#and PROPER screen caps this time

[chahnniesroom]

for richer, for poorer

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: gift giving has always been something you've agonised over. for chan, just having you in his life is enough.

word count: 3.4k

warnings: insecurities (especially related to finances), feeling anxious, hurt/comfort

a/n: i know it’s still a long time until october, but i didn't write it in time to fit as like a holiday related fic.

bonus: minho's reaction to his gift (included as a reblog of this post)

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

Gift giving has always been something that you agonised over. You wanted so desperately to get something meaningful and special that nothing you ended up getting seemed special enough.

So when Felix had proposed throwing both Chan and Minho a party for their birthdays, you were more than happy to help plan. You could see that Chan had hesitated when Felix had told them about it, but he had ultimately agreed when he saw the way Minho had seemed to perk up at the idea.

It wouldn’t be anything too big, Felix promised, just inviting some close friends to have dinner and hang out. It slowly balloons into more than a simple dinner, but the opportunities for the members to have their friends gather are so rare that you swallow your concerns.

The night of, you can’t help feeling a bit nervous. You recognise almost everyone, but that's the part that scares you - you've only seen most of these people through your phone screen before. You know Chan and Minho have a lot of idol friends, but you didn't realise there would be so many at the party. You had discussed the guest list with Felix briefly, but your concern had been about the number of guests and not who they actually were. Now you’re starting to regret it, you aren’t mentally prepared to be face to face with so many celebrities.

The time passes surprisingly quickly with people trickling in as the night goes on. Dinner is casual, you’ve helped to cook a number of dishes and takeout was ordered to fill the rest of the counter. There isn’t enough proper seating so everyone is spread throughout the kitchen and living room.

You spend most of the time just wandering through and making sure that there’s no shortage of drinks, appetizers, and that the empty dishes or cups are cleared away. Of course, you greet everybody as they arrive and thank them for coming, but it’s hard not to be intimidated by all the famous faces.

Eventually Changbin drags the birthday boys to the living room, standing them in front of the TV to open gifts. Everyone else either crams themselves onto the couches, sits on the floor, or loiters closer to the doors.

Chan insists that he open presents at the same time as Minho instead of one at a time like Jisung suggests. Someone pushes a couple of matching boxes into their hands and steps away.

It's almost comical how different they open them. Chan takes his time, carefully pulling apart the ribbon that's wrapped around the box, sliding the lid off and putting it to the side, then slowly peeling aside the tissue paper. Minho on the other hand, manages to pull the ribbon off the box without untying it and flips the box to shake off the lid and reveal the contents.

They're complementary hoodies in the casual and oversized fit that the boys usually go for. You recognize the brand, have seen the members wear it on more than one occasion, and know that they most likely cost the same as your monthly salary.

The next gifts seem fairly innocuous, a beanie for Chan and a baseball cap for Minho, but you know their pieces often go for over a million won, more than you’ve ever spent on a single clothing item.

It continues on like this, the boys receiving items like music equipment, alcohol, and sunglasses. It makes you swallow hard when you think of your own, mostly handmade gift.

Maybe the worst part is that nobody else at the party even blinks an eye at it. You can’t blame them, it’s the nature of their occupation that has gotten them desensitised to being surrounded by luxury and it’s not like they can’t afford to indulge in getting more expensive things.

When you look down, wanting to stop staring at the pile of opened gifts, you see that you've partially crushed the packaging of your own gift. It already looked shabby enough, it was obvious you had wrapped it yourself and the paper you used was from the supermarket, but now it was even worse.

When you try to smooth out the crinkles, your shaky fingers somehow make it ruin it more. You bite your lip, hard, then stop, self conscious about your appearance around all these idols.

It suddenly feels cramped and too warm, sweat starting to gather on your forehead and back. The room starts to spin slightly and you become overly aware of your heart beating in your chest.

A burst of laughter from the crowd spooks you, pulling you out of your head. You use the opportunity to get to your feet and excuse yourself. You slip away as quietly as you can and breathe a sigh of relief when you make it into Chan's room without anyone following you.

You don’t bother to turn on the lights, not wanting anyone to check up on you, and sit on the ground with your back against Chan’s bed. With the door closed, the noise from the party is muffled and it’s significantly colder in this area of the dorm. You press your hands to your face and take a few deep breaths to try and calm your heart rate.

You don’t know what’s wrong with you because you know you shouldn’t feel like his. You had been looking forward to watching Chan and Minho open their gifts, you had spent a lot of time preparing them and you had felt confident that they would enjoy them.

Well, until you saw everything else that they received.

Now your ideas just seemed silly. You feel humiliated at the thought of everybody seeing the obviously cheap gifts and even worse when you consider how ashamed Chan might be for others to know that you were his partner.

Although you were working full-time at the moment, you had only graduated from university last year and your student debt was an ever present weight on your shoulders that you tried your best to hide. Everything you had went to paying it back and checking in bi-weekly to see the number get smaller and smaller was the only thing that made you feel better.

Chan knew that you often worried about money. You had been mortified the first time that he had walked in on you trying to organise your finances for the next few months. He had glanced over your shoulder before you had even realised he was in the room and all the red cells showing where you were in a deficit were hard to miss.

It had been early on in your relationship and the dates that the two of you had been on as well as a couple unforeseen events had meant that you had been spending way more than what you had anticipated. Of course, Chan had treated you on a number of occasions, but you refused sometimes because you felt guilty every time he offered to pay, especially since it had been only a couple years after his debut.

He had been more than understanding, but you had been so embarrassed and caught off guard that you couldn't stop the tears from streaking down your face. Since then, Chan and the members had never done anything to make you feel like they pitied you or thought any less of you for your financial situation, in fact they did the opposite.

When you had first started visiting the dorms, opening the food delivery apps was like a reflex for all of the boys once it was dinnertime. You were always hesitant to choose anything and felt even worse by the nonchalant way that they covered the costs each time. Even though you knew they didn’t think anything of it, you couldn’t help but feel like you were taking advantage of their hospitality.

Somehow they caught on to your reluctance to buy food and now it's tradition that you cook for them when you come over, enough so that they keep the kitchen stocked with more than ramen, chicken breasts, and protein powder.

In particular, Minho absolutely loved your cooking and had needled you many times on sharing how you made it. You had always denied him though, saying that you didn't use exact measurements and came up with things on the fly. That’s why for his gift, you had taken the time to create a recipe book, complete with pictures for each step and modifications that he could make based on the ingredients he had.

You had spent a few months thinking about what to give Chan. He was harder to shop for since you knew he wasn't overly fond of celebrating his birthday and didn’t want you to spend money on him, but was always touched when you got him something. Usually, you tried to do something he was more likely to accept.

Last year, you had organised with the company to give Chan a day off and had taken him out to a movie. It was a pretty standard date, but the two of you rarely had the opportunity to go out together and you knew Chan had resigned himself to watching the movie when it was released online instead of going to the theatres like he had hoped to. Having to spend a few days trying to sort out all the logistics of secretly rearranging Chan’s schedule had been more than worth it with the way that his face had lit up when you had told him about what you had planned.

You don't know how long you sit alone, but every time that you tell yourself to get up and rejoin the party, it feels impossible to move.

“Hey,” Chan's voice is cautious, but you startle anyway, scrambling to stand up. Stuck in your thoughts, you hadn’t even noticed him entering the room. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Just needed some air, it was getting kind of stuffy in there,” you explain. “I didn't think you'd notice.”

“Of course I noticed. You were there one second and gone the next, I didn't know what happened.”

“It’s nothing.” You avoid Chan’s gaze, not wanting to see the concern that shines in his eyes.

Chan steps closer, then reaches out and tangles your fingers together, using your connection to pull the two of you to sit on the bed.

“Y/n, baby,” he says softly. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in here.” He leans forward until the side of his head bumps into yours.

“It’s-”

“Don’t say it’s not important,” he warns. “It’s important to you and that makes it important to me, okay?”

“Uhm,” you pause for a moment, unsure of how you want to word your thoughts. You trust Chan, but it still feels scary being vulnerable. “I guess, I was just feeling… Insecure.”

“Insecure?” Chan tilts his head slightly. “About what?”

“Everyone-” you laugh slightly, embarrassed. “Everyone gave you guys such nice gifts, I feel like mine don’t even compare.”

“Y/n, you know I don’t care about that kind of thing. If I had the choice, nobody would be giving me gifts at all. Just having you in my life is enough.” Chan’s voice is painfully sincere.

“I know you don't mind. It just- It feels bad that I can't give you something nice like they can. It's dumb, I know, but I can't help it.”

“I can open it here, away from everyone else if you want,” Chan offers. “Or you don't even have to give it to me today, you can save it until you feel better. Or don't give it to me at all, it's all okay.”

“No no, I want you to have it,” you say immediately. Before you can think better of it, you reach down and retrieve the gift from where you left it on the floor.

“Whatever makes you feel comfortable,” Chan reassures you.

“This is fine,” you decide. “Just the two of us."

“Okay.”

“It’s not designer,” you say suddenly, fiddling with the ribbon that keeps the two packages together. Both of you ignore the fact that you’re just stalling at this point.

“I don’t need any more clothes, I barely wear everything I own now,” Chan jokes.

“Really, you might not like it,” you warn.

“Baby, when have I ever disliked anything that you’ve gotten for me?” Chan drops the teasing tone. You think for a moment.

“When you asked me to order noodles for you and I accidentally got you the spicy version and it made you cry?”

“Did I say that I didn’t like them?”

“No, you ate it all even though I warned you that it would make your stomach hurt for the next couple of days,” you say, smiling faintly at the memory.

You had gotten yourself the same dish and had found it to be bearable, while Chan’s face had turned bright red after the first bite. You had offered a few times to get him a non-spicy version so that he could enjoy himself, but he had been determined to finish, soaking his shirt and beanie with how much he had sweated. He hadn’t even been able to continue carrying a conversation with you, too busy trying to suck in air to cool his mouth.

It had been even funnier for you the next day, receiving multiple texts from Chan about his stomach hurting and having to continually pause dance practice to go to the bathroom.

“The pain was worth it,” Chan insists. “I'm actually convinced that I'll like anything you give me. Now come on, let me open my gifts!”

You hand over the gift and watch as he pulls away the ribbon to separate the boxes and peels away the tape on the first package. His brow is furrowed in concentration as he tries not to rip the wrapping paper.

This gift was more neutral, a set that contained a wallet and cardholder, both in black. Although Chan hadn’t complained at all, the wallet he had been using was from years ago and the synthetic material was starting to crack and flake away at the edges.

He looks delighted, examining it briefly before pulling out his old wallet and transferring all his cards and cash into this new one. Although it’s not a name brand, you had purchased it at a small shop specialising in handcrafted genuine leather goods at a surprisingly affordable price. It was good quality and suited the simplicity that Chan preferred.

“It's just what I needed,” he says, sounding pleased. “You pay so much attention.”

“I'm glad you like it,” you say, feeling relieved even though you had been pretty sure that he would be happy with it.

The unease comes back when he turns his attention to the second gift. Once again, he puts in effort to gently unwrap it, revealing an old chocolate box that you had repurposed from one of your dates.

You’ve always been on the more sentimental side and had saved it, wanting to remember the evening that Chan had taken you out and the two of you had spent 20 minutes in the shop, meticulously picking out the flavours that you wanted to try. The box is made of a surprisingly durable material and is the perfect size for this gift. You’ve painted over it too, concealing the original design.

Chan turns it around in his hands curiously, before sliding the lid up. You turn away to stare at your hands, overwhelmed by nervousness.

You already know what’s inside. It’s a deck of cards that you’ve transformed, with 52 things I love about you inscribed on one of the jokers. On the flip side, you’ve painted a picture of you and Chan smiling widely with your cheeks pressed together. It’s his favourite, one he always tells you would be permanently on his lock screen if he wasn’t an idol.

The rest of the cards are decorated similarly, a small drawing or painting on one side with the things, people, and places that Chan loves on one side, and something that you love about Chan on the other. The last joker is the only one that's different, you've treated it as a card and have a small message written on.

You had been so excited when you had thought of the idea, even though it was almost embarrassingly cheesy. Chan was often hard on himself, overly critical, and sometimes insecure. You tried your best to reassure him that he was doing well, both in his career and personal life, but you weren’t always able to be with him to do it in person.

As time goes by, your dread just continues to build, but you don't dare look up, not wanting to see Chan's reaction. Based on the silence, he’s clearly not thrilled with the silly idea that you had gone with. You can almost imagine his expression, jaw clenched and lips pressed together as he tries to think of what he can say to let you down easy.

Finally, you can't take it any longer and you lean forward, reaching out to grab at the cards that he's still reading though.

“I'm sorry, it's stupid, I know,” you say quickly. “You can tell me that you hate it, it's okay. I don't know what I was thinking, but just- give me more time, I'll get you something else, something nicer-”

It catches Chan off guard, and instead of successfully taking the cards away, you grapple with them for a second before they slip between both of your hands, scattering across the floor like confetti.

You instantly drop to your knees, scrabbling to scoop them up like the most awful game of 52 pick up that you've ever played in your life. To your horror, the task gets even more difficult as tears start to well up in your eyes.

“Y/n-” Chan says gently, reaching out and taking your wrists in his hands to stop your frantic movements. “Come here.”

You resist for a moment, but he pulls you into his arms, cradling your head so your face is resting on his shoulder. The tears leaking from your eyes soak into the fabric and you sniffle softly.

“I'm sorry,” you say, voice partially muffled. “I'm a mess.”

In response, Chan pulls back slightly and when you don't turn towards him, he taps a finger against your cheek until you face him. Your eyes widen when you notice that he also has tear tracks streaking down his face.

“What-”

“It's okay, I'm a mess too. I should have said it sooner,” he says, voice low and gravelly. Still in his embrace, you can feel the rumble of it in his chest. “I love it. I was overwhelmed, I wanted to say something but you left me speechless.”

“Don't just say it-”

“I've never had a gift so thoughtful, Y/n,” Chan says earnestly. “How could you think this was stupid? You must have spent hours and hours on it and I really appreciate it. It’s just- is this really what you think of me?”

“What do you mean?” you ask.

“Do you really love that-” Chan picks up the closest card to him and flips it so that he can read the message. “That I snore? Y/n, why do you even have this in the list?”

“Yes, snoring was one thing and it's because with everything, there’s always a reason to love it. It's not that I love that you snore, but with your insomnia, hearing you snore is a relief because it means you're sleeping, that you're resting. Even with your insomnia, I know you're busy thinking of every little way you can make things just right for you and the members. It's because you care so much, how could I not love these parts of you?”

“You- you really love all these little things?”

“Of course I do,” you say in a hushed voice. “Of course. When I was making these, I couldn't fit it all. I love everything about you, Chan.”

This time, it's Chan that breaks eye contact, shaking his head as if in disbelief.

“I don't know what I did to deserve you.”

“It's not about deserving. You didn't have to do anything, that's the whole point. I love you just as you are.”

“You know that's how I feel about you, right?”

“Chan-”

“Even if you never got me anything ever again, I wouldn't love you any less. You being in my life, by my side, that's the greatest gift you could ever give.”

till death do us part collection | read it on ao3 | masterlist

[flowermiist]

A warm heart - I

Click here to read the prologue if you haven’t ♡

Pairing: John Price x Fem!Reader

Sypnosis: Some time ago, you started a cooking channel on YouTube as a way to relax, have a proper hobby and teach others your favorite recipes as you improved your own culinary skills too. Fame wasn't something you wanted, you were more than happy with your 50k subscribers... Yet you never thought you'd stumble upon one of them.

Word count: 4.5k

A/N: I would like to start off by saying thank you for all the kind comments, likes and reblogs the prologue has gotten. I was going to make this chaper longer but wanted to leave some intrigue. I’m currently working on the second chapter as I post this. Again, thank you so so much. Don’t forget to like, reblog and comment please. ♡

“Didn’t know you were that much into cooking, cap.” Garrick says, hiding a smirk and almost teasing as he sits across the captain who simply gives him a small cranky huff and his tired eyes stick back to the screen of his phone with the video playing.

Only one of the wired earbuds is connected to his ear as he watches every single detail almost carefully –

“Improving my cooking skills, somethin’ the lot of you should start doing.”

It was by far clear that John wasn’t in the best of moods after a stressing mission, his voice much hoarser and raspier than usual – the scent of the cheap cigar he had gotten from a gas station fills the tent as Mactavish sleeps with arms crossed, his head hanging low and Simon keeps guard – his eyes moving towards the conversation from time to time.

“Been trying to get the hang of it…” He speaks again with a sigh and an attempt not to be too grumpy, trying to remain as composed as he can while wiping off the sweat from his forehead, the lines on his rough skin becoming accentuated as he slightly frowns.

“And how’s it going?” Gaz asks with more curiosity now, looking at his captain and placing his elbows on the wooden table.

“Good, ’s far as I can tell.” Is all John responds, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he tries to sink deeper into the folding wooden chair tapping his cigar against the makeshift ashtray (which was simply an empty can of tuna) as the already weak string of smoke dies away.

You quickly scramble out of the bathroom, uniform already displayed on your bed. Stopping in right front of your vanity and placing a hand against the wall as you lean closer to the mirror to get a better look, trying to be as careful as possible not to mess up your lipstick – the moment you can’t find your shoes, you just get more irritated and the irritation mixing with yesterday’s hangover is not a pretty feeling, especially at this time of day.

You know you no longer have time to find your comfortable shoes the moment you look at the watch on your left wrist so you move towards your closet and take out a pair of nude stiletto heels, not the most convenient or comfortable ones but better than going barefoot to work or using one of your “I’m only here at the club to dance and get laid tonight.” pumps.

The moment you step into your car and try to start the engine, it makes that funny noise you hate but know too well to ignore.

“C’mon… let’s not embarrass ourselves, will you stop acting up before a neighbor notices and calls me broke?” You mumble to your own car like a crazy woman as the engine struggles to start.

Three days, three whole damned days since the engine of your car has been struggling to start and has started getting on your nerves – you tried to contact Harrison, your mechanic and the asshole has been completely ignoring your calls, he not only overpriced every little thing he did to your car but also thought you were some sort of stupid woman who didn’t know anything about your own car.

Sure, you could just drive to his garage and tell him the problem right away, but you were loaded with work these days and this man’s policy was to book in through a phone call to get your call fixed – otherwise, he refused to fix anything. And knowing him, there was no way he’d pick up any of your calls anytime soon.

A sigh of relief escapes your lips the moment your car decides to cooperate and the engine starts. “Good girl...” You whisper through your teeth with a smile, moving your finger towards the screen of the radio to start it.

“Well damn! Doesn’t someone look sexy as hell this morning?” Zaila says as she looks at you up and down from her desk – obviously noticing the shoes you chose this morning, you smile at her as you walk towards the reception.

“Well, to your information, I was actually thinking about bringing the leopard print ones you love so much…” You speak with a playful tone while you put your purse on top of her counter.

You give her a sly smirk, checking in with the fingerprint scan she places in front of you.

“I know I’m late… I’m hungover and my car is acting up again and that asshole won’t-” before you can even finish, Zaila moves her hand up to stop you, her various bracelets jingle on her wrist when she does this, stopping you from opening your mouth to explain any further.

You sigh as you already know what she’s about to say.

“Don’t think about it, alright? I was late too – stayed up fighting with that annoying witch living next door. Barely got any rest.”

Zaila says and you smile.

“Somethin’ to laugh about?” She asks, raising an eyebrow and giving you her best warning look.

“No ma’am.” You say with a thankful smile, getting a hold of your purse again before lightly squeezing Zaila’s soft hand and walking away towards your consulting room.

You check your phone while the computer on the desk turns on, you check your channel and smile to yourself while reading some of the comments from your lasagna recipe.

You definitely worked hard for that video and your subscribers seemed to really like it – you were aware that the ages of your views were something quite varied. From teenagers learning how to cook for themselves to middle aged adults improving in the kitchen.

Looking back at the computer in front of you, you put your phone down and begin organizing and checking some files from your patients.

Coming here with Zaila for lunch break was a good idea as always. Both of you laugh, gossip and enjoy lunch break while you sit at the small fancy restaurant that’s right across the street from the clinic.

Zaila went to the bathroom as the two of you waited for the food you ordered to arrive, leaving you alone at the table. You looked through your purse to grab your small mirror when your phone started buzzing from the call you were now receiving.

You grab it and look at the screen, reading the name of the contact, “Harrison - Mechanic.” – you huff and roll your eyes as you answer the call from the asshole that had been ignoring you for the past three days.

“Am I speaking to my favorite client?” The mechanic says, his tone sounding almost cheerful, you’ve known this man for some time now and you know him well enough to know he’s probably drunk.

“So you ignore your favorite client’s calls for three days straight now?” You reply to him. It sounds too rude, you know that but this man is an asshole too and him ignoring you was three times worse than your words.

“Oh c’mon… I’ve just been… uh…” – you wait in silence and look at your nails, already wondering what excuse he’s going to give you.

“–that doesn’t matter now since I’m talking to you, aye? What seems to be the problem with your lady?”

“What makes you think I’ll go back to your garage?” You speak, almost irritated, then catch a glimpse of Zaila from the corner of your eye while she talks to one of the waiters on her way back to the table.

“I’ll give you a discount, how ’bout that, doc? No need to make this call any longer, just, eh, come over and I’ll check on her.” Harrison speaks and you swear you can almost see that annoying smile of his as he speaks.

“You sure you won’t “forget” about your promise when I get there?” You speak, your tone almost sarcastic.

“Would I ever lie to my favorite client?” – Yeah he definitely would, but your car needs a mechanic now and as big of an asshole Harrison can be, you have to admit he’s good at his work when he wants to be.

“Alright, I’ll try to be there after work.” You finally say, ending the call to look at Zaila who is now sitting back on her chair.

John walks through the cereal aisle, gripping the steel handle as the wheels roll. He wasn’t in such a bad mood now that he left base, with the leave he got, he actually felt more relaxed.

The man would not deny he was more used to walking through the halls of a military base than walking through the long aisles of a supermarket – maybe he’d go for a few drinks after this, not wanting to spend his time isolated at home for too long. John clears his throat and rubs forehead and eyes with his fingertips, pinching the bridge of his nose.

He has the essentials in his cart, some milk, vegetables, juice, meat, rice and the three-in-one shampoo he has grown used to.

As John moves his cart towards the register, he glances at two adults and a child – the boy no older than five years and throwing quite the show as he cries and squirms on the floor while he grips a box with children’s toys. He looks at the adults that seem to be his parents, a man and a woman with worried and irritated look on their faces as they try to calm him down.

Was this the reason he never looked forward to starting a family, ugly temper tantrums? No, that would only be another excuse – Maybe the demands of his job? It would be too selfish to leave a woman whom he’d call his wife by herself taking care of a kid while he was in the middle of god-knows-where.

