#and I'm trying not be just shitty angry but maybe passion angry as well. and not giving a fuck angry. but in a good way kinda sorta.
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casekt · 2 years ago
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I know who I am but I can't remember
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ebongawk · 2 months ago
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Hi!! HUGE fan of “even the stars (are taking aim)” here (very patiently waiting for the next chapter to drop😌🙏) and figured I may as well try out this prompt thing:
Eddie and Chrissy having their first Big Damn Kiss in a rainstorm, someplace where no one can see them, maybe after some kind of argument so they’re already passionate. I’d love to see what you create from this decently cliched premise😊✨
omg, thank you so much! 🥹 every star in the sky was updated on Tuesday!! and I'm hoping to be back to a semi-regular update schedule. however:
🌧️🌧️
He shouldn't be pissed.
He shouldn't be pissed.
He shouldn't be pissed.
(He was fucking fuming.)
Because it was August. The absolute tail end of the last summer he would ever spend in Hawkins, Indiana if he had fuck all to say about it. Because this was the absolute last goddamn high school-adjacent party he would ever be posted up at as a dealer, selling the bottom of his stash's barrel and high-tailing it the fuck outta here in four days.
Because he'd spent the last eight months falling into a weird, incredible friendship with Chrissy Cunningham and convincing her she was actually fucking worth something more than her mother let her believe, getting her to break up with her shitty boyfriend and start the process of reclaiming her life, only for her to show up at this stupid party on Jason Carver's arm.
She'd dumped him in March. Before spring break. Yet here she was, tucked under his ugly-ass letterman sleeve as she nursed the same red solo cup the entire night, and it made him want to fucking barf.
Eddie rolled his neck. Tucking another cigarette between his lips as he cranked up the prices of his product out of sheer spite. Taking advantage of the hazy stupor and fading into the background.
Chrissy tried to get his attention. More than once. He just ignored her.
What the fuck else was he supposed to do? Watching her intentionally go back to that asshole wasn't really something he'd even thought was a possibility. So why would he have prepared himself for the blow?
He just didn't think it'd hurt so fucking much.
Finally, after about midnight, he was officially sold out. Out of the game entirely. He snapped his box of tricks closed, protecting the crinkled pack of cigarettes from the summer rainstorm he could see pelting the porch screens. He didn't bother bidding anyone goodnight.
The one person he thought would care was too busy flashing the fakest fucking smile she had in her arsenal at that blond jockstrap.
Whatever. Screw it. Who cared? A year from now, he'd be so far removed from all this bullshit that it wouldn't even cross his mind.
(Even if that thought currently made him want to puke up his guts and choke on them.)
Uncaring of who he hit on his way out, Eddie slipped out the front door after smashing into a few angry shoulders. The shouts of indignation at his back may as well have been whispers for how much of them he heard, bowling his way into the warm rain and rushing toward his van.
He always parked hidden away from these events. Ever since Hopper decided to be happy and move to California with Joyce Byers and company, the P.D. had it especially out for Eddie. Giving Callahan a reason to crash a party would have him on way too many shit-lists to count.
Which was normally fine. Except right now. Soaked through by the rain and barely halfway to his stupid fucking sanctuary.
"Eddie!"
Christ.
Her voice still made him stop in his tracks. Shoulders heaving, spine straightening like someone suddenly jammed a rod down it.
Why did it hurt so much?
Turning, he tried to keep his expression as even as possible as he looked at her. Drenched from the stupid water falling from the stupid sky, her hair was already a mess plastered to her skin as she did her best to protect herself from the onslaught.
Too bad Eddie had already been caught in the metaphorical crossfire.
"What, Cunningham?" he asked, giving her obvious pause as she blinked up at him. He'd never been so harsh with her.
He didn't even know why he was being so harsh with her.
(Yes he did.)
"I-I just..." she started, holding an arm over her eyes so she could look up at him. They were standing in the spotlight of a streetlamp, the only thing illuminated in the entire world, and that anger still oozed from him like a bad infection. Festering too close to the surface to remain covered. Like the rain was washing it out, bringing it forward. "You–– You didn't, um, say hi, and you––"
"Okay?" He shrugged. "So, what, I'm legally required to exchange pleasantries with you every time I see you?"
"No, of course not, just––"
"Honestly, kid, I just wanna go home," he said before she could continue. Backing up a step. "Been nice, y'know, being friendly and all, but––" Coming to an immediate halt when one of her dainty little hands darted out and fisted in the wet fabric of his t-shirt.
"Eddie, you're being mean," she stated, her voice hard. Something she learned from him, he knew. Saying things, pointing out when people were being unfair instead of just writing welcome across her forehead and lying down for someone to be shitty to her. "And I–– I know this is about Jason, okay, but you didn't even let me explain––"
"Explain what, Cunningham?" he nearly shouted. "Because, honestly, I cannot for the life of me figure out why you'd willingly find yourself trapped under the weight of that jerk wad's arm."
"Because I need to be!" Chrissy really did shout, shaking her fist in his shirt for emphasis. The other was fisted against her own abdomen. Letting those mascara streaks fall down her cheeks like tear tracks.
Eddie scoffed. "Oh, you need to be? Excuse me, princess, didn't realize you needed him so much!"
"I don't––"
"Could've fucking fooled me, honestly!"
"I don't need him, Eddie! I just need to play her game for three more days and then––"
But she didn't finish her thought.
Instead, before he could even process what was happening, she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and surged up onto her toes, pressing her lips clumsily against his.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Eddie didn't think. Didn't fucking breathe. He just groaned, cupping her jaw in his hands and kissing her like his fucking life depended on it.
She tasted like rainwater and watermelon lipgloss and the fucking sunrise breaking past the clouds, basking him in her light and warming him against the rain. They moved together, a dance of lips and tongue, her little mewl of pleasure rolling down his spine as he greedily drank in every piece of her she was allowing him.
Shit. Shit. This was gonna hurt, wasn't it?
They fell apart, both of them pulling in air like they'd forgotten they had lungs, and Eddie let his forehead drop against hers. Holding her for however long he was allowed, how ever long she gave him.
"I don't need him," she whispered again, her voice near enough that it was like he could finally hear her. "I'm not even with him. It's just... It's just until I get my college fund, and then..."
"Does he know that?" Eddie asked, hating the vehemence in his own tone.
"Yes, Eddie," she assured him. "He's not as bad of a guy as you want to believe, you know." Her hands came up, wrapping around his wrists as she looked up at him. Blinking into the rain, she gave him a real, actual smile. One of those little ones he kinda hoped was reserved just for him. "He knows how I..."
She shook her head, then blew his fucking mind when she pushed up enough to kiss him again.
"I need you," she informed him. And Eddie could see her opening the little doorway into his chest and reaching in to pull his heart out. Though whether she was doing that now or eight fucking months ago was impossible to say. "I want you and I need you."
Oh, he was gonna explode. Poof into a million little bits, covering her in heart-shaped blood and viscera.
"Only if you need me, too, though," she finished when his fucking voice box wouldn't work.
He kissed her again. An emphasis to a point he couldn't verbally make. And she melted against him like it was everything she needed, everything she'd been craving alongside him for the last eight months.
"Christ, sweetness, I think I'm already in love with you," he laughed, the sound wet around the rain still falling around them.
"Oh," she breathed, looking up at him, her eyes so fucking bright in that subtle streetlamp light that he wanted to claw his way out of his own skin and use it as an umbrella for her. "Oh, that's good."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Because, um, I was hoping you'd have room for two in that van of yours come Wednesday." She grinned. "Should have all my stuff sorted out by then."
Eddie laughed again, bright and loud, letting the rain wash away all that gross upset so he could lift her by the waist and spin her around. She screamed in delight, arms around his shoulders, and he stopped and held her steadily above him so she could bring her lips down to his once more.
"I've got all the room in the fucking world for you, baby."
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masterkirby · 27 days ago
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group therapy week 3
we got to sit on the floor (mattress like pillows) today and the talking finally flowed more
the first "segment" was about work life after Al's question to Ja
Ja finished ethnography and did work in that field for state institutions where the money is dogshit even if the work is good and what you're passionate about...
Pi's words annoyed me a bit here cause while they were trying to be helpful, it was like basic annoying coaching stuff -- telling Ja to use their management skills (so the thing Ja didn't seem to enjoy and why they quit their job in the end...) beyond the world of ethnography where it sounded like that's the stuff that Ja wants to do and maybe they can't find a job precisely because some NGO corpo shit doesn't cut it
Pi annoyed me on another occasion today when I had my say on how, ok, it's cool that we can say that sth annoyed us in therapy (if we can, I wasn't able to tell Pi), but we can either escalate and that usually ends badly or we can take the responsibility for our anger because usually sth annoys us cause we're hungry or slept badly and im like... Yeah, ofc. But what about when sb is actually doing sth shitty and hurtful. Oh well.
Anyway, jobs. Ja also voiced how they hoped there would be more people their age to share similar problems or stop hearing about endless possibilities when it seems like they want to settle down or at least have a job contract type of job to start gathering benefits... And they seem the "free" type of person, they didn't want to get into academia cause it's too... hermetic & doesn't actually have much to do with real people hah
Hmm
So M told Ja later that they were angry for a bit that Ja voiced their age concerns that that means some kind of disregard and treating the group like test subjects or tools to find a job but they thought that over and reached the conclusion that that was an overreach -- but M said it out loud and to Ja so that was interesting because they were the most closed in themselves but say some of the most personal things; I caught them looking at me a few times even when I wasn't saying anything? I started worrying I might be hostile to them.
Generally I feel like part of a social experiment but that's ok. At least it's interesting but I don't feel able to open up for now.
Pa annoys me due to their similarity to types of ppl I dislike. The "I'm so empathetic and I just want to keep giving" types, and Pa even said today on one occasion that when they wanted to share a "they" story as a follow-up to what Ja was still in the process of saying, that when R cut them off, they felt that their good will wasn't acknowledged where they just wanted to GIVE. And I guess I want to get to know their psyche better to understand Ki who also seems so egotistic in their narration of "I just want to give my all to others"
Hnmn
K didn't say much. But they said to the work thing that nowadays we change jobs all the time and mostly we have to be good with people which just
Hurt so much
Just like what Pi was saying
Because us autists(?) don't get that in life, not easily at least. And I *need* to do sth I'm at least a bit passionate about. I can't be a lawyer firm marketing person like K.
Ad had a few personal stories to share and seems a bit neuroatypical as well? They were stressed over emails to the professor they have an internship with, cause the prof is chaotic and seems to have frequent mood changes and generally a chaotic and hard to read way of being. Ad also low-key threw in that they're queer which got no reaction which, well, if I felt I could ask, did they feel relieved that it was just accepted like that or if they wanted to talk more about it, get more reassurance.
Rite
Pi talked at the very end of the session about their feelings about their breakup, that they've eased into work so are feeling the breakup more now. And that they feel the asshole. But also that they're looking for the reasons why they look for romantic relationships in the first place. So they felt compelled to tinder but didn't , because they didn't want that way of gratification and perhaps falling into another thing.
This is where Ad talked about their own feelings and anxieties to do with that app. That they try their best masks as a cure for loneliness but, well, it doesn't work.
Also Pi, ever playing the group coach, casually threw in that they did a PhD in chemistry during COVID cause why not, secure money and then they wanted to quit but the institute didn't want to let them, cause money, so for the next two years they were only formally doing that PhD and just had to write their thesis and boom. They have my dream of YEARS just like that. Amazing how life is. Miej wyjebane a będzie Ci dane?
Disclosure: I like Pi tho, they seem authentically kind.
