#and a mother and aunt. and someone who was and is mentoring broken-hearted kids who can't see light in their life

[thebirdandhersong]

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[nikcosterwaldaus]

DON’T GO DOWN TO THE WOODS TODAY

you’re sure for a quick demise

the town of exile has always been full of strange goings on, a safe haven for all that is unexplained and unnerving, but no one quite believed that there were bodies buried beneath the earth until the summer of 1993. seven teens went on a camping trip to the woods and all hell broke loose.

what started as a simple prank between a couple of them, setting traps around the trees, bushes and stumps to scare the rest of their friends, led them straight to ezekiel sutton - a leader of a very unsavoury cult, called the church of the all seeing eye, from the next town over - burying a mangled body in the damp earth. the air seemed to still, the wind blow ice cold, and the two pranksters ran back to their hideout to tell their friends exactly what they’d seen.

the problem was, ezekiel followed them back too.

in the dark of the night, the seven teens were stalked through the woods, tripped up by idiotic pranks and traps set by their friends. ezekiel got to them, one by one, taking them down and trying to make it so none of them would see the light of day. but, through the power of team work, they managed to outwit the killer; string him up, tie him down, wait until dawn to get help and escape from this forest of madness.

it’s been 27 years since the incident and it affected each of the group deeply. still living with the trauma of not knowing if they’d see another morning, they went their separate ways, trying to forget about that night and get on with what life they could salvage. now, however, things are about to change; ezekiel sutton has been released from prison and the teens - now adults - are all brought back to exile on a lie: their friend, mike, is dead.

but, when they all turned up at the church in their mourning clothes to pay their respects, who came out to greet them but mike themself. it was all a rouse to get them back, here, to exile. they needed help. ezekiel sutton was put away for one murder, but mike is convinced they’ve committed countless more. the only way they can prove it is by finding the bodies, and they can’t do that alone.

the characters listed below are based on archetypes from the it movies (and book), as well as the until dawn video game. please bear in mind you don’t need to have watched, read or played any of these to be involved in the plot. while they’re based on the characters from these franchises, they’re not identical and do not have any of the same relationship plots; we don’t expect anyone to adhere to gender or ethnicity when creating them apart from mike who we will want to keep bipoc; however, it would be fantastic if the rest of the group was diverse (characters of colour, disabilities, gender and sexuality), though it’s not mandatory - just something to think about!

all of the characters will be between the ages of forty-four and forty-five, so please make sure you follow the site’s play-by rules when choosing someone for the group! the request will include themes of murder, horror, death and stalking (serial killer > the kids). we’ll be trigger warning everything within the plot, but if you’re sensitive to any of these themes, please let us know and we’ll do our best to help you feel safe.

please note: we are more than happy to discuss any of these blurbs and they are completely open, we just wanted to give you something to go off if you’re creating a character from scratch. if you have anyone else that you might want to bring to this plot, let myself or pomona know and we’d be happy to chat with you!!!

main characters

bev / mike → prickly, confident, aggressive, independent

with a bad home life and bullied at school, bev struggled to fit in; that was until they found the rest of the group. being an outcast didn’t seem so bad when they were friends with a bunch of other outcasts and they became somewhat protective over the others - not that they let any of the group know that. they stayed in exile for a while after the events, slowly watching their friends leave until they realised there was no point; there was nothing to fight anymore. everyone had gone. now they’re back, bev is wary. they don’t want things to go back to the way they were because, last time, everyone left. they’re keeping the others at arm’s length until they can really work out where everyone’s priorities lie.

reserved for: lana

ben / ashley → shy, sweet, lonely, intelligent

the softest and kindest member of the group, ben took the incident in the woods the hardest and has suffered greatly since. barely able to keep their life on track, they’ve hopped from one thing to the next, never quite able to settle down. it’s a shame, for someone with so much heart, that they’ve had it broken and damaged in so many ways; yet they never let themselves become jaded. needless to say, they’re trying to keep the group in exile to help mike find more bodies, not only feeling some semblance of loyalty to them (and the others), but finally feeling whole again after so many years of turmoil and strife. 

reserved for: mc

bill / sam → haunted, honest, reckless , brave

they always thought they were the leader of the group, but at the end of the day they were the first to leave town after the incident. their seat at the police station barely cold, they disappeared from exile almost a week after the group came out of the woods and no one ever saw them again. that is, until now. bill’s surprisingly straight and quiet about what’s happened in the intervening years - something about finding out who they really are and learning to forgive themself - but one thing’s for sure, they’re fitting back into that leadership role like no time’s passed at all. it’s just whether the rest of the group really wants them “in charge” after bailing out the first time around.

reserved for: pandora

eddie / emily → neurotic, loyal, obsessive, genuine

having lived a half shut-in, medically induced hell of a life as a kid along with their sibling, eddie was both ecstatic and terrified at the thought of moving away from exile. their mother made them believe (truly believe) they had a plethora of illnesses and it was only at the age of twenty-three, when their mother finally passed away, that they could go and leave the horrors of their childhood behind. they moved to another small town, settled down into a quiet little life and they were happy and dandy until mike’s letter came through. now, more than anything, even more than before, they want out of exile. but something is keeping them there, and they can’t quite pinpoint what. whatever it is, it’s fucking annoying.

played by: anais (miriam chomsky - rachel weisz)

mike / josh → intense, caring, introverted, observant

after the tragic, violent deaths of their parents, mike was raised under the stern but firm eye of their aunt and uncle. mike was something of an outcast at their school but in the summer of 1993, after a run in with the infamous bully henry, mike’s bond with the rest of the group was forged in the fires of joint misfithood. a grounding presence and the self appointed guardian of the group, mike was the one who remained in exile - literally and figuratively - to ensure that the influence of ezekiel sutton would be forever stamped out. yet, life rarely goes the way we want it to, and since the release of sutton, mike has been desperate to get the old crew back together to see sutton punished for the monster he truly is - desperate enough to even fake their own death.

reserved for: yenna

richie / chris → joker, insensitive, determined, brash

the nerdy clever clogs that forged themself a suit of armour out of terrible jokes and snide remarks, richie was desperate to cut loose of their past in exile and forge a new path in the bright lights of tinsel town. best buddies with stanley since their kindergarten days, but cementing themself in the ranks of the group with his corny humour, richie has always been happy to play the clown. yet, as with all clowns, the smile is little more than a mask, and beneath the mask and the armour is a soul wracked with guilt and self loathing. no amount of gallows humour will keep these old demons at bay, and richie is a hair’s breadth away from high tailing it back to beverly hills as fast as their porsche convertible can carry them.

played by: pomona (seth spector - joaquin phoenix)

stan / matt → weak, trusting, wise, sceptical

though stan has always been a key part of the group, they’ve never exactly felt like an integral part. they’re kind, generous and trustworthy, but always seem to be in the background. always seem to be the weakest link. not much has changed over the years. the initial pranks were stan’s idea and they’ve never let themself forget it, believing that if they hadn’t decided to trick everyone with stupid games, then they wouldn’t have all almost died. their bravery and strength haven’t improved and they still can’t quite find a foothole to grab onto. their life has been an undulating mess since they left exile and it doesn’t look like coming back’s going to make that any better.

reserved for: michelle

additional characters

henry / beth

a lost and twisted soul, henry was never destined for a life of bucolic bliss or carefree contentment. raised under the iron thumb of a domineering parent, henry vented their frustrations and rage upon their school peers with infernal ferocity. the infamous bully of their school, henry perhaps would have burnt themselves out with their own banal forms of sadism if it weren’t for ezekiel sutton. meeting sutton was like henry’s eureka moment, and while his connection to sutton’s foul deeds was never revealed back in the 1990s, it is henry who has been keeping the church of the all seeing eye alive and well. now with the return of their idol and mentor, henry is keen to prove themself as sutton’s most devoted follower.

pennywise / hannah

ezekiel sutton is a man of great importance. no one in exile knew who he was up until the events of summer, 1993; now everyone wishes they didn’t know his name. dubbed the executioner of exile, he’s been in prison for the past 27 years on one charge of murder. the police could never pinpoint the location of any of the other bodies he so clearly buried in the woods, and ezekiel never let on to having done anything but put the man he did bury out of his misery. the kids? well, he never meant to scare them. and you know how teenagers can be; so dramatic!

now he’s out on good behaviour and has no clue (yet) that the kids he never meant to scare at working to find his very real skeletons in his metaphorical closet and expose him for the serial killing ass he is. still, his old cult are welcoming him back with open arms, delighted he’s managed to maintain his innocence throughout his arduous trials.

ezekiel is a npc thus unplayable.

[diablosadvocate]

[Classified] Advanced Advocates Case File: DIABLO

BASICS

BIRTH NAME: Guillermo Gael Garcia.

NICKNAME(S): Gaelito. Devil.

DATE OF BIRTH: October 25th, 1983 (Scorpio).

AGE: 36.

GENDER: Cis Male.

PRONOUNS: He/him/his.

NATIONALITY: Salvadoran and Nicaraguan American.

HOMETOWN: East Los Angeles, California.

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Turnstone, USA. New York, New York.

OCCUPATION: Bartender. 

ORIGIN:

Guillermo hasn’t had the easiest life, it’s been one full of errors, mistakes that he’s had to live with or try to make better. He wasn’t the best at school, growing up, he was always too preoccupied with his home life, trying to take care of his family. His mother had died young, leaving behind a broken father with his two kids, Guillermo and his younger sister. Guillermo never had much of a childhood, always taking care of his sister, Leticia, and his father, trying to make extra money where their father faltered and making sure that his sister never went without.

Once he was high school age, he dropped out and lived life on the streets, making quick money however he could, usually conning unlucky people out of their money. This is what eventually led him to joining a low level gang, selling drugs and moving things for them. It offered him protection and enough money to keep his family afloat.

He kept it hidden from his sister and father, coming up with excuses for the amount of money he was bringing in. Something that he discovered in all of his illegal dealings was that he was actually superpowered, like the men he read about in story books, or the brujas his mother warned him about as a small boy, ones back in El Salvador who were as wicked as they were powerful.

He tried to keep his abilities hidden as much as possible but word spread, and he was eventually given the nickname Brujo. Things continued this way until the gang he was affiliated with was brought down in a sting operation and he was set to go to prison for his involvement.

Throughout the legal process, he was met with very powerful people, ones that were offering him a way out. A way that he could use his powers to their full extent, make money, and avoid time in prison. Guillermo, feeling he had no other choice, agreed to their terms. He joined a larger criminal organization, El Reino de las Sombras, which was the combination of a drug cartel and a gang of superpowered beings. He was a full fledged villain at that point, tasked with using his abilities to transport whatever they needed, usually drugs and or weapons, stealthily, and fighting off whatever superhero tried to derail their missions. It was during his time in this organization that his name changed from Brujo to Diablo.

Guillermo knew what side he was on, but he never felt that life had been particularly fair to him, and this was just what he had to do to survive. He never saw himself as capable of being a hero, or someone who could actually accomplish something good. He worked with El Reino for years until his father died suddenly of a heart attack. The death of his father was something that made him reflect on what he was doing with his life, ashamed of where he had ended up. Guillermo wanted to be someone his father could be proud of.

Leaving El Reino for the Advocates was an arduous process, he was met with intense threats against him and his family (or what was left of it), but he still made the switch. It hasn’t been easy, many people distrust him, and despite being there for a year, he’s still a protégé, but he doesn’t regret it. Guillermo is on a mission to prove that he can be more than just one of the bad guys, that he can actually make a change and do good.

APPEARANCE

HEIGHT: 6′0.

WEIGHT: 198 lbs.

BUILD: Muscular. 

ETHNICITY: Latino.

HAIR: Brown.

EYES: Hazel.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Tattoos on his body. A scar on his left eyebrow that cuts it in half. 

DISABILITIES: Mild anxiety. 

