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popi-the-fatui · 4 years

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The Night Demon

Akutagawa (BSD) x GN! Reader

Warnings: past injuries, blood, a wee bit of angst. No beta we die like Oda. Akutagawa supremacy you all.

Authors Note: This is the first time I write for a show, and also the first time since highschool that I write something of this length in english (yes, it’s not my first language and it shows). Anyways, of course my first one-shot would be for the angry anemic gremlin as I love him very very much. Also, @theodora3022 you fuel my Akutagawa obssession so if this sucks I’m blaming you (jk... unless?)

The path of your recovery had not been an easy one, to no one’s surprise: taking a sucker-punch (worth the considerable sum of 1 million yen) to the head from an extravagant multi-millionaire really can take a toll on the body. Not that Akutagawa didn’t know that, given the fact that he also had faced the wrath of the Guild’s leader, but still he couldn’t help the one-hour-long reprimand he gave you once you finally woke up in a Port Mafia’s hospital bed after being out for almost a month.

Was his concerned angry scolding helping with your throbbing headache (that, by the way, was getting worse with every word he said)? Nope.

Would you jump in front of your boyfriend to block a glowing fist using your face just to see the adorable angry pout he made after finishing his speech all over again? Most definitely.

Now, it’s been two months since you left the hospital, and though half of your face is still purple and touch sensitive, you're in way better shape than before (not that you know how you looked like, but the face Akun made when you asked if he had any photos of your face while you were unconscious gave you the hint that it wasn’t a pretty picture and that you probably shouldn’t touch that topic again. There goes your morbid curiosity).

Of course, your boyfriend has been attached to the hip with you all through your recovery, partly because he is afraid that you’ll pull out some borderline suicidal thing like that again (Dazai-san would be proud, though), and partly because THE one time he left you alone to go on a mission he came back to your body collapsed on the floor. Apparently bending down to pick the remote is considered “sudden movement” when you have been punched in the face.

But you’re not complaining: Akun’s company is always quality company, and though he has a bizarre unique way of showing how much he cares and longs for you (Exhibit A: all of the pictures he has of you in his phone are actually group pictures he has cropped out so they only have you in them (except for that one picture you have with Dazai, but we don’t talk about that)), you know that this man ADORES you and would go to the ends of earth for you, even if that means sacrificing that magnificent and sublime time of the day when he gets to dote on you after dealing with whatever task the Port Mafia asked him to do, a.k.a. bedtime. Why? Because with you sleeping face up and passed out in painkillers, cuddles and pillow talk are the equivalent of hugging a dead amoeba, and though Ryunosuke Akutagawa is awkward, he is not THAT awkward.

But that night you hadn’t taken your painkillers, given the fact that you’d had a doctor’s check-up earlier that day, and you have been cleared from the meds to see how well you were doing without those happy little pills. And though the pain was tolerable, it was still there, so you went to sleep earlier than your usual hour (also, Akun was on a mission and the remote had fallen to the floor and you really didn’t want to scare him again but there was also a limit to how many murder documentaries you could watch without having the power to change the channel).

You woke up later in the early hours of the night to the feeling of pure dread that you have when you know someone is watching you.

Of course, you didn’t open your eyes: you didn’t want to face whatever entity you know was looming over your supposedly sleeping body. Or at least you tried not to open them until you felt a long, cold finger reaching the underside of your... nose?

You slowly opened your eyes, afraid that if you made any sudden movements you would disturb the eerie calm that surrounded the mannerisms of the creature (?), and once your pupils finally got used to the gloom of the room, you had to suppress your laugh, because right above you, supported by Rashoumon and holding a finger under your nose, was none other than your boyfriend.

“Akun?” you whispered.

“Yes, dove?” he said back just as low, still not breaking his composure.

“What, and I cannot stretch this enough, in the everloving hell are you doing?”

“I’m checking your vitals”

“Oh, cool. Wait, what?” you asked dumbfounded, finally breaking whatever trance you both were in.

“I was making sure you were still breathing, dove” Akun said as it was the most obvious thing in the world to check if your significant other was not dead in their sleep. And they say romance is dead.

“...”

“Akun?”

“Yes, dove?”

“Why were you making sure I was still breathing?”

He didn’t give you an answer. Instead, you could see his face darken (thank you, moonlight) while he turned his face to the side with a pout.

“Akun, look at me, please”

With a sigh, he turned his face to you, and the worry in his eyes broke your heart a little. “Does this have anything to do with my accident?” you asked him, voice laced with a sweetness fueled by his concern, because even though he will never say it outloud, you knew that not that deep inside he blamed himself for what had happened to you. “Love, you know that what happened was 100% my decision, right? And I would do it again and again and again if it means you leave the fight safe and sound”.

“But I can take it! I’ve had way worse! And I know that you’re not weak, please don’t take me wrong, but I know pain, I’ve been through that before! For God’s sake, my job is literally being the Port Mafia’s dog!” Akutagawa was getting agitated by the minute. “And I was the one who had to see and HEAR your face break. I was the one who had to carry your limp body out of the fight. I was the one who had to see your face covered in your own blood. I was the one who had to hear the doctors talk about how you were unresponsive to their tests” Akutagawa was not holding back now, and you were able to see the track his tears were leaving in his pale cheeks. “And I was the one who had to see your face so beaten up that, even though the doctors had already finished their jobs, it was unrecognizable” he ended with a choked sob and that’s when it hit you: why he wouldn’t show you any pictures of the time you were in the hospital, or why he had accidentally unleashed Rashoumon when he found you passed out in the floor, or why he had taken only a few missions ever since you left the hospital.

You were his favourite person, he had almost lost you and what’s even worse, he had to watch.

“Akun, I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry” you managed to choke out through your sobs, tears of your own falling through your face. But he knew what you meant:

Sorry for worrying you like that. Sorry for scaring you. Sorry for almost leaving you alone.

“Promise me you’ll never pull something like that again. I can’t afford to lose you, dove. You don’t get to make me fall in love with you and then disappearing from my life just like that”

And if those words didn’t get to you, then his eyes sure did: even through the tears, you could see the desperation and fear in them that would get loose if something bad should happen to you, the person he loves the most. Your heart broke a little bit more.

“I promise” you could see how Akutagawa’s body relaxed at your statement. “But if there’s no stopping you from taking the blows for me, then you at least have to let me take care of you, and you also need to start taking better care of yourself, Akun. Don’t you think you have suffered enough, my love?” You added tenderly, using both hands to wipe out the remnants of his tears carefully.

“You know I can’t promise you that, and I can take it. I can be strong for both of us”

“Then at least try, for me. And are you calling me weak?” you teased, as the mood was much lighter than before after your promise.

“No, and I’ll think about it” You had to give it to the guy: he must really love you if he was willing to compromise with you over this.

“Why is it that I have to promise you something but you have to think about it?”

“I’m your superior”

“Are we not going to address the fact that you still have your finger in my nose even though the way I’m arguing with you right now should be enough proof that not only I’m breathing but alive?”

“...”

“Ok, I’ll try”

BONUS 1:

“Akun?”

“Yes, dove?”

“Why check up on me now? The accident was 3 months ago... Did something happen that made you worry?”

“...”

“This isn’t the first time you check on me while I’m sleeping”

“This isn’t the first time I check on you while you’re sleeping”

“You really need to work on your love language, my dear”

BONUS 2:

“Akun?”

“Yes, dove?”

“Did you know that at first I thought you were my sleep paralysis demon?”

“What?”

“Shut up and go to sleep” he scolded you, hugging your arm so he would not accidentally hurt your face. Not the best cuddle replacement but at least it didn’t feel like a dead amoeba anymore.

#you can take the headcanon that Akun calls his partner dove from my dead hands #also you may be able to notice that i cope with angst through humor #and sorry if this is anti climatic #i dont know how to write #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #ryunosuke akutagawa #akutagawa #akutagawa x reader #bsd x reader #fluff #angst #mine #finally i can use the mine tag in a fic

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seostudios · 4 years

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零 don’t cha

synopsis: who would’ve thought that dating you; the perfect it girl. would be this much trouble? definitely not nakamoto yuta as he decided to become someone more significant to you. was this your average fairy tale or was this a tragedy?

genre: fluff, angst pairings: yuta x fem!reader info: ceo!au, non-idol!au, ceo!yuta, ceo!model!music-producer!nct, rich!au, mentions of proclaimed death, cheating, brother!johnny, assistant!haechan!jungwoo wc: 6.8k

a/n: lol this is NOTHING LIKE WHAT U REQUESTED I’M SO SORRY..... i mean in the beginning it is but it just took a turn and i was writing whatever came to mind... like 2/3 of the story isn’t even a yuta x reader fic it’s jsut about everything else! i hate myself for doing u dirty but i hope u read this! it’s actually good (imo) since i worked awhile on it and it’s one of my longer fics.

She was fierce, elegant, beautiful. An unmatched package for any walking figure. Her person, running a multi-millionaire business by herself. Doing it for who? Her and Suki; the fiery red betta fish, placed on her nightstand. Yuta was just like you. Although Yuta is fierce, charming and quick on his feet, he still manages to be just the opposite around you. Yuta is on the right path, growing his empire little by little. You started as an insufficient secretary for an Electric Power Corporation but, those late nights and overtime paid off as you are now the CEO of your own retail company. Yuta waltzed into your business while he was an errand boy for Moon Taeil, a good friend and business partner of yours. Taeil had been worried about his future and decided he would've let Yuta go under your wing for a couple of weeks.

That brings you here, September 2019. The vibrant hues of autumn settling into the busy streets of Seoul. "Good morning Ms. Seo." The receptionist, Chaewon, greeted with a bubbly smile like any other day. "Yuta is waiting for you in your office," She informed, watching your small strides turn into a jog towards the elevator. When you reached the top floor where your office and meeting rooms were located, "Did you receive John's fax? He told me your father wanted an opinion!" Haechan, your assistant, asked swiftly, sticking to your hip as you stepped out of the conveyor, pushing his glasses up. "Oh, can you tell him to print whatever he sent and meet me for lunch? I heard he's back in the city." He nodded before running back towards his cubicle to make the requested phone call. That's when you were finally able to enter the office. "So... The rumours are true, you did decide to visit." You grin like a Cheshire cat plastered onto your face, you made long strides beside Yuta, who was staring into the traffic abyss below you two. He hummed before turning over to you; "How is my favourite person doing today?" He asked cheerfully before inviting himself to sit on your chair. Dragging yourself yet again, towards Yuta. You stood in front of him before seating yourself on top of the desk. He watched as your posture slumped and brows knit with a childish frown displayed. "Not well," He decided to sit up in his seat, hands combing through his dirty blond locks. "John's back in town, I'm pretty sure he brought Gyunghui." You roll your eyes unknowingly at the mention of your elder brother's proclaimed girlfriend. "I mean, who gets married after dating for 6 months?!" You groan, disappointed in your brother's decisions. Yuta's eyes crinkled at the corners before he threw his head back in laughter. Was this the reason you were so upset? "Y/N they've been friends for 10 years, I think it's safe to say they'll be okay." He responded with a smile. Straightening up, you huff and look the other way, crossing your legs. "Ugh, Whatever..." You look back down at him, "How is Jin Nyun?" Yuta's face fell, 'Can't we go one conversation without mentioning her?' He pondered momentarily before looking up at you with a soft smile, "She's amazing. She went out of town for work," He sighed, "Again." Your brows furrowed for an instant. He seemed upset. Why wouldn't he be? You'd be furious if your lover set off on multiple business trips every week. That's when it hit you, "What is she again? Job?" You question. "She's a photographer." Now that's bullshit. You knew for a fact, she wasn't big enough in the industry to leave on trips on multiple occasions for a photoshoot. "Why?" He asked, and you couldn’t explain the sense of innocence you felt from him, so oblivious to the situation he's in. "N-Nothing just wondered." You stutter out. He observed you quietly but decided to leave it like that. Raising your wrist, you glance towards your watch, "It's nearing noon." You whisper, Yuta looks up, "Plans?" he questioned with a brow raised. You nod "Lunch with Johnny," Smiling you reminisce back to when you and Johnny ruled overtop Seoul, with two successful companies in powerful industries. "I'll walk you out then," Yuta chimed, jumping from his seat, bringing his hand out for you to hold. "Oh! What a gentleman." You giggle, watching his cheeks tint in a shade of red.

⋆

"You sure there isn't going on between you and Yuta?" Your brother asked playfully, watching as Yuta walked you towards the small cafe at the end of the street. "He has a girlfriend, John," Can't a man and woman simply be friends? What's with him? "So?" He shrugs laughing before whining from the sharp pain in his calf where you managed to land a hand kick at. "What? From what I've heard from Taeil and Mark," Mark is Yuta's closest friend. "She's not all she says to be," He brushed it off his shoulder, "Maybe she's just a workaholic?" You suggest, "We both know an amateur photographer like her isn't that busy." The two of you erupt in a fit of knowing laughter. "You're too dangerous, Johnny," You kiss your teeth before being served the lunch you had Johnny order earlier. "But on a serious note, you should find a boyfriend." He makes a disgusted face, looking you up and down. "Before you age, aren't you almost 24?" He questioned, "Yea, but-" "Mom was pregnant with you at 24." He finishes, before receiving a well-deserved step on his big-toe. "What?! I just want what's best for you!" He barked, "You think that's Yuta! He's my friend and not to mention a business partner!" He lifted his hands, trying not to engage in an argument that might have you ignoring him (again) for months. "Alright, I know!" He sucks in his breath, "Lunch is almost over, kiddo. Try getting in that office and doing something extravagant as always." Johnny grabbed your empty plate and stacked them on top of one another, cleaning up as much possible. "You should have dinner with Gyunghui and me tonight? I'm sure you don't have plans." His eyes lit up at the mention of Gyunghui. It almost warmed your heart. "I wish! I gotta help Yuta clean his apartment tonight," Way to go Y/N! You just made the worst excuse possible. Yuta was probably going to be spending his evening kicking back and relaxing without Jin Nyun. Now that you've told Johnny this, you'd have to go through with it. "Oh?" Johnny's face turns into something more sinister. But you laugh it off knowing he's probably thinking of something perverted. "Okay! Gotta go!" "Not so fast," He grabbed the back of your arm, seating you back down, "You pay today." He smiled before grabbing his briefcase and jacket, exiting happily.

You slump into the cushion before grabbing your purse from the inside of your jacket pocket. After you pay, you pull out your phone, dialling Yuta's number. The call didn't even reach the first ring before he picked up, "Hello?" He was first to speak too. Weird. "Hi, It's Y/N-" "I know, we've had each other's numbers for three years now." You chuckle, "Okay... We have plans tonight, my friend." You can hear the evident groan on the other end. "When and where?" He asked. "After I get off around four and your place!" You cheer before silencing, waiting for a response. "Okay, good." He paused for a moment before continuing, "I need to clean this place up anyways, you can help out." He stated. "Perfect." You replied.

⋆

Who would've guessed that your evening is being spent by scrubbing a sink with floral gloves? "You know," You started. "We could've gone out for dinner and hired someone for this," Yuta, who was behind you wiping the kitchen counter. "Yes, but it's unnecessary." He says. You groan, "Can't we watch something on Netflix? This place was already clean when I came in!" You whine, stomping your feet like a child. "No," He simply replied.

"Okay! Let's see what's on Netflix..." You mumble, before looking over to Yuta beside you on the couch. He seemed tense, uninterested. It was odd to see him like this, "Are you okay?" You tediously asked. He murmured something under his breath before sucking it in. "This is weird," He said, "Why are you trying to hang out with me while my girlfriend is out of town? Are you into me or something? I just find it weird!" He finally let out. So this is what has been bothering Yuta. Did he feel uncomfortable with you? He's acting like a completely different person from who he was earlier today at the office. "I'm sorry? I don't know what to say..." You exhale, "We're friends, and friends hang out. Plus, I needed an excuse to get out of dinner with Johnny and Gyunghui." His face fell, a pang of guilt waving over him. Did he seriously think you were trying to get into his pants (He's not wrong)? God, who did he think he was, making such assumptions. "Oh- Fuck. Sorry Y/N. I don't know what got over me." He throws the blanket to the side before leaving the living room towards the bathroom. It wasn't supposed to hurt. I mean, you've always had these hidden feelings for Yuta, but you still treated him like you would to a friend. "Hey, I think I'm just really stressed with Jin Nyun. She's never home." He bellowed, pumping his fists into the air before letting out a stressed groan. "She's really getting under your skin, huh?" You say, "Deeper than I thought." He made his way back beside you. "Let's- Let's just play this movie." He massaged the back of his neck, now focused on the movie displayed on the flat-screen TV.

⋆

"Y/N!" You pull the phone from your ear for a moment. Johnny was exceptionally loud at ten in the morning. He sounded like he had something urgent to tell you. But, you out of everyone had no time to listen to his girl talk, especially when you're in a meeting room with ELLE magazine staff, discussing your new line of clothing and having your collection featured in this month's issue. "You won't believe-" "Johnny! I have a job to do!!" You screech, hearing his apologies moments after. Ending the phone call, you enter the meeting room, "Sorry, where were we?" Assistant editor, Myeong-Ko set this meeting up with you to discuss your fall collection. "Since you've gained an audience over the past five years, we'd like to include you're best fashion pieces on our models and October issue."