I feel some affection for Ja, Al, Pi and Ad
Pa, M, and K make me feel uneasy
Jo is soft but I worry for them in their softness
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the-far-bright-center · 11 months ago
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I've been quite surprised as well, and I'm someone who has been fairly critical of most of what he's done under Disney. But outright hating him? Or being angry he is involved with Star Wars? No. I do not actually get that or share that opinion. My honest opinion is that right now, putting him in charge is 'too little, too late'. If anything, Filoni should have been the one to make the Sequels. Would they have been perfect? Of course not, no SW media is. But regardless of his quirks and flaws, and no matter what specific scenes, details, or characterisations he might get 'wrong', Filoni does actually understand and have genuine passion for Star Wars. He may go off on his own weird tangents and fanfiction-y directions that I don't agree with, but people need to remember that while working under Disney, he's had to essentially play clean up to the Sequels' horrific mess. We'll never actually know what Filoni Star Wars would have looked like if he could have approached it fresh from the get go. The early seasons of Rebels (which I actually enjoyed, it was only in the later seasons that Rebels went off the rails for me) are probably the closest to that we'll get. But once TFA and the Sequels came out, any and all SW creators have had to work within that awful set of parameters (particularly if doing anything set post-ROtJ). THAT is why I quit watching DIsney SW, not because I hate Filoni. Whatever issues one may have with his work, Filoni isn't to blame for the mess that Disney SW has become, that's all on whoever thought those stupid sequels were a good idea; whoever decided to get rid of tiered canon (aka how the old Expanded Universe used to be structured); and whoever thought trying to mimic the MCU was the right thing for Star Wars (hint: it's absolutely not). Every shitty thing about current Disney SW can be traced back to those decisions.
Filoni is far from perfect, but it's ridiculous to act like he's the one who caused all the current problems for Disney, when in reality they should have utilised more of his input sooner and maybe we wouldn't have ended up here....
(Personally, I just wish that whoever is in charge of Star Wars would re-instate tiered canon so that only the six Lucas films are actual canon, and the rest would simply be considered Expanded Universe again. But alas, that is unlikely....)
I really don't get the Filoni hate on this site. Has he done some weird shit with SW? Sure. Does he have some weird opinions? Sure. But most of the stuff he's done has been fine to great. Y'all hated George the same way back in the day. I feel like between Kennedy and Filoni, the choice should be obvious? Someone explain.
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polyghostfacehours · 3 years ago
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Hi I'm literally in love with Frank Morrison so if you could write an afab fem presenting but not identifying (looks feminine/has coochie/doesn't use she her) s/o like, purposefully pissing him off during a trial so he's rougher with them I'd die (please I, I love him)
Patrician taste anon. Frank is a snack and a half. Love that his shitty-tattoo havin ass. Have a sexy drabble!
TW: NSFW
"Ah!..F-Frank! Sto-"
"Oh my god! Shut the fuck up!"
You wailed. But Frank was too preoccupied with pounding his cock in and out of you to care for your begging. And to be honest, even if he wasn't, he still wouldn't care.
After the shit you pulled, you deserved it. At least that's what he told you and himself as he had bent you forward, your hands flat against the wall, and your thighs spread.
The tug and pull of him was inside of your walls pleasurable. Delicious. But you wouldn't be able to cum like this. Cruelty had reared it's ungodly head within Frank, and his fingers spread your outer labia apart, withholding any possible friction against your clit.
Maybe you shouldn't have flashlight saved so much the past few rounds with him. Or dropped that many pallets on his head. Or wear that one tight pair of pants he loved so much, only to escape hatch at the end.
You loved seeing Frank riled up. It was animalistic, intoxicating, and sexy. So you had done all those deeds in hopes of frustrating him to the point of angry, passionate lovemaking. Instead, you were treated to torturous, unrelenting hatesex.
"You think you're fuckin' slick don't you Y/N?" he growled, pace still unrelenting. The hand that wasn't on your labia reeled back and cracked you across the ass, and you prayed to the Entity itself that poor Quentin didn't hear it across the map.
You try to reach down and rub yourself, but Frank slammed you against the wall before you could.
"Don't. You...hnngh, oh...Dare. You fucker." he growled.
His cock angled upwards, pistoning against that spot deep within, as well as rubbing against the the sensitive, ridged tissue that lied within the first inch or two of your cunt. And you know, you know, that if you could just reach down and rub yourself you'd be able to cum. Maybe if you're good he'll let you after a bit.
All hopes of that are dashed as Frank picks up his already speedy pace, his breath labored. Hot pants escape his mouth, and you briefly wondered if he could Feral Frenzy during sex.
In the heat of the moment, you try and turn your head to kiss him, mask or not, before he grabs your jaw and turns your head back forwards.
"Oh, no no no, baby. Only good little sluts get that."
Your groan of frustration turns into a wail of disappointment as Frank spills his hot release within you moments later, sticky ropes of cum filling you, denying you your release.
After catching his breath, he pulls out of you and unceremoniously shoves you to the ground. He let's you collapse in a heap as he tucks himself away, stretching his back and cracking his neck afterwards. If this was the real world, you wouldn't have taken that shit from any man. Unfortunately, you've found that your standards for boyfriends have lowered dramatically since you've gotten here.
By the time you'd looked up, Frank was gone, most likely to off Quentin. You gathered your still buzzing, unsatisfied self up, straightened your clothes (and wiped his oozing cum from your entrance with a shudder), then made your way outside. You hear a scream, the telltale sign that Quentin has been downed, and once the ominous shudder of the entity claiming a sacrifice rings through the map, you go looking for the hatch.
You find it eventually, and are surprised to not see Frank already standing before it. But as you step forward, you freeze. Frank was leaning against a tree, not too far from the hatch, doing little acrobatics with his knife.
He nods to the whirring hatch, and your chest blooms with a light feeling as you begin to dash towards it. You also notice for the first time that he hadn't stabbed you at all this match, even when he had caught you to fuck you raw. As fucked up as your relationship with him was, it was these small moments of kindness that made it worth it.
Your hopes are crushed when you catch a blur of movement in your peripheral and suddenly you feel the sting of his blade in your left calf. He pulls you towards him, making you fall onto your stomach to the floor. You scream as his blade thrusts itself into your back, angling upwards, not at all unlike the way his dick was thrusting into you earlier.
Oh, sweet irony.
"Hope you learned your lesson." Frank said, his voice sarcastic yet sickly sweet in tone. He presses an almost-tender-but-not-quite-so kiss to the top of your head, and as you fade away into the entity's grip a singular thought crosses your mind.
Asshole.
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scaramouche-bully · 3 years ago
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i hope this isn't rude to ask, but why do you write dark content topics like noncon and abuse? i'm a s/a and abuse survivor who had no problem with these things before my trauma but afterwards i became angry at people who made such content. now i'm trying to remember that people have different reasons for writing these things and i've been asking writers what their thoughts are. i've been following you for a while and i know you're kind and not ill intentioned in your writing, so i was wondering what your views are. this isn't meant to be hateful at all and i am just curious and want to understand. if this makes you uncomfortable feel free to delete it!
Hello anon,
Don't worry, this isn't rude to ask at all. I respect that you want to understand and this is from curiosity rather than being hateful (which I don't take your ask as such) and that you remember that there's a person behind the work. To be honest, I don't really know how to answer your question so I might go on a tangent. I hope you don't take my words as fact or my entire thought process but I just want to say:
I don't support rape or abuse. I don't want anyone to think that just because I write it, I fantasize about it or condone it in any way. I don't. I'm not trying to offend or make anyone angry, that's why I tag everything twice and add a read more. It's your choice whether to believe me or not, I just ask that you don't harass me under those assumptions.
To put it bluntly, it's just writing to me. When you see people write or do something really obscure or relating to dark content, you're completely right to assume it's because they're interested in those topics. But that's not necessarily the same for everything and everyone. I can't speak on the behalf of every single writer out there but personally, it's just something to explore from an omniscient point of view. I'm not going to bullshit you or sugarcoat my words, I'm not a survivor and the harassment and abuse that I have suffered aren't traumatic to me. That's why I can think that way and it's not because I have any ill-intent or I'm trying to undermine or pretend that those issues aren't serious. They are. Personally, I would get very upset as well because, in my mind, someone is taking something very personal and traumatic and doing what? Writing about it with fictional characters that they want to fuck? It feels insulting in a way. Naturally, I have no idea what you feel but that's how I would react.
But it's similar to any murder/mafia au or even yandere. Does that mean I like killing people or obsessive behaviour? No, absolutely not. When I write a character or direct a movie and someone is shooting someone, does that mean I'm into violence or condone guns? No, that was not the intention at all. We can say it's "not the same thing" and you're totally valid to think that way. But for me, it is. I'm not pretending as if murder or abuse doesn't exist or it's something to want. When it's in shows or books, no one really bats an eye to that. Maybe it's the stigma with fanfic authors that we're all 13-year old quotev writers/readers (I used to be one so I'm really just making fun of myself here) that we rightfully assume it's because we like those topics or we fantasize about being in those situations. Because why else would I want to read or write about x reader fics with those topics?
You don't need me to tell you that it's reasonable to be angry at people that make dark content. I myself, don't really like dark content that much either. I don't daydream about being used and I don't like feeling upset. Which I guess doesn't make sense especially for the type of fics I write. But when I actually write, there's a major disconnect between fiction and reality and I understand that it's not like that for everyone else. Writers pov compared to a reader's pov I feel is very different. I can be a selfish person and write this way because I've never been through it. But it's never from a place of disrespect and I apologize if it feels that way but I can't control what you feel. All I ask is that you read the tags and determine whether or not you want to associate with it. To me, it's just words on a paper and action queues I'm giving to imaginary characters. I'm not fantasizing about anything, I don't even like sex that much. I just think it's something to write that I feel like doing. For example, I don't care for Venti at all. He's cute I guess but I don't want to fuck him. But I still write for him and how I write makes it seem as if I actually look at Venti that way. I don't, it's just writing. I guess it's the same question as to why do you write in general. Because it's fun? I wouldn't really call it "fun" and more of a hobby that I like to do. This doesn't really make sense since people that do anything as a hobby naturally assume they have a passion or like it. In a sense, it's kind of like this: You enjoy drawing but if someone asked you to draw a monster, yes you could do it because you like to draw but it's not like you're putting your heart or deep emotional thoughts into it. It's just a drawing of a monster. You've never had an experience with a monster (in a fictional sense) so there's nothing for you to be traumatized with. There might be some aspects, spikes or tentacles, that make you uncomfortable, sure. And people can find deeper meanings in your work and make assumptions when there isn't, to you it's just an image.
I know this is an incredibly shitty way to explain why I write dark content because it sounds like I don't care or I think abuse/noncon subjects don't matter because it's "just words on a paper". I get it, in movies when the protagonist is abused or has been a survivor of rape and that doesn't go anywhere. That it's just a way for the movie to pity the main character or to explain why they act a certain way, it feels cheap and manufactured and I hate it. But I always believe that as long as you aren't doing anything illegal or endangering yourself + others, I don't care what you do. When I see topics that I personally find disgusting or don't like, I just move on. They aren't hurting me in any way and they're allowed to write what they want to write. I know that isn't the same for everyone and that kind of thinking is very romanticized but I like to think that I'm smart enough to know when that thinking breaks or isn't acceptable.
Sorry that I keep drawing comparisons, it's just how I like to explain things and it's easier for me to explain my thoughts that way. My writing is like a snow globe. Sure it has some real connotations with the snow that comes from nature, but it's not real snow. It's an overly pretty, dream-like world, that can never be cold and doesn't show how awful living with a lot of snow does to you. People that have never seen snow, they'll love it because it doesn't remind them of actual snow since they've never experienced it. But I have, I live in NA. Except I understand that it's just a snow globe. Sure it might make someone uncomfortable for any reason, but it doesn't for me and at the end of the day, it's just an object to me. You can take that as a very selfish way of thinking but I'm not going to throw my snowglobe in the trash just because someone doesn't like it. I know for a fact that anything I write isn't meant to trigger or make anyone upset, I write it because I want to explore those topics. I don't think it's hot, I don't think it's okay, and I don't condone it in real life. But it's just writing to me, it's just fiction, it's a way for me to explore those topics in a way that I am comfortable. If you don't like it and it triggers you, that is completely okay and understandable, but that wasn't my intention and I'm not going to stop.
I hope that answers your question and gives you a bit of insight into my views. I know my way of thinking isn't for everyone and you're allowed to disagree with it. Dark content is a very thin line that a lot of people aren't comfortable with and I acknowledge that. I don't even like dark content that much but I'm not going to stop writing about it. I'll tag everything, crop away topics that trigger people, and to be honest, I don't find myself writing about dark content ever unless an anon asks for it. But if you don't like me or disagree with what I've said, the block button is right there.