DRESS STYLE: Leather jackets, denim, flannels, button ups and well-fitted slacks if he’s feeling fancy. Gold chain, and a watch usually present.  

TATTOOS: A devil on his upper left arm, and an angel on the inside of his right forearm. His mother’s name right next to the angel. 

PIERCINGS: He had an eyebrow piercing once but he doesn’t anymore.

PERSONALITY/PSYCHOLOGY

INTROVERT or EXTROVERT: Ambivert.

INTELLIGENCE LEVEL: He’s a smart man, but it doesn’t come across at first glance. He’s much more street smart, and emotionally intelligent than he is book smart. 

MENTAL HEALTH: Mild anxiety disorder.

HABITS: Chews on his nails when he’s thinking or particularly nervous. 

MANNERISMS: Talks with his hands.

HEALTH: Pretty good health, he takes care of himself. 

MBTI TYPE: ENTP

POSITIVE ATTRIBUTES: Resourceful, Observant, Witty

NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTES: Anxious, Insecure, Temperamental

LIKES: Pupusas, gallopinto, Spanish ballads, salsa music, a stiff drink, and his motorcycle. 

DISLIKES: Disrespect, people looking down on him, disappointing his family. Being woken up too early. 

HOBBIES: Riding his motorcycle. Sketching. 

TALENTS / SKILLS: He’s an okay artist, he likes to sketch with pencils. It’s not a thing he really shows people. He can cook pretty well. 

FAMILY

PARENTS: Maria Elena Garcia. Emiliano Garcia. 

SIBLINGS: Emilia Luisa Garcia. (younger)

CHILDREN: None. 

MARITAL STATUS: Painfully Single.

SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): None. 

OTHER FAMILY: Aunts and uncles and cousins in El Salvador and Nicaragua that he sends money to once in a blue moon.

PETS: None.

SEXUALITY

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Gay.

DATING STATUS: Trying to date.

DOMINANT / SUBMISSIVE / SWITCH: Switch, dominant leaning.

TOP / BOTTOM / VERSATILE: Versatile. 

TURN-ONS: Neck kisses, nipple play, spanking, biting. Light bondage.

TURN-OFFS: Anything too physically dirty, or odors. 

SUPERHEROISM

ALIAS: Diablo.

POWERS / SKILLSET:

Illusion Manipulation:

Guillermo can create vivid illusions or hallucinations, that can alter what a person sees, hears, feels, smells, and tastes. He can tailor specific illusions, made to manipulate the person’s emotions. He can alter how others perceive him, which he does frequently. His illusions are stronger when aimed at one person specifically, those are the most dangerous, because all his energy is focused on one target. Larger scale illusions aimed at more people are weaker in comparison. His illusions have a fatal flaw, which once seen can snap someone out of the spell, the flaw is harder to find the more trapped in the scenario the target is.

Empathic Empowerment:

He is made stronger by the emotions of those around him, he can sense what others are feeling and use it to strengthen himself physically. The way Guillermo tends to use this is by trapping a target in an illusion and then causing them great fear, strengthening himself by absorbing that energy. Fear isn’t the only emotion that makes him stronger, but it is the most effective and potent. He cannot alter anyone’s emotions or change them at will. Absorbing more emotions makes him stronger, but not to the same level of someone who has super strength. The strength he achieves is more than a regular person but just under super strength.

COLORS: Deep purples, and reds.

APPEARANCE:

 Diablo’s costume is a dark purple, skintight bodysuit, with horns that resemble a demon’s. There is a mask that covers the upper half of his face, obscuring his eyes with a dark material that he can still see through. There are gloves on the bodysuit that allow him to fight and grip with greater ease. Usually, Diablo will create an illusion over his costume, something like red glowing eyes that can be seen through the material of his mask. 

WEAKNESSES:

Very large crowds: Being surrounded by a lot of people and emotions can strengthen Guillermo but it often is very overwhelming being around all that energy. It causes him headaches and he can have trouble focusing.

Fatal Illusion flaw: His illusions are powerful but there is always something that he overlooks, making it clear that it isn’t real. Once his target realizes that none of what he’s making them experience is real, they can start to break away from the illusion and focus on reality.

MENTOR / PROTEGE: Protege. 

LENGTH OF ADVOCATE MEMBERSHIP: About a year. 

SUPERVILLAIN ARCHNEMESIS: El Reino de las Sombras. Tigre [Super Agility & Razor Claws ]( former teammate in El Reino and secret ex-lover). 

[nodesiretogrowup]

That episode was ADORABLE!!! spoiler-y thoughts below:

It was cute seeing Team Magic together, even if it was only for a few seconds. I’m gonna pretend that they were fighting Launchpad’s wereduck ex.

Would really love to see a Dewey-Beakley episode now.

“I mean, this is very wrong, but it’s not this either.” Don’t be a hater, Scrooge. I’m surprised Huey hasn’t made himself a costume like Della has. More mother/son bonding in the future?

Goldie is a BOSS ASS BITCH and I LOVE HER.

Louie is already being adorable. I love my green son.

Louie has to stay on brand. He knows who he is.

Goldie is WORKING that necklace.

“Don’t let her get too close.” I wonder if that will come up in future episodes.

“HOW DID THIS GO SO WRONG SO QUICKLY?!” #youtried

“You gotta get close.” And theeeereeees the conflict of the episode.

“I’ll have you know I’m the evil triplet!” “Suuuure, you’re the scariest bunny in the pet shop.” I love their dynamic already.

I think there was some sincerity in Louie’s ploy. He does know feel like he’s not as good as the rest of his family.

“You know your cons.” I think you might be genuinely impressed there, Goldie.

“So you’ll teach me?!” The kid just wants a mentor he can relate to.

Poor Louie. The kid is legit TERRIFIED of Doofus. Was that invitation actually gold?

Della, you do need to sleep.

Of course Huey has a different version of epic. My sweet nerdy son. I wonder if Fenton plays this game too. It seems up his alley.

Love the art style of the game and cyborg Della.

Princess Username and the Heartthrob Goblin. I feel like Della had a crush on both of them. Though NOTHING can beat Princess Unattainabelle.

“The impractically giant weapons, the high stakes adventures!” I’m siding with Della on this one. Big weapons=Big fun

 “The whole village won’t have turnips this season” I highly doubt that is part of the game.

YAY LAZORS!

Doofus’ party looks pretty dope, not gonna lie.

My poor baby Louie. I love that he and Goldie’s outfits kind of clash. Louie is dressed to the 9s while Goldie is super casual. Possible foreshadowing of the two not being on the same page?

“Not full of hair.” WHY IS THIS CHILD LIKE THIS?!

I love that Goldie and Louie can just look at a pile of loot and know exactly how much it’s worth. Even Goldie looked impressed.

“Guhmeemama.” That’s...upsetting.

“Can’t wait to tell my therapist about it when I’m older.” HELP THIS POOR CHILD.

“No, that’s just being a bad party guest.” Lessons in etiquette from Goldie.

“Also I don’t know yet.” Honesty, I can respect that.

 Perfect widdle angel? Is Gideon around? (Two Gravity Fall references. I’m on a roll.)

SERIOUSLY, THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS KID?!

“Hellowen, Llewellyn.” BURN THE CHILD!

I like the Goldie saved Louie from falling in the pool. She’s already attached even if she won’t admit it.

“The only parent I’ve even known.” “Why does he hurt me?” “You know why.” THE FLYING FUCK IS UP WITH THIS FAMILY?!

WHY IS DOOFUS SO UPSETTING?

Wow Goldie, that was harsh.

Percival P. Peppinton. A.) that name is AMAZING B.) digging the Willy Wonka look.

“Hey, I got range!” Johnny is too cute.

The honey bin. Yikes.

Hey, the Beagle Boys are a legit family, even if their mom wasn’t actually there!

Sharkbomb. Just beautiful. I think Glomgold has some issues to work out.

“Super young aunt.”

Digging Mark’s casual outfit.

Boyd is BABY AND MUST BE PROTECTED.

I saw that Goofy Movie reference. And the Flounder hat.

I love that Mark has a phone charm of himself. Sidenote, I miss phone charms.

I wish Glomgold had covered my eyes too. CANNOT UNSEE.

Glomgold’s pics are GREAT. I feel like he’s had those for awhile, just incase.

Quick thinking Louie ftw!

That hug was TOO CUTE. Louie really NAILS affectionate gestures.

Louie is as...photogenic as his Dadnld.

“POOL TIME.” I had the same reaction as everyone else.

Impressed Goldie is impressed.

Oh Glomgold, you keep doing you.

I get you Huey.

“THE DUKE OF DESTRUCTION!” The crew really likes dukes.

A WILD LAUNCHPAD APPEARS.

“I’M THE MASTER OF THE SKY!” I love that the dragon looks like the Sunchaser/Cloudslayer. It’s the little details.

“I’M SURPRISING MYSELF, THIS IS AMAZING!” LAUNCHPAD IS BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE HIM.

“What a great life lesson!” Solid parenting. Anyone else want to see Launchpad and Della play this together. I mean, what better way to bond than playing video games together (that aren’t Mario Kart or Smash Bros)?

“WOO, JETPACKS!” SERIOUSLY, the two of them would get along SO WELL.

Doofus confirmed for masochist on top of sadist.

Did the invite say to bring bathing suits? Also, Goldie is looking FINE in that gold one piece.

Glomgold, are you...ok? Do you ALSO have daddy issues?

God I love Goldie and Louie bonding.

Notice how Boyd never touches the water? Love that he keeps the bowtie on. And again, BOYD IS BABY.

Goldie is DUMMY THICC

“The greatest adventure of all-waiting.” Oh sweetie.

Della, you should chill on the whole danger thing.

“Every journey begins with a single step.”That’s much better.

THAT IS WHY I NEVER LET MY GUARD DOWN!

“I SHOULD NEVER TRY ANYTHING NEW!” I feel ya.

HE’S A PINBALL WIZARD!

DO NOT TOUCH MY BABY BOYD!

“Beaks would NEVER miss out on that sweet clickbait.” “Click-what now?”

Aren’t acronyms fun?

“Do you know how many evil robots I’ve face? *nervous laughter* Too many.” OH MY SWEET CHILD!”

POOR BOYD! That legit made me sad. LET HIM BE A REAL BOY!

BUTLER DAD OUT!

“DO NOT PEER behind the curtain of reality, bud.” That’s a great line.

THIS POOR KID IS HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS! HELP HIM!

Butler Dad, noping out again.

Louie looked legit sad about what happened. He’s a good boi.

“I’m gonna need a really big bag of rice.” YOU DON’T DESERVE BOYD.

Money, Money, Money. I’d like to play that game.

LOUIE JUST WANTS SOMEONE HE CAN CONNECT WITH! I’m kind of hoping it ends up being Donald or Della that fills that role for him.

“I swore after last year no one’s EYES WOULD MELT OUT OF THERE HEADS.” WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

Et tu, Goldie?

They really are two peas in a pod. I bet she would have ended up giving Louie a cut.

“Hi, I’m BOYD a DEFINITELY real boy, and I’m going to DESTROY YOU.”

“YOU’RE A REAL, SWEET, KIND BOY, I SWEAR!” No arguments here.

Someone is concerned for Louie’s well-being.

THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS CHILD!

I legit want Louie and Boyd to become friends.

Aw Goldie, you DO CARE!

NOT RIGHT.

DELLA LOVES HER BABIES!

“IT’S OVER 9000!” You can NEVER go wrong with a Dragon Ball reference.

SUPER SAIYAN HUEY!

“Well, at least he’s out of his comfort zone.” You might have created a monster there, Della. At least he’s getting out his aggression in a safe and health manner.

Louie could never truly be a conman, he cares about others too much to let them take the fall. And that is noble of him.

Goldie is BRUTAL.

SUPERHERO LANDING!

Louie understands the power of family.

“YOU SENTIMENTAL TOASTER.” Burn?