Finally, you thought you'd be stuck in that meeting for ages! It's a little past noon, you are positive that Johnny's at home relaxing on his day off, you decide to call him back on your way to your late lunch with Yuta and Taeil. "Hello?" You are greeted by Johnny's panting voice with Gyunghui's giggles heard; not wanting to know what was going on the other end of the phone, you cut to the chase. "Johnny, what'd you want to tell me earlier?" You hear the 'Ou' loud and clear as he remembers and laughs aloud, "Guess who asked Doyoung out at a club in Ilsan?" You wrinkle your forehead, looking up at the sky, thinking. "No clue," "Jin Nyun!" Johnny said. Now, this was a disaster. You thought Jin Nyun had been smart enough to not cheat on her boyfriend with his old drinking mate. Did the news reach Yuta? "Did he tell him?" You asked hesitantly, "No, he told me to tell you to tell him." And with that, big brother Seo ended the call to return to doing god knows what with his wife. That's when you reached the front door of this eatery. Yuta gave you directions to this new Tteokbokki place, a ten-minute walk from the main street. You walked in, recognizing the blond from a mile away, eyes glued to his phone in the corner booth. "Y/N..." He said, standing up and brushing off the crumbs of what seemed like a cookie off his lap. He looked awful, the ache in your heart wondering who caused him such discomfort flamed the anger bubbling in the pit of your stomach. "Hey, hey. What's wrong?" You watch him slumped back into the seat, not bothering to sit in front of him, you went into the seat beside him. No matter how weird it looked, to be seated in a booth beside each other, it looked like he needed someone right now. He wore a Nike sweater with basketball shorts and sneakers. You bring your hand to his cheek to lift it and get a good look at him. A sharp pain filled your body, seeing his tear-stained cheeks. He wasn't okay. Looking all worn out and out of place wasn't Yuta. He was always looking ethereal to everyone else. Why did he look so helpless? "Let's go to my apartment, I live a few minutes away." You whisper, watching him nod softly.

⋆

It's nearing seven in the early hours of the evening. Yuta hasn't left your living room couch since he just had his heartbroken. It seemed to be that Jin Nyun broke up over text with Yuta telling him he wasn't enough to satisfy her needs. He also mentioned her telling him she met someone a couple of months ago and has been seeing him, but didn't she try sleeping with Doyoung? "Yuta, stop sulking over a girl who doesn't even have her priorities straight." You said, closing the freezer door with another tub of green-tea ice cream. "One year." He mumbled, almost incoherent, "I gave up a year of my life to be cheated on for god knows how long!" He barks. You hand Yuta the ice cream, before standing there, thinking. What could cheer him up? "Oh! I know!" You run into your bedroom, walking out with a bowl. "Suki, say hi to Yuta. He's feeling down... Make him happy, please?" You ask the Betta fish in the bowl before placing her on the coffee table in front of Yuta. "Wha-What?" He expressed his amusement from your odd liking towards this redfish. "Say hi to Suki, Yuta!" You cheer before pointing at Suki. "You're kidding me?" You turn to look up at you, with your hands placed on either side of your hips, 'She wasn't kidding' he turns back and hunched over to look into the bowl "Hi Suki."

"Are you still thinking about her?" You ask, nudging Yuta. "Surprisingly, no," He said, staring into the black screen. You raise a brow, curious. "I've been thinking about you." He sighs before looking at Suki, who was moved to the table beside the couch so she could 'get a better look at the movie.' "Oh?" This was interesting. Why would he think of you? Were you that significant to him now? "It's just that, you just took the day off... To take care of me." He mumbles. "It's not that big of a deal, I- you was hurt. Of course, I have to be there for you!" You fiddle with the blanket, "You're really important to me." The now tongue-tied boy's head shot up, turning to look at you. His bewildered face softened in moments before he gathered the courage to reply. "You're really important to me too." You rip the blanket off you, throwing it in Yuta's direction. "It's almost midnight. I think we need to eat dinner before bed." You tell him, making your way into the kitchen. "Before bed?" He asked. "You are spending the night, right?" You asked, stopping in your tracks. "Oh, Are you okay with that?" He asked, getting up and trailing behind you. You throw a quick 'Duh?' towards the boy earning a couple chuckles your way. He sat on the island stool, watching you pull together something some-what edible for you two tonight. "I want to apologize for the other night again, I shouldn't have assumed or acted like that," 'He said that out of the blue.' You though before scrunching up your face before cracking an egg, "I hope you like French toast." You say, dodging the unneeded apology.

⋆

Nakamoto Enterprises. Never thought you'd walk into Yuta's building with a pair of jeans and a sweater. Most of your trips here were business-related, and you often showed up in a suit. "H-Hi Ms.S-Seo!" Yuta's assistant, Jungwoo, said, greeting you. "Hey Jungwoo, is Yuta out of his meeting yet? He promised me tacos," You said, rubbing your belly enthusiastically, earning a couple of giggles from the tall-boy. "Ah! I heard him mumble something about tacos earlier while fixing his dress-shirt." He said, remembering. Just then, you see Yuta walkout, Jungwoo covers his mouth, tilting towards you. "I heard he dyed his hair and got all dolled up for you Y/N, don't mess up." He said before waving goodbye and wandering off towards his associates. "New do?" You said, combing your fingers through Yuta's rosewood locks. "Just for you." He smiles before walking out with you. After his breakup with Jin Nyun, oddly, he's been on top of his game. You'd think you would have to take a week off to help the pain go away. You knew how much he loved her. Now? Now it was like the two of you had this new sort of bond.

What you weren't aware of was that Yuta has a new spot for you in his heart. Somewhere he held dear. Yuta never expected to move on that fast, but he knew you were always there, just waiting to break out and roam freely in his mind. You made his insides twist in a way Jin Nyun couldn't, but something in him knew it was too soon. "Something wrong?" You asked the boy zoning out at the red light, "No, I'm good." He replied, hand gripping the wheel. Although his mind was flooded with innocent, pure thoughts of you. Tonight, something in him wanted to tear you apart in his penthouse. Always chasing after something that didn't want to be chased after, or so he thought. "Can we get ice-cream... I finished the one at home." He contemplates what to do for a minute before answering proudly, "Nope!" He said. He looks so confident but, he almost melted when you called his place home. "Why not?!" "I'm cooking dinner." He replied, now focusing on the road. You huff and sit back in the seat, staring out the window. The beating in your heart, drumming loud in your ears. Is it possible he feels the same? Or is this way of coping without Jin Nyun... If you thought this evening couldn't get any better- you were wrong! Mark and Taeil decided to drop by while you hung around Yuta's suite. The four of you were feasting on the take-out the two boys brought over. Guess Yuta doesn't have to cook. "So, Mark, you're a producer?" You asked before taking a bite, "Yea, Johnny helps out sometimes." Oh? Johnny helping make music? I guess you could see that in a way, he does have a few specialties in the Arts. "Y/N! Congrats on ELLE, by the way!" Taeil interrupted loud and cheerfully. Your eyes crinkle at the sides while you show him a toothy grin. "I'm proud," Yuta said, bringing his hand up to ruffle your hair.

⋆

The winter chill settles in, as the streets were now covered in a thick blanket of white, footsteps and paw prints being crisscross along the sidewalks. You sported a simple city chic black coat pairing it with a white turtleneck long-sleeve sweater dress. You admit, though the layered clothing appeared to keep you all warm to the naked eye, your exposed legs seemed to be coated in goosebumps as you speeded towards the tall building. "No pants?" Haechan asked, handing you a coffee. "My mom's coming in today," You confess, Haechan's facial expression remained still as if he was already aware of your guest. "She's in your office, let me take your coat." You thank the younger boy before skipping into the elevator beside the main lobby. Before you reached the top floor, the lift stopped on the tenth floor. "Taeyong?" You ask, the man wearing a black mask with his suit. "Y/N? Oh my god, hey." Taeyong was a good friend of yours. He even works under you. Though you'd think having a comrade by your side while you are at your job, it had driven you two apart, both of you only meeting during promotional seasons. He was hired as one of your models and editors. Being successful, he often modelled for Taeil and Kun, another business associate of yours. Though losing a friend hurt horribly, you were still happy for Taeyong and his newfound profession. "Oh my god, I forget you're my boss sometimes," He said, removing his mask. "Haven't seen you in weeks." You chuckle softly before speaking, "We need to catch up, I heard you were the model for our ELLE issue, and you are going to star in an advertisement for Kun?" He nodded. "Kun wanted me and someone, named, Ten to star in the advertisement for his new diamond sets." Your mouth goes slightly agape at the mention of the name, immediately squealing to yourself. "Ten?! Ten Lee?!!! I've been begging his agency to have him model for us! How come Kun gets him that quick?!" Taeyong threw his head back slightly before erupting into a fit of laughter. You seriously were jealous, and it entertained the boy. The elevator stops on the 20th floor. "My stop. Good luck getting Ten. I'll tell him your hot. Maybe then he'll consider..." Taeyong joked before waving goodbye. The rest of the ride up was quiet. You made sure to fix the end of your dress before meeting with your mother. Exiting the chute, you made your way to make your mother a quick cup of coffee from the instant coffee machine. It was no macchiato but it'll make do.

"Why are you late?" Your mother questioned once you walked into the room. "I was just getting you coffee," You voiced before walking and taking a seat in front of your desk. Taking files and shoving it out of the way. Handing her the coffee, you finally take a sip on your drink, which was now as cold as the snowfall this season. "So, Mom. What brings you here?" You asked. "Can't I visit my daughter?" She replies, offended. "No, you can't." You scoff, "What do you want?" You interrogate, and that's when you see her shoulders drop as she grips the coffee cup. You knew it. "Listen, sweetheart..." You hum, she continues. "It's ... It's just that you're almost 25! An unmarried chairwoman is humiliating. I don't want Johnny or your father to be ashamed of you, so get your shit together is I give your hand in marriage to another man." Your mother scoffs, the innocent facade fading. Though she had no right to talk to you like that, it felt like a slap in the face. You thought that was the end of it, but no. She had more to get off her chest. "You're friends with Mr.Nakamoto, Mr. Kim, Moon, and that model kid Taeyong. All single. Yet you're still single. Get your shit together, Y/N. I can't always run after you-" "Leave." You were now standing up from the little office chair, pointing towards the door. This was wrong. You shouldn't be disrespectful to someone attempting to fix your own mistakes right? "Farewell then, Goodluck." Unfazed, she exits while you stood in the empty room, the silent room. The only detectable noises were the sound of hurried footsteps, the squeak of doors and the printers from co-workers.

⋆

Saturday nights were known for the shenanigans Yuta, and you pulled. Though tonight, the two of you decided on dressing like sophisticated businesswomen and men, like you weren't already! Come on, you two are multimillionaires. Now, heading to Ryunique, a Fusion restaurant along Gangnam-gu. Today, you squeezed into the most elegant dress in your wardrobe. A black short tulle-skirt lace dress, the double-layered stand-up collar. Especially with your partner in crime who decided on wearing a black satin button-up dress shirt with black pants and his long hair slicked back. You two were the main attraction of the night for sure. "What if we pretended to have American accents?" You joked, exiting the car. "We don't even know English Y/N." The two of you broke into small fits of laughter. "All right, enough jokes. Let's head in." Patting the ends of your dress, you fix the watch on your wrist and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "Good evening," The tall man at the front desk immediately greeted, standing up and walking towards you two. "Hello, we've got reservations." He clicks his tongue before grabbing the laptop on the desk and placing it on the counter. "Name?" "Mr. and Mrs.Nakamoto." Okay, maybe you two took it too far, to look like a dirty rich couple coming to shower money on these restaurant folks, but it was all in good fun!

Did wealthy people seriously come here to spend hundreds on Pork Belly, Jowl and Shrimps? Damn right! It was delicious, "Yuta. Give me a bite, please...!!" You beg him. He ordered Beef and Salmon. In other words, tonight's special. "Finish what's on your plate first, Mrs.Nakamoto." He tells you, smiling, before cutting a piece of his Beef and placing it onto your plate. Since when were you so spoilt. By Yuta out of everyone. "I can't believe you made it seem like we were married," You said snickering. "I wasn't going to do that at first, but something about 'Mr. and Mrs. Nakamoto' sounded nice." He plays with the leftover salad on the plate, "It has a nice tone to it, right?" If you weren't in a five-star restaurant, you would've choked, but in attempts to keep your cool at Yuta's shameless behaviour in public, you look up and give a smile. "Mhm! Perfect, we should use it more often!" There you were, fighting fire with fire. "Y/N- You can't just-!?" He stops in the middle of his sentence to fill his mouth with the salad. "Check!" He calls out, as you sit there playing with an olive. You sure do have him wrapped around your finger. Sadly, even Saturdays come to an end. "Shouldn't the guy be walking the girl home?" Yuta asked. "Right? I was thinking that. I guess I'm the man here." Playfully Yuta nudged you. Before pulling you close, his arm envelopes around you. "I'm a man." He assures more to himself than you, "Sure..." Dragging your feet towards Yuta's doorstep, you let out a yawn. "Oh god, I gotta play the man role now." He mumbles before unlocking his front door. "You're sleeping over. Can't have my damsel walk out alone in the dark." He whispers to your half-asleep figure leaning on the doorframe, dozing away.

⋆

Your nose scrunches as your eyes take in every ray of light, and without a doubt, you know you've slept in today. What day was it? Was it still morning or past noon? Where is your phone? Wait, where were you? It took a little adjusting for your tired eyes to realize you were in Yuta's bedroom. Oh, you must have slept over. Looking to your right, you see shirtless Yuta, sprawled across the bed. Hold on. Catching a double-take on what you are looking at... shirtless Yuta... God is on your side today. He turns his head over, an evident smirk displayed. “Like what you see?” He asked, “As if!” You reply, taking the pillow from underneath your head and throwing it at him. “I’m gonna shower, make breakfast will ya?” You request, before marching into his bathroom. ‘What's that smell’ you wonder, skipping into the open kitchen. You’ve always admired the interior of Yuta’s place. Modern yet cozy. “I hope you’re craving egg fried rice.” Yuta said which you happily replied with a hungry growl. “Hungry as a hippo today!” You make your way behind him. You have this urge to back hug him, to wrap your slender arms around his waist, indulging in his scent. “Wh-What are you doing?” Yuta asked. He felt a shock when you wrapped around him, nuzzling yourself into his neck. “I don’t know..” You confess, before it hit you. “Oh my god..! I didn’t even know if you were okay with that! I am such a perv, why’d you go hug him Y/N! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid...” You didn’t realize it there but Yuta turned off the stove when he turned around to grab your wrist from leaving, pulling you back into his embrace. This time he wraps his arms around you, pushing your head into his warm chest. His hand made it’s way to pet your head for a moment before he broke the embrace, the two of you got a glimpse at one another, safe to say he feels the same right? Yuta turns to reach up at the cabinet to serve the two of you. Walking over to his dining table he places the plates while you get some water. “Eat up Mrs.Nakamoto” He chirps, before sitting.

“Yuta I’m gonna wear your sweater!” You shout from his closet, “Mkay!” He replies. Yuta and you decided on skipping work, and spending your Sunday relaxing in his suite. Grabbing his basketball shorts and sweater you tie an extra tight knot on the waist so you didn’t have to hold it whenever you needed to move settings. “Wow, so cute.” He flirts watching you being swallowed by his clothing. “C’mere,” He pats a spot beside him, which you gladly accepted sitting cuddled up beside him. The two of you have still not confronted one another with the fact your feelings were now out in the open. He knew how deeply in-love you were with him, it was getting so hard to hide.. It kind of just, spilt. Yuta only confirmed his by hugging you back. It was more so a silent confession between the two of you. The promise to be with one another till the end of time being hidden somewhere in that heartwarming moment in the kitchen. “So, are we like?” You start, looking up at him to see him nodding with an eye crinkling smile. “Good.” You state, punching the air in victory. He places a kiss on the top of your head. A thank you.

⋆

A year ago, today. You and Nakamoto Yuta came clean about your growing feelings for one another. Now you were happily in love. Work was the same as always. Only a few changes this year had occurred. Johnny, finally becoming a father. Taeyong had been promoted and was now working more flexibly, letting the two of you hang out. Lastly, but not least, you and Yuta. Not a peep from your mother since that day at the office and no word from Jin Nyun either. You've noticed her attempting to rekindle a spark on multiple occurrences, but as foretold, Yuta steered clear. Now you were living happily, right? Wrong.

It’s not everyday that your best friend comes back from the dead. On April 23rd, 2011, 15-year-old, Jaehyun, had been announced dead in a fatal car accident. The car drove off the Banpo Bridge in the middle of the night, which led the authorities to believe he was drunk driving. There was hope he was still out there, but as the years progressed, you lost hope. Jaehyun’s dream was to become a designer. Though you’ve always wanted to become an interior designer, in a way to pay your respects, you’ve followed his desired path. But, to say the least, you learnt to love this path. It’s where you met Yuta and the people you can call your closest. Now, almost ten years later. You receive a call. "Hello?" On the other end of the line, you could hear soft breaths. Feeling a little uneasy, you call Yuta. Who was idling on the couch, silently over to listen to whatever was going on? "Hello? Who is this?" You ask once more. The breathing halts and, you hear a flimsy cough, "Is this Y/N?" You look over to Yuta, who seemed concerned. "Y-Yes." You answer. The man laughs wholeheartedly for a minute too long before a pause. "Who is this?" You asked, "Jung Jae-" "Don't even finish. Is this some sort of cruel joke?! Who are you!?" You were furious. Yuta backs away to watch from a distance, but ready to comfort you if anything. "Who said I was joking? 66-2 Gongpyeong-dong, Jung-gu, Daegu. Thursday night." He finished with a smooching noise at the end of the line. He ends the call, and you adjust your seat on the island stool. "Jaehyun's dead, right?" You mumble to yourself, still audible to an oblivious Yuta. "Baby? Tell me what's on your mind. You know I'm here," He doesn't know Jaehyun. In fact, he has no clue about how you were in the past. The heartbreaks you've had. "Jaehyun." Yuta furrows his brows. Who is Jaehyun? A past lover, perhaps? Hopping off the stool, you make your way towards the master bedroom. Pulling out a duffle bag from underneath the bed. Although this phone call seemed like some sort of sick set-up, you couldn't help it. A small portion of you knew there could be a chance Jaehyun was still alive. 'Johnny and Jaehyun were friends too,' You thought. He must've been informed about his whereabouts if he was alive. Ding. Perfect timing, such an emotional time, being interrupted. Yuta calls you from the door.

