#and a lot of complaints im seeing past the initial ones is like

[poorlittlevampire]

i keep seeing people say the event sucks and it’s boring and feels like a chore to complete the goals but like. the goals are just the regular gameplay????? its making outfits and sending likes and visiting showrooms like... if that’s boring to u then i don’t think u like the game as much as you claim to. the event is not boring to me bc i am having fun doing the goals since thats what i’d be doing in game regardless. and the rewards are really good!!! idk i just think people are being so negative abt the game across the board and it’s getting really annoying 😭😭😭

okay fashion dreamer event suspended for technical difficulties but can i take a min to complain...

[fadetouchedsilk]

like I get the feeling the need to defend veilguard as an initial response. There’s a decent crowd of ‘critics’ who are up in arms because of Gay People In Their Videogame (which kills any other valid complaints they might have had imo)

But also I think a lot of us are just. Really disappointed that the thing we Waited 10 years for isn’t even coming close to living up to what we were told to expect? Even I knew that this game probably wouldn’t be great—tbh I didn’t go in with any expectations really—but I didn’t expect to feel so deflated by what we got either. The fact that there’s so much untouched potential mixed with what we know to be irl production problems makes it a harder pill to swallow. I think I was hoping this would be another DA2 situation, where you could see there were obvious cut corners but the story that we got was compelling enough to have lasting power & we were still able to dig our fingers into the lore. Hell, people are still talking about that game to this day in some circles. What does that tell you?

We knew this game would be flawed and have some misses (they always do) but I don’t think any of us could have anticipated how gutted the actual end product would have been. People are upset because we’re not dumb. We know budget cuts & layoffs happened. Just say the resources weren’t there and you had to prioritize. Just say certain things were left behind to meet a deadline. As frustrating as that is, it’s an infinitely more preferable explanation than acting like we’re all too stupid to pick up on any of this happening.

You’re not a bad person if you had fun or enjoyed elements of the game. I did & so did a lot of other people who are being vocally critical. I probably Will end up finding aspects I feel like giving watsonian explanations for in my own canon like I have in the past. But I also cant just ignore the problems & im not alone. It’s not ‘fake da fans’ who are mad from what I’ve seen. It’s the opposite! It sucks to see something you love decline. There’s a recurring theme of grief I keep picking up on in so many of these critical posts. Of course no one actually assumed our personal headcanons would become canon, but there was a certain standard of continuity that I think was silently expected to be present & it wasn’t there.

I’m not even sure what the point of this post is tbh. So many of us wanted to like this game so, so badly. We wanted the next part of a franchise that’s been important to us to be able to stand up with its predecessors. And for a lot of us it didn’t manage to hit that mark, no matter how much we genuinely wanted it to.

Idk. As much as I can come off as pretty flippant and irate about this whole thing, in truth it’s just something that leaves me feeling sad in a really quiet, deep sort of way.

[lorillee]

ok yakuza 4 thoughts time............ as always it's gonna be egregiously unorganized and mostly sorted by things i remember first

ok well for starters the ost was reallyyyyyyyyyyyyy good this game. Like not to say it was bad for the others but some of the tracks really stood out really quite enjoyed. if im honest

the plot i think was a lot more tightly woven this time which i really really liked - like because youd think with four different protagonists the level of convolution and largely pointless rug pulling ive grown accustomed to at this point would worsen but in actuality it. seriously improved. Like a whole lot

like at this point im convinced the biggest struggle with past few plots is that the writers are given a length for the storyline they need to meet but the actual plot does not have the bandwidth to sustain a story that long, so they stretch it out by introducing a whole lot of loose strands and "omg THIS was the mastermind behind it all.... no actually it was THAT GUY............ But Wait: There's More" types of events.

that being said by having to split the plot amongst four different guys they didnt have to stretch things out because . well when youre dealing with four concurrent storylines it stretches out quite naturally on its own

as always there were some things i wish had gotten a little more time to get fleshed out - daigos entire situation definitely couldve benefited from some more screentime i think in both clarifying what was going on and fleshing out why he felt the need to take such drastic measures. but daigo usually gets the short end of the stick so its not particularly new but still disappointing. to all the people who want a daigo gaiden. i understand you. i agree even. hope sega gets on that sometime

well we'll just go about this in a somewhat orderly fashion i guess. first off we're gonna talk about tanimura Mostly because i dont have that much to say on him

hes like. Ok i guess. one thing that pissed me off kind of was how everybody was like omg....... Hes like the one true honest cop............................. <- When like the first thing we learn about him is that he runs around exploiting criminals for money so that he wont report them. And also beating people up who tell on him to his boss. like i guess in comparison to the crap everybody else in this department is pulling its pretty small potatoes but like also Well i wouldnt go as far as to say hes a particualrly upstanding member of society

but whatever. his plot was pretty solid though i dont really have many complaints. the buildup slotted nicely into everybody else's ongoing storylines, his final boss made sense for his character arc and was someone he had a tangible and relevant connection to, both in-story and like narratively speaking

i dont hate him as much as i did when he was first introduced but id be fine if we never saw him again. That being said i know we do but like again im not particularly disappointed by that fact. currently my opinion on him is Deeply Neutral.

sooooooooooo lets talk about some guy who my opinion on is NOT Deeply Neutral!

its kind of insanely funny they dont even attempt to explain where akiyama gets his money from after the initial millennium tower explosion incident and im deeply obsessed with it. i hope they never change this.

akiyama is like. an egregiously fun character i actually quite like him. honestly i think in another universe where majima didnt exist he very well mightve ended up as my favorite character. his relationship with hana is also insanely funny and i really hope we get to see more of them in the next game

that being said his relationship with yasuko is like deeply underdeveloped and does not particularly compel me at all. as is the case with most of these sorts of things they throw the romance in there with the expectation that the audience will just go "Oh theyre in love. Woaw!" <- and then automatically be invested. But like sorry i kindaaaaaaaa dgaf. they will literally never make another majimako honestly if/when i replay y0 after getting thru the rest of the games in this series i very well may end up making a long and detailed post about why i think their relationship works and why the other pairings this series keeps dumping on me do not compel me even in the slightest. But this is a post for a later time.

i do wish they had done more in terms of giving him and arai more of like a reason to fight at the end. like because obviously its important that yasuko plays a siginficant role in his plot because she and saejima and their relationship is a major part of the centerpiece holding this game together so of course you cant cut her relevancy out of akiyama's storyline, but the romance was insanely weak and Okay because this is the issue. maybe this is just a me thing but i frankly wouldve found the relationship to be a lot more compelling if there were no romantic feelings involved.

like in the sense that i feel like their connection is stronger if akiyama doesnt really have anything to get out of it i guess? im trying to figure out how to word this idrk. of course also the romance was so borderline irrelevant its not like cutting it makes a difference time wise i just think it shouldve happened. LOL

anywyas back on track i wish they had done more with arai and akiyama's relationship even if it was just making them more like foils or something. feel like we couldve put a little more effort into that. Or alternatively made his opponent kido because that is a relationship we spent a lot more time developing on screen

aaaaaand of course what would a yakuza game be without kiryu. honestly though he's more incidentally relevant to the plot than a particularly relevant driving factor - his storyline is mostly just used to tie together everybody else's so theres not too much to say

Again this kind of goes back to the daigo issue - i wish they had spent a bit of kiryu's storyline on doing something with that bc i feel like it wouldve made both of them. feel more relevant LOL

like we dont really feel the tojo clan struggling as badly as daigo clearly seems to think it is and i think it kind of does a disservice to making his stake in this feel . well again actually relevant. which again is kind of a shame

i also said it during the liveblog but im actually like still obsessed with haruka literally not caring even the slightest bit about whatever was going on with the file and the millennium tower melodrama because she just wants kiryu to stay away from the tojo because every time he goes back to deal with some issue he literally always almost dies. crazy about it even

okieeeeeeeeeeee Lets Discuss: The Saejimas

i know i already made that joke about it in the liveblog but genuinely insanely funny to make saejima and majima worlds worst hitmen. like jaw droppingly funny You guys are so bad at this. truly brothers in arms

and on a more serious note im actually like. well honestly im crazy person insane about them making YASUKO be the one with an actual on screen bodycount because like. ok we've gone thru these games together and also presumably have watched at least a few of the same things if youre here. They dont like letting women kill and especially not in a setting as male-dominated as the literal yakuza

like because theres the ever present underlying kind of idea that women dont really belong in organized crime because theyre inherently purer or whatever and its like treated as a woman playing around in a man's world which she doesnt really understand and certainly doesnt belong in. like basically whatever was going on with sayama

HOWEVER. to have the reveal that saejima's (whose entire like reputation and legend is founded on the hit) hands are actually clean and YASUKO is the one whos personally offed multiple guys........... CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZYYYY?!??!?!!? IM CRAZY ABOUT IT?!?!?!?!?! AND HOW WE GET TO SEE HER PERSONALLY KILL THAT GUY ON SCREEN AFTER SAEJIMA REFUSES...... HELLOOOOOOOOOO!?!!??!?!!!!?!?!? BOOOOOOOOOONKERS. IM OBSESSED . THANK YOU?!??!?!!?! THAAAAAAANK YOUUUUUUU

additionally i love her insane codependent relationship with saejima and it like actively kills me we didnt get to see them interact more on screen. LIKE HELLO??????????????????? sooooooooooooooooooooooo so good. additionally i also insanely appreciate how deeply irrelevant her romance subplot with akiyama was at the end of her story <- I will never forget whatever was going on at the end of kiwami 2.Ever

this all being said lowkey i do wish they had pushed her death to the climax of the story id have to actually sit down and think about how to work that but i feel like it wouldnt be that hard. like i understand why they set it up the way it did but i feel like because she dies before the climax it makes the climax itself feel a little disjointed i guess. i dont know

and you already KNOWWWWWWWWWWW i mean ok if u scrolled through my liveblog even alittle bit u already know saejima and majimas relationship and interactions made me start seeing devils. additionally while i know that he's not a main character in this story and as a result they needed to put him into prison so that he would stay out of the final battle lowkey pisses me off he didnt even get to go to the little mini memorial they had for yasuko. but whatever (kicks rocks

^like i understand why plot-wise this could not have happened. But like well i would have liked . to see it

anwyays i think thats all for now? I dont know maybe ill have something else to say later but in conclusion definitely my favorite yakuza game so far after 0. i i think for me the ranking currently stands y0 <- y5 <- k1 <- y3 <- k2(Not including majima storyline)

^problem with ranking k2 is that i love the majima story so much it makes me want to start attacking people in the streets But also like i cant in good faith rank it on its own. but this is neither here nor there

[colourful-void]

I have finished Virtue's Last Reward!

what was that.

-

alright thoughts, here we go!

Im glad the time paradox thing was addressed, to my understanding it's like. the two branches diverge no matter what, but instead of living through the Good Branch, we're here on the Bad Branch. it's not going to cease to exist if Phi and Sigma and kyle??? can change the past, we're just fucked.

I'm with Tenmyouji! Junpei is never wrong I agree with him always. That is not the Akane Kurashiki i once knew. She is long gone. (spike chunsoft please bring her back)

This ending is so much more of a downer than the last one. I'm a little bummed out actually. Like I know Akane's telling me its up to me to save the world and everything but like. It's a narrative video game fuck the world man I want my little guys to be happy. 999 was weird as shit and has like. a higher active body body count (3 characters in game die no matter what as opposed to vlr's 0, but 7 billion if u count. the earth.), but despite all that? the ending feels hopeful. and then really weird because alice being there was such a jarring shift but like ignoring alice?? very good.

Actually, Akane talking to Kyle felt more like she was talking to me, Void, more than any other interaction in this entire game. "You want to know what happens between Dec24 and new years eve? then you have to go back. you have to do it." It's like a threat. What the hell akane. I do want to know. you're going to make me play another game but ur fucking right i do wanna know.

I'm glad that Tenmyouji and Quark will stay together. I love you Quark. I love you tenmyouji.

Seriously Phi explains jackshit.

Game thoughts as a whole! Uhh a little mixed? mixed! there's more I like than I dislike, but my thoughts are kind of. muddled a bit

A lot of things were frustrating (mainly puzzles) but a lot of things were really exciting (mainly story).

some puzzles were really exciting and fun (the whole archives, the lounge, the final cube puzzle, the pec door puzzles, the rec room) and some were really annoying (darts, most of the pantry, anything with a lot of math and cross referencing really). ((some of this is because im bad at puzzles!!)

Most of the story was really fun (All of Quark and Tenmyouji really, Luna's backstory, Dio's backstory i still hate him but its good, K's initial backstory just from his ending, going through the different endings and combinbing knowlege from em,) Some of it was really annoying (Sigma being gross to the girls, the weird radical 6 based contradictions, a significant portion of the ending though i dont feel fair making a full judgement on it because half of it still makes no sense to me and im not sure how much of this is sequel bait, the general sudden downer shift of it all)

menuing and q-o-l wise: i did get used to the sprites and menuing, though part of that comes from a shift to displaying it on my tv (the display darkens and softens it out a bit so its nicer,) and getting a controller (item tabbing!!!) though i never really ended up using the ingame notes past the first room. instead i took paper ntoes and my journal is a mess for it. i do have a very important complaint to raise re game display:

THE FUCKING MAP SECTIONS TAKE WAY TOO LONG!!!! unless you're already fastforwarding, it's really slow and there's no way to skip it! I know where the lounge is by now this is my 7th run but no i've gotta watch the little dot move all the way from the b floor warehouse and it's just really annoying. why was there not an option to just skip it. goddamn.