Yay for Doofus’ parents standing up to him! THAT’S THE POWER OF BOYD!

“I’m...free.” THIS MAN NEEDS THERAPY, STAT.

“YOU’RE IN TOO DEEP.” It’s ALWAYS the quiet ones.

“I’d say you get used to it, but that would be a lie.” The words of a man who has had his heart broken.

LET LOUIE FIND A FRIEND/MENTOR!

THE PHOTOS! GOLDIE DOES HAVE A HEART!

[dalekofchaos]

List of ways they could’ve handled Luke in the Sequel Trilogy

My other Sequel trilogy wasted potential posts

Rey

Finn

Poe

Rose

Luke

Han

Leia

Kylo Ren

Hux

Captain Phasma

Snoke

Actually use Luke in The Force Awakens. Don’t waste Mark Hamill. Don’t exclude him from marketing. Don’t force him to be on a mountain and say no lines whatsoever.

Have Luke’s big reveal be on Starkiller Base. Use Mark Hamill’s suggestion. ‘You can still have me come in at the very end, but how about this. How about Leia’s trying to contact me telepathically, she gets frustrated because there’s no answers, so she rushes to the new Death Star’–that’s three, so far.”He continued, “‘And she almost gets there but she gets stopped by two Stormtroopers and, just before she’s abducted, one Stormtrooper turns to the other one, blows him away, pulls off his helmet and says “Hi, sis, I’m here to rescue you.”‘ I say, ‘It’ll blow the roof off the joint, I’m still in it at the very end.'”“I think it’s more effective to have people that really have a history with Han Solo witness his death and be unable to stop it,” the actor claimed. “His wife, the mother of his child, his best friend, instead of two characters that have known him, what, 20 minutes?”

Use Mark’s other suggestion. After Finn is knocked unconscious, have the person who lifts the Skywalker Lightsaber be Luke. Luke duels Kylo and defeats his nephew and saves Rey and Finn. I know Jedi and force sensitives are more durable than normal people, but if you are thrown into a tree, you are going to be unconscious for at least an hour. So yes Luke being the one to lift the lightsaber would’ve been much better. It would’ve been a great entrance. The entire audience would have been cheering as they witness Luke’s return. Luke helps Chewie getting Rey and Finn aboard the Falcon and returns to D’Qar. Reunites with Leia and ends with Luke, Rey and Finn flying to the Ancient Jedi Temple on Ach-To preparing to train the new Jedi. 

Luke grieves for Han

Luke actually trying to help Ben as a Padawan, but it is in vain as he already turned to the dark side and made his choice.

Luke will tell Rey why he left the map behind. He wanted Leia to come and find him. It is revealed that Luke  did not run away, did not even consider running away, but rather went looking for the Jedi’s beginnings find the balance of dark and light–Luke Skywalker felt Rey and Finn awaken across half the galaxy, and settled on Ach-To, and waited.

Let Luke and Rey have a meaningful mentor and student relationship. Luke trains Rey, Rey develops her skills and Rey has a father figure that shows her place in the galaxy

Reveal that Luke is Rey’s father. After Rey falls into the dark side cave, Luke finds her and brings her near the fire and is there to comfort her. Then the revelation happens. Rey says “I’ve never felt so alone.” And we get Luke telling her “the force is strong in my family. My father had it, I have it, my sister has it and my daughter has it” “There is a reason you dreamed of this place.” “You were never meant to be left on Jakku…I thought you died the night in the academy.” “All those years. I was so alone.” “I know. I’m sorry.” “Did you ever try to find me?” “Of course. For so long I searched the galaxy for you. Everyone said that you had died that night in the temple, that I should give up searching. But through the force, I could still feel you. I knew you were still alive. Every face I seen, it was your. Every voice I heard, it was yours. It drove me crazy. I came to this island, turned away from the force because it was so hard. Feeling that you were somewhere in the galaxy and being unable to find you. Seeing you in front of me right now… I’ve never felt so lucky.” And Rey with tears in her eyes. “I waited so long for you and your finally here” they embrace, father and daughter reunited.” Rey then asks about her mother. Luke sadly says “her name was Mara Jade and she loved you very much.” Rey why she was left on Jakku. “Because of your cousin Ben, Kylo Ren.”  Luke tells her that after a decade of training Ben, and fighting to keep the dark side at bay, Ben turned to the dark side because his family kept the secret that Darth Vader was his grandfather. He still wanted to help his nephew and save him from Snoke. One night he went to him to talk to him, Ben saw this as Luke being afraid of his power and Ben was the one to strike first. And then he woke up to see the other Jedi Masters dead. His wife Mara Jade dead and even the younglings dead. Only six other Jedi left with Ben, those who would become the Knights Of Ren. Rey left with Ben because she trusted her cousin and she couldn’t find Luke or Mara.  and Ben left her on Jakku where no one would ever find her because a part of him couldn’t kill his cousin.

If we had to have a broken Luke, what would bring him back, is his father. Basically have a Lion King moment with Anakin and Luke. "You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself Luke, you are more than what you have become." would've meant more in my opinion if it were Anakin who reached out to Luke than Yoda.

Luke wants to save Leia. He  lifts his X-Wing and heads towards The Supremacy. Boards the ship and confronts Snoke. Luke will reveal his Green Lightsaber and Snoke’s own Black Lightsaber. They fight, while Rey and Kylo fights. Luke defeats Snoke, but Kylo cuts Rey’s hand off. Enraged, Luke knocks Kylo out with a force repulse. So Luke gives Chewie the signal and gets Rey to safety, while Luke heads back to his X-Wing. 

On Crait as Finn is about to make his sacrifice, we see Luke’s X-Wing firing and destroying the mini death star. 

Luke is actually there with his moment with Leia. He is there in person, not a force projection, he. is. there.

A true fight between Luke and Kylo. Kylo Ren orders every ship to fire on Luke AT-M6’s all firing but to everyone’s surprise, all blasts stop frozen in midair. Luke wipes the salt off his robes and sends the turbolasers right back at the AT-M6s and TIE-Fighters. Brings down the transports and Kylo’s shuttle and the Star Destroyers in orbit. Kylo descends from his crushed shuttle, preparing to kill his uncle. We have a real lightsaber battle between Luke and Kylo. Luke has his green lightsaber. Their blades clash. Their dialogue remains the same, but Luke is there. Luke is toying with Kylo, similar to how Vader toyed with him on Bespin.  When Kylo makes his dramatic slut ™ lunge at Luke, but Luke dodges and cuts Kylo’s hand off. And finally Luke gives his “see you around kid” but Luke does not die, he leaves to board his X-Wing 

It ends with Rey, Luke and Leia together, brother and sister holding onto Rey’s hand. A father and his daughter and her aunt. “We have everything we need

What they chose to do with Luke instead

Luke is not marketed at all in The Force Awakens and is on a mountain and is only there as a cameo with no lines whatsoever

The Force Awakens established that Luke left a map to be found. It is never brought up. Han said he left to find the Temple to the First Jedi. It is never brought up. Funny how what was established is never brought up in the movie whatsoever

Luke, Han and Leia do not reunite at all. 

Luke gives up. Luke Skywalker is a beacon of hope and optimism and love against all odds, and the fact that that was twisted into being depicted as some foolish youth naivety, and that the only way to make him “human” was to retract all that and make him a bitter, jaded man is so fucking disgusting. Even more disgusting is in TLJ novelization had him dreaming of never leaving Tatooine and having him live under the Empire's dominance. He does not even care that his sister’s life and the Resistance she is leading is in danger. Jedi do not give up. You might say that Yoda and Obi-Wan also gave up. But for those two, the Sith took over the galaxy, they had to go into hiding to protect and guide Luke and Leia. Obi-Wan wanted to save Leia and guide Luke. Yoda always wanted to train Leia as a Jedi and bring Anakin back to the light. He was reluctant to train Luke but he still did his duty as a Jedi Master. They did not just give up and wanted to die and they did not betray their characters at all. Luke spends most of Last Jedi on a windswept island, brooding in solemn silence and frozen by indecision. He doesn’t connect with Rey on any meaningful level, doesn’t impart wisdom or knowledge, and never reasserts himself as the powerful Jedi he once was. A brief physical duel against Rey ends with her as the undisputed victor, completely killing his deserved mythos and her potential character arc in one fell swoop. It’s clear in that moment that he has nothing to teach her, and nothing to contribute to the overall narrative. The boundless potential that seemed poised to explode at the end of The Force Awakens fizzles here but never ignites.  And without any training at all, Rey defeats Luke Skywalker and Luke acts all cowardly and begs her to leave. He does buy The Resistance time and saves his sister, but it was ultimately pointless. He wasn’t even there and he dies pointlessly. What we got was not Luke Skywalker. Luke Skywalker is hope and optimism. Luke Skywalker is showing that no matter what, compassion, faith and love will always prevail. Luke is the hero that inspired an entire generations to aspire to be better, aspire to be heroes. Luke is what we wanted to see and what we got was not Luke Skywalker. Luke is someone who thought Doctor Aphra was a good person, she proves him wrong but he still had that hope for her. Luke believed that Darth Vader of all people still had good in him and was willing to die and he was able to reach his father. In Battlefront II’s Story, Luke saves Del Meeko because he asked and he offered Del a better life, a choice. Inferno Squad has committed atrocities in the name of the Empire, yet Luke still gave Del Meeko a chance. Canon Luke Skywalker is a kind hearted hero who will never run from a fight or knowingly leave a loved one in danger and will even save his enemy. This is Luke Skywalker. Luke is compassionate, adores his family, would never leave them. The Luke Skywalker I knew would never even think about killing his nephew in his sleep when there is always another way. Luke believes in the light and was willing to die to save his father. Darth Vader committed atrocities for decades, Luke still believed there was good in him. He would never give up on his family nor would he even consider killing his own nephew in his sleep just because he sensed darkness there. He would never abandon his sister at death’s door when she needed him most. The Hero’s Journey that he was following was ignored completely and he just gave up and wanted to die. And he dies instead of reuniting with Leia properly. Mark Hamill wanted Luke to live until Episode IX where he would pass on what he learned to Rey. No big battle with Snoke, no passing on, instead Luke dies and all we’re getting is force ghost Luke. Luke Skywalker was a hero to an entire generation.  Luke was the true heart of Star Wars. His was the journey we followed from idealistic farm boy dreaming of adventure, to reluctant warrior, and finally to savior of the entire galaxy. The original trilogy built him up, and The Last Jedi finally broke him down. I for one mourn my hero’s passing.   

Luke Skywalker tries to murder his nephew in his sleep and  is blamed for Ben Solo’s fall and Kylo Ren. Luke would not even think of trying to kill his nephew in his sleep. He would try to talk to him and try to pull him back to the light. His sister brought Ben there for protection and guidance. Even if that did fail, you did not need to make Luke attempt to murder him. You did not need to make Luke, Leia and Han at fault for Kylo Ren. Kylo is a grown ass man, he is responsible for his own actions. Kylo was going to murder the Jedi and younglings regardless, he already fell to the dark side. No one is responsible for Kylo’s actions but Kylo Ren.

Rey and Luke have no meaningful relationship. There is no teacher and student relationship. Luke teaches her nothing. Rey is already all powerful for.....reasons. He doesn’t even impart any sort of wisdom, guidance or a semblance that they even had a relationship or that he taught her anything. All he was towards Rey was a bitter old man trying to get the girl to leave her lawn. And all of a sudden “we passed on all we know” SINCE FUCKING WHEN??? Rey learned nothing all movie and we are to expect she learns everything off screen. We were deprived of a positive Rey and Luke mentor and student relationship and we were given complete garbage. What we should've gotten was Luke teaching Rey to feel the force, to build her own lightsaber and that attachments can lead you to the dark side if you let them, but they won't lead you to darkness if you control your emotions. A battle between Rey and Luke against Kylo and the Knights Of Ren. Rey abducted and Luke has to lift his X-Wing and board the Supremacy to save Rey. Luke fighting Snoke and Rey against Kylo. Rey loses her fight and loses a hand. Luke stops Snoke and takes Rey to escape. Luke blasts away the battering laser. Fights Kylo on Crait with his green lightsaber. Escapes and reunites with Leia and Rey. Instead we are given nothing.

