm i'll call him bill because i'm listening to kill bill by sza rn. sorry off topic. anyways.

john said he would help me. i wasn't sure what that entailed, but i was pretty sure it meant a proper in-person hangout with john. i really only wanted john to help with the actual execution of the promposal, just showing up to surprise bill and taking pictures for the two of us. i called some other friends to help me make the actual promposal poster, but in some other strange twist of fate, quite literally none of them were available.

so i called john and an hour later i was in front of his house and he was getting in the front seat of my car. this was in early june 2023, when that ominous orange smoke was covering up the entire northeastern region of the united states. it was the only thing i could see and smell but it gave me something to talk about with john as we drove to the craft store. and when we were in the crafts store i got all of my supplies for the promposal but john kept on lingering around and talking about different things with me and all i could think about was how far my twelve year old self had come and how this all had to amount to something, right?

over the course of that day, i learned more about john than i ever had. he told me about how he didn't actually hook up with many people because he had very high standards and how sometimes he worried that he was too nice to people and how he ended up leading them on. this entire sequence of things he told me worried me very much.

but then there was another point when we were sitting in the back of my car in the middle of the smoke to make that poster for bill and we got so close that the sides of our bodies were pressed against each other and even after we finished the poster we still stayed like that for a while and we just talked. in the back of my car, me and the prettiest boy i'd ever seen.

even after this pivotal moment, i still wondered if after we were done with this ongoing chess game, john would be done with me. i wondered if we had anywhere else to go from here--the school year was almost over, the game of assassin was over, we were moving on with our lives.

the next day, john texted me a new game of chess. he said he was bored. so the game and our little side conversations went on.

not much longer after, on the day of our prom, i showed up with bill. my hair was curled and i was wearing a red dress and i felt very pretty. i saw john and he saw me and i swear to God his face lit up.

so he complimented me. i felt on top of the world. and during the actual prom, i danced with him a little bit. he looked so good. all of my friends made a point to tell me how good he looked that night.

when it was over, he asked me if i was going to after prom. i said yes. i asked if he was too. he said yes.

so for after prom i got really really really drunk. i texted him his name and he texted me back my name. we eventually met up at after prom. in the middle of a bunch of flashing lights and loud music and drunk sweaty people. we talked about how close we'd gotten and i told him that i used to have a crush on him in middle school. he said he knew, but i don't think he really did. i think he knew i liked him in eighth grade, when we talked on snapchat, but he couldn't possibly know about that real crush i'd had the summer when we were twelve.

then i told john i had a secret but i'd only tell him the secret if he kissed me.

so on that friday night in june in a random club in new york city that let in drunk minors, i told john that my friends and i had written a gay fanfiction about him and tyler at camp. he told me it wasn't that bad of a secret and i asked if he could kiss me now. he said yeah and then he kissed me.

he was literally the prettiest boy i'd ever seen, and everyone else around me thought he was that pretty too, and here i was kissing him.

and then he tried to kiss me with tongue and then i got freaked out and pulled away and then we kept on dancing and i was being very foolish but it didn't seem to bother him. i told him i loved him and he didn't say it back.

that same night, i told alex, the boy i'd initially wanted for assassin so badly, that i loved him and he told me he loved me too and we kept on hugging each other. it felt very fulfilling. why couldn't john tell me he loved me too? i was much closer with him than i was with alex.

john hooked up with two other girls that night and he was all over one of them especially but the morning after he sent me chess again and i put all my dignity aside. i was over the moon. i didn't care that i wasn't the only one he'd had that night even though he was the only one i'd had.

we kept up our chess game and our little conversations and i even called him with my friends and he entertained us for thirty minutes. we never talked about after prom but i was okay with that because i was embarrassed about the whole ordeal, from the gay fanfiction to my pulling away from the kiss to my dancing to the many sloppy things i'd said.

people started saying that i'd hooked up with bill at after prom, which i very much hadn't, and so i freaked out and texted a bunch of people at once and john was one of them. he wasn't very helpful but i didn't care. i just wanted to see if he would say anything about our interactions after prom and he didn't. i wondered if he was pulling away from me, if he was done with me after all my foolishness.

a few nights later i went out for japanese food with my friends. we were sitting around this table at this restaurant, talking and eating and then, once again out of nowhere, john showed up.

this time he was alone. no friends. he'd just wanted japanese food, and we'd just happened to be there. i didn't even like this restaurant; i'd only wanted to go out for ice cream, but my friend had insisted on coming here and now john was here too. the second we saw each other, we both started laughing because why does this always happen to us? and then he sat with my friends and i at our table and when it was time to leave, i got a ride home from john in that fucking dream car of mine. we sat in my driveway and talked for a little bit and then he left.

later that night, i asked if he could pick me up again and he told me that he was too tired.

i took that as a soft rejection.

he sent me a picture of his cat.

a few nights later, i got drunk again and i texted him "sup." and then i told him how i was talking to a cousin of the girl he took to last year's prom and he said "that actually is so crazy." and then he beat me in chess and he didn't send me another game.

i felt defeated. after everything, all of that, six years of a buildup, was it over? was this how it ended? it just seemed like there was so much more left.

the next time i saw him was at graduation.

he parked his car right next to mine and i swear it had to be on purpose because i have a very distinctive car and there was no one else's car in the parking lot at the time when he parked. we took pictures together after the ceremony and at grad night he was drunk and we talked a little bit and i even talked with tyler a little bit and alex was drunk too and he hugged me with so much love. when it was time to leave ivy took me home and she said she saw john smirking at me before i got in her car.

i felt special.

he was the hottest man at my school. maybe even in my town, for our age range. everyone was in love with him. everyone thought he was the prettiest boy they'd ever seen, and i felt like i could call just a little bit of him mine.

i had my birthday party the following day and bill brought john even though i hadn't actually invited john. ivy got mad that he was there but john stayed for a little while and i started to get this terrible inkling that ivy was jealous of john for very complicated reasons. right before he left, john told me happy birthday and i said it wasn't my actual birthday and he said it's the 25th right.

he knew my actual birthday.

the following night, i was hanging out with some friends (one straight guy, three straight girls, and me) and we decided to rank every guy in our high school's graduating class because fuck it we were graduates.

we got into an argument about whether john or alex should be first. they ultimately decided on alex in first and john in second. we ranked 107 guys in total.

one of the girls there--i'll call her ethel bc im listening to gibson girl rn--wouldn't stop talking about how she wanted to get with john and i said if i called him he might probably show up to hang out with us because we were friends like that and then they could hook up. so i called him but he didn't answer and i invited him over but he couldn't come.

a few days later, on my actual birthday, john texted me happy birthday rebekah and i said thank you john and he told me to have a good day.

ethel was having a grad party the following week and she told me to bring john.

i called john and invited him to my next hangout with ethel and co in which we would now be ranking the girls of our class, and i then invited him to ethel's grad party. he said he would come to both outings.

at the hangout with ethel and co, john showed up in a different car than his usual one (my elementary school dream car). it then hit me that this different car he'd showed up in was the only OTHER dream car i'd ever had. this one was my CURRENT dream car. i felt so peculiar.

that night, nothing notable really happened, but john was there and i think it hit us both at that point that we were actually close now, and it seemed like the universe was constantly pushing together.

the night of ethel's grad party, i agreed to be john's designated driver. i picked him up from his house and we showed up at ethel's together and i let him get drunk and do his thing and he flirted with some other girls and i knew he wasn't truly mine and it bothered me slightly but i wasn't going to cling on to him and try to force something when the universe was mostly always doing its job without my help. anyways, he looked so hot that night and everyone knew it and it honestly didn't feel real to me where we were and how much had happened, the two of us. at some point, john needed to go to the bathroom and i offered to guide him into the house because he didn't want to go alone but he said no because he didn't want people thinking we were hooking up.

alex was there too and he was so drunk and at some point he held me in such a way that made me feel like it was everything i'd ever wanted from him and i couldn't believe it was real.

i drove john home and we sat in his driveway and he told me that he was a virgin and he didn't remember who his first kiss was with. he told me he didn't remember anything from after prom except that i'd told him about the gay fanfiction and i think he might have been lying because he didn't want to talk about what had actually happened. i don't blame him. we talked a little bit about alex and i could tell that john resented that we'd ranked alex first and john second (during the girls ranking we'd told john about our guys ranking) and so he tried to list off the things that made him hotter than alex. he told me if i thought that alex was so hot then i should have sex with him. i think he was jealous but i couldn't tell if it was because of me or because of him. i told john i was pretty sure that ivy was jealous of him and he said that made sense and that she was probably in love with me. i told john that i wasn't in love with him and he said he knew. he also just told me a lot about his life and suddenly i was sitting in the car with a completely new person.

it always felt like with every conversation john and i had, another layer was being peeled back. i was uncovering more and more of a human. the john i'd known for all these years, the pretty boy in my head whom i'd loved when i was twelve, and seen walking by in the hallway as we grew up, was suddenly more of a real person than he'd ever been. this conversation in my car made me feel that way, especially.

i learned his favorite colors, the places his parents had taken christmas card photos when he was young, the way he didn't really believe in fate. he knew i liked phoebe bridgers so he told me he'd been listening to a song of hers earlier but he didn't remember which. i told him the extended lore of ethel cain. i learned that he liked olivia rodrigo and this was when her new song vampire had literally just dropped so we listened to it for the very first time together and he said it was a basic chord progression but still a good song. at some point he laughed and i realized how good of a laugh he has. he's so so beautiful and it's so not fair. his lucky number is my lucky number divided by two and there's two of us so i thought that maybe that should mean something.

in my car he took a piece of gum and i thought about how nearly six full years ago now i'd given him my last stick of gum on the bus. i spit out my gum after it lost its flavor and he told me he didn't spit out his gum when it lost its flavor and i thought that was such an interesting difference.

it had been three hours in his driveway at this point and at the beginning i'd sort of wanted something exciting to happen but now i was just too tired and i think he could tell so he left.

when i got home i texted him pictures from the night and he sent me a picture of his hair because i'd wanted to know what it looked like in its natural curly state after it dried. we kept on texting for a little bit and then i told him goodnight.

the following night, there was another grad party. for the second night in a row, i was john's designated driver. bill too! i picked both of them up and we went to the party but before we went i let john drive my car and when we got there the funny thing is that john didn't even end up drinking.

after the grad party it was still sort of early so bill suggested that we go to this abandoned town near us. john and i agreed so we went there and it was sort of fun and creepy and then i took bill and john home. we played sudoku in bill's driveway and then i went to drop john off and we spent another hour talking in his driveway. bill texted me in korean that i had to make a move on john. i didn't know how and he didn't really seem like he was making any moves either, but he wouldn't leave my car either. this time we talked about religion and physics and all sorts of introspective things and i realized that we see all things very differently and it suddenly occurred to me that i really enjoyed john's company and that, everything else aside, we were really really close.

the following night, i hung out with bill and i asked if we could pick john up too. bill agreed and this time john invited us into his house. so for the first time, after those two long driveway conversations, i set foot in john's house. he showed us all these things he had--including a guitar and a poster and a record signed by trent reznor. i thought it was the coolest fucking thing ever and he thought it was so cool that i thought it was cool. we went up to john's room and i sat on his bed and then the guys started talking about computers and video games and then i fell asleep in john's bed.

bill threw something at me to wake me up and then i was up again and we got in his car to go to the mall to pick up something bill had left there. at the mall john suggested we should go ice skating and i said no because i was bad at it and he said he was okay at it. on the car ride home i asked john if i could braid his hair and he said yeah so i braided his hair and i kept on playing with it and he got really close to me and it felt even more intimate than when we'd kissed.

eventually bill had to go home and he had driven us both so we had to leave but now i was going on a trip for a really long time so it would be a while before we hung out again. but john told me "see ya." i said "i love you guys" and he said "you too."

bill texted me that night that he was pretty sure that i was now john's closest female friend. i was pretty sure he was right.

so then i went to korea. he texted me once and deleted a chat and it felt strange. i want to know what that deleted chat was but i don't think i'll ever know. i texted him once about something else and he didn't respond for a full 24 hours. i didn't respond to him at all because it felt pointless.

so now im at the end of my trip and im going home soon and i think now john is going on a trip so i'm not sure when i'll see him next. in a few weeks it will have been exactly six years since i wrote that very first diary entry about john and that is the day i'm having my grad party and so much has changed since then but john is still the prettiest boy i've ever seen and as i'm writing all of this out i'm feeling so many wild things. i don't think we're done at all and we have a lot more left between us but i'm going to college in less than two months and that makes this all just feel very fatalistic. but i also have a feeling john has now forever cemented himself as my hometown boy, and whenever i'm back there, he will be too, for me. the universe has pushed us together in so many ways over the past two months and i think it will continue to do so for a little bit more. or maybe forever. because now he's my hometown boy.

and also like. there are so many other characters in my life. ivy is my best fucking friend and thinking about her in any other context makes my head and my heart hurt so i just pretend like that part of our relationship isnt real even though it very much is for both of us. i had a crush on alex all throughout my junior year and senior year until john came back to me at the very very end of senior year and now it finally seems like there could actually be something between us and if he were down i would sooooo get with him and he lowkey does seem down but it would also send a Message to john so idek.

and yeah thats all lol we'll see what happens next 🤣

#my life is lowkey a movie #also the way most of this just rides on the fact that he is hot. like if he werent as fucking hot as he is it would be completely different #but no. he has to be the literal sexiest man in my town like are you kidding me #also. realized i might end this summer having hooked up with the two hottest guys from my hs graduating class. and then ill fly off to ucla #like bye hoesssss #r

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umichenginabroad · 7 months ago

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Week 8: Perfect Distractions

Hi again! This week, things have been picking up speed as we approach the final countdown until our research papers/posters are due for our symposium in a little over a week. Since I’m sure my underlying stress about that will be thoroughly captured in my next blog post, this one can be reserved for the fun activities that filled this week to help distract us from our actual responsibilities here.

Last Friday was the Germany vs. Spain Euro Cup game which made it a day full of anticipation and excitement… until it became one of crushing sadness for Germans everywhere. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating just a bit, but I’d be lying if I said you couldn’t sense the disappointment in Aachen when Germany lost in overtime in their first elimination round of the Euro Cup. Back home, I’m pretty anti-soccer/football for the theatrical fake injuries and weird penalty rules, but the passion for football culture here is infectious, and with the Euro Cup being located in Germany this year, not watching das Spiel would be like skipping a home game against Michigan State.

The main student street bars filled up a whole hour before the game, so a group of us sadly opted for one a bit further away. After trailing most of the game, Germany scored to tie it up in the last 5 minutes of regulation… only to let up a goal 15 minutes later. It was devastating, truly… or at least until we managed to remind ourselves that we are not, in fact, from Germany, and our soccer team back home wouldn't even stand a chance in a single Euro Cup game anyways… After the game, we stumbled across a heavy metal music festival happening in town and managed to catch the last band's performance. With metal being my favorite music genre, I was pretty psyched… until we realized the last band was pirate-themed and had the mosh pit “rowing” on the ground. No, no, I’m serious.

Proof there was actual rowing

Still though, I love that Aachen has so many of these live music performances throughout the summer. If I could bring anything back from the student culture here in Aachen to Ann Arbor, it would definitely be all the student run, free festivals with live music, drinks, and good vibes.

This past Saturday we visited Bonn, the former capital of West Germany. There, we started with a tour of a historical museum and learned more about Germany's development from the end of WWII to today. I’ll be visiting Berlin two weekends from now (stay tuned for that!) and after our history lesson I’m looking forward to seeing the remains of der Mauer/the Berlin Wall even more.

Part of the Germany Reunification exhibit at Haus der Geschichte in Bonn

After the tour, we split up to explore different things to do around Bonn. I more or less went the ‘Girls Day’ route which started with a delicious bowl of Ramen (oh how I’ve missed it) and a boba run. After that, we visited the Haribo superstore here and stocked up on cheap candy. Since Bonn is the birthplace of Haribo, they had two full floors of every shape, size, color, and flavor of gummy known to man.

Some (of many) Haribo candies + Ramen + and Boba = good day

One impressively cheap manicure and shopping spree later, we headed back to Aachen and relaxed after what was clearly such a taxing day of travel.

Sights from Bonn's Altstadt

On Wednesday, we traveled to a small, picture-perfect town named Monschau located about an hour's bus ride away from Aachen. Some people dream of their ‘white picket fence’, but ever since my first travels to Germany, I’ve dreamt of having one of these adorable timber-framed houses.

The picture-perfect timber-framed houses in Monschau

There's something about how quaint and cozy they look, decorated with their perfect flower baskets and colorful window panes that really makes one start thinking about early retirement and picking up knitting or butter churning. Or, I guess in the case of this town, glass blowing. Throughout Monschau, we found many souvenir shops with beautiful hand-crafted glass wares. We even found a marketplace store called the “Glashuette '' with incredible displays of glass figurines, vases, ornaments, etc. where we spent 5 euros to do our own glass blowing. Though my impeccably blown vase/plant-waterer/misc.-purpose-glass-thing probably won’t be making it back on the flight with me in one piece, it was still a fun, worthwhile experience.

Inside Glashuette: the "outdoor" indoor craft market in Monschau

After our impeccable artisanry we rewarded ourselves with ice cream in the village to perfectly complement the sunny day (Yes, it did randomly start pouring twice and cause us to say goodbye to another fallen umbrella, but still a 10/10 day by Aachen standards.)

Icecreamm <3

We ended our day in Monschau with a small hike around the outskirts of the town where we saw an incredible view of the houses from above.

Incredible views (and goats) at the top of our hike in Monschau

Tomorrow I’ll be traveling back to Dusseldorf for some pop-up fair. Not entirely sure what to expect, but with only two weekends left, I’m hoping to make this a good one! (while also trying fruitlessly to remind myself to study for German and finish my paper, but we’ll see how that part goes…)

Sarah Bargfrede

Computer Science

UROP Program in Aachen

#SarahBargfrede #IPEAachen #UmichEnginAbroad #IPESummer24 #Germany

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poetryoncoffee · 1 year ago

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AN: this is original since i don't know where to start with fanfics lol, this i think will be the start of the first draft I'm writing for my first attempt at an actual novel! any feedback is really, really appreciated

The Busy Life

I loved the simple life, my cottage, my little routine, the books i read, the shows i watch, the simple life. So how did i end up in the middle of the big city, looking as out of place as a sewer rat in a suit? having never visited London and always hating cities i just stood at the side of the road, watching some big ass red bus drive up the busy road, incredulous that people could stand to live here, do they not hate the constant bustling? the smell? the people everywhere? i guess not. It had never been the life for me, even when I got the chance to go to a good university i rejected, I was happy with my life of peace i didn't need higher education. I attended college in a city and that was enough. The day i passed my course i told my parents i wanted to move back to the countryside. "Marissa, why do you want to move back?" Mother questioned "Marissa, don't you prefer it here?" Father asked, my answers? "i want to move back because i like it there, it isn't loud and overcrowded and it smells like organic animal shite instead of gas and fumes" I said to her "no i don't prefer it here" I told him, i wanted to go home. Against their preferences i went back to our family home alone, believing that living alone with no money would be better then living in the city, i started farming my own food, keeping my own animals and took a job in the nearest village a few miles away. I made my living stocking shelves and mopping floors in a small, local shop a short bikes ride away from my cottage. I worked there for years, years that I spent alone in that cottage, happy with the amount of social interaction i got at the shop while stocking the shelves and mopping everyone's muddy footprints at the end of the day. i was happy to have that be the rest of my life until she walked in that day, that day that she stopped to talk to me, that day that I gave up on everything i ever knew.

I never thought i would feel this way about anyone, definitely not a woman, all my life i believed i was asexual, i had never felt any attraction, sexual or otherwise, to anyone. no personal or celebrity crushes. I realised soon after meeting her that it may have been the fact I never leave the countryside and don't see anyone but upon thinking on my school and college days i realised it still didn't make any damn sense. My sexuality could be anything, all I knew then was that i felt a new type of way towards the girl in front of me, I wanted to talk to her for hours, I wanted to get to know her. We talked in the aisles of the shop until she finally checked out and left, we agreed to meet in the field near my farm after dinner, it was all i could think about the rest of my shift, all i wanted was for it to hurry up and end so i could see her again. i biked home, barely looking where I'm going, too excited at the prospect of seeing her again in only two short hours. Short was what I thought at the time but I remember that they felt like the slowest two hours of my life like the universe slowed time down just to point and laugh at me as i paced my cottage, distractedly snacking on crisps and carrots. A pretty rubbish combination but i was too giddy to cook. I remember being so excited that i ran to that field a good 40 minutes early and setting up snacks and a blanket, trying to make it look fancy even though it was the most basic shit, i just wanted to impress her. We talked into the middle of the night, she told me her name was Olivia and she was visiting her sister who lived in the village, Olivia lived in London. I will never forget the feeling in my chest when she said that, my heart sunk and I immediately gave up on any form of relationship with her, still naively believing that i would never move to the city, how wrong i clearly was.

#original writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing #first draft #writerscommunity #lgbtq #sapphic #lesbian #wlw #lesbianism

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jnsq · 2 years ago

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late night thoughts (and confessions)

because I always feel that I can think and write better with just that wee bit of alcohol in my system,

so here goes the ‘list’ of thoughts that have been running through my head since 15th Jul -

- i confess that when we first met a good 5 years ago, when i first started my first F-O-H job proper, something inside me just went ‘tick’, and back then i was at my most socially awkward (Never in my wildest imagination would i be expecting myself to be able to subsequently engage total strangers and even of the opposite gender, in conversation. Never!)

- ok, i have never been in a proper relationship before but have come across enough quotes and stuff on tumblr and life in general to (sort of) know my way around the affairs of the heart. so back then, you could call it a crush?

- then somehow, i can’t really recall how things progressed to where they are now, 5 years forward. like relationships and affairs of the heart always rank amongst the first few in our conversations/rants etc, followed by work and life rants.

- i can’t stop thinking back about last week’s trip. but then again, i’ve never spent 72hours with anyone thus far, overseas and moreover, someone of the opposite gender. you’re the first.

- i’ve never booked overseas trips on a whim - like “shall we?”, being the rational person i’ve always been, and always being mindful of over-extending myself. but yeah wow, tis’ the first time that a trip has been decided within a span of a few hours because bus tickets were being sold out as we spoke and literally it came to a point when it was decided that “it was now or never!”

- i know that the coach ride tomorrow will feel very different without you sitting by my side, without the banter, chatter, laughs and all. yeah, i have to accept the fact that all things in life are transient by nature and we have to always look on to the future and what it may bring.

- 也许是我自己想太多

- i just feel that writing all these down will make me feel better, and that it gives something for me to look back and read down the road, when i’m scrolling through my archives.

- it’s been too long since i have last had the feeling of “being completely at ease, and totally enjoying the company of another.” so yes, i can’t rule out the possibility; that it felt really nice to have that void filled, even if it was just for 72hours.

- i’ve always looked forward to our meetups and always enjoyed every moment spent. because as they say, “it’s always about making the extra effort and time, no matter how busy, to spend time with those who matter to you in life.” and also because, “when busy-ness is constantly being used as an excuse for not meeting up/as a form of negative social currency, it leaves everyone poorer in more ways than one.”

- 金星有句话 - “爱情是你想要什么样的人，婚姻是你需要什么样的人。”

- call me superstitious but sometimes i can’t stop thinking about zodiac compatibility (but) end up questioning how some things still continue to work out even though in theory, they aren’t suppose to work. maybe it hasn’t gotten to that stage yet? or maybe some exceptions to the rule still exist, just that these are almost as rare as unicorns? just maybe?

- tempting and challenging faith, being stubborn and insistent that things will eventually work out (if you try hard enough?) - kind of been there done that to accept the fact that in life, sometimes you really can’t challenge faith, fate and be a 铁齿。

- writing is the only way now, i figured, that i can truly express myself because with the close (small) social circle i have and of what chances of us meeting to go into deep conversations about such topics, they are just too hard to come by.

- 有时真的觉得很孤单 and i always wondered if back then at the start of my career/working life, would things have turned out a totally different way if i had +1 by my side to see me through the worst and best of times? then again, sometimes you just can’t fight destiny.

- i can’t wait to see you again.

good night world.

