#and Love you so so much Destiel fandom 💚💙

[herefortheships]

Happy New Year! 🥳🎊

Thank you to my friends here who made 2024 special 😊. Love you so much! I hope that you will have a wonderful 2025.

Thank you for all the fun we shared fangirling and speculating and theorizing together. Let's continue more this new year. 💖

[angel-fruitcake]

SPN S16 DESTIEL THEORY 🏳️‍🌈

ok please here me out- IF the spn revival is in the works, i believe it will include fully canon, romantically requited destiel. here's why:

the supernatural finale was fucked up, for many reasons. they know that. Misha knows it, Jensen knows it. everyone knows it. if they get the chance to redo the ending and fix things--a real shot at redemption--they won't make the same mistakes again.

yes, i'm fully aware that destiel is not the only thing that spn is about, not even the main storyline. but the moment they decided to let Cas confess his romantic love for Dean, they made it clear that that was a huge piece of the whole story. so if they write a revival that either doesn't acknowledge Cas' feelings (like with the finale), or worse, has Dean reject Cas' confession under the guise of being straight or only viewing Cas as family, they would be officially crowning themselves as The Most Homophobic and Most Hated Series To Ever Exist.

knowing Misha, if he's involved in the revival at all, he will make damn sure Cas gets justice. he wasn't satisfied with the way things ended either, and there is zero possibility that he will allow a revival to include Cas without going all the way with destiel this time. Castiel's love for Dean is apart of his story now, full stop. if they can't give him the ending he deserves, then there is absolutely no point in him even being in the revival.

and if for some godforsaken reason we learn that Cas isn't apart of it, it'll be obvious that Misha couldn't get destiel to happen, so he stepped back (at that point they will likely lose so much fandom interest in it that it'll be questionable if it's even worth making).

but i have a very hard time believing that Jensen would allow a rebirth to happen without Castiel/Misha being in it. he just wouldn't do that, it's too important for the story.

lastly, they won't be restricted by any network that's too cowardly or bigoted to allow the lead characters to be in a queer-presenting relationship. Jensen (or whoever buys/bought the rights to supernatural from WB) has the freedom to choose the company that picks up this project, because there is no actual pressure to make it. they don't have to do a revival; the show is over. if they give spn a rebirth, it will be a labor of love, created with the sole purpose of doing right by the fanbase and by the series itself. so if certain networks shoot down their ideas, they can find one that will be on board.

this is ofc just a theory and i know i shouldn't get my hopes up, but in my mind this is pretty solid.

if you read all that, thank you and i love you 💙💚💙💚

[wellofdean]

Sorry ,for me personally, it has to be out loud acknowledge to even remotely make up for how badly they treated fans over the years, the out loud queerbaiting in one breath and mocking in the next. The in text gay jokes, sexism and homophobia. The digs at their own fans.

They want the credit without having to do it. Again. They want the pat on the back they need to earn it this time.

Years of baiting for views and profit needs a payoff imo. Sorry people downplaying how important the canonization of this ship in particular is just hurts to see over and over. Stop letting them off the hook please. You deserve more. We all do.

It’s important. It does matter.

The cas/destiel hope baiting continued with the Winchesters and that’s why I’m at a put up or shut up moment with Jensen and the writers. He and Danneel kept the hype up every week that the show was airing all the while knowing cas doesn’t even get a name drop. He’s not even hinted at. Mary/john paralleled destiel so many times yet refused to call it want it was.

They could have shut it down week one, they interacted on tweeter a lot during airing and knew what fans thought there was going to be an acknowledgment or hint that never happened. They are smart people, they saw the speculation and hype but didn’t step in with a gentle ‘sorry guys this is about the new crew’ they fanned the hope instead with ‘something big happens’ that was just dean meeting the new team.

Loved the Winchesters as a show, sad it got dropped cause I loved the new cast so much. That said the baiting hurt and wasn’t necessary, the show was good.

Everyone is looking back with rose colored glasses and rewriting history. But things were ugly with the spn team/cast/writers at times. The homophobia was pretty out loud in a way it was allowed to be in the early 00s. They’ve grown and that’s wonderful but it still happened.

They need to earn the praise they want imo. No hate! Glad you are happy! just feels a little unfair to say we should all let them off the hook again and be happy with nothing while praising the benevolent straights. Just my two cents 😅💚💙

I want to answer this sympathetically, because I know it's disappointing that no one has been willing to just say "Dean and Cas are gay for each other" out loud, and I don't think there are many people in this fandom who picked up what the narrative was putting down, and were not disappointed in the finale for LOADS of reasons, only one of them being that Dean never had the chance to acknowledge what Cas said to him. I understand your feelings, my anonymous friend, I really do. I too found the end of Supernatural deeply frustrating, because they managed to erase the meaningful journeys of every single character, not just Dean, though what they did with Dean was the worst. I completely understand wanting them to JUST FUCKING SAY IT. I do. I get you. I simply do not agree.