Luke doesn’t grieve for Han. Han Solo is Luke’s best friend. They have been together for decades. We are not allowed to see Luke react to Han’s death or Luke to grieve that his best friend is dead. Han was a big influence and friend it was dismissed as if he barely knew him. To quote Mark Hamill on the matter “They had time for me to milk that big alien but to show any human emotion? Nah"

Luke’s last moment with Leia is ultimately pointless. He was there as a projection. His last moment with Leia was made meaningless. He wasn't even there. It was a great moment with Mark and Carrie, but it was ultimately a giant fuck you to everyone who loved Luke and Leia and wanted to see them reunite. 

Luke’s confrontation with Kylo is ultimately meaningless. We are not allowed to see Luke Skywalker as a powerful Jedi Master. He does not wield his Green Lightsaber, he does not bring down all the AT-ATs, the transports, shuttles or bring down the star destroyers in orbit. He’s not even there thus making the confrontation with Kylo ultimately pointless. He toys with Kylo, but we don’t see a lightsaber fight between them.

Luke is only coming back as a force ghost and from the sound of it, it will only be a cameo. 

Mark Hamill was ultimately disgusted with the direction they took with Luke. He is heartbroken that he never got to reunite with his friends and that Carrie is no longer with us. He now wishes that he’s done with Star Wars. He went from being excited to returning to the role that made his career and the character that he loves so much to being broken and apathetic. Crying on set and just being absolutely miserable throughout the whole affair. Mark did not return to play Luke Skywalker, he returned to play Jake Soywalker. It’s like Mark said “should’ve left well enough alone” Should’ve left the original trilogy alone and made your own story, but no, you had to break down Han, Luke and Leia to pointlessly build up these new characters. Mark Hamill and Luke Skywalker deserved better

Mark tried to warn us

[kostya-kolomnitinowe886c-blog]

The Names and Faces of the Florida School Shooting Victims

As gunshots echoed through the high school, a geography teacher, Scott Beigel, 35, paused to usher stragglers into his classroom before locking the door, only to be shot and killed himself as the shooter strode by.

A parent, Jennifer Zeif, credited Mr. Beigel for saving her son’s life. Short Term Loans Her son, Matthew, 14, had been the last one to slip inside the class, just ahead of Mr. Beigel. Seconds later, the room filled with a smoky haze, Matthew said, and he turned to see his teacher lying near the door, pale and bleeding. Consumer Banking | Personal Banking | U.S. Bank

Scott Beigel.

“Mr. Beigel could have passed Matthew up and gone in the classroom first,” Ms. Zeif said. “In that case, Matthew would have been the one in the doorway.”

On Thursday, as officials identified 17 people killed in the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., some of the victims, like Mr. Beigel, were remembered for having tried to spare others in the moments of chaos that unfolded inside the school.

Aaron Feis, a popular football coach who was killed, also had tried to protect students, officials said. “He was that kind of guy,” said Jack Fris, a former football player at the school.

Friends said they were not surprised that Mr. Beigel, a much-beloved figure at a Pennsylvania summer camp that he attended and later helped to run, had put his students��� safety above his own.

“Thousands of people at Camp Starlight looked up to Scott,” said Grant Williams, 33, an emergency room nurse who worked with Mr. Beigel at the camp for several summers and was mourning long-distance with former camp counselors and campers on Thursday. “He was someone you strive to be like,” said another former Starlight counselor.

At the Florida high school, teachers and students were among the dead. There was a soccer player, a student nicknamed Guac and a trombonist in the marching band. Eight of the victims were girls and young women; nine were boys and men. They ranged from 14 years old to 49.

These are some of their stories.

Alyssa Alhadeff.Alyssa Alhadeff

Alyssa Alhadeff, 14, had played competitive soccer since she was 3 years old. Like any athlete, she had her ups and downs. But when her club, Parkland, faced off against the rival team from Coral Springs on Feb. 13, she was at the top of her game.

“Her passing was on, her shooting was on, her decision-making was on,” her mother, Lori Alhadeff, recalled. With her outgoing personality, Alyssa had a wide circle of friends at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. She placed first in a debate tournament, was taking Algebra 2 and Spanish 3, and was honing her skills as an attacking midfielder. The score at what was to be her last time on the soccer field was 1-0, Parkland.

“I was so proud of her,” her mother said. “I told her it was the best game of her life.”

Martin Duque Anguiano.Martin Duque Anguiano

Martin Duque Anguiano, a 14-year-old freshman, was “a very funny kid, outgoing and sometimes really quiet,” his brother, Miguel Duque, wrote on a GoFundMe page for funeral expenses.

“He was sweet and caring and loved by all his family,” Miguel wrote. “Most of all he was my baby brother.”

Nicholas Dworet.Credit...via ReutersNicholas Dworet

Nicholas Dworet, a promising high school swimmer, took a recruiting visit to the University of Indianapolis a few weeks ago. After a group dinner, he pulled the coach aside and said he wanted to compete there after he graduated this spring.

“He was an instant part of our family,” said Jason Hite, the university’s swim coach. Mr. Hite said Nicholas, 17, had received an academic scholarship and planned to study physical therapy.

University officials and a youth swim team in Florida said Nicholas was among those killed on Wednesday. A post on the Facebook page for TS Aquatics, the Florida club where he swam, described Nicholas as an amazing person who had been “on a major upswing in his life.”

Nicholas had improved academically and athletically since starting high school, Mr. Hite said, and his mentors in Florida “felt like the best was still to come for him.”

“We were going to continue to groom him to be a future leader for our team,” Mr. Hite said.

Mr. Hite said he sent Nicholas a text message on Wednesday afternoon after hearing about the shooting at his school. He got no response.

“The saddest thing to me is how much life this kid had and how hard he had worked to change directions and change paths,” Mr. Hite said. “He was really going in the right direction and he had really created some opportunities for himself.”

Aaron Feis.Aaron Feis

At Stoneman Douglas, Mr. Feis was known to all — an assistant football coach and a security monitor. But he too had graduated from the school, played on the football team, and knew exactly what it was like to be a student in these halls.

So he was seen as someone who looked out for students who got in trouble, those who were struggling, those without fathers at home. “They said he was like another father,” Mr. Feis’s grandfather, Raymond, recalled. “He’d go out of his way to help anybody.”

School officials said that Mr. Feis, 37, did the same on Wednesday. When there were signs of trouble, they said, he responded immediately to help. “When Aaron Feis died, when he was killed — tragically, inhumanely — he did it protecting others; you can guarantee that,” said Scott Israel, the sheriff of Broward County.

“I don’t know when Aaron’s funeral is,” Sheriff Israel said. “I don’t know how many adults are going to go, but you’ll get 2,000 kids there.”

In Parkland, Austin Lazar, a student, recalled his former coach as cheery and selfless. “He always put everybody before himself.”

Mr. Feis was married, his family said, and had a daughter, Arielle.

Jaime Guttenberg.Credit...via Associated PressJaime Guttenberg

Jaime Guttenberg, 14, danced nonstop. Sometimes she went on for hours, her aunt, Ellyn Guttenberg, said. Jaime was warm, too, always taking Ms. Guttenberg’s son, who has special needs, under her wing.

Jaime’s Facebook page, now memorialized, shows photos of her dancing, hanging out with friends, enjoying the beach and snuggling a dog.

Her father, Fred Guttenberg, posted this on Facebook: “I am broken as I write this trying to figure out how my family gets through this.”

Christopher Hixon.Credit...Susan Stocker/South Florida Sun SentinelChristopher Hixon

Christopher Hixon, 49, the school’s athletic director, was a well-known figure in Florida high school sports. One man, Jose Roman, posted on social media that Mr. Hixon was “a great coach and an awesome motivator” when he was a freshman athlete years ago.

Mr. Hixon was named athletic director of the year in 2017 by the Broward County Athletics Association.

Luke Hoyer.Luke Hoyer

Luke Hoyer, 15, spent last Christmas with his extended family in South Carolina, where he bowled, joined in a big holiday meal and swapped stories with relatives.

A cousin, Grant Cox, who was at the Christmas gathering said the family had been told by the police that Luke, a freshman at Stoneman Douglas, was among those killed on Wednesday.

Mr. Cox said Luke was a basketball player who was ambitious about the sport and admired N.B.A. stars like LeBron James and Stephen Curry.

“I know Luke loved his family,” Mr. Cox said. “I know he did. He had a huge heart.”

“He was quiet, but a very happy individual,” he said.

Cara LoughranCara Loughran

Cara Loughran, 14, loved the beach. She adored her cousins. And she was an excellent student, her family said.

“We are absolutely gutted,” by her death, her aunt, Lindsay Fontana, wrote in a Facebook post. “While your thoughts are appreciated, I beg you to DO SOMETHING. This should not have happened to our niece Cara and it cannot happen to other people’s families.”

Gina Montalto.Credit...via Associated PressGina Montalto

Gina Montalto, 14, was identified in local news accounts as a member of her school’s winter color guard team.

Andy Mroczek, who has worked as a choreographer at Stoneman Douglas, posted a tribute to Gina on Facebook. “We lost a beautiful soul tonight,” he wrote.

Joaquin Oliver.Joaquin Oliver

People often spelled Joaquin Oliver’s first name wrong, so he went with a snappy nickname: Guac.

He played basketball in the city recreational league — his jersey number was 2 — and he loved to write, filling a notebook with poetry, said Julien Decoste, a close friend of Joaquin’s and a fellow senior at Stoneman Douglas.

“Guac and I always wanted to graduate together and prove everyone wrong, that we would be successful together,” Julien said.

On Tuesday, Joaquin, 17, asked Julien to help out at his next basketball game, which was scheduled for Thursday.

“I’ll be there,” Julien texted his friend. “Good looks brotha,” Joaquin responded.

On Wednesday, as he hid inside a closet during the shooting, Julien texted Joaquin to check in.

“You good?” Julien texted. “Bro I need you to answer me please.”

Alaina Petty.Alaina Petty

Alaina Petty, 14, had helped do cleanup work in Florida after Hurricane Irma, her family said in a statement, and she was an active member of a volunteer group with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

“Her selfless service brought peace and joy to those that had lost everything during the storm,” the family’s statement said. “While we will not have the opportunity to watch her grow up and become the amazing woman we know she would become, we are keeping an eternal perspective.”

Alaina was also a member of the Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps, her family said.

Meadow Pollack.Meadow Pollack

Meadow Pollack, 18, was a senior at the high school who was planning to go to Lynn University in Boca Raton, Fla., next year, according to her father, Andrew Pollack, who said his daughter was among the dead.

“She was just unbelievable,” Mr. Pollack said. “She was a very strong-willed young girl who had everything going for her.”

Mr. Pollack described his daughter as smart, beautiful and caring. She worked at her boyfriend’s family’s motorcycle repair business.

“She just knew how to get what she wanted all the time,” Mr. Pollack said. “Nothing could ever stop her from what she wanted to achieve.”

Helena Ramsay.Helena Ramsay

Helena Ramsay, 17, was smart, kindhearted and thoughtful, her relative, Curtis Page, wrote on Facebook.

“Though she was somewhat reserved, she had a relentless motivation towards her academic studies, and her soft warm demeanor brought the best out in all who knew her,” he said, later adding: “She would have started college next year.”

Alex Schachter.Alex Schachter

Alex Schachter, 14, played the trombone in the Stoneman Douglas marching band, and was proud to have participated in winning a state championship last year. A freshman at the high school, he often played basketball with friends and was “a sweetheart of a kid,” his father, Max Schachter, said. Earlier this week, the two had discussed which classes Alex would take next semester.

