#and YOU that said I was lazy and a slob for having difficulty keeping things organized
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someone pointed out something I did the other day that I didn’t really notice I do and then I was like….. yeah why do I do that and turns out it’s stimming. And apparently I do it. A lot.
#discovering behaviors that you’ve been doing your whole life that people found weird and annoying is stimming is fun!#… haha. ha.#person at work last night: is your shoulder feeling ok? I saw you kind of holding it#me who is constantly putting my left hand on my right shoulder: uhhhhhh…. no. I don’t know why I do that#me googling it about 30 mins laters: 🧍♀️#I mean on the one hand it’s nice that they’re adhd behaviors rather than like…. moral deficiencies I guess#but now I can’t unsee it#it’s an innocuous behavior that is going to make me super self conscious now#I’ve seen… very few (I can think of 2 on the top of my head) docs that I know or work with#that I’ve seen do stuff like this. but they’re both men and they’re both clearly hyperactive adhd#maybe other people are medicated or just better at masking#it’s nice to have a nice to a lot of the struggles of my entire life honestly#but it’s not like it makes it not a struggle or makes people mroe sympathetic#like my husband has the classic hyperactive adhd#and my forgetfulness and messiness drives him absolutely crazy#but his hyperactivity and emotional volatility drives ME crazy#and telling my mother about the diagnosis and what it means and she’s like#’oh I totally have that too!’ yeah maybe you do#but see it was YOU that told me I was a bad person for forgetting things#and YOU that said I was lazy and a slob for having difficulty keeping things organized#and YOU that would smack my hands when I’d pick at my nails and tell me it’s a disgusting hav#and YOU that STILL tells people that your physician daughter ‘gives up on everything!’#…….. do I have some bitterness to work out maybe#🤔#what was this about?#oh yeah anyway. I hope people don’t notice I do this shit#and if they do they don’t know what it means#….uh.#personal?
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