#and a job and a life i'm happy with

[shredsandpatches]

tfw you ask for tips on Facebook for getting back into singing after covid and the first person to reply is like "enjoy your premature cardiovascular death a month from now or lifetime of long covid-induced immobility"

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Hey hey hey may 31th anon! How's 2024 going? ☆ヾ(*´▽｀)ﾉ This year I have for you a leaked Sherlock season 5 image. Thinking of you!! And everyone!!

[uncanny-tranny]

The Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) is planning on changing their regulations for telehealth prescriptions of controlled substances. However, they have opened comments up for people to voice their opinions. You can submit a formal anonymous comment HERE. The comment period ends on March 31st, 2023.

This is an important issue for those who are prescribed controlled substances (e.g., testosterone or ADHD medication) through telehealth, which means it can and will impact trans people on testosterone and a ton of others if this goes through.

[vaguely-concerned]

lucanis truly has a near terminal case of burned out golden child syndrome. caterina fucked both of these kids over so incredibly bad with the dynamic she enforced there, with illario being labled the perpetual fuckup kid where lucanis 'could do no (would never be allowed to do) wrong'. the way he admits in the first coffee date scene that the only thing that happened when he showed he could carry the weight of expectation was that more weight was added makes me so sad. you can hear it in caterina's voice in his intro mission that she's incredibly proud of him, but this is clearly a leandra and hawke situation where that pride never translates into relief or resolution or unconditional warmth or understanding or anything that really helps.

[mwagneto]

for the love of god please help me

[rad-roche]

warmup doodle of my bg3 character

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

when I took a month off work I was lowkey worried I'd come back and find everyone had been fine without me and I wasn't needed at all (because being terrible at every previous job I've had did some ✨damage✨ to my self confidence)

but that is not what happened

I have never encountered someone so fucking happy to see me as my boss' wife was on my first day back, her face lit up like it was christmas, she was practically jumping for joy because now that I'm back she doesn't have to do the ops team's fucking timesheets anymore

I have been told by one of the ops guys that my leave of absence had caused a genuine rift in the boss' marriage because his wife hated doing my job so much they were actively fighting about it

to be clear, his wife is lovely, she doesn't usually throw a shit fit about just anything, it was just that my job is just so fucking annoying that she hated every second of it, and that was the most validating shit I have ever experienced in my LIFE

and the reason she was pissed off at my boss/her husband about it is because he's too soft on his crew and doesn't make them all report their hours for the week

which, as you can imagine, makes building their timesheets extremely fucking difficult

it basically turns the whole process into a puzzle that I have to solve using roughly three different sources of information, one of which is the boss himself who isn't always easy to get ahold of when he's on a site

this puzzle is made even more difficult by the fact that a glitch in our form system keeps messing up the dates on the timecards, so I have to cross reference the time cards from the two (2) ops team members, who actually DO fill out their forms, with the roster, but my boss often changes the roster at the last minute without telling me or noting it down, so then I have to cross reference with the reports they have to submit for certain ongoing jobs because they'll have correct dates and also a list of who was present (if they were doing one off smalltime jobs that week I'll have no physical records and will rely entirely on the boss' memory to confirm dates and staff numbers, unless I can get ahold of one of the ops team members themselves and there's only one who will reliably communicate with me but only when he's not currently on a site)

I tried to explain this process to boss' wife before I left and, looking horrified, she asked me 'is there no way to streamline this?' I replied 'this is streamlined'

as far as I'm aware, as long as I've worked there, there has only been a handful of times people were paid incorrectly, and it was because I was not given correct information by the boss, in the time I was gone, his wife told me that she had incorrectly logged several pays because of this broken ass system

so, as you could imagine, my ego is through the fucking roof right now, I am GOOD at this bullshit job, I took an impossible system and made it work, I am playing on hard mode and killing it, in a field I had zero experience in before taking this job other than a natural inclination for organising and scheduling

and to be clear, I love this job, the boss is too soft on his staff but he's a good guy, he makes us all feel valued and appreciated, he paid me above my award rate, he's absurdly accommodating, and I have an insane amount of freedom to do what I want with company files

I may be working with a bullshit system but I can take naps in the office whenever I want and tell my boss off when he's being too soft (one time his wife literally started clapping when I told him off for sending clients their reports before they'd paid for them) and I get to control when I work, and whether I work from home or the office (which is GREAT when my back flares up)