Had he given up the idea of starting a family of his own? Because it surely seemed late for him to try.

Did he want that life? Was he getting tired of going home to an empty house? He didn’t really know if he could call his house a home, it didn’t exactly feel like the concept of a warm family waiting for him, some kids, a wife and a dog – but at least, no children or a wife would be missing him and suffering while waiting for him to get home. To get back home from a job that has his life on the line between life and death, between doing terrible things to accomplish a greater purpose and getting his hands dirtier than ever.

His bubble of thoughts are popped with a sharp pin as the cashier looks at him and speaks, clearing her throat and almost giving him a dirty look for staying so still while glancing at the family – “Sir, you’re next.” The woman speaks as he looks at her.

“Right, sorry.” The rugged man says as he starts moving the things of his cart to the register.

You didn’t drive to Harrison’s right away after work, you stopped at home and took a shower, changing your clothes and then stopping at the grocery store – It was supposed to be a quick trip but you almost throw your bags on the floor of the store’s parking lot as you notice your rear left tire almost entirely flat.

“Fuck…” you mumble as you approach it, your breath hitches and you try to remain as calm as possible, lowering the grocerie bags on the floor, not caring about them getting dirty anymore.

You approach the tire and give it two small kicks to check how soft it was, it would be impossible to drive to your mechanic with a tire like this.

You knew how to change a tire, sure – your father had shown you a long time ago after a nail punctured one of the rear wheels of his truck. But that was too long ago for you to remember step by step and you knew the mechanic would not pick up if you called him to come here and help you. Even if he did, the man would overcharge you as always and you were not about to tolerate that, not after he promised you a discount to fix what was wrong with the engine.

Opening the trunk of your car, you search for a way to lift the liner carpet knowing the tire tools might be underneath it – You grunt as you lift the heavy box and see the spare tire underneath it. Right as you struggle to lift it a voice interrupts you.

“Need any help with that?” You turn around towards the husky unknown voice you just heard just to see a man standing there with his own grocery bags.

The silence is almost palpable as you look at him.

“Changing a tyre by yourself can be hard.” He says again, you huff after hearing his words –

“Are you suggesting I can’t do it by myself?”

you blurt out, immediately biting your tongue as you realize how rude and bitchy that must have sounded, but before you can even correct yourself the man speaks.

“Wasn’t making any suggestions, miss, just trying to lend a helping hand.” The man doesn’t seem phased in the slightest by the tone you used. He speaks with such eloquence and calmness that you are surprised he didn’t get offended and leave right after you spoke.

“Sorry, I- That was really rude of me.” You say, almost blushing from the embarrassment you just put yourself through with your own words, you didn’t mean to take your frustration out on a man offering his help.

“All is forgiven, miss.” He takes one step closer and looks at the trunk of the car where the spare tire is. What you didn’t know is that he recognized you the moment he heard your voice and saw your face, it had to be you – the girl from the cooking videos he has been watching for the last whole month; yet he was not about to comment on it because if for some reason it actually wasn’t you then it would make things too awkward, he thought.

“May I?” You immediately nod and stop staring.

“Yes- But… I wouldn’t want to bother you though.” He shakes his head and lowers his grocerie bags onto the floor.

“Not a bother at all, miss. I was just heading home. Shouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes to change it.” You clear your throat and nod as the man speaks, the embarrassment going away.

“You sure?”

“Quite sure.”

You step aside as he lifts the spare tire with such ease only using one of his arms and using his other hand as he grabs he handle of your car’s toolbox with the other hand.

The man moves to kneel down right in front of the tire and you take a moment to inspect him. By the accent, he is clearly from here. Icy blue eyes and a masculine rugged look, not to the point he’s too intimidating but nearly there. The navy blue t-shirt he wears looks a bit tight on him, he seems older than you by a few years not too many though – you can clearly tell that by the few lines on his forehead and the few grey hairs on his dark brown beard. Last time you saw someone wearing such interesting mutton chops beard with that moustache was during a disney movie.

You try not to stare when the muscles on his arms flex the moment he grips the wheel brace as he loosens the wheel bolts by twisting them.

“You’ve got experience, I reckon.” You say as he carefully aligns the scissor jack under the jacking point of your car, he looks at you and nods with a very small smile.

“Not to brag, miss. Done this many times.” His voice rumbling on his chest, the two of you make some eye contact for a single second and he breaks it by moving the wheel brace to the jack. – “Had any trouble with your car ’fore?” He asks as the tool begins to lift up the car slowly when he twists it.

“I was about to drive to my mechanic’s after he spent three days ignoring my calls, some engine problems.” The man listens to you carefully.

“I believe three day’s enough to know your mechanic might be too irresponsable – Not to intrude with my comments though.” He moves to take out the old tire.

You sigh and nod “He’s an asshole, I know.” Your chuckle makes him sigh and give you a small chuckle of his own as he places the wheel down, shaking his head slowly.

He still can’t believe he’s seeing you in person – Well, that might sound weird but the man has seen too many of your cooking videos to deny it’s you.

“Mind giving me a small class?” You ask, taking a step closer – how ironic, he’s been the one watching your cooking recipes and learning from them and now he’s the one teaching you?

He nods.

“Wanna try?” He suggests and you oblige by grabbing the tool. “This is the lug wrench, right?” You ask and he nods again.

“We call them wheel braces ’ere but yes – It is.” He moves to grab the replacement tire and aligns the holes of the bolt with the lugs and begins to tighten them.

“These are the wheel bolts, you twist ’em with your hands as much as you can ’fore you lower the car with your jack and tighten them again usin’ the brace.” The way he explains it to you almost makes you blush as you are leaning forward and looking at the tire like a child at the aquarium.

You glance at his arms as he lowers the car using the jack again, making that twisting movement that makes the muscles on his arms even bigger, and the veins on his rough hands more noticeable.

The english man tightens the bolts before fully removing the jack from under your car, he lets out a quiet, deep grunt when he gets up again. You help him by grabbing some of the tools as he grabs the old wheel that was apparently pricked by a rusty nail.

“Good as new now, eh?” He says and you realize your mistake after be places the old tire in the trunk of your car. –“I’m so sorry- uh, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Y/N.” That clicks in John’s head, it really was you and he was almost amused to say the least.

“No need to be sorry. ’m John, John Price.”

You shake his hand, not caring in the slightest about the dust on his hand from manipulating all those tools and both tires – his hand feels rough, calloused as if he’s too used to doing these type of things often, the heavy work.

“Forgive me if this sounds strange but ’m pretty sure I’ve watched your videos a few times. Cooking, right?” John says after your hands separate.

You are immediately surprised, almost in awe and he can tell by the look on your face. You try to keep your jaw as tight as you humanly can – almost as if it would comically fall to the floor is you dared to open it.

“Yeah, that’s… me, yes.” You smile at him widely. “You’ve really watched my videos?” You ask, amused, all your worries go away as his words make your whole week, it’s the first time something like this has happened to you.

“Could say ’m a bit of a fan, actually.” He gives you a smile of his own before he continues talking and looking into your eyes, deeply.

“Wanted to start improving my skills and happened to watch one of your videos, the food I prepared turned out surprisingly well – subscribed ’bout a month ago and… been watching ’em ever since.” That raspy and collected tone of his almost soothes your nerves.

“I’m shocked- I’ve never met any of my subscribers…” You admit with a smile full of excitement.

“Well, ’sppose there’s always a first time, innit?” – there is a comfortable silence after you nod but is broken by John looking back at your car.

“You mentioned there was a problem with the engine, that right?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Mhm, it stops sometimes and it can be tricky to start it.” You speak with a sheepish smile and the man crosses his arms as he stands in front of you.

“Want me to take a look?” Honestly? You’d like to talk to him more but you have to get to Harrison’s befoee he closes and you don’t want to keep John here forever, as happy as you are right now. His grocerie bags are on the floor with yours, completely forgotten and you wouldn’t want him to waste his time.

“Don’t worry, I was on my way to the mechanic anyway. Wouldn’t want to keel you here forever.”

“You sure?” John looks at your car then back at you – you give him a nod and he sighs.

“Well… If the engine’s been playin’ games with ya and stops on your way there. Let me know, I mean-” He scrounches up his face in annoyance when the excuse of giving you his number gets too obvious but the sound of the giggle that escapes your lips makes it go away.

“Could use your number for that.” You say quicker than you expected and he immediately smiles, clicking his tongue and taking out his phone from the pocket of his jeans.

“Right.” John says with that deep husky tone rumbling on his chest and a small smile on his face, almost a shy one.

After getting his number, you glance at his brown boots as he lifts up his bags and gives you a small goodbye nod, you wave your hand at him and smile almost stupidly.

“It was nice meetin’ you, Y/N.” John says and you nod too.

“It was nice meeting you too, John.”

As he makes his way to his own truck, you lift up your long forgotten bags and put them in the backseat of your car before you start the engine and sigh in relief since it didn’t give you any trouble this time.

“Well that was hot…” You mumble with a smile as you reverse the car.

Taglist: @bumblebeesfromvenus @thesevi0lentdelights @zekes-beard (Let me know in the comments if you’d like to be added! ♡)

[bugs1nmybrain]

Bipolar!Tomura x Reader

Warning: Bipolar Disorder (implied to be type 1), gender-neutral reader, angst, fluff, Shigaraki is mean to the reader, psychotic symptoms, substance use (weed and alcohol), short

note: Shigaraki refers to himself as "being bipolar." I'm aware this is pejorative language, but it made sense for the context of Shigaraki's condition in this story. I also have Bipolar Disorder for reference.

The TV was barely audible over the obnoxiously loud video game music and sound effects coming from Tomura's bedroom. It wasn't like he was ever quiet, but this loud? The neighbors might mistake you two for having a break-in. It definitely didn't help when Tomura would cuss out his screen.

"are you fucking KIDDING ME?! You SCUMBAG CHEAT FUCK!!"

You weren't unused to him talking shit to people on voicechat. It's just he was particularly erratic at the moment. You wanted to check in on him but you weren't sure if that was appropriate. The stabbing decibels would surely blast you away.

Suddenly, all the sounds stop, only leaving the sound of your ears faintly ringing from the absence. It was soon that you smelt..*sniff* .. pot. You hoped he had a fan going and you also wished he'd share. Tomura was already on it though. He opened the door to his room and zipped into the kitchen. With his joint still burning in his hand, he reached up into the cupboard to grab a glass and then a bottle of whiskey. Damn, maybe he should ask for some help?

You watched as he attempted to open the bottle, with his joint in his left hand. His quirk certainly was to be taken accounted for, and he knew it too, because he got too impatient and dusted away the cap, only for the disintegration to fall into the bottle.

"fuck," he said abruptly, but just decided to pour the alcohol in his glass, dust particles included.

"Tomu?" you questioned, watching him try to multitask putting the shit back while smoking his joint.

"Yea, I know, I'll share. Just hang'on."

"Can I help you?"

"Uh.." he spent a moment pondering as if it was a weighted decision. "Here, hold my joint."

You walked over to him and took it from his hands. You contemplated if you really wanted to smoke now, given his state. You knew early on that Tomura had a condition and this wasn't the first time you'd seen him manic. The fact that he wasn't on medication also meant that his episodes could get carried away, and he'd scare you. Not because he was scary...or maybe he was, but you knew it was because he had tripped into a heavy episode.

Tomura turned back to face you when he was done, noticing the joint burn down.

"Why aren't you smoking?" He asks. His tone was normal, though a little jumpy.

"I don't really wanna."

"Why? I don't like smoking by myself. Makes me feel like shit."

"You seem restless."

"Mm, how'd you guess?" He said with a blissfully agitated staring at you.

"Like..you're fast."

"I'm so speedy fast wanna watch me?"

"When's the last time you slept?"

Shigaraki paused and tried to sort through his recent memories but he was unsure. "Uh, maybe..five? Five days ago? I've probably had a nap or two though."

"Maybe we should calm down. Do you wanna watch a movie?"

"Why're you talking to me like a kid?"

"I'm not, I'm worr-"

"Yea I know that, I can tell it's all over your fucking face. Listen, I'm well aware I'm batshit crazy right now but I'm NOT some tragedy, alright?"

"I didn't mean it that way," you stood shaking, trying to fight back your eyes watering.

Tomura sighed seeing you standing scared in front of him. He'd been trying to be fine for weeks. Tomura was never "fine," but when he was paranoid, hyper, determined, and careless beyond proper function, it was a major hindrance. Impacted his goals, though he was great at brainstorming when he was manic.

"You meant it. I'm not even like, mad. I don't know why this happens though, you've seen it before, right?"

"I have. Tomura, can I say something without you getting pissed?"

"What?"

"I think you have Bipolar Disorder."

"Oh really? Turn in your psychiatric report because I'm sure I'm many other things too!"

Tomura huffs and plops down on the living room couch. His adoptive father never gave him access to anything like mental health treatment. AFO told Tomura himself that issues of this matter where only problems that could help his passion for destruction. But Tomura would even admit, being manic beyond belief was scary. He heard voices, saw things that weren't there, sometimes his family, and it was a total living nightmare.

You snuck up behind the couch and began playing with his hair gently. He let out a "hm?", confused considering he just raised his voice at you.

"I just say it because I notice patterns. Like you'll be motivated and nonstop for weeks and then super depressive and bummed out. And it repeats over and over. Usually within the same time frames, too. I'm not trying to insult you, but it might explain things, right?"

You ran your fingers through his scalp. It was definitely a while since his last shower, too. His hair was greasy and dry, but you kept touching him. You could feel him relax into your fingers and whine.

"Sounds like bullshit. I'm not taking any pills."

"I'm not telling you to."

"Well, are you leaving or something? Gonna punish me for being Bipolar?

"No. I want to help you."

"Ain't you some fucking hero."

"I mean it. I can tell you're overwhelmed and just need some sleep or something. I'm not mad Tomura, I never was, I just want you to be ok."

His shoulders began to tense and shake a little. He may have been tearing up but you didn't look and he sat silent.

"Can we order pizza and play Mario Kart, instead? I don't wanna just sit. I'm too awake."

"Yes, baby. I can make a pillow fort!"

"Fuck yessss. Um. I'm also really sorry for yelling at you that wasn't cool."

"I understand Tomu."

You ruffled his hair and kissed his head quick before bolting off to grab your phone but he pulled you down to his lap before you could escape! mwah-ha-ha!

"Stay here for a bit."

"You're trapping me!!" You protested.

"You want me to settle down? Then stay."

Tomura rested his head against yours and held you like you were a stuffed animal. Soon, you could feel his body relax and heard snoring. You turned to see Tomura finally sleeping, but decided to sit still and drift off with for the rest of the night.

[blueysobssesions]

His last moments with you

Angst, Character death

Hobie Brown, Pavitr Prabhakar, Miguel O' Hara, Miles Morales, Peter B Parker, Gwen Stacy

Hobie Brown

His last moment with you, was him pulling you from the backstage, taking you to the stage while the band played their instruments. Kissing you right there, with his fans watching the two of you. You can hear the lousy screams from the crowd as he held you close, pulling away. "H-hobie..." "Shh, jus' look at me, luv" You locked eyes with Hobie, his forehead touching yours saying "I love ya'"Seems like most of the crowd heard what he said, they were screaming. You were flustered, wanting to go back to the backstage but, he placed a kiss on your cheek before letting you go.

The concert wasn't the same when Hobie took a break... over a month when the 'event' happened.

Pavitr Prabhakar

His last moments with you were after the graduation of the both of you, you two were excited at that moment. 3...2...1! the countdown finished, then everybody started to toss their caps in the air, celebrating the completion of the journey. As the caps fell back down, you locked eyes with Pavitr, leaning into a kiss. The world seemed to fade away in that moment, and all you could feel was the warmth of his lips against yours. Everyone looked at the both of you in awe, one of your bestfriend didn't hesitate to take a picture. "Everyone's looking at us" "Do you think that I care?" he said before pecking your lips.

It was a bittersweet goodbye, this would be the last time you would be together.

Miguel O' Hara

His last moment with you was, at the bedroom, cuddled up together. It was his first proper sleep. You watched as him peacefully drifted off, his breathing steady and his face relaxed. Your fingers slowly stroking his soft hair, while your other hand held his hand. You were happt to finally see him sleep properly, with how much he's focused and stressed... he couldn't sleep. As a wife of his, you need to take care of him and ensure he gets the rest he deserves. 

But now, he's taking care of himself... the word 'sleep' now was nothing to him.

Miles Morales

His last moments with you was having a dinner with you and his parents. Rio already liked you when you started to teach Miles spanish, and you helping jeff solve some crimes here and there. Miles couldn't help but smile at this. Rio was the one who made you come over and have dinner, and of course you agreed. He couldn't help but be flustered when you talked about him to them. "He did great at spanish class" you smiled, before eating your food. "Oh, really? Well, that's indeed great! What did he get?" "I think miles should answer that" you giggled. They turned their head towards them, which miles flinched. "u-uh, yeah... I got an A plus" he said nervously. Rio gasped, impressed "Wow, really! That's great!" "Good job, miles" they said. "Well, Y/n helped me with it. You guys should thank Y/n too" Miles smiled at you, how can he be lucky? You smiled back and blushed a little bit.

And now here... Rio and Jeff comforting their son... holding his phone, the picture of the both of you showing in the screen.

Peter B. Parker

His last moments with you is the both of you danicing in the living room while music plays in the backround. You began to move to the beat, leading him in a slow dance. As the both of you moved together, you both found lost in the moment, forgetting the world outside your own four walls. It was just the two of you, surrounded by love and music. The song ended and you both stood still for a moment before breaking apart and looking at each other with a smile on your face. "I love you," he said as he pulled you into his arms. "I love you too," you replied as he kissed your forehead.

It was the first and last dance for him

Gwen Stacy

Her last moments with you is hanging out with the others for the first time. Going on a picnic with Hobie, Pavitr, You, Gwen, Miles, Peni and Peter with mayday. As the sun set on that memorable day, laughter filled the air as you all bonded. It was a beautiful moment for everyone, the two of you watching the sunset while the others chatter. Your head on her shoulder as you both shared a comfortable silence. 

Knowing that it would be your last moments with all of them.

[jmdbjk]

All things Walmart, poo, ticks and inspiration...

Spoiler alert but to hell with it, I know y'all have watched it all already.

Things I cannot relate to and will never happen to me:

• Pushing my cart down the snack aisle at Walmart and running into Jungkook searching for Tostitos and a sponge.

• Going out to the mailbox to gather the day's junk mail and two guys on a Harley drive by and wave at me and me not know it was Jimin and Jungkook.

• Hiking through the forest and not realizing that guy way up ahead swatting at mosquitoes is Jimin.

• Enjoying my lobster mac & cheese at a restaurant and not know Jungkook is discreetly (not so discreetly) staring at my food trying to decide if he wants to order what I'm having.

I didn't have time today to spend on this like I wanted to and I feel like everyone has already talked about the finer points they're most interested in so I'm going to just drop a few things that made ME laugh, smile and cherish the fact they even started this thing, this show. Episode 3 will be here tomorrow night (for me) so I don't want to delay this anymore so I'll be brief for Ep. 2.

Saturday, July 15:

They left the campsite and Jungkook got to ride the motorcycle. Jimin said he looked like a proper American.

They stopped at a park and hiked a trail. Jimin fought mosquitoes. It was brutal. I've seen people worried about ticks. And snakes. Jimin pointed out a spider on a tree. Jungkook fantasized about alligators. Tick inspections occurred all around later on I hope.

We didn't see the transition from woods to marina. Maybe they had to make a bathroom stop for Jimin. Or urgent care to get him some meds. Who knows. Poor thing was suffering.

On the yacht, Jimin was still feeling puny but he tried. He ate though he knew he was risking it all.

He horsed around with Jungkook with the beast still rolling around in his guts.

I really wasn't expecting so much poop talk during Are You Sure but here we are.

I think this summed up the yacht trip. Especially after how it all started with the excursion being leaked by the boat captain himself. Perhaps the editors did this on purpose.

FYI those concentric ripples in the images are my camera trying to capture the screen in a different frequency than the monitor refreshes or some tech mumbo jumbo. Apologies and please ignore. It's Disney's fault for not letting us screen cap using an app.

I think Jungkook was looking for ticks. He would take something like that seriously, don't you think?

But Jimin mostly slept on the yacht. He had a rough night before. They still salvaged what they could and they still seemed to enjoy the experience.

A trip to Walmart. On the way they have one of those rambling conversations where Jungkook, who is not the most talkative type, decides to talk Jimin's ear off. They talked about making music and what drives them personally in their choices about their work.

We'll visit that thought again in a minute....

The whole Walmart visit is surreal to me. I go to Walmart at least once a week so to see Jimin and Jungkook browsing the aisles just blows my mind. NEVER did I EVER dream I'd see them looking for bacon at WALMART.

They look just like anyone else pushing their shopping cart going down the cereal aisle past the boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Sugar Pops.

Jimin was a tad testy when JK disappeared. He even cussed him out. HAHAHAHAHAAA. BEEN THERE DONE THAT!!!

I know Jimin-ssi, why are men like that? I swear to god...

I saw someone say this sums up their dynamic perfectly: Jimin calculating in his mind how to work the self-check out while Jungkook does the helicopter cam above him.

You gotta give it to Walmart though, they do know their customer. The self check out is pretty self-explanatory.

The content of their cart:

TWO boxes of Twinkies???? And both Prego AND Ragu...

Getting to the AirBnb accommodations. Cooking. Chilling out before bedtime and Jimin lets Jungkook hear Who.

Horsing around in bed. You know, all these years, I've wondered how they keep the toothpaste spit inside their mouths while brushing their teeth? We've seen them brushing their teeth backstage, in the bathroom, walking around the green room, outside practicing choreo... HOW DO THEY NOT DROOL ALL OVER THEIR CUSTOM MADE OUTFITS? And now wrestling on the bed...

Waking up, JK and his frosted flakes. Jokes about abandoning Jimin...more horsing around on the bed. And then they doze off again. I know they did. Hard to tell but Jungkook is glued to Jimin's back.

Jimin gets to ride on the back of the Harley with JK. It starts to rain. I guess they were bringing it back to the rental place.

Going back to the store for a sponge.

I think Jimin was feeling much better. Looked like he slept better.

We see the Army who said they met Jimin and Jungkook last year. When I first heard about it I thought how lucky and random and what kind of stars need to align for that to happen??? What a great experience!!! When will it be our turn???

And then the next idea for Run BTS (the show)... hide and seek while shopping for specific ingredients to cook with and the twist is they're in a foreign country. WORLD TOUR RUN BTS!!! BIGHIT I HAVE IDEAS!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!

Its raining, dancing in the rain as they exit the store. They leave in the Jeep and head back to the house to eat their pizza.

Army in Connecticut won in life.

