#and I'm sure they have their own problems and difficulties but I'm selfish and bitter

[sevicia]

When I was in my second year of high school I remember sitting on the bleachers w/ my friends and we were like joking & laughing & stuff like that and suddenly two of them go "I'd kiss you! Come here!!" and proceed to kiss and I was like trying to act normal but inside I was freaking out like WHAT HOW DID YOU DO THAT. IS THAT NORMAL.

And through the years I've realized it's actually pretty normal for friends to like, kiss and stuff like that, but I just can't wrap my head around it .⁠·⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠(⁠>⁠▂⁠<⁠)⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠·⁠. I think it's because I'm WAYY too sensitive and take everything too seriously.

Like I remember when I was around 7? A girl who called herself my friend (I did not consider her a friend. she was very mean to me) went up to my desk so I looked up at her and she went "WOW you look so cute I wanna kiss you!" and I, seven years old and clueless towards the cruelties of the world, closed my eyes, to which she started literally howling with laughter and telling me how stupid I was to think anyone would kiss someone like me.

I mean I know I don't have to worry because I am the world's weakest soldier when it comes to social interactions -> won't ever get close to someone to the point they'd feel comfortable like actually kissing me but the thought makes me so anxious .⁠·⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠(⁠>⁠▂⁠<⁠)⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠·⁠. sometimes I find a lot of comfort in being so throroughly unattractive cause I don't have to worry about all that. But also I don't wanna be alone forever. RAHHHHH 🦖🦖🦖

[one-boring-person]

Just A Babysitter. (Part One)

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: alcohol use

Context: (Y/n) lives/is close friends with the boys, and will do almost anything for them as she sees them as a family. However, since Star and Laddie joined the coven, she's felt a little distanced from them. (I say that the reader is female, but I'm pretty sure there is no explicit reference to gender that isn't easily overlooked, so it can apply to other readers, too.)

A/N: This started as a oneshot, but has now become a story of sorts, so I'll post it in parts. :))

Part Two , Part Three , Part Four , Part Five , Part Six , Part Seven , Part Eight

Irritation courses through me as Star drags me into the crowd of writhing bodies, the half-vampire laughing happily to both herself and Laddie, who is being pulled around by the hand, wincing when some greasy rocker tries to come closer to me even after only being there for two seconds, my elbow landing a hefty thump into his abdomen in order to get rid of him. The music is loud in my ears, though it isn't unpleasant at all, the heavy saxophone-laced rhythm lightening my mood a little as I start to move in time with it, keeping an eye on my two wards, especially Laddie, who has a tendency to run off. For a few minutes, we continue to enjoy the music before I feel her tense up beside me, someone having caught her rapt attention.

Looking over, I follow her line of sight to a brunette I don't recognise, the guy staring at her without abandon, even when who I presume to be his younger brother slaps his cheek. Instantly, I get a bad feeling about him, not trusting the way he eyes the girl beside me, no matter how endearing she may find it. I have the feeling she will try to lure him away from the crowd and make him her first kill; my hunch only confirmed when she passes Laddie off onto me and ducks out of the throng of dancers, leaving me to pick up her pieces again. Growling to myself, I swiftly lift the youngster onto my shoulders, putting on a false grin when he squeals in excitement, giving him some excuse about finding him some sweets back on the Boardwalk to get him to come willingly.

"Where'd Star go?" Laddie questions me, voice barely audible over the throbbing music.

"I don't know. Wanna go find her?" I respond, squeezing his legs gently when he assents, holding onto my head so he can steady himself. Ignoring the gradually building ache in my back, I follow the direction Star walked off into, giving the boy on my shoulders the strict instructions to keep an eye out for the half-vampire, offering him a chocolate bar as a reward.

Carefully, we make our way onto the Boardwalk, avoiding some of the more rowdy surfers and party-goers, my focus set on finding Star amongst the people lining the roads. It doesn't take me long, though I let Laddie point her out to me, allowing him the small burst of pride that likely accompanies the achievement, no matter how small it is. Heading over to her, I reach into my pocket and pass the boy the chocolate bar I always keep on me, smiling when he giggles in satisfaction, the sound of the wrapper being torn open quickly coming from above me.

"Hey Star. Find what you were looking for?" I greet, giving her a suggestive look when she acknowledges me, though it is obvious that she is still distracted.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I did." She replies, turning to walk away again, silently demanding that I follow her, knowing I can't disobey David's strict rules from before.