"It's Johnny!"

The timing couldn’t be any better. Just in, that your elder brother had gotten a text, similar to the call you received. He ran into the bedroom, seeing you packing. Turning around, you noticed his suitcase in hand. “Did he?” Johnny questioned. How could he believe a mere text from an unknown number? You scoff, “Yea, I got a call, I don’t buy it though. He’s dead.” You fumed. “Then why are you packing?” He interrogated. He’s right, why were you? “I-I-I don’t know! Just- Just get in the car.” You throw the keys of your minivan off the bed towards Johnny, who catches it, happily. “Apparently I don’t exist. What the hell is going on!?” Yuta roared. Stopping your actions, you walk over to the boy standing behind Johnny. “Jung Jaehyun died in a fatal car accident in 2011. Someone is claiming that he’s alive.” You answered, watching his expression change from dumbfounded to intrigued. “Why does his death concern you guys?” He asked. “He is-was, my best friend.” Yuta brings his hand down towards your hand, grabbing to caress it with his finger. He could only imagine how dreadful this might be, “When he died... Did they find his body?” He asked. Cautiously. You suck in your breath in realization. No, they didn’t. Looking up to Johnny with a glint of hope glistening in your eyes. Was he really alive? “Go, I’ll take care of work.” He says after wrapping his arms around you. “Thank you." You whisper before grabbing Johnny and walking out. Yuta sighs, "She forgot her bag." He said to himself.

"We have to catch the next train Daegu." You say to Johnny, driving. "I booked our tickets as soon as I got the text. We board in two hours." Prepared as always. Johnny drives over the highway, lights on full beam. You watched how the bright lights played in the pouring rain. This was going to be the only time. You'd be close to relaxing before the next chain of events. But all your mind wandered to was Yuta. How Yuta was doing was your main concern as of now. You're nowhere near understanding how he must feel right now. "He's fine," Johnny interjected, knowing that face you made. "I hope so. We went from watching Netflix to this." You whisper. "It's Yuta, Y/N. He understands." He assured.

Now, here you were in a small but nicely decorated cafe on the outskirts of Daegu. It was Thursday morning, you weren't meeting potential Jaehyun until later this evening. But to take extra measures, you came by earlier to rent the cafe for the evening. Paying was generous. Johnny mentioned he'd be visiting his friend, and for you to fill him in on what went on tonight. He wasn't being selfish, leaving the work to you. It was more selfless than selfish. Johnny knows how much of a role Jaehyun paid to your life before and after. So leaving your first meeting after ten years to just the two of you was all you could've asked for. "Excuse me! Ms.Seo?" The cafe owner calls for you. "Since your guest won't arrive until later tonight, why don't I make you some brunch?" She offers, "Please? Haven't eaten since last night," You two share a small laugh before she heads off into the kitchen.'You're early.' A shiver ran down your spine as you read the notification. Jheez, couldn't Jaehyun just enter like a human and not some creepy pedophile. Came all the way from Seoul to see you, can't you be normal? 'Come in?' You hit send. Good thing you were meeting on a full stomach, or else you’d be a little over emotional. What’d he look like? Did he still had the shy boy persona? Or has he grown out of it? The questions that flooded your mind were interrupted by the chime of a bell, indicating someone has entered. “Y/N I missed you”

Meanwhile, at Nakamoto Enterprises. "Jaehyun. Jaehyun. Jaehyun. Jaehyun." The name lingered Yuta's mind. Did he know him from somewhere? "Jungwoo!" He shouts for his assistant, who dashes in. "Yes?!" Yuta looks out the bay windows, contemplating his own move. "Jung Jaehyun. Who is he?" He asked, still gazing at the rainy window. "He is one of the three founders of JYX Co. He requested a meeting with you last month, something about investing." Jungwoo said, reading off the tablet in hand. Impossible. If he died, then why? He must've been trying to score a meeting with Yuta after hearing about his relationship with you. But that’s not where he knows Jaehyun from, is it?

Sitting in an empty coffee shop with your proclaimed dead best friend was horrifying but still patched up a hole in that broken heart of yours. “Can’t believe it's you...” You said happily, towards Jaehyun. He grew. Going from the lanky fifteen-year-old to a well built and sophisticated man. After rekindling the friendship, he mentioned what happened that night. "Everything you heard is correct, I drove off the Banpo bridge." He started. "But I was pulled out by this older man by the shore. He took me in and brought me to his place in Daegu." He stops to look up at you. "So, you just decided to start new?" You ask. He nods. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring myself to come home. I'm sorry for what I put you through." He apologized. Though a regular person would've been fuming at the fact he just up and left. You were just relieved. "It's okay, Jae. You're here now." You smile, continuing. "I became a designer for you, and frankly, I'm loving it." He laughs, grasping your hand resting on the table. "I know, I've been keeping tabs on you." He confesses. "So, Nakamoto Yuta." He says, watching your cheeks redden. "What about him?" You huff, in a childish manner. "One year? When is he gonna put a damn ring on it?!" He joked, watching you cover your face. "I don't know..." You mumble, "Anyways, Johnny's at Minhyuk's place. Wanna go?"

⋆

"I knew you sounded familiar," Yuta spoke, seeing Jaehyun walk-in with you this afternoon. "Huh?" What was he going on about? "That's the first thing you say when you see me? No 'I miss you'?" Jaehyun mused but laughed aloud when Yuta hands him a strawberry shake. "No, but is that enough?" He threw a wink, "Still remembering my favourite drink too, huh?" Jaehyun said. You stood behind, dumbfounded. "Hold on... You two know each other?" You question amazed. "Oh yea, Yuta was my roommate in uni." Yuta made his was beside you, making sure to give you a tight hug before a kiss, which made Jaehyun and Johnny gag. You sit on the large living room couch, Yuta's arm wrapped around you. Jaehyun on your other side, sharing a bag of chips with you. A film you were definitely not paying attention to playing on the screen, too distracted in your thoughts. Jaehyun was home. You were home in Yuta's arms. The two most important men back in your life. If you heard this was how you'd end up, you wouldn't believe it. The chances of getting together with Nakamoto Yuta. A name with millions of dollars tied to it, and finding your best friend again, Jaehyun, whom you thought was gone forever. Whatever you did in your past life, seriously paid off.

This is my happily ever after.

166 notes · View notes

tdystmr · 4 years

Text

college student! jackson x sugar daddy! mark // sugar daddy x baby socmed au

b a c k g r o u n d i n f o 🍓

jackson is THE popular kid despite him having his own set of financial problems. he lives with a foster family because his parents died in a car accident when he was 11, but still grew up to be a well-mannered, cheerful boy

mature 21 year old who knows his strenghts and weaknesses. very motivated and hard working, but tends to fall for the bad type rather than good influences. is also too nice and sweet to point out other’s mistakes and flaws so he usually goes along with whatever his friends do. has always wanted to move out because as much as he loves his foster family, he knows that they struggle with their own swt of problems as well and feels like a burden now that college fees are piling up

mark is a millionaire, successful bachelor at the fine age of 29. recognised for his success in starting and building his own business at 22, took him only 7 years to reach his current success of a multi-million enterprise in Seoul trading and exporting goods.

is a very mysterious figure to the press because he is extremely private about his life outside of work. lives alone, has no known dating history, only known family is his family in USA ands seems to be completely disinterested in relationships under than a tight-knit group of friends. the press would love to get some dirt on this successful businessman.

jjp are mark’s close friends and a power couple of Korea ( lgbtq+ rs are supported in korea in this au ) and have always wanted him to look for a partner. yugyeom, mark’s other close friend, also wants him to not be so lonely anymore since he’s pushing 30 already.

meanwhile, youngjae + bambam are jackson’s best friends. youngjae’s fam is jackson’s foster fam while the three of them all attend Seoul University tgt. they’re close friends because they all share an interest in music and just enjoy each other’s company. they’re the same age in this au, so they met at the usual freshmen orientation drinking session and bambam almost puked on jackson’s crotch. ever since then, they’ve been inseparable.

youngbam are also well known in the school - youngjae for performing on stage every year at the annual talent show while bambam is known for his cool style and being the vice president of the dance club.

p l o t 🍓

jackbamjae are joking arnd in their gc abt life after college when jackson finally tells them his plan to move out of his foster home after they finish their second year of college. yj ofc objects because he doesn’t see js as a burden, but respects jackson’s decision because js insists.

bambam suggests a sugar daddy website to get money. ofc, both of the other two question him on how he got to know such a site existed. he tells them that ten ( pres of the dance club ) got to know his bf through this site. bam tells them that it isn’t super shady or wtv and the men aren’t so bad at all

js says wtv and gives it a go, so he signs up with the help of bamjae. he has a basketball friendly match, so he rushes off after that

at the same time, mark’s bday is approaching. jjgyeom are planning a surprise for him and hopefully, it’ll include some sort of a date that mark will agree to go on. yugyeom had also come across the sugar daddy website by simply lurking on the nsfw side of the internet and jjp have learnt not to question him too much on what he does in his free time.

he found js’s profile and knowing mark’s type, immediately suggested the idea to jjp. jb, who’s been mark’s longest friend, says that mark might not completely be opposed to it because he knows that mark has been stressed lately and a way to let out that frustration would be good. jy, on the other hand, cautions that mark might not like the idea because mark is the kind of guy to value genuine relationships over meaningless hookups, not to mention paying someone for sex and whatnot. despite that, the three arrive at mark’s place on the night of his bday to surprise him

yg suggests the idea to mark after they’ve all had some dinner and mark obv gets mad at first. he says exactly what jy had said, but calms down after jjgyeom explain that they’ve all been worried about how he’s coping and don’t want him to be alone and stressed anymore. mark sees that his friends have good intentions and decides to give it a go, starting the convo with jackson over the website that night after all his friends have left

after about a week of weird dms and some actually good interactions over the site, jackson is about to give up because he hasn’t found anyone truly interested in talking and not just sex. then, he gets mark’s dm

the two hit it off immediately and they end up texting till 3am. they exchanged socmed accounts before they went to bed as well, and js decides to tell bamjae in the morning abt it.

they obv know who the hell mark tuan is and are freaking out over this. jackson rmbs that mark had told him not to spread this and realises that’s the reason why. he warns bamjae not to tell anyone, even their other close friends. bamjae suggest for him to keep texting and to even meet mark on the weekend.

they meet and it goes well and stuff, them slowly establishing their own sort of relationship. they’re more platonic than sexual most of the time, but they do look for each other when they’re horny and in need of release

one day, the press captures mark waiting for js after school at seoul uni + js getting into his car. they post an article with a caption insinuating that mark has a secret relationship, which he fires down with an instagram post about invading his privacy and posting false rumours. he does this because he’s scared that js might be affected.

js is affected, because he realises that he doesn’t mind being in a genuine relationship with mark at all. he tells bamjae ofc, and they help him to realise that he might have developed feelings for the older man. he freaks out because that isn’t part of the deal of being a sugar baby but he doesn’t want to cut mark off either

it’ll end happily, definitely, but the angst will come right after this and i hope it’ll be good :<

e x t r a c t f r o m f i r s t c o n v o 🍓

Yien_duan_

Hey, is this Wangpuppy825?

Wangpuppy825

that’s me! you can call me jackson ☺️

Yien_duan_

Oh, okay sure. I’m Mark. How old are you again?

Wangpuppy825

i’m 21 this year 🤩 wbu?

Yien_duan_

I’ve just turned 30

What’s your major in college?

Wangpuppy825

just? when’s your birthday? 🧐

i major in Sports science studies at SNU

Yien_duan_

4 september

Woah, you sound like a pretty smart kid

Wangpuppy825

oh, belated birthday mark hyung 🥳🥳

i can call you that, right 🥺

also, i’m not that smart hahah i just study hard 😌

Yien_duan_

Yeah, hyung is fine

Thank you, by the way :)

Wangpuppy825

no prob, hyung ☺️

quick qn though, do you look really old?

Yien_duan_

Ummm.....no?

Wangpuppy825

do you mind sending a pic 😖

i’m sorry if this sounds weird it’s just i’ve gotten lots of dms from 50 year olds posing as 20-30 year olds and it’s creepy 😳

Yien_duan_

Okay but you can’t tell anyone about this, okay?

Wangpuppy825

why? is it embarrassing for you 😮

Yien_duan_

[image attached]

It’s not really about being embarrassed, I guess

Wangpuppy825

omg

Yien_duan_

Why?

Wangpuppy825

you look so hot wtf 🥵

and you look so young????? you look my age 😳😳

god is unfair for making you so pretty 😤

Yien_duan_

You mean you...

Wangpuppy825

i...???

Yien_duan_

Oh, nothing hahah

I’m just surprised you think I look good because well...

You’re really cute, Jackson :<

Wangpuppy825

wow okay you have no idea how different it feels to hear that from a hot person rather than just my friends hyping me up 😳😳😳

Yien_Tuan

Your friends? Did they persuade you to do this?

Y’know, my friends actually set me up with you as sort of a birthday present

Wangpuppy825

oh? then i guess i should thank them 😳

and yes, my friends did persuade me to do this hhahaha

Yien_Duan_

Thank my friends? What for?

Your friends did a good job with the basketball pictures. I think those were what made my friend Yugyeom choose you

Wangpuppy825

thank them for setting me up with such a hottie 🥵

oh! you play?

Yien_Duan_

Ahh, you’re making me embarrassed... 😳

Yeah, I played when I was in college in USA

Wangpuppy825

omg you used an emoji for the first time 🥰

usa? you’re a foreigner too?

Yien_Duan_

Hahah, I don’t really use emojis because I’m used to texting formally at work 😅

Wow, it feels like we’ve got a lot in common huh

Wangpuppy825

use them more 🥺

it does! you’re probably the most interesting person i’ve met on this site the whole week 😌😌

Yien_Duan_

Then I’m honoured I got your attention first :)

Tell me more about yourself? Unless you’ve got to go to bed already

Wangpuppy825

oh, no no hahah

i usually sleep way past midnight so this is fine 🤩

anyway, who would be crazy enough to turn down a conversation with someone like you 😖😖

Yien_Duan_

Flirtatious, are we?

Wangpuppy825

only because you’re adorable 🥰

t a g s 🍓

sugar daddy x sugar baby au

social media au

possessive mark

switch jackson

dominant mark

sexting / nudes

fluff / angst / smut

college student! jackson

friends with benefits-ish to lovers

#got7 markson #jackson wang #mark tuan #got7 aus #sugar daddy au #sugar daddy mark tuan #sugar baby jackson wang #got7 social media au

10 notes · View notes

canyonmoonlily · 5 years

Text

| mixtape |

side 1, track 3:

Layla | Derek & The Dominoes

Miranda was drunk. Absolutely, out of her mind drunk. The bar around her seemed to move as if it was under water, and she begins wondering why she thought that many shots was a good idea.

“Ma’am?” an odd accent called her out her drunken daze and she’s faced with a rather good looking, oddly familiar man.

“Mhhphg?” she responds eloquently.

“Have you seen my mate Richard here anywhere? Richard Madden?” He asks. “I know you were filming the Jimmy Fallon Show with him tonight, with your band.” At this Miranda’s look of drunken confusion shifts.

“Yes! I saw him earlier with my friend, my bandmate Y/N,” she slurred at the pretty man with the funny accent. “Wait.” Her eyebrows pulled together. “Is your name Aaron by any chance?”

The pretty man laughs.

“No actually, but close.” He has a nice smile, Miranda thinks.

“T-Taron? Is that it? I know you from those strange movies with all the British men in suits.”

The pretty man laughs harder at this, leaning into her slightly as he does. She’s seated on a high chair in the “VIP” section of the bar, him leaning against the table only a few inches away from her wearing some coat that just looks so ridiculously soft.

“You have a nice laugh,” she sighs, unable to help herself.

“You have a gorgeous smile, love.” he beams at her compliment. She’s far too drunk to know what she’s saying but it doesn’t distract from how stunning she was. Taron can’t help but find he’s quite flattered with her openly flirting with him. “But I really need to find my mate, Richard. The last I talked to him he sounded a bit drunk, I don’t want him getting himself into any trouble.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s been like an hour...I dunno maybe not I don’t understand time right now..” Miranda trailed off drunkenly, head falling in her hands.

“Oh god Miranda, not again,” came the voice of a tall brunette appearing behind Taron. She cradles her face in her hands, Miranda just smiling up at her goofily.

“I assume you’re here looking for Richard?” The brunette chirped, looking at Taron. “I’m Victoria, Miranda and y/n’s bandmate and caretaker, it seems.” She grins shaking his hand.

“I’m Taron, Taron Egerton.” He smiles.

“Miranda!” Miranda happily cheers her own name causing Taron to grin and Victoria to groan.