Then they start their journey back to NYC (I'm assuming) so Jungkook can go on to London and Jimin can head back to Korea. They stop one more time for lobster rolls and lobster mac & cheese.

That's when we see Jungkook contradict himself...

In the Jeep just a little while ago you said nothing inspired you. Was it the rain or the beer that was inspiring you? Or was it the head full of new memories and ideas about the next trip that were swirling around in there?

By the end of this trip, they are back in sync.

Their closing interview: JK wants to keep doing this until they're 50, 12 more seasons! JK said "practice being better variety show entertainers so the two of us can continue doing this" as motivation to continue doing this type of thing way into the future. Jimin found humor in that. And that's where we fade to black.

And during the credits, Jimin is eating again, spicy ramen, possibly the next day. Apparently his stomach is back in order as he readies to fly back home.

What a trip.

Deeper thoughts:

Jimin and Jungkook wanted to spend time together. We knew that. It didn't seem to happen when it could have. They even said so in the Jeep. But JK concluded the discussion succinctly:

Finally.

Finally they were spending quality time together. Though their talk was brief, we have no idea if there was more to it before or after what we saw of it. The editors showed us that much enough to explain the situation and why it had not happened. The end result of it all was: finally.

Finally, after wanting this. Finally, after saying we would. Finally... doing something together that we loved doing before and we've wanted to do again. Finally.

Jimin pushed for it. He knew. He made it happen. Finally.

They are two distinct personalities and their journeys through this solo era leading up to their enlistment were different.

Jimin is a leader and doer. He is the initiator. Jimin said if he hadn't pushed for this show to happen it would not have gotten done.

There were a few moments in these first two episodes where Jimin brought up MS. Jungkook didn't seem thrilled to talk about it.

They truly didn't know what they were going to film for this show. They got in the car and started to make it up as they went. I can see how that would be awkward.

They don't understand that just them being themselves is what we want to see. They don't have to try to make something happen. Its the spontaneous moments that make the best content (see kayak dump and Walmart trip). Maybe Jimin was more in tune with this than Jungkook was but he is the one who turns on a live and sits there and watches Netflix while eating chicken. They had to get back in sync and they did.

So the first episode was a little slow, a little cautious, a little quiet. Reserved. That first day they were finding their groove, getting 're-acquainted' if you will, finding the slots and spaces in each other that fit and feel the most comfortable to them. You could see them relax as the day wore on.

But, they still had challenges. JK's head cold. Jimin's stomach bug. You want some TMI's? Watch Jimin run to the bathroom for the fifth time.

We may see a little bit of this quiet re-acquainting when BTS does its first group live next year. And yes, I am 100% confident we will see this first live shortly after Jimin and Jungkook are discharged. We will see them in a way we've never seen before.

After both episodes... my conclusion is we saw about 2 hours out of the roughly 3 or three and a half days Jimin and Jungkook were together. Thursday evening, July 13 through Sunday evening, July 16. I'm not exactly sure when JK left for London but Jimin went back to Korea on July 17.

I wonder if the plan was to create hour long episodes or if there was so much they wanted to show the episodes just ended up being that long. They could have easily hidden Jimin's stomach issues from us. They could have edited a lot of it down. But in making the episodes this long, they showed more and more of their dynamic in play.

I didn't put everything into this post that I wanted to but we've got six more episodes coming and I still haven't had time to watch Run Jin.

Hashtags arent working... I'll add them later.

[pekoehoneyncream]

Ghoaptober # 6

Prompt: Meal/Food

Words: 1000~

TW: None (sfw)

This version of Ghoaptober was created by @spadesandshovels

I gave you short and sad yesterday, but today you get short and sweet!

I don't know if y'all have seen that video of the soldiers getting yelled at for ordering pizza delivered to their camp, or that post about the lady that grew up way out in the country and only got ice-cream from a truck when it got very very lost. but this entry is inspired by both of those.

Enjoy!

Soap was slumped into the couch in the officer’s recreation room, watching Gaz swear at the telly as he ran his horse into the train for the umpteenth time and had to restart the mission again. Between Gaz fervently damning all of John Marston’s ancestors and the secondhand xbox 360 doing its best impression of an overboiling pot, the sounds of a escalating commotion beyond the door was almost completely negligible, and Soap was willing to play deaf to the few shouts that eked their way in. 

What he couldn’t ignore was Price busting in through the door muttering about idiotic fools. Now Price muttering to himself was perfectly normal, par for the course, nothing to take note of, what was decidedly abnormal was the Fab ice lolly that was dripping over his fingers. 

“Cap?” Soap’s vaguely disturbed truncated question stole Gaz’s attention away from shooting the train goers and, upon turning around, he too was immediately captivated by the incongruent sight of Captain John Price glaring at them while struggling to contain a rapidly liquifying lolly. 

“While on gate duty, Private Johnson dared Private Gilligan to stop an ice-cream van that was going by and the fucker actually did it. The front’s a madhouse.” Price reluctantly gruffed out to the two goggle eyed Sergeants staring him down. 

In the next moment Price was alone in the room with a screen heralding 'DEAD' in bold red letters. 

Gaz and Soap shoved at each other as they raced through the halls to the front of the base, joining a crush of other like minded soldiers. True to Price’s word the front gates were pure mayhem, save for the strangely orderly queue leading up to the Mr Softee van proper. Every soul with any kind of rank was abusing it to their best advantage to force every other unlucky sod to stand down and move back in the queue. Soap and Gaz were in luck as talking to the older lady leaning out of the van’s window was Warrant Officer Evans. The Sergeants sidled up to the queue, following their fellow’s leads in staring down Corporal Winslow until she obediently let them cut in front of her. Evans walked away from the van with a cherry screwball and the Sergeants stepped up to the window.

“I’ve only one cone left, lads,” The woman running the van warned them, leaning down and speaking up to be heard over the orderly chaos behind them and the tinny repeating jingling blaring from the top of the van, Gaz shot a possessive look at Soap and the Scot waved him on.

“Could I get a ninety-nine flake, please?”  Gaz got a smile for his nice manners and the woman turned to Soap,

“And for you, Lovie?” Her voice was kindly, but blunt with a no-nonsense manner,

“Ah’ll ha’e an oyster delight, an’ a strawberry swirl wi’ caramel sauce in a doubled cup w’ an extra spoon, please.” Soap answered, feeling like he now knew why the van’s queue was so orderly. Likely the woman, Florence, her name tag read, had just refused to serve anyone that hadn’t politely queued up. 

“Lovely,” Florence bustled about in the van, handing the treats out the window as she finished them, “That’ll be nine pound fifty,”

Before Soap could think through how best to juggle his ice-creams into one hand to dig his wallet out of his pockets, Gaz had already paid and casually walked away, licking at his cone and casting smug looks back at Soap as he scrambled to catch up. 

“Ye didnae ha’e tae pay, Ky,” Soap complained, “Ah’ve mah own money,”

“Then be faster, Tav,” Gaz teased, “I’m a tenner poorer now, I’ll be out on the streets by monday, livin’ out of a box.” 

“Get tae fuck, ye loony. Least ye’d ha’e y’ur own room” Soap laughed,

“You’ve a good point," Gaz nodded along, "Could be worse. Could be shared barracks,”

Soap felt something cold slither over his fingers and picked up his pace with a curse, the ice-cream was melting in sticky trails over the sides of its wrappings, why did the running track have to be so far away.

Soap hustled over to where Ghost was shouting constructive abuse at the rookies panting their way around the course, with Gaz jogging amiably along in his wake.

“L.T! Ah got ye some’hing,” Soap smiled as Ghost’s lovely calf brown eyes swung their glare unto him, passing over the oyster delight and peaceably ignoring his Lieutenant’s unchanged expression of flat ire. 

He pulled the extra cup off the bottom of his and extracted the second spoon from his strawberry swirl, popping it into his mouth to clean the taint of caramel off it, then handing both over to Ghost. 

Ghost extracted his oyster delight from the napkins mummifying it and dumped it into the bowl, stabbing the oddly flat spoon through an edge to make sure the utensil wouldn't fall out while he one handedly rolled his balaclava up past his nose. All this being accomplished in an unwavering deadpan manner. 

Soap watched Ghost take his first spoonful of ice-cream, then started in on his own. Getting a kick out of the grabbag of baffled, jealous, or resigned expressions that warped the rookies faces as they paced by them and caught sight of their superiour’s new preoccupation. He knew that it would take Ghost a good ten minutes to finish his treat, his teeth too sensitive to the cold to eat it any faster. Unlike Gaz, who had scarfed his and was now panting his way through a self-inflicted ice-cream headache. 

“Thanks, Johnny” Ghost’s quiet rumble whipped Soap’s attention away from Sideshow Garrick and the Scot beamed up at him.

“O’ course L.T! Was nae bother, dinnae fash yersel’,” Soap assured with a smile, bumping his shoulder against Ghost’s, 

“Of course it wasn’t a bother,” Gaz griped, “I paid for it!”

Ghost raised an eyebrow at Gaz, then faced front again repeating, “Thanks, Johnny,” in the flattest tone he could manage. Carefully hiding the smile that hooked at the corners of his mouth when Gaz’s exaggerated spluttering sent Johnny cackling. 

Thank You for Reading!

This one also required an absurd amount of research as I tried to figure out what the hell British ice-cream trucks could feasibly sell, and if scots have some slang word for them, they do. They apparently call an ice-cream cone a 'pokey hat'. A delightful discovery that I had to share as it didn't make it into the story.

PekoeHoneynCream's Masterlist

[keelt9]

Chapter 7

Masterlist

Mika takes out of the oven a new tray of cookies, white chocochips. “You fly right to Monaco or Belgium?” With her day off she insisted we should do a sleepover. 

In her apartment the combination of color green and white makes you feel calm in every room, she said after a long day she could fall asleep even in the kitchen without a problem.

The last GP before summer break has me more excited than I could ever expect and with no race week in the middle of it, it only increases a little bit more.

“I have to pick my last bag from my brother's house, then from Belgium right away to here.” I take a sip of my tea. It's a sleepover but she refused to let another drop of caffeine be on my body, while she can avoid it.

She has that smile, the corner of her lips barely raises but her eyes full of admiration.

“I’m not going to be emotional if it’s what you’re expecting, I’m just proud, that’s all.” Mika takes her baking gloves off her hands, sitting next to me.“Just a few things we need to work on.”

I scoff, but she’s right. “Less caffeine, more vitamins and minerals, and proper hours of sleep…” I cover her mouth with another cookie. 

“I got it, I got it. Take care of myself.” Her doorbell along my cell phone warned us the food is here.

“That’s mint, although.” She points to the sticker at the back of my phone. “Tell Lewis I wouldn't mind one of these.” 

I turnt it around observing the sticker while she's walking to her door. A tyre and in the middle a small paw; is now on my phone case. 

I whisper to myself before biting my lip. “It was someone's last request before I go.”

I arrived in Monaco Wednesday night, Lewis will come to pick me up on the weekend. Right now, he is America, fashion icon one more time.

All my boxes were successfully delivered to London; let me spend the days working, my determined conviction is to enjoy the last to GP without having to work in the paddock.

That Friday night, after I went for a glass of water; back in my room the screen on my phone is lights on, 2 missing calls. I don’t have to ask who it was because it’s calling one more time.

“Y/N?” The voice of Alexa is full of relief. “I’m sorry, I know it’s late but could you…”

“It’s urgent mon amour!” Alexa bluffs, the voice of Charles clearly hammered sounds so funny.

“Long story but can you com…” One more time she’s interrupted.

“Hellu, Y/N? It 's you right, bien sûr que c’est vous, Max is acting like a kid.” Yeah, only him. 

Like he’s telling a secret he whispers right to the phone. “He refuses to go, maybe you don’t have notice but it’s late at night, really late..”

I heard Alexa asking him to sit one more time. “Sorry, it’s just…”

It only takes me one look around the dark room and the clock, 2:31 am. “I’ll go, send me the address.” 

I bet the cab driver must have been chuckling when he heard the direction I asked him to take me and a girl wearing  joggers, hoodie and a cap.

When I arrived a lot of people were coming out of a fancy club, nice clothes still some totter and others into a “deep” talk.

I took my phone out and dialed Alexa's number. “Where are you?” She told me, took them to a nearby bench so they could calm down. 

The near bench was 2 blocks away!

The scene I found it’s far away, the one I'll picture on my way here. Alex is holding Charles hand who is leaning in her arm as Max sits still, eyes closing, when she sees me her face relax.

“Hi, I’m sorry for the delay.” My voice makes Charles open his eyes and point at me.

“There she is!” Alexa rolls her eyes but she is smiling at him.

“I’m the one who should say sorry, but… things went out of control.” I shake my head. “He refused to go.”

I softly touch Max’s shoulder, he opens his eyes like the last time the redness in his face is evident. 

“Are you ok?” Max stands or at least he tries because immediately sits down one more time. “No, you don’t.” My hand on his shoulder is enough for him to rest his head over it. “Hm, I’ll call a cab to take you home, all right?”

Actually I called for two, one for Alexa and Charles and another for Max; she was worried if I would be ok, I calmed her telling her it’s not my first time, making her giggle.

A couple of minutes after they left, a cab stopped in front of us. “Come on Max, it’s time.” 

I put his arm around my shoulder as he got into it, thank God the woman didn't mind taking a look at the boy who has a cap of Machster university. 

After I made sure he’s safe, I was about to close the door, he slightly pulled my hoodie. “It's late, remember, I’ll protect you.”

Not again. 

I take a deep breath, I try to get his hand from my hoodie but he covers my hand with his other hand. “Please.” 

Who could I… 

By the time we reached his apartment I already had backup in case I could need them. 

Max has been dealing pretty well until we get into the lift, he comes out of the cab without so much fuss, walking inside of his building, swaying a little bit, but inside he leans back slowly slipping on the floor of the lift.

A deja vu. “Ok, no, no.” This time I’ll gladly help him to stand, however when he stands the metal door helps me to see he has a smirk on his face.

“Are you enjoying this?” I ask fighting to contain a smile, and his arm around my shoulder. Max shakes his head but a giggle escapes too. “Yeah, sure.”

Took Max 5 minutes to open his door, but he refused to let me help him, saying it’s a door, <Who can’t open a stupid door?> Well…

The impressive amount of trophies in his home along with some helmets and his sim, left me speechless. “Wow.”

Max smiles looking at me with eyes half close. “I couldn't make it all fit.”

“Let’s go, you need to lay down.” He points to the last door. “Believe me, you’re heavier than I think.”

His bedroom has a clear contrast, creamy colors with a navy blue and just a few  frames with photos is all I can see.

With a smile on his face, lays down in his bed. Searching for a blanket, he rolls to his right with eyes closed so I thought he was already asleep; I was about to leave his room when he speaks.

“Tell me a story.” I tilt my head, his eyes still closed but he patted the side of the bed so I could sit.

“Am…I'm not pretty good at telling stories. Dad used to make sleep humming a Bob Marley song… And definitely I'm not going to sing to you.” The memories of dad taking me to my room in his arms as he sings a full song while he covers me watching me fall asleep are one of my most treasured memories.

“That sounds like a good story.” His bubbly laugh makes me smile.

I scratch my forehead, trying to find another story to tell him. “Fuck.”

Max opened his eyes, visibly tired, still making a huge effort to stay awake. “I never heard you curse…Interesting.” 

I laugh because it’s the most silly thing I heard that night. “Let me think, you asked me where the idea of the shelter was, right?” Max nods. “Well, that will be..”

When I was 7 probably 8 years old, Lewis and I were walking around London; he was already in F1 and it was the summer break, near to our old house we found a big brown dog limping from one his legs, it took us 1 minute decided to help him, so I ran for bread in the nearest store. At the beginning he reluctantly smelled it but after we sat next to him, he approached us step by step.

Came late at night with a huge dog was the last thing our parents expected and after a long talk they agreed he would stay with us until he fully recovered. The next day the veterinarian told us he was an old dog probably 12 years old, his health was weak and the fracture in his leg doesn’t give him a long life expectancy, but could care less.

Moon, as we called him, spent the last 3 years of his life with us, waiting for me at the bus stop every time I came from school, making dad and mom company every second and trying to jump when Lewis came home. 

Sadly on a hot night of summer, Moon says goodbye to us sharing the last night of tea under the table. 

That week while I was crying in my room as Lewis hugged me, we made a promise, when I were older enough, we would try to help every homeless dog to at least have a safe place to live. 

As I finished Max was breathing slowly, head buried in his blanket, fully asleep now.

I observed him for a couple of seconds, his eyes closed, the tight grip on the blanket and his face red for too many drinks. 

“I’m going to miss you.” I chuckle, I leaned down for giving a small peck in his cheek. “Good night Max.”

I waited for my back ups in his living room. After 20 minutes Max's door opens one more time, Rupert, his personal trainer, enters quickly.

I think he finally breathed after I told him Max is peacefully sleeping in one piece. “I’ll take you home, we can leave him locked, making sure he doesn't make a bigger mess.” Nice offer but I need time to calm down, a little bit.

“No worries, I already called a cab, it’s ok, thank you anyway.” Rupert nods as he opens the door. 

“Y/N, thank you so much.” Rupert said, reliving that Max is safe at home.

“Am, Checo has plenty of good numbers which I can call.” I joke trying to rest importance to the moment and my confused feelings.

Lewis arrived early in the morning to his apartment, finding me asleep on the couch; we just had a quick breakfast and left right away. We want to enjoy all the moments we can, just for us.

“I can understand it, it just doesn't make so much sense for me.” He keeps complaining that most of the time I have a tendency to sleep on the couch. 

We’re waiting inside of his jet ready to leave. “Because it hasn’t, the couch could be really comfy sometimes.” Lewis raises his eyebrow. “What? Oh you’re so…” I fake a shiver that made him laugh. 

“All right, let’s have fun this week.” He pulls me, grabbing my head and carness my hair. “My little baby is already leaving me.”

I laugh but I softly kick his leg for he let me go laughing like a little kid.

By the end of the day of practice, the social accounts of Mercedes made sure people knew Lewis brought company, with a picture of me on my first GP. A little girl who is wearing big headphones on her head as Lewis is next to me explain something I couldn’t remember; now, the picture is me, similar headphones watching Lewis is on the track, the description is <Time goes by…>

Walking inside the hotel Lewis keeps watching the first photo on his phone. “Look at you, when you used to be so cute.” 

I roll my eyes, similar to all the comments friends and family have sent me along the day. “The <sexy> comments are still too much for me.”

Lewis put his phone in his pocket shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I’m sti…” My words stuck in my throat when I saw Max coming out of the lift. 

All these days, my routine practically consists of going to the garage then the hospitality, with more cameras on me that I expect making me feel shy avoiding all types of contact with people who haven't a Mercede shirt.

Max smiles when his eyes are found with mine, but a weird tension on his shoulders appears when Lewis says hello.

“Let’s go Max, we’re late.” One of the girls from the Red Bull PR team waits for him a few steps away from us.

Lewis softly makes me walk inside of the lift, unable to say something to him.

“Did a <race> incident happen?” I ask to try to see him right to his eyes, but I only see his profile.

“He called around 4 am on Saturday morning, he wanted to apologize for the mess he made. He knows he has to do it with you but doesn't have your phone number.” Oh shit. The jaw tense only increased my nerves. “I asked what mess, and he told me you take him home late at night, drunk.” 

He saw me, an uncomfortable expression on his face. “For the second time.” 

Max Verstappen why do you like to complicate things?

“Well, I…only help, that’s all.” My finger starts to grip my purse tighter. 

Lewis narrows his eyes and takes a deep breath. “What did you tell him?”

“What makes you think I told him something?” It's my turn to choke my head with a serious expression on my face. “Make sure it won’t happen again.” 

Covering my face was the only thing I could do. “That’s the only thing I said to him then, he said he likes you.”

The sensation of the elevator going slowly makes me feel dizzy. We have to be on the last floor.

“I know.” Lewis choked as his eyes turned wide open. “He already implied that.”

As the doors open Lewis makes a sign with his head for going to his room, the talk definitely doesn’t end. 

We talked for one hour… He let me talk. I told him about the first time we met until that Friday night. From time to time I feel an odd heat on my face and a peaceful sensation in my heart.

“That’s all.” I laid back on the chair feeling his eyes on me but he’s more relaxed now. 

“You li…” He tried to speak but I cut him right away. 

“NO! Don’t say it.” I stand walking to the big window. 

The lights of the streets and buildings always make me feel calm, a spark of light in the dark. “I have a ton of things on my head, it’s just… a new friend, a stubborn friend, that’s all. Let’s not confuse things.”

Lewis stood next to me, tingling my arm with his. “Better.” I bluff, making him smile. “Seriously, I appreciate him so much but, like mom said, he’s too sassy most of the time.”

I laughed and leaned my head on his shoulder. “Trust me Lew, next week I’ll be at home, keeping me busy with all the things I have to do, all will go back to normal.”

“I just want to protect you, I couldn’t do it last time.”

I know Lewis believes he could do something for me those days, the truth is, not even myself could prevent how the things went that day.

“This is what it feels like?” Lewis saw me raising his eyebrow as we walked to the garage for the race day. “Be observed under a microscope.” 

Lewis laughs head backwards, but for 3 days at least I have one camera so close to my face on the day.

“Stop right there!” Bottas reached us coming out of his garage, suit on. “You broke my heart, you told us you’ll be here until the end of the season.”

My sharp eyes go right to Lewis. “I thought they already knew.”

“They?” Checo came running from his garage winning exasperated eyes from his PR team. “Lewis Hamilton you’re so…”

Bottas grabs my hand about to give my brother a little punch on his chest. “We don’t use violence.” 

“Is it true?” Checo asked, putting one more time on his cap which was about to fall from his head. 

“I’m afraid it is.” Bottas hugs me, keeping Lewis safe from me.

Checo bluffs but he has an idea for the way he smiles. “We have to take drastic measures.”

It seems they already had this planned for the way they told me their idea so confidently. In a way to say goodbye after the race they already have reserved a nice restaurant for a goodbye dinner like they called.

“After all, I’m afraid we won’t see you soon, right?” Bottas asked with a funny expression on his face. 

I scoff but he’s right. “I’m afraid I don’t have a clue either.”

A great close; Lewis gets second place in a tight final lap. I spent all the time in the front line even in the ceremony where I couldn't avoid seeing Max who from time to time, took a look where I was smiling at him too. 

When all the fuss calmed down Lewis' team prepared a small cake for us, wishing success in our new project and like Rosa said. <Wishing we see you soon,> 

I know I should be prepared for this, still it’s hard to contain the tears, for months they gave me a refugee and more.

As night falls, there are just a few technicians, most of the team's withdrawal from the garage. I told Lewis before going to the dinner I need to talk with Max, hesitant he nods but insite if I need something call him right away.