My argument, which I have made many, many times, is that what you want is THERE in the narrative. They made Cas Dean's ride or die, they made it obvious that Dean can't carry on without Cas -- that the loss of Cas means Dean loses his will to live. That was explicit. They made it clear that more than anyone else, EVEN Sam, Cas is essential to him. They structured the narrative around Dean and Cas's emotional beats. They let Cas say the obvious thing out loud, and then showed us Dean behaving exactly as Dean would in a situation like that -- in the midst of his existential crisis about who he is and whether he has ever had free will, and with the world falling around them -- they showed us Dean unable to speak, unable to respond but overwhelmed with emotion. Like, remember that when Mary died when Dean was four, he was unable to speak? Is it really so hard to imagine that he loves Cas with all his heart? To read love in Dean's watery eyes, and the way he chokes down his heart and begs Cas not to do this? Not to being saying goodbye? I mean... I CAN DO THAT MATH. Literally everything about the story supports it. IT IS THERE.

Fandom always argues: if Cas were a woman, we wouldn't have any questions, so what I am just wondering is, why do we have questions again? Is it because we (homophobically) can't just see it for what it is because it's gay? Because, when it's gay we lose our ability to interpret narrative, and we need to be told, like we are 5 years old, what's happening in a perfectly obvious story? Or, is it a skill issue? Is it because we need the creators of the story to affirm our interpretation? We need the actors to just TELL US what they meant when they did that thing with their faces? Do we need their permission to understand it for what it is?

I've said many times that calling what happened on Supernatural 'queerbaiting' because no one ever made out or fucked on the maps table is really offensive to me actually. Don't you know that there are queer people in this world who never get to live their truths? Who just ache and yearn and want, and never get to have? Like, that there are in fact queer people who are afraid to say what they feel, or who don't understand or embrace who they really are and what they really need until it's too late? Are those not QUEER EXPERIENCES? I love Dean and I love that story because it's queer as hell and it makes ME feel seen, because I am like him! I am a queer person of his age who didn't ask myself those questions seriously enough in time! My own queerness is very fucking real, and it is UNLIVED. That HAPPENS to actual queer humans, and like, it's not queerbaiting when it's just queer, but didn't tell you the queer story YOU wanted it to tell. You saw years of tease? I saw years of choices, and love, and accretion of deep wells of emotion. I saw a clear romance, and a character becoming. It was a story I needed, AS A QUEER PERSON.

And the Winchesters was just joyful if you went in with that understanding of the previous story. It was like getting an A+ in Supernatural week after week from Dean himself. I can accept that the stars didn't align for Cas/Misha to come back in the first season, accept that if he were coming back, it needed to be more than a cameo to make it right, and that it didn't work out. I am so sad it was cancelled, but I can accept that it was leading someplace it didn't get to go. That's not queerbaiting, either! It's telling a story that was aborted, and I think if you don't see that, then that is DEFINITELY a skill issue.

I'm not looking back with rose coloured glasses; Supernatural is fresh in my mind. I watched it again without the internal pressure of expectations that aren't going to be met, and let it tell me what it was really doing all along. I am happy. It's a really compelling, deeply romantic, deeply queer story. I don't need permission from anyone involved to think that, and I don't need it explained to me. I understand wanting it to just be fully explicit, but I would not trade the story it did tell for a simpler, less engaging one, that asked less of me. I love it very much AS IT IS.

And, please: point me to this fabled abuse of fans. I have never really seen an example of it that is not easily debunked with a little bit of context.

[cornflowershade]

Fandom peeps you'd like to get to know better:

tagged by @qt-qtoey (x) and @ranchthoughts (x) and @airenyah (x)! 💕

3 Ships You Like

Oh gosh there's so many 😭 First three off the top of my head are SandRay, batjokes, AkkAyan (yes there's two firstkhao pairs in there what can I say! and then a dc ship thrown in lol)

First Ever Ship

Destiel 💚💙 (are we surprised, this is the Supernatural website after all xD) -- 'twas my first ship at like the age of 12 (?) and they were my primary OTP for mannnny years

Last Song Heard

ได้แค่นี้ sung by ปราง ปรางทิพย์ (enjoyed that a lot! here's the youtube link) -- shortly before I listened to the same artist's cover of กาลครั้งนึง which I really loved!)

Currently Reading

A PDF about recognizing Thai script in different fonts. Apparently some of them simplify letters so much that you can barely tell what's what and after looking at them my head is now like aojsdfglkn. (Started reading it out of curiosity but I'll likely take a pause because I still have half of the consonants left to even learn in the first place haha. One thing at a time.)

If we're talking actual books though, then The Lightning Thief! (Which I should get back to, it's been a minute...) That's always been one of my favorite books and one of the only one's I'll like-- physically read (and re-read).

Currently Watching

"Only Boo!" (started this on a whim the day it premiered because youtube recommended it and now I love it so much), "We Are" the series (was still figuring out what I thought after ep 1. but I loved ep 2. so much yay), "Cherry Magic" (need to get back to it bc I took a pause but I only have a few eps left), "House MD" (watching with my sister, blorbo from this show is absolutely bonkers lmao <3) and "23.5 degrees" (my absolute joy every friday🥰)

Last movie

Thinking so hard because I rarely watch movies. I re-watched "Easy A" like a month or two ago, so I guess that. It was fun! :)

Currently Craving

Sleep🙃 and Malaysian chili oil because we ran out. It's so gooood!! I love putting it on stir fry noodles-- and like. literally everything else it doesn't clash with. xD

tagging: @celestial-sapphicss @lamonnaie @firstkanaphans @moonkhao @justafriend-ql @distant-screaming ~ if you want! :) <3

[lamiasage]

Your work reminds me of Euclase, who used to be in the fandom long ago before she went pro. Except it looks like you do paintovers and smudging, which is like Petite-Madame, another great artist who used to be in the fandom. You fit in the middle, but either way it's lovely to see beautiful art being made for our favorite characters.