In review: im not sure what to think about vlr yet? It's definitely left me much more conflicted than 999, and I probably like 999 more overall. The twists in vlr were really fun and unexpected (favourites are the inital betrayal from alice turning into an ally, seeing k's mask come off, tenmyouji's picture of akane, the first time more stuff was added to the flowchart like that, seeing the moon and everything.) and there were a lot more of them, but i think the ones in 999 hit me harder, while there were fewer. (Learning akane was who died, learning ace's identity, when the dialouge switches to first person).

But i;ll be fair, I was probably always going to be biased towards 999? it's aesthetics are more my taste and while this sounds weird it's... a lot more down to earth than vlr? Vlr is really high concept and i feel like if I spend some time with it or look at stuff AROUND it i'll grow into it. but it's a lot more than i usually. swallow at once. im a weak man okay my brain can't handle it.

Vlr's ending much like it's beginning is gonna be one of those things i thing where at first im like 'fuck this' and then over time im going to really love it. I'm already liking it a lot more than I did like. 15 hours ago.

Will I play Zero Time Dilemma?

Well im curious where the story goes, but I'm also wondering like. Yes? Play it? or is like a 'play the first two and pretend zero time dilemma never happened' situation. my only interaction with the fandom of zero escape is whatever you all send me, and a meme of akane my brother once found.

Here's the part where I was gonna say that video games are expensive and I'd see based on ppl's reccomendations and pricing and how much I'd need to save whether and when i'd get it but like. i forgot steam summer sale is on and it's like. 9 dollars right now so I'll probably get it anyway.

still curious though, other people's opinions, please weigh in! do you think I'm being too harsh to vlr? is there something I haven't considered? do you need to play ZTD to really give VLR a fair shot? what are your favourite parts of vlr? did i completely fail to read something important in the game and its fucking my perception. should i go back and play those two endings that fuck over quark i avoided?

let me know!!

[broken-clover]

now that im done with my live blog...you mentioned some ideas i gave you? care to share? :D And how was the rewatch for you in general? Anything that really sticks out for you in hindsight?

I really appreciate doing this rewatch, both because it was tons of fun, and because I think it helped loosen my writer's block! I ended up with a few concepts along the way, a couple I already scrapped because they were too rough or just wouldn't have been as interesting as I initially hoped, but there are a couple I'd at least like to try and flesh out proper

-Post-canon with the baby angels, with a mix of cute baby mischief and the angels reflecting on the past/their optimism for doing things better the second time around

-How the spirits originally ended up in the angels' possession, it was mentioned that the warriors 'disappeared' but also that the spirits were specifically given (this one is probably gonna get a little angsty and sad)

-Post-canon with the kids trying to re-adapt after being stuck in fight-or-flight for several months (this one is the most tenuous on whether or now I'll end up writing it, because it definitely would be pretty angsty and I don't know if that would be too much)

-Group hug fic. I don't care if it makes sense that it didn't happen in canon, or that I technically already did that with Acclimation, I'm giving Koichi a fucking hug

One of the really fun parts of going back to watch something again when you're older is that I've got a lot more knowledge and experience to analyze it critically. And I don't just mean spending the whole time going 'oh this sucks' because yes yes we all know the power scaling is stupid and parts of it were lowkey misogynistic and the pacing can be rough in spots, I mean it's fun to look at stuff on a technical level and in terms of its individual aspects.

For example, partly due to the dub changes and partly due to just being a dumb little kid, I hadn't realized there was a persistent theme of religion/mythology across the whole thing, and it was neat to notice! Considering that the Digital World's past and the mythos that sprung up around it and the legendary warriors themselves are a massive part of this world's backdrop, and the fact that the ultimate villain is based on Lucifer, the idea that a tyrannical fallen angel gets defeated by a group based on all different kinds of gods and creatures from all over the world is really very cool! I still maintain this series has one of the best portrayals of the Digital World

I'm not gonna say too much about the acting, mainly because I feel like having any serious complaints would be silly, I mean it was 2001 and I think anime in the US still had to have been a more niche thing, and even then I still hold a huge soft spot for early 2000's dubbing. Some of the things like dub-added accents were so gloriously stupid that I can't help still liking it. It still feels a little weird that EmperorGreymon was the only one with a sudden shift, but I can fully respect Reisz's concern about damaging his voice, gotta know your limits. (Apparently Wittenberg fully took over Takuya's part for the film, I'm gonna have to go back and see if it's obvious enough to notice. Also, fun fact that I would not have realized if I hadn't stumbled upon it, he voiced literally all of the Trailmon. Helluva range!)

(Also still a little surprised at Crispin Freeman's range, mainly because the others didn't seem to have as drastic a change between forms, but I love it! My only complaint in that looking up more of his voicework, the rougher voice seems to be the one he uses more often, and if I had to pick between the two I really do prefer the softer voice. Yes that's biased because I had a crush as a kid, and I'm not apologizing)

I think the pacing is still better than people tend to give it credit for, I could see the Knights arc being a couple of episode shorter, but I still stand by my belief that it really was good and did a good job in doing callbacks and hammering it home that yes, the literal world is being deleted in chunks and that is terrifying. If anything, I felt the only real part that was an 'oh god hurry the fuck up already' drag was getting to the castle and fighting Cherubimon, but at least that was just a couple of episodes and it gave us not-Christopher Walken.

Overall? Yep, I'm reaffirming my position as a Frontier apologist. Is it fine art? No, but who the fuck expects a shonen series to be fine art?? Sometimes you just need a ragtag group of kids making friends and saving the world, with plenty of fun stupid hijinks in between.

[vs-redemption]

Hi, its me! Im sorry for bothering you! How would Bakugou, Aizawa, and Iida react if some random kid, who had their eyes but different hair, who looks homeless and IS homeless, knockef on their door and said 'hey, do you know *insert womans name*? Youre my dad apparently' and it turns iut it was a woman they had a flimg with, who left them, and went on to abusr their kid? Like severely? Its just me projecting lol. Im so sorry have a great day!

A/N: I noticed that @madkaleidoscope got almost the same request while going through the my hero tags, so please check out their post HERE for another take on the same idea.

A Surprise Meeting (Bakugo, Iida, and Aizawa meet their abused child)

You can read the same scenario for Todoroki and Dabi HERE You can read the same scenario for Hawks, Fatgum, and Shigaraki Here

Warning:⚠️Mentions of child abuse and homelessness. Also, swearing for Bakugo!⚠️

Bakugo

“What the hell do you mean they were offended?” Bakugo growls at his manager through the phone propped up on his shoulder as he aggressively chops up vegetables for the stew he was making. “Instead of being grateful that I saved their asses, they decided to file a complaint against me huh?”

The underpaid person on the other end launches into an explanation about why a top ranked pro hero should avoid yelling out expletives while fighting villains in front of a crowd of civilians. Apparently it wasn’t an appropriate way to behave in front of impressionable children and elderly folks. Bakugo rolled his eyes as he continued cooking. He’d heard this spiel a hundred times before. He’d honestly worked hard over the years to improve the way he directly interacted with the innocent people he fought to protect every day, but he couldn’t help but get a little overzealous in the moment when taking down bad guys.

Bakugo clicked his tongue in annoyance when his doorbell suddenly rang. He wiped his hands off on a towel before going to tell off whoever it was that was interrupting his very limited free time. It was bad enough he was already getting an earful from his manger while he was trying to relax. He ripped open the door and felt a hint of surprise when he had to lower his angry red eyes to find the unexpected visitor. It was a little girl.

“What the hell?” Bakugo leaned out of the doorway a bit to look for an adult that might be accompanying the child but she seemed to be all alone. His manager paused their lecture to ask if he was all right. “Yeah, but I’m going to have to call you back,” Bakugo hangs up the phone and looks back at the little girl who was glaring up at him with familiar red eyes. Her long dark hair was dirty and matted. She had scrapes and bruises all over her arms and face.

“Do you need help or something?” Bakugo asks awkwardly as he tries to slip into his comforting hero voice. “Where are your parents?”

“Mommy left and didn’t come back,” the little girl scowls and crosses her arms. She then tells Bakugo her mother’s name, causing the man to freeze up in shock at the implication. “She said you were my daddy.” Bakugo just stands speechless for a few moments as his brain tries to catch up with what he’d just heard. He knew the girl’s mom, but he hadn’t seen her in about four years. They’d had a bit of a summer romance right at the beginning of his hero career before she’d suddenly disappeared, never to be heard from again.

Bakugo lets his eyes scan over the little girl once more. He couldn’t deny she had his eyes and his scowl. He felt irritated that his summer fling hadn’t even had the decency to tell him she’d gotten pregnant. He squats down to look more closely at the dirt and injuries all over the girl’s body.

“Who did this to you?” he asks, trying to keep the gruffness from his voice. Some emotion cracks through the little girl’s false bravado then and she looks down at her bare feet shyly.

“Mommy…” she whispers. Bakugo takes a deep breath to calm the rage that boiled up inside him and offers a hand to the little girl.

“Mommy left me too,” he confesses. “But she’s not going to hurt either of us ever again, okay?” The little girl looks up at her dad, a tentative hope blossoming in her eyes. Bakugo knew this was going to impact his life in a huge way, but at the moment he only cared about getting to know his daughter and making up for lost time. “Are you hungry?” The little girl nods her head eagerly and he leads her into his apartment. He would get her cleaned up and fed before getting started on all the legal stuff he’d undoubtedly have to endure before she could really be his daughter completely. His mind was already coming up with ways to fit parenting into his work schedule though, and he found himself looking forward to spending as much time with his little girl as possible.

Iida

Iida assumed he was going to have another normal morning as he sat at his desk, looking over his patrol route for the day. He’d taken over his family’s hero agency not too long ago, but he was already used to the daily routine. All the experiences he’d lived through during high school, not to mention growing up in a family of heroes, had prepared him for most scenarios he would encounter as a pro. He had no reason to suspect that anything out of the ordinary would happen, even as he heard the knock on his office door.

“Come in,” he calls out while standing up to start putting on his hero costume. The door blasts open and a young girl runs into the room.

“Daddy!” she shouts as she runs right up to him and throws her arms around his waist. Iida looks down at the girl in shock before glancing towards the door where one of his sidekicks stood looking as confused as he felt.

“Sorry for the intrusion,” the sidekick says a bit awkwardly. “One of the interns found her wandering outside. She was asking people to help her find you, her dad.”

Iida wanted to deny the claim immediately. He would definitely know if he had a child, especially one who looked to be around eight years old. The idea became a lot less preposterous as he looked back down at the girl. Her hair color was as white as snow, a complete contrast to his dark blue. The thing that gave him pause were the two legs sticking out from under the dirty skirt the girl was wearing. Her legs looked skinny, too skinny, aside from her calves which had tiny exhaust pipes sticking out of them. The girl looks up at him after a moment to meet his gaze. His breathe catches in his throat at her blue eyes and checkmark shaped eyebrows that were iconic to the Iida family.

“Uh, thank you,” Iida felt flustered as he looks back at his sidekick who was blatantly starting at him in shock. “I’ll handle this from here. Do you mind asking someone to take over my patrol?” The sidekick accepts the job and hurries off, leaving Iida alone with the girl. Part of him felt really embarrassed that this had happened in front of his coworkers. He couldn’t imagine what they must think of him now. He definitely didn’t seem like the type to be involved with something that could be perceived as scandalous.

“What is your mother’s name?” Iida asks, even though he was sure he already knew. The list of possibilities was very small. The little girl goes up on her tiptoes and Iida bends down to meet her so she can whisper in his ear. He sighs heavily at the name that falls from her lips. It was just further confirmation that this wasn’t some crazy misunderstanding. The information settles into his mind. He was a father.

“Please don’t make me go back to her though,” the girl’s eyes brim with tears as she searches Iida’s face for comfort. “She’s scary.” Iida understood how the girl felt. If given the option, he would choose never to see that woman again either. She had only dated him for a brief time, pretending to be in love with him in order to take advantage of his fame until she found someone higher up in the ranks to seduce. He had been so shocked and heart broken when she’d left him so suddenly, but now there was no way to hide from that mistake of his past.

“Why do you say she’s scary?” Iida asks while putting a hand on the girl’s shoulder. She winces and flinches away from his touch. He narrows his eyes in concern and asks her to roll up her sleeves. His heart fills with sadness at the welts marring her frail arms. “I see,” he frowns. “I promise you won’t have to see her again if you don’t want to, but can you tell me where she lives?”

“I don’t know. We always have to sleep outside,” the girl explains warily, painting a rather sad image of her life.

“Well that just won’t do,” he pats her on the head. “I’m going to make sure you have a comfy, warm bed to sleep in from now on.” The girl’s face lights up happily and she hugs Iida even tighter. The shame he’d felt initially was gone now, replaced by a determination to provide his daughter with the best life possible.