Mr. Schachter said Alex had loved his mother, who died when he was five years old. His older brother also attends Stoneman Douglas and survived the shooting. Alex “just wanted to do well and make his parents happy,” his father said.

Carmen SchentrupCarmen Schentrup

Carmen Schentrup, a 2018 National Merit Scholarship semifinalist, was the smartest 16-year-old that her cousin, Matt Brandow, had ever met, he said in a Facebook post.

“I’m in a daze right now,” he wrote.

Peter WangPeter Wang.

Peter Wang, 15, a freshman, helped his cousin, Aaron Chen, adjust when he settled in Florida.

“He was always so nice and so generous,” Aaron, 16, said, adding that even though Peter was younger he had worked to be sure Aaron didn’t get bullied when he first arrived.

Peter was last seen in his gray uniform for the Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps, or J.R.O.T.C., on Wednesday. On Thursday, Aaron and another cousin said the authorities had informed the family that Peter was among those killed in the shooting.

“He was the kid in school who would be friends with anyone,” said the other cousin, Lin Chen, 24. “He didn’t care about popularity.”

[kurojiri]

It’s inevitable

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Gen: Tony Stark & Peter Parker Summary: Half a decade later and Tony still remembers it; the felicity touch of his parental instincts he carried since meeting Peter Parker. Prompt: 100: The felicity of the first touch. A/N: Written for the Iron Dad 1000 Feelings challenge @irondad1000 Word Count: 2,894 Or read on: ao3 | ffnt 

It had not been that big of a deal, he had hugs before (it made him think about Jarvis and his mother). Had fist-pumped with fans and friends alike. He had never been a stranger to someone caressed his cheeks when he remembered how Pepper did it, always so gentle, always attentive.

It had never been an alien concept. Tony had been well versed about it. Had harmless memories of it.

Yet.

When Peter came into his world it got harder to confront some of his emotions. The kid was just so reckless. So, spirited with innocence that few had these days. He made him want to protect him. Pepper saw it when he worked long hours with him, when he repaired and upgraded the suit. Happy did too when he picked up and dropped off the kid many times and listened to the many stories Peter had to share. Rhodey didn’t miss the train when he came over and shared very embarrassing stories from their youth when Peter asked about them.

It all had turned his life into a mushy mess with him picking up signals that he was getting very parental. Tony Stark had never called a family man, had never had the chance to explore it either. And when he gotten to meet Peter Parker, it still hadn’t fully clicked until it all winded out with the whole before and after the homecoming disaster. But it should have. It should have! There had been signs everywhere. All the makings of Tony seeing that the kid was more than a teen superhero that he was mentoring.

He was his kid. They may have not shared the same blood or were relatives, but Peter had become the son he never dared to imagine before he could have. He was the very light that he needed when all else turned into hell. He offered Tony a way to keep his life moderately safe. To have Pepper, Happy and Rhodey relieved that Tony could go a day with eating at a normal schedule if he had the kid nearby. To sleep better when Peter noticed the dark circles.

Peter had practically became the source of guilt trip if someone needed him to act like a normal functioning human being; and he couldn’t fault them for doing that. Nobody would want to disappoint the kid. Not when his brown eyes were the equivalent of puppies and kittens that stared at someone’s soul.

All those hours when they had laughed, when he accidentally parented his spider kid Tony felt like that there was this crawling sensation was coming in waves. As if, Peter’s continuous exposure into Tony’s life was spreading him into thinner layers. He needed to always have some way to communicate with him, to know if there were any new villains popping up. Tony really didn’t want to watch or have the experience of Peter’s form ever crumble. Because, it had been scary when the plane had crashed, and he later learned about certain pieces of what happened that night.

He hadn’t been stupid; he knew that Peter didn’t tell him everything.

But he allowed him time to go over his own triumphs and to hopefully find peace to ever confide with him.

.

It still struck him with awe that Tony had a teenager in the facility. Yes, it had been awhile since they established a routine for Peter coming and going to the facility while juggling being Spider-Man and being Tony Stark’s personal intern. The kid had a lot going for him, and Tony had been growing restless with how consistent he was getting paranoid from his nightmares.

It just felt like madness that his life really changed. And it all had been thanks for the positive effects from Peter and from his own life experiences of working on damage control when his mind went out of control. An unlucky perk of being a superhero.

He didn’t know why he had his dreams so often. Or why he kept them when he worked inside his lab. Tony just knew that some way or another he needed to have the perfect defenses for his family. For everyone that placed trust into him.

It had felt like it had been so long since he found a moment for himself.

To be only Tony. Not Tony Stark. Nor Iron Man.

Just Tony. The person that hardly ate right when Peter, Pepper or Rhodey were there to threaten him to act human. The same one that kept on working and working as seconds passed and multiplied as hours used for his eyes to look at screens or his hands padding through updates or calls. It all been a cycle. Watching, reacting and adapting. The only difference was that his close-knit family had grown from his mother and Jarvis.

It went through tragedies, triumphs and all in between.

Years, decades (if he wanted to be accurate) had brushed on his skin, he was no longer as youthful like before. The reflections that he saw had explored that reality. He had a kid. He had a fiancée and he was a superhero billionaire. That had been his life.

Was how it still ran when he woke up to that dream.

It felt so real. So warm. Tony had wanted it badly. He told Pepper so when they had been jogging by the park. And of course, she had her side, while he had his. Yet, he knew that they could work it out. It was them; it was all the years since they first met. He could see how much she wanted it too when he told her.  

There had been a hesitation in her part; gods know he had those same feelings before when he had been going through endless bottles when he had been far younger. Sinking further from those ideas when he first didn’t know how to cope by been left alone. He had the stories to prove when he looked back. The dream though, had been what helped him see how much he wanted and needed another chapter in his life. Pepper and Tony deserved that kind of ending.

Didn’t they?

He had seen everyone else finding their own conclusions, and with Peter...Tony had seen a part of it. A bright kind of stepping stone where his heart could relax. He had wanted the world to finally let him rest so he could see the end of the tunnel.

Was that too much to ask?

.

Apparently, Tony still had a lot to learn from May. He always had known that mothers were strong figures, and he never doubted it when he remembered how strong his own had been with the kind of life they shared. When May Parker entered into his life, it had shown him how protective, caring and utterly lively she could be when she saw the whole picture. She became fast friends with Pepper, (not that it had been shocking, they both had a lot of common when it came to taking care of reckless people like Tony and Peter respectively) had wrangled a modest schedule to help him deal with parenting a kid that wormed into his world. She didn’t have to, but that had been the point. The Parkers were honest people.

Such a rare aunt-nephew duo when Tony had mostly known dysfunctional families and strangers in his life. It had reminded him of how wonderful Rhodey’s family was. A touch of normality that Tony could never achieved or been allowed since Howard had been his father.

He had wanted to protect them. Wanted them to know how grateful he truly been when she didn’t stop Peter’s internship and Spider-Man time. She and Pepper had become the very people that made it all possible when he couldn’t separate the paternal instincts he got when Peter came into his life. It all had been altered into something else that he couldn’t recognize. He was not the same person when he was 19—25—30. They all had different outlooks.

All different phases really, when he remembered how the world looked to a child, a rebellious teen, to a reckless twenty something years old self went through. It had a way to circle and morph into the one he had now. It proved that Tony was not a man that wanted to go back to the very beginning. He was a futurist. Someone that would and hall the essential makings to keep progress going. Having a kid had only amplified his desire to better the world. If only to pass on a worthy legacy he never had.

It had been why when Peter made his debut at the ship that made it all go to hell.

He could already sense how his heart wanted to explode. How his anger at the universe at large gave him this kind of obstacle. He didn’t—Tony couldn’t afford any more mistakes. Not when Peter with his large brown eyes were staring at him. With his go happy smiles at his movie references was still inherently a part of his charm as he worked alongside him.

When they crashed into a planet, when he had seen who exactly he had to work with to beat Thanos he desperately wished that the tag team that they formed wouldn’t cost them greatly. Strange, the wizard that had looped him inside the whole parade didn’t give him much to work on either when he told them their chances. But he was Tony Stark. A man that worked with impossible factors.

He would make it work. (Because, there was no other option; he couldn’t lose any more of his heart here.)

.

“Mr. Stark. I don't feel so good.”

.

He woke up to the sound of his heart racing. Never a good sign. His skin had been burning hotter as his throat clogged with the puffs of air that he could barely keep; Tony had desperately wanted to go back to sleep. To go about the hours when his body was shut down and he drifted off. It had been so long since he had been able to find a moment for himself.

His lungs demanded for him to detach himself from his own bed, to free his limbs from the blanket that had once promised a luxury he didn’t have for some time. It felt so raw, the boiling emotions of before reawakening his fears. To find himself so small again, powerless from being so broken and human. Pepper had been there for him, like always, trying to calm him. In the back of his head he knew that she had been doing her best to stay stronger for each other. And Tony—he, he had been waking up every day and night wondering why it had been him. Why did it choose Peter?

He had remembered how Peter clung to him. How desperately scared he had been. It all happened so suddenly, too quickly for them as Tony watched in horror as his kid turn into dust in his arms.

It had been a sight that never dulled since he had been left in space with Nebula. Or when he had finally been rescued. But the world after that, he couldn’t really call it one. The amount of people that died from the aftershock had said it all. More than half the population of the world felt it all. The repercussions of it all and the leftovers that made of the Avengers hadn’t helped Tony either.

He didn't stay there for long.

Rhodey, Happy and Pepper were left. Not even May survived it. He lost both Parkers. In many ways, she had been lucky because of it. She didn’t have to see her nephew’s name engraved alongside the rest that perished or vanished from that day. They both had been marked together, and Tony, he had been left on Earth to trace the names he both knew and couldn’t help. He felt all the weight of the world’s tears when he went there and each time he woke up.

He knew that he had been ‘lucky’ considering that he still had Pepper. That Rhodey was still doing his best as colonial, and Happy driving him when they both knew he needed to talk in the cemetery. But Tony literally lost his kid.

The same one he vowed that he would have protected when he first met him.

The coldness of the cement stone burned him, but he still traced his name. No matter the weather, no matter if he had business, he made sure to go there. That had been his new routine. Pepper understood when she went with him with flowers, when Rhodey tagged along when Tony needed another hand to tell him that he was still there, and Happy to drive him to the deli store that Peter loved so much.

Every day it would still hurt, and everyday Tony would notice that the grass had always been cut clean and sharp. And he knew why it had always been so pristine. So many visited, so many made sure to maintain the space. Because they all knew.

The world was so much colder and dead since that day.

.

Morgan had been his joy. Both Pepper and Tony knew that. And nothing could dispute that.

But. When he remembered the small wedding, when Morgan had been born, they both had known that everything had not been as perfect as it could had been. It hadn’t been like when he lost his mom or Jarvis. Something that he could fully put away into a box because when all was said and done, Tony knew deep down that he could have prevented it.

Ultron had been a terrible loss, the Sokovia Accords had been a very demanding ending to an era. But when Thanos happened, Tony knew that the moment had been when Tony knew how much the world could grow so much weaker and stronger. It all depended on the individuals themselves and how they carried the survivor's guilt since then.  

.

Life went on.  

As much as it had to.  

Tony learned how to smile at his daughter, to his wife, to—he eventually learned that sometimes, people couldn’t always move on that quickly. And that had been fine. Because, he knew everyone coped differently.  

When he heard from them again...when he had found a way to bring Peter back, all Tony could see was how the world could be shaped if they could achieve the impossible. How much he still needed to do. And so, Tony Stark went back to work.

.

It didn’t matter that all around them had been a big battle, where the screaming never stopped, and where his blood was running high as he memorized the absolute truth that he had his kid back. Peter was alive and right in front of him.  