Checo told me Max is probably still in his garage; he won although he doesn’t like the way his car feels along all the race.

I found him leaning back in his car breathing deep seeing it like he could scan with his eyes to find the problem. I approach him slowly, hating the way my steps echo on the floor warning him about my presence.

Max turned his head but didn’t make another move, in his eyes you see a mix of surprise and ease, like he’s been waiting for this still wasn’t prepared for it.

I stand next to him unable to say or make another move, like a layer of ice born between us .

“I thought you had an appointment for dinner.” Max is always straightforward.

I look at his car but it’s hard to find some words, not now he clearly knows something.

“I wanted to talk to you before you hear it, even though I’m late, right? I will say it right away.” I let all the air on my lungs come out. “This was my last Grand Prix.”

Max knuckles turn white while he’s still grabbing his car, his blue eyes one more time start to form a storm inside of it.

“Yeah, I heard…something about it.” He clears his throat, his voice is the most serious I’ve heard from him. “Why now?”

“The project is getting into a critical phase, traveling around the world it’s getting more complicated.” My words are heavier than I thought it would be. “This is the best for me.”

Max finally stands quickly making me feel vulnerable but not intimidated. “I wasn’t expecting this.” 

The moment his eyes found mine I saw more bewilderment than anger. “I thought I had more time.” 

Inside of me there is a fight I clearly wasn’t prepared for, I don’t want to hurt him but I won’t quit my decision.

“I didn't want to tell you because things were pretty “weird” and you have a race. I want you to hear it from me, not for a rumor.” Max nods when he turns to his left slightly. I see the way his jaw tense.

A dry laugh it’s the only thing I heard for a couple of seconds, a sign that still he couldn’t believe it. “So this is it.”

That’s not a question and not a statement.

I take a step, not a physical one. “I’m being honest, I’m glad we got to know each other.” Even if I’m smiling, a nostalgic feeling makes my heart squeeze.

Max put his hands at both sides of his waist, frustrated on every move of his body, in his eyes you can see him searching for the right words to say, until something clicks on his head. 

“I'm dying to ask you to stay but I won’t do it, but… if I ask you to come just one more couple of races, you will come?” 

I observed him, always surprised with his honesty. “Max, I… I’ll be busy, you know?”

The determination in his eyes it’s really annoying in a good way. “I know, I’m, oh my God Y/N why are you making this so hard?”

I giggle, getting my head low. “Max, let's be honest, I’m not the one who complicates things, you said and do weird things and I…”

“Because I’m trying to flirt with you!” Max has his fist tight, and chuckles about the odd situation around us. “Ok, I say it, you want me to repeat it, I’ll do it.”

I shake my head; he seems it’s about to scream. 

“Y/N…” I see around all the garage, unable to see or hear anything. “Now, can you please let me do this properly, you are taking away from me half of a year.” 

“Max…” He definitely won’t shut up.

“I'm flirting with you because I like you!” As soon as that word came from his mouth I walked closer covering it with one of my hands as the other one grabbed his arm, otherwise I would fall over him.

Any of us expect that because of the way his eyes open and his arm tighten, from that moment on, something will change, things won’t return to normal.

I close my eyes trying to calm down but… Have you seen the sea when it’s dark blue with the soft white line of the waves crashing against each other? 

I could see it right now on his eyes

[lilis-doodle-dome]

Mafukasa swap au, with in game screen cap edits

Things that swapped:

- Parents level of overbearing (Tenma’s are incredibly suffocating, while mafumom is well intentioned but left mfy alone far too much)

- roles in the group (Emu is WxS’ leader, while Mafuyu is Niigo’s)

- appearance of Sekai (Tsukasa has a more monochrome/depressing vibe, while Mfy’s is fanciful and colorful)

- outward persona (Tsukasa is the golden boy, perfect at everything, well mannered, etc. while Mafuyu is outgoing, confident, helpful (even when it’s not asked for), etc.)

Things that did not swap:

- Gender, and therefore school’s they go to

- which group they’re in

- familial situation outside of parents (Tsukasa is still Saki’s older brother and the Tenma’s are still close with the Aoyagi’s, Mfy is still a single child)

- Tsukasa is still the one with memory issues, so Mafuyu is influenced by bad memories from her past from the get go instead of slowly remembering them (she is still completely unwilling to actually engage with said memories even if she remembers them though)

- Which VS’s they start with (Mafuyu is just miku, Tsukasa is Miku and Kaito)

Other important things: (if interested)

- Saki and Tsukasa’s relationship is a lot more strained, Saki has incredibly conflicting feelings about her brother and Tsukasa always has his front up, even around her, so they can’t have a proper conversation

- Toya also has a stilted relationship with Kasa, both the Tenma’s and his father tended to compare the two boys. So while he still looks up to Tsukasa, he has some reservations about weather his admiration is genuine or just feelings implanted in him from the adults. Toya’s much closer with Saki, as he visited her a lot in the hospital (initially at Tsukasa’s request)

- Mafmom is a single mom, and a doctor. Needless to say she is busy *a lot*, bcs of that she’s always needed Mafuyu to be self sufficient and responsible, far before the age one could reasonably except for a child. She still loves Mafuyu very much and always tries her best to give her daughter a free and happy life

- Rather than an actor, Mafuyu found her passion in writing poetry. She wants to become the best poet of all time, which is what leads her to writing lyrics for K’s songs. Only the best composer could possibly support the best lyricist after all!

- Mafuyu’s love of writing comes from remembering all the times in the past her mom would come home late at night, looking exhausted both physically and emotionally, mfy would stay up to see her and then the two would cuddle under the blankets and read together. In those moments it would really feel like none of the rest of the day existed and all those pains and anxieties would slip away from her mother as they were transported to another world in their stories

- some time into this ritual, mafuyu started writing her own stories for her mother, and while Mafumom said she loved all of Mafu’s writing there was something special about her poetry that completely dispelled all of mafumom’s bad feelings and just let her live in the lines of text

- after that poetry became mafuyu’s life, and her Sekai is built off her desire to help people feel better with her work.

- Tsukasa’s Sekai also doesn’t match canon mafuyu’s it’s not built off his desire to disappear, instead it’s his desire to be his own person and figuring out who he even is in the first place (the other three can enter his sekai due to their shared desire of wanting to be themselves without getting hurt for it)

- Tsukasa hopes that by acting, he might resonate with a role and it’ll help him learn more about himself

- since they’re in the images, fun fact, Ruikasa kizuna rank title is ‘charity case’ (in place of 1-2 weirdo wombo combo) due to people assuming perfect, golden boy Tsukasa only started spending time with Rui because Teachers were hoping he would keep Rui out of trouble and get other students to look at Rui more favorably (thus Rui is Tsukasa’s ‘charity case’)

- while kanamafu’s kizuna rank is ‘please take a break’ due to both of them trying to constantly get the other to take better care of themselves. Mafuyu always saying Kanade needs to eat and sleep rather than composing all the time, while Kanade is desperately trying to make Mafuyu realize that working all day and putting ‘110%’ into everything she does, is infact unhealthy and not ‘the work ethic every good writer should strive for’ (it is not working on either end, Kanade is too guilty and mafuyu is too deep in denial)

I have a lot for this au, but making certain things is,,, difficult. To say the least

[bigshymen]

SAM SULEK X MASC READER

summary : you’re excited to finally use that planet fitness membership you purchased because you want to achieve gains like your idol, sam sulek. what happens when you spot him on the only pull up machine in the gym?

skinny reader , insecurity , swearing , meet-cute & meet-sexy , one shot , no smut

You finally did it. You got the membership and you’re one step closer to achieving your goal physique. You stand nervously in the gym, feeling a bit overwhelmed amidst the clanging weights and the hum of the treadmills. Where should you start? Pull-ups are good for big shoulders right?

This Planet Fitness has only one pull-up machine and the guy using it is huge.

Taking a deep breath, you summoned the courage to approach the machine. As you got closer, you realized just how intimidatingly massive the guy currently preoccupying it was. He was as if one of those larger than life influencers walked out of a phone screen.

His posterior was as sculpted as his back under his thin-looking black tee, leaving almost nothing to the imagination regarding his top half. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of familiarity when you noticed the cap obscuring his head full of long and pretty bronze curls.

Your feelings of inadequacy only increased while watching the mysterious man preform each pull up with ease, his muscles ripping with each rep. You couldn’t help but admire him from afar, your heart pounding even harder as you continued to watch in awe.

With a flush of embarrassment, you realize how creepy you must seem and you look away wist pretending to be engrossed in the settings on a nearby treadmill.

But fate seemed to have other plans as the specimen of a man finished his set, breathing hard, hopped off of the machine. Landing next you and turning around, manuvering his muscular body gracefully, he reveals himself as none other than Sam Sulek?!

You can’t stop yourself from racking your eyes from his traps to his perfectly sculpted calves. Strong thighs you want to feel beneath your hands, his shorts just indecent enough to expose it all. Is this real?

Fuck. You’re such a pervert. You catch yourself staring and look up at the kind of cute and confused face of your gym idol-influencer-crush. Did he say something?

“Sorry for hogging the machine, dude. I’m finished now.” He apologizes, a hit of nervousness in that same smooth, deep voice of his you’ve fallen asleep to countless times on video. “No, no, you’re good.” You stammered in response to the giant’s infectiously gentle demeanor. Internally you grimaced at how unsteady and high pitched your voice sounded. Letting out an awkward laugh you and he proceed to shift around each other to let the other have a turn on the machine, given Sam’s huge frame in contrast to your tiny one.

Thankfully, filling the silence, Sam takes the initiative to revive the conversation and the two of you have a light hearted back and forth while he takes a break after finishing his sets. You hesitantly share that you’re new to lifting, gesturing to your gangly physique, and that you actually don’t know how to do a proper pull-up.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Sam.” He introduces himself out of the blue, extending a confident hand. It begins to dawn on you when your shaky and slightly sweating digits meet his that he doesn’t know you’re a fan. He shakes your hand firmly, his white smile only widening. “Don’t worry, everyone’s nervous when they start. I can show you the ropes if you want.”

Your nerves instantly eased up at Sam’s friendliness and you couldn’t stop your face heating up from his brief touch. The two of you moved in sync to the pull up machine while Sam began to explain his technique. You tried to focus on his instructions, but it was hard to concentrate with his close proximity and his overwhelming presence.

Attempting your first pull up, you couldn’t help but steal fleeting glances at Sam, who stood nearby offering encouragement.

You’d take the secret to the grave if it meant the start of something more.

[starillusion13]

Thank You…

Pairing: Taeyong x f!reader

Genre: Idol au, slice of life, strangers

W.C: 3.7k

Warnings: none (but a bit emotional and talking to a stranger at night alone and also having self doubts)

Networks: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Guys my first ever Taeyong fic…I’m gonna cry😭

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated . Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

"Are you waiting for me...again?" your soft voice broke his trance and he turned towards you. His screen was on full brightness and he squinted his eyes to take a proper look of yours. He switched his phone off and nodded to your direction. You softly smiled at him and with slow steps, you walked towards the bench he was sitting on.

It's pretty usual for you to find him sitting on the bench and scrolling through his phone almost every day. Not every-day. It was not the same before three months.

One day when you were going back home from your work, you were depressed and also a bit sad and you sat on the bench to feel the cool breeze. Sometimes, spending time alone by the river and letting your thoughts out with a sigh and inhaling the peaceful aroma from the surrounding is a blessing. You often went to this place whenever you felt stressed.

But that day it was different. You found something, rather you met someone for whom you felt the urge to go there everyday and to your surprise that someone would always be there waiting for you.

Three months back. It started back then. You still remembered his glistening eyes staring at you and his broken voice. He was crying. Tears were flowing down his eyes and his hands were gripping his denim tightly. He was talking to you. His words were directed to you. He was lost. He was hated. He was broken. He was alone. Except his eyes. Nothing more was visible. He was wearing a black mask and a black cap. You didn't know why he was wearing all those for hiding his face but still who were you to ask him that.

Why were you even concern?

"Take this." You extended your hand offering your handkerchief towards him. He stared at it for too long and his gaze moved up to your face. You smiled acknowledging his attention.

It was your preferrable bench and usually you didn't find anyone before in that place and with the thought of having a company that day seemed a perfect idea. But when you got the closer look, it was not the way you thought. It was pretty much more than that.

Taking the handkerchief from your hand, he clutched it tightly in his hold. You followed his movement and heaved a sigh before putting up a little smile and turned towards him, shifting a bit closer to him but maintaining a decent distance. You suddenly didn't want to creep him out.

"You can wipe your tears or do anything with it. You can take it with you. Its not containing chloroform though so don't be scared. Its pretty new and the sweet mint smell is because of a spray bottle in my bag. I gave that to you so that other people wont notice you crying while going back home." You wanted to cheer him up and rambled everything to not make you seems like a crazy person but you were doing worse for yourself.

You gulped when noticing his lost eyes staring at you and you pressed your lips into thin line and raised your brows.

"I'm sorry..." "Thank you."

You both said at the same time. You laughed off the awkwardness and he chuckled too. Your eyes went wide and you stopped laughing.

"Did you just laugh? Did I make you smile? Wait did you said some words like in my language?" you were on it again with your questions bombarding on him.

"Which answer do you want first?" he asked you softly. His voice was broken and rough. The voice was having a glint of familiarity but you thought that many people can have same voice.

You pout and pressed your back to the seat and leaned back to look up at the sky. You took deep breathes. He was watching your every moment as if he saw a human being for the first time. His eyes trailed down from your short hairs waving to the breeze then to your exhausted face and down to you clutching your bag tightly to yourself. He noticed a particular keychain, rather a bundle of keyrings. The view of familiar objects tugged at his heart.

"Are you tired?" he asked you.

You silently nodded and remained in the same posture, just moving your head to face him, "yeah...I am but am willingly to hear you. Really. I'm serious. You can say me anything. I mean no harm."

He nodded and mimicked your posture. You smiled at him for being comfortable with you.

"Do you come here often?" he asked you again and faced you but you were already staring at the stars. His gaze was fixed on you.

"No. maybe not often but usually whenever I feel for a refreshment or like to spend time alone, I come here to think about everything and sink into my thoughts to dive back to a life with no stress." You weakly smiled and a frown appeared on your face and you faced him. You were shocked that he was already facing you but still you raised your voice, "hey, you are asking me questions and am answering them all but you didn't reply any of my earlier questions."

He laughed. It was not just a chuckle but a genuine laugh. Your heart felt light seeing him laughing as if a wave of familiarity passing you again. As if this laugh makes you happy somewhere but you cant set it in place. Where? The only way of knowing his emotions were through his eyes and voice. He had boba eyes and those were shining so much under the moonlight as if all those stars were just locked inside his watery gaze which were on you.

"I was teaching you how to ask questions to someone."

He paused and waited for your response. You sat back up and glared at him and he got up too, facing you.

"Don't tease me like that. I was just trying to make you comfortable with me so that you could feel a bit better from whatever you were hurt......but I think I made fun of myself."

He patted your head, "hey it's okay. I was just joking. Its funny though. You are sulky like Doy- my best friend."

You laughed with him.

He continued, "I can laugh because I have emotions. I can smile too but just you cant see me now. I can feel every emotion because I have a heart to feel it. Just some people are ignorant that I am a human too. They point out my mistakes. I appreciate it. They love me. I love them back. I do everything for others but in the end, they just turn their back to me for a misunderstanding. I hope I'm speaking in your language because I'm not an alien." He sadly chuckled. A tear fell from his eyes. He wiped it off with your hanky.

You stared at him. What happened? Who are these people he is talking about?

"to the last I give them everything. Even if I'm tired and feeling to give up but still I want to do everything to see others happy. Just to see them. To see us. Happy. Am I really bad?" he asked the last question softly and stared straight into your eyes.

The question felt like directly pointing towards you. As if he wanted you to answer it. He was eager to listen to you but you just gulped. You didn't know who were the people he was talking about, why he was sad and what he was even talking about. Overall, you knew he was broken and hurt.

"no one is really bad." You licked your lips before continuing, "do you think I'm perfect. No. we can't be perfect in every way. Its natural for some people to love us and some to hate us and we should always focus on the good part. Look out for the people who are still good to you and trying to know the actual reason without misunderstanding you. If you only focus on the shining part, every other thing will eventually blur out."

"that's how you keep up with your life?"

"maybe. Actually I try to keep up like that. I try every day. Sometimes its really hard to live when you don't have any good reason to be motivated and only getting hurt by some worst reality. But thanks to some people who are cheering me up every day from afar without even knowing me. They never hurt me but heal me. whenever they get hurt. I feel sad. Oh yeah wait you should follow them."

" them? Who? They are really good people then." He smiled in the end.

You hurriedly searched for your phone inside your bag, your keyrings dangling and he was gazing at the familiar things again. He was both scared and happy to see it. He was unsure about his feeling because of you.

You typed something in your phone and your face was lit up to the light from your screen. You were so focused and excited to show him some people. He was curious to know who were the people you were excited about. he was glad that you had some people to make you feel happy.

"look...they are the best.." you scooted closer towards him. You didn't mind that his fingers were almost touching your thighs. It was nothing disrespectful and you were wearing a jeans similar to him and you were all focused on your screen than minding your surroundings, "This is NCT. My favorite boy group."

Three familiar letters visible to his eyes. N.C.T. so you were talking about them. He would have told you about his members in a similar way. They are really best. He thought that inside his mind and smiled to himself. His members are really best. They are his family. But is he good enough to fit with them? This thought lingering in his mind.

"so like they have so many members. Its pretty hard to understand them when you are new but gradually you will understand them and their different units. You will definitely love them. You know life is pretty harsh to us. We are hated and get hurt by others even when we ourselves don't know what we did wrong. But still we can be happy." You held his hand. "please don't hurt yourself thinking about them. Please be happy. Think of the people who love you. Who want to see you happy?"

"do you love NCT? Do you love them?" his sudden question made you blink twice.

"yeah. I love them a lot. They are my safe place after a stressful day. You will find a different world when you are with them. You will feel as if you have a family who loves you from a distance. Their smile, their laugh, their jokes, their voice, their moves, and everything is filled with a bond of love. A love of friendship. I really don't have friends who love them but a few online friends though." You stated but still deep in thoughts when you looked at your screen and scrolled down.

"Tell me..." you looked back at him when he asked you, "tell me about this NCT. I want to know about them."

"you can search it up on google NCT which is Neo Culture Technology. Wait I'm giving you some youtube link."

He held your hand, halting your movement, "no I want to hear it from you. I want to hear your perspective. I can search their group details and all from the internet but I can never search for your point of view."

"what do you want to hear?"

"everything. From the beginning."

You nodded and again leaned back but now he was still sitting facing you. He watched how you kept your bag between you and him and sighed, "I was in high-school when I found them. They were rookies back then and literal children like me, even though some are of my age. I wasn't a person of outgoing and party lover so basically I used to spend my time alone in my room and one day I found out a video on them. I reluctantly opened it and started watching it. Out of curiosity, I dig in the video and watched all the related and recommended videos. I searched about them everywhere. I felt as if I found a new family. I noticed that I always felt happy whenever I was with them, of course through a screen. I found a family and him. He made me love myself. He taught me how to be hard-working and be good to others. 'Never give up on your dreams. You can make it happen.' He guided me when I had no one. I am too much related to them."

"who is he? Member of NCT?" he asked you and adjusted his cap.

You nodded, "yes. My favorite person."

"What's his name? tell me about him?"

You chuckled, "if you were a fan of kpop and asked me this then I would have feel weird and thought you were asking me about my bias to make him your own bias. Hey, I'm just kidding. Well his name is Lee Taeyong. He is the leader of NCT. He was the reason I got invested into this group so much. He caught my eyes first because somewhere I felt his story of struggles personally. I saw how he fights his inner battles just to prove others that he is good. Sometimes it feels like he wants to prove it to himself more. I don't know him personally but I know his life is much more difficult behind those screens. But I want him to be happy like the way he makes me smile."

Lee Taeyong. The moment his name came out of your mouth. He was shocked. Previously he was shocked already for many reasons. Your Czennie keyrings, your favorite group is NCT and then he is your bias. And you described him in such a loving way. The way he never thought of himself to see. He often heard things like this from his members who are apparently his best-friends. But he never heard anything like this from other anyone in person. The person who is his fan.

"do you think he is a good person? What if he is bad and people starts hating on him? Will you hate him too?" he asked you in an unsure tone but you smiled back to him.

"As I said earlier. No one is totally perfect. Neither you nor myself is good. But we try to improve ourselves and probably he is fighting too. He is a human too like us. He is not a toy who needs to be perfect for us to love them. Their truths and different emotions and sides made me fall in love with them. I don't care what others think about him. But I will believe him till the day I find an actual reason to hate him. I will love him. I love him a lot." You smiled brightly.

You were smiling thinking of Taeyong. But the man sitting in front of you had tears in his eyes but there was a proud and thankful smile hiding behind the mask.

"you are pretty like your soul." His hand caressed your cheeks. You got startled with the sudden touch and he noticed it and quickly apologized.

"I meant that people who know how to love others are really pretty like you. I'm sure he loves you too. He deserves fans like you. He needs fans like you." His words were dipped in hurt. He was telling as if he needs you. You softly smiled.

“Well I’m just a czennie or also you can say a NCTzen from Neocity. I’m happy in this delulu world.”

“What’s delulu?” He was confused.

“You haven’t heard the world delulu? There is a famous phrase ‘Delulu is the solulu’ means delusion is the solution. I just like to be happy in my delusions apart from this reality sometimes.”

“Don’t you want him to love you back the same way you love him? Don’t you want to feel him in your reality other than being delusional?”

You unlocked your screen and stared at the lockscreen and he noticed that it was his picture with a bright smile on his face hiding all the pain behind it and feeling loved by all the fans which was brightly glowing in your phone. In your heart.

“I love him. I really love him but…” you smiled at the picture, “but he is for his fans to love him…even if I want to keep him to myself.”

You looked up to his eyes.

Your words directly hit his heart. He felt like he needed you all these times. You were like an angel who was sent to point out the good in everything. But as you said he was not yours in the first place. There are many others like you who are loving him and being motivated by him. He is their inspiration for life.

He is for his fans to love him.

He got a call from his manager and then you both parted your ways. He fished the hanky in his pocked and walked away with waving you goodbye.

And like that everyday you would see him sitting there waiting for you and gradually you became friends in few weeks and still you don’t know his face.

“It’s not fair how you get to see me and know my face but I don’t know anything about you.”

“It’s better for you to not know my face. And also we don’t know one thing about each other so let it be like this.”

“What?”

“We don’t know each other’s names.”

“Do you want to know?”

He shook his head, “no. Let’s keep it like this…it’s better.”

This became a daily routine of yours and today it was similar to find him at the exact same spot. He always waits there at the bench when you return from your work.