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kmr95 · 2 years ago

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in franks voice a good weird funny real human "hi you reached frank from the ymca" hah so one can dream but maybe but very slim chance since theres billions of real humans who wanna go to ivy league like alan tuing attended princeton so did einstein. ivy league might very small chance let me in for diversity since i am autistic or i have very high functiong asd or aspergers of course again well its difficult to tell since im close to neurotypical thankfully so I do wish autism or down syncdome wasnt veggatables sorry again if i offend anybody. I used to go to a autism summer cap in 2016 and i met real friendly humans and some of the counselors were from the uk. again real humans come and go in life so even real friends or relatives I don’t see often or never sen like my aunt myrtle or cousin barbara etc. cousin barbaras son has asd as well. Its sad though real friends like Irene befriend a fake ass mom of course so to more same old same old idiots who say i type analog silicon or digitized text walls well again you didnt take english class or attended prestigious schools like rutgers like frank did and you don't know what paragraphs look like obviously. i type paragraphs simply again not so long so i space them. again my real friend from the ymca frank beltane or frank stabile he told me about his nicknames before he died so he passed away but i will remember him for being a real friend a real human a good weird smart simple and funny. he studied sociology. oh course i will raise my adopted boy or fe"male" and call them frank ymca reid hah even before he died of course and raise them with physical verbal discipline and i will raise them of course again with eabos. Ill remain a virgin forever. in 2022 age 26-27 I realized a simple fact everything's always been old school.

alan turing went to the most prestigious school of course but was he being simple to think of eabos well no. he was an immigrant like ashley bernards parents again. ashley bernard she is great at math again like alan turing or charlie wills or abdul etc ashley bernard is mixed no accent she is tri lingual. I have only talked to her dad and messaged her relatives this month june or last month. I dont wanna talk to ashley right now because again nobody is special and eabos. I havent talked or messaged ashley bernard in like 5 months of course. last time i saw her in real life or analog was halloween 2022 again. you might know this refernence my name is ken "come on little bill" matthew reid or my long nickname rolls off tongue hah. i slapped kids in high school silly idiotic game and i snitched on one of the kids because well again I was a selfish idiot again thinking i was special and i was worried schools like rutgers or ivy league would judge me but you know things don't bother me as much anymore since knowing eabos and we all have something to hide as humans/ imperfect idiots again so i did do something sort of with dogs when i was 13 so i wont be vulgar again. my free will.

so anyway i hate bill cosby etc. of course so rape abortion to fe"males" is bad and inhumane. rape because you want a fe'male" or male so bad is still wrong but rape to be evil fake is really bad again. I feel yucky but again fe"male" humans are the weirdest human gender so its just how life is and it turns on most males in a good weird way and a bad weird way. when i was a teen or a minor i got motivated by a fe"male" deanna johnson in high school and i put a pic of her on my weight bar yuck and i had crush on brianna sanders from jack and jill group or nicki guerco in high school etc. so many real humans on earth overpopulated again overwheming a good and bad weird. it's also risky to drive and I have sped in my life before I knew eabos. I almost got killed riding my bike on the road in 2016 a bus almost hit me and my fake ass mom passed out while i was driving and she had injurys which i don't feel bad for of course. my ribs hurt and the air bags came out this happened in 2019 i could have died not be able to tell eabos obviously again. i am guilty of speeding on the turnpike or highway going over 100 to catch a flight in trenton but it was very late at night in 2018 and another time in 2018. some idiots in 2022 speed in the home life neighborhood like 100 mph like at glassworks my home life again. i have sped in my home life in freehold and in glassworks but like only 40 50 but it's still wrong. my real friend again elliott peyton told me twice about his real friend dying and he sped and drove far to the hospital. hopefully he was in great hands but sadly he died like frank. i wish my real friends got to meet my other real friends like frank from the ymca. so again obviously ill care what real humans and fake evil humans say analog silicon way or digitized me fighting fire with fire until you care. I will dismiss you not read or see what you care about. until you get or care what i say about eabos of course again.

#military #army #marines #navy #usa #worldwar2 #wwII #life #turing #chatgpt #reddit #twitch #tumblr #twitter #youtube #algorithm #google #tech #technology #callofduty #sports #comedy #fun #Princeton #ivyleague #marryville #ymca #frank #cancer

#military #chatgpt #life #tech #modern warfare ii #algorithm #ymca #princeton

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starchild--27 · 4 years ago

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Bus Ride Crush

- somehow you mend my heart and break it again -

It’s just that very ordinary bus ride.

The driver probably doesn’t know the meaning of numbers, judging by how much he exceeds the speed limit.

But I don’t particularly mind. The roaring of the engine and the little bumps every now and then almost feel calming. and, as a matter of fact, I don’t know the meanings of many things either, so who am I to criticize?

I do think it’s rude how he just starts speeding again after an old Lady got on the bus though. He doesn’t even wait until she sat down, instead the Lady almost falls, desperately wrapping her thin fingers around the handle on a on one of the backrests close to her.

I am ready to jump up from my seat to help her in case she falls down for real but then my gaze lands on you and my limbs suddenly freeze, which is a strange contrast to the warmth, almost heat, I feel spreading through my body. The pounding of my heart resonates in my ears, my brain shuts down completely and with that my perception of time.

how long am I staring at you already? Two seconds, two minutes, two hours?

It can’t be too long because I still watch you slowly walking towards the back of the vehicle where I am sitting. also, I haven’t fainted yet so you can’t be that close to me yet. your eyes hectically move around, trying to pick one of the many empty seats. I am still observing you, getting a glimpse at your eyes that sparkle in a dreamily way which somehow makes me think that you aren’t mentally here in the bus either. I hope we are wandering in the same world as I ask myself what melodies you might hear through the headphones you are wearing.

On your way towards me (not really, but let me dream) you have to pay close attention not to fall too, little frowns looking cute on your forehead and your fingers tightly holding onto the handrail, carefully sliding forward until you arrive at the seat you have chosen. I almost believe it is no coincidence that you’ve picked the seat I have the best view on. Entirely mesmerized by you, I lean my head against the glass (that doesn’t feel like glass at all) of the window right next to me. Now I wonder if you actually enjoy driving backwards or if you just decided walking further to the back would have been too much of a hassle.

For a moment I move my gaze away from you. It’s not like our eyes have met or something magical like this. I’m not even sure if you have noticed me at all. I just need to give myself a break and time to realize I’m in the middle of a bus ride crush once again. at some point, you or me will stand up and get off the bus and it will be over. At least a part of it, because I am sure your face will haunt me for quite some time after this bus ride ends.

When I “casually” set my eyes on you again, you don’t wear your beanie hat anymore, resulting in me craving to bury my fingers in the messiness of your hair. I shiver at the mere thought and I wish you knew. I wish you knew you are somebody’s bus ride crush and that somebody will think about you during the next few weeks.

And then I hope you don’t need to know. That you know already how loved you are by the persons you surround yourself with. I hope that my little crush is insignificant to you, because you don’t need a stranger to adore you – even if it’s almost like love at first sight.

And I wonder if you would mind me thinking about you in that way, if it would bother you if you knew.

Because in my head, you would have walked a little further to the back and you would have sat down next to me and I would have said “Hi” in the most awkward way because my pounding heart would have been louder than any coherent thought but you wouldn’t have minded because you would think it’s cute. And then you would have rested your head against mine or on my shoulder and you would have shared headphones with me and I would have been able to smell your freshly washed hair but not able to breath because we would have intertwined our fingers and we both would have closed our eyes to escape together, to wander though another world together – no matter if we would miss our bus stop and stay until the driver would have to kick us out, wake us up. But we wouldn’t care because we would still have each other in real life, not only in our own little world or the imagination of only one of us. In my imagination.

I wonder if it would bother you, these thoughts. Or if you wouldn’t care.

You are looking out of the window now, watching the trees and houses shrinking more and more as we are carried further away from them.

What are you thinking about? What’s on your mind? What’s your name and where are you from? What are you doing in your life and do you believe we could be meant to be but don’t know about it yet?

I imagine you are a student, studying something I have no single clue about. But I would listen to you talking about it anyway. Because I would love the way your eyes would be almost burning with passion. Because it would make me wonder if this is the way your eyes look when you would be talking about me to somebody else. Because it would make me wonder if this is the way your eyes look when you would look at me in moments I wouldn’t notice.

The familiarity of the houses in this area of the town pulls me out of my daydreaming for good. Only two stops left, then it would be over. Once again, I take a very good look at you, trying to keep all your features in my mind, as clear as possible. By now I am 100% sure you haven’t noticed me or my weird staring at all. You are still absently watching the scenery passing by. In my head, I say goodbye to you, beautiful stranger. I will probably never meet you again.

Then it’s time to press the “stop”-button. I raise from my seat and move to the closest door of the bus on wobbly legs, passing you, who doesn’t even move a millimetre, while I feel like my heart must be exploding in my ribcage. The bus stops, the doors open with a loud hiss. And I step outside, cold air hitting me, filling my lungs. I take a deep breath and turn around one last time, looking for you.

And our eyes meet.

[11 dec 2020]

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yoooespinosa · 4 years ago

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summer camp | d.m

➤ summary: Reader has had a small crush on draco that grew with each year they attended summer camp. Much older and now counselors of said camp, they act on their mutual attraction.

➤ warnings: Sexual content, muggle au

➤ a/n: I apologize in advance, this is my first time writing smut so i summed that shit up

➤ word count: 3.2k

Masterlist | Taglist

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Summer of 1991

“Mom,” Ignored pleas were flowing out of your mouth, “please, don’t make me go.”

“Y/n.” Your Mother chastised you. “You stop your whining this instant. You are eleven years old, stop acting like a child.”

You looked at her exasperated, this close to throwing a tantrum, no longer caring about the people that would see. “I am a child.”

Your mother turned to look at your father, discreetly pointing at you, tired of your consistency of the pleads that have been going on since the hour long car ride.

“Sweetheart,” He smiled softly down at you, bending his legs an inch to get closer to your height. You knew then, that there was no way out, not with the passive aggressive tone your father carried. “we paid all this money for you to go to this camp. The camp you wanted to go to, what changed your mind?”

Looking around at all the children who were getting ready to depart from their parents, some already entering the bus that would take you to the campsites. You sneered, not hiding the fact that you were judging.

“Stop that.” Bringing your attention back to your mother. “Your face will get stuck if you keep making that ugly face.”

A quiet huff escaped your lips, you didn’t want to be here. In all honesty, you were scared— nervous. This would be your first time being away from your parents this long. Nothing was really wrong with the kids around you, just none of them seemed as nervous as you, that put a damper on your mood. Here you were, stomach fluttering and bile threatening to come up and all these kids are merrily making their way to the bus that would take them miles and miles away from their home. What was wrong with them?

You tried one last time, giving your dad those eyes that he could rarely deny. “Dad, please, don’t make me go.”

He sighed, resigning to his wasted money.

Just as he was about to open his mouth: “Alright campers, time to head in. Kiss your parents goodbye and let’s go!” A cheery voice sounded through the air, magnified due to the megaphone.

Chattering got louder, people already rushing to the vehicle, searching for the best seats.

Your mother put a hand on your back, pushing you gently towards the doom machine, placing a kiss on your head. “You heard them, off you go.”

Looking at your dad one more time, you sighed. He placed a kiss on your forehead. “We’ll be right here, in a few weeks, don’t worry.”

You walked with slow heavy steps, trying to drag sympathy out of them. Looking back, they were waving with smiles on their face, no luck.

Once inside, you noticed most seats were taken. Grumbling lowly to yourself, you made your way down the aisle, searching for an empty seat.

“Can i sit here?” You ask quietly, once you found a seat in the very back, one side occupied with a boy with platinum blonde hair. If you were in the mood you would of gaped over it, not used to seeing such a color, but you weren’t in the mood clearly.

“Sure.” He answered, not bothering to take his eyes off the window.

Sitting down, you waited for the others to settle, when they did, the same cheery voice announced the simple rules to follow while on the long ride.

You watched the scenery pass by in a blur of colors. Heavy dread was sinking in your stomach, it hasn’t even been thirty minutes and you already wanted to go home. Shifting, you looked at the boy next to you, who was also looking out the window, you decided to start a conversation. Distract yourself from your nerves. It seemed like he had the same idea.

“Do you think it would be hard to jump out this window?”

“Do you think we’d get in trouble for jumping out the window?”

You both spoke at the same time. Snapping your heads towards each other, you both stared blankly. It seemed you both wanted an escape. Smiles growing on your young faces, hushed giggles escaping.

The start of a friendship.

Summer of 1993

His taller frame enveloped yours, arms wrapping around you. You hugged him tighter, not yet ready to let him go.

Draco Malfoy, you found out his name two summer ago’s on the bus ride. You both laughed and joked around the remainder of the time, sticking together through the whole camp, becoming inseparable.

The same went for the summer after that, only ever speaking to each other.

This summer wasn’t any different. Well, for the most part. Everything outside was the same, but you couldn’t say the same for everything you had been feeling on the inside.

Draco changed a lot this year, now thirteen years old. He was entering that awkward puberty stage, voice cracking every now and then. You had been making fun of him, until he shoved you gently, his hand skimming over your bare arm.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach, a flush blooming over your cheeks. It was like that all summer, you didn’t know what it was at first. Not until, Tracey Davis, was going on and on about this boy at home that she had a crush on and how she felt when he was around. That’s when you realized, you had a crush on Draco Malfoy, the awkward lanky boy you met at eleven years old. You didn’t know what to think, when the realization hit you.

“I’m going to miss you.” He sounded through, loosening himself from your hold.

“Same.” You breathed out.

“Draco!” The gentle voice of his mother called for him.

He smiled at you once more, pointing with his thumb to the direction of the voice. “I’ve got to go.”

“Yeah,” You nod with maybe too much fervor. “me too. I’ll see you around Draco.”

He left then and you prayed that these stupid feelings diminished once the new school year begun.

Summer of 1995

They didn’t. They only got stronger when more time passed. Especially this summer.

Through the years, you both had got closer with others too, agreeing to branch out. Both deciding it would be better to get to know more people.

You decided that right now, that was the worse idea you could have ever agreed too.

Alongside, the rebellion of you and the others sneaking into the boys cabin, to play spin the bottle.

Your heart had fluttered at the thought of getting to kiss Draco, the way you had been daydreaming about all year.

So stuck in your thoughts, you hadn’t noticed when he finally did take his turn, the bottle spinning until it landed on,

A drag of the glass on the wooden floor from the stop of it.

Pansy Parkinson.

You only got pulled out of your daydreams, with sound of quiet snickering.

Looking up, you see your Draco, locking lips with Parkinson.

It shouldn’t have been a big deal, it was just a game. But then why were they still kissing?

Why was he letting this go on for so long? It could’ve been seconds, minutes, hours until they pulled apart.

They were both breathless, smiling dazedly at each other. God, you wanted to vomit. A knot was forming in your throat, impossible to swallow down this new set of feelings.

That was his first kiss, you knew it was. He had told you, he had never kissed anyone, just a day ago. Parkinson took his first kiss, the one you should’ve had.

“Ugh,” The voice next to you helped you out of the sad haze. “it’s all stuffy in here and i’m tired. Y/n, ready to go back?”

Daphne Greengrass was an angel in disguise, you decided then. You mumbled a quit agreement, avoiding eye contact with the rest of the teens, not that they were paying much attention.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered on the way back to your cabin, keeping quiet, trying not to get caught. “I know you liked him.”

Mouth falling agape, you sputtered. “I do not like him.” You lied lamely.

An unamused stare was thrown your way. “Nice try,” She chuckled quietly, then giving a look of pity. “i’ve seen the way you look at him.

You decided not to reply. Instead letting the sound of your light footsteps against the dirt take over the silence.

You cried over Draco Malfoy for the first time that night. Muffled against your pillow, staining it with your tears. The kiss replaying in your head over again, unwillingly.

Summer of 1996

“You never texted me.” He said on the walk down to the activity that was set up for the day. “I waited for one, the whole year.”

You scoffed. “You could’ve texted me too, you know.”

He had the decency to look guilty, staring down at his worn out vans. He was so much taller this year, hair grown out, hanging over his eyes. “I feel like we didn’t end off on a good note, last year.”

You pursed your lips, you didn’t you suppose. He got much closer with Parkinson the rest of the summer, like some lovesick little puppy, following her around everywhere. Honestly, they kissed once and it was like he was in love.

You heard from the others that they even talked over the school year, they had an online fling. So you didn’t bother texting him, clearly he was busy. You sounded that thought out loud.

“Just thought you’d be busy.”

“Busy?” He asked, perplexed. “I’m never too busy for you.”

You cursed yourself inwardly for the unwelcoming butterflies flying around in your stomach.

How could he still have this effect on you?

The remainder of the weeks went just like that, with his words doing things to you. You were sure he was aware of it too, with the way he kept smirking and shooting you hinting glances.

Or the way he kept leaving you with lingering touches. Hands staying a bit longer then they should when they brushed against yours. Gripping your hips when he moved you over to pass you, when he most certainly did not need to.

And then a soft kiss on the cheek, that left your skin tingling, as a departure.

Summer of 1998

You grip the clip board in your hand, silently getting a head count of the eleven year olds you were in charge of this year.

It was a last minute decision to sign up for the role of a counselor for your childhood summer camp, you honestly only did it because of the handsome blonde next to you.

He said it would be a makeup year for last summer. The last summer had to been filled with the most boring, lonely weeks, considering Draco had not gone that year. You agreed almost instantly.

“Got it?” He asked next to you once you were done with the headcount.

“Yeah,” You look towards him, he was sweating slightly, his shirt sticking to his now tanned skin, a thin silver chain peeking out. “that’s everyone.”

You couldn’t understand how he seemed to grow more attractive each year.

“Right.” He mumbled. “Okay, let’s go, follow me.” He shouted over the kids talking, holding up the sign that held the groups team name.

“I think i liked it better when we were the ones attending camp.” You say quietly, shifting on his bed.

You were both leaning against the headboard of his bed that was in the boy counselors cabin. It was just you and him, the others out doing whatever, which was limited to going to the lake.

“Really?” He laughs, shaking his head faintly. The only sound was the fan in the corner and the occasional sound of life outside of the cabin.

“Yes, all we had to do was be there and participate.” You explain. “Now we have to plan and all that stuff.”

“I think it’s fun.” He shrugs.

A scoff escapes your mouth, “Of course you do.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” He shifts his eyes to you, narrowing them teasingly.

“Nothing,” You purse your lip to keep from smiling. “you just always been the boring one between us two.”

He gapes at you, offended. “Me?” He shakes his head with scoff. “I know you’re lying.”

You hum with indifference, letting the silence take over again.

Your other friends hadn’t volunteered this year, leaving just you and Draco. It felt like the beginning all over again, ending with the two of you.

You hear him chuckle quietly beside you, his arm brushing against yours. “What?”

He looks at you, “Wanna know something?” You answer with a slow nod.

“I use to have the biggest crush on you.” He looks away from you, still laughing.

You’re not sure what to think. You know for sure your face is flushed from his confession. You didn’t know whether to be elated or sad. He use to, meaning he doesn’t anymore?

And how had you never noticed his feelings before, you thought they were purely one sided, that’s why you never acted on them.

“I had a crush on you too.” You decide to say when the silence stretched out for too long.

It was his turn to look shocked. “You did?”

“Yeah,” A faint smile forming in your face. “since we were thirteen.”

He lets out a breath. “Mine was fourteen.” He complemented for a second. “I wanted to kiss you on that night— when we played spin the bottle.”

A shadow fell over your eyebrows. “Really?” A disbelieving laugh. “It didn’t seem like it the way you were kissing Parkinson.”

You grimaced at the bitterness of your tone. He looks through his lashes at you, sheepishly.

“I thought it would make you jealous. It was Theo’s idea to play, he said i either got to kiss you or make you jealous.” He scratches the back of his neck.

“I wasn’t jealous.” You mumble quietly, you weren’t, it was more of a sadness that took over you.

“Clearly, you ended up not talking to me the rest of the year.” He looks at you again. “It wasn’t worth it, she wasn’t worth it.”

“Didn’t you end up talking to her for awhile?” You raise your eyebrows.

“Rumor,” He sucks in a breath. “Theo’s idea also.”

You let out a laugh, “Maybe you shouldn’t take his advice anymore.”

Nodding, “Noted.”

“So,” Because you needed to know. “When did you, uh, stop?”

“I-“ He breaks off, running his hand through his hair. “Well— i kind of, didn’t.” His eyes were shifting around the room.

It took you a second to comprehend what he said, but once it did you couldn’t stop the increasing beat of your heart.

“You mean,” You stuttered. “you still do?”

He finally let his eyes meet yours, nodding slightly, giving you a tight smile. “Yeah.”

It seemed like he was about to get off the bed, palms splayed on either side of him. So you grab his arm, holding him there. “Wait,” His arm flexed under your hold. “I do too, i mean, i like you too.”

You felt juvenile, confessing your crushes like some preteens, but both of you weren’t focused on the silliness of this altercation.

“That’s why i still don’t care for Parkinson.” You let out a sheepish laugh. “She got to kiss you before i did.”

He shakes his head with awe. “That’s the same reason i don’t like Blaise.”

You let out a breath of laugh. You wondered why you haven’t noticed that before. Another late night and a game of truth or dare had you kissing Blaise. You noticed the cold shoulder he would receive from Draco after that, you just never put too much thought into it.

“Well,” You breath out. “now we know.”

He nods his head, “Yeah.”

One second your both staring at each other and then the next, his lips were on yours.

They were soft and gentle. He tasted like summer, like the pineapples he ate hours ago.

The kiss was hesitant, not sure to test the boundaries. Then, as if something shifted, it was teeth clashing, tongues pressing and lips tugging.

Your hands in his hair, tangling your fingers and pulling him closer. His arms around you dragging you into him, suffocating in his scent.

The years of tension finally being relieved. Clothes scattered around. Your soft sighs and whimpers sounded over the fan, as he worked his fingers in you. Two pushing into you, impossibly slow, curling and dragging against that spot. His thumb pressing into your clit with a pressure that had you twitching under him. And just as you were about to break apart, he pulls away.

Your legs wrapping around his back, hands pulling at his neck to get his lips back on yours, where they should’ve been all along. He pushed into you, rocking into you gently.

His own sounds filled the air, his groans and low choked breaths. Scratching pink lines on his back, wrapping around him tighter, begging him for more.

Obliging, he rocks into you faster, stopping when the headboard meets the wall to put a pillow behind it, muffling the contact. An arm wrapping behind your back pulling you up so his pelvic bone would run against your clit with each rough thrust.

Meeting his thrusts, you arch your back. His lips traveling to your neck, leaving marks you’d have to deal with in the morning. But that wasn’t important right now, because he’s hitting the same spot over and over, his pelvic bone rubbing your clit with just enough friction.

Praising you with broken, ‘good girls.’ You can feel him throbbing inside you, your walls pulsating around him. Then he bites and sucks on the spot behind your ear and you cry out his name, shuddering around him when you cum, him following not far behind.

You both lay there, him still buried in you, breathing heavily against your chest. The fan doing close to nothing to cool your heated bodies.

He pulled out with a hiss, laying back heavily beside you. “Well, fuck.”

You let out a laugh through your heavy panting, a wide smile taking over your face. “I hope no one heard that.”

“Probably scarred some eleven year olds.” He added solemnly.

You both laid there for a few more seconds, letting the sound of your breathing fill the air.

“I should probably go,” You say, already getting up to find your clothes. “before the others come back.”

He nods his head in understanding, turning away when you started getting dressed. You think that you should feel awkward, but you don’t, you don’t think you’ve ever felt so happy— content.

You walk towards him, brushing away over his fringe. Kissing his forehead, his knuckles skimming your side.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” He asked softly when you pulled away.

“Yeah.” You smile.

Before you can walk any further, his voice broke through again.

“My family has this beach house in California,” He sits up, the thin sheet pooling over his waist. “wanna spend the summer with me?”

Another smile takes over your face. You let out a breathed, “Yeah.”

It seemed your summers would be booked by Draco Malfoy for more years to come.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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gyusbambi · 4 years ago

Text

humph; han seojun (pt 4)

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 5

click here for humph masterlist!

story: frenemies to enemies to lovers, high school au

synopsis: seojun and you have known each other since kindergarten. you’re neighbors and even attended the same singing and piano classes. despite knowing each other for such a long time, you don’t enjoy spending time with seojun. even though you are aware of his unfairness, you keep spending time with him. when will you finally leave your childhood frenemy?

note: humph! is a story inspired by pentagon’s “humph! / 접근금지”. originally, this is a seungyeon fanfiction, which i posted on my wattpad. words: 3.8k

to claim that the cupid-team is surprised to witness han seojun getting along with his long term frenemy would be an absolute understatement. in fact, they seem completely and utterly dumbfounded as they watch you both laugh at a joke seojun pulled in the middle of the bus ride back home. needless to say, the childhood friends tease each other now and then like they’re used to it, this time without hurting any feelings. all of these observations, including the fact that you decided to sit next to each other in the bus, lead to several assumptions and without you knowing, rumors start to develop.

for whatever reason, neither you nor seojun are aware of the gossip regarding both of you. perhaps it’s thanks to kim chorong, who’s apparently really skilled at being inconspicuous.

it’s been one day since you arrived home and you find yourself sleeping in till two pm on a saturday.

seriously, you should fix your chaotic sleeping schedule.

when you finally leave your room to get some food into your stomach, dressed in your favorite hoodie and sweatpants, your mum and juyeong are already eating lunch. like expected, they give you a quick judging look without interrupting their conversation. while you’re putting some rice in a bowl they talk about juyeong’s crush on some girl. soon their conversation moves to something related to seojun, and that's when you suddenly pay attention instead of playing with the cold food on your plate.

"y/n, is seojun’s mother in a better condition now?"

instantly you look up to react to your mum’s question. instead of looking at you, she puts more vegetables on juyeong’s table,

"it's been a few days since i last visited her, maybe i should do it again soon. i really hope she gets better."

"what are you talking about?"

"seojun hyung's mum is in hospital." juyeong answers, his mouth stuffed with food while pushing the vegetables away with a scrunched face.

"what?"

"hasn't he told you about his mum? i thought you guys would tell each other everything." my mum questioned with a small pout forming on her lips, finally meeting your worried eyes.

"they broke up.", your annoying brother fails the attempt to whisper.

"we're not together!"

displeased, you hiss at your brother, voice getting higher.

"you guys act like a married couple sometimes. it's annoying."

"shut up!"

"both of you stop now." your mother sighs while her hands move in the air in attempt to stop you from attacking your own brother.

"seojun’s mum is seriously sick and i'm going to visit her tomorrow morning. y/n, maybe you should do too? or talk to him a little since he's probably not doing so well."

"i will."

feeling upset that you’re just finding out about seojun’s mother’s condition, you can’t stop thinking about it for the whole day. besides that, you are worried and consider visiting them the next day.

even though their house is quite near to yours, you have to go through the dangerous part of your quarter. as you make your way to the han’s, your hand moves to your right pocket to grab the pocketknife, which seojun gifted you in your freshman year of high school. for defense reasons, he said.

