#and Nic's fic is absolutely wonderful
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Huge thank you to @plastic-pipes for creating this amazing Dansen commission piece!!!
I commissioned this in honor of the fic We were bound to be together (This woman is my destiny) by @luthordamnvers. This Dansen fic lives rent-free in my mind and heart.
The fandom is so lucky to have you both!! â€ïž
#I love their expressions and the vibrance of the piece!!!#and Nic's fic is absolutely wonderful#dansen#stuff i commissioned#fave
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hiiii, i was wondering if u could do more with daryl x ex popstar reader ? itâs ok if not but take ur time <333 i love ur work đ«¶
Daryl Dixon x Former!Celebrity!Fem!Reader Headcannons
Word count: 573.
A/n: Headcannons based on this fic I wrote. I didn't have any ideas on how to write a part two, so I made headcannons instead. I hope you like it!
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Daryl saw you around the quarry long before he actually met you.
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He could see how everyone bestowed privileges on you, giving you extra food, extra water, etc. However, he didn't have the faintest clue why they did that. And he didn't ask why, either.
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He didn't emerse himself in pop culture, so he had no idea who you were.
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Merle definitely tried to shoot his shot with you multiple times, seeing as you were one of the many women's who's magazine photos he used to, ahem, do things to.
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Surprise, surprise, you rejected him each time.
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After Daryl officially met you and Merle revealed to him that you were famous before the outbreak, he tried to distance himself from you.
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However, you were dead set on befriending him, and in the end, he couldn't resist anymore.
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The first time Daryl ever realized that he had romantic feelings for you was when you were in the CDC.
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You and your daughter shared a room with him that night, and both of you insisted he play a game of Uno with you after you found a pack of Uno cards.
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The two of you continued playing the game long after your daughter eventually went to bed, and made the game more interesting by adding alcohol to the mixâeverytime somebody had to pick up due to a +2 or +4, they had to drink as well.
â
Daryl had never felt that relaxed in his life, and while the alcohol was slowly fogging up his mind, he thought to himself that you were the most perfect woman he's ever met.
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That thought had sobered him up, and he realized that he saw you in a way that friends shouldn't.
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The first time the two of you ever shared a kiss was at the prison.
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He had just returned from the woods with Merle and you were rightfully pissed at him.
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During an argument, you had unexpectedly grabbed him by the front of his vest and pulled him into a kiss, effectively ending the argument.
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The two of you never officially established your relationship. The two of you just simply were together after that.
â
Your daughter absolutely adores Daryl.
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Her and Daryl have an unbreakable bond.
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He teaches her everything he knows, and she absorbs everything he says.
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Because of him, she was able to help find food during those eight months on the road after the farm fell.
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The first time she ever called him "dad" was when the two of you reunited with him after Terminus.
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The two of you had managed to get out with Tyreese, and you had been with him and Carol when the others were trapped in Terminus.
â
While Rick and Carol ran to Judith, and Sasha ran to Tyreese, Daryl had dropped his crossbow and ran straight for you and Nicolette.
â
It was nearly impossible to tear the three of you from each other's arms. You all clung to each other for dear life, shedding tears of happiness and relief.
â
Without really thinking about it, she had accidentally called him dad.
â
âI missed you, Dad.â
â
Daryl was stunned, but he had shared a small smile with you, happiness overtaking his being.
â
âI missed ya too, Nic.â
#krys writes .àłàż#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x reader#twd daryl#daryl x reader#daryl dixon x female reader#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon the walking dead#daryl#the walking dead daryl#daryl fanfiction#daryl x y/n#daryl x female reader#daryl x you#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl dixon x you#the walking dead#norman reedus#norman reedus x reader
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Hey, Kuki! I was just wondering if you could do hurt to comfort Zhongli x Fem!Child Reader fic where itâs in the past and Zhongli just found them in the rice patties? Like, he was going on for a daily stroll and he saw the child and decided to take them in? This would give more context before all of your other child fics (since theyâre based in the present). I absolutely loved your Rubber Ducky story, it didnât fail to bring tears to my eyes. Take your time to work on this RQ, or you can ignore it if itâs too much to ask for :)
Hello! I was planning on doing this, but thank you for getting me started on it now! I love getting asked about Papa Zhongli and his little swan! Im going to keep this one GN to keep it in place with the series and make it a little more inclusive for the sake of continuity! Hope that's ok!
Zhongli x Gn! Child Reader| Hurt to comfort.
â---------------------------------
Zhongli was helping you with cleaning your room and all your old toys you don't play with anymore. Despite being too big for you, you held onto old dolls, little nic-nacks, old colorful drawings, and jewelry. But now was the time for you to get rid of them or to donate them to other little kids in need, as Zhongli reminded you.
Zhongli was a little sad at how much you have grown since being in his care. What, it's been about 6 years now? Yes, you were almost big enough to start your own schooling and ready to have more friends outside of Yaoyao and Qiqi. Zhongli didn't think after 6 years he'd feel a little nostalgia sick about how old you get, despite knowing your mental and physical again will be slightly delayed due to your adeptal traits but still. Papa can't reminisce a little.
Zhongli remembered how small you were, how scared you were when he'd try and leave rooms without you being right beside him the whole time.
"Papa! No Leave! No, leave me! Papa!" Zhongli felt his heart break each time you wailed to Madam Ping about how he left you forever while he went to go about his duties for the Wangsheng Funeral parlor. But the most heartbreaking thing was how he originally found you in Qingce Village.
A little while back, the 77th director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor asked her dutiful consultant, Zhongli to go to Qingce to see about a client as he had fallen ill and due to her ever-bending will and intent, the old man could be their next client.
Zhongli despite thinking HuTao's directions were a bit too offensive and blunt sometimes went up to the village despite wanting to hear more from here. The bickering wasn't an option for the director because somehow she would win.
Zhongli felt the warm sun beat down on his neck as he walked across the old rope bridges around the mountains of Qingce. The ex-Geo Archon always relished in the simple beauty of the simple but quiet village. As he walked, he could hear young children cry out and play near the waterfalls. Older people cleaned through the rice patties, and the sounds of the wind blew through the terrain. The shades of orange, yellow, and green, made it seem this village was in its own world.
Zhongli heard a small rustle in one of the patties beside him, turning his head to look, he felt a small tuff at his pant leg. Looking down he meets large [eye color] eyes looking back up at him in awe. You held a little small doll in your hands, your little fingers had little scratches and nicks on them, possibly from running around in the patties and getting a little dirty.
But Zhongli noticed other things too, like how your hair seemed a little messy, and your face had dirt and mud on it. But your small eyes looked at him with such wonder, so much pure joy. It was adorable.
"Hello, may I ask who are you?"
"Hi..." was all you spoke, you bowed your head a little, courtesy Zhongli noted. When that was the end of the conversation, he began to walk closer to the village chief in search for the elder man he was supposed to be with. You waddled after him, clutching onto his pant leg. At first, Zhongli felt a little bothered by it, seeing as you could get hurt but his patience outsmarted him and he allowed you to cling to him. He even began to walk slower so that your little legs could keep up.
When he finally found the elder woman who was the supposed Chief of the village, he began explaining about his position at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, however, the village chief stopped him and pointed out how he had made a new little friend.
"I see the little one has found you, such a surprise. They never like when adults try to crowd them, maybe because you're a new face around here. Hehe, how cute." Granny Ruoxin mentioned. Zhongli just smiled and patted your head, slightly trying to get a move on for this little house visit. But you still followed him, all the way up the hill to the old house.
The man's name was Mr. Xeui. Director HuTao noted he had some family relations in the harbor, however, his wife died about 6 years before him and his adult children worry about his time. Saying "We think he is too sickly and frail, maybe his spirit will move onwards soon." But Zhongli thought maybe his children haven't spoken to their father since a few years ago, because he seemed more than fine. He even met them on the porch.
Mr. Xeui made some tea, allowing Zhongli to sit with him, Granny Ruoxin left to go attend to something near one of the mills.
"I see little one has become fond of you. They really keep to themselves, such a shame. Their stories are so sweet and full of life, remind me of my youth." Mr. Xeui said. Zhongli took a glance around a few times to look at whom the old man was speaking about.
"I'm sorry I don't quite follow, who are you speaking about? Is someone else here with you? If so, I can put them down on your will if I need so Mr. Xeui." Zhongli had a pen and paper in hand, he also noticed the extra cup of tea sitting beside him.
"Look under the table, good sir." The old man nodded again and chuckled at how flabbergasted Zhongli was. But the old god looked down and saw those same wide eyes staring back at him holding their little doll.
"They can be quite talkative when you let them tell their stories. Some remind me of the feats of the illuminated Adepti. Hehehe." The old man sipped his tea and coughed into his hand, quickly grabbing a handkerchief to clean up the extra blood. He smiled down at you when you popped your head up and waved. He patted the table and encouraged you to have some tea. You sat down beside Zhongli and began to slowly sip your tea, even holding onto Zhongli's gloved hand too.
"It seems little [Name] likes you too Mr. Zhongli."
You lazily drank your tea, and Mr. Xeui and Zhongli carried out their original conversation.
"I know my daughter and son are worried for my being good, sir. However, I want you to know that I am fine for the time of now. I hate to envision my timely demise right now." He glanced at you and how you kicked your feet at the side of the chair.
"It's such a shame, I can't leave them anything when I am gone. I wish I could, my wife would have agreed. Is there a way?" Zhongli recalled the many practices of adoption and the fostering of children but seeing as how ill and old Mr. Xeui was, he sadly couldn't bring up one scenario. "I'm sorry dear friend, but I can't write something in your ordeal unless they are blood related or in the binding of a contract. It would go against the Ministry of Civil Affairs' wishes. Maybe perhaps your daughter could-"
"My daughter says with my age and that child, my time will be due soon Mr Zhongli. I think she is out of the question." Mr. Xeui sadly smiled. Zhongli nodded but felt a tinge of pain in the older gentleman's voice, how could anyone be like that to a child? He knew it wasn't his place but Zhongli wanted to ask what good health Mr. Xeui's daughter thinks her father is in?
No longer bringing the topic up again, Zhongli listened to Mr. Xeui hum with you an old hymn about the Adetpi on Mount. Hulao. He held your small hand in his as he repeated the hymn's words back to you.
"The strength of a thousand men, so strong and the might Rex Lapis, for he will be the dawn of the brave and catcher of the weak.."
Zhongli smiled and joined in too, the darkness of the conversation air was left alone for another time.
By the end of the visit, Zhongli walked back to Liyue harbor to deliver the news to HuTao.
Zhongli would visit the village more often, coming to check on Mr. Xeui and his health while catching up on certain things about his ordeal. Zhongli would spend time with you too, playing games, drinking tea, reading stories to you, and even teaching you fun facts about Qingce village and the rice patties. He adored how your eyes filled with wonder.
Playing simple games such as hide and seek, tag, and finders keepers was enough to bring a smile to anyone around. You played with the other children while Zhongli spoke with Mr. Xeui. He could tell though, that you preferred him alone to play with.
By the fifth visit, it was raining.
This time, Zhongli didn't bear a simple smile instead he had a serious face.
He spoke with Granny Ruoxin, she knew all too well the look on his face. Zhongli simply gave his condolences and asked for a letter to be sent on behalf of Mr. Xeui and his daughter's family to Liyue Harbor. "The director and I will be back shortly to carry out the services required for his ceremony. Please if you can, keep in touch with his daughter and her family throughout this process." Granny Ruoxin nodded but held a sad look in her eyes.
"And what about [name]? The poor child has no one now."
In Zhongli's heart, it cracked. Then broke in twain. She was correct, you now had no one. He didn't even know if you knew what was going on. If anyone explained to you the situation. His mind worried on your behalf as well.
"Where are they? Where is [name]?" Granny Ruoxin showed him to her home, and you sat on the porch holding onto the book Mr. Xeui gave you and your dolls. Sat beside you was your bag, possibly all the belongings you owned or were given. Zhongli could tell you had a few tears on your face. Maybe it was the rain, but he didn't want to believe so naively.
He stepped closer to you, crouching down to your eye level, Zhongli asked. "[name]? Hello, sweet thing, what happened?" His voice was gentle. No tone of force or malicious.
You didn't speak, you shook your head and sniffled. Your tears made Zhongli's heart sink deeper into his chest. He opened his arms and brought you close as your sniffles turned into soft cries and wails. Granny Ruoxin shook her head and patted your head, soothing you too. She apologized, and so did Zhongli.
"I am so sorry little one, I'm sorry."
The rest was a blur for Zhongli. The ceremony happened within the course of a few weeks, Granny Ruoxin put you in her care for a short period, even asking the Ministry of Civil Affairs if you could be placed with someone. However, she heard no reply. Director HuTao asked about seeing if she could do anything to help, Mr. Xeui's daughter left and took her father's things with her, but she only left the book he lent you. Noting that she thought it was the last thing you wanted to remember him for. Zhongli wanted to push her into the river for that, but he guessed it had a tone of kindness in it.
When Zhongli came to visit for the last time, she told him of all the things happening but yet no sign of finding your blood relatives or parents. Zhonglie glanced outside the window of her small home, to see you sitting near the waterfall kicking your feet in the water. Holding onto your book and your doll.
Zhongli's soul was eating away at him, he knew if you were put into the Ministry of Affairs care for children, the little light in your eyes would dim further. He couldn't tell how many times he had seen the children of that system turn into the worse of the worse because of so. But he knew Granny Ruoxin couldn't take care of you for fear of what happened to Mr Xeui.
The elder woman could see the turmoil in Zhongli's eyes. She sighed and sipped her tea.
"At this point, you could have the little one huh Mr. Zhongli sir? You are quite young, and seeing as you live in the harbor, you could be quite stable no? [Name] knows of you, and they are comfortable with you. Why not?"
"I don't think that would be possible. I have no experience with children or childcare. I think I wouldn't do so well in such a category."
Granny Ruoxin laughed, she shook her head.
"Do you think all parents know what they are doing when they first have children? Of course not, however, experience comes with practice and time. No one is perfect Mr. Zhongli. But for the sake of little [name], I don't think you need to be."
Zhongli glanced again outside the window, you were hopping in the water now. Granny Ruoxin's words hit him in a soft and tender way. Similar to what Mr. Xeui said to him last.
"Children are gifts to this world, it is up to you if such a gift should be appreciated, no one should be ungrateful for these types of gifts either. Don't you agree Mr. Zhongli?"
Looking back, Zhongli couldn't agree more.
He closed the toy chest that sat in your room took the boxes of old toys to the front of the house and placed them on the table. You were on the floor next to Ganyu and Xiao, coloring and talking about birds and dragons again.
Zhongli knew the moment he took you in as his child, it would never be seen as a regret. He knew Mr. Xeui would be smiling down at him on your behalf. Sure it took some time for him to get some things right, like setting rules and playing mean Papa but it was all worth it for you.
And look at your family now, originally with no one but the waters of Qingce, now you have family all over. In the circle of the Adepti, all the way to the ruling Qixing. He couldn't help was chuckle at how you wave to everyone in the harbor now, smiling and saying "Hello!".
How he smiles when your friends greet you and hug you, even when you show Qiqi your books and remind her you all are best friends. Madam Ping when she holds your hand as you dance in the harbor and get groceries.
And of course, he relishes how when you visit Qingce, you hurriedly run to visit your "Second Granny" Granny Ruoxin. She is more than delighted to hug you and ask you how your days are.
Zhongli accepted the greatest gift he could have now that he was no longer the Geo Archon, and that was you.
You truly were the greatest gift, even from when it was just the two of you, to every night you ate dinner with your family. No matter how busy, a family dinner is every night.
Zhongli was happy, you were his family.
And he was yours too, your Papa.
Tags: @kiiyoooo
(Sorry this took forever!)
#xoxokuki#xoxokukiđ#xokuki blog#kuki's writing#xoxođ#kukilovesđ#xokuki writes#genshin impact#lovekukiđ#zhongli fluff#genshin zhongli#zhongli#genshin impact zhongli#zhongli x reader#genshin impact fic#x child reader#papa zhongli returns
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Advent Anthology by @pacific-rimbaud
A Compilation of PR's one-shot entries for DHr Advent, years 2020-2022.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Relationship: Draco Malfoy x Hermione Granger
Art by the wonderful @chestercompany
My binderary baby and second fanbinding project.
read below the cut for the process and other binding deets.
Quick Specs
20,015 words | 179 pages | Quarto (1/4 of Letter)
Technique: Flatback bradel Title & Body Font: Libre Baskerville (in various style emphasis)
Fics included:
Les Pelerins (10k; 2020 entry)
I'm Never Lonely When I'm With You (5k; 2021 entry)
On The Virtues of Inexhaustible Burning (5k; 2022 entry)
Pac is the type I could trust to write anything and I know I'll absolutely love. Her advent fics, in particular, I especially adore. The writing is very visceral and I will not admit how many times I've reread these.
On The Book
I had not intended to bind any book/s for @renegadepublishing's binderary because of my hectic schedule, however FOMO won over and this book was born. It was a relatively quick design and typeset (I really do better under pressure lol). I wish I could say the same for when I started the actual binding though. This is the 8th book Iâve bound and I had expected it to go relatively smoothly, but this book fought me every step of the way and I'll indulge in expressing my distress on this post.
First, the print place I go to messed up my typeset, thus me having to travel back home to use our old crappy inkjet (that took 3 hours to print). And because said printer is crappy, I had to use 100gsm short grain to minimize show-through, and well, you can imagine how stick straight the pages are. Second, I made the case too small (I worked on the book after a toxic 12 hour lab day and was not in the right state) and instead of redoing the covers, I re-trimmed and repainted the fore edge (at cost of my lovely margins ..wails). Third & last, the vinyl refused! to stick to the cover and I proper burnt the HTV as well as my finger on my iron. In the book's defense, it was my first time using leather paper and I forgot to test their chemistry.