I might not get many hours (only 16 hours per week) because the company is so small and I run out of things to do because I've streamlined everything (boss literally called me TOO EFFICIENT), but he'll give me those 16 even if I spend half of it playing solitaire and watching youtube

so just, yeah, it feels so good to be confident in my work, to feel valued and appreciated and like I'm actually successful at something after being handed dud jobs for years that I wasn't cut out for, and now knowing that what I'm doing is actually genuinely hard but I've been doing it anyway without fail, makes me feel good!

so tldr; taking a month off work taught me I have phenomenal job security because if my boss ever fires me his wife might actually fucking kill him

[gilgil-machine]

Like seriously, I'm so tired of people hating on Gil (even though sometimes it's quite justified and sometimes I hate him too) but also not accepting him outside fsn trilogy or treating him like completely different entity or treating his character development like something bad or saying that it was made just for profit. And yeah, sure, the last bit is technically true, because of his character popularity Nasu decided to give him a backstory, give him some depth and meaning instead of just leaving him the way he was, a shallow villain from eroge game, so why treating this development like it's a bad thing?

[x-i-l-verify]

An art commission from the very lovely and talented @pppuri illustrating two of the main characters from my Dream SMP vampire AU, which features copious amounts of worldbuilding, found family feels, slavery, hurt/comfort, dark SBI, and BBH Dormouse and Dream the Emerald being the most dynamic of unlikely duos.

[mayasaura]

Kiriona Gaia/Her Divine Highness AU where Gideon escapes from the Ninth to join the Cohort, and gets claimed by John only a year or two before canon.

The lyctor trials happen approximately on schedule, but this time it's a combo event! Who Wants To Be A Lyctor, and The Bachelor Nine Houses: a chance to win the hand of Her Divine Highness Kiriona Gaia, only daughter of the Emperor Undying!

There are two main reasons for The Bachelor competition, one Gideon knows about and the other she doesn't:

One: She's a plant to manipulate the lyctor trials. John's a bit more invested this time around, after the whole baby plot reveal left him bereft and short-handed. He wants Gideon to get to know all of the candidates and report back to him.

Two: John thought it would be funny and is trying (and badly failing) to wingman for his socially awkward daughter.

Gideon is John's plant in the lyctor competition, but the marriage contest is a setup for Gideon. Here you go, kid, your very own fantasy romcom scenario, now will you finally make a move on that girl you're physically incapable of shutting up about?

[lucienarcheron]

me: I'm working so hard at my big girl job!!!! really putting in the effort!!!

also me: *passionately writing smut and otp having all these feelings on company time* working so hard!!!!!

[herunswithscissors]

I'm the wife in my marriage.

It's funny to me anyway. Funny to me because my wife is the very picture of femininity, loving, caring, sexy, pretty, beautiful wife, loving and adored by all her children. And a satisfied and hot for her husband.

But to me she is beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love her and despair!

And yet she chose me.

So to all the hella ladies who rejected my advances? Y'all missed out. Because she saw in me what way too many people couldn't. And sometimes still can't.

And she wants to run my life. And the lives of our whole family. And we all kinda love it. Mostly. But it ain't worth the headache or heartache of fighting her on anything. She's Daddy's little princess and her mother is the loving matron and queen bitch of the family and we all stay in line. Mostly. I love to do my own thing too much for my own good. But it keeps our fights about stupid stuff instead of my weed use again.

(I'm dead ass functional and present from 6am on till I finally get my insomniac ass too sleep while high just to escape the constant anxiety about my sick daughter's upcoming surgery, my dying suegro, my mourning wife, disturbed autistic son, special needs princess Daddy's girl I'm spoiling her to death to make her just as powerful and ungovernable mother and it's working too well already. Have you ever negotiated with a hostile bitchy entitled as fuck child? )

Anyway, you wouldn't know it looking at me or talking normal chitchat, but I'm pretty fucking manly. In the way my culture defines manliness. I'm not very masculine. But I'm very manly.