"you need to be careful when you're walking down this street. here, have this."

however, instead of seeing a group of dangerous men, you spot han seojun himself, walking towards your direction with hands in his pocket. thinking of a casual way of greeting him, you clear your throat before taking a few steps forwards in order to greet him,

"hey!”

"hey, what are you doing here?"

surprised to see you in this area, seojun raises his eyebrows.

"well, i actually wanted to visit- what the hell happened to your face?"

rapidly, you interrupt yourself when the boy is finally close enough for you to spot the multiple bruises on his pale skin. this causes you take a few steps forward and reach for his cheek instantly, worry written all over your face.

he looks horrible. bruises all over his face, lip bleeding, knuckles visibly red.

seojun catches glimpse of your worried eyes and feels embarrassed for you to find him at this state. instead of making the attempt to explain the situation, he grabs your hand which rests on his cheek. the touch of your warm and soft hand causes a pressure building in this chest. seojun doesn’t dare to take his eyes off of yours.

suddenly your cheeks feel like they’re turning into the shade of a tomato. besides that, your heart starts acting all weird when you catch glimpse of his intense eyes.

"what happened?" you question once again, this time with even more concern.

"it's not important-"

"did you get into a fight?"

"that bastard lee seungyong was getting on my nerves again, it's not important." he sighs after running his hand through his hair.

"alright. come on, we need to clean those bruises before they get worse." you mutter after grabbing his right arm and pulling him towards your house.

seojun hisses with a painful expression as you attempt to clean the awful wounds on his cheeks. with a concentrated look crossing over your face, you focus on the terrible cut. however, you impatiently drop your hand on your lap when seojun can’t seem to stop moving, an annoyed sigh followed after.

“could you stop moving the whole time? i’m trying to do something here.”,

positioning yourself closer to the boy sitting on the edge of your bed, you’re ready to treat his wounds for the third time. seojun only grins playfully despite the painful bruises,

“look at you acting like a doctor.”

ignoring his comment, you raise your hand once again to reach for his chin. fingers brushing on his skin, you are able to focus. this time seojun doesn’t flinch. quite the contrary, he’s like frozen on spot. the only thing he seems to be able to focus on are your features.

nothing but silence dominates your room as you decide to clean the cut on his bottom lip. you fingers brushing over his soft lip, eyes completely focused on them, the poor boy’s heart is about to explode in front of you. he internally thanks to god that you don’t notice his chest rising up and down or his ears turning into a darker shade of red. breath taken away, his eyes linger on your lips, blinking frequently.

yet, his relief only lasts for a couple seconds when the silence eventually makes you look up to seojun, only to find him already staring at you, eyes gazing at your lips.

not aware of your slightly surprised eyes, he continues staring. clearly, your bodies are almost attached to each other. not to mention, you leaned in a little earlier, grip on his shoulder to prevent him from moving. the young boy practically prays that you won’t hear his heart racing in his chest.

aren’t you even a little nervous? it almost makes him annoyed how the closeness doesn’t seem to bother you at all.

little does he know that you feel the exact same way. in fact, you’re so bothered by the butterflies in your stomach that you suddenly wish that he would just continue making dumb jokes or rude comments.

pulling your hand away from his shoulder in a swift move, you blink. still, you’re not able to look away which seems so stupid and unbelievably odd.

seconds after you catch glimpse of his hand getting closer to yours but that isn’t enough for you to look away.

why would someone look attractive with a beaten face? that doesn't make any sense.

seeing him in this state, bruises, messy hair, intense gaze, flushed face, makes you want to hug him, ask him what was wrong, tell him you were here for him.

however, right when you think he is going to say something or reach for your hand and hold it...

"guess who just ate two big delicious menus-"

juyeong.

the second your brother lays eyes on seojun sitting super close to you, his eyes widen in horror.

"o-oh adult business, i get it. i'll leave now. bye, hyung!"

yet, of course, before leaving your room he doesn’t miss the chance to make gagging noises.

"and y/n, sadly, there wasn't enough food for you."

his fake pout makes you want to throw your slipper at him but you just close your eyes for a second and exhale, trying to remain calm.

seojun only chuckles with amusement.

"mum! y/n and seojun hyung are a couple again. can she move out now?"

juyeong’s annoying voice can be heard all the way too my room. embarrassed, you glance at seojun, who is obviously trying to hold in his laugh.

"i'm sorry for my brother."

"you don't need to be."

"a-anyways, are you better now? i mean your bruises?" you stammer while pointing at his face, wanting to ignore what just happened.

"yeah, a lot better. thank you."

he trails off, eyes darting through the room,

"i-i should probably leave now."

right, your stupid self forgot to ask him about his mum.

"i heard about your mum. i hope she's doing better?"

“thankfully, she is. it's a little difficult for us but we’re going through this."

“hopefully she’ll feel better soon. i’m sure you’re taking good care of her,”

you’re always like that. caring about others more than yourself.

“if you need anything, i’m here.”

he smiles genuinely, “thank you.“

and that's when he leaves.

the sun shines outside the next day. but instead of going out and enjoying the nice weather like other normal people, you lay on your bed while thinking about the previous day. strangely, you couldn’t stop thinking about the way seojun made you feel.

why did your heart race? why were you left speechless?

in the corner of your mind, there’s been an explanation for your weird feelings for your childhood friend. although, you’ve always tried to ignore it and distract yourself.

but now, thinking about all the times seojun made your heart flutter, it just made sense.

you like him.

“no!”

with widen eyes you swiftly stand up, not believing yourself.

it couldn’t be, right? everyone feels this way to their friend at some point of their friendship, no?

but the thing is: you’ve been feeling like this the whole time.

letting yourself fall on your bed, you scream into your pillow.

you like han seojun.

and there’s no way your former frenemy likes you back.

it’s another school morning as you walk into your class. this time however, you’re nervous to enter the room. after all, you’ll have to be around the one person you now feel nervous talking to. what if he notices your odd behavior. praying that he won’t approach you in a way that made your heart flutter, you eventually enter the classroom.

however, it seems like the universe is making fun of you when you’re met with something hundred times worse the moment you step into the room. instantly, all eyes land on you and all you hear are cheers and screams from your classmates,

“congratulations on dating, y/n and seojun!”

“you’re so cute together!”

“y/n and seojun sitting on a tree!”

at the sight of chorong and his group wearing t-shirts with your shipname printed on them, your eyes widen in horror. they think you’re dating han seojun?!

“why didn’t you tell me anything? i’m your close friend after all!”

sua pouts, hitting your arm playfully while your eyes are still glued on the ridiculous t-shirts.

“is it true, y/n?”,

from the corner of your eye you see soojin giving you a teasing smile.

“listen, guys. there has been a huge misunderstanding.”,

when you can finally focus on your friends, who surround you with curious looks, han seojun enters the classroom, completely unaware of what’s happening right now.

the young boy frowns at chorong after setting his bag on his table. yet soon his confused face changes to a shocked one, as he eventually notices the t-shirts, everyone congratulating him with cheerful laughter.

turning his head to you, he notices your helpless look while you tilt your head to the side. totally surprised by everything, seojun has no clue how to act at the beginning.

finally, both of you manage to stand in front of the class, facing your classmates as they continue asking several questions,

“since when have you been dating?”

“no way! did anything happen during the school trip?”

“tell us the truth!”

frustrated, you move your hands in the air, trying to speak with a loud tone so that everyone can understand you,

“i don’t know how you came up with this rumor but seojun and me are only friends, okay?”

hearing your statement, everyone groans at the same time, not believing you at all,

“it’s so obvious! just tell us the truth.”

letting out a sigh, you turn your head to face seojun with an annoyed look,

“could you at least say something?”

however, seojun only raises his eyebrows before taking his hands out of his pockets,

“would you hate it that much?”

his sentence makes you frown and multiple questions appear in your head. not quite understanding his point, you continue staring at him with furrowed eyebrows before he finally slams his hand on the desk in front of him, catching everyone’s attention,

“you guys better stop spreading all those rumors around. she’s only my friend...,”

disappointed, many students groan before going back to their seats while others still don’t seem to believe seojun and shake their heads in denial.

seojun bends down to your height so that his face is only a few inches apart from yours before whispering with one eyebrow raised,

“...right?”

nervously you blink, sadness starting to grow inside you after hearing his words. of course, he only considers you as his friend. there’s no way he would see you as something more.

friday nights are always the same for you: watching your current favorite tv show while snacking on whatever you have at home. whereas other people from your grade probably club somewhere.

that night your phone rings and an unknown number appears on the screen. thinking it’s a stupid prank, you pick it up with an annoyed sigh.

"hello?"

"hello. is this y/n?"

"yes. who am i talking to?"

there is a short silence before the unknown person starts talking again,

"look, i work at this club near your neighborhood and this dude randomly passed out here. i found your number on his phone so i thought of calling you. can you maybe come and get him? he's seriously wasted a– dude, what the hell, stop spilling all the drinks!"

"i'm sorry but who are you talking about?"

you heard the unknown man mumble before answering, "seojung? seung- seojun?"

"han seojun?"

"yes! that's his name."

a short silence takes over when you sit up in shock.

"so, are you coming?"

you sigh before replying, "i need the adress.”

the moment you enter that club, you want to return to your house. many people dance on the dance floor, totally wasted. everyone is pressing their bodies against each other's. the loud music makes you feel even more uncomfortable. you look around and let out a relieved sigh when you find a bartender with a phone on his hand.

"hello, i'm here for seojun. the guy who–"

"hey, finally! he's right here."

you follow the man to the other side of the club, where people are sitting on the couches and drinks were sold every minute. it doesn’t take you long to spot seojun sitting on the couch. his eyes are closed but his head is swinging from left to right. you can’t believe your eyes. you’re pretty sure you haven’t seen him in a state like this ever before.

"don't worry. your boyfriend didn't hook up with anyone." the bartender next to you said.

"he's not my boyfriend."

"what are you then?"

"i'm his..." you trail off before answering,

"neighbor! i’m his neighbor!"

seojun shouldn't know that you came to pick him up at this time.

without waiting any longer, you help seojun getting up and wrap his arm around your shoulder. before leaving the club, the bartender reaches you seojun’s phone and makes sure to call a taxi. after thanking him you leave with seojun’s heavy body.

while waiting for the taxi to arrive, seojun keeps rambling stupid things you can’t understand. it’s getting harder for you to stand with him by yourself every minute, so you decide to sit on the bench with him, which is a couple steps away from the bus station.

you let out an exhausted sigh after sitting down and then turn your head towards him. suddenly you grab his face and make him look at you. he smiles like an idiot after you brush his bangs away from his forehead. his cheeks are extremely red, his lips pouting slightly and his eyes struggling not to close. your cold hands hold his warm, soft cheeks while you analyze his expressions. you have to admit: seojun looks cute.

after a few seconds he suddenly frowns. he narrows his eyes and tilts his head to the side slightly, looks you up and down considerately before asking,

"who are you?"

“you don't know who i am?"

"hmmm..." he rubs his chin carefully, acting like he’s solving a mystery,

"no."

"good."

"you're telling me that that's fine?" seojun giggles and covers his mouth.

"yes, absolutely."

"alright! i'm han seojun. who are you?" he stretches his hand out for you to shake.

"does that matter?”

“of course! who are you, young lady?”

"that's not important right now. what matters is that you're extremely drunk. what were you doing here?"

"you're rude!" he pouts and crosses his arms,

"you won't even tell me your name."

"why are you acting so childish?"

"i-i don't know."

"never mind. that's fine."

"really?!"

"yeah, you're good."

you notice how his lips form a small smile,

"you're nice and then rude and then nice and then- you remind me of someone you know?"

yes, that's you.

"my friend y/n."

"oh, really?" you sarcastically laugh.

"yeah! she's like you. but prettier. like so much prettier. she’s pretty."

"that doesn't even make sense."

"huh?" seojun asks confused.

oh no, why do you have to be so cute.

"actually, it’s hard for me to be her friend." suddenly he’s all sad,

"sometimes i cross the line and don’t know my limits. but she's so dumb and stubborn!"

"and why is that?” frowning, you cross your arms in front of your chest, waiting for his response.

he only sighs with tiredness, "never mind–"

and then he falls asleep on your shoulder.

finally you arrive at seojun’s house and fortunately all the lights are out. with his heavy body pressing to your small one, you struggle to carry him up the stairs. quietly, the door is opened by you before seojun falls into his bed. your head starts hurting, which makes you sit down next to him and massage your temples. however, you help seojun standing up and carry him to the bathroom carefully, in order to wash his face. he lets you take off his jacket and his shoes. finally he lays down on his back, with his face facing the ceiling.

"don't lie on your back." you demand.

"hm?" seojun’s eyes are firmly closed when he mutters with tiredness.

"lie on your side." you pull his body to the side, so that he could face you.

definitely, his facials expressions change. his lips are no longer pouted, his eyes extremely tired, his cheeks pale. from analyzing his face once again, you fail to notice him staring at you with his eyebrows drawn together. soon his confused expression changes to a sad one when you cover his body with his bed sheets.

"i'm sorry." seojun mutters suddenly. you expect him to continue, as he grabs both of your hands and slightly pulls you closer to him. a shiver goes down your spine.

"y/n, you deserve better."

he knows it’s you?

"i know i treated badly but i need you."

his eyes are barely opened, his words barely understandable. your hands start shivering as his grip tightens.

"i-i should go."

"no! please stay here." he rambles drunkly.

you decide to stay a little longer, just until he would fall asleep and hopefully forget everything that has happened this night.

“i mi..."

you aren’t able to understand his quiet mumbling, so you lean in a little,

“what did you say?"

“i miss y/n."

silence takes over the room before you finally reply,

“i missed you too, seojun-ah.”

your words make him open his eyes immediately. with a surprised face he tilts his head slightly and narrows his eyes,

"y/n?"

instead of saying anything, you hold his hand while he’s still questioning your identity. all of the sudden his hands leave yours to grab your face. without waiting too long he pulls your face closer to his. instantly, your eyes widen when you notice the small gap between your noses. intensively, he looks into your eyes. so many emotions can be read from his look, yet you can’t figure out what he‘s feeling exactly. they have the most beautiful brown color you have ever seen. so deep, that you could get lost in them. only seconds pass, but it still feels like you were staring at each other for an eternity. you can even feel his soft breath on your face, which causes your ears to turn a dark shade of crimson.

seojun then glances at your lips before looking back into your eyes again. without waiting any longer he presses your lips together, one hand holding your cheek while the other grabs your waist. you let out a small gasp, your eyes remain closed, your whole body frozen. is this really happening?

when you’re finally able to kiss him back and hold firmly into his shoulders, he tilts your head, deepening the kiss. you feel your heart beating thousand times faster, almost exploding in your chest, as his soft lips press against yours. your face is glowing when you eventually wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer, unable to resist the warm feeling. without doubt, you are sure that you've never felt something like this before.

seojun slowly pulls back when he feels your fingers softly tugging at his hair, leaving a small gap between your lips. you feel his breath on your face when he hums something before his lips meet yours for the second time, not giving you enough time to open your eyes,

“hmm, strawberries.”

feeling his lips forming a small smile, your heart is about to explode in your chest. seojun was insanly drunk but clearly enjoys the taste of strawberry lip balm, brushing his thumb over your cheek softly.

soon you break the kiss only to find seojun falling asleep on his bed seconds later. not believing what just happened you stare at him, admiring his features before panic takes over you and you rush out of his house.

would he remember any of this tomorrow?

to be continued...

(p.s: sorry for making you wait for so long🥺)

#han seojun #seojun #humph #true beauty #hwang inyeop #han seojun imagine #han seojun imagines #han seojun x reader #han seojun fluff #seojun x reader #seojun fluff #seojun imagine #seojun imagines #scenarios #fanfiction

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daenqyu · 4 years ago

Text

heather | kaminari denki

— gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @misakachan

pairing: kaminari x fem!reader | platonic!kirishima x fem!reader

genre: LOTS of angst, some comfort(?)

summary: kaminari had been oblivious to your feelings for years now, and at first it was okay, you didn’t mind hiding them. until you noticed the way he looked at her and suddenly, it wasn’t okay anymore.

warnings: swearing

word count: 5.6k

a/n: this is my first time writing and posting for a bnha character so i really hope you guys like it <3 i usually don’t write angst, but i couldn’t stop thinking about this and decided to write it down and i’m very happy with how it turned out.

« i still remember third of december

me in your sweater, you said it looked better

on me, than it did you, only if you knew

how much i liked you »

YOUR whole body trembled thanks to the coldness surrounding you, the snow decorating the floor and trees being a clear sign that winter had already begun in japan. you hugged your arms in a poor attempt to provide yourself some kind of heath, only to be met with the feeling of your cold hands. out of all the days you could’ve forgotten your jacket, it had to be on one of the coldest days of december. profanities fell from your lips as you tried your best to endure the pain until the bus came, but you were sure you would pass out by then. or maybe you were exaggerating.

the bus stop wasn’t that far away from your house, maybe if you ran you could get your jacket and get back on time to catch the bus. you checked your phone to see the time, a groan leaving your lips as you realized that was going to be practically impossible. if you left now, by the time you came back the bus would be long gone. dammit, why do i have to forget everything?

“well well, look who we have here.” your ears perked up as soon as you heard the male’s voice, a small smile making its way to your lips.

kaminari made his way over to you, both hands on his pockets as he returned the smile, making the butterflies in your stomach go crazy. the smile didn't falter until he took note of your current state. his eyes widened with concern and his hands worked fast to take his jacket off.

“denki, what are you doing?” confusion was evident on your face, but that didn’t stop the blonde from wrapping you up in the warm material.

you blushed from the sudden proximity, his face just inches away as he finished zipping up the piece of clothing. it didn’t take long before his cologne filled your nostrils and you basked in the comfort it gave you; it smelled like home. kaminari’s smile returned to his face when he saw your body visibly relax at the newfound heath, even though goosebumps began to form on his skin by the sudden change of temperature. he could handle being cold for a few hours.

“there, now you won’t die of hypothermia.”

“but what about you?”

he shrugged, tilting his head to the side before answering, “it’s fine, it looks better on you anyways.”

you knew he probably meant it in a friendly way, but you couldn’t help the way your heart skipped a beat at the compliment. suddenly you felt all warm inside, and it wasn’t because of the jacket. but rather the effect your best friend had on you.

right.

the smile slowly disappeared from your face, replaced with a hurt expression instead.

that’s all we are.

realization dawned upon you quickly and you scolded yourself for almost believing something so irrational and overall stupid. but as he nudged your arm with his elbow and started talking to you about a new video game that had come out that exact same day, his eyes sparkling with excitement as he did so, you allowed yourself to hold on to that fantasy a little longer. after all, dreaming didn’t hurt anyone right?

and so, you spent the whole ride to school envisioning an universe in which kaminari returned your feelings for him. an universe in which he loved you just as much as you loved him and you didn’t have to worry about anything, because at least you had him. an universe in which you didn’t have to overthink every little thing he did, wondering whether or not he actually meant it or if he was being his usual flirty self. an universe in which you were able to call him yours.

when school ended and you found yourself at the bus station once again, with kaminari next to you, you began to take off the jacket, having it worn all day and deciding it was time to give it back. but kaminari’s hands stopped you, hovering on top of yours, before you could finish unzipping it. you looked at him questioningly, trying your best to ignore the erratic beating of your heart and the electricity you felt right where your hands were touching.

“you can keep it.” his words confused you even more.

“what? no. it’s your jacket, you’ll get cold and besides it’s-”

“oh please don’t act like you don’t love wearing my clothes.” his tone was teasing, yet knowingly eyes scanned your face and you looked away, a hint of blush across your cheeks.

“whatever, but don’t expect to get it back.” kaminari laughed, his hands leaving your own and you had to hold back from taking it and interlacing your fingers together.

as you parted ways, walking in opposite directions to head back to your houses after a long day at school, you hugged yourself for the second time that day. this time, actually being able to feel warm. both inside and out.

—

« but I watch your eyes

as she walks by

what a sight for sore eyes

brighter than the blue sky

she’s got you mesmerized

while I die »

YOU and kaminari told each other everything, well at least most things. so it didn’t surprise you when he started rambling about yet another girl. don’t get me wrong, you loved him to death, but you had to admit that the boy could be quite unlucky with the ladies, much to own your luck that is. but this time was different and you both knew it. you noticed it in the way he smiled whenever he talked about her, how he was able to light up from just hearing her name, and most importantly, the way he looked at her. and you immediately knew. because it was the same way you looked at him.

she was your classmate and friend, and you could totally understand why kaminari was so smitten with her. she was funny, smart, caring, beautiful; in other words everything you weren’t. and while it’s true you knew it was bad to be envious of people, specially your friends, you simply couldn’t not wish to be her. i mean come on, not only did she have an awesome quirk you had no chance of competing against, she also had the boy you loved wrapped around her finger and she wasn’t even aware of it.

“and then when he was about to- denki, are you even listening?” he wasn’t, but you didn’t want to admit that.

“hm? oh sorry! what were you saying?” his pretty amber eyes looked at you for only a split second, before going back to admire the dark purpled haired girl.

jirou stood a few feet away from you guys, talking and laughing with sero and mina. you could feel your heart slowly breaking as you saw kaminari’s lips curl into a small smile when she briefly looked at him, waving at him in the process. and of course you didn’t miss the way she blushed.

“ah it’s nothing important anyways.”

“hey y/n, do you think i should ask jirou out?”

oh.

you were pretty certain you stopped breathing once your brain registered his words. how could he be so oblivious?! you had been friends since fucking middle school and you were supposed to believe that he never once noticed how hopelessly in love you were with him? did you not show it enough? were you that bad at displaying your love for people? or was he just ridiculously dumb? you desperately hoped it was the latter, because deep down a part of you still believed that there was a possibility for you two. that an us could be possible if you just showed him how serious you were about him.

but the rational part of you was screaming at you to stop being so damn stupid, to finally open your eyes and realize kaminari didn’t and would never reciprocate your feelings. that you were hoping for the impossible to happen, that you were preparing yourself for absolute heartbreak if you thought for a second he would choose you over her. and while you wanted nothing more than to yell at him for being so dense, for not seeing that you were right there, you simply couldn’t. so you went with the safer option.

“y-yeah, you should. i’m sure she’ll say yes.” you were able to muster a smile, and despite the lump in your throat, you feel happiness surge through you as he turns around and gives you a big smile.

“you think so? but what if she says no?”

“any girl would be lucky to have you, denki. you’re sweet, cool, and funny. what more could a girl ask for?” you were only half joking, but of course he didn’t notice.

“well if you say it like that it just sounds like you have a crush on me.” he winked at you and you swore you were about to pass out. not only because of the wink, but because of his sudden implication. (which was a fact)

“you wish,” you snort to make it seem more real, and it seems to work because kaminari’s now pouting at you. “now go get em’ tiger.”

“please don’t say that again.”

“wow okay, cold.”

he stood up, taking a deep breath before walking over to jirou, starting off with a joke as he leaned down on her desk and, as much as she tried to stifle it, a loud laugh escaped her. apparently kaminari’s charm didn’t only work on you. but oh how you wished it did because that way you would be the one getting asked out right now, not her. quite frankly, you would give anything to have him look at you the way he was looking at her right now, as if she was some mystical creature. or better yet, as if he was under some kind of love spell that made him unable to look at anyone else like that.

from the other corner of the classroom, a certain red haired guy looked at you with pity in his eyes, but also concern. he made his way to you, sitting down in kaminari’s previous spot. you sent him a, clearly fake, smile when you noticed it was none other than kirishima, one of your best friends. but he saw right through that.

“hey,” his voice was soft and low, he didn’t exactly want the whole class to know about what was going on. “are you okay?”

you gulped, but still nodded. “of course, why wouldn’t i be?” another fake smile.

“don’t give me that bullshit y/n. you don’t need to lie to me.” that was all you needed to hear before dropping the act, your smile quickly being replaced with a frown and kirishima’s heart hurt for you.

“this sucks,” you say under your breath, looking away towards their direction only to see kaminari playing with one of jirou’s earphone jacks, which obviously made the pain in your chest worsen. “i just want him to look at me the same way he looks at her,” tears began to sting at the corners of your eyes. “is that too much to ask for?” you asked no one in particular as you looked up to kirishima.

“it’s not, but you’ll be okay,” without thinking it twice, he hugged you and you didn’t fight back, instead welcoming the warmth his chest provided you and resting your head against one of his shoulders. “you know he doesn’t know y/n, if he did i’m sure things would be different.”

“i know, but it’s fine. i just want him to be happy.”

even if it’s not with me.

but you don’t say that, preferring to just stay on kirishima’s arms a little longer while trying to ignore the two love birds giggling behind you, your heart breaking more and more each time you heard kaminari’s sweet words. because they weren’t for you, they were for her.