On The Bind
Everything else went swimmingly, aforementioned shit aside. I tried not to make this book scream Christmas and leaned into a more subtle theme through color choices. I finally got to use this lovely red leather paper from Itoya, which my parents bought me during their trip in Japan. Many thanks to @celestial-sphere-press for helping me out with the shops to visit!
The design cover was made on Illustrator. The words are actually the fic prompts which I arranged in concentric circles, inspired by the arrangement of the advent candles in our local church from years back. I have no idea what paper my print place used, but it has some nice pulp to it.
As I said, I melted the HTV and certain parts refused to stick, so I peeled all of it off, except for the spine title (which miraculously stuck) and used my foil quill pen instead. I used an off-brand one and it's really good!
I also did this sort of strip across the edge which I learned is called a "river" as Nic @bindsbymunchkin called it. The side near the spine though, looked asymmetrically empty, so I added the foiling. And as this is an anthology, the punctuations was a design choice to convey the start and end and pauses in-between stories (and mostly because they just look fancy lol).
Like my last bind, the edges are gold which is comprised of an undercoat of diluted dark gray Sakura acrylic paint and many layers of Liquitex iridescent gold acrylic ink.
Endbands are made with alternating colors of cream, gray, and gold DMC cotton threads, however I'm learning I don't very much like how sewn endbands look on small flatbacks.
The endpapers are my fave. I had already tipped in plain cream cardstock but then I was like: this book needs MARBLED PAPER! so I ripped off the one I had stuck and replaced it. It's actually not real marbled paper HAHA. I sourced it from this site, printed it on some heavy paper, and oh my god I believe the universe really meant for me to find this pattern because it coincidentally matched the colors of the endbands!!
On The Typeset
I wanted to keep things cohesive but also give each story its own character. Libre Baskerville was a lovely typeface to do that on.
From left to right: Les Pelerins, I'm Never Lonely When I'm With You, On The Virtues of Inexhaustible Burning
For Les Pelerins, I wanted to mimic the silhouette of the establishments in Montmartre, hence the varying heights of the letters. If I wasnât on a time crunch, I wouldâve spent more time editing the headers but alas this is what we get. INLWIWY is more straightforwardâ a pinecone, which was a recurring theme in the story. And I think OTVOIB is my favorite. I drew tiny gold cracks onto the coal rock which is a significant element in the story. It still gives me that stomach flip whenever I reread it (iykyk).
#sting and snout bindery#buzzing books#zâs biblioteca#fanbinding#bookbinding#binderary2023#dramione#pacificrimbaud#dhr advent 2022#dhr fic#ficbinding#dhr advent
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The end of the year is near! Give a shoutout to your favorite blogs and tag them to spread positivity before the year ends!
oh my god can i just slap half of byler tumblr onto here? probably not which is Dumb bc there are so many wonderful people in this community whom i am sending all my love and virtual hugs and tissues to (sorry i made you cry this year).
anyways umm category 5 emotional event incoming:
@astrobei my suni astrobei, my dear beloved, sweet unofficial little sister. you are so talented. so smart. so funny. so kind. and just one of the best people to grace this website. i love how grounded you are, how you make people feel so at ease to talk to you, how humble you are for being one of The Byler Writers Ever, how everybody just is so drawn to you because you are genuine and kind and supportive always. the byler community is so lucky to have you in it, but more importantly (sorry guys this is about me <3), i'm lucky to have you in my life bc you're amazing!!! ilysm!!!!
@wiseatom thea wiseatom, my sweet thea mouse with her bindle oh my GOD, where do i even begin? thea, truly you are one of the absolute best people here, and there is something to be said about how much you love your friends and how caring and gracious and wonderful you are. not to mention you might just be the funniest person i know, like pls i cannot count how many times you've made me laugh. also. i am still NOT OVER i'm caught up in you and i am frothing at the mouth waiting for exes fic because i know it's gonna wreck me in the best way possible, and i just think you're the bestest person ever that's it! <3 ily!!!!
@bookinit02 HAVENNNNNNNNNN. oh my god, you were one of my first friends here, and i remember being so so like nervous and thinking "i hope she doesn't think i'm weird or like bothering her by talking to her!" but i am SO GLAD we became friends because you are just literally one of my dearest friends here, and even if we don't talk super often, i am so so grateful for you and for how funny and kind and thoughtful you are!!! your fics kill me every time. shed scene you will always be famous. duffer brothers get out of the way, just let haven bookinit write the damn show already.
@messrsbyler nic? aka my personal pain in the ass? the demon on my shoulder? ugh god if i say anything nice about you, i feel like i'm going to be sentencing myself to 7 more years in hell with you. can't believe god decided "let's ruin the world and send andi into it," then got bored and said, "let's ruin it some more and send nic into it" a few days later. ok fine i'm done being not nice, stg don't make me regret this. nic, your brain holy shit. the way you understand characters (MIKE) and think of things to share with this community? dear god we're all suffering (in the best way) for it. not to mention i guess you're a nice friend. supportive and stuff. really nice. funny even if you annoy me. stuff like that. can't believe we decided to go feral over atla and now we're stuck in hell together.
@livsmessydoodles LIV LIV LIV MY SUNSHINE SWEET BELOVED LIV!!!!! oh my god, you are the best. literally so talented and so kind and so funny and so encouraging and also just so badass? like ok i'm not on twt anymore (rip to that hellhole) but the way you would so easily fire back at those people who tried to attack you asg jdle l HELP? but then like. you are also just the sweetest and friendliest person ever, and i??? i'm obsessed with you. your art makes me so emotional, and i cry ok. also thanks for putting up with me kicking your door down with sad byler thoughts. love you so so much.
@kidovna bhavna. ok. words cannot describe how much i adore you. you are literally one of the most talented people i have ever met in my life, so much so that i gush to my irl friends and family about your artwork and how cool i think you are. but more than that, you are truly just one of the most encouraging and most humble and one of the kindest people in our little byler fandom! i love how i constantly see you cheering others on and how i see you working with others and putting things together that make the community so excited (spider-will my beloved, thank you and every person who made this possible). your art never fails to make me smile and feel things, and i am sooooo lucky and grateful i get to call you my dear friend!
@elekinetic this is my official petition to put ella elekinetic in charge of stranger things 5. because hello. screenwriting. holy shit? holy shit. holyyyyy shit. ella, you are truly one of the most talented people i know, and usually, i read incredibly quickly because that's my default, but when i read your scripts i always take them so slow. i am like holding my breath in anticipation, feeling every single emotion, and i swear to you it's like i'm watching the show. and then on top of that you're just? one of the nicest people ever? literally i'm obsessed with you. thanks for coming to my tedtalk on why ella is the best.
@strangeswift abby abby abby abby!!!!! my stranger things x taylor swift partner in crime, you are THE BEST. god one of the highlights of the last few weeks of this year has been getting to know you because you're just such a joy to be around and to talk to. you have THE BEST takes on byler and on taylor swift, and i love how unabashedly nerdy i can be about this with you. also, i constantly see you on the tag just encouraging other people within this community, and look, i think that's really just such a special thing and is a testament to what an amazing person you are.
@toystoryfan TOY OH MY GOD. petition to make toy The Byler of the year please? because there is nobody i see lifting people up, making people smile, and brightening others' days like toy does. you are one of the most thoughtful and kind people i know. there is just a warmth and positivity to you that is SO wonderful, and it never fails to make me smile. i am hereby naming you sunshine incarnate and naming myself sunshine protector bc if anyone ever is mean to you, i'll end them.
@eightieslesbian MADDYYYYYYY. okay maddy, literally like i said with abby, one of the highlights of the last couple weeks of this year has been getting to chat with you and getting to know you!!! you are literally one of the sweetest people ever and also HELLO GIFSETS? THE GIFSET MAKER? OKAY. YEAH. THE COOLEST. plus our love for merlin has been resurrected (unlike arthur pendragon oof), and i love that for us. you always brighten my day whenever i see you around the tag, and i'm SO GLAD WE'RE FRIENDS <3
@smoosnoom MOON!!!!! a byler god among humans. the quality of fics that you put out is just absolutely outstanding? like i swear you don't miss, and i so appreciate how much thought and love and intention you put into your writing!!! literally top tier writing. and on top of that, you're incredibly sweet and so positive, so big win for the byler community that we have moon in it!!
@rotisserie5107 RORI!!!!!! rori oh my god, it's you and toy i swear. first off, you never fail to make me giggle when i see your tags or your comments because i swear you have the funniest commentary. rori comments are some of my favorite comments. i love how easygoing and friendly and funny you are and how easily you just vibe with everyone here? you're also SUCH an incredibly supportive and kind person, which makes this fandom an even better place. i return to work this week and i will be listening to ethel cain soon, so i will return to you with thoughts and feelings. đ«Ą
@wibble-wobbegong WIBBLE. ok i'm glad this ask came around bc i have been meaning to just stumble over into your asks and say this, but i'll do it here. wibble, first off, you're SO incredibly smart and do SUCH a wonderful job at analyzing the show and all its nuances. like bless you and your ministry. but second off, more than that (and not that the show and the fandom isn't important, but look there's also more to life than stranger things lmao), i can say without a doubt that you are truly one of the kindest people in the byler community. you always come across as so humble and so welcoming and so kind, which i think is often lacking (because it is the internet lmao), so it's always such a breath of fresh air to see you on my dash! also legit one of the funniest people ever ok?!!
god okay. that was so many people, and i could go on and on and on (and i have half a mind to just reblog this and add more people to it) because there are so so so so many people not on this list that i could gush about... but i'm hungry and probably need to go eat something since i skipped dinner last night. so that's it, thanks for making my 2022 brighter!!!
#andi's asks#you guys never ask someone whose top language is words of affirmation#and who literally cannot stop talking#to say nice things about her friends#because i will never ever EVER shut up#i kept going and being like and and and oh no SHIT I HAVE MORE TO SAY
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hey my loveyyy!đđ sorry i didnât message back sooner, iâve been at work like crazy the last couple of days and have had zero down timeïżœïżœ i hope the rest of your week has been good and youâre healthy and all is well!! and thank you for the bday wishes nic! it was a good day and got to spend time with the people closest to me and mess about at a huge arcade/bar&grill typa thingđ«¶đŒ (it was a win in my book) lastly, as self proclaimed togeâs wife, you absolutely went above and beyond with that toge fic. it was literally so good that i can barely put it into words. i canât wait to read your next work, love. AND THANK YOU POOKIE I LOVE YOUUUU MWAHHHđđ
- đȘ»
AHHHHH YOUR BIRTHDAY SOUNDED LIKE SO MUCH FUUNNNN OMG where my invite at?? đ
JUST KIIIDDIINGGG nothing makes me happier than to hear your birthday was so wonderful and filled with love and that you had the best time ever !!! <3333 bc if not i was about to ram my car into a wall đ
AND FAAWWKKK IM SO HAPPY YOU LOVED ITTTT OMGGGG it literally means the absolute world to me when you guys take the time to read my works đ„čđđ I LOVE YOUUUU MY BABY PLEASE HAVE A WONDERFUL REST OF YOUR DAY!!!
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how would tomgreg meet the parents go on both sides? tom w ewan and gregâs mom (forgot her name love you gregâs mom) and greg with tomâs parents. (bonus tom with gregâs dad??)
I feel like Tomâs parents would like Greg. Heâs weird and awkward but heâs generally nice to people. They probably only care if he makes Tom happy
Tom seems like he probably has the best relationship with his parents out of anyone in the show tbh? Weâve never heard him speak badly of them and heâs absolutely thrilled to see them at the wedding.
(He still calls them mommy and daddy even like lmao) and they seem just as happy to see him. They call him Tommy đ𧥠He also wants to go see them for holidays earlier in s1 but shiv keeps shutting him down.
His mom is his lawyer (this man is a mamas boy I know it) and heâs extremely distressed that âhis mother is dying of thirstâ on his wedding eve đ (and he had to carry a briefcase! The audacity)
But I could see Greg being kind of taken aback by how openly affectionate they all are with each other. Heâs NOT used to it. His immediate family isnât like that, The Roys definitely arenât like that.
Like his grandpa as we know has the emotional range of a stump and his mom seems like she might have some of that harshness/emotional distance too
(I mean look at how starved he is for attention. That doesnât just come out of no where. Marianne doesnât seem like the warm and cuddly type. Not saying she doesnât love him because from what we know I think she does. Sheâs just..her fathers daughter.)
But I could see Greg getting very attached to Tomâs parents if they did show him affection and basically welcome him into the family with open arms. I read a fic where he plays catch with Tomâs dad and argh </3 because heâs never gotten that from his own
It would go well I think. I could see Tomâs mom scolding him for being too harsh with Greg sometimes too. :P like she didnât raise you to act like that Thomas.
Now Marianne and EwanâŠ
Well, Tom has already met Ewan in person at Thanksgiving. (Iâm not sure the fuck your grandpa convo counts as a meeting but itâs definitely a horrible first impression LMAO)
He actually pisses Ewan off I think? When Ewan is talking about the war or whatever Tom chimes in with âI thought Canadians only fought on ice with hockey sticks hahaâ or something like that and Ewan gives him the dirtiest fuckin look lmao
He then proceeds to get more heated about his rant and Tom hilariously just looks at the ground after that like oops⊠(doesnât help on the drive there Tom said quite emphatically âfuck your grandpaâ)
But you know I think the dislike would be mutual and not just because he doesnât like Tom. I think Tom would be bothered by how Ewan is with Greg. Look at his family and then look at Gregâs, you know? It makes him angry and I wonder if pushed if he might even say something in Gregâs defense
Or at least to Greg when Ewan isnât around.
Marianne is a harder nut to crack because we know so little about her. She comes off rather distant and harsh on the phone? It could be because Greg is pissing her off in those moments but i think that might be her default state with him.
(I mean look at how starved for affection Greg is)
She does care about him though. Sheâs concerned when he calls her in the middle of the night (and then annoyed when it turns out to be that he lost his job on day 1).
And while she does refuse to give Greg money and I personally think that was cold..she does tell Ewan to feed Greg when he goes into town and mentions Greg is broke according to Ewan.
So I think she does love her son but like any Roy (ignoring sheâs still a hirsch) she seems to struggle with showing it.
Itâs interesting, she obviously was the one who raised him since his dad took off. Nic mentions he thinks she kind of sheltered Greg and held him back even and I thought that was an interesting tidbit. I donât see it but if Greg spent a lot of his life taking care of her like he is with her debts..that would make sense. (Also âsheâs a bit of a headcaseâ so she has some kind of mental health struggles. Maybe an addiction? We donât know)
Greg shows quite a bit of frustration with her but he does love his mom. He pays her debts off. He gives her a card (and god I know the deleted scene doesnât count but him panicking and saying he needs to call his mom during the âshootingâ because he thinks heâs going to die? </3)
But on a less happy note than the Wambsgans + GregâŠ
I personally find the idea Marianne just immediately hates Tom kind of funny in a horrible way but she also would have a few understandable reasons to do so depending on how much Greg tells her?
Either way I think she immediately picks up on the weird vibes between them.
I wouldnât be surprised if she had her suspicions Greg was gay. She probably didnât care, idk why I just donât think she would? (Itâs his dad sheâs mad at not all gay people..probably) But I could see Greg being terrified she would be so he hasnât come out to her
They just donât talk about it. I feel like thatâs a thing with Greg. He just..doesnât talk about things that really truly bother him. (Minor inconveniences yes but deep rooted issues like his dad? He never brings it up). Itâs like if I donât think about it I donât have to deal with it. Maybe he gets that from his mom.
But yeah I could see her seeing Tom, a man married to her cousin and seeing heâs clearly infatuated with her son and THAT rubs her the wrong way. That reminds her of Gregâs dad. So, sheâs just immediately like ugh I donât like you.
Also letâs be real it looks even worse than it is on the outside?
Tom a man two decades Gregâs senior, his boss and a man whoâs married to Gregâs cousinâŠ
Depending on how much she knows or witnesses, all that on top of how harsh (and crude) he can be with GregâŠI think any mother that isnât heartless would be rightfully concerned?
If I was a parent Iâd be concerned that itâs you know..itâs cruise situation esque shit. If only because heâs Gregâs boss.
However she does notice Greg is infatuated with Tom too and her first thought is this man is clearly manipulating and using her son. Maybe itâs for some business power play or maybe itâs just sex but she doesnât like it.
Also Tom tries way too hard (in her opinion) to make her like him and it makes her dislike him all the more lmao.
And of course with Tom being married sheâs obviously looking at her son and thinking heâs gonna get his heart broken. She doesnât know how in love Tom is with Greg. Sheâs thinking heâs never going to leave his wife because sheâs Shiv Roy and heâs gonna continue to string her son along until he finds a new boy toy to take his repression out on.
(this is all the funnier if they actually havenât even started fucking yet but sheâs convinced they are)
Tom is probably genuinely confused why she seems to hate him. Greg says sheâs just like that but she seems civil enough with other people. He feels like heâs talking to a even more aggressive version of Caroline, her dropping barbs and what he highly suspects are thinly veiled threats.
Literally everything he does backfires though. He gets her flowers and sheâs allergic. He offers to buy her something and she accuses him of seeing them as a charity case. Heâs being nice to Gregand sheâs thinking god what a fucking lech.