Oh hey, thank you! 😊💜

I have been in fandom when they were around still and I definitely took some inspiration from their art! I admire Euclase's painterly soft but still very precise realism and the work of color/glow in her later spn paintings and I have definitely looked at a few of her tutorials to figure out my own style (this one for example). I also always loved Petite-Madame's Destiel art, especially the highlighting, and well, I will never forget her beautiful Twist and Shout fanart.

About the latter part of the ask, I actually don't do smudging at all :D I tried it once here, but the smudge tool really overwhelms me. I instead blend with the pipette tool and a soft brush (or, if I keep it more painterly, with a textured brush). It just personally works better for me! And about the paintovers, I actually had to google what that means, but I think as I understand it I don't do that either (I think?) xD I did paintovers back in 2014/2015 when I first eased my way into digital art but did then stop painting completely since it felt like I was cheating and it catapulted me into a 5-year long art block until I felt brave enough to pick up a pen again (sorry if that's too personal and I am being awkward) 😅 I do sometimes stay very close to a reference or a screenshot of the show but I don't paint over it, I just try to recreate it and make it more pretty (in my personal perspective, that's of course very subjective) :D I also try to "loosen" up more with the 'realism' aspect of things lately, and just keep it more textured and painterly, or do some doodles and sketches, and go more nuts with the colors, because I always have the feeling that my perfectionism limits me in what I allow myself to paint (I say while I work on a painting that references a screenshot of the show, but I am trying, I swear, if you look at my latest art! Sometimes a more 'realistic' attempt at painting sneaks into it but I definitely want to be more flexible and upload more stylized stuff as well 😂)

I think when we are talking about styles, I also have to mention other awesome artists in this fandom that I take a big chunk of inspiration from and that influence my own style and processes as an artist :D For example, Winchester-Reload, who obviously is just 💚💙 with her paintings and shading (those cheekbones!!! the beards!!!) and especially the facial expressions and emotions transferred by her art, Diminuel with the highlights and blush and absolutely adorable cuteness, and Clickbaitcowboy with his peak gender art and the way he draws bodies and does stylized illustrations that look very realistic at the same time (how??? sir your art is so pretty). Also Scenteddean, Artmetica, C-Kaeru, Feredir, Werepires, Free-To-Be-Impaled, Naughtystiel, and so so so many more artists who created beautiful art for this fandom and who are just so talented <3

Sorry if my answer was a little bit on the long side! Again, thank you so much. I think it's such a great compliment to be associated with Euclase's and Petite-Madame's styles whose art I definitely looked up to growing up in the fandom 😳 And thank you for being so lovely, I hope my 4 am answering attempt does your ask justice 😭💜

[nayeliq1]

I have spent the last week or so reading all your stuff on AO3 and I can’t stop thinking about the Words Unspoken poem. Also, the epilogue of Happiness is(n’t) in the Having made me cry myself to sleep and I am 32 years old. 🥺😭🥹 I didn’t discover this fandom until last year so I’m making up for lost time. 💔✨❤️

Hi!! Thank you so so much for the ask and for reading all my fics! I've only been in the fandom since mid 2020 myself and definitely not done writing for it yet (only taking a break rn to squeeze in some Good Omens fics)...

It makes me so happy that you enjoyed the poems in particular, I had so much fun writing that fic and was quite proud of those. (Fun fact: I actually gave the one from Cas' pov to Misha when I saw him at a con earlier this year!)

So happy my silly writing have you some feeling about our two idiots, hope you have a lovely time in the fandom and exploring the wide world of destiel fanfic!!💙💚💙💚💙💚

[punk-is-notdead]

I posted 1,499 times in 2022

8 posts created (1%)

1,491 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sassysousa

@dean-you-assbutt-cas-loves-you

@spnjohnlocked

@miniaturereviewmaker

@thesherlockianwhojustcant

I tagged 1,009 of my posts in 2022

Only 33% of my posts had no tags

#destiel - 202 posts

#our flag means death - 151 posts

#cockles - 145 posts

#misha collins - 86 posts

#castiel - 61 posts

#this - 58 posts

#stranger things - 52 posts

#awww - 46 posts

#eddie munson - 44 posts

#dean winchester - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 123 characters

#also why am i learning more about what’s happening in my own country’s parliament on tumblr and not from the so-called news

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Additional Tags: Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF Summary:

When Castiel decides to try his hand at cooking he doesn’t expect to be affected by an onion, of all things. A collision with Dean results in him designating it "Spoil Cas Rotten Day", which is much more enjoyable.

A birthday gift from @eyesofatragedy67 and me for the lovely @anyreiart, with all our love, angel kisses and cupcakes. 💚💙😇

10 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

#4

Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005), Supernatural (TV 2005) RPF Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, AU!Misha/AU!Jensen Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), AU!Misha Collins, AU!Jensen Ackles, Jack Kline Additional Tags: Crack, Established Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins, Smut, Top Misha Collins, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, fourth wall?, what fourth wall?, Silly little fic to hopefully brighten your day, we love you, Somewhere Over the Rainbow Summary:

Jensen and Misha are transported to Dean and Cas’s world. Enough said.