“Oh God, okay um the last I saw was Richard leaving with Y/N about 45 minutes ago or so? You can follow me if you want to check in and make sure he made it somewhere safe,” Victoria smiles at Taron before attempting to lift Miranda’s limp and giggling form from her chair.

“I can get her if you want,” Taron offered. Victoria eyed him somewhat warily before shrugging, deciding he probably wasn’t a threat.

“Sure, that would be a huge help actually,” she sighed, grabbing her and Miranda’s purses before clearing a path to the outside. Taron reaches for Miranda and she launches to her feet, clinging to his side with a lazy smile, hiccuping the whole way to the door.

By the time they reach the apartment, Miranda is completely out, her tiny frame cradled in Taron’s arms. Taron doesn’t seem to mind.

He follows Victoria to her bedroom and lays her down, smiling at her peaceful slumber.

“Thank you so much for all your help with her, Taron,” Victoria smiles and then grimaces. “And again, I’m really sorry about her very loud rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody on the way back. I swear she’s not usually this obnoxious.” Taron just shakes his head and chuckles.

“Really don’t worry about it, even drunk she’s a right cutie,” his eyes move back to Miranda’s form.

“I could give you her number if you’d like?” Victoria trailed off with a hopeful smile. She loved playing matchmaker.

“Actually, yeah, I would love that,” Taron finds himself beaming at the prospect of seeing Miranda again—hopefully sober the next time.

After adding her contact into his phone Victoria and Taron creep over to Y/N’s room.

“So you three are 22 year old multi millionaires who choose to live together?” He whispered to her.

“Yeah, we’re like sisters. None of us like being away from each other for too long.” Victoria smiles inwardly at the thought. The bond between the three women was strong.

As they open a crack into y/n’s door, they do their best to be discreet and not chuckle or die at the sight before them.

Both Y/N and Richard are clearly very naked and very comfortable with one another under the thin white sheets of y/n’s bed. He’s asleep on her chest, his arms tightly wound around her little waist. Her hands are in his hair and both of them have hints of bliss on their faces. At least someone had a good night, Taron scoffs at the sight.

......

The next morning is an early one for our friend, Richard. He awakes to his phone ringing obnoxiously, hurrying to click his power before it wakes the sleeping form beneath him.

It’s 7 am. Christ. 4 missed calls.

Richard is alarmed to see his agent had been blowing up his phone before he remembered his GMA interview. Good god he was going to get it for this one. As quickly as he can, he unravels himself from the beauty beneath him, her naked form giving him flashbacks of the night before. As he slips his discarded clothing back on he feels a grin fighting it’s way onto his lips as he looks at y/n’s peaceful state.

He felt like he was already practically in love with her. Completely enamored by and taken with every little scrunch of her nose, the rise and the fall of her breathing. He almost can’t leave, the longer he looks at her the more his legs seem to grow imaginary roots that hold him hostage in her bedroom. He reconciles to leave her a note—on the wall calendar to the right of the bed.

“Had to go to do a GMA interview at 9:00 am. I would like to discuss with you some things about last night, my number is xxx xxx xxxx. Richard.”

He wanted to know if the night they’d spent together meant as much to her as it did to him. Maybe he was idealizing her and setting himself up for heartbreak but he was willing to take that risk��even if it only meant seeing her again.

eight months later

Y/N was completely zoned in. Her ADHD meds had kicked in and she was finally finishing up her packing for this god forsaken trip—her first vacation in what felt like decades.

It had been 8 months of songwriting, performing, and distracting herself from the little ache in her heart. Y/N had even taken up going to the gym. And working out. On purpose.

As she threw her last few things into the bag, hips swaying to the beat of John Lennon’s raspy vocals on Yer Blues, she found herself in one of those brief little moments where she almost enjoyed being sad. Yes, life was all peaches and cream for a woman as wealthy and successful as Y/N, but like every human, she liked to revel in her pain from time to time—even if she’s the cause of it. Moment’s like these disgusted her, so she usually crammed the feeling down.

Y/N had read Richard’s note the next morning with shaky legs and blurry vision. She knew what things he wanted to discuss.

The blood on the sheets. The stain of your lies.

He had to have figured it out. He had to have noticed she didn’t feel quite right. Y/N had really done it this time—she’d given her virginity to a man she hardly knew. And without telling him.

She had been so caught up in the blue of Richard’s eyes and his elderberry wine stained lips that she’d not thought of what she was doing before it was too late. She violated his trust by withholding that information and she was so embarrassed she swore she could never face him again. Could never call him. Could never think about him for longer than a few minutes unless she was joking around with the girls about how dumb she was for thinking it meant anything to him.

She tried very hard to find the humor in the situation but it never really worked. The laughter never really masked the sting of his name. She didn’t want Miranda or Victoria to worry about her so she nursed her wounds in private and stopped mentioning that night altogether after the 3rd month.

Now 8 months later, sometimes she could stand in her room without her mind immediately going back to that night. It had taken her a long time to rid herself of the lingering sexual frustration. She had to get rid of his note to keep herself from calling him desperately in the middle of the night.

“Hey Y/N, darling, you almost ready?” Came a pretty welsh accent from the hall. Taron popped his head into her door, a goofy and excited grin on his face.

“Yep, whenever you guys are!” She chirped back cheerfully. And for the first time in a long time, it was genuine. It wasn’t easy watching Miranda and Taron fall in love while she was trying to squash her feelings for a Richard. It was quite painful, honestly.

But y/n never said anything. Of course she didn’t. Y/N wouldn’t rain on Miranda’s parade just because of how she’d ruined whatever was between her and Richard by lying to him.

“You guys,” came a loud wailing noise from further up the hallway. “Will just found out he can’t come, he got asked to stay another week even though the show’s already opened.” Victoria looked distraught as she explained her fiance, a broadway choreographer, couldn’t join their beach trip.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry Vic,” Y/N smiled sympathetically and embraced her distraught bandmate. “At least now we have room for Taron to invite a friend.”

“Really? Y/N are you sure?” Taron tried to mask his excitement. “It is your birthday trip after all.”

Y/n smiled and waved him off with a warm assurance that she didn’t really care. She’d have all the company she’d need with Miranda, Vic, and the many of their other friends who would be meeting them there to celebrate.

—

“Hey! What are you up to this week, mate?” Taron chieoed excitedly over the phone. His grin growing mischievous when the voice on the other end responded with a “nothing.”

Taron couldn’t help himself. “How would you feel about a week trip to Cancun?”

“What am I supposed to do? Say no?” Richard chuckled on the other end, he really needed a vacation now that he thought about it. “I’ll hop on the next flight out. What’s the occasion?”

“Ah, just a birthday party. Nothing major, mate.”

Kind of short and crappy but I promise the next chapter will make up for it tenfold. So much planned. *chaotic laughter*

#smut #richard madden x y/n #richard madden au #richard madden #taron egerton #taron smut #i love taron #rocketman #elton john #eric clapton #layla #mixtape #rockstar au

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fapangel · 7 years

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What are your thoughts regarding Elon Musk?

A great question. Long story short, I alternate between wanting to love Elon Musk as one of the few venture capitalists on Earth with a fucking brain, and wanting to drown him in a scummy pond for being such a fucking West-coast weenie retard.

Elon’s Genius

Waitbutwhy.com got a series of exclusive interviews with Elon, and while the star-struck explorations of the author might be of questionable objectivity, he did a great job of summarizing how Elon thinks. And the single most important thing about Elon was expressed in a verbatim quote from the man himself:

Like look at Galileo. He engineered the telescope—that’s what allowed him to see that Jupiter had moons. The limiting factor, if you will, is the engineering. And if you want to advance civilization, you must address the limiting factor. Therefore, you must address the engineering.

Yeah. You’re sitting there saying “no shit, Sherlock, who doesn’t understand that?” But the shit some journalists say will just blow your fucking mind. Yes, this is an actual journalist, in one of the few semi-respectable, mostly-sane publications left on earth (by dint of catering to people who have to make sums add up at the end of the day,) saying that Trump should make space-based solar power satellites a priority. Not talking it up as a nice theoretical tech, not wondering about it, but pushing this as a serious short-term policy priority.

Incidentally, this is how Elon Musk feels about that bullshit. Yes. Being a sane, intelligent human fucking being, he’s capable of understanding basic opportunity costs, and since he’s aware that hair-brained pie-in-the-literal-sky schemes must be constrained by the actual ability to fucking build this shit (i.e. engineering,) he’s capable of stopping long enough to realize that building and orbiting a vast fleet of satellites designed to blast the Earth with microwave lasers is fucking retarded compared to just building more solar panels right here on Earth.

This ties into the second massive, massive thing that makes Elon Musk unique - he’s a venture capitalist that knows what the fuck a BUSINESS CASE is. Despite being a save-the-world-I-want-to-build-unicorns idealist, he actually understands the basic principles of economics and markets. To wit, nobody’s going to give him eleventy trillion dollars for free to do decades of R&D to realize his Big Dream, so it has to fund itself, and furthermore, major advances in technology and the human condition don’t spring from individual genius companies, but from entire industries. This nice diagram produced by Waitbutwhy’s eloquently fawning author expresses the same with more colored boxes and less exasperated fucking invective, if that’s your thing.

What you’re looking at - especially the box at the very bottom that says SUSTAINABLE FUCKING BUSINESS MODEL - is the concept that any gormless asshole on the street can grasp (business gotta make money) but the multi-millionaire masters of the universe that gave Juicero ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY MOTHERFUCKING MILLION DOLLARS TO BUILD A WI-FI ENABLED JUICER COULDN’T FIGURE OUT.

Yeah. Some of his businesses don’t make money, like Tesla. They release glowing reports that retards eat up, while anyone who worked in the actual 100+ year old auto industry look at these sillicon valley nerds who think they know fucking everything after a few years of research and just wait for the inevitable explosion. (Despite their cheery PR, people who know what they’re looking at see nothing but trouble in their business. To say nothing of how the Ultimate Dream of Everyone Driving Electric is flawed by the basic resource limitations of PLANET FUCKING EARTH. And then there’s shady shit. When they discovered that the established automakers have hundreds of acres and tens of millions of dollars worth of suspension torture-testing facilities for a goddamn reason, instead of repairing their janky suspensions under warranty, they offered to pay half the repair cost if the customer would sign a fucking nondisclosure agreement. Tucker Torpedo this motherfucker ain’t, is all I’m saying.)

But ya know what? I can forgive that, because SpaceX. SpaceX forgives a lot. And there is a business case there - there’s enough rich virtue signalling fuckheads to support a small car company, at the very least - so the premise itself isn’t just pissing up a suspension bridge cable on a bridge to nowhere, like most venture capital bullshit. Even the Hyperloop isn’t that bad, because even though it’s fucking retarded, Elon’s probably only looking at it because of his “Boring Company” project. He looked at the ongoing clusterfucked abortion of a high-speed rail line that California’s doggedly carrying to term, and correctly surmised that digging fucking tunnels the length of a huge earthquake zone would be cheaper, in the long run, than trying to navigate the political clusterfuck of buying contiguous right-of-way for the whole damn length. A tunnel is a tube, and as long as it’s a tube, you may as well use the damn Hyperloop thingy, right? There is thinking, there. A brain, is working. And hey, at one point SpaceX was an idea just like this - the Great Ones of industry often leave a trail of dead and dying projects behind them while the One Great Success just climbs higher and higher. It’s worth it, and it’s why Trump’s “six bankruptcies” don’t mean jack shit compared to his dozens and dozens of successful businesses.

And yet - despite that amazing presence of a god damned brain in his skull - he still manages to go full fucking retard sometimes to a degree that makes me want to catch his tongue with a vise-grip to make the stupid noises stop.

Elon’s dumb-fuck bullshit

This slashdot article neatly sums up the problem. The short version is that lots of very rich people in Sillicon Valley were going around acting very serious about the possibility that our entire world and universe is just a huge computer simulation and we gotta try to break out of it somehow.

Billionaires. These people are fucking billionaires. And this is how they spend their time. This quote from Business Insider sums up the reason why:

The piece doesn’t give any clue as to who those two billionaires are – although it’s easy to hazard a few guesses at who they might be, like Musk himself or Altman’s friend Peter Thiel – but it’s fascinating to see how seriously people are taking this theory. According to Musk, it’s the most popular topic of conversation right now.

“The most popular topic of conversation right now.” If ever you doubted that there’s a vast wealth discrepency in the United States, look no further - not only is the West Coast rolling in economic opportunity for the right people - especially with the right connections - but there’s so many multi-zillionares out there that their entire social circle can consist of nothing but. This is some zany philosophical fad that caught on and percolated around, like memes and fads do, via usual social interaction - except for these people, their friends consist mainly or only of multimillionare tech CEOs.

And that, in a nutshell, is why obviously intelligent people who’s words can make stock prices in multiple huge companies employing many thousands of people do a damn jig feel no reservations at all about saying things in public that make them sound like fucking idiots. When you contemplate the sheer distance between the world of us ordinary humans and these privileged Coastal Gods, it’s enough to fill you with an almost instinctive rage. As a good seal-clubbing communist-hating rabid frothing conservative bigot bastard from Soviet Mordor, I wouldn’t give a shit if these Masters of Industry at least bore passing resemblance to the Randian ideal. I’d be down with that. Even if their huge underwater cities did spring a leak and a massacre or two, that’s life, you know?

But this shit? This!? No. I draw the fucking line here, pal. There’s some floof-ass hair-brained bullshit I’m not going to stomach.

But entirely aside from my impassioned-downtrodden-country-boy-rage-at-the-coasties-grapes-of-ree, there is the simple fact that people idolize, hero-worship and generally LISTEN to this man, and that imparts some level of responsibility on him to not say fucking stupid shit. The reason I’ve resisted making a Paetron for so long (aside from my crippling depression, self-doubt and general talent for self-sabotage) is that it’d impinge, ever so slightly, on my total freedom to say any stupid shit I want, because I’m not beholden to anyone, at all, to sound sane or coherent. (My fiction writing is a testament to this.) So I’m keenly aware of the decorum and care a public speaker ought to have - it relates directly to how big an impact his words are liable to have on people, and for Musk, that’s a lot.

Elon’s latest shtick - which is also popular with all his millionaire friends - is screaming and crying about how AI is going to replace all of us. Well, no, that’s just the luddite screeching of Sillicon Valley in general now, Musk is actually claiming that AI will rise up and fucking kill us or some bullshit. His newest company, OpenAI, has a great business model and all - developing mind-machine interfaces, which is a thing and will be a much bigger thing in short order - but he’s still going around telling everyone that AI is some evil terrible scary thing, and that’s causing actual goddamn harm. It’s all fine and good to loathe “science deniers” if they’re arguing against climate change, food pasteurization, the Health Dangers of GMO Crops and childhood vaccinations, but when it’s bullshit like the health effects of radio waves and the coming AI apocalypse, suddenly these fucking geeks are all ears. And here they have a successful CEO who’s Made Science Things Fly and has half the world sucking him off repeating this chicken-little fear-mongering bullshit. In ten to twenty years the anti-vaccers are gonna be screaming NO AI NO DRIVERLESS WHATEVERS REEEEE AND IT’S GOING TO BE THE FAULT OF PEOPLE LIKE ELON FUCKING MUSK.

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delwray-blog · 5 years

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WAR AGAINST THE HATRED IN THE HUMAN HEART

MY WAR AGAINST THE HATRED IN THE HUMAN HEART

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

What is the Heart according to the Bible?

I’ve lived to be in my seventies now and during all those many years there has been one event, one experience I’ve longed for more than anything else and that is the day my Lord Jesus Christ is magnified and glorified in His written and spoken Word. When He returns and makes an end to sin. I know that will not happen until Jesus Christ comes and makes war on the human hearts of all Christ-rejecters. The Creators recreation of this, His fallen creation that now sets and waste in ruin, where sin has made its entrance with total devastation and the undoing of humankind, this earth, and its heavens. “We wait for new heavens and new earth…” If I may let me use the old expression “I told you so.” “I told you so.” During all those many years one question has nagged my mind like a plague and that question is “why?” I wish I had a penny for every time that word crossed my mind. I would be a multi-millionaire! Why? Of course, God answered that question many years ago as far as I am concerned but as far as its acceptance it has taken many years. And the failure in accepting God’s response to the question why is the root of all the problems that men suffer and have ever had to suffer. Still today as down through history man refuses to accept God’s answer!

One Sunday morning at the age of eighteen I questioned one of the prominent deacons in my home church after a Sunday school class, I had him read Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it.” I told him what I thought it meant and that was exactly what it said! I’ve never forgotten his response, he said, Del, “Oh, it doesn’t mean that the heart is not that bad.” Even then I knew that man had a problem but because of his position in the church, he being my senior and out of respect I turned and walked away confused and honestly upset that he did not believe God’s Word. I knew even then there were fools in the church and he was one of the biggest! Only a fool will not take God at His word! You see his daughter was my high school sweetheart. And as far as I know, Mr. Carruthers never got right because of his wealth and prominence in the First Baptist Church of Newport News, Virginia. He owned the largest real estate and insurance company in the Hampton Roads area and died far too young, it was so sad.