I'm feminine as fuck in my household. I mother the kids, help their emotional development, work on my wife's emotional and mental well-being, and I'm the one never in the mood for sex. And I do every single thing she says. And then she does the discipline and management of the family's affairs. And she's the one who has to seduce me. Did I mention she was sexy as fuck? (While I'm awkward as fuck every time we even roleplay.) And a horny Latina. (That's why these horny sexy, nice, Latinos are taking over. It's natural selection. The Whites just can't compete and as usual are getting their panties in a twist over not being able to compete even with everything in their favor to out reproduce them all but it was too many kids for a nuclear family to handle Whites.) So beautiful hot queen sexy as fuck Latina seduces me every night. #blessed. So fuck yeah I don't wanna fuck up this arrangement. So I do everything she tells me to and treat her real good and let her win every argument and over apologize. Except when I make a rare exception to make a stand in something important or just to make some trouble and have some fun.

Oh yeah. She's a clean freak 😮‍💨 But she's an impatient Latina housewife perfectionist clean freak. So she gets mad at my perfectly good job when company isn't ever coming job and tells me to stop even trying to clean. Go play Minecraft with your daughter to keep her occupied.🤣

I have the best living situation ever. I'll be your bitch my bitchy highness. Just please keep playing with my hair on your lap. Oh, and that sucking my dick the way you do and being right 95% of the time on judgement calls.

So yeah I'm the wife.

And I got a pretty good life.

[tbh-entp]

My ENTP dad's employees told him the reason why I'm single and not birthing grandkids is that he raised me to be too independent and not take shit from men because he treats my INTJ mom so well.

and i know they didn't quite mean it as a positive because this came up in comparing photos of the grandkids and them tell him why he's got none... but it's a little twisted because what they're saying is that their daughters aren't being treated well...?

[rudnitskaia]

DOBBY IS FREE 😭😭😭

[pardonmydelays]

i have a confession to make: i'm actually doing better than i ever was

[avelanlorelay]

My Jurdan fics in Ao3 (tfota)

Dernière Danse

In progress | post-canon | post The Queen of Nothing | fluff and angst | drama

With the threat of a revolt against the High Queen, Jude and Cardan's peace is at an end. She wants to solve the problem in person, but Cardan can't allow Jude to risk her life. Marriage is about trust and understanding and love helps to overcome difficulties. But everything gets harder when there's always someone conspiring against it.A story of adventure, jealousy, intrigue, fate and curses.Not all fairy tales have a Happily Ever After. But they are all about true love.

Please, Come Back and Tell Me You Still Love Me

Completed | modern au | angst with a happy ending | a shot with 3 chapters

“If you want to go, then go, I won’t stop you.” Cardan managed to say, treacherous voice sounding hoarse, Jude’s hands gripping the door handle. “But if you go, know that you need never come back, forget I exist. Forget everything.”

Please, come back. Please, let go of that damn door and tell me you still love me. Come back to me, Jude.

He pleaded in his mind for a long moment where she remained motionless.

Then Jude turned the knob and walked away without looking back, the door slamming with a bang behind her.

Fireflies

Completed | one shot | romantic fluff | post canon | post The Queen of Nothing | on tumblr

“I am the one who desperately wants you.” He stroked her cheeks in his long-fingered hand. “Say what you want and I’ll give you anything, anything you wish. If you asked me for the stars, I’d go up to the sky and knock them down for you. I’d make the planet stop spinning, Jude. Just ask and I will give you everything I have and steal what I don’t have.”

“I don’t wish for anything. All I want is you. It is more than enough.” She slid her fingers under his chin and pulled him to her, their mouths intertwining effortlessly.

Cardan steals Jude from the feast to show a surprise. Based on the deleted scene from The Queen of Nothing.

The Bodyguard

In progress | modern au | bodyguard romance | romantic thriller

When Jude Duarte was given the task of protecting rising rockstar Cardan Greenbriar from a dangerous stalker, her intuition already told her it would be a tricky mission. But the capricious, irresponsible and annoyingly attractive boy seems to make everything even more difficult.

As if being threatened by a crazy stalker who wants to destroy his life wasn’t enough trouble to deal with, Cardan Greenbriar could never have imagined that having a scary bodyguard and a breathtaking girl would make him even more out of his mind.

None of them were prepared for what was to come.

Love, that force that compels us to be sometimes better and often worse

Completed | The Prisoner's Throne spoilers | a shot with 4 chapters

Some deleted scenes of Jurdan from The Prisoner's Throne.