#and Okudera because Daddies don't have beef with bears simple as. They would simply Deal with the Bear

[shimano-futoshi]

So you gave us your best yakuza daddies list.. What about 10 of the least-daddiest?

You asked for it... And now You Will Get It! Welcome to shimano-futoshi's TOP TEN LEAST DADDIEST DADDIES OF THE YAKUZA!!!

And Now... NUMBER 10....!!!

10: KANDA TSUYOSHI:

Me: Can we get Shimano? Mom: We have Shimano at home. Shimano at home:. What a disgraceful excuse for a daddy. Like, it's obvious he's trying to be Japan's Next Top Shimano but it's FAILING. You are FAILING, Kanda. Do us a favour and just go. Leave. You will NEVER BE A DADDY!!!

9: SHIBUSAWA KEIJI:

Wow. Just wow. You didn't even try, did you Shibusawa? That underwhelming suit, that hairstyle you'd catch on a twelve year old trying to look like his favourite Tick Tock influencers. And what have you brought to the Yakuza, Shibusawa? Oh? The final boss of Y0? The shadowy manipulator behind the curtain? Oh, yes, I remember that, but only because you SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN!! Talk about disappointing villains. Should've stayed the tertiary, mate. Never will you be DADDY!

8: NIHARA TAKASHI:

Look, Nihara, I like you. I really do. More... Granddaddy material though. I get what you're trying to do, but I don't think it's working. Like, "acting chairman"? Really? Big whoop. I'm sorry grandpa, but I hope you've got your bus pass, because only DADDIES will be getting a ride home with me!

7: SHINDO KOJI:

Do you like daddy's katana, kitten? This guy looks like he frequents right wing message boards and that IMMEDIATELY DISQUALIFIES HIM FOR DADDYSHIP. I don't care how many slurs you call me or how your dad will get me banned from Discord, you will not be a daddy for as long as I live and breathe, Shindo!. And no, I also don't care that your "kittens" seem to think so. They're stupid and probably get their DDLG knowledge from Tumblr.

6: TACHIBANA TETSU:

Hm. Ok, ok, like, I get you. Sugar Daddy and all that, but you're just too TWINKY, Tachibana! It looks like your face hasn't changed since you were 5! Don't get me wrong, you're adorable, but DADDIES AREN'T ADORABLE! Goodbye, but take this link for my Amazon wishlist with you if you'd rather be above a few more on this list ;)

5: NISHIKIYAMA AKIRA (PRE-EVILIFICATION):

Suffers from Tachibana-itis... Too twinky! Too adorable! Don't worry, Baby Nishiki, you will grow up to be quite the daddy one day, but for now, we will have to wait... However, I am getting quite impatient. Wait, are you? Are you crying??? That is NOT DADDY BEHAVIOUR! GET OUT, you're making the chair soggy!

4: MEDIA KING:

There is nothing "king" about you, Media King... Daddies must be clean, well dressed, and humble. But you look greasy, are dressed in these gaudy, awful clothes, and are a self proclaimed "king"? I'm afraid your words mean nothing because DADDIES ARE CHOSEN, and you certainly haven't been, today! Also, why did your boss fight have to take so long to get to? The mere fact that I had to see your Bars Go Up for HOURS made me sick of you before we even met.

3: PATRIARCH GONDAWARA:

How much more opposite to a daddy could you get, Gondawara!? Diapers are for BABIES, dummies are for BABIES! You don't see any DADDIES DOING POOPY in their pants, do you?! No, I didn't think so! You may be number one baby, but you are number three worst DADDY! Now get out of here, I'm sure it's nap time.

2: NISHIDA:

Babyface strikes yet again, but dear Nishida here hasn't even TRIED to do anything to up his daddiness... You see, DADDIES TAKE CONTROL, Nishida, but you're content with being number two. That's just not going to cut the mustard, but I'm sure you'd need someone to do that for you anyway! Now go on, shoo, I think I hear Majima calling for his tea!

And, finally, the LEAST DADDIEST DADDY OF ALL YAKUZA EVER IS...

1: TERADA YUKIO:

What have we learned in this list? That daddies must be HANDSOME, able to take CONTROL, have an IMPECCABLE WARDROBE, and be SURE OF THEIR DECISIONS. Terada. You fall into ZERO of these categories. You look like a sentient thumb, the Tojo was in shambles while you were chairman, your outfit is atrociously boring, and you couldn't decide if you wanted to be dead or not! Look at you. What a disgrace! Truly the WORST DADDY to have ever lived, died, lived again, and died again! My only regret is you not dying for a third time! Oh, and you also KILLED THE NUMBER ONE DADDY SHIMANO! Even if you worked your hardest. Bought all the plastic surgery you could, wrangled the Tojo into submission, replaced all your clothes with Gucci and decided to Live On... You could never be a Daddy. Not after what you've done. Your Shin (Shimano Sin) is too great, and for that you will remain Yakuza's Least Daddiest Daddy for the rest of eternity.