- 🐑
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whumperooni · 4 years ago
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Natsuo getting tired of Touya stealing amd fucking his girlfriends that years later he finally fucks the one girl dabi actually cared about. What am I saying I'm a dabi Stan lol
No, nonny, please- that’s so good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Natsuo’s put up with Touya’s bullshit for years and years- has had to go through his prick of a brother stealing his girlfriends and fucking them stupid for years. Touya deserves a comeuppance- he really, really does.
And by god Natsuo is going to be the one to give it to him.
It’s nothing he intentionally sets out to do. Yes, he has a burning resentment towards his brother and he wants to make Touya feel the same rage and humiliation he himself has been subjected to so many times over the years. But he doesn’t know how to get back at his brother- it’s not like fucking one of the girls Touya messes around with will do anything. Natsuo knows Touya doesn’t give a shit about them. He knows that Touya would just laugh in his face. Touya doesn’t care about them. He never cares about them. Never. He’s never cared about anyone.
Except, well....
Except for you.
Sweet, cute little you that had Touya wrapped around your finger. Sweet, cute little you that had Touya soft and weak with just a giggle and a smile. Sweet, cute little you that had Touya following you around like a puppy dog without even trying.
Sweet, cute little you that broke Touya’s heart into so many pieces.
Sweet, cute little you that just so happens to be sitting in the bar Natsuo’s in- all by yourself in a booth with a sad, lonely little expression on your face.
Seeing you is like a blast from the past- Natsuo hasn’t seen you in years. Not since you broke Touya’s heart. Not since you ran from the house sobbing and scared because Touya couldn’t accept the fact that you broke up with him and tried to strangle you despite the hero commission having been visiting their father.
(And what a day that had been- Natsuo had never seen Enji so pissed before. Touya couldn’t move right for a good week after Enji had beat his ass.
That was the only time Natsuo had been okay with his father’s temper)
It’s been forever since he’s saw you, but it’s clearly you sitting all by yourself in that lonely booth. It’s a surprise but, more importantly enough, seeing you so suddenly after such a long time makes something in Natsuo’s brain click.
Before he knows it, he’s ditching his friends and sliding into the seat across from you. He grins when you look up at him in surprise and that grin grows when startled confusion gets replaced by wide eyes and a delighted smile.
“Natsuo!”
You had always liked Natsuo. Maybe more than you had liked Touya, even. Natsuo had always been good to you- sweet and friendly and nice. Not like Touya had been at all. Seeing him is a surprise, something you’re happy about- that’s very clear to see.
And seeing you has the gears in Natsuo’s mind slowly turning, jerkily moving. Seeing you has an inkling of an idea forming- nothing quite concrete just yet; a vague notion that has the tint of something a little mean and a little selfish and very satisfying.
The idea doesn’t really completely form until the two of you are chatting and catching up and you just happen to let slip about a recent breakup with a particularly shitty sounding boyfriend.
“I really know how to pick them,” you tell him- lips forming a small pout as you sigh and a finger twirling a lock of hair. “He was almost as bad as Touya....”
It takes a moment for you to realize what you just said and there’s an immediate blush on your face- eyes widening and embarrassment, panicking flicking across your expression. Natsuo just smiles despite your worry, though, and he leans his cheek on his fist, offers a friendly grin.
“He must have been a real douchebag then- Touya’s pretty hard to beat, let alone get close to in terms of dickishness.”
A startled giggle leaves you- awkward and surprised- and it fleshes out into something more loose and carefree. You relax when Natsuo joins in with a laugh of his own and are happy to jump on the change of conversation when he asks about school.
Natsuo listens as you talk about your classes and your studies and your roommate. He buys you a drink when you finish your first. And then he buys you another. And one more after that. He watches with an easy, friendly grin as a rosy blush claims your cheeks and as your voice gets softer and a little whiny when you talk about something that makes you pout. He’s handsome and his eyes are half-lidded, almost seductive as he flirts in a nice, non-predatory way that you’re really not quite used to. His flirting seems...safe. Friendly and without consequences if you don’t reciprocate. It’s nice, has you relaxing even more past what the booze has you lulled you to.
Which, really, he didn’t have to keep buying you booze and getting you drunk. You had been hesitantly considering getting into bed with him by the time you finished your first drink- mind unable to help but wonder how Touya’s much nicer brother would compare.
When he asks you if you want to go home with him, you agree with a shy giggle and a nod- lips twitching into an eager, curious smile as you follow him out of the bar.
Natsuo is such a gentleman. He’s always been good to you- friendly and kind and warm. He’s always been everything Touya is not- even with Touya weak to you he was still a prick and a half. Natsuo, though? He’s always been nice.
And he’s still nice.
He’s nice when he flags down a cab and slips his fingers through yours when you curl up next to him in the backseat. He’s nice when he holds your hand as you walk up to his apartment and when he lets you walk in first. He’s nice when he takes your coat and hangs it up with care. He’s nice when he kisses you like something to be treasured- gently, sweetly, adoringly.
He’s nice, too, when he slowly strips off your clothes- cool hands running over your body and lips pressing open mouthed kisses to your heated flesh. He’s nice when he lets you come first- head between your thighs and tongue working you through your first orgasm as your back arches and your fingers curl into his snowy hair and you mewl his name again and again- “Natsuo, Natsuo, Natsuo!”
He’s really nice when he oh so carefully slides into you- watching your lashes flutter and listening to all your soft little noises to make sure he’s not hurting you. He’s nice when he runs his hands up your arms and laces his fingers through yours- pressing your hands into the mattress and lips capturing your own in a passionate, sensual kiss.
And, god, he’s so nice when he makes you come again and again- until you’re a panting mess drunk on both booze and pleasure. He has your mind fuzzy from bliss- so fuzzy that you don’t care when he comes in you, so fuzzy that you don’t care or panic when he creams your wet, hot cunt. He presses tight against you when he comes- mouths at the crook of your neck as he tells you how good you feel, how he loves how wet you are, how you sound so fucking good baby and he just wants to fill you with him again- can he, please?
And you- blissed out, intoxicated, thrilled you that has never been fucked so intimately and sensually before- nods because, god, yeah- you need more of this even if your limbs are already heavy and your focus is fading from everything unrelated to how good his dick is making you feel.
So he fucks you again and again and again- fucks you until your filled to the brim with his cum and your mind is melted by his needy, hungry kisses and the way he makes you come over and over and over.
You’re completely fucked out by the time he’s done- made stupid and dumb by good dick and so much pleasure. You’re so tired and blissed out that you can’t do more than twitch a finger by the time Natsuo finally pulls out of you, but that’s okay- Natsuo is nice enough to wipe you down with a warm rag and tug one of his shirts onto you.
He’s so nice. So sweet. Such a gentleman.
Once he pulls on some sweatpants, he joins you in bed- smiling when you snuggle up against him and giving an almost fond sort of huff when you almost immediately pass out against him.
He waits until he’s sure that you’re asleep and then he grabs his phone.
Natsuo takes a photo of you curled against his chest first- making sure that Touya will be able to see that it’s you- the one that broke his heart- cuddled up with him- the brother he’s always screwed over.
He’s smirking in the photo- he can’t help it- and that smirk stays as he carefully pushes the shirt he lent you up your body and snaps pics of the love bites he’s left on you- teeth marks that will fade away and form faint bruises for you to flush over later on.
He catalogues those and then he moves on down lower- carefully spreads your thighs and then your still swollen cunny lips so he can takes photos of the way your glistening hole is still painted white, how you’re still so full to the brim with his cum.
Natsuo makes sure that Touya will be able to see that you’ve been bred by him- that he’s taken his brother’s first and last love and made her his.
Some part of him feels guilty as he takes the photos, but there’s a bigger part of him that’s angry and smirking and viciously vindicated- a part of him that’s been festering for years and is finally, finally getting the revenge it wants.
You’ll be upset if you find out, sure.
But Touya has had this coming for a long time now and Natsuo is finally going to get his brother back.
Natsuo sends the photos to his brother and he grins while he does, adds a simple little “payback’s a bitch :)” to the message that is sure to enrage Touya even more.
And then he shuts off his phone and climbs back into bed- wrapping an arm around your soft body and falling asleep with a smile on his face.
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moonlitdiane · 3 years ago
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Hello! I moved from my old blog, @dianethus​ to here, you can probably call this a re-intro!
Diane | 18 | Filipino-Chinese | She/They | Pansexual | Scorpio | xNTP | Neurodivergent | Psychology Major | Graphic Designer | Practicing Wiccan
I’ve been trying to write since I was around 12 years old with silly little k-pop and percy jackson fanfics. Even though I cringe now whenever I think about the things I wrote, I still believe it was a necessary phase that all writers have to go through to become better.
I mainly write for the #OwnVoice movement that focuses on the South East Asian experience and especially the experience of being queer in an Asian environment. I aim to give the queers of Asian history whose stories never got to be told a voice. I write to expose the world to Philippine Mythology and the stories passed down from ancestor to ancestor. I also aim to conjure up nostalgic imagery in the readers' minds.
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low fantasy. I'm not that really good at world building but I'm in love with the idea of everyday magic.
supernatural.
historical.
angst. I'm SORRY but writing and describing pain is a different kind of joy for me.
found family. I'm gay.
cosmic motifs.
enemies to lovers. oh for someone to see all my worst parts and still fall in love with me. also consider: childhood friends to enemies to lovers.
religious trauma & guilt. I went to a catholic school what did you expect?
The Revolution Will Not Be Vilified.
Evil Is Sexy.
Trapped In Another World. I want to be Isekai-d so bad.
Song Fic. Most of my titles are actually song lyrics or my basic outlines follow the structure of a song.
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“Slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl,”
Somewhere In Limasawa Street is a queer historical fiction story set in 1898 when the Philippine-American war is just beyond the horizons and 19 year old mestiza, Lucena Candella is in the middle of a war with herself. Sheltered and painfully aloof, she meets brave but brash, Urduja Kalangitan, who is as emotionally aware as a rock and who happens to be the Revolutionary Army's best gunman—maybe that's what pulled quiet Lucena to her.
Between paper planes, porcelains, and battle scars, Lucena slowly learns to love, and that scared her. It scared her because she wasn't allowed to love that woman with the scarred smile and wild hair.
This is my main WIP and my passion project. I really wanted to write something that I can dedicate to the queers of history, the indigenous and people of color whose queerness is never told.
The title is a reference to Limasawa Street by folk pop band, Ben&Ben, I actually used the album and a few singles as inspiration for the plot. 
WIP Playlist. This story will be unapologetically Filipino.
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“Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil,”
The Devil’s Choir is a low fantasy story following the adventures of seven unlikely friends who just want to go apeshit and run away from their shitty town. That is until they’re thrown into a you-need-to-save-the-whole-world mess without their written consent. Lucifer and Dionysus show up at their door step, dragging them head first into an abyss that even the Gods refuse to fall into. A war between the golden age and the future, it’s now up to this peculiar gang to save the world from the real threat.
The seven deadly sins but make them moody teenagers. this story has gone through so much revising for years! Found family, enemies to lovers, and unwilling heroes? check.
Unintentionally a copy of American Gods. It was too late until I realized the plot was kind of similar to American Gods. Help. 
WIP Playlist. I smell chaos, don’t you?
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“It is true, we shall be monsters, cut off from all the world; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another.”
Manila Encounters is a paranormal urban fantasy story unfolding right in the pearl of the orient seas. When the clock strikes 3 AM and the lights of the skyscrapers turn dark��when the city sleeps, the monsters roam free. Deep between the alley ways of Manila city, look out for kids with a certain glow and bite behind their smiles. Look for the ones with sunkissed tans who speak in tongues. Look for the ones whose feet barely dip into murky bay waters and fingertips grazing moonlight. 
A dummy’s guide to Filipino folklore. Manila Encounters was inspired by a hashtag on Twitter of the same name where people wrote their own twist to Filipino urban legends and folk stories.
Oh great, another Percy Jackson rip-off. the main characters are demi-gods or descendants of Gods. Original, I know.
WIP Playlist. driving at midnight sort of vibe.