He was there with his hands wrapped around his son, they were both alive and Tony almost felt like he was delirious or in some strange bittersweet dream. Tightly, his heart squeezed as he heard Peter’s voice since a five-year silence. He listened to the choppy, so innocent chatter that Peter had always been known for. It held the same lightness he saw in Morgan when she first started talking; and like that, Tony felt so at peace, so relieved to have his kid back. The hug itself rallied his resolve to ending Thanos.  

When the fight was over, when the nightmare would fully end, Tony Stark would make sure that his family would all be reunited under one roof.  

.

“We won. We won Mr. Stark.”

.

It had been a sight Tony always wanted but had brushed it off as a dream.  

After half a decade later and his body screaming in protest as he lifted his head, he saw it: Peter, Morgan and Harley in the same room. The beeping of the heart monitor however, had not been in the picture. Neither when the three heads snapped to attention when they heard the rustle of his blanket. His daughter had been the first to speak, to reach out for him. He had indulged her with a kiss on her forehead, and Peter and Harley both had sat on both sides of his bed.  

He never had been fond of hospital beds, and the white walls, but when he saw his kids, all alive and relatively healthy, he couldn’t help but feel so grateful.  

Tony Stark may have not been brought up to have such affectionate dealings from his father, but he did have memories of Jarvis and his mother. He had Rhodey watching out for him since MIT, gave Happy a work for his job when he hired him and Pepper since she first became his assistant to now loving wife.

It once may have been a thoughtless concept; but now, after all the tribulations that Tony had faced, he could say that now he was happy at where he stood. Since the first touch of meeting them all, Tony Stark finally felt at peace. Pepper came into the room and chuckled at bit at seeing a dog pile on Tony’s bed.  

When she kissed his cheek, softly she said: “You can rest now, Tony.”

And he believed it. Because his whole family was there, safe and alive back in earth. Where they all belonged.

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

Second Chance at Forever - Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of this year’s entry for the @dwsecretsanta, my present to @wordsintimeandspace!  Beta’d by the always-kind @stupidsatsuma​

@doctorroseprompts​ and @timepetalscollective​ as an AU fic

General warnings for: alcohol use, cursing, discussions of sexual activities

From here on out, the story is in present day unless otherwise indicated.

Masterlist

AO3

Present Day

Rose sauntered into the restaurant, perfectly put together.  Tasteful accessories matched her dress, all in the latest fashion and coordinated.  Her handbag settled in the crook of her right elbow, her left hand gently tugging her brother along.

“Tony, come on,” she pleaded, as they paused for him to run his toy car over the hostess podium, making the sound effects himself.  “Uncle Mickey’s waiting to see you.”  Never mind the maître d’ glaring holes in their backs.

“Is he wearing a suit?” the four-year-old sulked accusingly, tugging at his tie as he trudged along.

“Yes,” Rose said firmly, silently pleading with the Universe that he was.  She didn’t know Martha terribly well, having only met her a few times, but her oldest friend’s fiancée was the type to keep him properly presented – without being overboard or overbearing, as some of his last, unsuccessful paramours had been.

“Okay then.”  Tony sighed the sigh only a benevolent child was capable of, trailing behind her as they made their way to the table.  They were only five minutes late, which was a blessing considering Tony’s last-minute stubbornness on the way out the door over his outfit.

She was so focused on him, keeping him from walking into anything or running his car over a chairback, that she barely registered the three people already seated at the table until she had him settled in a booster seat.

“Uncle Mickey!” he chirped, for once not fighting as Rose buckled him into the waiting seat.

“Hey, little dude,” Micks chuckled, good naturedly offering his hand for a fistbump to the boy’s delight.

“Hi Tony,” Martha leaned around her fiancée to smile sweetly at him.  “My, don’t you look handsome.”

“Only the best for Aunt Martha,” Tony charmed with an ‘aren’t I adorable’ beam.

“No, I’m good, thanks.  Great to see you too,” Rose joked, leaning over Tony’s head to kiss Mickey’s cheek and grin at Martha, wriggling her fingers, a gesture the other woman returned.

“Sorry, sorry,” Mickey was contrite, holding up his hands.  “Good to see you, thanks for coming.  Whatever.”

Settling back in her seat, Rose scanned the restaurant.  It was new, in a trendy part of London, with modern finishes and lots of glass and chrome.  Realizing someone sat to her right, she turned with a bright smile.  “Sorry, don’t mean to be rude.  I’m-”

The words died in her throat as she stared at the living, breathing ghost next to her.  It was him.

John.

“Rose,” she finished weakly, meeting his shocked gaze, and she was relieved to note he looked as gobsmacked as she felt.

“John,” he choked out, eyes darting between herself and Tony.

“So, I’m sure you’re wondering why we’ve asked you here,” Martha cut in cheerfully, apparently not noticing the sudden Arctic conditions at the other side of the round table.  “In working out the wedding party, we’d like you two to walk together, and thought it’d be a good idea for us to get together, so you could get to know each other without the chaos of everyone else.”

“Are you getting married?” Tony blurted, tugging at Rose’s arm.  “Mummy-”

“No, silly goose, Martha and Mickey are getting married, we’re just going to have special roles to play,” she managed to choke out, tearing her eyes away from John to give her brother a smile, genuine if not a bit shaky.

“Oh,” he pouted, leaning forward to tell John with a pout, “I didn’t get to be in my Mummy and Daddy’s wedding.”

“That’s a shame,” John said politely after a moment.  “Do you get to be in Martha and Mickey’s?”

“Uh huh.  I’m the ring bear,” Tony perked right up, still thrilled about being trusted with such an important role if how often he talked about it was any indication.  “And I’ve been practicing.”

“Have you now?  Can we see?” Martha asked, and her estimation went right up in Rose’s book; anyone who was good with Tony was all right with her.

Tony nodded, closing his eyes for a moment before snapping them open and holding up his hands.  “Rawr!”  He wriggled his body side to side, roaring and growling.

Rose broke first, bursting into giggles.  She’d known he misunderstood his role, but his interpretation was too cute to correct, and judging by Martha’s loud “Awwww!” she agreed.

“Nicely done, mate,” Mickey approved when he finished, offering another fist bump Tony gleefully returned, giggling as well.

“Well done,” John said stiffly.

“He’s all ready,” Rose agreed, winking at the bride-to-be and ignoring the man beside her.  “So, how do you two-”

They were interrupted by the waitress, a bubbly young thing who took their drink orders (Rose was careful not to order tequila) and rattled off the specials before going on her way.

“How do you know each other?” Rose repeated, once she was gone.

“Hmm?  Oh!  John – Doctor Noble – was one of my teachers first year in med school, really helped me.  I struggled at the beginning, and he offered to tutor me, and just sort of became a mentor.  We’ve done some travelling together – Doctors Without Borders, natural disaster relief, that sort of thing.  When I thought of people I’d like to stand up for me, who knew me, the real me, the Doctor – sorry, John, was the first to come to mind outside of family.”

“See, we decided to keep the wedding party small,” Mickey added.  “Jake’s my best man of course, then it’s just John and her brother Leo.”

“And for me, it’s my sister Tish, you, and Shonara.”

“Of course,” Rose pasted on a fake smile.  “So, Maid of Honor and Best Man, your brother and his girlfriend, and… us.”

Next to her, John took a long drink of his water.  “And how do you two…” he gestured between Rose and Mickey, but she noticed he never took his eyes off Tony.

“We’re old friends, grew up together.  Known each other since we were babies.”  Rose frowned at him, wondering what his preoccupation was with her brother.  Surely he’d seen small children before.  “Hang on, did she just call you ‘the Doctor’?”

He shifted uncomfortably, but Martha answered instead.

“Oh!  That’s cause, well, for one he actually is – and for another, of all our professors the first year, he was the nicest, the best teacher, and overall expert.  Any question, any field – not just medicine – and he’d be able to give a twenty minute lecture on the subject off the cuff.  Genius, he is.  Somewhere along the way he got the nickname, and it just got passed down.  Everyone calls him that.”

“Genius, really?”  Rose shot him a sweet smile.  “Never would’ve guessed.”

He glared at her, and she glared right back, blood boiling at his smug, superior face.  Only the thought that Mickey was counting on her kept her from throwing her drink (still sadly water) in his face and storming out.  Well, that and the fact that storming out with an inquisitive four-year-old was no easy task.

“Oh… kay?” Mickey let out a nervous laugh, and Rose dimly realized he and Martha were staring at them in confusion.  “Problem?”

“No,” Rose and John said in unison, fixing on fake smiles and turning to face the couple.

“So,” she focused on her friend, “how’s wedding planning going?”

Rose loved her little brother, but never more so than when he declared he had to ‘go peepee’ as soon as the drinks were delivered and appetizers ordered.  Mickey offered to take him and after a moment’s hesitation Rose let him, walking back with them and taking the opportunity for the ladies.  Going inside, she did a quick check to verify she was alone before letting out a muffled scream of frustration and disbelief.

It had been five years since she’d last seen John, and she thought she’d put it all behind her, let it go.  The moment their eyes met, though, it had all come rushing back, overwhelming her.  The attraction was still there, strong as ever, but all the hurt and anger he had nearly overwhelmed her.

Washing her hands thoroughly, she stared in the mirror above the sink.  “I don’t know if I can do this,” she told her reflection.  Outside the door she could hear Tony’s little voice chirping, and Mickey’s lower rumble in reply.

It helped refocus her; she was doing this for Mickey.  Her best friend had found the love of his life, and she would do whatever it took to make his big day perfect – even if it meant being in the same room as the man who had broken her heart.

Shit.

John smiled politely as Martha chattered on, watching for when the rest of the table returned from the restrooms.  Though he was able to keep up with the conversation enough to nod, smile, and hum in the right places, his mind was a million miles away and five years in the past.

Rose.  She looked more stunning than he remembered, and that said a lot.  She was a mother now, clearly, and while he was happy for her, he was also terrified.

As a medical school professor and a trained doctor himself, he was familiar with all manner of science and mathematics – specifically reproductive biology.  And addition.

Fact: Rose was a mother, clearly unmarried.

Fact: her little boy was roughly four, meaning he would have been conceived around five years ago.

Fact: She had been horrified when she’d seen him, and her expression tensed every time he looked at the kid.

Hypothesis: He was, potentially, a father.  And royally fucked.

Dinner passed in a blur, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about how rude or uninterested he was coming off.  His mind raced, replaying the last voicemails and texts Rose had sent him.  Messages that had gone unreturned.  The last one, the one from more than a month after the last time he saw her – the one that he deleted without listening to.

Was that it?  In that short message, had she changed his world?  And what she must have thought of him, to never hear back…  His heart dropped.  She must have been scared, so, so scared – abandoned by him, and pregnant to boot.  They’d never talked about their families, the conversations had never gotten that far – did she have anyone?  Was she utterly alone, but for Mickey who clearly adored Tony?

Before he knew it dinner was over, and they were all standing and hugging and shit, she’s leaving.  And she’s taking my kid.

“Rose?”  His voice sounded loud to his own ears, but it made her stop and turn, raising an eyebrow and looking thoroughly pissed.

“What?”

“Can we talk?  For a moment?”  Hands sweating nervously, he stuffed them in his pockets as he waited.

She looked him over, a cold, calculating expression on her face.  “No.  I think you missed your chance.”  Then she spun on her heel, picking up her kid, his kid, and marched out of the restaurant as he watched, crestfallen.

“What the hell was that?” Martha asked, and it was only when she touched his elbow he shocked back to himself, the world around him finally coming into focus and surround sound.

“Erm, nothing.  Good night.”  He headed for the door, ignoring her calling his name as he reached the street, taking in deep gulps of the fresh air.  A glance to the left and right showed that Rose had disappeared from his life as surely as he had from hers.

“Doctor-” Martha’s voice behind him was a jolt to the system, and without further thought, he took off down the street.