A birthday gift for @queerwolfsstuff from @anyreiart and me. We hope you like it, and that you’re having a lovely day. We love you Frankie. 💙💚

13 notes - Posted December 12, 2022

#3

Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Characters: Meg Masters, Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural) Additional Tags: Meg Plays Cupid, Idiots in Love, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Pansexual Castiel (Supernatural), Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Meg Masters Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Rimming, Porn With Plot, Domestic Fluff, Meg/Dean Winchester/Castiel, Endgame Destiel, Do not post to another site Summary:

Meg has a plan. She doesn’t know if it’ll work, but if it does it’ll mean getting her two lovesick idiot friends together, and hopefully she’ll get a good fuck out of it too.

Some porn with plot, written by the lovely @eyesofatragedy67 and me. 😊​

14 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

#2

Title: End In Sight

Author: tfw_cas (@punk-is-notdead)

Artist: @anyreiart

Rating: Explicit

Ships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Claire Novak/Kaia Kneves, Charlie Bradbury/Gilda

Expected Word Count: 30,000

Major Warnings and Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Canon Divergent After Season Three, Post Apocalypse, Mentions Of Offscreen Character Deaths, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time Having Sex, Safe Sex, Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Castiel, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Frottage, Vampires, Angst, Happy Ending

Summary: Eleven years ago Dean survived the apocalypse, and has been surviving on his own ever since. Of all the things he imagined might happen to him in a world full of unknown dangers, shitty eyesight and the need for a pair of glasses wasn’t one of them. Travelling away from the place he’s called home for over a decade to get help from someone known only as The Optician, Dean makes new allies, and together they find a utopia that seems to have survived the apocalypse unscathed. However everything is not exactly as it seems, and when he discovers the truth, Dean has a difficult choice to make; one which will affect not only his future, but that of others around him.

A canon divergent story where the apocalypse did happen, after Dean went to Hell, and was saved by a nameless angel.

Opening Paragraph: Dean put down the book he was trying to read and sighed as he rubbed his eyes. His head was hurting like hell from staring at the blurry words, and he was just grateful that he had a good stock of painkillers, which thankfully still worked despite them all being well past their expiration date.

Posting Date: 1st May 2022

23 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Title: Up Close and Personal

Author: tfw_cas

Artist: @ncdover1285

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Length: 2.8k

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Tags: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Jody Mills, AU, MeetCute, Fluff, Photographer Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel Watches the Bees, Dean to the Rescue, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss

Summary: When Castiel winds up in the pond while photographing bees in the park, a handsome stranger comes to his rescue, and a relationship blossoms.

Link To Fic

Link To Art

This fic is basically just fluff. And wet Cas. Part of the @destiel-buzzy-bee-bang, with gorgeous art from the awesome @ncdover1285, and beta'ed by the wonderful @eyesofatragedy67. 💚💙

26 notes - Posted May 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cocklesdestielfiction]

Amazing 😍

Thank you @verobatto 💕

Artwork for the @deanandcasbingo (square: Age Play) and for @cosmic-cowboys and @cocklesdestielfiction challenge "Cosmic Lovers" @weird-dorky-little-d

Traditional Drawing. Ink pen. Acrylics Painting. Color pencils. Click on the image for a better resolution.

One night In their Honeymoon, Dean wanted to do something different... He explained to Cas what a "Age Playing"...

Cas was definitely into it. He spread his wings and showed Dean... He already was way older than him and magnificent.

Tags and Bingo Card under the cut.

Tags:

@magnificent-winged-beast @midnightsilver @emblue-sparks @missjenniferb @casualpandabeliever @justmeand-myinsight @spnsmile @merpancake

[malmuses]

Hey there, this is the extremely shy anon from some asks ago. I found my voice and started writing again after YEARS. And I'm writing destiel for the first time, you know what gave me the motivation? This community and its wonderful people, even if I'm too shy to interact I follow a lot of people and love every single piece of art and writing they all produce, so again thank you for being part of it and for inspiring me with your words and podcast. You all are precious, this fandom is very special.

I’m sort of “testing out the water” for spending more of my sm time on tumblr right now (because fuck Elon Musk, honestly, any my long-winded ass can’t cope with 240 characters anyway), and I have to admit blowing dust off my phone app and having this ask be one of the first things I see was a delight.

You’re so welcome, extremely shy anon. Writing here, podcasting here, in this community…people talk trash about it all the time (most of all us I think, ha!) but when it comes down to it, there are so many awesome people and talented, wonderful creators here. Even if you’re too shy to join in much, you’re still hugely appreciated 💙💚

[tiriansjewel]

2021 Thank Yous

hey folks! We’re already seven days into January but I wanted to welcome in the new year by thanking some friends and mutuals and creators that made the previous year brighter and better even amongst the depressing reality of covid and the outside world. You have all been so supportive of me and my work and I love seeing all your work as well, and here’s to 2022!