She does not like him. Heâs going to hurt her son and while she isnât the best or warmest mom she does love Greg. (And sheltered makes me think she does have some protective instinct in there). Heâs her only son and she raised him alone presumably.
Greg is mostly confused and thinks his mom is just being ridiculous about the whole thing. Heâs not in love with Tom? Tom isnât in love with him? Wait..
Also..Greg mentions Tom has a dog (his mom likes dogs) but he foolishly mentions heâs penned up most of the time and as a woman who lets her dogs on the bed sheâs disgusted. LMAO (Gregâs like jeez mom itâs Shiv who does that not Tom but she still blames Tom because she wants to)
And her Greg has always been a sensitive boy. Always so eager for affection she never quite knew how to give him.
Gregâs dad? Hm..itâs hard to say because besides him being gay and taking off on Greg we know nothing about him.
Did he ever try to contact Greg? Did Marianne put a stop to it maybe or did he just give up? Did he just walk away and never look back? Was he a good dad when he was in Gregâs life or a shitty one?
So it would depend a lot on what kind of person he is but I think Tom would immediately dislike him just because heâs a deadbeat who abandoned his son with his clearly unhinged mom in Tomâs opinion
Whether heâd like Tom idk. He might try to fuck Tom for all we know. He might hate Tom because heâs an obvious closet case whoâs maybe stringing his son along. Who knows đ
For all we know he could not care about Greg at all or be a major asshole. Hell, maybe he comes back into Gregâs life solely because he sees his son is successful now and heâs come mooching.
Maybe he does genuinely feel bad about leaving Greg and want to make amends.
We just donât know and I want to know so bad!!!
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Emilyâs best Nic episodes
 To commemorate International Womenâs Month, weâve compiled a list of some of Emily VanCampâs best episodes as Nicolette âNicâ Nevin from The Resident.
Emily played Nic with such grace and realism. Whether she could make you smile, cry or even inspire you, itâs no secret as to why Nic remains one of the best characters to this day. So without further ado, hereâs our (incomplete) list of her greatest highlights!
Pilot & Independence Day (101 + 102) - Right off the bat, Nic proved herself to be a no-nonsense, caring nurse who willingly put the needs of others first and wasnât afraid to call out somebodyâs bullcrap when she has to. And we love her for it.
Fic rec: First Day, First Blood by Monisse
Comrade in Arms (103) - In one scene, she made Barb stop an MRI because the patient had a metal implant, therefore it wouldâve caused him serious harm. She made the right call thanks to her alertness and attention to the patientâs medical history, and it was satisfying to see her take Barb down a peg.
Fic rec: The Trials and Tribulations of Chastain Park Memorial by marvelaosdc1620
The Elopment (107) - This episode dealt with sexual harassment in the workplace, and the way Nic handled an uncomfortable situation with a sleazy VIP patient was nothing short of genius. As tense as things were, she wasnât wrong when she told Conrad she can take care of herself, and we never doubted her for a minute.
Fic rec: in the silence, I can pretend by fearless_beggar
And the Nurses Get Screwed (111) - During a disciplinary hearing, she opened up about treating and caring for Lily before her untimely death. Her impassioned speech struck a cord with audiences, giving insight to the work nurses perform daily, the kind of work we never stop to think about. Even as they usually go by unnoticed or unacknowledged, that scene is a powerful reminder why we still need nurses today and how we should be forever thankful for them. As for Emilyâs acting, her delivery hits all the right notes and how come she wasnât nominated for an Emmy after this?
Fic rec: Eight Seconds Before it All Sinks In by SkatingThroughLife_35
Nightmares (206) - Not only did we get to see Nic and Mina in some wonderful costumes, we also saw a much more vulnerable side to Nic, as she struggles to trust her sister while battling her personal demons. While she usually seems put-together from outward appearances, seeing her having an anxiety attack broke that facade, and it was so realistic and heart wrenching that you couldn't help but want to give her a hug.
Fic rec: Warmth by clarako_CoNic18
The Unbefriended (223) - This episode was not just crucial in the development of CoNic but also for her development as well. Nic had trouble communicating with Conrad because she was used to being self-sufficient but was reluctant to share her burdens with others and ended up pushing him away. However, by addressing her feelings in that scene at his apartment allowed her to be comfortable with being open with him and letting him be her rock the way she has been with him---no drama required. This simple act shows that reaching out to somebody isnât a sign of weakness but a sign that things will get better in the long run.
Fic rec: Iâll Follow You Into The Light by fearless_beggar
From the Ashes (301) -Â Emily conveys a lot of emotion in this episode as Nic mourns the loss of Jessie. In subtle, quiet moments, her grief reverberated through our screens and had us shedding a tear or two, especially when she sits in that field of sunflowers. It wasnât too heavy but it felt poignant and sentimental all the same.
Fic rec: Such views to make little things of by rightfullymine
Doll E. Wood (317) - Hereâs where see Nic shine at her brightest; from showing her playful side while celebrating her engagement with Conrad to absolute seriousness as she displayed compassion and empathy while helping a patient get out of a potentially dangerous situation. Emily wasted no time making the most out of every scene, and we enjoyed every bit of it.
Fic rec: bleeding love - clarako_CoNic18
Honorable mentions
* None The Wiser (105) - when she comforted Trevor
* No Matter the Cost (106) - when her friendship with Mina was born
* Trial & Error (207) - that scene with Jessie literally broke our hearts.
* 00:42:30 (201) - watching Nic try and maintain order in the hospital during a blackout was pretty amazing---and also kind of hot. đ
* Support System (319) - when Nic formed a support system for a lung transplant patient with no immediate family members.
* Best Laid Plans (312) - Nic and Mina make an extraordinary team.
* First Days, Last Days (408) - although we loved it if the writers expanded on this more, we were rooting for Nic as she copes with the emotional aftermath of her attack, and were glad that she was able to thrive and remain strong in spite of it.
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How We Got Here/Where Weâre Going
Hello yes hi! I am proud to introduce my gift for the lovely and amazing Tess, @clockworkgraystairs ! This started out as a wedding fic, but I couldnât get it to work right until I was giving @wanderingpages her regularly scheduled Mayari update and saw her asynchronous pregnancy au and was like â!!!!!Holy shit thatâs it.â So, without much further ado, I present the beginning of âHow We Got Here/Where Weâre Goingâ, an all human, modern au where Cardan and Jude have been a thing since college, ended up getting pregnant and having a daughter and marrying in their late 20s. Now itâs their honeymoon and theyâre looking backwards at their past and forward towards their future.
~~~~~~~
Outside, fluffy grey clouds hung over a soft blanket of snow, masking any sound that mightâve accompanied the rising of the sun. Her bed was soft, her sheets warm, her room quiet. Jude couldnât quite figure out what woke her up. Then, as she stretched out, her fingers hungrily searching as she fought sleep, she realized what it was: Cardan was missing.
Sitting up, her eyes bleary and drool dried on her cheek, she pouted. When she remembered that she didnât have a stitch of clothing onâand that, plus a snowy log cabin, makes for freezing nipsâshe grumbled and burrowed back into the comforter.
Oh to have been a fly on the wall in the little cabin bedroom as Jude Greenbriar tumbled around in her nest of blankets, dragging them with her to grab underwear and pajamas and socks and fighting to avoid any cold air as she dressed. Cussing and tripping as she went, Jude scowled into nothing and cursed her fiancĂ©â
Wait. Husband. Itâs husband now.
âshe cursed her husband for abandoning her to the elements and taking his space heater of a body with him when he went.
Jude wrapped herself up in her ball of bedding and went out the door, now awake enough to listen for movement in the small cabin. A pot clanged from the downstairs kitchen and her husband yelped and she smirked.
Thatâs what you get, loser.
As Jude walked down the stairs, she couldnât miss the chaos of the living room. Most of their suitcases were still packed up and set by the fireplace, their skis and snow jackets barely made it in the door, and their wedding clothes were strewn haphazardly across the sofa. She was honestly impressed that theyâd made it inside the house.
Just as she made it to the bottom of the stairs and headed towards the sofa to run her hand over her wedding dress, she heard something that made her stop.
ââAnd how should I know? Honestly Nic Iâm not even sure how to bring it up to her,â Cardan sighed from within the kitchen, bustling around like he was making breakfast. âI think it might be good for us. Still, with how everything went when we had Faye, I donât want to pressure her.â
She couldnât help but frown in concern as her mind flitted back through everything she could remember about their first daughter and her pregnancy. From the confusion of her missed period to the worry as they waited on the test to the way Cardanâs eyes had lit up when the Ob/Gyn told them they were having a little girl.
What on earth would Nicasia be talking to him about?
Jude tried to tell herself that it was obvious, Nicasia was only days away from popping, and her pregnancy had been a bit of a nightmare. Maybe she was just nervous? But, then again, why ask Cardan about giving birth? Jude had been the one who carried Faye and, far more importantly, Nicasiaâs own wife, Taryn, had already had a child herself.
Completely ignoring the fact that calling a man away from his wife on his honeymoon was probably in poor taste, but she digressed.
She kept herself as still as possible, angling her head so she could hear better.
âYes, I know that, Nic,â he let out a little frustrated laugh, and Jude could just picture the way he would be pinching the bridge of his nose. âBut Faye will be starting school soon and thatâll be a circus in it of itself, never mind adding on the stress that this would.â
He went quiet again and Jude crept back towards the stairs, hoping he wouldnât walk through the kitchen door and catch her spying.
âI know you and Taryn want the little man to have a friend, but you remember how tough it was for Jude our first go round.â
Oh.
Judeâs hand flew to her belly and she had to jump to catch the falling blankets before they made a sound and alerted her new husband.
So she wasnât the only one who was getting suggestions about expanding the family.
It made sense, everyone had been talking to Jude about the idea as the wedding had gotten closer. Oriana had been completely starry eyed ever since Tarynâs firstborn, Rosemary, had graced them with her presence. In fact, their stepmother had barely batted an eyelash at Judeâs worries when sheâd fallen pregnant during college, she was far too excited at the idea of another grand baby. Madoc had gotten past the shock and the disdain for Cardan enough to be hounding them for a grandson. Taryn thought having cousins the same age made for perfect best friends. It was a mess.
Sure, Nicasia being pregnant had bought them a little respite, but she could go into labor literally any minute, so there went that.
Jude rolled her eyes and began loudly making her way down the stairs again, giving her husband fair warning this time as she walked through the living room and towards the kitchen.
âHold on, here she comes,â he whispered, low enough that he likely thought she couldnât hear. Then, she hit the kitchen door with her mobile blanket fort and he spun around with a: âhey Hot Mama!â
âStop calling me that, you dork,â she made a face, instantly regretting her decision not to sneak up and scare him.
Heâs stood there by the stove, wearing nothing but his low-slung flannel pajama pants and grinning at her like an idiot as he leaned back against the counter. She refused to let her sneer fall, only growing more annoyed at how he could walk around half naked in such a freezing house.
âHuh?â He mustâve forgotten he was talking to Nicasia because he seemed surprised when she began speaking on the other end of the phone. âOh, yeah, Judeâs finally awake. Yâknow I kept her up last night, heyo.â
Jude let out a disgusted groan and he just started to laugh, giving her an exaggerated wink and thrusting his hips forward in a way that absolutely did not put butterflies in her stomach, thank you very much.
He tilted his head, listening to Nicasia for a moment before finally giving up. âHere Iâll put her on speaker.â
âHey Nic!â Jude smiled, finally dropping her pretenses and walking over to give Cardan a big, blankety hug and morning kiss. âHow did Faye do last night?â
âShe was great! Didnât get up until about seven this morning. Of course the little man already had me up, fuckinâ kid always sitting on my bladder,â Nicasia griped through the phone and Jude snorted. âI donât know how you and Taryn both did this it sucks.â
âYeah, but the payoff is really cute,â she shrugged, leaning her head against Cardanâs collarbone. âEspecially when they have your nose or your eyes or they start saying how much they love their Mommy.â
âIs Rosemary ready for baby?â Cardan asked as he wrapped his arm around his blanket bundle of a wife.
âYou know how she gets, sheâs super attached to her moms. Well have to see once Taryn and I actually bring him home.â
âIâm sure sheâll be a great big sister, sheâs always been wonderful to Faye,â Jude offered, smiling as her husband pressed a kiss to the top of her head. âShe was very sweet when Faye was a baby.â
âShe was three then. Seven-year-olds have much bigger personalities.â Nicasia sounded exhausted, more exhausted than a normal pregnant person would be and Jude worried at her lip.
While they hadnât always been the closest, she and Nicasia had grown into a really solid friendship ever since the other woman had begun dating Judeâs sister, and she didnât like to see her struggling. Nic had been a huge help in Judeâs own life and relationship, sheâd been an amazing friend to Cardan, she didnât deserve anything but the best, happiest transition to a family of four.
âWell she takes after her mother.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean, Jackass?â Nicasia laughed at Cardan, her voice sounding like the tension broke a little.
Jude opened her mouth to give some word of advice or make some statement about how sure she was that it would be ok, but got cut off by the sound of commotion on the other end of the phone.
âWhat? Oh, yes Faerie-Faye itâs Mommy and Daddy,â Nic said, sounding far away from the phone. âOf course you can darling, here you go.â
Judeâs heart swelled and tears unexpectedly pricked at the back of her eyes as their daughter fumbled with the phone. She felt guilty, having forgotten for a moment that they were on their honeymoon without Faye. It was their first trip alone since her birth, and theyâd both been on pins and needles when theyâd said goodbye to her at the reception hall last night.
âMommy?â Fayeâs voice, tiny and soft like the twinkling of a wind chime, came through the phone. âHello?â
âHey little elf! How are you? Mommy misses you so much,â she gushed, reaching out and taking the phone from her husband in a mindless attempt to feel physically closer to her daughter. âHave you been good for Aunty Taryn and Aunt Nicky?â
Jude listened attentively as her four-year-old prattled on about everything sheâd done since she left the reception hall with her aunts and cousin last night. To hear her tell it, Faye had had a great time. While it made her happy, Jude also found herself a little sad at the idea that her baby girl was doing so well without mom.
âAnd Daddy, Aunt Nicky let me touch her tummy when baby cousin kicked!â
âWere you gentle, Princess?â Cardan asked. He always called their daughter Princess, had since the first moment heâd held her in his arms. âRemember what weâve said about soft hands.â
âYes Daddy I used soft hands and nice words!â
âThatâs my girl,â he said, that proud grin he always got whenever Faye listened to them plastering itself across his face.
The phone fell away and they heard some distant talking before their daughter was back on.
âOk Mommy and Daddy, Rosemary is awake and weâre playing Rome. I love you, bye-bye!â
And she was gone before either of them could say another word, likely dropping her Auntâs phone on the floor, if history could serve as a teacher. Jude tried not to let it hurt too much, she knew how seriously Faye took Romeâher word for the pretend gladiator-style tournaments her and her cousin put on. On any other day sheâd be slightly smug at how well her kid swung a sword, but today she was away from her daughter and it really sucked.
âSorry about that, Iâll make sure she stays on longer tonight,â Nicasia promised before either of them said anything. âBut you know gladiator is a serious time in our house.â
âOh to be sure. My wife is raising a little killer.â
âLooks like it runs in the family,â she laughed back. âListen Iâll let you to go do gross honeymoon shit. Love you both, Iâll let you know if baby boy makes an early appearance.â
âLove you too, tell Faye we love her,â Cardan said, taking his phone back when she ended the call.
And, just that quickly, the little cabin in the snow-laden forest was silent again. Jude in her mountain of covers looked up at her new husband, her pout from earlier back as she tried not to cry.
âAwe, donât do that to me Mama Bear; you know she misses you,â he frowned, pulling her close and kissing her temple.
âSheâs my baby Cardan,â Jude whined, her voice muffled against his chest. âWhen did Rome become more important than Mommy?â
He scoffed, gathering her and her extra padding and setting the whole pile atop the kitchen island. âRome is not more important than Mommy, you know that.â
âRome sure sounded more important than Mommy.â
He turned his back with a roll of his eyes, reaching for the coffee that he mustâve been brewing before she woke up. She stopped her pouting long enough to take in the sight: Cardanâs messy black hair, his low-slung pants, the blatantly obvious fingernail marks carved up his back from last night. It was certainly a sight for sore eyes; itâs not every day you can wake up to something like that when youâve got a toddler in tow.
âWhen youâre done ogling, would you like a cup?â He looked over his shoulder quickly, catching her in the act. His eyes twinkled so bright and full of mischief she didnât even feel bad about being caught, she just smirked at him as she nodded.
Jude looked outside and saw that the heavy grey clouds had given up the fight and large, fluffy snowflakes were falling, bathing the world in yet another layer of snow.
âI hope Nic doesnât go into labor early, we may be stuck here if the snow doesnât stop,â she observed, suddenly quiet as she took the cup from his outstretched hand and brought it to her face, soaking in the warmth.
Cardan followed her gaze as he leaned back against his own counter, sipping from her Mrs mug that Liliver had gotten her as a joke. He looked pleasantly tired, not wired like heâd been after an all nighter in college or exhausted the way he was when Fayeâd had a bad night as an infant. He looked like he was fit to curl up in bed with a book and be lazy all day, content with his place in the world.
It was a good look on him.
âShe told me earlier that her doctor said she was only at 1.5 centimeters, she should make it to her due date.â
âI didnât.â
âWell you were full of surprises with Fayeâs pregnancy,â he mock-glared at her and she chuckled into her drink, remembering the look on his face when sheâd told him her water had broken in her final.
Then his words hit her and her smile fell as she remembered what sheâd overheard him saying to Nicasia. Cardan, well tuned in to her body language after so many years, noticed instantly.