"Look! There's Dwayne and David! And Marko and Paul!" Laddie points out after a few minutes of navigating the heaving crowd, gesturing to the right to show us where he means, waving at the coven of vampires as we turn to approach them, my shoulders screaming for relief. Moments later, we break through the people blocking our view of them, greeting the laid-back vampires accordingly.

"Having fun?" Paul questions me in particular, knowing full well I hate having to watch over the irritating half-vampire, his voice teasing as he sends me a pointed look.

"Oh, tonnes." I respond dryly, letting Laddie down as Star climbs onto David's bike with him, wrapping her arms around his waist and looking at me with a small smirk on her face, the gesture inciting a pang of jealousy within me, before she glances off to the side, David following her gaze. Doing the same, I suppress the urge to roll my eyes as I recognise the brunette from earlier, instead focusing on helping Laddie onto Dwayne's motorbike, telling him to hold on tight. In response to this, Laddie smiles at me, Dwayne doing the same as he kicks his bike into gear, thankful that I did the job none of them wanted to do.

"Lets go, boys." David announces, looking at me expectantly, even though the term "boys" does not (necessarily) apply to me.

"I'll catch up." I mutter, before turning away and disappearing into the crowd, aiming for the bar at the edge of the Boardwalk, sighing as I hear the tell tale roaring of the motorcycle engines retreating over the cheerful music lingering in the air.

On my own, I manage to cut a path through the mass of people with decent success, quickly reaching my destination without any difficulty. Pushing open the door, I enter the dusky bar and head over to the counter, signalling for the bartender to take my order. By now, they all know my usual and will just prepare it for me without me having to ask, the tumbler of whiskey swiftly appearing before me, though I stop the blonde girl from leaving as she turns away.

"Leave the bottle, please." I request, pulling out enough money to pay for it from my jacket pocket, handing it to her in exchange for the large bottle of strong whiskey she places on the counter. Thanking her, I swill the liquid in my glass around for a few seconds, taking a drink when I'm satisfied with it, relishing in the burn that accompanies the flow of alcohol down my throat - none of them question my age anymore, not after the boys had a word with them.

I repeat this motion until the glass is empty, choosing to focus on that rather than the reality I face when I get home, back to the boys and their new half-vampire "friends". It shouldn't bother me, I know they all care for me and do their best to show me this, but something about Star and Laddie's sudden entrance to our way of life seems to make them forget this, most of my old friends' attention now lingering on them, rather than on me, like it used to. A bitter chuckle leaves me inadvertently as I think this, mentally calling myself selfish and pushing that last part down into the depths of my mind, knowing that I've had my fair share of attention from them in the past four or five years. I slam the glass on the table as the last of the amber liquid runs down my throat, shaking my head to snap myself out of my thoughts before heaving myself to my feet and walking out, taking the bottle of whiskey with me.

Upon leaving, I swiftly find my bike on the near-deserted Boardwalk, climbing onto it, only to take a moment to take a drink from the bottle in my hand, wincing as the strong alcohol burns its way down into my stomach. As I lower it, I notice a familiar brunette walking over to me, a curious expression on his face as he watches mine become one of confusion; it's not often that an interest of Star's wants to speak with me.

"Hey, can I help you?" I greet him as he finally arrives, looking him up and down a little to gauge his motive for approaching me.

"Err, yeah, I was just wondering where your friend is." The guy explains to me, frowning when I forget to disguise my eyeroll.

"Star? She isn't my friend." I correct him, not too willing to go into specifics with him.

"Star, huh? Nice name." He murmurs, almost to himself as if I'm not right there.

"If you like that kinda thing." I shrug dismissively, taking another drink from the bottle before offering it to him, giving him a small smirk when he accepts.

"Thanks," He says, returning the bottle to me as he continues, "You two aren't friends? You seemed pretty close earlier. You, her and those weird guys."

"Weird guys? Don't say that to their faces." I chuckle, grinning widely at him as he laughs in response, "I'm not close with Star, but the guys are my family, so I guess we're pretty close."

"Family? Like brothers or something?"

"Family in the non-biological sense of the word. They helped me through some tough times." I affirm, once again trying to avoid telling him the truth.

"Right. Well, do you know where they went?" The brunette questions me again, giving me another hopeful look.

"No, they never tell me anything anymore." I reply bitterly, even if the words are only half true, drinking again despite having to drive in a few minutes. What's life without a little risk, eh?

"I thought you said they were like your family?" He frowns at me again, believing that I'm holding something from him, which is entirely true.