Aizawa

Between all his hero work and being a full time teacher, Aizawa’s opportunities to simply sleep for a couple consecutive hours were few and far between. He took any chance he could to just shut his eyes and rest for a while. Tonight he’d hoped to get a decent amount of sleep in before having to wake up at the crack of dawn to attend a UA staff meeting. However, it seemed fate had other plans for him.

It was around one in the morning when a knock on his front door pulled him from the depths of his much needed slumber. He rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes as he rolled out of bed, not even having the energy to be annoyed. “Who is it?” He asks while putting on his slippers and shuffling over to the door. There was no answer, so he pressed his face up to the peep hole. He let out a groan when he saw a random kid standing outside. If this was some kind of prank, he wasn’t sure he had the strength of mind to deal with it at this hour. He already put up with a whole class of teenagers every day who drained him of every drop of patience he had.

“Can I help you?” Aizawa mumbles after opening the door. The young boy in front of him looked to be about thirteen years old. The ends of his dark burgundy hair were frayed and had been cut sloppily as if he’d done it himself. He had outgrown his clothes a while ago, and they appeared uncomfortably small on his skinny frame. The poor kid looked extremely dirty and smelled even worse.

“Do you know this woman?” the haggard boy holds out an old photograph of a person Aizawa recognized immediately. It had been a very long time, but he’d never forget the face of the first woman he’d ever been with. He’d been so young and naïve at the time, and he still felt bitter toward the friend who’d set him up with a woman with such an atrocious personality. Aizawa knew right then and there that he wasn’t going to be getting back to sleep anytime soon.

“This is my mother,” the boy states the obvious fact. “And apparently you’re my dad.” Aizawa had no reason not to believe him as he looked into the boy’s tired eyes that matched his own. It was clear that life had not been kind to the kid so far.

“Come on in,” Aizawa invites his son inside, deciding to wait to involve the proper authorities until morning. “You can take a hot shower, and I think I have some leftovers we can heat up.”

“A shower?” the boy looked overwhelmed, as if the promise of a shower was more than he’d ever dared to hope for. Aizawa was growing more concerned with each passing second.

“Where is your mother now?” He asks and the boy shrugs.

“I haven’t seen her in a couple weeks,” he states as if that were normal. “I think she met some new guy.” That was enough to put Aizawa’s teeth on edge.

“Where have you been staying then?” he asks.

“Wherever I can,” the boy replies, sounding embarrassed. “Park benches, bus stops, train stations…” Aizawa was horrified. What kind of person left their child to survive in those conditions? Why hadn’t she ever reached out to him for help?

“What are these?” Aizawa reaches out to snatch up the boys arm. Now that he was inside where the lighting was better, he could see strange scars and scabs covering his skin.

“Cigarette burns,” the boy pulls his arm away and averts his eyes. “Mom thought it would make people more willing to help when I had to beg for money.” Aizawa felt his eyes fill with tears at the words, and he doesn’t think twice before pulling his son into his arms. The boy returns the embrace, clinging to Aizawa as if he feared the man might disappear if he didn’t hold on tight enough.

“What’s going to happen now?” the boy asks fearfully after he calms down a bit.

“You’re more than welcome to stay with me,” Aizawa finds himself accepting the role of father rather quickly. He was already responsible for so many kids already, he didn’t see the harm in adding one more to the list. “If that’s something you’re comfortable with.”

“Yes, please!” The boy nods his head, looking ecstatic as he wiped away his tears. Aizawa nods his head and pats his son on the shoulder.

“Well then kid,” he says with a small smile. “Welcome home.”

------

Aizawa Tag List:  @clovertitan  @raine-needs-help @lucacangettathisass @lea2107-foxsin @tiaraowens

[tomas-adriah]

i am once again thinking about post time skip haikyuu and how the series ended. i think so much of the series was how hinata overcome a lot of his insecurities in regards to volleyball; the passion and tackling burn out in regards to the sport as well as stating how volleyball can be “fun.” the ending of haikyuu, especially , beach volleyball, and post time skip is what got me into haikyuu. and yes. this meant i only had picked up the series very recently, at 2020-2021.

for reasons i can elaborate more later on: i didnt pick up haikyuu when it first published in 2012 because i had quit volleyball by then. i wanted nothing to do with the sport and i was eager to find myself outside of the sport and other passions i had always wanted to pick uo but couldn‘t because of volleyball. and yes this meant that i had avoided the sport for almost a decade.

ok maybe not completely avoided. i enjoy watching beach volleyball by the time rio olympics had rolled around the corner...and this is mostly since when i played indoor, we would play beach volleyball as thats a great way of learning what my coach, team, and i would consider “real volleyball.“ see where im going with this? the beach volleyball arc had me picking up haikyuu as a series…and eventually had me backtracking and reading kamomedai and a portion of the beginning of the series.

which leads me to a couple of things:

- i have a different perspective from one who had followed the series. (we all do, but considering that i have a past with volleyball where i avoided it for the duration of the manga’s serialization, and only really read the last few arcs of the series, i have a different approach towards the series and why i thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the ending).

- and yes i thoroughly enjoyed the ending of the series. it not only got me picking up the sport and actually…dare i say it…go back to indoors matches im…SHIT thats scary lol especially after a fucking decade of absolutely not wanting to…but i also got me loving the series ending from a literature/writing perspective? and its so fuckinf wild since i had always associated writing/reading and volleyball/sports SEPARATELY.

- so my mind is a bit jumbled. like i can understand people’s dislike of the kamomedai match as well as the mix reaction to post time skip. so lets address some of this:

POST TIME SKIP, SKIPPING OVER ARCS, AND SOME GAPS IN THE LITERATURE

ugh i seriously need to stop reading science research papers as i cant believe im using the term “gaps in the literature“ but please bear with me T^T

one of the main complaints of post time skip is the fact that furudate skipped over possible rematches (ie: inarizaki v karasuno, etc.), didnt go into detail of some character’s arcs (yamaguchi captain or ennoshita captain had me robbed ok i feel that 😭), or the overall journey and content of out fav first years and their eventual destination as third years going further into finals.

and as much as i would love to see that and wouldnt mind reading that in a light novel (so if furudate youre seeing this and willing to revisit haikyuu, i’d love to and will totally support), i just never thought theyd go over this part of their journeys? like even when i had initially heard of the manga at 2012, i didnt really think about whether they made it to finals. i didnt think about winning. i thought about their play style and dynamics. then i saw that their focus was more attack-oriented and lost interest.

because being attack-oriented isnt as fun as one would originally think, since rallies are what makes volleyball really fun.

in other words, i thought about how this series would make that come alive. how can this series emulate that sense of fun?

and ive thinking so much about how the last arcs really connects with that of the beginning, with some caveat. at the beginning obviously there was some conflict w hinata and his middle blocker position, his dynamic w a genius setter, his height - as it all are barriers to him fully enjoying volleyball. and initially it had been wanting to be an ace and winning games as his solution. but then…hinata grew as a character. and not only hinata, but those around him were very much affected by hinata’s journey with volleyball. and so, by the time we got to the later half of the series (karasuno v nekoma, kamomedai v karasuno), we get to see furudate’s message about passion, burn out, and having fun playing volleyball. having that passion for volleyball and choosing to play it, to make a living out of it, is eventually what makes a monster. i would even argue that those who see volleyball and inspire others to show that volleyball is fun, is also a monster…

this is a really long winded rant/observation thats not quite fully formed into coherency or completion, but i just needed to get this OUT and im tired of losing all my drafts and loose paper of these thought process so instead in publishing this impulsively lol.

will probs finish this later on or add more to it later…

[thespianbooks]

A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 19//

Masterlist

(tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red, @sleeping-and-books, @lucieisabooknerd, @amandaraey-sunshine, @easy-p-lemon, @azymondias05, @dagypsygirl, @makeshift-utopia) *bold tags don’t work ;-;

A little late today, and with some minor tumblr glitches ><, but here’s chapter 19! Enjoy loves! 

XXX

Being on strict bed rest was going to be a lot harder than I originally anticipated.

After the first couple of days, wherein Madja assured my mate and I that I was making excellent progress in my recovery, I began to grow mindlessly bored. During those first few days, Rhys continued his vigil at my side, but mercifully slept and ate when I did. He reopened his line of communication with our friends in the estate, talking with them mind-to-mind and updating them on my condition. He also relayed any messages they had for me, allowing me past his mental shields so I could hear their words directly. After hearing Mor practically beg to see me after the umpteenth time, I informed my mate that it was time to put an end to our isolation period. His male-bonded instincts made him reluctant at first, but after I reminded him of the instructions given to him by our healer—to allow our friends, our family, to take care of the both of us, he acquiesced.

Now, a week later, I was more than content when they took turns visiting me. Sometimes they would visit in pairs—my sisters, Mor and Amren, Cassian and Azriel, or sometimes all at once; I was almost never bored now that I had their company. However, this period of confinement to my bed set the others on a new protective edge I had never seen before. Before the incident, they had all done their best to help me whenever I was uncomfortable, or when some pregnancy-related symptom reared its ugly head. When I would mention the strange dreams I had at night, Amren brought me a book on the philosophies of dreaming and what they might mean; while Mor theorized how we could interpret them. When a certain flower in Elain's garden had stirred nausea in my stomach, she removed them. When I watched Azriel and Cassian training in the pit and somehow grew a charlie-horse in my calf from sitting too long with my legs tucked underneath me, Cassian massaged the spot while Azriel offered advice on how to stretch my muscles safely while I remained unable to train during my pregnancy.

Their care was subtle; it was the little things here and there that they did for me while Rhys waited on my hand and foot—or as much as I would allow him to. Now that I was restricted to my bed, only allowed up to use the washing room or to bathe, they all tended to me. They wanted to help in whatever way they could, sometimes bringing me food and drinks when they visited, or sometimes bringing different books or other forms of entertainment. My appreciation only grew when, after the third day of my lying-in and receiving another excellent progress report of my recovery from Madja, Rhys finally left my side in order to meet with Palace Lords or with his Commander of armies and spymaster.

Velaris was still working towards rebuilding and managing repairs after the fire. Not unlike the first attack from Hybern, there were many shops, studios, and galleries that had been destroyed. Thankfully, the studio Ressina and I had established for the children of Velaris only suffered minimal damages, but my heart ached at the thought of those whose establishments were beyond repair. After a decade of peace, of healing from the war, they now had to start all over again. The only thing quelling my grief was the knowledge that Rhys and I had the funds necessary to allocate towards helping make those repairs and helping those who were now misplaced by the fires. That, and the societies that had been formed after the war worked tirelessly with volunteers to restore the Rainbow to its former glory. It would take time, but I was glad to know that, only a week after the attack, our citizens were determined and inspired to work together despite this tragedy that had befallen them—again.

"Are we starting this morning with those somber thoughts, my love?" Rhys asked softly, his arm draped around me as we lay in bed.

I was still too tired, too weak, to try and hold up my shields of adamant—so instead I left them down, allowing Rhys to hear my concerns or complaints through my thoughts. I sighed as I turned to face him, smiling lazily as those powerful hands gripped my hips gently to help me turn.

I touched his cheek gently, his violet eyes half lidded—still heavy from sleep. "I just feel...terrible," I started. "I can't help them by volunteering like I did after the war."

Rhys nodded his understanding, moving the hand on my hip to my stomach. "No one expects that of you, Feyre, especially in your condition. Even if you weren't on bedrest, they would probably insist you take it easy regardless," he said before moving his hand from my stomach to my cheek.

"You saved the city from burning to the ground. That was a sacrifice our people know you made given your current circumstances, and they are so grateful," he pressed a kiss to my brow. "The last thing they want is to see their recovering High Lady lift another finger."

I gave him a wry smile, "It's the last thing that they want or that you want?"

He kissed me full on the lips before offering a feline grin. "Semantics. Now let me say good morning to my son," he said before caressing my stomach, angling his head to stare at it lovingly.

He beamed when he felt that glimmer beneath his touch, our son greeting him before moving around excitedly. "Good morning, Bash," he said as he continued to stroke the swell of my belly.

"I'm still not sold on the nickname," I said as I brushed my fingers over the tattoos on his shoulder.

"We could go with Bastion, that also has a good connotation associated with it," Rhys suggested with a smirk.

I laughed and pinched his shoulder. "Our poor son will be so confused by his own name," I half-heartedly lamented.

"Nonsense, he'll know that his name comes with strength, regardless of a nickname. Won't you, Bash?" he asked my belly before lifting my dressing gown in order to place a tender kiss on my bare skin.

I smiled as he came back to give me another kiss and I melted into him with a rueful sigh. Along with limited mobility and being subjected to my bed, Madja had informed us that we also could not engage in "other mated activities." As much as I enjoyed other forms of intimacy with my mate that didn't involve sex, I couldn't help but feel an ache from our lack of activity.

"I miss it too," he purred in my ear and I shuddered.

He pulled away with a roguish grin and I pouted—actually pouted as I watched him disappear into the bathing room for a few minutes before reappearing and dressing for the day. Now that he allowed himself to part from me, he met daily with Cassian and Azriel to go over reports, taking extra care to look out for any updates and intel gathered from the Autumn Court. After what Beron pulled on us, Mor sent out an initial warning to the other courts while Rhys and I were incapacitated. We didn't know where the male would strike next, so as third-in-command, Mor warned them of the possibility that they might be targeted. Mercifully, the High Lord of Autumn hadn't unleashed Vassa onto the other courts—according to their responses, but that left all of Prythian on edge.