âWhat?â
What good is spying if you narc on yourself?
She sighed and stared into her mug, trying to figure out the words as he watched her, worried something was wrong. Then, finally, âI overheard you talking with Nic about my pregnancy with Faye.â
âHow much did you hear?â
âJust the end, you talking about how tough it was, how you didnât want to pressure me,â she admitted, continuing before he could respond. âI donât want you to think youâre pressuring me I know weâve talked about it and Iââ
âWoah, woah, woah, calm it down Hot Mama let me explain,â he cut her off, taking her cup from her hands and setting it down in the counter so he could hold her. âThat conversation wasnât about the pregnancy, just the timing.â
âWhat?â
He sighed, his jaw working like it always does when heâs a little frustrated. âNic called right after I got a text from my brother. I shouldâve talked to you first but the timing just worked out weird.â
âFrom Balekin?â She crinkled her nose in a frown that she knew he found adorable. âWhat could he possibly want? He knows he literally missed our wedding, right? The wedding that was yesterday.â
She cursed herself internally as she saw his little wince. She shouldnât have said it so harshly, it just pissed her off that the man who raised her husband would refuse to be there when they got married.
âNo, from Dain,â Cardan said, stopping her thoughts right in their track. âItâs about the company. Rhyia is apparently sick of being CFO, wants a peace of the trust fund baby action like me.â
She couldnât help but grind her teeth at that, remembering that glorious fight all those years ago at his familyâs mansion when heâd announced their pregnancy.
âSo what do you have to do with it?â
âDain wants to keep it in the family,â he chewed at his bottom lip. âRemembers I was in for business and you were in for finance. Thinks we could make a go of it together.â
âOh so now youâre family,â she laughed angrily, her blood already boiling again after four years of avoiding the subject. âYou werenât family when you were a defenseless kid and you werenât family when we were pregnant and fucking panicking but now he needs somethingââ
She broke off with a huff, flexing her fists and aching for her punching bag back home in their basement. It really wouldnât do getting this riled up, it hadnât helped them before and it wouldnât help them now.
âCool it, Supervillain, I see that look in your eyes,â he chuckled, forcing his hands under the blankets so he could grab her by the hips.
âIâm not a supervillain,â she grumbled.
âYouâre my supervillain,â he cooed back, leaning forward to press soft little butterfly kisses to her jawline. âMy sexy little supervillain Hot Mama.â
âI hate you.â
âYou love me.â
She decided not to answer as he continued kissing down the line of her throat, his breath hot over her pulse and his lips soft against her chapped skin.
Jude couldnât help the way she tilted her chin up, the little grin that graced her face as her eyes fluttered closed. She missed moments like these, times when they could be overly affectionate without having to worry about the baby seeing and yelling about how gross it was.
He pulled away and her eyes shot back open, ready to complain until she saw the look on his face. He was troubled, almost apprehensive.
âI was honestly thinking about agreeing,â he admitted before she could ask what was wrong.
Her brain short circuited for a moment, too distracted by his kisses to remember what they had been talking about. When she finally connected the dots, she frowned. âBut you bought out of the company years ago, babe. Why go back to the headache?â
âA higher paying job,â he sighed, stepping away to run his hands through his messy hair and lean against the counter again. âI donât like the idea of charging your sister more for my help, but I still want to make sure we have a secure future.â
âBaby, I know our finances. We are fine.â She took a sip of her coffee. âEven without my paycheck.â
âStill, Iâd rather be safe. Plus Faye will be going to school next year and Iâll have all that extra time on my hands,â he looked away from her, chewing at the inside of his lip as he watched the snow fall. âWeâd be able to really change how we live if we took this job. A better house, vacations, secure college fund for the kids.â
Jude studied Cardan, her eyes roving over his midnight black curls, down his earsâwhich used to be stretchedâacross the tattoo of her and Fayeâs birthdates at his wrist, and she smiled. Heâd changed so much since they first met, given up a lot of his more daring, self-destructive ways to provide for her and their family. Heâd stepped up when she needed him to, heâd stepped up in a way that no man in his family ever did for him. She was proud.
âI thought kids is what youâd been discussing with Nic.â
His eyes shot back to her, but his head didnât turn. She was quiet, almost nervous as she said it. Theyâd talked about maybe one day having more kids, mentioned it the same way one might say they wanted to hike the Appalachian trail some day.
But it had been so scary with Faye, so hard figuring out how to become parents, how to maintain their relationship and build a home, all while they were just barely adults. The pregnancy had been tough and full of shock, the family had been kind of a mess on both sides. It was just a disaster from the word go.
Still, Jude remembered how Cardan looked when he first saw that positive pregnancy test all those years ago. She remembered how he used to love waking up at night to feed the baby, called it his special Daddy-Daughter Time. She saw the way he still held one of Fayeâs sonograms in his wallet every time she took her birth control.
âDid you now?â Cardan barely sounded like he was breathing.
She nodded. âI heard Nicasia giving you the same guilt trip Taryn gives me about cousins.â
âThey do seem to think that baby boy should have a friend.â His face didnât give anything away. He was, for the first time in years, so carefully blank around her.
âWhat do you think?â
The air, still frigid enough to keep Jude wrapped up in her nest, seemed charged with electricity as Cardan finally turned his head back to face his wife. If sheâd gazed upon him with an untrained eye, she wouldâve thought he looked like the picture of cruelty, an evil sneer pulling at his lips as he studied her through lidded eyes.
But Judeâs gaze wasnât untrained, she knew her husband. And, so, she knew that the man in front of her was absolutely terrified as he said: âI think there might be some merit to the idea.â
He took a long sip of his coffee to hide his smile as Jude worried at her deformed ring finger.
âYou?â
Well, here goes nothing
âI was thinking about stopping my birth control,â she quietly said, trying not to let her heart leap at the slight quirk of his brows. âMaybe not actively trying but, yâknow, also not actively preventing.â
As soon as the words were out, she felt kind of panicked. Up until that point, everything theyâd doneâmoving in after they got pregnant, getting engaged, marryingâhad felt kind of inevitable. But having a second baby wasnât necessarily a foregone conclusion. Talking about it felt nerve-wracking, like they were actually moving to make their family a reality.
âYou want a kid with me?â Cardan sounded kind of awed, his jaw a little slack as he watched her.
âI have a kid with you, babe.â
âNo,â he held a hand up. âNo it was different with Faye. She wasnât planned, she just happened and we figured out how to make it work.â
He set his drink down and once again crossed the distance between them, digging in to her cocoon as he pressed his forehead to hers.
âDonât get me wrong, I love Faye with all my heart, sheâs the best thing thatâs happened to me,â he continued. âBut the idea that youâd be more than ok with, that youâd literally want a child with meââ
âDoes it shock you?â
He let out a small laugh, shaking his head as if to clear it before gazing up at her with love in his eyes. âYes, Jude Greenbriar. Yes it does.â
âWell it shouldnât,â she snorted. âI carried a little you once before and she turned out pretty damn cute.â
âI think Iâm going to need to hear you actually say it.â
She laughed, her head thrown back as the sound filled the kitchen. She wrapped her arms around Cardan and kissed his temple, holding him close and thanking the gods that theyâd made it to that point.
âYou need to hear me say what?â Jude teased, her grin contagious as Cardan looked up at her.
âJude, my darling my dear, my sexy little Hot Mama,â he started, dutifully ignoring how she dramatically protested at the nickname, âI need to hear you say that you want to have my child.â
Jude leaned forward, taking in the soft, earthy scent of him with a mischievous smile.
âCardan, my love my sweet, my amazing sexy husband,â she imitated him, tilting her head to drag her teeth across his jaw.
He leaned back, giving her the room to slide off the kitchen counter and into his arms. The blankets fell off her shoulders, exposing her to the cool air as she pressed herself against him, already feeling just how desperately he wanted her.
She let her hands wander the expanse of his chest, her fingers ghosting over his skin until she could reach around to the nail marks on his back. With a smile, she traced them, remembering how heâd earned those scrapes when he spread her legs open on the floor last night after theyâd given up on making it to the couch.
Cardan grabbed her by the hip, sliding one of his knees between her thighs and locking his eyes with hers as he waited with bated breath for her to finish.
Jude, not one to deny herself a good time, let the strap of her pajama shirt fall off her shoulder as she bit her bottom lip, leaned forward, and whispered--
âPut a baby in me.â
~~~~~~~~
A/N: Ok so a few things, one the tumblr app wouldnât let me copy and paste all the story on mobile so I had to retype some online so Iâm sorry if the format fucked up. Also I have a bunch of ideas for these kids so if you want to see any more of this AU, feel free to send in requests! Happy holidays @clockworkgraystairs , I hope you enjoy cute Parent!Jurdan doing cute adult shit!
Tag list: @cardan-greenbriar-tcp @hizqueen4life @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @thewickedkings @aelin-queen-of-terrasen @cheekycheekycheeks @queen-of-glass @b00kworm @doingmyrainbow @jurdanhell @thesirenwashere @illyrianwitchling @courtofjurdan @clockworkgraystairs @st00pid231 @booksandlewks @fateandluminary @addies-invisible-life If you want to be added, just let me know!
#jurdan#cardan greenbriar#jude duarte#tfota#tfota fanfic#tyrannosaurus lex writes#au#how we got here where we're going#hwghwwg#modern au#jurdannet secret snusband#secret snusband
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Hello! Just read through your Wine, Paint, or Blood series and I love it! You convert a tone that is so quietly powerful! Ad I can't wait for more. (Absolutely no pressure or anything,) but I just wanted to ask if you have any plans for Part 2 A Very Nic Christmas? Thank you so much for such a wonderful fic!
Thank you so much! I love writing Wine, Paint or Blood <3 I do have plans for more of A Very Nic Christmas, it's not actually finished yet but I'm dragging my feet a little lol. I also have two other JW wips on-going, A Dove's Dance With Wolves and its prequel When in Rome, do as the Camorra do which I've been focusing on a bit more lately.
I post my John Wick stuff over on my sideblog, bubble-bones (along with Cyberpunk/Bioware stuff!) Asks are ok there too <3
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The Viscountess, Chapter 3: Top of The Noble Game
Authorâs Notes:Â
*English is not my first language, so please pardon any typos/ grammar mistakesÂ
*All the characters minus my three OCs, Nicole, Anne and Isabelle, belong to Pixelberry studios.Â
*If this is the first time you stumble upon the series and are intrigued about this AU, feel free to check out the ficâs masterlist and my general masterlistÂ
Summary: Nicole receives a call that determines a new change on hers and Anneâs life, and her comeback to a privileged life.Â
Rating: PG-13Â
It was early in Monday when Nicoleâs phone rang, making her wake up from her morning routine of preparing Anne for school.Â
âDonât worry, Mama,â Anne said âI can adjust the skirt by myself. It looks important.âÂ
She ruffled her hair before getting the phone âYes?âÂ
âAh, Nicole, darling, so glad to hear from you!âÂ
âDad!â She whispered to Anne who was the caller and she beamed âsomething happened at Edgewater?âÂ
âNo, but it might,â he said, a teasing tone on his lips âremember the Fair Season for aspiring heiresses when you were young?âÂ
âI do, though they werenât my favorite events, if I may confess.âÂ
He chuckled âNeither they were mine. Youâre wondering why I bring this up, donât you?âÂ
She realized it before he could finish the sentence and hushed âIsnât she too young for a debut? I made mine at 11 and sheâs eight, Father. Eight!âÂ
âI know, but weâre a bit tight right now and debuts means charities, which leads to money. I presume you have chosen her other five names?âÂ
âI wanted to do so when she was born, but my husband died before I could even think about it.â She spitted, now her cheeks growing red. She could feel her father wince. He knew she was right. It was too soon and these nobles werenât dumb. âItâs too much and I havenât prepared her! You know it takes years to prepare her!âÂ
âI know, and I am sorry, but weâre short of time. Youâre intelligent, Nic, youâll figure it out.âÂ
âHow much do I have?âÂ
ââŠFive weeks.âÂ
During those five weeks, Nicole kind of drifted apart from what seemed her new life, preparing her daughter for her debut. She taught her history, English, French, math, and religion. She called her brothers to stay over to teach her biology and other subjects she wasnât good as them. After the lessons, sheâd teach her the antics of the First Debut: How to walk, the basics of ballet, to the sing-a thing that Anne exceeded due to sing in the shower- to have a polite conversation and to maintain her balance. They also went shopping, though they needed company for London was now different, so Hamid stooped in gladly. They walked now over the streets as Hamid tried to talk to her without flirting with her in front of Anne, for itâd be uncomfortable to her. Though some glances and smiles were stolen. He dared not mention yet the other night. It wasnât the time, Nicole had too much on her plate to think of what to make of a one-night-stand.Â
âSo, what else should buy?âÂ
âHer debutante dress. Though I adore my Summer Queenâs dress, I do not think Anne appreciates the 90s fashion.âÂ
âHm, I much prefer the 80s, indeed.â He teased, both chuckling.Â
âI do not want a dress, Mama!â Anne complained.Â
âNo? But everyone will be wearing a dress. What is wrong with dresses?â She asked, genuinely curious. Of course, sheâd respect her decision and support her, but itâd cause quite a stir on the debut âWould you like perhaps a skirt?âÂ
âNo. I mean, they are pretty and I like them, but theyâre not made for me. I donât have your marvelous legs.â She pouted âI have chickenâs legs!â
Hamid knelt âDonât be so hard on yourself, Anne! Your legs are great, chickenâs shape or not. I, too, had chicken legs, until I grew up, and look at me now!â He posed, making Anne giggle âAbsolutely flawless. Besides, dresses are for everybody, not just girls.âÂ
âReally?â She asked, curious.Â
âIndeed! In my culture, some men wear a kind of dress and theyâre just as manly as the ones in a suit. We call them kaftans.âÂ
âHow cool!â She beamed âBut I still donât want a dress. Grandpa wants me to look perfect and I want to make Grandpa happy. He always looks so distant and sadâŠâÂ
Nicole looked at Hamid, who winked at her and she smiled âWell, it is your debut⊠and your body, so⊠what do you want to wear?âÂ
They snooped over shops until she heard Anne gasp with delight. She looked at a Victorian model of a suit, with the seal of the crown carefully sewed and made of navy blue and bits of red and a Russian winter hat. Nicole looked for her size and the price, but when she saw it⊠she frowned.Â
Hamid, who wasnât trailing too far behind her, looked at her and asked âSomething wrong?âÂ
She showed him the price and he did seem surprised, but not as her âItâll break her heart when I tell her thatâ.âÂ
âNo need to, I will take it and you can pay me later.âÂ
Her eyes went wide at him and gasped âI could never ask that of youâŠâÂ
âIâm offering. Anything to make her smileâŠâ he whispered at her ear, really low âand to please you, perhaps win you. But especially to make that beautiful girl smile.âÂ
She chuckled with surprise before giving in, insisting that sheâd pay him back. He beamed before buying it. When Anne started talking and talking, without barely noticing them, he kissed her knuckles and smiled at her.Â
âAre you trying to win me over for a second date? Because itâs working.âÂ
He smiled âGood.âÂ
After more shopping âAnneâs first make-up tools (just some mascara and lipstick for little girls and a small nude paletteâthey went back to Nicoleâs house.Â
âYou go in, kid, I have to talk to Hamid.âÂ
She nodded, too happy to pay attention to her motherâs gaze and she turned to Hamid.Â
âSo⊠how about if we hang out after the debut and you stay over for dinner at my secret flat back in the village?âÂ
âYou have a secret flat?âÂ
âTo invite over guys like you without calling too much attention, especially in the night.â She whispered a mischievous tone in her voice, making Hamid lean and smirk.Â
âOooh, your special flat for rendezvous. I like it.âÂ
âYou see, being a single, widowed mum can be difficult. Especially when your grandmother wants you to remarry so your daughter doesnât miss out âa fatherâs loveâ.âÂ
ââŠWhat time do you want us to meet?âÂ
âLetâs say 02 am when even the maids are asleep? Those crones are easy to lull to sleep, especially when my sister-in-law Theresa starts talking and talking and talkingâŠâÂ
They both chuckled before they said goodbye.Â
The night before the debut, at Ernest Sinclaireâs townhouse.Â
âI think she should wear pink. I wore pink at my debut!â Roselyn mused as Isabelle tried not to roll her eyes. Ernest was aware that Isabelle wasnât at all fond of these events, but she was his only child and everyone was pressuring him, even his ex, to get her out of societyâhe had neglected her for too long now, and Richardsâs snide remarks werenât helping.Â
âRoselyn, while I appreciate the idea, all of the girls will be wearing their houseâs color. It is only fair she wears sapphire blue, red, and gold. Itâs what the tradition says, remember?â
âShe could wear all of them in different accessories! I can picture it now: red dress, golden earrings, blue make-upâŠâÂ
âDad, can you neglect my debut, like, when Iâm eighteen?âÂ
âTempting, but no,â He lowered his voice as Roselyn kept musing and wondering âbesides, I wouldnât let you out in society until you were at least thirty.âÂ
She whispered back âMake it sixty when Iâm all old and grey.âÂ
He chuckled âI highly doubt Iâll be alive by then but that can be arranged.âÂ
âI hope you both arenât trying to escape yet again for the debut!â Roselyn said, her voice raised and rather annoyed.Â
They both cleared their throat and Ernest said âWe were not! I was telling her that she should wear a blue dress, red earrings, and golden heels.âÂ
âDad, please!â She begged with her puppy eyes dog, but Roselyn kicked him out of the room before he could even breathe.Â
âThatâs it, Iâm planning it on my own!âÂ
âButâ.âÂ
Too late, for his ex-wife slammed the door shut in front of his face.