“Yeah I was waiting for you but then I thought you won’t be coming today and I was sad.”

He stood up and patted your head.

You were surprised to see him being like that but still put on a smile.

“Why were you sad? Because you won’t have someone to talk to? Well I am here now…”

He nodded, “I am sad but all these days I was happy because of you. I loved talking to you. But…we won’t be meeting again…I was here to spend few months holidays in my free time from stressful worklife but I had my best days because of you.”

Oh. So he is leaving.

“You are leaving……”

“Even if I’m leaving we will keep this memory forever with us. Our life is private to each other but we have a common secret. The secret of us in these 3 months.”

He extended his hand revealing a green coloured hanky. You creased your brows and stared at it.

“Why?”

“I heard that czennies love green colour so that’s a friendship gift for you like you gave me on our first day. I have kept it with me. The red colour was cute. And this is for you.”

You took it and today you were crying. You were crying because you felt someone ripping your heart apart or like he was leaving a blank space in your puzzle.

You noticed tiny stitches in a corner of the hanky. Three letters written in black L.T.Y. And below it with a small hyphen again three letters N.C.T.

L.T.Y.

- N.C.T.

“L.T.Y. Huh?”

“Love Thank You…” he pronounced each word with a space. His voice was like usual, a bit clogged due to the mask and sometimes it’s difficult to understand his words.

“Love?”

“You are filleded with love and purity. You are a love in person.”

Oh. Silly you.

“For a second I thought it’s Lee Taeyong.”

He followed your laugh. But then he told you to look up at the sky. You did as he told you.

“ if you feel like to talk to me ever again. I’m going to listen to you through those stars. I will talk to you like that too.”

You nodded and a tear dropped from your eyes like a shooting star of losing hope to see him again.

“Will I ever get to see you again?” You asked him in a broken voice.

You have never seen his face and also don’t know anything about him but still you got attached to him too much. Can’t you keep in touch with him?

“Don’t know but it’s better not. It will be better if I just remain as a part of your memory not your reality or present.”

Not your reality or present.

You nodded again.

Like everyday he got a call again after which he leaves in hurry. It was same for today as well but today’s farewell was meant forever. Before he could turn around after saying goodbye.

You hugged him.

It was a quick hug and you quickly retreated yourself and looked down after taking few steps back. He stepped forward and patting your head, he nodded.

“I’m sorry… but I felt like to hug you and I want to say Thank you before our last goodbye. I hope you didn’t cry again. You are perfect in your own way. People love you and I know you are a person to be loved.”

You love him too. It might can sound weird but it’s okay because as a friend you love him a lot.

“It’s okay I can understand. And….thank you to you too. and please keep loving him. Taeyong needs you to love him.”

Waving your hands to each other. He ran to the opposite direction to your home. You watched his retreating figure until the far your eyes could see him because you knew beyond that you won’t be seeing him again.

Thank you…

he was thankful to meet his fan.

After that whenever you crossed that place, you glanced for once in the direction with a losing hope and found it empty. You sadly smiled at it and looked up to the stars.

“I hope you are happy living your life somewhere…”

“Thank you, czennie.”

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades [open!]

[theysangastheyslew]

And now it’s time for the obligatory Levi-bathing-Hange comic XD

Ok so Tumblr’s search function is reliably useless as ever and my screen cap of the text post cut off the og url so if this dialogue is yours pls let me know so I can give proper credit :3

[afreakingdork]

Soft Spot - Chapter 4

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader

Donnie's always working on something like in this week’s chapter art by @garbagemilkshake

Rated: Explicit

Warnings/Tags: Romance, Established Relationship, Married Couple, Married Life, Aged-Up Mutant Ninja Turtles, Villain Donatello (TMNT), Love, POV Second Person, Babies, Pregnancy, AFAB reader, Vaginal Sex, Rough Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Fertility Issues, Pregnant Sex, Pregnancy Kink, Reader-Insert, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Cum Eating, Turtle Noises (TMNT), I have a Biology Degree and I’m Using it

Synopsis: First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the next step about as smooth as the others arrived. The baby-oriented sequel to Weak Spot.

Also available on Ao3

First 💜 Previous

LAST WARNING FOR THE 🍋 UNDER THE CUT. MINORS DNI!

“Okay.”

You looked over from where you were adjusting the collar of your shirt.

“Technically your cycle started six days ago, but marking today as the first cleared from your period.” Donnie spoke with a litany of screens about him.

“It was a long one…” You ruminated. “I hate when it’s just bloody discharge those last few days, like just empty out already.”

Donnie nodded and paced with his circle of screens moving fluidly along.

You noticed a few purple Tetris blocks mixed in amongst the technology and walked closer to get a look at them.

“With your permission I’ve taken an average of your cycles to work off of.” Donnie paced away from you without noticing.

You gave chase.

“As you have cleared, I’ve been examining you daily through the entirety of approximately your last three cycles. That paired with menstrual data that was passively collected, I can accurately map out our schedule.”

You got close to one floating purple block, but Donnie neared a wall and, like a Roomba, rotated away to go in another direction.

“We then take into account your clinical OBGYN visits. Your gametes are considered in a good health range. Mine are in a similar state per my personal evaluation. It is only combining our genetics that interferes now. Consider we are tethered to probability, following your ovulation gives us the best chances of conceiving.”

You watched his path and waited for what direction he would bounce towards next so you could intercept.

“My sperm appears to have a similar lifespan to that of a humans’. That’s a three to five day window in which they can survive in your reproductive system. To best maximize our chances, we should keep you filled just prior to and during your ovulation. Hence the necessity of your menstrual schedule.”

He trended towards the bed and you frowned because that would send him right back out into the bedroom proper.

“Now, we could use the plug, but that was meant as a sexual device. There is no need to keep you full of seminal fluid which only acts as transport.”  

You saw mental images of Pong play out and realized he would soon be heading straight back towards you.

“A more useful and adjacent device would be a conception cap, but I wonder about its necessity as my sperm are tenacious…”

You adjusted your stance and waited.

“We can reconsider going forward if our current methods don't prove fruitful.” He made the final pivot in your direction. “For now, we will begin with this schedule.”

Before he reached you a calendar appeared in your face.

It marred your vision and kept you from seeing those strange fragments.

You gave a small sigh.

“Something wrong?” He swiped your screen to the side so he could better see you. “I debated a separate calendar from our usual, but it made more sense to combine them. Why waste time going out to dinner when we could put our hours to better use filling you with my seed?”

Your stomach flipped and you almost forgot about your other quest. “T-that’s not…”

He waited.

You shook your head and further moved the screen to step into his space.

Holograms broke up around you and you reached out toward the floating oddities.

“What are these?”

Donnie’s arm lowered and, with it, his screens collapsed. “I have been pushing the limits of my ninpo.”

“This is your ninpo?” You tapped the small block and it was indeed solid.

“Yes. My mysticism forms via construction. It is what I understand. However, it is also a manifestation. I have reason to believe that I can integrate it into my technology.”

“You want that?” You cupped your palms under it as if to hold the pieces. “Your tech is amazing. Would the ninpo make it better?”

“My screens now are hologram projections. They come from a knowable source. Though they are expertly encrypted, there is still a chance they could be hacked. Mystic technology, in theory, has no system to stem from. It is being projected from my very being. A completely uncrackable network!”

You sought Donnie’s eyes with growing amazement. “Oh… When you put it like that…”

He nodded enthusiastically. “I can replace everything with complete safety.”

Within your palm, you watched the pixels shift ever so slightly.

“However, data is intangible. While you say you build a system, you are instead writing the basis for it. I can visualize the code, but not its weight. There is a current disconnect between such so I have a simple form of a router up for the time being. I am feeding the connection from my tech gauntlet through my ninpo before it reaches the usual old screens. I am hoping it will help inspire said information to display as if it were a computer and I can then cut out the middle man.”

“Your gauntlet…” You let the ninpo go and moved to touch the device on his wrist.

“I have no plans to stop wearing or using it. My ninpo requires focus and tapping energy of which I have little stamina for. It is another facet of the router manifestation. Raphael described mystic arts as any other muscle to be trained. Thus I try to keep some form of ninpo up when I can and for as long as I am able.”

“Right… The tech’ll be a backup if you’re ever out of commission.”

“I suppose…” Donnie had an interested edge to him.

You fluttered your lashes as you waited for him to elaborate.

He churred into your space, but didn’t make contact. “It’s mysticism. Its rules are infuriating. Who’s to say I am limited in that way? I aim to create lasting constructions.”

“Donatello, my love, always pushing boundaries.” You spoke wistfully.

He lavished in the praise with closed lids before he straightened his posture.

“Speaking of lasting constructions…”

He eyed you and brought the screens back up.

“Let’s say I didn’t hear anything after you mentioned my period being over… How would you feel about repeating everything…?” You grinned.

His patience for you didn’t seem to have a limit though he did have minor scorn as he started his explanation over.

-

You were giddy as you stood outside of your own front door. Adjusting your clothes for about the third time, you debated your entry. You were spoiled for choice, but wanted to make this occasion special. Per Donnie’s planning, today marked the window just before your ovulation. It was the crossroads section in which his sperm would stay alive within you and be ready to inseminate the moment it became possible.

You had both also agreed to stave off sex until today. It was a paltry three day window and you had joked about Donnie saving up. As he was these days, he had bitter corrections for any perpetuated mythos. He was a regular sex ed teacher and explained that while it was possible that certain abstinence could lead to increased sperm counts, the ejaculate would contain older, less agile emissions. It was under his scrutiny that you agreed to only wait to enhance this moment.

A giddy countdown now had you shaking with the thrill and your entry. 

Should you come in sultry and swing your belongings out of the way while announcing yourself?

Would Donnie be waiting to sweep you off your feet?

Would you not make it to the bedroom?

Would there be a line of candles and flower petals guiding your way?

Running through every scenario, you abandoned them all in favor of the door knob. It turned for you and you pushed against the wood. It revealed your apartment and you didn’t immediately notice anything had changed. It looked like your usual home and your lips parted to announce your presence.

Before you could speak, your husband stepped out so he was across from your entry.

He was the picture of dichotomy.

From his posture and squared shoulders, he was ready.

From his stance, he could not be knocked down.

From where his hands lazily flopped back to his sides, it said he’d been wringing them.

From the pinched lines of his face and the faded look to his pupil, he was tightly wound with nerves.

All of him read an equal amount of excited and nervous.

You forgot all about some fancy entrance and moved to your mate.

He accepted you as your bag fell to the ground. His willingness to give himself over read as an emotional scar and you swept over his shirt. It was something plain he’d probably been in all day and, upon finding nothing of note, you coasted up to his cheek. His head tipped into your palm and you felt your affection swallow you whole. “Hello, sweet. You hanging in there?”

“I should have asked you to take today off…” He spoke with sorrow.

“We’re saving that for ovulation day.” You reminded him.

“I know…” His hands trended beneath yours. “That’s why I didn’t.”

You nodded and curled your fingers to pull him down.

He resisted at first, his eyes darting to commit you to memory before he lowered.

He came with a winding and you met him for a kiss.

It struck as mellow in comparison to everything you had seen. He seemed to smile at your confusion and pressed into you to make his intention known. What came then was tenderness, but those nerves still slipped beneath it. You wanted to ask why, but the glowing embers against his lips spoke of how deep his desire was. You imagined maybe he had a fear of how deep his carnal desires could go. He was finally exercising his top kink in its truest form. It seemed obvious that he'd be afraid he might consume you.

It reminded you of an old line from your first date about a bear. It struck you how you had long become equally as voracious as him and you channeled that ferocity. The surge of both your body and emotion knocked him back a step. Drunk off the power to ruffle the master, you pursued him as much as he would allow. He soon got his feet stabilized which meant you were a tiny powerhouse against the pylon of his body. His form held steady, allowing you whatever wanton destruction you craved that wasn’t his person.

It came in the form of his clothes which you twisted up and pulled at. He bent for you, coming down enough so you could yank his top off and knocked his glasses in the process. He chuckled at your need, but gave no recompense. It left you as the one-sided onslaught and you pantsed him in retaliation.

When you came up from shoving his waistband down, he only had an arched brow that sarcastically challenged your childish move.

You tittered at the sight, playing it off. “Here? Couch? Bed…?”

He looked over each spot as if he had all the time in the world.

His bond barely concealed how much his emotion begged to differ.

You put out a sort of sigh and trended to his right.

“I’ve been bombarded with info lately…” You mourned and slid a forlorn hand across his wraps. “Intro to baby making.”

He watched you circle him.

You made sure to keep a teasing digit on him at all times. “A long winded separation ig facts and old wives tales…”

You appeared on his other side and he continued to track you.

“No sex position increases odds, but deep penetration is good. Whatever gets the sperm closest to the cervix…” You stopped at his front and sighed again.

You saw his fingers twitch as he withheld himself.

“Hard to push you into missionary if you aren’t going to help…” You kept your eyes to his plastron and followed scute lines with your fingertips.

You felt his head move as he tried to view your path.

You caught him with his neck bent forward as you snapped your attention up. “You really want to finally knock me up with me on top?”

You watched his pupils adjust to the prospect.

There was the language.

You told him that he was going to participate regardless.

There was the insinuation.

As it had all day, today was the day it was finally teetering on dangerous to fuck.

There was the challenge.

Was he going to be passive?

In one fluid motion, he dropped his center of gravity.

Excitement exploded in your belly and his elbows snapped akimbo. They led as his hands slid up into your shirt in a perfect slide. Smooth prints teased your spine and had you arching as he got to your bra. It took a single trace to the clasp and he barely had to flick to undo it. It was then, with a lift, that your entire upper ensemble was headed upward. You scrambled to lift your arms and just barely saved your chin from catching the fabric.

He hovered over you like a dance and your spine wilted dangerously from how much real estate he commanded. He beamed you a million watt smile before you heard the fabric plop onto the floor. The textures struck you and his arms came down to press into the curve of your back. He kept you safely dipped like a dancer there with one hand while the other danced around your front. It felt over your belly before a single digit found interest in your fly.

It worked expertly with a twist and flick until he was able to undo your trousers. They slacked open in the fold and he skimmed with that single hand around your waistband as if testing its tensile strength. The backs of your thighs burned from the weight distribution and your neck ached from having to hold up against gravity. Donnie only surveyed the curve of your body with faint flicks of his gaze as he instead focused on circling your hips.

With a sudden hook of his thumb, he levied half your bottoms and shoved down. The other side clung and it took a clean swipe from the opposite direction to catch them. He moved in a seesaw that had his thumb nail skimming more sensitive skin as he rocked your pants and underwear down. By the time they fell, your legs were threatening to do the same and only then did he scoop you up.

It was into his arms and you kicked out socked feet in glee as he carried you to bed. He perched you on the edge and the titillation pumped through your veins as he squatted in front of you. It sent you right back to imagery of your first night together and your inner muscles clenched onto that excitement.

“You are well aware of what we are about to get into.”

You nodded.

“Are you ready?”

“Very much so.”

“Show me, love.”

You gathered your knees and adjusted your positions. Already perched, you moved your pelvis forward as your shoulders came back. Your arms compensated for yet another lean, though this one was cushioned by a mattress. It read comfortable as your hands fisted the sheets and you split your legs to present for him.

He took you in with all his senses. It first came with the visual sight even though you could tell you were far from glistening. Excitement had only taken you so far, but he was completely enamored by your sex. He surveyed you with his exploding pupils before he reached, compelled. His warm finger skirted your outer lips and he pressed to see how engorged they were with blood. Arousal meant there was a heated layer and the cooler air of the room lapped at you in time with the way he licked his lips.

You rolled your hips eager and he lowered his head for his next sense. It was smell, and you’d grown accustomed to his scenting. He’d been sniffing you shamelessly in his daily examinations and it always looked to you like a master sommelier. His lips would part, letting the scent inhale deeply through his nostrils and cascade down his tongue. You imagined he picked up all sorts of notes that you couldn’t as he trended closer.

He breathed out then in and it was with one last striking whiff that nosed lightly at your clit. The tip of his beak invaded you for touch and your voice pitched behind warbled lips. He flicked a scolding glance up at you for trying to muffle your noises and when your mouth opened it was to breathily pant. He found that suitable and returned to his nosing. He was scenting, you could tell, but there was no snuffle. It was a slow and even thing meant to relish and, even though you couldn’t see him, you felt the moisture differently when his jaw parted.

You arched in time and met his tongue. A dainty tip, he mapped your folds first as if he didn’t already know your anatomy down to the cellular level. He gave a base level tasting lap and you whined at the lack of targeting. You watched his eyes surface in a rolling fashion and you frowned when you caught sight of him. He smiled against your cunt before pressing into your heat with his eyes still questioning you.

You mewled for him and it seemed like a satisfactory answer because he dove in. You puffed open relief as he licked into you with the accuracy you craved. He long knew exactly how to manipulate you on his tongue and you tossed your head back to give yourself over to him.

You jolted when he suddenly grabbed your feet.

In a tug, he used your surprise to throw you off balance and you fell onto your back. The bed was completely forgiving and you stared up at the canopy for exactly one second before his tongue shifted. He latched onto your clit in your toe tingling way and you barely cared he was still doing something to your feet. You imagined he was operating comical heavy machinery where the levers were your limbs because of the jarring push and pull of his movements.

His things swiped down and he hit some sort of pressure point in both your arches that ripped a moan from you. He slicked downward, dragging your growing wet on his tongue to taste and stimulate you. You squirmed, trying to get more, but he pushed your knees to fold. Your legs came, bent at the knee, and he shifted his weight to pour more over you. It pressed your thighs closer to your torso and you recognized the move even though it had been a long time since he last exercised it.

The mating press.

You chirped wanton for him at the thought and he churred straight into your sex at your revelation. You gave your mating call in aching need, but he demanded a bit more of you. It came with a swirling of his mouth and just enough suction that you could feel your insides weeping. The drip caused an audible pop when he unlatched that you could only hear as the final sense, sound, and he panted from what you imagined was a full assault of his senses. He then appeared, moving to stand in a growing form with your combined soaks painting his chin.

The moment he hit his full height was the same time you saw the bob of his cock. It bounced with him and hung a flag over your sex. You heaved a single time at the sight of it and were struck with one single thought:

This was going to get you pregnant.

A mating call warped off your lips before another slammed it out of the way. You couldn’t stop yourself as it sounded again and again on what hit your ears as a nagging repeat. The pitch was off and feral like a cat in heat. You ached for him, head lifting in the process and he only stared at your wanting form.

“D-Donnie…!” You finally managed amongst his seeming neglect. “P-please!”

He nodded and swept over you in what felt like a final moment.

Like you’d never be like this again.

Like something monumental was about to shift.

He then lowered enough to scoop up under your ass and scoot you forward. It made room for his knees and you continued to call out to him. He shushed you with a sharp mating response of his own and you bit down on your lip to try to stave off more. He was taking too long in his adjustments, but you knew there was purpose. You knew first hand how precarious the position could be. Your body was fully trapped beneath his while also being folded. It contracted and compressed your very being, but also made it so his pelvis could be aimed above yours. It also meant you had a full view of how his cock dangled down, scorched and ready to sear you.

Your vision honed in on the glisten of his member and trailed down where his tip pearled a perfect bead of pre.

Another mating call wormed up your throat which was decimated into a squeak as he pressed his glans to you. The heat felt like a boiling threat and you waited for him to plunge. Instead he continued to cater to his alignment before he rolled his hips so his cock ran against you. On your back and neck twisted in a position to view him, you saw his glans face you before they rolled backwards in their stroke. The oar of them flared there, returned once again, and then disappeared to catch your hole.

You wanted to sob at the torturous pace, but he so close.

“Please!” You shouted in spite of yourself.

He didn’t respond at all and only focused on a testing press.

It wasn’t enough to breach you and you groaned as loud as you could.

He chirped lightly, something faint and weary that you couldn't think much on before he wound upwards once and then descended.

Your eyes flew open and you watched as each delicious centimeter of him sank into your cunt. There was a pulse to your lips that marked the spread and soak as they peeled apart to grant him entry. He disappeared further, feeding into you and beading up your discharge. It cropped a creamy spill that pressed out at his size and clung around your entrance waiting for further use. His member widened, spreading toward the base of the knot and you saw the stretch of your lips grow taut.

He was then fully sheathed after what felt like hours and your head fell back. You panted lightly, all a mental exertion and felt sweat dot your brow. You were rushing, you knew. It was the incessant need and the many years built up to this moment. As he held in place, you saw all the rushing times you’d tried to devour each other. This wasn’t that and spoke to something far deeper. It roused you to be more present and you found him trying to look at your connection. His proportions meant he couldn’t and he lifted his head with the intent of a question pouring off him.

He wanted to know what it was like and you told him that it was quite the view. He churred a vibration that you felt dip inside you. You willed him to know that more would be better and he agreed to pull back the slightest amount. Your cunt clung to him, eager lips dragging against his length and each and every vein in an attempt to keep him. He barely made it a few inches before he plunged back in as if he couldn’t stand the cold room temperature. You chuckled at the thought of that sort of cockwarming and he probed your depths in interest at your laugh.

You almost responded until his ministrations found what he was looking for.

You then only gasped in pleasure and the cage of his body finally fell. He met you in a scoop of limbs and you pulled him closer. Your hips cried at the weight, but he rocked in a gentle massaging gesture. It eased the tension and his lips found yours with a roll of his tongue. He tasted and smelled like you.  Intoxication clouded your mind and you now, finally this moment, would be the time he'd give way to fuck you.

You broke your lip lock to pepper excitement across his face. He scrubbed into it, his beak moving side to side to catch all your little pecks. He tittered in a melodic chirp and joy caused your cunt to pulse. It warped a sound of almost paint off his lips and he melded your pelvises into a single shape as if to squash it.

“Not gonna last…” He whined suddenly.

“That’s…” You spoke before you fully understood his words.

How was that possible? 

He hadn't thrusted even once. 

He held deathly still and you moved your neck to view him.

Humiliation painted his feature and he would have tucked himself away if he could.

Sense exploded past your horny thoughts for the first time. 

He had showed all the signs. 

That's why he'd been anxious at the door. 

That's why he hadn't rushed to fuck you. 

That’s why he had been going so slow.

It wasn’t just to mark the occasion. 

It wasn't because he feared his ferality.

It was a startling amount of awareness that threatened him.

As much as you did, he knew what today was and what it meant. 

It made him so consciously excited that it went straight to his head.

He had been trying to stave off losing himself in a totally new way. 

An excited noise hummed in your throat.

He saw your glee and wilted against it.

“N-no!” You nudged him with your nose. “That’s good!”

“No.” He bit back.

“Yes.” You disagreed and extracted an arm from the tangle.

You found his cheek and he soured as there was an inherent movement that bobbed his cock.