Man will never really know his true condition “why wrong exist” “why there is evil in the world” until he’s ready to accept God’s answer! Men refuse to believe God, Christians don't believe God, and our churches are in a mess today because men don’t believe the Bible! “Why are ye of so little faith?” Jesus asked. We will not accept God’s reply or answer to the reason for evil being in the world. His answer gets right down personal, it comes home, and we are the reason, we are the guilty villains. We deny responsibility! The why and God’s reply! Oh! We claim to believe God and take Him at His Word when in reality we call Him a liar. Ninety-nine percent (99%) of church members deny God’s Word right here! We go along with the Bible corrupters and change God’s Word to suit our own agendas just smiling at God, when God

knows the heart of every man, searches the hearts of men to find out what is in man and still they go on refusing to agree with God, refusing to accept God’s diagnosis when it comes to the condition of man’s heart! THE HATRED IN THE HEARTS OF MEN! And what to do about it! My war against the hatred in man’s heart! Prisons, sanatoriums, hospitals, nursing homes, armed forces, wars, treaties, laws, judges, lawyers, police departments, asylums, doctors, nurses, social entities and much more exist because of the hatred in man’s heart! If we could cure the hatred in man’s heart there would be no need for any of the vocations just listed. The economy would collapse! Do you think men want a cure for man’s hatred? Not on your life or mine, “men love darkness, rather than light because their deeds are evil.” We are the culprits, we are the guilty ones and we reject God’s estimation, condition of our own hearts rather choosing to live in darkness.

One preacher friend asked years ago if I would trust him. And when I told him “no” he hasn’t spoken to me in twenty years. Even after many attempts to rectify my rationale for saying no. He just would not accept my explanation, “man’s heart departs from the Lord.”

“Thus saith the LORD; CURSED be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.” Jeremiah 17: 5 God doesn’t trust you, me or anyone! Get that settled right now!

Some time back I preached a revival in Graham, NC, on a Monday night, I delivered a message on Brokenness and the Human Heart the Sure Way to Revival. After services, several of the men cornered me and ask why I hated human nature so much, not even giving me a chance to reply. So I just said because God hates it! God hates the heart of fallen man! He’s at war with the heart! There can never be any peace between God and the flesh, your fallen heart. You may offer God your heart but He would never accept it! It’s corrupt, vile, wicked and incurable. He does offer to replace it with a new one to all who will believe, yes, He does! So what is meant by the heart in the Bible? I’m glad you ask.

What is the heart, what is meant by the heart in the Bible?

First, I’ll state the obvious: this article is not about the heart as a vital organ, a muscle that pumps blood throughout the body. Neither is this article concerned with romantic, philosophical, or literary definitions.

Instead, I’ll focus on what the Bible has to say about the heart. The Bible mentions the human heart almost 300 times. In essence, this is what it says: the heart is that spiritual part of us where our emotions and desires dwell.

Before we look at the human heart, we’ll mention that, since God has emotions and desires, He, too, can be said to have a “heart.” We have a heart because God does. David was a man “after God’s own heart” Acts 13:22. And God blesses His people with leaders who know and follow His heart (1 Samuel 2:35; Jeremiah 3:15).

The human heart, also called the soul in the Bible, in its natural condition, is evil, treacherous and deceitful. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” In other words, the “fall” has affected us at the deepest level; our mind, emotions, and desires have been corrupted by sin—and we are blind to just how all-encompassing that sin is, how comprehensive the problem, the total ruin of man. The deceitful heart! Even in believers “there is none good, no not one” we all still carry around the sinful nature, the old man, that dirty heart that has been corrupted by the fall. The only difference between the natural man and the saved man is the Holy Spirit. God the Holy Spirit who has moved in and desires complete control; He is the Preacher, the Soul-winner the very life essence Himself.

We may not understand our own hearts, but God does. He “knows the secrets of the heart” (Psalm 44:21; see also 1 Corinthians 14:25). Jesus “knew all men, and had no need that anyone should testify of man, for He knew what was in man” John 2:24-25. Based on His knowledge of the heart, God can judge righteously: “I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.” Jeremiah 17:10.

“But the LORD said unto Samuel, look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Jesus pointed out the fallen condition of our hearts, of our natures in Mark 7:21-23: “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.” Our biggest problem is not external but internal; all of us have a heart problem. It’s been said that we all were born wrong!

In order for a person to be saved, then, the heart must be changed. This only happens by the power of God in response to faith. “With the heart, one believes unto righteousness” (Romans 10:10). In His grace, God can create a new heart within us (Psalm 51:10; Ezekiel 36:26). He promises to “revive the heart of the contrite ones” Isaiah 57:15.

God’s work of creating a new heart within us involves testing our hearts (Psalm 17:3; Deuteronomy 8:2) and filling our hearts with new ideas, new wisdom, and new desires (Nehemiah 7:5; 1 Kings 10:24; 2 Corinthians 8:16).

The heart is the core of our being, and the Bible sets high importance on keeping our hearts pure: “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

In every one of us, there is someone inside of us looking out at the world around them, looking out by way of the eyes of our body, the eyes of the soul.“The eye is the entrance to the soul”, by which that someone sees the world around them and that someone is the real you, the heart. Actually, no one has really seen Del Wray they see the body in which he lives. You’ve never seen me a day in your life! No, you haven’t! I’m inside my body looking out at you. Let me put it this way scripturally:

“No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.”John 1:18

“If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him. Philip saith unto him, Lord, shew us the Father, and it sufficeth us. Jesus saith unto him, have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip? He that hath seen me hath seen the Father; and how sayest thou then, Shew us the Father? Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? The words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works.”John 14: 7-10

It may seem contradictory but it’s not when understood as a trichotomy.

The soul and the spirit are the two primary immaterial aspects that Scripture ascribes to humanity. It can be confusing to attempt to discern the precise differences between the two. The word “spirit” refers only to the immaterial facet of humanity. Human beings have a spirit, but we are not spirits. However, in Scripture, only believers are said to be spiritually alive (1 Corinthians 2:11; Hebrews 4:12; James 2:26), while unbelievers are spiritually dead (Ephesians 2:1-5; Colossians 2:13). In Paul's writing, the spiritual was pivotal to the life of the believer (1 Corinthians 2:14; 3:1; Ephesians 1:3; 5:19; Colossians 1:9; 3:16). The spirit is the element in humanity which gives us the ability to have an intimate relationship with God. Whenever the word “spirit” is used, it refers to the immaterial part of humanity that “connects” with God, who Himself is Spirit (John 4:24).

The word “soul” can refer to both the immaterial and material aspects of humanity. Unlike human beings having a spirit, human beings are souls. In its most basic sense, the word “soul” means “life.” However, beyond this essential meaning, the Bible speaks of the soul in many contexts. One of these is humanity’s eagerness to sin (Luke 12:26). Humanity is naturally evil, and our souls are tainted as a result. The life principle of the soul is removed at the time of physical death (Genesis 35:18; Jeremiah 15:2). The soul, as with the spirit, is the center of many spiritual and emotional experiences (Job 30:25; Psalm 43:5; Jeremiah 13:17). Whenever the word “soul” is used, it can refer to the whole person, whether alive or in the afterlife.

The soul and the spirit are connected, but separable (Hebrews 4:12). The soul is the essence of humanity’s being; it is who we are. The spirit is the aspect of humanity that connects with God.

The soul and the heart may be considered as one and the same, vile, corrupt and evil apart from Jesus Christ! The real you!

Visiting a missionary friend of mine several years ago in Virginia, she was in her late nineties, on her death bed in the living room of her sister’s home, after having spent her entire adult life on the mission field in Africa. This dear woman had granted her library to me and we went by to thank her. We, my wife and I talked with her for hours, her mind and speech was clear as any fifty years old. She told us something that I’ll never forget as she described the heart of man. She said, “In every one of us there is a serpent that’s out to kill us and that serpent is the heart.” She knew human nature very well. And the crux of this article is just this:

We do not know our own hearts! Human nature!

We who are believers do not know the depths to which SIN has taken and befallen the Human Race. Our hearts deceive us! We deceive ourselves! The human race is its own worst enemy!

And if I’ve learned anything during the last seventy-two years it’s to hate myself. I don’t even trust myself “The fool trusteth in his own heart.” (Prov. 28:26) “The fool hath said in his heart there is no God.” (Psalms 14:1) My own heart has deceived me so gravely and dangerously. Ninety-eight percent 98% of sin in this sin-cursed world and in the individual life comes from the heart of man. Only two percent 2% is caused by the temptation of the world, flesh and the devil. Only a fool will not believe what I’m writing here! Let me give you a perfect example and I do not wish to be callas as I write of the most recent death of Robin Williams the Hollywood comedian, who was found dead two nights ago from hanging as he committed suicide. Robin Williams, they say took his own life because of depression. He had everything a man could want, money, fame, popularity, lived in a mansion with a wonderful family. Still, he committed suicide; his heart got the best of him. Nothing could fill the void in his life even after all he had acquired. Folks, only Jesus Christ can fill the void and empty longing in a man’s heart. Speaking for myself, I’m afraid to act, to speak without the power of God on me and certainly, it has to be within the confines of God’s precious holy Word! Knowing one day I will give an account to Him! I take it very seriously! Let me quote William Tyndall:

"I call God to record against the day we shall appear before our Lord Jesus Christ to give a reckoning of our doings that I never altered one syllable of God's Word against my conscience."

Until we who make up His visible, local church come to grips with this matter of the depravity of the human heart we only bring derision and scorn upon ourselves and His church.

“Well; because of unbelief they were broken off, and thou standest by faith. Be not high minded, but fear: For if God spared not the natural branches, take heed lest he also spare not thee.”

Rom. 11: 20-21

America is in the condition that it’s in right now because believers won’t believe God when it comes to the condition of our own hearts. The poison from the serpent, “hatred in the human heart” has affected us all”.

Why does a ten-year-old boy walk into his father’s bedroom with a shotgun and murder his father while he’s sleeping? How can a mother drown her five children in a bathtub blaming it on voices in her head? What possesses a mother to strap her two children in car seats and then push the car into a lake in NC while watching them drawn? It’s happening hundreds of times every day right here in America. I’ll tell you why; “hatred in the human heart.” That’s why! And we Christians think we are better than other folks. God have mercy on us! Every preacher in America, every Christian here in America as well as around the world, you stray far enough away from God the potential is there in you to do the same thing as above. I know an independent Baptist preacher whose son professes to have gotten saved and for years was devoted to his father’s church, married got away from the church and out of jealousy bludgeoned his wife to death with a hammer, she was unrecognizable. Buried his wife a year ago and he now sets in prison in West Virginia, still awaiting trial for murder. America will never be saved from the trash dump of nations until us Christians do business with God over the wickedness in the human heart! God knows my heart, He knows your heart, and He knows I love people! I love you! And that’s the only reason for this document. The greatest need of mankind is victory over the hatred in the human heart!

I’m not trying to be mean spirited or hateful towards anyone, I have no ax to grind, we’ve just gone down the road the wrong way for far too long and I’m afraid there’s no way back except for those individuals who come to Jesus Christ before it is too late! How can I overcome this hatred in my heart? You say there’s no hatred in my heart and after reading this paper. Yes, there is! You wait to someone offends you or crosses you the wrong way. Just wait! Open up your Bible and read what God says we are to do! Read it yourself!

WHAT ARE WE TO DO?

“For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.” (Isaiah 57:15)

“For all those things hath mine handmade, and all those things have been, saith the LORD: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word.” (Isaiah 66:2)

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” (Psalms 51:17)

“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” (Psalms 34:18)

Read the entire Chapter of Isaiah 66

“Thus saith the LORD, The heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool: where is the house that ye build unto me? And where is the place of my rest?

For all those things hath mine handmade, and all those things have been, saith the LORD: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word.

He that killeth an ox is as if he slew a man; he that sacrificeth a lamb as if he cut off a dog's neck; he that offereth an oblation as if he offered swine's blood; he that burneth incense as if he blessed an idol. Yea, they have chosen their own ways, and their soul delighteth in their abominations.

I also will choose their delusions, and will bring their fears upon them; because when I called, none did answer; when I spake, they did not hear: but they did evil before mine eyes, and chose that in which I delighted not.

Hear the word of the LORD, ye that tremble at his word; Your brethren that hated you, that cast you out for my name's sake, said, Let the LORD be glorified: but he shall appear to your joy, and they shall be ashamed.

A voice of noise from the city, a voice from the temple, a voice of the LORD that rendereth recompence to his enemies.

Before she travailed, she brought forth; before her pain came, she was delivered of a man child.

Who hath heard such a thing? Who hath seen such things? Shall the earth be made to bring forth in one day? Or shall a nation be born at once? For as soon as Zion travailed, she brought forth her children.

Shall I bring to the birth, and not cause to bring forth? Saith the LORD: shall I cause to bring forth, and shut the womb? Saith thy God?

Rejoice ye with Jerusalem, and be glad with her, all ye that love her: rejoice for joy with her, all ye that mourn for her:

That ye may suck, and be satisfied with the breasts of her consolations; that ye may milk out, and be delighted with the abundance of her glory.

For thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river, and the glory of the Gentiles like a flowing stream: then shall ye suck, ye shall be borne upon her sides, and be dandled upon her knees.

As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem.

And when ye see this, your heart shall rejoice, and your bones shall flourish like an herb: and the hand of the LORD shall be known toward his servants and his indignation toward his enemies.

For, behold, the LORD will come with fire, and with his chariots like a whirlwind, to render his anger with fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire.

For by fire and by his sword will the LORD plead with all flesh: and the slain of the LORD shall be many!

They that sanctify themselves, and purify themselves in the gardens behind one tree in the midst, eating swine's flesh, and the abomination, and the mouse, shall be consumed together, saith the LORD.

For I know their works and their thoughts: it shall come, that I will gather all nations and tongues; and they shall come, and see my glory.

And I will set a sign among them, and I will send those that escape of them unto the nations, to Tarshish, Pul, and Lud, that draw the bow, to Tubal, and Javan, to the isles afar off, that have not heard my fame, neither have seen my glory; and they shall declare my glory among the Gentiles.

And they shall bring all your brethren for an offering unto the LORD out of all nations upon horses, and in chariots, and in litters, and upon mules, and upon swift beasts, to my holy mountain Jerusalem, saith the LORD, as the children of Israel bring an offering in a clean vessel into the house of the LORD.

And I will also take of them for priests and for Levites, saith the LORD.

For as the new heavens and the new earth, which I will make, shall remain before me, saith the LORD, so shall your seed and your name remain.

And it shall come to pass, that from one new moon to another, and from one Sabbath to another, shall all flesh come to worship before me, saith the LORD.

And they shall go forth, and look upon the carcasses of the men that have transgressed against me: for their worm shall not die, neither shall their fire be quenched; and they shall be an abhorring unto all flesh.”

Apart from God, the Holy Spirit man is a helpless, hopeless ship, wrecked on the shores of time, with only a moment between him slipping beneath the waves of sin and drowning in the endless seas of eternity having his destiny fixed in the torments of Hell with no relief and no exits! No hope, empty and lost! The only answer being the presence of Jesus Christ in the new heart God promise to those who will believe Him!

“For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.” Rom. 5:10 Saved by HIS LIFE!

One is truly saved by God’s grace and sanctified, spiritually grows, thru God’s grace ALONE! Because of the very indwelling presence of God, Jesus Christ in his life! Not my life, not how I live but He lives thru me! I’m not the preacher, He is! I’m not the soul winner, He is! I’m not the Christian present, He is! Preacher’s who stand behind the pulpits and deliver the greatest oratorios ever, even a thousand powerful sermons eloquently. They are committing high treason against the very throne of God if Jesus Christ is not the preacher, the One doing the preaching and the only One who can transcend time and space dealing, doing business with the hearts of His listeners!

"To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory:" Col 1:27

Do you have Jesus Christ in you?

If not or you’re not sure here’s how:

“Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ…” Acts 16:31

Look it up in your Bible!

“But as many, as receive Him…” John 1:12

Read it from God’s own Word yourself!

“…God be merciful to me a sinner…” Luke 18:13

Read it! Try it! God will work it out in you!

Your heart can deceive you but God’s own Word will never! He cannot lie.

Believe it!

If I can help please feel free to contact me: http://biblerays.com

“In every one of us there is a serpent that’s out to kill us and that serpent is your heart.”

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dwestfieldblog · 6 years

Text

DELUSIVE ENLIGHTENMENT MEGLOMANIA

2019...and a true two minutes to midnight on the doomsday clock. Now there's a king hell lead entrance eh? Annihilation and dystopia, coming soon to a planet near you...'One total catastrophe like this, is just the beginning' What did I learn last week? The name of the Egyptian god who created the universe by masturbating was Atum. Worth mentioning eh? Seeds of creation in atoms, his chosen warrior must have been Onan the Barbarian. And...Ethyl formate is in the centre of the galaxy, tastes like rum and smells of raspberries. Close your eyes and you are there. 'Meta programming the human bio computer' Dr John Lilly. 'Art and science have their meeting in method'. Bulwer Lytton. A long collage from the magician's hat......

Back in late January, the dubious blue shaded Bono of U2 was railing loud and hard against the evils of capitalism...surely I am not the only one to see the deep level of irony in this...A multi millionaire from writing songs with a number of offshore investments and minimal tax payments (well, only a few humans actually want to pay the tax demanded, but some of them can afford to pay it)...Without capitalism it is a touch unlikely he could have made so much money and kept it... only the corrupt in various regimes get to be so rich - and precious few musicians get this much moolah...Some messianic front men should never be allowed to do anything other than sing and dance. Still haven't found what you are looking for?

Anyway, Jesus said 'When you give arms,do not let your left hand know what your right is doing, so that your arms may be given in secret'. Or maybe it was alms. Arf. Don't show your hand too early:-) Ace of spades high. Speaking of which...