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"You may forget but let me tell you this: someone in some future time will think of us."
And I Love her is a queer romance story about a girl who just recently moved into an old but well maintained cottage in some seaside town in Europe—and she finds in the middle of dusty furniture and underneath cobwebs, a rotary telephone sitting there unused for decades. It rings unexpectedly one day and what greets her is a soft voice belonging to someone who lived 60 years ago.
a dreamnotfound fanfic inspired this. and the South Korean horror film, The Call. 
gay yearning agenda. so much yearning. so much. I’m projecting.
WIP Playlist. My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine, but it's been promised to another
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A selected list of fics from my AO3 account. It’s gay.
I drowned a long time ago. Sakusa Kiyoomi isn’t in love. He’s devoted. Serial Killer AU.
Maaaring bang magkunwaring akin ka pa? A Tagalog Haikyuu fic based on the movie, Camp Sawi.
Marupok na puso ko. A Tagalog Haikyuu fic where they do the Filipino thing and get drunk.
My good puppy. My first try at writing smut. Jesus Christ.
Be my mistake. Where Kuroo Tetsurou calls up Tsukishima Kei one last time.
Make it hurt. The two times Atsumu Miya saw the entire universe behind Sakusa Kiyoomi’s eyes.
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I still have a lot of stories that I hope to finish, I find it hard to discard or erase story ideas. So I hope one day, you can all watch me finish this list.
We Don’t Belong Here / Viva La Filipinas / Luna De Sangre Conspiracy / Lilith and Lysander’s Guide To Immortal Godparents / Lonely Hearts Club / A Lady’s Guide to Princes and Principles / Attack Block / Empty Thrones /  A Double Take / Stupid Cupid / Idle Town / Alice? / The 30 Day Deal / Lost Stars / The Apocalypse Program / Heartstrings  / Disastrously Danae
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eryiss · 3 years ago
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Ship: Freed x Laxus
Rating: Teen
Prompt: Late Nights, Early Mornings.
Summary: Long distant relationships are difficult, made worse when it's between two men in different colleges. But Freed and Laxus will make it worse, and if secret phone calls late in the night are what's needed then that's what they'll do.
Notes: This was day three for my admissions to Fraxus Week. It's hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus, who you should check out for more Fraxus content.
Links: Event Masterlist ||| Archive of Our Own, Fanfiction
Four Ways to See the Dawn
Year: 1982
Location: Washington DC, USA
"Hey."
"Hey."
Laxus murmured the word, quietly fiddling with the cord to the phone as he glanced at the sleeping man in the other bed. The stranger seemed to be sleeping soundly, snoring without a care in the world, and so Laxus felt pretty confident that he had privacy. So long as he didn't make too much noise, he could speak without being overheard.
Good, this was going to work.
It wasn't ideal. It was nearing two AM, and Laxus had found himself fighting sleep as he'd waited for his roommate to pass out. The guy was apparently something of a party animal, and he was fully taking advantage of the many frat parties, drinking nights and mixers that filled the first weeks of college. Laxus had avoided them all – they were all too loud and rowdy for him – but he understood the appeal. He couldn't be angry that the man was so unpredictable; Bickslow would hardly know that he was stopping Laxus from his phone call with Freed, after all.
Freed didn't have the same problem. His college, which was half way across the country, didn't have roommates to worry about. He'd promised that he'd be waiting by the phone for him whenever he was ready to call, and he'd answered the moment Laxus had rung.
"You sound tired," Laxus teased. "Didn't wake ya, did I?"
"No, but it was close," Freed chuckled, and the sound was incredible. "I missed hearing your voice."
"Me too."
They'd promised themselves that, for the first two weeks, they wouldn't talk. College was a big thing, and they couldn't fuck it up, so decided they need to fully submerge themselves in college culture instead of becoming shut-ins who only spoke to one another. It was the right thing to do, they both knew it, but Laxus had been missing Freed's presence every day, and no amount of taster classes, tours around campus, and bottles of tequila would remove that.
Freed had always been there. They'd grown up on the same street, played on the same sports teams, and attended the same house parties. Jokes had been made that they were attached at the hip, and that they might as well be inseparable with how much time they spent together.
Laxus had to smirk at those jokes. If only they knew.
It had happened quite randomly, really. Laxus had broken his leg in the last year of high school, and he'd had to sit out on the final game in their baseball tournament. Freed had ended up hitting the home run that won their team the game, and had been rightly commended. Laxus had stumbled into the locker room on his crutches when everyone was left so he could congratulate the man in private. Freed had clearly noticed that Laxus was more melancholy that joyful, and forced Laxus to admit it felt shitty to miss the final game of his high-school career, even if they did win.
Freed had waited for a moment, thinking of what to say. Then, with his thigh resting against Laxus' non-broken leg, he quietly whispered 'I won it for you, you know. Not for the team.' The words were packed with years' worth of friendship and passion, and they were forever imprinted on Laxus' mind.
He'd kissed the man without thinking. Freed had kissed him back.
What followed was a summer of making out, going to the romantic spots around Magnolia under the pretence they were still just friends, and, on the last night before they left for college, they'd slept together for the first time. It had all been incredible.
But the summer had to end, and they could hardly keep going as they had. Magnolia was small, and their friendship was known well enough there for nobody to question how much time they were spending together. Now they lived in different states, a long and expensive train ride away from each other. The making out and the dates and the sex would have to stop, because it didn't make senses for it to continue. All they had left was quiet phone calls late at night where nobody could overhear them talking.
It wasn't perfect, but it was enough for now.
"You, erm, you done many classes yet?" Laxus asked, cringing at the awful question.
"No, they start on Monday," Freed answered, and shifted slightly. Laxus idly wondered if he were in his bed or not. Freed looked good in bed, curled up in a dressing gown with a book. If Laxus was there, he'd content himself by running his hand through his hair. "You?"
"A few taster things, just tryin' to find out what I wanna major in, y'know," Laxus all but scuffed his feet. He hadn't expected this to be this awkward. "Guess you don't have that problem."
"No," Freed agreed. He was training to by a surgeon, Laxus was at college mainly because he didn't know what else to do with his life. "How's your roommate?"
"He's good. A little weird but seems harmless," Laxus glanced at the sleeping man, who was stretched over his bed and drooling. "Seems to be out at parties most nights, so maybe I'll be able to call ya earlier in the night. Not force ya to stay up so late."
"It's worth it," Freed said without missing a beat. "I've missed you, Laxus."
"I missed you too," Laxus whispered.
Neither man spoke for a moment, and Laxus wished he knew what to say. He wished he had a ridiculous story of his fun, interesting college life that he could use to break that layer of awkwardness and entertain Freed with. But he'd done nothing; college was much less interesting than he had been led to believe. He couldn't think of a thing to say, and the electric humming of the phone was getting on his nerves.
Freed must have felt the same way, as Laxus could hear him fidgeting across the phone. Laxus wished he could just pull the man into his arms, as he often had in their quiet nights alone over the summer. But he couldn't. For months, he couldn't.
"It's gonna get easier, ain't it?" Laxus asked. "Doin' this?"
"It will," Freed said, and he sounded sure. "It'll take some time, but it will."
"Fuckin' better," Laxus mumbled more to himself than to Freed.
"It will," Freed repeated. "And thanksgiving is only a few months away, and we'll be able to see each other then."
"Guess so," Laxus nodded, trying to feel encouraged. "You still doing thanksgiving with me and Gramps?"
"If he'll still have me."
"He will," Laxus replied immediately, and then forced a smile onto his face. "And I promise it'll be more successful than last year."
"More successful? Is that possible?" Freed asked sarcastically, and Laxus chuckled.
"You saying that me and Gramps getting into a screaming match, the turkey ending up in the cat's litter tray, the two of us getting covered in cranberry sauce, and the neighbours making a noise complaint wasn't successful?" Laxus scoffed, smiling as he remembered the night the previous year.
He also remembered how, just before Freed drove back to his own home, he'd confessed that it was one of the most enjoyable thanksgiving's he'd had.
"You seem to not realise that, with long hair, pureed cranberries really have a lot of space to hide in," Freed chuckled. "A problem you don't seem to face."
"I'll aim for your face this year then," Laxus grinned.
"That's all I ask," Freed was grinning too, Laxus could hear it in his voice.
The situation wasn't immediately remedied, but they found themselves talking about the ridiculous shared moments they'd endured in Magnolia, and Laxus felt the awkwardness seeping away minute by minute. It was nowhere near as good as driving to the mountains, lying on his car's roof with Freed curled against him, but damn if it wasn't the best couple of hours he'd spent since arriving in Washington.
He didn't remember falling asleep, but he did remember waking up sometime later in the morning. The phone was clutched against his chest, the line dead, and the sunlight was fluttering under the curtains. He smiled privately, and closed his eyes, phone in hand.
---
"Freed, you okay? It's four in the mornin'?
"Hey. You're awake. Hi."
Laxus forced his eyes open, groggy and sleep deprived. He blinked a few times, sitting up. The ringing of the phone he'd just answered seemed to still be blaring in his mind, and the overly loud, inelegant words that his boyfriend had just near yelled into his ears made Laxus wince. It was nearly four thirty in the morning. Why the hell was Freed awake?
"Course I'm awake, phone's fucking loud," He complained, sitting up and leaning against the wall. "Why're you awake?"
"Ever and Mirajane," Freed said, as if that answered anything. Laxus waited a moment before he realised that was all Freed felt he needed to say.
"What about them?"
"I told them that it was my birthday tomorrow – or, well, it's today now, isn't it. But it was tomorrow when I told them. Well, technically it was yesterday when I told them, but in the context of me telling them about my birthday, my birthday was tomorrow, which is now today," Freed spewed the mess of words out, and Laxus could hear him frowning. "They said I needed to go out drinking. They wanted to take me out for my first legal drink."
"Yer turning nineteen, not twenty-one," Laxus deadpanned, though smirked.
"Oh yes, so I am," Freed was frowning. "I broke the law many times tonight then."
"Sounds like it," Laxus chuckled. "You only just gettin' in? It's pretty late. Or early, I guess."
"No, we left the club at about one. We've been in the dorms for a few hours, Cana knows someone who can get us beer cheap, so we kept going. Someone made me brownies, but I wasn't allowed to eat them because apparently they had pot in them, so Mirajane slapped the guy and said she'd report him to campus security because we only found out when Jet and Droy started talking about the walls having a face," Freed laughed heartily, and Laxus smiled, imagining the man's expression as he did so. "Why do people always put weed into brownies? It's so overdone. Why do you never hear of a pot carrot cake or banana loaf?"
"Brownies are easy to make, I guess," Laxus grinned.
This was uncharted territory for Laxus. Freed wasn't exactly a total rule follower, but his parents were strict and so alcohol was something he'd never risked. Laxus had always wondered what a drunk Freed would be like. Apparently, he rambled and was happy. It was a nice side of him to hear.
"You think brownies are harder than a banana cake? You know nothing about baking," Freed laughed at him, and Laxus smirked. "Do I have time to bake a pot filled gateau, do you think? It might make mother's book club interesting at last."
"Don't spike your ma with drugs Freed," Laxus instructed, and Freed laughed.
"Yes, it sounds bad put like that," Freed agreed. He was quiet for a moment, and Laxus heard the sound of something hitting the floor. Perhaps one of his boots, given the clunk. Laxus had become something of an expert at figuring out what Freed was doing by the sounds he made. "It'd serve them right. Rather see you than them."
"Come on Freed," Laxus sighed. "They're your parents, they wanna see you."
"Well they didn't on parents' weekend, or at thanksgiving, so why now?" Freed huffed, fabric shifting now. He was probably getting into bed. "They're taking me to dinner, and I saw the place. It's got five stars, Laxus. That means it'll be stifled and pretentious. They won't know what to say to me, so we'll just eat in silence and we'll all want it to end because we know we don't have anything in common and they're only coming because it'll look bad if they don't," Laxus wished he could deny the claim, but he knew Freed's parents and that was probably true. "Would've rather gotten the train to Washington so I could see you."
"Shouldn't I be coming to yours?" Laxus asked, trying to change the subject to something less maudlin. "It's your birthday."