At Edgewater, that night.Â
âLook, Grandpa!â Anne beamed.Â
Vincent looked up with his attentive eyes to widen when he saw his granddaughter in her attire.Â
âSweetheart, you look positively regal, butâ.â
âNo buts, I like it and thatâs what Iâm wearing!âÂ
Dominique stormed into the room carrying too many dresses to drop them out of surprise. Anne smiled and twirled around âLook, Granny!âÂ
âMy goodness, what do you have on?â She asked, horrified.Â
âThe debutâs attire!â She beamed.Â
âIâŠIâŠI⊠NICOLE MARIANNE EMMA ELIZABETH FOREDALE, COME HERE!â She called, now clearly angry.Â
âYes, Grandmother?âÂ
âWhat the hell is my great-granddaughter wearing?!âÂ
âA suit.â She said, unbothered.Â
âSays who?â She crossed her arms.Â
âLet me see⊠Ah, yes, Armaniâs British Royalty collection.âÂ
âDonât you sass me now, young woman! This is serious! Itâs her debut and sheâ.â
ââŠIs comfortable and looking glamorous, that with the fact that the one who should have the last saying in my daughter, who I gave birth to eight years ago, is wearing. That and Dad approves and itâs all approbation I need and seek.âÂ
âButâŠbutâŠâÂ
âYou can help me choose the dress for the debut as long as you leave my daughter alone.âÂ
ââŠVery well. Seems like I wonât change anyoneâs mind about it, will I? Thank goodness we have hope next year with Harry and Theresaâs boy, Laurence, not to mention in two years with Edmundâs girl.âÂ
At the debutÂ
âMay I present Lady Anne Elizabeth Matilda Florence Foredale, Lady and heiress of Edgewater and her mother, Nicole Marianne Emma Elizabeth Foredale, escorted by our esteemed Earl of Edgewater, Vincent Fitzwilliam Edward Rupert Foredale and the Dowager Countess, Dominique Mary Elizabeth Katerina Foredale?â Arthur announced as everyone clapped.Â
Nicole heard too many gasps at Anneâs attire, not paying attention at her off-shoulder and teasing low-cut burgundy dress she wore. She could see Annabelle, Sinclaire, Hamid, and Luke clapping, beaming at Anne and with pride in their eyes.Â
She finally saw Ernestâs girl, with a beautiful blue sapphire dress, beautiful and rather expensive red earrings, and golden heels that seemed to be killing her feet. Ah, to be her age againâŠÂ Â
She greeted every single family and each member âMr. Sinclaire, Mrs. Richards, Miss Sinclaire.âÂ
They all shook hands âSo youâre the famous Nicole Donovan!â Mrs. Richards âPleasure to meet you, Iâm Roselyn, Isabelleâs mother.âÂ
They greeted each other before her attention drew to Isabelle, who she smiled âMy, you look just like your father.âÂ
She smiled âIâll take that as a compliment.âÂ
Ernest smiled, looking proud of his girl, rubbing her shoulders âWe are proud of the woman she is becoming, indeed.â He said.Â
âArenât you overwhelmed by being surrounded by so many women?â Nicole teased and he chuckled.Â
âNot at all. My darling girl is a blessing.âÂ
âBesides,â Roselyn said âI do not live with them anymore. I live in London with my husband Tristan and our son, Percival.âÂ
âOh! How old is he?âÂ
As Roselyn showed off her rather old husband âhe wasnât older than her fatherâErnest and Isabelle both looked uncomfortable as Nicole gawked at how adorable that baby boy was. She congratulated her on such a beautiful boy and wished her all the best in her marriage, ever the polite and proper woman.Â
âBy the way, I trust Isabelle will be dancing The Nutcracker with my Anne?â Nicole asked.Â
âYep!â Isabelle replied âIâm so excited! Iâve talked some times with Anne and she looks just like you and she is very kind to me.âÂ
âThen Iâm looking forward to a good friendship between our houses.âÂ
Ernest didnât seem to complain âOur families go way back, and from what Iâve seen, your girl sounds like a delightful kid.âÂ
She smiled widely âThank you, sir. I do my best for her to reach her potential in everything.âÂ
He looked at her, now with genuine interest and was about to say something when a piece of waltz music started playing and Roselyn excused herself to go find her husband and Isabelle promised her nephew Laurence a dance and she was about to do the same when she caught the sight of Anne and her father dancing, giggling and enjoying themselves.Â
âMay I have this dance, Mrs. Donovan?â Ernest asked.Â
She spun around abruptly, shocked by his request.Â
âOf course.â She took his hand and they both went to the center where his steps were graceful and elegant like he has done this a thousand times before.Â
His touch was warm, almost welcoming as they spun and moved around the dancefloor, his piercing blue eyes on her dark brown, unwavering, and almost intense. She gulped, suddenly nervous and a bit sweaty, feeling his warmth and his rather big hands moving her with superb elegance around the floor, his eyes never wavering from her. At the end of the song, he dipped her low, his eyes now on her collarbone and her eyes closed. She swore she heard him inhale sharply.Â
Everyone clapped and she took that as a hint to say goodbye. He nodded her goodbye before disappearing into the rather big ballroom.Â
âMay I have the honor of having this dance?â She spun around again to find the familiar bright smile of Hamid.Â
She smiled back and nodded, both starting to dance the famous Russian waltz. Though Hamidâs movements were graceful and with impressive flourishing, it wasnât just the same. She took that thought off her head and enjoyed the waltz anyways.Â
ââŠand then, just like that, the Marquess just threw his bourbon to his face, just because he made a wee comment about the shape of the dressâs cleavage! Everyone left afterward, simply scandalized by the jealous displays of the Marquess to the Marquis!â Theresa kept talking, much to Nicoleâs chagrin.Â
The children were already in bed and her father and grandmother retired to bed, their old age showing. Nicole faked a flawless yawn, one of her acquired accomplishments she got long ago.Â
âI donât know about you ladies, but with all the champagne and dancing, Iâm just beat. See you tomorrow at tea, though?âÂ
They all nodded and between air kisses exchanged and goodbyes, she went to her bedroom and turned off the light and took off her party clothes⊠to then skilfully change into the same-color lingerie and tight pants and an elegant shirt that had a teasing low cleavage and took off the sleeping doll that she bought when she was just 18 to sneak off to spend some hours with Alaric to return half an hour before the staff woke up. Of course, Briar sometimes caught her sneaking off, but so did she so they kind of saved the otherâs secret.Â
It was past midnight and she opened the secret door that existed ever since the Renaissance and caught her way downstairs, to the backyard and caught her discreet, large black coat and her anti-paparazzi sunglasses that would put in question who was marching towards the village at this hour of the night. She walked as she did, not making any noise so she wouldnât be noticed.Â
She grabbed the keys behind the pot and opened the door to then lock it and awaited by the window to see Hamid, who she sneaked a discreet note of where theyâd see each other.Â
She waited for fifteen minutes before she heard three sharp knocks. She got up and asked, âWhoâs calling?âÂ
âItâs me, Nic.â It was the code she asked him to use.Â
She opened the door and hurried him in and he observed the small flat: rustic, with romantic flowers and aphrodisiac food, scented candles that were confirmed it could feelings and then, behind a closed door, there was a room only illuminated by an old-fashioned lamp, probably by the early 1900s.Â
There was no signal of modern technology: itâs as if he traveled to a 19th-century small house. There was a small cabinet with curious diaries, old tomes no one could miss, and even a phonograph. All the desks were wooden and there was a small bathroom beside the bedroom. Nicole took care that everything would be unregistered and there was no trace of this whatsoever like they came here to disappear from a few hours. Like he traveled to another reality that she invented for them both. There were an ancient tea set and a small couch for two people only.Â
âItâs beautiful here, Nicole.âÂ
His eyes widened with surprise when she grabbed the lapels of his shirt and kissed him while driving him to the bedroom to then throw him to the bed âIf you want to frequent this, there are some rules: one, you do not speak of this room. Second, no photos or videos here. Third: no one leaves until both of us are satisfied. And fourth: you never leave this house after 10 am, for the staff is already awake and they could recognize any of us, is that clear?âÂ
He nodded, eager to have her all to himself in such a beautiful place. She kissed him and he let himself melt into the scene and the beautiful woman in his arms, enjoying himself for a few hours.Â
The night after the debut, Nicole heard a sharp knock on the main parlor, where she was teaching Anne how to take her tea when she was older enough to interact with the Queen. They all looked up to see Roselyn and an eager Isabelle, who greeted Anne and made a polite bow to Nicole.Â
âIâm not saying Iâm not pleased, but what brings you here today?â Nicole asked.Â
âWe were wondering if we could stay to persuade you on one thing.â Roselyn smiled.Â
âAnd what thing is that?â Anne asked, just as curious as to her mother or more.Â
âFor Anne to stay over our humble house in London next weekend!â Isabelle beamed.Â
âWe could be talked into it,â Anne said, trying to tame the talent to keep people on their toes.Â
âVery well. Come in, make yourselves comfortable.â Nicole said.Â
They chatted for a bit, laughing at their jokes and Isabelle played the piano as Anne sang, her melodic voice leaving Mrs. Richards in awe, her eyes wide, and a delighted smile on her face. This time, Nicole observed her better: she was really beautiful; deep light blue eyes, golden hair with rich locks, a nice body, and shiny skin, and her lips were quite small but tempting. She seemed petite, but beautiful nevertheless. She was indeed a beautiful woman. She couldnât blame Ernest for falling for her long ago.Â
âBravo, ma chĂ©rie! Marvelous!â She turned her attention to Nicole âYour daughter is a prodigy, Nicole. You must be proud,âÂ
âI am. Every day of my life.â She smiled.Â
âMaman, may I show Anne my collection on my iPad?â Isabelle asked politely to her mother.Â
âOf course, mon trĂ©sor. Go ahead,â She smiled at her. Then, she turned around and smiled at her âYou see, Ernest has been talking about you for some time and I just had to meet you! All he does is sing praises of you,âÂ
âDoes he now?âÂ
âNot everyone intrigues my husâmy ex-husband that way and in short notice.âÂ
âI am⊠nothing out of this world.âÂ
âAre you quite sure? Beautiful widow of an even more beautiful daughter who drifted away from nobility and then coming back after the death of your husband? You canât blame us for being intrigued.âÂ
Nicole felt her ears hot and cleared her throat âSo, um, tell me more about you! Iâm not the kind of woman who talks about herself all the time,âÂ
âModest! I like it. Well, I am thirty years old, and my children are Isabelle and Percival, as you know. I married five years ago my dear husband Tristan Richards after realizing that⊠while my marriage with Ernest wasnât unhappy, it didnât just work, and then Richards appeared and he thankfully understood that we werenât meant for each other. I am French but England has been my home for fifteen years now. I got married young, like you, though my wedding didnât have much fuss as yours. It was cute while it lasted. And now my Percival just turned six! Already a big boy!âÂ
âAn adorable one, Iâm sure,â Nicole said, as polite and proper as always.Â
âBut why are we talking about this poor old womanâs romantic woes! We came here to persuade you to let our girls sleepover together!âÂ
Nicole mulled over the thought before she pulled Anne aside and asked her âDo you feel comfortable around Isabelle?â She nodded âAnd do you think you can trust her?â She nodded again âDo you feel ready for a sleepover with someone outside of the family?â She nodded for the third time âIf you are⊠my darling girl, growing up so quickly. Your father would be proud of you and how brave you are pushing past horizons,âÂ
âYou think so?âÂ
Nicole smiled at her daughter, kissing her head gently âI do. With all my heart.â She turned around the expectant women âVery well. We buy it. Give me your number and we will talk it over if youâd like.âÂ
Roselyn beamed as Isabelle smiled contentedly and said âThis will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!âÂ
âI hope so.âÂ
#playchoices fanfiction#desire and decorum#desire and decorum au#the viscountess#oc: nicole donovan#oc: anne donovan#oc: isabelle sinclaire#ernest sinclaire#prince hamid#prince hamid x oc#nicole x hamid#earl vincent#dowager countess dominique#dominique foredale
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NIC OH MY GOD YOU AND YOUR FWB AU I-
okay so i decided to go for a reread and i do nOT REGRET AT ALL
itâs just so wonderful and iâm just now noticing Karaâs little tics in chapter 7 and then the talk in chapter 8 was absolutely brilliant and iâm just- the reread is so good and iâm just starting chapter 9 and diving directly into the angst but iâm so exciteddd!!! oh my gosh anyway i just came on here to profess my love for your writing skills because they. are. PHENOMENAL.
you and your words make me feel so many things and iâm sure many people will agree with me when i say your word choice and your word use is absolute brilliant!!! anyway wishing you a good day and also stay safe :)
arghhhhhh Iâm just sitting here absolutely flushing bruv. thank you for enjoying the fic so close to my heart!!!! I appreciate you taking the time to reread it & Iâm so happy it touched you
#at loss for words idk how to thank you enough for being generous with your praise#đ„șđđđđđđ#sending you hugs you have a lovely day too!! stay safe#asks
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Sweet Revenge
Pairing: Seokjin X Reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst
Word Count: 7,868
Summary: When the boy who taught you to dream becomes the one who shatters them, you decide that the only way to win is to beat him at his own game. Will you succeed, or will you fall for his beautiful eyes again?
[a/n]: This fic was so much fun to write. A huge thank you to the team over at FicsWithLuv for putting this wonderful project together!
Kim Seokjin was the biggest singer in South Korea. His influence reached out all over the world making him one of the most loved music artists of all time. He was a multi millionaire entrepreneur with a restaurant chain of his own and a fasion brand. Everyone loved Kim Seokjin almost as much as they feared him. He had so much power that he could ruin absolutely anybody's career in a matter of seconds.
That last feature about his wasn't an add on to the fame though. He had been capable of doing that for years as he had done with many people in his life. The most important one of those was you.
You were an absolute nobody. No one knew your name other than the old man at the grocery store and the landlord of your dingy apartment in the suburbs of Seoul. You had no friends, no family, no one to love but one man to hate. Kim Seokjin had ruined your life because he felt like it and now here you were, living in a room the size of a closet and having to do odd jobs to earn enough for each meal.
You and Seokjin went way back, all the way to when you were both six year olds, in the town of Gwangjeon. You were an orphan living in the local orphanage and Seokjin was the son of a strawberry farmer. He was part of your play group that met each evening at the local park.
Seokjin was also your first love. With his flawless skin and his beautiful voice, you had been in love with him for as long as you could remember. He was a city boy trapped in the body of a village kid. He was meant to be up there with the big names and the famous people.
You on the other hand were a simple girl with simple dreams. Your biggest goal in life was to have a house of your own and be independent. That's all you wanted from life, but Seokjin felt otherwise. He saw the talent in you and called you to his house often to practice singing together on his second hand piano.
Seokjin's family had no money but they still bought a piano. People often wondered how that happened but the answer was simple. Seokjin had a charm that was absolutely unrefutable. If he wanted something, he got it. It only took half an hour of begging and a few tears for Seokjin's father to borrow some money from a friend and buy him the piano.
You wrote and composed songs for the both of you to sing all through your childhood. Every time you went to divide the parts to sing, Seokjin always picked the best parts, saying that the piano was his and so he should get dibs on picking parts.
Both of your voices melded beautifully as you sang, filling the room with a serene vibe. As time went along, you slowly started falling for the beautiful boy who taught you how to sing. You practiced hard day in and day out, learning to play the instrument flawlessly while singing at the same time.
A few years passed and you joined the theatre group of your school. You were loved by everyone there and were given lead roles in every production. You even helped write and produce musicals for your group that you performed at the local theatre.
Seokjin, who initially had no interest in theatre, joined the group a year after you did and stole your thunder in a matter on minutes. His good looks and charming personality overruled your hardworking, sincere one. That didn't make you hate Seokjin though, you could never hate Seokjin.
It was towards the end of your senior year in highschool when the call for auditions for a large record label was announced. Both of you were extremely excited and practiced even harder, staying up all night at Seokjin's house.
When the auditions rolled by, you were well prepared as a duo with Seokjin. You both cleared the local round and made it to first the district and then the national level audition.
It was the night of the final audition when everything went down hill. The company had announced the both of you as winners and were planning to launch you as a duo when the MC faultered. He was called to the side and when he returned, it was announced that there was only one winner, and that winner was Seokjin.
You were confused but still happy for your best friend. You congratulated him as he accepted the trophy and boquet but he pretend like he didn't know you. Standing there confused, one of the judges placed a hand on your shoulder and looked at you sympathetically.
"That boy was able to covince the judges that you wouldn't make it far and that it would be a better investment to sign just him. I tried to convince them otherwise but I couldn't, I'm sorry" He apologised. You froze as you processed what the man had just said. Seokjin wouldn't do that, he was your best friend.
You approached him to talk about it but he ignored you again and never spoke to you after that day. With the cash price he received, his family moved to the city, leaving you in the town all alone with your friends because Seokjin was the only friend you had ever had.
The only nice thing he did for you was he left his old piano for you. You sat next to it for days and contemplated before finally deciding to play it. You wrote many songs about the pain and anguish that you felt. But the true betreyal you felt was the day you went to the local bar for the first time.
That day happened to be the day Seokjin debuted and his entire album was being played on the radio. You didn't have a radio back in your orphanage and you hadn't touched one since Seokjin so the one at the bar was the first one you'd heard in almost a year.
As the title track started playing, your eyes snapped open. It was a familiar tune and the words also sounded like you had heard them before. Of course you knew the words because it was the first song you had ever written, Seokjin sitting by your side as you penned it down.