"Yeah, but not even a family is completely truthful with one another." I remind him, deciding a stronger warning is needed, "Take it from me, of all the people you can hang with in this town, they should not be your first choice."

Yet more confusion etches itself onto his face at my words, going to say something before I cut him off.

"What's your name, by the way? I can pass it on to Star if I see her again tonight." I promise, though it is likely they will see each other again tomorrow, so there's not much point on my behalf.

"Oh, I'm Michael, or Mike for short." He informs me, smiling again as I reach out to shake his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Mike. I'm (Y/n)."

"Nice talking to you, (Y/n). Thanks for the advice."

"No problem." I laugh, looking at my watch briefly as I try to figure out the time, "Damn, I'd better get going, or the boys'll have my ass for breakfast."

Amused by my "figure of speech", Michael quickly says his goodbyes as I kick the bike into life, relishing in the feeling of the engine purring beneath me. Stashing the bottle in the compartment under the seat, I rev the motorcycle a little before applying he throttle, a delirious whoop of exhilaration escaping me as I charge off the Boardwalk and onto the most direct road to Hudson's Bluff, ignoring the angry protests of the civilians around me, concentrating on getting myself home instead.

Part Two

[midnight-lightning]

Piece of gold Follow your heart

Loki x reader

This happened because of free time, a little inspiration and missing Loki.

Special thanks go out to @peanut-butter-sandwiches​ 💫

Summary:

You and Loki were already a certain amount of time in a relationship and although you love each other incredibly the last time seems to be full of difficulties.

Well, who could be a better help than Loki's mother her self, who gives her son an advice that could change things- in a better or worse way.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Five days had already passed. Five long days and it was tearing him apart.

Of course, it was not like he hadn't work to do for him self -quite the opposite- but he was just missing her.

If somebody had told him a few months earlier that he would be feeling in such ways he would have possibly just laugh him off.

But here he was, counting the minutes since he had last seen her.

Five full days and one night had passed since the single thirty minutes they had spent together and even during this short among of time they had merely spoken about the plans concerning the future.

Unfortunately, it was not their relationship that was the topic of the future.

No, since the attack Y/N and a lot of other workers had advocated for the reconstruction of the library, as it had been damaged very badly.

And everyone who knew this women knew, that she'd put all her power and soul in this library and it's treasures.

Sometimes, when there was enough time, Loki assisted her, not only for her alone but for himself and a lot of others also.

After all this used to be his dearest place in the whole kingdom, a place where he found shelter from everyone and everything and a place that never failed to surprise him with new stories and sometimes with meeting certain library workers who would change one life.

"That's enough." The voice of his mother and the sudden noise of a book being shut closed brought Loki back to the present.

"Tell me what keeps bothering you, darling, although I can already think of certain reasons."

He looked up to her face, which showed a gentle smile, as always.

His amazing Mother, who could never fail in sensing others problems.

"Mother, please. We should keep our focus on this work."

"There's enough time for this. What's wrong, Loki, I see the glance in your eyes and it's not bright. Is it your beloved girl?"

This comment made Loki cough in embarrassment and he showed her a fretful gaze. "Please, don't call her that."

"Oh? So you do not love her? Because I'm certain this is not true."

On this her son remained silent, even avoided her gaze.

Why was it so hard for this boy to open up, when he was already like an open book for her. Frigga just wanted to hear the words from himself.

"Loki..." She whispered and put a gentle hand on his leg.

"It's complicated," Loki answered shortly while he put his mother's hand back.

"Believe me, son I know complicated and this is it not, not at all.

She makes you happy, one can see it clearly, you are like two pieces that fit perfectly together.

I know this, I know her and I know you."

This words made him finally look up. And what Frigga saw in his eyes was something she had wished him all his life. She would wish this to everyone.

This love in his eyes for this girl was pure and deep, all he needed was trust.

Loki couldn't bear this tense anymore so he stood up and began to walk in the room, trying to clear his thoughts.

He loved his mother dearly for her advises and her wise words but this made him somehow feel constricted. Because this time Friggas words wouldn't make a difference, no matter what she'd say, it was all his choice and his own ways to act.

"I'm not sure how this will work out. There are a lot of complexities ahead of us-"

"And you will manage them together, I promise you," answered the queen before he could even finished his sentence. She stood now also, taking both of his hands in his. "That's the beautiful thing about love, you are never alone."

It took Loki a few moments before he chose his next words.

"I do love her, mother, and I don't want to lose her."

"I know this quite a while now, Loki. That's why I'm sure now is the right moment," his mother said quietly.

