#and Sauron is being triggered by the appearance of a small child in a very cute dog costume

[verecunda]

If Sauron was hanging about Eregion for about four hundred years, then I'm assuming he didn't spend the whole time cooped up in the smithies, but also had to maintain his Friendly Neighbourhood Emissary of the Valar persona by mingling with the populace, taking part in their social calendar, attending their festivals, feasts, hunts, etc.

As one of the great tales, the Lay of Leithian must be a particularly popular subject for Elvish art, whether in song, poetry, maybe even in theatrical performance, and I find it impossible to believe that Sauron could have avoided hearing or seeing some rendition of it during his time among the Elves. And sure, maybe the bits with Finrod and Gorlim would occasion him a private chuckle, but the rest of it... well, he really doesn't appear to advantage!

Let's just say, if you were in the audience at such a performance - say, oh, the bit where Lúthien and Huan rescue Beren from the Isle of Werewolves - just say you were able to tear your attention from the drama on stage for just a second and happened to look around, you might be somewhat surprised to catch a glimpse of Lord Annatar sitting bolt upright in his seat, wearing a decidedly fixed smile, one hand rubbing unconsciously at his throat...

[estelofthedunedain]

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send me “alt!” and I’ll introduce you to a character I have written before, am writing on another blog, or would like to write someday. (open)

Grace's been with me the longest of all my original characters, changing to fit whatever fandom I was into at the time. She was originally a Pokémon, specifically an Espeon, based on the concept of Shadow Pokémon (as you can see in Colosseum), though the universe she was made for was more like that of the Mystery Dungeon games. She eventually made her way into the human world (fandomless), becoming my imaginary friend and advisor, she was a witch in Harry Potter universe and a rogue Jedi in the Star Wars universe and so on.

In Tolkien verse, she is an elf (I still have to figure out a name for her since neither Grace, her first name, nor Hannah, her chosen name, sound very Elvish...). Born, probably, in the forests of Mirkwood, or somewhere in the far East, I have yet to develop her original home and heritage, but it is mostly irrelevant, for she didn’t get to grow up there.

She was only a young elfling when she was captured by Sauron’s servants. Maybe she wandered away and her family could not protect her, or her home was ravaged? She does not remember. But she was taken to Mordor and subject to Sauron’s torture and experiments, grew up under physical and emotional abuse, until her old personality was all but gone. Sauron, as Morgoth before him, was trying to take elves and turn them into his own servants. He could not entirely replicate the work of his masters, but much damage was done - Grace spent her formative years as a slave of Sauron, beginning to resemble orcs in lifestyle and, to an extent, even appearance, with her skin gaining a greyish tone, her hair growing sparser, her body covered in scars leaving permanent marks, her nails and teeth getting sharper, thinner, and dirtier.

The scariest change was in her personality as she became a formiddable and bloodthirsty warrior, kept in control only by fear of her slave-masters that was instilled into her as a child. She never dared to deny their orders, though she hated them, and she hated the one they answered to.

Until one fateful day.

I don’t know what triggered her then, but she went into a blind frenzy and would attack anyone and everyone in her way. She killed her slave-masters who were caught in surprise and made her escape, running in blind rage, attacking anyone who dared step in her way, but few kills were enough to make the rest steer clear in shock and fear. She stole a horse - and the steed ran with her as if a demon was on its back, and surely that’s what it must have thought of her. She made the horse run at full speed until it could take no more and collapsed of exhaustion, and she jumped off and kept running until she too was at the end of her power.

She woke up alone, not knowing where she was or how she got there, and the realization slowly came upon her: she had escaped, and her slave-masters were gone, and nobody had come after her (perhaps news of her escape had not reached Sauron, or he found her too unimportant to sacrifice more orcs getting her back), and she was free.

The next days (weeks? months?) passed by in a sort of dark haze. She remembers little of this time when she was only half-conscious, doing only what was necessary to survive - hunting, eating, seeking shelter and avoiding danger. Gradually she learned to make her own more complex decisions, but the next turning point in her life was when she stumbled upon a group of elves. This was the first time she saw elves without being ordered to kill them, and realized in surprise she didn’t really want to. Instead she observed them in secret, wondering why these beings felt strangely familiar, and why their lifestyle and language evoked funny images in her mind, images she could not explain. They were indeed memories, memories she didn’t know she still had, of the time before she was taken.

The strange familiarity incited her to linger on, observing the elves and learning to imitate them, and eventually they began to tolerate her presence and let her live among them although she still remained a stranger who didn’t trust them and could not be trusted. This (and the fact she missed the trill of battle  - this clan of elves was pretty small and more likely to run from Sauron’s servants than fight them) eventually led her to splitting off from the clan, never looking back. She started to build her own army in secret, an army meant to fight against Sauron and anyone who serves him. Her army was small and mostly consisted of abandoned or orphaned children she found and took under her wing, so they would mostly sabotage or ambush smaller groups, running away before backup could make it there.

She has an ethic base to hold onto, which she learned mostly from the elf clan she followed, but there is a dark side to her yet, as if part of her was unwilling to forget and let go of her past when she would kill for pleasure. This side of her often surfaces if she’s been overwhelmed by emotions (even positive ones), and as soon as she realized this she started to consciously push down any emotions she felt. It’s a survival tactic, invented not without consideration for others, but it makes her appear cold, distant, and sometimes even threatening, which causes others to distrust her, especially if they don’t know her well.

After the One ring was destroyed she felt a great relief, but also a sort of distress, for two reasons: one, although she later actively fought sauron, she was still brought up as his servant, and a part of her wanted him to win, as much as she hated it; and two, after her escape her entire purpose in life was to fight him, and when he was gone she was lost. Her “army” got disbanded, and she was left wandering Middle Earth alone. Fortunately however, her “evil other self” seemed to be destroyed along with Sauron, so she can try to begin to heal...