It was also the song you both planned to sing together if you two won but that obviously never happened. The credits for the song were mentioned at the end. "Lyrics by Kim Seokjin" The radio jockey said, leaving your heart even more shattered.
You don't remember how much you drank that night. Fortunately some random guy who probably wanted a good fuck agreed to pay for your bill. You ended up sleeping with him but the only thing you remembered from the whole incident was waking up in his bed the morning after. You quietly left and headed back to your orphanage and packed up everything you owned along with the little money you had saved up and left.
You moved to Seoul and had the piano shipped to you. It was well worth it even though it cost you two weeks worth of dinner. You were used to not having three meals a day because your orphanage wasn't well funded and they could barely afford two meals a day for all the kids.
And so, after all of that, here you were, auditioning at companies big and small trying to make it into the industry. You had given up singing the day Seokjin debuted and had turned to rap. It was a genre that spoke to you. It was all about the struggle and the hard work. You became quite famous in the underground rap scene in Seoul but it wasn't a source of stable income.
After finishing your forty fifth audition, you stepped out feeling defeated. As usual, they had immediately recognised you from your first audition and denied you immediately. Apparently Seokjin didn't want you to make it big and had threated all companies from signing you.
Heading home, you prepared for the underground event that you had that day. The crowd cheered loudly as you got on stage. You had prepared a couple of songs but last minute, you decide to swap out the last track. One thing that you were most well know for was your freestyle rap. Instead of rapping the last track as you had planned, you told the organisers to call for Jackson.
In-house beat boxing expert Jackson Wang was a constant at your underground rap society. He was a trainee at a big company and was to debut as an idol but his heart longed for the gritty hip-hop scene and so your society was his escape. You told Jackson to give you a plain beat and you started freestyling.
You poured your heart out about how much you truly hated Seokjin and how he not only ruined your life but also broke your heart. The beauty of rap was that you could do diss tracks but you could also rap about your feeling and your audience would relate to it at some level or the other.
"Sorry for the rather sad ending, I'm not having the greatest of days but thank you so much for being a wonderful audience" You said before dropping your mic on the stage. It was a bit of a signature move for you at this point because you were the undefeated rap battle champion in your society and it was customary to drop the mic everyone you won a battle.
"Y/n, someone's here to talk to you" Mark, the head organiser said. You told him to let the person inside your makeshift green room. The whole setup of your rap scene was rather haphazard due to the lack of funds. You were the only artist with a private room as you were the most prominent of the performers.
"Good evening, I'm Lim Jaebum" The man introduced himself. He was dressed in a black suit with the 'GG' Gucci print all over and the two snakes on the back. Accompanying the outfit, he wore a two silver loops on each ear and fur lined Gucci loafers. Hip-hop culture included a lot of high end brands so you were good at spotting luxury clothing.
"Y/n y/l/n but you probably know me as Rani" You introduced yourself. Rani meant queen in Hindi and you picked the word for a simple reasonâyou wanted to show the world that you could be a queen without a man. It was your subtle way of hiding the scar that Seokjin left on your heart.
"Well, it's nice to meet you, y/n. I'm going to get to business right away. I have come with a proposal for you. I want you to work for me, as a professional rapper. I have a small studio in Seoul but I'm upgrading to a new building and I'll have a whole team dedicated to you" Jaebum said.
"And why are you picking me?" You asked, suspicious of the too-good-to-be-true offer. You were in no mood to be cheated by someone, you barely had enough money to survive.
"You see, I was close friends with a man named Bang Sihyuk a few years ago and we started a label together. After Kim Seokjin joined the label though, he was able to convince the company that they didn't need me because he wanted to be known as the person who made Seokjin the star he is. So I was fired from my own company. I know that you were friends with Seokjin, I'm the one who apologised to you that day for what happened. I want to use this opportunity to give both of us a second chance" Jaebum said.
You sat in silence for a moment, taking in everything that Jaebum had said. You had blocked out all memories from that fateful day so you weren't surprised you didn't recognize him. Weighing his proposition carefully, you asked him for a few days to come up with your answer and he gave you his card before leaving.
You didn't sleep well that night. Your eyes kept wandering back to Jaebum's card. In the end you caved in and called him, telling him that you had agreed to his offer. He called you to his studio the next day and you agreed.
Over the course of the next couple of months, month, you and Jaebum worked on your first album. He helped you produce some of the music while also working on the concept and the business side of things. You upgraded to a new building that was right next to the BigHit building, which was Seokjin's label.
Finally, six months after you met Jaebum, you debuted under Lunar Music as a solo rapper. You wanted to keep your stage name as Rani and Jaebum agreed. Your album sold out in no time and Korean news was talking about your comeback for days.
Old videos of your audition with Seokjin were brought up now and then but they were quickly blocked by you assume Seokjin or BigHit. People wanted to know about Korea's biggest star's ex best friend and interviewers always asked you about him. You politely told them that you both were acquaintances as you grew up in the same town but grew distant after he won the audition.
People also saw you as someone who was betrayed by the judges of the audition as you were first announced as the winner before they changed the verdict. All of that combined with your soulful and meaningful music led to you becoming the most popular female soloist in Korea over the course of a few months.
As your popularity grew, more and more people wanted to see you collaborate with Seokjin. They shipped you two together and wanted to see you two perform together. Whenever you were asked if you wanted to collaborate with him, you usually tried the best to change the topic and so did Seokjin.
Seokjin was sitting on the sidelines, watching your popularity grow. He was surprised to see you make it big in the industry, not that he doubted your talent but after all that had happened, he didn't expect you to comeback to music.
Avoiding Seokjin was hard, especially as you both became the top male and female artists respectively in Korea. You did your best though, and Jaebum helped a lot too. He made sure your paths crossed as rarely as possible.
So when he called one day and asked you to meet him in his office, you knew the news was not going to be good. You finished practice quickly and finished up whatever work you had before heading to the top floor.
"You need to perform with Seokjin. There is a charity ball coming up and getting called as the main act is a huge deal. It's one of the most exclusive events in the country. I tried negotiating with them and so did BigHit but the organisers are adamant that you two must perform together" Jaebum explained. You sat quietly in front of him for a few minutes before replying.
"I'll do it. If you say it's that important, I'm sure it is and I'm not going to let that idiot ruin it for me. Just make sure that it fits into our schedule. I'm not compromising on my practice for this event. Comeback season is soon approaching, Jaebum" You saw your best friend visibly relax as the words left your lips.
Two days later, you met the organisers at the venue and finalised everything. You ended up hiring a dance studio due to the fight that broke about between Jaebum and Bang Sihyuk on which company's dance studio should be used for practice. After long conversations with Seokjin's producer, you finalised the medley that you were going to perform.
The day of your first practice, you arrived a few minutes early. You set up the music and started doing stretches. You were bending down to touch your toes when you heard someone whistle behind you. Turning around, you saw Seokjin leaning against the door frame with a smug smile on his face.
"You really cleaned up well, didn't you? No one would guess that you were an orphan from a small town in the middle of nowhere" You scoffed as you finished stretching. It felt as if Seokjin had taken it upon himself to irritate you from the very beginning.
"I may have but it looks like you haven't. Apparently fame and money doesn't teach one manners. You're just as crude as all those years ago" Seokjin pushed himself off the door frame and turned the speaker on and listened to the draft track that you two were to perform.
"It needs something intimate. The dance needs to be sexy, almost erotic" Seokjin noted and you didn't want to, but you had to admit. The medley was slow and powerful so a sexy dance would compliment it well.
"If that's a way to get into my pants, you should know it's not going to work" You replied and Seokjin placed a hand on his chest, looking fake scandalised. You started working on the choreography once you were done making jabs at each other.
Within the next two days, the choreography was ready and you both started practicing vocals. The medley had Seokjin singing and you rapping over him and so it needed a lot of practice with both of you present, much to your dismay.
"Something is missing. Couldn't you come up with a good medley at least on your own?" Seokjin complained. You rolled your eyes at him as you replayed the track from the beginning.
"At least I make my own music. Your producer does everything for you. He approved this and so you should just accept it. He made your career" You retorted and Seokjin chuckled.
"I made my own career, love. Pdogg hyung is just helping by giving me music to sing. I would have been famous with just my gorgeous looks" He was seriously getting on your nerves. His comment made you think back to all the nights you and Jaebum spent together putting your first album together. You were so grateful for his help. You couldn't believe that Seokjin had become this spoilt.
The Seokjin you knew was a humble boy with big dreams. He wasn't this overconfident, arrogant man that sat in front of you. You were somewhere glad that you had come all the way here the hard way as it kept you grounded.
Dance practices with him were the worst. It involved his hands on your body a lot and Seokjin didn't pass a single chance to whisper snarky comments in your ears. You were so happy the day of the last rehearsal before the event that you took Jaebum out for drinks even though you hate drinking.
The night of the fundraiser you were getting dressed backstage when Seokjin barged into your room. You screamed in shock as you covered yourself up with a towel nearby. You were in just your underwear, about to slip on your dress for the night.
"Get out!" You shouted at Seokjin but he just stood there, staring at your body. You saw his eyes wander to the scars on your legs and the scratches all over your body. Living on streets did that to you. It was cruel world that you used to live in before Jaebum saved you.
"Are you okay? I heard you scream" Jaebum asked as he stepped into the room and saw what was going on. He quickly stood in front of you, blocking you from Seokjin.
"I thought she asked you to get out" He said in a firm tone and Seokjin finally got the message and left. Jaebum promptly closed the door and stood outside it to make sure no one came in. When you were finally done, you called him inside.
"I'm so sorry that happened. I'll need get you some personal security or something to make sure that doesn't happen again" Jaebum ranted and you placed a finger on his lips. He looked down at you in shock as you smiled at him.
"It's okay, Jaebum. It wasn't your fault. I think the lock on the door isn't working, just get the people here to fix it" You comforted him before calling your makeup artist and hairstylist in to finish your look. Jaebum stood next to you the whole time, ashamed that he had allowed something like this to happen under his watch.
"You are on in five" The stage hand let you know and you grabbed your in ears and mic and stood in your position. Seokjin and you would be entering from opposite sides of the stage and so you were glad you didn't need to see his face before getting on.
The MC announced your performance and the lights dimmed in the auditorium. The soft R&B music flowed from the speakers and you stepped onto the stage. Seokjin started off by humming a bit of the melody before starting his verse. You waited for your cue to start rapping and in the mean time concentrated on getting the choreo right.
You had decided on a bit of an unconventional choreo. Both of you agreed that it needed to be sensual but you decided to make it a little different. You were dressed in a black suit and Seokjin was wearing a flowy white shirt that showed off his collarbones, black leather pants and white high heels. It was a sort of role reversal choreography.
Seokjin sang his lines in a high pitch and used his falsetto liberally while you rapped in a low harsh tone, the two sounds complimenting each other. Convincing him to do this was hard but you really wanted to make an impact. Breaking stereotypes was something you loved to do and after a few conversations, you were able to convince him.
You expect that after your performance, you'd get backlash for the unconventionality but the Korean media loved it and called you the idols of the new decade. This only cause you both to get paired up more by the public. One thing they all noticed was your undeniable chemistry.
Seokjin and you had both started off together and your most loved quality even as aspiring musicians was your chemistry. Being childhood friends made you both inseparable. Some of that was still left somewhere and could be seen on stage when you performed together.
Event after event that came up forced you two to perform together and you just couldn't deny them because of how important they were to your career. Even Jaebum was getting annoyed with how much you had to perform with Seokjin. You comforted him saying that it was your choice.
Since the day of the fundraiser though, Seokjin was a lot nicer to you. He was much more gentle and tried not to pass comments about your time after the audition and before your debut when you were on the streets. You appreciated his effort and tried to be less snarky as well.
Your comeback was coming up and so the performances with Seokjin took a backseat as you were busy promoting your album. Even though you were excited that you were ready to release your new album, something felt missing. You spent your days smiling for the camera and wondering about what was wrong. You finally got fed up when you couldn't come up with an answer and took Jaebum out for drinks to clear your mind.
"I feel like something is missing, Jae. It's been bothering me quite a bit. I can't concentrate on anything" You confessed to him. Jaebum looked confuse but he kept quiet for a moment before something clicked.
"You're missing Seokjin, aren't you?" He teased. Your immediate response was to deny the allegation made against you. You chugged the remainder of your drink before slamming it onto the bar.
"Of course not. Why in the world would I miss that idiot?" Jaebum sighed as he closed his eyes and proceeded to chuckle, leaving you confused. You weren't drunk, a bit tipsy but not drunk. You wondered what Jaebum was laughing at when he spoke.
"I thought I had a chance but it looks like he still had your heart. You can deny it as much as you want but you'll see" He said before getting up and taking you home. You kept quiet during the entire car ride contemplating what Jaebum had said.
"You had a chance? Wait a minute, do you like me, Jae?" You said as he opened the door to your apartment and guided you inside. He smiled at you sheepishly and scratched his neck.
"I do but I didn't try anything because I knew you saw me as an older brother or best friend. Now that I know that you still like Seokjin, I won't do anything I promise. I've learned to cherish you as my best friend and co-worker for so long, I'm okay doing it for the rest of however long we know each other" Jaebum said. At that moment you were incredibly grateful to have a friend like him. He saved you from your old life and gave all of this to you and cared about you so much. You gave him a tight hug before bidding him goodbye.
The more you thought about what Jaebum, the more you realised the truth in what he had said. You had developed a soft spot for Seokjin. Ever since the fundraiser incident and him becoming nicer to you, you saw hints of your old best friend show through the arrogant mask that was Seokjin's superstar personality.
Deep down both you and Jaebum knew that you still loved him. He was your first love after all. He had carved a soft spot for himself in your heart all those years ago. You were still struggling to come to terms with the fact that you still cared about him but it was true and you knew that.
You checked your schedule out of boredom. Album promotions were almost over and you were restless. You wanted to know what was up next. The previous day when you checked the calendar that you and Jaebum shared it only showed comeback performances. You scrolled to the bottom of the page to find a new addition.
It was a show scheduled a week after the end of your promotion period with a little note attached saying 'you can thank me later'. You were confused but when you rechecked the entry you realised it said 'show with Seokjin'. Jaebum truly was the greatest friend you could ever ask for.
It was finally the day of the practice for the upcoming show after you were done with your comeback. You were super excited to finally meet Seokjin again though you tried not to show it. You went to a convenience store on your way to grab some stuff for both of you to eat between practice. You spotted some of Seokjin's favourite candy and bought it. He hated to admit it but he had quite the sweet tooth.
You reached the studio and dropped the food in the corner before heading to the washroom to take your makeup becausese you hated dancing with it on. When you returned, you were about to open the door to the practice room when you noticed that it was ajar. You thought that Seokjin would have come in and would have forgotten to lock the door but then you heard a weird sound coming from inside.
It was the sound of kissing and you peeked through the crack of the open door to see Seokjin passionately kissing a woman that you recognised as his assistant. You stood their in shock as you saw them devour each others face. When you finally came back to your senses, you barged into the room as if nothing had happened.
Seokjin's assistant immediately got off of him and slipped out of the room. You walked over to the bag of food and looked down at it in disgust. Your naĂŻve heart had fallen for him but had forgotten to consider if he even liked you in the first place. Seokjin saw you staring at the bar and walked over.
"This all of my favourite stuff, did you buy it for me?" He asks, his voice laced with surprise. You felt the tears building up in your eyes and willed them to stop. You weren't going to look weak in front of Seokjin.
"No I didn't, they are for Jaebum" You hissed at him before picking up a bottle of water from it and chugging half of it. You moved to the speaker to start playing the music when Seokjin spoke.
"That CEO of yours? He looks like a love sick puppy whenever he's around you. Did you sleep with him to get him to sign you? Because honestly it always feels he cares more about you than your talent" Seokjin gritted, his voice full of venom. You were taken aback for a second before the anger creeped up.
"Dare you say a word against that man. He saved me from my life on the streets where I worked five jobs just to pay rent. Most days I didn't know if I had enough money to buy food. He fixed what you broke. He is a true friend, better than you ever were" You shouted before grabbing your coat and bag and storming out of the studio.
You drove down to Jaebum's house and knocked the door impatiently. When he opened the door he was shocked to see you standing there. He was about to ask you about the practice but you raised your hand, signalling him not to.
Walking into his house, you went to the kitchen and dropped the bag of food on the counter before heading to the fridge. You grabbed two bottles of beer and a bottle of soju. Using the opener on his fridge, you opened the beer and chugged the whole thing in one go. Jaebum stared at you in disbelief as he watched you down the bitter liquid.
You passed the other beer to him before grabbing two shot glasses and pouring soju into both. You held one of his hands open and forced him to clink glasses with you before you downed it. You were about to down a second shot when Jaebum came to his senses and grabbed your hand.
"What's going on?" He asked, worried. You just stared him in the eye for a silent minute before crashing your lips into his. He stood their, shocked as you tried to kiss him. You tried to tongue at his lips but they stayed in a seam. The alcohol was getting to your head. You finally got angry due to a lack of response and pulled yourself away from him.
"Kiss me, Jaebum" You said but he pushed you away. You looked at him, confused and saw the pain in his eyes. Regret instantly filled you as you realised what you were doing. You were trying to take advantage of his crush on you and breaking his heart in the process. You kneeled on the floor as you felt your world crumbling and sobbed harshly, tears rolling down your cheeks.
Jaebum knelt down next to you and pulled you into a tight hug, making you cry harder. You felt like the worst friend in the whole world. Because of you, not only was his reputation being tarnished, you were hurting him too. He let your cry into his shoulder for what felt like hours before guiding you to his bedroom and laying you down on his bed.