Cassian had implemented his security protocols along our borders, working with the legion of Illyrians he recruited and trusted hadn't turned with the rebels. Our neighbors and other allies had done the same, leaving all eyes on the Autumn Court. Azriel and his network of spies were continuing their work in the shadows, gathering whatever information they could, but as far as any of us knew, Autumn had closed themselves off from the rest of the continent. Their own borders were tightened; wards set in place above their territory as well, making it even more difficult for Azriel to work. However, according to letters being exchanged with the other courts, Helion offered his assistance to the spymaster; having made the plans to infiltrate those borders last night.

The meeting this morning would be crucial; detailing whatever Azriel had been able to gather, along with more reports from the Hewn City. As stated by the shadowsinger's recent reports from his network of spies established in the Court of Nightmares, Keir had cut all ties with Beron, and we had yet to know if that was prior to or after the attack the Autumn male had released on us. Hopefully this morning's briefing would answer that question.

"Hold the meeting here," I said to Rhys after he finished buttoning the collar of his black tunic.

He hesitated, but before he could protest, I cut in. "I'll stay here in bed, I promise. There's plenty of room in our suite for Cassian and Azriel to come in and go over the reports."

Rhys sighed and sat on the edge of the bed as I pushed myself upright. "Madja instructed you to turn over your duties as High Lady, for the time being. No additional stress, remember?"

"Yes, I know, but you're just going to inform me of everything that's said regardless. That's what you've been doing, remember?" I challenged.

His answering smile was crooked. "You're right," he started, his hand coming to rest on my stomach again.

I eyed him warily, "I'm sensing a 'but.'"

He sighed. "But I don't want whatever Az comes back with to stir up any stress and cause you harm."

I crossed my arms, noting how they now propped over the mound of my stomach. "So, you were planning to sugarcoat it for me later?" I asked with a raised brow.

"No of course not, Feyre." He sighed heavily, running a hand over his slick dark hair.

Through the bond I could feel him battle with his instincts—his primal need to protect me and our son in our already fragile state. I softened a bit as I watched him struggle to find words before I placed a hand on his.

"I've made great improvements this week, Rhys. Madja confirmed that soon I would be able to return to a light workload, so let me start small. I'll stay in bed while the three of you go over the reports, just these reports, and then you can go about the rest of your duties today and I'll spend the afternoon with my sisters here." I suggested, remembering the ways my sisters had insisted I ease-up on my workload and knew that I would need to implement them for the duration of my pregnancy. The bed rest had enforced this with stricter rules than I originally expected, but I had to admit it was nice to take a step back. Once the strict confinement was lifted however, I wanted to at least handle a little bit of my responsibilities as High Lady until my time came nearer.

"Just this one meeting, in the comfort of our room, is all I ask Rhys." I offered with a squeeze of his hand.

He nodded and squeezed my hand back. "This one meeting, and maybe a couple more after your bed rest is over." He said, having heard my thoughts through my unshielded mind.

I rolled my eyes but nodded in agreement as he helped out of bed, holding me under my elbows as I slowly moved from the edge of the bed to a standing position before him. A part of me felt moving this slowly was an exaggeration but necessary.

"It is," Rhys said, flicking the tip of my nose as I stood before him. "Necessary."

I stuck my tongue out at him, "Stay out of my head. Just because I'm too weak to throw my shields up doesn't mean every last thought is up for grabs." He laughed and moved an arm around my waist as we made our slow trek to the adjoining bathing room.

I had been a bit mortified, at first, when Rhys had to help me perform basic functions—like sitting on the toilet, but my mate hadn't been deterred. After a decade of helping me change out of blood-soaked undergarments during my cycle, I shouldn't have been so flustered, but this felt so different. Still, Rhys didn't so much as bat an eye when he helped me to relieve myself or when he helped me into the tub to bathe—that he actually enjoyed. After a week, I still flushed on our trips to the bathing room, despite his constant reassurance that I shouldn't be embarrassed of my bodily functions—especially in front of him.

After I bathed, which he still tried to insist he do for me—to which I always retorted that I wasn't an invalid despite being on bed rest, he led me back to our room and I sat in my robe as he dug through my armoire.

"Find me something more official," I said. "Not just leggings and a blouse."

Rhys threw an amused brow at me over his shoulder. "You mean something more befitting of a High Lady?"

"Yes, though I'm not on duty right now, I can still dress like one from time to time," I insisted.

He only chuckled before pulling out a simple turquoise colored long-sleeved day dress that would fall just below my knees. Despite the warm weather the end of summer provided, the material was lightweight and would be comfortable enough to wear in bed. I nodded in approval and he brought it over to help me change. Just as he helped me over to the lounge placed at the foot of our bed, a familiar knock came at our door. Based on the weight of it, I knew it was Cassian.

"That was quick," I said to Rhys as he snapped his fingers—his magic making our bed and organizing it neatly.

"I let them know we were meeting in here today," he said with a wink before going to answer the door.

I smoothed out my dress as he led the Illyrians in and sat up a little straighter when I saw Cassian holding a small pastry box in hand. He grinned the second he noticed me staring at it and walked it over to me.

"Your sister, Nuala and Cerridwen made a raspberry braid early this morning and insisted I bring you a couple pieces," he explained as I took the box eagerly from him.

I sighed deeply as I opened the box, inhaling the sweet and buttery scent of the pastry and smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you, Cassian," I said before taking a piece and biting into it.

"How are you feeling?" Azriel asked as he fell in step beside Cassian, the latter then going over to the medium sized table Rhys and I had set up on the other side of the room to spread out the stacks of reports.

"Still worn out, but good." I said reassuringly. "Do you have an update for us?"

I saw his shoulders tense at my question, and he exchanged a wary glance with Cassian before they both faced us. "Helion was able to create a weak spot in the wards around the borders of the Autumn Court, allowing my spies in, but that's where the good news ends."

Rhys and I shared a frown as he stood beside the lounge I sat on, gripping the back of it a little tighter than he meant to. "Well?"

Cassian swore under his breath. "It seems Beron found Eris's attempts to rally their armies against him, lost his mind, and launched an all-out civil war against his own bastard son."

I blinked. "The Autumn Court is battling within themselves?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"He knew trying to depose his father in order to take over as High Lord would be tricky, which is why he called in the favor to us so long ago," Rhys explained.

"Right, but they're actually fighting each other now?" I asked again.

Cassian nodded and Azriel crossed his arms over his broad chest. "It's absolute hell in their territory. Eris is not doing so well with his armies, especially now that his father has recruited the sorcerer who controls Vassa, and my spies indicate that he is drafting a letter to send to the other High Lords of Prythian," he said. "Including us."

I felt Rhys's shadows grow darker, "I assume that means Keir isn't aiding either one of them?"

Cassian scoffed. "That bastard dropped out of their deal the moment he saw the instability in Beron's court. My guess is he's waiting to see who ends up taking over the seat of High Lord before trying to form a new alliance."

A spark of relief went through me, but it was short-lived as I asked, "Does that mean Keir is stalling his plans for the coup?"

Azriel gave me a somber look, "My spies found that he is restructuring plans with Kallon to move sooner rather than later. If the other high lords aid Eris in fighting his father, that leaves us with diminished assistance in our fight against him."

The bit of pastry I ate now roiled in my stomach as I sat back against the lounge, completely taken aback. "What do we do?" I whispered.

"We still have time," Rhys said. "I'll write to the others. They won't all decide to help Eris, they don't trust him. Especially after what happened at the summit."

"Helion already promised us his forces, if that should be the case. He was there when Az received the report, and he's informed Thesan as well." Cassian reassured, Azriel nodding in confirmation.

The nausea in my stomach alleviated a bit. Two additional courts against half the Illyrians and Keir's Darkbringers. I recalled the memories of the two armies working together on the battlefield against Hybern; remembered their might and Cassian's claim that success in battle was often decided not by numbers, but by picking where to fight. The Illyrians and Darkbringers would no doubt thrive in their home court.

"He also told you knowing when to fight was equally as important. Brute that he is, Keir won't strike until he believes he has the upper hand. It's why he's held off as long as he has and will continue to until he can guarantee what is happening in the Autumn Court will put us at a disadvantage." Rhys explained, hearing the rising anxiety in my thoughts, and gripped my shoulder gently.

Cassian and Azriel must've realized what I had been thinking, because they then each nodded in approval. "There isn't reason to panic just yet, Feyre." Cassian reassured. "It's bad news, but Rhys is right. The prick won't make any moves until he has assurance that he'll get what he wants."

I nodded, the dread that had been building up in my chest beginning to ease. I sighed as I sat up a bit. "You aren't all just saying this to make sure I don't get hysterical and go into spontaneous labor again, are you?"

"I would never lie to you, Feyre." Azriel answered without hesitation as Rhys squeezed my shoulder lightly. "That includes not sugarcoating the truth."

"You're my High Lady. I will always be upfront with you," Cassian promised.

I sighed and gripped the hand on my shoulder, squeezing it as I met Rhys's eyes. They were hardened amethyst, but conveyed the same promise.

"In the meantime, we set up wards around Velaris. I don't want to take even the slightest chance. The bastard will know what it means, and he can stew in his rage for all I care. He won't be a problem for much longer," Rhys said, his voice dangerously dark.

I gulped but dipped my head in agreement. "We write to the other courts as well, like you said. As soon as this mess in the Autumn Court is resolved, we'll gather and confront Keir and Kallon, and put an end to this once and for all." I said.

We all exchanged the same grave expressions, knowing that we'd be rid of these insurgents—soon.

XXX

I had wisely chosen to spend the rest of the day with my sisters. While Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel immediately went about executing the next phase in our plans to finally put an end to this coup. Cassian and Azriel left only minutes after Rhys called an end to our meeting, going to work on securing and preparing the city for the wards my mate would put up. I managed to convince Rhys to eat a bit of breakfast before he officially started his day. Not only was he going to send out letters to the other High Lords, Clotho aiding him in writing those letters, but also planned to meet with the Palace Lords of Velaris and inform them of the wards to be set in place—today. We, along with the other courts, were now officially preparing for war.

I tried not to think about it as I sat on the chaise lounge of my suite's sitting room with Elain and Nesta, trying to focus on Elain's excitement about finalizing the details of her plans to transform the sitting room into a nursery.

"And I think the cradle should go here in the middle of the room." Elain explained as she moved over the plush carpet in the center of the room, positioning herself to show the precise location.

I nodded, running an idle hand over my stomach as I felt a glimmer of excitement inside of it. "I like it," I said tiredly. After the meeting this morning, I was already sufficiently drained of any energy.

"I would think you'd be more excited about it," Nesta said coldly from her seat on the lounge adjacent to me. "Considering Elain made all these plans for your child."

I narrowed my eyes at my eldest sister, wondering how much longer I would be able to tolerate the icy rage she bore towards me ever since I had been placed on bed rest. Whenever she and Elain would visit my bedside, Nesta remained indifferent—hardly saying more than a few words at a time to me, and almost all of them hostile. Thinking back to her behavior at the cabin just a little over a week prior, the concern she expressed for mine and my child's health, had me wondering what had caused her flip in attitude so suddenly.

"It really wasn't any trouble," Elain began carefully, sensing the tension stirring between us. "The baby is our niece or nephew, and I wanted to contribute something."

"Thank you, Elain," I said before sliding my eyes back to Nesta. "And for the record, I am excited, but I'm also exhausted. In case you haven't noticed." I motioned to my stomach for emphasis.

Nesta didn't look impressed, instead taking a sip of her tea with a shrug. "I'd say you only have yourself to blame for that."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I snapped, sitting up a little straighter.

Elain took a step towards me; Nesta snapping back at me with equal vigor. "I mean it's your own fault for the state you're in now. You didn't have to be confined to your bed, your body working overtime to recover from a near-loss that could have been avoided."

I stared at her, mouth agape in complete and utter shock. "Nesta, please. We can't be upsetting Feyre right now in-" Elain started but Nesta cut her off with a scoff as she stood.

"Why should I coddle her?" She asked before directing those deadly grey-blue eyes at me. My eyes—stirring with Nesta's own dark power that swirled under her delicate fae features. "We warned you to be careful, to take a step back and let the others here handle your vocations as High Lady, and not two damn minutes later you winnow away and use your powers."

"I did it to save my city." I said, my voice barely above a whisper as my throat grew tight at her words. "Our city. Our home. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Not when it could've cost you your youngling!" She barked. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are that you didn't? That your youngling survived, despite the risk, meanwhile females like me-" she stopped herself, realizing her words.

Elain covered her mouth and I blinked, a few traitorous tears slipping down my face. I recalled Cassian's revelation from months ago as Nesta clenched her fists and turned away, going to the tea cart placed on the other side of her lounge chair.

"Meanwhile females like you who can't have their own?" I said softly.

Her shoulders stiffed, but she didn't turn to meet my gaze. "Who told you that?" She asked, her voice not as fierce as it had just been—a crack in her hardened veneer.