"You saw my campus when you drove us home," Freed dismissed, and Laxus supposed he had. They'd driven back to Magnolia together for some time alone, as Laxus passed Freed's college on the drive back. "It's my turn to see your place. Your classrooms, your student lounge," He paused, and was clearly smirking when he spoke again. "Your bed."
"My bed, huh?" Laxus smirked. "What were you gonna-"
Laxus would have continued, but an airborne pillow slammed into his face. It took his sleep-lagged brain a moment to understand what had happened, and he slowly looked towards his glaring, very much awake roommate. He probably should have realised that the phone would have woken them both up, not just Laxus.
They looked at each other for a moment, Bickslow unblinking. Laxus wanted to speak, but no words came, and Bickslow was the one to fill the silence.
"Look, you know I'm cool with you two being together. Probably been to more of the marches than either of you two, so be as gay as you wanna be," Bickslow's voice was croaky and hoarse. "But don't phone fuck when I'm in the room. It's just bad manners."
"We weren't gonna-" Laxus cut himself off. He couldn't be sure of his words, so instead he said a guilty, "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it," Bickslow shrugged. "Just give me my pillow back and we'll call it even."
Laxus did as he was told, and Bickslow took it, hooked it around his head so it covered his ears, and turned to lie facing the wall. It was as close to privacy they could get in the small room without either of them leaving, and Laxus appreciated the action. When he spoke again, his voice was more of a gentle whisper.
"You should probably get to sleep," He instructed, and grinned when he heard a yawn overpowering his words. "Make sure you drink water before you crash, okay? And don't bother with yer classes, you'll either still be drunk or too hungover to take anything in."
"Yes, I suppose I will be," Freed agreed. "I'll call you once my parents leave."
"Okay," Laxus nodded. "Happy birthday, baby."
"Thank you," Freed said softly. "Goodnight. Love you."
"Love you too."
Laxus hung up the phone, curled himself back under his covers and closed his eyes. Just as he was about to sleep, he heard the grinning words of his roommate as he said, 'you two are so damn cute.' Laxus' retort of 'fuck you' was only slightly less threatening because of the smile he couldn't shake, and the yawn he couldn't hold back.
---
"Don't talk, I need to say something."
"Laxus? What's wrong?"
Laxus was jittery. He'd been jittery all day. He'd had nervous energy throughout the night, and it kept waking him up and he did whatever he could to get to sleep but nothing had worked, and he'd found himself stressed, awake and jittery. He couldn't stop moving. Couldn't stop bouncing his leg or taping his fingers or flexing his arms because he needed to do something with this energy, but he didn't know what.
At six AM, after a night of awful, interrupted sleep, he'd decided enough was enough. He'd changed into running gear, pulled out his Walkman and stormed from his dorm room. He'd ran for however long, and yet the jitteriness didn't go. If anything, it made things worse.
Calling Freed had been a last resort.
He hadn't returned to campus yet, instead finding a phone booth to climb into. It had started to rain as he'd run, and he was dripping wet as he rang Freed's number. The cold and the wet were the last things on his mind. He just needed to get on the call with Freed, just needed to hear that thing's would be okay and that he was making a big deal out of nothing. Freed was a smart guy, and he wouldn't bullshit Laxus about important things. No; Freed would make things okay.
"Dad's court case was moved forward," Laxus spluttered before he could stop himself.
It was supposed to be in the autumn. It was supposed to be months away. That would give Laxus time to prepare himself, to know what he was going to say. To get out of his own head so that he could focus on taking the bastard to jail. It was not supposed to be next damn week!
Laxus was a character witness. In the trial itself, he wasn't all that important, but he knew that the media would love to know what he thought about his father. Ivan was a well-known businessman, and his scandal had been national news. He'd made many enemies over his years working, and people were relishing in his downfall. Everyone wanted to hear how not only was Ivan a bad businessman, but a bad father too. Laxus wasn't ready for the attention, he wasn't ready for anything.
Freed took a moment to think before he replied.
"Where are you?" He asked. "Are you in your dorm? I can hear the rain."
"Erm, no," Laxus shook his head, looking around. "I'm near a park. Not sure where."
"Right," Freed murmured. "What do you need me to do?"
"I need," Laxus faltered.
He needed to be told that everything was okay. That the court case would just be a single day in his life, and he could get past it and move on. He needed to hear Freed saying that he would get past this, and that his life would return to normal. He needed to see Freed's warm smile, the one he seemed to show only to Laxus. He needed…
"It's nothing. Sorry if I woke you."
"Go back to your dorm, I'll be there as soon as I can."
"What?"
"The trains start running early. I can probably be at yours by ten," Freed mused aloud. "I want you to go back and try to sleep. You mentioned that Bickslow has hypnosis tapes he uses to sleep, borrow one."
"Freed, you don't need to come here," Laxus tried to argue, though he didn't want to. "You don't have the money."
"I'll find it," Freed dismissed. "The next train leaves at seven, I believe. I'll be on it."
"Freed."
"Laxus."
Anyone who thought that Laxus was the more stubborn one out of the two of them clearly didn't know Freed.
"You really don't need to come," Laxus whispered, the rain pounding on the small box he sheltered in. "I'll be fine."
"You deserve to be better than fine, Laxus," Freed whispered back.
Silence hung on the line, and at that moment Laxus' world only persisted of the small phonebooth, the rain clattering down on it, and the man on the other end of the phone. He closed his eyes, clenched them shut, and tried to focus on the soft sound of Freed's breathing. Freed was coming. He was coming to make things better. As much as Laxus wanted to protest more, because Freed couldn't afford it and he was going to miss his classes, he just wanted his boyfriend in his arms. He just wanted him there.
"Are you sure?" He asked in a shaking sob.
"Of course," Freed assured him. "Go back to your room and sleep, I'll be there soon."
Laxus did indeed return to his room. He showered off the rainwater, ignored Bickslow's questions as to what happened, and curled up into bed. The white noise tape that Bickslow gave him cleared his mind, and as he assured himself that the clump of blanket he was clinging to would soon be replaced with Freed, he felt everything become just a little more manageable.
---
Sun hit Laxus' face, a gentle warmth that woke him up. He smiled as it happened.
A roadside motel was hardly the most comfortable place to wake up, but Laxus couldn't think of anywhere better to be at that time. No amount of bitter coffee, cramped showers, awful breakfasts, and itchy sheets would stop that. Not when he was waking up with Freed in his arms.
It was Freed's graduation day, the final nail in the coffin of their shared college experiences. Once today had finished, there would be no more dorm rooms, no more phone calls, no more long distance. They just needed to get through the ceremony, and they would be free to spend as much time as they wanted together, without the looming dread of being split apart by the oncoming semester that had previously seemed ever present.
It was over. They were done with college and free to love each other fully and wholly.
They'd found an apartment they could afford. They'd gotten an odd look when their realter had seen two men wanting to live in a cramped, one bedroom apartment, but they didn't care. Three years split apart was over, and they felt they deserved their own place no matter what other people thought about it. They'd more than paid their dues in being apart; they were owed time, and a home, together.
It worked out well. Freed's career meant he needed to continue studying, and he'd found placement in a hospital on a partial scholarship in New York. Laxus, over his time in college, had decided sports journalism was where his passion lay, and he'd been shortlisted for multiple internships in the city. It was all perfect.
Speaking of perfect, Freed made a small mewling sound as he woke.
"Mornin'," Laxus smiled.
"Morning," Freed croaked. He leant up and pressed his lips against Laxus', resting against his body. "You're awake early."
"Excited to see you get yer degree," Laxus shrugged.
"Excited to see me leaving the dorms, more like," Freed chuckled, resting his head against Laxus' chest.
"Can you blame me?" Laxus asked as he ran a hand down Freed's side and kissed his crown.
"Not at all," Freed hummed, contentedly.
Laxus hummed, watching as the new morning sun filled the room. Flashes of a future where this would be his every morning, where Freed would always fall asleep in his arms and wake up beside him. Freed would be his, and he would be Freed's, as they were always supposed to be.
Their love story was quiet, made up of fleeting moments and late-night phone calls. Not the stuff of fairy tales, but, for them, perfect.
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kinkymagnus · 5 years ago
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thoughts on alec? since this is mainly a magnus blog i guess i'm curious.
kfjlkfgjd thanks for resending sorry tumblr’s a bitch ily
eh i feel like generally i talk mostly about magnus bc Every Other Blog (not literally obviously but like, in general) talks about Only Alec just like…..24/7
so while i like him fine, he’s like, mostly Magnus’s Love Interest on my blog lghjflgkhjfgh but honestly just generally while i do like him i honestly don’t find him that….interesting, individually, i guess? i mean he’s not quite boring, but he’s not a character i really relate to
so the reason i don’t really write alec-centric stuff is like. 1. i just don’t find him as interesting (although i’ve had a few ideas, they’ll likely never be published thanks to…) 2. Spite
aka the alec stans suck. the Alec Stans™ to be clear, the ones who suck, not everyone who likes alec. but like, yeah
anyway let’s not just talk salt and me being petty, despite alec being not my fave i can afford to answer one (1) ask without my entire blog crumbling down and revealing i’ve been an alec stan this whole time without me even knowing it
ok so alec headcanons i guess
1. alec was a chatty kid. not what you’d think, right? but then like, he was taking care of izzy, bc she’s his baby sister and Protective, and jace wasn’t really the type to listen to him. like, ever. alec would suddenly realize jace hadn’t been listening the whole time pretty much every time he tried to have a conversation with him or talk about things he was interested in, even when he listened when jace talked about his latest crush or whatever he was interested in. alec started abruptly going quiet before his sentence was finished, and jace didn’t seem to notice or was just like oh good you’re finally done talking, here’s what i was gonna say. eventually alec gives up. he still talks to izzy but she’s so little it’s a lot slower paced and he usually pays more attention to her than what he wants to say bc Baby Sister. by the time izzy’s old enough to like, properly, hold a conversation (she is also pretty chatty) alec’s already gone a lot quieter. by the time we see him, he basically doesn’t initiate conversation on things he’s interested in that aren’t work-related. he does still sometimes talk to izzy, but it’s hard to get the words out and get everything sounding right, so he gets annoyed with himself. it doesn’t come as easy anymore.
and not to show my magnus stan roots but magnus is kind of similar, albeit way less clear cut, he tends to ramble and talk a lot about his special interests only to shut himself up when he realizes he’s definitely boring whoever he’s talking to (he isn’t, necessarily, but after enough times being told to shut up when you get excited you believe everyone wants you to shut up.) and then he was trying to keep up the whole classy unaffected stylish “def not an adorkable disaster bi nerd, i am dangerous deadly unaffected lothario man who has never even heard of star trek or whatever” facade, and rambling about whatever interested him didn’t really fit that. so he retreated more into himself, too. he did have his friends to talk to, but catarina is so busy and he doesn’t want to bother her and raphael doesn’t want to hear his foolish old dad ramble on, does he, and ragnor–he’d always put up with magnus’s babble, and listened, but magnus felt like he was boring him and then ragnor was–well.
anyway so to united these, then, they met each other. and it takes a while, but they get comfortable with each other. magnus goes on a long ramble about a potion he’s been trying to get just right and then cuts himself off, embarrassed, and apologizes for probably boring alec, and alec’s like what? no, that was really interesting, i was listening, can you explain the thing with the mandrake root? and magnus is like…oh.. (also side note: magnus is incredibly cute when rambling about things he’s interested in, he waves his hands a lot and his eyes are all excited and warm and he’s so lively, and clearly passionate, that it’s engaging and pulls you in. like a really good professor. and sometimes he starts talking about something way above most people’s heads without realizing how Smart he is, but if you ask him to clarify he’s like, totally non-condescending and explains it in creative and understandable way????? sorry im in love with adhd magnus thanks to someone anyway)
and then vice versa, alec slowly feels more comfortable talking about things that interest him, like a book he’s been reading and how it’s so fucking stupid the heroine went for the “blonde bad boy” when he’s such a dick to her, or whatever, like it starts as an angry rant about something but before he can cut himself off he realizes magnus is listening. like, actually listening. and like, if it’s appropriate, magnus will ask questions, engage in what alec’s talking about, and alec finds himself getting better at putting to words what he means and magnus is never mean about it, always patient and understanding
2. as a kid alec read romance novels. cheesy shitty fun romance novels. especially the ones that are like, written by women (or better, queer people, but that’s later) and aren’t weird? you know what i mean? and he loved them. romance was something young alec dreamed of a lot, even if he tried to ignore how he preferred tall, dark, and handsome to the main character, or the kind man the heroine fell in love with to the heroine herself. he hid trashy romance novels like most teen boys his age (including jace) hid porn magazines or whatever. he eventually maybe found some queer lit, but he didn’t dare to bring those back to the institute, instead choosing to go to the library the few times he had free time to sneak out (aka when he wasn’t working, sleeping, training, or watching izzy and jaces’ backs when they snuck out to clubs and shit.
also: 3. also i stand by the fact that alec wasn’t in denial about being gay. he wasn’t repressed, he knew exactly what he wanted and who he was, he just didn’t think it was possible for him to be with a man and be happy. 