—

« why would you ever kiss me?

i’m not even half as pretty

you gave her your sweater

it’s just polyester

but you like her better

wish i were heather »

HIDING your emotions was something you mastered pretty well by now. you spent years keeping your feelings for kaminari to yourself and you didn’t mind at all; you had come to terms with the fact that this crush was probably one sided a long time ago. so, why did you suddenly felt the need to tell him? it never bothered you, but now, after having to see him every day making heart eyes at her and hear him talk about how cool she was, you thought maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. you just wanted him to have the option; he deserved to know right? or maybe you were just hoping that he would choose you over her. just like you would choose him over anyone in a heartbeat.

but to be honest, you didn’t know what you would do with yourself if he didn’t. if he chose her over you while knowing you loved him too. what if she meant more to him than you did? what if he thought you were outright weird and things became awkward? what if your friendship wasn’t as special as you thought it was? you shook your head, hands coming up to your temples to try and get rid of some of the tension. no, that couldn’t be. you knew he loved you...at least as a friend.

it had been 2 months already since kaminari and jirou started talking. they weren’t oficial yet, but you accidentally overheard her conversation with yaoyorozu a few days ago and heard her complaining about how she wished he finally made a move on her. that somehow relieved you because at least they hadn’t gotten physical yet, but at the same time you wondered if you were being a bad friend by thinking that. maybe you were, but you couldn’t help it. i mean you liked the boy for fucks sake, it was understandable that you weren’t exactly hoping for them to pounce on each other.

“where’s denki?” kirishima asked as he caught up with you in the hallway, both of you making your way to the new dorms.

“don’t know, he left before i could even ask him.” you tried your best to sound neutral, but you knew you didn’t do a good job when you heard kirishima sighing. however, much to your liking, he stayed quiet and didn’t say anything about it, changing the topic to today’s events.

you were grateful to have him; he was the only one who knew about your crush on kaminari and the only one who was able to take your mind off things even for just a little while. soon enough you found yourself laughing by his side as he talked about bakugou’s weird antics and how hot-headed he could be at times, which you had experienced firsthand.

“he was all like ‘hey shitty hair, if you’re not gonna do a good work then fuck off!’ like man calm down, i didn’t even do anything.” you giggled at his accurate impersonation of the angry blonde. shaking your head as you looked up, noticing you were already at the dorms building.

you squinted your eyes when you saw two people standing right in front of the main entrance, but couldn’t make out their faces thanks to the long distance. yet the closer you got, the better you could see them. and once your eyes focused on the couple completely, everything stopped.

it was them.

they were kissing.

right in front of you.

his arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her close to him as if he never wanted to let her go, and her own were wrapped around his neck, caressing his soft blonde hair which you loved to ruffle whenever he laid down on your lap.

they looked so beautiful, straight out of a cheesy romcom movie. the sun was beginning to set and its rays reflected on their skin perfectly, making them look golden. and in that precise moment you realized just how beautiful jirou was and how much she complimented kaminari in every sense of the word. could it be that they were made for each other?

before you knew it, a single tear rolled down your cheek, and you weakly smiled at kirishima when he opened his mouth to try and comfort you, yet no words seemed to come out. because he knew that no matter what he said, the damage was already done. the couple hadn’t even noticed you two, too immersed in their own little world as they giggled and made their way inside, all while holding each other’s hands.

“they make a good couple, don’t they?” you fixed your eyes on your shoes, holding back the sobs that desperately wanted to escape you.

“y/n…” kirishima’s tone was sad, mostly because he didn’t know what to do, but also because he understood perfectly the pain you were going through. he had been experiencing it for a while now.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, kiri.” you sent him another smile, but right when you started walking towards the entrance he managed to see the tears falling down your cheeks as you bit down on your lower lip.

and somehow, that kiss proved to you that you could never beat her, that she had won over kaminari’s heart. something you could never do.

—

« watch as she stands with her holding your hand

put your arm 'round her shoulder,

now I'm getting colder

but how could I hate her?

she’s such an angel

but then again, kinda wish she were dead »

PEOPLE often say one’s happiness shouldn’t relay on others and you had always been a firm believer of that, knowing that people were unpredictable and that they could change at any moment given. so it was only reasonable that you made yourself happy, without needing to depend on other people, yet that didn’t really add up with your current situation. it made you look like a hypocrite.

ever since jirou and kaminari started dating, you had been spending less and less time together. the only time you could have him all to yourself was when you occasionally paired up during training and even then you didn’t really talk much. you were happy everything had worked out for them, and you loved to see kaminari happy, but it hurt you. it hurt so much, to the point that sometimes it was hard to get out of bed.

you missed your best friend. and you knew it was selfish, but did it even matter at this point? did he he notice how you talked less and less? how you barely smiled anymore? of course he didn’t. he was too busy looking at her anyways, too busy going on dates and learning how to play the guitar just for her. his girlfriend.

and as much as you wanted to hate them both, you didn’t have it in you. why would you? because they were happy and in love? you weren’t that desperate. but sometimes, as you watched her throw her head back while she laughed at something kaminari said, you wished he had never met her. you wished you never came to UA in the first place, that way they wouldn’t have met and you would probably still have your best friend by your side. no. even if he hadn’t met her, you knew he would never go for a girl like you.

these past few months had been hell for you, you barely left your room unless it was for school, your eating habits couldn’t have gotten any worse, and you weren’t getting any sleep, too busy crying your eyes out as you wondered what the hell you did wrong. and you knew what you were doing wasn’t healthy, but a part of you wished that something really bad happened to you just so kaminari would pay attention to you again. but he didn’t.

today was one of those days, you didn’t feel like getting up your bed just to watch a dumb movie with your classmates, and possible have to witness jirou and kaminari being all lovey dovey right in front of you. the thought alone was enough to make you roll your eyes, scoffing at how much the pair loved PDA.

“come on y/n! it’ll be so fun.” kirishima was currently trying to convince you to go watch a movie with the rest of class 1-A in the common room, but as expected you denied his invitation. “even bakugou is going!”

“then you’ll be more than fine without me.”

“i’ll miss you tho.” he gave you puppy eyes and you groaned, placing your pillow over your face.

“since when are you so cheesy?”

“stop trying to change the subject,” a frustrated sigh left his lips, and you lowered your pillow to look at him. he was sitting down on the floor with his legs crossed, a frown evident on his face. “i know you don’t wanna talk about it, but you can’t keep on like this y/n.” you flinched slightly at his serious tone.

“i know,” this time it was you who sighed, weighing your options in your head. you knew kirishima was right and he was trying his best to make you feel better, so the least you could do was make him some company. “okay fine,” his head turned in your direction, looking at you hopefully. “i’ll go, but it better be a good movie.”

“yes! you won’t regret it, i promise. and if at some point you wanna leave, then we’ll leave, but you have to at least try.” your heart swelled at his consideration; he was too sweet to you and you didn’t deserve it at all.

“you don’t have to do that, kiri.”

“but i want to. i know it’s not easy, so i’m proud of you for doing this.” his words made a lump appear in your throat. maybe you were being overly sensitive, but hearing him say that meant a lot.

it wasn’t long before the clock striked 9PM and everyone started making their way to the common room, chatting happily as they sat down and got everything ready for the night. you watched as people started to take a seat, whether it was on the couches or on the floor, and you started to get a bit anxious when you noticed kaminari walking down the stairs, but jirou was nowhere to be seen. thankfully.

as much as you tried to not let him have an effect on you, your heart still skipped a beat whenever you saw him. it was truly inevitable, but what you hated the most was knowing you had no effect on him whatsoever.

before you could look away and hide from his view, kaminari spotted you. he sent you a big smile, waving his hand before walking over to where you stood. ok, calm down act normal. it’s just denki. you tried to calm yourself down, but your breath hitched in your throat when you suddenly felt his arms engulf you in a tight hug, your arms slowly coming up to his neck to return the gesture. you would be lying if you said you hadn’t miss this feeling. the feeling of being home again.

but it ended way too fast for your liking.

“hey you! we haven’t hung out in a while, i miss you.”

because you’re too busy with your girlfriend, asshole.

“yeah sorry about that, i’ve been kinda busy i guess.” your tone was off and he noticed, but he brushed it off. maybe she’s tired.

“then what are you doing tomorrow? we can go to the mall or wherever you want to.” your head quickly shot up, looking at him with nothing but hope in your eyes.

“really?”

“of course! we need to have some bestie time.” the wink he sent you was playful, but your lips still curved into a smile from hearing him saying he wanted to spend time with you.

“then maybe we can go to this new-”

“hey babe i saved you a seat,” out of the blue, jirou appeared right next to kaminari, slipping her hand into his. and your heart clenched when you noticed he held it back tightly. “oh, hi y/n!” she sent you a warm, genuine smile, and you felt so bad for wanting her to feel your pain.

“hi jirou.”

“i was just telling y/n about how we should hang out.” you frowned at him, is he inviting her?

“oh? where did you plan on going?”

“i told her she should pick.”

“well that sounds even more fun, any ideas?”

“actually i just remembered i got some homework to finish.” it was a lie, but you didn’t have it in you to third wheel on what was supposed to be a date with your best friend.

“what?” kaminari asked you, not understanding you sudden change in attitude.

“yeah, maybe next time tho.” he wanted to ask what was wrong, but as he opened his mouth to do so, you saw kirishima walking towards the common room with bakugou and took that as your cue to leave the awkward encounter.

“well that was weird.” he mumbled to himself and jirou looked at him questioningly, wondering what he meant.

“hm? what was that babe?” the blonde shook his head, convincing himself he was probably overthinking things. he placed his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder before walking over to one of the couches. to be more precise, the couch in front of yours.

you sat beside kirishima, your leg bouncing up and down anxiously as you waited for iida to finally play the goddamn movie so you had something else to pay attention to instead of them. kirishima quickly noticed the unusual movement and was about to ask you what was wrong, but once he saw where your gaze was locked on, it didn’t take him long to put two and two together.

he knew better than to ask you in front of everyone if you were okay, so he just gave your knee a light squeeze, which you highly appreciated and let him know so by smiling at him. after a few minutes that felt like eternity, iida played the movie and told everyone to not make any unnecessary noises and be considerate of your classmates which made you scoff slightly.

twenty minutes into the movie and everything was going great so far. you had actually managed to get immersed in the plot and found yourself leaning your head against kirishima’s shoulder to get a better view, but also because the effect of not having a stable sleeping schedule was dawning on you. however, just when you thought you were about to fall asleep on your friend’s comfortable shoulder, you heard some giggles. you opened your eyes slowly, frowning when you saw kaminari leaving small kisses on jirou’s neck. your heart felt like it was being stabbed for the hundredth time and you tried to ignore them and just focus on the tv screen. you really tried to remain calm, to keep up your act just as you had done all this months, but you lost it when you heard those three damn words leave his lips.

“i love you.”

it was low, barely even audible, but you heard it. you heard it loud and clear. and just like that, with your heart losing every last bit of hope it had, you stood up from your seat abruptly, making everyone look at you, before making your way upstairs without saying another word. all of your classmates looked between them, not only confused, but also concerned.

“oi shitty hair,” bakugou spoke from his place next to kirishima, who looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “go check up on her.” he muttered and kirishima only nodded before walking upstairs to follow you.

bakugou’s words worried kaminari even more, was there something going on with you that he didn’t know about? was that why you were acting so weird earlier? no way, you told him everything. you were best friends after all...right? and with that question on his mind, he couldn’t focus on the movie or his girlfriend anymore.

you walked towards your room silently, even though you wanted nothing more than to scream and fight someone. you wanted, no, needed to let all of your pent up frustration out. you had been patient enough, putting his happiness before your own for years now, and while you knew it wasn’t his fault at all, you wanted to be mad at him about something. you wanted him to understand that this wasn’t fair, that you could be good for him if he gave you the chance, that you wouldn’t be a waste of his time, but the only thing that was coming out of you were tears.

angry tears stained your face as they furiously ran down your cheeks, reminding you of all the sleepless nights you spent alone, crying your heart out to no one but yourself. you stood in front of your room, hand reaching out to the door’s knob to open it and spend yet another night wondering why the hell you weren’t enough. but a hand stopped you.

kirishima’s grip on your forearm was gentle, but firm enough to let you know he wasn’t going anywhere, and somehow, his touch made you want to cry even more. you tried to push him away, telling him that you were perfectly fine, yet your bloodshot eyes told a whole different story. and as much as you kicked and screamed, kirishima knew the last thing you needed was to be alone.

“let go!” seeing that holding your arms had no effect on you whatsoever, he tried a different approach. his strong arms hugged you to his chest, and, as much as you wanted to deny it, you found comfort in them. “i said let me go, kirishima.”

“no. y/n listen to me. you need to stop bottling all your feelings up, nothing good will come out of that,” you finally started to relax, breathing heavily as you listened to his words. “it doesn’t matter if you talk, cry, or scream, but you need to voice out how you feel. if it’s not to him, then tell me. i’m always ready to listen.” his voice was so gentle, so soft, yet it held so much emotion and honesty.

more tears fell down your cheeks as you gripped kirishima’s shirt tightly against your fingers, your face hiding comfortably on his chest.

“i can’t take this anymore kiri,” you started talking and kirishima was quick to hug you a little tighter, one of his hands rubbing small circles on the small of your back. “i miss him so much, i miss my best friend. and i want him to be happy, i really do, but why must his happiness cause me so much pain?” a sob racked through your whole body after hearing yourself say those words, the ones you never thought you’d voice out to someone. “at first it was fine and i didn’t mind that much, but now? we barely even talk anymore, and when we do it’s always small talk. and we used to talk for hours about everything and anything, we would never get bored when we were together. now it’s like i don’t even exist to him except for when he seems to have some time to spare. did our friendship meant shit to him? because fuck i wasted years of my life loving someone who can’t even notice how much i’ve been struggling.”

by this point your tears had stained kirishima’s shirt almost completely, but he couldn’t give less of a fuck about that. all that mattered was you and only you. the only thought on his mind was how he was gonna make you feel better. so he held you in his arms a little longer, hoping that somehow his actions could express everything he felt. his free hand came up to caress your hair while he shushed you softly, rocking you two back and forth.

that’s how the night ended.

you, with your heart broken in a million pieces, longing for the person who made you feel this way. because you knew you would always love him, maybe even more than you loved yourself. you knew that no matter how much you tried to hate him, you could never even get close to feeling anything but pure adoration for the boy. and if having him in your life implied having to handle all this heartache and hurt, then maybe you could endure it. because for him it was all worth it.

and a certain redhead with all his feelings caught in his throat. he wanted nothing more than to scream at you for not noticing he understood completely how you felt, way more than you imagined, yet he knew that you would always only have eyes for him. but perhaps that was okay. if the only way to be close to you was comforting you because you loved a guy who was too dense to see what he had in front of him, then so be it. in the end it was all worth it for you.

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timextoxhajima · 3 years ago

Text

Not For Sale: Week 14

NOT FOR SALE CHAPTER NAVIGATION

Member: Heeseung + Jay [ft. Sunghoon and Jake]

Pairings: [fem] uni exchange student! reader x uni student! HS x uni student! Jay

Warnings: scenes in the hospital

Word Count: 3k

Synopsis/Quote: In which your oblivious ass cannot tell that a popular boy in your class has a big, fat crush on you | “It seems like the one who was ruined was me.”

Taglist: @hyunjaethereal @seasideheeseung @wooya1224 @gratefulmaria @sunshineshouchan @youreverydayzebra @fayqj @witheeseung @haechanhues @w-o-o-y-a-a @miingxuxi @reallysmolrenjun @hrrhmay-primaryblog @rosie112703 @ac-ewow @liliansun [drop me a dm/ask/comment to be added!]

You’re staring at the project document blankly, the pages filled with words and tables of the work you’ve done with Heeseung in the last few weeks or so. The weekend felt like three weeks, even when it was just three days - simply because you were in the hospital watching Jay flit in and out of consciousness and Heeseung’s still in a comatose state.

The seat next to you is empty and there is no other word to describe being alone on your last week of school than ‘sad’.

The Uber that picked Jay and Heeseung up had just been in school compounds and the police had found a rig in the brakes - the Uber had been stopped by another car driving straight into it.

Heeseung was on the side the car was rammed into. It’s a miracle he’s even still alive.

“y/n?”

The call jolts you out of your dissociation.

“Hey,” The professor walks up the stairs, and only now do you realise everybody else had left the lecture hall besides you. “I had the others hand up their projects but I saw you zoning out and I couldn’t do it.”

“Sorry,” Mumbling under your breath, you give the folder a quick flip-through before handing him the document. “Here.”

With pursed lips, he takes the folder and glances through it, skimming through the contents and pausing on the last page where you and Heeseung had signed off on.

“I’m sorry it happened.”

“I’m sorry the school had to go through so much to catch the idiot,” Through gritted teeth, you offer him a small wince.

“Well, yeah, that too,” The professor pulls up the lecture table from the seat next to you and sits himself in the plastic grove. “But it’s not important now. He’s going to be charged for God knows how many felonies, but I just- I wanted to know how you’re holding up.”

The concerned question thrums chills through you. Heeseung would’ve asked that. Jay would’ve too.

Jake and Sunghoon have probably tried, but you’re too busy crying or zoning out at the hospital to process anything else even if they did try.

“I’m fine,” You shake your head and stuff your iPad into your bag. “There’s nothing anybody can do to make him wake up faster.”

“I know that. It’s just... I don’t want a student ending her semester like this.”

The grumble of the zip as you close your bag is disgustingly loud in the empty lecture hall. You hug your bag, slowly looping your arm through one of the holes as you push the lecture table away.

“I’ll be fine. I’m leaving next week anyway and Heeseung’s not dead, so.”

The professor goes quiet upon the declaration.

“Thanks for the fun sem, Prof,” You give him a tiny, wretched smile that’s not genuine at all, lifting a leg over the backrest of the seat in front of you. “I’ll tell my dad to say hi to you every now and then.”

Finally on both your feet one row before him, he looks at you with sad, tired eyes.

“It’s been a pleasure having you and Heeseung as students, y/n. Do come back to visit when you come visit your father.”

A bare nod shakes your head.

“Bye prof.”

The ceiling looks the same. The light dangling from the beige, crusty roof looks dusty.

The room looks the same - except the fact that 80% of it were in boxes now. The clock hung on the wall has the loudest ticking you’ve ever heard - had it been this loud since the start?

Bzzzzt. Bzzzzzzzt. Bzzz-

“Hello.”

“Jesus Christ, how many times do you want me to call you before you’d pick up?”

Maybe until Heeseung wakes up.

“You know what? Don’t answer that.”

A pause.

“How are you holding up?”

“Great. I mean the sem’s over. I’ve handed up almost every project I need to submit.”

“Fuck you, you know I don’t mean that.”

“What am I supposed to tell you? I’m great, while I wait for my two friends to recover in the hospital? One of them’s not even awake.”

“I don’t want to be that person but no matter how much you cry or pray that he wakes up, it’s going to take time, okay? Let him rest and recuperate and he’ll spring back to life like he wasn’t just in an accident.”

“I shouldn’t have let them take the Uber.”

“For crying out loud, it is not your fault. You told them your dad was coming to get you and Jay didn’t want to cancel it for the fee. It’s a normal reaction. Who was supposed to know the Uber was rigged?”

You blink.

“Have you packed?”

You count the boxes in your room. “Mostly.”

“I’ll be at your place when you come home. We can bake cupcakes and cookies and you can tell me about the school there.”

Your ears are taking in her words but your eyes are on the paper bag on your desk. It’s the tumbler that Jay got you.

“Hello? You there?”

“Byeol, what if they don’t wake up before I leave? I have 8 days.”

“Have some faith in them, would you? Jay’s already awake right? He’s just flitting in and out of consciousness and Heeseung... They haven’t said he’s in critical condition, right?”

“But he’s been in the ER and it’s been three days.”

“Sis, I could sleep for three days. He’ll be awake before you leave.”

“Hope so.”

“Not going to the hospital?”

“Nah,” You roll over onto your side and stare at yourself in the mirror on your wardrobe doors. “Their friends are swarming the wards. It’s fine, Jake and Hoon got me onto the special visitors’ list.”

“There’s a special visitors’ list?”

“It’s Jay and it’s an expensive hospital with classier management. So yeah, pretty much.”

“That’s nice.”

Silence - except the occasional crackling of the static on the phone.

“They’ll do fine, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I have to go now. I’ll call you tonight or tomorrow, I’ll text you?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye bye.”

The car ride with your father is quiet, the gentle music from the stereo playing and you’re thinking about how your mother is back at home. She is a busy woman back home too so you hadn’t really had the time to call or text her.

For the first time in a long time, your father knows more about your life than she does.

“I know you’re probably not in the mood to answer this but...” The car slows at a red light. “Have you started packing?”

You don’t turn. The trees outside are swaying gently in the light breeze on this sunny day. It reminds you of the day Heeseung brought you out to the beach for your picnic.

“I’m about 80% done. The stuff left’s like my laptop and iPad and daily appliances.”

“That’s good,” You see him nod in the window’s reflection and glance at you. “Well, I’ll come by and hand you the documents for credit transfer later this week and I’ll send you to the bus terminal next Wednesday too, yeah?”

“Mhm,” Humming to yourself, the refracted red light turns green. “Sure.”

The car starts again. “Hun, I... I just wanted you to know that I know this sem has been difficult for you. I’m- I’m sorry that I suggested you come. Had I known that there was going to be a lunatic running on the loose, I would’ve stopped you from coming.”

“You wouldn’t have known,” You mumble, but still loud enough for him to hear. “It’s fine, it’s over.”

“And with what happened with Jay and Heeseung... I’m sorry. I really am.”

“They would’ve gotten caught up in this crazy shitfest with the psycho anyway, regardless of my presence,” Finally turning to look at your father, he side-eyes you while keeping his hands on the steering wheel. “It’s not anybody’s fault except that psycho’s that this happened.”

Your father remains quiet, unable to respond. The car drives into the sheltered drop-off point at the hospital and he watches you unbuckle the seat belt to let yourself out the car.

“Hey.”

You sling your bag over your shoulder and rest a hand on the car door.

“They’ll be okay.”

A weak smile pulls your lips up your cheeks.

“I hope so.”

By the time you’ve reached the floor where the wads were, you’ve run into a good number of their friends. Of course, there were one or two bad apples among the bunch, but most of them knew you were on a special visitors’ list and that’s why you came so late.

It never gets easier though, the look on their faces when you know they want to tell you that they’ll be okay, but promises should not be made if they cannot be kept.

Walking into Jay’s ward, you see his mother helping to sponge his face while Jake and Sunghoon speak to a friend on the other side of the bed.

You catch the room’s attention when you pull the plastic bag out from your bag and let the door shut behind you, Jay’s mother looking up and offering you a tired smile.

“Oh, hey,” Jake grins and beckons you over.

“Hi Mrs Park,” You gesture to Jake to wait before holding out the plastic bag to Jay’s mother. “It’s a box of tonic for you and Mr Park. Thought of getting fruits but I don’t think Jay can have them yet.”

“Gosh, you really didn’t have to,” She shakes her head and sets the cloth down by the bed. “Thank you. Are you sure you’re okay, coming to visit so often? You’re here everyday, aren’t you?”

You return her a tight, pursed smile. “Yeah, but it’s fine. I’m leaving to go home next week so I don’t have much time left to spend with them. I don’t mind.”

“Oh, honey,” She stands and takes the box from you, turning to set it down on the table behind her before returning you her attention. “I... I don’t know what to say. This must be all a lot for you.”

You break the eye contact first, knowing that you were probably going to cry if you hadn’t stopped looking at her.

“No, it’s fine,” You raise a palm and rub her upper arm. “All I want is to have a decent conversation with Jay before I leave, and I’ll be more than satisfied.”

“Oh!” She exclaims, nose crunching into a threatened crying mess. She holds her arms open and coerces you into her arms, patting the back of your head. “Of course. Of course, Jay will be fine by the time you need to go home. I promise.”

“I really do hope so,” You pull away first and smile weakly at her.

“By the way, Mr and Mrs Lee are with Heeseung in the ward next door,” She sniffles, anxiously rubbing her palms together.

“Oh, right- Do they know I’m on the-”

“Yes, of course they do, sweet heart,” She quickly rubs your arm to comfort you, then slides her hands down to yours to keep them in her palms. “Their parents are the sweetest couple ever and they’d be so grateful that Heeseung has a friend like you. How about I have Jake or Sunghoon bring you over to meet them?”

“Oh,” You watch as she waves to get one of the boys’ attention, Sunghoon quickly pulling away from the crowd to attend to you.

“Would you do me a favour and bring her over to Heeseung’s ward? Introduce her to his parents.”

“Of course,” Sunghoon hurriedly nods and lowers his head out of respect. “Come on.”

“Thanks, Mrs Park,” You turn your feet to follow Sunghoon, but your hands are reluctant to leave hers. “I’ll come back later.”

“No, take your time, sweet.”

With a slight nod, you pull away and trail after Sunghoon out of the ward after leaving your bag with Jake.

The ward door closes with a soft hiss, then Sunghoon pauses right before you can come into view of Heeseung’s ward door, turning over his shoulder to look down at you.

“I don’t mean to bring this up at a bad time but...”

“I know,” You nod. “I know I’ve been an ass the last few weeks. Honestly, I... I didn’t know who I wanted to be endgame either.”

Sunghoon gives your word one more second of thought before he turns around to face you.

“It’s not my business but are you going to choose? Or... just go home next week?”

You frown and look down at your hands, reminiscing the warmth from Jay’s mother.

“I don’t know,” Your voice cracks. “I don’t think I can choose. Even if I do, I have 8 days, and neither of them are awake yet. I don’t... I don’t want to do that to them.”

He takes a deep breath and looks away, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“It’s Heeseung. Choose Heeseung,” He says without looking at you. “The night they got into a crash, Jay texted Jake to tell us that Heeseung kissed you, and that was the moment he decided he would give up.”

The statement tears you apart on the inside.

“Jay’s a tough guy to hurt and he plays his cards fairly and maturely,” Sunghoon nods and finally looks at you. “Don’t feel bad you’re choosing Heeseung over him. He had a truce with Heeseung. About you. And he knows he lost fair and square, so don’t feel upset. Just pour your heart and soul into Heeseung for the rest of the time you’re here, and worry about committing anything else after you’ve gone home.”