@daintyduck99- as soon as we started talking in march I knew this was going to be a lasting friendship. You are so kind and thoughtful, and I love your sense of humor. Every time you share a piece of writing with me it warms my soul, you are so talented and create such beautiful imagery with your words. I can’t wait to send you more unsettling Facebook posts for us to both laugh at ❤️

@psyduckappears- I cannot express how much fun I have had talking to you. We always seem to have something to discuss in our ten minute long video rants and you are so intelligent and good at everything you do, it amazes me. Thank you for breaking my heart with all your angst 💛

@nuandia- my goodness, where to begin with you? When we started talking I didn’t realize how many of your fics i had read and loved but I just have to say you are the queen of polyphantoms and writing shit that squeezes my heart. I loved all our absurdly long video calls over the summer and relating over all our anxieties. I really miss you and miss brainstorming with you and I hope we can talk more this year 💜

@phantomsjulie- my dear, you are my oldest friend in fandom and I’m so grateful for you. I love that we just keep hopping fandoms together and I’ve had such fun yelling about all our favorite female characters. You make such beautiful edits and gifsets and that susan/lilliandil fic is still one of my favorite things on AO3. You’re amazing 💗

@theanarik- sometimes I still laugh about the conversation that started our friendship— an asexual lesbian telling a bisexual how to write good mlm spice— there’s definitely some irony there haha. for real though, I love how we can go off about anything and how much great advice you’ve given me, you’re truly like an older sister and I’m so thankful for you. You keep me connected to the batshit craziness that is supernatural and I hope to beta many more destiel fics for you in the future 🧡

@sunsetcurveofficial- I never thought I’d be a person to organize a fandom event but it’s because of you that I got into peterpatter in the first place. I love all your work so much and I know we don’t talk often, but you’ve been so supportive of me and there is no one else (+ the bugs) that I would have rather done peterpatter fest with. You rock! 🖤

@favoriteliar- I am so happy about the fact that we connected through our mutual friend and started smashing our brains together and seeing what happened! You are hands down my favorite creator in the jatp fandom- you do it all and you do it all well, gifs, art, fic, headcanons, and just being a supportive friend. You’ve stuck around even when others have lost interest and been such an original voice. Here’s to actually finishing the dark AU in 2022 since I have actually been working on it lately lmao (famous last words) 💚

@hyperfixated-bastard- still can’t believe we met in a saf discord. Seriously though, you’re a bop. You always make me laugh because your sense of humor is top tier, I love that we get to be a disaster bi and lesbian duo, so cool for us. Embrace the horse girl cringe! You’re one of my best friends and here’s to more unhinged facetimes and hopefully meeting in person soon 💙

here are some additional mentions of mutuals or people I’ve had fun conversations with or creatives I really enjoy seeing on my dash! I appreciate all of you so much and sorry if I didn’t get around to mentioning everybody :)

@catoptrific @lucbian @athoughtfox @invisibleraven @julies-butterflies @toorational @sunnysbright @astorytotellyourfriends @calormen @luffys @glasswaters @madnessiseverything

[lisette-edelweiss]

Here I'm back with my third fic (complete) and I’m particularly proud of it. I feel more and more comfortable. Destiel transcends me (like all of us, no?) 💙💚

I'm so excited to share this with you 😇

This fic started from a rather simple idea: What if Castiel invited Dean on a date ?

And it's funny because the title of this fic is not related to that question... It's deeper... Let's say it's someone very, very tall who says the words "What if… ?" at some point in this story… Besides, the fic was originally going to be called “Blackout”, but I liked the speech that Sam gives during chapter 3 so much, that I thought it more appropriate to call it like that. But I won't say more, it's up to you to find out and tell me what you think...

So, the action takes place at the end of 15x19, 15x20 doesn’t exist (hell yes !) and of course the fic is a "fix-it" ! Because we need it, because there probably had better things to do (although I'm glad Cas managed to express his love in front of Dean, what courage dear little angel…). Here, no deal with the Empty. Castiel doesn’t die and stays with the boys until the final fight against Chuck (everything is similar to the main storyline of the series except that there is our blue-eyed angel). It’s during the fight that our angel asks Dean if he wants to date with him. The hunter accepts this proposal and they lived happily… Hum… Nop, sorry, nothing is that easy and everything doesn’t happen so simply because as Sam would say (in this fic) “Dean is so Dean! »...

So there will be a story of date, bar, jukeboxe, vampires, confession but above all love (and Miracle will be there too) 🐶 And I slipped in some references to our beloved fandom...

I wouldn’t end up saying that as always, I say to myself “it will be short !” and finally it’s not that much ! Of course at the base we have an idea in mind and then we have to build around it... And then I like when things don't go easily, that's why I like this ship so much 😇🤠

In short, I sincerely hope that this story will make you want, want to read it to the end...

Above all, don’t hesitate to leave me a comment that makes me so happy to read ☺️

And as Dean would say in this fic, "I'm not a magician of words" and that's exactly it, but I gave a version of Destiel with my heart, I hope you feel it. I also tried to do my best for the translation (I am French).

Enjoy 💙💚

Link here :

[herefortheships]

Here it is! My first fanfic in over TEN years! This fic is for today's Destiel fandom event Electric Boogaloo, hosted by @blanketforcas in celebration of the anniversary of the Latam dub giving us canon reciprocal Destiel.

The theme of the event is reciprocation, and that is the theme of my little fic. I hope you like it!

(I wanted to also share this to AO3 and contribute to the over 100,000 Destiel fanworks, but I haven't gotten my invitation yet! So this will go over there eventually.)

Word count: 1,778 words

No warnings of any kind. I think it's a sweet kind of story.

Short summary: Dean sits down to write a letter for Cas with all the things he didn't get to say.