"Is that why you're mad at me Nesta?" I returned, deciding I wouldn't dance around this issue any longer. "Because I put my child at risk, without any consideration to how it might make you feel. You who can't bear her own youngling?"

I saw her head dip below her shoulders slowly, the hand holding a teacup trembling before a tiny crack formed. I sighed shakily, sniffing as I forced away my tears with a gulp.

"Nesta, I'm so sorry," I began. "The last thing I wanted was to hurt anyone. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone secretly felt the same way. What I did...was dangerous. You're right, I could've lost my child...my son."

Elain turned her teary gaze to my stomach. "It's a boy?"

"Yes, and I know in that moment my instincts as High Lady overshadowed my instincts as a mother, and I," I choked back a sob as I rubbed the swell of my stomach gently. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself, even if everyone else has. But I won't blame them if they don't—if you don't."

Elain wiped a few tears away as she sat beside me, placing her hands over mine and squeezed them gently, while Nesta's shoulders gradually lowered. "I'm sorry," I whispered again.

"I felt that way once." She said, her voice gravelly as she finally turned to face Elain and me. The fire in her blue-grey eyes now smoldered with that sorrow I had seen before; on that day we learned that Viviane had given birth to Eira.

"I once thought I would never forgive myself...after I lost my youngling." She ignored Elain's quiet gasp as she stared out the window, wrapping her arms around herself. "It was years ago, after the war. While I was with Cassian in the Illyrian mountains. As a human, my cycles were few and far between, and after I was made, they stopped altogether." She cleared her throat with a small shrug of her shoulders.

"I assumed long ago that I would never be able to carry a child, had made my peace with it...until I woke up one morning in a pool of blood. The look on Cassian's face when he-" her voice faltered and I saw her throat bob, staring up into the sky for a minute before she was finally able to move on. "The Illyrian healers said it was very early on, only six weeks at the most, and later Madja confirmed that my body was...incapable of ever bringing a youngling to term."

She turned to face me. "It was part of the reason why it took me so long to return from the mountains. Knowing you and your High Lord wanted a family of your own, knowing I could return and see you with child," she paused as she stared at my stomach. "My outlook changed over the course of that year, and thanks to that brute, I...was able to face you all again. Even with the loss weighing on him just as heavily, he managed to work past it and pull me up through those depths I was already well into after the events of the war.

"When I learned you were pregnant, I thought it would cause me pain, but instead I saw it as an...opportunity. It wasn't until then that I realized I finally forgave myself for the loss, realized it wasn't my fault, and I was grateful." Our eyes met again, meaningfully, and I motioned for Elain's help as I slowly scooted to the edge of my seat.

Elain jumped to her feet and gingerly helped me to mine. Nesta sucked in a breath, prepared to protest as I made a step towards her, but she instead crossed the room in a couple of strides and embraced me. Tears I hadn't realized were already in my eyes fell as Nesta squeezed her arms around me—careful not to put any strain on my middle, and only a few seconds later Elain's arms encircled us both as best she could.

"Forgive yourself, Feyre," Nesta breathed before pulling back enough to meet my stare. "And take care. Let the others, let us, take care of you and your son."

I nodded with a sob before Elain pulled her back into our embrace and we all held each other—like we had all once done so, so long ago.

[sourbat]

“do you want me to give you advice or do you just want me to listen?” magtok or ship if your choice

This got a little self-indulgent. 

and yes, it’s magtok

After their shared meeting, the psychiatrist requested that Toki leave, and Magnus stay behind for a little while longer. Neither had any reason to believe the news was bad, but when Magnus does leave the small office some five minutes later, looking a little worse for wear, Toki assumes some misgiving had occurred. Bad news? Failure to meet certain goal posts?  An increase in dosage?

After a few handshakes, the required talks with the nurse scheduling the next appointment, it’s a quiet ride down the elevator, with Magnus reading the overview of his meeting in absolute silence. Toki clicks his tongue against his teeth, testing the tone and Magnus’ overall mood. The older man never voices a single complaint the ride down, and continues keeping to himself the walk to the car.

Toki refuses for the ride home to be silent, and immediately snuffs any chance of Magnus spending the next several minutes driving and moping in silence. The keys go into the ignition, and Toki stops him and asks if there is anything he can do to help Magnus. He makes sure not to guess the source of the problem, point a finger or ask any additional questions.

The question hangs above their heads. Toki waits for Magnus’ response, mentally preparing himself for the worse, only to have Magnus drop the keys he had readied for the ignition, and quietly announces that his psychiatrist wants him to consider dropping the mood suppressants.

“She wants you off the suppresscants?” Toki says aloud, taking in the news one word at a time. He falls into the passenger seat, eyes agape and staring out towards the parking lot.

“Yeah.” Magnus squeezes the keys in his hand. “Since my dosage is already so low, she wants me to–”    

“Oh, Magnus, this ams such great news!” Toki reaches over to Magnus’ side, pulling him into an awkward, but loving embrace. He rubs his face against a tuft of brown waves, smiling at the tickle.

Toki waited for this day. Magnus worked so hard trying to get better. They’d been to so many sessions. Even on the best of days, Toki knows Magnus didn’t look forward to the trips. He could be in a good mood going in, but the sessions always prove to be stressful, cathartic to the point of it being emotionally overwhelming at times. It isn’t easy.

Manus wriggles underneath him. “You’re really excited about this?”

“Yeps!” Toki happily announces. “You gets to get offs another medicines!”

Satisfied, Toki relinquishes his hold on Magnus and drops back to his seat, but not before picking up the stapled, folded sheets detailing the information of their recent visit. He flips through the pages, stopping at the second to the last where he reads the summary and doctor’s suggestion. There it is, clear as day. The good news. Drop the suppressants to see if Magnus can rely solely on learned techniques and his own hindsight to keep himself in check. It’s real. This is real. It has been such a long time coming, but it’s finally here.

And isn't this one of the pills Magnus couldn’t mix with alcohol? Toki’s eyes glisten with excitement and possibilities. He thinks of the new and old activities he can reintroduce to Magnus, once he is clear, cleansed of this old prescription and off the blasted pills. They can go out and drink more, and Magnus can get drunk again! Maybe Magnus can take other things, too, and Toki wouldn’t have to worry about it getting in the way of decision making, Magnus making rash decisions, or Magnus going from one extreme to the-

Toki notices how quiet it’s gotten, and when he turns and checks on Magnus, sees that he is still fiddling with the keys. His eyes shift between the collective sheets in Toki’s hands, and the many keys and chains he entangles with his busy hands.

“Ims there something wrongs?” Toki asks, not quite catching on to Magnus’ silence. 

A frown. “Nothing,” he answers, still eyeing the keys. “Just…didn’t think you’d get so excited.”

Toki folds the sheets messily on top one another. “You ams getting off the medicaskons. Beens a long times since that happens.”

It’s been over a year since dropping another medication. Toki remembers it clear as day. Like now, Toki had been just as excited, but so had Magnus. They’d both been so relieved to know there was one less thing holding Magnus together.

Why isn’t Magnus happy right now?

Toki’s hand crushes the sheets. “Magnus?”

Magnus grips the wheel. “Toki, I don’t think I–”

The leather groans under his hold. Toki grits his teeth against the sound. A nasty weight piles in his stomach the second Magnus tears away from the window to meet him.

His stare lets Toki know it’s dread.

“I don’t think I want to get off the suppressants,” Magnus announces, voice unwavering, but it’s clear he’s upset. Toki can hear the sharp cadence, the hidden snap that was already gathering on the defense.  “I… don’t want to stop taking them.”

Toki’s silent. He stares at Magnus, watches his expression turn from nervous to dejected at what Toki assumes is his own disappointed expression. Toki can feel it reach into every fiber of his being. The shock. The sudden turn of events. He must look so surprised, he thinks, but can’t bring himself to check in the mirror. He can’t even get himself to look away from Magnus who keeps eyeing him, waiting for a change, a smile, a supportive line. Anything.

Toki’s head fills with questions. He tries reaching for one, the most obvious “but why nots,” but as he parts his lips, Magnus jerks in seat.

“Like, I know you’re really excited” he says, voice picking up volume and a distinct uncontrolled shakiness. Magnus smiles when he says it, too, though Toki can detect its inauthenticity the second Magnus tries offering it to him. “I was, too. But then she kept talking about the cleansing period, and the initial swings, and I don’t know, man.”

Magnus hands leave the wheel and start swinging, moving with frantic words and expressions that carve deep into Toki. He sees Magnus shake, go pale as he fights to defend a decision Toki cannot comprehend. The fake smile leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

“I know it’s been a while, and I know I see it all through black and white, but I don’t want to say or do anything like I remember,” Magnus says through the silent strain. Toki blinks, witnessing past acts of blind or misdirected rage. He sees Magnus hiding under the covers for days, only leaving to use the restroom or rehydrate. He watches Magnus right now, shaking his head at himself, disbelieving his own strength. “I don’t want to snap at people. I don’t want to feel like I’m choking on my own thoughts.”

There’s anger sitting at the edge of every word. Toki hears it lingering, feels its weight settle around him, but never aimed directly at him.

Magnus coughs false laughter. “Am I overreacting? You think I’m overreacting, don’t you?” He points a finger at himself.  “I’m doing it again, aren’t I? I’m being stupid, making this more than what it has to be…”

He falls into his seat, hands dragging across his face. Fingers get caught in his hair, curl and writhe and purposely get tangled. Toki stops it with a hand resting on top of Magnus' leg. The simple gesture is enough for Magnus to fix himself up, though avoids looking in Toki’s direction until he’s able to tolerate his own reflection in the rearview. 

“I’m over-fucking-thinking it, again.” He sighs. Toki squeezes Magnus’ thigh, calling for his attention. It takes a few seconds for Magnus to relax, for shoulder ease into place and frown shift into a defeated grin, before he finally secedes. He stares solemnly at Toki. “I need to stop doing that. I really should’ve just asked you from the start, huh?”

The hand shifts from the thigh to Magnus’ hand. 

Toki peers close. “Do you wants me to gives you advice or does you just wants me to listen?” 

There’s a pin that burrows into his chest when he utters it, because he knows it’s far from what he wants to tell Magnus. But it’s what the man needs to hear, and once it's out there, Toki sees Magnus’ chest heave, and eyes go dark before being covered with his sleeve.

“…I don’t want to be angry all the time,” Magnus confesses. The answer doesn’t immediately surprise Toki, but the fear riddled in Magnus’ eyes, the dread in his voice keeps Toki alert and listening. “I don’t want to feel like I need to look over my shoulder. I don’t want to hurt you. I know you think I won’t, but I can’t shake this feeling I’ll do something awful if I don’t keep myself in check. I know you trust me, but I don’t know if I’m quite there yet, with you. You trust me, but… I’ve done it to you on meds, and now she wants me off of them? What if say something I can’t take back?” 

The pin pushes further inward. It hurts because all Toki can hear is how much Magnus thinks about him, how considerate he’s trying to be. It’s so sweet. How nice of him, but he was being so mean to himself in the process. That also hurt, because Toki knows Magnus is better than he thinks. He’s stronger than he gives himself credit for. And it hurts the most because it means the day hasn’t yet arrived, and Toki is going to have to wait a little longer for it to come.

“Okays.”

“What?” 

Toki pulls in his lips, fighting past a sigh as he fishes for the right words. They come sooner than predicted, and with them, a gentle warmth. Acceptance. “If you don’t think you ams ready, then you ams not ready. I trusts you. And when you ams, we can celebrates then, okays?”

There’s a smile near the end, and when it forms, the pain lessens. Toki feels it spread across his face, and with it the sense that he still needs to reel Magnus back to him. 

He goes for the shoulder. “You okays?”

A despondent frown. “You’re not upset?”

There’s no point in lying to Magnus, not after being so blatantly disappointed after hearing the news. He can handle the truth, Toki thinks, and the more he dwells on it, the more Toki realizes it’s better they both hear.

“I knows I was exciteds about you drinkins and havins fun with me, but we does that anyways,” Toki starts cautiously, and watches as Magnus gives a short, but confirming nod. He tucks his hands between his legs. “And you said you don’t trusts yourskelves, so…Toki will just have to works on that. Helps out my bestest friend believes in himself more.”

He looks up hopefully at Magnus. Toki unbuckles his seatbelt, leaves his seat and takes Magnus into an embrace.

“This ams your therapy,” he says, and feels Magnus’ arms fold around him. “You gets to decides when you ams ready, not me.”

Magnus shuts his eyes. A sharp intake of breath. “Thank you.”

The words hit just right, because once Toki hears it, the pain starts to vanish. They remain that way for some time, with Magnus selfishly pulling Toki as close as their limited space will allow, and Toki listening in on the occasional sniff, the skip of a rapid heartbeat desperately working to convince itself this wasn’t a failure, but something else.

Eventually, the discomfort of his potion forces Toki to part with Magnus sooner than preferred. He catches a relieved sigh once he does, but notices Magnus wiping his face once he does return to his seat. The man hasn’t quite recovered yet.

Toki spots the keys resting between Magnus’ legs. He swallows.

“Wants me to drive?”

Eyes still closed, Magnus stubbornly shakes his head. “You hate driving.”

Toki openly challenges the remark with a slight drop of his voice. “Do you wants me to drive us homes?” 