4. alec isn’t a sweet innocent baby boy!!!! he’s seen porn, he knows how sex works, he’s masturbated, and honestly i know the show said otherwise but i find it hard to believe he never once fooled around even a little bit. just a little bit. no actual dating? not hard to believe at all. even being a “virgin” despite how outdated and terrible the concept is, not unbelievable. plenty of “normal” people reach college-age without ever having had sex, let alone shadowhunters raised to be demon-fighting soldiers. but like. look. he has the Energy. alec….Alec Fucks. also just something about the whole like, his siblings are always sneaking off to clubs and he follows them to watch their backs (is this canon or just common fanon? i honestly don’t remember) just screams to me hey, he may or may not have made out with an adventurous seelie or a mundane with eyes. or maybe a blowjob or a handjob, who knows. i’m JUST SAYING. i know this isn’t canon but i don’t care. alec lightwood has seen a dick
5. alec is ridiculously protective of people he loves. especially family (both in the sense of literal family like izzy, and family in the sense of “making your own family” like magnus) like he’d kill for them, he’d die for them, he’d live forever for them,
6. alec can and will become immortal for magnus. and not just literally only for magnus, for himself as well–like he doesn’t have to spend the rest of his life being a tool for the clave, he can work for better relations between downworlders and shadowhunters, and like accords that aren’t shitty, and he can be more than just another soldier or even head of the institute, he can be more and have time to actually spend time on himself, like it doesn’t have to be training-work-protect his siblings-sleep-training, and then one day he gets married and has kids and dies. he can actually experience the world, do things he enjoys, spend time with his husband, and most of all, he can spend the rest of his life with magnus bane, the love of his life, his husband, someone he loves so much. he can make sure magnus’s heart doesn’t get broken again by falling in love only to lose him. they get their happy ending, you know???? we stan
7. alec would be a great dad i dont know what to tell you he just would be 
8. one of the first kinks alec realized he really had like. with magnus. was office sex. yes im a slut what about it
this is bc he was minding his own business, doing paperwork at his desk, and magnus maybe sent a flirty text and alec was like mm i want to fuck him right now. and then he was staring at his desk thinking mm i want to bend him over this desk, sweep all this paper off the desk and rip off his clothes, take off his panties last and then lick his pussy until he’s begging for me to fuck him then press his chest down against the desk and fuck him until he screams. maybe i could tie his wrists behind his back with a tie. like i’m his boss? oh my god magnus in a secretary outfit. shit. he gets no work done that day. it’s just a rabbit hole of one thought to another until he’s like. sitting there hard and unable to focus on his work bc the mental image of magnus bent over in a skirt over his desk keeps playing his mind and he doesn’t want to do this paperwork he’d much rather be doing his husband.
9. alec loves making out with magnus on the couch like they’re just chilling and watching a movie and cuddling and alec loves to pull magnus into his arms and just make out. like literally not even “this ends in sex and gets hot and heavy” literally just magnus in his arms. and they kiss a lot. it’s soft and warm and relaxing tbh
10. magnus!!! and alec!!! cuddling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they both love it!!!!!! they’re both lowkey touch-starved!!!!!!
11. alec’s a dom top and that’s that my dudes
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mysticnfantastic · 6 years ago
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Hello, can I request a RFA+Minor scenario to Mc who hv unsupportive parents that makes her doubts herself in everything she does? (if she draws something and it's mediocre, she rather blame herself is a failure like her parents always do) Um, idk, this is my first time requesting and idk if I'm doing it right and I like your writings. The parents doesn't hv to be included maybe they can see it from MC behavior. It's ok if u don't want to do it and sorry for explaining it poorly sorry (。•́︿•̀。)
Hi! Of course, here you go! I hope you enjoy!
Also, Requests are still open!! Please request, I’m actually trying to have a schedule I swear.
Yoosung:
Yoosung would notice the way that you doubted yourself in every single thing you did, and whilst he would probably try to ignore it at first, eventually, he’d be unable to just sit back and watch how you grew to hate everything you would make or do. It hurt him.
Eventually, he would ask you what was wrong, and lying to this cinnamon roll boy is not an option, he’s gotten surprisingly good at telling when someone is lying.
When you finally reveal to him about what your childhood was like, along with how your parents treated you, he’s more than disturbed by this new knowledge.
The idea that your own parents had treated you so incredibly poorly harmed him because you were so amazing and talented. It made him upset, and almost angry.
He would make sure to compliment you extra to make up for those years in which you weren’t as appreciated as you should’ve been. He will do his best to make sure you will finally understand how valuable your talents are, and how great you really are.
Jumin:
It was actually something Jumin noticed from the very beginning of your relationship, and it caused him great distress.
To see you, unable to see yourself in the same in the same glorious light as he saw you in, wounded him like nothing ever could.
Would try his hardest to make a huge deal of anything you create, if you’re an artist and state you hate your art, he will gather your art collections and surprise you by setting up an entire art party in your honour, in which dozens of people want to purchase your art.
If he ever is to meet your parents, however, it would end with him being highly critical of your parents and straight-up insulting them for lacking the ability to fully and rightly appreciate you.
Zen:
He recognises that look upon your face. The look of self-hate and thinking you aren’t good enough, because he’s been there himself.
And it sucks, and he’s there for you, wholly and truly.
Will comfort you surprisingly well, opening up to you when you do to him - a mutual pain of shitty childhoods bringing you both together.
Generally is there to support and assure you. After all, he managed to make himself an acting career and prove his parents wrong. Surely, you can do the same?
Jaehee:
Jaehee is immensely sympathetic in this situation, she had suspected you had low self-esteem before, but it was only when she had actually met your parents that she finally realised what the issue was.
Immediately calls them out, actually quite bluntly and ruthlessly.
Then stands up, takes your hand, and has the both of you leave their house, refusing to allow them to harm you emotionally. 
When you get home she apologises for her outburst and tries to assure you how wonderful and talented you truly are.
Saeyoung:
Saeyoung understands on an almost metaphysical level since his and Saeran’s childhoods had been the utmost trash.
He knows merely by the look in your eyes when you make something, what you’re thinking.
And he makes sure to sincerely and heavily compliment every single little thing you do. Everything. No matter how small or mediocre it may seem to you, it’s huge to him.
Before you’ll know it, your work shall be plastered up on the internet, earning immense recognition, and you’ll definitely know the culprit who put your work for the world to see in the first place...
V:
V loves you. Immensely, deeply. 
And therefore, hearing you speak so lowly of yourself and your passion work is something that stabs him sharply with a knife.
As an artist himself, he knows all-too-well how that thought process goes. And so, he tries to assure you to the best of his abilities, often going the extra mile, or extra 500 miles, just to make you smile at your own work instead of frowning at it.
V would also try to have you limit the contact with your parents, mainly for your own sake.
Saeran/unknown/Ray:
Saeran has his suspicions, but he tries to, surprisingly, stay somewhat positive and hope that you didn’t have anywhere close to a bad childhood. 
When he is proven wrong, it wounds him deeply, on a bigger, more intense level than any of the others above.
This is because the moment to confess your parents’ treatment of you, it takes him back to his mother saying those exact same things to him. 
And in that moment, he practically bans you from having contact with them, if you haven’t already cut them the fuck off. Because there is no way he’s going to allow such negative, hateful and abusive people to control what you think of yourself. 
- Mod Ama 
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lydiaphantom · 6 years ago
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Imagine: Theo Raeken and one shitty date which brought him a girlfriend
You weren't so happy when the most popular girl in your campus asked Theo on the date. But honestly neither was Theo.
Pairing: Theo x Reader
Warning: Bad words
(Sorry! Bad grammar!)
You and Theo have been friends since the war with the hunters and Monroe started. You knew him from school but before that moment you hadn't got an opportunity to talk to him. Until one night when you found Theo barely sleeping on the backseats in his truck. You offered him a place for sleep and after a long and a little awkward conversation you actually made Theo stay in your house. He told you all the truth about himself a few days later and expected that you would hate him, but you just thanked Theo for telling the truth and hugged him. That was the moment when your friendship started. It's been almost one and half year since that happened and you couldn't be more happy to be Theo's friend.
If only he knew that you like him much more than just a friend.
You two were walking through the university halls. It was lunch break and you weren't so happy about it. It wasn't like you hate lunch, actually that was your favourite time in this damn university. But only when you were sitting with Theo and you two could have yours strange conversation about absolutely random topic. However, yesterday Theo went on the date with Bekky, the most popular girl in your campus and now he probably will sit with her. They are dating after all. You weren't jealous, no, of course no, Theo deserves to be happy and if that girl is able to make him so, well you won't break it.
Theo called you after the date and told you everything. It was great, of course it was, he went on a date with freaking queen. It was nice to see Theo in a good mood with wide smile, you just wish you were the reason.
You two definitely weren't expecting what happened next.
When Theo and you came in the cafeteria the room went silence. Bekky were sitting on the some guy's lap while made out with him. You turned to Theo, he was clearly confused. After a second they stopped and Bekky noticed you two.
"Oh, looks who came," she announced and chuckled. "The murder who bring me two hundreds dollars."
The whole cafeteria laughed. Now Theo was even more confused as well as you.
"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked.
Bekky rolled her eyes.
"Our date, Theo," she started still sitting on the lap of some new guy. "It was a dare, which I successfully completed."
"What?" you noticed as Theo tensed after those words.
"Please, it was a shitty date. Probably the worst date I have ever been on," Bekky responded.
You snorted.
"The only shitty thing on that date was you," you said and now all eyes were on you. Usually you never talk to anybody. Like at all. "With your extra mini dress which literally was screaming 'take me right now right here'," you added and Theo tried to cover his laughter with cough.
"I'm not talking to you," Bekky shouted but you saw as she became redder after your last words. "I'm talking to that murder who was so desperate that-"
"Can you stop calling me like that?" Theo snapped. "It's not like my mistakes-"
This time Bekky interrupted him.
"Murders, Theo, you murdered," she corrected. "What? Can't handle with the truth?"
You barely could control yourself and not kill that stupid slut right in front of everybody.
"If I'm such a murder, then why did you go on a date with me?" you heard as Theo asked and crossed his arms.
Bekky groaned dramatically.
"I told you, it was a stupid dare. I completed it, now I don't need you, you can leave," she said and waved her hand like that could make you two disappear.
That was the last straw.
"Whatever," you caught as Theo mumbled and already has wanted to leave but your words stopped him.
"You are such a stupid bitch," you hissed and came to Bekky really fast. Everyone were confused and were waiting for what will happen next. Theo with double interest. You took a glass full of orange juice. "Such a trash," you hissed again and before Bekky could react you splashed out the contents of the glass at her face.
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The room went silence again. You just turned away and noticed as Theo was nearly dying with his silence laughter. You came to him and he gave you a five, then you two left.
After the moment when the door was closed you two heard a loud angry scream from Bekky but that wasn't important for you.
"I'm sorry," you said and placed your hand on Theo's shoulder. "They are stupid if they think this way about you."
Theo just shrugged.
"I don't know, Y/N," he sighed. "Maybe that's who I really am?" he asked and take a seat on a step. You sat next to him.
"Of course that not who you really are, Theo," you retorted. "You made mistakes, but your past isn't defined you."
