#and Nahyuta is also deeply traumatized and suffering from a whole slew of mental illnesses and gets so wrapped up in his own

[beauzos]

Amara is a really interesting character to me. she acts so fucking strange that i honestly thought there was a high chance that she was the ultimate bad guy in Turnabout Revolution lol. i don't know what they were going for with her honestly. i wanna explore her more in my writing eventually. because i can't give any of these characters a happy ending i can't help but feel like Amara and Nahyuta would butt heads, like, a lot. not that they don't love each other, because they really do, but i feel like they really would not understand each other.

Nahyuta grew up in a totally different world than Amara. his lived experiences are wildly different from hers. they'd probably argue about Dhurke, what he'd want, who "knows" him more, they'd argue about what the best thing to do for Khura'in is (which i feel Nahyuta wouldn't mind-- he shouldn't be able to do whatever he wants as regent, so he appreciates a dissenting opinion), they'd argue about Rayfa, about him and what he's doing with his life, so on. i feel like Amara would have very particular ideas of what she wants, thinks, and expects of Nahyuta, and Nahyuta is very much so... not what she expects, i think. like, she knew him probably a little as Nayna, but i don't think she ever really knew him.

and Nahyuta canonically doesn't talk about his feelings or what he's thinking and is very private, so he's not easy to know because i imagine he's still mentally on guard with basically everyone in his life because it's what he's used to. and he's not the beau ideal of a prince or leader. he's just a guy who grew up dirt poor in an isolated world suddenly thrust into great political power at the center of his nation. Amara probably has lofty expectations for her kids, and she's probably spent a long time daydreaming of what it'd be like if they could all be together again, and finding it not exactly as she expected, probably becomes rather upset.

i also think that Nahyuta gets along extremely well with Rayfa after they get used to each other, and i think that would mess with Amara too. that Rayfa connects so easily to Yuta, but she can't seem to connect with either of hers, even though she raised Rayfa the whole time! it's a lot of frustration and missed connections that no one is certain of how to fix. Amara means well, but i just get the vibe she's naturally overbearing and she'll keep running into walls with Yuta (and Rayfa, though they get along a lot better than her and Yuta) because of that.

and i can also see how it might feel so gutting that she and Nahyuta are so different and so constantly at odds when he resembles her so much. i'm sure people have always compared them and in the brief times when she was able to be in his life as a kid, i think she had high expectations of having a daughter child that is like an extension of herself-- and she hasn't yet let go of the idea of that. but Nahyuta is nothing if not his own person post-SOJ, so it'd be a struggle. on the opposite side, Nahyuta has always struggled with feeling like he's in Amara's shadow-- he looks nothing like his father, acts nothing like his father, and must constantly be compared to her because of his looks, this woman he never got to know, this woman who has almost never truly been in his life. he doesn't want to be compared to her.

what a mess.

i wanted to explore that frayed relationship a bit in Rebel Killer, but there was no real time, so i just kinda hinted at things being kinda awkward with them. but you know i'm kind of enamored with how awkward, unpleasant, and strange it'd be between them despite their best efforts bcs of the fic i was planning about Nahyuta and Amara when Yuty was a kid. i'll get back to that eventually, but i do wanna show what their dynamic is like post-SOJ eventually too, because i imagine it's very weird and hard for them to make sense of. they're trying, but they just can't understand each other quite yet.