#and PLEASE hmu if you want to chat/debate about this kinda stuff!!! i love talking to other people in the fandom and tumblr is the place for

[bataranqs]

What if I really want your thoughts on romantic tropes and how they can be made better though?? What if I like that kind of rambly stuff??

Darling I love you so much, I have prepared nothing and I’m running on half-thought out thoughts but I hope you enjoy this, oh but also DISCLAIMER no judgment to people who like these things you love what you love and you live your life!!! Knock yourself out and do what you do!!! My personal preferences should have 0 effects on yours and we are both 100% valid.

1. A/B/O dynamics! I realize this is more like a sexy thing but I’ve talked to a lot of people who say something along the lines of “idk why but I don’t like it” and I will give you the (most likely) reason: It’s institutionalized gender roles. Worse, it gives a biological reason what basically plays out as sexism. Omegas basically take the “female” role, alphas take the “male” role, and it’s just squicky. I have heard about a few fics that people who generally dislike this trope do like--specifically one in the YOI fandom--where it’s less like a biological thing and more like the way someone’s raised in society--but idk it squicks me so I just can’t. To be fair, I low-key hate most tropes to do with 

2. Woke Up Married - I don’t know if I can properly put this into words but there’s this idea that like when you see someone willing to be perfectly vulnerable with you and give you unconditional love then you will realize how much you love them but the truth is that people change and grow under their individual circumstances y’know? Who someone is after marriage, after x amount of years, is not the same at all as the person they were before they even started dating. It just feels--awkward isn’t the word, but it’s the closest I’ll get. If I had to write something like this, I think I’d make it very introspective and it’d make the person reconsider the person who they are--ultimately, this would change the future and I don’t think they’d even end up with the person their alternate self was married to. 

3. De-aging. I’d like to preface by saying I adore de-aging, just... not in a romantic way, very much for the same reason I don’t like accidental identity reveals. Generally I think there’s this premise where like “oh this guy comes off as an asshole but wait until you see their Tragic Backstory” which for me is... they’re still the same person. You saw who they used to be sure but... it wasn’t information they trusted you with, it doesn’t change who they are and that kind of falling in love, right after someone’s been unwillingly vulnerable and is currently insecure, it feels wrong.

4. Any kind of power imbalance? Teacher/student, slave/master (even if the master like, doesn’t like slavery and frees the slave, it’s still icky to me), any of that. It’s just... gross to me. 

5. Terminal hanahaki disease - I know I’ve talked about this before but this idea of like? You have to be loved back or you’ll die? That’s not someone else’s responsibility. That’s on YOU and YOU ALONE. I’ve just had way too many people crush on me to live with the ridiculous idea that the person who they fell for is in any way responsible.

6. Soulmates - People grow!!! And change!!! And this idea that somehow only one person is made for you? I don’t like that. It’s just--it undermines human freedom and will and choice and our capacity to grow and change and ultimately improve ourselves--I have read a few where the soulmarks aren’t pre-determined but they’re just like, indicators of love, which I think is okay, but ultimately soulmate aus just don’t vibe with me.

6.5. Reincarnation - same idea. That only one person is built for you? Across lifetimes? I just think humans aren’t stiff enough for such a love.

7. Sentinels/Guides - Going to be honest, I’ve only read about 2 fics with this premise before I decided it was Not For Me so I might be off on some counts but essentially it feels like soulmates but like a subgenre, where a Specific One True Love is the only one who fits with you, the perfect match, and that also... squicks me out. Also I think there’s this idea that this person is Necessary for your mental health which? I don’t like. You are responsible for yourself and yes, please depend on others, but like... ultimately if you always only lean on one person, you’ll only find yourself falling.

I’m sure I have more that will come to me as time goes on but this is all my mostly-asleep brain has got right now. And anon, if you aren’t one of my friends, don’t be shy! I love chatting to new people, and ultimately I’m just a nerd with weird opinions who talks a lil too much. Again, if you disagree on any counts, that’s totally valid and we can still be friends, this is just personal taste and honestly, trivial stuff even IF I get real worked up over it. Don’t forget to drink water, eat something, and rest well.