White House Spokesperson Sarah Sanders mentioned on a religious TV network that God 'wanted' (Useful Idiot) Trump the gurning Golden Reptile 'to be the American President.' Perhaps that is true...maybe he will be the last moron leader that will make people truly aware and take more care over who they choose to elect in a democracy. Fnord. 'Well ah trust him cuz he aint a politician and he speaks his mind'. Duhh.What does he actually say when he speaks his mind? He has certainly been a gift (in more mysterious ways than one) to Presidents and populists in other dubious countries as proof of how useless free elections can be and how simple it is to affect them from afar and within. A standard bearer who carries his nation's flag so low he should be arrested under the U.S law for defamation. Germaphobes like walls, but a touch pointless when you have such filthy hands. A new world disorder....Love the title of the book 'Crippled America' by D. Trump with a scowling picture of the blonde psychopath on the cover. Says everything about the USA today. And love even more the idea of his Space Farce/Force... Flash Gordon meets Star Trek. Trump as Captain Kirk and Pence as Spock. Tired of being the policeman of the world, time to be the Warriors of the Universe and have laser space fights with China. (Wonder how their president chooses to interpret the I Ching? May he live in interesting times.)

'Sovereign' internet for Russia...(or 'the World Wide Web without the world', as the BBC World Service put it) a new law being prepared to control exactly what internet goes in to the Motherland and protect their people from freedom. Arf. Wouldn't want any false news or manipulated election results going on there eh? Or access to non Kremlin approved news. We shall see if this actually passes into legislation. What do the majority of Russian people actually think about this? Goddess bless Pussy Riot, Tatu and Vladimir Vysocki. Mr. Putin, remember Dostoevsky. ( A week after writing that, 15,000 demonstrated in Moscow against the proposed new laws. There is already a law making it illegal to insult a member of government. Not much room for satire or polite criticism, but Russia has never pretended to be a democracy.)

World leaders in more and more countries following the old western lead in starting a war on the basis of an outright lie and receiving no punishment for it. (Perhaps at the gates of Saint Peter. ) Well, if the ones in 'Christian' democracies can get away with war crime atrocities under the pretence of righteousness and liberation, why not them? And let's not forget the ever useful catch all word 'terrorist', carte blanche to get away with murder and invasion on false pretexts. Terrorists are not shopkeepers, students, quiet religious folk or disaffected individuals without guns who disagree with their government and march/write songs in demonstration to protest apparent/ obvious wrongness. Terrorists use fear, manipulation and extreme violence to maintain, assert and spread their power. (and how many governments fit that description?) They don't make pop videos, they make snuff movies.

Step by incremental naughty step Hungary and Poland becoming ever more damaged, Britain, Europe and America being gleefully and carefully encouraged to pull themselves apart. I have never (well, from the age of about seven, so that is almost never) been a believer of what America and Britain did to dominate the world in olden times Whatsoever. BUT, life under a Sino-Russian world government?? FECK that. All those wannabe socialists from western universities are going to have a screaming bloodily rude awakening in a red dawn. Or perhaps they have such a well built narrow reality tunnel that all will seem just fine and dandy when 'their' system wins and will thrill to the new accepted literature. Slightly depressing how this current apparent time stream appears to be developing.

(Maybe a temporary control in the chaos is all most generations can wish for. Perhaps only a sidestep into the actual flow of the river which seems to be chaos is all that is needed to evolve into a deeper awareness. 'Sink or swim' appears to be false option perpetuated by alpha types. Flow, surrender control, and in the Being so, a (deep breath) an open hearted universal view...Makes astral sense to some of us.)

Totalitarianism is a foul bastard swine whatever side or form it takes, political or religious. Read interviews with those who survived life under the Nazis AND the Communists. Or those who escaped extremes of the main religions, those in new age mind warp sects, having their souls drained via manipulation and enforced delusion. Cowed into kowtowing, despising the manipulations but knowing how much it hurts to think and feel...and so choosing the easier path of submission. Some people are proud of endlessly suffering pain, but only very rarely does their endurance create a stronger person. Survive yourself. As the song says, 'The final conflict is within'. Stand, kneel, adopt the lotus, just don't bend over and expect anything positive to come your way. (Unless...yes you can guess the rest...)

And as for all the student snowflakes no-platforming dissimilar voices to harm their delicate ears and cluttering up the channels tweeting meaningless self righteous rubbish, shouting so loud there is no actual debate...where do you imagine your place will be in the new world scheme? Outsiders will be enslaved or executed by 'popular' demand. You are not Chinese dissidents in prison, however you might feel. You have the right to be heard, (even as you deny that to others) but not the right to deafen and attack. Did you ever wonder about the past mentality and spirituality of those who could stand and watch a heretic/ witch' being burned to death at the stake or these days, those who can sit in a small invited audience to watch a man be fried alive in a chair? Those men who could watch and take part in a gang rape? To coin an old comedic phrase; 'That's you, that is.' Dig into the dirt and get to the molten core of morality. Find yourself there, then choose the height of your evil, the depth of your Love without ego. Ethics. Arf. Thus spoke Westfieldthruster.

'The black man motivates, the other man imitates'...Damn straight.

'But I'm confused between sexual, murder, magical and medical, is the difference metrical or imperial, septic, fertile, feral or sterile?' Health and deficiency. (J>B)

(Diary...There is no one in my life in any way for whom I do not have respect. Empathy and compassion I have, long term patience too but after my respect is gone then so are they. Deleted. This will very highly likely apply to myself. But I have never done anything with a woman that I wouldn't allow her to do to me, if she wished to. (So I am still a gentleman eh? ) Remember lonely boys, She might be a goddess but she's still human. Meanwhile again...Situation Normal, All Fecked Up...

After a certain age, recklessness ceases to be quite as attractive as once it did in youth, as 'Death becomes real'. (Dylan Moran) Illnesses and disabilities, permanent or otherwise increase in number with the procession of years and the long journey through suffering can make a human paranoid and fearful. Imagining the worst of declines can seem very logical. The 'unpleasant preliminaries' as Cohen said. Most of us have made up our minds (in a very literal sense) about what comes next or what doesn't and it is fairly easy, given how we adjust reasoning to fit with the least unpalatable truth to find a comfortable justification for our various behaviours. Self destructive types (which most of us seem to be in one way or another) use rationality to declare that if everyone dies including the thinker, then why not do what you enjoy the most for as long as you can. I do this and know of many others after the age of thirty who reached the same conclusion and followed through past sixty and beyond. Smoking, drinking, drugging, fighting can lead to some of the worst types of deaths. But even those who never did any of these things suffer strokes, dementia, heart attacks and chronic end of life pain. Just consistently negative thinking can make people ill, just in less obvious ways than smokers etc. So we/I seek to 'justify'.

Reactions to stress matter. A lot, But how many working people with families have the time to sit under a Bo tree or read Eckhart Tolle etc? Most of us appear to attract some mental/physical cataclysm as a way of taking stock and making a 'brutal re-appraisal of the situation'. (HST) Very often this is the only way a human stops what they are doing and starts thinking about Being. We all do what we do to keep various feelings and thoughts at bay, but the brain (and thus the body. 'Where a thought goes, a chemical goes with it'; Deepak Chopra) are not fooled and store it all up until overload occurs. Getting old is not for cowards. Shame I seem to be one, such die many times before their deaths. Endless physical pain and mental fear can do that and it is very hard to see that as an Initiation sometimes. And these days, most of the time. Glad I have a gun. How many of us can hope to die 'peacefully in our sleep'? Tranquillisers? Not quite the Portal of Daath, more like the gateway to the abyss. Which as uncle Frederick said, stares right back into you when you look long.

For those with patience, it is easy to say that meditation might well be the best way to re-programme the mind into letting go the poisons. To un-wire and react to stress in a more positive way. Discipline. Old habits die hard. Older habits die very badly. Alpha theta delta waves and LSD therapy? Chinese Auryvedic Reki Tantric massage, more sex for the endorphins and oxytocins? Some people will read this as a very dull and obvious piece of writing. Others will know all about the idea of suicide as a 'problem focused strategy'. Get on with dealing with and solving the attacks from within and without...Want the truth? A truth. There have been thousands of days when the only thing that kept me going was the thought of unwinding my useless tension with whisky for a few hours every night. And it is that lazy thought which has been killing me for the last 22 years. A liver is a remarkable organ unless you flood it with alcohol, the power of her regeneration is astounding until the tipping point is reached. Milk thistle isn't going to solve this. Can you tell how I feel today?

What causes that 'tension' Dave? The usual. Overthinking, self hatred, anger, desperation, guilt, regret, doubt, all the classics. Most of us seem to have these in various combinations during our lives. A generalisation but seems to be a fair one eh? Some people deal with the negatives in highly positive and/or immoral ways... regular holidays, saunas, horse tranquillisers, painting, flagellation, righteous causes, deviant behaviour, local politics, role playing (well, we all do that one way or another), virtual reality games (also), teaching things we should know better before we set ourselves up as such, conning the gullible with vague promises of better things, healers as politicians and vice versa seeking money and power/sex, lying to ourselves on an hourly basis, doing anything to be 'happy' and sustain the illusion that we are somehow promoting our immune system and to bring meaning to our existence. Burning through the days, raging with light because it seems sexier than being peaceful, Attempting immortality (in physical form) through health supplements, work, sport and having offspring. Faking our 'realities' until they temporarily become real. Working on massive ideas because we are captivated by the energy within them and the possibilities of a better life, curing dis-ease via mental, physical, chemical and spiritual research, using ourselves as a laboratory, exploring exactly what Will-Power truly means. Further and deeper into realms of the without which is truly inner, the macrocosm which is the microcosm. '100 books you must read before you die', the first of which is your own. Your very own Book of the Dead. A lifetime preparing before the next step.

Been there, done that. Next. (How arrogant.)

So, survive, evolve and move on...He writes with dead eyes and in daily pain. Normal is very overrated, whatever my foul mental weaknesses, I regret very little. Could always Do more. But Being is key. There is only a time limit on the flesh. 'Who will deliver me from this body of death?' What seems important to you? Really, truly? Define 'important' and instinctive reasons why. Or not...to hell with me, in hell I seem to be and to hell I go. Pathos and hubris simultaneously. Woo-hoo. Etc.

One more final 'time' for the universe...'God' is/was/probably possibly a telepathic scientist, architect of infinity, quantum physicist, astral engineer and a psychic musician. ALL. WE are tiny sparks and mirrors of 'God', parallel possibilities, all serving the purpose of existence, which is (so I seem to choose to believe) to Evolve and experience all that matter can. We do not all need to be Einstein, Da Vinci or Beethoven but we all are on various levels, perhaps less 'grand' (depending on perspective) but the Poet/ Creator is within us all every time we appreciate Nature, enjoy humour or a story well told, think of some connection for ourselves...Small things Matter:-) As the bishop said to the actress. Smaller things are Quarks. Arf.

Stanislav Grof... COEX...(Condensed experience montage. ) Eg, 'You are re-experiencing the birth process, remembering pre birth inter uterine events, reliving ancestral or archaeological crises of people/animals from whom you are descended, seeing the sub-atomic energy whorl from which Form appears, previsioning the Superhumanity of the future...all at once!' (That was, apart from the LIGHT that smashed into me for five seconds in a garden in 2008, exactly what I experienced in the Reconnection. It went far higher the next time. I do regret I didn't practice.

1.Amniotic universe – the womb. The only world that life knows at this point. Blissful feeling of peace and joy in a healthy womb. 2. Cosmic engulfment – no exit – Equilibrium disturbed, contractions begin- unbearable feeling of being stuck in hell with no way of escaping. 3. Death verses rebirth struggle – second clinical stage of childbirth, intense struggle for survival.4. Death versus rebirth experience – the child is born. Intense ecstatic feelings of liberation and love. New world begins. ...

I found this scrawled by me on an old A4 scrap of paper, not sure who actually wrote it, perhaps E. Tolle. Along with 'Conscious Ego...Self Image/Persona/... Subconscious memories...Shadow/Denied psychic material... Anima/Animus/ Opposite sex qualities...Collective Unconscious/Universal+archetypal processes. In a cycle learning and relaying...'Information received, decoded and transmitted by a structure'. (Definition of intelligence by R.A.W.).

An infinite number of reality tunnels threading in a spiral of a labyrinth between matter and the non physical. The 'Akashic Record' to tap into and imprint our own levels of experience, the Eye recording Itself. Individually/collectively. Why do we think? Why remember? Why care? Why create? What is the chemical programme which sparks curiosity and fascination? The survival trip is a journey to.....

.....................................................................................................................

Back in Middle School...I knew before I started the run/essay etc, that it was mine. No pride or ego, just knew I had already won. A calmness descended, not grit and determination, just KNEW it. And so it was, every time. Another example from life of no planning, just Being, THEN doing it. My entire life was full of these. Thinking never worked out for me. Everything good which has happened has been spur of the moment choices, instinct, following what (or who) I Love. TRYING (or trying too much) usually ends in tears. Parallel to this is the absolute negativity of my/the mind. Agree to be optimistic as a behaviourally rewarding hobby...he almost giggles.

Reprogramming takes effort and how many of us can say we are not lazy? The most regular homework I give to students is to just to write diary type paragraphs about things they notice or feel on various random days. I have been given some wonderfully honest expressive stuff. What would we reach across/back and tell ourselves at younger ages? What would we attempt to avoid or undo? This exercise is pointless if we feel negative or sadness over it. So don't. Arf. Self forgiveness is a beautiful thing, valuable and worthy. So are we. Stay warm and in flow:-) Last famous words unknown. Happy rebirthing Easter day again. And again.

'Today I broke a personal best, successive days alive':-)

LOVE.

0 notes

radioleary-blog · 6 years

Text

Donald Trump vs. Herbert Hoover vs. Back to The Future Part III

Okay, he’s the worst ever. President Trump is the worst President we’ve ever had, in my lifetime at least. To find a President that could even compete with Trump for the title of worst President ever, you’d have to get in a time-traveling Delorean and go back about a century. But I wouldn’t recommend you do that, some say that time-traveling in a car powered by a flux capacitor can possibly lead to Parkinson’s disease, especially if you do it for three movies. But the evidence for that is...shaky. Hey, why did those ‘Back To The Future’ films successively get so much worse? Couldn’t producer Robert Zemeckis just get in the Delorean and go forward in time to read the godawful reviews? If only Biff Tannen had stolen a movie guide instead of a sports almanac, he could have saved Universal Studios the 40 million dollars it spent making ‘Back To The Future Part III’. Wow, what a disaster! You know, I recently saw an ad for some network TV show where a team of intrepid multi-culti adventurers go back in time to save the Hindenburg from exploding, but I think ‘Back To The Future III’ may have been the bigger disaster. Yes, the Hindenburg was terrible, sure, but it all happened pretty quick. Whereas ‘Back To The Future III’ has a running time of two hours! Two hours of watching Teen Wolf and the stoner from Taxi yuk it up in the old West. “Oh, the inanity!”

You probably don’t even remember the movie. That's understandable, it’s a normal human response to block out cinematic traumas like that. To access those repressed bad-movie memories you’d need years of psychotherapy and hypnotic regression. Or basic cable. First of all, who would take a time machine and go back to the Old West? Nobody in their right mind, that’s who. Not even Dr. Who. It was about as bad a place and time as there was. All you could get in the Old West was syphilis or a gunshot wound. The Old West was even worse than Kanye West, he’d probably only give you one of those things.

If you could time travel to the far off future, why would you go back and watch a prospector fall down an abandoned mineshaft? You can watch Leonardo da Vinci paint the Mona Lisa, or you could go watch two drunk cowboys shoot each other for cheating at cards. Actually, that still happens quite often. No time travel necessary, just a bus ticket to Reno.

That’s why I don’t get this Westworld. That’s the place you want to re-create and populate with robots? I could think of dozens of better robot theme parks. Here’s one, how about Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion circa 1974? Hanging out with James Caan, a metric ton of cocaine, and every aspiring centerfold on the west coast sounds like a lot more fun than sitting in the middle of a train robbery shoot-out. Where am I, Chicago? But that’s just me, I guess. Want another great robot idea? How about a robot theme park of the cast of Seinfeld. That would be awesome! I would so go, we’d all go! And they’d all be there, not just Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine, but everybody. Mr. Pitt. Tim Watley. Jackie Chiles, Lloyd Braun, Kenny Bania, and of course, Uncle Leo. The bubble boy and Izzy Mandelbaum. “Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!” Let me know when they build it and I will date the robot Sue Ellen Mischke, the bra-less woman who caused a car accident. She may not be real, but they’re spectacular! Serenity now!

But I digress.

As I was saying, no one would time travel to the Old West.

If somebody actually had a time machine, the conversation would go something like this: “Hey, I have this time machine, and it’s all gassed up with bananas peels and deadly radiation or whatever the hell it runs on, where do you think we should go?”

“We can go anywhere in time? How about we check out a Jimi Hendrix concert! Let’s go see Jimi’s legendary set at Woodstock! Or the Fillmore East, 1970, that’s maybe his best concert ever! C’mon! Hendrix!! Either that or maybe we go back in time and check out Jesus! I’d be cool with that, too, either Jesus or Jimi Hendrix! Which one do you want to go see?”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’m worthy to be in the presence of God. So let’s go see Jesus.”

The amazing things you could see with a time machine would blow your mind. You could go see the Great Pyramids of Giza when they were brand new, and still under warrantee. Back when they still had that new Pyramid smell. The Pyramids don’t smell so good today, now the place really Sphynx. That joke never gets old, right? Don’t Tut-Tut me. It’s like they say, mo’ mummy mo’ problems.