You part your lips to breathe, as if it would help you understand any faster or better.

“Anyway, both Heeseung’s parents are in there and they already have an idea who you are so... Just be nice.”

He watches you nod, slightly zoned-out, then pushes the door open.

His parents can tell you’re more preoccupied with the limp, breathing body on the bed than their presence, but they still take it with grace and greet you like they’ve known you your entire life.

The sight of Heeseung being bandaged up with a leg hanging in the air makes you feel like shit.

Who wouldn’t?

Later in the night, after Heeseung’s mother had gone home and his father had left to get coffee, you’re left alone with him and the occasional beeping from the Holter monitor.

There was a bruise and scratch on his left cheek, and his neck, arms and right leg were in a cast. You think about how much he was going to miss dancing when he gets told he’ll need to be on a 6-month break from anything strenuous.

Tired, you pull your earpieces out and plug it into your phone, laying it on the bed while you hover over him to fit the earbuds into his ears. Then you sit back down and scroll through your playlist, playing with the volume buttons to make sure it was softer than the volume you’d normally listen to your music at.

You make your selection, then quietly lay on the mattress with the faint music drizzling the atmosphere’s noise. That’s how quiet the room was.

His fingers were sticking out of his cast, so you play with them. His hair was in his shut eyes, so you gently push them out in case he were to open them.

“One more time, Heeseung. Just one more time before I leave.”

Jay’s mother was sleeping by his bed when you walk in to check on them, bag hanging from your right shoulder and lids heavy from the terrible sleep schedule the past few days.

“Hi.”

And a smile stretches your lips out when you can see him blink, offer you his bright grin, apart from the cut on his eyebrow.

“Hey,” You whisper, walking towards him on the other side of the bed. “How are you feeling?”

Jay clears his throat and blinks. “Had better days, but at least I’m alive.”

A snigger threatens to wake his mother up. “Good. Do you want me to wake your mom up? Maybe get a doctor in to give you a check up or something.”

He shakes his head, even managing a small wave in his fingers laying by his hip. “No, I’m good. I’m going back to sleep soon anyway.”

You lean over and adjust his pillow. “Well, then I shan’t disturb you. I’ll come by again tomorrow.”

“Sure,” He looks up at you and nods. Your gazes meet, for a split second, he can kind of know what you’re thinking of, and you know what he was.

“Thank you for this sem, Jay. I really am.”

He shakes his head. “No, thank you. It was a fun sem because of you.”

“You call being in a hospital ward fun?”

Chuckling, he turns back to look at the ceiling for a second. “You will come back to visit us, won’t you? Zoom call us or something.”

“Of course. We could meet up during the summer break if anything.”

Satisfied, he nods again. “Good.”

“Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow,” You shove your hands into your pockets.

“Okay,” He quietly responds, watching you turn on your heels. “Oh, y/n.”

You turn and raise a brow.

“Heeseung. He’s the one for you, and... he’ll wake up for you. I know he will.”

With a slightly ached grin, you nod and look down at your feet.

“Bye Jay.”

“Bye.”

#enhypennetwork #heeseung scenarios #heeseung imagines #heeseung angst #heeseung x reader #jay scenarios #jay imagines #jay angst #jay x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen angst #enhypen x reader #enhypen fanfic #enhypen series #heeseung series #jay series

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sinfulspencer · 4 years ago

Text

You control me (even if it's just tonight)

Prompt: Y/N and the BAU's team are enjoying a night out at Rossi's.

Sex is the main topic of the night. Morgan and Y/N tease Spencer about him being “too adorable, too vanilla”, so... he has to prove he's not.

Rating: M (smut, rough sex)

Warnings: oral sex (female receiving), hair pulling, spanking, gagging, fingering, choking, over-stimulation, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie. .

Check out my masterlist here.

The night is on your lips and I feel like I'm locked in There's a million lights, I don't care if they're watching Your body is saying everything, I don't have to read your mind

“Thank God we can finally relax, guys.” Y/N huffs

Morgan is sitting beside her, sipping his beer with a smirk on his lips. “That's the best part of the job.” Rossi and Prentiss, on the other side of the room, are chatting about what they're planning to do for this weekend while Spencer is sitting on the couch, his head thrown back against the pillow and a book open on his lap. The whole team is pretty tired after a whole week of investigations, profiles spread all over the town, sleepeless night and too many corpses found in the area. Thankfully, the help of Garcia and JJ got them to the end of the case, arrested the motherfucker and enjoyed their first night of the week with at least 9 hours of sleep. The same number of hours they got to sleep in exacty five days. Y/N is very tired and can't even keep her eyes open, so Garcia made some coffee for JJ, Y/N and herself in her adorable and weird cups. Y/N gets one with the octopus, JJ one with a shark and Garcia has her own favourite cup, one with Cinderella's fairy godmother. “Is Reid asleep?” Rossi asks, walking towards the oval table in his living room Y/N grabs a pen from the table, throwing it at Spencer as he opens his eyes. “Not anymore.”

Morgan chuckles, shaking his head. “Poor thing. He partied too hard last night, he didn't even get to sleep.” JJ and Prentiss sit down at the table, one in front of Y/N and the other next to Rossi. Y/N loves nights like this, where they could get all together for something to eat, something to drink and maybe some gossip that they couldn't share while working on a case. But she knows that somehow they'll end up talking about a case that night. Y/N doesn't mind, but sometimes it's nice to keep her mind off criminals and murderers and kidnappings. Just for one night, just for a couple of hours. Garcia walks out of the kitchen with a normal black mug in her hands. “Spencer, your coffee is ready.” He stretches his arms forward and lets out a soft sigh, nodding. Y/N grabs his coffee mug from Garcia's hands and uses her free hand to grab the sugar bowl with a spoon.

“How much sugar tonight, Spence?” asks Y/N

The doctor stands up from the couch, slowly walking towards the empty seat by her side. “Surprise me.”

Y/N simply nods, amused by the fact that he trusts her with his precious coffee. She knows he loves sugar with a little bit of coffee – that's what Morgan always says to him when he's the one making coffee for all the others at work – so she pours at least three spoons of sugar in the mug, mixing the liquid. And when the coffee is ready, Y/N hands the mug to Spencer as he leans his head on her shoulder.

“Oh, pretty boy is tired. - JJ coos, grinning – You should go to bed.”

Spencer lifts his head as Y/N wrinkles her nose, annoyed that her female colleague bothered him. She didn't mind having him laying against her like that, he was actually very warm and he smelled like vanilla.

“No, it's fine. Coffee will help me. - Spencer replies, taking out the spoon from the mug – Thank you, Y/N”

She shoots him a smile, taking a sip of her milk and coffee. “No problem. Did you come here with your car?”

He shakes his head. “No, I took the bus. I was hoping you'd give me a ride at the end of the night.”

Garcia and Prentiss look at each other. This is the first time Spencer asked Y/N for a ride – and they both know he had asked her because he wants to be alone with her for a while. The two women noticed that Spencer acted in a totally different way when he was with Y/N, than his usual self. He was more nervous, stiffer but he kept eye contact with Y/N as much as he could – and, of course, he spent a lot of time simply watching her with that dumb smile on his lips.

They tried to talk to Spencer about it, to convince him somehow to do something about his crush, but every single time they brought up “Y/N is single” or “Y/N is very pretty”, he tended to shut them down and focus on other things.

It's not really a surprise, Spencer has always been quite.. private.

Garcia and JJ, on the other hand, noticed the same thing but on Y/N's side but at least she was honest about it and straight-up told JJ that she had a very big crush on Spencer, but she didn't know what to do with him. JJ suggested her to simply flirt a bit with him, calling him with pet names or sitting by his side every time during their case. So Y/N did that. And she even got to hang out with him for a whole night.

Even though they were working on a case in his bedroom, Y/N still felt like she had won something. By the end of the night – it was almost 5 in the morning – Spencer told her that he was very tired and he wanted to go to bed, so Y/N took that as a “get out of my bedroom” sign. But then, as she was grabbing her shoes and her purse, Spencer asked her to keep him company. So she did.

And they slept in the same bedroom: Spencer on the small couch, Y/N on the king-sized bed – even though she would've loved to sleep next to him, with his arms wrapped around her and his lips pressed against her neck.

After that night, nothing “more serious” had happened. JJ told Y/N that it was fine, that it probably was a big step for him, so she just needed to wait for another on of his moves. Sure, they flirted on the jet while flying from one country to another, they worked together on other cases, she made him coffee almost every morning and he bought her lunch for three days straight, but still. Nothing else.

Y/N wanted more.

“I heard there's a new bar down the block. - Rossi says, leaning back against the chair – We could have a drink there this weekend, if you're all up for it.”

Garcia giggles, shaking her head. “I can't. I have a date, actually.”

Morgan raises an eyebrow, leaning in. “Babygirl, why didn't you tell me?”

JJ and Prentiss laugh, while Spencer takes another sip of coffee from his mug. His eyes are fixed on Y/N's face, not leaving her for a single second. She can feel his stare on her skin but she doesn't have the courage to turn around, pinch him on the thigh and tell him something. He can stare however he wants – but he could also touch her, it would be amazing too.

“Well, you know, we talked this morning and he said he wanted to take me out. - Garcia explains, placing with the edge of her mug – But you guys should go out anyway! I know some of you need to get laid. Especially you, Y/N.”

She opens her mouth, not expecting her colleague to say that. “I...”

Prentiss covers her mouth with a hand. “Isn't it right?”

Y/N doesn't mind talking about sex, it's nice to talk about it and find out more about her colleague's thoughts on it – all of her colleagues saw her reading sex books at the end of a case, on the jet while coming back home. But still, Y/N wasn't expecting Garcia to call her out like that and she can feel Spencer's eyes on her the whole time.

It's difficult to breathe when he's looking at her that way.

“Hm, I haven't gotten laid in a very long time. - Y/N manages to crook out, blushing – Maybe this new bar will bring me some fun.”

JJ raises an eyebrow, noticing Spencer's eyes shifting on hers before going back to Y/N. “How long since your last time, Y/N? We actually have never heard you talking about a possible date or something.”

Rossi turns his head towards Spencer, smirking when he sees the young doctor shiting on his chair. “Spencer, is everything okay? Are you excited to try this new bar out and see what chick come to your way?”

Morgan laughs at his friend's remark. “Yeah, pretty boy, do you need to get laid?”

Y/N turns her body around to look at Spencer, hoping the conversation would stay on him and his business for the rest of the night but the doctor is looking at her, a tight smile on his lips. Y/N knows she has to break the silence or someone could ask more personal questions – sex is not a taboo, of course, but some things should stay secret and buried in her mind.

“I mean, who doesn't need to get laid here?”

Prentiss, JJ, Rossi, Morgan and Garcia raise their hands. Y/N stares at them, then covers her face with hand as she shakes her head. She can feel her cheeks getting redder.

“Oh come on, Y/N! - Morgan exclaims, capturing her attention – How long?”

They all look quite surprised that Y/N hasn't had sex in a while, probably because she's a very attractive young woman and they assumed she had sex at least once a week. Y/N let out a soft sigh – and fuck it, they wouldn't judge her on the most natural thing in the world. Right?

“At least three years. The last time I had sex, I was still with Leonard. - Y/N says, shrugging as she takes a sip of her coffee – My first year in the BAU, yeah.”

Garcia places a hand over her heart. “Oh honey, you need to get laid!”

Y/N blushes, giggling at the same time. “I know, I just don't find the time to do that.”

Spencer lowers his eyes, scratching the back of his neck. “And I don't find the right people to do that.”

Rossi immediately looks at the young doctor. “What did you say, boy wonder?”

“Boy wonder, pretty boy”, Y/N loves Spencer's nicknames.

They fit him so perfectly because he really is a wonder, and he really is pretty. One of the most attractive Y/N has ever laid her eyes on in her whole life, way better than her ex boyfriend Leonard. She whishes Spencer would look at her the way she does.

“I said that I don't find the right people to do that, you know? - Spencer says, this time in a higher voice – I just don't like going to a bar and stare at women like they're objects. I'd rather spend the whole night talking to someone and then see what happens.”

Y/N quickly nods, leaning back against her chair. “Yeah, same. I'm not like you, Morgan.”

“Hey! That was rude. - Morgan exclaims, rolling his eyes – But I get it, you both need psychological arousal before actually having sex with someone. That's fair.”

JJ and Prentiss look at each other, then they turn around to stare at the two “lovebirds” sitting really close to one another. They would be the perfect couple: both very smart, both very attractive, both clumsy and romantic, both book-geeks, both curious, both open-minded and both amazing listeners, conversationists and interesting people. The only thing that was missing was... well, something that actually forced them to tell each other how they felt.

“Why don't you both give it a try?” Rossi asks

Morgan almost chokes on his beer, turning his head around. JJ and Prentis start laughing, covering their mouths while Garcia tries her hardest not to laugh again. Spencer looks almost offended while Y/N wants the floor to open up and swallow her without even hesitating.

“That would ruin our professional relationship, Morgan. - Spencer says, his voice calculated and stern – She is a very attractive woman, but she's my colleague. I wouldn't do that.”

Y/N lowers her eyes, a sharp pain spreading in her chest. She knew he wouldn't be so open about the idea of having sex with her, but still, she felt a big rejected. He wouldn't have sex with her because they work together, but if they weren't colleagues, he would?

That question running through her head makes her open her mouth.

“So.. would you fuck me if we weren't colleagues?”

This time is Rossi who almost chokes on his beer, as Prentiss and Garcia widen their eyes. They were not expecting her to be so straight-forward, but Y/N doesn't want to let this go. If he found her attractive, why wouldn't he give it a go? Y/N was literally waiting for him to do something to her, but she wasn't going to be the one to make the first move. Ever.

JJ smirks on the other side of the table, crossing her legs. “That's actually a good point.”

Spencer shifts again on his chair. “Well, I...”

“Pretty boy, you can speak. I'm sure she won't bite. - Garcia exclaims, snapping her fingers – Unless you want her to. Right, Y/N?”

Y/N winks at her, feeling more at ease now.

Does coffee and milk have some kind of effect on people's behaviour the same way alcohol has?

Because she feels like she's drunk. Or maybe it's just the fact that her hormones are all over the place when she's around Spencer.

“Come on, Reid. If only I liked women, I'd go for it. - Prentiss says, kicking him under the table and making the others laugh at her words – If Hotch wasn't married, I would fuck him!”

JJ places her coffee mug on the table. “If I wasn't married, I'd go with Morgan.”

“I'd go with Y/N, if only she was interested in me. - Morgan says, winking at Y/N – Unfortunately she has eyes for someone else.”

Y/N blushes hard. She confessed to Morgan her feelings for Spencer on the last night of their case at the beginning of the month. She was drunk, her head pressed against the wooden surface of a pub in Texas, when she basically poured her heart out to Morgan – he was less drunk than her, but still. They've spent the whole night talking about how she should find the strenght to grab Spencer, push him somewhere and just tell him the truth because it was almost overwhelming.

Y/N started working for the BAU three years ago and she had been interested in Spencer ever since – she didn't use the words “in love with” because, well, she didn't want to. She wasn't ready to admit to herself that she has always been in love with him, mostly because he wasn't really interested in her body but only in her mind. Or that's what she thought.

She didn't know that Spencer has thought many times about her, with his hands down his pants and his eyes closed, head thrown back on the pillow as images of her possible naked body straddling him would fill his brain before falling asleep.

“Why is this about me, now? - Spencer mutters, crossing his arms to his chest – Shouldn't we focus on the fact that she hasn't gotten laid in so long?”

Y/N giggles, shaking her head. “Thank you for your concern about my sexual life, Spence.”

“Why don't you help her ending her misery? - Rossi asks without even thinking about it – Come on. I'll even give you my bedroom.”

Prentiss stands up from the chair, laughing. “God, you're scaring him, Rossi.”

JJ taps her fingers against the table. “I'm pretty sure Y/N is not as vanilla as he is, anyway.”

“Uh, did you forget that I'm here and I can hear what you say?” Y/N blushes hard

Garcia whistles, leaning forward. “Oh please, tell me more. Vanilla? What's that?”

Before Y/N could open her mouth to reply, Spencer speaks first.

“Vanilla basically means someone who enjoys sex without twists or kinks. It's plain regular sweet, happy and very lovey-dovey sex. - Y/N turns to look at him, raising an eyebrow – What? I'm not as vanilla as you think I am, Y/N. Just because I don't talk about my sex life, doesn't mean I hate sex. I experience sexual attraction, I like having sex with others.”

She lifts both her hands, rolling her eyes. “Calm down, sweetcheeks. I didn't say anything.”

“What's a kink?” Garcia asks again

Prentiss and JJ step inside of the kitchen, probably to grab a beer or something. Rossi and Morgan are enjoying the conversation, darting their eyes from Spencer to Y/N to see how they react. The conversation isn't over yet and they hope that, by making those kind of references, they'd get the two lovebirds together.

“A kink is a sexual behaviour, a sexual preference someone has. It's something that increases sexual enjoyment like... spanking, choking, hair pulling. - Y/N says, eyes focused on Spencer by his side – It's different from a fetish because a fetish replaces the partner with an object.”

Morgan leans forward. “I guess I have a kink for lingerie, then.”

Rossi laughs, placing his empty bottle down on the table. “I would've never said that.”

“I guess I'm vanilla, then. - JJ mutters, sitting back on the chair in front of Y/N – Me and Will don't have much “mommy and daddy time”, so we haven't explored much. Not yet, at least.”

“What about you, Y/N?” Prentiss asks

The younger woman shifts on the chair, taking the last sip of her milk and coffee.

“Oh, I have a very long list of kinks that I want to try and that I've already tried and loved.”

“Explain.” Spencer says

She looks at him for a second, then blushes. “Well, uhm... Can you promise me nothing of this conversation is going to leave this house?”

“Of course! We would never spread intimate informations to others. - Garcia exclaims, clapping her hands with a mischievous smirk on her lips – Come on, spill. It's been three years and you've never told us any of your spicy secrets.”

Spencer moves his chair so he could face Y/N, getting a bit closer to her.

“Oh, this is going to be so good. - Derek says, pressing his hands together – Tell us.”

JJ leans in, smirking. “I know some of them already.”

Spencer looks at JJ for a few seconds, then raises an eyebrow and turns to look at the other girl by his side, the same girl who's about to open up about her kinks – what if some of them are the same as his? Would it be easier for him to make the first move in the car, later?

“Choking.”

Spencer almost chokes on his coffee. She's into choking, huh? Well, that's definitely an interesting kink to have – and he appears to have it as well. He has imagined many times to have his hand wrapped around her pretty throat, forcing her to look at him in the eyes while he's touching her.

“Choking? Oh, damn. - Rossi says, not surprised – Have you tried it?”

Y/N nods, biting her bottom lip. “Yes. I have. Many times, actually. That was the only thing Leonard was able to do.”

“What do you mean?” Prentiss asks, furrowing her perfectly shaped eyebrows

Y/N shrugs, blushing hard. “Well, I would've liked to have an orgasm once or twice in my life.”

Garcia, JJ, Prentis, Morgan and Rossi all gasp at her confession. Spencer is actually speechless: he remembers when she told him about Leonard breaking up with her after four years. He has always thought that they were having a wonderful sex life, but now... it appears that her ex boyfriend wasn't really that good in bed.

So? She has never had an orgasm? That's fucking frustrating.

“Oh my God! Are you serious?” Morgan widens his eyes

Y/N shrugs, biting her bottom lip. “I've had self-orgasms, but never... you know.”

Garcia immediately stands up, wrapping an arm around Y/N's shoulders. “Poor child, you definitely need someone who can make you come or you'll go crazy. I am so sorry.”

The younger woman chuckles, slowly pulling away from the hug. “Eh, it's fine. I'll find someone, won't I?”

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Y/N lets out a huge sigh and stands up from the chair. She definitely needs something to drink right in that moment, maybe something alcoholic so she can stop thinking about the fact that she admitted that she never had an orgasm before.

Sure, Leonard was nice in bed but he has never been able to actually take her to the finish line. She tried to talk about it to him, but he always got so offended to the point he would storm out of their old apartment.

“Vanilla boy, what do you say? What's your kink?” Rossi asks

Y/N steps inside Rossi's kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge. All this “sex talking” is getting to her head but she doesn't mind, it's actually very refreshing to talk about sex with someone different than JJ when they're sharing a room during one of their cases.

“I bet you have a foot fetish.” Morgan sneers

Prentiss chuckles, pulling out her phone from her purse. “I wish I could stay here a little longer but my dear boyfriend wants me home in an hour. I want to know more about your kinks, Spencer!”

The young doctor rolls his eyes, fidgeting the edge of his shirt. “I don't have a foot fetish, Morgan. Maybe you do, but I don't. I don't think I have any fetish, I have a lot of kinks though. And I'm probably less vanilla than you, chocolate fudge.”

Y/N giggles when she comes back to the living room, placing her beer bottle on the table as she walks towards Prentiss. She hugs her tightly and opens the entrance door for her, waving until she's safe and in her car. Not that Prentiss needs a bodyguard, but still.

“Tell me one of them, then. - Morgan says, raising his eyebrows – We're all curious.”

Y/N grabs her beer bottle and sits next to JJ, leaving the empty chair next to Spencer so he's all alone in front of her, JJ, Morgan and Rossi. Spencer is blushing hard, probably because he's not really used to talk about sex in front of others, and Y/N finds it so fucking cute and pretty. She wants to stand up, sit on his lap and shower him with kisses all over his face.

Or maybe she'd get on his knees for him, she'd love it.

“I like gagging.”

Y/N's eyes snap on his face, noticing he's looking at her.

So he likes to gag people? With what, tissues or maybe a part of body?

“Oh, that's nice. - Y/N says, agreeing with him – Same, honestly.”

JJ and Rossi look at each other, both smirking.

“See? She'd be perfect for you, Spencer! - JJ exclaims, touching Y/N's knee – Maybe you'd help her having the first orgasm with her life.”

Y/N shakes her head, embarrassed beyond limits. “Please, stop trying to make him hook up with me. If we want to fuck in my car later, we will. We don't need your help, do we, Spencer?”

Spencer immediately agrees, taking the last sip of coffee. “Exactly. Thank you, Y/N.”

And so the sex talk finally ends, shifting to another topic for the next hour and a half.

***

It's almost two in the morning and Y/N feels extremely tired. She can't wait to go back home, strip from all of her clothes and jump into her bed to take a very long, long sleep. She needs it or she'll pass out during lunch with her mother the day after – she probably shouldn't have accepted to go out to Rossi's apartment with the team, but still. She needed to see Spencer before Monday.

The conversation with the team is slowly coming to an end, forcing all of them to stand up and get ready to leave Rossi's apartment. After a second beer, Spencer decided to change his chair and sit back on the couch; he even asked Y/N to join him, which she did, and wrapped an arm around her shoulders while she laid her head on his chest.

She actually enjoyed being so close to him, smelling his soft scent and having her hair caressed by his skilled fingers. She wonders if he noticed the way she got really comfortable by his side, letting herself wrap an arm around his waist to pull him closer to her. Maybe he didn't notice, but JJ and Rossi did – and they probably texted Prentiss and Garcia, who left a bit later, to tell them the good news.

Y/N doesn't really care about what they think.

It's obvious that she has a thing for Spencer, so what? It's not like it would ruin everything in the team – unless Spencer rejcts her in a bad way and leaves the BAU, but Y/N knows he would never do that.

Even if he's not interested in her, Spencer would never hurt her or tell her something that'd upset her. He's a sweetheart, he's romantic and he cares for her. He was her first friend in the BAU, they got close to each other basically two days after their first meeting so.. Y/N trusts him. She would take a bullet for him.

“I'll see you all this Monday, then.” Rossi says, standing on the door step

Y/N quickly nods, closing her jacket on her chest. “Yes. Thank God it's not paperwork day.”

“I'm allergic to paperwork. - Rossi mutters, shaking his head – Goodnight, guys. Drive safely.”

JJ, Morgan, Y/N and Spencer walks away from Rossi's apartment to reach the small parking lot right behind his house. Spencer doesn't leave Y/N's side, almost as if he's terrified he might remain right there, alone, and has to walk home in the middle of the night.

He doesn't even have his gun with him.

JJ opens her car with her automatic key. “As always, it was a pleasure.”

Morgan gives her a quick hug. “See you on Monday, JJ.”

Y/N winks at her, blowing her a kiss. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

“Always. Don't worry. - JJ says, putting her bag in the backseats – Goodnight Spencer.”

He lifts his hand, waving at her. “'Night.”

JJ gets in her own car as Morgan and Y/N walks towards their with Spencer.

Y/N grabs her keys from her bag and clicks them, opening the car. “Morgan.”

“Babygirl. - he whispers, hugging her quickly – Goodnight, sleep well. And don't tease our pretty boy too much while you're driving, wouldn't want his not-so-vanilla side come out at the wrong time.”

Spencer rolls his eyes at his friend tease, shaking his head. “You are so incredibly annoying, Morgan. I don't know how Savannah can stand you, literally.”

“What can I say? - Morgan smirks, winking at both of them – I'm good in bed, I guess.”

Y/N laughs along with him, jumping in her car with Spencer by her side. She has always loved the way Morgan is so open and so fun, she likes his behaviour and she loves the relationship he has with Garcia. She wonders if she'll ever find someone to have a similar relationship with. Y/N loves teasing.

Spencer closes the car door, putting his seatbelt on. Y/N starts the engine, not driving out of the parking lot, and grabs her phone before giving it to Spencer.

“I don't remember your address, I need my GPS.”