The steering wheel groans, and Magnus’s head sinks against the growing silence. 

Eyes open, and tears fall. “Yeah…”

Smiling, Toki reaches for the keys.

[dmcdrabbles]

The Boys™ with an s/o who never seems to get past the 'honeymoon' stage? they always catch her staring at them lovingly, giggling when they smile at her, softly blushing when they show physical or verbal affection, complimenting them during battle, things like that! I love me some fluff (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

God im so unsoft hope this is soft enough

Vergil

Surprised by how honeymoony she always acts, but also pleased by it. Having her affection for him be so overt makes him want to return it, though he’s not as open with it as she is.

When it comes to being in private, he soaks up her reactions to his attention and relishes in the way he can always make her blush. He likes to find new ways to draw reactions out of her.

Though in public he’s not openly affectionate, he’ll accept her compliments and her giggling and her staring without complaint- and in fact, he finds it cute. When he catches her staring he’ll give the smallest little smile (more of a smirk, really) and keep that expression for long after he thinks she’s stopped looking

Especially touched by her compliments, as he likes to impress her.

Dante

He finds it so cute. He’s admittedly not very used to people treating him with such obvious affection, and coming from her it means all the much more.

He loves seeing her laugh, so he likes to tell her jokes or give her flirty looks when he has the chance. He gets into the habit of throwing her a wink when he’s leaving for a while, so he can get one last dose of her giggles before he goes.

In private it’s easy for him to get honeymoony as well, especially if he’s been gone for a while. He likes to be physically close to her a lot, even when it’s not necessarily the best time. He can break away when he needs to, but if nothing’s stopping him he’ll spend most of the day hanging out around her.

Nero

eMBARRASSED. He does the nose-scratching thing all the time around her. He loves the attention, but overt affection (especially in public) flusters him a little bit. It can end up in an adorable feedback loop of both of them getting flustered around each other.

Having her obvious and open approval of his affection makes it easier for him to give it to her, so over time he’ll be less shy about saying (and doing) romantic things. She’ll probably never stop being able to fluster him when giving him her own, though over time he’ll be more willing to accept it with a blush and a grumble.

Takes him a while to accept that she’s being earnest when she tells him sweet things or compliments him, because he initially believes she’s just trying to talk him up and isn’t actually impressed

Often looks at his s/o when he needs reassurance, because he knows that she’s always able to make him feel better with even just a smile

V

Loves to impress her and loves to draw reactions out of her, even as he pretends to be nonchalant about it. It’s probably fairly obvious to anyone who knows him well, because he doesn’t usually spend this much attention on one person

Will act like he doesn’t notice the affect he has on her either, even while leaning close to speak quietly in her ear and relishing in the way her whole face gets red.

He likes to turn her compliments against her and say sweet things as though its no big deal. Very dangerous to say anything nice to him, especially considering how flustered she gets.

[kareofbears]

persona 5 royal: my thoughts after finishing it five minutes ago

disclaimer: the only reason im writing this is because 1) i have a lot of thoughts and feelings that i need to write down and if i dont ill explode and 2) i want to be able to find this when p5s eventually drops so i can compare my thought processes. if you do not agree with what i’m going to say, that’s cool! just block me or ignore this post. 

now for the sake of sanity, i’m going to try and narrow down this entire list into chunks because this’ll probably be very very long and very much about me just screaming about stuff that i liked, loved, and don’t like. i will be spoiling both the original persona 5 and persona 5 royal, obviously, so i hope you finished both!

1) Akechi

so yes. Goro Akechi. Everyone’s favorite murderer. I’m going to by spewing a lot of hot takes, and this is probably going to be the spiciest: i am in the most intense love-hate relationship with this brown haired antagonist because jesus christ is he a complicated son of a bitch. I know i’ve complained in the past about how much Atlus often struggles with utilizing a character well, but that does not at all relate to Akechi in any way, shape, or form. 

I’ll say this now: He is a character I genuinely, truly hate, yet he is the one I want to hear from the most. He is someone who is a bad person (yes, he is a bad person) but whenever he comes on screen he makes me sit up, he makes me pay attention to him because that’s just the aura he exudes. He is a character who i would never, ever waste my time defending or justifying his actions, but every minute joker spends with him is a minute i want to stretch out as long as possible because he is just that good of a character. He is interesting, he is well defined, he is smart, he is clever, he is sassy, he’s a motherfucking asshole who’s never had a vibe check in my life and i still hate him. Goro Akechi is what Star Wars wanted Kylo Ren to be, and that allegory may not make sense to many people but it works for me so i’m saying it. It’s to the point where writing akechi in a fanfic makes me sweat because in my opinon capturing the essence of akechi is near impossible unless you know what you are talking about (i do not mean that in anyway to discourage people from writing him, im just saying that I am a coward because i will never be able to write a good akechi). Anyway, bottom line is: i despise him but my eyes are always glued to him at all times.

back to the main point-- Atlus absolutely nailed this character and every single addition they put in for Akechi. I’m so damn thrilled that you actually have confidant hangouts with him because every single time you talk to him, it services not only the plot, but it perfectly does what it is supposed to do: it makes you like him, but also leaves the player slightly unnerved. they do it so casually that I might have trouble explaining it, but bear with me: everytime you hangout with him, he always does or say something that unhinges you just a little bit, it leaves you asking ‘wait why?’ or ‘but how did you know that’ or ‘why are you saying that?’. akechi is constantly playing mind games with you. and not only that, adding backstory to akechi (moreso than in the original) is just fucking fantastic. he’s always been a fully fleshed out character but after playing royal, goro akechi actually exists in my mind, and i still hate him (but also i dont. but also i do. anyway)

2) the ending

just finished the game and this is the point where i am at odds with p5r for the first time. the ending to p5, in my opinion, was flawless; everything was perfect and had meaning. from the shot of akira being shown to not wearing glasses anymore because he no longer feels the need to wear a mask (character development: he was very unhappy at the beginning of the game and now he’s happy with his friends--i love it), to his friends being the one to drive him home (amazing, he left his home town and came to shibuya alone via transit, and one year later he’s now leaving with all of his best friends in a van they rented just so they could stay with him as long as they can--it’s perfect, i love it), and also all of them seeing how large and infinite the ocean is (because now there’s unlimited options for them because they all have a new perspective on life). 

But....none of that is there in p5r. it feels impersonal. no one drops him off at his hometown, he was still wearing glasses, and there’s no grand metaphor about what they all achieved. 

Now, i am not a (complete) moron. I know why they had to change it: it’s because of persona 5 scramble (i think). they wanted to set up a plot for the next game and i feel like thats the reason why persona 5 royal’s ending suffered for it: they were too focused on the next plot that they forgot to focus on the sentimental ending for p5r. don’t get me wrong, seeing akechi in the train station absolutely made me lose my shit and made me scream at one in the morning, but i think they lost the core meaning in doing the other stuff. i did not like the focus on maruki and kasumi (will be talking about them later), cause i feel like it took away from the ending, and i also didn’t like the fact that the whole joker outfit in the reflection thing (but i will be letting it slide since it was during the after credits anyway). So while i do love one (1) new aspect of the final cut scene, i still adore and stan the one from persona 5. 

3) the entire last semester 

i’ll be quick: the final palace? the best palace. fight me. it’s fantastic, it’s innovative, it’s interesting, and most of all, the palace ruler is actually the best one in the entire game and i know i wont be the only one to say this. maruki is not a villain: i know for a godamn fact that im not the only one to say that i almost agreed with his deal of allowing the reality (damn i almost agreed twice) because why wouldnt you?? it’s literally a perfect reality! the only reason i didnt agree is because i knew the game wouldnt want me to agree and would force me to have the bad ending! anyway, i love the last section so much. the palace design is interesting, the antagonist is brilliant (who doesn’t love a morally gray antagonist?), and finally, the payoff of kasumi happened and it made me silent for ten minutes. the entire reveal of her being sumire and kasumi being dead is just so genuinely shocking to me that it nearly broke my neck.

what actually broke my neck was the initial incident for the third semester. seeing everyone in this wild alternate reality made me so unsettled that i literally got a stomach ache. i saw morgana as a human and nearly passed out. shiho in the underground? wig. ryuji saying he’s on the national pedastal for running? literally my eyebrows just popped off my head. fucking WAKABA? FLATLINED. brilliantly executed and i love the initial akechi and akira buddy cop movie vibes in the beginning it was just so fun. 

one huge part of the third semester for me though, was of course, akechi. seeing him completely throw away his ‘charming ace detective’ speil was the most refreshing and interesting and not to mention, hilarious part of the game. he does not give a fuck about anyone and he is not afraid to let you know. he is the biggest savage and the most insane person on the phantom thieves group. he’ll roast you, he’ll roast your boyfriend, he’ll roast fuckin anyone and it’s fantastic. not to mention his dialogue is killer: he says the most bat shit insults ever and my favorite example is when you go up to him near the end of the game, you know, to hangout with him and be a nice guy, he just does not hesitate to say ‘what, you came just to see me? just the sort of brainless sentimentality i’d expect from you.’ i LOVE IT because why the hell would he try to be nice? the jig is up, he’s got nothing to hide. and he owns it. atlus seriously nailed akechi in this last semester and it’s brilliant and i love it.

4) everything else 

- one small thing that pissed me off in both games (but especially this one) is how many godamn fake out deaths there are. Morgana has one, Akira has one, Ryuji has one, Sojiro has one, Maruki has one, motherfucking Akechi has two. it just hurts me!

- sumire is an amazing character who has depth and she is lovely and my biggest complaint is that it feels like atlus shoved her in. like, she feels like a new addition to the game, you know what  i mean? maybe its because ive played the original p5 first, but you know, it’s not a big deal. but i love her so much

- on the topic of sumire, i cant say that im completely super duper happy with how different she felt from the other thieves? im sure that’ll be explained in p5s but she just got so much screen time that it just truly made me confused?? maybe im just a horrible person, or that’s just a really hot take. but anyway, yeah maybe im bitter because i really wanted to see extra hangouts/school trips during royal, but didn’t really.

-baton pass? literally orgasmic. it made turn base battles so damn fun and the addition of darts and billiards made me foam at the mouth it was SO SMART AND INNOVATIVE AND I LOVE IT ATLUS I LOVE YOU ATLUS YOURE SO SMART SWEETIE

-small thing, but making spells like ‘dormina’ actually useful just made the game so much more fun and dungeon crawling became something i truly, genuinely looked forward to

-being able to give gifts to my bros? absolutely incredible. thank you. side note: seeing akechi happy from giving him a multi vitamin cracked me up. side side note: giving ryuji a fuck ton of weights and him just smiling made my heart so happy i love that boy so much

- ah this game just looked so GOOD! i thought the original looked good but they really went all out. im not kidding, the smallest details in everyday life or even just normal cut scenes were out of this world. especially stuff from the third semester its just OOF good JOB atlus i love you buddy

-ahhh thieves den! how can i forget? i love it. at first i was a bit iffy with it since it really felt like persona 5 (undoubtedly the biggest game atlus has created) was just jacking itself off. but as time goes on, it became a huge addition to the game and seeing characters’ insights and extra lines of dialogue became super duper interesting and a highlight of the game for me. and don’t even get me started on how much i love love love the photos they added of them hanging out! so lovely, a bunch of them made me tear up

- i know it’s literally impossible, but i feel like the game just forgot that akechi is a person who can wield multiple persona and i just wish that could’ve been messed around with during Palaces

- showtimes are so, so crazy and i get so embarassed whenever they play on my tv because they are just outlandish and unashamed but i love them so so much it just defines persona’s personality 

-because i love ryuji: i prefer the final conversation you have with him aka ‘whaddya mean? you’re there’ but there’s still a lot of really tender and sweet moments like akira genuinely telling him that he’ll miss him, and also the fact that ryuji wants you both to send each other your times through the exercise watch so you can still race ahhhh i love him so much yall

so, overall, this game is better than the original p5 because of the extra content we get. if persona 5 was the perfect dinner, persona 5 royal is that same dinner and you get to enter the dessert buffet. it’s brilliant, it’s smart, it’s hilarious, it’s heartwarming, and it’s undoubtedly my favorite game of all time without exaggeration. while i do prefer the final cut scene (and final dialogues with some characters) in the original persona 5, in the overall experience, persona 5 royal is superior in my mind. i would willingly get amnesia to play this game again. 

I didn’t get to cover everything, but this is definitely most of what i wanted to say. if you actually get to reading all the way to the end, thanks! it means a lot. i hope we can all enjoy persona and look forward to persona 5 scramble together :-)

[danurso]

Salem's favorite butler - Part 1

(Based in a old discord talk)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Salem: I think it's clear what our main objective is, now that cinder obtained the maiden's powers, our victory against ozpin and the fall of his precious school are closer than ever.

Emerald: err. . .salem, there's only one problem. . .

Salem: *narrows her eyes* and what would be that problem.

Cinder: during the fight with amber, qrow branwen intervene and. . .i was only able to steal half of the maiden powers.

Salem: you. . .what?

Cinder: . . .

Salem: so let me get this straight, after months of planning and waiting for the perfect moment you failed?

Cinder: . . .

Salem: answer me!