You could go back and see who built Stonehenge...the Druids? The Picts? Or was Stonehenge a natural formation, like the face on Mars, and Mount Rushmore.

You could go back in time to see the dinosaurs just before the comet hit, and watch them climb into their dinosaur space-ships and fly off to populate other worlds. The dinosaurs that stayed behind were either wiped out or forced to live underground, until they were discovered by Marshall, Will, and Holly on Saturday mornings in the Land of The Lost.

The spacefaring dinosaurs, over millions of years, eventually became the Gorn, a very tough race of outer-space reptilians. But they got their lizard asses kicked in about 40 minutes by Captain James Tiberius Kirk, and single-handedly. You can say what you want about William Shatner being a complete diva and an asshole to work with, but the man kicked ass and saved the galaxy about a hundred times, and he did it all without a raccoon. As far as I’m concerned, Captain Kirk earned the right to cut scenes from the other cast members just to pad his own lines. Live long and fuck ‘em.

But I digress. I really, really digressed.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, this damn Back to The Future III, it’s kind of haunting me, how bad this movie is. It’s a shame the time-travelers from that TV show couldn’t go back in time and save the time-traveler’s movie franchise. And what is it with time-travel being so popular on television all of a sudden? When did that happen? On TV right now, there is the time-travel show I was talking about, NBC’s Travelers. Also, Fox has Making History, Hulu has 11.22.63, The CW has Legends of Tomorrow, Syfy has 12 Monkeys, and Comedy Central has Time Traveling Bong. And I already mentioned BBC’s Dr. Who. That’s a whole lot of time travel goin’ on! There’s no way there’s enough time in the day for a person to watch all these time-travel shows, you’d actually need to use a time machine to see them all. Or a DVR, I guess.

But I digress. Stop me before I digress again. I think this blog is about politics.

Oh yeah, Donald Trump is the worst President ever.

To find another President as bad as Trump, you’d have to go back at least as far Hoover. Herbert Hoover, that is, not J. Edgar Hoover. It’s easy to confuse the two of them, the Hoovers. But where Herbert Hoover liked to address the public, J. Edgar liked to wear a dress in public. And where Herbert Hoover’s dam looked good, J. Edgar looked damn good. But much like the Hoover vacuum cleaner of that era, both of these guys completely sucked.

Was Herbert Hoover worse than Trump? Let’s compare the two men:

Herbert Hoover was orphaned at an early age. He worked hard to found his own business and became a multi-millionaire. Donald Trump? He was born with a silver spoon up his ass and inherited his multi-millionaire dad’s real estate business. He then went on to bankrupt casinos, screw over independent contractors, and force people to humiliate themselves for jobs on national TV. Oh, and he’s good at firing beauty pageant winners if they gain a few pounds, then ridiculing them in the press. Hmm. it’s close, but I think I gotta give round 1 to Hoover.

Herbert Hoover was Stanford-educated, he was an engineer. But Trump must be smarter, after all, he had his own Trump University! And if it was a phony university like the fake news says, tell me how come all those students went on to earn millions of dollars? Oh, that’s right, it was a 25 million dollar class-action lawsuit settlement he paid out to avoid having his orange ass dragged into court. Round 2, Hoover.

Herbert Hoover built Hoover Dam, one of the greatest structural engineering feats in human history. But then again, Donald Trump built a huge pyramid scheme. So, I’d call this round a draw.

Before Herbert Hoover was President, he was in charge of enormous, complex relief operations in Europe during and after World War I. He served two Presidents as Secretary of Commerce, under both Warren G. Harding and Calvin Coolidge. Before Donald Trump was President? He was in charge of enormous, complex challenges like making Lou Ferrigno and LaToya Jackson make bagels and peddle them on the streets of Manhattan. Trump’s biggest executive decisions were made sitting in a boardroom with Dee Snider, Meatloaf, Joan Rivers, Sinbad, and Dennis Rodman. Who, sadly enough, would make far better cabinet secretaries than the ones he actually chose. Seriously, who do you think has more experience dealing with North Korean ‘weebles-wobble-but-they-don’t-fall-down’ dictator Kim Jong Un: Rex Tillerson or Dennis Rodman? Think about that one. Here’s a hint: it’s the guy with 11,954 rebounds. Dennis Rodman is the only person Trump knows who has actually sat down with ‘Lil Kim’ Jong Un, and he fired him. Now I don’t think I would trust the Worm to handle the North Korea situation by himself, but if he had Jordan, Pippen, and the rest of the 1995 Chicago Bulls with him, we’d have an NBA franchise in Pyongyang by now. And war would have to wait at least through the playoffs. Round 4, Herbert Hoover.

I think we can stop right there. It’s a K.O. at the O.K. corral. Move over, Herbert Hoover, there’s a new worst President in town.

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intuitionspecialist · 6 years

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Wise men count their blessings, fools their problems!

I like that saying! Let’s face it, we all have problems; life hasn’t been easy for many of us and even those who have a lot of money have problems. But as it has been said so often, it is all about how you deal with the problems and your perception of them. In other words, it does help if you are willing to empower yourself and work towards transforming your life for the better. For example, do you always see your glass as half full or half empty? Does what your neighbor has appeal more to you than what you have? Is your wish list so long that you forgotten what is really important and what will make you feel simple happiness?

I know some multi-millionaires who are miserable. They feel a lack of love, authentic companionship and genuine inner peace and calm. They are searching and seeking in the wrong places for contentment and joy, which only makes them feel even emptier inside. Even surrounded by others, they feel lonely and a common statement that I hear is, they do not feel fulfilled. Some even travel the world in search for their identity not realizing that the answer lies within their soul. To empower yourself to feel full and complete requires one to become vulnerable to self. To explore within the crevasses of your mind, body and soul all those quiet little messages that they hope you will explore for you to transform your life and live with inner peace of mind.

Wise men count their blessings, fools their problems! Yes, we all have our shortcomings and I guess we will always be challenged because that is a fact of life, but it is in the way we see life and the way we project its outcome that we truly find that sense of inner peace and calm we are seeking. If your soul or maybe even your body is screaming out in pain and looking for answers, maybe this is the time to sit still and reflect on all that you have in your life and in the attitude, behavior and the environment you cultivated over the years. No matter how large or small it may be, we all have something to be thankful for. Too many people throughout the world are suffering from resentment and bitterness—two very poisonous and dangerous traits. They have de finitely empowered themselves but in the wrong way. Even in some parts of the world and generation after generation, people are harboring those toxic thoughts that fester anger, resentment and greed because it is deeply rooted in their culture, yet those same people believe they are honoring their God and punish others in the name of God, so they can fulfill their end results. Those behavioral pattern open the door wide for sickness and disease to grow.

What hypocrites! Bitterness and resentment are like the plague—it will continue to spread unless contained and resolved. You have the power within you to change for your highest and best good. That is how you will transform your life so you can and will enjoy a wonderful feeling of inner peace and contentment. You have the power within you to break this chain of destruction and pettiness.

· Sometimes we cannot change the outcome but that is when we need to change our perception.

· Sometimes we cannot make things work out the way we want but that is when we need to adjust our thinking and learn from your situation.

· Sometimes we cannot predict other people’s actions or reasoning, but we can alter our ego, humble ourselves and be open to a new way of thinking as we, quite possibly, express gratitude instead of anger. These are only a few of the ways each one of us can empower ourselves to live a more healthy and beneficial lifestyle.

God is never far away—call him into your energy field and ask him to lift the veil and show you the way to think, live and play in a calm and peaceful manner. Daily count your blessings and give thanks for what you have; our lives are meant to be filled with joy, contentment and peace! Invite it into your life and feel the change take place.

#Wisdom CountYourBlessings FreeKnowledge

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live4yahushua-blog · 7 years

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Amightywind prophecy #51

Prophecy 51 THE CLARION CALL OF THE 144,000, FEAR NOT MY BELOVED LITTLE ONES, “I AM” RAISING UP A STANDARD AGAINST THE EVIL ONES!

Listen To This Prophecy As Spoken Through

Elisabeth (Elisheva)Given to Rev. Elisabeth Sherrie Elijah (Elisheva Eliyahu)

November 2, 2001

This is from Prophecy 105, YAHUVEH said to put this up on all Prophecies from now on: I warned you a long time ago Elisabeth (Elisheva) not to name this Ministry after a man or a woman even before there was a Ministry. I put it in your spirit for none of this has been done by your hand, none of this has come forth from your mouth. It is from the Mouth of YAHUVEH that has given birth. It is from the Mouth of YAHUSHUA your MASHIACH that has given birth. It is from the Mouth of the RUACH ha KODESH your IMMAYAH that has given birth. If it had only been by your hand it would have failed long ago. It is by the SHKHINYAH GLORY’S Wind that blows across this earth, the Holy Wind of Revival, it is not by your breath or it would have failed. (Isaiah 42:8)

In July 2010 YAHUVEH GOD also said to add the following from 2nd Chronicles before every Prophecy:

2 Chronicles 36:16, “But they mocked the Messengers of GOD, despised HIS Words, and scoffed at HIS Prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against HIS people, till there was no remedy.”

* * * * * * *

In the awe of YAHUVEH and YAHUSHUA, I deliver this prophetic word under the RUACH anointing. I ask now if anything doesn’t line up with the Holy Scriptures please let me know. I test every spirit that speaks especially in a prophetic message. Because so many are e-mailing me and are full of fear, I prayed for a word of encouragement, even for myself. While e-mailing back another sister who is a prophet needed encouragement, when I least expected it this prophetic message came forth. I pray these words will be a blessing to you and help you when fearful news comes our way. I know it will me. It is a frightening thing to be the mouthpiece for YAHUVEH and I pray that every word is as he wanted it said.

Feel free to copy and send to encourage others at a time fear is at an all time high.

Psalm 2 Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against YAHUVEH, and against his anointed, saying, Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us. He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: YAHUVEH shall have them in derision. Then he shall speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure. Yet have I set my king up on my holy hill of Zion. I will declare the decree: YAHUVEH hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee. Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for the inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter’s vessel. Be wise now therefore, O ye kings: be instructed, ye judges of the earth. Serve YAHUVEH with fear, and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him.

* * * * * * *

THE CLARION CALL OF THE 144,000,

FEAR NOT MY BELOVED LITTLE ONES,

“I AM” RAISING UP A STANDARD AGAINST THE EVIL ONES!

When the enemy comes in like a flood, I will raise up a standard against him. Because you have not yet seen it, do not fear that I have forgotten MY promise to do so. MY beloved fear not, again I, YAHUVEH, say fear not MY beloved little ones. I have not raised you up for this hour and endued you with the knowledge that I, YAHUVEH, have given you to forsake you now. You are one of MY anointed hidden ones. Now is the time to arise and come forth to aid your brothers and sisters in YAHUSHUA. I have given you lands, properties, ships, islands, houses and finances. I have secret millionaires; yes, even multi-millionaires and you have not been much use to MY Kingdom for you have stayed in the world’s eyes and yet tried to walk MY fine line. You have loved and served ME in secret, for you said to yourself, “What can I do for the Kingdom of YAHUVEH? How can I promote the Gospel of YAHUSHUA?” So you stay quiet and hidden, yet pray for someone else to do what you feel you cannot do. Soon, it will be too late to help MY Apostles and Prophets. Do you not yet understand the price even the one I am speaking through must pay, the attacks that must be fended off, not only in the physical realm, but the spiritual realm? Are you helping or are you being a hindrance?

I, YAHUVEH, am pouring many gifts into you. MY hidden ones have much Godly wisdom. Not only in this world but also in the RUACH ha KODESH spiritual realm have I blessed you. You have worked alongside the world and yet you stayed hidden. Many of you are geniuses. I have hidden you as doctors, lawyers, teachers, philanthropists, bankers, inventors, investors, artists, computer intellects, electricians, in the police force, all form of governments, senators, congressmen, statesmen, sales, owner of stores, franchises, real estate, captains, owners of ships, restaurants, all modes of transportation, actors, movie industries, singers, investors, brokers, writers, chefs, designers, contractors, there is no career that I don’t have MY beloved children hidden in. These are MY disciples who follow MY Son YAHUSHUA, and desire to obey YAHUVEH’s laws and these hidden ones are spread all over the world. The standard they use to measure man’s laws is this: Does it line up with the Scriptures? This is the standard they measure everything by; if it is truth the Torah and the Scriptures will confirm it.

I, YAHUVEH, have hidden you for such a time as this. Pray how to use your talents, gifts, wisdom, homes, real estate, finances, and spiritual gifts. All wisdom that does not go against MY Scriptures you are to use to help and barter with, at a time when there will be no other way to buy or sell or help others. Your wisdom, revelations, healing knowledge, and the education given to you will benefit others for such a time, and you will know when to use it, and where to help, and who to help. MY Apostles and Prophets need you to hide them for such a time as this, from the evil ones that seek their destruction, so no one can say they weren’t warned before judgment falls.

I, YAHUVEH, always send the prophets and apostles to speak, not only to repent, but also to forewarn of the dangers to come and how to escape the enemy’s clutches. MY hidden ones are to be bold when you share your hidden knowledge and revelations, that I, YAHUVEH, am giving you daily. I caution you, rely not on your own strength, but rely on YAHUSHUA’s strength, for it is sufficient enough for you no matter what you face. Is anything too hard for YAHUVEH to conquer? You face what you perceive as insurmountable walls that you can’t climb nor go around. With MY RUACH ha KODESH anointing, you will not fail. I, YAHUVEH, am breaking down the walls that keep you in bondage in the prisons where you have been set apart from others.

I, YAHUVEH, am now joining you with others, for these also will be MY hidden ones that I have hidden under the shelter of MY wings. Wait until you see the miracles that I, YAHUVEH, will do. You will see, it will be your finest hours as once again you see YAHUVEH deliver those that others seek to destroy, all because of MY Name. I, YAHUVEH, have chosen this prophet to call forth the Clarion Call of the 144,000. Learn the Song of Moses. In it is the victory in the Name of YAHUVEH! MY new mandate to this apostle daughter of MINE is: now is the time for you to seek YAHUVEH’s face and YAHUVEH’s will and YAHUVEH’s marching orders. Walk when YAHUVEH says walk, run when YAHUVEH says run, speak when YAHUVEH says speak and do nothing when you are told to just stand and wait. No matter how small of a decision, learn to pray for ME to reveal MY will, not your will.

I, YAHUVEH, am anointing MY chosen ones in a greater way than I have ever done before. Study and show thyself approved, so that no one can misguide you with the Scriptures. I, YAHUVEH, am assembling MY troops on the wall to defeat satan, and the demons that surround you. The weapons you have are not carnal, but spiritual. No weapon can match the unusual anointings that I have imparted in each of you, though you know it not. In MY timing you shall see the standard that I, YAHUVEH, will raise up against those that seek to harm the Christians and the Jews. All Israelites who call upon the Name of YAHUVEH, those who do not fear to use the Sacred Names, they realize that they have been deceived, and thereby taught wrong. There is anointing, saving, delivering, and healing power, in the Names of YAHUVEH and YAHUSHUA.

I, YAHUVEH, ask you this, will you forsake the promises I have given you? The Blessed Hope that I have given you? Why would I say you are not under MY wrath, but mercy and you teach others that I, YAHUVEH, will allow no escape for the Christians who call out to ME in YAHUSHUA’s Name? I, YAHUVEH, do have an ark for you. All MY Children who trust ME, will hear MY voice clearly, just believe, and keep asking ME. Do you think that I, YAHUVEH, have brought you thus far to fail you now? I, YAHUVEH, will not spare Israel because her people are more holy. In truth her sin runs just as rampant, the stench rises to Heaven as it does in nations around the world! Not one nation or people are better than the other. I, YAHUVEH, will not allow Israel to be destroyed completely for I, YAHUVEH, have made a covenant with Abraham and his seed.

MY Children who are grafted in by the Blood of MY Son YAHUSHUA, do not fear. I, YAHUVEH, will honor the Blood Covenant that I have with you also. Through the spiritual bloodline of YAHUSHUA, you are Jews also. Those that refuse YAHUSHUA’s Blood Covenant and say it is because they are Jews, those who reject YAHUSHUA as MY Son and your MESSIAH, be warned. Since you have refused MY gift I, YAHUVEH, gave you at Calvary, then those who only believe and have the faith that keeping the Torah, the Sabbath and the feasts will save them; I, YAHUVEH, remind you that without a sin sacrifice when you do sin there is no holy sinless offering and you will be judged not by YAHUSHUA, but by Moses and the laws of Moses. Woe be unto you when this happens.

There is no grace or mercy when Moses will judge at the Day of Judgment. If it was that easy do you think I would have sent MY beloved Son YAHUSHUA to suffer and die in your place? All have sinned and fell short of a perfect Creator. How much better for MY Children who know they are sinners and yet do the best they can to obey and repent, asking forgiveness in YAHUSHUA’s Name and know that YAHUSHUA is their Blood Covenant who also was sacrificed for their sins. YAHUSHUA will judge those who have accepted him as such, not the law of Moses, nor Moses. YAHUSHUA will judge the heathen who refuse to live Holy lives before ME and refuse the only Holy sinless blood atonement for sins.

Am I unable to deliver and protect you? The plans I, YAHUVEH, have for you are for good and not for evil. Trust ME and stop leaning on to your own understanding. MY Children acknowledge that I, YAHUVEH, alone have the answers and I, YAHUVEH, promise to direct your paths as you walk in MY footsteps. Your footsteps walking alone will lead you astray, but MY footsteps are sure solid steps that lead to victory. Believe and receive victory. Fight for what you know to be right. There are people that you have been dealing with that I am removing from your life to bring others to encourage and help support you in all ways.