Rose’s face, her voice, then and now, swam through his mind, boiling his blood and assaulting his senses until he damn near drowned in her.

He began to do what he did best, in the end.

Run.

[beautifulstuff617]

“In the days and the doing and the being”

A short phrase written in a poem by a wonderful friend. Words that have echoed in my head and heart like a thematic motif in the cinema we call life. Words like honey in the desert of a world that demands more and takes more and asks always...for more. Because the days and the doing and being are never quite enough for the culture in which we find ourselves. A culture in which a dreaded, looming, omnipresent question skulks in the corners, eager to twist the victories of yesterday into the anxieties of tomorrow. This question disguises itself in good intentions and projects apparent concern, making it all the more confusing and troubling when it leaves wounds you can’t quite explain. Its name is ordinary, mundane....expected, even.  Spoken amidst sentences with other innocuous words and phrases, it builds your confidence merely to remind you that your efforts--and most decidedly, you-- are still not quite enough.

“So...what’s new?”

And I’m not talking about when you say “what’s new?” as a stand in for “what’s up?” or “how are you?” I’m talking about those moments when you’ve just completed your masters and the only thing people want to ask you is “what will you even be able to do with THAT?” Or when you just finished a huge project and people immediately want you to tell them what the next project will be. When you get married and you get asked about kids, a house, a move.  This little question robs us of good and produces a persistent anxiety for more--not the good kind. It projects this expectation that we cannot truly be satisfied until we have achieved some hidden checklist of acceptable life goals thrust upon us by the society in which we live.  And don’t get me wrong, I am a very strong believer that our work is never finished when it comes to the state of hearts, our character, our pursuit to become more like Jesus--but these are not the things I am addressing. It is the constant pressure, the push, the “dream” for the visible successes; and how even when we reach these, there is always another step, another expectation, another NEW. And I’m a little tired of it (if you couldn’t tell.)

This question is tricky. It poses the idea that the daily movements and patterns of our lives--the smaller moments that define the bigger things-- simply are of no concern. It reduces our worth to our biggest accomplishments and subtly devalues the wild victories made in the every day. And believe me, they are...wild victories.

So tonight, I want to take a few moments to honor those victories. The unnoticed and rarely acknowledged battles won in the stunning tapestry of the ordinary. The severe and untold story of the breath-taking in between. I do not want to discredit the mountains of life, the highlight reels and supercuts, but if you are someone like me who often finds themselves attempting to live faithfully in the middle rather than the heights or depths, this is a gift for you. I see you. I see your wild victories.

I see you. You who lost somebody you loved  but still find a way to keep breathing. You who got your heart broken once, twice, fifteen times but you choose to give love anyway. I see you if you fight an addiction, where each day is a war and you know the war is coming again tomorrow, but still you stand. I see you when you study hard, when you sit with your family even though your family is a mess. You who walks with someone who can’t walk on their own. 

If you’re the person on the other end of the line in the middle of the night, if you’ve got a monster in the closet, if you struggle with anxiety and sometimes you beat it and sometimes you don’t...I see you. If you’re a mom, a dad, a wife, a husband, a son, a daughter, a sister, a brother, a friend a mentor, a pastor, a teacher and everyone has an opinion of how you can be a better one...I see you. If you stuck in your heels when you didn’t want to, if you stood up for someone, if you work to be kind in a world that is often unkind....these are the wild victories.

Maybe you didn’t do something new this week, this month, this year, this decade...but maybe you took one small step out of fear and no one knows it but you. Maybe you created something lovely. Maybe you realized you needed help and you got it. Maybe you gave something away that was hard to give away. Maybe you started to fix something that has been broken and it’s not healed yet, but it’s getting there. Maybe you’re...getting there.

Maybe you don’t have something new because you are just literally trying to survive. So if you are sick and started, stopped, or are in the midst of treatment...that is enough. If you are raising a kid in ANY sense of the word...that is enough. If you’ve got heavy things in your bag but are still walking...praying...reaching. If you are so tired but won’t go down easy. If you’re in a rough season of your marriage, if you lost your job and still haven’t found one yet, if you’re having financial trouble. If you’re trying to get pregnant and can’t. If you didn’t want to be pregnant but you are. If you’re the only caretaker left. If someone you love is sick. If you are miles from who you want to be but still know who you want to be...it’s okay. You don’t need a new thing. Keep walking. And if you can’t walk, keep praying. And if you can’t pray...keep reaching.

Yes. The new things are wonderful and we should celebrate them when they come, but I want to do better. I want to do better at acknowledging not only the big moves and bold changes, but the tiny steps and daily faithfulness. I want to cheer as loud for the person who decides to stay in the mess as I do for the person who leaves everything behind for a grand adventure. So here’s to you.

You who feels so alone but sits with someone who feels alone. And you..who put your heart out there and got rejected. You who fought so hard and lost. You who laughed with someone, cried with someone, made time for someone, forgave someone. You who showed up when no one else did. You who sent a letter just because. You who took a risk...who took a step before knowing the next one. I see you. I’m cheering for you. Keep going.

When I look at the people who’s stories are preserved in the gospel, they are the stories of ordinary people who gave what they had. A boy’s lunch. Some friends carrying their friend. Hurt people reaching out for help. Lost people learning things they needed to learn and hearing things they needed to hear. People eating together, walking together, growing together. Not every day was filled with the exciting and the remarkable...and that was okay, because the small things were filled with great love. (Mother Theresa)

And so, hear me tonight. If you cooked a meal, changed diapers, or tucked someone in.  If you volunteered. If you arrived earlier or stayed later than you had to. If you ran out of patience and still showed grace. If you aren’t doing exactly what you want to be doing, but are giving all of yourself anyway. If you gave someone a second, third, fourth or 20th chance. If you did something out of character only to find it was in character all along. If you had a hard conversation and didn’t run from the hard conversation. If you helped your mom, dad, aunt, or grandpa. If you mowed the lawn, cleaned the gutters or the tub, redid the bathroom, or let the in-laws stayed longer than you would have preferred. If you were open and honest. If you wanted to say something but knew it would be more harmful than helpful, so you didn’t.  If you are humble enough to know you are still learning...and are still willing to learn. If you’re still waiting for an answer to a prayer you keep praying. If you spoke when you were called to speak. If you got out of an unhealthy situation. If you protected someone or fought for someone. If you have done all you can do and still feel like you didn’t do enough, or that you aren’t enough...I see you. I hear you. And what you are and who you are is good. And even if those things don’t seem as significant as that NEW THING everyone keeps asking you about...they are. 

It is not only about who you are in the new things, but about who you are in the old, the repetitive, the tired, and the slow. In the days and the doing and the being. These are the windows to the wildest victories. These are the wildflowers of the soul.

Do not despise the day of small things or small beginnings.

“For in the days and the doing and the being...there is love.” -Terri Witmyer

[impivus]

very rushed very shit intro comin @ you all but here goes nothing ! i’m felix from the gmt tmz, i use he / him pronouns, and im gonna power nap any minute now because one thing you should know about me is that i’m eternally on the verge of passing out from minimum exertions during the day. this is my pain in the ass eunsu: not even going to sugar coat it - he’s the human personification of a headache dumpster fire all in one beefy package and i really don’t even blame your character if they just . ignore his presence because, me too !

under the cut there’s some information about him if you want to get to know more about him regardless. smash that mf heart if you want to plot.. and i will get to you ? sometime ? its an ambiguous promise but i keep them, discord is also an option so just ask if you’d prefer to plot on there. eun’s about is here but no plots as of yet because life is hard and We Cant all Have Everything 

aka im lazy 

* ☾ ✧ * º ━━ is that KIM JONGIN walking about ? nope ! that’s just EUN SU CHO. & i’ve been told that they work as a INFORMATION BROKER ! apparently, they are TWENTY FIVE ( 204 )  years old .  some people say they are a CISMALE, DEMON ! HE is very CULTIVATED & INTUATIVE but also DECIETFUL &  MENACING. i wonder if they are just as odd as the rest of us .  ⇢  SYNOPSIS. MBTI TYPE  /  entp, the debater ZODIAC SIGN  /  scorpio   ENNEAGRAM TYPE  /  7w8 KINSEY SCALE  /  3 MORAL ALIGNMENT /  chaotic evil / neutral HOGWARTS HOUSE / slytherin ⇢ AESTHETICS. 

goosebumps raised and feelings of growing dread, the dark corner of a room where light doesn’t reach, silver pocket - watches with dead batteries, the scratch of a record player needle, flares in the sky, bad ideas coming to life, half-assed clapping when it’s required, figures dancing within the shadows & a smile you shouldn’t trust . 

⇢ OVERVIEW

literally anybody: when are you free?  eun su: im forever imprisoned in my own personal hell so i am never truly "free" but i don't really have plans all next week except for monday

this is eun su, and will y’all believe me if i say he used to be a good egg before he turned into the rotten egg i’m presentin y’all with today ??  i kid u not.. bs free zone. he did once ..  have a hort  he was born to a cult of witches, his twin brother absorbing all the magic that was meant to be equally distributed between them in his mother’s womb, which pretty much left eunsu as the black sheep of the family. said cult had been living on a small, near enough desolated island for literal decades, entertaining themselves with magic, seeking out knowledge, observing the unassuming populace, and toying with other supernatural creatures who dared cross their paths. unfortunately for eunsu’s family, tragedy struck when one of his aunt’s tried to over throw the high priestess ( his mother ) in their coven. unyielding in her position and untouchable to the magic she was exposed to, her sister went about other ways to break the woman’s spirits, dabbling in black magic predominantly to achieve her goals. eunsu’s brother was, thus, cursed before he was even born with an incurable heart defect that would see him dead before he reached double figures. eunsu’s mother was broken not mourned over how much he missed out as on a child: but she mourned for the fact that he was the only child that harboured any magic in their veins, the only child that could’ve carried on their lineage.   queue entrance of eunsu and his Whats the Worst that Could Happen Attitude. being young and naive, thought he could’ve been able to solve it by himself, solve the issues and earn his mother’s lacking affections. eun had heard about dark vessels that could miraculously grant wishes through summonings. though he didn’t have magic in his veins he had a fire in his heart, and after all, demons cared not for who or what they fed from: so long as they appeased their hunger.  all it wanted in return was a good, pure soul, and that’s what the demon stole from him before it mended his twin brother’s heart, giving the boy a new lease of life that wasn’t intended for him from the start. pity that eunsu died before he got to the age of twenty, following a quick and hungry fever that overtook his frail body and too soon turned deadly. there was no surprise that, come judgement day, he was turned away at the gates of heaven, in exchange for becoming one of lucifer’s own.

as a result of being eternally cursed with immorality and a tainted soul, he's lived some hundred-odd years and is coping by making the current populace in jeonseoul suffer along with finding purpose in digging out the secrets of his past life, mayhaps trying to find the demon who cursed him.... which could definitely be a wc.. and strengthening his abilities as a demon.

his personality is a bit insufferable; eunsu keeps himself distant and cryptic, because he likes it that way. he's a real weirdo ( if u have ever watched hxh he’s hisoka.. THAT weird )  that's hard to forget: completely mischievous, dramatic, and malicious to boot. some days he's waxing poetic about the futility of having a sense of justice and the next he's using his demonic powers to make some innocent tourist think they're hallucinating as they attempt to walk into a steady flow of traffic. 

ultimately life's a game to him and bih.. he’s here to have fun ! he's outlived his actual family and friends ( well, aside from his brother who he barely remembers, prolly be a wc if anyone’s interested ) and he's not looking to get attached to anyone. it would be great to Die because it’s his forever Mood but he also gets furious if anyone tries to actually expel him for real - so he'll simply prod at the world and its people until he gets the reactions he wants.