"Tell me what happened, y/n" Jaebum said and you finally had the guts to look him in the eyes. You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down before speaking.
"I went grocery shopping before practice today thinking I'd surprise Seokjin with his favourite stuff because after what you told me, I realised you were right. But what I didn't expect was to walk in on him making out with his assistant. When I went to leave, he asked if I had to sleep with you to get you to sign me because you like me and I was so angry that he said something like that against you. I'm sorry, Jaebum. Sorry for being the worst friend ever, for letting him talk shit about you and for hurting you. If you don't want to see me ever again, I'll just leave" You said between all the tears.
"Y/n, listen to me. First of all, I don't think he said all that to put me down. He did it to make you feel bad. Honestly I don't give a fuck about what that idiot has to say about me. I am hurt that you tried to get me to kiss you knowing that I'm weak for you but it's okay. I know what you are going through is hard and you need to let it out. I was an idiot and didn't realise that he could be dating someone and told you all that nonsense. You're not the bad friend here, it's me who hurt you. You're the most amazing friend I could have ever asked for, don't forget that" Jaebum comforted you.
You ended up sleeping over at Jaebum's place that night. You had fallen asleep after all of the drama the night before in Jaebum's bed and so he slept in the guest bedroom. When you woke up the next morning, you say a plate and a note on the bedside table. Jaebum had made breakfast for you and apologised for being able to be home to comfort you because he had an urgent meeting.
You went back home and took a long shower. You tried your best not to think about Seokjin and instead thought about to concepts for your next album. It was ironic how you were now back to square one with Seokjin. You didn't want to look at his face for a while but you somewhere deep down you knew that your heart still craved his attention.
The practice sessions became more cold after the whole ordeal. You walked in just in time and walked out the moment you were done. Seokjin was confused at your change in attitude but at least refrained from commenting about it. Once the performance happened, you told Jaebum to not book any shows with him for a while.
The problem was, even though you weren't seeing Seokjin anymore, you still though about him, a lot. The songs you wrote went from harsh and dark to sappy and lovesick. Your songs were all about your friendship with him and the love that you still have for him. You didn't your leave your studio for days trying to write something that wasn't about and failed miserably. In the end Jaebum had to drag you out of there to get you to eat.
Shows during this time also refused to let you perform without Seokjin. BigHit pressured your company to work with him to get them shows as well. Even though both of you were huge acts on your own, the Korean public wanted you in the same way you started, as a duo. All of this made you more frustrated resulting in you not getting enough sleep and not eating properly.
Day five of sitting in your studio without getting out you heard a knock on the door. You groaned expecting it to be Jaebum about to lecture you to get out and get some sunlight. You shouted for him to go away but the knocking continued. Cursing under your breath you pushed away from your table and opened the door.
There stood Seokjin in all his glory looking shocked at your state. You were at least a few kilos skinnier than he last saw you, dark circles prominent under your eyes and your haired mused. Your eyes widened as you realised it wasn't Jaebum who had come to meet you but Seokjin. In your panicked state, you tried to slam the door of your studio shut but Seokjin was able to slip a foot between the door and the frame, keeping it from closing.
"Wait, y/n. I need to talk to you" Seokjin said as you sit back in your chair and out your headphones on. He finds a chair and sits next to you and stares at your face. You tried hard not to look at him but he yanked your earphones away and forced you to look at him.
"Why are you doing this to yourself? Jaebum called me and told me that you hadn't gotten out of your studio in days. Are you planning to starve yourself to death?" He ranted angrily. You scoffed and folded your hands, narrowing your eyes.
"When did the Kim Seokjin start caring about a mere mortal soul like mine?" You muttered and saw Seokjin's eyes soften. It was one of the few times you caught a glimpse of the Seokjin you fell in love with all those years ago, your Jinnie.
"I always cared about you y/n" He said.
"Then why did you ask them to change the result? Why did you let me live on the streets? Why did you leave me alone and chase success? I thought we were a team, Seokjin. I was there for you all along and at the last moment you ditched me and took the spotlight for yourself, leaving me behind for the world" You gritted and Seokjin's eyes watered. He looked down at the ground as wipes his eyes before looking back at you.
"There's a lot from that day that you don't know, y/n?" He stuttered. Seokjin, for the first time since you knew him, look scared. He looked like he was terrified for the truth and of telling you what happened. You gulped but stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue.
"I still remember the first time we met, when we were six. You wore an old blue dress with no shoes and your hair tied in a messy ponytail. You were so captivating even back then. I had heard you sing to the small kids at the orphanage when you were eight and fell in love with your voice. That's why I dragged you to play the piano with me. I was jealous of your talent too and so I picked the nice parts and you still managed to sing better than me. Over the years we were friends I realised I was slowly falling for you.
Fast forward to the auditions and we reached the finals. Just before the results were announced, I went backstage to use the washroom when I overheard a conversation between one of the executive producers and Bang PDnim. Sihyuk found you attractive and said some horrible things about what he wanted to do to you and I was terrified. That's when I barged in and asked them to change the result to just me.
He fell for the argument that you would be bad for the company and that I was the better bet and he changed the results. I wanted to explain things to you but by the time I was done you were gone. I tried contacting you but to no avail. I left the piano back on purpose so that you could use it and one day make it on your own. If anyone had a better chance at being a singer it was you.
Somewhere along the way I started to believe myself that I was better. That's why I didn't think twice before including your song on my album. I was an idiot and asshole for doing that but the fame was getting to me. I still loved you somewhere deep down in my heart and even though I put that song in there for myself, I thought of you every time I heard it.
That's why I was so happy to see you come back with a vengeance. I knew that the whole situation would make you hate me but I knew you were stubborn and would shine brighter than I ever could. But what changed everything was the day I saw all those scars. I knew life would be tough for you once I left but I didn't expect to see all of that. I couldn't help but hate myself for being the one to cause you not only emotional hurt but also physical pain.
It may still not make sense why I cared for you more than me loving your voice but you meant more to me than you might ever know. You accepted me for myself. I was popular cause I got people what they wanted. No one cares about the real Seokjin. But you, you listened, you helped and you smiled. Your smile made my day back then and still does. You carved a space for yourself in my heart and it still exists.
I know I've been the world's worst friend and this is probably the worst way to confess my undying love for you but I don't think there is going to be a better opportunity to explain it all to you. I know it's a lot, so take your time with it. Also Jaebum told be about you walking in on me and Hwasa and how you were mad about it. That girl had been trying to get in my pants for a while and she had the audacity to kiss me. I fired her that day itself. It wasn't just you who had been waiting for practice that day, y/n" Seokjin said.
He placed a bag on your table before giving you a soft smile and stepping out of the studio. You sat there, overwhelmed by everything Seokjin had just said. You opened the bag to distract yourself and inside was some jajangmyeon, which happened to be your favourite along with a small note that read 'call me'. You were absolutely starving and hastily devoured the food.
A couple of hours later Jaebum came in to check on you. Seeing the empty containers of food and you sprawled over the couch in the studio made him smile. He walked over to you and you looked up at him, your eyes watering. He immediately sensed something was wrong and crouched down next to you.
"Should I have not called Seokjin? Do you need me to beat his ass up?" Jaebum asked but you shook your head. You placed a finger on your lips, asking him for a little bit of silence and he complied but didn't leave your side. He instead pet your head gently, just how you liked it when you were upset.
"He said a lot of things that I'm mad he didn't tell me earlier. He saved me and I hated him for it. I still love him and I want to start over but I'm scared to lose him again, Jae. What should I do?" You questioned. Jaebum leaned over and picked up the note he had seen on your table and stuck the post-it to his forehead before cupping his hands under his chin in a flower-cup motion. Jaebum hated doing ageyo but he would do anything for you.
The words 'call me' lingered in the back of your mind but it took you two days to finally have the courage to call him. You waited impatiently for him to pick up the call and he didn't disappoint you. He picked up the call after the second ring.
"Hey" He said and a small smile grew on your face as you heard the nervousness in his voice that mirrored your own. You took a deep breath before replying.
"Hey, can we meet?" You asked and Seokjin immediately agreed, asking you to meet him at a local café that evening.
You arrived ten minutes early as the nerves were getting to you and you just couldn't sit at home. You asked for a glass of water as you rehearsed what you were going to say to him. You totally did not call Jaebum at the last moment and recite your confession to him. You were a little guilty for doing that but Jaebum assured you that it was okay.
When Seokjin finally entered the café, he found you sitting at the back, scrolling through your phone. You hadn't noticed him to he took the opportunity to order some drinks and proceeded to sit in front of you at your table. You looked up at him from your phone and smiled nervously as he sat down.
"Do you want to order some-" You were cut off by the waitress bringing an iced americano and a peach ice tea to the table. He remembered your favourite drink and ordered it for you. You were a little surprised but you just smiled as you sipped your tea.
"So, you wanted to talk?" Seokjin prompted. He knew you well to the point where he remembered how you were really bad at initiating conversations about things you didn't really want to talk about. Your cheeks warmed as you processed his gesture and nodded.
"I like you too, Seokjin. And I want to give us a try if you want to" You mumbled. There was a beat of silence before a mix of joy and disbelief bloomed on Seokjin's face. He looked in your eyes for even a trace of humour but found none.
"Are you serious?" He asked, absolutely dumbfounded at your confession. He had completely prepared himself, thinking that you were going to tell him that you never wanted to see his face again. You just smiled and nodded.
"There are a lot of things we need to catch up on and I still haven't forgiven you for everything but I like you, a lot, and I really want to give us a shot" You said, now more confident.
Seokjin could barely process what was going on and so he got up and pulled you into a tight hug, muttering promises about being better. When he finally let go of you, he saw a genuine smile on your face that he hadn't seen in years. He dragged you out of the café before cupping your cheeks with both his hands and pulling you towards him.
The kiss was soft and chaste but the electricity flowing through your veins was undeniable. You pulled away before intertwining your fingers with his and placing a kiss on the back of his hand. You had found love once again and somehow it was still the same as all those years back, broken yet perfect.
#ficswithluv#fwl project#luv library#magicshopnet#mygsnet#rainbowbtsnet#bts fic#bts#bts fanfic#kpop fics#bts fluff#bts fanfction#bts angst#bts seokjin#bts jin#bts jhope#bts jeongguk#bts jimin#bts namjoon#bts yoongi#bts taehyung
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Sword and Pen Reread, chapter 17
Will I finish these this year? Hmm...
And the ephemera is... *screams* SANTI IN CASE OF DEATH LETTER! Caine, you are horribly cruel to put this here when it will be another few chapters before we see that Santi is safe. Not as vicious of a stab in the heart as the Wolfe letter in Ash and Quill, but still.
What to even make of this first bit. Santi loved Wolfe at first sight. Heâs never told Wolfe this. Heâs not sure whether Wolfe is aware of that or not. Really, Niccolo Santi, WTF are you doing? Given that aside from trauma-related issues, we otherwise see good communication from these two, itâs interesting that they never talked about this. Think Iâll be headcanoning Wolfe having Opinions on the stupidity of love at first sight, which would discourage Santi from admitting to it. (Nevermind that what Santi means here is much more likely attraction than the actual love that it developed into.)
âI assume you noticed. Then again, youâve always had a terrible opinion of your own attractiveness, so maybe you didnât.â So Santi presumably didnât go up to Wolfe and confess his interest right away, but he was very obviously infatuated.
So why was it âself-evidentâ that Santi was in love with Wolfe? Obvious dopey teenager in love behavior? Or did Santi take one look at Wolfe and pop a boner?
And poor Wolfe, so sure he isnât attractive that he might not even have realized that he was the reason Santi was drooling/blushing/trying very hard to hide an erection?
Now, add this in with what else we have on how they met. Thereâs that line in Ink and Bone about them meeting as postulants. Thereâs Stormcrow. Those two already donât line up. My own headcanon? Postulant Santi was obviously infatuated with Postulant Wolfe, but Postulant Wolfe was oblivious, because they were disasters like that. Santi spent three years pining over the sexy Scholar he never worked up the nerve to ask out before graduation, Wolfe remained oblivious and absorbed in his work, then they finally became a couple when they met again in Russia. (My fic exploring some of this here)
But there are other options! This is a perfectly good excuse to say Stormcrow isnât canon or that Wolfe is lying quite a bit in Stormcrow. They met and got together as postulants. (Absolutely adorable fic for that option here)
Or write off the Ink and Bone line as an editing glitch and this fits very well with Stormcrow, in which Wolfe is a bit slow to pick up on the fact that Santi is interested in him and Santi is pretty clearly into Wolfe right from the start.
Or maybe Wolfe was aware of Santiâs interest in him as a postulant, but in the 3 years between school and meeting in Russia, Santiâs appearance and/or gender changed significantly enough that Wolfe didnât recognize him right away in Russia. (Smoking hot Trans!Santi fic of that option here)
Santi is still struggling with the urge to grab Wolfe and run away somewhere safe, but he wonât do it because he respects Wolfe too much. As usual, Santi listens to Wolfe. âI know that youâd just shout at me to go back to what I do best.â (does it count as a Wolfe vs Santi when Santi is having an imaginary argument with Wolfe? Meh, I lost count on those ages ago, anyway.)
Santi is pessimistic about the battle and struggling with guilt over Murasaki. Emotionally, heâs already having a hard time, and thereâs more to come. Post-canon, Santiâs going to need support.
âI know you will try to look after yourself and those around you, because thatâs who you are.â Santi sees right through Wolfeâs uncaring bastard act.
âI love you. Even if I canât be with you, I will never leave you.â My heart, omg. Very similar sentiments to Wolfeâs letter. Both express love and appreciation of each other and an expectation of their love lasting beyond death. Wolfeâs was clearly more carefully written; Santiâs is a quick note written in a hurry. Did Santi not have one on file already? Was it destroyed when he left the Library? Was this one an addition to what he already had written?
Anyway, Thomas time! Problem solving under pressure.
My inner whumper canât help but look at Thomas struggling to solve puzzles while poisoned and wonder if there are any parallels between this and the way he worked on designing automata in Rome. Hurt, frightened Thomas making himself focus on problem solving.
Thomas would rather die than let Jess die. Sweet baby.
Lots of scrolls here. Heron had quite a bit that he wanted to hide from the library. And this was back when the Library was just getting started. Obviously, the system has been corrupt all along. Itâs just gotten worse and worse over time.
Dead Elites in the first room of the tomb appear to have been killed by a mix of tomb traps and battle wounds. Somebody sent sphinxes after them. Morgan? Did she track Thomas and send help for him after all? This is my new headcanon and I am not letting go of it for anything.Â
But also, could have been sphinxes attacking on Santiâs orders, possibly with troops that left after the fight. Could have been the fighting with the Russians just happened to get that far (templeâs been bombed, after all).Â
Normal High Garda uniforms are black (or camo, but black seems like the default), Elites wear red, symbolism of the rain making Zaraâs uniform look almost black here is nice.
Thomas doesnât trust Zara, but he does try to help when he sees sheâs wounded. And she tells him all about the ex-Archivistâs plans. This is such an interesting parallel with the way chapter 16 ended. The Elite captain, shot by Wolfe; Zara, shot by the ex-Archivist. Wolfe and Thomas both suggest getting the wounded enemy to a Medica. The Elite captain and Zara both divulge information about the ex-Archivistâs plans.Â
But then thereâs the contrast of Dario stabbing the Elite captain while Thomas tries to help Zara. And while the Elite captain does tell the pack about one part of the ex-Archivistâs plan (we know heâs plotting to have the whole pack killed), itâs framed misleadingly as the ex-Archivistâs ultimate goal. Zara tells Thomas the real goal: destroying the Archives. The Elite captain gloats even as heâs being killed. Zara admits she was wrong and apologizes as she dies.
âTell Nic Iâm sorry.â Fuck itâs going to hurt when Santi hears this.
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La Giraffa (a fic inspired by Martinoâs picture on Instagram)
La giraffa ha il cuore lontano dai pensieri. Si e innamorata ieri, e ancora non lo sa
When Martino had first read that text from Nico, none of it had made any sense to him. It had taken him over a half a year to realise the meaning behind those words. He had been going through texts between Nico and him because the longing inside him had grown unbearable. Nico was studying in a university in Milan while he was still in Rome, finishing his last year of high school. They only saw each other on the weekends if neither of them were too busy with school work, which, unfortunately, was too often the case.
     âNext stop, Milan!â shouted the speaker on the train and Martino was forced to wake up from his thoughts. Well, to be honest, it didnât bother him one bit. It had been three weeks since he had last seen Nico and he couldnât wait any longer to see his face and to hear his voice.
     Milan held many memories for Martino and Nico. Even though that night had made Martino more scared than he had ever been before, he didnât want to forget all the good things of it. As it is said, the good things often top the bad things.
     The university in which Nico was studying was a big and old building. There were still some students going around the campus, even though it was a Friday evening. The sun was shining directly on Martinoâs face and his hair, which made his hair shine as if it was made out of gold. Martino got up to the studentâs apartments and made his way to the building that Nico was living in. To his surprise, the door to his apartment was wide open and there were noices coming from the inside. He got up to the door and almost bumped into an unkwown person hurrying from the apartment.
â Oh sorry, Martiâ, the woman in front of him said and smiled. She had dark, brown hair and the widest smile Martino had ever seen, obviously apart from Nicoâs. Nicoâs smile was the widest and the most heart warming thing Martino had ever seen. And he would do anything to get to see it as often as possible.
âIâm Natasha, by the way. Nicoâs flatmateâ. Natasha then offered her hand and Martino shook it, now smiling too.