Do not say that there is not yet time to do this or that. Instead realize am I not the FATHER of all time? The keeper of time I, YAHUVEH, am time itself. Who else can stop time, speed it up, or back it up? Beloved child and all children of MINE who call YAHUSHUA by Name and know they can do nothing without that Sacred Name, I have raised you up for such a time as this. You are part of MY hidden anointed ones. Although the enemy will gnash their teeth trying to harm you and they have written down your names, I also have written down their names in the Book of Damnation and these evil ones shall spend eternity in the Lake of Fire, reaping for what they are now sowing!

I shall prove to MY Children once again, if you listen to MY voice and walk in MY footsteps, you will outwit the enemies that seek to destroy you and all MY Children that are seeking to hear MY every word and who obey ME, or at least strive too and knowing that when they do sin they have YAHUSHUA’s Blood for the remission of sins. I your FATHER, YAHUVEH, shall confound them with the evil ones’ own technology. I will confound them with their own inventions. For no earthly or scientific reason the traps set for MY children will instead only entrap and boomerang back upon the evil ones that seek the followers of YAHUSHUA’s destruction. What I did once before with the evil pharaoh I will do again. By YAHUVEH’s hand alone the Goliaths of this world shall forever fall.

The ones I call evil secret keepers, who seek to use the secrets of the occult, demonism, scientific, political knowledge, and manmade laws to destroy MY Children, and take the freedoms I have given to MY Children away. I, YAHUVEH, will have a surprise in store for them; it will confound these evil ones that think themselves wise. They seek to harm MY Children. I, YAHUVEH, and MY Son YAHUSHUA, vow to protect those that are called forth, and anointed for this hour.

Those seeking to hear MY voice clearer than any other voice, these are MY true treasures on earth. All who call out to YAHUVEH and YAHUSHUA, and rely on MY RUACH ha KODESH to guide them through a most unusual anointing unlike anything yet seen, must realize I am now pruning them, and removing all in their lives that must be removed. Yes, even your loved ones must be pruned, or removed by YAHUVEH’s hand, for I must protect MY beloved ones. If they are not a help to you, and instead are a hindrance, then know that I will remove them, for they will betray you even unto death if YAHUVEH does not divide what was never meant to be joined as one.

Pray and intercede for your loved ones, but when I tell you to move, and yet do not tell you to take your unsaved loved ones with you, it will be a test of your love for YAHUVEH. Will you forsake all for ME, like when Lot was told to flee? He had no choice to divide from his wife; I turned her into a pillar of salt. I had to show him and his daughters the hard way. I demand obedience, especially when I send an angel to warn to “Get out, flee, this place is about to be destroyed.” Lot’s wife fled, but turned her head to look back, and grieve for all her possessions, home, and friends in the city. This is a lesson; when I tell you to flee, no matter what, obey or Lot’s wife’s fate will be even MY children’s fate.

Trust ME and know that the plans I have for you are for good and not for evil. I laugh as I hear the plots of the enemies, saying all Christians and Jews will die. Do not the enemies yet understand though they try hard to exterminate MY People such as the Roman Empire and Hitler did, the more they sacrificed the more were raised up? The blood of the saints who are sacrificed only will bring more saints to the Kingdom of Heaven. Sauls will become Pauls. The enemies are so foolish. Do they not think Heaven itself will rail against these demonic enemies and the skies themselves will pour forth MY wrath upon MY enemies that seek to use a machine that plays God? I am even now confounding the enemies in ways you know not. Beware oh enemies of MINE, for I shall turn your own creations against you and your loved ones. MY Children will be spared.

How many times already not only in America but Israel, I have spared these nations in this last month alone. But yeah not only that, but I say even the world would have destroyed itself, as one nation plays deadly war games against another nation, and for what revenge, greed, power, hungry for more control and power. I, YAHUVEH, alone promotes and disposes. When MY People cry in MY Son YAHUSHUA’s Name and cry out for mercy for the nation they live in as well as those that don’t live in it. How can I deafen MY ears, even if I wanted too? You are reading this now because I have extended time for one reason, for the sake of the intercessory prayers that have gone forth covering this world in MY Son YAHUSHUA’s Name. Your ark of safety thus far is the fervent prayers of the righteous.

I am YAHUVEH and there is no other like ME. The standard I raise against the evil ones that use their weapons to manipulate the brains of MY Children will find that not only will their weapons malfunction, but instead I shall turn every invention, every machine, every weapon, every disease, all biological weapons and all germ warfare against themselves. Even their own loved ones will be ashamed of them and the evil ones own bodies will refuse to live out their years. This is MY revenge against those that seek the destruction of YAHUVEH’s believers and followers of YAHUSHUA. I love you. Yes, even those that hate YAHUVEH. I alone created you and it will be YAHUVEH’s hand alone sent from Heaven that will destroy both your body and your soul, sending it into the Lake of Fire if you don’t repent in prayer, asking forgiveness in YAHUSHUA’s Name.

Leave America alone. Leave Israel alone. Leave MY Children the freedom to worship and serve ME in truth and anointed power. I set America apart to be the land of the free and blessed her with no war coming to her shores since the years gone by. America, don’t so freely give away what I have blessed you with simply because of fear. Speak up and remain the silent majority no more. Let your voices be heard. Remember when one loses the freedom of religion and even the wrong are censored; then all are in danger of losing their freedom of religion. Then all are in danger of losing their freedom of religion. MY Children know this is not about a religion being taken away; this is about a relationship with YAHUVEH and YAHUSHUA being changed to a form of religion with a form of godliness, but having no godliness within.

Beware enemies of YAHUVEH and YAHUSHUA; your very weapons of mass destructions will come back upon yourselves. You will send it out one way and the angels in heaven will turn it another way. I shall protect MY children as a mother lion protects her cubs. Beware enemies of YAHUVEH and YAHUSHUA, for you see, I hear MY Children cry out in fear and wonderment, for I have taught them to be peacemakers and not warmongers and this causes them astonishment at the level of wickedness of man’s inhumanity to men, women, boys and girls. I hear MY children’s cries of fear, for they realize in the natural realm they cannot protect themselves. Now you see why I call them MY Sheep and Lambs. What lamb or sheep can protect themselves? Does a lamb or a sheep have sharp claws, or sharp teeth, like I have given to other animals? No! A sheep only depends on the Good Shepherd to lead them to green pastures and clear water. MY true Sheep and Lambs have no shortage of manna, or Living Water. MY true sheep trust I, YAHUVEH, and YAHUSHUA as the Good Shepherd. MY Name is YAHUVEH. MY sheep will come only to the voice of “I AM,” and MY beloved Son YAHUSHUA, and will only hear our still small voice by the RUACH ha KODESH. (Holy Spirit)

I am that Good Shepherd! I will protect MY Sheep and Lambs from the wolves of this world. It is true, some of MY sheep are killed by the wolves, and some will suffer great persecution; but this has always been. Their rewards are not seen here on earth but in Heaven for eternity. I laugh when I hear how the enemies think that I, YAHUVEH, am blind, or deaf and mute, and will not repeat what I have heard to MY Apostles and Prophets. I warn MY children by speaking to their spirits. Is MY arm too short to deliver you MY children? Do you believe I am your Creator, YAHUVEH who created all in Heaven and Earth? Isn’t YAHUVEH the one who created your eyes and ears? Do you think I now have dim eyesight, or deaf ears, not to hear your prayers, and cries, and see, and hear what the enemies are doing? Do you think MY children that I will not raise up, and already have raised up a standard against the evil ones? They have their remote viewing, but I have MY angels that stand guard 24 hours a day, watching and reporting, all that the evil ones are doing!

Some are even using MY Son YAHUSHUA’s Name to try and deceive MY Children; sneaking in to the flocks of MY Sheep and Lambs, believing that they are unnoticed, and yet I see their hearts. I know what they have been sent to do. I know a wolf when I see one. I see satan coming as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

MY Children you can be deceived for a short while, but only as long as I allow it! Woe be unto that wolf that puts on the mask of a sheep to spy on MY Children and entrap them. What is the price of your soul? For that is what it will cost you. Your soul will be cast into the Lake of Fire. Repent today before it is too late! Run from the evil that you have done, and expose that evil for what it is. Help MY Children. Become one of MY hidden ones who will protect and not harm MY babies, Bride, chosen ones, and elect. Repent to all those that you have wronged. There is yet time for the wolves to become baby lambs. Only through MY Son YAHUSHUA’s Blood covenant is this possible. Run, wolf, run, for I, YAHUVEH, see you. You only think you’re invisible and blend in.

I have watched the tares, and the wheat grow side by side, and now the time is upon this world where MY angels shall shortly pluck out the tares, and burn them where they will burn for eternity, first in hell and then in the Lake of Fire. MY eyes always are on guard, for I jealously love, and protect MY Sheep and Lambs. Beware you who are unequally yoked, for your own spouses are wolves in disguise. A marriage not ordained by YAHUVEH will not stand in these evil days ahead, evil days for the evil ones. For again I have seen the evil in the churches, and in the ministries where I have watched as satanic plants grew in power, popularity, and taught doctrines of devils. Slyly, the wolves crept in, and played the game of the pretenders, as pastors, apostles, prophets, and teachers, and yes even the evangelists. You can fool the people, but beware you can’t fool YAHUVEH. You use the name of MY Son, YAHUSHUA, and you name ministries after yourself to glorify yourself, but you have kept an evil secret.

That secret is, you haven’t given your sins, hearts, lives, and souls to YAHUSHUA. You instead use occult powers, and use MY Son’s Name to manipulate MY People, to build your towers, and mansions that you call churches. I look at these multi-million dollar mansions you call churches, and I call them mausoleums. MY RUACH ha KODESH is not in them. My true apostles and prophets that warn you are insulted, abused, and chased away. Away with your pretense of worship, I only listen to those that come to me with clean hearts, away from ME with your pretense of praise. The most off key singers that have hearts set to do MY will, and live their lives in holiness, putting all that YAHUSHUA is before their own wants and desires and needs. This is the highest form of praise music in MY ears. Not your choreographed praise dancers. True dancing in the RUACH ha KODESH is not taught, nor choreographed by anyone, but the RUACH ha KODESH. It is not done simply because you want to dance before YAHUVEH and YAHUSHUA; it is your feet being anointed to do so. No one can teach this. I turn away when I see worldliness in the temples and the churches.

True apostles and prophets are not taught to be such by a mere teacher in this world. Even your so called prophetic schools are a mockery. How can you teach what you never were taught by a human? Only the RUACH ha KODESH speaks and flows from MY apostles, and prophets. Those in such schools had better repent and realize man cannot make a prophet, or an apostle, or even the office of an evangelist. It is the anointing of the RUACH that draws the people. It is nothing learned, nor taught. To be a good pastor, the example is the Good Shepherd. Pastors and Evangelists, stop trying to build your mansions here on earth. Stop storing your riches on earth. You tell MY people not to prepare for disasters, yet how many of you are storing up the best of everything? How many of you wealthy pastors have a secret hideaway, and have made your plans not caring about your own congregations? Why do you think I want the money given to you in tithes to build you crystal cathedrals, or to build the biggest church in America or the world? Wouldn’t the money be better spent helping MY People to prepare for disasters? You own your own diamond mines and yet you throw away the true gems, MY beloved children.

In this world you have them fooled, oh evil ones, but your days are numbered in this world. What will you do then? The law firm that is supposed to defend MY People with money sent to them to help defend those called MY children, now you fleece the flocks. Instead you help those that seek to take the privacy away from MY Children. You have sold yourselves to the highest bidder, and his name is satan. I don’t buy MY People, nor their affections, loyalty, or trust. I won’t barter with the evil ones. I will only warn them. Repent in YAHUSHUA’s Name.

You false pastors, evangelists, apostles, prophets and teachers, you sicken I, YAHUVEH. Stop fleecing MY flocks. Children when you see a minister that is a millionaire flaunting their wealth in your face, why do you only give them more, angering ME further? When you see a pastor bragging about his Rolex watch or Mercedes Benz, Rolls Royce, or other luxury car, or showing off his mansion, don’t you yet see a wolf has crept in among you? Listen not to just his or her sermons, instead judge their fruit. Realize that if that were really MY minister, he or she would give more than take. Do you have a church you attend that has people unemployed, on welfare or in lack? Then how can you put that money in the offering plate to feed the wealthy pastor, and to feed the spirit of worldliness, and greed? Do you not think I will hold them as well as you accountable? Wealthy pastors that have lack in their churches while they live in abundance are feeding themselves and starving MY sheep. These evil pastors fleecing MY flocks, taking all they have, and yet mocking their nakedness. Pastors that freely receive should freely give, and yet you will see apostles and prophets selling what I freely gave them through the anointing of the RUACH ha KODESH.

One minister grieves me so, he once was a symbol of YAHUSHUA’s love, and now he drips with diamonds and wears the most expensive tailor made suits, for he owns a men store. Yet what does he give back to those that have no tailor made clothes? Stop telling MY People that YAHUVEH told you to build this 10 million or 7 million dollar building. Bigger is not always better. Who is tending to the Sheep and Lambs when you have hundreds of thousands in your congregations? How can you even pretend to know your congregations with such numbers? Is it not the pastor’s job to know MY sheep? Most can’t even get a phone call to you or even a letter.

Most of MY Sheep and Lambs in the churches where they are fleeing to only see the big beautiful buildings, the pastor be it a man or a woman stands afar off and is unreachable to the masses of the people. Who do they think they are? Did not MY Son, YAHUSHUA, take the time even to feed the masses of people and touch the people, healing, and delivering, praying, and blessing them?

Shame on you pastors with such large numbers of sheep, and lambs; you do not even know the names of the people that support you! If and when you see their faces, or hear their names, you don’t even know them. These people can’t even get your attention for an appointment. The wealthy in the congregation get your attention quickly and anything they need, even a home visit is not too hard for the pastor and evangelist to fit in their schedules. Hypocrites, shame on those who support such ministries and pastors.

Ask yourself, would one of the more well known pastors of mega churches deliver such a word as I am using this apostle to deliver to you? No they would not. Ask yourself, would this apostle of MINE be welcome in your church to deliver MY harsh words of judgment and mandates for repentance? If the answer is No, and you are supporting them with your tithes and offerings then you are in sin. Yes, does that shock you? When you help someone to continue to sin, then you are partakers in that sin. Repent today!

Don’t support a ministry simply because it is named after someone well known in this world or has the biggest or more well known church. What does MY Word say about if all men love you and love the things in the world, does this make you MINE? Does all mankind love and receive YAHUSHUA? No! For when you speak in YAHUVEH’s name, like this apostle is doing, it is not about a popularity contest. MY true apostles and prophets will lose in the world’s eyes; they go in lack many times as satan lies to the people I have raised up to ease the financial, emotional and physical burdens. MY own children shut out MY voice telling them to help, love, and support, the few brave, and bold ones I do have serving ME and MY People.

Are you one of these that hear YAHUVEH’s voice speaking forth and that will love and desire to help and support MY true apostles and prophets; to open your homes to them, and to help ease the burden to reach MY People with the messages from heaven? MY true apostles and prophets pay the price for the anointing and are accustomed to grief, suffering, rejection, and persecution. Do you ever count the cost it takes to deliver such a message as this one? Why should you as long as it is not you that has to pay the cost right? I know who is reading and hearing this, and I shall one day ask you what you did to ease this minister’s burdens. Did you even encourage her? Do you even lift her name up in prayer? Do you realize how few pastors will invite her to minister in their churches after this prophetic message is given? But I, YAHUVEH, speak this forth not this handmaiden. So I have this against you so called pastors that are no pastor at all. It would be better to resign than face YAHUVEH’s wrath for harming MY Sheep and Lambs.

Shame on you pastors; you are not a pastor when MY Children can’t get your counsel without first being a member of the church and passing your tithing tests. One test being: a member is only recognized if they tithe in a certain dollar amount of donations and attend church a certain number of times. Stop fleecing MY flocks! Remember what a pastor is to stand for. Remember you’re not the Good Shepherd. If I have ordained you to be a pastor, then you are to be a blessing to MY sheep. You should be there as the physical part to encourage them with MY words. Love and pray for them, and their deliverance and praying for the salvation of their soul, teaching them to obey MY Torah and MY commandments with you setting the example.

If you don’t have MY anointing then you’re not an apostle, prophet, evangelist, teacher or pastor. I am not impressed with what seminary you graduated from, more appropriately now days it should be called cemetery. The letter killeth and the RUACH ha KODESH giveth life. If the knowledge that you have is your own, and you’re relying on that knowledge to minister, then you’re not ministering in fullness under the gifts of the RUACH ha KODESH.

Away from ME you who are pretenders, you who have crept in among MY sheep, taught them, fleeced them, and yet you are not even MINE. You don’t belong in with the sheep and the lambs. You are a wolf seeking to devour. You have been sent by the roaring lion that is not MY Son YAHUSHUA. YAHUSHUA is the Lion of the Tribe of Judah.

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Offending some, enlightening others for the love, obedience, glory of YAHUVEH and YAHUSHUA, 11/02/01, 1:50 a.m. Prophetic Handmaiden of YAHUVEH and YAHUSHUA. Apostle Elisabeth Sherrie Elijah (Elisheva Eliyahu).

The Encarta World Dictionary defines a clarion call as a call to action: an urgent or inspiring appeal to people to do something. [From the use of the clarion as a signal in war]

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