Cinder: *flinches* i-it wasn't our fault, qrow branwen was there and he-

Salem: you were careless! And that is why you failed!

Cinder: i-i-

Salem: *with a dark aura around her* at this point ozpin knows about our attack and he will make everything to protect the other half of the maiden's powers! Even more, now that he knows we're after the maidens he will more alert than ever! Your recklessness might've given him the edge to stop our plans!!

Cinder: i-im sorry, i-

Salem: I DON'T WANT YOUR APOLOGIES!!! I WANT YOU TO GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!

Cinder: *terrified* yes. *leaves along with mercury and emerald*

Salem: *heavy breathing*

Jaune: i told you she wasn't ready didn't i?

Salem: *looks to jaune who's walking in wearing a butler suit, carrying a tea tray and with his usual smile* do you think it's a wise choice to play such an dangerous game while i'm like this?

Jaune: probably not, but what is the worst it could happen to me? *putting down some tea in a cup*

Salem: i could snap my fingers and kill you in a very painful way.

Jaune: true, but then who would make your tea? *hands her a teacup*

Salem: i could easily find a replacement for you *sips the tea* . . .peppermint?

Jaune: correct, and i thought i could fool you this time.

Salem: you will never fool me young man. Still, your tea is as good as ever.

Jaune: thank you milady. I just imagined you would appreciate something to relax after such a stressful day.

Salem: tea alone won't be able to calm me down jaune, not today.

Jaune: that's why i've prepared a special bath for you.

Salem: i can't take a bath yet, there are things i still need to settle with watts and hazel.

Jaune: they're not coming anymore.

Salem: why?

Jaune: because i told them so, they will only come by tomorrow.

Salem: and who said you could order them like that?

Jaune: no one, but when milady's health is on risk i must take the necessary measures, that's why you'll have an day off today.

Salem: you do realize how much you are pushing your luck don't you?

Jaune: i know, and milady can feel free to punish me once the day is over, but for now, i need you to follow me to your quarters so we can take out these clothes and you can relax on the bathtub while i give you an massage to help with your tense shoulders.

Salem: . . . . . . *sigh* your luck is that you have skilled hands *walking away* you would be dead if it wasn't for that.

Jaune: *bows* thank you very much milady.

*on salem's bathroom*

Salem: *already naked and getting in the bathtub* *sighs*

Jaune: *gets behind her and starts massaging her shoulders* so, what is the source of all this stress milady?

Salem: cinder failed in obtain the maiden's powers, how did you wanted me to get after hearing such a thing?

Jaune: i already expected milady to react like this, but still, you're more tense than usual, mind telling me why?

Salem: nothing gets past you right?

Jaune: *chuckles* i try my best to avoid that.

Salem: *sigh* i guess i just want this war to be over already, i want to end this pitiful world along with the human race at once.

Jaune: don't worry, i'm sure milady will reach her objective sooner or later.

Salem: you seem to be extremely calm for someone of the race i just threatened to destroy.

Jaune: life is temporary for someone like me, i don't really care if im going to die tomorrow or in fifty years, my main focus right now is to serve milady and help her in the way i can.

Salem: and you don't care about the extinction of your race?

Jaune: honestly? No, all i know about mankind is that they are used to kill and lie to one another for fame and money, and they do not seem to care about leaving their own to die if it saves them. . . *smile widens a bit* but well, i can't complain about that really, i might've been abandoned to die when younger but thanks to that i met milady.

Salem: and you don't think about how your life could've been if your family didn't abandoned you?

Jaune: sometimes, but these thoughts don't really matter much to me, i only care about milady.

Salem: *sighs getting up, her lips slightly curved upwards* you really are a fool, aren't you?

Jaune: *giving her bathrobe* as long as i'm useful to you, i don't mind being a fool.

Salem: *drying herself* if you think like that then you are a even bigger fool compared to what i initially thought.

Jaune: well, forgive me if i haven't made my foolishness evident to you before milady.

Salem: *let go of her bathrobe and walks back into her room* if you want my forgiveness i will need something from you.

Jaune: and that would be?

Salem: *standing in front of jaune, still naked* it's simple. *holds his face for a moment before kissing him* make me forget about everything for today. *let go of him, walking to her bed with a noticeable sway on her hips, sitting down with her legs crossed and giving him a sultry smile * all i want to do is think about my favorite buttler.

Jaune: *removing his bowtie and walking towards the bed* as you wish milady. *gets down, kissing her with as much fervor as possible*

*on the next morning*

Cinder: *knocks on the door*

Jaune: *opens the door* yes

Cinder: salem, i- wait, what are you doing here? *blushes, looking away* a-and why are you naked!?

Jaune: i would recommend that you lower your tone of voice, milady is resting after a very. . . "Eventful" night, and i'm afraid she won't be able to see you right now.

Cinder: f-fine, i'll come back later.

Jaune: *closes the door before walking back to the pile of clothes besides the bed*

Salem: *sleepy* and where do you think you're going?

Jaune: *dressing up* good morning milady.

Salem: i said, where are you going?

Jaune: i need to prepare everything as usual.

Salem: come back to bed.

Jaune: i'm afraid i won't be able to do that milady, there are lots of things i need to-

Salem: *summons a grimm hand, grabbing him and tossing on the bed* when i tell you to do something you better obey me. *lays on his chest* now stay still, if you get up i'll kill you.

Jaune: *sighs stroking her hair* honestly, what a spoiled queen i have.

Salem: is that a complaint?

Jaune: *chuckles* absolutely not milady.

Salem: *content sigh* good.

[firstpuffin]

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening remake

-Note: It’s kind of embarrassing to admit but my comments around the visuals of A Link to the Past and Link’s Awakening are straight-up incorrect. The two games did not share the same visual style and I honestly don’t know why I said that; I most definitely knew better. Still, I’m not going to get rid of it because the internet needs more examples of people admitting to be being wrong.

I say a lot that I want to be positive, but it’s really gonna be hard with this one. See, at the latest Nintendo Direct it was announced that they would be releasing a remake of the 26 year old game, The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. As it happens I was already considering writing something about this game in a “Games from my Childhood” article, but that would actually have been positive! This one is… well, I’m going to at least try and balance every negative with a positive.

-at least the title screen looks good-

  So where to begin: I won’t cover the story because spoilers but how about some personal background? The game came out a year before I did (ha! bad jokes) and I have no idea when I got my grubby little paws on it, but it was a part of my life genuinely for as long as I can remember, along with the Pokémon games. I never completed it as a child, but my memories of it were so good that I returned to it as an adult and completed it, learning its sad secret.

-hey! according to this it released the same year I did; me getting my years mixed up I guess-

  Link’s Awakening (LA) was originally a pet project made outside of work hours which is why it borrows resources from other games such as the Mario series, but it was eventually released to critical acclaim. The gameplay is much the same as its immediate predecessor A Link to the Past (LttP), but with a number of new items and a unique soundtrack. Visually it is much the same as well, although its original release was black and white for the GameBoy with Link’s Awakening DX adding colour for the GameBoy Colour.

  So let’s start with the visuals as that is most of what we have right now: the original shared its visuals with LttP what with them using the same assets (tools, resources etc) and LttP had a sequel recently that looked really nice. But the upcoming LA remake looks nothing like it; I wouldn’t expect it to but when a defence of the artistic choice is that “it’s an update of the original graphics” (so why not use the assets from the LttP remake?) or that it somehow “reflects the atmosphere of the original” except there’s no reason for it to be any different to, again, the LttP remake. And in response to the “atmosphere”, LA was one of the darker yet in some ways more whimsical games; this new style is childish to the extreme.

  Don’t get me wrong, I love something that is good and childish, but there is a level when it stops being great and starts to feel like they condescend to the player. Bright colours, simple faces, high pitched noises- Oh god the noises!! I’ll expand on the sounds later but I’m still on the visuals. I’ve heard the game described as looking like Claymation, which isn’t wrong, but my immediate thought was that it looked like cheap plastic. And after watching it again and again as I discussed it with a friend, this opinion stuck.

-tell me this doesn’t look like claymation; this isn’t a game, it’s an animated short film-

  You know how shiny and tacky cheap plastic usually looks? Imagine an entire game like that; an entire world like that. Fans of anime may understand what I say next, but there is a large element of “chibi” in this new game. Large head, tiny body. It’s often seen in short 4 minute spin offs of popular series.

-as you can see, chibi is hardly meant to be taken seriously-

-just to hammer things home-

  So shiny plastic, silly chibi art with a soulless expression. Oh yeah, that. Link’s eyes have zero soul behind them. Zero. He’s a freakin’ monster. Have you seen those Funko Pops? You know how empty they look? Some have said it somehow reflects the original game’s art again, but back then they didn’t have the technology to make him look soulless and young me always thought he looked determined; it was really cool.

-determined; dead inside-

Okay, so I said I would try and be fair, and I have shat upon the plasticine toy-box long enough, so here’s what is good visually. The areas are actually really nice. 

Ignoring the nail varnish sheen on everything, things are really detailed. There is an unfortunate trend in games, likely due to technical limitations, to have flat textures. Basically, imagine the difference between a tile or wood panel floor, and a picture of a tile or wood panel floor. But this game looks to have really tried in these areas. The grass looks thick and lush, tiles look like more than a photograph on the floor and even the flat flowers on the ground look decent. Just a shame it all looks like LEGO. Actually, a LEGO Zelda game would be awesome. But this is not that.

  I haven’t explained that very well, it’s an area that I am new at but I will say that clearly a lot of care has gone into the assets and the world. It is not a lazy game in any way.

-don’t tell me those trees and rocks and- well, everything, don’t look like LEGO-

Next I’m going to talk about the sound. First of all, I’m convinced that they have artificially increased the pitch of Link’s voice so it is painfully sharp to the ears. I’ll admit, I have an unusual sensitivity to lights and sound and thus I prefer darker colours and quieter sounds; I avoid clubs like the plague and not just because I’ll likely catch it there. So maybe, just maybe, I’m noticing something that won’t be a problem for most, and is just unfortunate for me. And let’s ignore that it doesn’t match the darker tone of the game.

  And the music? Also quite high pitched. And super cheery. It doesn’t have either the dreamlike or dark tones that could be expected (and just thinking of how it could be dreamlike gives me shivers; it could be so good) but is instead inanely cheery. In fact, I hope they sped everything up for the trailer and the pitch is just an unfortunate side-effect.

  On the plus side, the trailer opens with a cool cinematic and I swear the music changes from a nice, cheerful rendition (I don’t dislike cheerful in-and-of-itself) of the Zelda main theme to the death squeals of various instruments that I mentioned before. On top of that, it ends on a really nice vocal version of the LA theme, Ballad of the Wind Fish. If the trailer had been the cinematic and that closing song alone then I would be beyond excited about the remake. Thank heaven it wasn’t, I’m not sure my love of the series could survive such a plummeting disappointment.

-and here’s the actual trailer for your perusal- 

So I’ll finish here. I was originally very pleased, excited even that they had decided to remake what was a favourite, underrated and apparently forgotten game, but I kept my expectations low because I knew what to expect from these companies. I thought I did anyway. I was still disappointed. I thought I had prepared for the worst. Still, at least it gave me something to write about.

  But, the game has clearly had a lot of work put into it and gameplay-wise it actually looks to flow really well so I’m sure it controls like a treat. But the visuals and music are too big of a deal for me to let slide; if it keeps up like this then it could literally be painful for me to play. Still, games do change a lot from the initial trailer to its release and I even put forth an idea of why the sound may hurt me so much here. Maybe the final game will be a lot better. Unfortunately, the things I want to be done in games and such rarely are, and I am often alone in my complaints.

And finally, yes I am aware that the famous and incredibly popular Wind Waker entry in the series also had similar complaints and became, as I said, incredibly popular. I wasn’t a part of that crowd, I was too young and honestly, Link’s Awakening was the only Zelda game I had actually played at that time. 

[si--ha]

finished nirvana initiative last night

i enjoyed it overall but god damn...i have a lot of complaints

idk where to begin.

i guess i should start with what i like:

-the somniums felt a little easier and less trial and error

-the models looked a lot better

-tama

what i didn’t like:

-honestly the somniums just kept coming with very little breathing room in between. mostly on mizuki’s side. ryuki’s was much better with the pacing. 

-the twist. the timeline twist confused the shit out of me and took me a while to figure out. it’s stupid that bibi looked exactly like mizuki in the past. how fucking confusing is that. 

-also the sisters twist was kind of meh imo...i love bibi and all but idk. not sure how to feel about it. i will say that this game lowkey ruined mizuki for me. i think it was much funnier with her being 12 and having super strength with no explanation. and to learn she was adopted? doesn’t fit shoko and renju’s story very well. why adopt a kid when u dont even want to take care of one?? also she looks like shoko?? idk it was silly

-also date disappeared for 6 years and just fucked around with amnesia the whole time? that felt fucking stupid and cheap. no one recognized him? and when he finally comes back, no one gives too much of a shit. mizuki, that’s ur adoptive dad. you’d think she wouldve shown a little more emotion. fuck

-also why the fuck is date wearing a mask?? come on man. i love how he looks like that, but it’s just stupid. even his voice changed. they never addressed why he sounds like saito again.