Theo shook his head.
"Seems like whenever I go, my past will always be with me," he sighed again and added. "I mean people will always treat me like that. Bekky. Well nothing new actually," Theo chuckled uncomfortably. "She just used me, like everyone else," then he frowned. "You are different, but come on! My parents when I was a child, Dread Doctors, Deucalion and McCall's pack, Liam when he brought me back, Mr. Douglas, again McCall's pack and now Bekky too!" he snapped at the end and then took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. "As I said, nothing new! I just should used to the fact that I'm only a trash and nothing more!"
You were listening to all, what Theo was saying, not even try to interrupt him. You knew that he should just say all this and not hold it in his mind. But when he stopped it was your turn to speak.
"Now you listen to me, Theo Raeken," you said and Theo turned to you confused. "I don't care what others think because they are wrong! You are not a murder! Theo, you are the kindest person I have ever met. You are sweet and funny. You always make my day better just because you are near to me. And yes, I'm not saying that the past doesn't matter. Because it's does. But, Theo you has changed so much since that. Everybody in the pack forgave you. And I'm so proud of you! So don't let them say who you are, because they clearly don't know that!" you said and took a deep breath only now understood that you weren't breathing while you were speaking.
You looked at Theo, he was clearly shocked by your speech and now was looking at you with wide eyes and open mouth. After a moment he sighed and shook his head.
"You are saying this because we are friends and you want me to feel better," he mumbled.
The words left your mouth before you could think about them.
"I'm saying that, because I love you," and then it hit you. You closed your eyes and cursed everything around you. "Shit, sorry, I know we are friends, let's pretend-" you were interrupted by Theo's soft lips on yours own.
The kiss was tender and light but when Theo understood that you were kissing him back he became more confident and the kiss turned into something more passionate and magnificent. His hands were on your cheeks while yours were holding his t-shirt bringing Theo closer. You could feel that Theo was smiling and actually you were too.
Theo was the first one who pulled back just a little so he could say something really important to him.
"I love you too, Y/N," Theo whispered and you could feel his heavy breath on your lips. "I just never thought that-" you kissed him making him shut up.
"Well you thought wrong," you said when you two break apart. "I love you, and nothing could change that, definitely not a bunch of stupid people. I love you, Theo Raeken."
Theo smiled to you and then captured your lips in one more passionate kiss.
Well, that shitty date and incident in the cafeteria definitely were worth that all. After all you two finally were together.
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redwineconversation · 2 years ago
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Montpellier - OL Postgame Thoughts
Part of me wants to be jokey about this - I'm actually really funny! - but part of me wants to be serious as well. Maybe it's just because of my pseudo emo indie playlist playing on Spotify right now.
There were parts of the game I found frustrating. My feelings on Bompastor constantly starting Malard are well-documented by now and not worth rehashing. We still haven't sold the Carpenter Dilemma, and apparently won't until Carpenter returns, which according to an interview Bompastor gave won't happen until January. Defense-wise, we have had our worse beginning since ... 2001-2002.
There's plenty to bitch about.
And yet.
And yet, as I keep saying, to understand Lyon, you have to get to know them. You have to watch them, even when the games are boring, because sometimes, you get games like tonight. Games in the pouring rain, when something happens, something that vexes them, and you see something change in their eyes. It's hard to explain, really, but if you watch them enough, I promise you'll see it too. You'll know when they switch into a higher gear even before the (uninformed) commentator does because you will recognize their eyes are different. A little darker, maybe. A little less human.
I don't know how to describe it, really, except when you know, you know. And that's why I really, really encourage people to watch Lyon, even if it's on a shitty illegal stream. Even if the game is against an opponent you know that Lyon could sleepwalk their way into a win.
In many ways, yeah, I'll concede it: Lyon is a boring team. They're just not going to be a team that offers you a lot of content. They're quiet, but, like, in a good way. Me personally, I like them like that. I think it's easier to see them, to read them, when they are quiet like this. You know what you are getting when there isn't a distracting background noise, is what I am trying to say.
If you want to know who your team actually is, away from social media content, you need to watch them play in the pouring rain. I don't mean a casual drizzle, I mean complete downpour, question whether you need a raft sort of rain. Something that takes "soaked to the bone" to a literal level.
And it's even better when it's in a smaller stadium. Now don't get me wrong, I do love a proper huge arena, but games like tonight - I don't know, I think in some ways you see Lyon in their purest form when it's raining. It's hard to describe, but it feels more intimate, as if you can see them more clearly.
I don't know. Maybe monsters recognize monsters, or something.
That was sort of a long rambling introduction for me to say: I recognized my team tonight. It happened after the penalty conceded by van de Donk. Lyon's eyes darkened. Vexed, vengeful, they became the team I knew so well. As soon as the penalty was conceded I knew that Lyon would win.
I wouldn't have necessarily put my money on van de Donk scoring the next goal, but. I am also not too proud to admit I have been wrong about her. Although I could understand how Lyon came to the conclusion that she would fit the profile they like so much as a No. 10, I had my concerns and reservations. Lyon is an expensive team. Just because the Board of Directors gave her the keys to the Maserati didn't necessarily mean it wouldn't end in a spectacular car crash.
But, as I said, I am not too proud to admit that I wasn't wrong. I think she has grown more comfortable being a playmaker for a team like Lyon. I think she understands the concept of consequences. I don't necessarily mean it in a bad way, just, like. If you make a mistake, Lyon will forgive you as long as you make up for it. I know they were pissed about the penalty. I know it got under their skin.
It made them angry, and it made van de Donk angry, and she has caught on, maybe faster than people necessarily give her credit for, that that is what it takes for Lyon to play better. She described it as "needing a bit of passion" in April 2022, but it's almost simpler than that. They just need something to get pissed off about. They play better when their feelings are hurt. I've been saying this for almost a decade.
I think we saw Henry being, well, Henry again. I am not going to sit here and pretend that Henry and I have completely resolved our differences. But sometimes a lover's quarrel is a good thing. Lyon and Henry might have a complicated relationship at times, but they are still tethered to each other; in games like tonight in the rain, we saw why.
I really, really like Sombath, and I am so glad Lyon saw her potential and promptly stole her from PSG. We are only three league games into the season so this is subject to change, but right now it feels as though we are following a script we have read before, that of Selma Bacha's. I really, really hope the endings are the same.
I don't know how the season will end. I don't think anyone does, not really. I've said privately that I don't actually think we'll know what Lyon truly looks like until October. People will throw around the 2001-2002 stat, but I am actually reminded of another one: in September 2019, Lyon's defense had a truly atrocious month, including conceding three (3!!!) goals in an 8-3 win against Reims. They would go on to concede five (5) goals the rest of the season.
The defense needs a ton of work. I will be screaming louder than anyone if Lyon does not fix that defense. But I acknowledge their handicap, and I acknowledge the precedent.
Lyon and I have a long precedent of working things out. I think we're beginning to see that. I'm not surprised though.
Lyon always did reveal their true colors when it was raining, after all.
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satanwithboobs · 3 years ago
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I get what you mean about some characterisations being a little too on nose sometimes, but at the same time I also think it's fair that writers can write a character however they want as long as its not harming anyone else. especially with new players who haven't yet got a good characterisation of the characters but still want to write, so they just write what they think represents the character best. and some writers also want their ideas to be accepted in the community so their go to writing inspo is the well known facts and behaviours of the character. also there are plenty of writers who struggle to write characters deeply so they just play with the surface level of characters and there's nothing wrong with that. I myself characterise satan a whole lot more than just a cat lover, but for him in particular I don't feel that I'm good at writing him so I don't dive deep into his whole persona the way I do with others. of course I don't just make his and mcs interactions all about cats, but there's nothing wrong if a writer wants to write him how they feel is comfortable, it's the same with any character from any fandom. writing on this platform is all about sharing our ideas and creativity as well as our love for the fandom/characters. there are both new and experienced writers, old and young, every writer is different but we all want to share our work with others and it's sad that a fellow writer would try to disregard other peoples writing just because you want more from it. if you have such a good characterisation, then maybe you could write about it yourself. other writers can still be happy with what they write no matter how little or much the delve into a character, and whether it appeals to others or not. when you say "I'm sick of seeing this or when writers do this" it makes the writers of those things feel so shitty about something they felt so proud of.
Fair point. To add some perhaps needed context to my post, it came from a place of exasperation after the constant mountain of only angry cat boy characterization from the actual Obey Me writers (they do everyone dirty like 99% of the time though). It’s 100% aimed at the canon writers (who barely even use any of that untapped well of interesting content) and 0% toward people just having fun and learning their writing style through a shared passion with others.
(Okay, I tell a fib. 10% of that is aimed at my job for the disappointment that it leaves me so creatively drained 24/7 that I can’t even join in on the shared passion and tap that well for myself right now)
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sainadazai · 3 years ago
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When your crush is angry all the time
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Ch.5
"I don't think fire's all that bad, you know"
3rd person pov
°•○●○•°•○●○•°
As the sun hung high in the sky the h/t haired girl stumbled around the train station in search of a restroom. Y/n had never experienced the mundane tasks a commoner would usually persue on a daily. Things like public transit, or any transit for that matter, were an enigma to her.
So while elder men stared a little too long and young children pointed at her in recognition, she spun in circles like a lost puppy.
"Its just a fucking bathroom, should there be someone here to direct people or something! Ugh and whats with the school girl fetish, these old guy are creeps..." she mumbled to herself continuing to get more and more lost on the platform.
Meanwhile, the rest of 1-A were making their way to internships as well, Midoriya scrolled into some old guys house, Kirishima bumped into his metal replica, and Bakugou held his grump posture and nonchilauntly entered the top 3 heros agency. He was expecting to at least learn something from this guy, or gain real life experience with villains. He never anticipated being scrutinized for his personality. No shit I'm scary, Im trying to kill shitty villains not make teenage girls put a picture of me on their wall.
For the first day of this new challenged everbody seemed to be having a ridiculously mundane time. Not y/n, though. No our main character was going through it, once she made it to the restroom, she got confused by how easily the toilet paper ripped in her hand and spent 20 minutes trying to get at least one whole time out of the stubborn roll. Then, when she opened up her bag to view the new hero-suot her mother helped design...she found strings¿
She ended up having to look at an example picture and read a guide on how to put what where. It took an additional hour considering the tightness of everpiece of fabric and when she stepped out of the stall to look in the mirror, she deadpanned. How could her mother hate her this much? It was already a burden being so sexy, but this? This was crazy.
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She wasnt sure weather she should take a million photos, or never leave the bathroom and cry all day. However when her phone rang, a call from Mr.Woods agency, she realized how late she already must be.
In her rush, y/n also forgot about the creeps men and was recieving many stares, that went unnoticed. Until somebody had the audacity to touch her. It was just a ghost of his finger tips on the underneath of her ass that was no doubt on full display. That would not go accepted, as a girl who had turned her past trauma into nothing but a small personality traits, she wasnt scared. Still, as a woman who absolutely idolizes herself, or so she says, no one in this train station deserved the touch of her perfect, shiny, s/c skin.
The last error that secured her terrible first day was how y/n spun around and grabbed the mans fingertips. When she took a glance at him, he was smiling as if he had acomplished something. Boy was he wrong, only coming to realized so when the y/h girl suddenly had sprouted a vine from his finger.
He watched in fear as it began to grow and wrap around him, all the while the young girl he'd never met before let out a sickening aura that couldve suffocate him then and there. The vine continued to curl up around his middle and ring finger, slowly meeting the flash of his palm.
Once the growing stopped, y/n had almost decided to let him go. A part of her new that her plan wasn't well thought through, and he could be an innocent guy that accidentally touched her.
However, aggression outwayed logic and she looked him deep in the eye.
"You like using these fingers to touch things your not supposed to?"
"N-n-"
"Shhh, dont worry, im just gonna make sure you dont go touching things that arnt yours, okay?" She made an aggresive fist with the hand not touching him and the vine squeezed in. Anyone a foot away would be able to tell, but the both of them could hear how his two fingers snapped and bent under the pressure.
With a satisfied grin at the whispering man, y/n decided he had learned his lesson. Wow look at that, and I didnt even need some manly hero to come save me. Atta girl y/n.