Felicidades a Dean y Castiel en este aniversario. Siempre quiero recordar la alegría (y el DOLOR de ALMA lol) que estos dos me han dado desde el 2012 hasta el día de hoy. Los amo. 😊✨

(Congratulations to Dean and Castiel in this anniversary. I always wat to remember the joy (and the PAIN of my SOUL lol) these two have given me since 2012 until today. I love them. 😊)

💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙

The words he never said

A short fic by Here for the Ships (Des 💚)

Dean Winchester sat at his desk with nothing but a pencil, a sheet of paper, and a bottle of booze. Sam was out in an early morning run with the dog, so Dean was alone with some time to kill and some thoughts to finally drag out of his head and smother away with this one sheet of paper. It had been over two months, now, since he had been forced to part ways with Cas; since his entire world had been turned inside-out and upside-down.

He wasn’t sure if he had processed everything; from the loss of Cas, to defeating Chuck (aka the God), to living in a world where his new God had been a surrogate son to him only a couple of months ago.

The events of those days played often in his mind, when he found himself alone; they paraded in his dreams as he tried to sleep at night… The grief of what was lost had become a constant companion, peering through any moment of peace in the most unexpected ways. A song suddenly playing in the radio, a scent attached to a moment he would never get back.

Dean had considered taking it on as his one mission in life, hunting down the Empty and getting Cas back. But no. He had learned it well and deep by now, that revenge never resulted in anything good. Plus, he’d had enough of dealing with supernatural beings with ineffable, omnipotent powers. Chuck was the final Big Fish he took down, and he was good with that.

Dean took a look at the bottle of room-temperature beer for a few seconds, and he pushed it back on his desk instead of taking a sip this time. It’d hurt, but these words needed to be said. Or at least, he needed them out of his head and stored somewhere else.

“Well, Cas… These are the things I never said…” he said to himself, picked up the pencil, and got to writing:

Last night I prayed to Jack, again… And Cas, buddy, you know how much I hate having to do that. But I had to. You know, I thought I had accepted it, that I was over it. You did what you had to do, and I did what I had to do… We were all doing what we thought was right. But it just keeps playing over and over, and over in my head.

Cas, what the hell were you thinking? I’m not one for judging… I’ve done my share of stupid things, too. For love, for not wanting to be left alone… But Cas, how could you do this to me? I know it sounds fucking selfish, because you’re gone, and because of that we’re all safe and your sacrifice wasn’t it vain—it was never in vain, I really hope you know that. But Cas, now I have to live knowing that you’re gone because you loved me. You loved me. You said all those things about me, I can scarcely remember all of it (trust me, I’m kicking myself about it every freaking day), but I can feel it, everything. I can feel every damned word, every damned day.

Just so you know, because of you… Because of you I could see more in me. Because of you I could see myself differently than I ever did before. Man, I wish I wasn’t so bad with this… That I could put into words just what that all meant to me, what it means to me.

You said all those things about me, and I didn’t get to say anything. And yeah, just like I’ve prayed to you, hoping you could hear what I had to say, I’ve also prayed to Jack. I’ve prayed almost every single night for him to get you out of that place; for him to set things right… But I haven’t heard a word from Jack, and I haven’t seen a flutter of angel wings anywhere; nothing to connect me to Heaven, nothing to give me a clue on what to do….

Every night, the scene of your death plays inside my head, like a freaking movie I can’t look away from no matter how much I want. And in my head, I always stop it from happening. In my head we face the Empty together and we win. We always win.

Dean stopped for a moment, gathering his thoughts, wondering if writing this would be enough.

I think I took it for granted, that we always win. I think at some point I felt invincible. You know, you and me, and Sam, we’ve taken some pretty Big Fish. I think something inside me always felt like we’d always win, that we’d always come back to the bunker together and share some beers. I think something inside me always believed that, even though I didn’t fully realize it. Looking back now, I see it. Cas, when you said those words to me, I froze. And it took me a while, you know? To understand what really happened. That I was your happiness.

“No, I don’t think I should put it like that…”

That I was your happiness. That just letting me know how you felt about me was enough to make you truly happy. Enough to make the Empty come and take you. But Cas, now I have to live with that knowledge and it’s driving me fucking crazy, because… Alright, I’m not good with words, and I’m sure by now you know that about me, Cas, but I just wanted you to know, I needed you to know

Dean sat back and sighed a long sigh, staring at the page like it was staring right back at him, somehow shaming him, even though there was no one here to read over his shoulder. “I can’t even write the motherfukin’ words.”

There was no time to finish this now, anyway. He’d heard the door a few minutes ago: Sam was back, and he should be in the shower now. There was a case they were driving up to today, and he’d already made up his mind: it would be his last. He was officially retiring after today (not that he’d told Sam anything about that yet, but… he’d figure out how to say it on the way back).

They were supposed to leave after breakfast for a whole day of driving.

Chuck was defeated and Jack had vanished, having become the new God (that was still crazy to think about). There were no immediate world-ending threats and no more infinitely powerful surrogate son to take care of anymore. He was done hunting. If Cas was truly gone forever, then he’d honor his sacrifice by living the best possible life he could live. And that life, however he looked at it… That life didn’t include hunting. Not anymore.

Dean sat down to tie his boots, and as he did, a second pair of boots appeared right in front of him. “Man, that was fast. I didn’t even hear the damned door just now. You’re gonna have to give me a break, Sammy.” But when he raised his gaze, he found himself looking at Jack, standing there with a small smile.

The color drained out of Dean’s face. For a moment, he could only stare at Jack, wondering if he was imagining it.