fair warning: it is a pain to genuinely care about eunsu and not many people will wanna do it. he comes and goes into people's lives as he pleases, stops reaching out once he's bored and only ever grazes the surface of a relationship based on its worth or his curiosities, innocent ppl, cute ppl, etc are just gonna be eaten up by him then dropped. 

the people who will be closest to him are doubtlessly other demons ig ? but he also hates y’all too so.. don’t get too friendly like he’s not here to make friends he’s here to be Jeonseoul’s next top Demon. also since he died sumn like 200 years ago it’s possible some wizards / familiars knew of him and his coven, it’d be super interesting for someone to have known cute human eunsu in exchange for chaotic bastard demon eunsu 

⇢ MISCELLANEOUS

since he’s a young demon, his horns are small and his wings barely span about two inches above his shoulder bones, he got itty bitty bat wings lbr he’s kinda pissed abt it. there’s tattoos over his scars from clashing with other demons / hunters / angels, but his devil’s mark lining the back of his neck, performed by first demon who took his soul, has never faded away. 

he also works as an info broker, which ties in with the fact that he’s a contractual demon ! it's more of a hobby than a job, something he does for kicks and to restock his gambling money and alcohol money, but he offers a helping hand to solo clientele for private cases if need be, just remember to bring your negotiation skills because his manipulation skills are a1.

he's well-versed in witchcraft even if he can’t actually possess the abilities that actual witches can. while hardly the mentoring type, he could be convinced to equip people with his knowledge of latin, spells or dark magic they want if he's interested enough. then again he might decide to screw them over for kicks so ask him for favours with caution.

for someone who carries a ton of spite and secrets, he passes as an easygoing, casual literature major on the daily to disguise his true intentions. find him at the university pretending to be a student and failing miserably at it like edward’s thousand year old ass in twilight

he cheats at the casino with his demonic powers but does it infrequently enough to pass it as luck. play games with him at your own risk. casinos are one of his favourite places but he can really be found anywhere with ease but some other places he frequents are: beaches, libraries, museums, bars, etc !

he'll get on people's nerves, but getting him to care to the degree of hate is another story. living this long has numbed him; people don't surprise him anymore and he doesn't care to spend time thinking about others. the secret to getting him to turn deathly serious is as simple as telling him you can tell that he was once a good person - because the cheesy truth is he was. he just convinces himself that he's given up trying to remember his human life and finds it easier to live like he’s dead.. yknow which he is.

romance makes him queasy, he's a spiteful old bastard and the concept of sweet love rubs him 100% fictional. there's someone he fancied before he was cursed but i'll save you the story: that's a distant dream now.

he might quote romantic works or put some pretty words together but he's fake as Fuck. if he notices someone innocent and unsuspecting crushing on him they are in so much trouble. he'll kiss their hand then twirl them right off a cliff. corruption kink central right here laid ease

as of rn he’s trying to master how to teleport and shadow control but he really is like on level one and he’s got to get up to level 50 to achieve even a fifth of what these other demons can do 

edit: i totally forgot to include eunsu’s ‘demonic’ title after he was banished to the perils of hell. it’s ironically just saint, and he goes around using that bc it’s blasphemous and a big ole middle finger to god himself. nobody will know his real name, but if there’s an off chance that they do, that’s a massive threat to eunsu and he’ll get his Snipers on Scene

tl;dr: 

[ambiguityisnoonesfriend]

May the 4th 2018 Letter

Dear Yoda,

I am so excited! I love all the iterations of the characters and relationships I’ve requested, and can’t wait to see what you’ve created for me!

My likes: toppy women and partners who are turned on by toppy women, humor, angst, endings with hope intact, functional relationships, dysfunctional relationships, secret relationships that aren’t really a secret, canon divergence AUs such as what if they got there five minutes sooner, time loops, porn, gen, fluff, friends with benefits, friends with benefits with feelings, interactions with the other characters who would be around at the same time except as specified, mixing and matching prompts (ex: Leia and Hera both having different troubles raising Force-sensitive kids and complaining to each other, or Ahsoka/Sabine go on a double date with Ezra/Luke, or something completely different)

My specific art likes: two or three panel simple line comics, playing card or tarot card type imagery, setting a scene, magic and metaphor

My specific porn likes: failsex including interrupted during or instead of sex, cunnilingus, both slash and het anal (DNW femslash anal), light bondage, sex pollen, aliens make them do it, the Force makes them do it, mental connections during sex, mental connections as a substitute for sex, using the Force during sex including light Force choking, Force ghost sex, toys

My line for enjoying sex pollen/AMTDI/TFMTDI is based on how much trauma the characters feel -- I prefer situations where they aren’t traumatized or upset and use the aliens/Force/pollen as an excuse for what they both/all wanted.

I do not want: noncon (okay with dubcon and sex pollen), scat, watersports, omegaverse, unrequested ships except as listed elsewhere in my sign-up, non-canon AUs such as coffeeshops, DJ, Holdo, Lux

Rey/Kylo: I went into TLJ expecting to get nothing for this pairing except maybe one dream sequence. I came out loving them even more. I love this pairing for all the potential. They are opposites. They are exactly the same. Each is incredibly jealous of the other. They keep being drawn together like two ends of a stretched spring, and the only question is if they’ll fuck, fight to the death, or both. My fondest hope is both. I love all variations of dubcon for these two, from The Force Made Them Do It and Sex Pollen, to Forced To Work Together For Reasons. Force bond sex also very welcome!

Finn/Rey/Kylo: I see Rey as drawn to both of them in a classic triangle: Finn is the pull of the light, and Kylo is the allure of the dark, and Rey is fascinated by both. Maybe Finn is enough to bring both the Jedi to the light. Maybe Kylo seduces them both to the other side. Finn and Kylo carry a lot of baggage with each other. Do they set it aside at Rey’s request, or does it define how they both must deal with her and one another? Kylo defecting and having to be babysat by Rey and Finn! Rey is injured and Kylo and Finn have to have magic Force Sex to save her! Aliens make the three of them do it!

Leia & Ben: The pain and the angst and the love in this broken family is the gift that keeps on tearing my heart out and I love it. I love every piece of heartache, how they got there, what each one thought the other thought. Given all possible futures, what would the final fallout be between Leia and Kylo after TLJ?

Poe & Ben & Jacen: At some point, these three were dragged along to some Rebellion reunion where their parents had fun reminiscing about the old days and the kids were bored. Nothing starts out well when the first words you exchange with someone are "My mother said I have to be nice to you." Knowing that Ben grew up to be a human disaster, and Poe wasn't not a disaster, and Jacen is named after a different human disaster, all I am saying is that something got set on fire by the end of the party, certainly by accident, possibly by the Force. This or any other misadventure the three kids got into would be a wonder and a delight.

Kanan/Hera & Chopper, Hera & Chopper: It's strongly implied that Chopper was Hera's only friend before Kanan came along, and from the finale, it looks like he's the one friend who will never leave her. How did they grow together? How long did it take her to fix him up after she found him, and what kinds of trouble did the two of them get into along the way? What happened when she brought aboard an alcoholic drifter who is suddenly competing with Chopper for her attention? What did Kanan make of a foul-mouthed astromech who may or may not have tried to kill him a few times?

Luke/Leia: I was ready for this ship to be sunk in the movie. I was not expecting to walk out shipping it even harder. I want all the happy times before the family reveal. I want all the angsty history post-ROTJ. Luke Denying his feelings. Leia denying hers. The times denying those feelings failed. Maybe Han knows. Maybe Han joins in. Maybe he doesn't know and that's part of the angst. Pre-TFA snuggling. Post-TLJ Force Ghost snuggling. It's all good.

Ezra/Luke: I love the idea of Ezra and Luke meeting up after the original trilogy and finding someone who understands what it's like to be them. They've both been through things nobody else would understand. Maybe Luke is the one who ends up finding Ezra out in the UR, or Ezra finds his own way back and runs into / is drawn to Luke.

Ahsoka/Sabine, Ahsoka & Sabine: Space lesbians on a quest! Everyone knows the point of a quest story is the journey and the discovery of the characters' own true inner selves, right? I want to know about all their adventures together! Does Ahsoka teach Sabine more badass lightsaber moves? Do they pretend to be married on one planet for reasons? Does Sabine build an awesome Machine that causes them unforseen plot problems? Do they date each other? Do they date other women while being happy for each other? I am okay with any combination of this, and I am happy to see them as a couple, or as dating any other female characters or OFCs except not Sabine/Ursa or Sabine/Hera.

Leia & Hera & Sabine: Capers for the Rebellion! This mission happened. I don’t know if it happened before or after the Battle of Yavin, or even several years after Endor, but it happened. Maybe they have to rescue other team members. Maybe they have to go woo new allies, or pick up supplies from a picky source. Leia and Hera are going to disagree about who is in charge. Sabine’s loyalty on the topic may vary depending on who is annoying her more at that moment. Leia and Sabine may wind up with their very first hangovers, or at a later setting, maybe they’re remembering same. For background pairings, I’d prefer Leia with Han, Luke, or both, and Hera with Kanan. Sabine is my little black femslash dress; I don’t ship her with Hera or Ursa but anyone else is fair game.

Hevy & 99: I rewatched the Domino Squad arc recently and was overcome with clone feelings. It seems like Hevy had talked to and confided in 99 before. Did he see his brother as a mentor? 99 clearly held great affection for all the clones who passed through his life. In the microcosm of his friendship with Hevy, how did he see himself? You can bring in the other clones to the story, but I'd like the primary focus to be on these two. You could take this in a more romantic direction if you like, or keep it platonic and focus on the friendship they built.

Hera/Rex: I could see them forming a FWB arrangement sometime by Hoth. Hera doesn't want to get feelings involved ever again because she doesn't want another broken heart. That doesn't mean she won't get feelings anyway but they're not in her plan. Rex has admired her for years but there are chain of command issues, which could be why he's on the Endor strike team and not directly under her command circa RotJ. They both can have angst because of the dead guy in the room, real ghost or imagined. She can have angst out of wonder if this is the best thing for her heart or her child. He can have angst because he doesn't do relationships and his time is getting shorter by the minute and should he accept this little bit of happy? Maybe they end it after one time. Maybe they knock on each other's door every several months even after the war.

Rex & Luke: The moment Rex figures out who Luke is, he is going to be Luke's number one fountain of information on Anakin Skywalker. How do they both react? Luke kept the Vader thing secret for Leia's sake, but did he ever tell Rex?

Hera & Jacen: My one DNW with this relationship is no character death for either, otherwise I am here with the fluffiest of fluffy kid fics to the most heart-wrenching of angst. Hera playing with the new baby and feeling her heart lighten! Jacen's first flying lesson! Maybe he has the Force, maybe he doesn't, maybe he really does but Hera convinces Sabine and Zeb to lie with her and say he doesn't. Does she spend every day worrying at the going rate for the Black Sun's bounty on any known Force sensitive child? Does she tell him the Good Parts stories about the Ghost family in their heyday, and is he the one she was talking to in the trailer voice over? Does she have to keep his legion of uncles and aunts from spoiling him? Does she take him into space battles with her aboard the ship, knowing they could be blasted into dust? How does the conversation go with Cham when she tells him he's going to be a grandfather? Did he ever attend Jedi Death School and how did the two of them react when they found it how it ended?

Hera/Kanan: All of it and everything. Their first months working together. Missing scenes from the time of the show. That time they banged in Ezra's old comm tower while everyone else was busy during "Flight of the Defender." Those times they banged in the various rooms of the ship. Kanan figuring out this Force Ghost business after the fact the way Qui-Gon did, and hanging out to watch and guide. Were Zeb and Sabine their first attempt at building a crew, or were there others around before, and what happened? He's been smitten with her since the beginning, and she didn't say she loved him until the end, so how did they work around feelings, and not admitting to those feelings despite the fact that everyone around them knew? What was he about to tell her when Rukh attacked? Fix-its! Post-canon angst! Comedy capers where they're just hanging out having fun!