âIâm Marti, as you already seem to knowâ.
âYeah, I have heard a lot about you. I feel like I know you already!â Martino looked at Natasha a bit confused, still smiling. Had Nico talked about him? What had he talked about? Martinoâs train of thought got stopped once again when Natasha told her that she needed to catch a train to Bracciano. She was going to visit her parents. They said quick goodbyes and Martino made his way into the apartment.
     Martino had been in the apartment a couple of times before already. It wasnât that big, but it was still cosy. The lights in the hallway were turned off and the sun shone inside through the windows making shadows on the walls. Martino headed for the kitchen. It was all very clean and the dishes had been washed, to Martinoâs surprise. Normally he was the one cleaning. But then again, it could have been Natasha who had washed them, and not Nico. How would he know, he didnât even know her. He had literally just met her for the first time. Next to the kitchen were two doors: one to Nicoâs room, and the other to Natashaâs. The doors were built similarly, but that was the only thing similar about them. Natashaâs door had only her name written on it, whereas Nicoâs door was full of drawings and texts. One of the drawings was a giraffe, with two people riding it. On top of it it read âthe last men on earthâ.
     Martino opened the door to Nicoâs room carefully, not wanting to scare him. He was supposed to be there two hours later, but he had taken the earlier train because he couldnât handle being without Nico for another two hours.  Nico was on his table with his headphones on, only the table lamp on. Yet it wasnât dark, because the blinds were open. The rays of the sun shone directly at Nicoâs back. It made his whole body look angelic, his black curls to beam brightly. Martino could see that Nico was drawing something judging by the way his hands were moving. They were moving smoothly, as if drawing lines. Martino approached Nico and looked over his shoulder in order to see what he was drawing. He couldnât take a closer look at the drawing, because the table lamp made a shadow of his face on the paper and Nico noticed that someone was standing behind him. Nico took his headphones off quickly and turned around confused, but only a millisecond later his face turned into a wide, genuine smile. The smile that Martino loved.
âWhat time is it? Did I lose the track of time? I was supposed to come to get youâ, Nico said quickly, looking qenuinely quilty.
âNo no no! I took the earlier train because-â, Martino felt his cheeks turn red, Â âbecause I missed you so muchâ. Martino lifted his gaze and saw Nico smiling fondly. For a second they stared into each otherâs eyes, as if to study the other. It still had been three weeks since they had seen and when they finally saw each other, they wanted to try to memorise every single little detail about the other. Itâs amazing, and scary, how much you can forget about the other in that short of time. Where the marks on other personâs face are, how theyâre eyebrows go when they concentrate. Nico then put his had around Martinoâs neck and pulled their forehead together softly. For a second they breathed each other in, as if to memorise even the scent of each other.
     Nicoâs face was the most beautiful thing Marti had ever seen. The way his eyes were shut when he was asleep, to how his face grew into a wide smile. He could never get enough of him. They were now laying in Nicoâs bed. It was a lot smaller than Martinoâs own, but it wasnât necessarily a bad thing. This way they could be even more close to each other. And they were. Martinoâs body was literally attached to Nicoâs, and he could feel Nicoâs steady heartbeat against his chest. Nico was still asleep, and Martino couldnât help but run his hand through his face and move the strands of hair falling onto it. Slowly Nicoâs face grew into a smile.
âWhat do you think you are doing?â asked Nico fondly. Martino didnât answer, but instead kissed Nico softly on the lips. Martino then broke the kiss and they both layed there for a while, in total silence. Nico then put his hand around Martino and pulled him closer. They were totally tangled up together now, as if too scared to let go of each other. As if the oher could disappear, if they didnât hold on enough tight.
âNicoâŠâ Martino said, breaking the silence. Nico only hummed for an answer, too comfortable to move or even to speak. To Nicoâs disappointment, Martino moved his arm away and climbed up to face him.
âI wanna tell you something.â
Nico then opened his eyes at Martino and looked at him.
âYou can tell me anything.â
Martino looked Nico deeply in the eyes.
âDo you remembet that poem that you once sent me?â Martino took a short pause, âafter Milanâ. They had talked about what had happened in Milan, but it still was hard to talk about, especially for Nico. Thatâs why Martino tried not to bring it up too often.
âYes, of course I do. What about it?â Nico answered, something about his voice changing.
âEhm...the first time I read it, none of it made any sense to me. Well, to be honest, I read it many times but I still couldnât understand what it meantâ.
Martino took a pause to study Nicoâs face. It had turned into a lot more serious than before, as if waiting what was to come.
âBut a couple of days ago, when I was going through our old texts, I came across that text again. And I donât know why, but suddenly it all made sense. Â I know you say that I should stop apologizing to you about what happened after Milan but please, let me apologize this one time.â
The seriousness in Nicoâs face had lessened a little, and Martino continued.
âI think the reason that I didnât understand the text at first was that I refused to even try to. And Iâm so sorry about that. I wish I had listened to you andâŠwell, things could have gone totally diffe-â
âMartiâ, Nico suddenly stopped him, âIt is okay, I mean it. It was a very confusing time to you too. It is no wonder that none of it, or the situation itself made any sense to you. But now we are here, so letâs not worry about what has happened once, and focus on the present, okay?â
âOkayâ, Martino just answered. They were both staring at each other. The atmosphere had changed a bit, but it wasnât as serious as it had been a minute ago. Suddenly Nico started smiling.
âWhat?â Martino grinned, now sliming too.
âWell, the poem is very simple, if we really start thinking about it. And believe me, the time I sent it to you I really thought about it. I just canât help but wonder, how on earth did it took you almost a year to understand itâ, Nico said sarcastically, âAnd you claim to be wiseâ.
âI am very wise!â, Martino protested, laughing. The atmosphere in the room was now light, as it had been before. Martino looked at Nico, now smiling thoughtfully.
âBut in the end, arenât giraffes kind of like our thing?â
âWhat do you mean?â, Nico answered, curious.
âI mean, didnât you talk about how you would ride a giraffe if you were the last man on earth. And then you sent me that drawing about us riding a giraffe. And then the poem.â
Niccolo seemed to consider Martinoâs words. Shortly after his face turned into a wide grin.
âGuess where we have to go this summerâ
âTo someplace warm?â, Martino said hopefully.
âTo the zooâ Niccolo stated.
âTo see a giraffe?â
âAbsolutelyâ
The both of them started laughing. Nico then moved closer, just so that their noses were touching each otherâs and they could feel each otherâs breathing.
âI love youâ, Nico said, looking Martino straight in the eyes. They had told that each other many times by now, but there was still this feeling in Martinoâs stomach everytime Nico said those words to him. Well, nobody else had ever said those word to him, at least not in the meaning that Nico meant them.
âI love you tooâ, Martino answered, almost whispering. Nico put his hand on Martinoâs face and moved the strands of hair that had fallen onto his face.
âIâm going to go and make us something to eatâ, Nico said, pressing a quick kiss on Martinoâs lips and getting out of the bed, despite Martino trying to hold on to him and telling him he wasnât hungry and trying to keep him in bed.
âFineâ, Martino said, realising he had lost the fight, âBut not tabasco, okay?â. Nico turned around and grinned at him, leaving the room without saying a word. Marti thew his head back into the pillows, feeling too comfortable to get up. He layed there for a while, until he used his last strength to pull himself out of the bed. He took his phone from the table and saw that it was already almost 8pm. He then started leaving the room, but a drawing on the table caught his attention. He walked to the table to take a closer look at the drawing. It was a giraffe. Martino smiled to himself, taking out his phone. He opened his camera and took a picture of it. He then took one more look at the drawing. Maybe giraffes really were their thing.
You made it this far, congrats! This is my first fic here on Tumblr and I would appreciate it a lot if some of you could give any kind of feedback! Maybe in the future Iâll write more, who knows. And I know this is probably annoying to say, but English is not my first language, so there are some errors for sure. Sorry about that! Hope this made someone out there smile even for a bit, thatâs more than enough for me!
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Prompt: I was wondering if you can do one where one of Conradâs patients gets violent and he gets hurt but doesnât think much of it and he doesnât tell anyone and ends up collapsing...
Fandom: The Resident
Main Whumpee: Conrad Hawkins
Whumps: broken nose, collapsing and references to intubation, surgery, internal bleeding
For: @spacesquidfandoms (we did a fic exchange because I was in some dire need for Conrad whump, of which they have plenty! Go check out their blog if thats what youâre looking for.Â
Story Links : Ao3, FFN,
Nic threw a sarcastic âha haâ over her shoulder, so that Conrad knew exactly how she felt about the joke he had told. It was an old joke, one that she had heard hundreds of times before. Deep down she knew though, that she would never grow tired of hearing him say it. âDonât you have something you should be doing?â
âWhat, you mean besides giving you my stand up routine?â Conrad joked, tongue in cheek as he made his way in front of her, walking backwards to be able to see the small smile on her face.
She stops as his pager goes off, and he stops a few footsteps later as he rolls his eyes and drags the small electronic from his pocket, âTurns out the answer is yes, the ER is swamped so Iâll go help them out.â Conrad ran a hand through his hair before looking back up at Nic with a serious expression, âAre we still on for dinner tonight?â
Nic smiles, giving him a small peck on the cheek, âAbsolutely.â
Nic can almost hear the way his heartbeat begins to thump just a little bit faster at the affection, and she can feel her own flutter in her chest. She would ânever get over that stubborn man but she would never grow tired of watching him leaveâ, she thought, unable to keep her gaze from the way his scrubs handled his assets, as Conrad took his leave.
Conrad walks into the ER, and is able to lose himself in the flurry of activity. He works with the kid with an appendix thatâs ready to burst in cubicle one, and an old man with his AFIB in cubicle three. Itâs an hour later, and in cubicle six that Conradâs day begins to go downhill.
The patient is a little younger than he is,late twenties, and has been thrashing around since before he was brought in. The paramedics diagnosis had the team of doctors believing he was going through some form of drug withdrawal. But as soon as Conrad spent a few moments with him, he could tell something wasnât right. Conrad ordered bloodworks to see if the man had anything floating in his bloodstream that shouldnât be there. Otherwise, the young man was silently writhing on the table.
It was in a moment of clarity from the young man that helped Conrad realize that whatever was going on with this man, it wasnât something Conrad had seen before. The youngs mans eyes had shot open, and he had looked Conrad right in the eye as he was doing a physical examination to try and rule out any of the lists of causes that Conrad had come up with it. âIt hurts, man, it hurts so bad,â the young man had whispered.
Conrad leaned forwards to make sure he could hear what the man had said, âWhat hurts man?â
âIt hurts!â Then, with a strength that Conrad didnât realize the patient had, he jumped, smashing his forehead into Conradâs nose, before sending them both tumbling to the ground. Conrad felt a piercing pain in his nose and back as they both hit the floor. Things fell to the floor around them, and Conrad turned onto his side to try and avoid anything raining down while he gained his bearings.
The patient was howling in his ear beside him as he began to kick at Conrad from his place on the floor. Conrad snapped from his own reverie as a kick landed against his kidney and sent flames of pain throughout his body. Conrad rolled the other way and got to his feet as quickly as he could. He wiped at his nose, tasting the blood in the back of his throat as he began the process of trying to restrain the guy that was still kicking and lashing out before him.
At this point, personnel came to Conradâs assistance, and within three minutes, the young man was sedated and silent on the gurney again.
Conrad stepped back from beside the patient's bedside and brought a shaky hand to his nose, wiping away blood as it continued to leak from it. âDoctor Hawkins, we should get you cleaned up?â Jessica suggested beside him as she waved over Irving.
Irving took one look at Conrad before dashing to his side, gauze in hand. âWhat happened to you?â Irving asked, passing the gauze.
âYou miâthed all that? Thâeriously?â Conrad grimaced at the nasly tone his voice procured as he held the gauze to his nose delicately.
âI donât know if youâve noticed, but it's a little busy in here right now?â Irving asked, staring at his friend with concern. âLet me look at -â
âNo, âm fine. But this guy iâth yours.ââ Conrad swallowed more blood that leaked down his throat from his nose and grimaced at the pain and the taste.
âYou sure?â Irving asked.
âYea. Page Devon to help you while I canât.â Conrad muttered, before turning his back to Jessica and Irving, and walking away. He makes it all the way to the elevator before the pain in his back begins to throb again. The elevator door opens and he stumbles in, receiving a few sideways glances from the people that he pushes past. He continues to hold the gauze to his nose, but he can feel it getting wetter, and he knows that he has blood dripping down his hands and arms. He presses the button that will lead him to the floor where he keeps his stuff in the doctors lounge.
He reaches it slower than he cares to admit, but once he makes it there, he steps into the bathroom where he spits out another glob of blood. He winces at the way the motion jostles his nose, before pulling the red gauze away. Conrad curses as he looks at the way his nose and eyelids are swollen, and the way his nose sits slightly crooked. He chooses not to change, and takes a moment to figure out who he can get to straighten his nose back out when another flare of agony wash through his back. He clutches the sink, allowing the wave to mostly wash over him before carefully lifting his shirt and turning to see his back in the mirror.
It takes Conrad a few moments to realize that where he had been kicked earlier, was now an ugly shade of bruising and discoloration. Conrad places a light fingertip against it and pain floods his system. His eyes slam shut and he can feel himself hit the ground before the pain from the impact jostles him straight into unconsciousness.
Nic glances around the ER, hoping to catch a glimpse of the curly haired mess of man that she spends her nights with. Her initial sweep doesnât turn up anything, despite how seemingly quiet the ER is. She does however spot Devon and Irving conversing across the room.
She paces up to them, a light smile on her face. She waits for them to finish talking about the diagnosis of the patient in cubicle six, and how he had an infection different than anything either one of them had seen before. Finally Irving turns to her, âHave you seen Conrad?â
The question almost startles Nic, considering she was about to ask the same thing. âNo, I thought he was down here?â
âHe was, until he got his nose broken by the guy we just admitted. He went upstairs almost an hour ago to clean up, and we havenât seen him since.â Devon responds.
The response definitely shocks Nic, as she looked to Irving to make sure Devon wasnât kidding around. âWait, what?â
âThe patient had a psychotic episode and must have got a good shot at Conradâs face. I havenât seen him since he went to clean up.â Irving reassured.
âMaybe heâs in the lounge?â Devon suggested, and Nic nodded her head in agreement.
âIf he knows whatâs best for him, heâs probably resting.â She responded, âYou free?â
Devon nodded, âYea, I can help.â
Nic didnât bother responding before heading towards the elevator. They didnât spot Conrad once they reached the lounge, but the bathroom door was shut across the room. Nic knocks on the door, before another doctor in the room tosses a retort over his shoulder, âThat doors been locked for a while now.â
A sinking feeling settles in Nics stomach as she begins to pound on the door. âConrad? Conrad, if youâre in there you need to open the door, now!â
Thereâs no response, and Nicâs hearts racing in her chest as she debates her options. She stops thinking once Devon shoves her back and begins beating at the door handle with a fire extinguisher. Within five hits, the door handles falls off, and Devons messes with what's left before carefully pushing the door open.
The door only opens halfway before it stops against something. Devon calls for the doctor in the lounge to get some help and a gurney before Nic is able to get a glance of Conrad and the streaks of blood that are running down the lower half of his face.
Heâs lying mostly under the sink, curled up on his side. His legs were what the door was catching on. Devonâs finally able to push the door open all the way so that he can set to work, and Nic jumps in to help, knowing her alternative to watch in horror wonât help anyone.
Itâs a slow rise from slumber. His mouth is fuzzy, and his brain is too. Itâs like waking up from a nap that didnât last long enough, but was also too long. His eyes feel crusty, as they flutter open.
It takes him a few moments to realize that the dimly lit room heâs in, isnât his own. The beeping of the monitors that surround help him figure out heâs in a hospital room, but he canât remember why.
He looks down at the rest of his body, and is surprised to not see the scrubs heâs so used to, and instead his top is covered with the standard issue hospital gown. His legs are covered with a blanket, and his arm is covered by the still, sleeping form of his girlfriend.
He takes a couple more minutes to try and take stock of his surroundings before he reaches over to run a hand through Nics hair.
âNic?â The croak that escapes his mouth is startling, and trying again doesnât make it sound any better. But Nic obviously hears him as her head shoots up to look at him.
Her blonde hair is matted against her head where she was resting it, and her makeup looks like it had been running at some point or another. Her eyes are bright, and when they meet his, her face erupts with a smile. âYouâre awake,â she coos, clutching his hand in her own and then reaching up to touch his cheek. âDo you need some water?â
He nods, and when she pushes the straw between his lips, he sucks greedily until she pulls it away again. âHey, you gotta cool it with the water or youâll make yourself sick. I know your throats raw, they only took out the ventilator this morning.â
âWhat?â Conrad asks incredulously. He knows heâs missing something, but for some reason he just doesnât have all the pieces.
âYou had surgery last night to fix your kidney that had a tear in it. You also had a broken nose, and you had stopped breathing before Devon broke the door down to eat to you.â Memories and moments start to come back to him, and Conrad winces as he starts to vaguely remember what happened.
âWhyâd I stop breathing?â
âYou lost a lot of blood, and you might have choked on some of the blood from your nose, but it was close.â Nics face seems solemn and serious for a second, but Conradâs having difficulty following the conversation as well as he wants too, and figures itâs probably because of the painkillers in his system. So he smiles up at her, with what he hopes is the mopiest grin he can manage.
âI love you too, get some rest. We can talk more when you have some of your strength back.â
Conrad barely hears the end of her sentence before he drifts off again.
fin
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