“Oh, you don't trust my directions?” Spencer asks, pretending to be offended

Y/N gives him a weird look, chuckling right after. “The last time you gave me your address, we ended up in the middle of nowhere with JJ and Morgan behind us.”

“That wasn't my fault! I was drunk! - Spencer tells her, rolling his eyes – Morgan challenged me with the twenty vodka shots at The Angel. It wasn't my fault.”

She giggles, placing her phone next to the steering wheel. “Sure, keep telling yourself that, sweetcheeks.”

A comfortable silence washes over the car as Y/N slowly pulls out of the parking lot to follow her GPS' directions towards Spencer's house. She's glad he's not talking, but at the same time she wishes he would open her mouth and tell her something. Whatever he wants, she doesn't mind. Y/N really likes his voice, it's soothing and relaxed, and hot.

She wonders how his voice would sound if he whispered something against her ear, maybe from behind with his arms wrapped around her waist and his hip...

“So you've never had an orgasm before.”

Y/N stops at a traffic light, turning for a second to look at him. “Is it so horrible to imagine?”

“Orgasmic dysfunction is a condition that occours when someone has difficulty reaching orgasms, usually when they're sexually aroused. The contributing factors might include older age, but you're not old; the use of certain medications, particularly antidepressants, shyness, cultural or religious beliefs... - Spencer starts to ramble as Y/N beings to drive again – Or maybe unresolved conflicts, lack of trust, stress, poor self-esteem, anxiety, depression. The inability to orgasm can lead to distress, which may make it even harder to achieve orgasm in the future.”

Y/N taps her fingers against the wheel. “What are your conclusions, doctor?”

“He wasn't as good as he thought he was in bed, maybe. - Spencer adds, shrugging without looking at her – You said that you were able to, uhm, come by yourself. I think it's called situational anorg..”

She lets out a huge sigh, keeping her eyes on the road in front of her.

“He was the problem, Spencer. He wasn't able to use his tongue, his fingers, let alone his dick. He cared about himself and his own pleasure instead of mutually sharing the experience.”

He bites his bottom lip, tapping his foot. “Well, I am sorry. It must be really frustrating.”

“Not really. I mean, one day I'll find someone who can make me come. - Y/N replies, not really wanting to keep diving into her “secret” - For now, I'm quite satisfied with myself.”

Spencer remains silent for a few minutes, turning his head towards the window of her car.

He is completely alone with her in her car, far away from the others and all those weird teasing phrases that kept bothering him every single day. Morgan and Hotchner tried to make him hook up with her many times by booking a bedroom for two under their names, but Y/N has always managed to find a way to change that booking and sleeping with JJ instead. Spencer didn't mind because if he got to sleep with Y/N in the middle of a working-weel, he would've forced her to spend the whole day in bed with him instead of going out to work on a case.

He has the chance of touching her or try to talk to her about something he can help her with, but what if she rejects him and pulls him away? Or what if she gets repulsed by him and the idea of being with him?

“Well, if you ever need help, I'm here.”

Y/N blinks, not really sure she heard him right. “What?”

“To talk. - Spencer coughs, covering his mouth with a hand – I meant, to talk. I'm here for you if you need to talk to someone, you know. I'm always here for you.”

This would be the perfect time for her to shoot her shot. They're stopping at another traffic light and there's silence, which means Y/N could actually say something to change the course of their night.

“You could also physically help me, if you're in the mood. - Y/N whispers, tightening the grip on the steering wheel – See if there's something wrong with me or if my ex boyfriend was just a useless piece of meat when we tried to have sex.”

Spencer gulps, biting his bottom lip again. She asked him to have sex, basically.

But what should he do? Accept and have the best night of his life with the woman he's been thirsting over for the past three years or reject her in order to keep his sanity while he's at work?

If they end up having sex that night, Spencer knows he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about her when he sees her at work – and that would definitely be a disaster, because they all need to be focused on the job. But still. It's just sex. It's a normal thing, everybody has it, everybody has done it or will do it in their life, so why would it have to ruin everything?

“Are you asking me to make you come?”

A little smile appears on her lips. “Yes. Do you think you can do it?”

Spencer shifts on the seat. “I don't understand if you're serious or are you just joking.”

The GPS tells Y/N that they're almost at Spencer's apartment. She bites her bottom lip, not really sure how to reply to that. She hoped her voice, more stern, would help him understand that she's on the verge of begging him to touch her but apparently he needs a little more encouragement.

“Why would I joke about this? - she asks, turning the wheel to the right until she stops in front of the white building on her left – If you don't believe me, you can just say no and we'll stop talking about this.”

Spencer looks at his left, then turns around to stare at the woman by his side. She doesn't take off her seatbelt, probably waiting for a sign from him. He's hesitating because he really doesn't know what to do. He has the perfect opportunity to have sex with her, to touch the way he dreamed of, to be touched by those hands he had fantasies about.

But what if it's just a plan that the others had elaborated to make fun of him?

No, they would never do that. They love him, they care for him. Morgan loves to tease him and make fun of him but not in a bad way, in a friendly and jokingly way.

“I don't want to say no, Y/N. That's the problem.”

She takes off her seatbelt. “And I don't want to force you to do anything.”

“I thought you were too tired and wanted to go home. - Spencer whispers, biting his bottom lip – But if you're too tired to drive, you can stop by my house for the night.”

Y/N tilts her head. “I might accept your offer, if you don't mind.”

He quickly shakes his head, stepping out of the car. His heart is beating so fast in his chest to the point he's scared it might jump out from his throat because this is happening all too fast. Spencer closes the door behind his back and walks towards his apartment, followed by Y/N who closes her car with her keys and puts them back in her bag. He hopes she can't see the way his fingers are shaking.

Spencer pulls out his card from his pocket and slides it against the locker device on the door. A little “click” can be heard, later on the door opens and Spencer walks inside his living room, soon followed by Y/N.

It's not the first time she goes to his house.

She remembers the first weekend at the BAU, Morgan and Prentiss decided to have a little gathering somewhere. And Spencer offered his house, inviting all of them there. And they had so much fun, playing board games and drinking white wine.

“Are you cold, Y/N? I can start the fire, if you want.”

She takes off her jacket. “No, it's fine. Your house is already warm, I don't want to get too hot.”

Spencer simply nods, grabbing her jacket and hanging it behind the locked door. There's only one thing in his mind so when he turns around, he realizes it by grabbing Y/N by the waist and pulling her closer to his chest as she widens her eyes. She looks up at him, her eyes staring back at his.

“I would love to help you. Physically.”

A smirk appears on her lips. “I was hoping you would, actually.”

Y/N's hand slides up on his chest, caressing the exposed skin of his collarbones. Her finger tips are so delicate, touching his skin while she leans forward with her head. Spencer lowers his eyes to look at her, enoying the soft touch of her hand, and brushes the tip of his nose against her before letting their lips meet in a very chaste kiss. There's no lust, no passion in it.

It's sweet. Maybe a little too much for her taste, but Y/N doesn't want to rush things. Even though the only thing she needs right in that moment, is for him to push her down on her knees and gag her with his cock while forcing her to take all of him in her mouth.

Y/N moans softly on his lips, licking his bottom lip before sliding her tongue inside of his mouth. She can feel the little hint of coffee mixed with beer, it's hot. And it's delicious. She might get already addicted to his taste, but she bet he'd taste even sweeter somewhere else.

Spencer moves his hand from her waist to her back, pressing her body against his. A soft moan escapes from her lips, forcing him to pull away for a few seconds. He looks at her, noticing her full of lust her eyes are, as a little smile appear on his mouth. She looks fucking sinful in that moment.

“Are you sure you want this?” Spencer asks

Y/N takes his face in her hands, gently brushing her thumbs over his cheekbones. “Yes. I want you.”

That was all he needed to know. His lips press against hers one more time, the light stubble along his cheeks scratches the soft skin around her lips but she doesn't care. No, the only thing she can focus on is the way he's pushing her towards his body, moving his hips against hers.

Spencer slides his hand down to her thighs, picking the girl up in the middle of the living room. Y/N doesn't realize that they moved to another room until Spencer lays her down on his bed, hovering over her as their lips keep meeting in passionate kisses.

His tongue moves across Y/N's, his hands forcing her to open her legs as he presses his hip against her again and again. She can feel his erection through his dark trousers pressing on her thigh, leaving her breathless.

“Fuck, Spencer.”

Y/N runs a hand through his hair, pulling it lightly. Spencer interrupts the kiss and pulls away from her mouth, making its way down her neck. A loud moan echoes through the room as she arches her back while Spencer kisses the tender skin on her throat, while his right hand slowly wraps around it.

“You are so fucking hot like this, Y/N.”

She grins, opening her eyes. “I would look way hotter without my clothes.”

Spencer smiles softly, lifting his body up. “Oh yeah? Show me, then. Undress yourself.”

He moves on his bed, laying down on the mattress with both hands behind his neck. Y/N blinks, then gives him a huge smile as she steps down the bed. She quickly takes off her shoes and her socks, pulling down her trousers.

“Thank God I put on my favourite pair of panties!” - she thinks, removing her dark blue blouse.

“I love your body, you know that?”

Y/N shakes her head, leaving her clothes on the floor before jumping again on the bed and slowly straddling Spencer's body. His hands end up on her bottom, squeezing it slightly while his mouth covers her once against. Y/N starts grinding against him, moaning softly on his lips, as she lifts his shirt.

Spencer lets her undress him as quickly as they can, finally feeling her hot skin pressed on his.

“Were you expecting to get laid tonight?” Spencer asks

Y/N shakes her head again. “No, actually. But I'm glad I put on this lingerie.”

“Dark blue is my favourite color. - he whispers, brushing the tip of his index around her right nipple – You should wear it more often, both on your clothes and your underwear.”

Y/N will definitely do that in the future. “Gladly.”

Spencer unclasps her bra, throwing it on the floor along with their clothes, and before she can move to take off his trousers, his mouth attacks her nipple. A loud moan echoes through the room as Y/N bites her bottom lip, moving her hips against his thigh while Spencer starts playing with her other nipple. He twists it softly, making her whimper with her eyes now closed.

His hands are still on her bottom, grabbing it tightly to the point she knows he left his handprints on her skin – but she doesn't care, she wants everything he can give her. Spencer starts sucking on her right nipple, flicking his tongue against and around it until she starts moaning faster and louder. She has always loved nipple play but unfortunately her boyfriend wasn't on the same page as her.

“Spence, stop. - she manages to whisper – I need to...”

“Go ahead, princess. - he says, helping her to lift her body up – Do whatever you want.”

She obeys quickly, pulling his trousers and his boxers down. Now he's completely naked under her body and Y/N is shocked because she didn't know he was actually fucking packing.

Like, very long and thick. She doesn't even know if she'll be able to take it all inside of her without her crying in pain.

But she quickly recovers, straddling him again. The tip of his cock is slightly pressed to her core, forcing her to rock her hips forward as a soft moan escapes from his lips. It's soft, needy, just like hers. And Y/N swears she has never heard of a more beautiful sound before in her life.

She can feel herself getting wetter and wetter by the seconds, so she quickly pulls down her panties until she's finally completely naked on his body. There's nothing separating the two of them. She can easily slides her hand down his torso, grab his cock and push it inside of her without hesitating but... Not yet. She wants to enjoy his fingers, his mouth, his gorgeous body before actually having the pleasure of being fucked by him.

Spencer lifts his right hand, pushing two fingers in her mouth. Y/N allows him to do that, feeling his fingertips pressing down on her tongue.

“I want you to suck my fingers while you ride my thighs.”

And who's Y/N to reject him of such a delicious order?

She slowly nods, blinking when Spencer begins to bounce his knee slightly, eliciting a whine from Y/N as he closes her eyes. Her tongue touches the tip of two fingers, wetting them as she moves her hips to match his movements. The knot behind her belly button is growing fast, heat spreads through her body and on her cheeks as she uses her left hand to steady herself on his body.

She has never been so aroused before.

Spencer presses his fingers on her tongue, forcing her to open her mouth. She looks straight into his eyes, grinding faster against his thighs. The pressure on her clit is getting heavier, more pleasure, more intense and her thighs are starting to shake.

Is this what an orgasm caused by someone feels like?

“Good girl. You're being so good, princess.”

His voice is deep, filled with desire and lust. A low moan comes out of his mouth as Y/N throws her head back when his fingers leave her lips, sliding down on her body. Spencer starts to play with both her nipples, bouncing his leg to allow her to have more friction. Her wetness is sliding down his thigh as Spencer bites his bottom lip, twisting her nipples between his fingers.

“I think I'm gonna come.”

Y/N's moans grow louder and louder, leaving her lips in a lithany of low sounds. Spencer has never seen a more beautiful creature in his life before, as she moves quickly against his leg.

“Come for me, Y/N. I want you to come.”

His right hand leaves her nipple, his fingers dig deep into her hip as he follows her pace, bouncing his knee to meet her movements. Y/N whines, wanting to finally have a decent orgasm. And as soon as Spencer grabs a fistful of her hair with his left hand, the pure ecstasy of the moment takes over her body as she reaches her climax.

“Spencer, fuck!”

He keeps a slow rhytm for her, helping her ride her first ever not-self orgasm. Her face is red from the heat, a single sweat drop falls from her forehead down her chest and Spencer leans forward to press a long kiss at the base of her throat.

Y/N is shaking as she collapses against his body, her chest raising up and down. She tries to catch her breath, grasping the sheets by his left side as Spencer slowly rolls over her body. Y/N closes her legs, panting hard with her eyes closed.

It felt so good, so liberating to finally have an orgasm not caused by a vibrator or her own fingers,

“Good girl. - Spencer says in her ear, pressing a soft kiss on her lips – You've been such a good girl.”

Y/N throws her head back on the pillow, sighing. “That was...”

“Just the beginning.”

She opens her eyes again, finding him smirking at her. Uh-oh. “What are you planning to do?”

Spencer doesn't reply to her.

Instead, he opens her legs and lays down between them as he leaves a trace of delicate kisses from her chest to her belly button. He nips at her skin, making his way downtown until he leaves another kiss on her clit.

Y/N grabs his right hand, placing it on her breast. “I'm oversensitive now.”

Still, Spencer doesn't say anything. Instead, he laps at her clit in response and Y/N swears she has just been thrown in the space, into the Iperuranium or some-fucking-where in the world. He slips two fingers inside of her and starts massaging her clit with his thumb, sucking on it gently while he listens to her soft moans echoing in his bedroom.

He has dreamed about tasting her, feeling her wetness on his tongue, hearing her voice when she's about to come, making her come. And he's doing all of that in one night.

“God, fuck. Don't stop.”

He hums, pumping his fingers into her as he looks up. “I'm not planning to stop.”

She gives him a smile before throwing her head back. She tries to buck her hips, moving it to encourage him to go faster, but Spencer pins her waist down with his free arm. And he goes back to suck gently on her clit, feeling her thighs shaking around him and her juices coaxing his chin, his lips.

But she tastes so fucking good.

“Spencer.. I'm gonna..”

She yelps in pure ecstasy when the second orgasm hits her body like a thunder. Y/N grips the bed sheets with a hand, using the other to pull harder and harder on Spencer's hair. Her eyes rolls back into her head, her legs close around Spencer's head as waves of pleasure wash her whole body.

Her eyebrows are furrowed, her cheeks are read with pleasure and she's shaking. Spencer feels himself growing harder and harder as the seconds go by. He desperately wants to be where his fingers are, feeling her hot wetness gripping him and letting himself fall inside of her while kissing her, choking her, whispering in her ear that she's so good for him.

Spencer drags his tongue between her folds, licking her juices with a low hum before pulling away and brushing his mouth with the back of his hand. The bottom of his face is completely drenched in her wetness but it's fucking hot. He didn't know she could get so wet.

He really loves giving oral sex.

If he knew she'd be so good, so delicious for him, he would've made the first move way earlier. Or maybe not, because he's a fucking idiot who couldn't see how attracted she was and still is to him. If she wasn't, she wouldn't be in his bed after two orgasms.

Right?

Spencer pulls himself up, hovering over her face. Y/N opens her eyes and runs a hand through his hair, leaning forward as he lowers his mouth to finally covers her again.

This time the kiss is nothing but full of lust, desire, passion. A love so strong, so powerful and so animalistic to the point where they both don't want to pull away. They have been waiting for this for long and it only took less than 15 minutes to get them where they needed to be.

Spencer on top of her, completely naked, with Y/N underneath him, completely naked.

Y/N wraps her arms around his neck, closing her legs behind his hip. He lays down on her hot body, moaning softly when her nipples press against his chest. His cock is pressing on her wetness and he's tempted to slide it inside of her, but he wants her to be the one to do it. He's worried she might have changed her mind after two orgasms.

“Spencer?”

He raises an eyebrow, interrupting their kiss. “Yes, princess?”

“Thank you.”

The young doctor brushes the tip of his nose against her cheek. “My pleasure.”

Y/N grabs his left hand and places it on her own throat. “But now you have to do something.”

He hums, pretending he doesn't know what she's talking about. “What?”

She bucks up her hip, biting his bottom lip when his cock slides between her folds. She's desperate to feel him inside of her, and yet he's not doing anything even though she can feel how hard and painful his erection must be. So? How is he able to keep all that control? Isn't he some kind of robot?

“Spencer, please. - she begs him softly, using her free hand to touch him between his legs but he slaps her hand away, making her whine – Please, I need you inside of me.”

He leans in, pressing a soft kiss in the crook of her neck. “You are so needy. And greedy. A little too greedy, don't you think?”

She huffs, placing her free hand on his back. “No, I'm not “too greedy”. I feel bad because you haven't come yet, while I had two orgasms already. Let me make it up to you, please?”

Spencer slips his hand down her chest, caressing her breasts. “Get on your hands and knees, princess.”

He presses his forehead against hers as his breath against her skin does nothing to calm her down. She needs him more than she could ever admit it to herself, and yet he's taking his own sweet time to adore her, to watch her carefully and to make her crazy.

It's annoying.

But so fucking hot.

Y/N follows his orders, rolling her body as she lifts her bottom.

She feels Spencer slowly crawling between her legs, opening them to press his hip against her ass while he uses a hand to grab a fistful of her hair and pulls it hard. Y/N lets out a shriek, not expecting that gesture, but she doesn't mind. She loves having her hair pulled back, especially if Spencer is doing it.

“You look so hot like this, princess. - he whispers in her ear, leaning against her body with his chest pressed on her back – I wish I could have you like this all time.”

Y/N bites her own bottom lip, pushing her ass back. “If you promise you are going to touch me like you're doing right now, you'll have me anywhere you want. I swear to whatever is up in the sky.”

The young doctor grins, his mouth travelling down her spine while leaving kisses before going back to her neck and nipping at the skin. His teeth sinks in her soft skin, making the girl moan softly as Spencer's finally slips the tip of his cock between her wet lips.

Y/N almost collpases on the bed but Spencer is faster and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her to his body in order to keep her still. She lower her eyes for a second, noticing the veins in his arms; she quivers, closing her eyes as Spencer moves his hip forward and finally bottoms out. She inhale some air for a few second, trying to adjust quickly to the delicate stretch of her body for him, and lets out a low moan. Spencer keeps leaving soft kisses on her back, enjoying the hot wet grip around his cock without moving; he wants her to be as comfortable as she can, he would never ruin this experience for her.

“My fucking God.”

“Not God, but thank you anyway, I guess. - she smiles as he grins, relieved that she heard him; slowly, he raises his hand to meet her throat – You feel so good, princess.”

Y/N clenches around him, throwing her head back against his shoulder. Her throat is totally exposed and Spencer feels the need to grab it, softly pressing his fingers on her delicate skin that rapidly changes colour. Y/N opens her mouth, the loss of oxygen making her feel more dizzy but ecstatic.

“Yes, yes, please. Like this, yes.”

Y/N is already a mess and he hasn't even started pushing inside of her. He wasn't expecting her to enjoy choking this much, but he's glad she does. He practised it a lot in order to learn how to actually do it without hurting the other person.

“Can I move, princess?”

Y/N quickly nods, not able to form a complete sentence She's overwhelmed with pleasure: one hand on her throat, the other one through her hair, his mouth on her neck, his cock inside of her and her core already over-stimulated because of the previous two orgasms.

Can she handle a third one after 21 years of self-orgasms or it'll destroy her? Y/N wants to find out.

“You are so fucking tight, princess. - Spencer groans, beginning to thrust into her – And you're so fucking gorgeous, taking my cock like this. Perfect, so perfect for me.”

He's moving inside of her with a slow pace, but Y/N is still writhing under his touch. Her back arches into him, begging for more. And he obeys, tightening his hand around her throat while he pulls her hair and forces him to look at her through her eyelashes.

Then, he starts pouding into her.

And Y/N swears she just reached Heaven and saw God in the shape of Spencer.

It's actually crazy to feel this much pleasure in just one moment, but Y/N wouldn't trade that second for all the money in the whole world. If Spencer Reid could fuck her every single day, every single hour, she would sacrifice herself for it. She'd sell with her own soul for this.

“I've been waiting for so long for this, Spencer. - Y/N says, placing her right hand over his forearm while steadying himself against his body – God, you are so fucking good. Fuck me, fuck me.”

Spencer lets her hair go, forcing the girl to face down the mattress.

So she has waited for this moment for a long time, why don't make the most out of it then?

He slaps her ass with a hand, watching it bouncing against his hips. It's the most erotic view of his life.

“Next time you're going to let me use your body, you'll be on your knees.” he whispers

Y/N quickly nods, scratching his arm. “Can't fucking wait, sir.”

His pace becomes faster and harder. Every stroke is deep, making the girl whimper at each move as she hides her face into the pillow in front of her. Tears of pleasure are streaming down her face, Spencer hands are scratching, grabbing tightly and smacking her ass without mercy and she can't wait to see all the marks he has left her on her body.

She won't be able to sit down if he keeps hurting her like this.

That's exactly what she wants.

His hard grip on her body is contrasted by the softness of his voice. She wasn't expecting this dualism in Spencer, but she loves it and can't wait to experience more of this in her apartment, where they can try more fun things in bed.

“Fuck, Y/N.”

Her name rolls off his tongue like it's made for it.

“I'm almost there, Spencer. - she whispers, pressing her ass back to his hip – Please, fuck me more.”

He wraps his arms around her, moaning in her ear as he thrusts into her as fast as he can. This new rhythm helps him finding the perfect spot that makes Y/N scream louder and arch her back.

“Fuck! Right there, right there!”

Spencer doesn't slow down, wanting to make her come from the sex. He doesn't even need to touch her between her legs because before he can open his mouth, Y/N clenches tightly around him and finally comes, letting the orgasm wash all over her. Her arms give out and her whole body shakes with pleasure, her thighs almost closing and her muscles spasming around him.

“God, fucking Hell, Y/N.”

Y/N keeps whispering his name, trying to move her body against his to help him come. She wants to feel his orgasm, she wants his mouth pressed on her ear, she wants everything he can give her or she'll go crazy. She's already regretting not doing this earlier – she has to send something in order to thank Garcia, Morgan, JJ, Prentiss, Rossi and maybe Hotchner.

Spencer knows his orgasm is about to hit his body and it does right after. He growls against Y/N's right ear, filling her up with his warmth as his mouth nips at the skin of her neck. She scratches his forearm, releasing a little whimper as she feels his come dripping in and out of her as he keeps pushing his hips forward. That was probably the hottest sensation ever.

But.. Did he just come inside of her?

He did. And she'll allow him to do it again, for fuck's sake.

“Shit, Y/N. I am so sorry. - Doctor Reid whispers, pulling out of her body to admire the mess he made inside of her – I didn't even ask you if I could finish here.”

Y/N collapses on the bed, rolling her body over to face him. He looks really worried but she's not, because she's on the pill – so she can't get pregnant, thankfully.

She lifts a hand, caressing his arm as Spencer lays down by her side. She's still trying to catch her breath after what they just did, but he seems just fine – is he used to this? Is he really not that vanilla an inexperienced as Morgan kept saying? Y/N can't wait to find out.

“Don't worry, pretty boy. It's all fine, I would've made you finish inside of me anyway.” Y/N says

Spencer puts a hand over her cheek, forcing her to turn her face. She brushes the tip of her nose against his before kissing his lips once again. This time their kiss is slow, lazy, it's not filled with lust like the last one they've exchanged but they're both fine with that. Y/N doesn't want this night to end, she wants to keep kissing him until she consume his lips but she knows that she can't do that. And that this was probably just a one night stand.

She pulls away and lowers her head, lifting her body as he puts an arm around her waist. Y/N leans against his hard chest and closes her eyes, caressing his hot skin with the tip of her index fingers. She can't believe she just had sex with him, it's fucking crazy.

A comfortable silence washes over the room.

But Spencer breaks it.

“We should've done this earlier.”

Y/N opens her eyes, finding him staring at her. He looks so pretty: his hair are all messed up, his lips are of a dark red shade more swollen than before, his eyes are shining and there's a curious yet relaxed smile on that gorgeous mouth that was between her legs not much long ago.

“I agree. We really needed a little push from the others. - Y/N giggles, lifting her hand to caress his cheek with her eyes on his face – And I can't thank you enough for proving me that there's nothing wrong with my vagina and that my ex boyfriend was just a fucking dickhead.”

Spencer laughs loudly at her words, throwing his head back. “I can finally say it: Leonard was a fucking dickhead and I'm so glad I could make you come while that bastard didn't. I knew I was better than him in bed, at least.”

She laughs along with him, tapping her index on his cheek. “Yes, you are way better than him in bed. And in everything else, pretty much.”

He moves his eyes on her, leaving a kiss on her open lips.