Little did she know that not only did her pro-hero boss come to look for her, but je also saw the whole disaster. He was not pleased to say the least.
Y/n pov
°•○●○•°•○●○•°
As the tree like man sat down in his office chair across from me, all I could do was look to my feet. I didnt feel particularily had about my actions, however, I did feel bad about being late.
While it is fun to be spontanious and act like theres nothing to lose, I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to control the earth aspect of my quirk. Ill never admit it if someone asks, but sometimes the only way I can sleep at night is knowing how strong my quirk is. Knowing that they cant hurt me if I stay strong.
Still, it just seems that as I grow older, the people trying to get to be get bolder and more powerful. Some might even say...they get smarter, too. Thats a scary thought; that if I want to stay alive at all I need to be constantly improving. I am not sure if I want to stay alive or not, but Ill be damned if dying or living isnt my choice.
Feeling the need to break the silence, I began my rant on all the reasons I had come up with that justify my actions. I was planning it on the way out here.
"Look, im sorry mr.woods. I know im not very heroic and shit, but when perverts to pervert things somebody has to do something, and its not like anybody else there would have scared a glance if I didnt save myself-"
"Your wrong."
"Huh- I wasnt done. Anyways i-"
"L/n you are wrong."
"Dude im trying to-"
"There was heroes on patrol, how else did you think i found you? There were real heroes ready to protect you, if you had simply shouted people would have been alarmed of such. I dont understand kids and their need to do everything alone." He rolled his eyes behind his mask and continued to stare at me.
"Excuse me but I dont think your in a place to comment on how I react to myself being touched. He was gonna get my skin dirty and for what, two seconds of his school girl fantasy. Ew."
"Your skin....dirty?"
"Yes, he is nowhere near my standards on someone who should be allowed to touch me...not even a brush of the fingers..ugh!"
"Alright well, I cant get you in trouble because then I get in trouble...so, tell me about your quirk while we go on patrol."
His chair sqeaked against the floor as he stood up and it slid back. Then he motioned for me to follow by painting out the door.
Relieved that I didn't have to talk about all the fake reasons people aren't allowed to touch me, and that I could finally get outside so my quirk would stop suffocating me, I was quick to exit the building.
I'm not sure if its the fact that ive only been using a forth of her, but my quirks side effects have been so shitty recently. To the point that our school nurse estimsted my new rate for being inside for an extended period of time was about three hours.
I havent actually combusted in years, but I've been close and god does it hurt. My chest starts to squeeze and I can feel all the energy drain from my body, then pieces of me start to get hold and cold at the same time.
"So what really is your quirk?"
I looked up at the hero next to me as we continued on down the street of the inner City.
"How much did Aizawa tell you?"
"I-he said...she has all the right elements? And told me I'd figure it out.." He scratched the back of his head.
I smirked at that. Who knew aizawa actually listened to the words I said. I was pretty sure after the whole sulking chrollos dick thing, he would have permanently tuned me out.
"Heh, that raggedy ann bastard" I smile smugly.
"So, what does it mean?"
"Ahh, okay so, did you go to U.A?"
"Um yes kid, why?"
Then im certain je knows of my family, explaining my quirk will be easier. God, this really is my favorite part.
I reached my left hand out, knowing he was right handedly and would respond well to it and then spoke.
"Hi, nice to meet you, im y/n l/n of the elementus royal quirk family."
Once he shook my hand I did a polite curtsey, as I learned in ballet to do that instead of bowing. Its much more fun to do this at family event, where I get to wear big dresses and pretend im important...but this'll have to do.
"The-i-oh shit..." He mumbled the last part in defeat, likely just figuring out what he'd gotten himself in to.
"So, im guessing you've got ...."
"Total control, yup" I confirmed.
"And you wanna focus on earth elements, like what flowers?"
I smirk up at him allowing my aura to put an intimidating facade.
"Actually I was thing more like venus fly traps" as I said traps I let my hands clap together mimicking the plant and bit at the air with my teeth.
He stopped walking and just glanced from side to side, waiting for me to start making sense again.
Until we heard some crying in the distance.
The two of our heads shot over and were met with a strange sight. There were three young boys, looked about 8¿ and a man, hero maybe? Crouched in front of them not looking all that nice. He had spike blonde hair, red eyes, gauntlets on his wris-
"Oh my god its bakugou, look sir! Thats the hot guy I switched schools for!"
"Wha-"
"BAKUGOUUUU!! HEYYY!"
his head slowly shifted from the kids to me and it seemed to only make him more angry. Then, once again I couldn't help but bask in the pure aggression...in his eyes.
They were red, fitting for the anger thry held, but it was beautiful. It was passionate, the way he could yell for hours about god knows what because he cares. He may care about petty things, or silly things, but he always cares so much. So passionately. That I can see it in his eyes.
"Oh my, whAt is this costume deary?"best jeanist spoke from ahead of us as we approach.
"Hi sir, sorry about the skin showing, my quirk is heavily enhanced the more my pours are exposed to the natural elements, especially oxygen. If I was more covered parts of my body would begin to go completely numb. Also doesnt my body look amazing! Im a lot more in shape since you saved me last"
I blamed happily at jeanist. Though we arent neceserilly close, he is definitely a great hero and has always been someone who easily sees through my façaude. Plus his fashion sense is wonderful and I often send him pictures of my outfits. Although he doesnt respond I know he sees them and if they were bad he would be mean about it instead of ignoring it.
"Well. It definitely gives your body..access to that. And the sword?"
Ahh...the sword that I liked to carry. It was now stored in its place on my back.
"Call it a good luck charm, plus, we cant rely only on our quirks, then we are just weak people with strong powers. Rather than strong people."
I was always one to put on a show for him, as I do for lost of pro heroes. Its a lot more fun to say things like your all serious and fancy and smart sometimes. Its my little inside joke with myself, like to laugh at how easily people are awed by it.
Like how even though children were still crying bakgou was staring at me face void of emotion, completely struck at my words.
Definitely not..staring at my body that was exposed. Not eyeing the tight strap that wraps my left leg, that he doesnt know is a funcional lasso.
Noticing him, im quick to avert my attention.
"Hey bakugou~"
"Tch you really went from shitty princess to slutty princess huh?"
"You really went from telling deku you'd be number one hero, to making kids cry on the street, huh?" I challenged
I heard the crying boys laugh a little, just the age reminded me of my brother, Im sure they have nothing in common, but I havent seen any of my brothers in quite some time so I suppose a small part of me was just projecting.
I hated that they were crying, though. Ussually I dont like kids, they are stinky and gross and the main reason people have been ruining my life up til now. However, noticing these three reacting to bakugou in a way I wish emotionally available enough for, it made me feel obligated to help them. Wierd, huh.
"Hey, did that guy use his fire all scary?"
"Yeah, he was gonna kill us"
"Fires scary."
I giggled a bit, I knew fire like the back of my hand. It was the first thing I mastered as a child and the way I see bakugou use it doesnt to the element justice.
"Hm, well, I dont think so...can I show you something?"
The kid in the middle, apparently the braver of them, lifted his gaze from the concrete to meet my eyes. Just as I crouched down to my knees in front of them he nodded up at me.
I smiled at this, proud that I earned his trust for...some odd reason.
My hands formed a cup shape in front of him and I focused my ears so I could hear the blood rushing through my own brain, like waves. This was how I learned to use elements singularly: by using my internally noise to block out everything else.
I first allowed a small line of fire to dance around, now bigger than a candle wick. Then through another, and another as the boy watched carefully. Not yet impressed his face was still caustious. However I continued focusing my energy, feeling my body, the air around me, the heat of the sun, even remember the passion from bakugous crimson eyes.
I as I did so the many small flames twirled and twisted within eachother forming into a beautiful blue and orange fluctuating flower.
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The boy looked into my hands mouth now agape, tears dried, fear gone. Then, again, for some reasons unbeknownst to me... I felt a sense of pride.
He tapped his friends so they would look up and I continued making my fire into different things, birds, planes, people. The kids were entranced.
I looked back to see the two pros staring at me with a certain level of pride mixer with shock. While bakugou seemed at a loss for words. God knows why this time?
"I don't think fire is all that bad you know..."
"Pft, yeah, I know kid," with that I threw my little flames above their heads and let the sparks fall down of them like shiny glitter. Then, overwhelmed with this horrible feeling in my chest. I retreatdd to my boss for the weak. Was that..happiness? Ew.
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mxcrowe · 7 years ago
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hey friendo i sent you an ask a while back and idk if you answered it or if im just an idiot so i'm gonna send you a new one! you said that you have your own sides? i've put a little bit of thought into it but like i don't have any ideas yet. what are yours like? (also please tag me in this ask because i can never find them)
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Oh my, people actually want to know about my sides? I'm actually rlly happy oml thanks for asking!!
So, I've got five sides planned rn, maybe I'll be adding more? But for now, we have:
Anxiety (Audie)- Responsible for all my fears, insecurities, a lil bit of depression,  and, well... Anxiety. And they're a huge dick. They won't hesitate to call on your bullshit, deck you over a box of paperclips, and sell you to Satan for one (1) corn chip. Frankly, they're v angry half of the time and they're ready to throw hands at any given moment. But, let's be honest, Audie's like the most sensitive person in the world and a big softie, especially with Intuition and Virtue. Mostly Intuition. Also, the living, breathing example of a tsundere and will snap your neck if you call them that. (I just realized he might actually be Yurio, oh my god)
Intuition (Tallis)- Responsible for my ability to make decisions, intelligence, common sense, and useless random facts. Tallis is extremely insecure about their intelligence and feel like they're not good enough for their role, unable to voice their own thoughts since they think it's not needed or not "smart enough", so they keep quiet most of the time. They're just a huge mental mess, objectively speaking, and most likely the most angsty one, excluding Audie. Audie's the one who tries to help Tallis to speak up and value their intelligence, despite them having a rocky sort of relationship with each other. Also, a colossal nerd who can recite conversations in TV show and books to a tee. Probably owns a million of those fidget cubes and somehow managed to break all of them. Mom Friend™
Innovation (Elci)- Responsible for my artistry, obsessions, romantic feelings, and self-confidence. Speaking of self-confidence... Elci's is way below the floor, but hey, they try!! They get easily distracted and they either never get things done or work on 1000000000 things at once and somehow finish all of them, but they're all kinda shitty. They're into all of the fandoms. All of them. And probably writes shitty fanfiction about themself and Robbie Rotten. Their ADHD is in M A X I M U M  O V E R D R I V E all the time and they cannot stop. Help them. Also personal space??? Who's she????? Never heard of her. They won't hesitate on passionately making out with you, yes homo. Intrusive thoughts 24/7 bitchhhhh.
Virtue (Sabri)- Responsible for emotions, optimism, memories, and my childlike demeanor. Imagine Phil Lester, and multiply it by ten. That's Sabri. Also ADHD, but a bit more toned down than Elci's. Cries all day every day about the most trivial of things ("Why are you crying now?" "The wind blew too hard on me, I thought me and the wind were friends! But wind hates me!! I'm sad!!!!!!"). One time they're giggling at absolutely everything and is in pure Bliss, and as soon as you know it, they're locked inside the bathroom bawling their eyes out for three weeks. There's no in-between. They have no idea how to cope with anything, so they just. Let things happen. Has v v dark humor and it catches everyone off guard, meanwhile Audie's just cackling in the background.
Slack (Reece)- Responsible for my procrastination, exhaustion, will of doing tasks, and carelessness. Reece gives absolutely no fucks on anything whatsoever and has probably been caught by the police a few hundred times. An actual slut with high standards. Never thinks twice and just gets themself in trouble every goddamn day, they don't know how to care for themself. Them and Audie are besties and often get together to plan on how to fuck everyone over in less than three minutes. Their record is 25 seconds, and they'll soon break that record again. No one is safe from the Power Duo Of Fuckery™.
HOO BOY THAT TOOK WAY LONGER THAN IT SHOULD HAVE.
So yeah, there you have it. The Crowe Sides. That doesn't have a nice ring to it, nevermind-
I'll probably be posting some drailwings of them in the future, that is if anyone wants to see them. We'll see.
@charlie-frown
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