“I can count the amount of times you’ve gotten close to cumming before me on one hand.”

He glared at you as if you’d pointed out his greatest failures.

You lightly pinched his cheek. “You’re so excited...”

He frowned deeply.

You kissed his relenting face. “I love you.”

“Please.”

“I do.” You pressed.

“Y/N.”

“How do my orgasmd work with conception again? I can't remember…” You absolutely did, but your partner was being too cute not to tease.

He ducked his head as much as he could.

You were too close for him to hide. “Donnie…?”

He grumbled something.

“What was that…?” You poked his cheek.

“It doesn’t…” He ground out.

“Then what’s the problem? I know you'll make me cum right after you do. Doesn’t it sound hot to pump your finger into me, push the cum deeper, until I’m writhing on it?”

He relented the smallest bit.

“I'm married to Donatello. Cumming is always a guarantee. It's like your customer satisfaction brand.”

“I wanted us together.”

“We can try… Has waiting helped?”

His grimace said not at all.

You moved your hips the slightest amount and the way his dropped to keep you still meant you felt exactly how he clenched to keep from cumming then and there.

“Oh yeah, you’re definitely cumming first.” You smiled.

His eyes closed, hopeless.

“You’re being a grump.” You kissed his cheek.

He let more of his body weight fall onto you in some sort of retribution, but you could only giggle.

“Come on…” You channeled as much energy as you could muster in your ass before you managed to flex.

Your innermost walls shifted around him and he gave a long sultry groan.

“That’s it…” You managed the same spasm with less effort.

He moaned your name.

“My sweet, sweet husband…” You encouraged, pulsing around him over and over.

“I’m going to…!” He panted.

“Go on. Fertilize me. I'm waiting.” You whispered against his head.

He exhaled sharply and you felt all of him twitch in one sharp movement. Where you hadn’t followed the trend of his spread or knot, they both seemed to inflate to their widest mass in a snap instant as he came. You felt each twitch of him as you weren’t in your throes. You pet his head before stroking  lower on his carapace to encourage him. You hit a spot that made him buck as he filled you deep.

He eventually breathed again, panting from having witheld, and rolled his head to the side to bump yours.

You rubbed his shell with a heavy hand.

He eventually churred at the feeling and lifted up to appraise you.

You smiled, ever ready for him.

His lids fell in a form of annoyance.

“I’m gonna make you cum until you beg me to stop.”

You pitched an excited noise as he yanked out of you. You felt his essence chase his cock and your limbs were released. You clenched immediately, trying to hold his seed in and he glimpsed the tightening of your sex as he climbed off the bed. 

His lips rounded and you saw focus slip from his gaze. You chose then to relax and the rebound flex of your walls squished out his spent. A tiny amount trickled against your labia and you heard Donnie gasp at the sight.

“Finally, right…?” You mused and assumed you were thinking the same thing.

You were finally stuffed with a potent load.

That chance of getting pregnant now existed.

You were both aiming to make it assured.

Donnie lurched forward and you readied yourself for his decree. He would make you cum. You imagined he would play out that scenario you had offered earlier and felt his cum drip to the swell of your ass.

That's where he would start, you thought. He would swipe it up expertly with those thick fingers of his and stuff the seminal fluid or whatever he had called it, back inside. He would then tease you until you were writhing.  

A tongue hit hot and wet against your ass cheek causing you to cry out your surprise. Your thighs were grabbed first before giving hands tucked under your body. He hoisted you up to meet his mouth as if there wasn't enough time for him to dip any lower.

Donnie swiped the trail of cum up and licked it straight back into you. His arms locked heavy around your body just in time for him to bury his snout hard into your sex, he breathed heavy desperation as his canines grazed your labia. Your voice hit a near painful pinch and you fought against the onslaught with grabbing hands.

You caught his mask in the fumble and pulled it so the back half lifted and the front blocked his vision. “What are you doing?!”

He sucked hard and you spasmed.

“Ah! Donnie-!” You meant to say more, but he let one of your legs drop to his shoulder so his thumb could strike your clit.

It was flint to steel, the sparks ignited and you cried his name in a new tone. It was no longer a question, but a burning desire. He slurped down noisily and the noise hit your ears to stoke. You were inflamed, rising up further than he was holding you as pressure dipped in and outward in tandem. His thumb swirled loose and comfortable against the slick and he routinely bumped his own nose.

His tongue traveled deep, seeking further in you than ever before and it marked a widening of his jaw. You felt the whole of his mouth encompass you until it pushed even his hand away. His teeth scraped over your punished clit and you screamed out as it sent you over.

It burned you to a white host crisp and the flames engulfed your vision. He pressed forth, seeking to destroy what was already ash on the ground. With one leg still over his shoulder, you snapped a heel down hard in hopes of stopping the siege. Your foot snagged one of his carapace injuries and scrape was enough for him to grunt free.

Knowing he'd lock back on, you bucked hard in your freedom and pelvic thrusted into his beak. It loosened his grip and you slid back to the bed. He held your single leg to his chest as a lifeline while you scrambled to slip your hands into your abused cunt. You did a quick check for blood as his teeth had been piercing. As far as you could tell it was clear from injury, but you glowered up at your mate.

“What was that!? You ate it?!”

He was the portrait of a captured criminal.

His mask was also still comically out of place and you tore it off him to wipe your hands. “What happened?”

He gave a pitiful chirp.

You swatted him with the wetted cloth.

He squirmed in a way that said its feeling repulsed him.

“Donatello!”

“As you’d expect!” He finally animated. “That I finally had a chance! That what was leaking from you had potential!”

“So you suck the potential out of me?!”

“The sperm is unaffected! You referenced the science prior!”

Your eyes flashed. “And I know it! Are you still mad because I didn’t listen one time?!”

“You act as though I insinuated such!”  

“Didn’t you?!” You stared him down ready to catch the slightest warp in his expression.

He matched you.

You stood off against each other for several seconds before you deferred.

You then both sat in an awkward heap where you were still spread and he was only half on the bed.

Donnie was the first to move.

“May I?” He asked with lowered lids.

You nodded, granting his request, whatever it was.

He was slow in skimming over you and making his journey known. He moved toward the apex between your legs and you presented for him. He took your willingness in with an emotionally wounded gaze that said he didn’t believe he deserved the kindness. You kneed his chin gently as soon as he was within range. 

“It's okay…” 

He wasn't as sure yet and only kissed the cap before shimmying downward until he was on his knees off the bed. He leaned forward, his face to your sex, and you felt him looking you over.

You knew he was checking for injury just as you had and he affirmed your health with a kiss to your clit. The sensitive bud felt tender, but his warmth came away like a balm. You exhaled slow and steady until he reappeared at your side. You squirmed further up the bed and he laid down beside you. You immediately glued yourself to him, cuddling close and leaning up for a kiss. He appraised you once before meeting you and it took several until he relaxed.

“Does that consumption offend you as well?”

You chuckled against him. “No, it just felt a little like a slight. Like you just filled me and you took it right away.”

He eyed you and you could feel his scientific correction was looming.

You pushed his plastron. “You know what I’m saying.”

His eyes closed and he shrugged as he did.

“It wasn't what I was expecting, but it wasn't bad. You surprised me.” You held your hand firm to his pectoral scute and flexed your fingers out. “As usual…” 

His body went a certain slack.

“We done for tonight…?”

He didn’t move as far as you could tell.

“It’s alright if so… I know that whole ‘make me cum until I beg’ line was you trying to make up for cumming too fast.”

His lip twitched.

“It’s really okay. You lost two kinds of control. That's gotta be overstimulating. I just want to set my expectations.”

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?” You pressed him.

“Look down.”

Your gaze plummeted southward on contact. 

All that was there was the mattress and your forearm resting atop sheets where it acted as a bridge between your bodies.

You heard a puff of laughter.

Your gaze shot right back up to see him trying to control giggles.

“I did what you said! Why are you-?!”

He couldn’t manage words and joy crinkled his gaze. 

He bobbed and bubbled until he got enough control to flick his pupils down the length of his body. You made a little irritated sound and embarrassment tried to form a complaint on your lips.

He had to cover his mouth. “My mistake. Please look easterly.”

You glowered at him once before glaring in that direction which led down his plastron.

It was the landing strip leading to his pointed purple member. His cock stood at full mass and its pink base had a redder tint than usual. That was typically a shade you only saw during his heat when his member wasn't able to return to the safety of his body. It was nowhere near Donnie’s season which meant instead his erection had persisted. 

The reason for which shot straight to your core. “O-Oh…!”

“It hasn’t gone down since we began…” He managed with a weary tone.

“But you came…?” You reached for his cock and it twitched away once before you made contact.

“As you stated, I am entirely too excited…”

You soothed his glans with a stroke.

They undulated under your grip, starving.

“So…?” That latent heat glowed in your cheeks, still smoldering.

“I can't predict when it'll go down.”

“Will you cum just as fast?” You felt excitement manifest as stars in your eyes.

His expression flattened out a bit. 

“I want you to.” You tinged your words with those ever present embers. “Cum again and again. I want to wring you dry. We’ll go until it calms down.”

He flushed at how eager you were.

“Just promise I can keep it this time.” You pleaded.

“So you do find cum eating offensive.” His attempt at distracting you from his unease was too obvious. 

You shoved him over onto his carapace and mounted him before he could protest.

“Wait-!” He tried to grab your hips.

“Nope. My terms now. You will-” You commanded, got yourself lined up, and sank down his length. “-cum.”

You felt his cock explode on contact with your heat.

“Oh fuck…!” You ground down on his ejaculate.

Donnie whined something high pitched before his throat eked out, “Sworn! No stopping! You call out tomorrow!”

You squealed happily as he rolled your conjoined bodies over to finally fuck you in earnest.

-

You were slow in opening the bathroom door.

It had been hard enough to muster up the energy for you to grab the handle.

Now that you had swiveled it and the mechanism had pulled the bolt back, it felt like painful irony.

One door led to another.

You saw the creak of space that led to your bedroom and with it came the heavy heart.

This was the transition point.

You stepped forward and felt the cotton between your legs.

It was another tangible omen.

It would disappear in time, but for now you were hyperaware.

The aptly named period product marked an end and was sopping up your failure.

One dark red drip at a time.

You walked out to where Donnie was already standing.

You’d left him sitting on the couch.

What had found him first?

The scent or your abysmal feelings through your wedding band?

You didn’t care because either way he knew and as your foot lifted for the next step, he was meeting it with his.

You reached one another, but didn’t connect.

You had to address it.

You stared down at your three feet and one prosthetic.

“Could it… be the implantation bleed?” You whispered as quietly as you could.

It would rob the words of their strength.

Without power, maybe you could convince them otherwise.

You could manifest them into the outcome you wanted and not the one that wasted seven days of trying.

Eighteen days since Donnie had made the calendar.

Twenty-seven days since your new menstrual cycle started.   

Except today it reset to one.

“There… is… a chance…?” Donnie tried, his voice as soft as yours.

You both met each other’s eyes in time.

You knew the truth then.

You hadn't gotten pregnant this cycle. 

These were only words.

It was the same as before.

Nothing had changed.

Not yet. 

1.73%.

💜 NEXT 💜

My body aches today, but my heart always aches with thanks for my betas @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

[ask-the-becile-boys]

Epilogue, Part 1 of 2

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[ID: Nineteen digitally sketched panels in black and white. Some panels do not have anti-aliasing, making the lines more pixelated.]

[Panel 1: White text on black background reading, "Call connecting (ellipses)"]

[Panel 2: View from a webcam of Scratch adjusting its angle, with SFX: -fidget-. Scratch has different prosthetics now, including a more robust left arm, a proper left eye, a nose and mouth, and a neck vent with a circular mark on it. He is smiling and looks less tired than before At the bottom of the screen is a name plate like the ones present in video chat programs, reading 'Royce Ellis (he/him).' He wears a Walter Robotics t-shirt reading 'WR']

[Panel 3: No anti-aliasing. A shot of the top of a picnic table. At the bottom of the screen the name plate reads "Riker Szarka (he/him)." Riker says from off panel, "(em-dash) oh! It came through! Can you hear us, Scratch?"]

[Panel 4: Panel is split diagonally. In the top left, Scratch smiles and says out loud, "Video's a little grainy, but I can hear you!" In the bottom right, Riker, in pixelated lines with name plate, says, "Eh, best we can do with rest stop Wi-Fi."]

[Panel 5: Scratch narrates in white text outlined in black: "It's been a few months since the Beciles left town." Scratch in the present sits at his computer desk, hands folded over his stomach. We can see that he now also has a robust prosthetic right lower leg. He says, "I guess that means you finished your contract in Chicago?" Narration continues at the bottom: "They like to check in every other week or so."]

[Panel 6: Riker sits at the picnic table, looking into his phone in his hands. Dee is barely visible sitting on his far side from the viewer. The Skull stands at the end of the table looking at a map. Narration from Scratch says, "Riker's working a little, when he can." Riker says,"Yeah. We would've stayed longer, but we weren't makings ends meet. I got something lined up near Baltimore, though."]

[Panel 7: No anti-aliasing as Riker turns his phone to point at The Skull, who continues looking at the map (labeled 'Map'). Riker's name plate is present. Riker says from off panel, "We're gonna detour toward the Appalachias. The Skull wants to try and jog his memories like Hare and Jack." Scratch asks from off panel, "Is anyone else up?" The Jack says from off panel, "We're all here!"]

[Panel 8: Narration from Scratch: "The Jack gets more confident every time they call." Hare yawns (SFX: all caps -yawn-). No anti-aliasing, Riker's name plate present. The Jack sits smiling, wearing a T-shirt that reads 'cubs' in all caps. Hare has an eye patch riveted over his missing right eye. The Jack says, "Hare and I are just awake for the call. It's The Skull's turn to ride up front."]

[Panel 9: No anti-aliasing, Riker's name plate present. The Skull finally looks up and says, "Plan is for me to drive once we're off the highway. The straight roads through the cornfields are good for practice." Hare smirks and says, "Lord knows you need it, leadfoot. How's that impossible metal stuff treating you, Scratch?"]

[Panel 10: Scratch smiles brightly and says, "It's light! I feel a lot better without so much weight to carry around." The Jack asks from off panel, "Did Mr. Walter retune your elec (ellpises) electro (ellipses)" Scratch says, "Electrolarynx. Yeah! I still mostly sign in person, but it's handy for video calls like this or for phoning in to work."]

[Panel 11: No anti-aliasing. The Skull lowers his brows sternly. Narration from Scratch: "The Skull still worries a lot, but he seems more at ease with himself." The Skull asks, "He's not tying your upgrades to your work, is he? No holding back on maintenance if you don't behave?"]

[Panel 12: Shot of Scratch's new left arm gesturing calmly. He says, "Not at all. Everything is covered by Walter Robotics. We're even discussing a slight pay raise now that I'm past probation!"]

[Panel 13: No anti-aliasing, Riker's name plate present. Narration from Scratch: "Hare has matured… just a little." The Jack says excitedly, "That's great!" Hare grins and says, "If only we'd known remote work was so flush when you lived with us!" Scratch says from off panel, "Well, selling Becile Industries' secrets was a good foot in the door."]

[Panel 14: No anti-aliasing, Riker's name plate present. Dee sits, looking at an e-Reader. Tatters sits on the table top by her hands, wearing a cat harness and leash. Hare says from off panel, "Psst, Dee. Say hello." Dee says flatly, "Hello." Scratch's narration: "Dee is still adjusting. But they're giving her time."]

[Panel 15: Same shot. Tatters looks over at something, her ears and whiskers perking up. Hare says from off panel, "We can't pull her away from that e-reader thingy you sent her. Once she got those library cards on it, it was all over."]

[Panel 16: No anti-aliasing, Riker's name plate present. Hare folds his arms on the table and looks to the side, asking, "(ellipses) Say, uhh. Did Rabbit get my last postcard?"]

[Panel 17: Profile shot of Scratch, looking relaxed. Narration reads: "For all that Locksmith tried to destroy us (ellipses)" Scratch says in the present, "She did. The 'bots were asking after you guys, actually. Could you send me a group photo to show them?"]

[Panel 18: Narration: "I think being forced to let go helped us in the end." No anti-aliasing, Riker's name plate present. Riker looks down at the camera and says, "I should be able to screenshot something here (ellipses) Huddle up, guys!"]

[Panel 19: Tall panel. Narration: "Things might not be easy. Change still hurts. But the shadows are just a little bit lighter." Riker holds up his phone at arms length in front of him, back to the table. Dee looks over; The Skull leans in, slightly smiling; Hare and The Jack stand to get into frame, both grinning, Jack flashing a peace sign. Tatters looks mischievous off to the side. The narration finishes: "And the Becile Bots are doing just fine." End ID]

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

Had the world's dumbest fight with my boss and the guy at work I hate.

He was handling our captioning system last week. There is a time limit the caption supervisor works under because the show airs not long after we record.

So every week, I put out a 3-tier list. Tier 1 is literally just get the names right. Tier 2 is get organization names. Tier 3 is get it all. Accuracy depends on how fast the person editing captions is (we use an automated captioning system and then a certain position has to edit it for accuracy).

The fight happened over someone's name.

Let's say the name is Jane McExample.

The guy I hate, and my boss, thought it was stupid that they have to make sure it says McExample instead of Mcexample. Especially since there are name fonts that pop up on screen sometimes saying "MCEXAMPLE" (since we do names in all caps)

Guy I Hate: It's a waste to do McExample instead of just Mcexample. Me: The system doesn't get the name right anyways, correct? Guy I Hate: Yeah. Me: So it literally takes no different amount of time to write McExample instead of Mcexample. What's the issue? Boss: Well, since we're writing it all caps there, why does it have to be capitalized that way (McExample) when it's not upper case? Me: Because uppercase means uppercase, it's a special term for when things are uppercase. When they're normal, they're normal. And that name is spelled McExample. The capitalization is part of the correct spelling. Guy I Hate: But you're willing to put it in all caps there so why does it matter if I put it Mcexample? Boss: Yeah. Me: Because uppercase is uppercase and what you're arguing is how it is spelled. On legal documents, it is McExample. It's one of those funny names that gets 2 capital letters because that's how it is spelled. Boss: But we're willing to ignore that for uppercase, so we shouldn't have to do anything special for lowercase. Me: Are you doing the whole name lowercase? Boss: Of course not. Me: Then again... you're arguing spelling. Guy I Hate: I say I should be allowed to type it however I want, and I say Mcexample is fine. Boss: I agree. Me: *done with this whole stupid convo* Okay. *goes out to the studio* Me: Hey Jane? Jane: Yeah? Me: They've decided your name on caption fonts will be Mcexample instead of McExample. Jane: *a very cranky attorney you avoid talking to because she can be very mean, standing up to go fight* LIKE HELL IT IS.

I lovingly refer to this as the "grenade lobbing" method. If they think it's stupid to properly write a name- which again takes NO ADDITIONAL TIME TO GET RIGHT- then they can fight her.

This is all part of the Guy I Hate still fighting tooth and nail to make captioning part of *my* job and not his job. The reason it's part of his job is that otherwise he would sit on his ass for 2 hours while I edit captions, waiting for me to be done so he can export the show with the proper coding and send it to various broadcast platforms.

So I made that part of his job, since he'd be the one sitting around until it was done anyways.

But he wants ME to do it, when my job ends the minute the show is over, and I'm still in 4 hours before him every show doing pre-production.

*also noting that there is a man on the show called O'Example and they have no issues getting his name right*

[callmewrinkles3]

Message In A Bottle - DR3 x fem!OC

Masterlist

Summary: After Dan lets something slip in their phone call after FP2 in China, Em makes a split second decision to make sure he’s ok. Three flights later it’s worth every moment of it.

Warnings: Smut (18+ only!).

Word count: 8.6k

A/N: We know that 2022 won the poll, but we have been working on this one for quite a while!

April 2019

The alarm at one fifty in the morning was too loud as Em hit her phone to switch it off, rolling over to pick the offending object off the nightstand. If anyone had ever told her that she would be willingly awake so she could watch cars do a Formula One practice at two in the morning she’d call them a liar, but there she was. She dragged herself to the couch with her phone in one hand and a blanket in the other to create a cocoon to watch practice from.

She kept a look out for Dan’s yellow and black car, watching him take the track with ease. Her nerves were still high, she couldn’t forget how he looked when he’d DNF’d in Australia, and then the sadness in his voice when she called after the Bahrain race. She’d wanted to be there with him, but she couldn’t justify the cost of flights and it fucking sucked. Em missed her boys and the three weeks they’d been apart so far had been fucking awful. And it was nearly another week until she’d arrive in LA to go to Coachella with Dan.

Seeing Dan finish the practice near the top of the timings made her smile, and she texted a selfie of her face in the dark room along with a well done, proud of you to him. Watching him do media in that stupid yellow cap made her grin to see an actual smile on his face for the first time in weeks. Almost everything to do with Dan made her smile if she was honest and she couldn’t help it. Once he was on her screen she hit send on the text, watching as the moment his phone vibrated in his pocket he stilled for a millisecond. She could see how his expression and body language changed. For nearly anyone else it would have been unnoticeable, but Em wasn’t just anyone. Ten minutes later she had a response.

You were watching? It’s three in the fucking morning baby girl.

I couldn’t miss you driving.

Instead of another text as a response her phone buzzed with a call, Dan’s grin filling her screen. She answered, determined to keep happy with him.

“Hey Handsome, well done!” She said as Dan let out a sigh.

“Thanks. I…yeah. At least we finished. We made it through the practice and neither engine broke down.” There was no sassy reply, no silly comment, no nickname. It was worrying.

“Dan, you can’t perform miracles when the car is still developing. You were ahead of Pierre, you were barely behind Max. You beat Nico. You’re getting everything you can out of this car already. The points are coming, Babe, I promise.”

“Yeah.” He sounded dejected and she wanted to wipe his frown away. Dan’s face should never have a frown on it, he was built to smile. “I just miss you. Can you please just come out? Never mind, it’s stupid. Forget I said anything. It’s too fucking far away, I hate being thousands of miles away.”

It was the disappointment in his voice that made her make a split second decision.

“Dan…”

“Look, I have to go, we’ve got an engineering briefing and Mike wants to do some stretching. I’ll talk to you soon.”

He hung up without saying goodbye and that’s when Em knew just how bad it was. Her encouragement had helped him before in Melbourne, it had helped when they FaceTimed after the race in Bahrain, but this time it did nothing.

She checked the time - quarter to four in the morning. She could do this. Daniel deserved the effort. It took fifteen minutes to change, pack a backpack with some clothes, and order a taxi that was waiting outside her flat to bring her to Heathrow. The driver thought she was crazy with just her carry on, asking her questions.

“Where are you off to then, Luv?” He wondered, a proper Cockney accent asking questions.

“Last minute trip to China. A friend needs me.”