Y/N lays back with her head on his chest and keeps brushing her fingers on his hot skin, travelling down towards his belly button but coming back up to touch his collarbones. She closes her eyes, relaxing her muscles and letting her body finally rest for a few hours before going back home. She doesn't know if Spencer wants her to spend the night there, but she knows she won't be able to actually dress up again and drive towards her house. She's too tired, too sore to even stand up.

Either way, Spencer is not saying anything so she'll stay there. And hopefully, he'll fall asleep before kicking her out or something. Also the blanket is quite comfortable, Spencer's body even more.

“The next time we do this, will you allow me to take you out to dinner first?”

Y/N widens her eyes. “Do you mean...”

Spencer pulls her closer to his body. “Yes, I'm asking you to go on a date with me.” She lifts her body up to look at him in the eyes.

He stares back at her with a soft smile on his bruised lips, his hand placed on her hip ever so gently. Y/N can't say no to him – well, she doesn't want to say no because she has been waiting a long time for this, but yeah.

The point is: Spencer is literally the most attractive man ever, he's smart, romantic, hot and he's fucking good at sex. He made her come!

He's the total package and she won't let anyone steal him from her.

“I thought you'd never ask, sweetcheeks. - Y/N answers with a smirk, giggling when he gives her the most beautiful smile – But next time it'll be my turn to pleasure you.”

Spencer crooks his fingers, asking silently to lean forward. “We'll do whatever you want. I'll be more than happy to spend the whole night kissing and hugging you, princess.”

Y/N closes their distance with another kiss before stepping down from the bed. She grabs her phone from her purse, unlocking her screen; she has to text her mother and ask her to come to her house a bit later.

Y/N doesn't like making other wait for nothing and since she's going to spend the night at Spencer's place, she doesn't know when she'll wake up and when she'll be back at home.

But before she can open her mother's chat on iMessage, Y/N notices a message from JJ.

“So? How did it go? Tell me everything!!”

Y/N replies with a simple winking emoji.

Who knew that night would end so well for both of them?

-------------------------------------

Okay, wow, this is what it looks like I guess? It’s my first ever one shot in english. My first language is italian so there are probably some mistakes in it. I would love to get some feedback, if you’ve enjoyed my little os.

Thank you so much for reading it.

Aurora x

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut imagine #spencer reid fluff imagine #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid smut one shot #spencer reid fluff one shot #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x female y/n #spencer reid x y/n imagine #doctor spencer reid #doctor spencer reid smut #doctor spencer reid fluff #doctor spencer reid smut imagine #doctor spencer reid fluff imagine

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lululawrence · 4 years ago

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Polyamory Fic Rec

I thought I’d made one already, but apparently I hadn’t. So, since @twopoppies had an anon looking for more, I figured I’d go ahead and make a rec list now. This is not exhaustive, but it’s a start!

Please remember to leave the authors kudos and nice comments to show appreciation for their work.

I Should've Known by @nikogda (Liam/Louis/Harry, 11k)

It started out with little things here and there. A light that needed replacing. The belt in the vacuum. Small things, and eventually they took advantage of it.

Louis decided they needed another, larger repair whilst talking with his alpha neighbour, Liam. Liam had said he would do it for Louis and his partner, Harry.

And, well, it sort of went a little off track from there. What was an innocent thing at first, was now the two omegas’ way of catching the sweet deep scent of their alpha neighbour one whom they both mutually crushed.

Or: the one where alpha Liam moves in next door to bonded omegas Louis and Harry. All three go on their own journeys but in the end find that maybe, in the end, it really was always each other.

And That Was That by @lightwoodsmagic (Zayn/Liam/Harry/Louis, 23k)

“Okay. When Zayn and I were working on the set yesterday, Liam dropped by and mentioned he had a date. I asked Zayn about it, and he said that they’re ah - poly?”

Harry blinked.

“Oh yeah, I knew that. Li mentioned it when we were playing tennis once.” He ran his hand through Louis’ hair, smiling softly when he nuzzled into the touch.

“Is that what’s making you act strange? Because it seems like something that works for them, and I —.”

“Zayn has feelings for me.” A deep breath, and then blue eyes locked on green. “He said he needs distance because he has to get over them.”

Harry hadn’t realised his hand had fallen from Louis’ face until his fingers were being tangled and gripped tightly.

Or, Zayn and Liam have been polyamorous for years, but Harry and Louis are monogamous. When Zayn meets Louis and starts to fall for him, it opens them all up for something they've never experienced before.

That Don't Define Who You Are by lululawrence (Nick/Harry/Louis, 7k)

“Shit,” Harry muttered, rushing towards the man. “Are you alright?”

The man clearly tried to muffle his scream. “No, I’m really not. I’m afraid you’ll need to call 999.”

When Harry reached the man, he saw the man’s leg had gotten caught by pieces of the bike that had come apart beneath him. Without thinking, Harry leaned down and lapped where the blood was flowing quickly until it slowed.

“I’m so sorry, I just didn’t want you to pass out whilst I was on the phone.”

“God, no, don’t apologise,” the man said. “My mum’s a licking omega, see. Quite soothing.”

Harry blushed. “Yeah. Let me see about an ambulance for you.”

Or the one where Harry is a licking omega with a broken bond who helps heal a fairly hapless beta with a folding bicycle. When Harry also meets the beta's alpha, things start to get... interesting.

Its Mutual We (All) Discussed It by @nikogda (Zayn/Harry/Louis, 29k)

“Well you go to the agency, Alpha Donor Services and fill some forms out, whoever is doing the deed gets tested and such. And then they match you based on the papers with a few Alphas. You read the information on them and pick a few, they make sure they’re still willing and tell them about you. Eventually you guys will meet in public, do that a few times until you’re comfortable.” Niall scratched his arm lightly, and glances over at Harry, “The point of the service is to help a family, mostly an omega one, who can’t have children of their own. An Alpha will help an Omega get pregnant.”

“I feel like this is a lot.” Harry mumbles, setting his mug down.

“It is. Or well it was but it was worth it, H. I mean, I would do this again. We already talked about it.”

“Really?”

Or: Two omegas in a committed relationship are ready to start a family. In the process, their alpha donor becomes part of the family too. Every part of their relationship may be unconventional but all of them have never been happier

old haunts are for forgotten ghosts by fortymaliks (Nick/Harry/Louis, 8k)

“It’s the three of us, now,” Harry says, finally.

Louis blinks.

“Like,” Harry rushes to clarify, “you, and me, and Nick.”

Louis wakes up with amnesia, and learns that he's missing two whole years of his life. Two whole years, and some interesting developments...

Orion's Belt by @londonfoginacup (Nick/Harry/Louis, 24k)

Louis and Nick have been in a happy committed relationship for two years, their matching soulmarks on display for the world to see. It’s been them against the world, the alpha/beta singer and radio DJ power duo.

All that changes on February 1st, when they wake up to a third matching soulmark.

As they say, the course of true love never did run smooth.

You're a Rabbit, Louis Series by @magicalrocketships (Nick/Harry/Louis, 16k)

"Maybe Louis turned into a rabbit," Nick suggests. They both laugh. Louis doesn't. Harry is an idiot and Nick is an even bigger one.

Louis stomps past both of them on four tiny, furry, baby rabbit paws, and into Nick's flat. "I hate you both," he says. He sits on the rug by the TV. "And you can stop following me around too," he says to Pig, who sits down next to him on the rug.

"But seriously," Harry says, from the door. "Where's Louis?"

Louis thumps his back leg on the floor. "I'm here, you idiot."

"I'm not really suggesting this could be true," Nick says carefully, "but are we sure he isn't a tiny baby rabbit?"

The "A" in "Normal" by Yesitstyles (Nick/Harry/Louis, 28k)

Louis eats chips, argues with his best friend Nick about the validity of various sexualities, and falls for a second crush. Harry tries to spell the word "normal".

Loving You's the Antidote by lululawrence (Nick/Harry/Louis, 11k)

Nick and Harry had never been an obvious match. When eighteen-year-old Harry, newly presented as an omega, came home freshly bonded to Nick, a man nine years his elder and a beta no less, Anne had been more than skeptical and Eileen had shared some harsh words of her own. That didn’t deter them, though, and their families soon realised there really was something special about the bondmates that allowed them to work together almost seamlessly.

It was only a few months later that Harry started getting sick.

Or the one where Harry and Nick have been able to keep Harry's disorder at bay over the course of their relationship, but when they move to London and away from their support system, they find themselves in desperate need of help.

Come Out and Play by @dinosaursmate (Combination of OT5 pairings, 30k)

“I have this… fantasy.” Louis smiled self-consciously. “Well, I- I’ve been thinking about it recently, you know?”

Harry smiled softly. “Say it, Lou.”

“I have this fantasy,” he repeated. “Of… all five of us.”

“All five of us,” Harry exclaimed. “Gosh.”

Louis buried his face into Harry’s armpit, and Harry giggled softly. --- Harry and Louis discover a new kink in their relationship, and it brings all the boys closer than they could have ever imagined.

Trinity's Fate by Anonymous (Nick/Harry/Louis, 43k)

When a person is sixteen years old, he or she finds out if they are a dom or a sub. Later when they turn eighteen, the name of their soulmate(s) appear somewhere on their body.

Louis Tomlinson, a sub, fears getting a dom more than anything.

When his eighteenth birthday approaches and the names Nicholas Grimshaw and Harry Styles, a well known dom couple who are DJs for BBC Radio 1, appear on his arms, Louis panics.

Let me be your good night by Conscious_ramblings (Nick/Greg/Harry/Louis, 8k)

The one where Harry and Louis are in love, they end up at a party with some friends, and end up discovering things about themselves, and their friends that could change everything.

The thing was, Harry and Louis weren’t poly. They’d never even played with others together, despite having talked about it quite a lot in the heat of arousal. When they had been at torture garden and antichrist they had flirted with the idea. Harry had even kissed a friend of theirs once to rile Louis up, which had lead to a great session on the Saint Andrew’s cross. Louis loved to watch Harry flirt, loved the way jealousy turned him on and riled him up, loved how pliant and submissive Harry could be when Louis claimed him after. But they definitely weren’t poly, and Louis wasn’t quite sure what that meant for this evening. Everyone else attending the party was, and Louis’ green-eyed-monster had been feeding off that fact for most of the bus ride here. Now he was confronted by a really hot man playing with his boyfriend’s hair like it was no big deal, and he didn’t know quite what to do.

Perfect Sky by @polkadotlou (Nick/Harry/Louis, 40k)

Sub pairs are a rare thing, not only because of the jealousy that can brew between submissives if a Dom isn't attentive to each.

A sub pair has to be balanced.

Harry and Louis have always fit each other without trying. With them, it's easy.

But sub pairs can't just go out in the world and live on their own.

Alternatively, Louis always knew that a Dom was going to come into his and Harry’s lives – he only wishes Nick picked him too.

The Only Thing That Keeps Me Grounded by lululawrence (Nick/Harry/Louis, 28k)

“Shit, I definitely missed the last train.”

“Oh no,” Louis lamented. “I’d offer a ride, but I’m part of a carpool and we’re full already. I’m so sorry.”

“Really, it’s fine.” Then, what Louis said sank in. “Wait, I thought you were here alone?”

“Oh, I am. I’m the only one dancing here tonight. The others were working. In fact, here’s Nick now.”

It felt like slow motion as a tall, lanky man with incredible hair came walking over towards Louis. He smiled before pulling Louis into him and giving him a quick kiss.

“Nick, this is my new friend Harry. He just moved to the area and he’s amazing at swing. Harry, this is my husband, Nick.”

Fuck.

Or the one where Harry moves to Washington DC to be a nanny and never expects that his past struggles with love will be brought to a head. He definitely never expects the solution to it all will be the man of his dreams that just so happens to be married to the other man of his dreams.

Tell Me It’s The Strongest Shape by @louandhazaf (Nick/Elgar/Louis, 73k)

Nick and Elgar have it all. They’re famous, successful, and engaged to be married—and sometimes they play with others.

When uni student Louis gets street cast by Elgar for a GQ photoshoot, he's drawn into Nick and Elgar’s complicated relationship.

They've always invited mates into their bed. It doesn’t ever mean anything. Until… it does.

it hurts, but it's worth it by words_unravel (Liam/Harry/Louis, 14k)

Liam finds the shots of the three of them, rolling around and laughing, a week or so later during a late night. After a moment's pause, she saves one of the photos, giving it some inane, boring name. She shuts down her computer after that and goes to bed.

It takes a long time before she falls asleep.

#mine #poly fic rec #my fic rec #fic rec #i love poly fics so much #i thought i had made one of these already????#i was surprised to find i hadn't #so anyway #this is a good start

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4stars-uswnt · 4 years ago

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Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes [Tierna Davidson x Reader]

requested by anon: Idk if you’re taking requests or not but could you do a tierna x reader where reader’s kinda reserved and the team doesn’t know her super well but her and baby t just bond together and one gets the courage to ask the other out. And maybe they like hide their relationship just to mess with the team or something cause they were trying to set them up. If not then it’s perfectly fine. You’re a great writer!!

A/N: thanks anon! i honestly don’t know how this got so long... oops

You hesitantly make your way down the aisle of the bus, unsure where to seat, given that this was only your fourth camp and you didn’t necessarily have a designated seat.

Spotting an empty spot next to Tierna, you sheepishly ask, “Hey, is anyone sitting here?”

“Nope,” she gives you a kind smile, glancing up from her phone. “Go ahead.”

“Thanks,” you mumble, a small smile of your own tugging at your lips.

As you’re putting in your ear buds and turning on your music, Tierna curiously watches you. “So how you liking the team so far?”

“I love it. It’s honestly better than I could’ve imagined. Everyone here is so nice and welcoming and so willing to teach,” you ramble slightly nervously, scratching the back of your neck.

Ever since you’d gotten your first call up last year, your nerves hadn’t calmed down at all. You were a naturally reserved and quiet person, but being around the best players in the world only intensified your nervousness.

Given your shyness, none of your teammates knew that much about you. The only one who knew anything about, apart from your position, your hometown, and where you currently reside, was Alyssa. The veteran goalkeeper had taken you under her wing when you went pro at just nineteen and joined the Red Stars. The two of you immediately bonded, forming a sort of big sister-little sister relationship, as you were both so similar in the way you carried yourself on and off the field. So when you got your first national team call up, Alyssa was the one to show you the ropes and help you make the transition.

And although you played on the same NWSL team as Tierna, you’d never actually had a real conversation with the other woman, so neither of you knew each other at all.

“Yeah, it’s an incredible environment,” the defender agrees. “It really does become like one giant family.”

“Hopefully, I’ll stick around long enough to become a part of that.” You anxiously chew your lip. Being on the national team has been a dream of yours ever since you could remember, and now that you are presented with the opportunity, you were scared you were gonna do something to mess it up.

“I have a feeling you will,” Tierna muses, smirking. You can’t tell if she’s flirting with you or if she’s just being nice, but either way your face flushed red.

The three hour bus ride went by seemingly quick, as you and Tierna engaged in an easy flowing conversation, talking about topics ranging from the basic introductions to the incredible cinematography of The Queen’s Gambit.

You find yourself becoming increasingly comfortable and relaxed around the other woman, and you feel this is the start of a wonderful friendship.

—————

After a quick team meeting upon arriving to the hotel, Vlatko starts to announce roommates and distribute room keys.

“Tierna and (Y/N),” he calls out, giving Tierna two key cards.

“Looks like we’re roomies,” she beams, as she hands your key.

“Looks like it.” You grin, excited at the idea of spending more time with the defender.

Both of you were pretty tired, especially after a long day of traveling, so you each quickly jump in the shower and change into your pajamas.

As you slide into bed, Tierna, already under the covers, grabs the TV remote. “Anything you wanna watch?”

“I’m fine with anything.” You shrug, as you pull the blankets over your body. “Have you seen the docuseries on Netflix about the Challenger?” You ask, remembering her passion for space and aeronautics.

“I haven’t,” Tierna gasps. “Can we watch it?”

Your heart warms at the sight of her pure eagerness. “Of course! I’ve been meaning to watch it for a while too.”

You quickly set up your laptop, connecting it so that your screen projects onto the TV.

As the episode progresses, Tierna spits out additional facts about the Challenger as well as NASA itself, and you can’t help but listen in awe and admiration.

The two of you barely make it through two episodes, as the hours of travel catch up to you and sleep takes over.

—————

It was the last day of camp, and you and Tierna had grown quite close, bonding over being the youngest on the teams as well as your similar interests.

You’d discovered that, when not playing soccer of course, you both enjoyed going on hikes, reading with a cup of coffee, and also relaxing at the end of the day with a good TV series.

She’d also given you some insight on how she adjusted to being on the national team at such a young age, something you were having trouble doing. It’s not that your skill level wasn’t up to par; you were just finding it difficult to put yourself out there and connect with the rest of the women. And just maybe your newfound friendship with Tierna would be just what you needed to open up to the rest of the team.

Over the past couple of days, as you’d gotten to know the defender, you couldn’t develop feelings for the other woman.

So here you were, packing up your hotel room, as you worked up the courage to ask Tierna out. At the moment, the freckled woman was currently rambling about some new book she’d found, but you were to stuck in your own head to really pay attention.

“(Y/N)?” Tierna pulls you out of your thoughts.

“Huh?” You shake your head, turning to see an amused smile on Tierna’s face.

“Did you hear anything I was just saying?”

“Umm, yes?” You try sheepishly.

Tierna rolls her eyes. “Yeah, right. It’s alright. You can make it up to me by reading the book I was talking about. And by the way it’s about a depressed neuroscientist at Stanford.”

“Sounds peachy,” you groan, earning a chuckle from the defender.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Nothing,” you mumble, shrugging.

“Come on, what’s bothering you?” She asks, as she sits down next to you, lightly elbowing your side.

You take a deep breath, gathering all the courage in the world, before asking, “Would you maybe wanna go out sometime? Like grab some coffee or dinner when we’re back in Chicago?”

Tierna stills, her eyes widening, as her brain tries to process your question. “What?”

“I’m asking you on a date, T,” you clarify, feeling a new wave of confidence take over. “Do you wanna go out with me?”

A gigantic grin breaks out Tierna’s face. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

—————

About six months later, you’d received another national team call up, and so had your girlfriend.

After last camp, you and Tierna went out to dinner at a restaurant back in Chicago, and from then on, you began dating. It helped that you both played for the Red Stars, getting to spend more time together and not having to worry about the trouble of a long distance relationship.

However, the two of you decided to keep your relationship under wraps, not feeling the need to announce or flaunt it. In fact, in public, your relationship didn’t really change, and to most people, it looked as if the two of you were just best friends.

But Alyssa had known you well enough to see that you definitely had a crush on the younger defender, and to be fair, you did, but the goalie didn’t know that you were already dating.

The Red Stars training before the national team players left for camp, Alyssa decided to see if anyone else shared the same suspicions.

“Hey, J!” she calls out, catching up to the blonde midfielder.

“What’s up, Lys?”

“Do you think there’s something between (Y/N/N) and Tierna?”

“What do you mean?” Julie furrows her brows, confused.

Alyssa gives her friend a pointed glare, nodding her head in the direction of where you were leaning your head on Tierna’s shoulder, giggling at something your girlfriend had said.

“Ah, I see,” Julie muses, nodding her head in realization. “Are they together?”

“Nope, at least I don’t think so. I’m sure (Y/N) would’ve mentioned something.”

“Well, should we help them get their head’s out of the butts and try and set them up?” The midfielder proposes.

“Camp is this weekend…” Alyssa smirks, as the two women share a knowing look.

“Kelley’s gonna have a field day with this,” Julie chuckles.

—————

After morning training the next day, the team split off into groups, as they head into town to grab a bite to eat, do some shopping, or just walk around the streets of Santa Barbara.

A group of the veterans decided to try out a cute little cafe they’d seen. As they were all sitting around the table, sipping their coffee and eating some pastries, Julie decided to bring up the subject of their two favorite team babies.

“So, have you guys noticed anything going on between (Y/N) and Tierna?”

Conversation stopped, the entire table going silent.

“Wha?” Kelley asks, her voice muffled by the food in her mouth. “(Y/N/N) and Baby T?”

“Kel, please swallow your food,” Christen requests, cringing at the defender.

“Sorry.” The freckled woman gulps down her bite of her croissant. “But Tierna and (Y/N)?”

“You don’t see it?” Alyssa raises her eyebrow, surprised that she might be the only one who saw the chemistry between you two.

“Aren’t they just best friends?” Tobin chimes in on the conversation.

“That’s what people always said about you and Chris until they got their heads out of their asses,” Ash snorts, pointing between the two forwards.

“Fair point.”

“Now that I think about it,” Christen hums. “They do act very couple-y.”

“And Tierna is really the only one that (Y/N) hangs out with, besides Alyssa,” Pinoe points out, as the others nod in agreement.

“True, though she is warming up to the rest of us,” Julie lightly argues.

“So do we have a plan?”

The rest of the table just stares blankly at Kelley, who rolls her eyes.

“A plan to get them together?” She clarifies, as if to say ‘duh.’

“Well, that’s what I thought we could discuss.” The blonde midfielder suggests, sparking the discussion of how to get the two youngsters together.

Meanwhile, as the veterans were scheming, you and your girlfriend were taking a walk along the beach, your hands laced together, as your bare feet sunk into the sand.

“I hear you might start in the match versus England,” Tierna smirks at the shy blush that creeps up your neck.

You duck your head and brush a loose strand of hair of your face. “I don’t know. Our midfield is already so stacked, so I don’t know why Vlatko would start me.”

“Hey.” Tierna stops walking, stepping in front of you, halting your movement as well. “Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a phenomenal player, one of our best middies, at only twenty-one years old I might add.”

“You have to say that.” You bashfully roll your eyes. “You’re my girlfriend.”

“That I am,” Tierna proudly states, as she kisses your cheek. “But seriously, (Y/N/N), you’re amazing and you’re here for a reason. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“Thank you, babe.” You lean in to give her a chaste kiss before bringing her in for a hug.

The two of you decide to walk back up to the sidewalk and sit on one of the benches that overlook the beach. After a couple of minutes of peaceful silence, you remember something Alyssa had mentioned to you a couple days ago.

“I think Lys might know we’re dating.” You raise your head from your girlfriend’s chest to look up at her.

“Hm,” Tierna hums, not looking concerned or fazed, only curious. “Did she something to you?”

“The other day she asked me if I had feelings for you.” You snuggle back into your girlfriend’s body, comforted by the fact that she didn’t seem to be freaking out about the possibility of one of your teammates knowing. “Well actually, her exact words were: ‘Do you have a crush on Tierna?’”

“And what did you say?”

“I said ‘yes,’” you mumble, your cheeks tint pink.

“What was that?” Tierna teases.

“I told her ‘yes’ I have a crush on you.”

“Aw, babe,” she coos, tapping your nose. “I have a crush on you too.”

All you can do is scrunch your face and stick out your tongue at your girlfriend and her antics.

“Do you think we should tell the team we’re dating?”

“Words probably gotten around that you have feelings for me, and seeing how we’re ‘best friends,’ knowing them, they’re already probably devising a plan to get us together.” Tierna shrugs, lightly chuckling.

Though you hadn’t been on the team as long as the defender, you knew she was most likely right.

“Well, who are we to stop their fun?” You say with a small smirk on your face.

Your girlfriend raises her eyebrow at you, surprised by your uncharacteristic boldness and mischievousness.

“Whatever you say, babe.” Tierna softly kisses the top of your head.

The two of you spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other’s presence, the calm waves crashing in the background, before you have to return to the hotel for team dinner.

—————

As you and your girlfriend were off on a brief romantic walk, the rest of the team, who had been recruited by the Kelley, had been finalizing their plan to set you and Tierna up on a date, so you can confess your feelings.

“So,” Kelley, the leader of this operation, announces. “Tomorrow, when we have dinner off, Alyssa, you’ll ask (Y/N) if she wants to grab a bite to eat, and Casey and Abby, and whichever youngsters wanna tag along, will bring Tierna out to dinner.

“The rest of us will grab a table in the backroom so we can see them without being seen. Everybody got it?”

They all nod along, voicing their agreement.

“Awesome,” Ash cheers and claps her hand together. “What do you think Lys?”

“I think it’s good, hopefully it works.” Alyssa nods, quickly glancing at her phone. “I also think we better head back for dinner before Vlatko sends out a search party.”

The rest of the women check the time, their eyes widening, as they all scramble out of their seats, rushing to make it back in time for team dinner.

—————

The next day, at the end of training, many of your teammates, mainly Kelley and Sonnett, were anxious about their upcoming blind date they’d set up for you and Tierna.

“Gosh, I don’t know how I didn’t see it before,” Kelley groans dramatically, watching from across the field, as you and your girlfriend were leaning on each other, laughing at something you’d said.

“How can they be so oblivious?” Tobin shakes her head, following her friend’s gaze.

“That’s rich coming from you,” Megan snorts, as she approaches the two women.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Chris had heart eyes for you for like three years before you actually noticed.”

“That’s different,” Tobin protests, earning a laugh from her two teammates.

“It’s really not.” Kelley clasps the forward’s shoulder, giving her a sympathetic smile.

“But we’ve learned.” Pinoe boasts with a pointed look.

Tobin just tilts her head and furrows her head in confusion, not following along.

“Oh, Toby.” The freckled defender slings her arm around Tobin’s shoulder, as they make their way back to the bus. “After being tortured by you and Press’s oblivious pining for many many years, the team collectively decided that when two teammates develop obvious feelings for each other, we’d put our own dignities aside and get them together.”

“Hence, our dinner plans for Tierna and (Y/N),” Megan finishes.