“Hello, Dean. You’ve been okay?” Jack said, sounding a little timid, to which Dean replied, “Yeah… I’m fine, no thanks to you… Almost gave this old man a heart attack…” Dean joked, a little breathless, and God or not, this was Jack, so he pulled him into a hug. “Come here. How’ve you been? It’s so good to see you…”

“I’ve been good,” Jack said, and he pulled away. “There’s someone else who’s been wanting to see you." Jack beamed. "Believe me, it took me a while to negotiate (you won’t be surprised to know, not even God is entirely all powerful), but I finally did it…”

And that was when Dean felt it, the powerful presence behind him.

He could do nothing but stand there as the realization of what Jack meant dawned on him, until the words broke him out of the spell, “Hello, Dean.”

Dean turned around, and there he saw…

“Cas…”

Castiel was standing there, right in front of his bed. He was fully restored; Dean didn’t need to see a shadow of his wings to know this was Cas in his full angelic power, safe and alive and standing right there in his bedroom. “But… how?”

“We heard your prayers,” Jack said, “and Cas didn’t belong in the Empty. I had to right a wrong.”

“You damn well had to…” said Dean, still staring at Cas. “Jack…” He finally turned back to thank him—to say anything—but Jack was gone.

“Dean… I’m so sorry…” Cas said. “I should’ve—”

“What are you talking about, man… You’re back… That’s all that matters.”

“I owe it all to Jack. He is everything I hoped he would become,” Cas said, and he smiled.

And then, there was silence. Even though Dean had been writing a long letter just moments ago, full of all the things he wished he could have said to Cas that day, here was Cas in the flesh right now—his Cas—and not a single word would form.

So Dean just pulled Cas into a hug and squeezed him tight, breathing him in.

“I’m sorry it all happened so abruptly; I wish I could—” Cas started.

“I don’t care. Cas… I don’t care.” Dean pulled back from the hug, staring Cas straight in the face with his hands still on his arms. “All I care is that you’re here.”

Cas looked sad, or perhaps, conflicted. “Dean… I know… What I said before…” he started, but Dean stopped him again.

“Cas… If you heard me just now… If you’ve heard my prayers, to you, to Jack… Then you know. But still… I feel like I should say something.”

“Dean… You really don’t have to—”

“But I’m not good at saying something, so…” he pulled Cas into a kiss. It was warm and tender, and salty with the tears that had finally pushed their way out. Cas kissed him right back, and when they stopped, they stood there sharing each other’s breath, with their lips just an inch away from another kiss.

“I think that should be enough of an answer… But if it wasn’t, Cas…” Dean smiled, a small, trembling smile, and it was almost a whisper when he said, “I love you, too.”

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

Hey Alex!! Hopefully you can rest and relax a little bit with your free weeks!! I’m currently drowning in uni work and revision 😭😭 but I’m interested in the salty asks so here you go: 2, 3 and 14 😊 lots of love 💙 xx Mel

Hey Mel, I’m sorry to hear that as I know just how much it sucks. If it makes you feel better, I am studying for my board exams so it’s a break but not really a break 🥴

Thanks for the ask 💚

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?*

I mean the obvious one is Destiel, it’s fun to joke sure, but I’ve just never seen it personally. But you can make anything look like something if you want to see it that way.

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

Oh yeah, lots and lots of times. This website was my happy place for the longest time and if I didn’t want to see it, it wasn’t on my dash. See the last question 😅 though I’ve unfollowed for many other reasons. We don’t stan the negativity.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

Um…. honestly this fandom puts on a good face, but if you don’t have the same opinions as someone else, people turn toxic real fast. I’ve gotten legit hate for the wildest of things. People calling me a shitty person for trying to validate other peoples feelings. There is a high moral standard that is unrealistic to hold humans to.

[legendary-destiel]

Oh wow... You brought me to tears (for the 235 time today, but it's alright, that's the general mood today) THANK YOU for your emotional, meaningful and important post. Thank you so much for mentioning little me, I'm proud you enjoyed the last week's with us, and YES I DID too.

I'm in the same boat. During the summer, the big covid break, I made my peace with supernatural. I knew that we would never get the ending that we want or dream of, but I was totally okay with it. I just enjoyed the wonderful cloud that this fandom and especially the Destiel fandom is, and I was happy.

Then 15x18 hit us like a hurricane.

And now you've opened my eyes, by saying that they are the empty and we are Cas, and suddenly ALL makes fucking sense. We were happy, ppl came back to the fandom and 15x18 truly was EPIC. I can never thank Berens, Richard, Jensen and Misha enough for giving us THIS EPISODE.

What followed, just didn't even feel real, and while I'm kinda accepting 15x19 as God's big end boss fight and so on (yes I'm that desperate), I just can't with 15x20. I'm always trying to pick out the good aspects for myself and I cling to them like a goddamn lifeline. But there are so few... So few. I can't begin to explain, cause it'll eat up this post but y'all know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, THE BEST PART was always the fandom. Screaming with you guys. Analysing pics, scenes story arcs. Writing and reading fanfic. you're absolutely right, my friend, THAT'S WHAT'S REAL and will always be. My mind desperately wants to forget the last 2 episodes and I will. I'm good in that.

I know this is just another ranting post but I'm so happy to not be alone in this mess.