“Without a suitcase?”

“If I spend the time to pack I won’t make it in time. All I need is some clothes and I can sort everything else when I’m there.”

“Must be a really important friend for you to do a trip like this.” He smiled as he looked at her through the rear view mirror. Em just nodded, not really sure what to say.

She made it to the Hainian Air ticket counter and handed over her credit card to pay the disgustingly expensive ticket charge. It was about to wipe out most of her savings but seeing Dan’s face when she got in would be worth it. Before she boarded her first flight - the first of three because ew - she called Blake.

“Hey Ems, can I call you back? I’m about to go into a meeting.”

“I won’t be able to answer. Is Dan there?”

“No. What’s going on?” Her neighbour sounded confused and she grinned, half listening to the announcement that her flight would board shortly.

“I need you to organise a car to meet me in Shanghai International at ten fifteen in the morning to bring me to the track.”

“Ems. What the fuck?”

“I’m waiting to board my flight, I get into Shanghai in the morning. Blake he called me and he needs me. He’s not okay. So I’m about to get on a plane and I’m coming straight to the track. Can you get me a pass so I can get in?”

“Consider it done. You’re insane. You know that?”

“You adore me anyway.”

“Damn right I do, TimTam. I’ll book the car and make sure Dan doesn’t know. Text in between your flights?”

“Gotcha. And thanks. I’ve gotta go, we’re boarding.”

The fact that Blake didn’t argue with her meant that she was doing the right thing. Michael was the optimist in their group, he was the one who insisted everything would turn out great at all times. Meanwhile Blake was the realist. It was part of his job as Dan’s manager. He was realistic and honest and blunt when he needed to be. It was part of why she adored him so much. This had to be a good thing.

If you asked Em exactly what she did on her layovers she couldn’t tell you. The one in Brussels was long, eating breakfast and people watching to get her through it. It was getting to evening in Shanghai and she wanted to be as on time as she could be. The main thing she did was cancel her flight to LA for Coachella. This trip was wiping her out enough, the festival wasn’t happening. Maybe next year she could do it. At least the BA flight was the refundable option, it’d cover part of the cost of her flight to China.

The final thing before boarding the flight to Beijing was texting Dan that she was in client meetings all day and wouldn’t be able to talk to him, but good luck for FP3 and she’d try to call him before qualifying. On board the flight Em just tried to sleep for most of it. It was ten hours long and she spent most of it with a crappy pillow behind her head and thin blanket over her lap thanks to the broken sleep the night before. The food wasn’t great but it wasn’t the worst, and she forced down the breakfast they gave her. Nerves made it hard to eat, so nervous about seeing Dan. Would he actually be happy to see her? She hoped so. He said he wanted her there, but it was easy to say that when she wasn’t able to actually get there.

When she arrived in Beijing and connected her phone to Wi-Fi there was a text from Dan saying he missed her. She couldn’t reply yet, UK Emmy should be in bed before getting up for FP3. The other texts were from Blake confirming that someone would be waiting for her at arrivals, and how to get her pass and where to go once she made it to arrivals. Passport control was a pain, but she made it through after some questions about the last minute booking and why Shanghai. Blake’s texts confirming the pass and photos of her at other races getting her through.

The long layover in Beijing gave her a chance to drink yet more coffee and eat some breakfast to prepare for the chaos that was about to ensue. The two hour long flight went by quickly, and once she was off the final plane for a few days she walked straight out into baggage claim to search for whoever from Renault got the task of picking her up. Instead of a driver or someone in a team shirt Blake stood there, a wide grin on his face as she hugged him.

“I figured it was easier to just pick you up myself. Remember when you said that I just needed to get you a pass for Melbourne? That you didn’t want to go  to any other flyaway races?” She laughed at his joking tone, watching as he took in her lack of luggage. “Where is everything?”

“If I packed I’d miss my flight. I’ll need to pick up something because I’ve just got a few tees and extra underwear, nothing else. How long will it take to get to the track?”

“I thought you’d want to go to the hotel?”

“If I get near a bed I’m falling asleep for the day, so track it is. How is he?”

“Honestly? Not great. Frustrated, he reminds me of the end of last year. 

Her heart broke at Blake’s words, thinking about the way Dan had nearly given up at the end of last year. They’d worked so hard to help him this year and if it didn’t work she didn’t know what they’d do. The hour drive to the circuit felt like a lifetime, Blake telling her to nap on the drive so she could see him when she got there. It was scanning her pass and going straight to the Renault garage, waving at the mechanics she’d met in Australia and nodding at Cyril, who had a wide smile when he saw her.

Practice was nearly over but she watched the end from his drivers room. The last thing she wanted was Dan seeing her in public, she wanted their reunion to be private. She knew everyone would keep that she was there a secret so it was safe until he came in. Instead she sat in the small room with the tiny tv, watching Dan’s car solidly in P13. It was only practice as she counted down, but she knew he’d be devastated by it. Hearing him over the radio asking where he was compared to Nico hurt her heart and she wanted to run down to the garage to see him. It might have been practice but things weren’t good at all for him.

The cameras were focused on Dan getting out of the car to talk to his engineer, flashing a wide grin at the lenses. She could tell it was fake as soon as she saw it, his eyes not lit up like usual. All Em wanted to do was run down to him and wrap him in her arms, but she couldn’t save him from the media questions. She muted the tv as media rounds began, wanting to see his face but not listen to him blame himself. A couple more minutes and he could relax and be himself, she could hold him and be held by him and have that reminder that people cared about him for so many more reasons than just being a driver. They could hide from the world until his engineering meeting, and she’d stand in the garage to watch him in qualifying.

They cut from the interview with Daniel and her phone buzzed from with a text from Mike to bring her back to reality. As she opened her messages one from Dan came in, asking if she was watching. A quick I’ll talk to you in 5 xx was enough to stop him from calling her straight away, her message from Michael a warning that Dan was on his way back. 

She hated keeping anything from him, hated that she’d told him a lie that she was busy with clients and time zones so she couldn’t talk to him while she was flying. Lying to Dan just felt so, so wrong. She’d never drawn that line between them. From the moment they started texting she always answered the phone when Dimples called her. There’d been too many talks when they were on opposite sides of the world for her not to, too many times she’d gotten a call where she’d answer with sleep thick on her voice and he’d immediately curse and try to do timezone maths. For a man who knew so much about engineering and the physics of airflow, he couldn’t always do basic maths.

She sat there nearly vibrating with nerves and excitement as she heard three all too familiar Australian accents coming towards her. She didn’t know what they were talking about and she didn’t really care. If it was important she’d find out later, but Dan was right there and she’d get to see his big brown eyes in a moment. The door opened as Dan entered first. Blake and Michael grinned at her from behind him as Dan ranted before realising she was there.

“I know its a project but I don’t even know if I’ll finish the race. If I DNF tomorrow then I’m the first to do that since 2017. Another one in Baku and I’m the first to do that since Alonso and Sainz in 2015. It’s so… Emmy?”

Dan turned around and finally saw her sitting there with a smile on her face. His own lit up as he realised it was actually her, coming across the small room to pull her into a hug. His arms wrapped around her waist and shoulders as she pulled him in tightly, their height difference coming into play. She didn’t care that he was in his sweat soaked nomex fireproofs, that he smelled of sweat and fuel and rubber. Dan was there and she was there and despite the cost and hardship this hug was so worth it.

“You’re here?” He asked, barely more than a whisper.”

“Hi, Babe.” She smiled as she leaned against his body wile speaking so lowly that nobody else could hear her. There were times when she was sure that despite being a grown man, a professional athlete, Dan was so fragile that if she spoke too loudly he’d break. This felt like one of those times.

“What are you doing here?”

It broke her heart to take her hands from around his body but she knew he needed to look at her. His hands didn’t release her, just arms extending to give her space. The only real movement he made was to cup her cheek with his right hand, his thumb running along the soft skin.

“You asked me to come, so here I am.” She shrugged casually, acting as if crossing half the world in less than a day to see him was the most normal thing she could do in the world. Even in the surreal universe Dan lived in it wasn’t, but the awe on his face was so worth it. “And I know you’re going to say it so no, I can confirm you didn’t crash and hit your well protected head very hard. You’re not hallucinating. I’m really here. I’m real and a mess and I’ve spent too many hours on too many planes, but I’m real.”

He pulled her body against his before she could even think about it. It was the tightest hug she thought he’d ever given her, even closer than their first hug, but she wasn’t complaining about it. Em had taken three flights and dealt with awkward border patrol just so she could get a hug exactly like this one, so she held on and hugged him back. What she didn’t expect was Daniel to hide his face against her neck like a shy kid. She definitely didn’t expect to feel him place a soft kiss against her neck or his hands running up her back under her shirt as if his life depended on it, memorising every square millimetre of skin. As she felt him squeeze her tighter she just held him closer, ignoring the sweat and grime that would usually make her push him off.

“Thank you,” he whispered. It was so real and sincere that it broke her heart to hear him.

“You don’t need to thank me. I missed you too,” Em confessed. Saying it twice in twenty four hours was a lot for them, but it felt right to get it off her chest. Dan deserved to know she missed him whenever they weren’t together. “But you need to get changed, Babe.”

“What, do I stink too much?”

“Not as much as I do after travelling, but you have your engineering debrief. Go and I’ll have your lunch when you get back.”

She tried to ignore the disappointed whine Dan let out from the back of his throat. She ignored it the same way she ignored the exasperated breath he always released just before letting her go. She knew that little breath the same way she knew the back of her hand or the tattoos covering his thigh.

It was his little “I don’t want to do this” complaint. She’d heard it so many times before, especially early on dark mornings when he had to leave the comfort of her bed and the warmth of her body against his. It was the same little breath before his inevitable “I wish I could stay” when he had to go back to his hotel room alone instead of falling asleep with her in his arms. It was the same breath he let out when they had their final hug in an airport before she got on a flight to London and he flew to wherever the next race was, even though they just wanted to stay together.

This breath was exactly the same, but instead of letting her go so she could catch a plane, he was the one who had to leave to go to work.

“Are you having lunch with me?” He asked, looking down at her face and moving her hair from her shoulder.

“If you want me to.”

“I always want you to. And I can smell you, you don’t stink.” Dan grinned, stroking her cheek with his thumb and making her smile.

“I really do. I need to steal your deodorant. And maybe one of your shirts. I sort of didn’t pack anything to make my flight.”

“Whatever you want, it’s yours. But I do have a price. And it’s kind of expensive…”

Em didn’t need to be able to read minds to know what Daniel wanted. More than eighteen months of knowing him and almost a year of sleeping with him was enough for her to know his mind perfectly. She didn’t need to ask permission to put her hand on the back of his neck, push up on her tiptoes and meet him halfway to push their lips together. It had been more than three weeks since she’d seen him and she had no intention of flying home without at least one kiss. Even if all she’d gotten was a goodbye one. Blake and Michael had left the room when they were hugging and Em was so glad. She didn’t intend to have a full make out session right there in the middle of the room when she knew Dan needed to get ready and leave, but the second he deepened the kiss she was lost.

She missed this so much. She missed his kisses, the feeling of their tongues touching and the taste of his lips. She missed feeling him smile against her lips. She missed how his hands roamed her body like he was trying to remember every single inch of her even though he knew her by heart now. She missed tangling her fingers in his messy curls, the way he’d moan at the sensation and pull her even closer to him. She missed how he made her lose the entire concept of time because there was nothing better than Dan and being together.

She missed the way her lips turned red and tender thanks to stubble burn that matched the inside of her thighs, the way just that sensation could turn her on. She missed the wetness between her legs that appeared as if by magic when he touched her, and his cocky grin when she begged him to touch her because she was so desperate. She missed the butterflies in her stomach making a mess so big that she would come close to saying out loud what she’d barely admitted to herself. That she’d blurt out he was the best she’d ever had. The best sex, the best kisses, the best man she had opened her heart to and he’d made a home in it.

“Is that enough?” She asked while her lips still touched hers even as she spoke, trying in vain to hide the smile he’d put on her face. He didn’t need to answer, it wasn’t enough. It was never enough for Daniel and she was so thankful for that because it was never enough for her either. Dan reached to kiss her again, running the top of his tongue against her lower lip, making her moan softly as he did. They stayed like that for longer than they should have until logic came roaring back to Em’s brain and she finally broke their kiss.

“You need to go.”

“Just another minute?”

“I’ll be right there with the boys waiting for you, ok? It’s not like I can go anywhere until I work out how I’m getting home. I’ll see you after your debrief for lunch.” She pecked his lips once before moving away.

“Monday is gonna be a fun day for us, yeah?”

“Go!” 

She left the room with one of Dan’s spare tees in her hand, along with a stick of deodorant. Michael pointed her to a bathroom so she could attempt to make herself look more human than she actually felt. A hair tie bunched the shirt at her hip instead of it being a dress, and she could act like she belonged in the paddock with her pass around her neck instead of just tagging along. Michael and Blake waited for her, walking across to Renault hospitality with her and ordering a caramel latte as she sat down.

“Lunch will be over in twenty, Dan should be back by then. Is he ok?” Michael asked, Em nodding as she took a sip of the drink.

“He’s doing better. We didn’t really have a conversation, I just let him get his feelings out. I thought that was more important. I promised him I’d be here for lunch.”

“Will caffeine get you through the day?” Blake asked and she shrugged.

“I think I got about six hours sleep on the flight? We left Brussels at two their time, so nine here. And arrived in Beijing at six in the morning. I’ll need chocolate and caffeine.” The three laughed, Mike putting a sponsor chocolate next to her coffee.

“It’s you, I figured you’d want some at the very least.”

“You know me too well, Mikey.”

Dan arrived as their lunches were being put on the table, sliding into the booth beside Em and hooking his foot around her ankle. His plate of meat and veggies looked unappetising to her, but Dan ate quickly while she picked at her chicken noodles.

“You ok?” He asked, Em nodding in response.

“Just tired. Food’s good though.” She made herself keep eating, letting the conversation and music wash over her as she did. She managed to finish the plate, following everyone back to the garage and standing in the back beside Blake. He handed her a set of black headphones with a silver Renault logo on one ear. The other had Emmy in small silver script. Em raised an eyebrow, Blake smiling at her expression.

“Dan wanted to make sure you could listen to his radio during qualifying and the race, no matter which ones you’re at. So he got you your own headphones.”

When Dan came down in his fireproofs with his race suit half done up he walked over to them, Em reaching out her arms for their hug. He pulled her close before they separated, doing up his suit and putting his helmet on.

“Go fast, Danny,” she whispered and saw his eyes crinkle in a grin, kissing the side of his helmet before he went back to the car and she stepped out from behind the tires to the viewing area. Nico was on his side of the garage getting ready and the last thing she wanted to do was get in anyone’s way.

If she was actually more awake and alert she’d have loved watching the different cars go past the garage. Since she’d met Dan she’d been to more races than she ever thought possible, and seeing the cars drive down the pit lane at slower speeds than on track hadn’t lost its shine. It was still weird to her that she was on nodding terms with multiple drivers, that she was on first name terms with a world champion. But there she was.

Seeing Dan’s name easily into Q2 made her grin, and the nail biting wait to see if he made it to Q3 was painful, but when he did it she squeezed Blake’s hand. It was the first time this season, but he was there. He was starting in the right half of the grid, the intense pride surging through her as she grinned.

Seeing him get to seventh and finish there at the end of qualifying? That was the icing on the cake. The garage celebrated the fourth row lockout for the team after a really solid qualifying performance. As Dan got out of the car he immediately made his way to them, wrapping them all in hugs. Em wanted to reach up and kiss him but they were in public, she couldn’t. It was a hug that lasted for slightly longer than appropriate, but neither of them could care.

They all agreed to head back to the hotel once Dan’s debrief was over, room service dinners and an early night. Tomorrow was too important to even think about staying for dinner in hospitality, sleep before the all important race the plan. Em could feel the exhaustion hitting her, a pilfered Red Bull from outside the energy station that she’d downed between two buildings barely helping her.

“Ems?” Blake asked, seeing how her steps had slowed.

“The jet lag just hit in full force. Ugh.”

“C’mon.” He went to put an arm around her shoulders but Dan got there first, slipping his arm around their waist as the four of them walked out. She was aware of the camera flashes going off but she didn’t care. It was hard enough to keep one foot going in front of the other. Once they were in the car she could hear the debate about where she was staying begin but she stayed out of it.

To her complete surprise it was Dan who won that debate. When he insisted Em should stay in his room because “it has two beds, it means nobody’s sharing a bed”, she thought he was joking. It was clearly an excuse made up for Michael and Blake to believe, but it worked because neither of them said anything about how bad an excuse it was. Friends could share rooms, it was more than fine. Just another little white lie that wouldn’t hurt anyone except Em every time she had to hear the word “friend” while Dan argued.

She pushed all that to one side as she walked down the long hallway of the hotel on their floor, Dan by her side. He had her backpack in one hand, his other one clasping hers tightly. She wasn’t letting herself overthink this. She wasn’t going to put words to her feelings because that was a dangerous road to go down. All she wanted was to lie in bed with Daniel, his arms around her and his lips pushing kisses to her forehead. Once that happened she’d be able to get a good nights sleep. It’d be even better if there were no clothes involved.

At least one part of her dream came true nearly immediately. As soon as the door was closed and the lock was flipped closed, Dan pulled her into a kiss. Their shirts were quickly removed, Dan pulling their bodies together with just her bra in between.

“So this room has two beds, huh? You always take the one by the window, want me to take the other one?” Emma joked, biting her lower lip in an attempt to hide the moan that she knew would leave her lips soon. Dan began pressing a series of kisses along her bare shoulder, reaching up the column of her neck and finishing at her earlobe as he began to speak.

“Nope. It was just a lame excuse to get you in my room. You’re crazy if you think I’m letting you sleep all the way over there,” he whispered in her ear, the shivers going all the way down her body from his lips barely touching her. It was the usual effect of his skin on hers. It happened every single time they were together, but after weeks apart it was always more intense.

“It’s not that far!”

“Too far for me.”

“But it looks comfy?” Em giggled while Dan lifted her and threw her onto the bed, crawling over her until his face was right in front of hers. She stared into his eyes as something in the air changed, Dan leaning down to kiss her. It was so soft it felt like either of them could break at any second, but when they separated he pulled her tightly to him. She knew this Dan. The one who was afraid she would disappear into thin air at any second. It wasn’t hard for her to realise he was still having a hard time comprehending she was right there in his arms.

“I’m real. I promise, Danny, I’m actually here. I’m not going anywhere, Baby,” she whispered, running her fingers through his messy curls and up and down the soft skin on his back. She’d do this all night if he needed the reminder that she was right there with him.

“You mean it?”

“Of course I do. I came all the way to China just to see you so you’re stuck with me. At least for the weekend.”

“More like the whole month. We can make arrangements for the whole year, you can come with us.” It was half pleading and part of her was screaming to say yes even though she knew it was impossible.

“Danny, Baby, you know we can’t. We both have to work, there’s enough going on. But I’m right here for this one, and all the European ones too. Plus you and me in Austin again. Ok?”

“Fine.”

After they ordered and ate their meals they spent the evening curled up in bed with Criminal Minds playing lowly on the tv. It was soft kisses and Em’s fingers running through his hair to make sure he was relaxed. Dan fell asleep holding on to her and Em smiled, more than content to sit there in the quiet.

She didn’t really sleep that night. She never did, really. Not the night before a race she was attending. She was always nervous and pent up, and this night was worse because of how she’d gotten there. Usually she’d be able to relax the week before and get extra sleep, but her change of plans meant she was running on near empty. But she dozed in Dan’s arms as he slept peacefully, and his sleep was the most important to her.

The next morning they woke up to a knock on the door and “Mr Ricciardo, your requests have arrived!”. It was time to get up anyway, their usual making out before getting up replaced with the start of a race day. Michael arrived with Dan’s breakfast - and a chicken and cheese omelette for Em that she yelled a thanks for - before leaving them to eat. As she took a forkful Dan handed over the bag from the hotel to her, watching as she pulled out the contents. Inside were three pairs of jeans, each looking like they’d fit her perfectly. Black skinny jeans, navy skinny jeans, and a pair of lighter blue slightly wider legged ones.

“Danny…”

“You got on a fucking plane to see me because I asked. You left everything behind to do this. The very least I can do is get you some fucking clothes when you didn’t even stop to pack for me.”

“I was going to find somewhere to get something.” She looked at the labels, spotting the brand. “You’re not even sponsored by Pepe anymore. What the fuck, Dan?”

“I know people. I know your sizes, and I know exactly how your waist and ass feel, denim or not. It was easy for me to get them and you need them, right? Please, Emmy. Just accept a present for once?”

“Fine.” She leaned against him before reaching up to kiss him in thanks. It still didn’t feel quite real to her, that her best friend and the guy who she slept with regularly would just do this for her.

They made their way to the circuit in a car together, passes around necks and Dan and Michael in their full black and yellow ensembles. They reminded her of bees, and she made Blake giggle by whispering it to them as they walked behind the others.

“Please say that to Cyril later.”

“Sure.”

Dan and Michael had to disappear for meetings and race planning so Em sat across from Blake in hospitality, pulling out her iPad to get an hour or two of work in. A couple of clients had sent things while she was in the air and at the circuit, so she got to work transcribing what she could when the noise wasn’t too bad or editing the templates they’d sent.

“Nico, hey.” She lifted her head from the screen to see Dan’s teammate sit beside them, the blond man taking the seat next to her.

“Em, right? Dan’s…friend?” His tone was strange but she ignored it, closing her email to actually talk to him and be friendly.

“Yeah, we’re friends. We met through Blake actually. Sorry I didn’t say hi to you yesterday, it was busy. I’m sorry about Bahrain, it was tough on the team.”

“Thanks. You’re only here for qualifying and the race?”

“Yeah.” She smiled apologetically, gesturing to the tablet in front of her. “I had to work until my flight out, have to do some while I’m here too. But it’s worth it to see the race and cheer Dan and you on.”

“Oh,” The word seemed filled with more than two letters could hold. She knew why she was there, she knew Dan wanted her to be there. She could ignore his teammate and be polite when she needed to be. It was fine.

“Ems, formation lap and the race are starting soon. Want to head in the garage?” Blake stood and pushed his chair in.

“Perfect.” She smiled at Nico as she stood, Blake escorting her into the garage as they showed their passes. “What was that for?”

“No idea. Ignore him, that’s what I do.” She laughed and made her way to Dan’s drivers room as Michael was leaving.

“He’s got a minute.”

When she knocked and entered Dan had his headphones on, bouncing to a song, but as soon as he saw her they moved to around his neck.

“Having fun?” He asked with a smirk.

“Yeah, I am.” Em grinned, pulling him into a hug. “Drive fast, be safe, and I’ll see you at the checkered flag.” She pushed a kiss to his cheek for good luck, Dan pulling her into a proper kiss for the briefest of moments.