"For what?"

"To give you this." She lifted her right hand a little and took off one of her rings.

Loki followed every one of her movements with an astonished expression.

"Odin had given me that a long time ago. Once it had belonged to his mother who was given it by her husband.

It's the sign of love between two people, a promise, Loki."

Frigga placed the ring in her son's hand and closed it with gentle force, then she looked him deep in his eyes.

"Don't be afraid of letting love into your heart. Follow it's words and you may find your happiness."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The conservation with his mother let Loki with strange feelings. But not negative ones.

They were more a little overwhelming.

He had the possibility to change his future for ever, be with the woman he loved and cared for. And he knew this had always been one of his deepest desires.

But there were still dark thoughts.

What if she would be unhappy with him?

What if his dark sides would over power him?

And wouldn't it be better for Y/N to have a life without him?

But then he imagined what life would be without her, without her perky comments, her smile, her laugh, her inspirational words, without her presence at all.

Instead she would be married to a noble soldier or somebody like that , having a save happy life, maybe children...

And just these thoughts made Loki feel like something was eating him from the inside out. It was more than awful. Unbearable.

And yes, maybe it was selfish, maybe he should let her go but in this moment and for ever he just wanted to hold her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her for her simple being. After all she had already changed his life.

And in the end, if she didn't want this all she needed to say was 'no'.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Y/N!" She was in the library, of course she was and as soon as he saw her his heart beat a little bit faster.

Y/N turned around and a beautiful smile spread on her face as she recognised him.

"Loki! It's been years and I'm so so sorry for that-"

But Loki didn't even let her finished. When he reached her Loki just put a hand on her cheek and pulled her in a loving kiss.

He felt how she smiled into the kiss.

But (un-)fortunately Loki didn't just come for a kiss, there was a little bit more.

Though, both of them stood silently there for a while, forehead on forehead and with a big smile. Loki then softly stroke a strand of her hair behind her ear before he whispered, "We need to talk."

Maybe she heard the seriousness in his voice, maybe she knew it was time to talk whatever it was she simply nodded with a severe expression and turned back in order to talk to a woman on the other side of the room.

When she came back she gave him a little unsure smile and then took his hand.

"Alright, let's go somewhere more private."

At first Loki didn't know where to go as he hadn't planned anything, he just followed his heart, so he then simply followed his first intentions and they came out next to a fountain

"Do you remember this place?"he asked while looking out of the window in the night sky.

"Of course", she answered with a dreamy smile. "We met here once after the dinner with your family and then you invited me to the ball. Well... I didn't really had the chance to say no."

"We both know you'd never had say no."

Both of them smiled of this memory before a tensed silence came up.

Then Loki mumbled, quite melancholy. "A lot had happened since then."

Y/N turned to him, worried and with a bitter feeling of guilt because both of them were focused a little too much in their works these time.

"Loki- I know the last weeks were not quite the way we had imagined it, and I know we haven't seen us that much lately and I am so sorry but we can-"

"Marry me."

"Wh-hat?"

What by Odin's beard had she just heard?

He couldn't really mean-

Loki turned around, facing her, focusing on her shocked eyes, and trying to calm himself down, before he took her hand and said: "Y/N, the day I've met you in the library? It was the day that lead to something I've never thought I could feel. I didn't even think I deserved this-you, I still don't think I do.

But the last weeks showed that all the time I haven't seen you it was like one part of me was missing also.

Your simple presence makes me feel alive and complete, your laughter, your smiles even your tears. I love every single thing about you and .... and I want this forever. If you... want me, too..."

When Loki slowly bend down on his knee, still holding her now shaking hand in his own he used his other hand to take out the ring his mother had given him and then he said the words.

"Y/N, would you allow me to spent the eternity with you?"

He saw the tears in her eyes but she still didn't say a word.

And just the moment he thought he'd lost everything Y/N's shocked face turned into a smile and a small laugh escaped her.

"There's nothing in the world I would rather do."

When he heard her very voice saying this very words Loki barely noticed how he put the ring on her finger or when he stood up, the only thing he knew was the incredible feeling of happiness, relief and love he felt when he pulled her into his arms.

His future wife, the woman he loved and who loved him back.

But she was shaking so much right now he was a little concerned about her well being.

"I love you, my queen," Loki mumbled with a smile, while he was stroking her hair glancing once again up to the stars

He heard her laugh before she quietly answered. "I love you too...so much."

_______________________

This is the latest part of a serie actually

here is part 1

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