We wanted more. SO MUCH MORE for these beloved characters. Sam, Dean and Cas. Eileen. Jody, Donna, Charlie. Even Garth. They are all part of the family. And I'm refusing to believe they didn't show up at Dean's funeral. Yeah I know, Covid is a bitch and made many things difficult, or in fact impossible to film. So alright, no family reunion, nope. But Dean seeing Cas in heaven, was the least I was expecting. Okay not even seeing him. But his voice? A flap of wings? But Nope. Sam with Eileen? Nope.

What bothers me the most is that I am even so upset... It's *just* a TV show, I know. And there are definitely worse things that could happen in real life. But. The feelings we feel are real too, and yeah.

It hurts.

Also this is not against actors, they did a great job, all of them, always.

Love you all💙💚🤗

Well it's officially been 15 hours since I began realizing that my hopes were about to be crushed, and my fears would become reality.

I stepped away from Supernatural earlier in season 15 because I knew the only ending to this show would be death for at least one brother. I knew that for my mental health I needed a break, or to step away entirely, from Tumblr and from the show. It was consuming me, and I was letting it.

I didn't think Destiel would ever happen. I had made my peace with that, and I left the show during a time where not a lot of drama was happening. It worked, and I was able to continue loving Destiel through fan fiction, and occasional moments that I would later on see on Tumblr.

Then 15x18 happened. And the whole world exploded in rainbows and black goo. And I said to myself, "Well if they're going to let THIS happen, then it might soften the blow of seeing one of my boys die a perma death."

It did not.

Supernatural, I cried myself to sleep last night. And I'm crying again writing this post, because you took my hope, gave me a HEARTBREAKING death scene, and then NOTHING to tape my heart back up again.

To Jared & Jensen - you performed the most emotional scene I have seen in an incredibly long time. And I applaud you for it. I'm mad at how it went down, but I give you credit for making me feel feelings.

To Misha - you deserved better than to be an extra they had to cut due to covid. I'm devastated for you.

To the Supernatural fandom - I don't know what I'll do without you guys now. I truly cannot grasp the reality that I'll never be able to analyze another gif set, or image of Dean's bedroom, or wonder if Sammy is going to get hit in the head again. I'll never see green and blue the same. I'll never be able to listen to Carry On My Wayward Son the same, if at all. I'll never hear the words "you changed me" again without wanting to punch something.

To the friends, and mutuals I was interacting with and had to step away from - I'm truly sorry that we have been so misled by the story. I've enjoyed the last two weeks immensely, and can't put into words how much I will miss this. (Alphabetically tagging a few specifics that have been either on my mind or in my notifications recently, but there are SO many of you that I will miss dearly.) @amyoatmeal @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @emblue-sparks @legendary-destiel @madimoo31 @mmangoss @mrsaquaman187 @savannadarkbaby @savemecastiel @shippsblog @spn-bitchh @spnjohnlocked @verobatto-angelxhunter @weird-dorky-little-d

Each and every one of you has made this experience so meaningful. You asked what about all this was real? What the point was? We are.

To the writers - I have no words. I know you did what you thought would be a great ending, and maybe I'll look back in another 15 years and be at peace with it.. there were some good moments, but for me I will always remember what was missing.

I understand now. You were the Empty and WE were Castiel. The moment we let ourselves be happy, you came for us. The moment we FORGOT and let the sun shine on our faces, you brought us to nothing. And then left us to burn with our regrets.

I suppose I should thank you for letting me see Sam shirtless one last time, but then you destroyed that with a stupid wig too. I should thank you for the fact that Cas was in heaven and was able to fix it with Jack, and spend eternity as TFW after all, but we didn't even get more than an eyebrow raise and half a smile. You couldn't have used his voice in this episode instead of 15x19? Now I'm mad about Lucifer again. I will never be over the fact that you thought we'd want to see him again, instead of literally any other character.

I'm ENRAGED. That you took my Sammy, and all his character growth, and leadership development, and said "the only peace for him is if everyone he loves is taken from him and is left with only one path in life, and that's the apple pie life where he can grow old and have a kid" WHAT.

I might add more later, I don't know. Right now I am sick with grief over this finale. I know I can't look at it objectively, I know a lot of people out there did enjoy it. I am not one of those people. And I knew better.

[spidr-rnan]

okay but i still need to process, i gave so much of my time, energy, love, criticism, and basically my life for the last 10 years to Supernatural. I'm mourning an Era of my life right now. There's me before jumping into the Supernatural fandom, and me After jumping in and falling in love with Dean Sam and Castiel.

i Honestly don't know if I'll ever dedicate my life to a show like i did with supernatural. like i wrote FAN FICTION and even a drew some fanart. I think the only other fandom i dedicated years to was probably h*rry p*tter. it just feels weird and sad that it ended like this. and on top of that, i cannot help but think what the ending would have been had the pandemic not hit? i feel like the pandemic really hindered what could have been a beautiful ending.

im ranting now, sorry. I just can't believe its over. AND THEY SQUEEZED IN A LOVE CONFESSION FROM CAS??? annd!! dean said it back in spanish?? I can't wrap my head around this yet. i need to lie down. Though, everytime i think about it, it brings pain to my 2013 destiel shipper heart, especially because of how it ended. but i digress.

Yeah idk man, Supernatural, not perfect, but i loved every minute of it. I'm going to miss my boys. omg im gonna cry again. okay okay I'll stop here. Thank you Misha Collins, Jensen Ackles, and Jared Padalecki for changing my life.

#SPNFamilyForever.

💙💚

okay now that i finally caught up on supernatural, and CRIED i can come back to tumblr and not worry about the spoilers