“I haven’t seen it yet this season.”

“You called me your lucky charm, remember?” His fingers traced over the planchette tattoo on her inner arm, tapping twice at the yes symbol.

“I remember. Gonna make it there just for you.” He kissed her forehead and Em left the room, Dan a few paces behind her.

Watching the race was torturous. The garage was always so loud, the earplugs she wore under the headphones not helping much to dull the noise. She hated the way people’s attention was on her, the tv cameras finding her once or twice during parts of the race with less overtaking. Em hated how her name appeared on screen with “Daniel Ricciardo’s friend”. Netflix had called her that on Drive to Survive for the three seconds she’d been on it, so people had run with it. Now her instagram was public knowledge and people left comments on her posts about watching races she was at. It was so weird to have people invested in her, but it was becoming normal. Ish.

She held her breath for what felt like the entire final lap even though she knew she didn’t really need to. Dan had built up a gap to Checo and watching him come in with those sweet six points in his pocket was beautiful. The entire garage was cheering, Blake’s arm around her shoulders. Even Nico’s mechanics joined in, although their driver was understandably frustrated from his retirement. Em celebrated along, watching as Dan was swept up in delight.

It felt as sweet as Monaco, proof that two retirements didn’t matter because he’d done it. He’d gotten Renault on the constructors board and those points were his, from a car that arguably shouldn’t have held off the rest of the midfield for so long. Because that was her Dan and he was a talented driver. She watched everyone congratulate him, Dan searching her out to give her a hug.

“Best good luck charm ever.”

“I did try!”

Em kept an eye as he left the garage to go for interviews with a grin on his face. He’d led the midfield for the entire race and didn’t let anyone past him. He’d kept his cool and she got to see him be so happy. What else could she really want?

They spent that night at a restaurant trading bites of food, the four of them relaxed and enjoying it. The original plan had been for Michael and Blake to head back to England on Monday morning, and Dan to go to LA where Em would meet him. Now he was staying in China for a few extra days with her. Until when, she wasn’t sure, it depended on whatever madcap route she could get to go home. Her credit card was about to take a beating, even with the LA flight refund arriving in her bank account.

The next morning Em woke before Dan, pulling out her iPad and siting at the desk to try work out flights. He startled her by putting his hand on her shoulder, leaning over before sitting down in the other chair.

“What’re you doing?”

“Trying to work out what flight I’m booking to get home? There’s a bunch of random budget airlines I can try, but the idea of being lost in Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan is a little worrying.”

“Why Kyrgyzstan or Uzbekistan?” He butchered the pronunciation and she smiled, bringing up her travel app to show the route she’d built.

“I can get from Shanghai to X’ian, and then X’ian to Bishkek. After that it’s kind of a crapshoot to get home depending on if I go through Russia or not, but I think I can go from Bishkek to Istanbul and then do Ryanair flights from Istanbul to Milan, and Milan to London. It’s just over two days of travelling, but I can make it work and I’ll be home by Saturday.”

“But we’re going to Coachella this weekend?”

“I can’t, Danny.” The way he was looking at her killed her inside and made her want to cry but she had to keep it together. “I’ll pay you back for the ticket if you can’t sell it, but I can’t make it.”

“Why not? I’ll book your flight from here to LA now. We’ve got our tickets, you’re staying with me. Yeah you’re not using the flight out but you’ve got the flight home. Don’t worry about it.”

“I can’t afford it.” The words hurt to admit, Em letting her hair cover part of her face. “I booked a last minute flight to China, Danny. I had to make a choice so I cancelled my flights for LA. I’m just going home. Not all of us get paid the big bucks. It’s fine, I’ll see you when you get home.”

Money was always the thing that had been an unspoken potential disagreement with them. She’d argued with him time and time again about all the things he paid for when they were together, the presents he bought. The way he’d paid for their flights to Australia for Christmas and wouldn’t let her contribute. The constant arguments about him wanting to pay for her birth control. She hated admitting she couldn’t afford something. His eyes hardened for just a moment before pulling her over to him for a hug.

“Emmy. Never feel like you have to do this again. I’m so, so fucking glad you’re here. I’m so glad that that you came, but if it means you worry about money then don’t do it. And I’m paying for your flight to LA.”

“My outfits and everything are at home.”

“I’ll get you new ones.” He pressed a kiss to her to make her smile.

“The flights?”

“I’m booking you on my flight and you’re coming. And on my flight home.” Another kiss with another disagreement.”

“I don’t have anywhere to stay.”

“I own a fucking house there and you’re using somewhere to stay as an excuse? Seriously?” She smiled and reached to kiss him, staring right into his eyes.

“Dan…”

“I want you to come.”

“Danny. I just…”

“Emmy. If you really, really don’t want to go then that’s fine. I’ll book you a flight straight back to London, a direct one, and you can head home. But if this is because of your pride or you think you don’t deserve it or you don’t want me to spend money on you then I have some bad news for you Baby Girl. You’re worth every single penny I spend on us. That’s why I get paid way too much money so I can spoil us like this.”

“I don’t want to be a burden. You pay for everything. I don’t. I’m not your friend because of money or your job or any of that. I never want that to be a factor between us.”

“It’s not one.” He stood, lifting her easily and moving them to the bed with her perched on his lap. “Em I get paid way too much. Plus there’s sponsor deals and everything else and I’m lucky enough that I don’t need to worry about money. You are so important to me. So I’m paying for this flight and I’m sending the money for your flight out here because it’s my fault you’re here.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. I don’t want you spending two days travelling when we can go together. Ok?”

“Ok.” He pushed kisses to her face, Em grinning as his hands slipped under her shirt. “Having fun there?”

“I have a beautiful woman on my lap, I’m only human. Plus, we didn’t exactly get to enjoy ourselves last night.” He caught her lips with his, her shirt pulled off and Dan immediately moving to cup her boobs. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Her lips immediately went along his jaw, Dan’s hands pushing their underwear down. He lifted Em up slightly to push her panties off, a rip heard through the room. “Please tell me you didn’t rip-“

“I’ll get you a new set. Promise.”

His fingers were immediately playing at her clit, rubbing soft circles as he teased her. Em gasped, desperate for him to push at least one finger in but he held off.

“Gonna be at Coachella with me, Emmy? Gonna spend a week with you and me and the sun? I can’t wait to be there with you and dance with you, get to see you in your sparkly brilliance. You never even realise how good you look, do you?” 

“Danny please. Don’t tease me.” All she wanted was to grind down on him, desperate for friction and movement. He set her body on fire so easily, Em holding onto his shoulders as she moved without realising.

“But it’s so fun. It’s more fun when I do this though.” Without warning he began fucking her with his fingers, her head thrown back in ecstasy. Dan had learned every single way to get her off in the last year and this was a sure fire way. Two fingers twisting and hitting the perfect spot inside her, his thumb or tongue on her clit depending on the position they were in. Her quiet moans got slightly louder, Dan’s kisses on her neck encouraging them. He loved hearing every sound she made, the ones she’d forced herself to be quiet about for too long.

“Right there Emmy. I’m not going to fuck you until I get to feel you cum at least once. Right there such a good girl for me, aren’t you? So pretty like this. Just let go, Baby. Let me feel you, let me hear you.”

Between the words and the sensations Em came with a low groan, her lips pressed to Dan’s shoulder as she shook with desperation. He fucked her through her orgasm, continuing to murmur in her ear as she came back.

“Thank you,” she murmured, Dan kissing her.

“You never need to thank me, Baby Girl. I’ve got you.” He pulled his fingers away and Em licked at them to clean them, watching his face light up before he pulled her for a filthy kiss. It was Dan and her and she’d never thought anyone would want to kiss her when she tasted of herself but he could never get enough of that. She moved slightly, feeling Dan line himself up and slide into her as she sat down to take him fully.

That was the sensation she loved. The slight stretch, the way he felt so perfect in her. The gasp he let out every single time. Usually like this they’d take an age to just be close, but instead she knew it wouldn’t be as slow as normal. His lips were against her shoulder, sucking a mark she knew would last. She should argue, but it was too good. Until she rolled her hips and they both began to move.

It was soft kisses and touches, Dan making sure she was well on her way to a second orgasm and taking pride in it. She was holding it back barely, determined to keep things lasting, when the worst thing that could happen did.

The door to the hotel room opened and she heard Michael begin to speak as he walked in.

“Mate do you not check your phone in the morning? I thought we were I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THIS!”

“Get out!” Dan yelled, pulling a sheet around them. His hands had been covering her boobs, playing with them at the exact right moment. Em pushed her face into his neck, hiding herself away.

“Fuck. Fuck. What the fuck?! USE THE DAMN DO NOT DISTURB YOU ASSHOLE!” The door slammed shut and Em stayed still, holding onto Dan. This was her worst case scenario. They’d been so careful to keep this hidden, to make sure the boys didn’t know that they were sleeping together. And in one moment they knew.

“You ok?” Dan whispered to her, his hands running up and down her back.

“Mortified? That was pretty much the thing I didn’t want to happen.”

“It’s gonna be fine. They won’t say anything, I promise. I won’t let them.”

She kissed Dan harshly, pulling his face to hers. Of course he was making sure she was ok. He always did that for Em. His hips thrust up and she laughed, moving back against him.

“Not even getting walked in on is stopping us, is it?” She giggled, Dan laughing back at her while pressing kisses to her cheeks. He turned them over, Em on her back as he made sure to get her back to that second orgasm before he came, the two of them holding each other before going to the bathroom to clean up.

When they came down for breakfast Michael was quiet and didn’t say a word. Things didn’t feel different between them, and it was hugs goodbye to him and Blake as they left for the airport to go back to London. She and Dan were spending two days in Shanghai before flying to LA on Wednesday, and they were going to take advantage of every minute.

They held hands while walking around the streets, Dan letting Em choose their plans. She brought them on a boat trip down the Huangpu river so they could see the city from the water, a selfie of her and Dan one of her favourite photos. They went to the Shanghai Museum so she could see the art from centuries before. Dan watched her watching it, smiling at her excitement. It was a whistle stop tour and she could have spent even more time there, but instead it was curling up in bed at night, sex alone without the worry of anyone walking in on them. Dan had to do some phone interviews but they were simple and she worked while he did. Their last day in Shanghai was a late one, their flight not until nine that night. But instead of worrying about how long it would take they relaxed and wandered the city again.

Em brought him up the Oriental Pearl so they could get photos of the entire city. People ignored them, just looking like any other Western tourists. It was different to being in Perth or parts of Europe where he was recognised immediately, even if people in Perth left him alone with a nod of recognition.

Instead it was to the airport, checking in with her clothes in Dan’s case. They settled in the lounge as Em people watched and they ate dinner, preparing to nap for a little while at the start of the twelve hour flight. 

“You know before I met you I’d never travelled anything except economy?” Em said, taking a sip of the Coke Zero in front of her.

“You deserve it. It’s a long flight, we don’t get into LA till like six. I’d rather we can be comfy before getting to the house and relaxing.”

“Yeah, but still. Just weird. I feel like I’m being spoilt here.”

“And you deserve all of it.” 

Sitting into the plane and being greeted by name Em just smiled, watching as Dan sat in the pod beside her. How could she want anything else?

Taglist: @dr3lover @sabrinaselina55 @majx00 @tall-tanned-tattoo @lovingdennishauger @lauehr @msolbesg @f1medlife @idkwtfimdoing2 @leclercsbae @hiphopdancer101universe @mehrmonga @lewispool @saintandrea-droidsmuggler @coldheartedmar @sugarbabygirlofdaddy @nonsensical-nonce @a-distantdreamer @tita010 @leslizzle @javden @mloyer @saintandrea-droidsmuggler @magical-imagination-kgp @danarysstormborn @kakorrhaphiphobia @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @elizanav

[luvhughes43]

devil i know | trevor zegras x reader

suki waterhouse masterlist - luvhughes43 masterlist🌷

note: this is part 2 to nostalgia

summary: trevor finds out yn is engaged, and things escalate

lyrics: "i'm okay with history repeating, tell me i'm the one you can't forget"

"back in hell, at least i'm comfortable. need your body when my fire's cold. hand to heart, i'm gonna stay faithful to the devil i know, the devil i know"

word count: 2.4k

you haven't seen, talked, or checked any of Trevors socials in a while. you moved on. you were engaged to a nice man, and you dutifully accepted his promises of forever. 

your fiance wasn’t like Trevor at all. he was home all the time, he didn’t prioritize anything above you, and you knew he wouldn’t just leave you as soon as he got his dream offered to him. but he also wasn’t the good parts of Trevor either. he didn’t try hard to make you laugh, he didn’t shout out his i love yous for all your friends to hear, and worst of all, he didn’t make you feel those butterflies that everyone tells you to watch out for. you knew you were supposed to go for the guy that makes you feel calm, like your fiance. but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want those butterflies that only Trevor could make you feel back.

y/nuser posted one month ago !

y/nuser

liked by jackhughes, yourbff, and others

y/nuser 05/04/23 🤍

Trevor wasn’t going to lie, he did keep some tabs on you. although he didn’t follow you on instagram anymore, his friends did and when there was a major life update they’d update him. It all started with them updating him on your wellbeing, knowing that Trevor was upset with how he broke things off. 

but you knew better. you shouldn’t have messaged him back, especially with your fiance laying asleep right next to you.

Instagram dms

trevorzegras Hey yn… I know it's been awhile but I just wanted to check up on you

y/nuser why? It's been years…

trevorzegras I've just been thinking a lot about us lately

trevorzegras I’m really sorry about how I handled things. I should've tried harder for us

y/nuser you didn't try at all. you literally broke up with me and kicked me out. we didn't even have a proper talk about it.

trevorzegras I know and that’s all on me. I’m sorry

…

trevorzegras Can I see you?

you shouldn’t have opened the first message, but you definitely shouldn’t have responded. And now here you were, debating on whether or not you should go see Trevor. A man you haven't seen in years… your dms with Trevor still lit up your screen, providing you with the light to see the man sleeping peacefully next to you. 

…

y/nuser when would you be able to meet up?

trevorzegras Are you still living in michigan?

y/nuser yes. i live about 40 minutes from the lake house

trevorzegras I can be in mich by the beginning of May

y/nuser I’ll see you then

i'm okay with history repeating, tell me i'm the one you can't forget

“what are we having for dinner?” your fiance asked as he thumped down the staircase. you were fixing your makeup in the living room mirror, getting ready to go meet up with someone you shouldn't. 

“i'm going out, remember?” you asked, turning around so you could fully face your fiance.

“uh, right. with the girls?” he questioned. 

“yeah. we’re going to go hit the bars so i might be home late. You don't have to wait up,” you turned back to the mirror, capping your tube of lipstick and moving on to scrutinise your hair. Trevor always told you he liked it up, so you grabbed an elastic and tried to figure out a style you could quickly do. 

“right. well maybe I'll just order take out or something?” his statement took on a questioning tone and you lightly sighed. 

“yeah that sounds like fun. maybe you can finish that show we’re watching, what's it called again?” you said flippantly, hoping to find something that could distract him from asking too many questions. although you knew there was nothing for him to question you about (it wasn’t unusual for you to go out with your friends) it felt different this time knowing who you were going to meet up with. 

“The White Lotus?” he supplied, but then quickly added “it’s not the same without you. it’d be traitorous to watch without you”. you cringed at the word traitorous but quickly covered it up as you knew he could see your reflection from the mirror.

“maybe you could start a new show?” you stated in a lighter tone “you can tell me all about it when I get back,” you turned around smiling at your fiance. he smiled back and moved over to the couch to find something on the tv. he seemed pleased for the moment and so you decided to make your escape.

“I’ll see you later,” you waved to him from the front door as you gathered the rest of your belongings needed for the trip. 

“no kiss goodbye?” he pouted, causing you to smile. 

“goodbye” you teased, dragging the last syllable out for emphasis. “bye!” he shouted as you shut the door behind you. 

the drive was short, and soon enough you were standing outside of Trevors rental house, unsure of whether or not you should go through with meeting him. you were convinced earlier that you should, but with the deception of your fiance… you felt guilty for what you were about to do.

Trevor opened the door, giving you no more time to question and let yourself be consumed by the fresh waves of guilt washing over you. 

the first thing you noticed when you saw Trevor was his smile. you don’t know what you expected, but he looked the same. he was more grown up of course, but seeing him ignited everything you ever felt for him inside of you. you felt the pain, the heartbreak, and of course the longing and loving that came with being so close to him for so many years. 

“do you want to come in?” Trevor asked in a low tone, momentarily startling you. you nodded in response, and he moved aside to let you in. closing the door shut behind you.

you spent most of the time just talking on his couch. you had gotten the tense apology out of the way, and you couldn’t believe how quickly you were forgiving him. 

“I just think it’s interesting how now-” Trevor leaned over mid sentence, cutting you off with his lips on your own. you didn't pull back, but you didn’t react either, letting Trevor decide how things would go. he pulled away slightly, a soft apology leaving his lips but you couldn’t hear anything.

lust and longing clouded your vision as you pulled him back to you, arm slung around his shoulders as the other lightly caressed his jaw. as soon as you kissed him you started remembering just how Trevor felt before, how often you two would be in situations just like this… how much you had missed him when he left. 

you woke up in the morning in the airbnb bed. 

“good morning” Trevor said lightly as he brushed one of his hands along your hair that was now out of its updo. 

“good morning,” you whispered back as you sat up in bed taking in your surroundings. yours and Trevors clothes were strewn around the room. your body felt on fire once you came to recollect last night's events.

fiance💍🤍: You haven't texted me an update

fiance💍🤍: Are you staying the night with one of the girls?

fiance💍🤍: Message me when you wake up. I love you

you shut your phone back off and groaned. 

“Is that your…” Trevor started but trailed off, becoming aware of what you both have just done the night before.

“my fiance? yeah…” the two of you said nothing, looking away from each other and the mess that littered the bedroom floor.

you quickly got up and ready. 

“please don’t go,” Trevor pleaded as you stood in the entry with one hand on the doorknob. you quickly dropped your hand. 

“i can’t stay Trev i have a fiance at home and-”

“leave him. just stay with me, please” he pleaded, reaching out a hand to grip yours. you didn’t push him away.

there was a brief silence, “tell me i’m the one you can’t forget” you cut through it. 

“what?” Trevor asked in shock, glancing up to look at your face.

“tell i’m the one person you can’t forget” you basically pleaded, no sense of pride left in your body.

“i can't forget you yn. i haven’t and i won't” he said, moving to stand less than a foot away from you. he leaned down so his forehead was resting against yours and you both sighed out. 

“i’ll see you soon, okay?” you whispered, looking up into his eyes. Trevor nodded slightly, pulling his head away from yours and leaving a small kiss on your forehead. he watched you walk away.

"back in hell, at least i'm comfortable. need your body when my fire's cold”

after the first time, you snuck out to meet Trevor multiple times throughout his stay in michigan. things gt tricky with him leaving the airbnb about a week into your rendezvous and moving into the hughes lake house for the summer, but you made it work.

you felt sick admitting it, but you were comfortable with the routine you and Trevor had created. The guilt from sneaking off into the night soon turned into pleasure, and your love for your fiance turned into something meaningless. the vow you were supposed to take in a few short months meaning absolutely nothing to you.

It was one stupid comment made about dress shopping from one of your friends. your fiance had overheard and agreed. he was actually nervous for you. the fact that you might not have your perfect dress weighed heavily on his mind as he kept pestering you to make various appointments at different bridal shops. 

you had tried on about twenty dresses, none of them looking or feeling right. you felt absolutely miserable. the weight of the fabric weighing heavily on your body as the secret you’ve been keeping from you soon-to-be husband weighed on your mind. 

“yn come on, this one looks beautiful on you!” your best friend expressed as your entourage soon became tired of waiting and watching you try on different dresses just for you to reject them.

you smiled lightly in the mirror, letting your hands trail down the dresses bodice and onto the skirt. it would have been perfect if this was what you wanted at all.

“why are you marrying him?” Trevor asked one night. you had your head on his shirtless chest, arm wrapped around him in a makeshift hug.

you tensed at his question. you weren’t even sure why you were going to get married. it had seemed like the natural progression in your relationship earlier, but now with Trevor back… you knew it wasn’t right. 

“i don't know. I feel like i have to” you admit.

“you shouldn’t feel like you have to get married,” he replied, hand resting against your bare back. 

“what other choice do i have?” you replied, sighing as Trevors hand trailed up and down your back softly.

“you have so many options,” he whispered. “you could come back to cali with me or-” you sat up looking down at him. there was a slight blush tinged across his cheeks, and the small smile on his face made you a little nervous.

“Trevor…” you trailed off.

“no, please hear me out. you can move in with me, and we’ll figure it all out” he exclaimed, a slight frown taking over his face at your hesitant reaction.

“i’m comfortable doing this with you,” you gestured between the two of you and the room that you were in, “but leaving… Trevor i don't know how to tell you this but-”

“but what? this isn’t what you want?” he gestured to himself, obviously meaning that you didn't want a relationship with him.

“It's complicated” is all you said, but that wasn’t enough for Trevor.

“this,” he gestured between the two of you and the room just like you had done earlier, “is an affair. yn you’re cheating on your fiance” he stated. “you want to hook up with me? have an affair? fine. i agreed to that. but you can't just say it means nothing to you when you're going so far out of your way to meet up with me. To lie to your fiance that you’re perfectly fine with marrying him despite everything going on with us right now” he said more aggressively as he pushed you aside so he could sit on the edge of the bed, facing away from you.

you stayed silent, taking all of his words in. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered out as Trevor huffed and got dressed. leaving you behind in the hotel as he left. 

“hand to heart, i'm gonna stay faithful to the devil i know, the devil i know"

it was your wedding day. you were in the dress you had picked out, you had walked down the aisle with your dad holding onto your arm. your fiance had cried, you could see your friends and family smile as the officiant kept talking about promises and forever. 

your vows were over and done with next. You watched in silent horror as your finance professed his love to you in front of everyone you knew. he was holding your hands and you were terrified to break away. scared to continue on with the rest of the ceremony and terrified that you’d have to live the rest of your life out with a man you knew you didn’t love.

“if anyone objects to this marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace,” the officiant continued and you turned, almost comically, to see if there was anyone out there who was going to stop this. 

your eyes were big and wide, you were clearly nervous and scared. your hands that were still holding on to your fiances seemed to be slick with sweat. the wedding party looked around a little nervously at your appearance.

“don’t get married,” a man's voice sounded throughout the tense venue and you visibly relaxed as soon as you saw Trevors mop of hair rise from the crowd. “please yn” Trevor pleaded painfully. 

you didn’t even look back at the man holding your hands before you dropped them. shocked gasps and chatter sounding throughout the hall as you took off running towards Trevor.