-the killer this time was pretty intimidating until he just...got killed himself. and his backstory and all was interesting but idk. he didn’t feel impactful as a villain. i know saito only came in at the last minute in the first game, but it just kind of worked since u find out all of the events in the game were taking place bc he was pulling the strings in the background all along.

-the final somnium also didnt feel impactful. felt too easy as well. amame was right tho. that bitch deserved to die. queen shit

-the somniums in general weren’t as impactful to me. the only one that made me cry was shoma’s. ALSO i got his ending first and it made me fucking cry. i hated komeji at first but grew to love him in that ending. and then guess what FUCK YOU he dies in the true route. 

-the other endings were pretty fucking lame tho. genny just randomly dies bc boss sends SAT for no reason? i get trying to apprehend genny but why mizuki?? also we never got to see genny’s face. or his skin. since his skin is hard, im assuming he has ichthyosis like me!!!!!!!!! give me that representation!!!!!!!!!

-one last thing that bugged me were the puzzle codes in the game. a lot were easy but a few just weren’t very intuitive enough. im not a total idiot but i struggled with a couple. but that’s not that big of a deal 

other than that, i did enjoy the game overall. i like most of the new characters. i knew kizzy and lien would get together and i approve. i absolutely love how he carried her and helped her dance again. beautiful 10/10 moment.

im pretty biased towards the first game tbh. i found it to be a masterpiece. everything perfectly came together at the end. in this game, i think im left with more questions than answers. all this game did was reinforce how amazing the first game is

[bandhyukoh]

[SSENSE] HYUKOH is the Post-K-Pop generation

Disclaimer: this interview belongs to SSENSE, find the source here.  By Yae-Jin Ha

“I don’t think we were fundamentally wired to be showmen,” says guitarist HyunJae Lim of HYUKOH matter-of-factly. It is quite an unexpected statement coming from someone with millions of fans worldwide. But it is exactly this sense of nonchalance, humbleness—and acute self-reflexivity—that make this indie band so refreshingly charming in the Korean music scene dominated by K-Pop and hip hop.

Comprised of four 93ers—Hyuk Oh (lead singer), HyunJae Lim (guitar), DongGeon Im (bass), and InWoo Lee (drums)—HYUKOH has enjoyed a sweeping ascent since their debut in 2014. With piercings, tattoos, and his signature oversize gray suit, Oh defiantly bellows songs about the anxiety of youth. Their nonconformist aesthetic and their don’t-give-a-fuck attitude are an anomaly in the Korean mainstream media populated with cookie-cutter celebrities. TV producers find them endearing, although the boys do not understand their enthusiasm—nor could they care less, for that matter. In this social context, the ascension of an indie rock band like HYUKOH is an incredible and invigorating feat. But it also reveals an audience that is increasingly interested in musicians that they can relate to on a personal level. HYUKOH has become the face of the “Give Up Generation,” a self-ascribed term for Korean millennials that shines a light on the crushing effect of the country’s competitive job market, expensive education system, and institutionalized elitism.

Riding the success of their latest album 23, the band embarked on their first world tour this past year. When I caught up with them backstage at one of their last shows in Seoul, they seemed like typical, goofy 24-year-olds you would find in the streets of Hongdae, casually joking about Eminem and Kanye West. But their presence on stage, in front of thousands of fans, was anything but juvenile.

I was expecting it to be a standing concert so I was quite surprised to find myself in a seated venue. Hyuk: There are definitely some pluses to performing at a seated venue. And the 360-degree rectangular stage that came with the venue was something we had been wanting to try out for a long time. The downside with a seated venue is that people can’t dance along to the music. It would be awkward to be the only one dancing. My preference would be to perform at a standing concert that allows alcohol.

Have you experimented with any other kinds of setups in the past? Hyuk: For our first concert, we had a film projected onto a thin screen and we performed behind it throughout the whole concert.

Some of the fans must have been disappointed though, since they couldn’t really see you guys. Hyuk: Yeah, we got a lot of complaints. But we tried it again. We thought if we made it bigger and better, we would be able to pull it off.

Any interesting episodes from the tour? HyunJae: Usually, a Korean audience doesn’t dance to “Wi Ing Wi Ing.” It’s not exactly a dance-friendly song. I think it was in Boston—we were performing at this small, bar-like space. There were a couple Americans dancing to the song in a 2/4 beat in the front row. So that was quite memorable. And the Japanese fans… They tend to not make any sound during the performance. It felt as though they were listening to us with their soul. Hyuk: We’ve been raffling off this cap that I’m wearing, designed by my friends at Dadaism Club, during a few of the shows in Korea. The first person who had won this cap—I found out she ended up selling it.

Wait, how did you find out? Hyuk: Someone kept tagging me on Instagram so I checked. Initially I thought it was fake. In the caption this girl was like, “Look what I got, isn’t it cute?,” and in the comment feed, her friends asked where she got it and she wrote that she bought it from a Chinese fan. HyunJae: Do you know how much she bought it for? Hyuk: I have no idea.

Before meeting up with you, I checked out an episode from the Korean variety show “Livin’ the Double Life” that you have been starring in. And there was a scene where you guys get into a sort of an argument. HyunJae mentions that he would like to spend six months to just work on an album. And you respond to it by saying no, we should cater to the fast-changing market. Hyuk: This is the problem with K-Drama. They splice together scenes and dramatize everything.

That’s what makes it fun though right? HyunJae: What I meant by that statement was that I wished I had the time and luxury to just focus on making music. Of course, you have to be conscious of people’s music consumption pattern. But unless you put out something fresh, you will jeopardize your longevity. At the end of the day, when it comes to music, if you can’t show that you are capable of bringing something more to the table, you become stale. Hyuk: I do see HyunJae’s points and I know that, one day, the time will come when we will need to slow down and come up with something completely new. But the global music market is changing at a dizzying speed. there are so many musicians. People aren’t that interested in us. As with anything, we are just one of people’s many interests. So I think that right now isn’t the time to slow down. Right now is the time to do more. But we didn’t even fight that day. They made it seem like HyunJae stormed out of the room when in reality he had just left to smoke a cig. It’s all fake, all a lie.

So the variety show experience hasn’t been so positive. Hyuk: I had only agreed to do it for the fans. But I don’t think I would want to do another variety show. I don’t know about these guys, but I don’t think I’m a good fit. Maybe I’ll try documentary next time.

But I think the reason why people like seeing you in these variety shows is because you don’t quite fit into that glitzy celebrity mold. HyunJae: But at the end of the day in these kinds of shows, you have to come out and try to appeal to the mass’s interests. Be showy. But I don’t think we were fundamentally wired to do that kind of thing.

You mentioned that the title of your concert, “How to Find True Love and Happiness,” is actually the theme of your next album—that you want to document your journey towards finding true love and happiness with your new music. How did this theme come about? Hyuk: There was a bar on Pappelallee in Berlin— Near Mauer Park? HyunJae: Yeah, the dreary one. Hyuk: We were staying near that area. Norman, this Berlin-based mixing engineer that we worked with for 23, took us to an OG pub around there. We were smoking when I saw this exhibition poster with “How to Find True Love and Happiness” written on it. It wasn’t anything special, but I was going through a hard period at the time, so that must be the reason why those words stuck with me. But I chose this as the theme of our concert as a way to ponder over them throughout the shows.

You guys have been on a tour since the summer. Now, you are on the last stretch. Do you think you have gotten closer to finding “True Love and Happiness”? InWoo: I think I just need to rest first before I can do or think about anything else. HyunJae: It feels as though we have been swept under a big wind, looking back at the past few months. Personally, my attitudes towards performing have changed a lot. It used to be that I would approach performing as standing in front of people to show something, but now I just try to enjoy it and hope that the positive energy will resonate with the crowd. And I have experienced that happening. I don’t know if I have gotten closer to finding true love and happiness though.

The topic of love and happiness seems to be quite a departure from your previous albums, which tended to be on the dark and depressing side. Hyuk: We have talked about love in our albums before, but not one of those typical love stories. Same goes for happiness. They are something I do want to address and find. As you know, love and happiness are universal themes. They are something everyone knows. Even babies know what they are. People say one must love in order to find happiness, but happiness is so subjective. For me, personally, if I can find love and happiness, then I would deem that to be a successful life. Ultimately, wealth, fame, and success aside, it is rare to find people who have achieved both love and happiness. So yeah, I want to find them.

Yae-Jin Ha is a writer and editor based in Berlin. Photography: Dasom Han and Seoul Studio.

[telephoneguy]

i mean aladdin has always used indian influences and indian culture in the story and the original story came from china in the first place

this is got really long im so sorry, i also don’t know what this ask initially responded to, so im just Giving All My Thoughts On Disney And Culture

disclaimer that i’m tryna be as accurate and factual as i can without trivializing or minimizing the opinions and valid complaints/concerns from the people that this conversation actually is about they being arabic middle eastern and desi people, i’m just a chinese girl with lots of Thoughts And Opinions and i happen to know way too much about disney

oh ik disney’s (esp disney animation’s) relationship w other cultures has been Spotty at the most, lot of homogenizing, lot of misrepresentations, but i give them credit for trying esp when other studios would not (think about all the knock off animated movies that came out during the disney renaissance, none of them even made the effort to do something original that was immersed in another culture, like mulan and how it used chinese history was problematic but it was still respectful and ridiculously powerful representation for me as a chinese woman when i was a kid). this whole thing wouldn’t be as big of an issue if jasmine didn’t serve as important representation in the first place.

the original aladdin story as told in 1001 nights originated in the middle east but was set in china, though the names in the story were definitely not chinese (mustapha, badroulbadour) so already there’s some cultural confusion there. the deal with the 1992 animated disney aladdin was that they used the setting as literally setting, just straight up a place where a story was being told. the disney story as is could have been told literally anywhere just lifting the basic plot points of “poor kid finds magical object with magical being inside to make him rich and falls in love with the daughter of the most powerful man in the area while that man’s advisor try’s to break them apart”. you could take that concept and set in the world of avatar the last airbender or in in the future or in some other random setting. since the story is so basic they decided to a. honor and adapt the specific story of aladdin and the magical lamp from 1001 nights by b. make it accurate setting it in a general middle east-y area.

ALSO AS A SIDENOTE THE PRODUCTION HISTORY FOR DISNEY ALADDIN WAS GREATLY INFLUENCED BY THE PRODUCTION OF THE MOVIE THE THIEF AND THE COBBLER. A PAST DISNEY ANIMATOR WAS WORKING ON HIS PASSION PROJECT THE THIEF AND THE COBBLER AND JEFFREY KATZENBERG SAID TO LITTLE MERMAID (and future moana) DIRECTORS JOHN MUSKER AND RON CLEMENTS “HEY LETS SEE IF WE CAN MAKE MONEY OFF THIS” AND MUSKER AND CLEMENTS SAID “OK”. AND ALADDIN PROCEEDED TO MAKE LOTS OF MONEY.

ok so to create that “general middle east-y area” setting of aladdin the production team for disney animation combined elements and aesthetics from different parts of the middle east both modern and more ancient. i see old descriptions of persia and the ottoman empire (the offices of “sultan and “grand vizer” were turkish/ottoman) as some of the main ones. they did also use indian influences the most notable i think obviously is the taj mahal as reference for the sultan and jasmine’s palace. in doing so and creating the fictional country of agrabah which was a hodgepodge of all these different cultures, making it really hard to unanimously pin down any real place as its setting. that in turn makes casting a live action adaptation of this already culturally confused movie really difficult.

to my knowledge the actor playing aladdin, mena massoud is actually arabic. sidenote he’s also a newcomer to hollywood which is always exciting especially for people/actors of color. people are upset that naomi scott, jasmine’s actress is indian (half indian, i may add) not arabic and her casting implies that indian and arabic people are interchangeable, which obviously they are not and should not be. it should also be noted that “indian” is not some monolithic group, it’s very diverse just as the term “asian” or “african” or “latinx” might be. so be careful with that. the concept of any sort of racial or ethnic identity is super fluid and something that a lot of people (myself included lmao) kind of struggle with and have trouble defining. but back on track, will smith as the genie i’m pretty down with, i think he’s a great comedian and especially with robin williams having passed and james monroe iglehart winning a tony as the genie in aladdin on broadway, the precedent of the genie being depicted by a black actor is great.

you also shouldn’t be calling naomi scott white. she’s half indian, and that’s a very real and important part of her identity and calling her “white” to feel good about dragging someone on the internet is straight up erasure. you shouldn’t call her white unless you want to call other actors like zendaya, ruth negga, chloe bennet, and so many others who i’m forgetting white, which you wouldn’t. and so you shouldn’t call naomi scott white either.

given how the story of aladdin all the way back to its original roots as a short story is so confused in terms of culture, everything about the live action disney aladdin should have been very careful. and it’s also important in my opinion to remember that aladdin is set in a very fictional place that is essentially a stew of aesthetics and historical influences from the general geographic area of the middle east and india. every complaint from arabic and middle eastern people about naomi scott’s casting is valid and they should be understood. if there’s one thing to take away from all these ridiculously long paragraphs i wrote, it’s that. i just wanted to also address aladdin’s origins as a product of the disney company and the live action’s subsequent status as an adaptation of an adaptation. it’s all complicated. open dialogue is important.