“You guys are all crazy,” Tobin says with a light-hearted roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, but you love us,” Kelley chirps before skipping off to catch up with Alex on the bus, leaving the two forwards chuckling at their teammates playful behavior.

—————

After hopping out of the shower and getting dressed, you decide to text Tierna to see if she wants to grab some dinner.

(Y/N/N):

Hey, you wanna grab some dinner?

I think I saw a taqueria that looked good :)

T 🤍 :

Sorry, babe :/

Casey already asked me to get dinner with Abby and Sam.

(Y/N/N):

Aw man, okay.

Stop by after?

T 🤍 :

Of course

I’ll see you later :)

You give the message a heart, before shutting off your phone. As you contemplate what you’re gonna do for lunch, there’s a knock on your door.

“(Y/N/N),” you hear Alyssa’s muffled voice. “It’s Alyssa.”

“Come in!” You call back.

The goalie saunters into your room and plops on your bed. “You wanna grab some dinner?”

“Yeah,” you beam. “I saw a Mexican place downtown that looked good.”

“Hmmm, I had tacos for dinner last night,” Alyssa hums, pretending to think it over, even though she already has a restaurant in mind. “Tobin mentioned a good Japanese place they ate yesterday. We could try that?”

“I could go for Japanese,” you agree. “You wanna head out now?”

“Yeah, I’m down.” Alyssa jumps up from the bed, as you gather your things, following her out the door.

The two of you make light conversation, as you walk through the streets of Santa Barbara, enjoying the warm evening air.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, the hostess leads you to a table by the window, but as you sit down, Alyssa remains standing.

“I just have to run to the bathroom real quick,” she tells you. “If they come by to order drinks, could I get a lemonade?”

“Of course.” You nod, before scanning the menu.

While you think Alyssa is going to the restroom, she is actually going to text Casey that you’re sitting at the table near the window.

After a couple minutes, you hear footsteps approaching, which you think is the waitress coming to take your drink order.

“Hey, funny seeing you here.”

You immediately snap your head up when you hear your girlfriend’s voice.

“T, what are you doing here?” You ask, obviously quite surprised, as Tierna sits down in the chair across from you.

“Well, I was supposed to meet the girls here, and they just they’d be at the table by the window,” she chuckles amusedly. “Obviously our teammates are setting us up, not that I’m complaining.”

You roll your eyes at the teasing smirk on your girlfriend’s face. “Yeah, Lys brought me here for lunch. I didn’t think it was in her to be a part of their little matchmaking plans.”

“Alyssa is full of surprises.” Tierna shrugs, as she picks up the menu to look at it for herself.

“Aint’ that the truth,” you laugh.

As the two of you sit in a comfortable silence, deciding what you wanted to eat, you spot a familiar head of purple hair out of the corner of your eye.

“I think we’re being spied on,” you whisper, leaning forward in your seat.

“Huh?”

“Pinoe’s pink hair is a dead give away,” you slightly nod your head towards the back room of the restaurant.

Tierna turns her head to subtly scan the room, and then lets out an amused chuckle. “So how are we gonna play this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, since they’re watching us, do we wanna play into their hands or should we mess with them a little?”

“We could do a little bit of both?” You propose, earning an impressed grin from your girlfriend.

Before Tierna can respond, the waitress comes by to take your orders.

—————

“What can you see?” Sonnett shouts from the other end of the table.

“Keep it down, Sonny,” Kelley scolds, swatting the younger defender’s arm. “But, P, seriously, what’s going on?”

“They’re just talking, laughing occasionally,” Pinoe reports, as she cranes her neck to see the table in the other room. “From what I can see, no sparks are flying yet.”

“Gosh, this is painful. We need to move them along,” Kelley whines, before her eyes widen and her eyes light up, a mischievous smirk playing on her lips. “I have an idea.”

“Oh no,” Christen groans. “This should be good.”

The freckled defender just waves her hand, ignoring her friend’s comment. “Just you wait and see. This is gonna work.”

The team has to wait a couple more minutes until the waitress comes back to refill their waters for Kelley’s plan to unfold.

“Excuse me,” Kelley calls over to the waiter, briefly glancing at her name tag. “Virginia, could I order some dessert?”

“Of course.”

“I’d like to get one slice of your cheesecake, please. And if I could ask for a favor?”

The waitress nods with a polite smile.

“Would you deliver it to my two friends over there sitting by the window?”

“Aren’t those your teammates?” Virginia turns to see where Kelley’s pointing.

“Yeah, we’re trying to set them up. So if you could just say it’s on the house or something, we don’t really want them to know we’re here.”

The waitress just chuckles, as she shuts her notepad. “Of course.”

“Oh, wait,” Kelley stops her one more time. “If you’re cool with it, maybe you could flirt with one of them, maybe say the cheesecake is from you?”

Virginia pauses for a second to contemplate her options, before ultimately agreeing. “Fine, but only if I can get your friend’s number over there.” She smirks and points over to where Emily’s sitting, sipping on a glass of wine.

“Deal, but only if my friends over there get together by the end of the night.”

Virginia just smirks, as she leaves to continue her job and get a slice of cheesecake.

—————

You and Tierna took advantage of the date your teammates had set up for you, enjoying some delicious rolls and a bowl of udon. Even though your teammates were technically in the backroom watching, you and your girlfriend enjoyed a nice evening to yourselves.

As you’re finishing up your meal, the waitress comes over with a slice of cheesecake and places it down in front of you.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You move to return the dessert. “I didn’t order any dessert.”

“I know, cutie,” Virginia flirts. “That’s from me, on the house.”

“I- I, um.” You blush, flustered, while Tierna shoots silent daggers at the waitress. “I’m flattered, but I actually have a girlfriend.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” the waitress apologizes, glancing between the two of you. “Is this your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, I am,” Tierna answers, hints of jealousy lacing her voice, as you give a sheepish nod.

“Ah I see,” Virginia observes, amused, knowing that the other group of soccer players were going to be quite shocked. “Well, I’m sorry, again, for hitting on you. Keep the dessert as an apology?”

“Everything’s forgotten,” you amend with a kind smile. “Thank you for the cheesecake.”

As the waitress turns to leave, she suggests, “Maybe you guys can share? I’m trying to win a bet.”

Before you or Tierna can respond, Virginia gives both of you a knowing smirk, as she takes your plates and goes back to the kitchen.

“What does that mean?” You tilt your head and push the plate of cheesecake towards the middle of the table.

“I assume that our teammates probably had something to do with that whole scene,” Tierna guesses, shrugging, as she takes a bite of the dessert. “Mmmmm, but thank goodness they did because this cheesecake is delicious.”

“Oooooo, let me try!”

As you and your girlfriend share the slice of fluffy cheesecake, your teammates were waiting for something to happen.

“Anything?” Alyssa asks impatiently. The goalie had been becoming increasingly agitated, because she had seriously thought there was something between you two.

“Not yet,” Kelley sighs. By now, the rest of the team had lost interest and decided to just enjoy their night out.

“Oh wait!” Pinoe gasps, holding her hand up to get everybody else’s attention. The pink-haired forward watched intensely, as you leaned in closely to Tierna, who was holding out her fork with a bite of cheesecake for you.

“Baby T just fed (Y/N/N) a bite of cheesecake. I repeat, Baby T just fed (Y/N/N) a bite of cheesecake!” Megan exclaims. “It was the last slice, too!"

“And they are totally giving each other heart eyes right now,” Kelley adds, excitedly bouncing in her seat.

After a few minutes, as the team bubbles with anticipation to see what would happen next, Virginia returns to the table with the checks and hands it to Kelley.

“By the way, you owe me your friend’s number.”

“Um, I don’t think so. We don’t know for sure that they ended up together,” Kelley protests, as she passes the checks down the table.

“Yeah, we do, because they’re already together,” Virginia boasts and moves to collect the empty plates, smirking when she sees you and Tierna holding hands, as you make your way over to the team’s table.

“What? No, they’re not.” The defender frowns, not noticing her two youngest teammates.

“Yes, we are,” Tierna simply states, leading you out the backdoor, as you duck your head to hide your flushed cheeks.

“And, thanks for the cheesecake,” your girlfriend throws over her shoulder, leaving your teammates sputtering in shock with wide eyes and gaping mouths.

“Well, that was fun,” you snicker, as you step outside.

“Yeah, it was,” Tierna agrees, kissing you cheek. “Now let’s go have some fun of our own.”

Laughing freely, you relax into your girlfriend’s side. You couldn’t help but feel lighter, like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders, now that the team knew about your relationship, and maybe this is the push you needed to open up to the women who would soon become your second family.

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #tierna davidson x reader #tierna davidson imagine #tierna davidson imagines #uswnt #tierna davidson

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bonny-kookoo · 4 years ago

Text

Carrots and Whiskers (JJK x Reader) 💜🔞🐾

🥕 Pairing: Rabbit!Jungkook x Wolf!Reader

🥕 Genre: Hybrid AU, fluff, smut because why not amirite-

🥕 Warnings: stereotyping, mild mentions of past bullying, fluff, oh god they’re so cute, Dom!Jungkook despite being technically food for Sub!Reader, Dirty talk, it’s sweet though he ain’t calling his baby a hoe don’t worry, unprotected sex because in this hybrid universe they’re unable to conceive due to their different species, please keep that in mind thank you, sweet sweet lovemaking, aftercare, buff boi JK, Big dick JK but what’s new I guess, yeah I’m done now

🥕 Summary: He’s the prey and she’s the predator. So why does she feel like the roles are reversed?

This is a oneshot! If you have any ideas for future content in this universe, feel free to send in asks or requests!

A reputation could easily define your entire life it it was bad enough.

Both sides knew this; Jeon Jungkook, being depicted as the cowardly prey hybrid he was, and Y/N, the bad bad wolf with always malicious intentions. However, none of these depictions were actually true.

Jeon Jungkook was an actually pretty rough and brave young man, never really backing down from a challenge, uncaring on who was in front of him. He got into trouble often as a kid, as a teenager, and now as a young adult.

Y/N was soft spoken, a caring yet quiet hybrid who liked to stay hidden, the spotlight being more of a fear than a goal for her. She loved the simple things in life, liked to be by herself or surrounded by people she trusted and loved.

And she also got a major crush on the bunny in her art and music class.

It was quite cliche really, yet it also wasn't- it was as if she was stuck in a bad joke, never to make it to the punchline. She knew for a fact that he probably didn't even knew who she was, and the worst part about it was that she couldn't even blame him. She loved to not be seen, after all.

"Uhm, excuse me?" Said the voice, forcefully hitting her as she looked up, her own eyes meeting the big brown orbs of-

wait.

"I eh, we're supposed to choose partners for this project, and I know for a fact that you can draw so eh, wanna be partners?" He asked, and she simply stared. Was he- talking to her? "I mean, Its okay if you don't want to-" He started, the squirrel hybrid girl behind him already perking up at her chance, making her swallow a bit.

"N-no, I uhm.. I'd like that." She squeezed out, voice quiet, but he thankfully still heard her. He smiled, brightly and so awfully cliche as his bunny-like teeth showed, sitting down next to her as he pulled out his sketches. "So uh, what did you have in mind.?" She quietly asked, and he talked away, as if he'd always known her.

"Well since we weren't given much other than the theme and colors, I made some small sketches. You know, I get Ideas that are pretty neat sometimes but then I forget them easily, so I have to draw or write them down right away, otherwise I'll wanna bite my own ass later on." He rambled on, gently moving the rough sketches towards her, his eyes watching her as she looked at them, carefully studying his lines.

"This- this one would fit, I think.." She mumbled, tapping on one of his more detailed drawings. He grinned again, nodding, seemingly in agreement. He attempted to say something as the bell rang, students around them both scrambling up to get out as soon as possible, either to catch a bus or to drive home on their bikes.

"Hey do you-" He stumbled, his foot catching on a stray chair as he almost fell. "Do you wanna meet up on the weekend? That way we can finish faster, you know, time to sleep in class." He said, and she simply nodded, until he held his hand out. Her head tilted to the side, ears flopping a bit as he chuckled, mumbling. "cute. Your phone, so I can give you my number?" He explained, and she blushed, stepping back a bit as she placed her bag down on the table next to her, pulling out her phone, charms on the device dangling, making him smile. She really was adorable. "Alright." He said as he took it after she'd opened the phone app, his fingers typing away, before he gave it back to her. "Do you take the bus home?" He asked, and she nodded. "Oh really? I thought the pink bike outside was yours actually." He chatted away as she walked next to him, now a bit shy.

"I actually.. well, I can't, you know, ride a bike, so.." She mumbled, and he laughed for a moment, until he went quiet, sensing that she was serious.

"I eh, I could you know, teach you, if you want?" He asked as he unlocked his own bike. "I mean, not now but like, this weekend?" He asked, and she looked a bit hesitant. "I mean, you don't have to. But I promise I won't let you get hurt." It seemed odd maybe, for a prey hybrid to say that to a predator, but for her, it seemed like the most cheesy and romantic thing she'd ever heard. So she smiled, and nodded. "I uhm.. I think your bus left-" He pointed out, making her ears droop as she watched the vehicle drive off without her. "I can bring you home. It's kind of my fault you missed it, after all." He said, scratching the back of his neck as he suddenly rumbled in his backpack, pulling out a zip hoodie, before folding it, and placing it on the bag of his bike. "My'lady." He offered, and she giggled, making his ears flinch in excitement.

She'd been unaware of him for long enough, and after a talk with his fellow friend Taehyung, he'd decided to finally act on his interest in her. Even though he did get some odd looks from his classmate Jimin, he didn't care about what she was- he cared more about who. Her drawings were always so detailed in a way that would show exactly what she'd though while creating each line, something he always found remarkable. She also had a talent for photography, a hobby he had for himself as well.

"Hold on tight okay?" He said, and she nodded, her arms moving around his waist, redness creeping onto her cheeks as she felt his toned body underneath his thin shirt and loose jean jacket. She held a bit tighter as he finally pushed the bike forward, paddling at a decent pace that made her hair flow a bit with the wind. She couldn't help but enjoy the moment; the way his smell calmed her, the scenery around her, and the fact that it seemed like everything was finally working out for her.

"I'm gonna let go now and you'll just-" He started, but she suddenly grew anxious, her wide eyes immediately finding his.

"no no don't let go I'm gonna fall-" She scrambled out, scared as he simply laughed, one hand on her back as he kept the other on the bike for now.

"I promised, didnt I?" He hummed into her ear, and she blushed at the gentle tone of his voice. He was everything she never thought a prey hybrid would be; he was cunning, brave, and confident in himself. He wasn't after attention at all, simply trying to live his life yet he pulled everyones gaze on himself wherever he went simply by nature. His ears seemed too soft to be legal in her opinion, black and white tuft of fur that was his tail seemingly completely out of place; the rest of his body was toned. It showed that he knew how to take care of himself, it underlined the way he held himself wherever he went.

He was the complete opposite of her it seemed.

She liked to hide in oversized clothing, hybrid features the only thing really giving away that she wasn't just a mouse in disguise.

To him however, it was an entirely different story.

She was so sweet, always trying to help, and always trying to not be a burden. She had so much talent, a unique way of seeing the world, and a gentle way of always looking out for others. It also didn't ease his crush on her that she was absolutely beautiful in his eyes; shorter in statue than him, surprisingly, but he was pretty tall for a rabbit hybrid, he had to admit. His mother had once told him about the different subspecies of wolves when she'd noticed his crush on the girl; her best friend having been a wolf hybrid as well when she'd still been in school. Apparently there were different subtypes for them; alphas, betas and omegas. He guessed that the girl on his bike was an omega, maybe, as it would explain all her characteristics.

"You're doing so great!" He said, bunny smile making her feel more confident as she noticed he only held her by her back; she was actually riding a bike. "See? You can do it!" He happily exclaimed as he helped her off, seat a bit high for her to get down herself. "Lets sit down there and exchange some sketches, yeah?" He offered, and she nodded with a smile, walking next to him as they both sat down on the grass, after Jungkook had put down a small blanket he'd taken with him. "Okay, hit me." He playfully shot her way, as she pulled out her sketchbook, simply sliding it towards him as he opened it, looking through the pages she'd opened for him. "Uah, these are great! I'd use a bit more color on these ones, but the rest is awesome!" He mumbled in thought as he proceeded to change the page, his eyes widening at a familiar pair of eyes, when two delicate hands held his wrist in place.

"Pl-Please uh, that's not for the project eh-" She stuttered, panic evident in her voice as her red face and tilted ears gave away her embarrassment. He simply stared for a moment, before his other hand simply loosened her grip on his wrist, freeing himself without much force. He slowly turned the page, revealing multiple rough sketches of..

Him.

It was him, not very detailed, but clearly visible. Small scenarios were drawn on the page, him staring out the open window of the classroom as he talked to friends, him at the sidelines of his basketball game as he'd taken a break, or him asleep on his desk during class. He studied the drawings, noticing how she'd not cared much about his clothing, or the background; even the desk or the window weren't really drawn very realistically, simply a fast sketch. What did stand out was.. well, his face. The way the sun reflected in his eyes, how his ears had been slightly damp from the slight rain outside, or the tiny things he would've never thought she'd notice about him, like the tiny beauty mark under his lower lip, the slight scar just above his cheek, or how the sides of his eyes crinkled when he laughed, nose scrunched up.

As he looked up she was looking down, hair hiding her eyes as her ears were flat against her skull, tail in her hands, which nervously fiddled with the fur. "I-" He started, before he began to open his own bag, ruffling around in it as his own ears lowered themselves while he tried to find something. "Hah!" He exclaimed in victory, hands sliding off the rubber band of his own folder which kept his messily organized sketches and finished works. He rummaged through them, before he started to lay some of them out in front of her, one by one. Slowly, her ears turned, attention on what he'd put down in front of her.

He always had a different way of drawing things, not really putting a lot of effort into the outlines or sketches themselves; but he had a way of coloring things, a unique style that made things feel almost alive. In every picture, he'd dedicated most of his effort to color the fur of her hybrid features almost perfectly- he also payed special attention to her postures in every picture. He never drew her eyes however- which she noticed. "I uhm.. I've never got the chance to see them up close, so I had a bit of trouble with them.." He explained. "I've noticed you pretty early when we shared our first classes together.. But I never really got around to talk to you. You and Namjoon-Hyung always seemed so close, I thought.." He revealed, scratching behind his own ear as he suddenly felt a bit bashful.

"You.. I mean, Joonie is a good friend but we uh.." She started, voice a bit low as she laughed a bit.

"I know, I know, he told me-" Jungkook answered, now chuckling. "Thats why I immediately took my chance when they'd announced the group project." He said. "It gave me a chance to you know, get to know you better. Get closer, you know?" He explained, and she nodded. "So uh.." He mumbled, before he smiled at her hopefully. "Wanna uh- get cake together today? Like a date?" He asked, and she nodded, making him suddenly jump up as he fist bumped the air, making a passerby elderly couple laugh. "Yes!"

"Carrot cake?" She asked, an almost teasing smile on her lips as he looked at her.

"What? Don't judge puppy!" He said, making her scoff scandalized.

"Hey, I'm a wolf, not a dog!" She explained as she stirred her milkshake with her pink straw before grabbing the spoon from her small metal plate.

"And I'm a rabbit, not a bunny. So guess we're even." He said, before his smile faded a bit, eyes stuck to the spoonful of whipped cream which made its way inside her mouth, tongue darting out to lick her lips clean before she noticed his gaze. He snapped out of it, suddenly the one growing a bit shy. "You uh.. wait, lemme just-" He mumbled, hand moving to wipe the corner of her mouth as he licked his finger clean himself, making her eyes widen before she mumbled a 'thanks' under her breath. He grinned.

"So uh-" He asked, pushing down his small cake fork to pick up a piece of cake, holding it out towards her. "open up?" He asked, and she hesitated a bit, before leaning forward a bit, lips parting. He placed the piece into her mouth, watching as she closed her lips, accepting his offering of food before she nodded her head approvingly. "See? Don't judge before you try!" He exclaimed, and she giggled at that.

He was right.

"I'm absolutely beat." He suddenly exclaimed, falling down onto the mattress laying on the ground in the corner of the new, unfurnished bedroom. The wolf hybrid sat down next to his sprawled out form, gently moving his blonde tipped hair away from his eyes. He'd dyed it months ago, his roots more than visible at this point, yet he'd simply decided to let it grow. "Come here~!" He playfully demanded, hands reaching out for her as he pulled her down with him, happily humming when she was laying on his chest. "Can you believe we're actually gonna live together from now on?" He asked, and she shook her head, moving around a bit so she straddled him, sat on his thighs as he suddenly watches her with hooded eyes, hands on her hips as his thumbs move in circles over the skin underneath her sweater- his sweater. "Hm.. I mean.." He offered, suddenly moving to sit up, changing position as she's now underneath him, his hair tickling her face slightly when he begins to kiss against her pulse. "I was about to ask if we should at least put up the bedframe, but having a mattress on the floor.." He started, hands wandering underneath the clothing of his she wore as he continued in a low voice. "..means I can't break the bed this time." He said, and she giggled at that, remembering the time their time together had been roughly interrupted by the weak frame of his old bed breaking. "Oh, my puppy thinks that's funny?" He wonders, making her grin as he kissed her deeply.

Moments like these made her almost forget the stereotypes she'd grown up with during her live- since Jungkook was nothing like the typically depicted rabbit hybrids. Because right now the roles seemed completely reversed, as he mouthed at her neck, feeling her pulse race as he continued to map out her body with just his hands, no need to watch where they were, able to seemingly paint a picture of her by touch at this point. Clothes suddenly seemed to tight, itchy, as if bitten by a mosquito. She whined as he chuckled darkly, helping her out of his sweater as he immediately grabbed her breasts, kneading them before he continued to undress her, making quick work of her shorts as he pulled down her underwear as well- her already glistening center clinging to the damp fabric of her underwear as she squirmed, making him humm in appreciation. He pulled his own shirt over his head as well, revealing his body to her as the sun outside painted glowing stripes onto it, the blinds drawing patterns on her skin as well. He finally freed himself from the confines of his own underwear as well, standing proud and ready as she became restless.

"Hm, puppy wants to be filled up yeah?" He asked with a teasing undertone, proudly making use of the privilege to be able to call her that- since she hated it when others did it. It was the same the other way around however; typically, being called a 'bunny' was an absolute insult to him, but for some reason it seemed like a cute nickname coming from her. Maybe he was just whipped. Or maybe she was just privileged as well.

He entered her slowly as he sighed alongside her, not wasting any time as he fell into rhythm, hips thrusting forwards as her hands reached for his, intertwining their fingers as he felt his soul warm up at the gesture. He felt so loved, so cherished, it made him fear for his heart, as he swore it stopped every time he was close to her like this. He felt complete, like he'd found his soulmate, his other half- it didn't matter to him what she was. Sure, his parents were a bit dissapointed since they couldn't have kids naturally because of this, but they both could always adopt in the future. Thinking about it made his heart swell as he thought about her, caring for their kids, making this small apartment into a family home one day. Maybe it was instinct, but he'd already been driven nuts by the way she'd helped him choose furniture and wallpaper for the small living space they'd be sharing; the simple fact that she wanted to make their apartment into a home feeding his inner instincts to build a home to keep her safe in.

He felt her legs shake a bit as he shifted a bit, making her whine as he suddenly picked up his pace, sweat already slowly beginning to coat his skin as he didn't seem to notice how the sound of skin against skin still echoed in the almost empty room since it lacked furniture- but it didn't matter for now anyways. They'd both fill it with things and memories of the both of them, and he couldn't wait for it. He huffed a bit as he moved, leaning down a bit to rest his forehead against her neck as she bared it for him, a natural instinct of hers to submit to him even if he was of another species with no need of such gestures. He'd adapted to it however, gently biting the skin as he felt her shiver underneath him, a sign that she was getting close. "Hm my baby wanna cum?" He asked, gently beginning to tease her as she nodded, eyes closed in bliss. "You want a knot huh?" He asked, and she shook her head no, as he chuckled. He'd felt a bit insecure the first few times around as he knew how things worked for canine hybrids, worried that he maybe couldn't give her what she wanted or needed, yet she'd always reassured him. Now it was more like a teasing thing for him, and a way to tickle a praise out of her- a way of reminding himself that she loved him just as much as she did her. "No? You don't?" She shook her head again, her fingers holding his hands tighter. "What do you want then, huh?" He asked with a grin as she whined.

"You- you, only want ngh.. only need Kookie-!" She pressed out, and he hummed approvingly, his thrusts beginning to grow sloppy as he neared his end.

"That's right, only me, only mine, yeah?" He asked, and she nodded, suddenly opening mouth as her head buried itself into the mattress below her, clenching around him as he groaned out, burying himself deep inside her as he spilled. "Thats it, take it like a puppy- good girl!" He praised, making her whine as he leaned his body down, kissing her neck, her throat, and then her lips as they both calmed down from their highs, breathing slowly growing more and more even as he moved a bit to grab a box as he slid it towards him, rummaging through it before he took out a roll of kitchen towels, grabbing a few as he slipped out of her, carefully catching his release and her own juices as to not make a mess. He had a gentle smile on his face as he carefully cleaned her up before he stood, walking towards another box where he pulled out a large pillow and a few blankets, instincts taking over as he began to cover her now rapidly cooling body in soft fabrics before cuddling up next to her, pulling another blanket over his own form as he made sure his partner was comfortable. She slipped out of her makeshift blanket burrito to invite him in, making him grin his signature bunny smile as he held her close, skin on skin as he closed his eyes, the only light in the room the streetlamps outside.

This already felt like home.

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